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#swd satan
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The way Lucifer sees it;
Satan is responsible but not dependable
whereas,
Mammon is dependable but not responsible.
For example:
Lucifer can expect Satan to cook dinner for the whole family without burning down the kitchen but if he asks Satan to complete a discreet task for him on behalf of Diavolo, he'll check-in half an hour later and there'll be a rumour about Lucifer's sex scandal, spreading around the Devildom - specifically that he's cheating on Diavolo with one of the Little Ds
Meanwhile, Lucifer can expect Mammon to efficiently and effectively complete whatever important, official task he's given but Mammon's also nearly burnt down the kitchen thrice within the last week
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astairekin · 4 months ago
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clinginess/affection with the obey me boys
note from kin: this was originally meant to be a shorter piece but then it got real long whoops
also, quick clarification: generally if i do a piece where the characters are separated that means that that character is your only partner for each individual scenario (apart from luke of course he’s just your adopted little brother)
fandom: obey me!
character(s): gn! reader, lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor, diavolo, barbatos, simeon, luke, solomon
pairing(s): demon bros/reader, diavolo/reader, barbatos/reader, simeon/reader, luke & reader (platonic only for the angel bby), solomon/reader
warning(s): might take you a while to get through everyone but that’s all
genre: fluff
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lucifer:
generally lucifer’s all about the ‘strong independent demon who don’t need no lover’ facade, but don’t be fooled! he’s about a hundred feet deep into ‘unequivocally whipped’ status
he gives the impression that he’d know exactly what he wants and how to get it at all times but really he just stares at you until you get the hint and give him a kiss
(lucifer is good at a lot of things but romance just escapes him sometimes)
anyway truly clingy lucifer is pretty unpredictable but there is one consistent time when he really comes out, and that is when he’s tired
tired lucifer is usually on the more mellow side (if you want to ask him a favour, this is the best time to do it) because he is just too exhausted to get angry at things
tired lucifer is also just about the biggest affection bug in all three worlds because his guard’s down and he’s actually feeling his emotions instead of just generally registering and ignoring them, so he’s suddenly a lot more aware of how nice it feels to be with you
what does this mean? well, tired lucifer usually comes into play while he’s up late doing paperwork and stuff, so this is often how it goes:
1. lucifer becomes aware of his growing exhaustion and decides that he would really quite like to hold you right now
2. lucifer tries to concentrate on his work for about five more minutes
3. lucifer gives up on doing that and decides to go find you
these days you’re usually sleeping over in his bedroom so lucifer will just trot his way over and just kind of collapse on you
depending on whether you’re a heavy enough sleeper to sleep through that one of two things will happen:
if you wake up and ask him why he’s crushing you he’ll offer a quiet apology and give you a little kiss on the head and then pull away to actually get into bed properly
typically you’ll just cuddle up to him and go back to sleep but sometimes you’re awake enough at these moments to ask him if something’s wrong
at which point lucifer will either tell you he just wanted to be with you or start venting about how much stuff he has to do
meanwhile if you stay asleep he’ll probably just lay there for like half an hour thinking ‘i should probably get back to work’ and then not do that
you know that little speech lucifer gives in-game about demons not being able to resist temptation or whatever
yeah that’s him right here
he’s content and at ease and you’re like right there so there’s no way he isn’t just going to go to bed so he can hold you close now
apart from moments like these the clingiest lucifer usually gets is refusing to stop holding your hand (especially when you’re out) for any reason
like you’ll be going out grocery shopping together and he just will not let go at all. he’ll be using magic to pull the trolley and his other hand to pick up stuff and the hand holding yours just will. not. budge.
occasionally he’ll also get a little clingier if it’s been a hard or particularly frustrating day at work and when this happens not even being in the rad assembly hall right in front of diavolo will stop him from pulling his chair up so that it’s right next to yours and holding your hand under the table (he really likes doing that if you haven’t noticed)
when he thinks none of the others are paying attention he might even sneak in a couple of quick kisses on your fingers or the crown of your head
(the thing is at least one of the brothers is usually sitting on the opposite side of the table and it’s kind of hard not to notice this happening right in front of your face)
diavolo thinks it’s so cute so he doesn’t care and the brothers are low key too scared of lucifer to try teasing him
mammon:
alright so i know that clingy mammon is basically a universally accepted thing but i’d like to propose something a bit deeper
mammon is definitely one of the more affectionate brothers right off the bat, but for him to get truly clingy? that actually takes a good while
for mammon, actively seeking affection is an enormous display of vulnerability. like, you don’t even know how enormous
being the most panned brother in the family means that he’s used to being rejected for all sorts of things, to the point where receiving a ‘no’ when he asks for anything is pretty much expected from the beginning
you’re going to have to sit him down and have a proper conversation about Feelings before he can let that go, and even then it takes him a while after that to realise that you don’t mind if he just comes up behind you while you’re doing homework and drapes himself over your shoulders
but oh boy once he gets into it he gets INTO it
good luck sitting just about anywhere because mammon WILL find a way to cuddle up to you somehow
depending on how much room there is this can go many ways
will he throw himself down sideways and plant his head on your legs? will he settle next to you and pull you into his chest? will he just straight up drop himself in your lap and demand a hug? it’s a mystery
(do make sure to keep initiating affection yourself as well, by the way, because if mammon realises that he’s giving you a lot more affection that you’re giving him he’s going to get insecure again)
(by the way, if you ever do feel like he’s suffocating you a little, just tell him straight up. trying to talk subtly will only confuse him and make him think that he really is starting to put you off - just say clearly that you love him and that he’s still welcome to seek affection, you just need him to tone it down a little. mammon’s happy to do so to make sure you’re comfortable in your relationship!)
mammon is generally very proud that you’re his partner so his clinginess is only reduced by like 10% in public
the two of you’ll be walking around r.a.d. holding hands and he’ll be alternating between staring at you in awe, bumping you gently in the shoulder because the increased contact makes his heart do happy little cartwheels, and giving all the demons walking past smug looks
like ‘see this human next to me? aren’t they the loveliest being you’ve ever seen? don’t you wish you had someone like that? too bad, my human’s one of a kind. suck it, losers.’
he does refrain from too much pda (especially during class) but he also refuses to lose his back hug privilege just because there are other demons around
he does it at the beginning of class when you get in before him, he does it whenever he sees you walking ahead of him in the corridors, he does it to greet you at the end of the day before you start walking home together
running up and throwing his arms around you from behind is just one of his absolute favourite things to do
you know that trope in romance movies where person a hugs person b and like lifts them up and twirls them around? it’s mammon’s dream to one day do that with you
whether he’s the twirler or the twirlee he doesn’t mind, he just wants to do it at least once
allow me to warn you though: if you do let him do the picking up and twirling, he’s not going to stop doing it every time he sees you from now on
and, if you do the picking up and twirling, he isn’t going to stop asking you to do it every time he sees you from now on either
leviathan:
levi’s clinginess dips and peaks on a pretty regular basis
if he’s recently gotten into a new game, anime, or manga, he’ll pretty much not seek any affection at all (at first anyway)
he won’t reject you if you seek affection yourself but he also won’t really initiate it himself
generally these periods will last up to a week, after which levi will usually decide that he hasn’t had nearly enough hugs in recent memory and finally come to find you
even when he is at one of the peaks though he’s not anywhere near maximum neediness
a really needy and clingy levi usually happens when he’s either jealous or has had a sudden existential crisis and is in ‘if i don’t cuddle with them right now i WILL die’ mode
the jealous part is pretty standard - he sees asmo being a bit too touchy with you, you seem to be having more fun with mammon than usual, you’ve been texting solomon a whole lot for the last few days, etc.
of course he trusts you and knows you love him but 1. he gets incredibly insecure, and 2. avatar of envy, remember?
when it comes to this, levi’ll start out by spamming you with messages to come to his room, and if you don’t affirm that you’re coming within two minutes of him sending the texts, he’s getting up to find you
this happens a lot when you’re spending time with one of the other brothers, so what usually happens is levi’ll just barge in and plonk himself on you
for example, you might be in the library with satan, debating theories about what’ll happen in the next volume of the book series you’re both reading
levi will practically kick the door down in the middle of your conversation and make a bee-line for you, jumping up onto the couch beside you and wrapping his arms firmly around your waist
if satan tries to intervene, levi will hiss at him
on the other hand, existential crisis ‘i need touch NOW’ levi is a bit more complex
he comes out pretty rarely but when he does it is a doozy
missing his old home in the celestial realm, remembering the absolute bloodshed of the celestial war and how it had felt to fall and lose his angelic wings, detesting the demon he’s become, the whole shebang
he spends hours on end just lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling, wondering how the hell he got here, just generally feeling awful about both himself and the things he’s done
then that spirals into ‘how am i alive’ and ‘how does life even work’ and ‘where the fuck did father even get the idea for fingers’
and then he’ll suddenly spot something in his room that reminds him of you (whether it be a polaroid on the wall, the controller you were using last time you were over, or a character that looks vaguely like you on one of his posters) and suddenly decide that if he isn’t cuddling you in five minutes maximum, he is going to drop dead
he’s too desperate to waste time by texting you and waiting for a response, so he immediately jumps up and essentially goes on a rampage
it doesn’t matter how many of his brothers are around, it doesn’t matter even if diavolo himself is hanging around, nothing is stopping levi from wrapping you firmly in his arms as soon as he sees you and burying his face in the crook of your neck
on the occasion that you’re out of the house, he’ll either call you and plead for you to come back or sit at the bottom of the stairs in front of the door and wait for you to get back
post existential crisis levi is also often at least 10x clingier than usual for up to two weeks afterwards, so expect a lot more hand-holding, side-hugs and pulling you into his lap while he’s watching anime or playing games
satan:
you know that trope in ships where person a enjoys books and person b accosts them from behind while they’re reading? well here person a enjoys books and, while reading, accosts person b
satan’s caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to balancing his hunger for reading and his need for contact with you so things often end with him doing both at the same time
before he’d typically only ever read either in his room or in the library, but these days he just brings a particularly long book and follows you around, and sits down to read in whatever room you’re in
even if you’re in one of the other brothers’ rooms, he’ll invite himself along, sit wherever he finds comfortable, and go right back to his book
it’s like when cats follow you into every room you go into but don’t acknowledge your existence and settle down somewhere without even looking at you
except satan can’t do it for longer than an hour or two at a time because (even though he’s also ignoring you) he cannot bear not having your attention on him for so long when you’re like. right there
at which point, still determinedly pretending to be absorbed in his book, he’ll start inching closer to you
sometimes you don’t notice until he’s practically on top of you (for example when the two of you are on opposite ends of the sofa in mammon’s room and all he needs to do is shuffle sideways), but other times he’s just so painfully obvious about it (for example when you’re sitting around the dining room table and he starts like,,, hopping his chair over to you as if he thinks no one can see him????)
he’s not going to say anything, oh no no no, he’s just going to lean into your side and then carry on reading
here’s a trick though
wrap an arm around his shoulder, lean over and kiss him on the head, then ask him what he’s doing with a little fond smile on your face. he is putty in your hands in 0.0000000005 seconds
(as if he isn’t already putty in your hands 24/7)
he immediately loses all focus on his book, starts smiling like a lovestruck goof (which he is), attempts to disguise said smile, fails to disguise said smile, and finally just puts his book aside and goes full snuggle mode
it drives his brothers crazy because he does not read the room in the slightest when doing this. like, take that scenario i mentioned earlier where you’re in mammon’s room - satan does not give a single shit that mammon is right there and that’s his sofa
satan does like to do the holding (it makes him feel like he’s protecting you from the big bad outside and also seeing you all cuddled up to his chest makes his heart dissolve into a little puddle) but he is such an absolute sucker for being held
stroke his hair. do it. watch just how much he melts
if he was a cat he’d be purring himself into blissful oblivion
satan also often gets clingier if you’ve been spending a lot of time with lucifer recently
it’s not really a ‘showing lucifer that you’re his’ clingy, it’s more of a ‘he has a massive inferiority complex and needs more physical affection before he self implodes with the Bad Feeling’ kind of clingy
in this case satan absolutely needs to be the one being held because he needs that kind of reassurance
he most likely won’t tell you why he’s suddenly so desperate for cuddles now but you can usually pick up on the fact that he’s a bit down and therefore hold him accordingly
if you weren’t stroking his hair before you better do it now you absolute monster
in particularly vulnerable moments he’ll actually grab your wrist and plant your hand on his head himself because he really wants you to do it but feels embarrassed saying so out loud
asmodeus:
oh BOY
look there’s no way of putting this softly. asmo’s an attention whore
and he isn’t ashamed to say or demonstrate it either
linking arms with you wherever you go? absolutely. giving you a big kiss on the cheek whenever he sees you? routine. practically sitting in your lap wherever you’re sitting? always.
if he can see you and he isn’t touching you then there is a severe problem and he must fix it immediately
the other students at rad are split between being sick of seeing you and asmo walking around hand in hand with asmo physically looking like he has sparkly little hearts coming off of him or thinking it’s actually really cute
at one point the faculty at rad thought it would be funny to sit you on opposite sides of the classroom and asmo’s grades immediately dropped because he was just spending three quarters of each lesson staring wistfully at you and sighing so loudly every five minutes that he was annoying all the other students
in the end they put you back next to each other and asmo was over the moon
he just can’t maintain concentration on his work without being able to lean over and nuzzle his head against your shoulder on the regular
he’ll try not to annoy you too much though - if he sees that you want to concentrate on your work or the teacher he’ll refrain from being too clingy
i feel like asmo’s probably starved of innocent affectionate touch so he thrives off of doing things like brushing his nose against yours or linking his fingers with yours while the two of you are browsing a store
he also loves doing things like feeding you at dinner (and of course being fed by you at dinner) but his brothers (read: belphie, levi, mammon) set up such a fuss at how ‘gross’ it is that he doesn’t do it too often
he’s perfectly happy with the not so innocent kind of affectionate touch (he is the avatar of lust after all) but there’ something about cuddling in bed without it intensifying into something more rough that just hits different
he was already diligent about his sleep schedule but now he straight up looks forward to bedtime because it means no one can disturb cuddle time
asmo takes good care of his skin so before he always made sure to sleep lying flat on his back without his face touching the pillowcase so that any product on it doesn’t get wiped off
but - and this is a huge thing - to asmo, cuddling with you goes above his skin in terms of importance
he starts using less stay-on products at night and starts investing in stuff that absorbs nice and quick so that he can smush his face into your shoulder without worrying about getting his face oil on it
asmo also used to be pretty good about getting up on time but now that’s kind of gone
you: “asmo come on we need to get up”
asmo, sleepily pulling you even closer: “cuddle good”
you: “yes cuddle good but we have school”
asmo: “school evil. cuddle good”
lucifer is often frustrated but asmo seems so happy that he can’t bring himself to tell him off
while asmo would be glad to be drowning you in affection at all times, he’s also very aware of the need to be mindful of boundaries and stuff in relationships
he’s good at reading your mood, so if he senses that you’d probably get a little irritated (though you wouldn’t say so, bless you) if he decided to enthusiastically greet you with an ambush hug from the side as usual, he’ll just calmly walk up and take your hand instead
also if you feel like he’s being too much just let him know! he won’t be hurt at all, he’s conscious that his general lack of holding back when it comes to physical affection isn’t for everyone
he’s also perfectly happy to save all the affection for when the two of you are alone if you don’t like pda
beelzebub:
beel’s probably the least (consistently) clingy out of the brothers
he’s very much got a one-track mind so if he needs to concentrate on something like homework or finding snacks or working out then the likelihood is that cuddling won’t even cross his mind
in addition to that he’s also usually content just to be near and watch you
belphie’s got an entire album of photos of beel gazing off at something in the distance with an expression of absolute adoration and in each of those photos he was staring at you
no matter how mundane what you’re doing may be, he’s captivated
apart from that his persistent hunger means that whenever he doesn’t need to focus on something else, his one-track mind is generally constantly thinking about how hungry he is, so even then he doesn’t have the room in his mind to get clingy
however, when he does realise that he wants some affection, he becomes absolutely desperate for it, and this is the only time he really gets clingy
it usually starts out as a niggling little thought at the back of his mind while he’s in the middle of something else
he’s vaguely aware that something’s up but he’s too busy concentrating on that other thing to really think about it
it’s like a little hole is opening up inside him and generally when he feels that, he’s hungry, so beel will automatically go eat
but then as he’s sitting there eating he’ll kind of think ‘this isn’t filling up that hole at all’
he’ll take a couple more bites, thinking hard (he might miss his mouth a few times since he’s so deep in thought) and then come to an epiphany
the hole wasn’t a need for food… it was a need for affection
at first he’s just kind of like ‘ah that makes sense’ and carries on eating, just thinking that he’ll give you a hug or something next time he sees you
but then he can’t stop thinking about that need for affection
beel isn’t great at taking the initiative when it comes to affection (mostly because he doesn’t really know how) so instead of actually seeking you out he’s more likely to just sit there and stew in his own want for affection
generally the other brothers will just leave him alone because he’s giving off a real scary aura and it often gives the impression that he’s mad about something, and an angry beel is even scarier than an angry lucifer
the exception is (of course) belphie
it took him a while to figure it out but eventually he realised that when beel gets like this the only solution is to get you
so that’s what he does
beel will be sat grumpily in the corner of the living room, biscuits abandoned beside him, and he’ll hear the door open
at first he doesn’t bother turning around because he’s still sulking about how much he wants some affection
if you don’t immediately realise what’s going on belphie will give you a silent little nudge and then pad off to leave you with your lovely boy
you may be inclined to call out to him, but here’s a much better way to greet him: creep up and hug him from behind
he lets out the tiniest little gasp, stiffening for a moment as he processes what’s going on, then turns to look at you and just lights up like a christmas tree
i hope your schedule is clear because once beel’s got his arms around you, you probably aren’t going to going anywhere anytime soon
but it’s okay because he’s very warm and comfy and he keeps kissing you on the head and it’s like the sweetest thing ever
if you do absolutely need to get up to do something he’ll follow you like a lost duckling until you’re free to cuddle again because once beel gets like this it takes a while for him to stop being clingy
belphegor:
similarly to levi, belphie’s clinginess fluctuates a lot between ‘i will hold your hand but that’s it’ and ‘if you don’t hug me right now i will Scream’
sometimes he’s fine with just napping in the same room as you without particularly caring about being super close to you and other times he can’t sleep unless he’s latched around your goddamn neck
he switches between the two states of clinginess really quickly and there’s no in between either - it’s one or the other
you know that thing cats do where one minute they’re cuddled up on your lap and purring as you stroke them and then the next minute they’re grabbing your hand and trying to murder you? belphie does this on the regular
he doesn’t start biting you but he does go from being all snuggled against you wrapped in a blanket to being curled up on the other side of the sofa and shooting you a very reproachful look if you disturb him by making too much noise or moving too much
the switching goes both ways so other times he’ll seem perfectly happy snoozing on your bed while you get some work done at your desk and then he’ll suddenly be draping himself on you and whining for you to come nap with him because he’s so lonely without you and surely you must be done with that stuff now, so come and cuddle right now or he’s going to cry
however, if you do the right (or wrong thing) you can actually get belphie to switch between the two states of clinginess yourself
if for some reason you want him to go from ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ to ‘do not touch me???’, just tickle him. he’ll give you a disgruntled look and immediately move away (though if he was being particularly cuddly before it won’t be long before he’s coming to snuggle again)
on the other hand if you want him to go from ‘do not touch me???’ to ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ then all you need to do is give him a relatively short hug and a kiss on the forehead, then pull away
no matter how firmly he was in ‘do not touch me???’ mode before, doing this immediately makes him go ‘not allowed to stop now, give me more love >:((((‘
he doesn’t really care that you’re doing this on purpose because to be honest he doesn’t notice that it’s a deliberate thing, even if you do it like five times in a row
he’s just focusing on the ‘hug and kiss feel good. want MORE’ bit
by the way if you do deliberately get him into clingy mode, you aren’t going to be able to switch him back to not-clingy mode for at least an hour because he’ll just bat your hand away if you try to keep tickling him and refuse to budge
to be honest though you don’t really need to do this too often because ‘do not touch me???’ belphie never lasts more than twelve hours before becoming ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ belphie, and most of the time it takes much less time than that, plus ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ belphie tends to stick around a lot longer
is he’s on a schedule??? because it’s such a regular thing??
take how his clinginess levels change throughout the night for example:
like at the beginning of the night when you’re both getting into bed he’ll be facing away from you, seeming perfectly content with just snuggling into his cow pillow (though he will hold your hand under the covers if you want)
and then nearly exactly four hours into sleeping he’ll suddenly roll over and latch himself around your neck and just will not budge for the rest of the right
but then about five minutes before he wakes up he’ll let go and roll to the other side of the bed again
and then about half an hour after initially waking up he’ll roll back over and start clinging to you again and go back to sleep
is it like a body clock?? does belphie have a clinginess clock???????
diavolo:
the sheer touch starvation of this poor demon… it’s enough to make any grown man cry
his father was the big scary king of the devildom and diavolo was only ever raised to be a good ruler without much father-son bonding, and he also had basically no close friends (apart from barbatos but he wasn’t exactly the cuddly type)
it’s kind of heart breaking how little affection he’s had throughout his life to be honest
and diavolo thrives off of affection and praise (a bit like a golden retriever) which makes it even SADDER because he’s had so little
so now that he has you he is just on cloud nine
just like. permanently. he’s started whistling cheerfully to himself whenever he walks places and honestly it wouldn’t be surprising if he started breaking out in musical numbers
and he brings you with him EVERYWHERE
as the pseudo-ruler of the devildom (his dad’s technically still the official king but he’s asleep so diavolo’s the one making all the kingly decisions) he has to preside over the trials of a couple particularly offensive demons
the defendant will walk in and he’ll be sitting there on his custom throne in this sweeping red and black robe and you’re sitting beside him in an equally ornate throne and wearing a equally fancy robe
(side note diavolo loves seeing you on that throne because it gives you this really powerful regal air and it suits you so well and he just. he simps so hard)
the two of you look like the evil royal couple from some fairytale and it’s incredibly intimidating
but then the judge will start reading the charges and the lawyers (do they have lawyers in the devildom) will be cross examining or whatever it is lawyers do, which means no one’s paying too much attention to what diavolo’s doing
of course he does need to listen to what’s being said but at the same time he’s not the one making the final verdict - he’s only really here to watch the trial
so…
linking hands with you and leaning over and nestling his head against yours it is :D
it kind of ruins the whole intimidating effect when the defendant looks over and you and the demon lord are just canoodling like newlyweds
apart from moments like these diavolo is also practically always touching you. like it’s to the point where it’s almost excessive
it’s basically reflex for him to reach for your hand as soon as he sits beside you or to link arms with you when you’re walking together
he’ll start hugging you and he just??? won’t stop???
like he’ll catch you walking past his room in his castle and come up to give you a hug from behind and then like five minutes later barbatos will see you shuffling about the corridors with diavolo still hanging from your shoulders as if he’s trying to get a piggy back ride
barbatos is torn between loving you for how happy you make the young prince and hating you because diavolo never gets any of his work when you’re around
like at one point he tries motivating diavolo by inviting you over to the castle and telling diavolo that he can go be with you as soon as he finishes his paperwork
but all that happens is diavolo will read exactly two sentences and then immediately declare that he can’t concentrate on work when you’re so close by
at this point barbatos practically begs you to stay away from the castle just for another hour or two because if diavolo doesn’t read through these papers thoroughly he’s going to end up accidentally agreeing to fund a giant bat statue again
does diavolo care about any pda affecting his image? not really
you’re far more important to him than any kind of reputation he might need to upkeep and to be honest if he can’t hug you just because some hoity-toity noble is watching, then what’s the point?????
if it bothers you though he’s happy to tone it down :D
barbatos:
i feel like barbatos is the only one on this list that you can’t really describe as being clingy at all
not necessarily because he doesn’t like affection - the thing is that he’s always so busy that he doesn’t really any choice
even if he does feel the need for affection he just can’t act on it because he has things to arrange and places to clean and paperwork to sort
to be honest he was cautious of committing to a relationship with you in the first place because even though he loved you to pieces he knew he wasn’t going to be able to consistently provide you with the affection you deserved
you’re also going to have to be incredibly patient with him because even when barbatos does have time for affection he’s super awkward about it at first
he’s only ever really known how to treat people from the whole butler state of mind
which just be polite and courteous, keep them happy, do as you’re told and keep your distance
aside from that he was already a little touch averse in the first place and he just doesn’t find it easy to be physically affectionate
he tries to make up for it with verbal affection and a whole host of endearing nicknames but he’s fully aware that a relationship can’t really survive on words alone
so he also tries to do little things like giving you a flower every day or leaving you little gifts and notes
and you seem happy with that which makes him happy but soon enough barbatos starts to realise that he actually wants physical affection as well
he starts small, with cheek kisses and loose hand-holding, making sure that both of you are comfortable, and soon enough you can just run and jump at him and he’ll catch you and start peppering you with tiny kisses
it’s pretty blissful but the thing is that he still doesn’t get a chance to do these things enough
i guess the best way to say it is that barbatos is kind of clingy mentally (like he’ll be thinking about wanting affection on the regular) but can’t really let that through physically
luckily for him, diavolo’s a nice boss and decides that if barbatos doesn’t start taking breaks so that he can actually be with you, he’s going to force him to
barbatos before this has basically never taken a single break in his entire life and diavolo decides that that has to change
so now barbatos gets evenings off to do as he likes
it means that the little ds of the castle have to pick up some of the work barbatos usually does but they all respect the butler a lot and they’re glad that he’s happy with you so they’re willing to help
what does barbatos do with this free time?
spend it with you of course (was there ever going to be another answer)
he’s still not super clingy because that’s just not how barbatos is but he does consistently seek and give affection during this time off
the two of you’ll be baking something together and he’ll keep leaning over to kiss your nose while you’re decorating
barbatos is definitely happy to bake with you if you’re already good with that kind of thing but he’s also just over the moon if you’ve never baked anything in your life because it makes him feel all warm when he gets to teach you
and when you’re under barbatos’s instructions, it’s basically impossible to make something bad
the others they all agree that barbatos’s baking always tastes better when he does it with you
barbatos also very much likes to do that thing where person a has some flour or something on their face and person b reaches to wipe it off but their touch is way more tender than necessary and also their hand stays there for way too long
you’re not complaining though
(occasionally barbatos will deliberately flick a little flour at your cheek when you’re not paying attention so that he can do this)
simeon:
some of you are probably going to disagree with this but simeon’s an angel so i doubt he’s super physical with his affection
honestly he probably doesn’t even kiss you that often—
HA JUST KIDDING
simeon LOVES physical affection
kisses? he adores them, can’t get enough. holding hands? he never wants to let go. brushing noses? it makes his heart do backflips. hugs? get over here right now
that being said he only really gets ‘clingy’ when he sees you
simeon often doesn’t realise how much he likes your touch until he sees you. it’s like if he can’t see you, he just forgets that giving affection to and receiving affection from you is a thing that can happen
object permanence isn’t one of simeon’s strong points i'm afraid
like if he’s at purgatory hall and you’re over in the house of lamentation he isn’t going to be sulking in his room because he wants cuddles
but if you then come knocking at the door he’s all over you immediately
arm linked with yours as soon as you’re over the threshold to guide you to the living room even though you’re fully aware of where it is, sitting down flush beside you and basically draping his cloak around your shoulders so that he can actually feel you against him rather than feeling you through the fabric, holding one of your hands in both of his and just running his fingers up and down your palm
his absolute favourite thing is the aforementioned brushing noses thing
he first saw it on some cliche romance show solomon was watching and he basically had stars in his eyes
he immediately sent you a very excited and typo-ridden text about it, followed by another text asking if the two of you could try it
it didn’t really work the first time because simeon got overexcited and just bonked his head right into yours
he got the hang out of it eventually though and now he greets you like that every time he sees you
it doesn’t matter how many times he does it, it never fails to make him feel all fluttery and warm inside
if he ever seems down this is a sure fire way to get him to cheer up
it’s great when he’s the one initiating, but when you do it? he hits a whole other level of serotonin
doesn’t matter how blue his mood is, he’ll immediately start giggling, especially if you plant a little kiss on his nose right after
there is one type of affection that kind of scares simeon at first though
so angels are all about the seven heavenly virtues and one of those is chastity
simeon’s shameless when it comes to affection like hugging you from behind or linking hands with you under a table but sharing a bed with you is a different story entirely
you’re not even doing anything you’re literally just lying under the same covers, several inches away from him might i add, and he’s still basically evaporating
it takes him a good three days or so to be able to relax and then another whole week to be able to actually cuddle with you in bed without exploding
and you’ve still got to take it slow from there because even just wrapping your legs around his immediately makes him short circuit
and even once he’s used to that as well, whispering to him in a tone that even only slightly indicates flirtation is enough to fluster him into next week
actually doing that even when you’re just out and about still gets him all in a tizzy
at first asmo thought you must be saying some truly sinful things whenever you leaned over and whispered something to simeon and he’d immediately bury his face in his hands and practically start steaming
then one time he was close enough to actually hear what you were saying and it literally just ‘you’re really cute, you know that?’
weak, simeon. weak.
try not to tease him too much, his heart might not be able to take it
luke:
luke basically follows you around everywhere like a shadow
to be honest simeon kind of feels a little betrayed because before luke always stuck firmly by his side but these days as soon as he sees you he starts making a bee line for you instead
you’ll take three steps into r.a.d. and before you’ve even taken another breath luke is hurrying up to you with a big smile on his face
he’ll be walking at two times his comfortable walking pace to make sure he can keep up with you and eagerly nodding along to everything you say
he’s like this little kid who just thinks you’re so so so cool and that you physically can do no wrong
and normally luke doesn’t like being treated like a child but when you do it, it feels more like an endearment thing than an patronising thing, so he doesn’t mind
if you ruffle his hair he gets so happy
up in the human world you hold his hand to cross roads and he’s just like !!!!!!
he feels so safe and happy with you awwwww
he also likes to study with you because you’re good at motivating him, and whenever he gets a good grade on a test or essay he’ll immediately run to find you and show you (or call you if you’re not in the school building)
(tell him you’re proud of him right NOW)
of course he can’t be following you about at all times (that’s just impossible) but he seems to always be there when it counts, especially when you’re having a moment with one of the demons
for example you might be walking around in the r.a.d. gardens after school with asmo
as soon as asmo starts getting close to you, guess who’s running up to you with his arms in the air, greeting you a bit too enthusiastically? that’s right it’s luke
if your partner is barbatos he’ll be a bit more mellow about it since he likes him
but if it’s lucifer, mammon, or diavolo in particular, he gets even more vigilant
even if you’re not with one of the demons (i.e. with solomon or simeon) he’s still barging in whenever the two of you start getting too close for his taste
honestly he acts like a little brother who really doesn’t like who his sibling’s dating (or just doesn’t like the fact that his sibling is dating at all in solomon, simeon and barbatos’ case)
do you mind? not really
it does get a little irritating sometimes but you know luke means the best
just sit him down and talk to him about it and he’ll (though a little begrudgingly) agree to let you have your moments with whoever your beau is
that being said that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop glaring at any of the random students r.a.d. who looks at you for a bit too long
he’s okay with the brothers and diavolo and barbatos but he still doesn’t really trust the demons as a whole so he’s always on his guard because his parental/big sibling figure is NOT getting hurt on his watch
you’re also the first person he thinks of whenever he’s baked something
solomon often texts you to let you know if luke’s baking something in the purgatory hall kitchen because within a couple of hours (it depends on what he’s baking) he’ll be on your doorstep with a healthy portion of whatever it was he made in a pretty little box
(as an aside solomon ALWAYS lets you know this by sending a picture of luke hard at work, which is innocent in and of itself, but he always captions it ‘luke’s baked’ for some fucking reason and you keep getting mini heart attacks because is he implying that luke’s doing weed???)
anyway luke always starts packaging some of his baking up for you as soon as he’s done and simeon and solomon are just like ‘what are we, chopped liver???’
he does still like his house mates of course but it’s just,,,, you’re special okay
solomon:
solomon’s definitely clingy, but he’s, like, subtle about it
instead of constantly needing to be holding your hand, he’ll constantly have his pinky linked with yours
instead of constantly demanding kisses, he’ll just nudge his cheek against yours every now and then
instead of sitting right next to you so that you’re basically smushed up against each other, he’ll make sure to keep the side of one of his legs softly brushing against yours
it’s partially because solomon himself doesn’t really feel comfortable with heavy physical affection and partially because he’s always hated it when couples are super into pda and he doesn’t want to be a hypocrite
despite both these things he’s still incredibly in love with you though so he does still like to be near you whenever possible
he likes to have you in the room whenever he’s trying out a new spell or mixing up a potion or something because he can just sashay over and get a little kiss on the cheek or the nose and that’s enough to motivate him for at least another hour
solomon’s also got this constant kind of feeling that he needs to protect you while you’re in the devildom because you’re the only two humans surrounded by deadly demons at all times
he’s aware that you can protect yourself (especially once he starts teaching you spells) but he can’t help it
this means that while the two of you are in public he’s actually more likely to do something like put his arm around you
apart from that his clinginess mostly comes through in little things (as i mentioned earlier), but those little things are basically happening indefinitely
like at any given moment you and solomon are together, take a moment to observe. he is 99.99999% likely to be touching you in some way or another
it can be the tiniest thing placing his hand on the table beside yours and letting his pinky touch yours, but it is most definitely happening
all this being said solomon does still like to do the bigger things, he just prefers to do them more sparingly and when no one else is around
he’s been around for so long without anyone who truly loves him and stays by his side like you do and he wants those special moments to be for the two of you only
he’s actually really playful with his affection behind closed doors - like you’ll be all snuggled together in bed and he’ll suddenly blow right into your ear and start laughing hysterically when you start
return the favour when he least expects it and he won’t be laughing anymore
(secretly he is laughing on the inside because you’re just so cute but he’s pretending to be startled on the outside so that you don’t get all sulky)
solomon’s statistically more likely to become clingier/more elaborate with his physical affection as the relationship goes on
like he evolves from greeting you by smiling and reaching over to brush his fingers gently against your cheek to greeting you with these really big bear hugs (not all the time - it usually happens whenever he hasn’t seen you for maybe a day or two - but he definitely does it pretty regularly)
he also starts doing this thing where he’ll sneak up on you while you’re sitting in like the living room or something and fling his giant jacket-cloak over you, and then he’ll settle down next to you so that you’re both all snuggled up underneath it
he does this once and then he can’t stop doing it because underneath the jacket you’re so close and it’s so warm and he just. he adores
to simeon and luke watching from the outside however it looks incredibly strange
(by the way i’m still so angry about it being a jacket like WHY did it have to be a jacket? it was fine as a cloak?? also WHY did it have to fade into white the black into blue was perfectly gorgeous on its own)
(ALSO, what is going on with those half white half black shoes???? solomon really out here rocking with the cruella de vil converse)
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hey-its-spades · 4 months ago
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Satan : "Hey you know that thing where you know your in trouble when your parent yells your full name?"
Simeon:"Yeah?"
Satan :"Yeah well apparently that works on Lucifer too"
Simeon: * wide eyed in disbelief *Wha-
Satan :* grinning widely* "I don't know what he did but mc ran downstairs at breakfast times and yelled" LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" And he booked it out the door without finishing his breakfast "
Simeon:* still in disbelief * " well I suppose that makes sense as to why I've seen his looking over his shoulder all day-"
Satan:" yeah I haven't seen either of them for hours but judging by the sounds of carnage I heard 6 hall's down they might be there."
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saeyoungchoismaid · 2 months ago
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@requiem-for-the-left-hand on twt bUT PLS SOMEONE DO IT I BEG
Edit: it has been done 🤧
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ashestospace-fics · 9 months ago
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The brothers main type of Kink
Characters from Obey me
Part 2: The "Undatetables kinks"
Reader: GN
Masterlist
Tags??: Degrading, power kink, praise kink, pet play, food play, Somnophilia, edging and overstimulating
NSFW
Lucifer
This man has an obvious power Kink, the idea of him being in complete control over your body just drives him feral at times just thinking about it.
Especially when he knows how good he's making you feel, every little shake of your legs, every unconscious thrust of your hips, how loud and a mess your voice becomes when you beg him to slow down when you can't take anymore.
He'll make you cum dry with his fingers alone if he feels like it, as he towers over you from the side of the bed, watching you a sweaty mess and whimpering his name as he smiles at your exhausted figure.
Mammon
Praise kink for sure, tell him he's a good boy and he's putty in your hands. It doesn't matter if it's a simple compliment while you two chill or when you're blowing his back. Mammon will melt in the spot.
Similar if you mix teasing with the praises, he's a whining mess. He gets so desperate because your spilling sweet nothing into his ears, but your hands are just so slow into touching where he wants.
But oh no, he won't tell you to hurry up. He's being such a good boy for you he doesn't want you to stop praising him for how great he's doing.
Levi
Degrading kink, wow do you get a kicker out of this one when you found out he was turned on by you insulting him. Levi just becomes a mess whenever you start taunting him.
Face blew red as he tried to cover his face and erection by the simplest little taunt. Whispering in his ear how he's "a gross Otaku that gets turn on by insults like this?"
He'll try denying your words in stutters, but he falls quiet with a whimper of your name when you pull in closer to hold the back of his jacket. "Really then what's this then?" You always make it worse when you grab the tent in his pants. Not being shy at all to give it a squeeze and laugh at him when he moans. "Gross, you're really turned on by this? You really don't have shame"
Satan
Obvious pet/master kink, like....come on. You don't even know how you ended up with the collar or the ears but it's too late now. Once your Satan's pet there's no going back.
A weird mix of degrading and praises depending on his mood. Loves pulling you around by a leash or collar. The adoring look when your all dress up or waiting for him to give you an order just leaves him smirking.
"Such a good Kitty for your Master, look at how well you take me, come on take your milk" he'll have a tight grip on the leash as he pulls your face closer, taking him almost you whole down your throat as he thrust into you. Always be grateful for every meal he gives, cause it's always by loads.
Amos
Okay, listen, he's pretty much into anything but he just loves overstimulating and edging you. There's no in-between as long as you keep saying his name all night long. But he won't overdo it, he likes to pamper you and kiss you all over while doing it, which is a big contrast with what he's doing with your body.
Also loves using toys to edge you, it makes it all the more fun while he asks you how it feels, knowing very well you can't really answer while your moaning or groaning your head off while he presses the wand against you.
It always stirs him when you start begging when he's edging you. Always keeping an innocent smile on his face as he denies to tip over the edge for hours. Not being able to move as he sits on top of you. Always making sure you're looking at him and only him at all times.
Beel
Food play, poor man discover this by accident and it just went skyrocketing after it. He feels embarrassed each time, but his hunger for you always kinda push away the guilt of the mess he's making of your body.
It might have started when he accidentally spilled some chocolate syrup on you while trying to make sweets for the night, being the hungry boy he is and not thinking much of it. He started licking it off you with no thought of the outcomes.
Seeing the accidental reaction of your body shaking as his lips detach to leave marks on your chest had awoken something in him that just made him more hungry. Now every time he would accidentally spill something on you and clean it off just to get a taste of you. Mixing two of his favorite things together is practically the best thing for him to discover. Now you keep in mind to have a bottle of honey laying under your bed when he comes for movie nights.
Belphie
Somnophilia, Crist all mighty he never thought of the idea of slowly fucking into you while you sleep would drive him insane just by the mere thought. It wasn't like he knew he was into it until you two started taking naps together, and it was like a light bulb just turn on in his head.
He refused to be a little spoon most of the time, so he never thought it would cause anything when you two are sleeping. That is until you kept shifting around, back press against him, ass grinding against his crouch woke him up in a haze at the sudden friction. His breath becoming heavy as he looks down at your body moving. He knew you were still asleep but his mind just started to wonder as he didn't stop his hips from moving against you.
The first few times he came in his pants as he came against you, himself still sleepy and lazy to go further until he became hyper aware of how good it felt and how he could just fuck you awake and blame you for moving so much. Might start waking you up slowly by thrusting himself into you before school starts.
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kitaminx · 6 months ago
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Might still tweak some things bc I'm still learning how to color but we'll call that done for now uwu
I tried the underneath light colored hair thing but I'm not sure it works with this kind of render 😅
One day I will learn to properly shade for now am shadow idiot
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spencerkeg · 5 months ago
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I’ve never shared it but my mc has 2 designs. Normal mode and deadline mode.... this is the latter.
I’ve been thinking about the boys’ weaknesses and I may be drawing something for that 👀 AHEM. but here’s a sneak peak of what I hc to be Satan’s weakness!! 💚💚💚
Idk why but I feel like Satan loves getting to see people let down their guard around him, it warms his heart to see people transparent and honest with who they are. And sometimes that person is a messy gremlin. AND HE FINDS IT ENDEARING IM SORRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES!!
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astairekin · 4 months ago
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kabedonning with the boys
note from kin: i’m going to be trying to include luke platonically when i do these group headcanons, so his section is about him saving you from being kabedonned by two of the others rather than doing any actual kabedonning - since i couldn’t figure out a way to fit him into a kabedon scenario without accidentally making it seem romantic in some way
the dateable characters have two sections - 1. doing the kabedonning and 2. being kabedonned. luke also has two sections, but for him it’s 1. what he does when simeon kabedons you, and 2. what he does when lucifer kabedons you, relating back to those two respective characters’ sections
i make a few references to the clinginess piece here and there but i don’t think you have to have read that one to understand them
fandom: obey me!
character(s): gn! reader, lucifer, mammon, levi, satan, asmo, beel, belphie, diavolo, barbatos, simeon, luke, solomon
pairing(s): demon bros/reader, side-dateables/reader, luke & reader
warning(s): uhhhh i make a jojo reference if that counts (also this is another big one, heads up)
genre: fluff
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lucifer:
kabedonning—
lucifer does kind of half-kabedon you on the daily but they don’t really count - they’re just him sidling in front of you to block off the outside world a little so that no one tries to interrupt a moment or a conversation
actual full on, aggressive hand-slam kabedons are actually quite few and far between
he typically doesn’t like doing them because it’s a very obvious ploy for attention and it kind of hurts his pride to need to go to that extent for it
also he finds them a little brutish. like, he’s all about the dominance stuff or whatever, but isn’t shoving the object of your affections into a wall kinda unnecessary?? (plus he’s a little worried he’ll hurt you by accident because demon strength and all that)
when he does do it, it’s usually to get back at you if you’ve been teasing him, or if you’ve gotten him all flustered in a public setting where he really doesn’t want to be caught looking like romeo when he first saw juliet
it’s kind of his way of trying to take control of the situation - being so flustered and unable to properly articulate all the fuzzy feelings bubbling up in him makes him feel like he’s lost all power in this situation, and while he’d probably trust you with every ounce of his actual power should it come down to it, it still makes his pride hurt a bit
the aforementioned fuzzy feelings usually translate into the whole hand-slam thing - the louder the thud (or the ‘don’, if you will), the more flustered he’s feeling
but, because he’s generally already in a bit of a tizzy by this point, it’s very easy to get him even more flustered
look in directly in the eyes. that’s it he’s gone
when he does this whole embarrassment-driven kabedon thing, he’s usually got his head bent so that you can’t see his face clearly, so you’ll have to either tilt his head back up with your hand or bend down to look up into his face. either way he’s going to implode
hopefully you don’t have any plans in the near future because once lucifer’s calmed down his heart a little bit you’re not going anywhere anytime soon
kabedonned—
if you were anyone else you would have to have balls of absolute STEEL to have the nerve to try to kabedon lucifer
luckily you are not anyone else, so that rule doesn’t apply to you
so! lucifer generally responds to being kabedonned in three ways
1. smooth: lucifer looks at you for a moment, chuckles, then kisses you
this is the most common response because lucifer is in general a very smooth demon (when you haven’t already pre-flustered him to high heaven)
he won’t say it aloud but he very much likes it when this happens
anything that gives him an excuse to kiss you is a good thing to him tbh
2. windows system failure: exactly what it says on the tin. lucifer’s mind goes completely blank and he just stands there against the wall staring at you like ‘huh’
this is second most common and usually happens when you kabedon him while he’s preoccupied with thinking about something
his mind’s still half focused on that other thing but he’s also dimly aware that something has just happened. he’s not entirely sure what, but it sure did happen
this one usually then leads into 1 but it can on occasion lead to...
3. heart-shake: lucifer goes bright red and is unable to speak because his heart is performing a full circus acrobat routine in his chest
this is the least common response and it happens either when you’ve already been teasing/flustering him before the kabedon, or if you kabedon him particularly forcefully and/or smirk while doing it
something about you being all assertive and taking clear charge of the situation is just extremely attractive to him and he doesn’t quite know how to handle it
(you get bonus points if you flip him kabeddoning you into you kabedonning him because… good lord does that give him butterflies)
in crass terms it’s basically just a ‘holy shit that was hot’ moment
(if he’s completely honest though, lucifer has about three of those per week because you just keep finding more ways to be unbearably enchanting)
have fun trying to shake lucifer off after this response though because he gets… whew, he gets intense
mammon:
kabedonning—
mammon kabedons you on a regular basis, and he’ll do it for anything
has your attention been off him for too long? kabedon. were you being a little too nice to that other demon back there? kabedon. have you been looking especially lovely today and don’t even seem to realise it yourself and it’s driving him CRAZY whenever you do anything? kabedon.
however these kabedons don’t actually usually go like they’re ‘supposed’ to go, mostly because your reaction will usually make mammon forget that he’s supposed to be all dominant and stuff
if you get flustered by the kabedon he is just so endeared that he can’t keep it up
he can’t maintain the cool guy act if you start stuttering and like avoiding eye contact because he’s just internally screeching
he’ll last for a maximum of five more seconds and then start grinning goofily and just pulls you into a big hug
might spin you around a bit, might nuzzle into your hair, who knows?
however, if you’re unfazed, he starts getting flustered himself
he is just so weak for those eyes of yours and with you just staring at him like that… he can’t take it
he’ll stop kabedonning you at that and just kind of turn away to try to disguise the way his cheeks have flamed off, muttering something half-heartedly about how you’re no fun
pro-tip! use this chance to catch him off-guard with a kiss. trust me, he’s gonna love it. he may also overheat so much he explodes but that just comes with the territory
if you want a kiss from mammon, however, the best thing to do is to be playful about it when he kabedons you
smile, ask him what he’s doing with a little lilt in your voice, tilt your head to the side just the teeniest bit, etc, etc - nothing that’ll fluster him too much, but just enough to make him heat up a little
he’ll grin goofily back, reply with a heartfelt little one-liner, then lean in
it’s like the two of you are in a romance movie honestly, it’s just that cheesy
kabedonned—
mammon usually starts automatically blushing pretty much as soon as you touch him, but it takes his brain a few seconds to figure out exactly how you’re touching him and— okay whoa is this happening right now???
his instinctive response once he’s caught up with what’s going on is just to clap his hands to his face
and, since we can’t see his expression right now, why don’t we take a peek inside his mind? here we go!
‘this is the best thing ever i think i’m gonna have a heart attack is this even legal how is this possible i’m gonna to die i’m gonna drop dead right here and now but at least i’ll die a happy demon’
this is a rule with mammon: whenever he’s with you, no matter how cool and collected he seems to be, his mind is almost certainly going off the rails in one way or another
whether it’s gushing about how much fun he’s having with you or how nice you make him feel or just general awed admiration
like how the light is hitting you at just the right angle and making it look like you’re glowing like some ethereal being and honestly, to mammon, you might as well be
anyway back to the kabedonning
mammon already generally thinks you are both the cutest and hottest being that there is (if you think those two traits can’t co-exist, take it up with asmo), but when you do things like this… oh boy
if you pointed one of those security infra-red scanners at him he would be entirely red, probably with very aggressive waves of red coming off of him as well
he might as well be considered a nuclear threat at this point
and, much like a lot of nuclear threats do, he’s about to blow up
figuratively speaking
whether you decide to wait the whole process out or speed it up by pulling his hands away from his face - once he’s stopped boiling over like an unwatched pot, he’s basically throwing himself at you
are you ready for all these kisses? because, fasten your seatbelt, you are GETTING them
leviathan:
kabedonning—
levi’s watched romance anime. he’s read romance manga. he’s seen kabedons. of COURSE he’s dreaming of doing it himself some day
easier said than done, though, because levi’s about as good at executing romantic gestures as joseph joestar is at flying planes
he’s tried to do it so many times and every single time he chickens out last minute
and of course there’s an element of insecurity at play here, too - do you even want to be kabedonned by him? what if you find it so unattractive and repulsive that you just straight up leave him?
he’d die. he’d keel over and pass away right there. father’s gonna have to make some room because levi’s soul’s coming home sooner than expected
it’s not like kabedons are even required in a relationship for it to work, but once he’s got it into his head, he can’t stop thinking about doing it, even if it might end in failure
and then, one fateful day…
the two of you are just hanging out in his room, playing some platformer, and then lucifer calls you both down for dinner
you get up and stretch, then start making your way out the room, but levi doesn’t move
he’s so content in this little bubble that he doesn’t want you to go - he doesn’t want this warm feeling to disappear so quickly
so, just as you pause in front of the door to ask him if he’s coming, levi gets up and swiftly backs you up against the wall
then, as you ask him what he’s doing, he abruptly slaps his hand onto the wall behind you
if you’re a little stunned, levi himself is at least a hundred times more so. like, where did that come from?? it’s like some anime alpha male possessed him for a second
well he’s here now so he might as well make the most of the situation
his voice goes quiet and he leans in close, as if you two aren’t the only people in the room and you’d be able to hear him clearly anyway
“can we… stay here for a bit longer?”
well. looks like you aren’t getting any dinner today
kabedonned—
levi has thought plenty about kabedonning you, but he’s never even considered that you might kabedon him
it just didn’t occur to him that it was even a possibility??
so when you do so for the first time, his first response is just to straight up scream
well it isn’t really a full-blown scream, it’s more of a really high pitched ‘wEH?!’
think waluigi but more short and snappy, and also a whole lot more panicked. also he’s on helium
he starts just stuttering furiously and the words he’s saying don’t… sound like words at all???
here, i’ll give you the transcript. imagine these words and sounds have been put in a blender and then sprayed out through a hose - that’s what levi sounds like saying them
“i— huh— you— hand? me? hand me? you— huh— wuh— uh— what—”
you just smile knowingly (you’d anticipated this response already) and kiss him
there’s a very long moment of stunned silence, and then levi’s off again
you’ve just turned the speed on the blender up to 100, and now it doesn’t even sound like he’s saying anything in any language at all
“awuhuhuhawhtahandnkawhuhahuhdon????”
if you recorded this and then played it to a voice activated ai like siri, the entire device would just shut down
levi’s flustered on the regular by every other thing you do , but this is on a whole new level - and he has no idea how to deal with it
in the end he just kind of collapses forwards and hides his face in your shoulder
you laugh and pat him on the back as he grips onto the back of your shirt or jacket or jumper, still mumbling unintelligibly
you’ll have to give him a while to recover, and you might want to guide him to somewhere more comfy where you two can sit/lie down, because he’s not removing his face from your shoulder anytime soon
give him more warning next time, he nearly passed out
[five minutes later]
levi: “that was the most terrifying thing ever, i thought my heart was gonna fail ”
you: “sorry, sorry”
levi: “...do it again”
satan:
kabedonning—
out of everyone, satan’s the only one who fully commits to and properly goes through with kabedons regularly, and those kabedons usually happen in libraries
satan’s seen plenty of romantic dramas and rom-coms in his time, and he’s seen a lot of canoodling in libraries, especially when the romance is in a university or high school setting
study date meet-cutes, love interests’ hands brushing when they reach for the same book, doing some gross couple-y stuff in one of the more unpopular aisles, and, of course, kabedons
and satan’s both very easily influenced by the stuff he watches and (for some reason) can get really competitive with other couples, even fictional ones
it’s like ‘oh, you think YOU’RE a cute couple? watch and learn, you silly little baby man’
thus: he too must have a very romantic moment in a library with you, and it has to be BETTER than all those fictional couples’ moments
he has a bit of a modus operandi when it comes to the kabedons, to the point where you can usually spot when he’s planning one about five minutes before he actually does it
(it’s not that he invites you on library dates specifically because he’s planning to kabedon you in the corner at some point during it, it just often hits him halfway through said dates that this would be one great Romantic Opportunity )
he’ll not-so-sneakily get you to come with him to a quiet aisle by the wall, where he’ll start pretending to be browsing the books
then he’ll use some poor excuse to call you over (one time it was ‘hey, look, there’s a dead fly on the shelf’)
and then he executes the kabedon
it kind of gives you emotional whiplash because when he pushes you into the corner and places his hand firmly on the wall beside your head he seems so decisive and confident, but then suddenly he’s smiling all gently and leaning in
his kisses are so soft?? it’s kind of like he’s apologising for being forceful with the pushing just earlier with them
(the librarian is usually fully aware this is happening but they’re too scared of satan to intervene)
kabedonned—
it’s unexpectedly hard to catch satan in the right situation to kabedon him because he’s usually sitting about with a book and it’s nearly impossible to efffectively kabedon someone in a chair
keyword here being nearly because you’ll be damned if you aren’t going to try
first you need to choose the right moment - the kabedon will be most effective if you do it when he’s least expecting it
so you’ll wait until he’s fully absorbed in his book - you can tell when he is because he’ll bringing the book closer and closer to his face
you’re also going to need to take into account the environment - he’s sitting on the sofa in the middle of the room, so there’s no wall to slam your hand against
thus, you’ll just have to make do with the back of the sofa itself
alright, that’s the plan done with. time to GO IN
at this point, satan’s already very dimly aware that you’re planning something - as preoccupied by his book as he is, he’s always got room in his mind to observe you
but, like i said, it’s very dimly, and he most definitely isn’t expecting you to suddenly get up and push him back into the sofa, then cage him in by slamming your hand beside his head
his first thought goes something like this: 'wuh HUH?!”
his second thought is: ‘okay. you know what. this is very attractive actually.’
his book has long since fallen out of his hands at this point, and he’s just kind of sitting there and staring dumbly up into your face, which is, like, distractingly close
then you smirk at him. how DARE????
how DARE you be so charming. how DARE you make him feel like his heart’s about to burst right of his chest. how DARE you do this and NOT immediately kiss him????????
he’s fixing that right this instant, so you better be prepared
book be damned, he’s an idiot and he’s in love, and you’re also an idiot but you’re a beautiful idiot that by some miracle of the universe is his, and he’s going to die if he doesn’t have you close within two (2) seconds
asmodeus:
kabedonning—
asmo’s not really a ‘kabedon’ kind of guy, he’s more of a ‘run up from behind and tackle-hug around the waist’ kind of guy
he’s not someone who needs to be in a dominant kind of position, figuratively speaking - and he finds it incredibly alluring when you take up that role, so he usually just leaves it open for you to do so
that being said, he doesn’t not enjoy being in that position either
it’s asmo, he’s into pretty much anything under the sun
to be honest he’s not entirely sure what a kabedon is because he doesn’t really watch a lot of dramas or anime or anything that might include a kabedon, he just knows that it’s a term and that it involves walls
he may be the avatar of lust but he can’t be aware of every possible romantic move out there
then one day, while out shopping together, he sees a couple in the shoe section who are decidedly not browsing the shoes
he points them out to you, something vague about how odd the way they’re standing is, and you take a look, then laugh and explain what’s going on over there to him as you move off into a different section of the shop
he seems to be pretty intrigued by the concept - he’s actually paying more attention to your explanation that he is to all the pretty suits and dresses around him, and soon enough it becomes obvious why
and then, as soon as your explanation’s over, he abruptly catches you by the wrist, backs you up against the wall, and performs the most flawless kabedon ever
like i don’t think you understand how smooth it was. if it was an x-factor performance he would have gotten the golden buzzer. if it was a strictly come dancing performance he would have gotten all tens. it was just THAT perfect
he leans forward, so that his nose is brushing up against yours, and stares intently into your eyes for a moment or two, one hand against the wall to keep you caged in and one hand slowly reaching up to touch your face
then he suddenly gives you a playful little kiss and pulls back again, beaming, and asks, “how was that?”
well, i’ll leave that up to you - how was that?
kabedonned—
i said it just before, asmo is always just enamoured when you take charge over him, and this is no exception
you might as well start ringing the wedding bells yourself because when you do things like this asmo gets cupid-shot about ten times over
it’s actually quite the foreign feeling - asmo’s used to being the one shooting the arrows, not the one being struck by them - but he can’t say that he dislikes it
because honestly? he adores it
the fact that you can genuinely make him feel like a schoolboy experiencing love for the first time or a groom on his wedding day, the way that you can make him feel so in love - it’s just so special to him
being the avatar of lust, he’d honestly thought at one point that he wasn’t even capable of feeling genuine love for someone - that he’d only ever be able to feel desire, not real affection
but then you came along and turned just about everything he thought he knew on its head
and asmo? he couldn’t be happier
so, taking this back to the kabedon...
the instant he catches onto what you’re doing he just starts giggling furiously
it’s not like vindictive ‘haha this is so funny’ giggling or anything, it is pure, unbridled JOY
it’s like liquid happiness that’s been poured into a spray bottle and he’s just absolutely going wild with the nozzle (why does this sound vaguely euphemistic)
and asmo’s giggling is pretty infectious, so you start cracking up too
you attempt to say something reproachful to asmo for always making you lose your cool when you try to do this, and the back and forth that follows is so punctuated by laughter that the words don’t really sound like words anymore
at some point the not-words disappear and become kisses, but neither you nor asmo are ever sure when that happens
he often clings to you for a while afterwards, because moments like these are the ones he holds closest to his heart, and he always finds it hard to let them end
at this point the kabedons have kind of become an essential part of your regular affection rituals - they’re like your special little thing as a couple
beelzebub:
kabedonning—
beel does know what kabeddoning is, but it’s only because of levi
(he’s a good passive listener as long as he has a decent supply of food throughout whatever he’s listening to, so levi often rants to him about anime and stuff)
and he’s not particularly opposed to the idea, but it can’t be said that he definitively wants to do it, either
beel doesn’t usually have any concrete ideas about what he wants in terms of affection, whether it’s about what he wants to do or what he wants you to do. he just kind of takes each moment as it happens, and counts any acts of affection that he does get to receive or perform as a blessing
still, it doesn’t mean he’s never going to do it. it’s just only going to happen once and then he’ll probably forget it’s a thing he can do for the rest of time
what is that one time? well i’ll tell you right now
you and beel are just having a merry old time in the kitchen attempting to make cream puffs from the recipe barbatos gave you, and at one point or another, you managed to get a sizeable dollop of cream on your nose
beel has already been having a hard time refraining from eating the ingredients throughout the whole baking process, and this is just the last straw
he likes food, that’s obvious enough, but he also likes you, devastatingly so
put the two together and what do you get? the demonic equivalent of a carrot on a stick!
beel just starts shadowing your every step around the kitchen, while you remain completely oblivious to the hole he’s staring through your face
in the end he has enough of beating around the bush and just suddenly backs you up against the counter
now this isn’t the beel you know. WHO is this suddenly assertive and intimidating demon and WHERE is your sweet boy
oh! here he is! he’s swiping the cream off your face with his thumb and then kissing you on the tip of your nose :>
the kabedon’s over as soon as it begun, really, and it’s a very fleeting moment, but it definitely happened, so you can say that much
kabedonned—
beel is hard to kabedon because he just won’t notice he’s being kabedonned - you’re gonna have to explicitly tell him what’s going on
and even then he usually doesn’t really react, he just kind of stands there like ‘is this what’s happening right now? okay.’
beel only really gets properly flustered by a select few things, and unfortunately this isn’t one of them
that doesn’t mean he dislikes it when you kabedon him - you have to get close to him to perform them, after all, and that’s always a good thing in his books - he just doesn’t have any particularly strong feelings it happening
that being said, he’ll gladly play along with your little charade if it makes you happy, and if he realises that you like it when he responds to these kabedons in a certain way, he’ll keep doing it
one of his favourite things to do when you back him up and try to look all intimidating is to just scoop you up into a giant bear hug
you’ll immediately drop that act and wriggle half-heartedly in faux-protest, though you’re definitely wrapping your arms around him as well
he also figures out at one point or another that if he just acts surprised/clueless, you’ll usually end up giving him a kiss, and he is ALL about those
(sometimes he just immediately kisses you himself when you kabedon him and you get all flustered and he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever)
now, those astute among you will have noticed that i said usually beel doesn’t really react. usually doesn’t mean always, so what happens those other times?
well, every now and then, beel responds to being kabedonned with just OUTRAGEOUS happiness
actually it’s not so much the kabedon itself that has this effect on beel, it’s just the act of affection itself
like i said before, beel usually takes each act of affection as a blessing as it comes, but every now and then they hit him hard and he’s just like ‘WOW i am in love!!’
it’s like you got a shot of serotonin and just injected it straight into his brain and it’s the best feeling ever
your love hits better than any drug ever could and that’s a FACT
belphegor:
kabedonning—
does it still count as kabedonning if it’s against a bed instead of a wall and you do it with two hands?
i’m pretty sure kabe means wall in japanese but you know what i’ll count it a kabedon, it has the right vibes
anyway, belphie probably kabedons you the MOST out of everyone
he’ll do it to get you to lie down to take a nap with him - like he’ll just push you down onto the mattress, hover over you for a moment with an oddly serious look on his face, then just collapse on top of you and go to sleep
you probably won’t be able to get him off anytime soon and anyway the way he’s just hugging you close is very cute, so you might as well stay put
(plus if you do push him off he’s probably just going to get up and plonk himself on top of you again)
(in case it wasn’t already obvious, these instances all involve a ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ mode belphie)
he’ll also do it to wake you on the rare occasion that he’s up before you - you’ll open your eyes to find a shadow over you and next thing you know belphie’s attacking your face with little kisses
it’s a nice way to begin the day and it seems to make belphie very happy as well, which is a bonus
i don’t know where belphie gets the strength to basically just plank over you, sometimes for minutes at a time (i can’t even plank for thirty seconds), but i guess it’s just sheer willpower/need for cuddles
sometimes he’ll just do it for no reason at all, he just ‘felt like it’ - like you’ll both be hanging out in the attic, messing around on your D.D.D.s or doing some homework, and he’ll suddenly just push you over and do his bed-kabedon thing
it’s one of the ways he tries to get you to pay more attention to him when he doesn’t think he’s getting enough
though when belphie’s in ‘maximum cuddle overdrive’ mode, no amount of attention is ever enough. like he’ll want cuddles even while he’s GETTING cuddles
kabedonned—
belphie isn’t upright enough of the time to be properly kabedonned very often
however, do not fear! it’s a very easy feat to just use his bed-kabedon trick on him
fair warning, though, it might not give you the result you’re looking for - if you want to fluster him, a bed-kabedon won’t work because he’ll just respond by immediately wrapping his arms around your neck and pulling you down into his chest
and then you most likely won’t be able to move for a while because now that belphie’s decided you will be his cuddle buddy for the remaining duration of his nap, he will NOT let go
belphie, much like beel, can only be properly flustered by some very specific things, and once again, kabedons aren’t one of those things
he’s hard to fluster in general because he’s nearly always half asleep so his brain doesn’t process things enough to get flustered
like, say you manage to catch him standing for long enough to properly kabedon him. he doesn’t process the kabedon, he just processes that you touched him and are very close now and thinks ‘ah. kiss time’
it can get a little irritating because he’s not taking you seriously but he also smiles a very cute little smile and he does give you kisses anyway so you GUESS it’s okay
if belphie picks up that you seem to REALLY be into the whole kabedon thing, he’ll try to play along, but he acts it out so poorly so it just feels like he’s making fun of you
like you’ll back him up against the wall and everything and he’ll be like [holding hands up in surrender] “oh nooo please be gentle i am but a flustered boy. also you look very nice today have i told you that yet’
(i’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically what he’s saying)
he doesn’t mean to sound so sarcastic, but the way his voice naturally sounds + his bad acting just makes it come off like that
oh no now he’s made you grumpy
“nooo don’t be sad ur so cute aha”
i’m kidding i’m kidding, he doesn’t say that
but he does feel kinda bad now so he’ll probably spoil you a bit if you want him to
diavolo:
kabedonning—
i’ll be frank with you, diavolo has NO idea what a kabedon is or how it works
for one thing he’s never really been into the sort of media that shows a lot of kabedonning, and for another diavolo just isn’t great with what’s ‘down with the kids’ these days
as far as he’s concerned about how dating/seduction works, the most romantic thing you can do is sword-fight anyone who tries to steal your sweetheart away, like a medieval knight
(he still has yet to do this himself but that’s mostly because everyone’s too scared of the demon lord to even think about going after his beloved, so he doesn’t get the chance to propose sword fights very often)
even if you did spend ages explaining the concept of kabedons to him, he’d probably just accidentally push you over or something while trying to do it
and then he’d spend five minutes apologising profusely and offering all sorts of treasures and treats to you so that you won’t be mad at him
diavolo just cannot have you be upset with him, it physically hurts his soul
anyway even after your explanation he still doesn’t quite get it - like, what’s the point? why do people do it? why do people enjoy getting shoved into walls???
so you try familiarising him with them by watching a couple of romance animes/dramas or whatever it is that kabedons appear in most frequently together
and every single time a kabedon happens he just turns to you with the most ‘?????’ expression you’ve ever seen
his entire face scrunches up and he just kind of looks like he’s eaten a really sour lemon
now that you’ve given him the challenge, though, he’s determined to get it right at least once, if only just to make you happy (have i ever mentioned how much he likes it when you’re happy? it makes his heart do the smiley emote)
unfortunately he still has yet to successfully pull of a kabedon, despite having tried it like five times by now
the first time he did actually accidentally push you over, the second time he fell over himself, the third time he knocked a painting off the wall… it just keeps going wrong
give him time, he’ll get there eventually
kabedonned—
you know how earlier i mentioned that diavolo doesn’t understand why people enjoy being kabedonned? well once you do it he has an epiphany
THIS is why people kabedon each other. THIS is why so many people want to be kabedonned. THIS is why they enjoy it
IT’S REALLY HOT
sorry was that a bit too strong
it makes his heart go WHOOSH right into the hemisphere (or the devildom equivalent anyway)
it’s like one of his heartstrings is tied around your little finger
on any occasion you’re still tugging at it and making him all soft like a marshmallow, but when you do things like this, you’re doing the equivalent of tying that string to a rocket that’s about to take off
diavolo has ASCENDED (celestial realm watch out because the demon prince is about to bust through your floor)
he always responds by covering the bottom half of his face with one hand and blushing furiously, but he’s also got a massive grin (he’s partially hiding it with the hand, but when diavolo smiles like this he does it with his whole face, so you can still tell)
look, it doesn’t matter if you’re on the smaller side and not very intimidating. it still hits him like a truck that’s on fire
diavolo’s so dazed and basically high on the love feeling that he’ll probably agree to anything you ask him while kabedonning him
like you could probably ask him to dissolve the rad and replace it with a giant pancake restaurant or something and he’d just nod like “yes absolutely, whatever you want”
you’re not evil though so you don’t really take advantage of this agreeableness for much other than getting him to promise to buy you some more of a snack you like or something
(though you wouldn’t really need to kabedon him to get him to agree to that, he’d agree to do so any day, any time)
barbatos has witnessed you kabedonning his boss multiple times and every time he is impressed even more by the sheer effect you have over his young master
barbatos:
kabedonning—
would you be surprised if i told you barbatos also doesn’t know what a kabedon is? probably not
unlike diavolo, though, once you explain what they are, he nails it perfectly
i mean what were we expecting it’s barbatos
the thing is that they feel kind of… robotic? like, it’s too perfect, too by the book, too exact to ones you see in anime - it’s like he looked at a step-by-step guide and followed every single word by the letter
and barbatos doesn’t do anything except for the kabedon, either - he’ll back you up against the wall, put his hand on the wall for a bit, stare at you, then just walk off again
it doesn’t help that he usually executes these kabedons when he’s still in the middle of working and just happens to pass by you, so it’s not like he can linger for long anyway
it’s like he doesn’t really understand that a kabedon is more than just about the kabedon, it’s about what you do with the situation the kabedon creates… if that makes sense
but then one day something changes
it’s evening, which means barbatos is officially on break, and the two of you are spending it taking a nice walk around the castle’s gardens
he’s just listening silently to you talk with this little smile on his face, and then that smile slowly starts becoming more thoughtful
there’s just something about the way you look in the dim light of the garden, surrounded by all these lovely flowers (though of course you are the loveliest of them all), and how content you seem to be and the feeling of your hand in his…
might as well call you fergalicious because you make this boy go loco
he subtly starts backing you up against one of the hedges, just staring real intently into your face like he usually does with the robot kabedons… except this time the intense stare becomes a gentle smile and he kisses you
it’s not a proper kabedon since it’s a hedge and he doesn’t do the hand slam (no kabe and no don, truly a tragedy), and also he didn’t really do it with the intention of it being a kabedon… but spiritually i’m counting it as one anyway
kabedonned—
let me warn you now: kabedonning barbatos is a real bad idea. and it’s not because he’ll get irritated or anything
it’s because he passes out. no i am not joking
you back him into the wall and he hits the floor before your hand can even hit the wall
barbatos is a vanilla boy, perhaps even more so than simeon, which is pretty surprising in and of itself. i mean, a demon being less knowledgable about love than an angel, beings which literally have to live by chastity as a law?
it’s true that they’ve both been around for a while, but simeon’s been acquainted a whole host of beings with all sorts of personalities and interests and heard a bunch of weird stories over the year
barbatos on the other hand has always been kind of sheltered compared to him - being such a busy guy, he doesn’t get to go out into the world very often or meet a lot of people
and diavolo isn’t exactly a paragon of romantic knowledge either
anyway! this is why he immediately keels over when you kabedon him
he isn’t used to feeling such a sudden rush of attraction - he isn’t even completely used to having that constant warmth that pools inside him whenever he thinks of/is around you
love is a very foreign thing to barbatos, and so is this sort of… desire??? is that the word??? i don’t want to use arousal it sounds kind of weird
and his body has no idea how to handle it, so it just shuts down immediately
diavolo was concerned about this at first but since he realised that the passing out doesn’t really have any negative after-effects, he stopped getting so alarmed
now he just thinks it’s the funniest thing in the entire world
barbatos himself doesn’t hold it against you, but he would prefer that you at least refrain from knocking him out while he’s still working
(although every time he passes out like this he wakes up to you taking care of him, which is definitely not a bad thing… so maybe… it’s alright if you do it every now and then)
simeon:
kabedonning—
believe it or not, simeon is proficient at the art of the kabedon
he wasn’t at first but he is now because he just keeps doing it
in the beginning it was just a fun little thing that he saw in a tv show and wanted to give a go, but then he also started doing them whenever he wanted attention, and whoa, is this really your angel???
so let’s get into that!
simeon’s a drama queen when it comes to not getting enough of your love, and he’s not ashamed to show it
it’ll usually start out with not-very-subtle body language - shifting about to place himself closer to you, fiddling with his hands, sighing loudly and then looking at you pointedly, etc.
then, if you continue to not give him the affection he seeks, he'll start calling - i.e. he’ll cup his hands around his mouth (even though you’re both sitting pretty much next to each other) and be like “heyyyy! your angel’s over here!!! and he wants love!!! heyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!”
if that doesn’t work he moves onto poking you every few seconds and waiting for a response
and if that still doesn’t work, he pulls it out… the kabedon
it’s like he suddenly flips a switch - his entire demeanour just changes without so much as a warning
the playfulness completely disappears, and he leans in real close as well, smile gone and replaced with a very intimidating stare
he doesn’t say anything for a good while, and to be honest it kind of feels like he’s sizing you up to perform a murder
of course simeon doesn’t do that though
when he thinks he’s stared for long enough, he’ll pull back a bit, then tilt his head just little to the side and ask, “you’ll pay attention to me now, right?”
gonna be honest you don’t really feel like you have a choice
once you nod (or, even better, lean forward and give him a kiss), he immediately lights up
it’s like the switch has flipped back, and he beams so happily (and innocently) that you kind of forget what just happened - and he does a good job distracting you with all the affection as well
kabedonned—
i did mention earlier that simeon is more knowledgeable in these fields than barbatos, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t also react very strongly to being kabedonned
he doesn’t pass out but he gets damn close
you don’t understand how he be both so suave when kabedonning you and immediately turn into an anime schoolgirl with her first crush as soon as the tables are turned
don’t dish it out if you can’t take it, c’mon man
between this and the fact that he took nearly a month to be able to cuddle in bed with you without turning into a human torch,  it’s becoming clear that simeon will just combust whenever you do anything that has even the most remote risqué connotations
he’s fine with hugs and kisses and stuff but place a hand on his thigh or something and he immediately gets so hot that he probably manages to speed up global warming a bit (an even more impressive feat considering you’re not even in the human world)
and i guess kabedons fall under the category of risqué to him???
to be fair this extremely flustered response comes mostly when you do the kabedons in a kind of dominantly flirty manner (idk how to put it)
you can practically hear a lid popping off,  like he’s a kettle that’s over boiled
he can’t even say anything, all he can do is stand there attempting to hide his face with his hands
and then he gets even more flustered when you lean in real close and start whispering to him to try to coax him to let you see his face
you wanna know how you can surprise him enough to get him to lower his hand? see that gold metal-ribbon thing keeping his cloak fastened? give it a tug. that’s it, just a nice firm yank
would you look at that! i don’t think i’ve seen that many shades of NEON PINK in my life before!!
(this is absolutely a call out, WHY is simeon’s in-game blush PINK???? they did a darker red for mammon, so why didn’t our angel lad get the same treatment?????)
luke:
when he sees simeon kabedonning you—
the first time he saw this happen luke genuinely thought simeon was attacking you
he walked into the living room just as simeon backed you up against the sofa and just screamed
simeon didn’t even have the grace to pull away, he just looked up at and waved hello like what he was doing was perfectly normal
i mean, it kind of is, but luke doesn’t know that - all he knows is that he’s pinning you to the sofa, what the fuck simeon
“what are you doing?! simeon! let go!!!”
he actually hurries in and attempts to wrench simeon off you himself, and the older angel just lets him since 1. he thinks it’s cute how protective he’s being, and 2. he’s too busy laughing to resist
luke somehow doesn’t notice simeon absolutely losing it and immediately checks on you like a worried mum
you’re very close to bursting into laughter yourself, but you collect yourself once you realise how genuinely concerned luke looks
you reassure him that you’re fine, but he doesn’t relent immediately - he starts patting down your arms and asking if it hurts anywhere
then simeon starts getting up and starts to say something, and luke immediately throws an arm out in front of you
“stay back! i— i won’t let you do anything! even if it’s you, simeon!”
that’s it simeon’s on the floor again
he just thinks it’s so funny that luke’s reacting like this to a kabedon
you also think it’s pretty amusing but it’s also very heartwarming to know that luke would be willing to fight one of his own if he needed to protect you
in the end you both explain what was going on to luke (well, you did most of the explaining, simeon was still too giggly to speak coherently)
he doesn’t really get it, but he does now understand that seeing a kabedon in action probably means that something Romantic is about to happen and he does not want to see that
nowadays when he walks into a room and sees simeon kabedonning you he just immediately walks out again
when he sees lucifer kabedonning you—
imagine you’re luke in this situation. you've just gotten back an essay with top marks, and you’re looking for your favourite parental/sibling figure to show them and also thank them for helping you write the esay
so you ask your other favourite parental/sibling figure, and he says that he saw them in the library earlier
so off you go to the library, full of youthful joy! but what do you see when you open the door to the library? lucifer himself, the avatar of pride and diavolo’s right hand man, has your favourite parental/sibling figure cornered against the wall!
wEEWOOWEEWOO THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, ALL UNITS TO THE FRONT
luke doesn’t even register that lucifer is actually the flustered one here (read back to his part if you’ve already forgotten), he just sees a big demon trapping you and gets immeasurably angry
he immediately takes up a battle stance, one hand pointing at lucifer and the other one clenched in front of his chest and beginning to crackle with angelic magic
“let them go right now!”
lucifer kind of freezes, while you peek around at luke from under his arm, a little concerned
this is one heck of an overreaction, not to mention that this situation could have been very dangerous for luke if lucifer was genuinely attacking you somehow
but luke doesn’t care that his magic probably wouldn’t even give lucifer a cut or that lucifer could squish him like a bug if he really wanted to, he just wants to protect you
it’s so sweet but also unnecessary in this situation becuase lucifer wasn’t attacking you - quite the contrary, actually
lucifer is refusing to look at luke because he’s still blushing and he doesn’t want him to see, so you just quickly reach up and pat his shoulder or something, maybe give him a little kiss on the cheek, then quickly go to calm luke down and clear the situation up
and once he’s recovered from the surprise of the situation (and gotten rid of the blush), lucifer will also come up to join the explanation
luke kind of bristles a bit at him and while lucifer might have been offended by the whole thing on any other occasion, he’s in a good mood today, so he just thinks it’s rather funny
solomon:
kabedonning—
for some reason, no matter how much he tries to avoid it, solomon always breaks something whenever he kabedons you
it’s like there’s a kabedon-god watching from up in the heavens, and they’re personally giving him the middle finger
and, speaking of fingers...
one day solomon’s experimenting with some ‘creative’ magical devices, among which is a ring that’s meant to cause a very small explosion if the stone in it is pushed down
he puts it on to make sure there aren’t any malfunctions or whatever, and at that moment you walk into the room with a hot drink for him
you have this kind of effect on solomon where, every now and then, he’ll look at you and get so overwhelmed that he practically forgets his own name
it’s like your very presence is enamouring enough that it dims everything around you in comparison, and solomon is a moth to your flame
you put the mug down on the table and give him an encouraging little kiss on the cheek, then begin to walk out
and solomon, forgetting that this always ends in disaster, decides to kabedon you before you can leave
and what else has he forgotten? that’s right! the explosive ring!
it’s a little bit too big for him, so it’s spun around on his finger, meaning that the stone is on his palm side when he slams his hand onto the wall, and you can probably see where this is going
solomon accidentally activates the explosion mechanism, realises just in time to wrench the ring-wearing hand away and cast a shielding spell over you with his free hand, then BANG
rip solomon’s left hand
the explosion enchantment on the ring wasn’t very strong, so the damage really isn’t that bad - his skin’s just a bit burnt, mostly - but the finger that the ring was on got the full brunt and recoil of the explosion, which unfortunately means that it’s now broken
the kabedon curse continues to ruin everything...
solomon can easily fix himself up with a spell, but instead he chooses to be as dramatic as possible about it so that you’ll fuss over him >:)
kabedonned—
the kabedon god must really hate solomon because the curse carries over to when you try to do it to him as well
you don’t break things, though, no no no, that’d be too easy
instead, every time you kabedon solomon… he has a nose bleed
ok so this may not be so much the kabedon as it is solomon himself, but EVEN SO! i that trope has been scientifically disproven! people don’t actually get nosebleeds when they’re flustered, so obviously this is the curse’s doing
at one point you suspect that he might somehow be doing it on purpose just to fuck with you, but solomon is adamant that he can’t control this
i mean, come on! why would he want to interrupt a kabedon, a prime opportunity for some affection?? it’s just illogical
solomon himself HATES this, but he just can’t do anything about it
at this point he’s genuinely upset that these things happening and just wants ONE kabedon to go successfully
it doesn’t help that levi’s recently been pestering him to watch this romance anime with a very prominent kabedon scene and it just… ugh why can’t HIS kabedons go like that
he wants that quiet kind of charged romantic moment!! he wants that flustered laughter!!! he wants that kiss!!!
but NO, kabedon god just keeps shooting him in the foot
one time another couple was in the library with you two and just as one of them kabedonned the other, the one being kabedonned announced that they were breaking up with them
you and solomon had a bit of a crisis after that - like, is the curse so bad that it’s affecting other people around you as well???
at this point you and solomon should probably just stay away from all kabedon-related things in general
but you know what? that’s fine
you don’t need kabedons to get kisses, and solomon sure as hell isn’t going to stop wanting/giving those
take that, kabedon god! we don’t want your stupid cliche moment anyway!
but if either of you are watching anything and a kabedon scene comes up, you’re both immediately either turning off the device or just leaving the room entirely
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hey-its-spades · 2 months ago
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Satan:* storms Into goth mc's room* "MC WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS??"
Satan:* holds up one of their black jackets, it has an iron on patch that says ' not today satan '*
Goth mc: Uuuuhhhh I can explain-
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saeyoungchoismaid · a month ago
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[5:27 pm]
Satan watches you, his best friend, from the other side of the park, a smile on his face. He’d never get over how beautiful you are. The wind blows your hair and clothes around, your eyes closing as you take in the feeling. The sun sets behind you, making your skin and hair glow. You’re ethereal.
Maybe one day he can call you his.
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writer-akihiko · a month ago
Note
Hey, I hope your feeling well. Can I have a request for obey me brothers x a neutral s/o which they look innocent into their but they actually badass and a savage fighter? It's okay to ignore this ask if you like.
ObeyMe!Brothers + Fighter!GN!MC
These are a little short, but I hope it was sweet enough as compensation! I put the description of the weapon next to the names, so you can have an idea of what's to come [in case anyone's uncomfortable with certain weaponry]. Asmo's part is a little suggestive, so please skip if you are uncomfortable.
Warnings: Mentions of stalkers and sudden attacks [by NPCs]. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with that.
Lucifer – Dagger
Lucifer thought he knew you, but apparently he didn't anticipate that his lover was capable of handling themselves amongst even the wildest demons
He was with Diavolo, and that's when Belphegor reported an instance of some monsters that were let loose, and he was quick to get anxious that you were at the location of the rampage
He didn't care for any instructions, he had to ensure your safety first. Diavolo allowed it, trusting Lucifer's abilities to settle the situation
It surprised the Avatar of Pride to find his lover in the midst of the battle, slashing away at the beasts. You didn't kill any, since you didn't have demonic magic but Lucifer was still astonished that you could hold them off
After the scuffle, Lucifer held you up, brushing his hands over your skin to check for any wounds. You found his visible confusion adorable, "Oh? Are you impressed?" you laughed, combing the stray hairs away from his face.
He was quick to readjust himself, giving you a tender smile only you would ever see. "Very much so, my love."
Mammon – Axe
Sure, he'd usually fool around with his goldie but he never took you seriously when you asked him to get you an axe. It was a purchase that was excused by Lucifer, to Mammon's relief. Still, he was sure that the axe wasn't just for decoration…
Mammon planned to spend the evening in your room, and he was running late since he forgot the snacks for your date night. Sounds of breaking glass only made him panic, as he thought for your safety
What he didn't expect was to see his darling with an axe in hand, looming over two pesky demons and huffing at them
The demons were perverts peeping in your room, and of course you had to settle them. The only thing now was Mammon fearing what you'd do if he misbehaved...
The demons were quickly settled with, and soon Mammon and you were wrapped in comfy blankets, cuddling with each other close. "Hey..." He started. "You won't ever use that thing on me right?"
All you could offer was a smile. "Hmm... Who knows if you behave, my Mammon?" The teasing never ended, but Mammon grew a habit of showing off your axe skills to anyone shortly after.
Leviathan – Mace
Levi and you got along for your knowledge of games, but there was also no exception to the merchandise. You were floored that Levi got you a usable replica of one of your favourite weapons form the game Dark Spirits
The usable part was only meant to be a feature, but he'd never expected you to utilise it...
Henry the Snake was misbehaving, so of course Lucifer told him to settle it. You came along, bringing your mace with you 'to defeat the labyrinth' as you said
Henry apparently had a toothache, but before he could use his magic, you kindly asked Henry to open his mouth. He didn't look, but you removed the hurting tooth using your mace
"You knew how to use that?!" He stood there, dumbfounded at how easily you
You shrugged it off. "I like the weapon in-game for a reason Levi..."
Satan – Tantou [Japanese Short Sword]
One day, he found you in the library searching for a certain book. Your peering form was simply adorable to him, so of course he accepted the offer of giving you the book you wanted, no matter how difficult
He gifted you a book on the History of Japanese Weapons, and you were occupied with the several volumes, as you both read with each other in complete peace. He'd be lying if he didn't admit he snuck a few glances of your concentrated expression
Satan was quick to feel a presence, pulling your chair close to his, but his reflexes weren't. He felt the demonic plant reach out to you, about to choke-
The plant didn't harm you in any sort, as you cut down the vine that was reaching for your neck. He was stunned, almost dropping the book in hand as he marveled at your swordsmanship
You had a look at your lover, grinning at him. "Are you impressed? It's been a while since I used my tantou…"
He was speechless, stammering at how you hid such a skill from him. He had such confidence that he knew everything about you, and yet you still proved him wrong in the most amusing way…
Asmodeus – Bow & Arrow
The teasing never stopped from your lover Asmodeus when you asked him if you could have a set of bow and arrows. It wasn't terrible teasing, but your cheeks warmed thinking about the nicknames he'd given you
He'd refer to you as his personal Cupid, praising you so for stealing his heart and his teases about being bound to you forever
You welcomed Asmo's ever public affections, even when you were practicing your archery. For a while, Asmodeus assumed you took the sport as a means of exercise, but he was quickly proven wrong
You reserved your sweet demeanour only for Asmo, so your annoyance had reached its peak when some demons won't leave alone. None of the arrows hit them, but it was close enough to their vital parts for them to feel threatened, and for Asmo to be turned on by the fierce look in your eyes
"U-Um… Are you impressed Asmo?" You hesitated, realising you showed a little of your scarier side to him. You fiddled with the bow in your hand, shuffling your feet.
He pulled you in, gently prying the bow off of you and carried you in his arm. "Oh my sweet Cupid… I'm more than impressed. I don't think I can express it in any other way than showering you in my love~"
Beelzebub – Kunai [Ninja Throwing Knife]
Beel didn't think any of it when you admitted to knowing how to fight a little. He didn't mean it in a doubting way, but he preferred to protect you by himself since he'd prefer you to be unharmed
Your adorable Beel decided it would only be suitable to help you out in the kitchen when it came to knives, even though you were baking his favourite set of cookies…
The cookies were then left to rest, as you and Beel finally had your lunch. Beel's lunch was larger than yours so you decided to check on the cookies…
You caught a cookie thief in the act, reaching for the kunai you had in your pouch, pinning the thief down. It was a wandering hungry soul, but then again, it faced the wrath of a hungry Beel with the stake of his cookies…
You pat Beel's head, as he hadn't stopped pouting since his cookies were under threat. "There there… the cookies are fine…"
His pout never went away, as he asked, "But are you okay YN? Nothing hurt?"
You could only smile at your sweet Beel, nodding as you both took the cookies for the second round of the eating date.
Belphegor – Tessen [War Fan]
It was an understatement of jealousy since Belphegor thought that the intricately decorated fan was a gift from Lord Diavolo
Since the fan could've been a hazard to those who don't know how to use it, you ushered Belphie away from the item, drawing his attention to the fluffy pillow fort you made just for your date
Belphie rested, cuddling you as close as possible, but he had secretly put up a barrier, since he felt someone watching you the entire day…
You knew of the stalker, well, more accurately some demon who dislikes you. The commotion woke Belphie up, who saw you shave off the demon's hair with the fan
"Sorry about that Belphie, are you alright?" You said, folding your fan up after scaring the demon away.
"Yeah I am…" He said, stretching out his arms to you. "Now let's cuddle…"
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solomonish · 12 months ago
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What I Think Your Favorite Demon Brother Says About You
warning for deprecating and some nsfw humor. also this is all for the memes i doubt anybody fits all these boxes
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Lucifer
every otome game you’ve ever played has a man that looks exactly like him. and you go for it. every. time.
no. i’m not joking. go into your otome memory databank and look at all the character you’ve romanced. that’s right, you black-haired red-eyed vampire loving bitch they’re all the same
speaking of: you say “oh haha sparkly vampires ew real vampires or horrifying creatures of the night” but you secretly want to be sucked dry by a vampire of the handsome sparkly sort
you are religious about ao3 fic tagging (as you should be)
you have looked into those websites where you sign up to be a sugar baby
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Mammon
the childhood friend trope was not an option so you stuck with this
it takes exactly 76.6% of you ONE comfortable casual conversation for you to fall in love
You have what it takes to make several viral tiktoks. Not for your wit though they all end in you getting hurt
You don't know if you're going to/what you want to go for in college. Even if you're currently in college.
“you’re ALREADY annoyed with me?? Try having me in your head all the time forever!!”
20 million phone games because they bore you too easily and you forget to delete them
you’ve had to swear yourself off of amazon lest you spend every last dollar on sketchy finds
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Leviathan
you’re either so familiar with psychological projection you’ve somehow morphed it’s meaning in your mind to something different entirely or you are not familiar with it at all
you (or your friends) know/knew the Russian national anthem and would frequently make the obligatory communism jokes high schoolers find so funny for some reason
you were the friend who openly admitted to their friends that you wrote fanfic
You kin
You had a google+ and used it regularly
Also a wattpad (and you still have a wattpad?)
You wish text signatures were still a thing
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Satan
you are/will be the former gifted kid who burned out two years into their degree and are now/will be having an existential crisis for a solid few years
you believe in catboy supremacy
All of your OCs are/were "super quiet and shy but mess with her friends and she'll killies you!!!1!!1"
you secretly wish you had a reason to go somewhere nice and dress up
Scary good at mafia-style games
“your mind and your meat are huge”
if you ever take an ethics class you WILL be the person who lets it get to their head and won’t shut up about kantian ethics
[raises hand] if i may play devil’s advocate?
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Asmodeus
you filter fics on ao3 by explicit only
you either spend 2 hours minimum getting ready in the morning or you don’t but you DO have a pinterest board full of outfits you’d spend 2 hours minimum getting ready in the morning for
Your shortcomings are the fault of your zodiac sign
You fell into the mustache pattern trend in like 2013
There is at least one social media site where you have/had over 1k followers
“here let me in the dressing room, I’ll help you change!”
someone asking you to zip up the back of their dress is the highest form of flattery and clasping a necklace on someone is the most romantic gesture in the world
you like high school musical
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Beelzebub
you want a guy that’s sweet, a guy that’s tough, a feminist who likes to pay for stuff
crunching sounds are good ASMR for you
himbos are good for the soul (and while beel is not quite a himbo it’s close enough to count)
your courting process involves asking a significant other to crack a watermelon between their thighs
YES it is reasonable to go to walmart in your pjs at 1 am on a school night they have GUSHERS
if there is any type of ball within your vicinity you WILL pick it up and toss it up in the air aimlessly. this is not up for debate
tiddies (any gender) are best used for friends’ pillows (second best purpose: crumb catchers)
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Belphegor
cMoN fUcK mE EmO bOy
you are told you cannot have something so you immediately need it (moreso than is to be expected)
you’ve used that one sad kaneki icon before
You torture your sims and only play to get a taste of what it feels like to be god
you secretly still like those black-and-white images with the borderline insensitive depression quotes
you’ve gotten in trouble for the stupid stuff you’ve looked up online for one reason or another
you would stick your hand in a lion’s cage just to pet the kitty
you definitely had a secret simon curtis phase
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asmo-ds · 3 months ago
Note
Ok this may be weird but I have to know. I was told the demon bros can get pregnant during there heat. What if there MC has female organs and wants to have a baby but they cant from medical reasons. Would the brothers be willing to carry the baby for there MC?
Brothers Carry Infertile MC's Baby
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Warnings: Infertility, Male Pregnancy, heat, NSWF-ish, mention of abortion read at your own risk
A/N: IM BACK BABY whats good, whats poppin, how y'all doing anyway here some content
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- Male pregnancy wasn't very common in the devildom, but it was possible and did happen sometimes
- So he wasn't totally opposed to it, perhaps a bit anxious to be seen with a baby bump in public, but still willing to try if it would please MC
- When he initially became pregnant he was overjoyed with love for his child and MC but soon grew full of agonizing sickness and other pregnancy symptoms
- with his work piling up in front of him and him having to deal with these symptoms he eventually made his way to Diavolo shamefully asking for some time off, which Dia gladly agreed to
- He was cranky and had sore feet constantly, he was mostly worried about the fact he could barely watch over his brothers in his state though, since chasing them or hanging Mammon could prove to be too difficult on his body and end up hurting the baby.
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- At first he refused to have a child at all with MC, not because he didn't want a kid, but just because he was scared MC would love the kid more than they loved him.
- My mans eventually began to have dreams about babies with MC and how they'd all look exactly like his human and eventually agreed to have MC's kid
- He gets a lot of grimm for posing for demon male pregnancy magazines, since as I stated previously Males were often pregnant so people were willing to pay big bucks for pregnant males, ESPECIALLY if one of those males was a demon lord
- He was whiney and cried a lot, constantly having too many emotions for his head to wrap around at once
- but he was always thankful for the fact that the pregnancy prevented Lucifer from punishing him as MC would always fight Lucifer to protect their child
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-WAHHH THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME WHERE THE GUY GOT PREGNANT OMG
- Jealous of the unborn child when he sees how excited it makes MC
- Hates being pregnant the entire time, refuses to get photos taken of him
- But he does like eating normal food instead of junk food all day since Lucifer insisted they had a healthy a child and basically spoonfed his brother to ensure he and the human had the perfect child
- Would narrate his anime and games to the baby when they were alone, even though it probably couldn't hear him
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- Angery pregnant man
- He knows anger isnt good for the baby but he was just gonna have to accept the fact that his child would be just as angry as him
- he loves being pregnant when he remembers its the beginning of him and MC's family, and when he reads to his baby bump at night, but other than that he hates it
- if it were anyone else he wouldn't have agreed to carry their baby
- feet hurt, tummy hurt, everything hurt he angery
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- very excited for pregnant fun stuff ;)
- loves the way his skin glows when he's pregnant
- hates the cravings though, they make him feel gross and yucky
- he does pregnancy workout vids and holy crap he is so good at them
- i think he might've done them before
- he's also been pregnant before, the pregnancy was always just terminated since he never really felt ready to settle down
- also has a million maternity photos
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- CRAVINGS LIKE OH mY DIAVOLO I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH ODD CRAVINGS
- is super happy most of the pregnancy though
- he just wants to have a family with MC no matter the cost, he loves them and family is one of his biggest goals
- hates the morning sickness though, feels like he's wasting food
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- he wouldn't carry the baby, I honestly think he'd be really uncomfortable with it
- I think he wouldn't really feel comfortable with a family in the first place as he is always too tired to even take care of himself
- knows he wouldn't be able to care for the child properly
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ded-space · 2 months ago
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Obey Me! Characters Kinks/Turn On's
Reblogging permission ✅
Lucifer-
Power play
Humiliation
S&M
Degrading
Switch w/ Top lean
Temperature Play
Barbatos-
Rope bunny
Voyeur/Exhibitionist
Sensory deprivation
Switch w/ Bottom lean
Owner
Latex.
Mammon-
Pegging (they all like it but he especially loves it.)
Sub
Brat
Degradee
Gagging
Experimentalist
Simeon-
Mostly vanilla
Handcuffs
Riding
Praise
Above and beyond aftercare
Satan-
Switch
Brat/Brat Tamer
Masochist
Rigger/Rope Bunny
Master/Mistress
Biting
Diavolo-
Lace
Dom (has been known to sub upon occasion)
Physical overpowering
Edging
Teasing
Daddy/Mommy
Belphie-
Pillow Prince
Missionary
Intercrural sex (thigh job)
Sensory deprivation
Rope Bunny
Toys/Vibrators
Solomon-
Dry humping
Anal
Slave/Master
Rigger
Leather
Non-monogamist
Asmodeus-
Watching in a mirror
Experimentalist
Rigger/Rope Bunny
non-monogamist
Loves BJ's
Romantic
Leviathan-
Cosplay
Sub
Vibrators
Exhibitionist (too nervous though)
Skirts
Choking
I don't like sexualizing Beel because my head-cannon of him being asexual is so strong so sorry if you were looking for his name <3
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Text
Okay here me out;
Canonically Satan was born right after the fall.
Canonically Mammon was the one who kept things together after the fall: looking after his younger brothers and stopping Lucifer from falling into a pit of self-doubt and self-hatred.
Canonically Mammon is good with kids.
Canonically Mammon’s the best at keeping his anger in check and controlling his change into his demon form.
Canonically despite being the personification of wrath Satan has the best control of his Sin compared with the other brothers and their sins, meaning he has a relatively good control of his anger. 
Assumption: Mammon raised Satan after he was born (or played the biggest part in raising Satan at least until the others started moving on from the Fall).
Canonically Mammon makes the most trips to the Human World.
Canonically cats were previously only found in the Human World (until Satan brought a bunch to the Devildom)
Canonically Mammon and Satan both prefer cats.
CONCLUSION: MAMMON INTRODUCED SATAN TO CATS.
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