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dickwheelie · 3 years

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this is a few days late but it’s still technically Hanukkah, so! here’s a fic about Jon and Martin celebrating Hanukkah in the safehouse (shhh timelines aren’t real) because I like to project and I really like the idea of Jon being Jewish. a lot of us are having weird holidays this year, away from friends and family, so the boys having a weird one too seemed appropriate. in particular, Jon not having a menorah because I don’t have one this year either :(

the stuff in this is based on my own experiences celebrating Hanukkah growing up in a pretty secular household, so if you see anything that’s “wrong” then that’s why, lol. the prayer is accurate as far as I know though, it’s the same one my family and I sing every year.

(also this is not a good representation of how to make rugelach! if you really want a good recipe, hmu and if you ask nicely I might share my mother’s 😁)

enjoy and Happy Hanukkah!! 💙🕎✡️💙

___________

“I just feel bad,” Martin said, watching from the sofa as Jon put the challah in the oven. “You’re doing all this cooking, and I’m just sitting on the couch like a lump. And this is supposed to be your holiday.”

“Martin, for the tenth time, it’s fine. Besides, the holiday doesn’t actually start until sundown,” Jon called, cheerfully enough, from the kitchen. Jon liked cooking, Martin knew, and he didn’t really see it as a chore in the same way Martin did. Still, this was a special day for Jon (well, eight days, really), and Martin wanted to be of some use. He’d offered to do everything from peeling potatoes to rolling matzoh balls, but Jon, ever the control freak in the kitchen, had stopped him at every turn. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty about not helping out as Jon bustled about, trying to make Hanukkah dinner for the both of them.

More than helping out, really, Martin just kind of . . . wanted to share this with Jon. The way Jon talked about it, it sounded as though he’d had more Hanukkahs alone than with friends or what little family he had. Martin wanted to make Jon feel like he didn’t have to be alone this year, and even if Martin was new to this, he was game to learn. Jon had already told him about the holiday and all the different foods he was making, but there was still some distance there, a disconnect, that Martin knew Jon wasn’t putting between them on purpose. It seemed to Martin more like a force of habit than anything else.

After setting the timer for the challah, Jon nodded, satisfied, and came over to join Martin on the couch. He slouched against him comfortably, and Martin automatically put an arm around his shoulders. Jon had a bit of flour on his nose, and Martin gently swiped it off, which made Jon’s face wrinkle up like a disgruntled cat. Bloody adorable, Martin thought.

“I get a bit of a break before I have to start on the latkes in a few hours,” Jon said. “Got to make those right before dinner so they’re fresh.”

“Can I please help with those?” Martin said, half-joking.

“Fine,” Jon laughed, “yes, Martin, you can help with the latkes.”

“You won’t regret it.”

“I’m sure.”

“Is there dessert?” Martin asked, offhandedly. He hadn’t noticed Jon getting out any sugar or making anything sweet that day. “Do people eat anything sweet on Hanukkah?”

“Well, there’s gelt,” Jon says. “Chocolate coins. But the grocer’s didn’t have any. Unsurprisingly.”

Martin laughed. “Yeah. Probably not a huge priority in the Highlands.”

“People also make rugelach, sometimes.”

“Arugula?”

Jon laughed, not unkindly. “Rugelach. Different from the vegetable. Very different,” he said. “It’s a pastry. A kind of holiday cookie, I guess you could call it. Sweet dough with chocolate or cinnamon inside. It’s simple to make, but I didn’t buy the right stuff for it, and honestly I have enough cooking to do.”

“Yeah? How d’you make it?” Martin asked, innocently enough, though an idea was brewing.

As Jon explained, he waved his hands in the air, miming the process. “You just roll out some pastry dough, cover it with chocolate or cinnamon or walnuts or whatever you like, cut it into strips, and roll them up.” He thought for a moment. “They look a bit like seashells.”

“Huh,” Martin said. “Seems easy enough.” He’d never made dough before, but how hard could it be, really. The hardest part, he figured, would be actually making the things in their tiny cabin and even tinier kitchen without Jon finding out.

Soon after that, the oven timer started beeping, announcing that the bread was done. Martin took advantage of Jon busying himself in the kitchen to slip out the door, giving him some offhand excuse about wanting to get some air, to which Jon waved him off.

In the baking aisle at the grocer’s, Martin quickly realized he was out of his depth. He stared at the display of flour and sugar and baking powder and all sorts of other stuff, utterly at a loss as to what one needed to make pastry dough. He tried, once again, to Google a recipe on his phone, but once again, there was no service and no wifi.

Well, there was always pre-made, frozen dough. Not ideal, but it’d probably work in a pinch. Much faster to make, too, Martin thought as he dropped a couple cans of it into his basket. The filling, at least, he knew he’d be able to handle; he grabbed a few bags of baking chocolate and a shaker of cinnamon, and brought everything up to the checkout counter.

Martin didn’t even know which lucky stars to thank when he arrived back at the cabin to find the kitchen empty, and Jon passed out on the bed in a post-challah, pre-latke cooking nap. Martin gently closed the bedroom door and immediately set to baking.

Going by Jon’s vague descriptions, he rolled out some of the dough into a flat oval shape, but the pre-made kind wasn’t meant to be used all at once, and the end result was a sort of lumpy mass. Digging around in the cupboards, he was able to find some flour, which helped make the dough less sticky, at least. Eventually, he was able to get it flat enough to cover it with the filling, like Jon had told him. Half of the dough he covered in cinnamon, liberally shaking it out all over the dough. The other half he covered with the baking chocolate, which came in little chunks, but he figured it would melt in the oven just fine.

Next, just as Jon had described, he cut the dough into even strips, thin and rectangular, and rolled each of them up, so the filling made a little spiral shape inside. The chocolate ones were a bit chunky and awkward-looking, but, well, it was the taste that counted, wasn’t it.

Martin turned to face the oven, realizing he had no idea how long they ought to bake for, or at what temperature. He checked the instructions on the tins of pre-made dough, deciding to go by whatever they suggested. It wouldn’t do for the dough to be raw, he figured.

Soon enough, the pastries were in the oven, and Jon was still dead to the world, none the wiser. Martin felt quite satisfied as he cleaned up, mentally patting himself on the back for a job well- and stealthily-done. He’d hide them in the oven, he decided, until after dinner, and then he’d surprise Jon. Smiling, he went to join Jon in bed, curling up next to him as he slept, until he fell asleep himself.

Martin woke groggily several hours later to Jon gently shaking him awake, telling him it was time to make the latkes. He’d already got the batter done, a thick, floury mixture of potato and onion, and a pan of oil was bubbling on the stove. Jon showed Martin how to drop spoonfuls of batter into the pan, patting them down to shape them into little fist-sized “pancakes.” He let both sides brown in the oil until they were nice and crispy, before transferring them onto a paper towel-covered plate to cool. It was simple enough, and Martin was able to finish up the batch as Jon set the table, bringing out the challah and matzoh ball soup he’d made, as well as sour cream and apple sauce to dip the latkes in.

Once the latkes were done (and Martin was quite proud to say they’d come out very nicely), Jon retrieved some red wine he’d gotten in the village and poured them both a glass. Then, as Martin was getting ready to sit down, Jon glanced around sheepishly, gesturing at an empty space on the kitchen counter.

“I, ah, normally I’d have a menorah to light. But obviously I didn’t bring one when we came up. And out here, well, it’s the same as with the gelt. No real place to buy one.”

“Oh,” Martin said, heart sinking. He reached out to squeeze Jon’s hand. “That’s a shame. I’m really sorry.”

“Really, I just wish I could show you,” Jon said, shaking his head as he took his seat at the table. “It’s really lovely. You light a new candle every night, and when they’re all lit . . . I’m sure it’d look nice here, especially.” He gestured at the space in front of the darkened kitchen window.

“Yeah,” Martin agreed, wistfully. He’d seen photos of menorahs before, and he could just picture it, he and Jon gathered around, lighting candle after candle as the eight nights passed.

“Well,” Jon said, turning back to face Martin at the table, “we may not have a menorah, but I can still do the blessing.”

“Blessing?”

“Yes. You’re supposed to do it while lighting the menorah, but, well. I’m sure this will do, given the circumstances.” Jon reached his hand across the table, and Martin took it.

“Alright.” Jon cleared his throat, almost self-consciously, and then began to sing in Hebrew, a melodic, practical tune that sounded comfortable and familiar on his tongue, like a well-worn shawl. “Barukh ata Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav, v’tzivanu, l’hadlik ner, shel Hanukkah.”

Martin couldn’t really sing along to the words, but he nodded along to the melody, and when Jon was done he looked up at him and smiled, and Martin beamed back. They both raised their glasses and drank.

They ate heartily, or at least Martin did, because Jon kept shoving second and third bowls of soup at him, and insisting he finish off the latkes. Not that Martin was complaining, of course; it was all delicious, and Jon did praise him for how nice the latkes had come out.

They left the dirty dishes for later (or, knowing the two of them, tomorrow morning), and after dinner they went straight for presents. Though his options were limited without online shopping or anything outside of the tiny village, Martin had managed to find an adorable little painted china Highland cow in a local antiques shop.

“I know you think they’re cute,” Martin said as Jon lifted it out of the box.

“How did you know,” Jon deadpanned, but he grinned as he brought it up to his nose and stared at its little painted snout. “I love it, Martin, thank you.”

Jon had gone the homemade route, and knitted Martin a scarf. And a pair of mittens. And an entire bloody sweater.

“Oh my god, Jon,” Martin said, staring in disbelief at the mounds of knitwear before him. “How did you find time to do all this? How did you find time to do all this without me knowing?”

Jon looked away sheepishly. “I, uh, I’m a fast knitter.”

Martin shook his head fondly. Unbelievable. But he immediately took off the sweater he’d been wearing and pulled on the one Jon had made. It fit rather well and was as cozy as it looked. “Thank you, Jon,” he said, feeling the sleeves, knowing that every loop and stitch of the fabric had been purposeful. He could practically feel the care and love Jon had put into each one of them. “I love it,” he said, leaning over to kiss Jon at the corner of his eye.

“Well,” Jon said, cheeks darkening, “Happy Holidays, then.”

“Oh,” Martin said, rising from the sofa, “I’ve actually got one more thing. Sort of a last-minute gift.”

“Hm?”

Martin went over to the oven and took out the trays of rugelach. He’d checked them earlier to see if they were cooked through, but hadn’t gotten the chance to taste one yet. “Tried my hand at a bit of dessert,” he said, selecting a couple nice-looking ones and putting them on a plate for Jon to try.

Jon had followed Martin into the kitchen, and was staring at the pastries lined up on the trays. “Oh, well, thank you,” he said, surprised, taking the plate Martin handed to him. “What are they?”

Martin cocked his head at him. “Rugelach,” he said. Wasn’t it obvious?

Jon’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Ah,” he said, voice strained with positivity. “Of course. Right.”

Martin was starting to get a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Gingerly, Jon took one of the rolled-up pastries, and bit into it.

Martin tried one as well. It was one of the chocolate ones, and it was . . . crunchy. Very crunchy. The chocolate, it seemed, had only partially melted in the oven, and the pastry dough itself was a bit hard to bite through. Besides that, it wasn’t very sweet, the chocolate being too dark and the dough being too salty.

He tried a cinnamon one. Again, the dough was crunchy, and the cinnamon was overpowering without any sweetness to it. Martin considered the possibility that perhaps he ought to have added sugar.

Jon, for his part, was doing his best impression of a person who was very much enjoying the pastry they were eating, honest. “Mmm,” he said, demonstratively, as he swallowed one of the cinnamon ones. “Thank you, Martin, these are . . . delicious.”

Jon was actually reaching for seconds, which Martin knew he was only doing to make him feel better, so he reached out a hand and placed it on Jon’s, stopping him short.

Jon looked up at him. Martin shook his head wordlessly. Jon cracked a smile.

“They’re not good,” Martin said, putting them back on the trays one by one.

“Martin--”

“It’s okay,” Martin said, smiling back at him, “I know. They’re rubbish. I didn’t even use a recipe, of course they were gonna turn out--”

“Well,” Jon said, stubbornly, “you tried. It’s the thought that counts. Thank you, Martin, really,” Jon said, bringing up Martin’s hand to kiss the back of it. “It was very sweet of you to put all this effort into it.”

“Next time, I’ll look up a recipe,” Martin said, bringing one of the trays over to the kitchen bin. Jon was quick to assist him.

“There’s seven nights of Hanukkah left,” Jon said, after a moment’s thought. “We can always try again. Tomorrow, we’ll get more ingredients, and I’ll show you how to do it properly. It really is easy, you just need . . . well. Sugar, for one.”

Martin laughed as he tossed the last of the batch away. “Okay. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

“I mean it, though,” Jon said, looking at him fondly. “Thank you. For this, and for the cow, and for sharing the holiday with me. It’s . . . this has been really . . .”

Jon was gesturing in the empty air, struggling for the proper word, but Martin understood well enough. “Yeah,” he said. “And thank you, for sharing it with me.” He pressed a kiss to Jon’s cheek.

“Happy Hanukkah, Jon.”

#tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #gwyneth writes #oh shit this is long #it's 2.4k #btw not pictured in their spread is gefilte fish which is a staple in my holiday dinners #but again idk if you could find it in the scottish highlands lmao #not a ton of jews out there i imagine #anyway happy hanukkah yall i love you

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gymwrites · 7 years

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Here’s To Ties

The Raistafina Chrismukkah one shot I finally got around to finishing - better late than never. Hope it warms the heart a little :)

“Hello? Anyone there?”

McKayla Maroney pokes her head through the arched entrance door. She unwraps a thick woolly scarf around her neck, a bagful of elegantly wrapped presents balanced against her hip.

Pausing for a moment to even out her slightly labored breathing (she had decided to take the ten or so flights of stairs up to the penthouse, rather than the private elevator), McKayla pricks up her ears. The comfortable silence of the warmly lit hallway is peppered every now and then with distant clanks of pans against a stove, the sudden on and off of a tap, and the muffled sounds of playful scolding.

She waits. Sure enough, a thundering patter of footsteps rapidly grows ever closer. McKayla grins. Dropping the heavy bag to the floor, she bends down just in time to catch the enthusiastic ball of energy hurtling towards her.

“Aunty Mack! Aunty Mack!”

“Mimi! God, I almost didn’t recognize you. You’re a full grown lady now!” McKayla laughs as she sweeps five-year-old Amira up into her arms, planting a kiss on her forehead. With her free hand, McKayla reaches up to brush a few wild strands of dark brown hair out of the excited girl’s eyes.

“Are any of those for me?” Amira eyes the bag of goodies on the ground, searching for something with her name on it.

“Maybe. You’ll just have to find out later tonight, when your mommies officially start the gift-opening ceremony.”

Slightly deflated, Amira sighs and rests her cheek against McKayla’s shoulder.

“That won’t be until forever. Gifts start only after we eat all the food first.”

McKayla raises an eyebrow, a tiny smile hanging on her lips. “And just how much food have they cooked this time?”

Lifting her head to look seriously into McKayla’s eyes, Amira leans in to whisper, “A lot. And…” Amira’s hushed voice trails off.

“Let me guess. We have to judge who Queen of the Kitchen is again?”

Amira chews her lip and nods silently. McKayla’s eyes glint with anticipation. “I see. Well, then. We had better go and make sure they haven’t started World War III.” Bending down to scoop up the bag, Amira’s arms still wrapped tightly around her neck, McKayla starts striding down the hallway.

True to Chrismukkah tradition as celebrated by the Mustafina-Raisman household, it looks like the Big Bang took place on their massive oakwood dining room table. Every inch of it is covered in food, glorious food. Crispy, golden brown latkes sidled with applesauce, a huge pot of steaming solyanka ringed with mushroom pies, leafy salads galore, a roast chicken with Seda and Laurie’s names on it, a mountain of pelmeni accompanied by generous dollops of sour cream… It’s as if all the exertion that normally goes into winning Olympic medals has been channelled into creating the most magnificent Chrismukkah feast the world has ever seen.

Aliya Mustafina and Aly Raisman stand side by side at the head of the table, exhausted, but feeling like they’ve accomplished something great. Milling around the table is what over the years has become their big, jumbled Russian-American extended family - Simone, Masha, Laurie and Seda jabbering away about their planned trip to the Cayman Islands, Dasha and Madison swapping bar coaching tips, Gabby and Viktoria bent over an intense game of chess.

Looking sideways over at Aly, Aliya takes a moment to appreciate her partner’s adorably flushed cheeks, the crystal lashes she had spent a full hour applying, and the super nerdy Santa hat she has on. Feeling Aliya’s gaze on her, Aly turns and grins at her.

“What?”

Fighting back the impulse to tell the American she looks ravishing tonight and perhaps maybe they should cancel the Chrismukkah dinner right now so they can… have some time to themselves… Aliya bites her lip and instead fixes a careful smile on her face.

“Your - how you say - lat-kee? Taste good. But little burnt.”

Aly shoots Aliya an indignant look. “I never burn those. They’re perfect.”

Aliya chuckles. “We will see.”

A joyous chorus of greetings from the Olympians in the room distracts them from their pre-competition banter.

“Sorry I’m late! Work at the studio was crazy.” McKayla’s signature exuberance brightens the festively decorated room even more. She sets Amira down onto the floor and immediately goes around to pull each of the other girls into a fierce embrace. This is the one time of the year Team USA and Team Russia get to be in the same room together - a near impossible feat, what with their combined number of international competitions, TV appearances, judging panels and coaching workshops to attend.

Aly and Aliya both make their way over to the beaming vault champion, elated at McKayla’s arrival. Now the party - and fight for this year’s Queen of the Kitchen title - can really get started.

“Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha'olam, asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Hanukkah.”

Amira claps her hands in delight as Aly lights the final candle on the menorah. Hugging her daughter close, Aliya’s joy is more contained, but no less genuine. Every time Aliya watches Aly say blessings on behalf of their family, she never fails to get shivers at how beautiful the Hebrew language sounds, how special it feels to share this moment with the people who mean most to them.

Aly sets down the lighter and grins around at the illustrious bunch seated around the table, noting with satisfaction the empty plates and bowls spread out on the table. The guests, for their part, feel like they won’t have to eat for another week. At least.

“Aliya, Amira and I just want to say how grateful we are that you all could make it again this year. You guys are as close to family as family can be. Chrismukkah is about bringing people together, regardless of faith, background, nationality, and…” Aly chokes up as a surprising wave of emotion hits her. Everyone exchanges small sympathetic smiles at the sight of the former American team captain tearing up. Despite the rivalry between their countries they have all known for most of their lives, the last few years have knitted them closer together, more than anyone had expected.

“Yes,” Aliya steps in gently. She slides her hand into Aly’s. “You are all very important to us.” Amira, sensing the gravity of the moment, sends the most love-filled smile she can muster up towards her mom.

Finding the strength in Amira’s smile and Aliya’s touch to pull herself together, Aly decides to steer the night towards a lighter note.

“Speaking of important, it’s time to count your votes to see who this year’s Queen of the Kitchen is!”

Aliya nods. “After lose to me in the last year, Raisman not let me hear the end of it. When she lose again tonight, we all can have true peace.”

“Excuse me, it doesn’t count as winning if you bribe everyone with expensive Russian vodka that isn’t yet legally available on the market,” Aly retorts. “As I recall, we’re meant to do this all in the spirit of friendly international competition.”

Simone rolls her eyes. “To skip all the drama, we made sure to vote so you both …Ow!” She suddenly yelps as someone’s foot kicks her in the shin under the table. Viktoria shoots her a barely visible warning that’s immediately replaced with a sweet smile. “Go on, Aly,” the demure Russian says.

Aly gives Viktoria a quizzical look, but continues. “Gabby, would you do the honors?” Both she and Aliya look expectantly at Gabby.

Gabby clears her throat. “Well… After tallying everyone’s votes for each of the main dishes, it appears we have…” She looks around at the table, trying hard not to laugh at how everyone is avoiding looking directly at Aly and Aliya. “Well would you look at that, I can hardly believe it. A tie. You are both equally amazing in the kitchen.”

“A tie! Hooray!” Amira clinks a silver spoon against a glass, something she’s loved doing since McKayla taught her it’s a secret noise that attracts the faeries to come out and play. It also helps fill in the silence of everyone collectively holding their breaths at Aly and Aliya’s reactions.

Sure enough, their reception to the tie is slightly more suspicious.

“You guys. We told you - you don’t have to spare either one of our feelings. Vote with no fear of the Russian mafia coming after you…” Aly stifles a grin at the sight of Aliya’s stormy eyes widening.

Before Aliya can fire back a response, Madison quickly and strategically raises her glass in the air. “Here’s to ties!” Sitting across from her are Viktoria and Dasha; they all burst out laughing the second they make eye contact. In wholehearted agreement, the other Olympians around the table follow suit. “To ties!” Mouthfuls of champagne are quickly downed.

Moving hurriedly to muffle the protests of Aly and Aliya, Laurie jumps to her feet and with a flourish of her hand announces, “Okay party people! Seda and I have been working on a little something for the past few days… How does a Russo-American Chrismukkah song sound? Da-vai!”

The still of the night merges with soft, intermingled breathing.

Despite the madness of Chrismukkah celebrations, neither Aly or Aliya feel the slightest bit tired. It might be the effects of the peach-tinged, medium-dark Colombian coffee brew McKayla had whipped out at and made everyone down in shots. Or the impromptu half-drunken rap Seda and Laurie had conjured up at the last minute, lampooning everything from the FIG to floor judges to Olympic after parties. Amira had passed out from pure exhaustion after the tenth verse.

But mostly, it’s the familiar comfort of fingers laced through each other’s, legs entangled, the scintillating heat of their bodies pressed together, that’s keeping them awake. Moments like these make reality better than dream; sleep, an unwelcome prospect.

Aliya shifts her head slightly so she has a direct view into the deep swirls of hazel against honey, the boundless love in them wrapping around her like a protective blanket. She brings her hand up to trace the outline of Aly’s cheekbones. The Russian doesn’t say anything; she doesn’t have to. Aly smiles, tilting her face in closer, close enough that their noses brush together.

“How many times was that?”

Aliya laughs softly. “Four, I think.”

Aly sighs, closing her eyes for a second to take in a deep breath, and to savor the feeling of not knowing where she ends and Aliya begins. She opens them to find Aliya smiling sultrily at her. It prompts a gentle kiss from Aly. “After the third time I thought there was no way, but wow. That was amazing.”

"We are together so long, and still you are surprised at my superior skills," Aliya chides in mock indignation.

“Superior skills? Do I need to remind you how many times you…”

The Russian leans in to nuzzle Aly’s ear, her hot breath sending ripples of pleasure down Aly’s being, cutting her off mid-sentence. “We call it a tie.”

“I thought you hated ties. Actually, we both hate ties. Like tonight’s dinner. I know my latkes were incredible. No offence to you babe, I know how much time you spent on that soup… what is it called? Sol… sol- something…” The teasing in her voice is palpable.

“Aly?”

“Hm?”

“Shut up.”

Aly can hardly fail to comply. Not with Aliya’s hands suddenly embarking on another insistent exploration beneath the sheets…

#raistafina #one shot #chrismukkah #it's a bit late but still

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

Note

][Rhys and Adonai for the ship meme][

@blind-mutant

Ship meme

General:

How long will they last? - For a WHILE,,,if Iris doesn't intervene, that is.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Probably took a month or two since they're both bratty idiots and then there's the fact that they both have big issues along with Rhys settling with the rest of the Spots System and Doe's job.

How was their first kiss? - Awkward?? Doe KNEW what they were doing, but it was still awkward after when Doe just went "thanks" for a lack of knowledge after.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Rhys did since Doe doesn't care much about human traditions.

Who is the best man/men? - Morde if they're in contact again.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Ava for the sane reasoning!

Who did the most planning? - Doe and Rhys did it together since Doe IS well organised but,,,memory issues. Venus and Mirror helped.

Who stressed the most? - Rhys was since it meant more to him and he wanted it to be a good wedding for Doe too.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Iris, cause who wants her there, right?

Sex:

Who is on top? - Usually Doe since it's what they're good at and what Rhys likes.

Who is the one to instigate things? - They both do but Doe mostly since they can sense when Rhys is in the mood and nyooms right in one that.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Rhys lasts longer since he's less sensitive.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yeah, Doe likes pushing and giving Rhys something good to remember and Rhys likes to return the favour.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. - Doe is rough to Rhys, but there's lots of moments where they need/want something softer from him.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. - Boys are more private! And Doe is sensitive after sex so it's mostly gentle time.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - None since Doe can't hold a child for long periods of time, or keeping a womb long enough.

How many children will they adopt? - Probably none either, but I imagine they get a pet in the future, some sort of reptile maybe? Doe fucking loves reptiles.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Rhys since he's around more and less bothered by the smell.

Who is the stricter parent? - Doe is as their punishments are "okay we'll put you in the room for six hours and no food for three days" before Rhys just "babe, no"

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Rhys does as the Normal Parent.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Doe does since they keep it on a Schedule and mealtimes are good points to remember days by.

Who is the more loved parent? - Hm,,,,both? Rhys is more relatable but also Doe can turn into anything so clearly a child is torn between loving ghost and the cat sized dragon.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Rhys is.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Rhys did, the big sap.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -Doe is but,,,more likely to just use their powers and then give tips on not getting caught for next time.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Mirror or Venus does surprisingly, since they place a lot of care towards Rhys and Mirror is the alter that carries most of the basic skills.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Doe since he can't handle too many flavours.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Doe does since they're good at collecting stuff and Rhys tells him what to get.

How often do they bake desserts? - Never but they get stuff at cafes almost weekly.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Rhys is a salad eater while Doe needs more meats and tends to eat veyr,,,odd salads.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Rhys is since he remembers them and then Doe does something the next day, Rhys's biggest romantic trait is being a human calendar.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Doe is and they love being able to see more of the world with Rhys by his side!

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Rhys is since he has less experience and no alters to take over for him

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Rhys does

Who is really against chores? - Rhys is more since Doe's just used to "Things I am Required To Do"

Who cleans up after the pets? - Most likely would be Doe.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - They both are, the little trash men.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Doe more since I imagine they worry more about people they know seeing them in their comfort zone.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Rhys probably, after Doe keeps poor track of his paychecks sjjsjs.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Rhys does since Doe tries to conserves water without thinking.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Doe would since they get up early enough for it and then Rhys does it later on.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Rhys likes to do it for certain big holidays but doesn't go THAT hard since the physical-ness of it matters less to Doe and Rhys cares more about the celebration itself.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Probably to be happy and safe? Rhys wants Doe away from Iris and the shitty life, but Doe has yet to really know what they might want.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Rhys for his sleeping schedule!

Who plays the most pranks? - Doe. I mean, their entire first ever meeting was a whole ass prank on Rhys.

#ask #blind-mutant #sweet face sour taste (adonai)#ship meme #headcanon

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

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Next batch! Morde is now Sk8er boy help

#art #riding the wild winds (wulf)#she was a rose without thorns (edith)#he will set your fears free (lace)#sweet face sour taste (adonai)#dusk filled head (mordecai)#diamond of the rough (dae)#underwater garden (peach)#god i should do some piccrews of Doe's alters at some point

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

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Just kinda realising now that I've written the system for Doe out, I get more mixtures of Mordecai and the Syetem together

#dusk filled head (mordecai)#sweet face sour taste (adonai)#mothman was here (ooc post)

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

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“ get well soon ” ][For Adonai][

@blind-mutant

The night had started out well enough. Rhys and Doe had gone out to a bar and had nice drinks and even a bowl of chips that Doe had spent time licking salt off before eating while talking with Rhys about easy missions that didn't include death or torture and Rhys would tell him about what he had done that day or any thoughts he had. Adonai loved hearing Rhys talk as his voice was the most wonderful sound and feeling. It had made his day so much better after a particularly rough job that had required Doe to absorb a bullet into his skin. Metal was always frustrating to melt out of himself.

The slight ache behind his being had been small at first, but as the night had wore on, it grew worse and worse until they could have sworn the ache in him wanted to tear it's way out of his skin and to be someone itself. Doe had tried to act like he was normal and to not worry Rhys, because Rhys was always worried about Doe and he didn't want to do that to him. It seemed unfair to ruin his night, but Rhys had ended up noticing his pain and had suggested to go home.

Home sounded nice.

But the pain grew and grew and now, Doe was crouched on the gravel, a low whining noise coming from him. A hand touched against his head and Doe snapped away from it, his whine shifting into a painful wail as the feeling of those same patterns he adores suddenly digging into him. It felt like images were clutching across his head in scattered waves and then, and then-

"Y-you're silly." Redhead smiled, naked and pretty in their bed. Other redheads, sweet too, smiled and laughed when he shifted into whatever they wanted. Mentor smiled sadly and ruffled his head when he did the fighting right and Mothet and Zaza stared and stared and stared and stared and metal was pulling him apart and Doe cried and Adoani smiled it off and Venus sat coldly through it and they couldn't get out of the box and flickering-

"Haaaah," Adonai let out a nose more similar to metal grinding and now more eyes were glancing in their direction. It hurt. Their head hurt and Doe/Adonai/Venus/ISH-000 did not want it to hurt no more with a louder scream that had begun to gather humans before sending them scattering when They slammed their whole body onto a car, denting the side but not stopping the pain. Perhaps the gravel would help stop it, if it could go into Their head with the pain.

#ask #blind-mutant #sweet face sour taste (adonai)#tw injury #watched black mirror white bear and this inspired it slightly #tbh if it isn't too triggering then feel free to watch it and get a gander of what screaming i imagine Doe is doing rn sksksk #cause god the actress was on POINT with her pain i was very impressed

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

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Last batch! Doe looks sweet as always and I love necklace with the sun makeup and the pie triooo!! Morde is adorable and yes he us wearing a fox shirt, Dae is the outcast gay jock ur parents warn u about because he spitss acid and Miss Weech...gave baby goldfish in a bag earrings and yes she is Ace Aquarium Girl I love her so much and she also has hearing aids on along with a rare treat of her night form!! WHEN will a cutie come and see it romance can happen for a girl who loves fish, turns into a giant one at night and wears dino earrings??

#art #sweet face sour taste (adonai)#dusk filled head (mordecai)#diamond of the rough (dae)#underwater garden (peach)#peach is my fav

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

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][For Adonai][ “has anyone ever told you that you have a funny idea of romantic?” Rhys chuckled. He wasn't bothered by receiving a half empty box of chocolates by any means, but he found Doe's form of romance a little bit strange. They could be a sweetheart for sure, but they were definitely... just a little bit odd. Rhys hoped that they liked the Hatsune Miku plush and box of cupcakes he had given them; his and their forms of romance really weren't in sync.

@blind-mutant

"No, they haven't." Doe answered before his face twisted a little. Quite literally. "Or maybe they have? Saying is hard to do." As the phrase went.

Valentine's day was very interesting. It was such a cliche holiday to make money, yet humans seemed to adore it anyway and practically threw themselves into it. Doe supposed that they didn't mind it. Especially since the holiday fitted so well with their aesthetic. Doe felt right at home with how his heart shaped pupils and freckles blended with all the other hearts. They liked the shapes of hearts, nice looking and sweet feeling instead of how Doe knew what hearts really looked like.

"I took the ones that you wouldn't like and I placed and replaced them with better ones that you would like. I would enjoy the sharing of cakes to help if that sounds adequate?" They liked the toy lots. Hatsune was small and pretty and simply having her around made his skin shift from hearts to exclamation marks over and over. Doe soon found himself tapping a hand and slowly rubbing Hatsune's head to enjoy the soft feeling of her material. The cupcakes were good too. Not too many flavours and only some had icing with plain and chocolate batter.

The thought and care Rhys had put into these choices made more hearts gather around their skin and Doe reached out to hold the person who made them feel so happy and safe. A sweet scent filled the air and they were pleased to lower their voice the exact way they knew would make Rhys shiver.

"I would like to have my lengths shifting and changing inside of you as I make you scream about how much you love me." Doe said. "Because I love you and I want to have constant love on the day it should be made, sound good?"

#ask #blind-mutant #sweet face sour taste (adonai)#lemon #ish #with hugs and misses (valentines)

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 4 years

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❝ don’t blame me! it was your idea to come in here! ❞ ][For Adonai][

@blind-mutant

"Yes but I didn't-" Doe startled at a particularly loud cackle from a plastic witch. The lights of the haunted house flickered and the shifter flinched back, wincing from the pain it caused. Pain was lessened when they were other people, they took on different qualities and things became easier. Being raw like this meant that Adonai was far more sensitive to every noise and sight and smell. The cackling rang in his ears and Doe groaned once more before another Rhys was now holding his hands over his face and pressing his face into original Rhys's neck.

The leather felt nice and cool and Doe breathed in the smell of vanilla and cigarettes. He hadn't liked the smell at first but it had grown on Doe. Like so many of Rhys's qualities. It was easy to be soft around him and the hybrid even found that he was okay with eating things near Rhys. Of course, they were both brats and it wasn't like Doe was going to take the blame for being overwhelmed by all of the lights and nosies.

Not to mention the deep urge to be weary about the costumes in order to protect Rhys better. A man wasn't a zombie, but what if he secretly was? What if it was a trick that was going to hurt Rhys? Adonai had to protect his маленькая мышь, less something were to happen. "S-sorry. We can still go on, I won't stop yeh from enjoyin' it." Rhys had always wanted to go to a haunted house ans Doe refused to be the reason his mutant couldn't enjoy himself.

Even if he would have to look like someone else for it.

#ask #blind-mutant #sweet face sour taste (adonai)#Midnight spooks (Halloween)

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

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Wing verse babs Pt 2!

Wulf - Albatross. These birds are built purely for soaring long distances and rely heavily on the wind for it too. I think Asgardians share a trait of being a lot more older looking and layered in how they're a bit more primordial. Wulf is a big ass bird man and in the wing verse, I think that's what makes it mostly obvious that he isn't human. And since everyone in Asgard has giant wings, I think he and Edith tend to think of stuff like personal wing space.

Edith - Great horned owl. A bird that's well known for living in forests and is widely known for being incredibly smart and intimidating at times. Perfect for Edith who relies on intimidating people for her job and also owls are really good fliers with neat wings that can clip corners really well and fit inside small places which works for Edith's job.

Lace - Lovebird. The most ridiculous bird for this very terrifying man. It's the FUNNIEST thing to me that Lace is so scary and yet he has these bright and pretty wings that are constantly fluttering and stretching out. I think he shifts his wings into different types of wings constantly, much like dragonfly or leather wings. Lace is rather happy with his wings, believing them to be pretty and possibly the only good things about his appearance. He takes great care of them and actually has ridiculously good wings due to the fact the government want their weapon to look good too.

Adonai - Cuckoo. You can. Guess why. I mean, a bird that is famously known for making other birds assume that the chick they care for is their own. Doe is aware of this and finds that little fact about themselves very amused by it, once they learn what exactly a cuckoo is after all. But Doe is used to shifting a multitude of different wings, often for fun or for work. I'm not entirely sure what wings their alters would have yet tbh but Addie tends to have bright and fun wings, Venus often takes on raven wings and Mirror? Well, you can guess with their name.

Pie Trio - Everyone thinks Magpies. It's in their main name for crying out loud and the black and white wings seem to be a give away. No. Its chicken wings. They're chickens. Chose these because they're birds that often stay together and also I think a hen house perfectly represents how the trio were often inside and kept in a "cage" for so many years. And also like chickens, none of the trio are capable of flight. Partly due to the fact that Iris clips all of her properties, but Peach is permanently clipped while Dae and Mordecai have too much damage to their wings to ever even hope of flying, though it wasn't like any of them knew that they could fly in the first place though.

#wing verse #riding the wild winds (wulf)#she was a rose without thorns (edith)#he will set your fears free (lace)#sweet face sour taste (adonai)#dusk filled head (mordecai)#diamond of the rough (dae)#underwater garden (peach)#fucking love pie trio

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

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Muse thoughts/notes

Sal as a Hulk would just turn 5'10. That's it. That's his incredible gamma height. Red laughs so hard he chokes to death.

Been thinking and I'm gonna give Doe DID. I've already got two alters worked out and I've thought really hard on this and decided that it really works for Doe. Tho it isn't entirely realistic as a marvel character and a shapehsifter, I'm gonna be theming it a little bit like Hulk's system since I'm already familiar with it and the research I've done.

Pascal eats bugs. Spider side baby.

Future verse is where Dae and Sal end up becoming friends due to Dae leaving his human skin fully and accepting being entirely made out of diamond vs Sal losing a portion of his sight and being legally blind and they're friends because Honkers chased Sal's guide dog, Artemis aka Doodlebug. Man made out of diamonds runs into squishy alien?? Its a hospital trip of a lifetime.

#headcanon #the living stardust (sal)#he speaks of holy fates (pascal)#diamond of the rough (dae)#sweet face sour taste (adonai)#kinda nervous about the doe part #but did really goes well with their experiences #and i was careful in learning for their alters

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at-the-exd-of-everythixg · 3 years

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6. Laughter || 15. Hands || 16. Smile || 21. Autumn || 23. Romance || 27. Sleep || 30. Sex || 34. Affection || 35. Guilt || 39. Secret || 40. Scent ][For Adonai][

@blind-mutant

Laughter

Doe...doesn't actually laugh. At least, not in a way most can tell at first. Their face keeps completely stays deadpan but Doe's fingers start to tap against things and they have a shudder in their body that usually lasts for a couple minutes. Rhys knows he's laughing when he feels Doe rapidly tapping his back and his chest heaving.

Hands

Doe doesn't have finger prints! His hands are entirely smooth and so they often wear gloves or copies someone else's prints to hide how smooth their hands often feel. Doe always makes sure that they wipe down any surface after Rhys's touched it for the day and he likes to make his hands bigger so that he can marvel at Rhys's hands in his own larger ones.

Smile

Doe's smiles tend to show a lot of teeth and gum, mostly cause they never really got the hang of smiling?? Adonai also tends to smile with his whole body and by that I mean his freckles turn heart shaped and his entire body seems to take on more of a bronze hue and their pupils follow suit by shifting into bigger hearts and meaning closer to whatever is making them smile. People tend to get a big hit of the positive pheromones around this time.

Autumn

They really love autumn due to all of the pretty colours and how everything seems so diffrent from home with the clicnal walls and constant brightness. Doe spends half of his time going "red leaf!! Ornage leaf!! Yellow leaf!!" And pointing them out. Also starts to collect the prettiest leaves he can find and spends time adjusting them....also eats leaves. Chances are that Doe will just grab leaves and eat them on the spot even though he and Rhys have plenty of food waiting at home. Autumn is also known as snack season for a reason.

Romance

While they know the basics of romance and how to charm people, Doe doesn't exactly know how to feel about it. Usually when meeting someone he likes, Doe will try a series of normal romantic stuff to see what appeals to his interest more but it's not exactly...heartfelt?? Just what gets this person to like him better. Of course, once Doe really likes someone, then he starts to think of more unique and nicer things to do because of how Doe truly wants to be liked and loved back.

Sleep

Doe has a rather set sleep schedule ranging from 10:00pm to 7:00am, ensuring that they get a full ten hours of sleep. Doe needs large builds of energy which means that he needs more sleep at a constant set time, unless on missions. If they sleep in longer or they get denied sleep then Doe becomes quite anxious and snarly for the rest of the day, often pacing around and keeping himself away from bad textures. He probably gets really sulky and hates having Rhys near admittedly since even Rhys's smell/touch/nosie becomes really distressing to his senses. Usually this is when the Venus persona takes place in the main mindset to help make things more clicnal and easier to deal with.

Sex

Adonai is very good at sex. They know exactly what someone likes after just a few moments and they enjoy being able to tease their partner while commenting on how cute their partner looks too. Though usually they keep some form of skin shift on as Doe is quite sensitive to being touched in his bare form. Honestly Rhys could make Doe into a complete puddle just by gently running a hand up and down his back when Doe removes his cover skin. It's a lot like having open nerve bundles honestly. Local shapeshifter can cum with a massage. Banned from too many parlours.

Affection

Like I said, Doe tends to show affection by giving things that they know their partner wants. Although, Doe also had a tendency to sing for his partners and musical numbers were quite common for him to do for Mordecai. Rhys absolutely gets romantic songs and tbh Doe finds out his favourite singer and adds traces of their voice into his own to add to it. Tbh Doe finds out that he loves being doted on too and I imagine he trembles in delight when Rhys makes him some milk and tucks him in blankets.

Guilt

Admittedly, Doe feels no guilt towards their actions. There's a reason they get assigned to killing and Doe doesn't have much of a conscience about it. Guilt's hard to place for them but the longer that they spend out of Iris's control, the more often that Doe will either have a nightmares about past victims or remember certain details. It makes them wonder at times whether what they did was truly bad and why exactly it feels like this. Doe doesn't enjoy feeling forms of guilt, it drags on in their head and makes Doe feel...sick and filthy.

Secret

Even if they don't mean to, Doe tends to be a big keeper of secrets. Even the smallest things are usually kept secret and Doe often wants the people around him to keep things to themselves if its important enough. He doesn't realise this, but a part of this is due to Adonai not wanting to possess any important info about someone he cares about in case Iris decides to go through his memories. Better to ensure that he knows nothing and can keep the people he likes safe rather than letting Iris get into his head and posisbly hurt everyone else.

Scent

Doe's sense of smell is already quite good, but thanks to years of training it's honestly at the level of Wolverine. Doe can scent out high detail scents and it capable of tracking stuff for days if able. In turn, that's why he uses soaps that typically have no smell and will smell of utterly nothing, so that Doe doesn't get distracted when trying to look for a certain scent. When he's with Rhys and stuff, Doe will then use more gental soaps and often has either rose scented soaps or takes milk baths.

#ask #sweet face sour taste (adonai)#headcanon #blind-mutant

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