#sweartogod

[subway-dove]

sewing machines are alive and they hate me

#sweartogod #not even my great grandmother's singer has been kind to me #doveposting

[gingeredmink]

35° outside

y’know it’s kinda messed up how you’re expected to do things in this weather.

maybe dont wanna, maybe just wanna try to melt into the floor.

#doodle #tatsuki #lefia #get lazier everyday sweartogod #at least the floors comfy cause cant be bothered to put in effort to get up

[cassiesboy]

just to check in here. brain empty of thoughts full of dungeons and dragons podcasts

#anybody see that shit happening on dimension 20. wild. WILD. i feel insane. #if rue and hobs don't work their SHIT out soon i SWEARTOGOD!!!! #but also wuvvy... girl the moves you made... i wish we could've seen that play out in full #i wanna see that bitch work a longsword #.txt

[mrvlbimbo]

eddie having to fish his ring out of your coochie 😔

“Hold still babe,” he demanded, pushing his (now ringless) fingers back inside her. He had taken the rest off before returning for the one he lost.

“Get it OUT of me Eddie. I SWEARTOGOD,” she yelled, gripping his forearms tightly.

“Not my fault you’ve got a suction cup pussy or something.”

“I DO NOT have a suction cup pussy. I hate you so much.”

He tried to soothe her, pressing little kisses to her forehead. “I know babe. I know. I’m so sorry.”

“AaAh,” she gasped out as his fingers curled inside her.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, feigning innocence.

“You’re fingering me.” She rolled her eyes at his refusal to take this seriously, unable to hold back little whines when he brushed something Inside of her. That something was not the ring he was searching for.

“Retracing my steps,” he joked, sliding his fingers in farther and making a spiral motion around.

“It feels weird.”

“FOUND IT!” He yelped, clasping his fingers around the ring and sliding it out.

Before she could say anything he slipped the ring over her finger and kissed all around it and over her knuckles. “I love you so much.”

She sighed and shook her head. “What have we learned today, Eds?”

“The rings cannot go inside!” He exclaimed enthusiastically, still peppering her hands and then her face with little kisses as an apology.

“No they cannot,” she giggled.

Taglist here

@angelsarecallin @sebby-staan @niviiera @chaoticgurl @evqans @slut-for-matt-murdock @multihaven @tinyboxxtink @hold-our-destiny @weh-heh-heh @battiebabe216 @captain-satan @avril-reblog-cave @dragon-ash13 @stxvercgersslut  @fangirl199812 @variety-fangirl @buckybeefybarnes @strangerthings64 @baddestbiddiesonly @the-obscurity @racyreverie @ches65 @onxlymnsn @e-girl-on-the-server @marlrocks

#stranger things season 4 #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff

[spoonbenders]

for the past 12 years ive been looking 4 the true identity of an animated short n im finally considering taking it to the ykts tvtropes page but before i do i wld like 2 ask tumblr. i wldnt b surprised if this straight up is not real but if u have knowledge of late 90s/early 2000s cartoons pls read on

quote from discord

"ok. so like. when iwas young iwatched. nay WITNESSED this fucking i think animated short and idk if my sister found it on youtube or if itwas like part of a real cartoon cuz ithad the like 90s/2000s cartoon art style but theplot of the short was that therewas like a city that got addicted to pie because oflike a secret ingredient from like aliens or some shit but it confused me so bad and icant fucking remember what itwas called or anything else abt it exceptfor the fact that the pies could probably kill people from pie overdose n idk if i hallucinated this but ithink someone in the short died from pie overdose onscreen and i sweartogod the phrase MORE HOT PIES was involved. this is my white whale. i used to have nightmares about it"

"i dont remember how the short ended either i think they all fucking died"

#please............i wld rather do anything than have a tvtropes relapse

[skittypilled]

going home #sweartogod

[strangleetomz]

Alright time for tkl stories from last night and today🕺

1- last night i was laying down with my friends when suddenly one of them just starts tkling my sides and stomach and apparently another one of my friends was also tkling that friend because both of us slid down off the couch giggling and squirming.

2- i was tkling my friends to cheat in wii sports & mario kart 😇

3- my friend was kind of like sitting on me and started tkling me for payback for tkling her earlier, i swear to GOD BRO-

4- we was outside okay. and my friends were just tkling eachother back and forth, so i said outloud “Im gonna just turn around and avoid this..” and then one of my friends just tkls me to make me turn around !!,!!.!,:! SND THEN THE OTHER ONE FUCKIN SAYS “Should we have a tkl fight??” AND THE TWO OF THEM START FUCKING SLOWLY WALKING TOWARDS ME WITH THEIR FINGERS SHAPED INTO CLAWS. I immediately said “No- no! No we should not! Not out here..” and they backed off💀

5- Same friend was sitting on me again. But i was like fucking trapped. And she had her legs kind of like spread, and my stomach was therefore exposed. This BITCH(/lh) kept randomly tkling my stomach and she managed to get one of her hands to my ribs because my upper rips were fucking exposed on the one side of me. I was DYING. However im not done. This little shit goes “I have two priorities— this;” and she smacks my ass for some reason?? 😭 “And this;” THEN SHE STARTS TWORDING MY STOMACH AHSHD AND AND AND. My friend who we were sitting next to, didnt know wtf was happening. she just kept feeling me squirming and heard me giggling like mad (which i found out that my laugh when being tworded is literally squeaks and very high pitched and loud giggles) so she said “Okay- what is going on over there!?” And starts mocking my laugh, making me laugh more, and then my friend started twording me again😭

apologies for giant space thats just what it did

6- woke up at 2 in the morning & couldnt fall back asleep for another 2 hours. I was awake, and 2 of the 3 of my friends were still awake, havent gone to sleep at all. naturally for payback i started tkling the friend who was tkling me while she had me trapped under basically her whole fuckin body. but. she. got. me. back.

you can tell this mf likes to tword me😭

7- now i was just twording her for fun but again SHE GOT ME BACK J SWEARTOGOD

8- LAST ONE. now by this point that frined has left, different friend doing this now. But anyways, one of my friends were in the bathroom and we’re laying down and i decided to just squeeze their sides bc i was bored. who here is suprised that they immediately got me back. But they literally fucking sat on my waist, and startes twording all over my torso. Stomach, sides, ribs, hips, and i kept arching my back so they even tworded my back😭 and they kept this up. for so. long. THEY EVEN SAID “I’m the tickle monster!!” but then they got off, and i got a little break so i quickly put the blanket on top of me, yk the famous blanket you see me hiding under when SOME FUCKERS HERE/lh are teasing the shit out of me, but i wanted twords bc im a massive fucking lee LMFAO so i kept like kicking them. AND SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW. THEY IMMEDIATELY FOUND MY TUM BUTTON. and fucking wiggled their finger in my tum button and then they got back ontop of me. and then they sat on my waist again and started doing what they were doing before, then my friend who was in the bathroom came out so i was like “Nohoho- No! Gehehet ohohoff- ohohoff off!” while pushing at them as a panic response, and mind u i hadn’t told them to stop or pushed at them ONCE so u could tell it was bc i was embarrassed of being tworded to literal death while someone else was in the room. Then the friend twording me got off and said “Tkl her!!” before trying to do it again..

SO. how was you guys’ past 2 days🥰

#fizzthelee #fizzthelee tickle stories #holy shit this is the most ove been tworded in so long #and i loved it all #only issue is that ive been in a giant fucking lee mood ever since they left🧍 #anyways #i love my friends #and i love that they enjoy twording me #its like they’re in the community but they aren’t #like if someone were to tell them about the tword community #i feel like they’d start saying they’re part of it around ppl they trust #idk tho

[peepotalking-archive]

bro i sweartogod if one more person fucking calls me- CRUNCHCRUNCBHCRUNCHRUNCH

[p0is0nvalz]

Just sum stranger things stuff i thought of :) (each are separate)

(Chrissy is 18) •It was your birthday and your secret girlfriend, chrissy cunningham had special plans for you. your other friends, however, decided they wanted to throw a suprise party for you. In your house. “chrissy.. i want.. you..” you spoke between rough kisses and struggling to open your front door between heated kisses. Finally, the second you unlocked the door, you pinned her up against the wall “i get to top this time, yeah?” “Yeah baby, the little birthday girl gets to destroy me tonight”

“Supri..se?” You both whipped your heads to see Eddie, Steve, Dustin, and Mike with their eyes popped out, their mouths dragging on the floor, Lucas passed out, Johnathan and nancy looking at a bug on the ceiling like it just painted the mona lisa, will trying to set up a dnd campaign, using forks and spoons as characters, Robin biting her fist and beet red, and max and el blinking at you both “aww thanks guys bye!! Shoo!” You quickly pushed them out of your house

“well.. atleast we have cake now?” Chrissy giggled “atleast i get to put on on your body and lick it off you” you purred in her ear.

2. (Modern!au) •you, Robin, Eddie, Steve and Nancy were playing games

“any last words, edward joseph munson?” “Yeah. MOMMY-“ he screeched just as he was getting killed, leaving you and the others dying of laughter “mommy!?” Steve wheezed and slammed his head down on his keyboard.

As he respawned, you came closer to his character “thats ma’am to you, naughty boy” you made a ‘tsk’ sound as he choked on his water “i um.. ive gotta *cough* go..” Eddie sounded very flustered through his mic, only sending everyones giggles further “what did you say to him, y/n!?” “Why me?!” There was a sudden knocking on your door, causing you to get up and look through the window. It was Eddie. “Bitch Eddies here. I gotta go” you left before anyone could protest

‘suck his dick extra hard for me y/n❤️!!’ Steve texted you, but you were too busy to check. (Get it lmao ahaha) (why am i so childish)

3. •steve walks in on you searching up lesbians wooo

“y/n?” Steve entered the room un announced, leaving you to quickly close the tab you were looking at and turn around, trying to act cool “yep?” “Oh my god!” Steve ran out of the room

“steve dont tell anyone i sweartogod ill kill everyone you love” “im not gonna tell anyone! I just..mayknowagirlwhosinterestedinyou” “well IM not interested, i already know someone whos caught my eye” you crossed your arms and puffed out your chest “oh yeah, who?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

“….ᴿᵒᵇᶦⁿ…..” Steve squealed and threw his arms around “ugh im litterally cupid. Im gonna call her right now and you’ll awnser.” He typed in robins number, much to your protests “Buckley residence, Robin speaking” “hi….” “Oh! Y/n h-hi, hey, whats up?” You giggled at her nervousness “uh.. so.. do you wanna hang out with me? As a date..?” You silently banged your head on the wall, thinking of 20 different ways that couldve been way smoother.

after a long hard 30 seconds she responded “y-yeah! Sure.. um ill pick you up at around 8:00?” “Sure” you agreed with a smile and hung up, squealing.

you and steve joint hands and started dancing around the room “sooo.. are we gonna talk about you searching up lesbians..?” “No.”

#vals works🕸 #eddie munson #stranger things x y/n #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x you #robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #chrissy stranger things #chrissy wake uuuup #chrissy cunningham #stranger things s04 #I love dominating men and women<3

[primoresplendens]

This picture though I sweartogod

Find in the picture challenge:

Oswald kite

Who's flying it

Oswald himself

Taneli

Octo-Charles

Rouin

Dhurahan

Brandon and Raligon

What shape are Brandon's soul vessels in

#lord of heroes #loh

[kidfoundonstreets]

i think peopel should propose with liek plastic rings they win in claw machines

SO TRUE MADIDIE!!! AND PLUS TIELL BE SO MUCH BETETR BECUASE ITS LIKE AFTER YOU WIN IT THERES BARLEYT ANY MOENY INVOLVED AND PLSYU U ACTUALLY WON IT WITH THE PAIN OF A CLAW MACHINE?? ?i sweartogod youre a fuckigng gneius hugs usoahrd u give ur evil gf a claw machine ring and susdnely youre a malewife and missio nis accomplsihed be like him

[medkiss]

sweartogod im gonna end up selfshipping w all the bots from stray. mutuals you got me

#ill make a seperate entry on my carrd for them too.... they all get tags bc theyre all special :] #🐇.txt

[venndaai]

OK this is fully insane but I noticed your tag reference to Laerryn/Patia pining and I am sort of dying to know whether there was an original post for that? Because sweartogod I thought it was just me. (the possible inherent thingy of being wizard besties w/benefits and the fact that it doesn't become anything heavier doesn't mean you'd burn the world for each other any Less, it just means one day she falls asstits in love with the last person you'd expect and oh. that's what that looks like.)?

only this i'm afraid! i need to talk about them more they do make me crazy to think about for sure. i agree i think of them as friends w benefits who never become anything more but i think they would have were it not for patia's distance from everyone and her prioritizing of avalir. laerryn needs things patia can't give her so patia can only watch as she falls for someone who's going to break her heart, by dying in a few short decades if by nothing else

#replies #anonymous #critrole blogging #exu calamity #laerryn coramar seelie #patia por'co

[thybeholder]

knock a bitch out ta teach ha a lesson sweartogod icantgobacknforth with none of you Peasants

made a mill at 20 years old, you never would guessed it

how you hatin n you dead broke? that shit is Depressin

i’m Way Too Cold, my diamonds baguetted

could never compete with a soul, im not that invested

yea yo hoe gon do what she told, she don’t wanna test me

My Momma a beat a bitch up, that shit is genetic!

#mercy.txt

[quadrepedd]

Joe Robux is a lizard man, and I have proof

Joe roban in a lizard man and I have proof! When I was walking outside my house last week, I saw a man who seemed like Joe binging watch by my houseee, and he was a LIZARD MAN! THIS IS WHAT THE LIBERALS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW!!! NO POMEGRANTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There will be NO liberal games for my little Johan Jr.! My sweet sweet, lovely Johan Jr.... I gave him a gun for his birthday last week! He loved it! AND THAT IS WHAT YOU GET YOUR CHILD, NOT UNDERTALE OR 5G GOAT VACININE! THIS IS WHY THE WORLD IS GOING TO SHIT!!! I SWEARTOGOD THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS AND I WILL NOT LET THIS BE AROUND MY CHILD!!

[backroombuzz]

Joe Biden's Tells War Story Swears 'My Word It's God's Truth' and... He Lied!

In Joe Biden's 'I swear it's true' story, Clueless Joe only got wrong the Who, What, When, Where and How... Other than that he was spot on!

Read the full article

#Afghanistan #Army #Biden #Biden2020 #BronzeStar #CluelessJoe #Fabricated #GAFFE #GodsTruth #JoeBiden #Lies #Navy #SilverStar #SwearToGod #Truth #VP.Obama