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#sympathetic deceit

OH! It’s okay, just miscommunication! Many apologies for assuming you had ill-intent!

I think only Virgil would wear them regularly, Janus only wears tattoo chokers and only when he’s wearing something black and lacey, and we all know Roman has an extremely glittery one he breaks out on holidays.

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Janus: Remus! Tell them I do, in fact, practice self-care on myself?

Remus: You mean the nights where you watch all the Twilight movies for all the Jasper Cullen scenes with ice cream and popcorn?


Remus: Where’s the fun in that?

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Dear lord, Janus with a New York accent falling for a southern guy and the miscommunications that come with it are amazing.

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Janus being into southern guys is the cutest thing to me. Just imagine Jan turning onto a puddle of lovey dovey hiss noodle when a southern guy calls him a pet name.

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Remus: Janny here likes southern boys. Likes their accent.

Roman: *tries and fails to do a southern accent*

Janus: Listen here you lowlife pleb, if you’re not about to call me darling with a proper drawl and own a farm with me, shut your dirty lying not-country-boy mouth.

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Janus: Unlike the rest of you plebs, I don’t care for social norms.

Remus: You cried during Wall-E. Seven times in one sitting.

Janus, tearing up: He gave up everything for Eve and that fucking plant!

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I headcanon that, in the AU itself, Virgil, Roman, and Janus are stripppers and Logan, Remus, and Patton have non-SW jobs. Logan in the AU is a chef, Remus is a vet, and Patton is a florist. In the AU Virgil also works as a clothing designer, Janus is also a hairdresser, and Roman is also an artist.

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Janus: I mean, it was Roman’s idea, I just made it better!

Roman: Are you fucking with me?

Janus: No, I’m asexual. Why would I want to fuck with anyone?

Roman: My apologies, anyway. What the fuck, Janus, leaving me out again!?

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Janus: *complaining about the others not listening to him*

Logan: Sucks to be you but I don’t care.

Janus: *starts crying from stress and overworking himself*


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Logan: I hate sentiment.

Janus: Says the one who has a scrapbook devoted only to our wedding.

Logan, voice cracking: Falsehood!

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Janus: Oh look, something dangerous!

Remus and Janus: Let’s do it!

Roman: Oh no. Oh god no. There’s two of them now.

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Fourth in the Blood Guts and Gore series


Disclaimer: The authors (@quillfics42 and @izzyfandoms) still do not condone murder or cops of any kind, we are just exploring the story line.

Warnings: Serial killers as main characters, deceit using a different name (Dorian), mentioned murder, crimes, implied sexual content

Keep reading

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