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thepaperpanda · 3 years

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DEATH STRANDING CHRISTMAS

Summary: It's Christmas time and love is in the air. What will happen when everyone will be reunited that day?

Warnings: None

Words: 6637

Authors: Cass & Rouge

A/N: Merry Christmas! Wishing you all the happiness your holiday can hold!

Allured by the peace and quietness and the scent of freshly baked Christmas cake coming from a canteen, you took your lingering gaze off of the enormous Christmas tree adorned with glistening ornaments and glowing fairy lights draped around it that stood in the middle of the huge chamber that was usually serving as a dayroom.

As the evening sky faded away, the pink and orange hues were replaced with dark shades of blue.

The festively designed decorations, illuminated with blinking Christmas lights, vibrant ornaments and brightly colored signs, were lined up along either side of the corridor.

As you entered the canteen, the loud, spirited laughter of people could be heard over the continuous chatter surrounding the vivacious atmosphere; it brought a wide smile to your lips.

It's been a great time without Christmas, and you truly couldn't understand how it was possible that no one has ever tried to bring the magnificent spirit of Christmas back.

This year it'll be different, you told yourself half a month prior when you visited Die-Hardman with a plan for Christmas arrangements.

In the canteen you made sure that everything was going well.

There it was, as clear as the sky on a scorching summer day, that particular aroma, that perfect blend of spicy and sweet - gingerbreads were baked.

Die-Hardman stepped into the canteen as well, he wore his best suit and tie; he looked as festive as if this were a normal family reunion. "Y/N," he nodded at you a little. "As I can see, everything's in place, my sincere congratulations, the truth is I didn't think you'll be able to set all this."

With a grin playing in the corners of your lips you gave the bid back. "Yes, sir, apparently I made everything, with the little help of Sam who, just between us, wasn't a fan of the idea though."

"Little help? I had to bring the whole tree in, you think it was easy?," Sam walked in looking up at the Christmas tree, while holding his BB pod. "Not to mention I had to run to get all of the trinkets you placed on that poor tree. What is it for anyway?"

"Y/N found old records about Christmas. She decided to organize some on her own, for us all," Dead man explained. "I think she did it nicely. Like in some old photos."

"Yeah, sure." Sam muttered. "At least it looks like Lou likes it."

"Of course I did nicely! I did my best!," You claimed happily and Die-Hardman chuckled deeply.

"So... You did all of that for five of us? Kinda excessive if you ask me," Sam said and walked closer to the tree to show colorful light to Lou.

"Not only for five, there will be more. That's what Y/N promised, isn't it Y/N?," Deadman said looking at you.

You nodded and walked to him. He wore a sweatshirt with reindeer dressed in a Christmas hat. "Correct. Also let me tell ya that I love your sweatshirt!"

Die-Hardman led everyone closer to the Christmas tree. "Okay, I hope that rest will join us…” His sentence was cut off by Cliff who appeared out of nowhere.

He was having a red hat with pompom and was dressed like Santa Claus. "Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas everyone! Hope I didn't get late! My men, it took them too much time to get dressed properly!," He chuckled and few of his comrades appeared right behind him. This time they weren't having rifles with them but a lot of bags with presents wrapped in colorful paper.

Sam blinked a few times, he turned to you. "How... How did you do that?," He asked quietly.

"We are here finally!," Mama said happily as she and Lockne joined the party. Both sisters dressed in colors perfect for christmas. "Mama couldn't find her glasses," Lockne added.

You hugged them both. "It's so good to see you again!," You claimed and clapped your hands.

Soon, there was a cracking sound and Amelie joined you. As always she wore a red, fitted dress and she was holding a few packages in her hands. She put them under the Christmas tree and gave a smile to Sam. "Merry Christmas, Sam. Merry Christmas to everyone!"

Sam gave a flat smile and nodded. "Merry Christmas, Amelie," he said, turning Lou to all the guests. "Look how many people are here."

Another cracking sound filled the room and Fragile showed up. "Merry Christmas to everyone?"

"It looks like your plan worked out perfectly, Y/N. How did you do that?," Deadman asked. "It's a lot of people in one place."

"I messaged everyone, and if it comes to Amelie, let's just skip this though," you chuckled. "I asked them to come, and I told them that we can't simply give upon our traditions just because Death Stranding is on. They agreed," you replied.

After a few minutes the door to the dayroom slid open and Heartman entered with dancing moves. "Hey, guys! Oh, Mama! Good to see you! Magnificent! Wow! You also have a Christmas tree! And decorations! Hmm, am I correct?! Is this true?! Do I sense gingerbreads?!," He almost sang.

"Someone had too much Christmas, maybe it wasn't a good idea to pull him out of the lab... His heart... Ya know the deal, right?," Sam asked you quietly with a frown.

"Sam grumpy as ever," Fragile said, walking up to the two of you. "This was an amazing idea Y/N. Oh! Sam I have gift for little one."

Sam raised his eyebrow and handed the pod to Fragile. "Hi there, Lou. Merry Christmas," she said before pulling out a little sweater and putting it around the pod. "Oh! Look at this!"

"Lou looks like a little candy! How cute is that!," You clapped hands and walked to Heartman to place a brief kiss to his cheek as a greeting. "Hey there handsome, I'm so glad you've accepted my invitation."

"How could I not?," he chuckled. "For this special occasion I turned the AED off."

"Let's just hope he won't suddenly drop dead during the supper... Or whatever Y/N prepared," Sam said and looked at the pod in Fragile hands.

She only giggled and raised the pod. "Cliff! What do you think? It's cute, right?"

Both Mama and Lockne let out a loud aww sound at the sight of BB wearing the sweater.

"So Y/N. You are the head of this whole thing. What should we do now, the truth is not everyone knows what to do during Christmas," Deadman said, looking around.

Cliff approached Fragile who held Lou and tapped the glass with his finger. "Hey, BB, you're the cutest BB of all time!"

"Okay, guys!," You whistled loudly to get their attention. "First, I want to say something," you announced happily. "I'm so glad to see you all here, in this place. It has a very symbolic meaning to me, we're one, just like our beautiful country will be when Sam will finish connecting all cities to the chiral network," you smiled at them, tugging on the dress you wore. "It means a lot as we all are one. We are one in our mutual experiences, in our closeness and understanding..."

You slipped your glance along everyone in the room. "Merry Christmas! You can have a snack, they're on the table," you nodded in the direction of the table where a lot of dishes were awaiting to be consumed, including huge roasted turkey. "Later, after dinner, we will have a very important encounter with Santa Claus!," You winked at Cliff who nodded slightly.

A loud cracking sound filled the room. "HELLO THERE BRIDGES! Merry fucking Christmas, guys!," Higgs yelled loudly, not bothered by all the looks he got. "Why do you look at me like that? Oh yes, yes, I know. I should bring a gift but I didn't have enough parts to build another nuke," he rolled his eyes, waving his hand around.

You shook your head as Heartman instinctively shielded you with his body. "Who is he?," You asked with curiosity in your tone.

"That's Higgs. The man who blew a few cities out of America's map," Heartman informed you quietly.

Amelie put hands to her hips. "I wasn't aware you're going to be here as well, Higgs," she almost snorted.

Die-Hardman gave the newcomer a mean glance. "Seriously? Even on such a day you need to destroy everything?"

Meantime, your glance was still on the man in the hood.

"Wooooooow, I feel so welcomed here," Higgs said, removing his hood off his head. "I destroy stuff, it's just my thing but I see something else I can destroy."

Higgs suddenly vanished and then appeared right behind you.

"Well, well, well! What do we have here? Thanks, heartboy," he said picking you up to take a look at you. "Ain't ya a beauty that is worth to be taken under the mistletoe?"

Sam facepalmed. "There is no day with break."

You blinked but being taken completely aback by stranger's action, you had to wrap arms around his neck to support yourself. "Uhm, hi there, sir. Can you consider putting me down though? I feel pretty intimidated," you whispered, your eyes fixed on his, and dear Beach, his eyes were so magnetising!

Amelie sighed. "It's Christmas after all, guys. I think we should let him stay. In such a time no one should be alone."

Die-Hardman agreed with the lady in red. "Amelie's right."

Sam blinked. "Seriously? He nuked two cities and planned to nuke the third one. “You can't be serious!"

Higgs giggled, patting your hips. "Being intimidating is my second name, sugar," he pretended to think about your request. "Well I don't know. I love little sweet girls like you, maybe I will take you as my gift."

"To be fair, director, Higgs is a highly dangerous man. He proved this many times," Deadman added.

"I like this guy. He makes me blush," Higgs said and then looked at you. "I think I may have a gift for you, sugar,” he added before giving you a golden mask.

You took it in hand and fitted it to your face. "Gangsta!," You chuckled and ran to the nearest mirror to have a look. "Ha! This is so cool!"

You waited for him to approach you. "My name's Y/N. And you're Higgs, that's what Heartman told me."

Heartman looked after you and blinked. "She's impossible. Jumping like a puppy but this is what happens when a young girl is alone for too long, am I right, Mama?"

Amelie walked to Deadman and put hand on his shoulder. "Trust me. I know what he did but maybe by showing him kindness we'll get more than by following his game."

Die-Hardman cleared his throat. "Okay. Let's take the seats and have a meal. This is a special day, everyone deserves kindness, just like Amelie said."

Cliff took BB from Sam and set it on the chair right next to him. "Can someone pass me the knife? I forgot my army knife and someone has to cut the turkey!"

BB rolled in the pod and giggled waving at Sam.

Mama and her sister frowned looking at Heartman.

"What was that supposed to mean?," Mama asked, offended.

"Yes, what was that supposed to mean?," Lockne repeated after her sister.

Deadman nodded at Amelie's comment. "Maybe you are right."

"Oh! I have a knife, army-man!," Higgs said loudly, presenting his own knife. "I never leave it. Maybe you should learn this too," he chuckled before being pulled away by Fragile.

"You better behave if you want to stay here. Be normal for one single day," she growled and Higgs nodded. "Okay! Okay! Noted! I wouldn't dear to fuck up Y/N's day. I bet she worked her ass off for all of this."

You took your seat at the table, right between Sam and Fragile.

Cliff took the golden knife from Higgs' hands, offering the tall man a suspicious glance. "I hope you're not the guy who's bothering my son and Lou. Otherwise, I'd have to kill you," he informed with a cold grimace in his face which quickly vanished and was replaced by a grin. "Okay! Who wants the chicken?! Hey!," He got up and glanced at his comrades who were trying to sneak to the tree and gifts located under. "Behave! Get back to the table! No turkey, no presents! For fuck's sake, I asked you all to behave! How many times did we train the entire thing?!"

One of the army men quickly got back to the table. "Uhm, few," he admitted and took the helmet off, placing it on the polished floor.

"And what did I say?," Cliff asked while cutting the turkey.

"We get in, we greet living beings, we have a meal, we behave, we get presents and we have a party."

Heartman laughed loudly. "Cliff, I have to say you're having a huge authority among them. What a situation!"

Amelie offered everyone a grin. "Does anyone want some potatoes?"

Higgs sat right next to Sam and gave Cliff an innocent smile.

"Oh no, Mr Sam's dad. I am a good boy, my twin brother bothers Sam. Besides, Sam bothers me too! He keeps destroying my plans! And BTs!," He whimpered dramatically.

Sam only rolled his eyes and moved a little closer to you to get away from the terrorist.

"I’ve seen them before yet they still freak the fuck out of me," he whispered to you, looking at the soldiers.

"I can say the same…," Fragile said quietly

"I am so surprised they are so…," Mama said, thinking about the right word.

"Obedient," Lockne added quickly. “We expected them to be... How to name it?"

"Creatures of chaos," Mama finished.

You smiled at Sam and quickly turned head to face Lockne and Mama. "It's called discipline, right, Mr Unger?"

Cliff offered you a bright grin. "The girl's smart. I like her. If my son wouldn't have this phobia of his, I bet he would take a chance on you."

BB rolled in the pod.

Amelie chuckled and covered her lips with a curled hand. "Actually, Cliff, Sam would be her father if he made an effort..."

Heartman laughed loudly before he stopped his outburst, he also raised his thumb up. "And 20 likes go to Lady Strand! What a beautiful, honest summary!"

Higgs laughed and patted Sam's back. "Well! Ya know guys, some men like younger girls. Honestly I would love to get Y/N in my hands. To pin her down and just…," Higgs didn't finish his sentence because he got smacked on the back of the head by Fragile.

"Behave," she growled after getting back in her seat.

"To be fair, since we got on that topic. I don't think the age difference should be a taboo any longer," Deadman said before digging into his meal. "World is shattered, we should do what we can to make sure humanity doesn't die. Of course while keeping some moral boundaries."

"Do we really have to talk about such stuff now?," Sam groaned, rolling his eyes. "I don't like this topic."

"Oh, why? Because you can't get laid, Sammy boy?," Higgs almost sang, teasing Sam.

Cliff rose from his seat and threw a glance to Higgs who quickly shut his mouth. "That's way better," Cliff said and pretended that he rose only to get the corn salad.

Die-Hardman took his mask off and started eating the turkey that Cliff handled to him. "I need to agree with Deadman. Humanity is on the edge of destruction and extinction..."

"... Thanks to terrorists like Higgs," Heartman added, his eyes fixed on the uninvited guest.

"That's not what I meant... However you're not wrong on this," Die-Hardman agreed. "What I meant is that we should take care of reproduction, to make sure that the human race will survive and will be able to rebuild our world. To make it great again."

You blushed hearing Higgs' words about him liking younger girls, so to hide it you grabbed the glass and drank the wine that was poured by Mama.

Amelie nodded as she was cutting her piece of turkey into little slices. "We all are sober yet the topics are getting interesting already. I'm curious what will be next."

BB swam a little and moved closer to Sam.

"Oh, BB, granddaddy is here too, look, look," Clifford waved hand to get Lou's attention and then he put the Santa Claus hat on, playing with the pompon. "Look, little one! Granddad is Santa Claus!"

"To be fair, Y/N and Sam would look cute together. Imagine the cute kids they would have!" Mama said excited and Lockne nodded eagerly. "I want to be an aunt!"

Fragile noticed your red face and smiled gently rubbing your shoulder. "It's okay Y/N. Family is like this. They will talk and then they will stop."

Higgs frowned looking at Heartman. "Hey! Heart boy! I don't see the world getting better thanks to science boys like you," he growled resting his elbow on Sam's shoulder.

Sam quickly pushed it off his shoulder with an annoyed sound.

Higgs rolled his eyes before digging into his food. "Oh, fucking shit! This shit is good! Fucking better than a pizza! Oh! By the way, Sam! Lately you started to bring it cold. I don't like it."

Sam let out a loud sigh. "Then start to move your ass. You can jump and grab it yourself."

"Naaah! Making you visit me is more fun!," Higgs giggled.

You were covered in a blush after Mama and Lockne's words. You tugged on Sam's sleeve. "I swear, this is my first and last Christmas Eve ever."

You also giggled hearing complaints made by Higgs.

Heartman got up to get another piece of mashed potatoes. "To your information, Higgs, we build, not destroy, and that's the difference you'll never understand, you little devil's spawn."

Clifford clapped his hands. "Come on, guys, eat, eat or we won't get to presents this year!"

Die-Hardman smiled at his friend. "It's good to see you among us, Clifford."

Unger grinned and turned head to you. "Hey, Y/N, what drinks do we have except wine? I don't say it's bad but as for a real man, like me or my son, we could have something stronger. Cognac or whiskey."

Heartman chuckled. "You can always get Monster with vodka. Pretty dangerous mix but tasty. Tried a few times."

Sam chuckled at your comment. "At least next year I will have less work to do," he joked.

"Now I know why your heart is so fucked up. Since you drink such a mixes," Higgs commented before licking his plate completely clean. "I ask for more!"

Lockne, Mama and Fragile followed Cliff's order and started to eat as well.

"Well... For me some beer is enough," Sam said checking on Lou.

"I'll go get the drinks," you offered and politely excused yourself before getting off the table.

Heartman quickly got up too. "I'll help Y/N."

Amelie offered mashed potatoes to Higgs. "You're pretty hungry, aren't you?"

"Hell fucking yeah I am! Sitting in the bunker or camp and eating cold pizza ain't easy, sweetheart," Highs nodded and started to eat as soon as he got more food on his plate.

"Such a diet isn't good. You should eat more healthy stuff," Deadman said.

Higgs only shrugged, being too busy with his food.

Fragile sighed and shook her head. "No manners. You should spend some time with Clif to learn something, Higgs."

"Oh, I'd gladly train you, young man," Clifford said. "With me above you, you'd be running smoothly."

"I'm sorry, I know that thing I'll say is totally wrong but I imagined some other things, Clifford. With Monaghan beneath... Oh, dear God, forgive me for I have sinned," Heartman added before he left the room with you.

Die-Hardman spat himself with the wine he was drinking.

BB started chuckling.

Amelie blinked and facepalmed. "Maybe extinction is not a bad idea?"

Meantime, you and Heartman were in the pantry, collecting bottles of alcohol and cans of Monster and beer.

"I think that this little party is great, Y/N," Heartman stated. "Thank you for this opportunity of having some substitute for normal life, it's been a while since I felt truly happy," his voice broke a little, so you put the bottle of Jack Daniels and simply gave him a bear hug.

Sam choked on his food.

Mama and Lockne laughed loudly. "Not to offend anyone, that would be something nice to watch," Lockne said with a giggle.

Higgs hummed. "Sorry, ladies! I am more of a top but if any of you are interested, I am single as a pringle and ready to mingle. Just I am not into man, sorry, Mr Sam's papa."

Sam blinked, taking in what just happened and after a moment he groaned. It was a bit too much for him.

Soon, you and Heartman returned. You walked to Cliff and handed him a bottle of whiskey.

Heartman poured some vodka to everyone who wanted and handled Sam a can of beer.

"So, Y/N, are you enjoying the fest you threw?," Amelie asked with her soft glance on you.

"Yes, I do, even if I cringe from time to time, I think it's cute to have you all in one place."

You then turned to Fragile. "Hey, do you know something more about that Higgs guy who got here on blackballed? I need to think about something for him. I prepared gifts for everyone but him. I didn't expect anyone else to join," you whispered leaning to the woman.

Die-Hardman looked at Mama. "How is your research? Did you fix Sam's qupid?"

Mama nodded. "We did actually. Everything should be more than good once he is out again."

"It wasn't a hard fix. Just a few updates and it's working perfectly again," Lockne said before taking a sip of her wine.

"Uuuu! Smart ladies! I like it!," Higgs nudged Sam with elbow. "I need to get to know them. Twins are like two in one deal!"

"I am not doing that," Sam muttered with a frown.

Fragile looked at you. "Oh trust me, I know him a bit too much. He shouldn't get a gift for being a bad person," Fragile stated quietly.

"Yeah, I understand, but it will be in a bad tone to not gift one person... Ok, I'll think of something."

An hour passed on many talks, the atmosphere was filled with laughter.

"Dears, did anyone see Cliff?," Die-Hardman asked as he spotted his friend was missing.

You also vanished from the room.

BB was already sleeping and Amelie was sitting with Heartman, chatting like there was no tomorrow.

"I think Y/N took him to the other room," Sam said, looking at sleeping Lou.

"Maybe she decided to extend the human kind with him!," Higgs said quickly. "Since his son didn't want her, daddy decided to try it. I can't blame her," he shrugged.

"Just shut your mouth, Higgs," Sam growled.

Higgs giggled and continued to drink his beer.

"Hey, wait a minute, Lockne and Mama are gone, too," Heartman said as he was pulled from deep conversation with Amelie.

"Foursome?," Higgs purred while Sam facepalmed together with Fragile.

"Y/N probably planned something special. She prepared Christmas in smaller details," Deadman nodded his head a little. "The food was great."

"That's true!," Sam added.

Suddenly, the music came out of speakers.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

"HO-HO-HO!," The main door slid open and Clifford dressed as Santa Claus entered the room. He was having a huge bag thrown over his shoulder, his hat with pompom was tilted slightly.

His four comrades were having reindeer hats on.

You, Lockne and Mama entered the room right behind him, all three of you dressed in white, short dresses with wings made of silky material and snowflake patterns on your dresses, rocking to the music.

"Come here, children! I hope you all were good for the last year, ho-ho-ho!," Clifford took a seat in a huge armchair you borrowed from Die-Hardman. "It's time for presents!"

"So maybe Lou first, he is the youngest one, huh? What do you say?," Sam said softly, tapping on the glass gently to wake up the BB.

"I can go a second round! I am the most important bad guy here," Higgs said full of pride.

"Today my little, beautiful helpers will set the order, ho-ho-ho!," Clifford laughed deeply.

In the tact of music, Mama danced toward Sam and picked the pod with Lou from him.

"So, young gentleman, I know you've been a good, little bean, so I need to get inside my bag of presents to get yours! Aha! I have it!," Clifford pulled a new pod out, with the ribbon wrapped around it. "More space for dance, huh?"

Meantime, the song ended and the next one was on.

I sing this song

To pass the time away

Driving in my car

Driving home for Christmas

"Deadman for sure will move you into it as soon as possible. You should like it," Mama said with a smile.

"And Now back to papa," Lockne took BB and his gift to bring them back to Sam.

"Me now!," Higgs got up from his place and sat on Cliff's laps.

"So! Mr Santa-Sam's dad, what do you have for me, huh?," He smiled. "I was the best fucking boy the whole year!"

Cliff gently nudged Higgs' side to make him get off his lap. Clifford rubbed his long, white, fake beard. "We all know you've been the baddest but thankfully the beautiful lady over there," he pointed at you, "decided that you also deserved the gift. Let me find it in my bag of miracles."

Clifford reached into his bag and pulled the nicely wrapped box, he handled it to Monaghan. "Merry fucking Christmas, asshole."

It was nothing but a book about Egyptian mythology and a handmade cloak that was originally meant to be for Heartman.

"Thank you fucking much!," Higgs said excited and quickly returned to his seat to look at the stuff he got. He already loved them.

"So? Who's next... Maybe our Director." Mama said and walked to Die-hardman. "C'mon. Everyone gets something today."

Die-Hardman chuckled but let the lady scientist lead him to Clifford.

"And you!," Fake Santa Claus said, "You've been good, too. Here's your gift, merry Christmas!"

Die-Hardman was gifted with the themed tie with reindeers and with a polishing paste.

"It's for your mask, so it will always look classy," you smiled at him and as he returned to his seat, you walked to Heartman and grabbed him by palm.

"Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas, Heartman!," Clifford grinned widely and gave the man a heart-shaped box, in which Heartman found a pair of gloves with heart motiv on each and a CD with classical music.

"Thank you, Y/N," he smiled brightly at you and kissed your cheek. "It's the best gift."

Sam looked at Fragile. "Go on. I am sure Santa also got something for you."

Woman nodded and got up from her seat to walk closer to Santa. "Well, I was a good girl. I think at least. I tried," Fragile said slowly.

"Dear Fragile, and your gift is in my bag, that's for sure! Just be patient as the old man will find it!," Clifford chuckled and soon gifted the woman with a new umbrella with Fragile logo.

Then it was time for Deadman who got new glasses.

Amelie was gifted with a golden necklace that fit her dress perfectly.

Lockne and Mama also got the present, it was a little blanket with an admixture of chiral matter. "This will help your sweet daughter to sleep in a cradle, she won't be drifting up under the ceiling," you smiled at them. "It was my project with Heartman's execution," you explained.

Clifford got new night-vision goggles.

In the end, Sam was gifted with a new suit.

Everyone was enjoying their gifts, talking about them and enjoying whatever time left.

"Y/N?," Sam looked at you. "What with your gift? Everyone got something and you?," He frowned.

"Yeah! Exactly! Where is the gift for our beautiful host?," Higgs looked at you over Sam's shoulder, he was already wearing the new cape.

"My gift is everywhere. It's the atmosphere you all created and this is more than I could dream about. My heart's beating faster when I see you enjoy the meals, the gifts," you smiled at Sam and Higgs.

Higgs sighed placing his chin on Sam's shoulder. "Isn't she adorable! But it's not fair. You did so much."

"I hate to say that but Higgs is right," Sam sighed.

"I need to agree with both of them. You did so much, in such a short time. You gathered all of us here," Deadman added. "Who else agree?"

All you could do was to smile at everyone. "I mean it, guys. I don't need gifts. You all are the greatest gift to me."

Heartman walked to you from behind. "We kinda predicted you will think of everyone but yourself. So here's the gift from us," he handed you a box.

Unwrapping it with shaking hands, you felt the heart racing in your chest. In the box you found a notebook in a leather cover and a few pencils.

"We've heard you like to draw," Die-Hardman smiled.

"Guys... Thank you! So much!!," You cried quietly while hugging the gift to your chest.

"We are in this together, Y/N. If everyone gets a gift it means you get one too," Sam shrugged Higgs off earning a groan from Monaghan.

Party continued.

People talked and laughed, simply enjoyed the company, while finishing whatever food left.

Die-Hardman was having so much fun that now he was dancing with Lockne to one of the christmas songs.

Higgs was sitting in his seat looking through the book you gave him. It's not like he had people to interact with here.

You definitely had too many drinks. After almost half an hour of dancing with Heartman, you had to rest at the table. You flopped on the first free seat which was the place next to America's most wanted terrorist. You clicked your high heels off and groaned. "How much I hate these shoes!," You muttered while stretching like a cat.

"Why did you put them on? If they are uncomfortable just never wear them again," Higgs shrugged. "End of the problem."

You blinked at the comment and chuckled. "Fair point though. You'll never understand this though as you're the man and I'm the woman. Our brains are different," you hiccuped.

"I know when to stop drinking. You'll never understand this though as you're the woman and I am the man. Our brains are different," He giggled, teasing you.

You laughed at his comment; this man was about to be a death of yours.

You got up from your chair and reached out to him. "Hey, vamos a bailar!," You asked him with a little smile dancing in the corners of your mouth. "Pretty please?"

"No idea what you’ve just said but yea, sure, I agree on anything, sugar," Higgs said, returning a smile. "Lead the way."

You grabbed his palm firmly, without hesitation, and led him right into the dancefloor which was just the free space on the floor, next to the Christmas tree.

Heartman followed you with a frown. "I don't like it," he whispered to Fragile.

You climbed on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around a man's neck, both to get a bit intimidated and to support yourself from falling.

Fragile looked at you and Higgs, she shrugged.

"Since we have Death Stranding free day, let them enjoy it. After it's over, they will be mortal enemies again," she said and smiled. "Why? Are you jealous?"

Higgs chuckled. "Holy me, you are so small when I keep you close! I fucking love it."

Heartman blushed a little, rolled his eyes and lowered his thumb, taking 5 likes from Fragile before he moved aways with dancing moves, to join Mama.

You chuckled nervously at Higgs comment. "Thanks, I take it as a compliment," you simply rested your forehead against his chest.

She only laughed and nodded. "Thank you for confirming this, Heartman!," Fragile said a bit louder.

Higgs wrapped arms around your waist and nodded. "Oh yes, you indeed should take it as a compliment. Maybe I really should kidnap you as my christmas gift."

You giggled at his words while rocking into the rhythm of the music with him. "Maybe," you teased. "But I think that Sam and his dad would twist your neck after."

You suddenly raised a head to look at him, and you noticed a mistletoe above his head.

Higgs thought, looking at both men before his gaze returned to you. "Hmm... I honestly think it would be worth it," he noticed that you looked up and followed you. "Oh, fucking finally!,” Higgs said excited and pressed his lips against yours in a messy kiss.

You blinked when his lips crushed on yours but soon closed your eyes and enjoyed the kiss. You take the attempt to dominate him in the kiss but you fail so finally you give up your tries and simply wrap your arms around his neck.

Higgs pulled way after a moment and winked at you.

He reached up to take a small part of the mistletoe and then sneaked to Sam.

"Oh! Sammy boy!," Higgs sang.

Sam sighed deeply and turned to look at him. "What?," He frowned, seeing the mistletoe. "You kidding?"

Higgs gave him a wide smile and suddenly licked Sam's nose, making the other man froze.

Like nothing ever happened Higgs returned to you.

You started laughing hysterically which resulted in you losing the balance and almost falling on the floor, thankfully Higgs was faster and caught you in his arms.

Clifford spat all the whiskey he was about to swallow on Die-Hardman's shirt.

Heartman turned head around to see what happened but he lost his balance and fell on Lockne who spilled her wine right onto the electronic device on his chest.

Heartman's AED turned on and kicked him with an electric glitch, causing him to die on the spot.

"Higgs, you killed Heartman!," Amelie screamed.

"Nooot first and not the last death!" Higgs said with a shrug before kissing your lips quickly. "It's getting late and I have nukes to build! See you maybe next year!" He winked at you before vanishing.

As you lost Higgs as your frame, you fell right onto the floor and rolled on your back, still laughing.

"Or maybe not! It can wait!," Higgs said after returning. "Besides I didn't take my gifts."

"You really need to turn everything upside down?," Sam sighed, shaking his head.

"That's my job!," Higgs shrugged. "Who wants a drink?!"

You raised your hand up, still laying on the floor. You discovered it was a pretty comfortable place to rest. Or maybe you were just too drunk?

After 3 minutes another electric shock made Heartman's heart work properly again, and the man woke up, sitting on the floor. "What the fuck!"

Clifford was helping Die-Hardman to clean his shirt. "Monaghan! Stop being a douche-bag to everyone! If you won't listen, I'll have to shoot you," he warned, almost growling.

Amelie helped Heartman back on his feet. "You okay?"

"Yes, it's fine."

BB started crying.

Higgs quickly helped you up and smiled. "Oh, c'mon, Clifford! Everyone is well and alive. Even the heart boi. Practically, I did nothing wrong," he shrugged.

Sam let out a deep sigh. "It's Higgs after all. What else we can expect."

Higgs agreed with Sam, hugging you tightly.

You felt squeezed by his arms. "Can't... Breathe...," you whispered quietly hoping for him to lose his grasp.

Heartman smoothened his suit. "I almost forgot! I borrowed a camera from my friend's geologist. I want to take a picture of our pack, except you," he pointed his index finger at Higgs.

"Heartman, let him. He spent the entire evening with us, one photo won't affect anyone," Amelie nudged the man's chest.

"I fucking love photos!," Higgs jumped happily. "The host should have the honor of setting us for a photo!," He said excitedly.

You smiled at Higgs and squeezed his palm that you were still holding. "Okay, fellas. Clifford and Mama, you two go on left. Yes, just like that. Amelie, you with Fragile and Sam can take a seat on the couch."

"Sam, maybe you can be in the middle?," Amelie smiled at her stepbrother.

You pecked your lips as you were thinking. "Okay, Die-Hardman, would you be so kind to take a seat here, on the pouffe? Yes, just like that, thank you. Deadman, you can take our lovely Lou and stand next to the pouffe a little. Hmmm, and Heartman, my lovely friend, you can stand behind Die-Hardman. That's it! Perfect! Lockne, can you stand right next to your sister?"

Sam wasn't too happy he wasn't holding Lou but nodding he followed your little orders.

Mama and Lockne stood exactly where you wanted them, just like a Deadman.

"I see a perfect place for myself!," Higgs claimed excitedly and lied down on the floor. He turned on his side and propped up his head on a hand. "Perfect!"

You facepalmed a little but chuckled at the villain's idea. "Actually, you fit there perfectly, Higgs!"

You quickly set the camera on the shelf and made sure to turn the timer on, then you quickly ran to take a seat next to the Die-Hardman.

The flash lit the room and the picture was taken.

"Cool! Can I get one? I will have a nice souvenir from that nice day," Higgs asked from the floor. "I had so much fun!"

"Yes, of course you can!," You smiled at him and ran to the camera to set it again to take a second pic.

When the dawn was about to knock at the door, and when almost everyone was sleeping in weird positions where they could, you led Higgs to the exit. "I never thought I'd have so much fun with them all. And, though I didn't expect you, I'm grateful you came," you smiled at him and handled him his gifts to make sure he won't forget to take them along. "I put the picture into the book."

Higgs nodded, taking the book.

"Yeah, It was fucking fun. I enjoyed it," He sighed, looking at the gift from you. "Too bad that as soon as I leave we'll become a mortal enemies again,"

"Maybe you'll but not to me," assuring him, you grabbed his palm and squeezed it lightly. "No matter what you'd do, you gained a friend," you smiled.

Higgs took your palm and kissed the top of it. "Thank you, sugar. I will remember that."

"Take care of yourself as we need to meet next year for another Christmas party," you chuckled softly and blushed a bit at his sudden gesture.

Then, like he was one of the good guys, you wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him. "Please, stay safe and see you in a year. Remember, you have to pop up! No excuse as it won't feel like Christmas without you."

Higgs hugged you, being totally confused but he nodded with a soft chuckle.

"Okay, I will try my best. See you in a year," He slowly pulled away and winked at you before vanishing.

You smiled to yourself while observing the flipped rainbow on the sky and hearing the thunder.

Despite your efforts, the Death Stranding still was on.

#sam porter bridges #higgs monaghan #clifford unger #heartman #mama #lockne #die-hardman #deadman #amelie strand #sam porter bridges x reader #heartman x reader #higgs monaghan x reader #death stranding #higgs monaghan fic #sam porter bridges fic

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lovestereo · 3 years

Note

All anonymous single songs requested between September and December 2020 under the cut. Sorted alphabetically by artist's first name from A to Z.

The askbox, along with the anonymous option, will open again soon. Please read my updated FAQ before making a request in the future.

Abhi Dijon - Distant Love

Adeline - Twilight

Ace Tee

ALEXA - Villain, Burn Out, Kitty Cat

Aluna - Envious, You Know You Like It

Alvaro Diaz - Lo Que Te Duele

Amerie - 1 Thing

Andrea Valle - WIYLL, Treat

Angel Haze - Black Dahlia

Anik Khan - Unfair, Choturdola

Anna Wise, Xavier Omär - Easy

ANRI - Cat’s Eye

Aretha Franklin - Who’s Zoomin’ Who?

Aries - FOOL’S GOLD

Arijit Singh - Naina

Ari Lennox - Chocolate Pomegranate

Ariza, Astyn Turr - Sink or Swim

Ashanti - VooDoo

ASTRO - 장화신은 고양이

Audrey Nuna - Soufleé, Damn Right

Aventura - Un Beso

Bad Bunny - Desde el Corazon

Banda El Recodo - Entonces Que Somos

beabadoobee - coffee, The Moon Song

Berhana - Wildin’

Bigflo & Oli - Libre

Big KRIT - 1999

Björk, serpentwithfeet - blissing me

BLOO - Downtown Baby

Blood Orange - Jewelry, Dark & Handsome

Bob Marley - Satisfy My Soul

Bren Joy - Sweet

Brittany B - Company

Brownstone - If You Love Me

Bryson Tiller - We Both Know, Set It Off

boy pablo - te vas // don't go

CHAI - Plastic Love

Che Ecru - Backflip

chelmico - disco (bad dance doesn’t matter)

Ciara - Thinkin Bout You

Coi Leroy - VVS

Deftones - Knife Prty

Denai Moore - Cascades,

Destiny’s Child - Killing Time

Destin Conrad - In the Air

DICKPUNKS - Addicted to TV

Dominic Fike - King of Everything, Acai Bowl

Duckwrth - Start a Riot

Earl Greyhound - Back and Forth

Earth, Wind, & Fire - Reasons

EDEN - Why Don't We

El Alfa - Suave, Scarface

Eli Sostre - New Level

ENNY - Peng Black Girls

Erykah Badu - Didn’t Cha Know

Famous Persona - Ivy

Fefe Dobson - Ghost

Fujii Kaze - Hedemo Ne-yo

Gemini - Going

gesu no kiwami otome - Battling

Glass Animals, Denzel Curry - Tokyo Drifting

GRAY - Just Like The Rain

Haru Nemuri - 春ねむり

Hiroshi Sato - Only A Love Affair

Hojean - Let Me, Over 85

IMFACT - NANANA

Inez - Oumi

IU - Peach

IZA - Esse Brilho É Meu

Jadal - Hamm o Bala

Janelle Monáe - Look Into My Eyes

Jamelia - Superstar

Janet Such - Morning

jeerena montemayor - rose

Jessie Reyez - Far Away

JOE CHO - How Much

Jorja Smith - On My Mind

junglepussy - what you want

Justin Park - On The Low

Justin Nozuka, Mahalia - No One But You

Kaytranada, Janet Jackson - If I Was Your Girl, Glowed Up

Kelis - Caught Out There

Kelsey Lu - Church

Kevin Kali, Syd - Do U Wrong

Keyshia Cole - I Remember

Kishi Bashi - Say Yeah

Kiyo - Ikaw Lang

KOHH - ひとつ

Kojey Radical - Cashmere Tears, Can’t Go Back

Krewella - Rewind

Lakeyah - Female Goat

Larc en Ciel - Lover Boy

Lil Ghost - Unicorn

Lim Jae Bum - For You

Lisa Fischer - How Can I Ease The Pain

Little Simz - Selfish

Lypla - I Want You Back

Maluma - Medallo City, Hawái

majiko - 命に嫌われている。

María José Llergo - Niña de Las Dunas

Mario - Never

Mariya Takeuchi - Let’s Get Married

maye - my love

Michael Kiwanaka -

M.I.A., The Weeknd - Sexodus

min.a - Hour 24

MINA - Good Person

Mika Nakashima - Resistance

Mitski - Cop Car

Monchy y Alexandra - Te Quiero Igual Que Ayer

Moses Sumney - Indulge Me

Muzie, SUMIN - Thinking About You

Necronomidol - Dawnslayer

Ne-Yo - Because of You

Nilüfer Yanya - Same Damn Luck

Nito

No Rome - 1:45AM

NO1-NOAH - Stuck on Stupid

Omar Apollo - So Good

ORβIT - UNIVERSE

oresama - cute cute

Pa Salieu - Betty, B***k

PENOMECO - Okay, Tempo, ODD ep

Phillipa Soo - Ultraluminary

pH-1, Yerin Baek - Nerdy Love

Piso 21, Feid - Querida

Prince - Controversy, Erotic City

Q Lazzarus - Love Dance

Quay Dash - U.A.F.W.M

Ramy Essam - Saura

Rauw Alejandro - Detective

Reol - Echo, Syrup

Romeo Santos - Obra Maestro

Roy Woods - BB, She Knows About Me

Rum Gold - Save You

Satellite Young - Don’t Graduate, Senpai!

Sech - Relacion

Skie Dadios - Unang Sayaw

SG Lewis, Lucky Daye - Feed the Fire

Shenseea - Good Comfort

Sonder - Care

SURAN, Coogie - Into the Abyss

Syd Hartha - ayaw

Tatsuro Yamashita - Fragile

tobi lou - sadderday

TOKYO’S REVENGE - THOT!

Tommy Genesis, Charli XCX - 100 Bad

TOSHIKO HAYASHI(%C) - Stay A While

the vowels they orbit - selos

The PropheC - Jane Je Ta

THEY - Red Light Green Light

Tom Misch, Yussef Dates - What Kinda Music

Toro y Moi - yeah Right

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car, The Promise

TXT - Cat & Dog (English Version)

Valerie June - If And

Wildhood - Double Dark

Xavier Omar - Deep End, Just Get Here

Wizkid - True Love

Ye Ziming - JENNIE

Yoon Mirae - Thin Lines

Young K - Enemy, Is It

Yuna - Forevermore, Stay Where You Are

Yung Bleu - You’re Mines Still

Yumepedia - Tick Tock

#requests

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jlf23tumble · 4 years

Note

There has been some really gross drama going down in one of the non1D fandoms that I've been really invested in for the last 10 years so if you had any famous/nonfamous 1D fics (my favorite thing ever) to rec I would be forever grateful.

OH, MAN, I WANNA HEAR THIS DRAMA!! I’m always so happy when I find some deep dive into something I’m totally not following, tell me more! In the meantime, I’ve got you, bb! I have a bunch--mayhaps too many--so I tried to cull (and tried to avoid famous/famous in other professions). Hopefully, there’s at least one here you haven’t read!

I normally list fics from smallest to largest, but I’m gonna break tradition here to front load my all-time favorites, which are Tuxedo Dress-Up and its sequel Tuxedo Classic Dance Party, both by Blake. If you read nothing else on this list, please god, read these two, the first one especially kills me, it’s so fucking funny and hot (even the TAGS are funny and hot), featuring famous Harry and real estate agent slash drag queen makeup artist slash aspiring songwriter, just the detail in the houses that Louis shows Harry ALONE, I wanna die.

day 1, by sky_reid, 5.6k. The tease of this one being the first part of a series that doesn’t materialize, help, but it doesn’t matter, it is as it says, pure luxury vacation porn, and even though it’s not clear in the story, the tags indicate famous footie star Louis and nonfamous Harry, so I nailed the brief!

I Won’t Let You Forget, by @graceling-in-a-suit, 7.2k. I’m not usually into time travel OR soulmates, but this one’s both AND it’s brilliant, so who am I to judge??? Loved it, the canon aspect works especially well, too!

breathless for an eternity, by cabinbythesea, 7.8k. The first of two SNL-related fics on this list, famous Harry w/ SNL writer/cast member Louis, so it kind of skirts the whole famous/non-famous line(ish), but the tags spell out all the reasons why this one’s a yes in several categories, ahem.

Love Me Like You Do, by sweaterpawstyles, 9.1k. I can’t do better than this one’s author notes: “Harry is a famous model, and Louis is a quiet writer who may or may not be his dom.” SO MUCH GOOD STUFF HERE, FWIW.

The One Where Harry Really Doesn’t Have Ten Cats, by LoadedGunn, 10k. The banter is off-the-charts good, and the entire concept borders on the very best crack, I’m SO HERE for catsitter-to-the-stars Harry and one of his more famous cat-owning clients Louis.

Thought the Song Was Sung, by @100percentsassy, 12.6k. I feel like this one is genre-defining, it’s so wonderful from beginning to end, famous ex-boybander Harry and computer tech Louis meet cute on a dating app (and by the by, the author notes about the inspiration for this are HILARIOUS).

Answer All Your Wishes, by @sadaveniren, 13.5k. I don’t know the IRL reference material for this, but it doesn’t matter, it’s famous musician Louis and stay-at-home mommy blogger Harry who have been in love since high school, and it’s super cute.

Hold My Heart, by Awriterwrites and phdmama, 14k. Heart surgeon Harry joins the mile-high club with famous actor Louis, and the true best part is how Louis’s just as starstruck as Harry here.

Then We Talk Slow, by @letsjustsee, 20k. This one reads so real, Louis Tomlinson out there promoting “Just Hold On,” with social media manager Harry at his new label doin’ his part to help.

You Know It’s Christmas (My Heart Is Open Wide), by @softfonds, 21k. The second SNL fic on this list, famous Harry w/ SNL cast member Louis, and GOD, does it make ya think with all the ropes and what not.

let me make a thing of cream and stars, by @missandrogyny, 24k. Radio 1 DJ crew member Louis dealing with absolute sex pest/famous Harry, plus I really like the way Nick is written here.

led by your beating heart, by @missandrogyny, 29k. Same author as above, so another good job on writing Nick, but it’s also a great game of “call or delete,” with famous Harry deciding if he should call or delete “cute Lou from the loo,” a guy he met when he first auditioned for X Factor (cute Lou now being a teacher).

hymns for restless stars, by @turnyourankle, 37k. Can I just say how much I love the authors who write fictober and advent fic? You get a gift every day, and this one’s from Christmas 2018, featuring haunted-by-fame Harry and his niece’s teacher Louis, a soft and cozy holiday bonanza.

I Think You’re Already Home, by jaerie, 38k. There’s a lot going on here, but bottom line, agoraphobic yet famous alpha Louis Tomlinson hires omega Harry to have his child (the tag “questionable parenting decisions” sends me).

Buried Like Treasure, by QuickedWeen/ @becomeawendybird, 40k. Easily one of my all-time fave Marcel fics, this one’s about famous royal Harry hiding his identity and kinky secrets (but not for long!) from art thief Louis.

Harry Styles Cooks..., by sunsetmog, 61k. A wip, but who cares, this is famous chef Harry and obsessed fan Louis, and I’m not describing it well enough, but every chapter CRACKLES with humor and sex and sweetness, I love it so!

Not That Gone series, by abrighteryellow/ @a-brighter-yellow, 64k. Famous Harry goes back to his high school reunion and reconnects with decidedly non-famous Louis, and a truly great story ensues.

Tired Tired Sea, by MediaWhore/ @mediawhorefics, 113k. Yep, it’s a long one, but there’s a huge world built here, famous Harry with non-famous inn keeper Louis, you will absolutely want to visit a lighthouse when you finish it!

#fic rec #famous non-famous #some true faves here #and here i was thinking i didn't have many?#it's not a genre i seek out #but god some greats

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hngrylikethewoolf · 3 years

Note

15 16 19 20

15. What’s your proudest moment/accomplishment in BDRP? WELL SHIT EMMA why you gotta hit me with this hard ass question ahahah buuuuuuuut shit I have to say when I was able to move Claude (rip) from the church to a laymen and allow him that ability to heal from his story. I was really proud of myself for being able to accomplish that. For characters in play currently, I suppose Seamus's whole arc growing into being around a family again and having that be a core part of his character.

16. What thread that’s not your own do you remember watching closely? OOF probably...the Helle/Lou/Hera thread about...I think it was the twins?

19. Write some love for three Muns of your choice! (real talk this was so hard)

1. SID BB okay so, like, ya'll! Sid is amazing? She has such a RangeTM of characters and I continue to marvel at how she can write such a bitchy ass snob like Ratigan and then go to the hyper active bean that is Laszlo and Clara's sweet self. There is so, so much I love to see about her characters every time I see them on the dash and they always bring a smile to my face every time I see them, as does every interaction I have with her

2. PET! OKay so I love Pet, as I love everyone at this rp tbh but I always feel such a fun vibe from her. All of her characters are so fun and we have such a depth that I only wish I could have some days. You have been such a core piece of the roleplay since I have been here and I respect the shit out of that (and the other admins, but Pet this one is for you specifically bb)

3. CHOLE!! yeah so it is no secret that I adore yah Chloe, but you're always so much fun to write with and to plot with and I always love talking to you about all of your wacky characters. It's always so much fun and so lovely and I cannot thank you enough for just being YOU bb, because we always need a Chloe

20. Write some love for three Muses of your choice!

(This was eaten so I am just gonna say the love went out to: Lachlann, Roscoe, and Drakken for many reasons but all of them involved the fact that they are wacky and hilarious and have amazing personalities)

#answered #//this got so long but I just couldn't stop writing #evil endeavor

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certified-soft-si-content · 3 years

Note

🍎 - Are they a picky eater? What's their favorite food? What can you never get them to eat?,🧸 - What's their favorite toy? Do they have a favorite line/type of toys (Barbies, My Little Ponies, Hot Wheels, ect.)? And!!! 🔊 - How loud are they? Were they noisy/cried a lot, or very quiet? For Lou!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

SHDJDKDKFK MY BABY GIRL!!! MY SWEET BABY GIRL!!!

Death Stranding spoilers below if you haven't finished the game

(FYI, most of the time when I talk about Lou it's post-game, so when she's out of her BB casing and able to be a normal human child.)

🍎 - Are they a picky eater? What's their favorite food? What can you never get them to eat?

Given the environment she's growing up in, Lou really isn't a picky eater - we live in a world where we take what we can get, really. Surprisingly, she actually really likes cryptobiotes - which is good for her, but shook both Sam and I.

🧸 - What's their favorite toy? Do they have a favorite line/type of toys (Barbies, My Little Ponies, Hot Wheels, ect.)?

Lou loves anything soft or squishy! She has a lot of small squishy toys, particularly of animals. She quite likes building blocks, too - we had a few sent over by the Mountaineer. Sometimes she's less excited by building shapes and more by throwing blocks at Sam's head, though 🤭😂

🔊 - How loud are they? Were they noisy/cried a lot, or very quiet?

Lou is very quiet most of the time! If something upsets or distresses her, though, she cries pretty loudly. She settles very easily, though!

#familial f/o: lou #platonic pairing: bridges and bonds #f/o: sam porter bridges #ship: reconnecting #asks #fankids #(again not a fankid but just in case for blacklist purposes)

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ok-ak · 3 years

Text

nothing but respect for MY sign language teacher, louis tomlinson

#my sweet bb lou

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aspoonofsugar · 4 years

Note

Hi! I'm happy to find you reblogging something about Death Stranding. I love this game especially the story. It conveys the importance of the connection between people. I'm curious about who you like most in this game and your thoughts about the story.

Hello anon!

Thank you very much for this ask! I have recently watched the game’s cutscenes and I love the story and the characters!

In this answer I won’t be able to touch on every aspect of the story, but I will talk of some things I liked and of my two favourite characters:

I am fond of Fragile and love her with all my heart, while I like how complex Amelie is as a character and the perfect equilibrium they managed to obtain with her characterization and story. Basically I love the first with my heart and I like the second with my head.

Both women are representative of different aspects of society and to be more precise Fragile represents society’s positive traits, while Amelie society’s ambivalence.

This ambivalence of society is well represented by the cuff links. As their name implies they both connect (links) and control (cuffs) people.

This same ambivalence is conveyed through the entirety of Amelie/Bridget’s story and character.

Amelie’s name, as it is explained in the game itself, has multiple meanings:

On one hand it means “a soul that is a lie” because Amelie is nothing more than a part of Bridget and not her own person. To be more precise she is Bridget’s Ka:

This works for the wordplay Amelie-Ka aka America:

“Have I ever told you my real name? It’s Amerigo, after Amerigo Vespucci, the man who discovered the continent”

“I thought it was Columbus?”

“Except Amerigo was full of it. He lied. America is a lie”.

So America (aka society) is a lie just like Amelie is. However, things are not so simple:

This is highlighted also by Amelie’s final speech to Sam. In this speech she keeps contradicting herself to the point that it is not even clear what her true objective and motivations were.

On one hand she claims that as an EE she has realized extinction is impossible to avoid and that she has done her best to try and make it faster, so that she won’t be stuck alone on the Beach.

On the other hand she claims that all her experiments as Bridget were an attempt to find a way out using the knowledge of the universe to stop the Death Stranding.

Basically, Amelie came up and implemented a plan which worked both to save humanity and to destroy it and she herself is probably not sure of what she was hoping for.

This is made clear also by her act of saving Sam:

When she is the one narrating the story the whole scene is portrayed as sweet and as Amelie being able to feel sympathy and warmth for another life hence her resurrecting Sam and developing a bond with him.

However, later on, when we see what actually happened in Cliff’s past, we are shown this:

It was Bridget who killed Sam and Amelie’s resurrecting him ends up acquiring a more utilitaristic spin since Bridget was interested in Sam because of her experiments. That said, Bridget decided to bring Sam up even if he can’t be useful anymore in the BB experiments suggests a genuine attachment on her part. In the end, it is through this redemptive action and through her bond with Sam that the Last Stranding is postponed since Amelie chooses to believe in him.

In short, Bridget/Amelie is an extremely ambiguous character, just like society is and this is why what Sam tells Die-Hardman in the end is so important:

As Sam implies, Die-Hardman unwillingly represents the old ways which need to be overcome if there must be hope for the future. He is a character as ambiguous as Amelie is since he too appears thorn and to be more specific he is thorn between his loyalty for Cliff and his loyalty for Bridget. In this he is similar to Sam and in his last speech to him, Die-Hardman tries to reconcile these two loyalties, but this reconciliation is only partly possible for both him and Sam. In the end, Die-Hardman did not actively kill Cliff, but he did so thanks to his passivity and at the end of the game he is shown encouraging the narrative depicting Amelie and Bridget as heroes and concealing everything negative she did. In other words, he is still telling and spreading lies.

In short, the ambiguity of society is conveyed through characters like Amelie and Die-Hardman who have sacrificed babies (aka the symbols of the future) to a plan which could have potentially both saved and destroyed the world. Despite this, society is still the only chance humanity has to survive.

And society still has beautiful things and these things are embodied by Fragile who is clearly a very important character thematically:

Fragile is a person whose time has been taken away from her and this is why her body has aged prematurely. However, she has never given up and has kept trying to do the best she can with the little time she has left. This is literally what all humanity must currently do as it was stated by Amelie as well:

The only thing humanity can do is to try to evolve and to survive. After all life itself is:

Life is fragile, but not that fragile. It fights to survive and Fragile embodies exactly this. This is why she is a porter just like Sam and she is specialized in taking care of frail cargo. She protects fragility and makes sure it survives. This is something symbolized also by her powers which let her teleport through the beaches of people she knows and understands. In other words, her ability is a physical embodiment of the ability of becoming connected with another person.

Of course, because of society being a double edged sword she too has been used to create damage and in particular Higgs used her to destroy a city. However, even if she was betrayed in such a way she did not give up and managed to save another town in exchange of a high personal sacrifice.

So Fragile is the life which struggles under adversities and her arc in the game is symbolic of this. After all, she starts the game in a similar place as Sam:

She too does not care about America and she is simply motivated by the loyalty towards her father and her feelings of revenge against Higgs just like Sam is motivated by her bond with Amelie. However, by the end of the game she has changed:

She has decided to implement her father vision and as Sam says she is “going on with the world”. She is evolving and has found a new place within society through her newly found connections.

However, this is specifically why her path diverges from Sam who, like her, finds a new purpose through his father’s words. That said, this purpose is different from Fragile’s:

Thematically speaking Fragile is the good about society and it is not by chance that she is the one that, since their first encounter, offers Sam the possibility to be part of a group aka to be part of something bigger. And she repeats her offer to Sam at the end of the game.

However, by that point Sam has two problems. The first is what he himself states:

He is still grieving and is scared of creating bonds or to better say to enjoy his bonds since by that point he has clearly created strong bonds with the other members of Bridges. As a matter of fact his whole speech about how he still has no bonds is clearly false considering that in the end it was his bonds with the others which saved him from a lonely existence on the Beach. However, it is true that he has gone through a highly traumatizing experience.

What is more, this experience has casted a shadow on the way Sam sees society. This is made even clearer by the fact that society still plans to use and dispose of BB. This is something Sam can’t accept and his wish to try and save Lou is what motivates him to leave the others.

The fact that the last scene between Sam and Fragile is so sad is probably because she represents his chance to go back to be a part of society, but by that point Sam has already chosen to escape society hence him pushing her away.

Basically, while Fragile has found new bridges to put society back together and will keep working to obtain this result, Sam has found a different kind of bridge:

It is a bridge to the future aka a child and as Cliff stated:

Louise has become Sam’s bridge to the future. She has become a link he must accept and take care of because Lou is completely dependant on him, so he does not have the luxury of leaving her behind. In conclusion, Sam himself has become the Cliff which needs to be connected to the future and given courage by a little bridge. This is why babies are bridges. It is not because they are connected to death, but it is because they are connected to hope and the future.

So, Death Stranding is a story which explores the beauty of living even in desperate situations and the beauty of different kinds of bonds both in the present (among peers) and in the future (parent-child relationships).

I loved basically all characters. Cliff’s story is heartbreaking, but his last moments with Sam are beautiful and I loved Deadman, Mama and Heartman. Their stories were all interesting and were used to explore different aspects of the worldbuilding and of the themes and foreshadowed different plot-points (like Amelie being Bridget’s Ka in Mama’s story and Cliff using the Beach to search for his lost son like Heartman using it to look for his family).

Thank you for the ask, I am sure I did not do justice to the complexity of the story, but I hope my thoughts were interesting! Feel free to ask something more specific and have a great day!

#death stranding #death stranding meta #amelie strand #samantha america strand #bridget strand #fragile #sam strand porter bridges #clifford unger #die-hardman #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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lady-hammerlock · 4 years

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One Month, Two Days, Twenty Minutes (Death Stranding - DeadSam)

AN: So I have a lot of feelings about Sam and Deadman. This was basically just an attempt to get a lot of my head-canons regarding the end of the game and Sam and Deadman's relationship in order. Also Lou is there, because the three of them are a very loving family, and you will never convince me otherwise.

The only real warnings for this one are for a very brief mention of suicide, and some of the usual Death Stranding shenanigans. As usual, the full fic is available under the cut.

ONE MONTH, TWO DAYS, TWENTY MINUTES

Sam’s new life began outside the gates of Capital Knot City.

He was a little surprised at himself to be honest. He had been planning on leaving Bridges and the UCA and all the rest of it behind one way or another, or at least he had until Lou had come back to life. He had still contemplated it after; thought about just walking away and raising Lou in peace somewhere, with no Bridges and no UCA to bother them, but then he had realised that Deadman would have no way of knowing that Lou had survived, and that really didn’t seem fair after everything that the three of them had been through together.

And, if he was being perfectly honest with himself, the thought of not seeing Deadman again had been more than enough to give him pause all by itself. Perhaps things might have been different if Lou had really… well, if she hadn’t made it. If that had been the case then Sam wasn’t sure that he would have been able to look at Deadman without thinking of all that they had both lost, but now…

Fuck it. He was getting better at these things, wasn’t he? He could admit it to himself now, even if he wasn’t about to go saying the words out loud. He would have missed Deadman. He would have missed the others too; Heartman and Lockne and Mama and… well, he had a feeling Fragile would have found a way to keep in contact with him regardless. That woman was nothing if not resourceful, and stubborn.

The point was that as much as he would have missed all of the others, Deadman had somehow wormed his way into Sam’s heart a fair bit deeper than the others.

Sam’s cufflinks had been destroyed at the incinerator, which meant that he could no longer get back into the city automatically. Instead he found himself in a position that he hadn’t been in since he had first been roped into this whole mess; standing at the entrance to the city and asking to be let in, rather than just strolling straight through the barrier and letting the cufflinks and the city’s scanners do the rest.

He had been hoping that Nick Easton would be the one to answer his request for entry, or at least someone else who knew Sam by sight and who respected him enough that they might not immediately go blabbing about Sam’s arrival to the President if Sam asked nicely enough.

Instead Sam found himself looking at the chiralgram of a man that he’d never met before. The ID attached to the chiralgram announced him as ‘Jason Young’, a name that Sam had never even heard of before that moment.

Maybe this was better in a way. If it had been someone that he knew then he might have to explain what had happened and why he didn’t have his cufflinks anymore, and in truth, he wasn’t really looking forward to that.

“You don’t have any ID at all?” Young asked.

“Look, can you just go get Deadman, please?” Sam asked, attempting to comfort a squirming Lou as he did.

He hadn’t yet been able to find proper clothes for her. Her current makeshift blanket had started life as an old flannel shirt that the Ludens Fan had been kind enough to donate, along with some powdered milk, when Sam and Lou had shown up at his doorstep shortly after they had left the incinerator. It had worked well enough, but Sam knew that they would need proper clothing, and proper formula as soon as possible.

Now if only Capital Knot City would show them the same level of hospitability that an isolated prepper had been able to manage then he was sure the two of them would be fine.

“What should I tell him?” Young’s chiralgram asked Sam.

For a moment Sam considered telling the guy who he really was, but, on the off chance that Young did believe him, it would lead to too many questions, and if he didn’t, then well, it would probably just make him suspicious, and ruin any chance Sam had at actually getting into the city any time soon.

Damn it. Maybe he shouldn’t have burned those cufflinks, but at the time, without Lou, Sam really had been ready to walk away from it all.

Now he was just frustrated. There was a whole new life waiting for him, just on the other side of the checkpoint; so close, but still just out of his reach.

“Tell him that a friend is waiting for him at the entrance to the city,” Sam said. “Please.”

Deadman himself had said that Sam was the only person he had ever felt any sort of real connection to, and the only other people he might think of as ‘friends’ were also inside Capital Knot City. He and Deadman were definitely friends, right? Or at least, they were something. Deadman would know that it was Sam who was waiting for him. He had to.

It seemed to be enough for Capital Knot City’s newest protector. Young’s chiralgram blinked out of existence as he assumedly went to fetch Deadman.

God, Sam hoped that he would show up. Deadman would be able to let him into the city and would hopefully be able to smooth the way with Die-Hardman and the rest of Bridges.

But, perhaps more importantly than that, Sam missed him. It had only been two days since he had seen the other man, but he still missed him. Damn.

“It’s all right Lou,” Deadman said, running his hand over the little one’s pod and hoping that it would do something to calm her. “We’re going to find Sam. I promise. We’re not going to give up until we do.”

Lou frowned up at him and placed a hand on the wall of her pod.

“Sam will be back soon,” Deadman said, not sure whether he was trying to convince the BB or himself now. “He will.”

He realised that he was crying, and brought a hand up to his face to messily wipe away the tears, the other arm clutching Lou’s pod closely to his chest.

Lou let out another whimper and curled in on herself.

“Do you want me to take her for a bit?” Lockne and/or Mama offered from the other side of the room. For just a moment Deadman had forgotten that he was in the same room as the others.

“No,” Deadman replied. Lockne and Mama had been helping out a lot with Lou now that Sam was stuck on the Beach; taking care of her whenever Deadman needed a break, but at that moment he couldn’t think of anything worse than being separated from her. “I would rather hold on to her right now if that’s all right. After all, I did promise Sam that I would take care of her.”

And if she couldn’t have Sam as she so obviously wanted, then at least she could have him. He was a poor substitute, he knew, but at least Lou seemed to regard him as a friendly and familiar face.

“Didn’t I Lou?” Deadman said, running his hand over her pod. “We’ll wait for him to come back together.”

“Oh.” This time it was Fragile’s voice, and Deadman looked up to find her watching him with just a touch of pity in her eyes.

“You’re in love with him,” Fragile said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Suddenly all of the eyes in the room were on him. Well, all of them apart from Die-Hardman’s, who suddenly seemed very occupied with his cuff-links.

Deadman wasn’t sure what they expected him to say, but he knew he didn’t have it in him to deny the accusation. How could he when Fragile had just spoken the truth? He didn’t know how long he had been in love with Sam. It had been a slow, gentle thing that had snuck up on him without him realising it.

“Well,” he began, but for once finding the words getting stuck in his throat. He shrugged. “Let’s just focus on getting Sam back, shall we?”

Sam’s feelings for Deadman had developed slowly, sneaking up on him without him realising it until it was too late. When he’d first met the other man he had wanted nothing to do with him. He was too loud, too damned friendly, and way too fucking open with his feelings.

But then he had helped take care of Lou, and he had been one of the first people aside from Sam to see her as more than just a piece of equipment. And he had been so kind, in his own awkward, bumbling way, doing whatever he could to help out, even if it meant protecting Sam and putting himself in the line of fire. He had also done his best to make sure that Sam (and Lou) got an appropriate amount of rest, and took care of himself; something that Sam knew he was terrible at when left to his own devices.

By the time that Sam had realised he was starting to grow attached it was already too late. Deadman’s calls had already started to bring a faint smile to his face, and he had found himself looking forward to seeing the other man, even if it was only his chiralgram.

Sam hadn’t realized how completely fucked he was though, until he had fought that monstrous BT just outside of Capital Knot City, and Deadman’s excited voice had burst into life over the radio.

“I could kiss you, you sweet son of a bitch!”

The words had been enough to make Sam pause. He knew that it was just an expression; that Deadman was probably in no way planning to actually kiss Sam the next time he saw him, but still Sam hadn’t been able to stop himself from imagining what it might be like if Deadman did actually try to kiss him, and had come to the rather terrifying realisation that he would probably let him.

And damn; wasn’t that something? Sam knew that his aphenphosmphobia would probably make such a thing impossible, or at the very least, extremely unpleasant, but a part of him had hoped that Deadman would really try to kiss him when he arrived at the isolation ward, just so he could find out.

As he stood there in front of Capital Knot City, waiting for the other man to show, he wondered again if Deadman might greet him with a kiss.

Probably not, he decided.

Still, a man could dream.

Deadman watched the door close behind Sam and tried to pretend that his heart wasn’t breaking. He had shed more than a few tears when Lou’s vitals had first disappeared, but had made sure that they were done by the time he approached Sam. Sam would be devastated after all, and he would need Deadman to be strong.

Now that Sam was gone, little Lou with him, the tears were threatening to return, and Deadman felt like a black hole had opened up in his heart and was now threatening to swallow him whole.

There was the very real chance that he was never going to see Sam again. It was a choice that he had left in Sam’s hands. He only hoped that if this was going to be forever then it wouldn’t be because Sam had decided to follow Lou into the incinerator.

“Should I expect to see Sam again?”

The sound of Die-Hardman’s voice startled Deadman, and he turned around to find the new President approaching from the other end of the room. He wondered how much the other man had seen; whether he had borne witness to the embrace that he and Sam had shared. It was something that Deadman would cherish, despite the circumstances. He’d never been held like that before, and for whatever reason, the thought that someone else might have seen it made him more than a little uncomfortable.

“I do not know,” Deadman replied truthfully. “I left that choice in Sam’s hands.”

He waited for the President to object, watching the indecision pass over the other man’s face. It was strange being able to see the expressions on his face after only seeing the mask for so long. Without it Die-Hardman’s emotions were quite easy to read.

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with him,” Die-Hardman eventually said.

If Sam had asked Deadman to accompany him then things might have been different, but Sam hadn’t, and Deadman hadn’t expected him to. Hoped? Perhaps. But expected? Never.

“My place is here,” he said. “There is still a lot of work to be done.”

Die-Hardman looked almost sad for a moment, before clamping a hand down on Deadman’s shoulder.

“Go after him,” Die-Hardman prompted. “Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

Deadman had no idea what mistake the President was talking about, but even the conviction and passion in the new President’s voice wasn’t enough to sway him. It was Sam’s choice whether he walked away from all of this; from Bridges and the UCA, and even from Deadman himself. Sam had earned the right to make that choice without having to consider Deadman’s feelings, or anyone else’s, on the matter.

“Thank you,” Deadman said. “But I don’t think that I can. It’s a long walk to the incinerator after all, and I am in nowhere near as good physical shape as Sam is.”

If Die-Hardman caught it for the excuse that it was, then at least he had the decency not to call Deadman out on it.

Sam went to check the time on his cufflinks, and immediately felt like an idiot when he remembered they weren’t there. He had no idea how long it had been since Young had left to grab Deadman. It felt like it had been forever, but wasn’t that always how it worked when you were forced to wait for something? If he thought seriously about it, then it felt like maybe twenty minutes had passed. It was hard to tell though.

After his spell on the Beach he probably should have gotten better at waiting. After all, time passed more slowly on the Beach, and in the outside world it had been a month. On the Beach it had simultaneously felt like no time at all had passed, and like aeons had. It had all stretched out to nothing; just an endless, empty nothing that held no meaning while he was alone, but felt like years.

And then they had all shown up to save him; Deadman and Heartman and Fragile and Mama and Die-Hardman.

He could still feel Deadman’s hand on his ankle when he thought about it; the warmth of another human being after so long alone imprinting on his skin in a way that, for once, had nothing to do with his aphenphosmphobia.

The long solitude had, if anything, made Sam less tolerant of long waits, especially when there was so much to both look forward to and dread on the other side of the wait.

He longed for the moment when Deadman would wrap a metaphorical hand around his ankle again and bring the waiting to an end.

He looked over towards the city for what had to be the tenth time in the last two minutes alone, and froze as he spotted a tiny black figure emerging from the distant buildings and slowly making its way towards Sam.

At first it was nothing but a vague silhouette of black against the slightly lighter colours of the old city, but as it grew closer, Sam was able to make out a wide stomach, black clothing and a red shirt, and as each detail solidified itself in Sam’s vision, he felt his heart coming back to life a little more.

Deadman couldn’t stop the wide grin that appeared on his face as soon as he realized who it was waiting for him at the city entrance. It had been almost two days to the hour since Sam had left, and Deadman had started to fear that he really had seen Sam for the last time.

There was no mistaking the man standing in front of him, a sly grin making itself known through the narrowing of Sam’s eyes more than his barely upturned mouth.

“Hi,” Sam said as Deadman drew closer.

That was all Deadman needed.

“Sam!” he cried out, running towards the other man with the intent of wrapping him up in a big, warm hug.

Sam stepped back before he could however, putting a hand up and leaving Deadman standing there with his arms wide open, feeling more than a little foolish.

He tried not to feel too hurt. After all, Sam had only recently gotten over his aphenphosmphobia.

But then Sam took another step back and opened up the front of his coat, and there, tucked up against his chest and wrapped up in little more than an old rag, was Lou, alive and well and out of her pod.

Sam moved her over to his left arm and then gestured towards Deadman with his right.

“Let’s try that again,” he said, gesturing for Deadman to come closer.

This time there was nothing to stop him from wrapping both arms around Sam and Lou and holding them close.

Sam flung one arm around Deadman’s shoulder and leaned into the hug as much as he could while still holding Lou. His daughter cooed and babbled excitedly, squirming against the blanket and trying to reach out towards Deadman.

Sam was reluctant to let the other man go. It felt so right being wrapped up in Deadman’s arms; so warm and safe. Sam knew better than anyone the effects that touch starvation could have on a person, but it wasn’t until now, when he was able to feel what he had been missing out on, that he realised how badly he had needed it.

Between the small, fragile weight of Lou in his arm, and the larger warmth of Deadman wrapped around him, the sensation was almost overwhelming, and he felt himself shudder, even as he pressed further into the embrace.

He took a deep breath, finding his nose filling with a smell that he was starting to recognise as distinctly Deadman’s; a smell that immediately relaxed him, before forcing himself to pull back from the hug, afraid that if he didn’t then he might be tempted to stay in Deadman’s arms forever.

The blanket-covered bundle in Sam’s arms let out a loud ‘coo’ and squirmed again. One of Lou’s arms soon emerged from the cocoon of soft fabrics that Sam had wrapped her in, and Sam turned her around so that she and Deadman could get a good look at one another.

“Oh… my dear Sam,” Deadman said, his hands reaching out as though he wanted to grab Lou and hold her close. Sam knew the feeling, and passed the small, squirming child over happily.

“Our little Lou survived?” Deadman said as he stared down at the bundle in his arms. Lou let out a loud, happy series of noises and reached up her tiny hands towards Deadman’s face.

“She’s happy to see you,” Sam said, feeling his heart glow at the sight of the two of them.

“Not as happy as I am to see her alive and well,” Deadman said, before reaching down and very gently poking her on the nose with one gloved finger.

“But Sam, you’re risking a lot bringing her here. The executive order was to dispose of her. If they find out that she’s not only alive but that you’ve taken her out of her pod…”

“That was before. She’s alive now. Besides, if Die-Hardman or anyone from Bridges tries to tell me that I should have ‘disposed’ of her, then I’ll just remind them of exactly how much I know about the new President’s past.”

“Blackmail Sam?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

Deadman sighed, and took off his glasses for a moment, massaging the bridge of his nose.

“Well, with any luck that won’t be necessary,” he said. “In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Die-Hardman takes our side in this.”

“What? Really?”

“Well. I suspect that he will not be willing to let the two of us walk without at least considering the alternatives.”

“The two of us?”

Deadman’s attention was firmly on Lou, who he was now rocking gently in his arms, but he nodded slowly regardless.

“Well, I suppose I should say the three of us, shouldn’t I? We wouldn’t want to leave little Lou out of the equation.”

Lou let out a loud, happy squeal and reached her hands up towards Deadman as he continued to gently rock her.

“Deadman… you…”

“If your decision is to return to Bridges with Lou then I will do everything in my power to make sure such a thing is made possible,” Deadman said as he lifted Lou up with one hand under each of her tiny arms, his hands large enough in comparison that they could wrap completely around Lou’s tiny torso. Lou let out more laughter and happy babbling in response, her little legs squirming so hard that they might have threatened to kick her makeshift blanket off completely if Deadman’s hands hadn’t been holding it firmly in place.

Sam didn’t know what he could possibly say in response to something like that. He wasn’t used to having someone in his corner; wasn’t used to feeling like someone was his… his anything, at least since Lucy had died, and now he had a daughter and a… well… a Deadman, whatever that meant.

All he could do was throw his arms around Deadman’s side, careful not to dislodge Lou as he leaned his head against Deadman’s shoulder and tried to feel like his whole world wasn’t slowly turning sideways.

In the end Die-Hardman had been quite happy to welcome Sam back into the fold. Sam had been adamant that he wasn’t going to be pulled into politics, or anything larger than doing the occasional delivery. He wanted a quiet life, god damn it, and if Bridges wouldn’t give him that then he would have absolutely no problem walking away from it all.

He and Deadman were both surprised when Die-Hardman agreed without so much as a single objection.

“But the executive order…” Sam said, not trusting anything that was as easy as this had been so far.

“What executive order?” Die-Hardman asked, and Sam couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being deliberately obtuse. “You mean the one that you definitely followed? After all, if anyone was to check the logs at the incinerator, they would see that you disposed of your BB, as ordered, correct? I certainly don’t see a BB anywhere on your person right now.”

Sam was making absolutely no attempt to hide Lou. In fact, she was currently sitting right there in his arms, staring up at Die-Hardman with a look of such stern concentration on her face that Sam couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking.

“Incidentally, cute kid you two,” Die-Hardman said, nodding directly at Lou. “Congratulations.”

And with that Die-Hardman was gone, leaving the three of them standing alone in the President’s office and wondering what the hell had just happened.

On his very first night back with Bridges, Sam found himself unable to sleep. The nightmares had disappeared, so by rights it should have been easier to relax, not harder. Lou had been relatively quiet too, only waking up once to demand food and attention. As Sam had already been awake he hadn’t even been too bothered by it.

There was something that was bothering him though; something that had made it ridiculously hard for him to settle.

He was sleeping in the same building as Deadman. In fact, it would take him less than a minute to cross the hallway and make his way to Deadman’s rooms.

He could do it too, he realised, as he lay there staring up at the ceiling. He could walk right over there to Deadman’s quarters and… And then what?

It would involve Deadman obviously, but beyond that Sam wasn’t even sure what he was hoping to accomplish.

Before he knew what he was doing, he found that his feet had taken him to Deadman’s rooms, seemingly without his brain’s permission. He stood there for a moment, staring at the door to Deadman’s room and wondering whether he should knock, when the door opened up by itself.

“Welcome, Sam Porter Bridges,” the door announced, in the same neutral voice that Sam had gotten used to hearing in Distro Centres all over the country.

Sam had already been assigned new cufflinks; ones that he had put on voluntarily this time; so it was less surprising that the door recognised him, and more that Deadman had apparently given Sam full authorization to access Deadman’s rooms whenever he liked. Sam wondered how long he’d had those privileges without even realising it.

He stepped into Deadman’s rooms, still not entirely sure what he was doing there. He had seen Deadman’s quarters before, in the weeks between his returning from the Beach and the coronation, but it was different being here at night, more so while he was uninvited, and essentially trespassing.

Deadman’s rooms were much larger than Sam’s. It made sense in a way. Deadman lived in Capital Knot City full time, and had been living there since before Sam had met him. The rooms Sam was used to staying in had only even been meant as temporary accommodation.

There was a spacious sitting area, with the largest, most comfortable looking sofa Sam had ever seen and shelves full of books and films and other assorted paraphernalia.

Past that there was a modest kitchen, and then past that, Deadman’s bedroom.

Sam found himself hesitating at the entrance to the bedroom for a moment, watching the gentle rise and fall of the blanket covered mound in Deadman’s bed. He was struck, not for the first time, by the sheer size of the thing. It was easily big enough for two, even when one of those two was Deadman. Sam’s hands twisted uselessly at his sides, eager to reach out and grab something that he wasn’t even sure he had a name for.

He crept closer to the bed, trying not to wake Deadman. He could see the other man’s sleeping face now; all scrunched up because he was sleeping on his side, one arm flung across the width of the bed as though he was reaching out towards Sam. It was still strange to see him without his glasses, and Sam found himself seized by the unreasonably strong impulse to reach out and run his fingers over the lines around the other man’s eyes.

“Come on Sam,” he muttered under his breath. “What the hell are you doing?”

He wasn’t even sure what he had hoped to achieve; just that he had desperately needed to see Deadman all of a sudden, and the other man had already been right there, just across the hallway. It had been an easy distance to cross. The less than two feet that lay between them now however seemed completely insurmountable.

Deadman stirred in his sleep, his mouth uttering wordless sounds as he did. The hand that had been reaching out towards Sam twitched, his fingers clutching at the mattress for a moment.

Sam kneeled down by the side of the bed, crossing his arms on the mattress and just watching Deadman sleep. He was strangely adorable like this, and when another bout of restlessness caused Deadman’s nose to scrunch up just so, Sam felt his heart and stomach twist oddly inside of him.

Deadman’s eyes fluttered open slowly, causing Sam to freeze in place.

“Sam?” the other man asked, blinking a few times as he no doubt tried to work out why Sam was even in his room, let alone being an absolute creep and staring at him while he slept. Sam stood back up, putting a slightly more appropriate amount of distance between them.

“What is it?” Deadman asked as he rather slowly and drowsily sat up in bed. The blankets fell off his shoulders to reveal that he was wearing a set of dark red button-up pyjamas. The fabric looked soft, and Sam found himself wanting to touch; to twist the dark red fabric in his fingers, and find out what was softer; the pyjamas or Deadman himself.

“Are you all right?” Deadman asked, groping for the glasses that sat on the bedside table nearby. “Is Lou?”

That thought seemed to wake Deadman right up. He seemed ready to charge straight over to Sam’s room, and he might have if Sam hadn’t reassured him.

“Lou’s fine,” he said.

“Then what…?”

Sam wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. He didn’t even have a good reason for being in Deadman’s quarters in the first place.

Sam saw Deadman sigh more than he heard it; his shoulders rising then falling as he sat on the side of the bed. Sam stood there, feeling more than a little awkward, his hands clenching uselessly at his side.

Deadman shuffled over on the bed and patted an empty space next to him, and Sam found himself immensely grateful for the invitation.

Even after Sam sat down it was a while before either of them spoke, and of course it was Deadman who broke the silence.

“So if Lou is fine is it you that is not fine then? Come now Sam; there must be something I can help with if you’ve come to see me like this.”

Sam stared down at his hands, clasped tightly in front of him, and tried to will the right words to come. He couldn’t tell Deadman the truth; couldn’t admit that he had missed the other man so suddenly and so fiercely that it had brought him to Deadman’s quarters in the middle of the night.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Sam revealed. That part was true enough at least.

“Oh?” Deadman exclaimed. “Nightmares?”

“No. Just…”

Just a mind that was too active and a heart that couldn’t seem to work out what it wanted, except that it involved Deadman somehow.

Deadman let out a thoughtful hum that sounded far more certain than Sam felt.

“Well, clearly you thought there was something I could do to help if you came to me,” Deadman said.

“Yeah, maybe,” Sam conceded.

Sam didn’t know whether it would help or just make matters worse, but he did know that he wanted to touch Deadman. It felt like now that it was something that he knew he could have, that he couldn’t get enough of it; like he was already addicted in some way.

“Well then, just tell me what I can do for you then,” Deadman said, as helpful and friendly as he always was, and that just made everything worse, because it made Sam like him even more…

“I want…”

Why was it so fucking hard to find the words?

Maybe he didn’t need words though. He let himself relax, shuffling closer to Deadman and leaning against him, so that his side pressed against Deadman’s own. It was nice, feeling the other man’s warmth pressing against him. Perhaps it wasn’t enough, but it was a good start.

One of them let out a low, contented sigh, and Sam realised with some embarrassment that the noise had come from his own throat. He turned a little, nuzzling his head into Deadman’s shoulder as though he might be able to bury any embarrassment in the other man’s skin.

“Oh,” Deadman finally said, the single syllable breathed out so softly that it felt as though Deadman was afraid of breaking whatever delicate thing had begun to grow between them. ‘Oh’. That simple. As though he understood exactly what Sam was asking for when even Sam didn’t know how to put it into words.

“Sam,” Deadman began, his voice barely more than a whisper and yet still too loud in the fragile peace that was growing between them. “Would you like to stay here for the night?”

Sam couldn’t bring himself to answer, so instead he just nodded, knowing that the other man would feel the action, even if he couldn’t see it.

He pressed himself more firmly against Deadman’s side, his hand reaching out blindly to grab Deadman’s hand and hold it in his own. Deadman had taken his gloves off to sleep, and when Sam entwined their fingers together he could feel the other man’s pulse, pounding far too hard and too quickly throughout his veins. He wondered if that meant that Deadman felt just as nervous and unsure about this whole thing as Sam did. He had already told Sam that he had never felt connected to anyone until Sam came along. Did that mean that he had never…?

Sam swallowed nervously. Deadman had always seemed more confident than Sam when it came to this sort of thing; showing affection and being close to people and stuff. Sam hoped that would continue to be the case, otherwise it would mean that neither of them had any idea at all what they were doing. Just the two of them, stumbling through the dark together and hoping for the best.

Oh well. It would have to be enough. Sam had felt like he was stumbling through the dark and hoping for the best for most of his life; why should this… whatever this was, with Deadman, be any different?

Before Sam could overthink things any more than he already had, Deadman was gently guiding him to lie down on the bed beside him. Sam let the other man move him how he would, until the two of them were just lying there, side by side on the bed, their hands still entwined tightly with one another.

Sam just lay there for a moment, staring up at the ceiling and trying to get his breathing and his heartbeat back under control. Deadman was now lying between him and the room’s exit; effectively trapping him in the bed, or perhaps protecting him from anything that might enter the room? Either way it didn’t worry Sam as much as it once would have.

He ran his fingers slowly over Deadman’s skin, tracing the pattern of scars that ran over the back of Deadman’s hand, following one around to his palm and then following it up over his wrist and under the fabric of his sleeve.

He heard Deadman’s breath catch in his throat, and felt the other man go completely still beneath his touch.

“Sam…” Deadman whispered, and Sam couldn’t for the life of him work out whether that meant ‘Sam, please stop’ or ‘Sam, that’s very nice’ or something else entirely. What he did know was that this; the two of them lying on their backs beside one another; it wasn’t going to work. He pulled his hand away from Deadman’s own and took a deep breath.

“Roll over,” Sam prompted, surprising himself with his own boldness.

“Sam? What are you…?”

“Roll over onto your side,” Sam prompted. “Facing away from me.”

He could see the confusion on Deadman’s face, or at least he could for the few seconds it took for Deadman to decide that he was just going to go along with whatever it was that Sam was planning.

Sam let Deadman settle and get comfortable, and then shuffled closer to the larger man, wrapping his arms around his stomach and pressing his front against Deadman’s back. The two of them wriggled and squirmed until they were both in something approaching a comfortable position.

Sam waited until Deadman had stopped moving around, before pressing his face into the space between the other man’s neck and shoulder. He could feel the other man’s pulse there too; still pounding far too hard. He waited for Deadman to object or suggest a change of position, but no objections came.

Sam nuzzled into Deadman’s shoulder, breathing in the other man’s scent as deeply as he could and letting it relax him. It was starting to smell a lot like home.

Soon both of their heartbeats settled, and Sam realised that this; the feeling of the other man; so soft and warm in his arms, was exactly what he had needed. He wondered whether Deadman would be opposed to Sam sleeping in his quarters on a more permanent basis. There was enough space in there that he could move Lou in as well; set up a crib in one of the corners. He would have to bring up the idea in the morning.

Sam wasn’t sure whether it was because he was apparently feeling very daring that evening, or just because he was half-asleep and not thinking clearly, but he took a moment to press a gentle kiss onto Deadman’s neck before snuggling back in. The only reaction from Deadman was a pleased sounding ‘hmm’, which probably meant that it was okay, so Sam dared one more kiss before settling in to sleep.

He fell asleep with his arms wrapped around Deadman and his face pressed into the other man’s shoulder. It had been a very, very long time since he had felt so at ease.

The night that Sam returned to Capital Knot City, Deadman had one of the sweetest dreams of his life. Or at least he did until he woke up the next morning, Sam’s arms still wrapped around him, and realised that it hadn’t been a dream at all.

He turned his head as much as he dared and discovered Sam’s face was still pressed into the curve of his shoulder. Deadman smiled at the sight, his heart feeling like it was glowing inside of his chest, before turning back around and letting himself fall back to sleep.

#death stranding #deadsam #sam porter bridges #deadman #my fic

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