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#system stuff
neo-bushnell29 minutes ago
2, 19, 21 for the system ask thing
2) Youngest member? Oldest?
Es is about 5! So she's the youngest, and Dr Coomer is the oldest! Idk how old he is I just know he's old lol <3
19) Favourite part of the inner world/headspace?
My inner world isnt really that... Scenic? It's it's just a dark void with stuff in it sometimes? So it's wherever my friends are at that time :)
21) Running jokes within the system?
Radish discourse, Benrey Fictive Union Leader (that kinda became real tho ahshsjsvsvsh), that's all I can think of rn?
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betaamityan hour ago
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me: i think im gonna start being open about my system again, force me to stop convincing myself its fake and just. function okay with my headmates agai-
system: hey we got a factive here of a singer that like. all of your friends hate
me: im gonna never be open abt this system ever again
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heavens-bookshop4 hours ago
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Fic WIP Game!
My dear friend @mintly invited people to join in on the WIP game! So I鈥檓 here giving it My Shot.
RULES: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and I鈥檒l post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.
a map of stars
Date Night
everything hurts and im dying
its sad
Movin鈥
Reviewer 3
satanic pollen
Speed Dating
The Plants Ship It
Tony vol 2
Waiting
wessexy time hehe
ch 2 take [redacted] Shelled A Dolly
Holy water chapter 4 (shit version)
summer lovin happened so fast
Civero de Salvaticina
5+1 Bentley Times
Crazy Demonic Cult thing
What鈥檚 that? Stop starting new things and finish something? Sounds dumb.
I don鈥檛 want to tag 18 people, and also at this point I think most people have done this, so if you want in go ahead and feel free to tag me so I can see it and ask you stuff too!
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1-800-get-sherlocked10 hours ago
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hi guys i just wanted to say sorry im like behind on tag games and im not that active anymore rip, im not ignoring u if u tagged me in smth im just swamped with uni and stuff :鈥) (im literally so done with weeder classes) i鈥檒l get to them afterwards sorry it just gonna be super late andddd hopefully by then i鈥檒l have more gifs prepared to share聽
and on a brighter note, wtf im like im shook /pos:
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tyty for supporting me!! <33 i havent rlly been able to check follows to see if theres some i want to follow back bc again been swamped hahajksdlf but yeah i appreciate yall and thank u! idrk what to do to celebrate or smth so have a virtual cookie from me 馃崻 and have a nice day!聽聽
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like-a-million-suns11 hours ago
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#not gonna tag this cause i dont know if people here rly liked the film but i still wanna rant so#just gonna say that promising young woman left a rly bad taste on my mouth#and like. im kinda annoyed because i feel like i wanted to like it. i rly wanted it to be good#but i havent been able to stop thinking about it for some hours now and the more i go over it the more annoyed i feel#its like.....they had a chance to say something relevant and then they just.....didnt#my feelings rn are#ok cassie's murder came out of nowhere and it truly left me feeling hollow but after that i thought they were gonna commit#and make it sort of like a#'yeah.....this was the fucking reality all along' that this (albeit kinda watered down imo) revenge thing cassie had going on.#is nothing but a fantasy for most victims and their families. and the world is shit so.#in what world would she have gotten alive and gotten justice. in what WORLD would she have gone to hundreds of mens apartments at night#while many of them were drugged or drunk and scared the SHIT out of them w a scolding and gotten out of there alive???#without having to hurt or kill any of them to stop them from finding her or threatening her or following her after or whatever.#no. this was nothing but a fantasy all along and the victims end up hollow and alone or presumed 'crazy' if not dead after all#in a system which perpetuates this kind of violence and gives more credibility and support to those w more power#yes it would have been depressing as hell and maybe not the best thing for me to watch as someone living in a country w a femicide crisis#and as someone who expected cassie to get her revenge in the end i guess beyond some 'gotcha' scolding moments#it would have STILL been disappointing for me. i truly expected her to fulfill her revenge after that stuff that happened w ryan#but at least it would have made SOME sense#the fact that they expected the random 'youre under arrest' moment for this guy at the end while ryan was looking mildly concerned#reading some fucking wannabe joker texts w a ridiculous wink emoji attached#and saying 'this is the end' sorta making it seem like the police 'will solve it now' without rly showing any of the aftermath#when we KNOW these guys are even powerful and connected enough to make a case for themselves no matter how disgusting their actions were#that one of the dudes can even use self defense as an argument#we really are supposed ro believe that the police and justice system have it aaaall solved now. and imagine that and feel....some sort of...#idk...catharsis??? like it was worth it??? like cassie got her big WIN.....by dying????#and by....leaving it all in the hands of those who fucked up in the first place and didnt care abt her until she was dead ???#and i have a lot moooore to say tbh. abt other choices w the general plot...even music and 'aesthetic'...idk but truly my main issue rn is#that it seemed like the ending was supposed to feel 'fulfilling' and a 'win' in some way. and well. for me it just fucking wasnt.#s
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felispatronus18 hours ago
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Since learning more in therapy about how to validate the feelings of other parts, I鈥檝e been realizing the extreme lengths that some parts go to to get their feelings across, since we tend to default initially to just ignoring, suppressing, or dissociating from emotions. Basically, if we鈥檙e ignoring the parts with strong feelings, they might up the ante by communicating through physical pain or through intrusive trauma images. But the cool thing is that just acknowledging, naming, and validating their feelings drastically decreases the physical pain or flashback symptoms??
Over the weekend we鈥檝e been able to use checking in with parts and validating their feelings to significantly decrease our back pain, and we were also able to use validation to understand why a part kept sending forward images and sensations of one of our traumas in response to certain situations. We鈥檙e hoping that the validation will result in this part triggering us less often, since hopefully if we keep it up they can recognize that they don鈥檛 have to do that in order for us to hear them and take their concerns seriously.
I鈥檓 just sort of shocked at how much is shifting for us just by simply recognizing and validating our feelings. We鈥檙e so used to just suppressing everything because emotions can be so painful and passive influence can be so confusing, but then that gets us stuck in these cycles of chronic pain and dissociation. I just didn鈥檛 realize how much the emotions were living in our body and how we could move through them and let them go? And I didn鈥檛 realize how we can improve our relationships internally and decrease some major challenges just by validating another part鈥檚 feelings and experiences? It鈥檚 hard work sometimes and requires us to be in a quiet spot where we can go inside for a bit, but so far it鈥檚 making a pretty difference for us in terms of managing stressors and triggers.
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dreadfulcalendarwoman18 hours ago
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some quiet n more personal thoughts under the cut (will probs b privated eventually, just wanted to briefly toss em up here)
wrt that last post i reblogged ... lately i鈥檝e been thinking a lot abt my relationship with my first girlfriend, and how fucked up we both were at the time. there鈥檚 not a lot that can be done about it now -- i literally never want to talk to her again, so that kinda puts a damper on any potential apology -- but it鈥檚 just really hard and awful to recognize her as a person who was hurting and myself as someone who did contribute to that.
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fallling-in-winter19 hours ago
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Unfriendly reminder that sending syscourse here will get you blocked and we will simply ignore it
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stingystringcheese23 hours ago
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Hey all- just wanna remind you to read our BYF! We鈥檝e noticed an account that鈥檚 in our DNI interacting with our blog, this person is someone we cannot block but regardless we鈥檇 appreciate it if said person and anyone associated with them to please stop interacting and following us- it causes us a lot of stress and anxiety! Thank you a lot
Adding on- this is the third or so time we have asked to be left alone and allowed to move on from the people in our DNI, it would be very much appreciated if people would respect our wishes
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arumieea day ago
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eren, armin, mikasa, & jean & kisses
i just needed to get this word vomit out of my drafts please, i鈥檒l probs do a part two at some point with more characters聽
warnings: lil spicy- like implied spicy but nothing crazy. 聽
路锘 路 鈹堚攢鈹鈹鈹鈹鈹鈹 鈰嗎煿 鉁┷熪熲壄 鈹鈹鈹鈹鈹鈹鈹鈹 路 路
eren: okok so i know eren loves聽kissing but it's not his favorite thing if that makes sense?? that being said i feel as if eren is a really passionate kisser. he鈥檚 not really one for little pecks or anything ( of course unless you ask for them ) he鈥檚 more the type to grab your face in his hands and kiss you all deep- a little sloppy because he knows you like it that way, or you absolutely hate it and you sort of just deadpan then he鈥檒l presses little kisses all over your face until you鈥檙e smiling and then he kisses you forreal. when eren kisses, he kisses with motive. lazy kisses are a thing too but they just don鈥檛 happen as often- or normally if he's in a mood he鈥檒l sit you on his lap have his hands situated on your hips and he鈥檒l lean in little and make you meet him in the middle and once you do he鈥檒l press close lipped kisses against your lips and then one of his hands will travel up to the side of your neck and pull you into him. he鈥檒l let out a huff of air through his nose when your lips mean and actually kiss you- teeth nipping at your bottom lip and little groans鈥檒l slip聽through. eren loves when you whine into his mouth and at that point it turns into bruising kisses and bites trailing down your neck and oh man i think about kissing eren sometimes.聽
armin: armin is so precious okay, he鈥檚 the type to still get really embarrassed when you guys kiss and it鈥檚 so cute???? ya鈥檒l have been together for while and liked each other for even longer but whenever you go to kiss him- especially when it鈥檚 you initiating it right before your lips meet you can feel the breath he sucks in and despite him being so flustered he鈥檚 always so eager to kiss you. armin loves kissing your fingers like he鈥檚 the type to hold your hands ad kiss the pads of your fingertips. but like not even to see you smile or giggle or anything- he鈥檚 just showing that he loves you in every little way that he can. he gets a little bold in the morning and he鈥檒l pepper kisses along your shoulders up to the spot right under your ear that he knows riles you up- until you鈥檙e stirring awake and scrunching your neck and its so cute pls. kissing armin, i swear to god makes you feel like an ethereal being- like, he鈥檚 so responsive?? you could just nip at his lower lip and he鈥檒l be gasping into your mouth and you can feel the shuttering breath he lets out before he licks his way into your mouth. i鈥檓 100% sure that armin could cum just from kissing you.聽
mikasa:聽hear me out- mikASA IS SO FUCKING SOFT OKAY I DON鈥橳 CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS PLEASE. her eyes literally gleam every time you kiss her. the first time you guys kiss her eyes stayed close for a few seconds after you pulled back and she took her bottom lip into her mouth and just sighed around a smile. mikasa like armin gets all shy about kisses but 聽really only the ones that catch her off guard. little cheek kisses are her weakness or the ones that always land right at the corner of her mouth when you鈥檙e rushing out of the house bc you're late for something- they never fail to turn her into a puddle. one of her favorite things is cupping your face at the end of the day and kissing you all soft like a 鈥渨elcome home鈥 and then it turning into an聽鈥渋 missed you鈥 with her hands on your shoulders and she鈥檒l nuzzle into your neck and place a little kiss at your pulse point and wrap her arms around your waist and then finally the softest, most chaste kiss slightly below your collarbone but above your heart as an聽鈥渋 love you鈥. juST imagine how soft kissing mikasa is please oh my goodness. which honestly just turns your entire world on it鈥檚 side when it鈥檚 not at all soft and she鈥檚 all biting lips and moans and perfectly timed grinds with wandering hands and fingers bruising all over you
jean: oh my, jean- kissing is his favorite thing. because聽there's so much under the kissing category he just never gets bored. but but just see jean like planting the biggest, most obnoxious kiss on your cheek while you鈥檙e in the bathroom getting ready or something and you鈥檙e just like聽鈥榯his goofball鈥 and roll your eyes and he鈥檚 like 鈥渨hat goofball?鈥 and then he鈥檒l just start smooching literally any space he can see/reach on you, until you鈥檙e giggling and begging him to stop and he鈥檚 just聽鈥渨ow a man can鈥檛 even express his love鈥 and he鈥檒l pout and make you kiss him to make it up to him bc he鈥檚 childish therefore he鈥檚 withholding from kisses. he鈥檚 so silly. but also, jean actually kissing you, is so tender- he鈥檚 such a soft guy and he kisses your hand and your forehead and the apples of your cheeks and the corner of your lips. i feel as if there鈥檚 a necklace, a ring, or a bracelet you both gave each other and he kisses that if you aren鈥檛 there.聽jean鈥檚 kisses are prayers, the praise, the thanksgiving, the confession, the amen.聽please he鈥檚 so- imagine you both joking around and he gets that look in his eye and he鈥檚 so soft and he just cups your cheeks or tilts your chin up to him and places a chaste kiss to your lips. which leads to him kissing your neck and he just trails down your body in soft fluttering touches and kisses it almost tickles. god i just see him- the both of you- one hand holding onto each other so tight and the light catches on the metal of the anklet he gave you and he squeezes your hand and he looks at you falling apart under him by his touch and he聽drags the anklet back up to your ankle, the one that's resting on his shoulder before placing a kiss upon it and then continues to unravel you. oh my god, this man- i see him- he's so. amen.聽
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toothsystema day ago
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Me: Hey guys we should probably get our life together and also I think we should start by making our room nicer, more organised, ect. What 'style' should we go for.
馃尲: Minecraft!
馃: Sharks. Maybe an indoor pool...
馃獡+馃悮: The blood of our enemies
馃挜: My room is fine
馃敭: If I don't have a fur suit by the time we're 23 I sweat to fucking god
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mexicanvanillabeana day ago
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i've been watching forged in fire lately
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professorspork2 days ago
Floating Array Anon here! Those are all really good points! And I'll concede that "weapon" was probably not the best term to use. I just think there's a really interesting debate to be had about the moral implications of creating (or raising) a sentient being for a specific purpose, especially if that purpose involves violence and death. There's a conversation somewhere in there between Penny and Pietro that I really want to see, since Pietro might blame himself in a way for his daughter's fate.
Oh, absolutely! [And here鈥檚 that Floating Array post, for those of you just tuning in.]
Part of what鈥檚 interesting here is that the show has encouraged us not to think of Pietro that way, because Ironwood is right there. I was going to make a聽鈥淧enny has two dads鈥 joke about it, but the crux of it, really, is that she doesn鈥檛. She has one boss, and one dad. Whereas Ironwood consistently talks about her like a tool to be used (鈥淧enny is completely under my control鈥) or a robot as unfeeling as he is (鈥淚f there is no Mantle then there is no reason for you not to work with me鈥), Pietro unequivocally thinks of her as his daughter. That鈥檚 what he tells the kids-- 鈥渕y daughter鈥檚 told me so much about you.鈥 Obviously the big crowning moment of this is in Amity, when he straight up says he does not care about saving the world, he doesn鈥檛 want her in danger. He wants her to live her life. But that wasn鈥檛 an eleventh hour first-time admission. He鈥檚 been consistent about this as long as we鈥檝e known him. I鈥檓 thinking about his conversation with Ruby in Worst Case Scenario as a sort of prime example. He frets over聽鈥渨hat people want to do to my girl,鈥 and then explains:
Pietro: When the General first challenged us to find the next breakthrough in defense technology, most of my colleagues pursued more obvious choices. I was one of the few who believed in looking inward for inspiration. Ruby: You wanted a protector with a soul. Pietro: I did. And when General Ironwood saw her, he did too.聽
Every time Pietro talks about Penny in terms of what she can do, her purpose... it鈥檚 voiced through other people. The General wanted defense technology. Ruby鈥檚 the one who calls her a protector; he just agrees.聽
The moral quandary Pietro needs to reckon with isn鈥檛 that he made a weapon and called it a girl (see: Rhodes and Cinder), or that he raised a girl and called her a weapon (see: Marcus and Mercury Black). It鈥檚 that he was asked to make a weapon, and instead he raised a girl, and now he buries his head in the sand and despairs when she and everyone around her still talks about her in terms of violence and utility. Penny believes she鈥檚 not a weapon, most of the time, but she鈥檚 a little shakier about what she is, instead.聽And no wonder, because Pietro鈥檚 been dodging the question since day one. He delivered the opposite of what was asked for and then let himself pretend that鈥檚 not what happened.聽Ironwood asked for a thing--聽a thing that would stand between Atlas and the darkness, a thing that could protect people... ostensibly so PEOPLE wouldn鈥檛 have to get hurt. But Ironwood isn鈥檛 squeamish about this because of human cost, he鈥檚 intent on it because of efficiency. What鈥檚 better, squishy soldiers or an army of combat drones? A dozen tiny Huntsman or one fuckoff giant mecha? Of course he greenlit the Penny Project; it鈥檚 all the benefits of a human combatant-- the improvisation, the discernment, the ability to prioritize-- with, as far as he鈥檚 concerned, none of the risks. There鈥檚 no death for a thing that can be rebuilt, and no pesky feelings to deal with. As far as he knows.
But the problem is Pietro made a person instead, and loved her. But everyone else still needed and expected her to be something else, because that鈥檚 what was commissioned. And I don鈥檛 know that Pietro knows how to process his own hand in that, and how poorly it went, without framing it as regret for making her, which he absolutely doesn鈥檛. So what would coming to terms with that look like, instead? If Pietro were to blame himself, he鈥檇 say something like聽鈥淚 never should have let them use her like that.鈥 But she was made to be used-- he would never have had a Penny to lose in the first place if he hadn鈥檛 agreed to make a military asset. There is no scenario where he could have woken up one day and made himself a daughter; he鈥檇 never have gotten the funding or materials. He must learn to accept the chicken with the egg. How does he square his complacency with the Atlas war machine with his pride in what he did in spite of it? How does he make amends to someone he doomed by making, when she became so much? I don鈥檛 know. That鈥檚 not an easy question to answer. Ozpin鈥檚 had thousands of years to dwell on it and he still hasn鈥檛 figured it out.
Because the thing is, Pietro鈥檚 waffling over her purpose got Penny鈥檚 sense of identity caught in the middle. She鈥檚 getting mixed messages. So many of her most important conversations are about her struggling to figure out if her experience is universal or only her burden to bear. Ruby (and to some extent, Winter) must reassure her over and over: no, that鈥檚 normal, everyone feels like that, your emotions are relatable and also valid. She feels so much guilt--聽for not being optimal, or for not following orders. She wasn鈥檛 able to single-handedly keep the Grimm out of Mantle and therefore ensure everything else could go as planned; she wasn鈥檛 able to save Fria; she stole Winter鈥檚 destiny from her. If she were what they made her to be, surely she wouldn鈥檛 have failed, right? It鈥檚 why it鈥檚 heartbreaking when she pulls Ruby aside in Refuge:
鈥淚 was the protector of Mantle, but now, I am much more than that... and I wish I was not.鈥
But the thing is, if they bring her back-- and this is one of the many reasons I believe they have to-- she won鈥檛 be.
Finally.
This has been the goal all along. Ruby outwitted Ambrosius because she was desperate to get Penny out from under the burden of her terrible purpose-- to do what she鈥檚 ordered to, to be at the beck and call of those who outrank her, or die trying. And then Penny went and sacrificed herself anyway, which: of course she did. Because she was taught it was all she was good for, if you want to be mean about it, or-- or because she thought it was the right thing to do, if you鈥檙e forgiving. It鈥檚 the same thing any of her friends would do, if they were in her shoes. I鈥檓 giving you a head start. That鈥檚 what love looks like; it鈥檚 the choice heroes make. Isn鈥檛 it?
But to get at the root of the problem, we have to rewind back further.聽Penny was reactivated the first time not because Pietro wanted her to be (though surely he did), but because she had a job to do. The contract wasn鈥檛 finished; Ironwood wasn鈥檛 going to give up on his fancy new toy just because it fell apart.聽But now? There鈥檚 no more Mantle to protect. Atlas has fallen. And beyond that-- her friends don鈥檛 need her to be the Maiden, either. That鈥檚 a mutable title, and one that has passed her by; they still have one, even with her gone.
So this next time around... she鈥檒l have the chance to process why she made the decisions she did, and to move past it, because she鈥檒l know how much she鈥檚 worth to them. Not the Penny Project, not the Winter Maiden, but Penny Polendina.
Which is to say: they don鈥檛 need her, they just want her.聽
They want her.聽
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