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whispersweetpuns · 4 months

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Chapter 1...??? Dare I continue?

She surreptitiously slipped from the nondescript warehouse, the darkness that lay within still clinging to her soul. The weight of her misdeeds sitting heavy on her shoulders, inescapable but necessary. A weary sigh slipped through parted lips as though it clawed its way forth from the deepest parts of her and she ran her tongue along her lips. The bitter tang of blood danced across her senses along with the salty taste of sweat.

Battle weary she slumped against the warehouse door, dropping her head back and staring up into the downpour that offered to cleanse the taint from the city streets. If only it could do the same to wash the taint from her blackened soul or wash the blood from her hands, a thought that had a manic chuckle bubbling in her chest. Dragging the back of her hand across her split lip she raised her hand to view the intermingling of red that painted her skin. Blood. Hers? Theirs? Did it really matter anymore? She was always covered in it, she saw it splattered across her flesh even when she was pristine, even when duty wasn’t calling for hands to paint a picture of violence.

She stood there for minutes or hours, who’s to say really? Time lost its meaning for her years ago. Days dancing into one another, passing through her, around her, over her. Everything had started to blur together and she was a tattered marionette playing her part. Rao, her body felt so heavy as she stood there staring into the starless sky that threatened to swallow her whole, with the flickering streetlights refracting off the chilling rain. A rain that felt like needles against the sensitive nerves of her flesh. Giant droplets cascaded from her hair and carved a pathway over her skin and yet she would never be clean again. If only the roar of the downpour were enough to drown out the symphony of screams continuing to play its rendition across her mind.

Fingers wrapped around wet strands of hair as the sound of tearing fabric pierced the night. The waves of grief and guilt were cresting and breaking over her and she was caving under their onslaught. If tears fell into the mix of rain dancing across her face she would never admit it.

She was crouched, caved in on herself, braced precariously against the door, the flesh of her back exposed, fighting to drag each shallow breath into her lungs when Alex emerged from the obscurity of shadows. Maybe Alex called to her once, maybe it was a thousand times, who was she to say? She was underwater, after all, drowning, why would reality mean anything? It wasn’t until a gentle hand tentatively clasped her shoulder paired with a tenderly whispered “Kara?” that she could pull herself back to the surface.

Alex watched as she finally got a response from the woman before her. Kara jolted and her head jerked up. Wild, bewildered blue eyes greeted Alex as she tried to relate the version of the woman before her now with the one she knew. It had been years since she had seen this version of her sister.

“Supergirl, what’s wrong? Are you injured?”

The blonde shook her head once, both in response to the question and to clear her muddled mind. She rose to her full height and rolled her shoulders back, trying to shake the weariness that had built a home of her bones. Tipping her head back she dragged her gaze to the sky for a moment, allowing the frigid rain to wash away the momentary slip of her mask, the lapse in her assumed persona. It was like a switch flipped and then she was nodding with resolve as she looked to her sister with a twisted smile and hard eyes. Supergirl. Yes, that’s who she was now. How could she forget? How could she be so disgustingly weak to be found in a sniveling heap? It was loathsome really, and dangerous. Luckily it had only been Alex that happened upon her in such a state, as Kara. For it was Kara who felt regret and guilt over the pain she was inflicting. Kara was a name for a person she couldn’t lay claim to anymore. She was Supergirl now, a remorseless woman with steel in her veins. Cool and calculating. Unyielding. Unrelenting. Solitary. A woman cloaked in cruelty, wearing violence like a shroud.

A well-practiced smile slid onto her lips as she assumed the air of confidence she wore like armor. “I’m fine, Alex.” She said waiving a dismissive hand and leasing a condescending laugh. “I’m Supergirl, remember? You just said so yourself.”

Alex’s gaze was searching, assessing, and as if the state she found her in wasn’t damning enough, her eyes zeroed in on the split lip. She gave Supergirl a cool glare and opened her mouth, unsure whether to question or reprimand, but the choice was stolen from her. The words dying on her tongue as Supergirl gave her a cold glare, stepping from the shadows of the warehouse and into the flickering glow of the streetlamp light. The blonde’s demeanor brooked no room for reproach as she stood there amid the dilapidated buildings on the dirty city streets, drenched in rain and blood, and lit by the harsh streetlight, like an angel of vengeance.

There was no space for words as Alex found herself wishing, not for the first time, that she could lift this burden from her sister. The woman standing before her was so far removed from the girl she had helped to navigate the world when they were younger. This was no longer the girl who longed to be close to others, to belong, no longer was she the young woman whose genuine laugh flowed freely, who sang karaoke, and recited the lines of every Disney movie without shame. The sister she had grown up with was gone and had been for quite some time. This wasn’t the life she wanted for either of them, wasn’t the life either of them had dreamed of growing up. The world had other plans for them though, and necessity and selflessness stripped Kara of who she once was and left this Supergirl version in its place. That was why she was caught so off guard earlier by the scene that greeted her when she approached the warehouse doors. It was the first crack in Supergirl’s mask that she had been witness to in years. Something she would have to tuck away and ponder for another day. She was pulled from her reverie by the harsh words of Supergirl.

“They will think twice before trying to cheat us out of the money we are due again. Pretty sure I made it clear that there will be no second warning, that they are lucky I am even giving them a second chance in the first place. You know I’m not much for second chances.” She let a malicious smirk slip onto her lips that no longer felt like her own as she ‘absentmindedly’ rubbed at the blood coating her hands. “You know, I don’t need a babysitter when I do this part of the job, right? As a matter of fact, I think I have made it rather clear that I prefer to work alone.” She leveled a hard look at Alex, “Now that I think about it, I believe I told you to go home and relax because I would be walking home after I was finished. What was unclear about those directions?”

Alex scoffed and sent an indignant look her way. “I find it cute that you think I do anything more than humor your ‘orders’ on a good day. You may be the don but that has never made you my boss little sister. Regardless of any hierarchy, I will always put your safety and well-being first. I know you can do things alone but you don’t have to.” She glanced up at her umbrella, “I also happen to check the weather, which you obviously couldn’t be bothered to do. Or did you intend to walk home in this downpour?” Alex gestured toward all of Supergirl, “As terrifying or badass as you look right now, you probably shouldn’t be doing a walkabout with all of that blood splatter. Not exactly keeping a low profile that way. Plus, the drowned rat look is not in style this season.” She moved toward Supergirl under the streetlight so they were both under the protection of the umbrella. “C’mon Supergirl. Monnie’s waiting for us with the car a couple blocks down.”

Supergirl just nodded and fell into step beside Alex, mumbling about being the boss and what she had to do to get some respect around here. Alex just nudged her with her shoulder, slipped a lolly from her pocket and handed it to Supergirl. She took it and pocketed the wrapper before starting on the lolly.

“You know, working alone gives me more creative freedom. I always do my best work when I’m alone. Created a beautiful picture of pain this evening.” She even wore the mask for her sister and practiced lying to everyone in her life because the hardest lies of all were the ones she had to keep telling herself. It was just easier this way, to try and be as absorbed in the Supergirl persona as she could be, except in quiet moments when she was alone.

See the truth is she hates this part of the job, playing the enforcer. One might even say it was her least favorite part of being head of the House of El. Sure, as don she could easily assign the job to one of the other members of the family. She had their loyalty and their respect, they would do anything she asked of them, and therein lies part of the problem. It felt like an abuse of said loyalty and respect for her to demand they do a job that she, herself couldn’t bear to partake in. She was willing to bear it so that her people did not have to.

Alex watched shadows play across her sister’s face. Though Supergirl wore it well, she could see the weight of this life burdening her strong shoulders. She wanted to ask about the breakdown Supergirl had been in the midst of when she walked up but knowing Supergirl, it would be like it never happened. Just another thing to add to the list that they would never talk about.

As they approached a trash bin, Supergirl stepped from the safety of the umbrella and discarded the lolly stick, then pulled a handful of wrappers from her pocket and deposited them too. “I think, I would like to stop by L.L. Beans on the way home.”

Alex sighed, “Correct me if I’m wrong but don’t you normally have enough trouble sleeping on nights like these, without the added hurdle of caffeine thrown into the mix?” As soon as she said it she wished she could take it back, catch the words in the air, and rearrange them before they reached Supergirl. Alex knew she was dancing dangerously close to the precipice of one of the many topics they do not discuss and she wasn’t sure it would take much to push her sister over the edge tonight.

Supergirl’s already staunch posture went rigid at the words before slowly turning to face her. Alex was greeted with dull, glazed eyes like Supergirl was somewhere a million miles away from here. A haunted look flashed over her face before manic mirth lit her eyes.

“I’m craving some hot cocoa. It sounds absolutely divine right now, to help chase away the chill of the rain,” and with that, she pivoted and resumed the trek to the car, as if unphased by the downpour of cold rain. Alex noted the careful avoidance of the true point of her words. She resigned herself to that being the end of that particular conversation and began to trail after her sister.

As the pair approached the vehicle, Monnie got out and stepped into the low glow of the car's parking lights greeting them with a light smile. “How’d it go boss?!”

“Let’s just say they won’t make the same mistake again,” she chuckled. Monnie’s eyes tracked her as she stepped into the light and an appreciative glint lit his face. Maybe it was her words, or maybe it was her blood-soaked appearance, but his smile turned sinister, almost wicked, the shadows played over his face in the low light.

“Perfect. You know, I would always be more than happy to help you play the role of enforcer.” He was bouncing on the balls of his feet now, vibrating with energy, practically salivating at the thought of tearing someone apart. THIS. This was reason number two for her taking on the enforcer job and not submitting to the desire to delegate. The cruelty. They seemed to revel in inflicting pain, the way she would show up in blood-stained clothes.

Supergirl simply shrugged nonchalantly, “ Oh, I know and I greatly appreciate it. This is my play time though. I’ve always been a bit of an artist and this is when I get to create such beautiful poetry. Call me selfish but this is one thing I simply MUST keep to myself.” The words tasted bitter on her tongue, lies always did.

Monnie nodded in understanding, an almost feral look gracing his face. “I completely understand boss! You work so hard for all of us, it’s only fair that you get to have some fun too! Just know that if you ever get bored with it I would be more than willing to take up the mantle.”

Supergirl hummed her understanding but offered nothing further. Glancing at Alex she said, “Grab my spare clothes from the trunk would you? I don’t want to frighten everyone when we stop at L.L. Beans.” She heard a sound from Alex that was walking the line between acknowledgment and disapproval that she chose to ignore. This was one thing that she wanted for herself. One small moment of normalcy she allowed herself.

Monnie opened the door as Supergirl approached to get in, and flipped her a lolly with a smile and wink before shutting the door and climbing into the driver’s seat. Alex slid into the back next to Supergirl with the spare clothes in tow. “Monnie, Supergirl wants to stop at L.L. Beans before we take her home. Please roll up the partition so she can get cleaned up.” The sound of the partition going up was the only acknowledgment she needed that he had heard her.

Supergirl sat staring down at the lolly in her hands, flashing back to that first night. The first time she had been forced to slip on this secondary mask of enforcer for the family. Her stomach had turned acrid and she lost her lunch. She hadn’t been sick like that since, somehow able to wrangle her body into submission, but her stomach always went sour and the bitter taste always returned. She had turned to lollies to mask her distaste for her own actions, using the sweetness to cut through the harsh reality of her life. The family had noticed their boss had a sweet tooth so they all kept lollies on hand for her. Perhaps they could be kind, or maybe they just wanted to keep her happy. She had developed a reputation after all.

She unwrapped the lolly and slipped it between her lips before beginning to change and clean the blood off of her as best she could in the back of the moving car. She moved as if on autopilot, a woman lost to her own musings. Pondering her own cruelties.

She offered mercy when she could. Went as easy as she could on people as her reputation allowed. She couldn’t let word get around that she was soft though, or she would be deposed and then all hell would break loose in this city, on its people. She could do this, she had to do this. The only line of defense keeping the animals at bay, the only stalwart against the storm threatening to break. She was the only thing standing between outright, cold-blooded murder. The only buffer that could keep the family from engaging in turf wars. Her life was no longer hers but she would have to live with that, suffer in her solitude in order to keep this city from imploding on itself. If she didn’t continue to play the game, if she quit working the board it would take no time at all for the Luthor’s and the House of El to be at war, and National City would be the casualty. What else could one expect when the two largest players in the city's crime syndicate decided they had tolerated one another long enough? She had to keep running interference for as long as she remained in this world. Things were especially tense now that there was a shift of power in the Luthor family. A shift that she had played a hand in occurring.

Lex had been at their throats for years. He was a vicious and conniving genius, but he was playing classical chess and Supergirl was playing three-dimensional chess. He had been coming for El. So, she may have had a hand in organizing for him to have a lengthy vacation at Arkham. In the long run, it was the best decision she could have made for the circumstances, but there is always a bit of a vacuum created when there is a change in power for any of the families. She had dealt with this as well when she was forced into the role of don.

“So I have some news,” Alex broke through her reverie. “Nia has finally reported in with some information. It’s less than I would have liked but more than we had.”

Supergirl ruffled a hand through the mop of short blonde hair trying to dispel some more water, “Oh, boy, this already sounds promising. Just hit me with it,” she said, removing and pocketing the lolly stick.

“Well, apparently Lex has a sister.”

“How did we not know that there were more of them? How did something like this get past us all these years?” Supergirl released a heavy sigh and straightened her clothing.

“I don’t know. Maybe she’s the true gem of the family? A princess they didn’t want to be tainted by the cruel world they helped to create?”

“Okay, so there’s another Luthor. What other information do we have on the woman?”

“Nothing other than that she exists. Though it seems she would be the most likely person to take over. The only other bit of information Nia got was that whoever is taking over goes by The Adjudicator.”

“So, are we postulating that they are one and the same then? This Luthor woman is The Adjudicator? “

“That’s our working theory right now. However, it’s really just a guess since we know next to nothing beyond those few facts.”

“Great,” Supergirl said, not even trying to hide the sarcasm from her tone.

Alex shifted uncomfortably, “There is one more thing.”

Supergirl just turned and looked at her expectantly, her patience wearing thin. “Just spit it out, Alex. It’s been a long day and I haven’t the patience for this…” she gestured wildly with her hand, “dance around the truth that we are doing.”

“Our guys caught one of Luthor’s errand boys wandering across the border into our territory today. Seems he was a messenger from this Adjudicator, and they expect you for lunch tomorrow to go over terms and operations, and the like.”

“So, I get to meet the new boss of our strongest rivals in the city with next to no knowledge of what I’m walking into or who I’m meeting. How exciting. You know I was just thinking that things were getting too easy, too comfortable. I’m so glad that this will spice things up a little.” Her tone was dry and her annoyance was easily read.

“I know it’s not ideal but hey don’t shoot the messenger. I’ll push the details to your calendar after I get home tonight.”

“I know. It’s not your fault.” Supergirl rubbed a hand across her brow, there was a headache coming on. “I’m sorry, I’m just feeling a little worn down this evening. Everything will be fine. Maybe this new Luthor, if that’s indeed who the Adjucator is will prove to be more fun to play with than her successor, Lex.”

Alex reached out and placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “Listen, about earlier tonight… I mean, I’m always here if you need to talk. You know that right? You don’t have to hide with me. Are you okay? I’m worried about you.”

Supergirl wasn’t sure how to respond, the concern in her sister’s eyes would have made Kara break with one look, but she wasn’t that person anymore. Thankfully she was saved from needing to reply by a rap on the partition. Monnie signified that they had arrived at L.L. Beans.

Supergirl cleared her throat and gathered her things, she reached across Alex to grab the umbrella they had shared earlier. “I’m fine. I’m going to borrow this by the way. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Alex cut her gaze to Supergirl and opened her mouth to argue. Supergirl stopped her with a look and a dismissive wave of her hand. “I have changed, no more blood, and I have an umbrella now,” she said raising said object and shaking it. “I am going to resume what I had planned for my evening, get my hot cocoa, take a walk home, and then I will see you tomorrow for the meeting with the new leader of the Luthor’s get some rest. I’m fine and will be fine, I just need these few moments to myself. G’night sis,” she said leaning over and giving a quick peck on the cheek before exiting the car. Supergirl opened the umbrella and stepped back waving as the car pulled back out into traffic and away from the coffee shop.

She turned and quickly stepped into the alley beside the coffee shop. Running a hand through her hair once more before slipping on a ball cap and donning a pair of glasses she took a deep breath and tried to settle her nerves. Then she made her way into L.L. Beans.

Kara’s eyes immediately latched onto the brunette behind the counter. The woman hadn’t seen her yet as she had her back turned making an order for the customers in line. Kara slipped into line, doing her best to remain unseen by the owner until she reached the front.

The brunette was finishing up at the register from the last exchange as Kara approached the counter and leaned against it. “Welcome to L.L. Beans! How are you this evening?” The owner offered up in a mildly distracted tone.

Kara reached forward, fingers just barely brushing the woman’s ear as she pulled a lolly out from behind it. “Magical now that I’ve once again laid eyes on you.” Feeling bold, Kara tucked a strand of hair behind the woman’s ear and placed the lolly there before retracting her hand.

The woman turned, registering the voice of the woman before her, with a light blush dusting her cheeks. She giggled, light and airy, “Kara you are quite the smooth talker. You know you don’t have to bring me a treat every time you come in here for an order.” She removed the lolly from behind her ear, “Though I must admit, you always seem to bring in the best flavors.”

As those magnificent green eyes landed on Kara she felt the tingling that had started in her fingers where she brushed the woman’s ear begin to spread throughout her body. She shifted nervously and reached to adjust her glasses, “Only the best for the best, of course, Lena.” Clearing her throat she amended a light flush coloring her cheeks and the tips of her ears, “The best barista of the best coffee shop in National City, naturally.”

Lena’s eyes tracked the blush as it traveled up from the edges of the woman’s loosely buttoned oxford shirt, over the planes of her throat and strong jaw, her eyes catching momentarily on that adorably sweet smile before following it over those high cheekbones and to the tops of those ears barely visible beneath the clearly disheveled hair hidden beneath a ball cap.

Lena’s careful assessment had Kara squirming. Internally berating herself for not going home first to get properly cleaned up before coming here. Maybe, if she were smarter, or had a little more of that self-control that she exerted at every other moment of her life, she would have forgone coming here tonight altogether. This had become her ritual though, coming here after all of those hard nights playing a part inside of a part. It wasn’t logical and made absolutely zero sense, but something about being in this woman’s orbit felt safe, like home. What a way to feel about a woman she barely knew, but she couldn’t help that these interactions, their banter, was some small sliver of normalcy that was keeping her sane.

“You look wonderfully disheveled tonight. Handsome in a wildly unkempt way.” Her eyes lingered on Kara’s before glancing beyond to make sure there were no other customers at present. Then she was raising up on her tiptoes and reaching out, getting closer to Kara.

Kara swallowed audibly. A riot of feelings sent her heart skittering around in her chest. She couldn’t quite place the look she found in Lena’s eyes, mischief and something else. Again, she was mentally chastising herself that of course she didn’t know, couldn’t read this other woman, she didn’t really know her. But oh how she would love to.

Lena quickly removed Kara’s hat and donned it before spinning around to face the machines on the back wall. She felt heat racing up her neck and knew she was sporting a prominent blush. What had gotten into her? What had made her so bold? “I like that hat,” she threw over her shoulder by way of explanation for her shenanigans. “So, what would you like to have tonight?”

Kara stood there dumbfounded a moment before the words caught up to her. She knew what she’d like to have, but she shook those thoughts from herself to respond. “I’d love a nice hot cocoa tonight. Pretty wet out there and a powerful chill in the air.” She quickly ran her hands through her hair again to try and tame it a bit but knew it was no use, she knew there were likely strands of her short hair sticking out every which way.

Lena refrained from the crude comments she would have loved to make and simply gave a curt nod and said “One steaming hot cocoa coming right up!” They had been dancing around one another for months now. Kara was sweet and rather shy. Always so nervous and bumbling in the best way. Lena couldn't help but find her adorable. She would be lying if she said Kara wasn’t attractive, dangerously so. And so very contained. Seeing this rumpled, slightly wild look on the woman had ignited something new in her. The desire to see Kara unbridled, absolutely feral, in truth that was why she had taken the hat, to get as close to the loss of control as she could.

Kara cleared her throat, “So, it’s been a few days, how have you been?”

Lena glanced over her shoulder, “Business has been good, busy but good. I’m pretty content with things. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to take a leave of absence and leave things in the hands of my most trusted employee, Jess, for a little while so that I can take care of some family matters.”

“Oh? I hope it’s nothing too serious?”

“Problems they created for themselves, unfortunately. We’ve never exactly been close but now they need me to come in and clean up their mess. Sometimes I think I am the only one in the family with good business sense.” Lena chuckled as she turned with Kara’s order and a cupcake as a little added treat. “I put extra marshmallows in there for you.”

Kara smiled, “You didn’t have to do that but thank you so much.” She couldn’t help the disappointment that seeped into her tone as she asked, “How long do you think you might be gone for?”

Lena sighed, “It’s hard to tell. I’m not sure what kind of mess I will be walking into or how long it will take to sort things out.”

“Lena, I know we don’t know one another that well, but if there is anything I can do to help out, in any capacity, at any time, please don’t hesitate to let me know.”

This was when Lena finally took in all of Kara again and she was not disappointed. Kara’s hair was a wild mess in the most, dare she say, delicious way, this woman was very attractive and she decided that yes, she would very much like to see a very untamed version of this woman in a very different setting. She cleared her throat and tried to shake away the unsavory thoughts she was having for this woman, not for the first time.

“Thank you, Kara, that’s very sweet of you. Unfortunately, I’m afraid this is something that I will have to tackle alone.”

Something passed over Kara’s face then, was it pain, or some deep-seated understanding of what Lena was talking about? Kara was always like a breath of fresh air, her smile was like sunshine, but there was always this otherness, this aura of solitude or loneliness that would sometimes cling to her.

“I understand all too well,” Kara whispered. Then her eyes lit up again as they locked on Lena’s. “Either way, the offer stands. What do I owe you?”

Lena waved dismissively, “I’m keeping the hat, so let’s call it even.” She flashed a smile that had Kara’s knees feel as though they might buckle.

“Well, that seems like a fair trade to me,” Kara chuckled. “All of us regulars will miss seeing you around here, but I hope things go smoothly for you and your family. Until next time.”

Kara waved one last time as she opened the door and then ducked out into the rain, quickly unfurling her borrowed umbrella. She made her way down the street hot cocoa and cupcake balanced in one hand. What she didn’t notice was that Lena watched her with a longing look and a smile, until she was out of sight.

By the time Kara reached her building she had finished her hot cocoa and was preparing to throw the trash in the receptacle when she noted writing on the cup. In beautiful handwriting, Lena had scrawled her name and number with a smiley face. Kara’s smile was instant and she felt the rumblings of feelings she couldn’t afford to have, dangerous feelings. She’s Supergirl, after all, Kara only gets these small, impermanent moments. Even though she knew this, even though logically none of this made any sense, her heart was tripping all over itself.

If she isn’t careful, those green eyes that haunt her dreams might just become her kryptonite.

#fanart #supergirl #supercorp #supercorps #lena luthor #kara zorel #kara danvers #kara zor el #kara x lena #fanfic #lumity #catradora #shera #bubbline #korrasami

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