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#suspend disbelief
blondrichclosetwitch · a year ago
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Blue Tulip, and a life with okkervil river
Hey blond,
Hey.
Let’s talk.
Because I’m pretty sure Jakk is incoherent.
“Yes”
Funny, the first song was 40. Did you plan that? The 40 part? Because they seem to be saying that he was supposed to die on his 40th birthday.
Not dead yet, is that what you said?
So what drugs exactly have you been feeding him?
“Not going to tell you. “
Well let me tell you what I’ve been told about.
“I hate you. “
Yes Blond, I know you hate me. And I know you hate Jack.
“Yes.”
When I saw the centuries old sage in February 2019, I asked about Jakk and drugs. He said that he was doing a lot of ketamine and that he was not doing well. It was on your birthday actually that I texted him on instant messenger. You know that we used to talk and On IM a lot, And then all of a sudden he just stopped. By like 2015 complete stop.
So yeah, I saw the sage on your birthday and I texted Jack that I knew he was on drugs. The song that they were playing Was a suede song. I think it was daddy’s speeding.
It is a song that they played again and again, and that day that I called jaKK last week they played it. Right after I got off the phone.
I’m not going to come to your house.
“Yes you are. “
No blonde, I’m not. I know what I was told your plan was in 2017, and that’s not going to happen. I know that you’ve been doing Rituals to Jakk the same way it has been happening to me. He just didn’t realize it. That’s why he’s......well, altered. And in denial.
There was a lady who reached out to me. I called her nice lady. She cared about Jack and said that it was clear that I cared more than you do. I’m pretty sure she’s reading this. Nice Lady, I’m not sure what to say at this
Point. He’s in trouble.
I was just encouraged by the spirits to go outside and saying blue tulip by okkervil River.
“I know the song. ”
, Yeah, it really touched me when I saw that you listened to okkervil River. I thought it might mean we were more alike then it seemed.
The point is, Blond, that if anyone did a test of Jack’s bloodstream it would be very clear that he is not well. I heard it in his voice. Granted, I’ve heard Jack yell before but he has the aggressiveness of someone on a lot of drugs. A mix of different drugs.
Is that why they played river by versus a few days ago?
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I don’t know if you know this but I deeply loved River Phoenix, and I was destroyed when he died. He never meant to die. That’s the difference between River and Jack. Jack is super depressed, and that is obvious to anyone who has known him for a long time. He has lost his lust for life.
It’s funny, yesterday when I was in Brooklyn (you know, because I was too scared to stay in Yonkers since you sent another guy to the house in the middle of the night...locks changed now, thanks for motivating me to save my own life.) I printed off some pictures at Staples, and one of the pictures I printed for the first time was of Anthony Bourdain. When I did that, I heard “thank you”. His picture is now in the middle of the salt circle where I kept jakk’s.
You might say it’s symbolic.
I remember when Jack told me back in 2014 that you were doing cocaine, and that he was very concerned. Jack knew a lot about drugs; as you know he reads about everything and makes himself knowledgeable.
Little did I know that you would lead both of us into drug addictions. It makes sense though,… A drug that both you and the tarot reader we’re doing… Oh! And lest I forget… The salon master.
The salon master always had it on hand. Or somehow I ended up buying it and bringing it to his house. Interesting. Also interesting that I couldn’t even bear to take Adderall when it was prescribed to me in 2011, that I would be so into a drug that made me scared and paranoid, and unable to talk.
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Me, in session: I’m in a boat with drugs and ritual and voices.
Hot and Insanely Brilliant Analyst:
Make something of that boat. Or get a new boat.
*********
Today marks four months exactly since I flushed it down the toilet. Four. Funny how that number keeps coming up.
Your male best friend, the drug dealer, once told me that he thought Jack was afraid to leave you.
Yes.
I was told once that Jack was threatened with my life if he ever talk to me again. That you would have me killed. That’s what made me remember the comment he made on our anniversary in 2014 about your family being connected to the mafia. He said that if I ever wanted him to be killed off, I should tell your father that we got pregnant in 2012. When we had our (for lack of a better term) fight on the street in 2016 after I had spent the weekend with the salon master on fire island, I angrily said to Jack that he would pay. I was definitely thinking of your father when I made that comment. I wasn’t thinking that your father would have him killed, but I was thinking that it was time that people knew everything I had been holding inside.
I know more than anything that you resent how much Jakk and I love each other. Even if he is not saying it right now. I know you would do anything to destroy me. And that means destroying Jakk.
I want you to think very carefully about what the future
Holds
For you.
You need to let
Him go.
“No.”
*********
This is a song that I sang over and over again in my apartment.
They just had me sing it again. Outside amongst the trees.
I sent it to Jakk once.
“ They're waiting to hate you
So give them an excuse
(This is about me talking; they thought I never would.
So let’s make it good, shall we?)
They say that it changed you
(I don’t even know where to start with this line.)
I know that can’t be true
(All the
Things. Just....all the Things.
SUSPEND DISBELIEF.)
I came in the entrance the makeup girl went through (the woman who owns
The house is always in full make up, and keeps her front door unlocked. This is how they have been getting into the
House, and where the junkies blond hired to kill me make their entrance. I just got locks last night so at
Least the room I sleep
In has locks on both
Doors. Which brought my mom great relief.
I still apparently have to cover the windows.
)
And waited for ages, I waited there for you
( this is a reference to the times I went places I was told to wait for Jakk in 2017. Also a reference how I was told to leave my
Keys outside for Jakk
In 2016,
Not realizing they were
So blond could have copies of
My keys made. Many copies.
They’re giving me
The number 22. Which is funny, because My birth number is 1+3+1+9+7+1=22=4.
**Also A reference to how I was told day after day that one of you were coming to pick me up and rescue me for the last three weeks. How I had several nights that I did not sleep because I was waiting in front of a gas station or at a 7-Eleven to be picked up.)
Hats off to my distant hope(the new world)
I’m held back by a velvet rope(“There are two sides of the Velvet Rope. Those who want to be on the other side and those who are on the other side.”—Janet jackson)
And he’s behind the wall the smoke machine has made between us
(The smoke machine is the satanic rituals, which was accessed between romantic thought of each other, sex and drugs.)
And if he does exist, if camera clicking (the nanny cam in the painting & the
Other surveillance placed in the apartment. I was told in 2017 by psychic Jakk that he was on 16 different drugs, and that he wore a nanny cam around his neck. I’ll have to see if I can find that tape. I know I talked to my analyst and my best friend about it.
Jakk kept saying he couldn’t take off the camera. )
Green room guests swirl ‘round the man
(This is about the network of trees trying to protect him; jakk’s
Mother had an “earth sanctuary “ in michigan, and even since her death, has been working from the other side
To protect him. And apparently, part of the reason I was led
To the trees was because of her.
I
Just got that. )
whose real life can be touched
(“All Hope is not lost”)
Then I will do just that much
(This is about me trying to reach Jakk )
Hats off to my distant hope
A little lie, a puff of smoke
(Blond lying to him about what drugs she was giving him. I know he did coke, but what they have been showing
Me lately is heroin and angeldust. Both of which you can smoke. )
My street tonight's on fire with hope
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( a reference again
To the trees. When a tree was completely knocked down last February buy one of those mini cars, I had a session with the past life spiritualist who explained that that car tree took a hit for me. She then explained that all the trees were connected, and a little shook up, but that I had great healing in my hands. That’s when I started attempting to heal the trees. This was also where she explained the past life between me and Blond. She explained that blonde had cultivated a serious illness that would be showing itself in about a year, if she didn’t change what she was doing to me.
It’s funny, because the illness that was mentioned was something that I was feeling that I had for the last 6 to 8 months. It turns out I was just feeling Blond.
This should demonstrate the psychic connection between the two of us. And why it was necessary that I break it.)
You’ll be there, you’ll see us
(yesterday when walking on driggs Avenue I saw one of the man who broke into my house. Normally he looks me in the face. He has some mental struggle, I’m not sure what. But yesterday as we passed each other very closely, he wouldn’t look anywhere in my direction.)
I’ve got my ear against the screen
(All the surveillance in my laptop and more importantly my phone. If you wonder why I’m not calling you or cutting you off from communication, now you know why. I’ve tried to tell you many times. I know most of you did not believe me. And eventually, we will work through your doubt in me. But now is not the time.)
I’ll feel your feelings crackling
(psychic Jakk telling me things, feeling them in my body.)
For every single inch of me, I’m going to make you mean it
With every single cell of me, I’m going to make you mean the words you sigh
(These are the lyrics that I texted to Jakk with the song. ever since 2013 I kept talking about the need for us to have a conversation about the baby. Somehow he always ended up not coming. He never could talk about it. Once, in January 2013, he out of the blue said to me that what we went through was one of the most horrific experiences of his life. And then he said he wanted to go dancing. Which is funny, because we never went dancing. But he just couldn’t live with what we had done. Greatly because of him leading me to it. And that he was led to leading me to it.)
You lie
(Jack was never a liar in the beginning.
This lyric, though, is dedicated to blond Rich closet witch.)
Goodbye
Goodbye”
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starwroughtchild · a year ago
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10th of Tuesday, 6th Umbral Moon  7th Astral Era
My name is Corvus Starling.
I am thirty-four years old, male, seven foot three inches in height. My hair is long and black (as I will not romanticize it with terms such as ‘ravens wing’ or ‘obsidian’ in color) and my eyes are green. 
I am an Elf from the Kingdom of Voeburt, I died and was turned into a greenman by the Fae that inhabit the land now known as Il Mheg. Voeburt fell from overwhelming numbers of sin eaters and has not existed as a kingdom for the past one hundred or more years. 
The enchantment that kept me so transformed was lifted and gave me back my true, albeit very weak form ere being sent where I now live on the star Hydaelan on the continent known as Eorzea within the Black Shroud of Gridania. The fact fae magick can reach beyond worlds and stars and stretch into other existences is, in fact, -terrifying- and if they don’t feel the need to come get me the same way they sent me here I shall not complain.
I am well, however. The Doctor who has seen me, a one Arae’sae Elvo of the Mystal  race, has given me a clean bill of physical and emotional health as well as encouraged me to write down my thoughts, feelings, and observances as a method of coping with the new and altogether unfamiliar reality I am faced with.  Writing it all down it sounds rather ludicrous even if it is all fact, but it may help me be able to connect points I otherwise might miss without seeing them on paper.
So...
Where to start? 
several ink blotches can be seen on the parchment paper, as if though the tip of the quill was rested against it and ink was allowed to bleed out
I am a guest resident in the manor of one Varaelian Nilhandril who has graciously allowed me to remain here while I get a foothold in this world. He is cynical and sarcastic at times, but this eyes and his posture speak of a man who carries the weight of the world upon his shoulders and knows not how to shrug it off. Perhaps he does not even want to. Nevertheless he has volunteered to keep me housed, clothed, and fed for the time being and I am grateful.
My ‘cousin’ Silene is here more ink spots were tapped onto the surface 
Complicated.
I know he is named for the Moon and it fits his cold, distant, and unengaged demeanor that belies his real self. I fear he feels so strongly he has trained himself not to feel at all save for those few who have scaled over the battlements and castle walls he has built up inside. He is through looks and memories alone the closest thing I have to family, and though we are nearly physically identical we are opposite in all other aspects. 
There is a part of me that almost wishes I could break through his barriers, to try and find some way to make the man happy and cease his woes. Another part of me knows that I could try to climb those walls until it kills me the moment I slip up and fall.
No. I shall stay well away from that.
His partner, a Viis named Suna, is a suspicious man who likes and trusts me not.
Well, the feeling is mutual, Ser.
There are other names that come to the fore of my mind at times and I am trying to recall their faces, to understand the emotions that I feel when they arise:
-A golden Lady -A dark haired, pale skinned Drahn -A stern faced, gray haired man with amber eyes -An elf youth with an untrustworthy smile
Love. Hate. Yearning. Anger. Disgust. Shame. Above it all, sadness. When all I can recall are memories and feelings not my own it’s overwhelming. I am sure any recollections of my previous life in Voeburt may slowly come back to me as the days pass- who I was, what I did, who I lost.  
I wish I could remember 
I have started work at the Carpenters Guild in Gridania. A simple job shaving and sanding wood planks for the guild crafters and carpentry specialists but it keeps my mind and my body busy as I learn more about this new Star. 
Tomorrow evening I shall be visiting my ‘cousin’ again now that some days have passed since my first arrival. I have questions and he has the answers. However unwilling or hesitant he may be to give them is no deterrent- I deserve to know.
Buck up, man. At least you’re no longer a magical shrub anymore.
Yourself,
Corvus    
                                                       ~
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loveandknowledge · 2 years ago
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Fiction v Reality: Football
Blurring the line between fiction and reality can be done for many purposes, starting with 'having fun' and going all the way to 'survival'. You cannot play games or read novels unless you suspend disbelief at least for a little while. To really enjoy football, you have to accept the rules of the game, and forget for at least ninety minutes that they are merely human inventions. If you don't, you will think it utterly ridiculous for twenty-two people to go running after a ball. Football may begin with just having fun, but it can then become far more serious stuff, as any English hooligan or Argentinian nationalist will attest. Football can help formulate personal identities, it can cement large-scale communities, and it can even provide reasons for violence. Nations and religions are football clubs on steroids.
Humans have this remarkable ability to know and not to know at the same time. Or more correctly, they can know something when they really think about it, but most of the time they don't think about it, so they don't know it. If you really focus you realise that money is fiction. But usually you don't focus. If you are asked about it, you know that football is a human invention. But in the heat of the match, nobody asks you about it. If you devote the time and energy, you can discover that nations are elaborate yarns. But in the midst of a war you don't have the time and energy. If you demand the ultimate truth, you realise that the story of Adam and Eve is a myth. But how often do you demand the ultimate truth?
- '21 Lessons for the 21st Century' by Yuval Noah Harari
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avengersobsession · 10 months ago
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You know how in the movies people walk into a house, “Hey, I brought pizza/brownies/chinese/etc.,” and person in the house says, “I’ve already eaten”? And you’re like, “Okay, movies are so stupid, how does whether or not you’ve eaten make any difference when new food appears? I would unhinge my jaw like a snake and tear into that thing.”
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fricklefracklefloof · 3 months ago
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the admiral dispels his infinite wisdom
[image description: an eight-panel sketchy comic drawn with warm colors.
the first panel depicts jonathan sims and the admiral from the magnus archives lying on the floor talking to each other. jon says, "so i can speak other languages now, apparently. and i need to read statements or i'll get... sick. among other things."
the second panel is a closeup of jon's face. he continues, "i'm not even sure who i am anymore. it's funny, i was even wondering if i could use my powers to talk to you."
the third panel is a closeup of the admiral. the admiral's dialogue is written in text above his head instead of speech bubbles. he says, "well, yes, you can talk to me now."
the fourth panel is the same closeup of the admiral, but instead he looks like he's smiling and closing his eyes. he continues, "but i'm not sure how that is bad. because i love you."
in the fifth panel the admiral opens his eyes. "and georgie loves you, and i think that martin guy loves you, and i'm not really sure what you're all worried about but i know you give really good ear scritches."
the sixth panel is another closeup of jon's face. he stares shocked at the admiral as his dialogue continues, some of it unreadable, but it goes something like "could you scratch me behind the ears by the way because it's been a while and i haven't seen you in a while and... georgie doesn't do it..."
the camera zooms out a bit in the seventh panel to depict jon and part of the admiral. jon seems to be tearing up a little as the admiral jumps in surprise.
the eighth panel is a bird's eye view of jon and the admiral on the floor. jon reaches out to pet him as he says, "you sound exactly how i thought you would." end id]
yeah anyways. thinking about that headcanon about jon being able to talk to animals
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meeko-mar · 29 days ago
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Because I woke up and chose violence, apparently.
Post WHM, Post War Arc:::
Consider: Rody's heading home one seemingly uneventful night. He's done with his shift at the bar, and he's tired, but he's got a lot of studying still to do that night for his classes.
He's got a cup of coffee to keep him going, from the one place that serves coffee this late at night, and he's headed home through familiar streets. Even though he's exhausted, he feels good. Content. Like he's really moving forward.
But then something... horrible, catches his attention.
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"Deku..."
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tylerhunklin · a month ago
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i’m really still laughing at people saying “this show is only thriving on melodrama now” like?? now?? did you miss the TSUNAMI in LOS ANGELES??? or buck suing the entire lafd?? or shannon getting hit by a car and dying right in front of eddie?? this show has great characters and great heartfelt moments but at the core of it it IS melodrama where have you been
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hermitcraftheadcanons · 27 days ago
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If Grian had wings from a specific bird they wouldn't be parrot wings as fun as that is to think about. But no. Grian is a swallow. Small, agile, speedy, angular, a bit of a pest--he's a swallow!
False would be a red-tailed hawk bc she deserves it :) Also bc hawks are birds of prey but they dont have the leadership thing that eagles do. red-tailed bc they are the Biggest hawks
Gem would be a mourning dove because!! theyre soft and pretty and also one of the bigger types of songbirds out there even if they dont throw that around
Xisuma would be a vulture because big broad heavy thick feathers good for protecting people. Not an eagle tho bc I associate them with like. leadership and hermitcraft doesn't really have a strict leader; there's lots of people who can and have filled that role, in different situations
There aren't any seabirds or albatrosses on the server; for all that they're called the hermits, they tend to pick a spot and stay there. Maybe TFC???
Bdubs is a goose :)
Extremely valid and very entertaining! I was going to suggest Bdubs bluejay, because Yell, but a goose works perfectly too. Etho can be a crow, with its mysterious reputation but surprisingly social tendencies and equal measures of intelligence and goofyness. I'd also propose Impulse as a magpie, for his hoarding habits. I'd love to see more ideas if anyone else has them!
- Mod Shade
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the-deca · 2 months ago
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i think we should bring back classic doctors even if they look old, and you don't even need to cgi them. im very bad at guessing age so if you stuck peter davison in the fifth doctor's costume and a blonde wig for the 60th anniversary and said 'this man is 30' i'd say 'hm yeah no sounds about right'
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incorrectbuddie · 3 months ago
Eddie: *texting* Who decided an eggplant emoji isn't just an eggplant emoji? Why not use the banana or cucumber emoji instead?
Buck: What do you mean an eggplant emoji isn't just an eggplant emoji?
Eddie: Oh, babe... please tell me you're kidding.
Buck: Eds. What does an eggplant emoji mean?
Eddie: IT MEANS DICK, BABE 😂😂 why did you think I was sending my boyfriend so many eggplant emojis???
Buck: I thought you just really liked eggplant!
Eddie: ...is that why you've been making us so much parmigiana lately??
Buck: Maybe?
Eddie: Oh my god you're so dumb and so cute I love you 💞💞
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