#t: What Is Love?

[transmascissues]

it’s so funny to me that people used to try to warn me “if you go on t it won’t make you androgynous it’ll just make you look like a man” because 1) i do want to look like a man, that is famously a major part of being a trans man but also 2) t literally has made me androgynous?? like they were wrong on both counts. i got most of the looking-like-a-man changes that i wanted (deep voice, broader body, hair all over my body including my face) and i also give every single cis person in a five mile radius a stroke every time they try to figure out my gender. the assumption that trans men wouldn’t actually want to look like men and the assumption that cis people are good at correctly gendering us once we’re on t are both weird as hell.

#people said this to me all the fucking time pre t #to the point that it did almost make me too afraid to go on t bc ‘what if they’re right and i don’t really want to look like a man?’ #but it turns out that was bullshit on so many levels #i look ‘like a man’ now and love it and also am the most androgynous person most cis people i meet have ever seen #y’all just don’t know how t works at fucking all #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs

[marzipanandminutiae]

as a woman who grew up with an emotionally abusive mother constantly telling me I needed to wear more makeup/more revealing clothing/date (boys) more/go out to "normal" parties more, I despise "she should be at the club"

god forbid some people- especially young women, who already have to deal with a thousand different behavioral standards from a thousand different directions -not have the same dreams and desires for their lives as you do for yours

fucking hell. the correct response to "women should stay at home and have kids and be submissive wives" prescriptivism was not MORE PRESCRIPTIVISM

(I also just saw a poll asking if people partied as teenagers, and OP responded that the answers were "killing them" because No was winning. like? why is everyone so personally invested in other people having a very specific kind of fun?)

#memes #s t o p telling women what to do #being the partying type does not automatically equal being a Free Independent Woman and vice versa #guess what? I'm a 30-year-old lesbian with no kids (yet) and a career and I have NEVER liked clubbing. #I didn't like it when I was 19 or 21 or 25 and I still don't like it now #(I do love my mother; we have a complicated relationship. but the fact is that she did some things fitting the definition of emotional abus

[koiihpon]

Don’t wait up…

colored this panel from @thegunnsara's Back to the Past comic (part 6) :]

the bottom panel was so striking when I first saw it that I just needed to color it heheh sorry it took a while to finish ><

orig under cut vvvv

#the title is literally nothing I just pulled it out of my ass bcus I wanted a title #first thing I thought of and I didn't want to overthink it wwww #I hope you like it sara #your art is very inspiring to me <3 #I'm still learning tho so don't look at it too hard -3- I don't really know what I'm doing #rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt au #fuckinnnn idk what else to tag #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #koii.png #me posting #I love coloring shit like this it just takes me so long to finish them T-T

[demaparbat-hp]

I believe July is trying to tell you something, Nico.

#NEW HYPERFIXATION EVERYONE #trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #vashwood #nicholas d wolfwood #wolfwood #I'm new here I don't know the tags help #tristamp #vash x wolfwood #trigun meme #trimax #vashwood week #Funny how these things work #I had no idea of what trigun was about #Then I see like ONE picture of Wolfwood and I'm like #This is it. You're the one. My favourite character ever. I love you. #And then I look up what the series is about. #Crazy that Nico actually fits my type of character to a t #Dark gloomy type who hides behind irony and sarcasm and dark humor? Check. Childhood trauma? Check. #Unknown intentions at first but eventually falls in love with the one they should/must betray? Check. #He was made for me. I know it. #So uh. #I should really really look up the tags for this. #trigun 98 #I guess. #Time to do field research #Btw is there a discord for Trigun/Vashwood stuff? There must be. I want in. #tristamp vash #I did this in like 30 min and TOMBI was playing in my head the entire time. I need help. The series's great but the song is killing me.

[pocketgalaxies]

C1E60 || C3E88

#critical role #criticalroleedit #vex'ahlia #imogen temult #laura bailey #gifs #* #*cr #*parallel #cr1 #cr3 #vex'ahlia cr #syldor vessar #liliana temult #r: vex x imogen #angst tag #nova shh #cr meta #47m c1e60 #3h12m c3e88 #laura bailey said it's all about the blood of you mixed into the blood of me whether i like it or not and what does that mean #because it certainly doesn't seem to mean that you love me. #and how can i love you when you were supposed to raise me and protect me and care for me and you didn't #how can i love you when you were supposed to teach me what love is and instead you only taught me hate and loneliness #and why is there a part of me that still desperately hopes that you do love me? that you could bring yourself to love me? #and then the part that makes me go even more batshit crazy: THEY HAVE /MET/ EACH OTHER. THESE TWO WOMEN HAVE M E T #*SCREAMS FOR SEVEN THOUSAND HOURS STRAIGHT*

[nothatsmi]

"A hundred and one. Going on a hundred and two." "You're a terrible liar."

He lived,,

I'm beyond the point where I can use words to describe them anymore.

Just know that I drew this instead of working and I'll probably keep drawing them more even tho the work's piling up-

I'm not even kidding, it's terrible how much they invade my brain, like I'm always either thinking about them or drawing about them or saving pins on Pinterst about them (the board is getting pretty stuffed), everything i see is ORANGE at this point (it's my favorite color fortunately so I don't mind).

Still not done with the third book btw. I try to make it last as long as I can but I constantly want to read so the end is getting dangerously near...

Next I'll probably draw Dan and/or the other foxes, cause let's be honest they're all so cool...

#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #hihi they're kissing #but they #hate each other #of course #i'm just past the point where andrew broke his promise with his brother for neil's sake #this my man is not what i consider a fling #the way they CARE omg i'm going mad #also i switched their t-shirt colors for once? not relevant but #fucked up orange pricks i love them #noah's aftg series

[ruporas]

invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash���s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:) #in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is. #mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

[gunstellations]

a little family

#buddy daddies #my art #doodles #sometimes a family is an two misfit assassins and the daughter of the guy you offed and thats a okay #but lets not talk about that #we love healing in this house and how do you heal if not after suffering #reis journey through depression and kazukis journey through grief #what 1 little girl does to a man #its 5 am all i can offer are doodles but i love them very much #i know we do reasonably get to call them cowards for not making it gay (esp at the end bc come on) #but i do love whatever relationship they have going becuase theyre just. Thats marriage babe.... #theyre not going to be doing any dating with that committment that is the most domestic ass setting ive ever seen #everyone and their mother assumes theyre married/dating and doesnt even question it because theres NO QUESTION T O ASK #only the people involved apparently dont know theyre married #ok nvm they were cowards for not making it gay. but again. theyre clearly married your honor. theyre just a little stupid

[transmascissues]

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

#when i say i love helping people beat their fears about t this is what i mean. i will simply write a whole essay about it #some people might think it’s silly to answer a question like this so extensively #but i don’t think it is! i feel like this is a really common fear but also one i don’t see talked about much #maybe because it’s so common among cis guys that people don’t see it as a question to ask in trans spaces? idk #but i think we should talk about it more. especially when transphobes use it as a way to talk shit about t #ask answered #testosterone #hrt #ftm hrt #hair loss #trans men #transmascs

[bj-cuntycunt]

Kirk saying this at the beginning of The Search for Spock doesn't mean a lot considering the fact that in TOS he puts his life in danger a considerable amount of times to save other people.

BUT !!! The fact that he ends up risking/losing three things that he considers more valuable than his own life -his son, his career and the Enterprise- and he still thinks it's worth it because Spock is back... INSANE! It's true love, baby!

#if he hadn't tried the cost would've been his soul #as in spock is his soul #i don't think he would've stolen and destroyed the enterprise for anyone else #i don't know what else to say... they were in love #spirk #tos spirk #james t kirk #spock #star trek tos #star trek iii #star trek iii: the search for spock

[fluffyartbl0g]

Someone get this man a younger sibling that ISNT like. Twice his height.

#one piece #op fanart #monkey d. luffy #shirahoshi #kozuki momonosuke #IVE FINISHED REREADING THROUGH WANO IM OBSESSED WITH MOMONOSUKE NOW #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH T - T!!!! #literally tears streaming down my face ‘But I think of you like a little brother! #You’ve heard of laser beam that make you read one piece #get ready for laser beam that makes you REREAD one piece #srsly. do it. I didn’t care about characters like bellamy or shirahoshi or even momonosuke all that much on my first read through #IM OBSESSED NOW. I LOVE HARUDJIN THE GIANT TOO AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE MORE OF HIM T - T!!! I ALSO DIDNT CARE ABOUT KATAKURI LIKE AT ALL #NOW I CANT GET ENOUGH #also what the actual heck guys. I know its only been a couple of months since wano ended. #but why aren’t there any fics centred on luffy and momo being brothers… There’s like one on ao3 and it’s in italian… #PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY SLEEPING SO HARD ON LUFFY BEING THE OLDER BROTHER/MENTOR TO BOTH MOMO AND SHIRAHOSHI #IM SO MAD #SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO ARE BOTH THE CHOSEN ONES ; - ;!!! AND LUFFY HAS BEEN PROHPESIZED TO HELP GUIDE THEM TO USE THEIR POWERS!!! #eg shirahoshi hearing the voices of the sea kings and momo hearing zunesha #both times luffy hasn’t been able to talk to them… but he’s been able to guide his younger siblings to use their powers properly #No im fr obsessed with luffy and shirahoshi and momo WHERE THE GOD DAMN FANFICTION AAAGFRGEHSHHSHSHS #LUFFY TREATING SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO THE SAME WAY ACE TREATED HIM WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER T - T #KILL ME AAAAA1!!1!1!1!!1!1!1 #99 percent of all tags on my posts are just me freaking out LMAOOOO

[entomolog-t]

Ayo~ Red and Brick for both Sal and Mark on the color OC ask post? Loving them :D

"What don't you like?"

-----

Screaming.

This is probably the biggest piece I've ever done and it's from an ask I've been chipping away at for months.

When inspiration strikes it strikes hard.

A background??? LIGHTIING??? Who even am I?

#Bonus points to whoever spies the lil easter egg/reference #What don't I like? *looks at Sal* #I was gunna redraw Betty now that I have a ton of refs for her but I've spent too many hours on this n was not about to redo a whole panel #JSSFHLASKFH #I'm so happy this is done??? #AH #I love them #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t community #g/t art #g/t prompts #g/t artist #entodraws #Macro/micro #size tumblr #size difference #extreme size difference #TSWC #SalOC #MarkOC #BettyOC #Spider #Jumping spider #cw spiders #cw blood #The Shadow We Cast #mini comic #short comic

[captainofthestrangestship]

Like I know this is just supposed to be some friendly ribbing about the differences in build between Kelley and Urban but its way more fun to interpret it as TOS Kirk wanting to fuck AOS McCoy.

#star trek #AOS #TOS #leonard mccoy #james t kirk #mckirk #IDW comics #sorry i dont make the rules #what can i say i like the idea of tos!Kirk/aos!mccoy #i think part of it is because tos!kirk would be the older one and that would change their dynamic #tos!kirk would be like why do you never smile? #i wonder if aos!mccoy would find it hard to believe that tos!kirk cheated on the kobayashi maru #he would be insulted on his jim's behalf that he got rewarded for it instead of put on review #i just think it would be fun to force them to interact #love TOS McCoy being like IM TOO BUSY TOO WORKOUT JIM

[averagegtenjoyer]

Being loomed over. Receiving little flirty comments from someone a hundred times your size. Your difference in size and power is nearly indescribable - you can barely comprehend how large they must be even as you look at them. Their voice comes out as a low rumble, their body moving slower than normal due to the dilation of time caused by their size (or, perhaps, your size), and as their hand reaches down towards you impossibly slowly, you still cant escape it, in all of its vastness. A finger taller than you are poking you in the stomach and causing you to nearly topple over. The larger is on another plane of existence, in a way. But as they look down at you with such infatuation, regardless of your survival instinct telling you to run, your pounding heart, and your trembling form, you feel oddly safe. Its nice to be doted on a little. To be observed by eyes larger than your torso. To be treated gently by something that could crush you like a bug. To be loved by something beyond comprehension. Erm. Yeah.

#g/t #giant/tiny #sfw g/t #gt #giant tiny #g/t writing #i love giants i love tinies i love the dynamic so much eep #we do a little time dilation as a treat #big slow lumbering giants my beloved #giant: i could eat you rn #me: twirls hair and then what

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

AGH FASHION DESIGNER SUGURU AND MODEL SATORU W A NEW INTERN DESIGNER UNDER THEIR WING 😞😞☹️ - 🌺

WAHHHH I LOVE THIS 🥺🥺🥺 the pining and flirting and slowburn of it all… model!satoru and his favorite designer suguru geto, both of them undeniably skilled and born with an eye for fashion….. well-known and adored……..

designer!suguru who gets tasked with showing you the ropes, who’s always so patient and kind despite your inexperience. diligent with his teaching but also so laidback, so easy to talk to… he looks intimidating, but he’s so polite that you can’t help but swoon a little. and he admires your enthusiasm so much…… grows fond of you soooo quickly bc you’re just such a breath of fresh air compared to the divas he’s forced to work with all the time. he thinks you’ve got real potential and he wants to nurture it.

and ofc you end up running into model!satoru eventually…. bc he’s always hanging around suguru whenever he gets the chance. and he’s maybe a little jealous that you’re hogging so much of his personal designer’s attention, but… he also thinks you’re so cute . T_T like a little puppy following suguru around… so excited to be apart of something you’ve dreamed of for so many years……… he looks into your eyes and sees the same sparkle he had before he made it big, and it makes his heart race.

yeah . i’m just thinking abt the peaceful coffee breaks with suguru….. how he’d insist on paying for your drink, ”since he’s your senior” (he wants to be your favorite </3)…… and how he’d just be so protective over his little intern. don’t get me started on the close proximity with satoru when you’re taking his measurements, the glance and smile he sends your way during an impromptu shoot… the way he always calls for you with a sweet coo of ”how’s my favorite intern doing today?”

😔😔😔 yeahhhhhh. they make me feel ill.

#thank you 🌺 anon my beloved….. i am kissing your beautiful brain #😭😭😭😭 now i kinda wanna write this oh no #my anons keep making my wip list longer this isn’t fair T—T #(i love you all very much) #NO BUT THIS IS SO BIGBRAINED IT’S INSANE #fashion designer!sugu the loml…. model!satoru just feels so natural too #i think they’re both very mature!!!!!!! #there are some aus where i think satoru would lean towards his more bratty hs self #but here i feel like he’s similar to the way he is in canon :3 just. silly and goofy and passionate abt what he does #AND very fond of youth. of people with lofty goals and dreams and starlight in their eyes #(<- has gotten carried away) #YOU GET IT THOUGH i know you’ll see the vision 🌺 anon 🫂🫂🫂 we’re holding hands #i need them both #need suguru to buy me expensive coffee while satoru feeds me pieces of a pastry #for some reason i keep thinking of coffee breaks i might. just be hungry 😭😭😭 #ask tag ✩ #🌺 anon !! ✩ #geto x reader #gojo x reader #stsg x reader #satosugu x reader #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader