#taehyung smut
jimilter · a day ago
holding you like this (m) | k.th. | one-shot
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Taehyung didn't anticipate seeing you tonight, least of all with a date by your side, but he guesses it'll be okay because it has been over five years since he last saw you and he has moved on. But the air is far from cleared between you both. So when confrontations start to happen, all of the pain from his past he thought he had overcome makes itself known, unwelcome.
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pairing: taehyung x reader rating: m (18+) genre: angst, smut, humor, estranged lovers!au, club owner!taehyung, journalist!reader warnings: swearing + misunderstandings + insecurity + angsty confrontations + heartbreak + allusions to infidelity + fainting due to stress + semi-public sex + explicit sexual situations (breast play, fingering, oral (m), penetrative sex, rough sex, dirty talk, degradation) <3 word count: 18 k
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↣ for Resolution Revolution, an ny22 collab i co-hosted with my love, @knjsnoona​​​​​​​! <3
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note: this fic was meant to be a light-hearted one to contrast the sad trope i was assigned for the fest, and was to be posted in january –  but then it underwent a world of changes (name and genre) and is now a gut-wrenching mess, being delivered five months late. i am so sorry. :| 
the biggest thank you goes to my precious soybean @missgeniality​​​ for being my life support when i felt lost and had so many doubts abt this fic, and then also betaing it for me later, like a fairy godmother. this literally would not be here without you!!! ily 😭 also, thank you to my naifey bby @opaljm​​​ for naming the fic outta the payphone lyrics in, like, 5 seconds!!! ily <333
PS. the past scenes are in italics and written in past tense, but seamlessly blend (without a divider) into the fic’s present narrative, only differentiated by the present tense and non-italicised text, so pay attention to that!
i hope y'all masochists like the way this hurts~ 💜
dedicated ⇝ to ridzietta @taegularities​​​ <3 was supposed to be your late b'day present in jan, but guess now it's just an attempted payback for my broken kidneys. i love you, baby (:
— masterlist | feedback | support me!
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"You've got to be kidding me…"
Kim Taehyung peers over the balustrade of the ballroom – past the black and white balloons, lights, streamers and huge chandeliers that cast red and white shadows over the entire hall – with a disappointed frown.
"What?" asks the girl with the letter pad in her hands. "What is it, Mister Kim?"
An accusatory finger shoots up in the air, arm propped parallel to his shoulder as he points at the pair that just entered the hall.
"What guest list is she on?"
The party planner's wide eyes take in the object of his ire, squinting to get a better look, before she quickly turns back to her tab and makes a few successive clicks. 
"Oh! She – she isn't on one, but—"
"Ha! Knew it! Why would she even—"
"—she's actually someone's plus one, Mister Kim."
Wait, what?
His scowl dissolves into an expression of shock, mouth forming an 'o' as he gawks at the party planner. "Who – whose plus one?"
The girl makes some more clicks and nods. "One of Mister Park's guests."
Of fucking course it'd be his own best friend stirring up a storm in his life. Taehyung should've strangled the idiot when they were ten – when Jimin didn't have so many muscles to one up him.
The girl next to him suddenly puts a finger to her comms, speaking discreetly, before turning to him with a guilty smile. "I have to take care of something, sir. But please, feel free to call me anytime if there's a problem."
Taehyung gives her a dismissive nod, eyes still stuck to the figure in the red gown floating through the crowd with an arm holding onto a man. He wills himself to look away before he is caught staring, but he kind of cannot.
He always used to love to see you dressed in red. 
Something about the colour has always fit your fiery spirit just so perfectly. Fondness starts to seep into his mind along with recollections. He remembers how wearing red would reflect beautifully on your face, making your eyes sparkle with confidence. And as evident by your form moving about with your shoulders rolled back and head straight, that fact remains unchanged. 
Taehyung also remembers this gorgeous red lipstick you always wore with this shade that made him lose a bit of his mind.
How he could never wait to ruin it.
How he did always ruin it before the end of the night, earning himself your whines of complaints that he would proceed to replace with whines of pleasure.
→ six years ago;
“Hm, that is a lovely shade of red on you,” Taehyung murmured into your hair, peeking into your reflection in the mirror as you applied your lipstick. 
“Don’t shake my hand!” You shoved him away, rolling your eyes. “And this colour is literally the same shade as this dress you bought me…”
"Then my choice is lovely," he cheekily amended, raising his hands up in surrender when you glared at him through the mirror.
Taehyung stepped away, appreciating the curve of your ass in the fitted knee-length, halter neck dress he had bought for you to wear to the event you two were attending tonight. The naked span of your back called out to him, so he dipped his head to press a wet kiss in the middle of your spinal column, relishing the responding gasp and arch of your back you gave him.
“My lipstick’s gonna be ruined!”
Pants suddenly tightening at the unintended innuendo in your words, Taehyung grabbed you by the arm and twirled you around to press your ass into your vanity table, hips digging into your own. Your eyes looked surprised but also a shade darker than their natural disposition, and that was all the go-ahead he needed to capture your half painted lips in a searing kiss.
Length hardening and forehead breaking out in sweat, Taehyung’s tuxedo was starting to feel too tight, when your eager hands suddenly untucked his shirt to run up his torso. His teeth nipped at your tongue before tangling his own with it, fingers lifting the edge of your dress up to your waist to explore the ruined state of your panties.
“Tae,” your breathless gasp followed the smack of your detaching lips. “We’re gonna be late…”
His fingers made slow swirls over your wet panties, gaze stuck to yours as he slowly nodded. “Yes, we are. Do you wanna stop?”
You were such a sight with his favourite shade of red all over your mouth, but Taehyung would practice absolute control over his raging hormones if that was what you wanted. It wasn’t, though, confirmed by the whimper you let out with a quick shake of your head.
“Can we be qui–quick?” Your broken words were a result of intense arousal and not shyness, he knew, because you were anything but shy about your sexual desires.
Pressing a huffing laugh into your shoulder, he shook his head. “You know I can’t be quick, baby. Especially not now, when your ruined lipstick is making me want to see it painted elsewhere…”
You whined, craning your neck when he sucked on the flesh of your throat beneath your jaw. “Wh–where?”
“My cock.”
And without any hesitation, you had stripped off your dress, knelt before him in just your very matching pair of lingerie, and proceeded to let him fuck your throat without complaints, if some quality sounds of pleasure. You’d been an hour late to the event, but neither of you had cared.
A shiver runs up his spine at the ghost of your sounds suddenly echoing in his head, and Taehyung snaps out of it with a shake of his head.
All of it is in the past now. Distant past. 
Taehyung forces his lips down to a straight line, angry at himself for reacting like a lovelorn idiot. You and your relationship is behind him, way behind him, and that's where it should stay. And despite your unexpected presence here tonight, that is where it remains. 
It does, right?
Of course, it does. It has to.
He’d be a pathetic idiot to still swoon over your strapless, form-fitted red gown when you are here with a date that is not him, because you broke up with him, five years ago. And maybe half a decade should normally be enough time to stop resenting someone for an ended relationship, but Taehyung has not been able to trust another person again after the way you broke his heart and walked out of his life. But that doesn't mean he hasn't moved on; because he has. He may not have been able to fully commit, but he sure has had short affairs and flings whenever he has wanted to, which have all helped him get over you. He has stopped thinking about you; stopped caring, stopped missing you, stopped giving a damn. Like any sane person would.
So he doesn’t swoon over you, despite his initial reaction. Not at all, not even a little bit. 
Because he shouldn't – he wouldn't, because you chose to walk all over his heart on your way out of his life. He doesn’t even swoon when you flip your waist-length hair over a bare shoulder, not when your sparkling eyes sweep all-over the place and not even when you give a loud laugh with your head thrown back – and that is a huge feat in his books for which he gives himself a mental pat on his back.
“Ow!” he yelps, startled at how real the pat on the back felt – and how strong?
“Save any remaining self-respect you have and stop fucking ogling her when she’s here with a date,” comes a reprimanding hiss in a very familiar voice.
Taehyung turns around to scowl at Jimin. “I wasn’t ogling her.”
“Sure.” His best friend looks at him unamused, lifting the champagne flute in his hand to Taehyung’s eye-level. “And this isn’t my eighth glass of the night.”
“Wait—eighth? You okay, bro?” Concerned, he looks Park Jimin up and down, wide eyed. Did the guy recently face some emotional crisis that he hasn’t told Taehyung about? He looks fine on the surface—
“For fuck’s sake, Tae.” Jimin rolls his eyes with a groan. “Stop looking so worried, I’m fine. I just despise these high-society… things.” He grimaces, gaze making a round of the entire venue. “You already know that.”
“Well we kinda have to have these things, buddy, because running a club isn’t all about training bartenders,” Taehyung reminds the other man, chuckling when he receives a petulant pout in return. “Chim, you still won’t let Jungwon make you your strawberry daiquiri! It’s, like, the most simplest cocktail ever! Let the kid live!”
“Hey!” Jimin narrows his eyes in challenge, downing the champagne in a quick gulp – Taehyung covertly winces at the sight – and reminds Taehyung that, “running a club isn’t all about auditioning performers, either! You went through fourteen acts and didn’t like a single one, remember, Mister Genius Entrepreneur?”
Taehyung would have responded with another remark, maybe brought Jimin’s attention to the fact that his own actions were more justified because he actually went to a performing arts school unlike Jimin who is a business major meddling with mixing drinks and being a perfectionist – but, he is suddenly reminded of the reason why he was ogling-or-not-ogling you. 
"Hey, who the fuck is that buff-ass guy she's here with, anyway?" he asks the man with a scowl, plucking a champagne flute from a passing-by waiter, swatting at Jimin's hand when he moves to pick one. "And enough with the drinking!"
Rolling his eyes, Jimin glances over the railing at you, frowning in concentration. "Hm… I don't exactly recognise him? Maybe he's someone from dad's company."
"Your dad's—" Taehyung cuts himself off to release a strangulated groan. "Jimin. Why do we have people from your dad's company here?"
The man has the audacity to shrug his shoulders. "You said we needed a crowd to make an impression."
Taehyung wants to punch a wall but diverts the urge with punching his best friend's bicep – no less firmer than a wall, though – and rakes a flustered hand through his hair, before immediately realising he got it done at a salon today and he just flushed down the toilet the entire two-something hours he had to sit still for this. The wince Jimin gives him confirms his suspicion, and he hangs his head to let his best friend attempt to coif the disturbed strands back in their place.
“Nope, it’s a bird’s nest now,” Jimin announces after a few seconds’ efforts, kind-hearted as always.
“Well, it is your fault for calling in people from your dad’s office!”
“Hey, people from my dad’s office did not ruin your hair, that was all you!”
Taehyung feels petulant enough to gear up to paw at Jimin’s own head of set hair in revenge, fingers twitching at his side, but he never gets the chance to attack – a jovial ‘hello’ directed at both him and Jimin grabbing his attention.
Jimin peeks past him and Taehyung looks over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised in intrigue. Only to freeze.
It’s… you.
Well, technically, it’s your date, but you’re very much attached to his arm, looking at Taehyung with a blank face and seeming as much at ease as he wishes he was. Because he is not. Hasn’t been since his eyes found you, and truth be told? Hasn’t been ever since you parted ways from him because you have ruined him for another real relationship, but he isn’t ready to have that mental talk yet. 
Struggling, he works hard to keep his eyes off you and focused on your date, a guy seemingly around his age, if a bit younger. 
And an absolute high-class jerk by the looks of his Louis Vuitton suit, Dolce Gabbana loafers and freaking sunglasses he’s wearing indoors. Granted, the ballroom is extraordinarily bright with all the golden chandeliers, but come on. How much of this orange pair of sunglasses actually prevents brightness and how much of it is just snobby fashion? Looking closely, Taehyung notices a lip ring on the guy’s bottom lip and a row of small stones running from his earlobe to the upper lobe area. 
Well, now he's just confused. The LV suit does not match the guy’s street fighter jewellery at all. Just what the hell kind of guys have you been dating?
“Uhm, hello there!” Jimin loudly greets, extending a hand and elbowing Taehyung none too gently, knocking him out of the contorted expressions of distaste he wears. “Park Jimin, one half of the founders of Dionysus. Welcome to the gala!”
The rich asshole flashes a surprisingly guileless grin at Taehyung’s best friend. “You don’t need an introduction, Mister Park,” he laughs, voice higher pitched than would suit his burly frame. “Jeon Jungkook, interning as a Data Analyst at your dad’s company.”
Ugh, yeah right. As if the internship is what has got him all this wealth this guy is showing off. And the most generic post, too – Data Analyst? Taehyung can bet he pulled the name up on the spot.
“Wow, really? That’s amazing!” 
Taehyung’s head snaps to look at Jimin in shock at the sincere happiness in the guy’s voice. Why? This is the enemy! 
No – that is not what he is supposed to be thinking! What the hell is he doing? Your date is not his competition, because he doesn't even want you. He'd be crazy to, after you left him without giving him the second chance he begged for. He doesn't want it now, it's too late.
It… is too late, right?
Maybe? Probably?
Oh, God, does he still want you? Apparently the answer isn't as much of a clear cut negation as he'd thought it would be.
His eyes jump back to you, aware he’s scanning your face like a forlorn lover but unable to mask his eyes when he just found out he isn't over you the way he has been thinking he was. You seem to be resolutely not looking his way but he chooses to take advantage of it and save every bit of you to his memory. You blocked him on all of social media the day you broke up with him and he had enough dignity to not stalk your friends and connections. 
He’s basically seeing you after five whole years.
Your high cheekbones and round cheeks are rouged with colour just the way he knew they’d be because you tend to get warm in indoors gatherings. The fullness of your lips is painted a gorgeous wine red to complement the brighter shade of your off shoulders silk dress, just as he knew it would be. Your lashes fan up to your strong eyebrows, making you look every bit like the Goddess you are. You’re probably wearing heels because you stand taller than usual, coming up closer to his face – just the perfect height for him to tilt his face and—
He gives a harsh blink and snaps his head away from you, tuning back into the conversation happening around them. You aren’t his ex – you’re Jimin’s dad’s employee’s date. He would do well to remember that.
Taehyung watches as you respond to Jimin's greeting, your smile so awkward, even the guy's giggles cannot cover up the grimace that sets upon his face. You and Jimin used to be close when Taehyung and you were together. His best friend decided to distance himself from you, too, as his way of comforting Taehyung. Which he appreciates a lot.
“Can I speak to you in private for a moment, Mister Park?” your date requests, garnering Taehyung's gaze on the guy again.
"Yeah, of course!” Jimin readily nods, probably looking for a way out of this uncomfortable exchange, even though he looks slightly confused just as Taehyung feels. “And please, call me Jimin. Mister Park is my dad.”
Chuckling, the two of them step away, leaving Taehyung standing with a gaping mouth next to you. Jimin looks over his shoulder with a meaningfully raised eyebrow.
“You gonna be okay?”
No. No, he doesn’t think so. He just found out he isn’t as immune to your presence as he thought five years would have made him, and that isn’t okay at all. 
But he isn’t going to be a baby about it, not when he’s the host of the night. So he rolls his shoulders back and flashes his best friend a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine.”
Jimin walks away with your date, leaving Taehyung to awkwardly fidget with his hands. He looks at you from the corner of his eye – to immediately look away when he accidentally meets your gaze. In his peripheral vision, you seem to be fidgeting just as he is, eyes running all across the place to stay away from him.
God, this is so awkward. And dumb.
He clears his throat. “Uh… so…”
His gaze moves to the public on the lower floor to find something to talk about. Oh, there’s a waiter!
Taehyung looks at you, eyes huge and lower lip tucked into his mouth. “Can I get you something to drink, or…?”
You don’t look at him, simply leaning around him to pick up a glass from a tray he had no idea was kept next to him. “No, thanks,” you address him for the first time tonight – your first words to him after more than five years, “already got one.”
Rolling back on his heels, he nods to himself, hands sliding into the pockets of his trousers. What the hell is the 101 for talking to an estranged ex whom he might still have remnant feelings for? Does he make small talk? Ask you how you’ve been? Pretend you’re strangers? Ask you about your date? Tell you about what he’s been doing with his life ever since you parted ways from him? 
Ask you to take him back?
Okay, yeah, definitely not that one.
Ugh. This is terrible.
Taehyung stares at you, long and hard, trying to come up with something better to say – something to get you to stop being so dismissive with him. But all that he finds filling his head are thoughts of how much you’ve changed over the time you’ve spent away from you. His gaze traces the slight crows feet next to your eyes, the slight sunken feel to your eyes, tightness around your mouth, narrowing of your nose. You’re wearing heavier than usual makeup. But then again, many of your ‘usuals’ ought to have changed now.
Unwittingly, he catches the sight of your empty wrist and is immediately reminded of the matching charms bracelets you’d bought the two of you. Even though he doesn’t wear it anymore – because, well, he thought he had moved on – he still has it safely kept in a locker, back at home.
He wonders if you threw yours away. Maybe he should, too. Would help with the indifference he's trying to achieve.
Clearing his throat when the awkward silence becomes suffocating, Taehyung chooses the safest path and talks about the club.
“I and Jimin had been planning Dionysus for over a year,” he begins, doing a mental fist pump when your gaze immediately flicks to him. “Feels good to be finally launching it."
Your gaze seems to soften slightly. Pulling the glass from your lips, you clear your throat and nod as you look away. "Congratulations." You jerk your chin towards the lower floor that is bustling with people. "Seems like a successful launch."
Instantly bashful at the subtle praise, his hand self-consciously goes to his hair – before he remembers how he has already messed it up. He makes a detour to his neck, cupping his fingers around the back beneath the suddenly too tight collar of his shirt.
“Well, uh, yeah. Thanks.”
His lips purse into a smile, yours don’t. 
Taehyung wonders if you still simmer with the anger you'd unleashed on him when you left him. You look like you do, although he doesn't find it justified. If he was the one that hurt the two of you, you broke his heart too when you walked away. But he is trying his best to be polite, isn't he? What did he do to you worse than what you did to him?
→ five years ago;
“Why didn’t you come?”
Your face remained unchanged and Taehyung’s temper shot through the roof.
“I asked you a fucking question!”
“I heard you!” you yelled back just as loudly, one hand balled into a tight fist while the other leisurely carried the glass of wine to and fro between your lips and the kitchen island. “And chose to ignore you.”
“What the—”  Taehyung cut himself off with gritted teeth, raking his fingers through his gelled hair and disrupting the hairdo. He roughly undid his tie and stalked up to you on angry feet. “I texted to ask if you needed me to send you a car, you said you would come by yourself, so why the fuck did you not?”
You shrugged your shoulders and carelessly let your silk gown slip off one of them, revealing the thin strap of your negligee to him. In a normal situation, the sight would have been enough to make Taehyung forget about all else and tear your clothes off to have you right there, in the middle of the kitchen. He had done it multiple times in the past. But today was different – today he was furious and embarrassed and disappointed. It was the success party of his dream variety show having collected impressive ratings in just the first week of its run, and he had needed you by his side to celebrate it fully. 
But you didn’t show up at the damn venue.
And now you were here, back at your shared apartment, drinking freaking wine at 3 am of the night and acting as if it wasn’t a big deal that you skipped one of the most special celebrations of his life over some petty anger.
Sighing tiredly, Taehyung stepped away from you to shed more of his clothes until he was just in his pants and had his shirt hanging off his frame, unbuttoned. His stripped off garments were piled on the sofa, to be collected later when he finally went upstairs to your shared bedroom
Then he turned to look at you, only to click his tongue when he found you sitting in your place with a bored expression on your face. Walking up to your figure, he snatched the alcohol from your hand and glared down at your surprised face. This had been going on for months now and needed to stop.
“What is it? Why are you being like this? What do you want?”
Your face crumpled with a ton of sadness suddenly puncturing it, and even though you quickened to straighten your expressions into annoyance, Taehyung caught the slip. He could tell you were definitely about to lie to him. He just didn’t get why.
"I called you to tell you I won't be coming because I have an urgent, early flight to catch," you told him in a tight voice. "And guess what? Your assistant picked up the phone."
Taehyung threw his head back. Not this again. Your insecurity over his assistant was really uncharacteristic of you – and really stupid, because Somi was just a delusional kid who would someday grow up to realise Taehyung wasn't interested in anyone but you and stop with her meaningless little games she played around him.
You used to make fun of such women with him, in the past. What had changed? What was suddenly so different about this one person that you acted this way?
"Well, yeah. As I've told you before, she handles my phone when I'm busy. It's kinda the point of her being my assistant."
He could see your jaw working, the tight grip you had on the wine glass.
"Babe? What is going on?"
"Nothing, Tae," you gritted the words out. "Absolutely nothing's going on. My flight is at five, I need to go pack."
He frowned when you got up and tried to walk past him, and stopped you with a grasp of your elbow. "Hey, hey – can we talk? Please?"
You stayed frozen, looking away from him, so he spoke on.
"Um, where are you going? How long will you be?"
At that, you shrugged out of his grip. "Vienna. We're interviewing some Korean immigrants our team located last week."
"Ah, I see. How long will you be gone for?"
"Any time between three weeks to two months."
Two months? Taehyung roughly swallowed at the prospect of being away for that long. Things had been decidedly rocky between you both. How damaging could two months' distance be? Given your current state of agitation, he wasn't sure you'd even keep in touch with him.
Another thought suddenly occurred to him and his blood almost ran cold.
Was your so-called boss gonna be there with you? He had to know, even if it made him lose his mind.
"You're – you're going with a team, yeah?"
You shot him an irritated look. "Hoseok is going, too, he's leading us. That's what you wanna know, right?"
So he was going. Freaking Hoseok would be there with you, on a foreign land, and you would be there with him and forget about Taehyung completely. The way you always did in the guy's presence.
"Stop looking at me with so much disgust, he's my boss. I can't tell him not to go."
Taehyung scoffed as you moved towards the bedroom. "Yeah. As if you'd even want to."
You whirled around. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Taehyung was pretty sure he didn't need to explain that to you. He'd been hinting at it since September – he'd been explicitly saying it since October, since the freaking Halloween party your office had. So he didn't need to say anything anymore.
"What is this really about, babe? You didn't come to the celebration, you didn't even congratulate me, not once, and now you're leaving for weeks, possible months?"
You stared at him. "What could this be about, Taehyung?"
"Are you – are you trying to distance yourself?"
And there was that sadness suddenly crowding your face again. 
And then you pushed it away again. 
"Do you want me to?
You were talking in circles. "Babe. Please. If you leave when we're like this—"
"We've been like this for months, Taehyung!" You burst at him. "And nothing's gonna change, as long as you have that leech of an assistant trying to woo her way into your pants or whatever!"
Taehyung couldn't believe his ears. You were that bothered by that stupid girl? He would have let go of her in a heartbeat if he'd known. He still could – he would. But instead of telling you that, he decided to choose the path of pettiness.
"Yeah? And what about the way you can't help following wherever your boss leads you?"
"I can't quit my job, Tae!"
"And I can't fire my assistant!"
Silence prevailed after that. You glared at him, and he glared back. Until you just dropped all the aggression and looked at him with a cold stare.
"You know what? Maybe a little distance away from each other is exactly what we need right now."
The sucker-punch was delivered with your poker face, one that he was coming to hate with a passion now. Almost gasping for air, he shook his head, bewildered. “Wh–what? Distance?”
“Yes. We barely see each other. And when we do, we fight. All we do is disappoint each other, Taehyung. What are we doing in this farce of a relationship beyond hurting each other? I think it's better if we took some time off.”
It wasn’t the words you said that broke him – it was the ease with which you said them to him.
Taehyung wasn’t faultless, far from it. He forgot special days, skipped dinners, postponed dates. But he was trying to pursue his dream; a dream he had dreamt with you since you both started dating in college. You knew what this was gonna be like, and he felt like he had actually been doing better in the relationship than his expectations. Sure, he had his moments and got irrational sometimes – like he knew he was being about this entire Hoseok debacle – but that was only because he was under a lot of stress all the time. Just some comforting words and an embrace from you always had him back to being his normal self.
Did you not see it that way?
He loved you with his entire heart and soul, despite all his shortcomings.
Did you not care about that?
“D–don’t call it a farce…”
“Then let me wave out of it,” you bluntly said to him, raising your chin to let him glimpse into your eyes that held so much frustration, they gave him a physical push away from you. "Clean out the apartment before I'm back. Let's give each other space, yeah?"
Were you that unhappy with him?
What the hell was he doing to you?
“Baby… can – can we talk about this?”
“When? You don’t have time to talk about this, Tae. To talk about anything.” You shook your head, face blank and jaw gritted. “And let’s be honest, here. We went past the point of talking on your birthday, already.”
Taehyung groaned aloud, throwing his head back in sheer frustration. “This again?”
“No. I’m not starting anything, I’m just… trying to end it.”
And so you did.
Taehyung has never been the type to give up on people or situations easily, so that wasn’t the last of that conversation you both had. There were multiple attempts he made to get you to tell him what was actually bothering you because he always felt – and still does – that you said less than you wanted to, that day.
All of it fell on deaf ears, though, because you never came back to the apartment until he'd moved out, and blocked him on every social media platform when he got busy with shootings within the next few weeks.
He looks at you and sighs. How damn stupid of him is it to feel soft for you because he suspects there was more to your break up than you just throwing in the towel? Because that is what it comes down to – you made big commitments and promises about braving the hardships and supporting him through it all, but gave up because of doubts and frustrations when the two of you needed to stand strong.
And now he is gazing at you like a miserable fool, expecting you to do God knows what.
With another awkwardly cleared throat, Taehyung deduces he cannot keep standing here like a damn idiot. He points towards the side of the ballroom downstairs. 
“Do you, like, wanna sit? Maybe? We – we have sofas and booths here?”
Wow. Way to go with them communications skills. Taehyung pulls his lips into his mouth, resisting the urge to throw himself off the balustrade in embarrassment.
You do nothing to ease his dumb fumbling, simple flipping your hair over your shoulder so that they swish over your cleavage to brush your breasts. They’ve gotten so much longer than he remembers. 
“I will if I want to.”
For real? Okay, this is no good.
Your anger very obviously still burns as hot as it did the night you decided to throw him out of your life. He cannot navigate around this the easy way, he needs to change his tactics a bit if he’s going to survive this night without you murdering him. Maybe he should pretend you both are strangers. Treat you like he would any other attendee of the gala.
The clicking of your tongue brings him back, your irritated frown greeting him when he focuses on your face. “Are you babysitting me? I’ll be fine, you may go take care of whatever you need to.”
“Well, what I need to take care of is the guests,” Taehyung tells you with a shrug, not letting your cold remark get to him, but the soft feelings your presence had started to induce in him seem to be evaporating as time passes.
“Technically, I’m Jimin’s guest, not yours. You don’t have to keep hovering around me.”
“Oh, my God,” he groans, hitting the limit with your attitude. 
The irritation he was hit with when he spotted you at this gathering is beginning to spike again. He wonders if he actually doesn't have any lingering affection for you at all – if it’s just nostalgia that he misinterpreted. You did break his heart and disregarded all his apologies and begging, he’s got every right to not give a damn about you. 
And he gets your anger – he got it when you hurled it at him repeatedly, five years ago; and he gets it now – but insulting him in his own celebration isn’t okay. Especially when you could very well not interact with him at all and walk away any time. He notices how you keep trying to send him away but make no moves to leave yourself.
If this is an ego thing for you – well, he’s got an ego, too.
He calls your name with a tight voice. “You’re at a party that I am hosting with Jimin. You’re my guest, too, whether you like it or not. So you’ve got to let me be an accommodating host without reacting so rudely to everything I say.”
Fury beams from your eyes into his, but he braves it with unimpressed, furrowed brows. He remembers this look on your face more than he does your smile, as pitiful as the fact is. And so he knows you’ve reached a point in your fury where you stop arguing anymore. When you two were in a relationship, this used to piss him off like anything. But right now, it is kinda suiting his situation well.
You give him a terse nod. 
“Thank you,” he mutters, exhaling in relief. “Now. Your date’s off with Jimin to talk about God knows what, so you can either stare around boredly and regret agreeing to coming here, or you can let me guide you to a comfortable sitting nook where you can have drinks and snacks delivered to you. Until Jeon comes back for you, that is.”
This time you’re the one that exhales, losing some lines from your face. “I don't want to cause drama or be a bitch. I just… didn’t expect to see you here. This is uncomfortable and disappointing.”
Ouch? Well. At least he tried to be nice, right?
“Right, okay… likewise.” Taehyung rolls his eyes, walking around you to step towards the stairwell that leads downstairs. “Come along.”
Every now and then, he peeks over his shoulder to check if you’re following, feeling more than a little satisfied to find you staring at the back of his head each time. Yes, you aren’t the only one with an attitude.
On reaching the downstairs landing, he is in the process of moving towards the ballroom when you call out his name. He twists on his heels with raised eyebrows to find you pointing towards a slightly dark hallway behind the stairs, an intrigued and somewhat suspicious look on your face.
“Does that lead to a secret wing of the house, or something?”
Taehyung barks a bout of laughter. “No. That’s an indoor connection to the club.”
Your head whips to look at him with wide eyes. “The club is… here?”
“I mean, yeah? Kind of.” He points downwards with a finger. “This is Jimin’s place, so he wanted an internal route to—”
“Wait, this is Jimin’s place?” Your eyes are wider than before.
Inhaling deeply once, he pushes his tongue into his cheek as he stares at you with narrowed eyes. Did you even know what function your ‘date’ was bringing you to? 
“I – I mean, it looks like a… well. A castle, to be honest,” you muse in wonder, looking up at the high ceilings.
Taehyung follows your gaze, nodding slowly. “It is, yeah. It’s also got a museum on one side that has all the ancient stuff from the era of the monarch that used to live here.”
For the first time tonight, you seem to be actually listening to him. And despite all the bitterness and anger he feels, he cannot hold back the soft smile that breaks out onto his face at the sight of your parted lips.
“Jimin lives in a museum?”
This time, Taehyung lets out a full belly laugh. “This is not Jimin’s home! I meant he bought the building. So it’s more like a – a vacation house, I guess. He doesn’t live here but comes around a lot. This castle is why we picked this place for Dionysus. The museum gathers a good amount of tourists. They could all use a drink and a good space to wind down after their excursions.”
You nod distractedly, still looking towards the hallway as you step down to the floor and off the last stair. Taehyung walks up to stand in front of you, smirking at the fascination on your face. You could be old and ageing, but this look of childlike wonder will always look the same on you. It has remained unchanged in the twelve-something years he has known you for. 
“Do you wanna see?”
You blink, leaning away. “See – see what?”
“The club?”
You don’t say a word, quietly gulping, and look in the previous direction past his shoulders. Taehyung snorts at the innocence you unwittingly elude, sighing at the fondness that unfurls in his chest despite all the heartache.
“Come on.”
He walks ahead and you follow him, the dimly lit hallway echoing with the clack of your heels. Then you hum.
“This part of the town is somewhat secluded, almost at the city borders. How are you maintaining security here?”
Taehyung’s lips curve up in a secret, melancholic smile. You always had so many questions about everything. It makes him feel endeared and delivers a pinch to his heart all the same. He misses you – but he also doesn’t, because the you that he misses has been left in the past, beneath all the scowls and brimming disappointment you had come to be full of during the last few months of your relationship.
He sighs, focussing his thoughts on your question.
“Well. We have come up with a lot of new tech and Jimin arranged for a top notch security staff. His dad’s friends with this Kim Seok-something guy… he might be here tonight, actually. So, there is only a sure shot way of getting into the club, no stragglers can wander in.”
At the end of the hallway is a glass door, guarded by two really tall, really buff men. Next to the door, a steel box is mounted to the wall – the most important piece of equipment about Dionysus, coming up with which with their team of engineers took almost as long as constructing the infrastructure.
“Here!” Taehyung announces, gesturing towards the box with both hands. “This is the machine that will read your entry pass.”
You blink at him. “I don’t… have an entry pass?”
He nods, pointing at one of the guards. “Josh, our passes, please?”
The man gives a small bow to Taehyung and produces a mechanised stamp that looks like a tiny taser, clicking on a button. Taehyung lifts the cuff of his suit jacket and shirt to present the skin of his wrist to the stamp, and Josh leaves a QR code on his skin.
“Woah!” Your exclamation resounds from behind him. “That’s gonna get people into the club?”
"Yep." He turns to you with a proud grin. “Move in or out of the club. New tech, right?”
“Damn,” you mutter, looking impressed as you forward your own wrist to Josh.
Taehyung shakes his head. “Uh, no, not like this. The stamp needs to stay covered with a piece of clothing or the neon lights inside can spoil it and you won’t be able to leave.”
Both arms extended in front of you, you look at yourself. “I don’t have a sleeve… or a collar.”
His own eyes sweep down your form, tongue coming out to wet his lips at the sight of your flared hips and full breasts encased in this fitted cloth in his favourite colour. Clearing his throat at how perverted he is being, he quickly looks away and searches his pockets for a handkerchief, only to come up empty.
“Well… maybe beneath the neckline?” you question, frowning at the layer of the dress covering your cleavage.
Josh shrugs a shoulder, eyeing Taehyung. “Could work?”
Taehyung looks at your neckline which is seriously so low, he isn't sure how something can be placed beneath this without compromising your modesty. He nods, almost in a daze, unable to move his gaze off the curves of the tops of your breasts as he now starts to wonder how this dress is even staying up.
But when you begin to peel the cloth an inch down the slope of your chest and Josh’s hand moves towards you, Taehyung jumps into action and grips the guard’s wrist. Shooting a really unwarranted glare at the man, he plucks the device off his hands. “Let me.”
He moves to carefully stand before you, eyes meeting yours in slight panic when it finally registers to him how he got really unnecessarily protective over his ex from years back. What the heck must you think of him? He can’t read much of your opinion in your gaze, your eyes looking mostly awash with shock, staring at him unblinkingly.
Moving forward with the stamp, he watches your throat move in a rough swallow, body visibly tensing when he steps even closer to you. His keen eyes observe every single movement in your person, scanning the way your eyelids flutter, the way your lips puff out short breaths, the way your chest moves up and down rapidly. He wonders if you are breathless as he is.
He looks at your supple flesh, inching his hand forward at snail's pace. The smooth texture of your skin, the rounded curve – he is transfixed, aware that if he rolled the dress another two inches down, he would be able to see your nipple. He wonders if it will be hard already due to the air-conditioning, or if it would puff up his stare. Under his touch, maybe? Definitely under his tongue…
He jolts out of his extremely inappropriate thoughts, gaze snapping up to your face in horror. You hold the same expressions as before, looking even more breathless. 
But Taehyung remembers himself. 
Leaning a few inches away from you, he reminds himself of where you both stand in your current lives – you aren't the woman he was in love with, you're one of Jimin's guests at this party, and you have come here with a date. He has no right to be thinking these thoughts and you honestly shouldn’t be entertaining him with these large eyes. Doesn't mean it makes it any less worse of him to be coming onto you.
You have moved on. And he is supposed to have, too.
Channelling maturity and practising restraint, both of which he didn't know he possessed, Taehyung grinds his teeth and holds the stamp over your skin. He pushes the button, eyes resolutely looking just at the QR code as it gets printed on your skin.
"There," he breathes, deflating in relief, and jumps away from you as soon as he's done, as if burned by the proximity.
Well, he might actually be. He feels pretty singed, if he is being honest.
Stuffing the stamp back into its holder, he flashes the code on his wrist in front of the scanner on another face of the box. A ping resounds around him and the door unlocks.
"Did you see?" he asks over his shoulder. "Put the stamp within a foot's distance from the scanner."
You step up next to the box, the door locking within five seconds of no entry, and angle your chest close to the scanner. Due to the dim lights, Taehyung isn't sure if it's his stupid wishful thinking or if you actually look a bit shaken up. 
A ping echoes in the hallway, and the door gives. With something akin to sparkle in your eyes, you skip through the doorway with a grin.
"This is fantastic!"
Taehyung scans his own stamp and slides in after you.
"And, we're in!" he announces, falling in step next to you and looks straight ahead to avoid the adorable excitement that is sure to be etched on your face. "Wanna look around?"
You hum, footsteps falling slightly behind his own as he guides you around the place. 
Taehyung finds himself entranced everytime he walks through Dionysus. It's still hard to believe that all the plans he and Jimin pored over, sometimes pulling all-nighters to come up with innovative ideas, have finally taken a corporeal form. Every colour, texture and material of everything used in constructing this place has been chosen by him and approved by Jimin, or vice versa. Well, more vice versa because despite his own field of study being far removed from construction, he still has quite a good idea for these things due to his dad's company. 
Sighing at the reminder of the man that has caused more troubles in his life than he can count, Taehyung clears his throat and looks over you.
Unwittingly, his mind travels back in time for the third time tonight. You always sported a shorter hairstyle when the two of you were together. And though Taehyung has absolutely adored every hairstyle you have worn – would have loved you without hair, too, he’s certain – there’s something about seeing you in waist-length hair that makes something ache in his chest.
→ eight years ago;
“Are you never gonna grow your hair out?”
Your mirthy eyes squinted with laughter as you swooped towards him to kiss his pouty lips. “Long hair requires maintenance that I don’t have the time to spare for, baby, you know it.” You brushed a hand through your shoulder length tresses, raising your eyebrows. “Thought you liked me with short hair?”
“I do.” Taehyung nodded, fitting his head in your lap. “But… we’ve been out of the college for over a year… don’t you wanna, like, make those high buns and wear gowns on our dates sometimes?”
You cackled at his words, head leaning away with the force of your giggles. “Do you want me to make buns and wear gowns, Tae?”
He could feel his cheeks warming up, but said nothing. 
“Tae baby,” you sighed. “I’m trying to find my footing in the ever-changing world of journalism and work at an NGO. I don't even have time to comb my hair, half the days, now when it's so manageable. How will I do it for long hair?"
“I can do it for you?” 
The meek offer was out before Taehyung could pause to even really think what it meant. Your eyes were wide as you bent your head to look at him.
“Are you serious? You want me to have long hair that bad?”
Bashful and a little embarrassed, he sat up and shook his head in negation, avoiding your eyes at all costs. “No, of course not. I just… I meant if the only reason is that you can’t take care of it, I can do it for you.” He looked into your eyes then. “I can always take care of everything for you whenever it gets too much for you, you know that right?”
Eyes misty and smile quivering, you had captured his lips at that and promised him you’d grow your hair out for him whenever life gave you a second to breathe.
And apparently, your breather came after you ended things with him. Figures.
Sighing morosely, Taehyung eyes the way your steps are a bit off in your heels, and he very casually points at the seating area to one side, thinking nothing of his words as he suggests, “Have a sit if you need to relax your calves.”
He doesn’t realise anything is strange until he sees that you’ve stopped walking and are giving him a long look. That is when his eyes widen. 
You were never fond of wearing heels. At most an hour, and then you would be taking off your footwear and finding some cosy place to sit where Taehyung would find you and give your feet and calves a massage. That often led to the two of you sneaking off to continue the massage in a more private setting.
He’s about to explain that he didn’t mean it like that when your stare wavers, nostrils flaring as you clear your throat. “No, I’m okay. Does your club have a bar?”
For a moment, it felt like he had you on the same page as himself. But now you’ve closed the book. 
“And a bartender,” Taehyung sighs, sliding his hands in his pocket to lead you to the bar.
“Hyung!” Jungwon grins, waving at him before he spots you and drops into a bow. “Good evening, ma’am! Welcome to Dionysus! Are you having a nice night?”
Chuckling at the enthusiastic greeting, Taehyung turns to look at you, landing in confusion when he sees you squinting at Jungwon in extreme suspicion. Taehyung calls your name, and you simply tilt your head, examining the boy more closely.
“How old are you, Jungwon?”
The kid’s eyes jump as wide as Taehyung’s own. “Uh…”
“You do not look eighteen, kid.”
He isn’t. And of course you would realise it.
“I… I will turn eighteen in March.”
“Well then you can work the bar in March, kid.” Your glare is sharp and hand stiff when you lift it to point towards the exit. “Out of this establishment before I call child services on your boss.”
Jungwon gives a panicked glance at Taehyung at which he can only nod because he knows you don’t have to call child services – you are child services. Well, not working with the government but your NGO definitely has good connections and enough prominence to uproot his whole club just because of Jungwon’s part-time hiring. And letting go of Jungwon is you giving Taehyung a warning before taking a serious action. He knows you well enough to know that much.
The moment the kid has collected his backpack and left through the door, your glare turns to Taehyung. "We talked about this, Taehyung. And you promised you wouldn't bring in any minors in any kind of work before they're done with their education."
Yeah, he did, but it was in a very different context. Scouting minors for reality shows and hiring them as bartenders has nothing in common and Taehyung is just about to remind you of the same when he suddenly stops.
Plays your words in his head again.
And barely contains a gasp.
Because… did you just address the past? Acknowledge the fact that you are actually more than just Jimin's guest's date here and that you and him have actually met prior to this?
You did.
His eyes are wide and lips are parted and now he doesn't know what to say.
Nearly seven years back, when Taehyung was trying to make a name in the entertainment industry, attempting to surpass existing PDs with his maximal creativity and eccentric ideas, he came up with this concept of a game show with school going kids. But as soon as he started working on it, you had a talk with him, explaining how risky it was for kids' development to be exposed to the world of cameras and reality television so early on. Especially kids that didn't want to get into the entertainment industry after growing up. Taehyung had listened to you, as he often did back then, and scrapped the idea.
And now he's here again, having hired an underage bartender. He sees the fault in his ways and drops his head.
"I'm sorry."
Your sigh sounds extremely tired, just as defeated as your gaze. "You always are, Taehyung."
That makes him frown, angering him more so when you turn around to walk further into the club.
"Hey," he calls out, briskly following you. "I've been listening to you being passive aggressive all night, but you've gotta stop, okay? You're the one that came to my party. Stop acting like I forced you to talk to me."
You swerve in your place so suddenly, Taehyung has to put an effort to stop himself from colliding into you. Your eyes spit fire at him. 
"Oh, yeah? What the hell is this, then? I didn't come to your party, for the last time, I came to Jimin's. So why won't you let me be his guest and get the hell lost?"
He sees that you're done holding back. Well. He is, too.
"I know where this is coming from," he grits out, leaning down to seethe into your face. "Are you angry at your little date for not informing you you’re gonna see me here?”
You scoff with a humourless laugh. “Are you kidding me? You’re actually jealous of Jungkook? Is this why you won’t leave me alone in the hall?”
“Okay one – I’m not jealous, I don’t care what you do in your life, let alone your dating life,” Taehyung sneers with derision he doesn’t mean, and the sudden flash of hurt on your face doesn’t give him nearly as much satisfaction as he’d hoped it would. “And two – I didn’t wanna leave you alone because I was trying to be a good host!”
“Oh?” Your eyes narrow. “Well, how about this – if you really wanna be a good host, just call me a damned cab and let me leave.”
Taehyung’s face falls at your words, way too quickly before he can contain himself. “L–leave?” And then he stutters, proving himself to be as pathetic as he’s sure you think him to be.
But you don’t react with the same fiery anger. Instead, your eyes get clouded with confusion and hands unfurl from the angry fists. “Yeah. Coming here was an obvious mistake, I shouldn’t have let Jeon sweet talk me into it…”
As he’s about to tell you to not leave just yet and make promises of leaving you alone, your words register in his head. “Jeon?”
Your eyes widen and cheeks flush. “J–Jungkook. I meant Jungkook.”
“Of course you meant that, but that is not what you said!” 
Taehyung stalks up to you, crowding you against the bar counter, drinking the way your eyes grow in size and shoulders rise up in your telltale sign of nervousness. He says your name, slowly and deeply, leaning over you to have your breasts brush his chest, the way you give a slight shiver at his enunciation of your name making him shiver too. 
“Is Jungkook really your date?”
A pearlescent row of teeth bites into your lush, red painted lower lip. “Yeah, he’s really my date.” Taehyung raises a single eyebrow and you immediately shut your eyes, turning your head slightly to the left with a wince. “But… he’s a friend and asked me to come here with him as a friend.”
Oh, God.
Taehyung hates himself for the way relief rushes through his veins and overtakes his entire body at your words, because what the actual fuck? Why is he relieved? Heartbreak, break up, moving on, hello?
Nope, no one's home.
He stares into your eyes when you open them again, brain foggy with so many questions he cannot pick which one to put up first. Just the way he can't decipher what this wide-eyed look in your eyes means.
What wouldn’t he give to be able to glimpse into what you’re thinking right now…
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Stupid Jungkook and his stupid freaking doe eyes that landed you here. And stupid you for not even researching where you were going, so eager to jump the chance to escape the confines of your too empty apartment when you were slapped with a month long break from the news channel you work at. 
They were afraid you were gonna have a 'burn out' – dumb concept that definitely doesn't mean anything to you, because you need work to keep going. If you're not drafting reports or editing scoops, you're visiting the NGO you joined fifteen years ago and have become the Director of, now. But the traitorous staff there sent you home, too, when they saw how ‘gaunt’ you looked, which – again, means nothing to you because keeping your mind occupied takes a higher prominence for you than maintaining your looks.
The thing is, you still live in the apartment you have shared with Taehyung for over three years. It’s unhealthy, you’re aware, but you played yourself by trying to act strong, and now you keep looking for excuses to leave your home for as long as you can. Which is why Jungkook’s offer, the first semblance of respite in a little over two weeks, came as a blessing that you were quick to grasp.
Well, look where it has landed you – pressed up between a bar counter and the very same ex, escaping the ghost of whose presence made you come here.
Although, looking into Taehyung’s mellow brown eyes, you try to figure out who you are really looking at. Is it the ex you left behind, the man you had to push out of your life because he stopped loving you?
Is it the one guy that you'd dreamt a future with? The one guy in the entire world you'd given enough power to hurt you? The guy that did break your heart?
Tears gather on your waterline as images from your past cascade in your mind, and you flutter your eyelids to suck the salty liquid back in. There is no use reminiscing what has been lost. 
Because this man who stands before you is none of those things. He is just a successful variety show director who has now stepped into the world of business by running a club. The guy who you deemed the love of your life, performing arts Junior Kim Taehyung who was growing into this amazing young man full of so many dreams – who wanted to hold your hand through the process of making them come true – has been left in the past. His feelings, plans and intentions had changed long before you realised he was done caring about you. He had stopped being the guy you fell for, long before you walked away.
But even as you remind yourself of those things, you cannot help scanning his face with a frenzied gaze as if trying to save up every changed detail of him, the matured lines around his mouth and eyes, the stronger structure of his nose and jaw. 
Why are you doing this to yourself? And why is he doing this to you? Holding onto your arms so fiercely and looking into your eyes with such blatant distress? And why is your heart beating so loud in response to his proximity?
"I…" He moves a miniscule bit closer and you stifle a gasp when his familiar breath washes over your face. "I have missed you."
Oh, God, no.
No no no no – he can't say stuff like this after everything you've been through. You refuse to accept it. With a vehement scowl, you shove him off you, turning away from the hurt that splashes across his face. 
"Stop this, Taehyung." You wish your voice came out stronger than a helpless plea, but it ends in a whisper of his name. "Let me just go ho—"
"Does seeing me here not affect you at all?"
Your gaze snaps to his in surprise, lips turning downwards when you see the way his eyes are dunked in sorrow. "Taehyung…"
"Does it not matter to you at all? It's – it's been five years… have you not missed me? At all?"
His restlessness visibly grows with every sentence and you wring your fingers together, nervous for no reason. "I… There's – there's no point to this conversation, Taehyung, we—"
"Yes, there is!" 
He frowns at you furiously, jaw tightened and fists clenched, but stays rooted to his place without moving towards you. Anger never used to be something you saw on Taehyung much. If he could go without it in a situation, he always chose that path. This also meant that the few times when he did get mad, he didn't know how to handle the feeling or how to act. And so, fearing God knows what, he always maintained physical distance from you when he got annoyed. 
Hence, the way he holds himself tightly away from you confirms that he is extremely angry, right now.
Your lips turned back into your mouth, you try to nod in a placating manner, letting him say his thing instead of trying to fight and causing him more anguish.
"You… you just left me," he begins, looking more confused and lost than agitated. "Never talked about us, never let me talk, just… up and exited out of my life. Disappeared from the apartment until I'd cleaned it out, blocked me everywhere you could, even told your building's freaking security guard to not let me in!"
You duck your head, cheeks heating up in embarrassment, because his accusation is right. You started hiding from him the day after you broke up, scared he would convince you to try again with just one glance. But you were beyond the point trying, already. The two of you were getting bigger and busier in your respective fields and growing more distant from each other. You both forgot about the tenderness of all the promises you made to each other in college and let insecurity, suspicion and toxicity between you.
"Say something," he brokenly calls out, staring at you with his eyes defeated and shoulders slumped.
"There's nothing to say, Taehyung," you whisper, unable to maintain eye-contact. 
"How?" he beseeches, throwing his hands up. "You left me and then avoided me like the plague… You treated me as if I'd cheated on you because you were suspicious!"
Now you're angry too. "Okay, one – I never treated you like that. And should I remind you I wasn't alone in my suspicions? Somi came into your life because you were insecure about me and my boss!"
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe there was a reason I was so insecure about you both?"
"Reason? Taehyung, what the—" You shut your eyes to calm yourself down from screaming. "Are you really going to keep spinning this in circles and not once acknowledge that it was petty and stupid of you to try to make me jealous through Somi?"
Taehyung's throat bobs in a nervous swallow, his quickly changing demeanour telling you he's been caught by surprise. You give a scoff, rolling your eyes, and walk up to the bar next to you to raise yourself up and sit on one of the stools.
He follows you with pursed lips, tentatively walking up to stand next to you.
“There was nothing there, by the way,” he quietly says. “Feel like I should clarify that because I never really have before. Somi was still in college, foolish and a bit disillusioned. And I just didn’t want to destroy the rest of her career because you and I were going through a rough patch.”
You never really suspected he was having an affair, to begin with, but that didn’t lessen the insult and hurt you felt at the unnecessary means he used in order to slight you. What he just said, though, makes your head hurt.
“Taehyung. Are you listening to yourself? You really chose to secure a girl’s career instead of saving our relationship! And then you accused me of having my priorities messed up.”
He responds to your aggression with a dejected hum. “It sounded shitty even as I was saying it. But that was me, then. And I regret not trying hard enough. Although,” he breathes, looking at you with sad eyes as he says your name with a sadder sigh. "Don't say I chose to protect her over us, please don't say that…"
“That is pretty much how it went down, though.” You blink your tears away and bite on your bottom lip. "Do you remember your twenty-fourth birthday?"
You can spot the second Taehyung shows those familiar signs of irritation, and you are ready with your scoff. It has been four years, and he's still doing this?
"Don't give me that look. You don't know how excited—"
"And you don't know how upset I was!" he speaks over you, looking almost as angry as he did that night when you confronted him.
→ five years ago;
“What do you mean he’s away?” you barked into the phone, painted nails digging into your palms and furious eyes scanning the people scattered around the living room. “What’s going on, Jimin?”
The man on the phone sighed. “Kid, I don’t know the exact details of his schedule – I won’t have wasted a week setting things up with you if I did, trust me. It’s just what his assistant told me. They're both away to attend a very important meeting, or some shit. They can't be back until tomorrow morning. Since when does he even have an assistant?”
You rubbed at your forehead, brain melting into a useless pulp from all the stress, but plastered a smile on your face when one of the guests looked your way. “Since Halloween,” was gritted out of your clenched teeth, lips barely moving.
“Is everyone there already?”
“Yes, Jimin. Even his mom arrived fifteen minutes ago,” you informed your boyfriend’s best friend, looking at the woman mentioned, with a distressed sigh. “More than twenty hearts that I set up to break.”
“Hey, hey, none of that,” Jimin reprimanded you, the sound of his footfalls echoing through the phone due to what you assumed were the empty hallways of Taehyung’s studio where his office was located. “First off, we both decided it would be a good surprise. So we both take the fall of it blowing up in our faces. And secondly, Tae is breaking their hearts, kid. Not us.”
Your eyes watered despite Jimin’s reassurance, throat tightening at the prospect of all the questions and judgemental stares you would be subjected to on top of the disappointment from your guests. Not to mention Taehyung’s mom who took a flight out of Daegu at your insistence.
“I’ll be there soon and we’ll tell them together, okay? Just hold on for a while.”
God bless his precious soul, but Jimin’s presence wasn’t going to make things any easier for you. The reality of the night remained that you’d planned a surprise get-together for your boyfriend’s twenty-fourth birthday, collecting the closest of your friends and his to treat them to a small party at home, hoping to sew up some of the distance that had started to fester between the two of you for the last couple of months.
And he didn’t show up. Chose to attend a 'very important meeting' instead. And took his assistant along.
Your heart was shattering with each breath you took, but the night went on. 
Jimin helped you make up a lie about Taehyung getting caught up in a shooting that ran late which had delayed him from arriving on time. You convinced your guests to not stay back so late and wait for him because 'he would feel guilty,' and bid them farewell with an apology and a homemade cupcake in their hands as a parting gift. Missus Kim stayed back, eyeing you with a narrowed gaze when everyone had filtered out of your apartment.
“He isn’t just late, is he?”
You jumped at her words, panicked eyes meeting Jimin's, who froze in the middle of slipping on his boots to take his own leave.
“Don’t look at him,” the gorgeous woman caught you, chuckling. “He’s just as bad of a liar as you.”
Jimin stood up with a guilty grimace, bowing his head in apology. “I’m sorry, Mom."
She waved a hand, dismissing him with pursed lips. "Do you both even know where he is?"
No, you had no idea.
"He's… not in Seoul, actually."
Your gaze snapped to Jimin at his revelation. He hadn't told you that.
Taehyung… wasn't in the city? Where was he? When did he leave? 
He had taken his assistant with him. He didn't pick up your calls all night. His assistant picked up his phone, only when Jimin called.
Was he really away on work, or…?
No, it had to be work. You refused to jump to conclusions. He would never do this to you; not in this life, or any other that you two found yourselves together in.
But then… Why did he not tell you he was leaving?
Why wasn't he returning your calls?
What was your boyfriend hiding from you?
Heart crumpling, head pounding and darkness clouding your vision, you fell into a heap on the floor. Two pairs of legs made a frantic dash towards you, their worried voices and calls of your name reaching you through a long, narrow tunnel.
But your chest burned with humiliation and grief, things falling into themselves until you passed out on your living room floor.
When the next morning came, you were barely able to relax at the waking up without last night's paranoia in your mind, before the news reports caught up with you – your boyfriend and assistant had been spotted and photographed visiting a k-drama actress' manager in Incheon, last night. Apparently he was preparing for a 'March release' for his variety show and 'trivial things like birthdays' were not going to make him falter in his determination of working hard.
You had sat stunned at the kitchen table for hours, coffee forgotten and eyes swollen, until Taehyung arrived sometime in the late morning.
“You missed your party yesterday.”
“Ah, I know. Mom called. She was mad.”
Taehyung didn’t even look your way, simply laid down on the couch and decided to nap.
You scoffed, walking up to him with a frown. “Taehyung. It was insulting and very hurtful that you decided to just leave town without telling me.”
“Somi told Jimin, didn't he tell you?" he mumbled from beneath the arm he had over his face.
You bristled at the casual way he said his assistant's name. "Oh, yeah, he did. He also told me Somi picked up your phone. The same phone which I called on at least fifty times and got no response.
He gave a click of his tongue, still lying motionless. "What's the big deal with her handling my phone? She had it because I was talking to an important person."
"The big deal is that your phone is supposed to be private. You have a girlfriend that might send you private messages that no one but you should be privy to." You rolled your shoulders back. "On that note… maybe you should remind your assistant of the fact that you have a girlfriend."
“I have, multiple times. But... I don't think she's really all that wrong to not believe me when my ‘girlfriend�� had never even visited me at work, not once.”
“That's not fair, Tae. You've never visited my newsroom either, but I don't complain!”
“I haven't visited because you haven't invited me! And why would you? Wouldn't want Hoseok to know you have a boyfriend, right?”
You groaned, massaging your forehead as your irritation peaked. “Really? This again? Taehyung, for fuck’s sake, he's my boss.”
“He asked you to go to the Halloween Ball with him—”
“As colleagues!”
“That's what you think. Or maybe that's what you want me to think. But I'm not stupid.”
“No, you're not,” you gritted out, stare menacing and full of hatred. “You're an absolute dumbass. So you humiliated me in front of all our guests and let your mother question how weak our relationship has been because you won't trust me about Hoseok? Is that what this is? Did you go there with Somi as some dumb ploy to make me jealous?”
“What does it matter, anyway? Not like you're gonna feel anything, you never have. You don't care where I am or who I am with.”
“Where – where the fuck is this coming from? I don't feel stupidly jealous because I am secure in our relationship! I trust you and know that no matter what anyone tries, you're never gonna betray me!”
“Oh? And I'm insecure for not liking the fact that your boss asked you to go to a party with him? When he knew you have a boyfriend?”
“Yes! Yes, you're insecure! Which doesn't make any sense, because look at you, Tae! Have you seen yourself? A successful PD that artists run after to get him to take them into his variety shows. Idols flirt with you! Anyone would feel like the luckiest person in the world to be with you!”
“Do you?”
“Do you feel lucky to be with me?”
What the heck was he trying to get on? "Of course, I feel lucky to have you, Tae. What sort of a question is that?"
For a moment, something soft and familiar entered his face. But the next second, it was back to harsh lines and twisted anger that you did not recognise, at all.
"Well, you sure don't act like it."
Stunned, you just stared at him for a while. When it became apparent that he was waiting for you to say something to defend his baseless blame, you scoffed.
"I have a busy job and an NGO to take care of. I'm sorry I can't be a doting girlfriend all the time that worships the floor you walk on!" You shook your head. "But it's nothing you didn't already know when we started dating, Tae."
He didn't look towards you, instead staring at his hands. "You had time for the Halloween gala. You made time for the Christmas gala. You just… It's not about time. You've just stopped prioritising me." With a quick glance tossed at you, he allowed you to peak at all the heartbreak he contained in him. But then he gave a wry chuckle. "Or maybe, something about your office events makes you want to distance yourself from me?"
His indication was, clear as day, Hoseok again. 
You ground your teeth in pain coloured irritation. "You're talking out of your ass, Kim Taehyung. For the last time, he's my boss and—"
"I'm done with this conversation." He made to step away with a roll of his eyes but you stopped him.
"No, you're not. Stop being an insecure asshole and apologise for last night," you beseeched, looking into his eyes with a defeated sigh and slumped shoulders. "That was all I wanted, to begin with."
"Maybe sometime later, I'm too agitated to apologise right now."
And he shoved your hand off his arm and stalked towards the bathroom.
As you went about cleaning the scatter of supplies you'd left in the kitchen after last night, your need for an apology from him went down and the need for a breather away from him started to surface.
The decision you finally made after four months had started to cement that morning, on the last day of the year and the first day of the defeat you felt for the two of you.
Blinking away tears, you look at Taehyung's face and wonder if he remembers as much as you do. Or if his own annoyance over the situation still clouds his sense of what he did wrong that day. 
"Yeah, upset. More often than not, I felt like this airheaded guy next to you because our works were so vastly different. You were dealing with real people, real problems – and I was creating dumb shows to entertain people with these simulations of made up problems." He looks at you with pained eyes. "And then you had someone like Hoseok wanting to take you to events with him."
"What do you mean by someone like Hoseok?" you ask with a small groan, hating the memories of all the fights you both had because of the unsuspecting guy. 
"Someone smart, someone fun. Someone who understood your work. Someone you could confide in better than me. Someone who spent way more time with you than I ever could because of our schedules and busy jobs." He shrugs his shoulders, looking down at his feet. "I felt like if he really tried, Hoseok could steal you away from me. And some part of me actually realised that it would be good for you if it happened. And that drove me nuts."
This is the first time he has ever expressed the true extent of his insecurity about Hoseok – the man who is still your boss but is now in a happy marriage, because despite Taehyung's suspicions, neither you nor Hoseok ever had any kind of feelings for each other.
"Taehyung," you sigh, eyes misting at the way he stands with his limbs curled in, as if trying to make himself look smaller. "It was never like that. Never ever."
"Then why did you break up with me before a trip with him?"
Surprised at the way he has twisted up his view of the situation, you quickly step towards him and shake your head. "No. No it wasn't like that, at all. I broke – broke up because we had stopped understanding each other," you try to remind him. "It was never about anybody else. Not Hoseok, not Somi. It was about our trust in each other and the way it was crumbling under the pressure of our demanding workplaces. We were becoming toxic for each other, Tae."
Taehyung doesn't look like he understands any of that. And you know why. He has always been very simple and raw about his emotions and feelings – never really getting into gritty details of anything other than what he feels when it came to your relationship. He always believed that you could make it work as long as you had each other; as long as you had love. But that is not how it works. And he has to understand that.
"Do you resent me?"
He looks at you in surprise at your question.
"For breaking your heart?"
"I resent you for breaking both of our hearts," he tells you and a thick layer of comfort washes over you at his acknowledgement of your own hurt. "There were so many other things we could have done, back then… Things that would've saved our mental health as well our relationship. We could've gotten professional help, went to couple therapy, maybe lived separately for a while. But you just gave up."
You hang your head, fully aware that every single word he is saying is true. 
Back then, you were obsessed with the idea of salvaging your sanity and not wasting away your youth by crying over your relationship, because you were so full of energy and drive that you felt like you could really change the world if you tried hard enough. Being with Taehyung started to be synonymous to pain and frustration, which you inadvertently brought to work and had it affect your productivity. It started taking a toll on you after a while, so much so that cutting things off to allow both of you to breathe was the best solution you could come up with.
Now, though, looking back at how difficult it has been to cope with all that world has to offer, by your lonesome self, maybe you'd do things differently.
But you still stand by the reality that you only did what you felt would be good for you both.
“Are you still mad at me about the Somi debacle?”
You are not surprised that he puts up the question. It’s as you have always known; Taehyung doesn’t care much for the complexities in a relationship beyond the baser emotions. When he’s in love, he’s just in love – and when you’re angry, you’re just angry in his eyes. 
Very silently, you breathe out and shake your head. “It was never really about Somi. I just explained it to you.”
“I… Then why have you been so cold to me the entire time, tonight?”
The vulnerability in his small voice tears down all the protective walls you have built up high around your heart. 
You don’t even know what to say to him, how to explain what you feel. You definitely have been avoiding him, ignoring him and yelling at him – but is it because you are actually angry? Or just trying to avoid your true feelings? You don’t know.
“I don’t know,” you honestly admit, slipping off the stool, your eyes lowered to his feet. “I’m sorry for being a bitch, but… I just… I don’t know, Tae. I never should have come here. I’m sorry I ruined your night.”
You turn away from him, closing your eyes to keep tears at bay. You should have left this party the moment you found out Jimin was hosting it with Taehyung. You should have… moved out of the damn apartment after your break-up. 
But you thought you were strong enough to brave all of this without anything getting to you. Well, you were wrong. A lot of it has gotten to you and you don’t even know how long it will take for you to get back on your feet. Maybe you should start with moving out of the apartment, foremost.
You’re still ruminating on your regrets, when a strong hand grabs your upper arm from behind. You didn’t even hear him move. Before you can turn to look at him, you feel his presence directly up against your back, his damp exhales warm on the exposed skin of your shoulder.
“You didn’t ruin my night,” whispers his deep, gruff voice next to the shell of your ear and you shudder. “You ruined me. All those years ago… you ruined me when you left.”
Breathing sped up, you slowly turn in his arms, coming up so close to his face when you look up, that you have to repeatedly blink to ground yourself. 
He is so beautiful. Hair up and away from his forehead but still slightly messy because he has this habit of fiddling with it whenever he is anxious. Soft brown eyes wild and liquid with the exact same devastation that compresses your own chest, cheekbones high and dotted with a red hue from his agitation, the same hue that his lips have lost due to how tightly he has them pressed together.
He is so beautiful that it’s painful to have him so close and yet so far away from you.
“Tae, I… I understand it was difficult – trust me, I suffered more than I thought I would. But it was important.”
Now, you planned to elaborate on your point and try to make him see how the years apart made the two of you get to know yourselves better instead of you going down the road of destroying each other you were headed to.
But before you can do any of that, Taehyung’s face turns cloudy, his overthinking brain obviously drawing all sorts of wrong conclusions from your singular statement.
“Important? Are you being for real?” is gritted out through his teeth, hand letting go of your arm and feet stepping away.
“I cannot fall in love again!” he yells, but all his voice carries in its loudness is immeasurable pain. “It’s – it’s been five years since you left, and there’s still this huge, gaping hole in my chest that nothing and no one can ever fill because it is shaped like you! And you…” His shoulders roll down in a defeated slump. “You think us separating was important.”
His biggest concern is not being able to fall in love again? Your heart, hurting and paining, jumps up to lodge in your throat. Trembling lips rolled into your mouth, you stare at him with watery eyes but an even gaze.
“I have a gaping hole shaped like you in my chest too, which will remain like that. And so will yours.” You breathe out. “Remember when I told you anyone would be lucky to have you? And you asked me if I felt lucky, too?” At his hesitant nod, you lean into his face, eyebrows drawn menacingly. “I felt like the luckiest woman in the whole world by your side, Taehyung. But all you could think of was how any other guy would come steal me from you, because you believed I was that easily moved.”
A tear leaves your eye when his own pair starts to glimmer with the salty water. But you have to tell him – he has to remember he wasn’t alone in his hurt.
“I was neck deep in love with you. But you just couldn’t learn to trust me. You’re worried about falling in love again? Where will you find someone willing to deal with your insecurities when you drove me away? If I couldn't put up with you, no one else would ever be able to, Kim Taehyung.”
Your words are met with heartbreak on his face. Lower lip quivering, his own tears brim his eyes and start to topple over in beaded trails down his cheeks. 
Great, now you both are crying. This is so stupid. This shouldn’t have been happening, God, you should have been working on an article and Taehyung should have been enjoying the launch of his club. 
And now you will both sob your way into the new year. Like absolute idiots who can’t help hurting one another every time you two come within reach.
“But I’ve never wanted anyone else to do that,” he suddenly says, voice choked and gritty. “I just wanted you back.”
“We were going to ruin each other, Tae,” comes your breathy claim, sounding as broken as his does.
“And now? Do we stand to ruin each other still?”
What? What does he mean by that? Why would he ask you that? Terrified of the implications, you take a small step away from Taehyung, your eyes wide and not meeting his.
“Is everything lost for us? Forever?”
Now, there’s nothing else he could mean by that.
“I… I think I should leave,” you murmur in a rush, hurriedly stepping away, unwilling to have this conversation with him.
He is not having it, though because one moment you’re walking off, and the next you have your wrist in his grasp – being spun around and pushed against the nearest wall, his other hand holding onto your waist to fix you in place.
Your wide eyes look up at him and his narrowed ones look down at you. “No. You pushed me out of your life once, I won’t let you do it a second time. Not when I have you so close to me again…”
Senses haywire, all you can focus on is the golden skin of his face, the planes of his cheeks glowing with the trails of tears. His heart shaped lips quiver, coming closer to yours. You look up into his dark eyes that lock yours in place.
“I never stopped loving you,” he breathes a hair's breadth away from your lips and you greedily inhale his air, heart skipping multiple beats at a time as he finishes with, “Did you?”
And you know, you absolutely know that the sane thing to do, right now, would be to push him off you and leave this place. Tell him to remember himself – remember where the two of you stand in your lives, and not mess up the temporary calm you two have attained with so much difficulty.
But you do none of that.
Because his eyes are glassy and lips are glossy and you still love him – love him so much, it feels impossible. Your lips are the one to catch his, but his are the ones that push hard against yours.
All at once – the world is a very familiar but a very scary place. His lips transport you back to when you were crazy in love. But they also remind you of all the tears. They taste like his favourite strawberry chapstick. But they also taste like guilt, regret and a million apologies.
Taehyung holds you tighter, pushes you against the wall harder, and slides a leg between yours to jam you in your place. His tongue slips past your lips with practised ease, tangling with yours. The battle – so intimate and so yours – has been perfectly memorised by your body, so much so that you move on muscle memory, gripping the back of his neck and tilting your head just right to taste the delicious cavern of his mouth that you have so desperately missed.
Your passion is returned in kind, Taehyung’s exploring hands reaching up to hold your breasts, as if relearning their curves. His lips detach from yours with a heavy gasp, wasting no time before travelling down your neck like second nature.
Well, it is second nature to them – Taehyung has always loved marking up the line of your throat, and the way his teeth make small scrapes against your skin reacquaint you with the fact.
“Tae,” you breathe, eyes shut and head pressed against the hard surface behind it. 
You do not know what you are calling out for. But you can’t help saying his name out loud; making this moment of having his skin against yours more tangible.
“Tae… Taehyung… Tae baby…”
His groan is sponged into your collarbones by his wet, open mouthed kisses. And then, in a movement faster than the blinks of your rapidly fluttering eyelids, his long, slender fingers curl against the upper hem of your dress and tug it down, baring you from the waist up.
You do not get the time to show your shock, let alone bring yourself back to the reality of what you are doing and whom you are doing it with, before his hands have your breasts cupped in them again. This time, without the layer of your dress’s padded cloth.
All that escapes your mouth is a winding moan, body jolting when he pinches both your nipples between his thumb and the knuckle of his index finger of either hand. 
“So fucking pretty.” 
His voice is impossibly dark and deep, something you’ve heard multiple times before and lose your mind to, every single time. This time bears no exception. Then he leans down to wrap his lips around one of the pebbled tips of your breasts, and you keel over, screaming his name and digging your nails into his back. Tongue flicking at the sensitive nub, his teeth rub over it lightly before he sucks hard.
“Tae…” You helplessly whisper, lost in the sensations only he seems to be capable of igniting in your body.
Raising his head from your breast, he lets his free hand travel down your side to slip past the slit in your dress to trace the hem of your panties, and answers you with a softly breathed, “Yes, baby?” 
His flushed face greets your vision when you open your eyes again. Your own probably looks the same, because you can feel your ears getting warmer by the moment as the pads of his deft fingers scratch at the fabric of your underwear, right above your wet centre. And you’re lost again, closing your eyes and moaning out an elongated version of his name.
“Please… touch me…”
The fingers immediately slide the crotch of your panties aside to brush up against your naked pussy – sensitive and coated with your wetness. A hissed breath is released past your lips, teeth pulling the bottom one between them as you try to keep quiet while Taehyung moves his fingers through your slick centre. His digits travel from the outer edges of your slit, up to your clit and pause there, very lightly tapping at your sensitive nub, before travelling back down.
You are whimpering now, opening up your legs wider and hooking one over his waist in desperation. Taehyung remains unrelenting, teasing you until thick tears of arousal tumble down your cheeks. With a hum that sounds nothing short of sinister satisfaction, he leans in to plant a soft kiss over the tear tracks on your cheeks, and finally, finally slips two of his fingers past your entrance. They curl against your heated insides with practised familiarity, his hand making small pumping motions until he is a little over knuckles deep. 
The tips of his fingers know where to touch you and how tenderly – and he drags them against your rough patch of nerves in a flurry of motions, making you wrap all your limbs around him, sobbing his name over and over again.
Taehyung’s head falls to your shoulder, lips planting kisses between his whispers of your own name back to you.
“I missed you so much, baby… you’re so gorgeous…” he breathes into your skin, kissing a line up to the back of your ear. “I love you so much.”
Emotions and arousal churn inside of you, confusing you and dragging you to the point of delirium. All you know is that you don’t want him to stop, never want him to stop. Stop what – talking or doing what he is with his fingers?
Maybe both. 
So you allow a moan to escape your lips, push your face into his chest, your cheek against the lapel of his coat, and mumble an aching, “I need you inside me, Tae…”
“Yeah?” he immediately holds you tighter against his body, nearly lifting you off the floor, his hair brushing your shoulders as he dips to plant kisses over your breasts that are pressed against his form. “Want me to fuck you, my love?”
“Please… Please, Tae…”
With a muttered curse, he pulls his fingers out of you, making you open your eyes to watch them wordlessly disappear into his mouth. He looks completely fucked out, cheeks a brilliant rosy red, lips swollen as if he’s been nibbling on them, and eyes glazed over. 
Taehyung is without a doubt the most handsome man you have seen in your life. But Taehyung during sex? That is a whole other level of irresistible deliciousness that always drives you crazy. Right now, he looks like he is going to devour you. And you so badly want him to.
Using the hand holding your waist, he twirls you around to press your front against the wall. The roughness of the wall immediately makes your sensitive nipples sting, but you are too far lost in the feel of his hands baring your ass to him – your dress neatly folded over your hips. He grabs the side of your waist to tug your ass back, stepping in between your spread legs. And as you support yourself with your arms against the wall, the sound of his zipper being undone bathes your ears with an echo. There’s a crinkling of foil that follows the sound, which doesn’t surprise you at all. Taehyung has always been very careful and caring in every aspect of your sex life. All of these thoughts just work to heighten your arousal further.
And then he’s there, the fat head of his cock nudging at your entrance, both hands holding onto the cheeks of your ass, spreading them apart lewdly. His length runs through your juices, nudging against the hood of your clit, and you whine, pressing your forehead against the cold surface of the PVC wall panel in front of you. 
“Ready, baby?” Taehyung asks you as if to tease you, the knowing lilt in his voice spilling with mischief.
He knows you are more than ready; have been literally begging him. You try to exhale but a tight groan comes out instead when he pushes just the head of his thick and long – almost too long for you to handle – cock into you.
“Oh, yeah, you’re so ready,” comes his throaty murmur. “So fucking wet, you’re dripping all over me…”
He pushes further in without any more words, the only sounds around you both are your heavy breaths and his gasps of effort as he works his girthy length into your tight channel. 
The way Taehyung fills you up so completely is a feeling you have found nowhere else in the world. The bulging veins running beneath the velvet surface of his cock brush against all the right spots in you despite the layer of latex between you both, and your walls give way for him to be driven all the way in, have him buried to the hilt. He raises your body into a standing position and snakes both his hands to the front of your torso, gripping at your breasts to pull you against him with your back flat against his front. Using them as leverage, he pounds into you hard and fast.
“Fuck – fuck – Tae!”
He grumbles an unintelligible response into the back of your neck, nose pushed into your hair and lips tracing wet patterns on your skin. 
You feel fully surrounded by him – held in his embrace, filled up with him and every breath you take carries the scent of his cologne. Every thrust of his length in you pushes the globes of your breasts further into his large palms, his grunts filtering into your ears. You respond with high-pitched renditions of his name, legs turned to jelly with how hard he is fucking you.
"Missed you," he gasps into you ear in between his motions, with, "so – fucking – much," enunciated in time with the movement of his hips.
You blindly nod, eyes shut and tears leaking through your lids. His grip suddenly loosens on you, hands sliding down your body to mould against the dip of your waist and hold you tight again. Your spine arches, shifting away from him when his thrusts slow down to let you adjust, and head settles over one of the arms that you have braced against the wall.
Taehyung rolls your body onto his cock, growling your name entwined with curses. "Did you miss me too?" he pants, pistoning himself in you, hitting all your sensitive spots.
A sob leaves you, eyes clenching tighter. You missed him. God knows how fucking much. "I – I did…"
"Good… Should've never fucking left me, God," he hisses, movements a blur behind you, the push of his length against that one spongy spot deep within you, making your eyes roll back and a coil begin to tighten in your belly. "I should've fought harder… Begged more…"
His words reach you later than they should because the cloud of lust that envelops you is too thick to permeate. But his words are sharp and extremely heavy – when they get to you, they drop straight down to your stomach, tearing through everything in their wake.
Because you really destroyed him, didn't you? Cursed him to a lifetime of pain just because you couldn't handle fights?
Your eyes open and multiple tears dribble down your face, heart torn.  
"Tae," your whimper, tears falling non-stop even as your orgasm draws closer. "You – you did everything you c–could… fuck… I didn't even try…"
His pace falters, slowing down, a hand racing up your waist to cup your chin and pull it to the side. Your teary eyes meet his own red rimmed ones. 
"Do you love me?"
Oh, God… You're about to say yes, aren't you?
Desperate eyes scan your own, waiting, hoping – but as your uncertain gaping continues, his hips start to snap harder again. His eyes turn to slits, teeth grind together and then his grip on your chin becomes bruising as he grunts, "Talk to me when I ask you a question…"
His dominant persona has always been your undoing, so you aren't the least bit surprised when a whimpered moan is coaxed out of you, along with a jumble of confession.
"I love you! I love – love you so much, Tae! So much, fuck!"
Taehyung curses against the back of your neck, and then separates his upper body from yours to bring his palm down in a sharp spank against your ass. You cry out, brought to the edge by his action.
"A fucking brat, left your man all alone as if – as if you could live without me, huh?"
Beyond the anger and sexual need, you hear pain in his voice and shut your eyes in apology. "Baby… I love you…"
In response, he pulls his length out of you. 
But your gasping protests get swallowed by his mouth when he immediately spins you around to press up against you again, lips on yours and a hand wrapped around your throat. The other hand taps at your thigh to get you to manoeuver your legs around his hip.
He effortlessly holds you up against the wall and slides his cock home again, this time with his teeth digging into your tongue.
"You fucking killed me, baby," he grunts into your mouth, snapping his hips against yours angrily. "It's been h–hell without you…"
His jaw tightens just as his hand tightens around your throat. You groan when  the action builds your peak quicker than before.
"I'm… I'm sorry…" You do not recognise the voice that comes out of you, but you mean your apology with your heart. 
"And so am I, baby, shit… So fucking sorry, you have no fucking idea…" His words are nearly sobbed, but you feel them seep into your bones.
Then his lips move to lick a path down your chin, and then, tightening his grip on your throat to the point where you actually feel your air supply getting cut off, he latches onto a nipple with a hum of delight. 
All sensations crescending in under a minute, you give a muffled shout of Taehyung's name, eyes screwing shut and hips stuttering uncontrollably against his as you are toppled over the edge. The walls of your pussy quiver around his cock in a delicious rhythm which has your back arching and a cry tearing out of your throat.
Your vision goes completely dark. The zaps of electricity that run across your skin are something only Taehyung has ever been capable of eliciting from you.
Almost immediately, before you can even catch your bearings, he whimpers your name against your breast and goes stiff over you. You wait in anticipation as he groans, releasing himself into the condom.
Taehyung still keeps you in the air against the wall despite the jitters that wrack his body, exhaling shuddering breaths that mist over your sweaty collarbones. His arms are the only buoys holding you up from sinking to the ground with exhausted relief, and you cling onto them with desperation. His softening length still rests in you and some part of you feels unwilling to let go of it, making you involuntarily clench. Hissing, Taehyung grips your waist harder.
A hand swipes at your hair, shifting it off your forehead, which makes you realise your eyes are shut. When a finger tips your chin up, you open them to meet Taehyung's gaze. His cheeks are flushed and eyes tender. Noticing the mess that has become of his hair, you run your hands up to his own forehead, attempting to arrange it. 
His plush lips spread into a soft smile, then inhaling, "You… said you love me," he breathes out against your face. You stiffen, eyes dropping to his tie and shirt which he didn't even take off. "Did you mean it?"
You did. You absolutely meant it.
But something in you holds you back from confirming it.
A heavy, heartbreaking sigh leaves him, body visibly slumping in defeat. Very slowly, Taehyung pulls out of you and makes to unwind your legs from around his waist, and you—
You feel like you're about to lose him again. 
As if releasing you right now would mean that he will never touch you again. Never be near you again. Never look at you again.
And the mere thought of that frightens you to death.
So you cross your ankles behind his back and run your arms up his biceps to hold onto the back of his neck. His surprised eyes fly to yours, hesitant but so immensely full of hope, you nearly tear up again.
Inhaling deeply, you nod. "Yes. I meant it. I love you, Tae. Always have, never stopped."
A sharp inhale, followed by a gasping chuckle, and Taehyung's eyes widen in wonder. "You… didn't?"
You shake your head. "Not for a single moment. Even when I wanted to tear your hair out, I loved you more than is humanly possible."
His grip on you tightens before he brings your head to his chest, embracing you like his life depends on it. And maybe it does, because yours does too, which is why you wrap yourself around him like a koala, unbothered how you're still bare except for the dress bunched up in the middle of your waist.
The feel of his firm chest and strong, thumping heartbeat under your ear has tears flowing from your eyes unbidden.
"You," you murmur with a sniffle, "you said you're sorry. Did you—"
"Meant every word," he whispers into your hair in between pressing multiple kisses over it.
A weight suddenly lifts off your shoulders. "You do?" 
"I am so terribly sorry for every damn thing I did to you, baby." His hold on you tightens a bit more. "And I wish… I wish I'd apologised every time you needed me to. I wish I'd fired Somi when you asked me to… I wish I fucking trusted you when you told me not to worry about Hoseok. I…"
He pulls away to meet your gaze and a sob crawls out of you at the wrecked look on his face.
"I wish I was better to you, baby. And I wish I can go back and correct all the things I did wrong, but…"
You nod. "M–me, too. I wish I understood you better. And – and that I was braver, fought for us instead of quitting when things got tough…"
The two of you stare at each other in silence for a while after that. There's nothing much left to say, anyway. 
It is no secret to you how much you suffered in his absence. How you laid awake in bed, nights upon nights, missing Taehyung and his warm cuddles. How you cried yourself to sleep in the early hours of the morning, berating yourself for doing what you did to the two of you. How you used to avoid him at any cost when he tried to get to you because you knew he could make your resolve crumble. 
How you kept hoping you did the right thing.
How the pain in your heart always argued that the right thing wouldn't hurt so much.
You have been so stupid. God, you've been a complete and absolute idiot.
Did you really forget all that time when you and him made plans for your future back in college? Nights spent under the blanket of stars, gazing at the twinkling diamonds in the sky and wondering if you'd both fly high enough to touch them someday.
You were supposed to do that together.
Why did you let go of that dream so easily?
You gave up when you should've done the opposite of that. Kept thinking your happily-ever-after was flawed, when it was you that stopped trying.
And now when you look into the eyes of the love of your life, you never want to look away.
"It's not all your fault, baby," he whispers because he reads you. He knows you, the way no one ever has and no one ever will. "I let my insecurities dictate the way I acted around you… Always assumed the worst, let my fears do the thinking instead of logic."
You exhale. "What if – what if we try again?"
"What?" His eyes jump to saucers, sparkling with more than just excitement. "You…"
And he’s looking at you as if it’s surreal. Which doesn’t make sense because of course this is what you would suggest. It is where your conversation was headed, the logical conclusion of the two of you resolving your misunderstandings and apologising for your past mistakes.
But – he looks at you as if hearing you say it makes his heart drum against yours like a metronome, as if in the last five miserable years the two of you stayed away from each other, he has never considered this to be a reasonable possibility. And if he is thinking all of that, he isn’t too off the mark, is he?
Because you gave up all hope as well.
Your grip on him tightens, bringing your faces closer. "I don't wanna be away from you again, Tae. And – and I know we have run away from our problems and caused more problems, but we can try to do better, right? We can learn. Right?"
Taehyung's response is a watery smile and a nod so vigorous, it jolts both of you. You push your face into his neck with a giggle and he does the same to you, saying, "It might take time, but we will find our way. We will learn each other again."
And you just nod back, dissolving in his tight embrace. "Promise to trust me more? I promise to understand you better."
"I promise. I promise, baby, I promise." 
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Jimin passes you a knowing smile when you walk out of the venue with your hand entwined with Taehyung's, telltale rumples in your gown and a shit eating grin on your companion's face. 
"Missed having you around, kid," Jimin mumbles as you wrap your arms around him in a hug. "Never make me pick sides again, okay?"
“I never did, but Tae needed you more.” You pull away with a smile. "And I missed you, too."
Sometime later, Jungkook finds you and nearly cries in happiness when you tell him what happened. Well, minus the r-rated details, that is. 
You and Taehyung are going back to your own places for the night, which makes both Jimin and Jungkook raise impressed eyebrows when Taehyung and you join them in their respective cars. But you both are determined.
This time, you don’t want any glitches in your happily-ever-after and you will do things the right way to get to it. This time, there won’t be overthinking and assumptions, you’ll replace them with communication.
As your cars drive each other by, moving in different directions, you and Taehyung pass each other soft smiles.
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© jimilter | 2022
taglist: @shrimpmsg​​ @codeinebelle​​ @afangirllikeme-blog​​ @duchesskaren​​ @opaljm​​ @ressjeon​​ @loveejkk​​ @kookiya17​​ @jub-jub​​ @realisticnotes​​ @chami @dopedreamfireparty​​ @fanficscuziranout​​ @prod-yuri​​
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btssmutgalore · 2 days ago
fwb with bts ♡ masterpost
What happens when you are friends with benefits.
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⤑ word count: 7k (around 1k per member) ⤑ genre: smut ⤑ pairing: bts x reader (a drabble for each member) ⤑ warnings: mentions of sexual topics, sexual intercourse (warnings will be added to each chapter) ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ read on AO3 ⤑ masterlist
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⤑ Jin [22/05] ⤑ Namjoon [23/05] ⤑ Yoongi [24/05] ⤑ Taehyung [25/05] ⤑ Jimin [26/05] ⤑ Hoseok [27/05] ⤑ Jungkook [28/05]
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you can find the masterlist here and share your feedback with me here, if you want to. if you enjoy reading my stories, please consider supporting me using buymeacoffee. thank you! :)
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jeonqkooks · a day ago
might as well | kth
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Taehyung makes sure the two of you two live up to your tardy reputation.
pairing: taehyung x reader
rating: 18+ (minors dni)
genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff if you squint, smut (pwp), just a lil quickie, protected sex, big dicc!tae, dirty talk
word count: 1.4k
note: this has been sitting in my drafts for over a month now. i said i’d post it like 4 weeks ago and i just.. didn’t lol. again, not very edited sooo if you see any mistakes, you absolutely did not!
— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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You’re adding the final touches to your makeup and finishing it off with a setting spray when two strong arms wrap around you from behind in a warm embrace.
“Hi,” you greet your boyfriend, turning your head to the side to press a kiss to his cheek.
“Hi, baby,” he says as he examines the material of your dress between his fingers. 
When he pulls you closer and holds your body flushed against his, you feel his intention before he voices it.
“Taehyung, no,” you chastise him like a puppy. “We promised we’d be on time for once!”
“Come on, baby,” he pouts adorably, however what his hips are doing is anything but innocent. He’s rutting his erection against your ass, breath hitching with every shallow thrust like he’s a horny teenager again though you’re not sure if he ever really grew out of that phase.
He doesn’t wait for you to respond before he’s slipping a hand under your dress to cup you through your lace panties. “Tae!” you gasp and instinctively grind down on his hand. This is how you know it’s a losing battle. He does this every time and it always works on you.
When he feels your panties start to dampen, he smirks as he rubs your clothed clit. “I’m hard and you’re wet,” he states, kissing your neck to further persuade you. “We might as well just fuck, y’know?”
“Tae…” you sigh, your resolve hanging by a thread with every stroke of his fingers. The more you grind against his hand, the more your ass unintentionally brushes his dick. “He’s gonna be mad,” you whine in vain.
“Let him,” he shrugs indifferently. He turns your body around to face him and presses a peck to your lips with a sweet smile. “I’ll be quick, I promise. Fifteen minutes, hmm?”
You narrow your eyes at him suspiciously. It’s never fifteen minutes; he’ll just want to fuck you longer once he’s inside and you’ll be too lost in pleasure to protest.
“Fine. But seriously, be quick.”
Taehyung practically drags you to the bed and pushes you down before he fumbles with his belt for a minute. As you wait for him to step out of his slacks and pull his cock out of his boxers, you quickly slide your panties down your legs and lie back, ready for him whenever he is.
When his fingers slide under the dress again and come into contact with your bare and slickening pussy, he lets out a stupidly attractive groan that sends a rush of arousal straight through your body.
You stop him when his fingers start to circle your entrance, ready to stretch you out. “It’s okay. Just fuck me.”
“You sure?” he asks.
You give him a hum of confirmation and bunch the skirt around your waist, revealing your cunt to him and grinding against his bare cock. The feeling of your wet folds makes Taehyung groan in anticipation while he fumbles with his wallet in search of a condom. When he finally pulls one out, he throws the wallet to the ground carelessly, all of his focus directed at tearing into the tinfoil and wrapping the rubber around his member.
Fuck, you’re a sight to see—laid underneath him all flushed and needy, legs spread widely to give him the best view of your glistening pussy. How he wishes he could just ditch this dinner and have his way with you till you can’t walk anymore, but Seokjin will most likely have his head if he doesn’t show up to the one event that the older man has been planning for weeks.
“I’m gonna take my time with you later, sweetheart,” Taehyung grunts as he gives himself a few experimental pumps. “Right now, I just need to feel you cream on my cock.”
His tip teases your entrance before he pushes in, making both of your breaths hitch as you finally connect. He doesn’t stop until he’s fully sheathed inside your velvet walls, but he doesn’t move just yet to let you adjust to his size. “Ah, Tae…” you whimper as his cock stretches your pussy a little uncomfortably.
“I know, baby,” he kisses your neck and squeezes your hips apologetically, though it’s not really his fault that he was blessed with such a generous package. You gasp when he rubs your clit to help you relax and open up more. Soon, your natural slick starts to ooze from your widening hole, coating his condom-clad member and his fingers that are still stimulating your bundle of nerves. 
“Ah…” you mewl, beginning to grow needy, “fuck me, Tae.”
Immediately pulling his hips back, you both moan when he pushes forward again, gliding his hard cock along your wet walls. Taehyung repeats the movements over, and over, and over again, until your mouth is hanging open with incoherent cries as you feel your climax approaching.
When he leans down for a kiss, you put a hand on his chest to stop him. “No,” you breathe, “you’ll ruin my makeup.”
He rolls his eyes half-heartedly before ducking down to press soft kisses to the skin of your neck. He doesn’t dare suck hickeys into your delicate canvas, knowing you’ll scold him later if you have to scramble to cover up the marks. 
“You feel so good, sweetheart,” he coos, shifting his hips slightly to fuck you harder. “This pretty pussy is made for my cock, yeah?”
“Only for you,” you moan brokenly, body shifting up the bed slightly whenever he thrusts into you. The sounds of his balls slapping against your ass echo around the room and make you even wetter than you already are. “Ah fuck, Tae!” a particularly sharp thrust has you crying out and clutching his shoulders. “Faster, please… I wanna cum on your cock so bad… You always fuck me so good, baby.”
“Fuck,” he grunts, a hand landing on your chest to paw at one of your tits through your clothes. Your sweet moans in his ears, your supple breast in his palm, your tight cunt sucking him in whenever he pulls back. “Are you almost there?” his voice is strained as he tries to keep his orgasm at bay.
Ironically, his phone suddenly buzzes to life somewhere across the room, maybe on your vanity table, with a call from whom he’s sure must be Seokjin. The sounds of the device vibrating harshly against the wood startle you, your pussy clamping down unexpectedly hard on his cock and it almost makes him cum in the process. 
“Almost,” you mumble weakly, trying to focus on your impending release and ignoring the annoying buzzing, which thankfully ceases after a moment. “So close…”
Taehyung picks up the pace to help you get there, fucking you faster and rougher than before, the base of his cock rubs against your clit with every thrust. “Come on, come on,” he chants quietly, “wanna feel you cum for me.”
Your body obliges, your walls contracting around him as you come apart from the pleasure. “T–Taehyung…” when his name keeps falling from your lips while he fucks you through your high, he can’t help but let his body succumb too.
“Ah, fuck!” His warm seed fills the condom and you wish that he was shooting his cum into you instead. Your pussy squeezes his cock to help him prolong his orgasm and milk him of everything. “Fuck, sweetheart, I love you…”
“Love you too,” you whisper and pull him down for a peck, still careful to not ruin your makeup. He stays inside of you for a few more moments, grinning lazily above you and only pulling out when his dick starts to soften and his cum starts to spill from the condom.
As Taehyung gets up to throw the used rubber in the trash, you just lay there, legs still spread and pussy still glistening with your release, too tired to move. 
“Why do you always get horny whenever we have to go out?” you ask accusingly.
“It’s not my fault!” he raises his hands in mock defense, returning to your side and wiping at your messy pussy with a wet towel. “You only wear dresses when we attend something and y’know, it gets me going.”
(When you show up at Seokjin’s apartment forty five minutes after the agreed upon time, he only gives you two a look and shakes his head. “I’m disappointed, but I can’t say I’m surprised.”)
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— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means.
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pixieknj · 2 days ago
plaything | PJM+KTH+JJK (18+)
❥pairing: mafia! maknae line X black!reader
❥genre: mafia AU, angst, smut
❥summary: Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook never fail to remind you that you’re they’re new plaything… [OR] getting passed around between the maknae line…
❥!!warnings!!: yandere?, gun play, degradation, humiliation, slut shaming, slut is used A LOT, mentions of violence, recording nudity
❥other warnings: sexual intercourse (please use protection!), riding, some fingering, spanking
❥notice: none.
❥word count: 2.5k
inspo: the video above 😮‍💨
-author’s note: uhmmmmm🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️ Yeah felt like writing my first “four-way” fic on here out of no where for a little practice I guess. Hope you enjoy!!!!💛
“You’re in trouble.” 
“F-For what?” 
Jimin didn’t answer you as he dragged you along with him to the waiting limo. Jungkook wasn’t too far behind, busy with contacting the boss, most likely about how terrible the mission went tonight. And it was all going to fall back on you.
Taehyung was waiting with the chauffeur with the back door of the limo open, just as angry. His hair was curly and dark, covering the hazel contacts he had in tonight. “What the fuck was that?” 
You figured he was talking about your execution, and Jimin let him know how poorly you did. You stumbled in your strap heels when he came to an abrupt stop. “If someone wasn’t being such a whore, the target wouldn’t have gotten away.” 
So this is what had Jimin and Jungkook so pressed back there that they had to intervene? You couldn’t believe they were doing this right now. They were fucking up your job that you didn’t even want to do in the first place. 
“W-What?!” You stuttered, looking from Jimin to Taehyung as they seemed to have some sort of mental conversation. You don’t know why you pouted at Taehyung as if he would believe you; He was crazier than all three of them combined but you had to try. “Taehyung… I swear it wasn’t my fault.” 
“She was dancing with another man,” Jimin said, tightening his grip on your wrist. 
Taehyung looked at you with a stare darker than the night. “Is that true?” 
“I-…” Fuck. You literally hated them. “It’s true, but—!” 
“Put her in the car.” 
Jimin quite literally shoved you into the back of the black, sleek limo, your hand hitting the seat too hard so that you didn’t fall face first, almost making you break a nail. You quickly straightened yourself up when you noticed Jungkook getting in the car on the other side, the gun he used to shoot a couple of people tonight still visible in his hand without a care as he spoke on the phone in his native language. 
You hoped he wasn’t as mad at you tonight, hell, you hoped neither of them were. They were already twisted, and you wanted to get back to the mansion and rest. It wasn’t going to happen, but it wasn’t your fault for tonight’s failure. 
How were they going to give you a mission that required you to seduce the target to lure him into the back of the building? And then get so jealous when you try to seduce said target and pop up into the damn VIP booth with guns, completely blowing your damn cover? Annoying. Now you were going to feel the wrath of their anger about losing an important kill. 
Jimin eventually slid in beside you on the left while Taehyung took the other side of the limo in front of you, Jimin, and Jungkook. You were in the middle of all three of them and hoping for no extra shit tonight. 
The chauffeur drove away from the building the event of the night took place in, and you did your best to not make eye contact with any of the men around you. One word spoken that they didn’t like, and you were going to have your ass handed to you. You wished the ride was quiet for the entire hour drive back, but Taehyung spoke. 
“________.” The way your name sounded on his tongue… You had to look up and meet eyes with him. It was rule. They were all handsome, but something about Taehyung’s face was the scariest. “Would you like to tell me what happened?” 
You quickly shook your head no. Jungkook or Jimin would then explain what happened after you, and then you would be accused of lying or not telling the whole story, even though your story would be one hundred percent correct and not overdramatized. Like what they were doing with you flirting with the target. 
Jungkook decided to deepen that wound. “To put it short, she was being a slut,” he said from beside you. “I don’t think it was acting, hyung. Looked too real.” 
You bit your bottom lip to keep from yelling out what you wanted. 
“We did get her off of the streets,” Jimin mumbled, crossing his arms with an attitude. “What do you expect?” 
Taehyung shifted his gaze back to you, and you gave him an annoyed look. He wanted you to try and defend yourself, like always, so you did. 
“I was literally only doing my job,” you said, explaining your actions. “You all told me that I had to quote on quote ‘use my charms’ to get him to follow me to the back of the building. I was still in the VIP section working on him when Jimin and Jungkook came in and started shooting. The target got away.”
Taehyung seemed to think about your words, and no, you didn’t have hope that he was going to agree with you. Your arms crossed when he said, “But we didn’t say act like a slut, ________.”
“I wasn’t,” you said through gritted teeth, trying not to raise your voice. How could they be so delusional about this. 
Jungkook laughed beside you, and you felt his arm go around your waist. You let him pull you into his lap, his hand settling over your bare thigh. “Our slut doesn’t want to admit she’s a slut,” Jungkook pointed out, the hand on your leg kneading at the brown skin. 
“Who’s going to tell the others that we actually did hire a slut?” Jimin sighed, running a hand through his black hair. 
“Don’t know,” Taehyung shrugged, and you swear you started seeing red at how much they were talking about you as if you weren’t even there. “But I’m sure our hyungs would like her even more.” 
You finally spoke up. And out of turn. 
“I’m not a slut!” 
A silent pause filled the limo, but you could tell they all had the quiet agreement to make you pay for the disrespect…
In the haze of anger, you forgot that these three, especially the youngest, were dangerous killers. Psychopathic killers at that. There wasn’t another single moment of hesitation in the man’s movements beneath you. The gun to your neck scared you, but not as much as the tattooed and pierced man that was holding it. 
“Don’t you know better than to raise your voice, slut?” He lowly asked, the grip around your waist tightening to keep you still. It didn’t matter that you were on his lap and slightly more elevated. He still had the upper hand. “You’re getting really beside yourself tonight.” 
You swallowed when you felt the heavy metal press more into your throat, knowing that it was loaded. Taehyung and Jimin looked on in mute curiosity, seeming to enjoy this… discipline.
You felt the gun start moving, and you flinched, but Jungkook wasn’t letting you go anywhere. His hand was digging into your side as hard as the gun was digging into your upper chest plate. It was dragged slowly down your bare skin, sternum exposed because of the very low cut dress you were wearing, and you jumped again. Jungkook chuckled. “You won’t do that again, right? You should learn some respect…” 
You softly whimpered when he used the barrel of his black pistol to move the thin material that already didn’t cover all of your breast. One of your nipples was freed and flicked with the gun, snagging on the hole in the weapon. You were sweating. Then getting much more hot when the gun was brought down to between your legs. You wanted to snap his neck. 
Until Jungkook yanked up the hem of your short, black dress and pressed the coldness of the gun right up against the skin of your privacy. You grabbed for his shoulder to steady yourself when he pushed one of your legs to indicate to move it out of the way. 
You really could fathom that this motherfucker was holding his damn gun against you in this way. It wasn’t anything that wouldn’t be on the list of fucked up shit he’s done. 
However, after applying more pressure, the weapon grazed against your clit and made you moan. You were getting wet, too. They were going to hold this against you forever if you let him go much further. 
“Ohh,” Jungkook smirked when he saw you move a bit towards the pistol. “Not a slut but you’ll take a good pounding from my gun? I’ll fuck you with it if you want. Bet you’d be soaking if I keep the safety off…” 
The thought of Jungkook fucking you with his gun was getting you riled up. Was it because it was dangerous with a high chance of you getting shot in the damn coochie? Was it because they would find it sexy to watch? You didn’t know, but you were starting to grind on his stupid glock, and he started teasing again. 
“How about I make you cum all over it? Make you a real dirty whore, huh?” Bending his head down to catch your exposed nipple, you threw your head back. Him sucking on your tit with his favorite weapon rubbing against your pussy was fucking you up in the worst way… 
“She’s enjoying it,” Jimin said, to which Jungkook let go of your nipple with a wet pop. 
“So? Wanna see her lose it while riding my glock.” 
“Give her here.” Jimin reached for you, and you wanted to scream when Jungkook actually handed you off to the pretty male. You were thrown over Jimin’s lap, your torso pressed to his thick thighs, the back of your dress pushed up higher on your waist. “She needs a real lesson.”
“N-No,” you whined, using your right hand to cover your backside as much as you could because you knew what was about to happen. It was snatched out of the way and almost broken with how your arm was twisted in Jimin’s grip. 
“No?” Jimin asked, dumbfounded that you’d dare try not to accept one of his spankings. There was a very hard slap against your left ass cheek. That alone almost brought you to tears. “So you really do need a lesson? And you’re not wearing panties?” 
Another slap, harder than the first one. 
You couldn’t speak to defend yourself with the fact that they were the ones who sat in this very fucking limo before the mission and made you take your underwear off for laughs. You were sure Taehyung still had them in his pocket. 
“Such a slut that you wanted to flash that dickhead for the fun of it?” Jimin falsely accused you, his hand slapping your cheeks twice this time. They hurt more since he was wearing steel rings and using all his strength. He wasn’t even being fair tonight. 
He hit you again, almost making you scream but you covered it with another whine. He grabbed one of your cheeks and spread them, cool air breezing your core. You moaned. “Why are you so fucking wet?” 
You wanted to ask yourself that exact same question. Why were you sexually excited over these three psychopaths that treated you unfairly at every chance they got? Of course the answer was because they could fuck the living daylights out of you. 
“You’re too nice with her,” Taehyung criticized, and you turned your head to see him and Jungkook eyeing the mess between your legs. Jimin then slipped two fingers inside without warning to show them more. Your hips tried to resist, but you could only take it. 
“It’s not my fault she likes being punished,” he said, shallowly pumping your hole. Now you were trying to fuck yourself back on him. It felt too good. “Slut.” 
You despised the word, but hearing them constantly call you it, while kind of proving that it was true… They could do whatever they wanted to you.
Jimin hit you more times than you could count. Your cheeks were stinging and numbing so bad, but you could still feel the wetness between them, the hardness between Jimin’s own thighs, too. You were just as sick as them. 
Jimin eventually pulled you up, nudging you back into your original sitting position between him and Jungkook. Your eyes were watery, and you knew your mascara was smudged. You told yourself that you didn’t want any other form of punishment, but the way Taehyung was looking at you as if it was his turn had you wanting more. Including actually getting fucked by a gun and more spanks before the ride was over. 
“Pretty girl,” Jungkook said when he saw your face. “Hyung’s gonna make it even prettier.” 
You thought that it meant Taehyung was going to face fuck you to more tears when you saw him spread his legs across from you. But he had other plans as he ordered you to come over to his side while he unbuckled his black slacks. Instead of being pushed to your knees, you were pulled onto his lap. Reverse cowgirl. Facing the other two. 
This was worse than being face fucked. At least your only focus would have been Taehyung, and your body would have been turned away from Jimin and Jungkook. But no. Now they had front row seats. 
Taehyung had his dick out in no time and ready to put the girth of it all into you. You secretly thanked Jimin for spreading you out a bit, because Taehyung gave no shits about hurting you. Your screams pleased him the most. 
But so did the “Mmm, Taehyung~” you moaned out for him for filling you up. Eyes closed, mouth open, you rode the deep thrusts he pounded from below. His fingernails digging into the sides of your waist were going to scar, but you ignored the pain and focused on your skin slapping against his. 
“Can’t really punish you when you enjoy being used like our little plaything,” he grunted the truth into your ear. “You’re always asking for it.” 
Taehyung brought his hands up to fully pull your breasts out, squeezing them too hard while he bit over your neck and shoulder. Your droopy and crying eyes were able to slit open for a few seconds when you heard noises other than the ones you and Taehyung were making. Your entire body clenched up when you saw that Jungkook and Jimin were enjoying it as much as you were, Jungkook jacking off to the sight, Jimin doing the same but recording with the other hand. It was going to get sent to the four oldest. 
With the other two watching and Taehyung fucking into you like it was going to be his last time, you yelled into your orgasm. Taehyung blew his load into you moments after, giving the other two a show of the cumshot as he slowly pulled out. And then you were handed back to the youngest. Tired and sore. 
“Wait til we tell our hyungs about what you just did,” Jungkook smirked like a brat, his hand rubbing over the harsh hand prints Jimin left you with. You were too stunned to care about them causing more hell for you back at the mansion. Your tear-streaked face tucked into his chest.
“Three men in a few minutes?” he tsked. “They’re gonna ruin you for that.” 
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yeonjuns-beanie · 2 days ago
Vegas Lights
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Warnings: 18+, smuuttt, unprotected sex, one night stand vibes kind of, drinking, alcohol consumption, oral(m receiving), slight daddy kink(mentioned twice), slight slight ass play, dom/sub themes, kinda fluffy at the end not really
Taehyung x female!reader
a/n: I started this fic when they landed in vegas and have been avoiding it since they left lolskdjfkd. I just didn't know what to do with it, but I finally figured it out. Hope you enjoy :)) - Nero
Your eyes fluttered open as you felt the sun peak through the blinds. The warmth of spring hits you full force without even stepping outside. You sit up on your couch and reorientate your vision to your surroundings. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you get up from the couch you had taken your nap on and stretch. Feeling the blood rush back through your limbs and your body wake up, you grab your phone which had fallen in the couch cushion.
The clock on your lock screen read 4:50 and you had some notifications from your group chat. Opening your texts, you were faced with your friends planning your evening. You almost didn’t respond back but decided that you definitely needed a night out. With the end of the semester coming up faster than you expected you needed some type of relief.
Michelle: girl you know if she’s this silent shes prolly asleep 
Cal: bitch pick up the phone i know it take you 9 years to get ready
Taylor: maybe if we just keep texting the notifs will wake her up 
Cal: …we’ve been spamming….
Taylor: we’ll let's keep doing it 
Y/N: damn y’all are needy
Michelle: fINALLY 
Cal: girl wtf you been doing 
Y/N: sleeping…
Cal: you are always sleeping wtf if it’s not that you’re swamped with school
Y/N: sjdkfkds bitch it’s not like i want to be swamped 
Taylor: well maybe if you didn’t wait til the last minute
Y/N: …..
Y/N: .....
Y/N: least i stayed in school leave me alone 
Taylor: HEY 
Y/N: are we doing smth tn or whats going on
Michelle: girl i know you know bts in town…wanna hit the strip…and go out and be sexy
Cal: yeah be sexy,,,like always 
Taylor: y’all are delusional it’s not like we gon run into em
Michelle: but we might…
Y/N: like our lil gamble, im down
Y/N: when we leavin
Cal: well it’s almost 4:30 now so yall wanna shoot for 8ish?
Taylor: I’ll drive cuz yall…be stupid
Y/N: lol u right
Y/N: aight see yall in a few
Michelle: go get made up for tae
With that, everyone liked your message and laughed at Michelle’s. A thumbs down coming from Taylor. You looked at your phone and laughed before setting your phone down on the couch and heading into the kitchen to grab something to munch on. 
Opening the fridge you realized you didn’t have much of anything, so you settled on some fruit, grabbed a bottle of water, and walked into your bedroom. Setting your snack down on your bedside table, you walked to your closet and began the treacherous process of creating an outfit for tonight. 
You saw one of your leather tops poking out from the row of clothes, almost calling on you to pick it. You grabbed your black jeans and left the thought of what shoes to wear before you left. Heading into the bathroom you got yourself ready. 
You turned on your tv in your bedroom and put on a playlist so you could have some noise while you got ready. You started with your makeup first, knowing that it always took the longest. Once you finished you started to curl your hair. Feathering it away from your face so you’d have curl and volume once you finished. Pulling the iron out from its socket, you walked back into your main room to grab your phone and give it some charge. 
Hooking it up to its charger, your home screen flashed open and you had 7 unread messages in your group chat and the clock read 7:50. 
How do I always take forever to get ready? 
You thought to yourself. Looking over your messages, you realized that Taylor was already making her way to picking everyone up. As you were reading over your missed messages, another sent through
Michelle: bitch you always the last one you better be ready when we pull up
Y/N: LOL i will i just finished my makeup i just gotta get dressed
Cal: well you better do it quick cuz we bout to pull in your complex 
Y/N: damn
Dropping your phone on the bed you put on your clothes on quickly. Wiggling into your jeans you waddled over to your purse rack glossing your final accessory for the night. Sliding your pants up over the round of your ass, you landed on a purse colored black and purple and resembling fur.
Before deciding on a pair of shoes, you packed your bag of any cosmetics or necessities you may need through the night. You finally decided on a pair of black platforms, that brought you not only height but brought attention to your best asset; your lower half. 
Spritzing yourself with your favorite perfume, you grabbed your phone and your bag and headed out your front door. Turning around to lock your apartment, you texted your group chat that you were on your way down. Coming out the from the stairway of your apartment you heard your friends catcalling you from Taylor's car.
Nothing like a warm welcome
Getting into the backseat you greeted everyone with a side hug due to your confinements in the car. Cal turned around to look at you,
“I’m impressed. I think this is the first time you came out to the car within 10 minutes. Proud of you babe”
“If you want me to take longer I can go take a shit real quick”
Taylor groaned
“Alright, off to the strip we go. If need be take your shit at Caesar’s or something”
You giggled, 
“Where are we going anyway?”
Michelle but in before Taylor could respond
“Girl, ion know how Taylor did it but we going to fuckin Omnia tonight”
“The Steve Aoki club??”
Taylor looked behind before backing out
“It doesn’t open until 10 so we got like two hours to kill”
“Well technically one because it’s a Friday night and we finna be on the strip.”
You clicked your teeth together letting out a slight hiss 
“Maybe we should grab some food before we drink, or maybe even pregame. We can get those big ass daiquiris the just split it while we walk around before it opens.”
Cal hummed in agreement.
“Not a bad idea Y/N
Taylor looked up in the rearview mirror checking the lane over to make sure she was clear to enter the far right lane. 
“Okay so I’m gonna park at the Venetian because it’s right across the street and we won’t have to pay for parking” 
Cal groaned 
“But it’s so far.”
Pulling into the driveway of the Venetian Taylor turned around 
“Do you want to pay $20 for parking?”
The silence that erupted in the car was soon disturbed by bubbles of giggles. 
“That’s what I thought” 
After searching around the floors for a parking spot, you guys finally found one, and all climbed out of the car. Michelle swiped down the bottom of her skirt and huffed out. 
“I did not think my shoes through” 
As you guys were walking to the elevator Taylor laughed but assured your friend that she would be alright. 
“We have a table so if you want, all you can do tonight is sit and look pretty.” 
“Haha very funny”
Coming down the elevator, you could smell the faint scent of various cigarettes and cigars pouring through the vents. The signature slightly clean scent that all Vegas hotels had was the overtone of the atmosphere. The elevator finally dinged down to the ground level and you guys began your trek out to the boulevard. 
Turning left onto the street, you saw Omnia on the right side of the street. Looking around the strip felt different. It didn’t feel like Vegas. The strip's aura was different with the addition of BTS being in town. The strip being purple, the Borahegas posters adorning some billboards, the pop-up shops you knew were around town, and the billboards playing their faces. It all felt new and fresh. The warm welcome for BTS making Vegas seem not so dull for once in your life. 
As you guys continued your walk, you saw a Fat Tuesday’s not too far ahead. 
“Hey, guys, why don’t we go to Fat Tuesday’s. We can get the big frozen drink there!” 
Despite the line you saw forming from the building, you guys didn’t mind because it was a Friday night. Everywhere was going to be busy so you kinda had to suck it up. The further you walked into the strip the more the scent changed and now it resembled something of New York. Humid trash, sewage, and an array of smoke filled the air. 
By the time you guys reached the counter to get your drinks, it was bordering 9:30pm. Spotting Ceasar’s Palace in the distance, you guys decided to make the walk down to Omnia. The walk took up most of the time and the rest was spent waiting in the line for the club to open. Once inside the atmosphere had one thing on your mind. 
I’m bringing someone or someone is taking me home tonight. 
You had been long overdue for some loving in the sheets and you were determined to have that rectified this evening. Looking around the building, the lights were more than bright, the music had your chest vibrating. The bass reverberating off your fleshy walls and finding purchase in your stomach. You looked over towards the bar but your friends kept walking further, following Taylor. 
Trying to catch up, your eyes caught a man with floppy black hair, bangs hanging softly to the side, and in a white shirt tracking your moves. His stare was intense and it had excitement brewing in your stomach. Shooting him a small smile, you whipped your head back towards your friends and followed them outside. 
Cal was the first to speak up. 
“Bitch you got a fuckin table?? Who’d you blow for this?”
You and Michelle both laughed, Michelle, finding comfort in the seating provided.  
Taylor rolled her eyes and shot Cal a look. 
“Your dad, now what do you want to drink?”
“First of all, my dad is nowhere near a dilf so props to you soldier. Second, Sex on the Beach.”
You laughed 
“Fruity bitch.” 
“Y/N we go over this every time, not everyone likes to be throwing ass by their second drink, some of us like to enjoy being tipsy.”
“Sounds fruity to me” 
“Girl, shut up.”
Looking towards Michelle she waved you off and told you her usual. 
You all giggled and Taylor looked at you motioning you to come with her to the bar. Approaching the long counter, you saw a familiar head. 
They guy from when you walked in. It was as if he could sense your presence, his head turning to glance over his surroundings and he stopped abruptly, taking a quick double take when his eyes fell on you. You bowed your head slightly, feeling a little flushed.  You straightened yourself out and leaned up against the bar to tell the bartender your order. Standing up straight you looked to your left finally becoming acquainted with the eyes that were boring into you. 
He looked down at you and smirked. A range of emotions ran through your face before he finally spoke. 
“Taehyung. What’s your name beautiful?” 
“Pretty name you have there.”
You giggled looking down at the counter, as if the gods above were trying to save you from your own embarrassment, the bartender slid your drinks toward you and Taylor. 
“Want me to start a tab for you guys or is this it for now?
Taylor spoke before you 
“We’ll close it for now.”
The bartender gave the total and Taylor just told you to zelle her your part once you got to the table. She grabbed the third drink. 
“What are you doing, I’ll help.”
Taylor came up to your ear, 
“Girl, you are about to be real busy, come back when you’re finished with him.”
She laughed, leaving you with a strand of shame before looking back to the man named Taehyung. Wanting a conversation to start flowing you racked your brain for conversation starters. 
“So what brings you out here?”
Really Y/N? That’s your best thought??
What surprised you was how his eyes seemed to go wide at your question. Almost as if he was confused by it. 
“Well for a few things actually. My band members and I are performing for the Grammy’s this weekend and we have a few shows the two weeks following.”
For some reason, who it was you were talking to was not clicking. Even though half of the reason for coming out tonight was to “run into BTS and be sexy”, you were in fact face to face with a BTS member and couldn’t bring yourself to run with the reality of it. You were holding a conversation with Taehyung himself yet you did not recognize in the moment that it was Taehyung. In doing so, your next question further caught him off guard. 
“Oh! That’s pretty awesome! What’s your band's name?” 
Proudly, he slipped back into his native tongue. “방탄소년단” falling from his lips. Suddenly reality hit you. You realized whom it was you were talking with and now your stomach was in your ass. 
“-but most people know us by just BTS.” 
Keep your cool Y/N. Don’t give in just yet 
Trying to keep your facade up, you kept with the idea that you did not know who he was. You wanted not only to have a shot at getting laid, but also you wanted to let him feel like he could have a normal experience with someone and not be mauled by useless questions and fanatics. 
“Oh! Yeah! I think I’ve heard a few of your guys’ songs before.”
“Did you like them?”
You laughed trying to expel some of your anxieties 
“Yeah, actually! I’m not a big pop music person but you guys have a lot of range so there’s so much variety to your music. It’s cool” 
He nodded his head, looking like he was searching for another topic of discussion. Or perhaps he was just figuring you out. You grabbed your drink and sucked back more than half of it through the two straws in a less than poor attempt to rid yourself of your nerves. Looking back up at Taehyung you went to open your mouth to speak but he beat you to it.
He cocked his eyebrow, fully indulging in making you squirm in front of him. As you scrambled to find words to a response, he laughed and cut you off again.
“Don’t hurt yourself thinking darling, I’m just playing with you. Wanna dance?”
You couldn’t believe this. You were actually about to dance with an idol, and not just any idol it was Taehyung. You felt like you were in a sick dream and at any moment this was going to be ripped from you with your eyes tearing open from sleep. Unconsciously, you nodded your head to him and he placed his hand out for you to grab. When your palm met his, you finally actualized your situation. This was real and it was happening to you. 
With the alcohol in your system begging to brew and settle in between your legs creating warmth and you were beginning to find newfound confidence. You swayed your hips with a little more fluidity as he guided you through the crowds of people. Finally reaching the main area of the floor, you felt sensuality seep into your being. You looked up at him with a hopeful innocent look, but anybody could see the desire swimming in your pupils.
A song you knew came through the speakers, and you laid your back against his chest moving your hips to the bass of the song. Feeling yourself loosen up, you wanted to almost present yourself to him, give him a reason to want to take you back to his room. 
You swayed your body against him, your plump ass grinding against his lower half more than a few times. His hands were large, larger than you could ever imagine and they enveloped you like velvet ropes. They were rough yet gentle in nature and knew exactly where to touch you while you two were in each other’s embrace.
You felt butterflies and warmth flourish in your stomach and lower half. You spun around with this grandiose confidence and you rolled your body against his following the flow of the music. You wrapped your arms around his neck and a smirk grew on his face.
“Who’s this minx I’m with now? What happened to the timid little lady over at the bar?”
You smiled and lightly tangled your hands in his curls at the bottom of his head fire
“Guess I finally got out of my head.” 
To the beat of the music, you snaked your way down his body and looked up at him, your eyes filled with concupiscent intent. As you made your way back up, you turned your body back around to place your backside against his front. He placed his large hand on your hip and pushed your body into his, leaving no room for apprehension. 
“You’re quite the dancer Y/N. Wonder if the way you move translates somewhere else.”
He trailed off, pulling back away from you only to spin you back to face him so he could gauge your expression. You bit your lip in anticipation and smiled at him.
“What are you getting at Taehyung?”
The way your voice dripped off your tongue sent a chill up his spine and blood in between his legs. He felt himself twitch behind his pants and he wrapped his arms around your waist again now pressing you against him so that you could feel the effect of yourself on him.
“I think you know exactly what I’m getting at sweetheart. Wanna get out of here?”
You smiled.
“I would want nothing more.”
The crowd of people shielded your hand grazing over the front of his pants to punctuate your desire for him.
“But first I need to go back to my table and grab my bag.”
Taehyung stepped back and guided his hand in front of him
“Lead the way.”
Walking back toward the back of the venue you eventually made it through the endless maze of people and back to the table where all your girls resided. As you finally came into view, Michelle was the first one to notice you and then her eye flew from her skull noticing the man trailing behind. You made a face that silently said “Please don’t freak out”. To which she just knocked back her drink to find her composure. 
As you walked up to the table you grabbed your bag and told them your plan for the night. 
“I know it’s kinda early but I met this man and were gonna walk the strip for a bit. He wants me to show him around.”
Taehyung smiled behind you lightly, partly due to your bold face lie and partly due to the reactions around the table. Cal spoke up second looking at you with judging eyes. 
“You crazy bitch. A’ight have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
You laughed 
“That’s practically everything, Cal.”
She pointed behind you with her drink,
“As for you, I’ll find out everything in the blink of an eye. So, don’t do anything stupid.”
Taehyung threw his hand up in defeat
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
You finally picked up your bag and gave everyone a hug, itching to get out of there. When you reached Taylor, she hugged you a little tighter than usual and spoke directly into your ear so that only you could hear.
“You’re crazy you know that?”
“It’s literally what we came out here for I can’t pass it up.”
“I’m not gonna stop you, but please be careful. And if anything you know I’ll be there faster than a minute. Send me your location when you get to wherever you’re going.”
You pulled away from her and you both shared a tender moment silently letting each other know your thoughts.
“I’ll let you know everything as soon as I can.”
“Good. Okay, enough sap, go fuck your heart out and tell us everything in the morning.”
You finally walked away your hand laced in Taehyung’s so that maneuvering through the club would be easier. You went out an opposite way than you came in and you assumed that it was for private valet purposes. Once you reached the outside, a cool breeze passed through the air, sending you to press into Taehyung’s side.
“Someone’s eager.”
“It was the wind you ass, don’t get ahead of yourself.”
He hummed in response as a blacked out SUV, pulled into the driveway of the valet. Taehyung looked at and nudged his head toward the car.
“C’mon princess, let’s get in.”
He opened the door for you something that surprised you for some reason. As you slid into the back seat, Taehyung scooted in next to you getting almost unbearably close. You could finally smell him without the overbearing scents of everything around you and it was intoxicating. He flushed out a scent of light musk and something reminiscent of freshly burnt tobacco. You wanted to bottle it and save it till the end of time. As he shut the door the driver looked behind through the lowered partition. 
“Back to the mansions, sir?”
“Yes. And would you mind rolling up the partition?”
The driver nodded his head and began his route to “mansions”. You could feel Taehyung’s eyes boring into the side of you and slowly turned your head to look at him. Your eyes glazed over. He patted his lap and looked back up into your eyes.
“Come a little closer, I don’t bite. Hard, at least.”
You tossed your purse to the other side of the car and straddled his lap.
He dragged his hands up and down your torso before bringing his hand up to your cheek. 
“You are so breathtakingly beautiful. I can’t wait to ruin you.”
A pulse involuntarily ripped through your core and Taehyung wanted nothing more than to let you know that he felt it completely.
“Oh, so you want the same thing, huh?”
His hand spidered around to the nape of your neck and grabbed a handful of your hair, controlling your movements. 
“You’re a filthy little one, aren’t you?”
You trailed your hands down the front of his torso and slowly calculated your eyes back up to his. Your hands were beginning to tangle in his hair again before you spoke.
“Why don't you find out, daddy?”
It was as if every inhibition that he had was torn away by the sheer desire he felt for you. He halted his movements for a moment, hovering his lips over yours. You weren’t gonna fold so you played with him in return. Reaching forward as if you were going to make the final move and then backing away slightly making him chase you. He reinforced his grip in your hair and finally pressed his lips on top of yours. 
The kiss was rapacious. Filled with a mutual need that could only be satiated in one way. You kissed him back with full voracity, grinding yourself into his lap. His hands moved from your hair, down to your thighs and grabbed as much as he could, molding your skin to his liking. With a roll of your hips, you felt him growing beneath you and you let a small moan slip. 
You felt him smirk and in an attempt to regain a bit of control you bit his bottom lip pulling away at it. A groan left him and he pulled away from you. Even in the darkness of the car, you could sense the blown out look on his face. 
“You said you didn’t bite, I never said anythin-“
He cut you off pulling you in closer and settling his mouth at the crossroads where your neck and shoulders met. He placed open mouth kisses before lightly biting down, waiting to see your reaction. With the airy moan that left you, he continued his assault. You grabbed his face and guided it to look back at yours to kiss his lips again. You felt your head become clouded with lust as the car began slowing down. 
“Sir, we have arrived. Anything else you need before I let you two out?” 
“No, thank you.” 
With that, Taehyung moved you off of him to open the door. You grabbed your purse and slid to the side of the open door where Taehyung was waiting with his hand held out for you. 
“Thank you.” 
Looking up, you realized you were outside of the Mansions at MGM. You only ever really heard about this property considering you never had the means to be in such a high end area in the first place. In your stupor, you failed to hear Taehyung calling your name. The cadence of his voice was something nuanced in the distance. You finally came to and the look in Taehyung’s eyes was enough to make anyone feel everything nerves had to offer. You cowered your neck in a bit of embarrassment as he led you to the entrance of the building.
“I see the woman from the bar decided to join us on our trip.”
“Sorry I just didn’t expect to pull up here ya know?”
“What were you expecting sweetheart?”
“A hotel and not the mansions” 
You chuckled out literally trying to expel yourself of any nerves. For some reason, this seemed to work because the moment you stepped inside the need you felt from earlier made its reappearance. Feeling a bit more comfortable in the reclusive nature of the building. You walked a little closer to him, leaning your body into his while you two waited for the elevator to open. Taking a quick look at your surroundings, you realized that no one was in your general vicinity so you snaked your hand down the front of his body and brought your head to his shoulder to look at him in the eye. 
“I wouldn’t get too ahead of yourself.”
Taehyung had a warning look in his eyes telling you to stop while you continued your ministrations subtly. When the elevator door opened you pulled yourself away from him and followed him in. You decided to open your group chat and send your location so they would feel a little bit safer knowing where you were. When you did you put your phone back into your purse but immediately felt a rush of vibrations wave through the fabric. Y
ou smiled to yourself, and just before you had the chance to look over at Taehyung, the bell dinged to the floor he was on and the doors opened. He grabbed your hand and brought you out quickly to walk down the hall to his room. Upon reaching the door, you barely had the chance to see him open it before you were spun around and pushed against the inside of the door. 
“Think you can do whatever you want just cause I brought you here with me?”
“Considering you’ve done nothing to make me think otherwise, yeah I do.”
You chuckled but it was soon overshadowed by Taehyung’s scoff as he shook his head. 
“You’re a brat.”
“Glad you figured that out. Now, what are you gonna do about it.”
The ball was in his court and it seemed like he didn’t know how to do anything but hold it. His energy seemed to shy for a blip in time before a dominating aura encased him. Taehyung brought his hand next to your head that was resting against the door and brought his body inches away from your own. You felt your gall dwindle at this moment feeling like prey in his presence. He brought his face to yours and spoke again. 
“Tell me what you want and maybe I’ll indulge.”
You looked up facing him in his eyes and smiled one last time before he took over the reins for the night completely.
“I don’t beg…daddy.”
His response was one more than unexpected but it excited you entirely.
“You will.”
There was a different kind of hunger to this kiss than the one that was shared in the car. It’s like he was trying to prove something to you with this one. You let your purse drop from your arm, landing on the floor by your feet and you brought your hands up to his body. His hands began roaming your curves and you rolled your body into his. Reaching the curve of your ass, he squeezed at the flesh again and you brought your leg up, riding against the side of his own.
Swallowing any doubt about yourself you listened to his command. You jumped and wrapped your legs around him. He carried you both to the bed and he laid you down, the motion somewhat gentler than all his previous actions. You attempted you keep the kiss in motion, but he pulled away leaving you chasing after him. Smirking at you he got a premiere showing of your want for him and he relished in that before you had the chance to take it away from him.
He brought his lips back to yours and when he did you tried to fight your place for dominance for a spare moment. You swiped your tongue along his lip, asking permission before embarking on your ministration with his mouth. Your tongue slipped into his mouth with permission granted from his end. Your tongues campaigned for preeminence over each other and Taehyung smiled into the kiss sensing your objective.
He tried to pull away again but you seized his lips in between your teeth, halting his movements. Taehyung complied with your actions leaning back into the kiss. His hands roamed your body once again, finding purchase on your breast, where he pinched your nipple making you gasp. 
With his lips freed from your reign, he began leaving opened mouth kisses on your neck and trailing down to the valley of your breasts. Unzipping the leather top, he was met with the pleasant surprise that you were free of a bra underneath your top. 
“Expecting something to happen Y/N?”
“Not necessarily but I’m glad that it is.”
Slipping the top off, he threw it across the room. He continued his trail down to the hem of your pants, undoing them and peeling the fabric away from your skin. Reaching your ankles he removed you of your shoes as well. Feeling overly vulnerable due to your lack of clothes, you waited for him to hover back above you before whining and pulling at his shirt. 
“You’re wearing too much.”
“Then take it off sweetheart.”
Pulling apart at the buttons you undid his shirt and as he slipped out of the sleeves you admired his naked upper half. Going silent you seemed to forget that this was real life and not a movie that you could just pause and stare at. His voice pulled you from your thoughts.
“Y/N, take a picture instead. You can stare as long as you want.”
You rolled your eyes up at him, internally embarrassed by his comment realizing that you had just been caught red handed. Sticking your embarrassment somewhere else within you, you found the confidence to flip the two of you over, leaving you on top. With you in this new position, you felt vulnerable and powerful all in the same breath.
Leaning down you brought yourself to the belt on his pants, undoing it and his pants. You looked up at him and removed him from his bottom half of clothing, shoes included. Letting the array of fabrics pool on the floor you brought your hand up to massage over the bulge residing in his underwear. 
A small hiss left his mouth, letting a small smile form on your face. Gently placing your fingertips at the hem of his underwear, you began slowly pulling down the fabric much to Taehyung’s muller. Rubbing over his clothed cock one more time you wanted to see if you could get a moan out of him and you did. Built up need and anticipation were vocalized and that’s all you needed to relieve him of his cottoned prison. 
Watching his dick spring out of his underwear and against his stomach had your mouth salivating immediately. Whipping your hair to one side, you brought your mouth down to his tip. Placing small licks underneath the tip, you waited for him to say something, and it never came.
Feeling that you had control over the situation, you continued to do what knew best. Flattening your tongue against his hard cock, you dragged it from base to tip, dragging out a long moan from his lips. Teasingly, you sucked on his tip before dangling over his tip gathering spit in your mouth to dribble down his cock. 
Hollowing out your cheeks, you fit as much of him as you could. When you reached his base, his hairs tickling at the tip of your nose, he groaned out. Finally relishing in the pleasure he’d been seeking. But it wasn’t enough.
He wanted more of you. He needed it. Out of your sight, his hand combed through your hair causing you to look up at him through your lashes, something that had him rolling his head back with an esoteric chuckle. 
“Y/N, god damn.”
His hand that was once allowing him to look at your face, was now traveling to the back of your head and he gave a test push, seeing what your reaction would be. You smiled to yourself and brought your head up. He went to open up his mouth, but before he could you beat him to it. 
“Use me, Taehyung.”
His eyes blew wide and so did his pupils, lust becoming their new color. With newly granted permission, Taehyung began fucking your mouth. His cock was hitting the back of your throat and you were swallowing your gags as best you could for his moans were sending pulses straight to your pussy. With each thrust, you could feel yourself getting wetter. 
“Y/N, fuck. I’m cumming.” 
You hummed against him adding to the stimulation he was already feeling. Then with the swiftness of wind, his tone changed and his grip on your hair became just a bit tighter than before. 
“Swallow it.”
And who were you to deny? With a few more pumps of your head, you felt his load be released into your mouth. Warm and with a bite, you savored the taste. When you felt the shots decrease to nothing but twitches of his muscle, you pulled yourself off of him and swallowed all he had to offer.
Moving any hair from your face, you looked at him and showcased your tongue of what it had nothing to show. Wiping leftover saliva from the corner of your mouth Taehyung lurched forward flipping you onto your back. 
What surprised you was the growl that erupted from his throat. With an intense ferocity, his lips were back on yours again. But you needed more than just his mouth. There was a violent ache between your legs and you needed to be satiated by anything other than a kiss. His cock was in view and surprisingly fully erect again. You arched your back away from the bed, weaving your fingers through his loose waves. Whining you let out a small 
Pulling away he smirked
“Sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you.”
“Please. Please Taehyung. I need you.”
Smiling he brought his hands to the lace trimming of your panties, pulling them down your legs and tossing them on the floor. 
“What happened to ‘I don’t beg’”
Rubbing your face into the pillow, you looked up at him
“Fuck that, I need you. I need you so bad.”
He was savoring this side of you. So much so that he decided to see how much further he could push you. Rubbing his cock against your folds, he placed himself right before he could fully enter you. 
“How much Y/N? I don’t think I know how much you actually need it.”
“Taeyhung, please! I need you inside me. I need to feel you ruin me. Please, just fuck me already!”
Before your vocal cords had the chance to let the words reverbate against your chest, he sunk himself inside your walls all the way to the base. You both moaned out at the long, anticipated feeling. He filled you up so well. You couldn’t tell whether it was just your hormones making this feel more intense than what it was but you swore you could feel the vein on his cock drag against your walls each time he thrust in and out of you. 
“Tae, fuck. Holy fuck you feel so good.”
He hovered over you, his face hanging inches above your own. His nose dusting yours. 
“Yeah? Feels good baby, huh?”
Your hands found purchase on his toned back and dragged down his skin, earning a graon from him.
“Yes, fuck. You feel so good, Tae!”
“Shit keep calling me that.”
His pace increased and there was an unspoken need between the two of you that needed to be released. Your walls kept clenching around him, a warmth beginning to spread in your lower half. But Taehyung was not going to let you feel your release without a chance to mock your need. 
“Aww, is my baby close, hmm?”
“Yes, yes Tae, right there. I’m close, I’m so close!”
Bringing his hand down to your clit, he began rubbing you in small circles bringing you to your climax closer than you thought. When you released, it was full body. Your pussy was clamping around him and your stomach was spasming in on itself. Truly losing control in your pleasure. Before you had a chance to come down from your high, you felt yourself being flipped on your hands and knees. 
“You said you wanted to be used.”
Taehying came down to your ear to deliver the last bit. 
“And I’m gonna use you.”
Taking his length, he entered you again and began an unrelenting pace. His cock was reaching places it hadn’t previously. Kissing your cervix and grinding against that special little spongy spot inside of you. You screamed out at the pleasure. Your back arching as far as it could giving him more access to you. Taehyung grabbed your hips and moved his hands eloquently to hold onto the fat of your ass, moving it in tandem with his thrusts. 
You couldn’t see it, but there was a darker look that overtook Taehyungs features while staring at the ripple of your ass against him. Gathering spit in his mouth, he let the glob of saliva hit your puckered hole.
The surprise sensation caused your eyes to open and you turned your head around to face him. You felt his hand move toward the middle of your ass and before you could voice your query, his thumb pushed inside of your tightest of holes.
Your eyes rolled back, the extra sensation sending you somewhere beyond oblivion
“Fuckin shit, Tae!”
You lost all decorum. Your breath was fast and loud and your moans even louder. Taehyung’s moans grew in frequency, sending down your spiral of pleasure even faster than before. 
“Y/N, fuck. I’m gonna cum. Where do you want me?”
“Shit are you sure?”
“Tae, please, cum inside me.”
With both of your holes being stimulated, you couldn’t help how desperate you sounded. You felt your rapture on the horizon and you weren’t finding any reason to stop it. 
“Fucking slut. You’re filthy, so fucking filthy.”
You knew his words were in vain, his breath overtaking most of his tone as his peak rushed upon him. His thrusts faltered into something less punctuated and you felt his warmth coat your body once again. Feeling him release inside of you sent your you climax over its precipice. Squeezing around him so tightly, he groaned as he finished inside of you.
Slowing himself down, you began to feel him soften and he pulled out of you completely. Laying down on the bed next to you, you let your body fall limp. Trying to catch your breath you looked at him weakly, body still overcome by dissipating lust. 
“Where’s um, where's the bathroom in here?”
He pointed.
“There’s one by the main door and then there’s one over there.”
Nodding, you brought yourself up and walked towards the one by the main door. You grabbed your purse off the floor and walked in. You glanced over your appearance and were surprised by the woman you saw looking back at you. You smiled lightly, the after sex glow overshadowing the mess of your makeup. 
Cleaning yourself up, you grabbed your phone from your purse and walked back out into the bedroom getting ready to grab your clothes and leave for the night, not wanting to overstay your welcome. Taehyung was stretched out on the bed, clearly having already cleaned himself up, and was watching your every move. You didn’t notice yet, because your shyness had returned just as easily as it left. The timbre of his voice snapped your head up out of its thoughts. 
“There’s a shirt there you can use for the night. I don’t really have much else that would fit as pajamas I think.”
You furrowed your brow
“For the night?”
“Yes? I’m not gonna have you walk around at night here trying to find your friends again. Although I’m sure you could do it, it wouldn’t sit right with me.”
“So you want me to stay here?”
“Thought that was more than obvious, darling.”
“Oh, okay…”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“No, that’s not it, I just don’t want to impose.”
“Y/N, it’s not imposing if I’m offering.”
You nodded silently in agreement, smiling lightly. You slipped into his shirt and it hit just past your mid thigh. Grateful that it covered more than you thought it would. A gentle pat caught your attention and Taehyung was looking at you while patting the space next to him. Climbing back in the bed, you got comfortable, but not too close not wanting to invade his space.
“After all that just happened, now you’re even shyer?”
“I just don’t wanna be weird!”
He laughed. Your personality checking all of his boxes. 
“You’re funny.”
“Glad you think so.”
He grabbed your body and scooted you closer to him so that you had no choice but to be laid on top of him.
“You know, if you don’t have any plans tomorrow. I’d quite enjoy you showing me around here. Maybe some of your favorite spots…”
He trailed off, passing the ball into your court. 
“Sure, I’d love to.”
He smiled to himself and reached over the bedside table to grab the remote and turn on the TV. You grabbed your phone and texted your group chat one last time for the night.
Y/N: Y’all are not gonna believe what I have to tell you…
Clicking your phone off you placed it beside you and rested your head on Taehyung’s lap, slowly feeling yourself drift off to sleep.
173 notes · View notes
taegularities · 9 hours ago
swan’s song | kth (m)
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a thousand thank yous to @missgeniality​​ for this absolutely stunning banner <3
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Summary: If Taehyung’s life is a musical, then you’re its best song. It’s truly unfortunate... how every good song must always comes to an end – but you never do. You play on and on to the beat of his heart.
⋙ pairing: Taehyung x reader ⋙ rating: 18+ ⋙ genre: established relationship; tiny bits of angst, lots of fluff, smut ⋙ warnings: dilf!tae yes, recurring theme of music and songs, slight fear of thunderstorms, so many cheesy lines it’s disgustaaang, post-partum depression (just for a tiny tiny bit), birth of a child (no explicit description, just fluffy feelings), explicit sexual content: baby-making sex, soft dom tae, impregnation kink, oral (f. & m.), fingering, body worship, she has stretch marks and he loves it, praising, dirty talk, kissing, breast play, unprotected (baby-making !!!!!!!) sex, multiple f. orgasms, they’re cracked and dumbasses i love them so much ⋙ word count: 21.6k ⋙ a/n: heeey! this is a love letter that i wrote around two months ago, to my very favourite couple. happy 1 yr anniversary to songs about you 🤍 thank you to @hobisuniverse​​ and @missgeniality​​ for loving this couple since forever and for helping me so so much with this fic 🥺 shoutout to my love bells, who wrote the proposal and candy’s toast and let me use it <3 taewan live on 🥺 hope y’all enjoy !! feedback is as always appreciated <3 ⋙ reading the first two parts adds to the backstory, but is not necessary. THIS FIC CAN BE READ AS A STAND-ALONE!
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When you told Taehyung to take care of the decorations, this is not what you meant.
The balloons are scattered on the ground, every possible colour building a rainbow, because he didn’t want a specific one assigned to your baby. You already know it’s a girl; you’ve even brainstormed names for her in advance – but Taehyung remains steadfast in his decision to not raise her in the traditional princess-and-unicorns way.
“Hey, if she decides she’s into racing cars instead of dolls, fine by me,” he always says, never failing to add a quiet, “dolls are scary anyway.”
But the chaos at your feet?
You wish you could scold him for it – tell him that he was supposed to glue the decorations to the wall. But he’s so excited and thrilled that you can’t muster the strength to do so, shifting your frustration elsewhere instead as you whine, “I still need to clean the kitchen. And then put snacks on the table and… wait, did you call Namjoon, ‘cause he needs to bring–”
“Swan,” Taehyung calls, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his body, “it’s all fine. Everything’s clean and in order, and yes, Joon is bringing the cake.”
You take a breather.
He knows his nickname for you is a weakness – it has long become a common utterance between you, accompanying you since high school when you got utterly obsessed with Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake. And Taehyung won’t let you forget your love for the piece to this day.
Cuddling into his embrace, you ask, “How are you so calm?”
“I just… don’t care much for perfection?” He pauses, adoration written in his eyes. “Perfect cakes, perfect presents… You’re healthy, and anything beyond that just doesn’t stress me out all that much.”
He says it so nonchalantly. Like it’s no big deal. But to you, his care and love are anything but ordinary, the biggest deal ever. In every waking moment that you struggled with your pregnancy, Taehyung was by your side, ready to abandon meetings and his work for an hour or two to guide you through your fatigue and stress.
You reckon you might’ve lost your sanity long ago if it wasn’t for him.
“It’s gonna be fine,” he assures, squeezing your shoulder once before he lets go and bends down to pick up the balloons.
It’s a pity that the winter is raging outside – if it wasn’t, you would’ve planned a little garden party, worn flower crowns, light blue dresses and provided ice cream and milkshakes. But ever since you moved into Taehyung’s apartment, you’ve estimated that several horses can line up in the ample space present here. So you guess that does the trick, too.
Maybe you can coordinate it better with your next child.
Because the truth is, no matter how much happiness your togetherness and shared DNA brings to you, you didn’t plan any of this. Taehyung was a beloved friend with benefits, and your love story was close to burning out. Failure in communication led to almost full radio silence before he captured your heart all over again.
And telling him about the pregnancy was the last main sign that proved just how much you belonged to him; and he to you.
You’ve heard harsh critique about your state; a child born out of wedlock is what they always call your baby. They view you as young and naive, incapable of handling things on your own after popping out of college as a fresh graduate.
But you don’t care too much, and neither does Taehyung.
Because for him, all that has ever mattered was your wellbeing; anything beyond loving you and caring for you was waved off with a careless smirk. And despite the fact that you’re the big CEO’s little girlfriend, you’ve learned to focus on positivity, too.
“What’s with the guitar cookies, by the way?” you question as he works on the balloons, planting your hands on the table you prepared. “I saw them on the kitchen counter earlier.”
“Just manifesting that she loves Linkin Park as much as I do,” he answers, groaning as he reaches up the wall.
“You think making her listen to Leave Out All The Rest every night isn’t enough?”
“You barely ever let me.”
“Well she’s too young for rock music.”
“No one’s ever–”
Your amused banter stops when the doorbell rings, and you flinch for a moment, a hand on your chest before you walk over and peek through the spy. Candy, your and Taehyung’s mutual best friend, as well as her boyfriend Hoseok build the first cheerful pair to enter your place – and from here onwards, guests begin flooding the space in an interval of mere minutes.
The affair passes stressfully but smoothly, and you spend most of your time on your feet except when your daughter starts kicking again. With the cake already cut and dinner served, you escape to the bedroom quietly, sitting down with a groan before you prop up your legs and swollen feet slowly.
The laughter and conversations soon fade into the background, and you allow yourself to close your eyes for just a moment before the door creaks open and someone slips in.
“Ah. Found you,” is what the voice remarks, strolling in cheerfully before she sits down next to you, “you okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired.”
Candy sighs before she places a hand where your own rests on your stomach, rubbing it gently and with a tender, soft smile before she asks, “Is it hard? To know you’re responsible for a little life like that.”
You think for a while.
There have been times when you spent your afternoons crying, missing your flute lessons and performances – even standing would leave you breathless. You’ve caught yourself drifting and counting down the days one too many times.
But when the little existence inside you kicks… or conjures the same old boxy grin onto Taehyung’s face… when she reminds you that she’s there, waiting to meet you, impatient and tiny, you realise that those might be the days you’ll miss when they’re over.
“No,” you finally answer, lifting your chin, proud and happy, “it’s not. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced.”
“Tete takes good care of you, right? ‘Cause if not, I’ll–”
“He does. He does… he spends hours talking to us.”
You watch her expressions change, surprised at the combination of glee and melancholy that spreads across her features; and when her lips begin to drop, you ask, “What about you? Are you planning something with Hobi already?”
Candy snaps out of her brief trance, immediately shifting into her usual self again as she shakes her head and clarifies, “No. No, not at all. Not yet at least. But maybe one day? Seeing you like this makes me want it, too. Makes me wonder if he ever wishes for the same thing.”
“If I know one thing about you two,” you start, shrugging your shoulders, “is that you’ll screw your brains out until your house is filled with tiny yous. No doubt that he wants it, too.”
She rolls her eyes, but her laughter doesn’t stop, and she pushes your angled legs sideways before she remarks, “Says you. Tae and you would get at it whenever you got the chance. Remember when I asked–”
“When you asked if we did anything else, too? Yeah, we did.”
From the corner of your eyes, you spot the speaking silhouette entering the room, relaxed and idle steps carrying it forwards before his features sharpen.
With a smirk, you stare at the approaching man of your dreams, completing his thought as you sing-song, “He liked hearing me sing.” Taehyung comes to a halt next to Candy, his eyes falling onto where her and your hand connect on your tummy. “We also went on fancy McDonald’s dates and went vinyl-gazing.”
“Other people watch stars, you know?” Candy says as she rises, bumping Taehyung’s shoulder lightly. “Join me outside.”
You nod and sit up as Taehyung offers his hand, questioning, “How are we doing?”
“Doing well. Namjoon and Princess are still not talking, and Jungkook managed to rope me into a conversation about his games, but… otherwise, managing. Missing you.”
You get to your feet carefully, held by his hands, giggling as you tease, “You miss me all the time.”
“So?” His fingers travel to your face, holding it in their grip tightly before he begins to squeeze your cheeks, cooing at you, “What’s wrong about missing your pretty, bratty face?”
“Ye’re lucky thet–” You push his hands off your face, rubbing the spot he pulled at so mercilessly. “Ouch, you ass. You’re lucky that you’re cute or I wouldn’t wanna make any more babies with you.”
Taehyung gasps, following your steps with an open mouth as he wonders, “You want more babies with me?”
“Shut up.”
The moment you step out, you halt, taking in the chaos of every guest scattered god knows where. The first pair you notice consists of Hoseok and Candy, having abandoned all your expensive furniture to sit on the ground next to the fireplace, backs leaned against the walls and discussing something heatedly.
“Hey!” she exclaims once she detects you inching closer, fingers lifting from her discarded heels and towards Hoseok. “We were just discussing you two.”
“What were you discussing?” Taehyung asks, one eyebrow raised and arms folded.
“Oh, I don’t know. The pregnancy. The baby shower. The musically inspired decoration and how you’re disgustingly perfect for each other.”
“Nothing new then.”
“He just killed every feeling in my cheeks, though,” you remark, rolling your eyes at your boyfriend, “we’re not as cute as you might think.”
“Do you need me to attack?” Candy asks, her voice growing higher with each syllable before she comes to a stand. “I’ll attack, if you want me to.”
“You two bash me any chance you get. Help me out.”
He says the last part to Hoseok – but the older man only shakes his head cluelessly, raising his hand as if to shield himself from his woman’s wrath. It makes you laugh, the gentle domesticity. The adult life you’ve always seen in romcoms, the perfect bubble that you didn’t think existed in real life.
“No, she’s right,” you add, fuelling the fire as you hold a cheek towards his face, “apologise.”
But instead of kissing your cheek, he rolls his eyes once again, sighing in defeat before he tells his still crouching friend on the ground, “Tell your girl it’s not cool to gang up on me. Or to snatch my girl.”
You and Candy stand in the corner with your arms draped around each other’s shoulders, laughing and enjoying the scene unfolding before Hoseok shrugs – probably not quite aware what he’s muttering when he says, “What the wife wants, the wife gets.”
The comical silence that follows lets your jaw fall, awkwardness befalling the circle in which you stand – and you think that somewhere in the distance, you can hear birds chirp and a plane take off.
A soft blush dusts Hoseok’s cheeks, and you laugh when Candy digs her nails into your bicep and Taehyung jokes, “Damn. Not even we are married yet.”
When the celebratory mood calms and guests leave one by one, your eyes start drooping until you’re swaying at your spot. You don’t know whether it’s the exhaustion that socialising brings or the existence inside you draining you of energy – but once the door closes and the apartment empties, you let Taehyung know that you’re hurrying to bed.
Taehyung, yawning into the back of his hand, steps to your form. Brushing his fingers against your waist, he presses a gentle kiss onto your forehead, sighing in equal tiredness as he says, “I’ll load the dishwasher and clean up a bit. Go rest some, yeah?”
With a slow nod, you disappear into the bathroom, washing up before climbing into bed. But despite the relaxation that the soft mattress brings, your mind doesn’t slip into a peaceful sleep. Instead, you lie awake, replaying some of today’s conversations in the silence of the room.
You wonder how long it will take Namjoon and Princess to repair the damage their past brought. You wonder if you’ve ever seen Candy as happy as she is now. As their faces flash into your mind again, you question when all of you grew up like that; when your childhood faded and gave way to the new beginnings you're still trying to get used to.
When Taehyung enters the room, your place lying clean and still, he’s not surprised when he finds you still awake. Just like you always are when he comes home from work late.
You’re swimming in a sleepy state akin to a drunken haze, the air filling with comfort and relief when you feel his hands on your tummy late at night. He inhales the scent of your shampoo, fingertips drawing forms on your growing stomach; and when you hum in content, you hear him whisper, “Swan?”
A little pause.
“You should sleep instead of waiting for me, baby.”
“I couldn’t.”
“Yeah?” he voices, kissing his way from your shoulder to your cheek. “Couldn’t sleep without me?”
It’s not the first time you hum and waste your night away, exhausted beyond imagination, but never reaching the ultimate state of calmness until you’re wrapped in his arms. It’s a habit you shouldn’t grow used to – not now that the due date sneaks closer.
You need rest and energy at all times; but Taehyung can’t deny that your need for his presence lights his heart up like a Christmas tree.
“I’m…” you begin, turning to lay on your back before you look into his sparkling eyes, “really nervous.”
“Well, it’s just. I’ve never bore a child before.”
You state the painfully obvious. But Taehyung is not here to ridicule your fears. He's here to make you feel less alone.
“Hmmm.” He hums, his lips still kissing your tender skin and the fabric of your shirt. “I’m nervous, too.”
With the literal extra weight you carry, you almost forgot that Taehyung is part of this whole process, too – you reckon with the added stress at work and him doing errands all around, you didn’t quite realise that his thoughts were circling around labour, too.
He always remains calm around you. Excited, yes, but never in visible fear; or like he’s not sane enough to guide you through hardships.
Or maybe, he’s just holding himself together for you whenever you can’t.
“I’m kinda scared I might miss it,” he elaborates, biting the inside of his cheeks, “I sometimes dream of you in labour and I just, I don’t know. Don’t want you to be in this much pain.”
You smile into the darkness. His hopes are endearing; albeit unrealistic, they harbour love and empathy. You trace the veins of his hand that still rubs your clothed tummy tenderly, and with drooping eyes, you say, “There’ll be plenty of this. We can’t really avoid that.”
“Yeah, I just… wish I could take some of it.”
“You already are.”
His fingers halt on your tummy and retract, and he pushes his hands under his head as he looks at you and asks, “Back when… when I came back and you told me about this… did you think I was gonna resent you?”
Back then… not more than four months ago.
When you’d still spend nights in your room alone, the mattress growing cold on the other side; the overload of hormones toyed with your already overthinking mind. And right when you felt your nerves bursting, numbing your brain and your body, he came back to you with red-rimmed eyes and a crushing bang.
He’s told you how he felt in the time apart – how dull and grey his days had become and how his brother Namjoon had put his heart back in place again.
You regret the juvenile naivety now; hate that you didn’t communicate earlier – but with time, you’ve learnt to let the rope of your past let go eventually. It doesn’t do letting your palms bleed like that.
“We had a rough time,” you begin quietly, swallowing the slowly emerging knot of nostalgic sadness, “you had never told me before that you were in love with me, but I always knew you had a soft spot for me of some sorts. And I don’t know… part of me was sure you’d support me.”
You shift closer to his body, turning your head to look at him. The breath escaping between his divided lips warms your skin from only inches away, and you clear his forehead from the stray hair strands before you continue, “But the other part thought I’d have to deal with this alone. We’re young. And you were busy, and I…”
“I was so in fucking love with you,” he cuts in, digits wrapping around your wrist to pull it to where his heart beats. “When you told me, I was over the moon and it just… put things into perspective more.”
“Like what?”
“Like. I got this ultimate proof for wanting to stay with you. And you were crying and overwhelmed, and so scared, and… the voice in my head just screamed that no, I can’t ever leave this woman behind, no matter what the hell happens.”
You listen intently, but you don’t realise the goofy, smitten grin on your face until he shoots you a look almost apologetic. As if he’s sorry for igniting those familiar, seething sparks in your heart.
“We’re so…” you begin, scouring your thoughts for the right word, “sappy today.”
“The situation makes me weak, okay?” Taehyung defends, a jovial laugh breaking the quiet serenity lingering between you. “And thinking back. I missed you. Like crazy.”
“I know.”
His palm comes to a rest behind your ear, tugging you closer until his lips ghost right at the sharp corner of your mouth. He stops the steady knocking of your heart for a brief, silent moment, and when he speaks again, his voice sounds changed; vulnerable, unguarded and so, so frail.
“You’ll be okay, right?”
Giving him a sanguine nod, you gather all hope and optimism in your voice, and tell him, “I’ll be okay. For all of us.”
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Taehyung worships the ground you walk on every waking second of his life.
You turn the often miserable earthly existence into heaven; like your home isn’t your home, but a cloud that refuses to dissolve. Like you’re the compass leading him to an eternally blissful life. A symphony’s rhythm to which his beaming heart beats.
Whenever he isn’t working, he’s floating around you, reading your every wish from your lips before you can utter it; and he’s proud of it. Thinks that he’ll never do less for you than he does now.
Except, when the big, glorious day finally arrives and he gets a call right after a tiring meeting. You rushed to labour, Candy says. As the only available acquaintance, she drove you over, panicked and nervous, watching you squirm and pant on the passenger’s seat without Taehyung by your side.
“But she wasn’t supposed to deliver before next week!” Taehyung exclaims, his voice trembling, a heavy knot growing thicker in his throat.
“Well, the doctor's predictions aren’t always one hundred percent! Just… get your ass over here!”
Candy’s words are decisive but gentle; despite his absence, he’s still a working man. Trying his hardest to provide for you and the little family you’ll soon be, and no one can blame him for living through the current of life.
Which doesn’t stop Taehyung from hyperventilating anyway.
Hurrying to the hospital, a thin sheen of sweat coats his forehead, and he clutches the steering wheel, uttering curses, watching his knuckles pale.
He imagined it’d be him taking you to the hospital, giving you reassurances and hugging your fears away. But how are you now? Taehyung wishes he could tell from his carseat, the beat of his heart rapid and wild as he prays for you to be okay.
As he enters the hallway after two wrong turns, Candy’s already standing in front of the room you must be in; her hands are folded in front of her, her head tilted as she watches the door like she’s guarding you.
Taehyung doesn’t bother to throw any kind greeting at her, feet rushing to her before he places a hand on her shoulder and asks, “Am I too late?”
Candy shakes her head, her eyebrows shooting up as she takes in her friend’s nervous countenance. His forehead is wrinkled, lips turned downwards, his eyes glassy and the tears close to escaping. Has she ever seen him this emotionally weak before?
It’s funny what you’re able to ignite in him.
“You’re not too late.”
At her words, at least an ounce of the weight falls off his shoulder, and he sighs before he adds, “Is my daughter okay? Is Swan okay?!”
With a nod, Candy shakes off his hand from her shoulder, gripping his biceps instead as she tells him gently, “They’re okay. But she’s tired… cried a lot, and she’s stopped, but. The pain comes and goes in waves.”
“Really?” Taehyung questions with agony in his voice.
But Candy rubs his arms soothingly, assuring him, “It’s childbirth, Tae. It’s normal. She’s probably close to delivering, so go in and be with her, yeah?”
She doesn’t need to tell him twice.
With two big steps, he’s opened the door and taken you in. Your eyes are closed and your breathing is steady; some of your hair strands are glued to your forehead, and your hand rests on your stomach so peacefully that you look like you’re sleeping.
But when the doctors ask him questions, making sure that he’s not an intruder but the father of your child, your eyelids snap open. He’s talking to them, but his focus remains on you – furrowed eyebrows, the crease carved between them dripping with worry.
“Hey, handsome,” you greet with a tender smile, your voice drained, your sigh heavy, “didn’t think you’d make it today.”
Taehyung steps to the bed and plummets onto the chair next to you with a smile so fond and tender that you feel your muscles liquify. Even in his fear, he’s the prettiest existence you’ve ever laid eyes on.
Thick eyebrows, moles smiling at you, dark hair parted in the middle and pupils housing an ocean of galaxies. You hope your child carries the same stars in her orbs as he does.
“You’re crazy to think that,” Taehyung remarks. His voice is still a mumble, shaking with the first hints of approaching sobs. “I’m here, baby.”
He didn’t think there was any state left he needed to see you in to melt. If he loved you before, the feelings bubbling in his overwhelmed heart now are too much, truly showing him what being alive and a human being means. You’re more than his vulnerable soul can take – more than he deserves.
Grabbing the hand resting on your stomach, he brings it to his rosy lips, kissing each and every knuckle before he places your palm flat against his cheek. You watch him in silence, grimacing when the pain comes crawling back again slowly.
“How was work?” you ask casually, looking at his calming smile.
“Boring,” he answers, baffled that you can still think about anything else but your pain; about him. “Missed you.”
“Are you gonna act like it’s a surprise?”
“I’m… well, you have a lot of… meetings, right?”
In the silence of the room that only your conversation breaks, third and fourth voices mingle, and Taehyung overhears the doctors talk about how your cervix has already opened, and that the second stage should approach soon-ish.
Both of you have researched tons of things about childbirth. Like, that it takes at least four hours for the cervix to open fully; that the time varies. That a lot of messy and ugly things are involved, followed by the most beautiful, wonderful sensation that is the beginning of a new human life.
According to when Candy texted him first, in the middle of a meeting, more than two hours must have passed.
“Meetings are boring, too, baby,” Taehyung says, shrugging his shoulders lightly, “and my Swan radar was going insane today anyway.”
You laugh at his choice of words, ready to answer with something similarly endearing and teasing before the cramps come crashing back in a sudden wave.
And that’s how the afternoon ends and the evening begins.
The pain stops being bearable and gains intensity, and he sits by your side for what feels like hours. Watching you scream, cry, whisper his name, curse the world. Begging the doctors to finally get that kid out of you, affection turning to anger, anger turning back to affection.
It’s both worrying and hilarious, and Taehyung doesn’t know if he wants to keep grinning at you or burst into tears at your misery. But he’s here. Holding your hand all the time. Whispers sweet promises to you, kisses your forehead and your fingers.
“Tell them to give me something!” you cry at one point, close to the descent of your child; you think you might explode. “A pain killer or whatever, Tae, fucking please.”
The nurse addresses you by your last name, sitting between your spread legs before she pats your ankles and says, “It’s normal, love. And it’s gonna stop soon, you’re almost there.”
It takes another hour and some more curses until things finally start to happen. Candy enters the room with excitement buzzing in her body; enduring the long hours feels easier with them by your side.
You wish your or Taehyung’s parents were here, too. Who would’ve thought that this affair would happen so suddenly, in the middle of the day?
The sun sets all too soon, and you feel exhaustion flood your body. When the process reaches its peak, constant reassurances and ”Push, keep pushing!” are thrown into the room, and your yelling numbs Taehyung’s ears before… it’s over.
A high-pitched cry sounds beautifully, a new voice filling the room as you slump back into the delivery chair and attempt to steady your breathing.
Taehyung doesn’t notice he’s closed his watering eyes until he opens them, and suddenly, the sight combined with the sound of a newborn child dizzies his mind. It’s happening. It’s actually happened.
Even after nine months, the moment doesn’t feel real.
From afar, he watches the nurses clean the tiny girl carefully; words have dissipated into thin air, the ability to form sentences long vanished. He’s silent, speechless – his hand still clutches yours, your breathing still registering in his mind.
But shit.
Does every father feel enchanted in a moment like this?
Is that what he anticipated before, too? No way. This feels new. Indescribable. Like a spell.
And then, the nurse holding your child is done, cooing at the baby in her arms before she locks eyes with you. Your gaze darts between your daughter and Taehyung, and you shoot him a comforting smile as you ask him, “All good, babe?”
It should be him asking you that. But he’s still unable to utter words just yet; seems like he’s alone with the struggle, because from the other side of you, Candy chirps, “She’s talking to you, friend.”
He silences again once you take your baby onto you thankfully, your arms wrapping around her perfectly, pulling her against your chest. Immediate tears trail down your cheeks and onto the hospital gown, and you sway your baby feather-lightly as you whisper, “Look at the way her tongue is sticking out, Tae.”
Your tender voice is dipped in endless love and disbelief, quivering and drowning in your sobs before you look at him and… find him crying just as much.
It’s a fest of tears, you realise, because even on your right side, Candy is muffling her sounds with her palms. She’s sniffling, leaning forward, elbows resting on the chair next to your body. You nudge her limbs with your elbow, nodding as you say, “Hey. What’s up?”
“Just,” Candy says, wiping her tears that don’t stop anyway. “Just happy.”
“Me too.”
Taehyung gulps, shifting closer; almost like a child peeking at something curiously. His eyes are blown wide, glittering, his lips apart and eyebrows raised. And you sniffle once more, gesturing for him to come closer before you voice, “Here.”
“Do you…” he starts, licking his lips as he pulls his flesh and blood into his arms. “Do you remember what we wanted to call her?”
You nod, rubbing your eyes and tilting your head in the way he loves the most. “Of course I do.”
“Do you still want to?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’d love to.”
“Elegant and beautiful. It suits her, right?” he murmurs, exhaling deeply. “Ara.”
His mind is fog shrouded, eyes blinking and focusing on the way the big eyes are looking at him; so, so huge on the miniscule face. Her pupils stare back at him like two moons; innocent and calm, the cries having subsided as she takes in the expression and warmth of her father.
She doesn’t know he’s ready to die for her. Give up everything, hold her just like this, now and forevermore; she doesn’t know just yet, but he feels it with a burning intensity of a thousand suns.
And that’s what she is.
Because as he takes her small hand into his enormous hand, he can’t help but compare her to the star. She reminds him of radiance; pretty lights brightening the world. If he thought he could never love anyone as much as he loves you, he was mistaken.
You’re already drifting; tremendously exhausted. The hand that you placed on his thigh begins slipping slowly, enchanted by the way he looks at her. The way she looks at him. As though her lips-smacking, squinting, wiggling self senses that she’s safe, loved and protected.
But you don’t break until he speaks again, whispering, “She’s so tiny.”
Your heart shatters in the most wonderful way you can imagine; just a few years ago – or heck, even one year ago – you didn’t think you’d ever walk this path with him. You couldn’t say where your fuck buddy affair would lead; some pieces of you were sure you’d break things between him and you and return to normal life. Drift apart.
Only, life without him isn’t normal. Life without him has never been the route to take, never the future you desired.
You love him with the power of every naturesque phenomenon known to humanity. A supernova. A hurricane. A thunderstorm. Lightning, fire, gravity. He pulls you in… never pushes you away.
“She is,” you voice as the hammering of your heart gives way to a gentle beat. “She is, right?”
Then, you start dozing off. The last thing you feel is his kiss on your forehead, words whispered to you that you decipher as, “I love you so much, so, so freaking much, baby.”
And to the song of his voice, the blanket of sleep wraps around your consciousness eventually.
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The musical piece your life was during your pregnancy and days after birth turns into a gloomy symphony akin to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
Things should be good. They’re supposed to be good. And, somewhere, they are.
Euphoria is real; the love you feel for Taehyung and Ara is real – he plays and laughs with her when you’re too busy or exhausted. And the first few weeks pass with you basking in enthusiasm and happiness; there’s no joy greater than yours, you believe.
But then, things begin to shift.
Like you’ve walked through an invisible, paper-thin wall of sadness that has latched onto your back and refuses to let go. You don’t know where it comes from – or rather, you don’t try to make sense of it until Taehyung drives you to your doctor, a regular check up turning into a deep conversation that diagnoses you with something you didn’t even comprehend in the beginning.
Postpartum depression is what she says.
Accompanied by melancholy, exhaustion, fears and guilt. Guilt about not wanting to wake up every night to fulfil your daily duties anymore. About not wanting to hear a crying child anymore. About wishing for just one calm, peaceful day.
And your body hurts. No one told you it would hurt like this.
You don’t miss Taehyung’s worry in small gestures and words; he doesn’t ask you straightforwardly, hoping that things might settle soon. But he cooks for you; cleans for you; buys you whatever you need, takes care of you without you ever asking it from him.
He doesn’t ask – until you stop talking altogether.
On a quiet summer night, you close the door of your bathroom behind you with tired eyes, yawning into your palm before you lay down on your shared bed. Taehyung is scrolling through his phone, looking through social media when you sigh next to him.
Ara has long gone to sleep, and the peace and quiet at your place numbs your mind with an overwhelming calmness. Like your brain is winding down and abandoning one thought after another.
You’re ready to pass out for the night and give in to a possibly dreamless sleep. That might be ideal. But before you can drift off, Taehyung places his phone on his nightstand, shifting on the bed to lie down next to you and wrap his arm around your waist.
You groan when he pulls you closer, and furrow your eyebrows when he kisses your neck, saying, “Need sleep, babe.”
“I’m just cuddling.”
Your lack of response breaks his heart into tiny splinters. He misses when you joked around with him, teasing him, awaiting his return from work just to watch an animated movie and doze off on his shoulder. Nowadays, you barely look at him.
“Swan,” he calls, his hand rubbing your stomach, his hot breath falling against your cheek, “please talk to me.”
When you freeze, he pulls you closer; hides your bodies under the thin white blanket as he waits for an answer. But you merely sigh, shaking your head as you tell him, “There’s nothing to say.”
“Nothing to say to me?”
“Nothing to say at all, really.”
“Baby, I won’t be able to help you if you don’t talk to me,” Taehyung begins, slight impatience changing his conversation tone. You understand his frustration – it’s your own, too. “I know what the doctors told you… I was there. And I’m tryin’ to–”
“You don’t need to. It’s fine.”
A beat of silence.
Then, he asks, “What?”
You’re desperate; you just want to sleep. Nothing in you feels the particular urge to explain to him how hard your mind has been spiralling lately. But deep inside your core, you know that this is not what your relationship consists of – it’s about care, communication and safety. The constant secrecy and fear of revealing your thoughts to him aren’t usually part of your love.
But you’re sick of being a burden.
“If it stresses you too much, it’s fine, Tae. I can take care of myself and–”
“Do you think I’m doing this, because I feel like I have to?”
He interrupts you with irritation lacing his voice. The sudden question catches you off guard, and you press your lips into a thin line, attempting to choose your next words carefully as you argue, “I mean… it’s not like you’d want to be in this situation voluntarily.”
“No, but we are in this situation. Look at me.” His tone grows oddly authoritative, monotone but powerful. His grip around you loosens, and you grow more irate, more frustrated as you flip to your other side and meet his eyes. “We. I’m not here, ‘cause you’re forcing me, but because I want to be your anchor.”
The words he utters contrast the hardness of his voice, but with each syllable, the soft lilt returns bit by bit. Especially when he detects your damp waterline, the tears that are threatening to spill. They hold back fiercely; but then, you blink, and Taehyung follows the wet trail down your cheeks intently as you whisper, “Tae, I…”
“We’re a team, Swan,” he continues, tenderly, “don’t go silent on me.”
Whatever dam you built to keep your thoughts at bay breaks when his hand squeezes your waist, and you inhale a sharp breath as your eyes wander to his hardened jaw. He’s not suffering because of the reason you fear – but because you don’t let him be a part of those fears.
“I just… feel like I’m trapping you. You don’t deserve to feel like shit right after becoming a father. Like,” you admit, shaking your head as he listens carefully, trying to make sense of your feelings and pain, “the mother of your child shouldn’t behave like this, right?”
“Like what? Like she just went through a whole ass pregnancy? Like she pushed a baby out of her armed with nothing but pure perseverance? Hoping to get some rest? That’s just… life, baby.”
“It’s fucked up.”
The last word dies in your throat, introducing a series of uncontrolled sobs that fill the room with sudden, gut-wrenching grief. They turn Taehyung’s body to glass and shatter it with a hammer; but his focus remains on you, rushing to glue you together as his hands move upward, cradling your face as his thumbs begin wiping at your tears.
“Shhh, hey,” he coos, pulling your lips closer to his, pecking them just softly as he continues, “hey, it’s okay. I’m here and we’re okay, yeah? God, baby.”
He presses you flush against his chest, pulling the thin blanket over your bodies before his arms wrap around your trembling torso tightly. His embrace is a place of comfort, a feeling of home – despite the sadness, goosebumps arise on your skin; a sign of affection. A sign of promises that the world won’t suck forever.
“You and Ara are everything to me,” he whispers, ignoring the wet patch that spreads on his tee, “there’s nothing in this damn world that will tear you apart from me. I’m here for you, okay?”
“I’m sorry…”
“No. Tell me, okay or not?”
Your fingers dig into the hem of his shirt, fisting the material until it nearly rips. Nodding against his body, you draw a deep, shaky exhale, sniffling as you confirm, “Okay… okay.”
Taehyung’s hand soothes your back, drawing circles along your spine. With his chin resting on your head, he stares into a dark spot in the darkness before he lets his eyes shut, pressing a barely there kiss against your scalp as he realises – this won’t do.
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When Taehyung asks Namjoon and Princess to babysit Ara for just a day, for just a few hours, please, he doesn’t expect them to give in this fast.
He’s well aware how much the pair adores their niece, but he anticipated a firm no right away, reckoning that they’d be busy spending their Saturday evening somewhere else, doing literally anything else. But the enthusiasm that spreads across their features lights up Taehyung’s heart, endlessly grateful for the readiness with which his brother and his girl crowd Ara’s space.
You’re half worried they might doze off while babysitting your baby – it took a good amount of arguing for Taehyung to finally pull you out of your bedroom and convince you to leave Ara in someone else’s care. Even if just for a day.
“Get the hell outta my house now,” Namjoon jokes, waving his hand into the couple’s direction as he shields Ara in his buff arms.
He hides her from your sight, but you fight his stubbornness until you’re able to steal one last kiss from your daughter. A gentle nickname and goodbye from Taehyung later, you separate from your shared flesh and blood, soon finding yourself at a place exquisite enough to post on social media, but not expensive enough to wear high heels to.
You’re happy about it – dressing up is fun, but pairing ballerina flats with a summer dress is undeniably more comfortable.
As you leaf through the menu, skimming the endless pages of semi-fancy food, you lean in amused, placing your cheeks in your palms as you say, “I miss eating unhealthy stuff at cheap stalls in between classes.”
Taehyung laughs, nearly snorting the coke he’s been drinking from. He raises an eyebrow as he wipes the remnants of the soft drink, questioning, “Greasy street food made you hella tired in classes, though.”
“It was totally worth it, you gotta admit that!”
Taehyung shrugs, clicking his tongue as he leans back. Thinking about a time when you used to accompany him to music shops and listen as he played the piano… was that just a few years ago? The same lifespan he’s living now?
Blinking softly, he regards your smile carefully. There’s no doubt that he hasn’t been reborn just yet – life might have changed, but you’re the same. The kind friend he used to confide in, fierce at times but infinitely soft nevertheless.
Not a soul who basked in your existence dared to speak ill of you – there was no one Taehyung knew who handled life so tenderly, so humbly.
“Wanna go again sometime?” he queries, delighted when an immediate sparkle shimmers in your expanding pupils.
“I’d love to,” you answer, flashing him a toothy grin, “I loved spending that time with you.”
With a roll of his eyes, Taehyung’s foot hits yours under the table gently, fingers drumming against the table as he remembers, “As if. You always asked Namjoon, Hobi or Candy to accompany us. Genuinely, I thought you didn’t like being with me alone.”
“No, I just…” you begin, staring at the still liquid in your glass, “you just intimidated me.”
“I intimidated you?” Taehyung spits, eyes blowing wide. He doesn’t remember ever being anything but gentle with you.
The affection he showered you in, the laughs and jokes and late afternoons spent under bleachers. He’d trade pokémon cards with you when you were still teenagers, mock everyone who didn’t understand your Chopin references.
You can’t count on two hands how often he draped his jacket over your shoulders on rainy nights, can’t recall the number of days he pulled you into his chest; telling you life would get better – that your failures would affect you just temporarily.
He intimidated you?
“After high school, too? We were best friends,” Taehyung argues, pouting in offence as he watches your expressions change.
You didn’t want to worry him – in fact, you were attempting to build up to a joke instead; one that you finally reveal when you avert his gaze and confess, “Yeah, but… sometimes I felt like sucking your dick and it intimidated me.”
Taehyung lets out an unexpected laugh that has a head or two turning to him, but he muffles the sound when he presses the back of his hand against his mouth, asking, “Is that so?” With the sight of you nibbling your lower lip, joy bubbles in his guts; and he knows that he’d adorn every cell of your face with a tender kiss, if the both of you weren’t here right now. “What a glorious way to admit that you’ve always been in love with me.”
“Wish I could say no. You were always too charming for your own good,” you tell him, your voice losing its strength and replacing it with timid emotions instead, “every girl used to stare at you like you were some deity at the stupid campus.”
“I mean…”
“Anyway,” you interrupt, and he chuckles, closing his mouth as he listens with a smile, “guess you didn’t feel all that different. You did fuck me right when I admitted to you that I wanted you like that.”
“Well, yeah,” Taehyung remarks casually, shrugging again, “not gonna deny that I always found you smoking hot.”
“Didn’t think you’d ever fall in love with me, though, huh?”
It’s supposed to be a joke – you’re only half expecting an answer, your eyes travelling to the golden lights on the ceiling of the restaurant. You miss the way he smiles at you, appreciating your attempt at comedy; and you fall silent, your heart stilling for a moment when he says, “I actually did.”
You’re flustered. Even after all this time together, his effect on you refuses to waver.
A large hand sneaks its way to yours, entangling with your fingers before you admit, “Never thought we’d produce someone so beautiful one day. As much as I wanted it… didn’t think it’d be you.”
You’re lucky. You’re so incredibly lucky.
“The best faux-pas ever.”
His free hands lift into the air, and you giggle when you high five his palm. You don’t think you’ve felt this free, rested and relaxed in a long time. It’s refreshing.
“Speaking of…” you begin, tapping the screen of your phone before it lights up, “I should call Princess.”
“I’m worried.”
“Why?” Taehyung asks, squeezing your hand once. “It’s okay to worry, baby, but… you need to trust people, too. I know the distance is fucking scary, but Princess and Joon adore Ara to bits… and she loves them just as much. They’d call if something was up.”
For a moment, you consider blending out his assurances and giving in to your fears and overprotective instincts. And upon reading you like the open book you’ve become to him avidly, he adds, “Does it really stress you that much?”
You want to wave him off and say that it’s okay. You’ll survive. But when you don’t find the strength to lie, you gulp, slowly nodding. And Taehyung, ever the perfect partner, fishes out his phone with a deep sigh, repeating your name thrice with feigned annoyance and a beaming smile.
Your worries might be toying with your mind, but they display your love as a mother so clearly. He can’t help but find you endearing.
With a few taps, his phone rings, and he turns it so you can see the display right before Namjoon picks up. The angle allows a peek at his chin and his jaw, but when he fixes it, he smiles at you, greeting with a cheerful, “You’re not coming back already, right?”
“I– why?”
“Because you’re not allowed to. We’re watching TV.”
You stare back and forth between Taehyung and your almost-brother-in-law, amusement lacing your voice as you ask, “Are you trying to gatekeep my daughter, mister?”
“And if I am?”
He doesn’t say much more before the camera shifts to your baby; her gaze is focused, her little fingers curled into fists. Her lips are parted in concentration, and her big eyes don’t break from the TV until she hears you call her name.
Taehyung leans in, occupying most of the screen and hiding you in the background, and when Ara detects him, she gasps in surprise. Her eyes trail past the screen to where you reckon Namjoon stands, and Princess’s hand holds Ara’s tummy, so she doesn’t topple off the couch.
Because she’s excited. Laughing at her father, hands reaching for the phone.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he chimes, his ears turning red as they always do when he interacts with her, “are we having a good time, hmm?”
And then, she grabs the phone and presses it against her ear, mumbling a faint word that she picked up fairly early for being just close to one year old.
“Hello! What’s up, little one?” Taehyung laughs, and she lets the phone fall in surprise, clearly not expecting the volume with which his voice intrudes her ear.
You’re incredibly thankful that she doesn’t resist other people’s company – you know a dozen babies who won’t even look your way and cling to their parents. Not Ara.
You watch for a moment as she retracts into Princess’s lap in laughter, mimicking your joy before you see Namjoon’s face again and he orders, “Just enjoy yourself. We’re all good here. Watching Sesame Street and drawing some.”
With a few lovely words of goodbyes, the line falls dead, and you take a breather as Taehyung asks, “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
“Anything for you.” He tilts his head, kneading your hand one more time before you indulge in dinner and return to calm conversations. And when the meal is over and your plates empty, he suggests, “Okay. No time to waste – let’s go somewhere, yes?”
You try with a question – and he dodges it at the speed of light. The mystery in his dark eyes and the mischievous smirk reveal within a fleeting moment that wherever he’s taking you is nowhere you might expect.
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When Taehyung pulls into the parking lot of the orchestra slash opera hall you work at, you’re confused.
Does he want you to relive stressful moments and return to the place you’re trying to take a break from? It’s not that you don’t enjoy your job – it’s everything and more you ever expected, the dream that kept you pulled into sleep as your graduation approached.
But no one wants to spend a weekend at their workplace. So he better have a good reason.
“Just trust me and wait, okay?” Taehyung tells you, patting your back before he slithers his hand into yours and pulls you towards the entrance.
You laugh with a crease between your eyebrows, your dress fluttering in the soft evening breeze; and when you enter the hall, you shiver. It’s colder inside than out, the sheer volume of the hall even more overwhelming when it’s empty.
You’ve always admired the structure and architecture of the place; it’s sovereign and elegant, reminiscent of a time period when corsets trended and operas peaked. You could never grow tired of the sight.
But it looks different today.
Every golden light shimmers, drenching the room in dainty sepia hues. The rows of red seats stretch endlessly, and the ceiling shines onto you like the sun; decorated with ornaments too small and detailed to make out from where you stand.
The silence and magnitude of the hall don’t fill you with nervousness today. You don’t imagine the audience staring up at you, awaiting your part or your solo or your contribution to whatever piece your team might perform.
Tonight, you watch the beauty and glory with parted lips before you shift your attention to Taehyung’s gleam. He looks happy; you’re not even sure what you’re doing here, but he seems proud and satisfied with your reaction already.
Puppy eyes stare back at him – as though you’re here for the very first time.
“Are you serious…?” you ask, stepping closer to his body, seeking solace and closeness.
“Do I look like I’m kidding, baby?”
He smiles before he brings your hand to his lips, planting a tender kiss against your skin before he speaks on, “It didn’t take much to convince them to empty the hall for tonight. Care for some music?”
He leads you to the tremendous stage, taking slow steps up the few stairs; but you’re enamoured by the surprise, still baffled as to where you’ve suddenly landed. Letting your hand go, he sprints behind the stage, and within half a minute, the lights are dimmed, soft music escaping the speakers above before he emerges from behind the curtains again.
And when you finally find the strength to speak again, you question, “Wait… you really. Really?”
“I really did.”
“Is that…”
“Waltz of the flowers. Tchaikovsky for my beautiful, little swan.”
You think you might tear up. You don’t know what you expected, but an outing this sweet and thoughtful, with him, would’ve never appeared in your wildest dreams.
The stage belongs to you, and you’re the Clara to his Nutcracker, ready to unveil every secret and every tiny thought floating in his mind. Dedicated to you, to your heart, to your whole being and what you mean to him.
This much. You mean this much to him.
Teary eyed, you look at his lax figure approaching yours, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans as he stands a few feet from you. His hair shines in the light of the room, and he appears like a picturesque angel in the spotlight. You might be a musician, but you feel like an actress playing the main character in the most beautiful of romances.
“Are you gonna play Swan Lake?” you ask, sniffling with a laugh.
Taehyung hesitates, pressing his lips together before he flashes a boxy grin and says, “...No.”
And it’s exactly then that the music suddenly changes – you don’t know which rendition of Tchaikovsky’s piece he chose, but it’s over before you can blink. Instead, a lovely melody follows that you can’t categorise. You don’t think you’ve heard it before; a piano piece that you love anyway, because Taehyung understands your taste in music like no one else.
“No, but seriously,” he mutters, inching closer, “Swan Lake is too gloomy.”
You titter, and your joy only increases when he suddenly bows, stretching his hand towards you before his deep baritone offers, “May I have this dance, Ma’am?”
The happiness engulfing your chest threatens to burst in the form of never-ending tears, but you gulp down the physical effect of euphoria as you place your hand in his palm. He pulls you in and holds you close; his breath mingles with yours as your eyes fixate on the mole on his lips.
“It’s been some time,” you tell him, reminding him of the days when you were pregnant and freshly in love, dancing away the nights until dawn broke in. 
“It has been, hasn’t it?”
He twirls you around before you land in his firm grip again, and his fingers travel to the small of your back as he indulges in the laughter that echoes through the hall. You nearly fall and stumble, rounding the entire stage before you land in the middle of it again. There’s no one to watch or to judge – just you, lost and drowning in love.
And when the highlight of the song passes and the tunes of the piano grow even softer, the keys of it tapped lightly, your movements slow, too. You stare back into the ocean of affection that’s swimming in his eyes; and as he snaps out of his own stupor, he tells you, “You look beautiful tonight, by the way.”
You look at the white shirt that hugs his body, its sleeves rolled up; take in the dark jeans, the dark hair parted at the side and locks of it falling into his eyes. He’s dressed in such a mundane way, but looks so heavenly.
“So do you.” Your lips curl upwards when he presses his mouth against your forehead for a small moment, and when he looks at you again, you say, “I needed this… I really… thank you, Tae.”
“Swan,” he begins, tilting his head as his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and back. “I’ll take you to the biggest stage and to every hall on Broadway if I need to. I just… just need you to be happy.”
When he finishes his sentence this time, you don’t hold back your tears anymore. Let them flow, let the music and his words touch your innermost parts. Love is a sensation so phenomenal, so crazy that you think it might be a miraculous dream.
Taehyung has always shown you how beautiful life can be, even when the rollercoaster ride descends from time to time.
He lifts your chin, gazing into the depths of your eyes. Your heart beats in a different rhythm than the song chiming from the speakers. The hall resembles the whole wide world, but you’re in here alone.
Spinning around each other.
You orbit him. He gravitates towards you.
And he makes sure to let you know; shifts closer, the tips of your noses touching. He gulps, full lips brushing yours, eyes closing – and then, whispers, “I’m so in love with you.”
“And I love you,” you respond in kind; and before you’ve let out the last syllable, he’s pressed his mouth against yours, moving it slowly.
Three words, and he could keep hearing them all his life – your voice is a silky, smooth melody, a symphony so balanced and soothing that he wonders–
Is every song about you or are you the song yourself?
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You realise that struggles are indeed just a temporary phenomenon when you get to spend a life with Taehyung.
No matter the issues, you fight through them and pass the tests life throws at you with flying colours. Despite occasional judgemental gazes and random questions about your relationship, you manage to dodge any and all kinds of guilt that tries to sneak its way into your being.
Because you feel comfortable in your relationship – no matter whether a ring adorns your finger or not. You live together anyway – share a life, share a heart, focused on each other and your growing daughter; the memories you make with him don’t require a certain title or status.
Which… doesn’t mean that you don’t bawl your eyes out once Taehyung does propose.
As Taehyung’s nerves go haywire, fingers fiddling with the buttons of his suit, hair slicked back as he waits in a room for the event to start, Jungkook places a comforting hand on his shoulder. The men don’t know where Hoseok and Namjoon have disappeared; apparently dealing with something band and cake related.
They want the wedding to be perfect. But with the knowledge in mind that Taehyung might break a piece of furniture or two, they sent Jungkook to calm the groom.
“As far as I remember, you were ridiculously nervous the day you proposed, too. I believe you can do it, bro.”
But in the end… it’s not Jungkook talking Taehyung out of his stress, but the memory of the mentioned day that relieves his tension just a bit.
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Back then, Taehyung had nearly passed out at the thought of getting on one knee and finally taking your relationship a step further. As preparations advanced, he thought back to the day when he cleared his mistakes and walked to your place in the gentle drizzle.
He still remembered the tears you both had cried; still recalls when you’d told him that you were pregnant with his child; the happiness and excitement, your skin on his, the first admissions of love.
When you’d woken up tracing the colours of the rainbow on his face, and finally said yes to his semi-proposal of marrying him; the only man you loved, the only one you’d ever love.
But an actual proposal… slowly approaching. Taehyung was losing his mind.
“Tae, you guys have been engaged for over two years. The fancy ring is the only thing missing, really.”
“She calls you her fiancé when she talks about you, dude.”
“But–” He stopped mid-speech, his hand slowly coming up to his head. “Ouch.”
Candy grinned, dusting her hands off as she planted them on her hips. “You deserved that, you know?”
“So I’m aware,” Taehyung grumbled, rubbing the spot where his best friend had smacked him upside the head. “You’ve taken every single opportunity over the past two months to tell me that.”
Clearly amused but hiding her joy, Candy waved her hand in a nonchalant gesture, her lips forming a half smirk when she remarked, “Not my fault you took so long with your task. I got everything on my end done in half a day, bear.”
Taehyung glowered at the woman sitting opposite him, lower lip jutted out in a pout. “It’s not that easy to write a song for the love of your life, okay? I’d like to see you try.”
“Moving on!” Candy announced brightly, ignoring Taehyung’s light-hearted jab. “Everything’s ready for tonight, so you just bring your cute little tushy and make sure to be there early. We can do a soundcheck and everything first to calm your nerves.”
Taehyung blew out a breath of air he’d been holding in an attempt to lower his heart rate, the constant thudding against his ribcage proving to be a greater source of anxiety than he’d thought possible. 
“Hey.” A hand landed on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “Everything’s going to be okay. Hobi will be there too. And of course, you have me!”
Candy sighed when Taehyung barely cracked a smile at her attempt to make a self-centred joke. “Hey. Look at me. Hobi and I aren’t going to let anything go wrong, okay? Seokjin and Beauty are on standby too, if you need them.”
Beauty and Seokjin had gone out of their way to take care of Ara tonight – if Taehyung messed this up, it meant he’d wasted their free evening for nothing. Oh god, he was going to shit his pants. But still, he exhaled deeply, his eyes refocusing as he said, “Okay.”
Only, that it wasn’t all that okay.
“It’s not okay, it’s not okay, it’s not okay, it’s not okay, it’s not–”
Taehyung paused in the middle of his pacing, hands frozen in his curls as he looked blankly at Candy, dressed in a black, sparkly halter dress, who was currently snapping her fingers in front of his face to get his attention.
“So the musicians got sick and couldn’t make it. Big fucking deal, bear! You can play the guitar, can’t you? I can still sight read some piano basics. I’ll take over the piano.”
“But Candy, the drummer–,” Taehyung protested, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“You really think I didn’t prepare for this? I got Hobi to practise the rhythm of the drums. Those are the main instruments you need, right? We still have a few hours. Let’s give it a try.”
Taehyung, doubt still lingering in his eyes, nodded uncertainly. It wasn’t like he had a better plan.
The first few rounds left much to be desired, with Hoseok getting confused over which parts of the drums to hit and with how much force, Taehyung fumbling and forgetting to sing and play at the same time, and Candy getting her octaves wrong, but two hours of practice made a noticeable difference.
“Okay Tete, I gotta check with the manager to see if the waitstaff knows what to do and when, so I don’t have time to practise any more. Go take a break, I promise everything will be okay.”
With a smile, Candy got up from the piano bench, pushing back her shoulders to stretch them, and walked off the restaurant’s stage, her heels click-clacking across the marble. Taehyung smiled at the sound, remembering the way the same pair of shoes had once stalked across the deck of Jungkook’s 23rd birthday yacht, albeit much angrier back then.
Taehyung took a deep breath, puffing up his cheeks and folding in on himself as he rocked back and forth worriedly on the stool. 
“Taehyung,” Hoseok’s voice sounded from behind him. “It’s going to be okay. Trust Candy. She’s a micromanager and she won’t let anything go wrong. She has backup plans for backup plans which also have backup plans.”
The two men let out twin giggles at Candy’s bad habit before clamping a hand over their mouths, hoping the woman in question hadn’t overheard them. Perhaps it was a poor idea to be talking near a microphone.
Moving away from the inadvertent amplifier of secrets, Hoseok jabbed his thumb at the balcony, cocking his head. Taehyung nodded, letting a relieved smile overtake his lips. It’d been getting too stuffy indoors, or maybe that was just his nerves.
Now that the main event was less than an hour away, he was even more of a nervous wreck than he’d been when the musicians had called in sick. His feet were sweating, his hands were sticky, the back of his dress shirt was probably translucent at this point, and he was perspiring in places he didn’t even know had sweat glands.
Taehyung let the crisp evening air caress every inch of bare skin not covered by his outfit, closing his eyes and letting the feeling wash over him.
“Hoseok,” he began, not bothering to open his eyes. “Do you think it’s dumb that I’m worrying so much?”
“Absolutely not,” came a firm reply. “You’re worried because you love Swan that much. I feel the same way about Candy.”
It was a simple answer, but the candour relieved Taehyung of many of his burdens. There was no need to read between the lines, no flowery language. It was a statement and reassurance all at the same time, and Taehyung was happy to hear it.
The two men stayed outside for a while, until a rapid knocking on the glass door behind them alerted them to the time.
“Showtime?” Hoseok asked, offering an arm.
“Showtime,” Taehyung said back, walking closer to the older man.
Hoseok wrapped an arm around Taehyung’s shoulders and patted them in a show of silent support before pushing him ahead, sending a silent prayer to whatever Gods existed that tonight would go off without a hitch. 
“For both Taehyung and Candy’s sake,” he added as an afterthought.
When you arrived, you were confused, to say the least.
Confused when Seokjin and Beauty showed up at your doorstep, offering to babysit, saying that Candy and Hoseok had had some kind of last minute emergency and couldn’t make it. Confused when you saw said couple at a restaurant, darting around like a couple of nervous lizards.
Less confused when Taehyung greeted you with a gentle kiss on the cheek. Very confused when he smelled like sweat mixed with his favourite cologne. Less confused during dinner. So confused that you couldn’t begin to explain why you were confused when Taehyung mumbled something about needing the restroom before showing up on the restaurant stage, accompanied by Candy and Hoseok.
And then… all the confusion disappeared when Taehyung’s low register began to echo throughout the restaurant, each word he sang like a neatly wrapped love letter.
“In this moment I see you. It always comes around as I believed.” You didn’t know when he’d composed the song – didn’t know how you could miss his endless nights working on it. But when he continued, you took in every single word he chimed. “When the rain stops, you shine on me. Your light’s the only thing that keeps the cold out.”
You watched as Taehyung paused. His fingers shaking in the air above the guitar strings, he smiled uneasily at you, the nerves back in full force. “I love you,” you mouthed with a teary smile of your own.
Taehyung’s eyes lit up and he began to strum again, his melodious voice echoing sweetly throughout the silent restaurant again, its patrons equally as entranced by the beautiful man on stage.
“And I’ll tell you a million little reasons. I’m falling for your eyes… I just want to be where you are.”
He sang about not understanding you at times – sang about life bringing him always back to you. He sang the melodies into your heart and accelerated its beat, and your guts caught fire at the same time as your eyes watered. The firm Earth underneath your feet shifted and the air grew beautifully suffocating.
Every element combined, and he controlled all of them.
The first few notes of a keyboard piano echoed after a brief pause. You looked to the source of the music and met Candy’s mischievous gaze complete with a wink. Just wait and see, she seemed to say with her gaze. You returned her smile, watching the way her fingers glided gracefully across the keys before turning your attention back to Taehyung.
“Do you know? There’s a side of you that only I know… like the first snow on a summer night, you are an unbelievable miracle, a surprising moment.”
A miracle. A surprise. A marvellous wonder; was he singing about you or himself?
Another longer pause.
You looked at your best friends in uncertainty, wondering if it was meant to be an abrupt end. And then they began to play again, this time with Hoseok chiming in on the drums. It was a soft sound, one that could easily sound crass and unpolished, but Hoseok made it appear elegant, a gentle smile that hid a thousand secrets playing its own melody on his lips.
You had both your hands pressed to your mouth by the time Taehyung sang the final words, tears streaming down your face as your shoulders shook with the effort of staying quiet.
Taehyung stood slowly, never taking his eyes off you, strode to the edge of the stage, walked down the few steps, and sank to one knee in front of the light guiding him through life, pulling out a large, black velvet box.
“Swan… I’m really not good with words, but I wanted to give you the proposal you deserved. You’re my best friend, and the time we spent apart back then really put things in perspective for me.”
You were blinking at him, wiping at your cheeks before you noticed the smudge of smeared make-up on your thumb. You didn’t think the tears would subside anytime soon. Happiness had never felt this celestial before.
“You’re my endgame, you’re it for me, and you’re the one I want to be tied down forever. I know we did things a bit backwards, but with you, it all feels so right.” He paused, took in your expression and the way you worried your lips. And then, he popped the question. “So… if you haven’t changed your mind…will you still marry me?”
A brief silence followed Taehyung’s rushed words, not sounding like he’d practised for hours, writing and rewriting his proposal, even though he most definitely had. Before long, however, you eliminated the tension by breaking out into a loud sob, launching yourself off your chair and into his arms, holding him as close as you could. 
“Yes, yes! A thousand times yes, of-freaking-course, I’ll marry you!”
Your and Taehyung’s lips met in a tear soaked kiss, both of you crying tears of happiness as the patrons around you and your friends on stage clapped happily for you. The beginning of your happily ever after started now.
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And the deal of this happily ever after would seal today.
Taehyung has prepared his vows and made sure everything goes perfectly; there’s no way in heaven or hell that this day will go down the drain. But the rapid beating of his heart doesn’t calm down – not when he slips into his suit jacket. Not when he waits at the altar, drawing deep breaths.
Especially not when you finally show up, drenched in the spring sun as you stroll between the rows of guests. You don’t recall whose idea the open wedding was, but when you look at him from afar, your knees nearly buckle – because the scene, flowery, sunny and serene, must have popped out of a fairytale.
Is this the man you’re marrying? A being of heaven, descended just to be yours for an eternity? Who up above allowed him to steal your breaths like this?
You flash him a frisky smile, resisting the urge to wave as though you’re meeting him for a date to the museum. Instead, you wink before averting your gaze, fixing it on your three-old-daughter instead who follows your steps slowly. She’s carrying a basket around her wrist and a small, chubby hand throws flowers to the ground.
She thinks she’s reaching far above, showering you and everyone around you in the soft petals; but in truth, she’s merely jumping in place and covering the grass underneath your feet in roses and pink dahlias.
“There they are,” Taehyung breathes, his eyes darting between you and Ara.
Her actions make him chuckle, and once she detects him, she grins back, a full set of teeth blinding him before she waves in your stead. Taehyung’s large palm imitates her gesture kindly, and the picture of his daughter enjoying her own parents’ wedding fills him with strange warmth. Distracts him for a small moment.
And then, you finally step in front of him, hiding the tremble of your body as you gulp and greet, “Hi, you.”
“Hey, there,” Taehyung chuckles, folding his hands tighter to not reach out and pull you into him right there and then. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks. But you’re prettier.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Guys,” Candy’s voice sounds from behind you, scolding you through gritted teeth, “you know where you are right now, right?”
Taehyung and you both laugh through your embarrassment, and it seems that the audience in the first row has heard, too, because they join in gleefully. It takes a moment for the guests and you to fall out of laughter, and you straighten your stance as your eyes flick back to him and the ceremony begins.
His eyes remain dreamy, unblinking, and he takes in every little spot on your face carefully. To say his heart is bursting out of his chest is an understatement if he’s ever uttered one. The words spoken fade into the background, with your breathing becoming the main attraction at this place.
The way you hold his stare. The slow fall and rise of your chest. Your painted lips smiling, the shimmer in your eyes glittering more with the sun rays hitting you just right.
When it’s your turn to speak your vows, you almost whisper them – forgetting that a hundred guests and more are listening, leaning in to take in your words better. But much as on the opera stage years ago, the world vanishes and puts its spotlight on him and you.
Nothing exists, and nothing matters, except the little existence clutching your dress; interrupting the ceremony with questions here and there. Her excited, high voice sounds through the place, eliciting a few giggles from the audience; Ara looks at them carefully, nearly shyly.
She doesn’t understand what exactly is happening; just that “Mommy and Daddy are gonna knot the tie!”
You’re here to tie the knot, of course. But for your baby, you’ll knot whatever ties she wants.
Her error makes you laugh, which makes her laugh, which fills the air with laughter – and you wouldn’t want to let it die for anything in this world.
When everything is said and done, Taehyung finishes his speech in the most profoundly beautiful way you can ever imagine. And when the beat of your heart aligns with his, he, surprisingly, adding to the fire blazing in your chest, whispers into your ear, “More later.”
You don’t ask him what he means – don’t prod or gasp; knowing Taehyung, he still has a surprise up his sleeve that’ll astound you more if you decide to wait.
So you kiss him tenderly, transforming your love into an eternal bond, locking it in a chamber of your heart and throwing away the key.
You look at him – Kim Taehyung.
Your husband Kim Taehyung.
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“I first met Swan when we were in high school.”
Candy’s initially timid voice gains on volume the moment she finishes the first sentence. With a hand planted on her growing tummy, she smiles, continuing, “Till today, she is still one of my best friends and I am incredibly honoured that she let me make this day that much more special for her. And…”
Tears form in her eyes immediately; she didn’t think her emotions would get in her way this fast, but when they do, she laughs with wobbly lips, saying, “Oh gosh. I practised so I wouldn’t cry today. I’m sorry babe, I’m just so happy for you!”
She lets out a weak giggle, dabbing at her eyes delicately with an embroidered handkerchief.
“Well, since I’ve already gone off script, might as well scrap the whole thing and wing it, right?”
You let out a watery laugh of your own to match your best friend’s, wondering how she’s always able to make you laugh, even during the darkest times – namely, when you were apart from Taehyung.
“There’s so much Swan has done for me that we’d be here until my water breaks if I list them all, so I’m just going to thank her for being a constant in my life and for introducing me to my wonderful husband.”
She points to Hoseok in the crowd and he lifts his flute of champagne with a laugh so tender, so in love that it makes you miss the man who’s sitting right beside you, clutching your hand.
“Tete, Swan, you two are the actual cutest couple to exist, barring me and Hobi.” Candy laughs, sniffling. “Few know this, but Swan and Tete went through a rough patch a few years ago, but I never stopped believing in them. Because when you have a love that’s as strong as theirs, you don’t give that up without fighting for it tooth and nail.”
You nod along with her words, sharing a glance with Taehyung who mouths something to you, squeezing your hand and shifting closer to your form.
You remember. Still know about the mistakes you two made, failing to communicate and walking through the heartbreak until you landed back in each other’s arms. Forgetting about each other had never been an option – and sitting right here, right now, you’re happy that you did just what Candy reminisces about.
“They fought for it, against all odds. Life has thrown so much at them, but they never gave up, and because they didn’t give up, we’re gathered here today to finally celebrate their official union.”
Candy pauses to press her handkerchief against her eyes, sobbing shamelessly.
With a giggle, you stand up, vision blurred by the tears that continue to fill your eyes and make your way to where your best friend is crying on the stage, taking her shaking body into your arms and holding her tightly. Candy sobs into your shoulder, gripping onto your forearm as emotions overcome her, microphone held loosely in her free hand.
Together, the two of you sway in each other’s embrace, not caring that there are cameras pointed at you, capturing your tearful moments and dramatic friendship – because right now, you and Candy are two best friends who have braved the cruellest heartbreaks life had to offer and lived to tell the tale.
“I’m so sorry about that,” Candy begins shakily when she composes herself. “I’m not usually a mess, but I’m sure my husband and friends would love to disagree,” she chuckles. You squeeze her hand, smiling gently at her.
“What I was going to say is that Tete and Swan haven’t had it easy, and it’s only because they were able to have their happy ending after fighting for it for so long that I’m able to joke about it and say that they were absolute boneheads. Seriously, you two, it was like I was watching a drama with the amount of problems you had.”
You laugh, teary eyed, regarding Taehyung’s sitting form who smiles up at you, throwing a flying kiss into your direction, for both of you. You know Candy is pouring out her heart and love she houses for you – but with her words, you walk down memory lane with a soul floating so high above that you don’t want the moment to end.
Despite the heartbreak you experienced in the early stages of your and Taehyung’s relationship, you can’t help but feel a bittersweet sense of nostalgia at the pictures of a distant yesterday.
“But that’s the beautiful thing about it. Life has a funny way of working. You think after seeing how well Tete and Swan work together now that they should have gotten together from the start, but that’s not true. In high school, they were better off as friends. If they’d gotten together then, we wouldn’t be standing here today celebrating their marriage. They needed to grow up and have some time apart to think about what they meant to each other before they were able to finally fit together like kimchi and rice.”
Somewhere in the crowd, Jungkook cackles loudly at Candy’s comparison of your relationship with your husband to food, but you only grin – you couldn’t have put it any better.
“Anyway, I’ve probably overstayed my welcome up here, so please join me in congratulating my two best friends for finally getting married!”
Candy turns to you as she finishes her speech, eyes sparkling with more unshed tears and a smile that melts your heart before drawing you into a hug, her pregnant belly pressing against yours.
You can’t wait for her child to play with Ara – can’t wait for your toddler to lecture the younger baby on how to live life, show what experience she’s already collected to be a bigger and older sister to her.
The future holds so much, and you can’t wait to see it unfold.
But for now, you focus on the way Taehyung emerges from his seat and rubs his hands. He’s long discarded his suit jacket and draped it over his chair; he’s rolled up his sleeves the way he always does, the tie a little more loose than before as he approaches you where you stand.
With a pat on your back, Candy leaves the stage, her cue to let everyone’s attention shift to the couple of the night. And you expect Taehyung to stop in front of you – imagine him kissing your tear-stained cheek, asking you to dance with him. But instead, he lets your fingers intertwine and pulls you to the piano in the middle of the stage.
“What are you doing?” you whisper, baffled and surprised, not expecting anything more as the night approaches its end.
But he winks at you, the same sheepish grin spreading on his face that you used to smack away from you back in high school. He looks younger when he looks at you like this – reminds you of when you were friends, supposed to be friends. Living every day as it came, suppressing the feelings you hid for each other deep inside you.
“I told you more later,” is what you get as an answer.
Nervousness spikes your heart, and you let out a small but shaky laugh; you don’t know what he might still have planned. Does he want to continue the toast? Is he going to play your favourite piece, let you sing along?
Are you going to cry again?
A thousand questions ghost in the wrinkles of your brain, but you decide to wait. And apparently, the entire hall is holding its breath, because you hear birds chirp and stars explode – when you gaze across the ocean of guests, you see confused faces here, knowing smiles there.
The boys must know what he’s doing. Candy must, too, because–
Taehyung’s voice, amplified through the mic in his hand, pulls you out of your thoughts. His fingers hold the object delicately, almost pressed against his lips. You know he’s exhausted after the taxing day, but his eyes are sober, piercing your heart.
He takes a seat on the piano bench, placing the mic next to his leg before he speaks directly through the smaller one attached to the piano, “One promise isn’t enough.”
You place your hands on the smooth surface of the piano lid, still awaiting the big reveal as you step closer. There are a few sheets he’s prepared, but you haven’t peeked at them yet – anytime you try, he hides them from your vision, and you reckon it’s the surprise he prepared after all. Who are you to ruin it?
“I don’t know who invented the idea of wedding vows, because… I want to promise eternity to you every single day. I want to vow to love you until the very last day… or until you’re sick of me.”
You laugh, and the tears never stop – your chest is filled with the intensity of the moment, and you think you might just spend the entire night and week crying; the people you love need to stop planting roses and rainbows in your heart.
“I’ll never be sick of you,” you whisper, balancing your weight from one leg to the other.
Taehyung smiles at you, basking in the feeling that your words were directed to no one but him, and no one heard them but him. But he needs to declare everything you ignite in him; heck, the whole goddamn world needs to know.
“I want to tell you all the freaking time what I worship about you. What you mean to me. The little things you do that are engraved in my mind… Like.” He pauses, smiles down to his hands for a moment; and when he looks at you again, his waterline is red and the corners of his lips quivering. “The way you intertwine your fingers behind my back when you hug me.”
You know that you do. It’s a way to keep him close – to attach him to your body as if he’s a missing puzzle piece.
“And when you look at me like I’m the only light in the world,” Taehyung continues; the silence in the hall is nearly palpable. Everyone’s hanging at his lips, listening carefully. “I love it when you hold back your tears when watching Inside Out and the way you coo at me when you want me to eat something, because you’re so used to doing this with Ara.”
In the crowd, you find Ara sleeping in the arms of Taehyung’s mother. She’s not aware of the sappy confessions going on before her eyes. Doesn’t realise how integral of a part she is, how much she matters; how much she glues your little family together.
By now, you’re sure you’ve lost all remaining liquid in your body – but somehow, it keeps escaping your eyes and down your cheeks, dripping onto your dress like rain. Your fingers twitch at your sides, urging you to reach out, screaming at you to press yourself against him, in front of every single existence breathing in this room.
But instead, you listen, and he continues, “I’m sure every husband says that to his wife, but… you’re the only one who knows every single one of my fears. And the only one who’s forgiven me when I acted led by them. It’s like a river of poetry flows out of you, and I’m… genuinely not kidding, because me babbling all this stuff like a bard is just possible, because you make me think this way.”
He laughs through his sobs when you do, and his torso and voice shake, fingers wiping at his tears before they fall onto the piano keys gently.
“I’m a fool so in love with you that I still feel like I haven’t said enough, and I’m sorry. I just can’t go a day without you… and I can’t stop falling for you deeper. And I…” Another brief pause clutches your heart, because he’s sighing, smiling, sniffling before he finishes with, “I can’t stop looking at you… ever.”
And then, the back of his hand rubs against his cheeks one more time, clearing his vision before he whispers that what’s about to come is for you – before taking a deep breath and playing the very first notes.
For a moment, you freeze.
A few seconds pass, and your mind whirs – you feel like you know the melody. You’ve heard it somewhere – in a café? At a party? Is he playing the acoustic, piano version of a song you’ve danced to?
You think you know when you heard it last – sometime in the very distant past. Back when you’d received the most precious Christmas gift anyone could have crafted for you. When you were still innocent teenagers, worried about homework and exams and strict teachers and an uncertain future.
When his heart was already beating for you but hiding his feelings behind the curtain that you called friendship.
The song is soft and tender. Healing. Inhabits all comfort in the world, feels like coming home. And when you finally step closer, rounding the piano and glancing at the sheets, your heart hammers against your rib cage until it shatters.
Swan’s Song.
Your song.
The song he wrote just for you – modified and reprised, after more than a damn decade. Still yours, attaching itself to new and even better memories.
Just like in your younger years, his eyes follow the movements with a parted mouth, concentrating on the lullaby he was playing just for you. Back then, he’d told you it reminded you of what you were made of. Warmth. Richness.
He’s expanded it now – in high school, it wasn’t quite done, but now, it’s a full song rivalling all the composers you view as your role models.
And then, it’s over.
Thunderous applause follows the last note and the silence right after, and you plummet on the bench next to him, your hands grabbing his cheeks immediately. You ignore the shouts and cheers, crying and sobbing, probably making faces that are utterly ugly.
You press a kiss against his lips, shaking your head, entirely in disbelief as you ramble, “When did you– have you… was that?”
“You remember, right?”
“I remember, fuck, I remember, I–” You squish his face and laugh, pecking every spot of his skin, dry or damp. “You’re absolutely crazy for this, Tae.”
“Aren’t I?”
“Entirely. I want to hear it again. Every day, okay? You’re not allowed to fall asleep before playing it for Ara and me and–”
“Every single day?”
“For the rest of our lives.”
Taehyung falls silent. Breathes out through his nose and pulls you closer, blinking slowly in peace and serenity as he relishes your smile and your words.
And then, quietly, he confirms, “For the rest of our lives.”
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As days and months and years pass, the rest of your life feels exactly the way you imagined it – like a journey without a destination. Exciting and new, unexpected and delightful.
Even the moments you spend crying and in fear get tattooed into your memory and leave a lingering trail of nostalgia. When you think back to them, you realise that the wonders of life and its ups and downs are what make you so painfully human.
You wouldn’t have it any other way.
Not long after Ara’s fourth birthday, nature goes insane. Thunder pulls you out of sleep before the soothing sound of the rain pushes you towards dreamland again. But different from you, Taehyung doesn’t stay asleep.
Instead, he wakes up when a boom of particularly loud thunder reverberates throughout the apartment, his body jolting up and off his bed before he rushes to your daughter’s secluded room.
He doesn’t think she’s ever experienced a storm of this magnitude this consciously; the ones when she was still a baby have probably escaped her memory. And in his eyes, she doesn’t need to suffer through her first vivid one alone.
When he enters her room, he finds her half awake, her small fist rubbing her eyes as she calls, “Mama?”
“No, baby,” he whispers, taking a seat at the edge of her bed before he pulls the blanket off her face, “it’s me. Are you okay?”
“Wanna come with me and talk a little?”
She’s exhausted, the corners of her mouth having dropped, and even in the darkness, Taehyung sees that she must be close to crying. She’s a tough one. A little brat. Teases him back when he jokes around; loves to plant her hands on her hips to prove a point.
But she’s just a kid after all. And with his offer in mind, she nods, sitting up with dishevelled hair.
Taehyung pulls her up with a groan, and she wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his torso. She exhales against his shoulders in relief, and as he carries her to his own bedroom, he kisses her hair, questioning, “Why didn’t you come to me, Ara?”
He’s told her on multiple occasions to wake him when she needs anything at all – but with the way the thunder rumbles, he assumes she didn’t want to leave her bed and step into the darkness at all.
She doesn’t answer, still too delirious and tired from lack of sleep. He places her between your body and his, tucking her in before he places himself onto the mattress. Propping up his head in his hand, he looks at the hand clutching the blanket, wondering if you’ve woken up already.
But your breathing seems steady and your back turned towards him, merely your side profile visible every time the sky lights up.
“Can I hug?” Ara asks carefully, stars glowing in her pupils as she blinks at Taehyung slowly.
“Hug?” he asks, placing a palm on her back before he pulls her close to his body. “Of course. All the hugs.” His hand pats her back carefully, and she digs her nails into his white shirt with drooping eyes. “Were you scared, baby?”
“It was loud.”
“It really was. Wasn’t nice, right?”
“No. Why did it happen?”
Taehyung takes a deep breath, humming in thought. He isn’t going to explain the rain cycle and precipitation to his four-year-old daughter who’s just learned the terms for shapes and forms. She still stutters when she speaks – so he might opt for a slightly easier theory.
“So… there’s Zeus. He’s a God. Do you know what that means?” Ara nods, pointing to the sky, and Taehyung chuckles as he continues, “Yes. That. He makes it rain… the sky is so bright ‘cause of him.”
Ara stays still for a moment; Taehyung thinks she might have fallen asleep again, but then she shifts, asking quietly, insecure, “Zoos?”
He laughs again, the sound a little louder than he intended, and pulls her closer before he confirms, “Yes. Zoos.”
“Can he stop?”
“Of course.”
“Right now?”
“Try asking him super nicely,” Taehyung suggests, brushing the soft hair strands from her face, “you know what Mommy always says how to ask for more cookies?”
“Yeah. Try that.”
She takes a deep breath against his chest, pulling out an arm between their bodies before she waves towards the ceiling and window and says, “Zoos, no rain.”
And then, a quiet giggle sounds from your direction. Taehyung and Ara both refocus, staring at your slightly shaking form as you attempt to disguise the laugh as a cough that you know he won’t buy.
But he doesn’t address it just yet; converses a little more with your daughter in a way he knows will make you smile. He’s aware that you’re listening, wondering what they might come up with next.
Honestly, one of your favourite pastimes is hearing them talk – it must be the most hilarious thing you’ve ever experienced.
Just yesterday she told him that she wanted to grow up to be like him – and when he’d asked what she meant by that, she said, “Want to wear your jacket and black shnake.”
The clueless gaze exchanged between you and him left you guessing what she meant, and when she pointed to her neck, it clicked; and with amusing crinkles forming around his eyes, he clarified, “That’s a tie, baby.”
And upon learning the new word, she’d repeated it until she panted, Taehyung escaping her rambling smoothly when he excused himself to the restroom – leaving Ara in your lap to eat your ears off.
Her body turns just a little, and she wraps a small hand around your arm, sandwiched between her parents and savouring the peace after the fear. She taps your skin lightly, wordlessly; but the movement soon slows, and when you turn to your other side to look at her, she’s fast asleep.
You wait until her breaths have steadied fully. And when you look at your yawning husband, he reaches out for you, brushing the back of his fingers against your cheek as he whispers, “Go back to sleep, baby.”
Your eyelids flutter shut, lips mouthing back one last love you with the recurring thought of how in love you are. With him. With her.
But the whole wide world is in love with Ara, and you’d be crazy to blame anyone for it. And funnily enough, apparently even the Greek Gods are.
Because barely five minutes later, the thunder stops.
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Despite the fact that Taehyung and you have both taken off a week from work, you send Ara to kindergarten for as long as your schedule allows.
You’ve booked a flight for your very first vacation with her for next week, and with the errands you still need to run for it, you need a clear head and time. With her around, you know you’ll stop at every ice cream stall and give in to her little demands, wasting time and coming home empty handed.
But once the weekend is over and Monday rolls around, you find her pouting and quiet in the backseat of your car, refusing to talk with an annoyed expression carved to her face. Ruffling his hair, Taehyung leans into you, observing her statue-like stance in the rearview mirror as he asks, “Did something happen?”
“She won’t tell me,” you say, sighing in frustration, “she said she doesn’t like it there anymore.”
“Hmm. Think there’s someone being mean to her?”
“That’s what I’m trying to find out.”
As Taehyung pulls into a parking spot, Ara sighs in the most dramatic and exhausted way you’ve ever heard a child sigh, and with confusion lacing your features, you turn around, questioning, “Okay. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Idunwannago,” she complains, clutching her seatbelt as though it could disable you from undoing it. 
“Why not?”
“I don’t like them.”
“Okay, it’s either kindergarten or taking away your favourite ukulele. C’mon,” Taehyung interjects, stepping out of the car and to her side before he’s carrying her out with a whine. “If you want to go home, you need to tell us why.”
She squirms and protests in his grip, but he holds her firmly, dodging her unintentional hits before he sets her onto the pathway, crouches and assures, “I’ll just talk to your teacher and then we’ll do whatever you wanna do, okay?”
Ara grunts, her lips jutted, but she gives in eventually, gripping Taehyung’s large hand. He nods at you, and when you reach the cheerfully loud place, Ara wastes not a single moment to hide behind her father’s legs.
The teacher comes strolling towards you with a blinding smile plastered to her face, registering your daughter’s presence right away as she states, “Glad you were able to bring her today.”
“Why?” you ask, confused and wondering. “She’s been grumpy all day. What happened?”
The moment her gaze wanders to the children running around behind her, a boy steps towards you, holding a shovel in his hand with his shorts covered in sand. He squints into the sun until he’s standing in Taehyung’s shadow, and you shoot your husband a suspicious look as if to say, ”Maybe you were right.”
But the smile of the boy is so honey sweet that you melt just a little, his eyes wide as he asks, “Did Ara not come today?”
And before you can utter any further word, your daughter’s fury bubbles harder, and she emerges by a tiny bit as she declares, “Leave me alone!”
The teacher shrugs her shoulders, placing her fists on her hips as she clarifies, “They’ve been doing this for days.”
“Was he mean to her?” Taehyung wants to know, regarding the boy carefully – probably ready to scold him as kindly as he can muster.
“Not at all,” is, however, what she responds with, her sigh indicating her clear frustration, “but he does take her toys and runs away with them sometimes.”
“He has my softball!” Ara snitches, pointing at him; but he laughs at her, unbothered and calm.
And when he mocks her words, repeating them as a faint echo, Ara moves forward, ready to unleash her fury before Taehyung holds her back and steps closer to the boy.
“What’s your name?” he asks, offering his hand with a smile. “I’m Taehyung, Ara’s Dad.”
“So, Sungho…” Taehyung starts, his voice gentle, sweet, and careful. “Why do you steal her toys?”
“‘Cause,” Sungho chimes; but then, he suddenly deflates, puffy cheeks becoming impossibly rounder before he adds timidly, “she won’t play with me.”
Your lips form an O, an unexpected laugh falling out of your mouth that Ara responds to with another offended pout. Blinking at the boy, you inquire, “You take her toys to make her play with you?”
“I’m sorry, Ma’am.”
God, the manners he has. Your heart rises and soars, and the way he scratches his head reminds you of pictures hidden in your own memory.
Taehyung turns to Ara, squeezing her hand as he tells her, “It’s okay to play with him, baby.”
“I want my toys back first.”
“Will you talk to him if he gives them back?”
It takes a moment and a soft dialogue between those three, Taehyung’s head darting back and forth between the children before he rises to his feet jovially. Ara’s reluctant steps carry her to her maybe-friend, and she keeps her distance from him in alert, eyes never leaving his mischievous ones as he offers her his shovel.
Short, preschooler fingers wrap around the handle of the plastic tool, and she presses it against her clean dress before she gives him the tiniest, shiest of smiles. He’s telling her about a cave he built in the sand when Ara gasps, telling him to wait before she runs back to her father.
She plants a hand and a dirty shovel on his shoulders, getting on her tiptoes before she whispers something into his ear. With each word, his smile grows wider, and when she backs away giggling, he shakes his head and says, “Is that so? Tell them I said thank you.”
And then, she runs away for good.
When Taehyung steps next to you, a proud, satisfied smile lighting up his countenance that you respond to with your own, you ask, “What did she say?”
“She said,” he begins, cocking an eyebrow with an expression hilariously boastful – it reminds you of the Taehyung you fell in love with, “her friends think I’m pretty.”
You laugh, leaning into him with a hand wrapped around his bicep. Leading him back to the car, you tuck back your hair, confirming, “They’re not wrong. You are nice to look at.”
“Thank you. Aren’t you lucky as hell?”
“Lucky as fuck. Imagine the most handsome man being your husband. I can relate.”
You walk down the pathway slowly, enjoying the sun, the light breeze and the miracles of life floating in the air. Errands long forgotten, you let his bicep go and seek his fingers, entangling them with your own before you tell him, “They were like you and me in high school.”
“Ara and Sungho? I mean, hey… I didn’t parade around you like that.”
“Oh, did you not?” you tease, and he presses into your hand painfully, chuckling when you yell out in surprise. 
“Shut up.”
Puffing your cheeks, you take in your bright surroundings – this neighbourhood feels different from the bustling city. Since Taehyung and you left your apartment and moved into a house – for you and growing Ara’s sake – you’ve discovered parts and colours of the town that you only remembered from school trips.
Around here, people smile in a way unknown to you. The scent is different – flowery and fresh, somewhat nostalgic. And the warm hues of the sunrise and sunset; they feel new and reviving, too. You can barely believe that Taehyung’s office stands merely a ten minutes car ride from here.
Despite the occasional fights and struggles life has to offer – brief hurdles making you stumble – you never really fall out of the bubble of peace you reside in. Your existence on Earth has ups and downs – but you’re thankful that you get to experience them with the right people by your side.
As you step into the car and buckle your belt, your body is fully ready for a casual trip to the mall; eager to shop for summer clothes and sun cream… perhaps even an inflatable mattress and rubber ring for Ara.
But Taehyung, staring out the car, his fingers fiddling with the keys, licks his lips, pulling you out of your thoughts when he suddenly mutters, “I want another one.”
“A baby. With you.”
You’re perplexed. Baffled and bamboozled; out of words and searching for a response.
“Really?” you ask, leaning into him, but he’s still looking at his hand and clenching his jaw.
“Listen, I…” he begins, and you place a hand on his cheek, making him look at you, “I know the last time was tough for you, and it took some time to get back on track, but…”
You wait curiously – you wonder when the idea grew in his head the first time. Wonder how long he’s hidden this demand, scared you might reject him, fearing you might wave off his wishes.
But it seems that after all those years of raising a beautiful being, he’s broken his patience after all.
“But I want another one with you… make this family bigger, because,” he shifts closer, letting the keys fall between his legs as his hands grip yours, “I don’t think I’ve experienced happiness like this before. And it’s fine if you say no, because I saw the issues that come with a pregnancy and after birth, and I really fucking love Ara, so I–”
“I… really?”
“Yeah, I’ve been… thinking about it, too.”
And it’s true.
Watching Ara grow up has made you consider more than just once that she might have started feeling lonely. In her kindergarten, most of her friends speak about younger and older siblings; conversations that she carries back home with excitement in her eyes. And it��s happened more than just once that she muffled her voice under her shirt, averting your gaze and carefully mumbling, “Want one, too.”
You think it was only a matter of time when the moment finally arrived – especially with someone like Taehyung who’d dreamed of raising multiple children even when you’d been teenagers in school.
“You have?” he questions incredulously, prodding further. “Are you sure?”
“Is it really so hard to believe?”
“No, I just figured…”
“I know how much things sucked for a while, Tae, but… they don’t compare to what you two make me feel now. And I…”
A beat of silence passes, and Taehyung blinks at you, asking, “You what?”
“I’ve heard it gets easier with each child.”
Laughing, he bites into his lower lip, brushing back his hair before he places a finger under your chin and jests, “So if I asked you for three more…”
“Easy, tiger.”
Your laughter mingles in the suffocating air of the car, and his warmth floods heat into your body harder than the summer does – even after all this time of your togetherness. And when he lodges the car key into the ignition, the fire burns brighter and hotter when his voice falls a few octaves, stating, “The day is still long. Fuck shopping for now.”
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You fall onto the bed with a giggle that overshadows the creaking of the mattress, hands clutching the sheets and eyes following his lax movements.
With two of his buttons already free, you gape at the clavicles and the golden hue of his skin. His eyes grow a shade darker with each millimetre he closes in, and by the time he’s crawling over your anticipating body, he looks like a predator hunting its helpless prey.
Whatever jungle he’s thrown you into, it appears like he hasn’t eaten for days, and with the hunger growling in his mind, he places a hand under your jaw; raises your face and bites into your lips just once before he asks, “Know what that means?”
You don’t know what that refers to. Neither can you muster the strength to decode his little riddle; but you still lick your lips in utter thirst, barely able to hold in your excitement as you answer, “More babies?”
“No,” he laughs, his voice laced with slight mock that morphs back into seduction all too soon, “I get to fuck you without a condom.”
His lips ghost over your cheek and back to your earlobe, planting featherlight kisses at the back of your neck before his soothing, intimidating baritone assures, “Oh, I’m gonna unleash my beast today, baby.”
“Is that a threat?”
“A promise.”
“Please do.”
And then, he smashes his lips against yours, gripping the nape of your neck as he attempts to push you closer into him, ready to devour you whole. His hips, impatient and eager, roll into you slowly, and you breathe a deep sigh into his parting mouth.
He moves to the veins of your neck, butterfly kisses and soft bites setting you alight. Exploring fingers raise the hem of your dress, squeezing your thigh as he savours your gasps and moans. And when you lift your legs a little higher, his fingertips crawl along your skin, ghosting over your panties while yours bury in his hair.
You tug at the tresses the way he loves most, and he lets his tongue slide along your neck and shoulders. It seems that he’s struggling to settle on one spot of your body as much as you do – because he’s falling into the traps of your labyrinth and getting lost in you. Getting pulled in by you. You wonder if he still remembers the time and date.
He cups your tits and nibbles at your jaw, taking his time with investigating your body as if he doesn’t know it inside and out already; and then, he whispers, “Never change your perfume.”
“You say that… every single time.”
“I mean it.” Lewd kisses make your skin tingle, accompanied by soft, quiet groans that vibrate against your flesh. “Drives me crazy.”
His hair tickles your face, and you exhale with a sharp hiss – and when you open your eyes again, a silver-grey streak flashes into your sight. Internally chuckling, you blend out the feeling of his fingers against your clothed wetness, telling him, “You’ve got some grey hair already.”
You’re not certain how your words affect him, but when he presses the pad of his digits into your cunt a little further, you begin to crumble. You squirm, but he holds you in his grip firmly, his chest lowering and pinning your body underneath.
His tone lascivious and low, he remarks, “So do you.”
“But you… you look so hot like that, you…”
“Silver fox, dadd–”
“I swear.”
He slaps your thigh in amusement, basking in your surprise before you fall into tender laughter. Despite his monstrous tendencies, your sweet husband seeps through here and there, and you don’t think you’d enjoy even the lewdest moments with him this much if they weren’t filled with airy lightness.
But once your giggles subside, the lecherous colours in his eyes return, and he states almost nonchalantly, “Gonna stuff that nasty mouth of yours.”
“Do it, you dilf,” you answer, attempting your best to keep your speech stutter-less, “I’ll suck you dry.”
“Bet you will, babe.”
You open the rest of the buttons of his shirt in an agonising pace, letting two remain that hold the shirt together with all their strength. You brush your palm along his toned, naked chest, graze his rapidly beating heart while he begins to work on your dress.
He pushes down your dress and discards it along with his shirt within a moment, his hair falling into his eyes as he looks at you with a gaping mouth. Keen hands take off his jeans and throw them to the back of the bed, and once you detect the strain in his underwear, drool collects on your tongue immediately.
Kneeling over you, he touches the length resting sideways slowly, tainting his underwear with his precum as his free hand kneads your tits. It trails down to your belly button and follows the lines of your stretch marks, puffing out a breath before he claims, “Fuck… how do you just… breathe and get hotter?”
He pinches your nipples between his fingers before his palm wanders on, pulling down the straps of your bra as you shift. Smoothly, you unclasp it behind your back, smirking slightly as you answer, “It’s the mom glow.”
“Can’t deny.”
And that’s the last statement you get before he’s discarding his underwear, too, the dick slapping against his stomach, so scrumptious and smooth that you let out an involuntary whine. You clasp a hand over your mouth, and he laughs with his lips between his teeth; shifting closer until you're propping up your body on your elbows.
“Aren’t we ready?” he whispers, stroking his cock as you watch his balls harden.
He’s going to be the death of you.
“Open up then, sweetheart.”
Yeah, you’re sure he’ll be the death of you.
You stretch out your tongue, staring into his hooded, dark eyes as you plant your hands into the mattress tightly. Taehyung doesn’t waste a moment before he’s tapping your tongue with the heaviness of his cock, running the tip along your taste buds to spread the tiny ropes of cum thoroughly.
You twirl your tongue around his head, kissing the warm muscle, and before he knows it, you’re wrapping your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks. You try to muster the strength to work on the base of his length, but you’re positively trapped, prone to falling once you lift your arm.
So instead, you bop your head back and forth slowly, taking him in as much as your throat possibly allows; and with the way he starts to move his hips, he guides you efficiently anyway. Your tongue swirls circles along his thickness, swallowing around him as he grips your hair and pushes you towards him further.
Throwing his hair back, he murmurs, “Look at me, baby.”
“Mmmh,” you hum, staring up with a light line of tears. He adores it when you look at him like that – knowing this keeps your eyes locked on him as you gag and whimper, your body begging for more until he caves.
“Can’t wait to fuck you like this,” he tells you, chuckling above you with mischief glinting in his gaze, “gonna fuck you so good, okay? Yeah?”
You nod, and when the movement causes his cock to slip out and slap back with a lewd, wet sound, you’re panting; breathless but still in need of more. But when you attempt to reach out again, he pushes your hand away gently, moving down the bed again as he explains, “Not gonna come in your mouth today. Next time, yes? No wasting…”
He rids you of your panties and spreads your legs with a squeeze of your knees, kissing his way down along your stomach and your pelvis until he plants a tender peck onto your heat. 
“You’re so fucking wet, it drives me insane, fuck.” Sliding a finger between your folds, he looks up at you, adding in a whisperl, “Gonna make another little us today.”
This should be illegal. He should be illegal.
Tantalisingly, he draws shapes and forms against the dampness of your pussy, low groans vibrating and burning up your deepest core. His digits ghost over your clit, the touch light and barely there; he knows teasing you gets you ready for him more than any frantic rubbing could, but right now, you need more.
“Are you gonna wait all day?” you breathe, placing your legs on his shoulders as you draw him closer.
“You really wanna be a brat, baby?”
“What if I said yes?”
“You’re testing me. I swear.”
But no matter how much Taehyung rolls his eyes, he gives in each time. And now, he doesn’t hesitate to nosedive into you, too, the sounds of his kisses crude and sinful; utmost torture of the devilish kind.
His nose buries in your pelvis and tickles your clit, and he takes in your scent as he wraps one warm around your squirming leg. Pushing it off his shoulder, he pins it against the mattress, spreading you further until your arousal glistens for him on full display.
And then, he starts in earnest. Attaches his lips to your nether ones like a starved man, moving his tongue up and down in stripes until you’re yelling his name, digging your nails into his arms, letting him drink you up like he was born to do it.
The sounds filling the air are wicked, but his touch is divine; and when he keeps French kissing you like he’s tasting a cherry flavoured dessert, his thumb circling your clit, you yell out, “I’m coming… don’t stop, just like that, please.”
And as promised, your orgasm washes over you in waves, as though a storm is disturbing an ocean’s peace. Crushing, crashing, crass.
Taehyung’s tongue fucks you through your high until the sea calms, and when your muscles relax, your eyes open to him staring down at you. Rubbing the skin of your thighs. Fingers slowly coming down to plunge into your cunt for a moment longer, scissoring motions pushing you into oversensitivity.
“You good?” he asks, shaking the hair off his face before he leans in and kisses your cheek.
“I’m good. Pump a child into me, tiger.”
The laughter that erupts is brief but loud, and for a moment, you forget that you’re naked and under his control – with the rectangle grin in sight, he’s your personal sun. Comfort personified. The man of your dreams, walking outside of your dreams.
“You’re so…” he starts, shaking his head as he towers over you, leaning down just a little. “You’re the love of my life.”
He holds your gaze, watches your smile fall and give way to a dreamy, lost expression instead. You’re barely blinking, but you react when he rubs his leaking head against your dripping core. You gasp and sigh, your chest rising and falling hard; your hands grip his flexing bicep and hide his elephant moles, pulling him in to meet his lips.
But he doesn’t kiss you just yet; observes the movements of your body instead, pushing in his length a few inches. God. He never fails to render you speechless. Over five years of your relationship and two years of marriage have slipped by, but your heart still hyperventilates.
Kim Taehyung will never be less than a radiant star to you. No matter how many heavenly bodies exploded in your past, he lit them up anew and stored the galaxy in your eyes. The happiness doesn’t fade and the misery never lingers.
“Can I?” he queries, raising your legs up his torso.
He nods, shivering and drawing a breath. Your walls welcome him swiftly, but he slides in carefully nevertheless, his eyes darting between your face and where his cock disappears. Rosy, full lips parted, he buries his mouth in your neck, breathing against it heavily before he kisses you once and asks, “How does it feel?”
“So good… More, Tae…”
“Always the same.”
He lets his floating body fall onto yours lightly, lifting his face to stare into your expanding pupils. His hand brushes the hair from your sweaty forehead, and settles at your temple, and he looks at you so intently that you fear he might have forgotten his own name.
His hips come into motion cautiously, dragging back his cock before pushing it in up to its hilt again. Your walls engulf him as perfectly as your hug does his body, and you both become each other’s second skin, moulding to one single statue.
As Taehyung’s tongue trails down to your nipples, his body slams against yours a little louder, a little harder. Your palms wander along his sides and his shoulder blades, hugging him close as he fucks you into the sheets; lovingly but with punctuated, calculated thrusts.
“So fucking good,” you praise when your voice allows, your moans gaining on volume; your words losing their comprehensive quality. “Tae–”
“Your tits look… fuck,” he curses, gripping one of your moulds between your bodies again, “just look at you.”
Your body jolts upwards when he drills you further; his movements are sharp and hypnotising, his kisses electrifying and prickling. He fucks into you deep – doesn’t leave a spot of his cock and your pussy untouched.
He kisses your skin, bruises your thighs with his relentless grip – Taehyung has always lost himself in you too much. Always leaves marks of his nails in your flesh that you feel hours after. He knows it drives you into madness, even if he never does it on purpose.
Taehyung moves his body in circles and licks the corners of his lips temptingly, and with your eyes fixed on his plush lips, you whisper, “Can you kiss me?”
“Don’t ever wanna stop,” he admits, tilting his head, brushing his mouth against yours, “my pretty girl.”
And then his tongue is dancing with yours. The kiss keeps breaking as his body moves up and down above yours – but you keep meeting afresh, seeking each other, never getting enough.
Gentle love-making has never been this sweet yet powerful; whenever you get used to his lips on one patch of your skin, he moves along to another spot, drowning into you the way he feels you deserve.
He kisses your neck. Travels up to your face. Your lips, your cheeks, your eyelids. He keeps telling you how sexy you are, how gorgeous you are; repeats over and over again that, “You’re a goddess, shit.”
Taehyung worships every part of you, and he never hesitates to show you just how much. Every intimate moment feels like he’s seeing you for the very first time; like you’re unreal and fantastical and will slip out of his grasp if he stops kissing you.
He sighs and groans, damp hair grazing your forehead as your sweaty bodies collide again, telling you, “You looked so fucking hot when you were pregnant with Ara.” Grunting, his arms snake underneath your body, wrapping around your torso to pull you closer. “God, can’t wait to see it again.”
“Tae, baby…”
“Gonna do anything for you, okay? Anything at all.”
“Can’t… think.”
He puffs out an amused breath, and both your eyes reveal how close you are to tumbling off the edge. Deliberately, he lowers his voice some more, mumbling right above your ear, “You want to say something?”
“No. No, can’t–”
“Baby, I can’t wait to…”
The thought of you carrying his children is inexplicably attractive to him. The fact that it’s him who gets to build a family with you. Who gets to hold you like this. You’re the softest feather in the goddamn world, and he gets to write his own little story with you.
“Gonna take better care of you this time,” Taehyung mumbles; but his words clutch your heart and let it bleed. Does he think he didn’t do well enough last time? When he gave his all, sacrificed sleep, energy and work he still needed to finish?
“You always do, Tae.”
“My princess,” he calls, his voice shaky and delicate; emotions levitate in his eyes and between you, and you feel your guts turn, “so beautiful.”
“I love you, Tae, I really… real–”
“I love you, Swan,” he declares, clenching his teeth as though his love for you is overflowing and overwhelming him, “fuck, I love you so goddamn much.”
When his fingers roam your body, digging into your ass once more before settling on your clit, your walls contract and spasm, ready to let go any minute now. And he aids you in your quest the way he always does, thrusts penetrating your pussy as he works his digit around your bundle of nerves.
You scream out his name, tears of pleasure blurring your vision, your thoughts staggering. Spellbound and drowning, you feel your sanity slip, and before you can blink twice, you’re creaming his cock and throwing your head back.
“Oh my god, you’re,” Taehyung begins, holding you tight and solidly, “so beautiful, Swan.”
His gaze reveals exhaustion, but he remains steadfast in his motions, and only falters when he hammers into you two, three, four more times and…
Limbs shaking and almost buckling, he paints your pussy creamy white, emptying himself inside you before he sighs and huffs. He lets out a cough as his breath attempts to steady, nearly collapsing onto you before he shakes his head clear and pulls out immediately.
Impatient and eager, he pushes two fingers into your cunt before he presses your nether lips together as if he’s closing a sealable bag. You laugh when he proceeds to close your legs, planting them on one of his shoulders, and ask, “What are you doing?”
“Gotta keep it inside and maximise our chances.”
Your giggle continues, and you take a deep breath, letting your arms fall to your side as you joke, “Babe, the last time I got pregnant despite being on the pill. Don’t think what you’re doing is necessary.”
“Just making sure. You never know, okay? Candy and Hobi have been trying for a few months.” He shrugs his shoulders, smiling at you as he brushes his dark locks back. “It’s okay. If this fails, I’ll fuck you till you’re up the pole.”
You scoff and roll your eyes, wholly delighted and endeared, as you say, “And they say romance is dead.”
Taehyung grins at you sheepishly, patting your stomach, still sweaty and bare in front of you when his firm voice states proudly, “My baby.”
Seems like a husband can distract you from errands more than a daughter ever could.
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“No fucking way!”
Candy’s voice chimes across the room, her eyes filled with pride, love, surprise and betrayal.
“You kept it from me for what… four months?!”
You throw a guilty smile into her face, staring between her and Taehyung as she leans forward. Her near-scream overshadows the busy yelling of Ara and Candy’s twins, and for a moment, the kids halt to look your way, big eyes blinking in question before you tell them, “Go on.”
“But seriously,” Candy scolds, folding her arms in front of her chest, “I’m hurt.”
“A boy, you said?” she asks, shooting a look to where Taehyung and Hoseok sit, occupying the couch and discussing something in a heated conversation that you can’t make out from here. “Finally a little guy for Taehyung, too?”
“Ah, Tae doesn’t really…” You shrug, drumming your fingers against the table softly. “He doesn’t care about standardised clichés. He just wanted another little version of us, no matter the gender.”
“How does Ara feel about it?”
“Oh, she’s over the moon. She pats my tummy and tells him stories. Kisses it, too,” you answer, sighing and leaning back on the chair. Your stomach hasn’t grown too much yet, but you feel the fatigue every day. “She was alone for years. She’s not used to all this, so she’s more excited than Tae and me.”
Candy nods, stopping for a moment to warn her children not to break anything in your home, and then asks, “And you? How do you feel?”
As hard as your first pregnancy had been, this one feels light and easy; so far, you’ve been enjoying looking into the mirror and taking in the glow. Your skin has cleared, happiness written all over your visage, and worries dissipate as soon as the four of you come together as a family on weekends and after work.
“Happier than ever,” you tell her, pressing your lips in a tight smile.
“Good,” she smiles, getting on her feet as her eyes flick to the kids in the corner of the living room. She places a hand on your shoulder, and then ruffles your hair, adding fondly, “You deserve that, babe.”
And then, she’s jogging to her twins and Ara, shaking her head at them, standing around the spilled water like some toddler cult.
You stare at your sparkling wedding ring for a moment, turning it around your finger; and when you lift your face and shift your focus to the couch, you realise that he’s already looking at you. His elbow on the sofa arm, his palm cupping his face.
Hoseok has turned around and is taking in the scene between Candy and the children, but you and Taehyung keep your eyes fixated on each other. Take in each other’s sparkle. You smile from across the room; and he winks at you, sighing before his mouth forms a kiss and sends it your way.
Now that you think back, it has always been like this.
Even in high school, you’d come together in a group of friends that consisted of way too many people. But you’d always drift into his direction; his knees touching yours. His arm around your shoulder, your giggles filling the far corner of a room.
You’d be the first he’d ask for homework and the last he’d wish a good night. Nights spent video calling, walking along empty streets, laughing your way through summer rain. Your eyes lingered on each other, no matter who was around.
Even now, despite the committed, serious and earnest expression he wears in meetings and at work, he melts in your presence – because for a successful businessman, Taehyung is so, so damn weak for you.
Your song plays in his mind in a loop – sometimes the beat of a gentle symphony, other times the pulse of a spirited rhapsody – both of which, the rhythm of his heart is well adjusted to.
It has always been like that.
And it will always be like that.
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thank you for reading if you did 🥺 this couple has been my everything for a year now and they deserved all the cheesiness. gosh, i *gets emotional* love them so much :(
if you enjoyed the fic, let me know and support me by liking, reblogging (!!) and/or leaving a comment/review! let’s talk some !! <33
151 notes · View notes
hamsterclaw · 2 days ago
You love your husband, but sometimes he makes you want to wring his neck.
Part of the 7 hours series. Read the rest:
7 hours, Pornstache, Extinction Rebellion, Jinx, Illicit, Fall
Pairing: Taehyung x F! reader
Rating: 18+
Genre: Non-idol AU, smut
Word count: 2.5k
Warnings: Sex, sexual innuendo, swearing, marriage problems
Tagging: @jdecalcomaniajk @reliablemitten
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Your phone is ringing. It’s Taehyung, your –
Well, you’re not sure how to define Taehyung right now, at this particular moment in time, to be honest.
He’s technically still your husband because you’d never actually gone through with the divorce.
He’s been your partner since university, and you love him, but you also hate the bones of him sometimes.
He’s beautiful, charming, funny, amazing in bed, but today, the main adjective you’d use to describe him would be annoying.
He’s been annoying you since he woke you up this morning.
You turn your phone over and try to concentrate on booking a flight for Joan, your boss.
Your phone is vibrating, and you know if you answer it, it’ll annoy you.
Leaving it to ring is also annoying you, though.
You snatch up your phone and answer.
‘Yes, darling?’ you ask, an edge to your voice.
‘I’ve been in a car accident,’ Taehyung says. ‘Can you come get me from the hospital?’
You burst into tears when you see Taehyung.
He’s sitting up on a hospital bed. There’s a cut over his left eye, and his left arm is in a plaster cast.
‘Tae,’ you cry, rushing towards him.
He pulls you to him, kissing your hair. ‘I’m ok, baby.’
‘What happened?’ you ask. You’re looking at him as he speaks, trying to see what else is hurt.
Taehyung tells you about a truck barrelling into his car at an intersection and you listen in horror as he tells you about his car flipping over. Thankfully, everyone’s escaped with minor injuries.
‘Don’t cry, baby, I’m fine.’
You hadn’t realised you were still crying. You swipe at your tears, trying to regulate your emotions.
‘You’ll have to drive us home,’ Taehyung tells you, gently.
You pull yourself together. ‘Let’s go.’
Taehyung shuffles into the living room.
‘I’m horny,’ he announces.
You hit mute on the virtual meeting you’re attending.
It’s been two weeks since Taehyung’s car accident. The cut over his eye has healed nicely, it’s barely noticeable now. He’s grown proficient at doing things one-handed.
Everything except one thing, apparently.
You tell him, ‘I’m in a meeting, Tae Tae. I can’t help you with that.’
Taehyung scratches his beard.
He’s got a genuine excuse for not shaving, but you know just how much he loves his facial hair.
Taehyung flops on the sofa behind your laptop. From this angle, you can see each other, but the rest of your colleagues can only see you.
He pouts at you.
‘Your tits look beautiful,’ he tells you.
‘Thanks,’ you say, briskly, trying to concentrate on the discussion.
‘When’s your lunch break?’ he asks, hopefully.
‘I’m not having lunch,’ you tell him. ‘I’m never eating again.’
Taehyung rolls his eyes.
Jinx, your grey shorthair, jumps onto the sofa next to Taehyung, settling in his lap.
Taehyung shifts uneasily. ‘Don’t touch my boner, Jinxy,’ he mutters, brushing Jinx off.
Jinx flicks her tail and wanders off.
‘Are you hard, Tae Tae?’ you ask, sympathetically.
‘So hard,’ Taehyung tells you. He shifts again, showing you the outline of his cock against his shorts.
You sigh. You need to get some work done, but since his car accident, you’ve been reminded how much you love him, how big a part of your life he is.
Taehyung, sensing your change of heart, smiles at you.
You’ve always been a sucker for his smile.
‘Ok,’ you relent. ‘But can I shave you, too?’
‘You can do anything you want,’ Taehyung tells you.
You’re sitting on the bathroom counter with Taehyung standing in front of you. You pull him between your legs to keep him still whilst you shave him.
Taehyung leans forward to help you as you run the razor through the foam on his face and dip it into warm water to clean it off.
‘I think my beautiful husband is under here somewhere,’ you say teasingly.
Taehyung smiles. He leans one hand on the counter next to your thigh, his thumb rubbing circles into your bare skin.
‘Your beautiful husband can’t wait to get between these beautiful legs,’ he says, voice low, the husky tone of it making you shiver.
You wipe the foam off, looking for any spots you’ve missed.
‘We’re done here,’ Taehyung says. He’s barely looked in the mirror whilst you’ve been shaving him, choosing instead to let his eyes roam your body. The intent in his eyes is so blatant you feel like your skin is warming everywhere he looks.
‘Let me check,’ you say, putting a hand on his chest.
‘We’re done. I can’t wait any longer, baby,’ Taehyung tells you.
The razor lands with a clatter by the sink as Taehyung pulls you off the counter and into your bedroom.
‘Watch your arm,’ you warn Taehyung as he climbs on top of you. ‘Let me be on top.’
Taehyung drops his head between your breasts, huffing out a frustrated breath.
‘You don’t have to be the boss all the time, do you?’ you ask, teasing, letting your hand trail over his boxer briefs.
Taehyung flops onto the bed, flat on his back. He looks up at you as you straddle him. His good arm comes up to cup the side of your face, thumb brushing your cheek.
‘How do you not know, by now?’ he asks. There’s a note in his voice that makes you look at him.
‘Not know what?’ you ask, lowering yourself to nuzzle his freshly shaved jaw.
‘You’re the boss,’ Taehyung tells you. ‘I’ll do anything you want.’
You look at him quizzically.
‘When I saw you crying in the hospital, it was more painful than getting my arm set,’ he tells you. He’s looking straight at you. ‘It was more painful than these stitches.’
He noses under your chin to kiss your neck.
‘I’m yours,’ he tells you.
You look down at your beautiful, romantic husband, and you wonder how you ever thought he was annoying.
‘I don’t want you,’ you say, lightly, smiling to let him know you’re joking.
‘That’s the problem,’ Taehyung replies, smoothly. ‘You keep lying to me.’
You squeal, outraged, as he pulls you down to him.
‘Pull my boxers down for me, baby,’ he says, his voice low, sexy.
You oblige, and he groans as you rub yourself over his cock.
‘So wet,’ he says.
He tugs at your bra with his teeth. ‘Take this off for me, baby.’
‘You have hands,’ you reply.
Taehyung just smiles. ‘Don’t you want my mouth all over your breasts?’
You’re unhooking your bra, expecting Taehyung to laugh, but instead he lifts his head, mouth opening wide to take as much of your breast in his mouth as he can fit. His tongue works your nipple, and you hum with pleasure.
The arm with the cast lifts up off the bed, and you push it back down gently. You weave your fingers through his, pressing him back onto the mattress.
‘Don’t hurt yourself, my love,’ you tell him.
Taehyung’s free hand is curled over your hip, helping you slide over his cock.
‘Can I get inside you?’ he asks.
‘Yeah,’ you say. You line him up and sink down onto him, sighing when he’s in all the way.
‘Your body looks different,’ Taehyung grunts.
He laughs at the look on your face.
‘Your body is fucking banging, my love. I could come just from looking at you.’
‘Oh my god, Tae. Shut up and fuck me.’
He does.
Taehyung’s dropping things into your cart at the grocery store, humming a song you heard on the radio on the way over.
‘I’ll make dinner tonight,’ he says. ‘I want Korean food.’
‘I’ll be your sous chef,’ you say, saluting.
‘You’re an idiot,’ Taehyung says, fondly.
You raise an eyebrow. ‘You going to do all the prep one handed? You can’t do anything one handed.’
‘Why use my hand when I can use your mouth?’ Taehyung asks.
‘Disgusting,’ you tell him, dropping some food for Jinx into the cart.
‘Or your –’
You cut him short with a look.
Taehyung smirks.
You’re loading your groceries into the car with Taehyung ‘supervising’. You shut the trunk and step back. In an instant Taehyung’s hand closes around your arm, yanking you back towards him.
You turn your head as a car passes, too close for comfort.
‘Idiot,’ Taehyung growls, glaring at the car that’s nearly hit you.
‘Is your arm ok?’ you ask.
Taehyung nods. ‘I’m fine. Are you ok? I didn’t mean to grab you so hard.’
‘I’m ok, Tae baby.’
You’re about to wheel the cart back when Taehyung stops you. ‘I’ll do it. You get in the car.’
Taehyung returns the cart and jogs back.
‘You haven’t been eating much lately,’ he observes.
‘I’m not that hungry,’ you tell him. It’s true. Work’s been busy, Taehyung distracts you when you’re working from home, and you haven’t really felt like eating. You’d assumed it was a phase.
‘I’ll make kimchi-jjiggae,’ Taehyung decides. ‘You need to eat.’
Taehyung’s a decent cook, but you groan inwardly at thought of the mess he’ll make in the kitchen.
Taehyung’s watching you in the rearview mirror. ‘I’m getting my cast taken off in a couple weeks.’
You feel bad.
‘I don’t know,’ you tease. ‘Maybe I like having you incapacitated with one arm down.’
‘Want me to break it again?’ Taehyung asks. He grins at you crookedly.
You laugh. ‘It was scary enough the first time. Don’t get hurt ever again please.’
‘I like you waiting on me hand and foot,’ Taehyung muses.
You laugh again. ‘I know you do, baby.’
He’s quiet as you park up and start unloading your groceries.
You spend the afternoon trying and failing to get any work done as Taehyung sings to himself and prepares dinner.
You’re working on some briefing notes after dinner when Taehyung comes into the room.
‘Come to bed, baby,’ he says, dropping a kiss on the back of your neck. He’s careful not to lean on you with his heavy cast.
‘I’ve just got to get this done,’ you say tiredly. ‘Joan needs it for next week.’
‘Is me being at home distracting you?’ Taehyung asks. He rubs your neck with his good hand.
‘I like seeing so much of you,’ you say, honestly. ‘I can’t remember the last time we’ve had this much time together.’
‘Once we start having kids I’ll cut back on my commitments abroad,’ Taehyung tells you. ‘I’ll be around more.’
‘I don’t know whether that’ll be nice or annoying,’ you say.
Taehyung laughs. ‘Oh, definitely annoying. But at least I’ll be here.’
He kisses the top of your head. ‘Want a snack?’
‘If you offer me your dick –’
Taehyung just laughs again. ‘There’s leftover tteokbokki. I’m having some.’
‘Sure,’ you say.
Taehyung watches you finish off the rest of the tteokbokki, a pleased smile on his face. ‘I love watching you eat.’
‘Sexy, right?’ you ask.
He thumbs a smear of sauce off the corner of your mouth.
‘Ready for my dick now?’
You groan, and Taehyung laughs. ‘I’m just kidding baby.’
He leans forward to kiss you.
‘Don’t stay up too late, ok?’
You and Taehyung watch as his cast is split and broken off.
He lifts his arm.
‘Does it feel ok?’ the nurse asks.
‘Yeah,’ Taehyung replies. He flexes his arm a little. ‘Feels great to have it off.’
He smiles, and you see how the nurse blinks at how gorgeous he looks. You can’t blame her. You feel the same.
Taehyung wipes off his arm, then slings it around you.
‘Let’s get brunch to celebrate me having two arms again,’ he says.
‘Where do you want to go?’ you ask. You can’t deny it feels good to have Tae’s arms around you again.
‘What do you want to eat? We can have anything you feel like.’
You’re waiting for a table when the smells of the fried food hit you, making you feel a little nauseous.
Taehyung’s watching you carefully. ‘You ok, baby?’
‘Just a little nauseous.’
Something flickers in Taehyung’s eyes.
‘Baby,’ he says, gently. ‘When did you last have a period?’
You stare at him. ‘Wh – what?’
‘You’ve been emotional lately, you haven’t felt like eating, you’ve been more tired, and your tits are definitely bigger, I’m not being an asshole about it.’
You flounder, surprised that he’s noticed so many things about you that you haven’t noticed yourself.
Taehyung nods. ‘Let’s get a test.’
When you go to the tiny shop by your apartment, Taehyung takes the lead. ‘Do you have any pregnancy tests?’
The cashier gives him a bored look and gestures to the shelf behind him.
‘We’ll take two.’
‘Why do we need two?’ you ask.
‘We actually don’t need any, I’ve suspected that you’re pregnant, for a while now,’ Taehyung says, lifting his phone to pay.
He lifts a brow at you. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to notice.’
The cashier hands you the tests, and Taehyung puts his hand on your back to steer you out of the shop.
When you get into your apartment Taehyung unwraps the cellophane around the boxes and nods to the bathroom.
‘I’ll wait outside.’
You pee on the sticks and leave them on the side of the sink.
Taehyung’s right outside the door.
‘It’s a few minutes for a result,’ you say.
Taehyung nods. ‘This is exciting, baby.’ He curls an arm around you.
‘What if I’m not?’ you ask.
‘Then we get to keep trying,’ Taehyung says, reassuring.
‘What if I am?’ you ask.
Taehyung grins. ‘Then we get to have lots of pregnancy sex.’
‘Why is sex the answer to both questions?’ you wonder.
‘Sex isn’t the answer. Love is the answer. I love you, whatever those sticks show.’ Taehyung rubs your back reassuringly. ‘Want me to go check?’
He goes into the bathroom. He’s in there so long you lift your hand to knock on the door.
The door opens, and Taehyung steps out. He’s got a look on his face you haven’t seen before.
Instead of talking, he pulls you into his arms and kisses you.
‘Fuck. You’re having our baby,’ he murmurs, lips warm on your face.
You pull back, trying to see his face.
He smiles down at you, and nods. ‘You’re pregnant, baby.’
He pulls you into another hug, arms wrapped tight around you.
You can feel his hardness pressing into your belly.
‘You’re horny, now?’ you ask.
‘I’m thinking about how you’ll look with our child in you. Fuck. It’s like my biggest fantasy.’
You look up at him, incredulous. ‘You fantasized about me pregnant?’
Taehyung just smirks. ‘Milky tits, a baby bump, what’s not to like?’
‘You’re romanticizing the realities of pregnancy,’ you scoff.
Taehyung grins, eyes bright. ‘I love the idea of us having a baby.’
You look up at him smiling down at you and realise that you do too.
©hamsterclaw 2022
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aajjks · 10 hours ago
Yandere!BTS: They are jealous. (M)
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Disclaimer: This is a yandere reaction, it’ll contain obsessive themes, Please keep in mind that this is purely fictional and I don’t think that any Bts member would ever act like this! DO NOT ROMANTICISE THIS BEHAVIOUR!
warnings: DARK THEMES, deg*ation, strong la*guege., jealo*sy, unhe*lthy relationships, cry*ng, extreme YANDERE BEHAVIOUR, go*e, shoo*ing, physical viole*ce, bl**d mentions…. And possessive behaviour.
note. It’s been very long since I’ve written a reaction so this can be pretty dusty, this is very da*k… share thoughts! ENJOY!
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Jimin saw pure red as he watched his younger cousin flirt with you. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to make you meet his family.
Or take you out in general. Fuck, you were way too attractive for your own good. What made jimin clench his fists in jealousy was the way he watched your cheeks tighten at whatever the fuck that little asshole was saying.
He was younger than you! How dare you. Aw long as jimin knew, you liked men older or the same age as you.
So why were you acting like a school girl with a ridiculous crush now? “Y/N?!?” Jimin ushered in your ear, his hot breath hitting your skin as your attention focused on your boyfriend. “What?” You replied as you excused yourself before Jimin took your hand in his and dragged you away.
“What the hell Jimin?!?” You exclaimed while trying your best to tear his grip off your wrist which was already starting to hurt.
The angry man didn’t bother to reply until you were forced in a room. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” You cried as he pushed you on the small bed.
“Shut the fuck up y/n and listen to me very carefully alright..?” He breathed as pushed his hair back. Trying to calm down.
“If you ever behave like that with any man I’ll kill them at the spot.” He glared at you, panting hard. His gaze drilling holes into your body.
“Even if it’s one of my family members. I do not give two fucks. You are MINE.”
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Taehyung wanted nothing more than to strangle that old bald piece of shit at the spot, as he sat right infront of him, and dared to undress you with his dirty gaze.
Taehyung out of anyone, knew that look of lust very well. It was a very familiar one after all. He looked at you like that.
But his gaze was not fuckin dirty and impure unlike Taehyung’s. You were his property, and he loved you so much above all. Taehyung was allowed to look at you like that.
But only him. “Pedro… stop looking at my wife, unless you want me to chop your small penis off. THIS DEALS OFF.” Taehyung pushed the fragile glass filled with wine ahead as it spilled all over the white expensive cloth. He took out his gun as he pointed it at the now shocked man.
Who was starting to pale as the situation escalated, catching you by surprise. “Taehyung!?” You gasped at your husband. “Babe. You go with your guards. I’ll be back.” He gritted his teeth. “I love you.” His gaze was fiery as he glared at the man.
“S-Sir! Please I-I am s-sorry please!” That was the last thing you heard as you were escorted out of the hotel.
“You motherfucker, dare to lay your cheap gaze at my fucking wife?!? I’ll fuck you up!” Taehyung screamed at him, cocking the gun, his finger settling on the trigger.
“THATS MY WIFE. MY QUEEN! MY FUCKIN GIRL!” The raging man pulled the trigger.
Shooting him straight in the left eye.
A shriek of pain left the old man as Taehyung laughed sadistically.
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“WHAT THE FUCK JUNGKOOK LEAVE HIM!” Your throat was aching at this point, the man on top of the bleeding one didn’t even budge. His pace was brutal as he threw another painful punch at the now unconscious man.
Jungkook was raging inside, he had enough. You were his, only his and this son of a bitch wasn’t willing to get that.
Maybe his skull was too thick. Jungkook didn’t mind breaking it if that’s what it required to get him to understand that you belonged to Jungkook.
“SON OF A BITCH! SHE IS MINE! MY Y/N MINE MINE MINE!” He gritted his teeth, strangling the persons neck.
The people in the hallway watched in horror as you and his friends tried to push Jungkook off the body.
“STOP IT! I WILL KILL HIM!!” Jungkook growled. He was always a very possessive man. “THIS MOTHERFUCKERS DEATHS IS NEAR!” He laughed. Tears were glossing around your pupils.
The sound of a bone breaking made everyone cringe. “JK STOP YOU’LL KILL HIM!” Yugyeom tried his best.
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sftykth · 2 days ago
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part 17 ¥ she’s cute
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༄ perfect now
— summary: you have always been taehyungs innocent best friend, so when things take a turn he starts to realise that maybe you are not all that innocent.
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authors note: tae isn’t happy👀 let me know ur thoughts!!
tags: @n4mina @finelinememories @fertileleaf @yoongiigolden @angelarin @stopeatingwhales @devilsbooksworld @kimxhanbin131 @rjsmochii @pamzn @notvantaes @lovelytaes-blog @ellesalazar @arepabella @onemanbandarmi @pb-n-juju @yoonabeo @pinkish-rue @4vonly @fancycollectormoon @broken-glowsticks @iqraali @persyhange @wrmnssoul
108 notes · View notes
smhtaehyung · 22 hours ago
shy on the sly (jjk)
chapter 5: falling into right hands
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pairing: jeon jungkook x reader
genre: smut, comedy, summer camp au
warnings: eventual smut, oral sex, awkward kissing and oral sex, horny jk, masturbation, voyerism, inexperienced!kook, awkward conversations. (slowburn?) dirty talk, perverted fantasies, shy jk, maknae line ft. Hobi, summer camp alternative universe, swearing, underage drinking, thigh kink, scent kink, kinks all round, masturbation in shower, public.
taglist: @mwitsmejk
summary: You and Jungkook finally sit down to have an honest conversation after a big fall out. Things get heated.
wordcount: 3,5k
If you don’t want to miss new chapters you can always ask me to put you in a tag list :)
Jungkook always hated mornings. Especially that morning after he had to listen to one of his best friends plough Y/N. Loud and hard.
He woke up to a sound of Jimin exiting the room, Hae had still slept in the bed and Jungkook had wondered if he slept that heavily so he didn't hear them hook up or they just didn't do anything. But Jungkook thought that was hard to believe.
Either way, he felt as if he had won the sad lottery of watching his friends get laid while he couldn't step up and be direct with Y/N. It looked wrong. He knew.
Jungkook sat on the edge of his bed, observing the silence. His ears were resting from hearing her moans. And how a gross embarrassing feeling grew inside his chest.
He stood up, leaving his room silently. It hadn't even been 7 am. He felt the stares from Jimin and Hoseok who got up already but he ignored it.
"Hey, you good?" Hoseok tried to get Jungkook to say anything.
He nodded.
Jimin sighed. All of them simultaneously sighed, actually.
Jungkook hated that Taehyung was still asleep. He couldn't wait to give him a silent treatment until he apologizes. Jungkook had lost the competition inside his head again. And he hated that he was angry. He hated that someone made him feel that way as soon as he was ready to relax with a girl and get close with her. So, in that moment, he hated how poorly he chose.
Jungkook sat at the table, trying to eat his cereal in peace, but he was annoyed with his friends trying to get him to speak again a couple of times.
"Tell Hae to go back to her cabin. Morning inspection is starting soon." Jungkook's tone was cold as he looked at Jimin, breaking off the uncomfortable silence with an uncomfortable sentence.
"I know. I'm just avoiding it." Jimin chugged on his water.
"Why?" Jungkook was really curious, enough to pause the silent treatment.
"Because I think she likes me. And I don't want to mess around with that. I just wanted to fuck." Jimin spoke but his tone wasn't that believable. Jungkook wondered if he had liked Hae. He knew Jimin always rushed into relationships all the time except summer holidays. He loved being single during the summer so he set one rule to himself - never fall in love in summer. Jungkook always liked that rule.
"Okay. Just get her out of the room. I want to go back to sleep." Jungkook took another bite, hating the bland taste.
And Jimin did what he had to do. He woke up Hae with a kiss on her temple and let her out of the window with a hug. She smiled at him a lot before leaving and Jimin really liked that smile. Shame he had to stick to his rule.
But Hae left something important back at that cabin. She left Y/N.
Y/N woke up half an hour after she left, the sun already up and heating up the air. Her sweaty body woke her up. Another hot day. And another mistake.
Y/N looked to her left and face palmed hard, flinching when she hit her forehead loudly. Taehyung shifted for a bit, his bare torso creating a few drops of sweat which only meant one thing - he was probably going to wake up soon due to a heatwave she felt before waking up too.
She wanted to avoid that. Especially after what mess she made with Taehyung. His clothes and pillows were all over the floor. She realized Hoseok didn't even sleep in the room because his bed didn't give any sign of someone being there the entire night.
She hated to admit it, but Taehyung was good. Like really good. Even tipsy, he hit all the right spots and made her come several times. To Y/N, it was probably the best sex she ever had. Taehyung knew how to fuck. The way his tongue worked her up made her engrave it to her memory as well. His hands squeezed her sides so hard that it left red marks. Y/N sighed to herself once seeing it.
There was one thing she hated more. She hated she had to do this because Jungkook used her. As revengeful as she was, she was still mad at Jungkook. But felt sad all this had to happen. And she was kind of crushing on Jungkook, but it was way too soon to fully realize it.
She dressed up completely, opening the door of his room to sneak out. She thought everyone was asleep but she realized how bad it looks especially when all three pair of eyes looked at her.
"Hey." Jimin tried to break the awkward silence.
"Is Hae-?" Y/N scratched her head.
"She left." Jimin answered briefly.
She hated how it happened on accident. The eye contact with Jungkook. She wanted to control her look and try to make an impact on him. It failed. Jungkook blanky stared through her, hating how fucked and used up she looked now. She disgusted him. She really was only trouble in his mind.
"Taehyung's window is looking on the path. Can I go through the one in your guys' room?" Y/N kept scratching her head, shyly looking down.
"Sure." Both Jimin and Hoseok were of good help.
"Oh, you're being all shy now?" Jungkook's voice stung her. It felt as if she was stabbed. The passive aggressive tension rose with Jungkook's cold tone, quite rude and direct. He kept his eyes fixated on the cereal, taking a few bites as if it was all casual.
Jungkook hated how shy she was acting given her loud moans the previous night. He hated that she was trying to play off her shyness but always fell way too easy for physical touch.
However, as much as it hurt her, she decided to ignore it.
"See you guys." Y/N spoke softly, walking past Jungkook's bed. She hated how this was her first time in his room. Sneaking out at 7 AM on a Saturday morning after fucking his best friend in the room next to his. She really felt bad. And she hated that he was mad.
"See you." Jimin and Hoseok whispered loudly as she jumped in the bushes, sneaking out on a side path to her cabin. Thank god she had the key with her. She tip toed to the cabin door, slowly unlocking the door. She sneaked inside, careful not to wake anyone up. She was so into her own thoughts the previous night that she hadn't even notice Hae being there.
"Hey." Hae's voice made Y/N jump.
"Jesus fuck! What are you doing?" Y/N leaned against the wall in relief.
"I totally forgot you slept over too! God, I hate us." Hae whispered smiling to herself. Her smile flattened very soon. She looked quite down.
"You good, Hae?" Y/N stroked her arm.
"We'll see." She forced a smile out, walking away to her room.
Catching a few more hours of sleep was Y/N's wish too, so to stop overthinking she laid down on her bed and just rested.
And she slept quite heavily.
In fact, Taehyung was woken up by Hoseok shaking his leg.
"Yah, inspection is coming. Put on some pants, idiot." His tone was harsh. Taehyung hated getting up before 12 PM on a Saturday morning, it irritated him.
He stood up, putting on his loose t-shirt and shorts. He stood by the bed, the counselor already checking his room. Jungkook was looking into his room from afar, hating that he'd probably be able to smell her scent inside Taehyung's room.
As soon as the counselor left, the four boys were poisoned by tension in the air. Jungkook was judging Taehyung who was picking on his fingernail, feeling both apologetic and disappointed in himself. The silence went on for a whole minute before Jungkook spoke through his teeth - "You're an asshole."
"I'm sorry! I was tipsy she came onto me I thought you were casual! Yeah you two look suspicious but she really worked me up on purpose! Why is this a big deal? You keep saying you don't like her!" Taehyung raised his voice immediately, his nerves rising.
"I don't know! I would never do that to you, hyung. It just feels shitty. I wish I didn't need to fucking listen to it! I feel like a pathetic creep. And now she fucking hates me and I can't hate her!"
This was probably the most upset Jungkook looked to his friends. They were quite worried for him but decided to let him storm off to his room to calm down. They knew he needed to clear his head since Jungkook always knew how to push away the sensitive side of him. The irrational thinking got him feeling too sad though. Jungkook plopped onto his bed, just wanting to sleep for a couple of more hours. He couldn't wait for Monday to finally start his activities. He hated how self conscious he was becoming about stuff that never caused him to feel that way before.
Jungkook stayed inside his room for the entire afternoon, missing the hiking trip. His friends had to lie to the counselors, saying he felt ill and he needed rest. It threw them off guard once Hae said the same thing about Y/N. The two of them alone at the camp resort was a recipe for disaster. The awkward bumping into each other both of them left their cabins made both Hae and Taehyung's friends worried. The situation was quite nerve-racking.
Y/N stayed at the cabin, still a little bit hungover and tired from last night. She felt so ashamed she didn't want to leave her room, but after feeling that breezy wind come from the open window, she wanted to clear her thoughts. It would be a shame to stay inside on such an enjoyable sunny day.
So, she decided to walk to the dock. She didn't know Jungkook decided to jog around the camp, something he always did when he felt stressed out.
The awkward situation was approaching. Y/N sat at the dock, observing the sparkling lake, her eyes squinting from the strong reflection in the water.
Jungkook's steps were getting louder each second, causing her to turn around.
"What are you doing here?" She raised her voice, making Jungkook almost trip and fall. He didn't notice her, given the sun was narrowing his vision.
He stopped, sighing a bit.
"Well, what are YOU doing here?" He tossed the question right back to her.
Y/N sat in silence for a few seconds until standing up, clearly ashamed and angry at him. She hated how easily she was controlled by him, and thought she fell for his grand master plan. A classic misunderstanding between them.
"Can we talk?" Jungkook softly asked, coming closer to her so she wouldn't walk away. However, she continued walking.
"Why? I don't need your apologies."
"I'm not here to apologize. I'm here to explain." Jungkook's tone was quite direct, kind of off putting to her.
Y/N widened her eyes at his rude tone.
"No, listen to me." He put his hand on her forearm, lightly squeezing it from the desperation he felt.
"You didn't let me explain last night. The truth is, I was terrified. I just, I'm.." As Jungkook tried to find words, Y/N tried her hardest to listen.
"Can we talk somewhere more private?" Jungkook begged.
Y/N wanted to reassure him they were probably entirely alone at the camp, but she decided to let him have it.
"Fine." She sighed and started walking towards her cabin, given it was closer to the dock than his.
Jungkook followed her, his timid steps keeping a distance from her.
The awkward walk towards the cabin was making them both feel so uncomfortable. Both of them were impulsive, and both of them were wrong. Pride is sometimes the downfall of every person, but it was the small voice inside Y/N's head that wasn't budging. She was quite sure that Jungkook really used her for his own good.
Y/N closed the door of her room. Jungkook felt as if he needed to throw up but figured, forcing himself to say it out loud would be the only solution in that moment. He barely managed to do it, but he said it.
"I'm a virgin." Jungkook finally uttered the words out loud, hating that familiar feeling of his chest tightening.
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, sitting down in slight shock.
"That can't be true."
"It is." He continued.
"So, you avoided it last night because you were scared?" She asked him curiously.
"Hey, let's not exaggerate. I wasn't scared." Jungkook was a terrible liar, his tone not convincing her. He sat down next to her, keeping some distance.
"Why? How-? How come?" Y/N really picked her words wisely.
"I never felt the need to advance from foreplay with anyone. I never wanted to lose my virginity at the party. And usually everyone here hooks up at the party." Jungkook spoke more openly, Y/N staying silent as he continued.
"I mean that's how all the guys lost their virginities and stuff. I always just kept with forth base, I guess."
After he finished, he observed what she was going to say with so much focus.
"I get it. Trust me, totally. I just don't understand. Why are you saying this to me? Shouldn't you avoid me like all those girls you never really had sex with in the end?" Y/N raised her eyebrow.
"Because I want to fuck you." He was blunt, his tone sounding quite hot and attractive to her.
"I never really wanted that with any other girl at camp." He admitted, slightly smiling from how ridiculous he felt by saying it.
Y/N sighed.
"I can't do this to you. I had no idea you were a virgin. I can't be your first. I don't want to be." She couldn't stop the stressful word vomit.
She got up but Jungkook pulled her to sit down on the bed.
"Please." Jungkook held her hand, stroking her arm to sit down. She immediately surrendered, sitting down.
"I'm sorry for acting that way. Sorry for saying the wrong thing most of the time. But I like spending time with you. And I like getting physical with you. Can we just have fun like normal people do?" Jungkook softly spoke, his words convincing her. He was happy with the final outcome of the things he wanted to say. It was even better because it was truly sincere.
"I'm sorry I fu-I'm sorry I got with Tae." She looked down.
"Yeah, you're an asshole too for that." He was direct again, sliding next to her so that their thighs were touching.
Y/N rested her forehead against his.
"Do you want to...do this?" He asked.
"Not now right?" She asked in a worried tone. He immediately shook his head.
"But-" She disrupted his happiness for a moment.
"If we keep this friendship strictly sexual, we have to communicate, right?" She smirked, having a plan in mind. Jungkook smirked st her smugness.
"I agree. Do you have anything to get off your chest?" He moved his face closer to hers.
"I want to suck your cock." Y/N kissed the side of his ear and whispered. Jungkook, without a thought, put his hand on her cheek and brought her in for a kiss. His skin was slightly sweaty due to stress and the hotness of the day. The cabins heated up the same way they did. Soon, Y/N was stroking Jungkook's chest. The sun strays that entered the room really made her excited that she could see him in full light, not being able to hide anymore in darkness. His skin was glowing under the direct light. Those details always riled her up.
The sloppy sounds of kissing filled the entire room. Jungkook's soft lips were attached to hers, kissing her quite carefully and slowly. Y/N heated it up by interacting her tongue with his for a little while.
He started grinding his hips into hers, his hardening crotch rubbing against hers.
"You're good." She whispered into his mouth. Jungkook's lips formed into a shy smile.
"You're too." His deep whisper made her shiver. For the first time, they kissed without critiques and unnecessary comments. It was all quite real now. The fact Jungkook got to kiss her again after explaining everything made him exhale with ease.
They continued kissing, the act heavily progressing. Y/N straddled Jungkook's lap, grinding on his lap as they sat on the edge of the bed.
Jungkook skin was incredibly soft under her lips, and he always had a scent of cleanliness, as if he had just got out of the shower. Y/N enjoyed kissing down his neck and collarbones. Before Jungkook could even realize what was happening, Y/N was already kneeling in front of him, pulling down his shorts and underwear. His rock hard length sprung free, eager for her mouth and much more. Y/N's lips wrapped around him, sliding up and down, lacking control he took over.
He slid her mouth and head off his dick only to repeat the same motion moments after.
Jungkook let out a breathy moan, loving the way her mouth was so freely coating his entire cock. He pushed himself into her mouth faster, his grip on her hair tightening every second. His soft breathy groans turned into high pitched moans, totally immersed in pleasure.
“Fuck, Y/N.” He continued repeating over and over again, biting his lip to control his moans. He began having more firmer thrusts into her mouth. As he was thrusting himself inside, Jungkook had thought about how he’d fuck her. He tried to replicate it to her mouth, the thought of it driving the both of them insane. If only the sensation was more vivid and closer to it. He tried to close his eyes and listen to her muffles, imagining the mouth was her tight entrance, but the sensation of the mouth was a bit too different from how her womanhood would feel like clenching around him. But he could only imagine it.
Y/N on the other hand was soaking wet, her pussy yearning for him.
"I’d fuck you like this.” He moaned, pushing himself harder down her throat. He had realized how desperate she was for him to feel her up.
Y/N moaned at the thought, his hips starting to slam into her mouth as she took all of him in, gagging after every few thrusts. 
Tears prickled on the corners of her eyes, the sight of her mouth getting fucked like that was pushing Jungkook close to his edge.
“You're so amazing.“ He stroked her hair for a brief second, fucking himself into her mouth harder. Y/N felt his member twitch inside of her mouth as he took his final look at her cleavage before coming apart.
With a few more sloppier thrusts, his belly clenched and his grip on her hair was becoming slightly too rough. He shot his seed inside her mouth, letting out broken moans of her name out. Jungkook could have sworn he never came that hard in his entire life. He let go of her hair, his dick sliding out of her mouth. Y/N gulped his salty seed and wiped her mouth as he observed her carefully. Still kneeling in front of him, Y/N looked up and giggled, both of them left without words after a heated short lived session.
Jungkook leaned in and kissed her, bringing her up to sit on top of him. He kneaded her thighs, kissing her softly.
"Sorry if I was maybe too rough." Jungkook shyly spoke, nuzzling his nose into her neck.
"No,no. You were great." She smiled, kissing him in reassurance.
"I want to make you feel good." Jungkook spoke, his hand rubbing small circles on her sensitive clitoris over her shorts.
Before they could continue, both of them flinched at the sound of the cabin door opening. The girls were back. Everyone was back from their afternoon trip.
"Fuck, you need to go." She started giggling, rushing him towards the window. Jungkook got up, both of them not exactly knowing why he should run away but the feeling of slight shame and judgement was eating them inside.
Jungkook took one step out the window, kissing her before jumping into the bushes, he almost fell, which made Y/N panic.
"You okay?"
"I think so. See you later." He giggled, sending a smile her way. The knock on her door made her shift her attention from Jungkook who was already sneaking away to his cabin, trying to avoid the group.
"Is everything okay?" Hae was still knocking on her door.
Y/N opened the door.
During that same time outside, Jungkook realized he's been caught.
"Jungkook, what are you doing around here?"
Fuck - Jungkook thought. He knew that voice all too well.
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kimnjss · 3 hours ago
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social butterfly
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— bruised knees from climbing trees, each summer was spent the same. now eight years of nothing have passed and they’re back where they started, forced to navigate through all the heartbreak that comes with seeing each other again in order to make a great summer for their friends.
↲ masterlist
taglist: @agustdef @yoon2k @jaiuneamesolitaiire @amour-quinn @dee-ehn @gldnrecs @hopeworldjimin @preciouschimine @diminieshoe @silentlyimpractical @btsbangtanbois @agustneeds @redluvletmain @tae165 @joontopia @dionysusrage @hellotherehoneybee @certifiedcrazycatlady @morseszn @yoooonie @peachy-tata @lochness-butmakeitsexy @rikisnotforsale @v3nti @namjoonsillegaldimple @hobiismyhopeu @ggukkieland @telepathylftv @kxdrawhl​ @morndas @prdshobi @codeinebelle @rageyoudamnednerd @lil-sracha​ @arya-di-angelo​ @todorokiskitten​ @ayyyocee​ @salty-for-suga​ @stepheboo​ @bloomtilweache​ @taefect94​ @jooniesbanoonies​ @bluewhale52​ @stcrwhiz​ @sweeneyblue1​ @minglossx​ @butterflylion​ @veronawrites​ @immafuckyoutilyouaint1​ @megagrl​
A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!
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btsqualityy · a day ago
Taehyung’s social media
Ignore dates and times.
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shaku1995 · a day ago
Chapter 1 | Confinement
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“I thought we were perfect,
I thought he was perfect
until I saw his body bathed with the blood of people I loved”
Warning: 18+
Genre: Angst,smut,Horror,psychopath, Yandere, Obsession, Toxic Relationship
Published: 20.05.2022
Main Character: Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung, Named OC
I took a deep breath gathering myself to finally spell out the words I have been encouraged by my doctor to accept. The words that were supposed to free me from the deepest darkest shackles of my hideous past, the words which would signify the beginning of a new start.
It was heartbreaking as the image of my house blazing in the fire, crumbling down into nothing but dust played in my mind. My desperate screams of helplessness got stuck on my throat and only beads of droplets dripped down my chin as I watched my entire family burn down in flames right before my eyes.
However, with a final gulp of the inexpressible agony, the words slipped out of my lips as though it was not a gut-wrenching experience a person could ever go through.
"It wasn't my fault" I half-heartedly admitted.
My doctor Suba, who I had grown accustomed to due to countless therapy sessions for my PTSD, gave me a small smile and nodded her head.
"Your loved one will be proud of you. They would want you to let go of the past and move on as well" She leaned forward and gave me an encouraging pat on my thigh.
Despite being in her early thirties, she was one of the reputed psychiatrists in the city and also a friend of my late elder brother, one of the reasons why I choose to go to her.
"Life is like a chocolate box, we never know what we are gonna get, all we can do is expect it to be good" her soft-spoken voice lulled and just by listening to her voice, I felt my body relaxing.
"Forest Gump" she quoted the source of those wise words and I mirrored her smile recognizing the famous movie.
We both stood up from our respective seats and gave each other a hug knowing this was not just the end of the session for the day but the last of our session altogether. In a few days, I would be leaving the town for a fresh start and I would be continuing my therapy from the doctor recommended by her. "Dr Kim Seokjin".
"I wish you all the best for your future" she wished as I held her more tightly grasping that I would miss the person who helped me so much to stay sane.
"Thank you for everything" I sniffed being genuinely grateful for her support.
We chatted regarding my future plans and exited her office when I was welcomed by an angelic face with a soft smile gracing his plump lips. His bouncy golden hair parted with perfection as he glanced at me instantly elevating my mood. As always, he was patiently waiting for me while I got my therapy in order to take me home. Our Home
Park Jimin
He was the person who ensured my survival after the traumatic incident that shattered my world. He was my backbone in this lonely world and even a day without him would make me feel as though I was crippled.
Without any words, he took my hand and after bidding goodbye to my doctor he led me to his car.
"So much shopping to do and stuffs to pack" he exclaimed as we both secured ourselves with the seatbelt.
"I finally got the confirmation from the building management, our rooms are on the same floor so you have nothing to worry about" As he went on I quietly listened to his words and occasionally responded to him with head nods.
It wasn't that I was disinterested in his talk, in fact even Jimin knew I was listening to him with full attention but I no longer was the cheerful and talkative girl I used to be. The glee from my world had faded away and I was simply living the life I was awarded by god after so much bloodshed. The only reason I was willing to wake up in the morning was for the man beside me who loved me more than his life itself.
"Cant we live together?" I questioned him in a low voice since we had been living together for three years, I was completed depended on him so even the thought of being away from him scared me to death.
Following the night of tragedy, Jimin was the one who took me in since I had no one left in the world. My greedy relatives did want me however I was aware they were just behind the inheritance left by my parents so I rejected their offer and held the hand of my friend who I was confident would never let me down.
Ever since I moved in with him, he was in charge of everything in my life and had taken the responsibility to fulfil every hole in my life.
Like a mother, he took care of me, Like a father, he supported me, like a brother he protected me. He bore the burden of my degrading mental health, held me when I had nightmares, and sustained me whenever I had a mental breakdown, therefore, knowing that I would no longer be sharing the same space with him kind of made me feel weary.
"Our university is quite strict when it comes to accommodation, They don't seem to allow both genders to rent the same apartment, so for some time let's manage and after a few months we will search for a place together" He placed his hands over my thigh and rubbed it to ensure everything would be fine eventually and I trusted him for that.
"Since we will be on the same floor, I will always be near you" he was aware of what was bugging me so giving me some reassuring words, he retracted his hand back to the steering wheel.
Trying to understand the situation I bobbed my head. He was already leaving behind his life to accompany me to a new city so that I could start afresh and I couldn't ask for anything more than that. I was more than grateful for the sacrifices he had done for me.
“You will be fine Tiara” he added throwing me a pleasant smile.
Leaning my head against the window plane numbly staring at the scenery that was passing by in a blur. Until Jimin was there, I knew I would be fine. With him beside me, I had started to believe things will slowly get better. To be honest, I had started to become a little hopeful about my future.
I wandered my eyes around my flat in awe. It was quite big for a single person. With a living room, kitchen, one bedroom, and an attached bathroom, the apartment was a luxury for a student.
Luckily it was already well furnished. The person who was renting the room before had agreed to leave the furniture behind if we were willing to pay for them and since it was a lot cheaper and easier than buying new furniture Jimin had happily obliged.
"I am not as lucky as you, I have to refurnish my entire flat" Jimin complained and began to unpack our bag. Until he would buy all of his furniture, Jimin would be staying with me which had brought a sense of relief to me.
"Everything looks so new" I commented running my fingers across the fancy table in the living room with not even a speck of dust over it. Whoever the previous owner was, I should admit his or her taste was vintage and must have been a clean freak.
"Whatever, It was beneficial to us" Jimin gave me a wide cheeky grin and then handed me a towel and body wash gesturing me to go for a wash.
Reluctantly, I dragged my legs to the attached bathroom of my room, which was as huge as my bedroom and began to undress. It was already past 9 pm hence all I wanted to do was sleep but Jimin was always strict when it came to hygiene.
There was a huge mirror directly in front of the bathtub as well as besides making me wonder who the hell must have designed it. As I filled the tub with lukewarm water, I slipped into the tub and then began to relax feeling the warmth of the water doing magic to my sore muscles.
Taking the handful of shower gel, I slowly began to rube it over my body starting from my breasts then slowly moving downwards when suddenly I heard a loud thud coming from somewhere inside the bathroom making me jump a little
"Jimin is that you" I called for him out loud but got no response.
"Jimin!" I called him again but nothing but shuffling noises could be heard.
I don't know why but I panicked. Uneasiness bubbled within me so I quickly rinsed off the soap and wrapped my body with a towel but when I was about to step out of the bathtub the light went off.
"fuck" I whimpered feeling alarmed.
The darkness had completely enveloped me and I was left with nothing but my other sense to guide me towards the door. I slowly and carefully navigated through the darkness, touching the wall when my hand felt something rather soft and warm like a muscle against them rather than a cold marbled wall.
I jerked my hands backwards as my breathing began to pick up the pace.
Someone was there. Even though I couldn't see it, I could feel its eyes on me. My heart shuddered and unconsciously I retracted my steps however due to my wet feet I slipped and fell on my butt with a yelp.
Just like my other senses, my voice was impaired as I tried my best to breathe properly in mid of the crisis my lungs were facing to pump air.
When I was struggling to put myself back together, the light suddenly came back, bringing my sense of vision along with it. With my eyes stretched beyond their limit, I whipped my head left and right however nothing but my reflection could be seen around me.
"Tiara" Jimin knocked on the door and in adrenaline, I rushed to open the door and Jumped into his protective arms with tear-filled eyes.
I was scared. I had no clue what happened in the bathroom but I never felt so crept out in my entire life. I could fill a presence around me. I am not sure of what but there was something in there that I couldn't explain.
"Shush, Babe it's okay" Jimin cooed holding my quivering body as tightly as possible and my voice finally burst out in form of loud wails of desperation.
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magicshopaholic · 16 hours ago
Austin (Taehyung x OC)
Summary: A series of events that lead up to a difficult decision about your future with Taehyung.
Pairing: Taehyung x OC
Genre: Some angst, lots of fluff, hints of smut
Word count: 15 K
Rating: 18+
Warnings: language, jealousy, alcohol, mentions of infidelity and sex, anxiety
A/N: 15 K... is a lot. Having said that, does it make sense to read the fics set prior to this, especially Confessions which takes place a month before this one? Yeah, probably. Is it absolutely essential to enjoy this fic, though? Nope, because this fic can be read standalone.
(But yes, reading Confessions and even The Date will make a lot of sense)
(Also, if you want to be added to my taglist, drop me a comment/ask)
This is part of my submission towards the Bangtan Bingo Spring Event by @bangtanwritingbingo, using my square “Kim Taehyung”.
Listen to: “little giant” by roo panes
taehyung masterlist | main masterlist
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Four weeks after you last met Kim Taehyung, you’re back in London in the apartment you share with Lexie, your closest friend and trainer, and stacking cans of beer into the fridge.
“What are we, hosting an army?” She leans against the door and wrinkles her nose as you open the second six-pack. 
“Nope, just Max Verstappen.”
“Oh. Sounds about right, then. I’m assuming he’ll be crashing here?”
“He certainly thinks so.” When she doesn’t respond, you turn to look up at her. “That’s a yes. After the party at his place in Monaco last year…” You shudder dramatically. “I owe him.”
“Also sounds about right.” Lexie tilts her head before bending and helping you stack the remaining cans, when you hear the front door open. 
“The good-looking one is here,” declares a familiar voice, making Lexie roll her eyes.
“We have got to stop giving out our keys,” she mutters, even though Chris is the only person apart from you two who has one. “Did you bring… is that tequila?” she turns and asks him as he enters.
“Of course. Can’t have a party without tequila.”
“It’s not a party,” you correct him, hoping to manage expectations right off the bat. “It’s six people.”
“It’s always a party if you make it one,” says Chris Park wisely, leading the way into the living room once you’re done with the beer cans. He flops down comfortably on your couch, setting one leg over the other knee. 
“We’ll see,” says Lexie sweetly, a beer already in hand as she takes a seat on the floor, sweeping her long and dark hair over one shoulder. You notice Chris’s eyes following the movement before looking away. “By the way, Max Verstappen is staying over in the guest room, so you’ll have to take the couch.”
Chris looks up blankly. “But… I’m too tall for the couch.”
“That sounds like a you problem.”
“What about Freddie? He’s even taller than me.”
“Oh, he’s bringing a date so I highly doubt he’ll be staying over,” you add when the doorbell rings. Getting up to get the door, the aforementioned fourth member of your group and his date, a pretty blonde who introduces herself as Chiara (“With a C-H, not a K,” she informs you smilingly), enter. Max arrives soon after, and before you know it, the six of you are knee deep in beer and tequila.
You briefly debate calling a few other drivers you know are in London as well but the last thing you want is for this to actually become a party. The last two races were good races for Red Bull, both you and Max having come back from summer break with a renewed sort of fire. Having said that, after spending nearly the whole break with F1 colleagues (and Tae, and Tae), you’re ready for some time apart; except for Max, apparently, but somehow, you tend to forget a lot of the time that he’s an F1 driver, too - and technically your biggest competition. 
Halfway through the night, once everyone’s got a decent buzz going and you’re all draped across the living room, indistinct hip hop playing through the speakers, the topic moves to everyone’s summer break.
“Weren’t you in LA?” Max asks, frowning at me and taking a sip of his beer. “Kelly saw it on Instagram.”
You move away from Lexie where she was taking a selfie of both of you on the floor with your drinks. “Yep, the whole time. Went out there for a little R&R,” you lie smoothly, already having practiced this answer. You’re not really lying, in any case. Omission, you decide, isn’t lying. “Danny’s mansion is gigantic, by the way, for anyone who cares.”
“Yeah, apparently his secret girlfriend was there, too,” comments Chris, not looking up from his phone. When no one responds, he looks up to see everyone staring at him. “Heidi Berger,” he elaborates, looking at Max, famously one of Daniel’s closest friends, whose grin confirms it.
Lexie frowns. “And how do you know that?”
“You got me, I’m a social media whore,” says Chris dryly, reaching for a handful of chips.
“Wow, it must be hard for you guys to have any privacy in your personal lives,” remarks Chiara, not unkindly. “How do you do it?”
“Well, sometimes you go to places where no one really cares about F1,” you suggest, shrugging. “Case in point: Los Angeles.”
“Or you take a page out of Kelly’s book and flaunt it so people eventually stop caring,” says Max, referring to his girlfriend, grinning when Chris and Fred let out identical whoops of approval.
“She’s great, though,” you say honestly, shooting Max an appreciative look. “And her daughter is so bloody adorable.”
“Careful, don’t let your ovaries get ahead of themselves, Komyshan,” warns Chris, comfortably spreading his long legs where he’s sitting on the couch. “You usually need a second person to give you one of those.”
“She might be further along on that track than you think,” comments Lexie, winking when you look at her with wide eyes.
“Really?” Max asks, looking interested. “Is there a mystery man we’ve missed in the paddock? Or mystery men?”
“Speaking of privacy…” mutters Fred, arm around his date’s shoulder.
“Speaking of privacy in California this summer,” adds Lexie slyly, smirking when you slap her thigh, trying to ignore how Chris suddenly frowns deeply.
Fortunately, at that very moment, Chiara suddenly announces that she has to leave. “Oh, I’ll drop you back home,” says Fred immediately. 
“Don’t drive,” you say sharply as they get to their feet. “You’ve been drinking.”
“Calm down, traffic police,” he replies, helping Chiara put on her jacket. “We’ll take a taxi. If we get one this late.”
“End of the lane’s your best shot,” suggests Lexie, waving at them as they leave. The moment the door shuts, Chris turns to me.
“Now that the new girl’s gone,” he begins, a strange smile on his face, like he already knows something, “who is this mystery man that you were with during this specific summer break in California while the VMAs were also going on and a certain world famous k-pop group was in attendance?”
Fuck. You swallow, fingering a loose thread on your cotton shorts. While you and Taehyung had initially met and had your whirlwind romance in Suzuka, Japan last October, the only reason you’d been able to spend all weekend with him was because Chris was in New York and Lexie had been out of commission with food poisoning. She’d more or less guessed that something had happened with you and Taehyung, although her suspicions were very clearly in the mutual attraction and silent crushing territory.
Your tryst in Los Angeles in June this year you’d mentioned to no one, having a strange urge to keep it as private as possible, and it was only when BTS had been spotted in California during summer break and confirmed to have been attending the VMAs that Lexie had finally connected the dots about your coincidental holiday. Of course, by the time she’d finally brought it up with you, Taehyung had dropped his bombshell and, overwhelmed with a truckload of feelings at once, you’d opened your mouth and told her everything about summer break. 
Chris Park, however, seems to have figured out something. You trust him with your life, but you also know that he and Max can be… a little rough around the edges. Truth be told, though, you’re dying to talk to someone other than Lexie about this. Despite the fact that you’ll be bringing more people into the secret of your situation, a man’s perspective is invaluable at a time like this. 
You sigh, looking up. “Um… well, his last name is Kim,” you venture, looking carefully at Chris.
Looking barely surprised, he raises an eyebrow. “His last name is Kim,” he repeats slowly, “... or his first name is Kim?”
You bite your lip. “That depends… on whether or not you’re in Korea.”
“Ah, jinjja,” sighs Chris, running his hands over his face. “Well, she hasn’t changed her lockscreen yet,” he observes, pointing at Lexie beside you and ignoring her as she throws a chip at him, “so I’m guessing it’s not Namjoon. Seokjin isn’t really your type, so… Taehyung?” He gets the pronunciation better than you ever will.
You see it’s completely pointless to try and hide it now, especially when it’s quite clear that all he’s looking for is a confirmation. Looking him directly in the eye, you nod. “Taehyung.”
Max looks thoroughly confused. “Hang on, what’s -” He looks from Chris to me, frowning. “Who are you talking -”
“Okay, look…” You interrupt his blubbering. “You have to keep this to yourself, alright, Max? This isn’t like Danny and Heidi Berger, it’s…” You bite your lip anxiously. “This will affect a lot more people than just me.” When Max nods, expression unchanging, you exhale. “Tae is -”
“Oh, Tae!” exclaims Chris, shaking his head.
“Tae -” You continue loudly, “- is part of BTS, the k-pop group that came to Suzuka last year. We went to their concert, remember?” When Max nods blankly, you continue. “Well, he’s one of the members of that group. And we’re… kind of a - a thing.”
Max frowns, looking rather like he’s processing something. Suddenly, his eyes widen and he claps his hands. “Oh, wait, was he the guy in the towel in your hotel room the day after the concert? The one who invited you backstage?”
“Wait, you hooked up in Suzuka?” Chris sits up, finally dropping his irritatingly knowing expression.
“You went backstage after their concert?” Lexie mirrors Chris’s reaction.
You freeze. “Okay, I’m forgetting how much everyone knows.” Looking at Chris and Lexie, you know they aren’t about to let this go. “Okay, remember how you had food poisoning after eating that bad sushi so you couldn’t come to the concert?” you ask Lexie, who nods suspiciously. “Well, before the concert, they sent me a backstage pass, because we met - briefly - in the paddock that day. That part you know,” you add quickly. “There was a picture of it and everything.”
“Yeah… but that just looked like any paddock picture,” points out Lexie. “There was a similar one of you and Tom Holland, too, Dilara.”
“Yeah, there was nothing going on when the picture was taken. But then we kind of met backstage and then we were living in the same hotel so we…”
“Fucked,” supplies Chris.
“Fell in love,” offers Lexie, expression still stony.
“Hooked up in your changing room?” Max asks suddenly. “Oh, God, I knew I heard something weird!”
“Anyway,” you say loudly, eager to move on, your cheeks heating up, “we said goodbye, said we’d keep in touch or whatever, but I didn’t think we actually would,” you say defensively, even though that isn’t wholly truthful. “But then I met him after a concert they did in LA in June and -”
“Another concert?” Lexie looks ready to throw hands. “Dilara, how could you?”
“I’m sorry,” you say immediately, “but it happened really last minute. I didn’t even get the tickets - Lily did!” When she simply shakes her head and turns away dramatically, you continue gingerly. “Anyway… then Tae told me they were filming something in Monterey at the same time as our summer break, where we…” 
“Fell in love,” repeats Lexie, still scowling.
You shake your head as Chris nods, still somewhat horrified but impressed. “So, you’re… you’re with Taehyung now? That’s pretty cool, actually.”
“Whoa, I’m not - I’m not with him,” you say immediately. “We’re not in a relationship.”
“Nope, just in love. Not a relationship.”
“Lexie,” you hiss, while Chris frowns.
“Are you fuck-buddies?” he asks gently, as though introducing me to a new word.
You stare at him. “No.”
“Friends with benefits,” suggests Max, as though the previous term was too crude for you.
“No… not that either.”
Both men look genuinely bewildered now. Finally, Chris clears his throat. “Wait, when you say ‘in love’...” he asks Lexie, before turning to you, “... have you actually said those words to each other?”
Feeling your cheeks burn, you nod. “Mhm. Quite a few times.”
Max tilts his head. “But you’re not a -”
“A couple? Nope.”
The confused silence is deafening, until Chris asks an intelligent question. “Huh?”
Max shakes his head. “How would that even work?”
“Do they really have a dating ban?”
You sigh, explaining for what feels like the millionth time. “No, it’s not a dating ban. We’re too busy to be together… it doesn’t make sense. This way, we’re just having fun. But we’re not exclusive.”
Chris stares. “You’re not.”
“That’s right. So he can date someone else if he wants and I can date someone else if I want. And he’s cool with it.”
Chris scoffs loudly while Max snorts. “Believe me, he’s not cool with it.”
You give him a look even as your stomach churns uncomfortably. “What, just because you’re Korean too, you suddenly know what he’s thinking?”
“No, it’s because he’s a guy,” points out Max. “If a guy is into you - in any capacity - there is no way in hell that he’s okay with you going out with someone else.”
There’s a moment of silence as everyone processes these wise words, until Lexie finally pipes up. “Yeah, just ask Charlie Puth when he took you to the VMAs.”
Both boys whip their heads to look at Lexie before turning back to you. Chris seems incapable of speech, while Max suddenly throws his hands up in the air.
“Okay, how long was this summer break?”
Sometime later that month, Taehyung texts you out of the blue while you’re out to lunch with your mum. She lives in Manchester now with Rudy, your stepfather, and with your calendar, it’s only every so often that you get to see each other at all. You shoot her a guilty look when you check your phone anyway.
Hey. Call me if you’re free tonight?
You frown slightly. It’s a fairly normal message, but somewhat abrupt. You haven’t spoken since yesterday morning, which was also a hurried conversation of maybe ten texts back and forth before he had to appear for an interview; usually, after a gap like this, he at least begins the message with some sort of endearment or a goofy selfie.
You shake your head and put the phone down, certain you’re overthinking this. When you get home that evening, you ping him once to check if he’s awake. They’re still in Seoul; they’re due to fly to Europe in a few days and spend most of October here - just when you’re leaving Europe for the races in South America - after which they’ll be in the States in November. You have some hope of meeting them there after the US Grand Prix in Austin, Texas, especially since you have a two week break after that before the last race of the year.
Taehyung replies with a Skype link. Trying to ignore the dull thudding of your heart, you open the laptop and click on the link, fluffing your hair out and checking your reflection before entering the call. After a moment of buffering, the most handsome face in the world pops up on your screen, bare-faced and in a grey hoodie, black hair slightly longer and wavy, falling elegantly into his eyes.
You automatically smile and - you’re glad to note - his eyes light up as well. “Hey, love,” he says, voice deep and alluring as always, slightly accented.
You bite your lip, cheeks warm. You don’t know when he started calling you “love”; you suppose he picked it up from you or it’s just something he assumes British people say. Either way, the way he pronounces it makes your heart stutter. “Hey, you. How was your day?”
He shrugs. “Not much,” he answers vaguely. “People seem to like the new single.”
You grin. “How can they not? It’s a great song. I think I’ve heard it, like, twenty times now. It’s going to sweep every award show.”
“I’m sure it will…” He brushes his hair out of his eyes. His face is the smooth, impassive one you’ve seen so many times before, but softer somehow. Combined with the tone of his message earlier this afternoon, you’re suddenly sure he has an agenda for this call.
Deciding to forego any more forced smalltalk, you bite your lip. “Something on your mind, Tae?” you ask gently, trying to ignore how your heart starts racing in anticipation.
He licks his lips, face betraying nothing. “I think -” He pauses, gaze falling momentarily. He blinks, a silent conversation seeming to take place in his head. “I think we should be in a relationship.”
It’s not a surprise. You know it’s been playing on his mind for a while now, maybe for even longer than you’re aware. Asking you this bluntly… well, it’s not ideal, but it’s definitely a very Taehyung thing to do. 
Now, he observes you for your reaction. He looks mildly satisfied with himself for having put it on the table, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair. For a moment, you think the screen has frozen, with how still he is. When he licks his lips again, slowly, you realise he’s expecting an answer.
“Tae,” you say, suddenly reminded of Chris’s reaction when you’d said Taehyung’s nickname in front of him. “We talked about this.”
He nods once. “I’d like to revisit that conversation.”
There’s something strange in the way he’s speaking and the words he’s using. Usually, the more stressful a situation gets or the more annoyed he is, the looser his grasp on the English language becomes. The diction and formal tone of his words makes you think he’s probably rehearsed this conversation. 
You haven’t really changed your mind, but you suppose you owe him at least an open discussion about it. “Okay. Why don’t you start?”
He seems a bit surprised at your response. With a pang of guilt, you realise all his preparation was because he expected you to fight him. Brushing his long hair out of his eyes with one finger, he takes a deep breath before looking up at you, the force of his gaze almost taking your breath away.
“When we went to the aquarium in Monterey,” he begins, “it was the first time in… years that I felt like a normal person. Like someone who isn’t V of BTS.” He pauses. “I don’t get to see my family a lot. Even when I do… my parents are still my parents, but my siblings are very young. Most of my high school friends knew me as a trainee, and everyone else knows me only as V.”
You bite your lip. “I knew you as V, too,” you say softly, not wanting to openly disagree with him.
He nods. “I know. And if we didn’t live in the same hotel in Suzuka, it would’ve probably stayed that way.” A small smile appears on his face and you know what he’s thinking, how every memory of that weekend feels like it’s out of a dream. “I don’t feel like V of BTS with you,” he says after a moment, his smile fading. “That day we spent in Suzuka… we were in the middle of nowhere and I still don’t ever remember having that much fun, with anyone. I felt… I felt young again. Like everything I missed out on was worth it if it meant I could do it with you.”
The first thing that automatically comes to your mind is that he’s still young, still in his mid-twenties. He’s also deliberately ignoring certain things, like the fact that he still has tons of friends and is in no shortage of fun. You don’t know how to respond, though, not when the songwriter inside Taehyung springs forth like this. You know he gets a kick out of the tiny theatrics and the drama, and if you’re being honest, his deep voice saying those words is making your heart zoom. But mundane and realistic issues like schedules and fans suddenly sound ridiculous when he’s talking about his existential awakenings while being with you.
Fortunately, he takes that upon himself. “I know you’re worried about how much we travel and how it won’t work,” he guesses, his voice taking on a less narrative quality and a more normal tone. “But I think we can work that out. I think we can work out anything.”
His confidence almost convinces you for a moment. But you know that’s not all it is. “It’s not just that, Tae,” you say in a low voice, hating rejecting him like this. “We’ve got such a good thing going. The moment we get together, the distance, the fans, the pressure… all of that will suddenly become centre stage. And what if it doesn’t work? What if…” You trail off, unable to put your exact worries into words.
“So what are we doing instead?” Taehyung asks. “Meeting every few months, hanging out for a few days until…” He shrugs and shakes his head, indicating that he has no idea.
“I don’t know. Until we…” You really, really wish he wasn’t making you say this. “Until one of us meets someone else, I guess?”
“Okay, I’m going to stop you right there,” he says, and for the first time, there’s a hint of irritation there. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to meet anyone else.”
You sigh. “I know you think that but we’re only in our twenties. You never know when -”
“Okay, I’ll put it another way,” he interrupts, leaning forward in his chair slightly. “This person that I might meet that will make me rethink us? That’s you. I’ve already met you. If I was dating someone right now, you would be the person making me rethink that relationship.” Taehyung sits back again, arms still crossed, features smoother than ever. “You’re it for me.”
For a moment, you almost give in. It occurs to you that the chances of you meeting someone else who can even compare to Taehyung, let alone surpass him, are negligible. Even Alex Turner, whom you’d had a crush on all through your junior driving years, couldn’t make you forget him, even in your most intimate moments. It doesn’t help, though, reflecting on this. All it does is make the prospect of a relationship with him even more daunting.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do,” he says stubbornly. “You’re worth all the crazy calendars and fans and secrecy and everything. Also,” he continues, “we don’t have to go public, you know. This is just for us.”
You don’t know how he manages to do this, how he makes you feel so loved and so desired, all while asking you for the one thing you’re unwilling to give him. “That’s… that’s not -”
“Or is there someone you have in mind?” Taehyung’s eyes narrow slightly. “Are you… ugh, what’s the word?” he mutters, looking away in frustration, and you realise the discussion is getting away from him. “Do you want to be with someone else?” he asks finally, giving up. “Because if that’s the case, then that’s a whole different conversation. If you feel like you can do better, then I’ll -”
“Tae, you know that’s not it.”
He ignores you. “- or if it’s about keeping your options open or whatever, then I don’t know what we’re doing or where we’re -”
“Tae, I think you can do better,” you interrupt him, a strange sense of relief going through me at finally, finally saying it out loud to him. “Okay? I’m not Korean, I don’t speak the language, I live on a different continent, I’m in the most male-dominated sport in the world, I work out five times a week, I live on coffee and alcohol, I’m addicted to video games and prefer doing that on a Saturday night than meeting people,” you list, your voice strangely calm. “Long-term, it won’t make sense. You can - you can really do better.”
Somewhere behind him, you hear voices and a faint thud that sounds like a door. Taehyung says nothing, his eyes narrow and boring into you. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he looks pissed. His silence is worse than anything, and you wonder if somewhere you’ve struck a kernel of truth, forcing him to look beyond the song he’s writing in his head about the two of you.
Just when you’re starting to wonder if this Zoom call is going to end in a stare-off, Jeon Jungkook’s face pops up on the screen. “Dilara! It’s so good to see you!”
You tear your focus away from Taehyung and force a smile onto your face. “Hey, JK, it’s good to see you, too,” you say, somewhat honestly. “How’ve you been? Getting enough sleep?”
“Sleep, schmeep,” he says dismissively. “Guess what I got?” He pulls out his phone and types something before turning the screen towards me, moving it up to the laptop camera. Squinting, you see the vague shape of a red F1 car.
“You got Real Racing 3?”
“Yes!” He grins toothily, looking thrilled. “Do you have an account? Are you free to play tonight?”
You can’t help but laugh, even as you notice Taehyung rolling his eyes on the side of the screen. “Yeah, I have an account. And I can play tonight, but won’t it be too late for you guys?” you ask, trying to include him in the conversation as well.
“No, only the rap line needs to go to the studio tomorrow morning,” answers Jungkook immediately. “We’re free until lunch.” He waves his phone, grinning again. “Are you trying to avoid getting beaten in a car game?”
You scoff, the competitive side of you emerging instantly. “In your dreams, Jeon. And unless you can drive my actual car better than me, I’m not beaten.”
His grin turns into a smirk and he crosses his arms across his chest, tattoo sleeve visible under his white t-shirt. He and Tae are in identical poses but their expressions couldn’t be more different. “Let’s go, Komyshan.”
Just then, someone says something off camera and both their heads turn towards the voice in unison. Jungkook turns back and says something to Taehyung in Korean, who nods shortly, before they both turn to the laptop. “Dilara, we have to go,” says Jungkook, waving. “Jimin hyung’s doing a vlive and we promised Hobi hyung we’d help him, uh… gatecrash?”
It sounds exactly like the kind of thing they’d do, and you don’t miss how Taehyung involuntarily snorts. “I get it. Tell Jimin I’m gatecrashing in spirit.”
Jungkook grins and gives me a thumbs up, tactlessly waiting for Taehyung to go with him. The latter turns to the laptop and there’s a pregnant pause, neither of us knowing the closure to our discussion. “I’ll text you later,” he says finally, softly.
You nod. “Have fun.” You get one last glimpse of his handsome face before the call ends and the screen goes dark.
True to his word, he does text you later that night, just after you’ve finished your cardio for the evening. It’s a selfie, but not one of his usual silly ones. It’s a normal one, with a shadow of a smile, Jimin and Hoseok slightly blurred in the background as though they appeared at the last second.
Me [20:24]
I take it the gatecrashing went well?
Jeon Jungkook announced his plans to play that racing game with you all night to millions of armys.
Me [20:24]
By name???
Tae [20:25]
No. But the members suddenly remembered they didn’t congratulate you on last week’s race.
Me [20:25]
Haha, that’s alright. JK did though.
Tae [20:26]
He’s started watching the races. I think he’s trying to figure out which team to support. 
Me [20:26]
Umm, here’s a hint: Red Bull?? The team I’ve dedicated my life to? The one with the first ever female driver and child prodigy ie Max Verstappen?
Tae [20:27]
You are the driver he’s supporting, but I don’t think he’s the biggest fan of Max.
Me [20:28]
Hm. Max is an acquired taste. Next race is the Netherlands and it’s just going to be a whole weekend of people celebrating Max’s very existence.
Tae [20:29]
Is it bad that I’m jealous he gets to spend more time with you than I do?
Me [20:30]
Believe me, the time I spend with him is NOTHING like the time I spend with you.
Tae [20:30]
Fuck, I miss you.
Me [20:31]
You want to video call before you go to sleep? We can spend a little more time together.
Tae [20:31]
Yes. I’ll call you when I’m in bed. Can’t wait, baby. Love you.
Me [20:32]
Love you too, Tae. See you then.
The situation is now more precarious than ever, but it doesn’t stop either of you from pretending the exact opposite. You don’t talk about it again, not in this much detail at least, but you know it’s still playing on his mind from his offhand comments and next level flirting. It makes you nervous and excited at the same time, but you can’t help but be afraid that if it goes too far, you might end up blowing up at each other like the night of the VMAs.
The group is scheduled to appear at the US Grand Prix in Austin, though; you don’t know if it’s because Samsung is a Red Bull sponsor or Taehyung begged them to add it or Jungkook did or what - but a week prior to the race, Taehyung video calls you at four am in London to tell you that he’ll be seeing you soon. Even your annoyance at being woken up so unceremoniously can’t compare to the joy of seeing him again; you honestly didn’t think you’d get a chance to see him again before the end of the year. This time, though, you promise Lexie that you’ll introduce her as well. The days after the revelation in your apartment had been a nightmare.
“Lex, there will be more concerts,” you implored as she sulked on your way out of the gym after a gruelling two hours which, you were now certain, she deliberately put you through. “It was just one, and backstage wasn’t as cool as it’s made out to be.”
“You went with Max!” she exclaimed, not even looking at you. “He wouldn’t have appreciated it for a second, not to mention - Lando!” She scoffed. “You don’t even really like him that much!”
“It’s true,” you agreed, “but I didn’t even know they were joining us. I really did think it would be just Alex and Lily. And you were sick, Lex.”
“And you never even told me that you and Taehyung got together after the concert,” she huffed, ignoring your last comment. “We’re supposed to tell each other this stuff.”
“Oh, really?” You placed your hands on your hips. “You mean like you told me how you and Chris fucked in Monaco this year?”
Her head whipped around, eyes wide. “How did you know about that?”
You grimaced. “I saw you. It was our hotel room and you guys weren’t exactly hiding, you know.”
“I - but, we -” Lexie sputtered, apparently at a loss for words. “That is completely different!”
“How?” you asked incredulously. “Two of my best friends hooking up isn’t as big a deal as me hooking up with Tae?”
“No,” she answered immediately. “You and Taehyung are in love,” she stated, and it was impossible to miss the slight longing in her voice. “Chris and I -” She shook her head. “We were a mistake. We were drunk and stupid and horny.”
“But you guys seem normal.”
“Yeah, because we both agreed the next morning that it was stupid. It meant nothing.” Lexie swallowed, holding up a finger. “Which brings me back to you and Taehyung. I mean, you guys have been together for, like…” She stopped, calculating. “... nearly a year now?”
“Doesn’t really count,” you pointed out. “We didn’t think anything would really happen after Japan. It’s really only been a few months. I even dated Alex for a bit, remember? We fucked at the same party that you and Chris -”
“Got it.” Lexie shook her head again. “I remember thinking Alex would’ve been a beast in bed.”
“He was alright,” you said vaguely, trying instead to hide the smile and blush when you privately though that he was hardly the best you’ve ever had. Evidently, your expression spoke volumes, for Lexie narrowed her eyes.
“Taehyung’s better?” she asked, eyebrows raised.
“When you say beast…”
A grin flitted across her face. “That good?”
“Earth-shattering. Believe me when I say I limped back to London this summer.”
She observed you, leaning back against the doorframe of your apartment. “Do you really love him?”
The answer was easy. “Yeah, I do.”
She sighed. “Then why aren’t you with him? I’ve honestly never seen you happier, D. Don’t you want him to be your boyfriend? Just yours and no one else’s?”
Your heart skipped a beat. Just yours and no one else’s. You would be lying if you’d said you’d never thought about it; being affectionate with him without worrying if you were crossing a line, not being constantly afraid that he’d find someone else every time you left him. More than anything, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that Kim Taehyung - long hair, deep voice, dorky dancer in the privacy of his room, beast in bed - was yours - and that he wanted you to be his - was heart-wrenching to turn away from.
“I’ll fall too hard for him.” You didn’t know where the words came from, but you knew the instant they did that they were true. “I’m already in too deep but if I have him, if we’re together…” You swallowed. “There’s too much that can go wrong. I don’t know how I’ll get over him.”
Lexie frowned, looking genuinely confused. “So this is better? Walking on eggshells, rejecting him, waiting for him to meet someone else?”
The honest answer was yes. All of the things she’d mentioned were awful, but they were still nothing compared to the heartbreak of losing him. “I can’t lose him if he’s not mine,” you said, and to that, Lexie had nothing to say.
All these things weighed on your mind for the next couple of weeks. They began taking a backseat, though, the closer you got to Austin, the focus going back to training and spending hours on the simulator. 
Somehow, the news of BTS scheduled to appear at the race becomes public information, and the one official picture taken of you and the group in Suzuka last year with Max and Christian Horner, is suddenly floating around the internet in different Army forums. You don’t know if it’s the presence of a female in the same air space as the group or what, but you notice a sudden uptick in your Instagram followers and. Along with that, Jungkook’s new obsession with Real Racing 3 is suddenly getting deconstructed, and some particular facial expression than Namjoon made a year ago in the paddock is analysed to the death. You try to ignore it, but the entire situation makes you uneasy.
The most frustrating of all, though, is when you, Daniel, Max and Charles Leclerc, another driver, do a live gaming session on Twitch, which is gets the highest views of any Twitch session ever done by a group of drivers. Overnight, there’s a sudden rumour, possibly started by some delusional fans, who swear that they can see signs of Daniel and you possibly being a thing, based on random eye contact and facial movements. 
Your first reaction is to text Taehyung about it, making sure to mention it only casually that some people have a ridiculous idea about you and Daniel, based on basically nothing. His reaction is surprisingly relaxed; it’s five laughing emojis and a mock-angry selfie, followed by a dramatic declaration to make it clear to the world and Daniel Ricciardo that you’re his and no one else’s.
His words send a pang through your heart, and you realise it’s because you like it. You joke back, trying not to let on how much you like it, asking him what exactly he’ll do to prove it to the world.
Tae [00:04]
Whatever it takes.
You can just picture his small smirk as he sends it. Shaking your head, you flirt back, wholly self indulgent at this point.
Me [00:05]
But I need to know. What if Danny tries to fight you for me?
Taehyung takes a minute to reply this time.
Tae [00:07]
He can try. But he seems like a decent guy. The type to not go after someone else’s girlfriend?
Me [00:07]
Subtle, Tae ;)
Tae [00:08]
I told you I wouldn’t give up.
Me [00:09]
You really want it that bad?
Tae [00:09]
You? More than anything. 
Your heart skips a beat and you need to grip your phone so that it doesn’t fall onto your face. You turn and flip around onto your stomach, pulling your tank top up slightly where it’s ridden down your chest. 
Me [00:11]
What if it doesn’t work out?
Tae [00:11]
What if it does?
He doesn’t need to ask. Recently, you find yourself thinking increasingly of the same, of the good sides of being in a relationship with Taehyung. It occurs to you properly for the first time on your birthday, just a couple of days before this year’s race in Suzuka, where you celebrate in Japan with the rest of the Red Bull team and Lexie. 
Obviously, as much as you would’ve liked to see Taehyung on your birthday, you know it isn’t possible. The boys are swamped with PR and rehearsing for performances, while you’re training harder than ever to ensure Red Bull inches out Mercedes in the constructors’ championship. 
Most of the group message you on your birthday, though. Jimin video calls you, with Jungkook joining in and Namjoon popping in momentarily to wish you. Taehyung calls you later, but since you’re in the paddock when he does, you have to make do with a normal call while he’s boarding a flight, talking in hushed tones until he has to take off.
“Happy birthday, love,” is how he ends it, voice soft and deep. Your guess is he’s trying not to be heard by the others. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Not for another month,” you point out, not even caring for once how whiny you sound. “I miss you.”
There’s silence on the other end for a moment. “I miss you, too,” he says eventually. “All the time.”
You clutch the phone to your ear a little tighter. There is a heaviness in his voice, like he wants to say so much more but is holding himself back. You want, in that moment, more than anything, to know what he is thinking. “Do you realise it’s just over a year since we first met?” you ask him, turning to lean back against the wall of the Red Bull enclosure.
“Yeah,” he answers after a moment. “You looked so small and cute among all those tall people," he says and you can hear the smile in his voice. 
Your smile is wider, even as you scoff. "That smallness is the only advantage I have in my race car, you know. Over all those tall and far stronger people?"
“Yeah, I know. You started stuttering the moment you saw Jimin,” he recalls, and you feel your cheeks get hot. “It was adorable. I couldn’t look away.”
“Really? Because you barely said a word to me that day. Or that night. Not until you had me alone in that balcony,” you add, only slightly annoyed at the memory.
Taehyung chuckles. "I was nervous.”
“You performed for twenty thousand people that night,” you point out.
“Yeah, but I didn’t have a crush on any of those people,” he replies casually, evidently unaware of how your heart soars. “You had me in the paddock,” he says, almost as though he’s just realising it himself. You can almost picture him shrugging. “It was the first time I believed that love at first sight could be an actual thing."
Your heart stutters. Songwriter Taehyung is here, and you suddenly feel out of your depth. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I think.” You bite your lip, because in the most romantic recesses of your heart, you do. “I still wish you’d said something to me, though. Although I guess that was part of your charm,” you guess, trying to divert the conversation from where you’re sure it’s headed. “You came there all sexy and mysterious - you knew exactly what you were doing."
To your relief, he laughs. "I did, a bit." He pauses."I hated leaving you that weekend."
"Yeah, that one was the hardest," you agree softly. “Until Los Angeles in June. And then Los Angeles in August,” you add, rolling your eyes.
“You know, I almost asked you to come with us on tour?” Taehyung confesses, almost as though he hasn’t heard you. He sounds a bit hesitant, as though unsure whether to reveal this to you or not. “But I knew it couldn’t happen.”
“I would’ve loved to, though,” you reply wistfully. “Even though I couldn’t have.”
You stay on the phone for a couple more minutes until he has to switch his off. You don’t go back inside for a bit, though. You look out onto the paddock in the rare Japanese sun in October, almost able to point out the exact spot where you and Taehyung met for the first time. You’d locked eyes, and you were hooked. Love at first sight… he’d felt it too, clearly.
All of a sudden, you miss Taehyung terribly. It hurts your chest, knowing he’s so far away, waiting for the next time you can see each other. In a moment of intense longing, you log onto Instagram, hoping to scroll through some pictures or videos of him since you’ve basically exhausted everything in your own gallery. After a few fan edits from Run and some of their MVs, something strange catches your eye.
At first glance, judging from the soulful EDM soundtrack and the slow motion movement of Taehyung during some k-pop award show, you assume it’s one of those “boyfriend” videos. However, the next moment, instead of a band member appearing, it’s another beautiful k-pop idol - from a girl band.
You squint. You haven’t the faintest who she is; your interest in Korean music is largely on the hip hop and R&B side, courtesy Chris, and very few female artists are a part of that sector. This one, though… she’s tall, thin and beautiful, just like every other female k-pop idol. You consider scrolling through the comments to find out who she could be but for some reason, you can’t tear your eyes away from the video.
It’s nothing, essentially; just a series of unrelated moments where Taehyung and the idol are caught in the same frame a couple of times. If you’d seen it in person, you wouldn’t have thought about it twice. But the fact that someone went through the trouble of making a video of it… you feel a pit of jealousy firing up in your stomach - or what you think is jealousy, anyway. Somehow, it’s different, with less anger and more fear. It occurs to you then that for all you know, they had been a thing or maybe even still are - and you can’t do a thing about it.
You can’t dwell on it much, for you have to rush back into PR for the day. You do manage to put it successfully at the back of your mind, with the only lingering impact being that you’re slowly starting to lose your resolve when it comes to Taehyung’s desire to officially be together.
When you finally see him in Austin, the excitement in you is unparalleled. As usual, they end up in the same hotel with three penthouse suites reserved for them - pointless, in your opinion, as all of them essentially end up hanging around in the living room of one suite the whole time.
You take Lexie with you this time to their room, more or less confident that she’ll be okay. She’s far more outgoing than you and in any case, the first time you’d met the members, they’d been extremely open and welcoming. To be completely honest, you have no choice but to assume that she’ll be okay because within ten minutes of reaching their suite and greeting everyone, you and Taehyung sneak away to the suite he’s sharing with Seokjin and Hoseok and fuck on the dining table, too desperate to even make it to the bed.
When you unabashedly slink into the main suite, trying to ignore Jungkook’s blush, Jimin’s grin and Namjoon’s roll of the eyes, everyone’s put on a movie and you join them as casually as you can. While you’re cuddled on the recliner behind everyone else, you get a text from Lexie, pestering you once again about saying yes to Taehyung. It evolves into a full-fledged discussion where she comments on how cute you two look cuddled up and you try to get her to understand that you know, even bringing up the Chris situation again.
She doesn’t take the bait, though, and just shoots you a look from across the room. You shake your head, making a show of deliberately putting your phone down and cuddling further into Taehyung’s chest. He automatically tightens his arms around you, his familiar scent of baby lotion and faint cologne making your heart zoom. You’ve really missed each other; most of the movie is spent whispering and sharing soft kisses which eventually moves to snogging and heavy petting underneath your clothes in the darkness. The credits thankfully start rolling just when he starts palming your core under your joggers, because you know you’re incapable of being quiet in situations like these.
“Timing sucks, huh,” he says quietly, lips brushing the shell of your ear.
“I think it’s great,” you reply, kissing him quickly before getting off his lap, grinning at his narrowed eyes. Since it’s nearly midnight, you and Lexie decide to head out. There’s a moment where everyone seems to expect you to stay, but you know you can’t, so you play it off nonchalantly, citing a race weekend.
Thankfully, Taehyung seems to understand. “Get some sleep,” he says, kissing you casually on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow in the paddock.”
On the way back to your shared room, Lexie keeps up a string of constant encouragement to get you to say yes to Taehyung until you finally get to the room and, abruptly, she shrugs.
“You know what?” Lexie reaches into her suitcase and retrieves an oversized New York Giants t-shirt, sighing. “You’re right. You know your relationship better than I do. So if you think it’s a bad idea…” She shrugs. “Then you’re probably right.”
You frown, not expecting this sudden change of heart. “What’s happening?” you ask suspiciously. “Are you trying some reverse psychology shit on me?”
She gives you an unimpressed look as she heads to the bathroom, stripping her t-shirt on the way. “Calm down, Nancy Drew. I’m just saying, you looked happy today. So if you think this thing you’re doing is genuinely better than dating, I have no reason not to believe you.”
You stand there, motionless, trying to decipher what she means, what her game is. Eventually, you give up, getting into bed and answering Taehyung’s goodnight text before going to sleep. Friday’s free practice sessions go about as well as expected, followed by Saturday’s qualifying round. You and Max qualify on P2 and P1 respectively; Max inches you out by four-thousandths of a second and the team couldn’t be happier with your performance.
You decide to stay in Austin for another couple of nights after the race tomorrow so that you and Taehyung get some time together before you need to head back to London and he needs to continue on his press tour. On Saturday night, you meet him back in his suite after dinner. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, frowning at your wince when you walk in where he’s watching something on the TV. Thankfully, he seems to be alone.
“Yeah,” you say tightly, crawling up to him on the couch and kissing him. “Just period cramps.”
“Oh.” Taehyung goes quiet, silently observing you as you curl up next to him, automatically placing an arm around you and pulling you close. It’s the first time you’ve had your period when you’ve been together and you wonder if he’s ever really had the time to be with a girl while she’s been in the same situation.
Almost like he’s reading your mind, he speaks up. “Do you need something? Hot water bottle or ice cream or…” He shrugs awkwardly when you look up at him, slightly amused. “My ex-girlfriend used to eat a lot of ice cream when she had cramps. Said the sugar helped.”
“When was this?” you ask, interested.
“Um…” He looks away and squints, trying to remember. “Around three or four years agp? Didn’t work out.”
“Why not?” 
“She wanted to go to college with a… like a - a clean slate.” Taehyung shrugs, not seeming too bothered by it but it takes him a moment before he can meet your eyes again. “We met in high school and she was two years younger than me. I think we dated for a few months before she decided that dating a “celebrity” -” He puts the words in air quotes “- was too much for her.”
“Wow.” You process it for a moment. “It’s hard to picture you that long ago. And yes, I know there are pictures and videos and whatnot,” you add quickly, pre-empting his response, “but…” You reach up and kiss him, a little longer than before, “I prefer the grown up version.”
Taehyung grins. “I definitely do a lot of grown up things with you,” he murmurs, leaning over you until you’re on your back and lowering his head to kiss your neck.
You giggle but immediately groan and wince, a sudden stab of pain shooting through your abdomen.
“Shit, what did I do?” Taehyung immediately gets off you, eyes wide. “Lara, seriously, are you okay?”
“It hurts like a bitch, so, no, I guess,” you say through gritted teeth, slowly sitting up. “I should go to bed. Sleep it off.” You sigh. “Hopefully it won’t hurt as much tomorrow.”
He raises his eyebrows. “You’re still going to race?”
You scoff. “Do you guys skip a concert because of a headache? My period coincides with a race weekend for half the calendar,” you inform him, shaking your head. “I’ll just take a painkiller or something.” You stand up, wincing, but Taehyung grabs your hand to stop you.
“But you just got here,” he whines, looking ridiculously adorable. “Stay a bit longer?”
Despite the pain, you can’t help but smile. “I can’t, baby. I have to get enough sleep before tomorrow and these stupid cramps are going to make that hard enough as it is.” You pinch his soft cheek as he pouts. “I just came to say hi, get some comfort. Some luck?” You add teasingly.
He smirks, but there’s a softness to it. “I comfort you?”
You frown. “Of course, you do. What do you think?”
“Then why -” He stops abruptly, shaking his head and standing up. “Forget it. Come here,” he says instead, holding out his arms and wrapping them around you when you walk into them. “Good luck for tomorrow, love,” he says affectionately, holding you tight. “You’ll be fantastic, I know it. And drive safe, okay?”
You nod, sinking into the shape of him and hugging him back, smiling into his t-shirt. “I will. You’ll be watching?” You ask even though you know the answer, just wanting to be indulged a little bit.
You feel him nod and kiss the top of your head. “The whole time, from the Red Bull garage.” He pulls away and ruffles your bangs lightly. “And then we’ll have two whole days to ourselves.”
“Can’t wait.” With a quick kiss to his lips, you head out.
The next day, the pain hasn’t disappeared entirely, but it’s at least dissolved into a state of solid discomfort as opposed to full-on agony. The weather is freezing as usual, and everyone arrives in the paddock in multiple layers, hands shoved into pockets and faces tilted up gratefully towards the sun. You spot the band arrive a little later while you’re warming up inside your changing room, already in your race suit with the top hanging around your waist, the door ajar while old school hip hop plays from Lexie’s Bluetooth speakers as part of your race day playlist.
Jimin pokes his head in, clearly having heard the music before Namjoon and Yoongi pull him back out since in public, you don’t have anything other than a tangential and professional relationship with the group. All of them grin as they walk past, though, most of them making eye contact with both you and Lexie, Hoseok’s gaze lingering just a second longer on her. Taehyung is right at the end with Jungkook, and he winks as he catches your eye.
You and Lexie head out after that and she drifts off towards Chris and Fred, both of whom have joined you for this race, while you go over to say hi to Christian and get some race day pep talk out of the way before the stress inevitably settles in. It’s not fun, the latter. You love racing, being out in the car, driving at inhuman speeds, winning. But this… knowing that the team is relying on you and Max, that the drivers you consider your friends are, today, just your competition - it’s an uncomfortable pressure. 
Most of all, though, knowing that Max Verstappen, generational talent of the sport, guaranteed future world champion, and possibly your closest friend out of the drivers is your biggest competition - that’s nerve-wracking.
You try to focus, however; the pressure will come eventually, but after all, dealing with that is part of the sport. That’s what Lexie is here for, apart from keeping you physically fit. She knows how to keep you mentally steady - and that includes leaving you alone when you need to be. Austin isn’t the most challenging track, but it’s one of the biggest, and you’re suddenly so glad that Chris and Fred decided to join you, too. 
Turning around, you peer into the back of the garage from where you’re standing, hoping to spot them. You can hear them; Lexie’s sexy, husky laugh which is followed by… you think it’s Namjoon’s voice. Stepping away from the mechanics who are doing a last-minute check on your car, you try to get a better look, only to see Lexie and Fred standing with Jungkook and Namjoon. A few feet away from them stands Chris Park with Seokjin, Yoongi and Hoseok, all three of them guffawing at something, mouths moving but looking too foreign to be English.
It makes your heart strangely warm to see it. Truth be told, you’d been slightly wary of introducing your friends to the group - or at least Taehyung - for the sole reason that if they didn’t get along, your already fragile relationship with Taehyung would disappear entirely, leaving you to split your precious few free weeks in the year between him and your friends. But this… it’s not much, but it’s better than you could have hoped for. 
That is, until you actually spot him.
“So which one’s your boyfriend?”
You almost jump out of your skin. “Jesus Christ, Max,” you exclaim, trying to catch your breath. “I don’t have a boyfriend, remember?”
“Oh, sure,” he snickers, throwing an arm loosely over your shoulder and joining you in observing the garage. “That’s why you’ve been staring at him flirting with Julia for the last two minutes,” he says in a low voice, sounding annoyingly smug.
“I haven’t - what are you -” You can hear yourself stutter and you cringe, immediately averting your eyes from the offending image but unable to for long. “I’m not staring,” you mutter, “and he is not flirting,” you add forcefully, somewhat confident that you’re right as you watch Taehyung, with Jimin standing next to him, be his usual charming self with Julia McCredie, a tall and pretty British brunette with expressive eyes and a melodious voice. There’s no way he’s flirting…
“If you say so.”
You look up at him, raising an eyebrow. “Trying to psych me out before a race, Verstappen?” you ask, thankfully sounding nonchalant but feeling your heart rate go up nevertheless.
“Me?” He gives you an innocent smile. “Never.”
“Good. Because if I were you, I’d be less worried about my love life and more about the clutch you weren’t able to release on time during FP on Friday.”
“Touche.” He grins and steps back, raising his hands in a peace gesture as he heads out. “I’ll leave you to it, Komyshan.”
You smirk and nod, but the moment he’s out of eyeshot, you feel your smile falter. You glance at Taehyung again, trying to be subtle. He’s not flirting, not really… he’s smiling and she’s… well, she’s blushing, but that could be for Jimin, too, couldn’t it? Or maybe she’s a K-pop fan, too. Or maybe -
Before you know it, you’re walking towards them. “Hey, Julia, do you know what time the drivers’ parade begins?” The question is out of your mouth before you can think about it and you realise only a moment later that you’ve interrupted. Next to her, her colleague Anne-Marie Horbass frowns and looks up at the boys, as though just noticing something.
Julia, who was mid-sentence, stops abruptly. Her perfectly lined eyes go wide and she immediately checks her phone for the schedule before informing you that it starts in a half hour, and that she needs to go prep the media pen. From the corner of your eye, you can see Jimin with his head lowered, clearly trying to hide a smile and you know he at least knows why you’re here.
You swallow and toss your hair back slightly, smiling as Julia waves to everyone and departs. You turn around slowly, your cheeks slowly heating up. “Sorry, I hope I didn’t interrupt,” you apologize, only half-meaning it. 
“It’s alright.” Taehyung’s smile - no, his smirk - instantly makes your heart thud. He licks his lips and looks at the ground before looking back up at you. “When do you need to go for the drivers’ parade?” he asks.
“Not for a while,” you answer, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. Fortunately, next to you, Anne speaks up.
“I should go, too, actually,” she says slowly, the slight German accent sounding jarringly different to the Korean one. “Good luck, Dilara,” she says, smiling and squeezing your arm before hurrying away in the same direction as Julia, leaving you alone with Taehyung and Jimin.
For a moment, none of you speak. Jimin is practically red in the face as he tries not to laugh, while Taehyung just bites his lip and suppresses a smile, looking incredibly amused. Finally, you roll your eyes. “Alright, let’s move on, shall we?”
Jimin just bursts out laughing, doubling over dramatically while his blond hair frames his angelic face. Taehyung evidently tries to rein it in a bit more before he snorts and covers his face, shoulders shaking with laughter.
You watch in horror. “Jesus Christ, was I really that obvious?” you ask, head whipping around, hoping to see Julia or Anne somewhere as both boys continue guffawing in what you personally feel is an overreaction. 
“Lara, you were… so cute,” he eventually says, shaking his head and still laughing.
“Shhh!” you hiss, glaring at him. “Netflix is filming every race, and they have mics and cameras everywhere. And you,” you whisper furiously, nudging Jimin’s shoulder, “stop laughing!”
“You were so jealous!” he crows, eyes just slits now and his smile essentially lighting up the entire garage - but you can’t be bothered to appreciate it at the moment. “Jinjja, Dilara, how can you say you’re not a couple when you basically pushed -”
“Shhh!” This time both you and Taehyung interrupt him, and Taehyung immediately slaps his hand over his best friend’s mouth. Over their shoulders, you can see Namjoon frowning at your small group. “Shit, Namjoon’s looking over here,” you mutter in a low voice, and both their smiles fade. They immediately straighten up and wipe the smiles off their faces, being overly nonchalant when Namjoon casually walks over, deliberately giving you a polite, formal smile before muttering something to them in Korean.
Jimin replies and Taehyung slaps his shoulder, which only makes the blond laugh again. “Alright, it was really nice talking to you,” you say loudly in English, glaring at them, “but I need to go.” Giving Taehyung a last look with narrowed eyes which only makes him grin even wider, you catch up with Daniel and Lando who are passing by your garage on their way to the drivers’ parade. You glance back at the guys one more time, Lando’s arm now casually slung over your shoulder, to see Namjoon steering the maknaes back to the others while Jimin continues giggling and Taehyung glances back at you, winking before he disappears from view.
The drivers’ parade is usually quite a lot of fun. Additionally, since it’s Texas and the F1 teams consist almost entirely of Europeans, the Texan theme is ubiquitous. On top of that, since Red Bull excels at marketing, sometimes even more than developing cars, you and Max are as usual in custom race suits for the day: his with a white button down and cowboy boots painted on, and yours with a tank top and Daisy Dukes.
“Man, I can’t wait for the public to take offense to that design,” comments Max, approaching you on the bus as you tie your hair back to prevent it from flying in the wind.
You look down at your race suit for a moment before chuckling in agreement. “Yep. Also can’t wait for Netflix to make a whole episode about it.”
“Everyone wants to be woke.” Max sighs wearily, leaning next to you on the railing. As the bus passes by the garages, he chuckles suddenly. “God, you cannot tell me that isn’t a sign.”
“What are you talking about now, Verstappen?” you ask absently, now smoothing your bangs behind your ears, frowning when they get caught in your cartilage rings. When he doesn’t answer, you look up to see him grinning in the direction of the Red Bull garage. At first you think he’s looking at his girlfriend, Kelly Piquet, looking flawless and fierce as ever in wing-tipped eyeliner and a black jumpsuit, her piercing blue eyes and red lips visible all the way on the track. It’s only when she turns her head to speak to the person next to her that you realise it’s none other than one Kim Taehyung.
You almost choke, right there in the middle of the drivers’ parade. It’s not that Kelly is talking to Taehyung; it’s that you know what Max is implying and for a moment, you forgot that his girlfriend and Taehyung aren’t here for the same reason. It doesn’t even help that your heart skips a beat the moment you spot him, the way it has been all morning. Taehyung can’t look more like boyfriend material if he tries; in a light grey sweater and a long brown coat, paired with tan trousers, his dark hair thick and long as it falls into his eyes, he looks effortlessly glorious, in direct contrast to Kelly next to him.
Just yours, and no one else’s. 
“You’re overthinking this,” you say nonchalantly, glad that you’re at least outwardly not as flustered as you’re capable of getting. In fact, you’re half-sure Max is just doing it to wind you up, to play mind games with you just as you’re about to get into the car, ensuring that you get distracted and fuck up. COTA, the Texan circuit, is an easy track with plenty of opportunity to overtake; starting at P2, you have the inside line, meaning that if you get a good start, you can even overtake Max into Turn 1.
“What? Our significant others looking all chummy with each other?” He grins, tapping the railing behind you.
“He’s not my significant other,” you say disparagingly. “He’s my… well, he’s significant, but he’s not -”
“He’s exactly your significant other,” states Max, looking irritatingly superior. You roll your eyes at him, secretly waiting for your pulse to quicken or your heart to start hammering. But at that moment, Taehyung catches your eye and winks at you, and your stomach does a backflip. Meanwhile, Max is still talking. “... it means, just like Kelly is my -”
“Kelly,” you interrupt him loudly as you pass by the garage, “is here to support you. Tae -” You lower your voice, “- is here for work.”
“Po-tay-to, Po - hello!” This to Natalie Pinkham, a journalist, who appears before you both with a cameraman and a microphone, smiling widely in a sports jacket. Both you and Max immediately straighten up, plastering your camera smiles on and answering her questions. The entire time, however, all you’re waiting for is the panic to hit you, the familiar and dreaded anxiety at being caught off guard before a race. 
But it never comes. Even after the parade, once you’re all back in your garages and you have your earphones on, focusing on nothing but the impending race, you can’t help but glance at the boys once or twice. All of them wish you luck one by one, light and formal hugs since you know you’re on camera - Taehyung included, even though his hands linger on your back for just a moment longer and he ensures his cheek brushes yours as he pulls away.
“Good luck, Lara,” he murmurs softly, looking down at you with adoring eyes. Your heart zooms in your chest and you need to actively restrain yourself from wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning into him. “How are you feeling?”
His words are controlled, and you know he’s conscious of the cameras around you. “Not bad. Took a painkiller,” you answer, absently touching your abdomen.
“Hope it gave you some comfort?” His mouth twists into a small smile.
You open your mouth but change tacks suddenly. “Are there cameras behind me?” you ask in a small voice, trying not to move your lips. His eyes dart up momentarily and he gives you a small nod. You bite your lip. “I wish I could kiss you,” you admit in a whisper.
He doesn’t expect it; he immediately tries to suppress the wide smile on his face and looks at the ground. Taking a step back, he tosses his hair out of his eyes and nods at you. “Good luck out there,” he says, a bit louder, signalling the end of your private little moment.
You grin and wave to all the boys as you walk away towards Lexie, suddenly so, so glad that Taehyung is here.
“Ah, there she is!” 
You grin despite yourself, your cheeks burning as the boys welcome you into the suite with loud cheers, Lexie and Chris right behind you joining in as well. It’s taken you by surprise; you’d come upstairs to meet Taehyung, so the presence of all the others renders you speechless for a moment.
“Congratulations, Dilara.” Namjoon appears in front of you first as you bustle in, tall and hulking figure bending to hug you. “Race winner! I was talking to your press officer - Vicki, I think - in the garage. She said it’s a huge, huge deal.”
You smile, not caring how much your cheeks hurt. “Thank you. Yeah, it’s… it’s overwhelming for sure. Still hasn’t sunk in, honestly.”
Jimin appears then from behind Namjoon and straight away hugs you, slender and muscular arms wrapping around your waist. His familiar fruity scent mixed with faint cologne engulfs you for a moment and you stumble before regaining your balance and hugging him back. “So proud of you!” he exclaims, pulling away and brazenly kissing you on the cheek.
You chuckle when you hear Taehyung’s deep voice saying something behind the crowd, sounding mildly annoyed, but before you can read too much into it, Jungkook follows his band member to congratulate you. 
“Ah, what a race, Dilara,” he marvels, shaking his head and hugging you. “Especially that last lap! I really thought that McLaren was going to push you off the track.” He lets out a low whistle. “You were amazing.”
“Ah, thanks, JK.”
“Yeah - if only you were as good in the video game.” He grins and dodges your punch to his solar plexus as Hoseok almost suffocates you with a hug as well, saying hi to Chris, Lexie and Fred behind me as you all enter the suite properly. You see Taehyung waiting at the back of the group, tapping his foot impatiently until you finally make your way to him, saving the biggest smile for last.
“You like my members more than me,” he complains when you reach him, before wrapping you in a hug and kissing you.
“Nah, I love you just a little bit more,” you say happily, throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him again. “I’m so glad you were here to see me win,” you tell him honestly. “I still can’t believe it.”
“I can. You were fantastic. I’m so, so proud of you, Lara.” He kisses you again, long hair tickling my forehead. “And I think it’s getting a bit easier to watch you go that fast - except for when you’re wheel to wheel with another car.”
“You’ll get used to it.” You kiss him this time, making it linger longer until Chris calls you out, unceremoniously interrupting your moment. He’s slipped back into Korean with ease, and if it weren’t for English sharpness at the edge of his words, you would’ve thought the voice belonged to Seokjin. 
“Shut up, Chris,” you mutter, pulling away from Taehyung and walking with him to the living room, gladly taking a glass of champagne from Hoseok’s outstretched hand. “I definitely prefer champagne like this instead of getting it sprayed all over me,” you remark, raising your hand. Eleven glasses clink together and everyone cheers. You grin and down your drink straight, only Jimin finishing before you.
Everyone breaks up into groups after that. Someone puts on music and conversation begins. Jungkook and Hoseok present you with a box of cupcakes, with Jimin yelling out that he’s the one that remembered your favourite dessert all the way from Japan last year, but you don’t care. Your first win… there are three world champions within the drivers, and you’d beaten them all. It’s surreal.
You and Max had crossed the finish line within a second of each other. The stadium had erupted as though it was a home race, but neither of you cared. At least you didn’t. The team was beside themselves with joy (for you!) and the podium seemed inconceivable. You’d looked down and seen your friends cheering for you, Fred’s eyes shining with tears all the way down there, Lexie screaming, Taehyung looking up at you with a feeling of pride that made your chest ache. 
You’d only managed to sneak away from the team celebrations around nine pm; no one on the team was ready to leave. Out of your friends, only Lexie stayed behind, given that everyone on the team knew her and she was practically one of them. You were exhausted, though, so when Taehyung texted you to come over, you had every excuse in the book to leave, even though you really only needed one.
By the time you got back to the hotel and showered, washing away all the champagne in your hair, you had missed calls and messages from loads of people, including your mum, your stepfather Rudy, Jungkook, Taehyung, nearly all the drivers including Mick Schumacher and Daniel Ricciardo, a congratulatory message from Alex Turner - and even a text from Dua Lipa, whom you’d met at the VMAs in August, telling you it was great to see you win your first race.
Now, as you sit in between Namjoon and Jimin on the couch, with Taehyung leaning against your legs on the floor next to Lexie and Jungkook, you’re gladder than ever that you’re spending a couple of extra days with him. Lexie, Chris and Fred are to leave soon - Lexie back home to her mum’s house in New York for a few days and Chris and Fred to Los Angeles to meet some friends - and their flights leave in a few hours. 
You reply to messages on your phone, one hand playing with Taehyung’s soft and thick hair while he absently strokes your foot resting next to him. Next to you, in the corner of the couch, Namjoon is swiping through pictures on his photo gallery, expression hard, pausing every few seconds on a picture of a pretty girl with dusky skin and a cute smile. You’re almost certain this is the famous Kaya; you only realise you’re intruding when your own phone suddenly buzzes and you see your mum’s name appear on screen.
Ignoring Taehyung’s whine of protest when you get off the couch, you immediately pick up the call and head to a less noisy room - which turns out to be a huge walk-in closet in one of the bedrooms. “Hey, ma.” You pull the phone away from your ear when you hear a screech. “I didn’t understand that but thanks.” There’s a tinkling laugh at the other end and your heart twists with a faint and familiar homesickness.
“You were wonderful, sweetheart,” she says, her accent a mix of her native one and the British that’s seeped in over the last two decades. “I’m so so proud of you. What did Christian say? Oh - hang on!” There’s a bustle at the other end, another voice faintly speaking, until mum comes back. “Rudy says you were brilliant.”
“Oh, tell him thanks. And Christian… well, Christian was thrilled, obviously. Although, probably a bit more about his golden boy coming in P2 than me winning,” you add, hearing the mild resentment in your own voice.
“Oh, come off it,” says mum, and you can just picture her rolling her eyes under her salt and pepper hair. “You always think they favour him - but today’s all about you. You’re the winner.”
“Yeah, I guess. They have a great headline, though,” you say, picking at a loose thread on one of the bathrobes hanging in the closet. “First female race winner in the sport, in Red Bull. They already have the youngest race winner, the youngest world champion, and now the first female winner. And the youngest, I guess.” 
“There you go, looking at the positives,” she says approvingly. “We watched the pre-race build-up, too, today. You looked so calm and confident - I’m honestly not at all surprised you won.”
“You’re just biased, mum,” you say, cheeks feeling warm. “But I’m glad because I was freaking out on the inside, for sure.” The moment you say it, it occurs to you that you actually weren’t… you frown, trying to remember the last time you were actually calm before a race.
“I’m serious, darling. I think it’s good you’re bringing Lexie and your other friends with you to the races,” she adds, and you can picture her nodding. “It’s clear how much they support you - that’s exactly what you need. Everything else is all you.”
You nod, swallowing. You say goodbye after that, given that it’s the middle of the night back home, but you don’t get up from where you’re sitting. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what it was that kept you so calm, enough that your mother could spot it on television. Lexie has been to every race since you joined Red Bull nearly two years ago, and Chris and Fred have been joining you on and off since Baku in May last year. There’s only one real presence that was additional to this race, and when you think back to how you’d been waiting for Max’s mind games to work on you, it suddenly makes sense that they never did.
Or it makes no sense, because all it does is confuse you even more. You drop your head onto your knees, closing your eyes and trying to steady your racing heart, as though it already knows what you’re about to do. You don’t want to be impulsive but your core as a racer means that so many of your decisions are guided by instinct, by how they make you feel, whether braking into a corner now or half a second later is the best way to get ahead.
You squeeze your eyes shut even further, the image of Taehyung in the garage swimming to the forefront of your mind. He looked… well, handsome, but he always does, really. More than how he looked visually, which was more handsome than most models, he seemed to fit, in a way. You’ve seen Kelly Piquet come to every single race since Australia, her face full of love and pride when she looks at Max, no matter the result of the race. He couldn’t make it too obvious, but you think you saw the same look on Taehyung’s face when he’d wished you luck, just before you’d told him that you wanted to kiss him. 
Comfort. That’s what it was, wasn’t it? Your weekend was objectively better because he was here. You were calmer, more confident, more supported because he was here, and while the group was technically here as part of their schedule, he was here for you. Just you. Just yours and no one else’s.
You sigh, your stomach already light with butterflies. If you’re being honest with yourself, you knew you were headed here the moment you saw him on Friday. It’s only the people closest to a driver that come for races, that stay in the garage with headphones on, watching the entire time with bated breath. They’re the only ones that fear when a car zooms past at two hundred miles an hour, or when another car bumps into them and there’s a moment where a fun race can suddenly turn deadly. Most of all, they’re the only ones drivers want to see after a race, the faces you look for when you do well, the comfort you look for when you don’t.
Comfort. He’s your comfort. You love him, you have fun with him, you miss him, you long for him, and now... you’re pretty sure you want to be with him.
You make your way to the living room, your heart thudding with anticipation. Your friends have left - Lexie had texted you right after you’d finished talking to your mum. The boys are sprawled around the room as they watch some Korean TV show; you see the Netflix logo in the corner of the screen and recognise Park Bogum speaking. Taehyung has taken up your vacated spot on the couch, and you approach him from behind.
“Hey.” You put your lips close to his ear, lightly squeezing his shoulders. He jumps slightly but gives you a small smile when he sees you. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Usually when you ask to see each other in private, it’s a thinly veiled way of saying you’re horny. But something in your tone must have alerted him otherwise, for he simply nods, a small and curious frown on his forehead as he gets up and joins you. You lead him back to where you came from, standing across from him anxiously.
Taehyung takes in his surroundings, hands snug inside his tracks. He’s got a striped cardigan over his t-shirt, long hair brushing the collar and exposing a reasonable amount of collarbone, making him look so comforting and so inviting that you have to clench your fists and stop yourself from hugging him.
“Okay, so… what are we doing in this lovely, um, closet?” Taehyung’s deep voice snaps you out of your silent admiration of how handsome he looks in literally anything. 
Focus, Dilara.
“Um -” You clear your throat. “Thank you for coming today,” you blurt.
He raises an eyebrow. “It was part of our schedule,” he says slowly.
“No, I know.” You bite your lip, feeling your pulse race. “I mean, thank you for… the whole weekend. Thank you for being there,” you finish lamely, looking at the floor, suddenly wondering if this is a bad idea. You feel him touch your jaw gently.
“Of course, Lara.” The nickname suddenly makes a lump appear in your throat and you swallow it hastily, knowing that this is the absolute worst time to cry. Fuck hormones. 
“Today, before the race, Max tried to play mind games with me.” You look up to see him frown. “He tried to freak me out.”
“What? Why?” His voice is sharp and you can hear a slight indignation behind it.
“No, no, it’s - everyone does it. All athletes do, I mean. We try to throw each other off, distract each other… anyway, my point is…” You swallow, your irritation with Max surfacing again, “... while I’ve gotten better at dealing with it over the years, today it didn’t affect me at all.”
He nods slowly. “Okay.”
“And I think - I think it was because of you, for the most part.” You find you can’t meet his gaze, so your eyes fall to the floor again. “It felt good, knowing you were there. And, yeah, I know you were there for your schedule, but… it still felt nice. It felt like comfort.” The stupid lump in your throat is back and you hurry your next words.
“A huge part of my job is - is this stuff. The mind games,” you clarify, quickly glancing up at him. His face is smooth and impassive again as he listens to me intently, but you haven’t a clue what he’s thinking. “It’s hard because the people that I spend most of my time with are my competitors… but they’re also my friends. And there’s always a part of me that’s…” You wring your fingers together, aware that you’re slowly descending into rambling. “... suspicious of what people say, what they mean. It’s hard to trust people,” you say eventually, finally looking up at him. Plus, I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else.
Taehyung bites his lip. “Lara,” he says gently, “what’s on your mind?”
You search his face for any hint into what he’s thinking. You haven’t felt this vulnerable with him since Suzuka, since you’d last laid your heart out on the table like this. “What if you meet someone else?” you ask him quietly.
He blinks. “I won’t.” It’s clear that he knew where the conversation was headed, and you’re glad you don’t have to spell it out for him. 
“You can’t know that.”
“I won’t,” he repeats. “Not while you’re in my life.”
You consider it. “What if I meet someone else?”
“I’ll fight him,” he answers, shrugging.
The corner of your mouth tugs upward. “What if it’s a girl?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Hot, but… I’ll fight her, too.”
“What if your fans don’t like me?”
He shrugs again. “So what? I mean, yeah, they’re our fans, but it’s really none of their business who I date.”
The word makes your heart skip a beat. “I can’t speak Korean. I probably never will.” You point to the living room. “Chris will vouch for the fact that I’m a terrible student.”
He smiles, amused. “You’re not that bad. But… yeah, you might not ever learn Korean. I don’t care, though. I can speak English. I mean, it’s not perfect, but…” 
“Your English is great,” you say automatically, unwilling to hear anything against the group’s English-speaking skills. Your eyes find the same loose thread on the bathrobe. “What about your family? What if they don’t -”
“Lara, come on, you’re just pulling at straws now. Wait, no -” He frowns. “Is that right?”
“I’m not grasping at straws,” you argue. “What if - what if Yeontan doesn’t like me?”
Taehyung sighs. “Then we might have to break up. He’s very possessive of me,” he says, straight-faced. But he presumably catches sight of your expression, for he snorts. “Come on, Lara, I’ve seen you with dogs. You’re a natural.”
You take a small step closer. “And the distance? The travel? The time, the fame, keeping it a secret? What about -” You stop abruptly, feeling overwhelmed all over again.
“Lara.” All traces of humour have left his face. “I’ll never have an answer to all that, okay? No one will. Our careers are too… dynamic?” When you nod, he moves on. “But we can work despite that. I just…” He exhales and the adoration in his eyes makes you want to cry. “We travel the world all year long. We’re in random cities in the same hotels, always together. I want to come home.” His voice cracks slightly on the last word. “But I can’t, and you’re the closest feeling to home when I’m not actually home. I want to come home to you, even if it’s just over the phone.”
“Are you saying…” You bite your lip, “... that I’m a comfort, maybe?”
He smiles. “You’re the most comforting racing driver I know.” When you laugh, he grins. “I love you, Lara.”
“I love you, too.” For a moment, neither of you says anything. Then you take a deep breath, knowing the discussion is approaching its closure. “You really think Yeontan will be okay with a stepmum?”
“Stepmom?” He scoffs. “You’ll be his mom.”
You give him a look. “If you call me a mom one more time, I’m finding myself another boyfriend.”
At the last word, Taehyung grins, and his boxy smile feels like the sun's come out. “Deal,” he says, crossing the distance between you in one step and kissing you, hands cradling your face and lips warm and soft.
You kiss him back, pulling him closer by the cardigan before reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck, running your fingers through his hair. His hands come around you, holding you close to him, as though you’ll change your mind if he lets you go. His lips are frantic and the kiss passionate, and you’re suddenly aware that it’s all -
“Mine.” You say it against his mouth and only realise when he pulls away slightly, frowning. You bite your lip and shake your head. “It’s nothing. Just feels right,” you murmur, reaching back up to kiss him
“Tell that to the men in the paddock who kept staring at you when your race suit got wet,” he mutters, fingers tightening on your waist.
“Tell that to your army of fans. I don’t share,” you declare.
He grins against your lips. “Fuck, that’s hot,” he mutters, pulling you even closer.
You nod, feeling like your chest might burst from happiness. He walks you backwards until your back touches the wall of the closet and he reaches for the hem of your hoodie. He raises it slightly and you feel his warm hands flat on your stomach, making your spine tingle, but you reluctantly pull away.
“I’m still on my period,” you sigh, leaning back against the wall. Taehyung’s eyes are still dark with desire; he runs his thumb gently down your stomach, brushing very lightly against your belly button, making you gasp. “Tae, I’m serious,” you mutter, stifling a groan when he drops his hands. “I’m sorry,” you say softly, tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt. “I almost didn’t say anything tonight because I knew we couldn’t have sex.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Seriously? You wouldn’t have said anything because of your period?”
“Oh, come on. Would you really rather hear me moan in pain and whine and be all pissy instead of, I dunno, doing me?”
“I love doing you,” he states as though it’s news. “But I’m happy with you no matter what. Even if you whine and eat a lot of ice cream.”
“Oh, God, enough already about your ex who ate ice cream on her period,” you groan dramatically, rolling your eyes. “I prefer Asian food and massages,” you inform him.
“I can make you jajjangmyeon.” He pauses. “And by me I mean Jin hyung.”
“Sounds about right,” you murmur, as he wraps his arms around your waist and picks you up gently so you can wrap your legs around his torso. You’re kissing again when Hoseok shouts your names from the living room and asks something in Korean. Before you can answer, Jimin shouts something, followed by Jungkook disagreeing and Seokjin finally yelling something louder than all the others.
You sigh, leaning your head back against the wall. “What is happening?” you ask Taehyung.
“They want to watch a movie,” he says calmly, lips brushing your jaw. “The one that won an Oscar. Parasite?”
“Oh. Yeah, I’m okay with it.”
“Great.” His mouth moves down to your neck, making you giggle.
“Come on, we should go.” You hop down and surreptitiously fluff your hair, straightening your hoodie. Well, Taehyung’s hoodie, the same black one you’d borrowed a year ago in Japan. “Oh, wait. What do we tell our friends?”
He pauses while fixing his hair and raises his eyebrows. “About us? I don’t know, I was thinking the truth? Only if they ask. No pressure.”
You give him a look. “Of course the truth, but…” You groan in embarrassment, dropping your face in your hands. “They’ve been trying to convince me to say yes to you for months. Lexie and Chris especially are going to be insufferable. And I may have to run Max over with my car to get him to shut up.”
Taehyung shrugs, grinning and taking your hand. “Don’t worry,” he says, kissing your cheek, “Jimin will be much worse.”
“Oh, I believe you.”
He chuckles and wraps his arms around your shoulders from behind as you continue walking. The familiar scent of lotion feels like home, and you grip his forearms, your chest lighter than it has been in a long time. “It’ll be fine.”
You press your lips to his arm and nod as you enter the living room. You believe him. It will be fine.
Until it isn’t.
Thank you for reading. Don't forget to reblog and review :)
Tagging: @kflixnet @k-radio @bbl32
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wannabegwenstacy · 4 hours ago
Bangtan in Bed: Kim Taehyung | NSFW
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Kim Taehyung: The Strict Dom 🍒
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Rating: 18+
Contains: libido control, long foreplay, overstimulation, mood setting, dry humping, massages, rough, biting, marking, scratching, neck is his sensitive zone, sensory play, sensory deprivation, pet play, collars/leashes, sir/kitten dynamic
A/N: ...the fact that this chapter finally got out is half a miracle and a thank you gift from my mania I swear because I have been to hell and back with writing this. I have written and completely deleted paragraphs, have had my computer completely wipe half the thing and had to retrieve it back, went on a hiatus and came back multiple times! Like finally releasing this is such a weight off my shoulders but also so anxiety inducing! I'm not completely happy with it but in words of Kim Namjoon "done is better than perfect". So without further a do welcome Bangtan in Bed: Kim Taehyung ver.
Series Masterlist
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⇣Below cut⇣
This man is a dom
It's just something about him that screams dom
It could be a number of things but I guess just call it a feeling
Tae would definitely be into BDSM.
Especially Impact Play and Sensory Play
There is actually video clips of him joking around with the members that attests to the impact play theory
(clips below. ignore the cringe-ness of the last video I had to take the clips from...im sorry)
exhibit a (spanking jimin)
exhibit b (spanking jin) 3:10 - 3:18
exhibit c (choking jin with a…toothbrush) 0:58 - 1:33
He loves to have all of his senses stimulated.
Candles, incense, dim lights, jazz music, stuff like that.
He needs a good atmosphere. A sensual one.
(Jungkook too but we will get into that later, this is about Taehyung)
On the topic of his heightened senses…
Sensory deprivation and overstimulation
He's a foreplay guy and he's got an intense stamina on him. He can last a really long time and loves to draw out sex.
This could be due to his Capricorn mars which happens to lie in the 2nd house ruled by Saturn, the planet of discipline
So with all that "discipline" it's only natural that he would love to play around with edging, overstimulation, and deprivation of his partner's senses. He wants to push their own senses. See how just long they can last. See how good they will be for him.
He wants to have them crying out his name and whining for him before he even sheds a single thread of his own clothing.
Speaking of clothes, he still wants to feel them even though it may not be skin to skin at first. Feel them squirm under his fingers and lips. Even taste them a bit. Eventually, though he wants to feel them completely.
Stretch them out. Feel their chest pressed against his own.
Breath intermixing in the air around them. lips molded together as hands roam over each other's bodies.
Skin pressed to skin.
Bringing them close, as close as they can be
Body to body
It's important to him, physical skin to skin contact with his love that is. but before all that, before he lets himself go, and before he allows himself and his baby that pleasure of contact he likes to have some fun with them.
Grinding down on them clothed rough pressure of his pants pressing against their clothed core creating friction.
Fingers pressing into their muscles in their shoulders and down their back.
Thumbs massaging pressing in and ever so slowly dragging down lower and lower before reaching their lower back right above their bum.
Massaging there, releasing all the tension, feeling them relax into him from below as they lay on their belly.
Him straddling their legs just below the apex of their bum
Thumbs rubbing circles right above their bum, pouring some hot oils or even some candle wax onto their back.
Working into their skin
Hearing their unsteady labored breaths below him
Maybe even a few moans or whimpers slipping past their lips
Slowly working their muscles
He would slowly creep lower before hooking his index fingers into their last remaining covering covering their body
Dragging it down their hips and off their body, climbing down as he goes.
Before returning to his previous position seated above their now bare thighs
Continuing with his previous actions
Working their lower spine down to the apex of their bum
Thumbs slowly rubbing circles on their tail bone
Pointer, middle, and ring fingers brushing along their hips as he drops lower
Long fingers circling and coming under molding and kneading at their bum before pushing his middle finger to their core slowly adding a teasingly light pressure on the up stroke
After a while adding another
He would stay like that awhile just rubbing his long fingers into them until they are begging for him to do more
Pleading under him for more making promises they may or may not be able to keep
Having their voice breaking off in frustration before he would finally press into them slowly one finger at a time coaxing them along
Long fingers moving in a come hither motion hitting just where they need him
Occasionally moving to a scissor motion stretching them out for him
Fingering them slowly hearing a mixture of their whines and the squelch of the hot oil between their legs
With no time he would have them whining and pleading under him again.
Begging to be fucked by him
But he wouldn't that night, he had other plans instead
Looking so pretty before him, he decided it was just better to fuck their thighs…
OK! Let me continue. I got carried away…before I forget let's go back to my point about Taehyung's insane stamina
Taehyung is definitely a man that takes his time. He isn't in no rush with things
And again a fucking stamina, that is mostly due to his Capricorn mars placement
"sex is a marathon not a race" is an expression he doesn't take lightly, frankly it's his bible in the bedroom
He would push in inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter while holding his partner down by their hips
Long fingers digging into their sides as they try to wiggle under him without avail
Little fingerprint bruises showing up the next day
He is most definitely the type to fuck slow and deep
But that doesn't mean he is soft necessarily
Slow occasionally but…not like you think
I mean he is a romantic, and he can be sweet in the bedroom but this man overall likes it rough
I'm talking biting
..He got a sensitive neck
So double up on that marking
Big messy hickies adorning his pretty little kitten's torso, neck, legs, in between their thighs, ass, collarbones are his fav
When it comes to marking as much as he loves dishing them out he loves recieving them too.
Seeing them the next day and having to hide them and cover them with some makeup.
Not so little reminders of his baby.
It gets him worked up sometimes just looking at them, especially the bigger darker ones.
Loves sucking on his lover(s) collar bones, kitten licks, and nips left across.
Leaving little kisses and bites behind creating sloppy patches
He tends to be quite careful and takes his time leaving them.
Kim Taehyung is the type of man to take his time. Adorning his lover(s) w/ his lips, teeth, tongue, and calloused finger tips.
Waking up the next morning muscles sore. A dull ache.
He would stretch his arms above his head and feel the slight burn across his back from where their nails dug into him the previous night
A small smirk falling onto his lips, knowing he's going to have to punish them later for that.
Getting them down onto their hands and knees before him a pretty little collar with the word "kitten" adorning their neck and a plug in their ass.
His pretty little kitten spankings would come before leashing them up and having them suck him off leaving their knees and throat bruised
Followed by some pretty intense and long after care
We're talking bubble baths, cuddles, caste kisses, candles, incense, silk sheets, fuzzy robes, serenading his favorite jazz songs, the list goes on
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NEXT UPDATE: Jungkook! - (date of upload is pending)
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ikoo-v · 2 months ago
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૮˃̵֊ ˂̵ ა ! messy icons ! like or reblog.
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moonchild1 · 3 months ago
kim taehyung fic rec list (Ⅲ)
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here's a list of my favourite taehyung fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, leave a heart, reblog or even leave a message under their posts I know they would appreciate hearing from you, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed ♡ feel free to send and share any fics you're reading or would like to recommend to me
a- angst s- smut f- fluff
enemy by @btssmutgalore s a (fuck buddies strangers to lovers) ft. Hoseok
rotten angelcake by @inkedtae f s a (ceo au strangers to lovers au sugar daddy au)
cliff diving by @wwilloww f s (friends to lovers au)
the good boy by @jkeuphoriadreamland s (yandere/obsessive taehyung read other tags)
colours by @lovelytaes-blog f s a (single dad au strangers to lovers au)
kinda hot by @kimnjss​ f s a (sm au best friends to lovers au college au)
the diary of a healing heart by @taegularities f s a (college au strangers to friends to lovers)
the president's son by @jimlingss f (bodyguard au)
salvage by @btssaysstudy f a (unrequited love) ft. Jungkook
patient love by @writtenwhalien f s a (roommate au idiots to lovers best friends to lovers)
heart of the flame by @chateautae f s a (roommate au best friends to lovers firefighter tae)
seeing red by @borathae f s a (enemies to lovers/office au)
the art of touch by @chateautae f s a (royalty au period piece strangers to lovers au)
play with me by @bangchanshehe s a (poly au) ft. Jungkook
feelings caught by @kimnjss s (best friends girlfriend)
all i want for christmas is you by @ladyartemesia f s (brother's best friend au enemies to lovers au)
shutout by @ughseoks f s a (best friends to lovers au)
breakfast in bed by @borathae f s (best friends to lovers au sub tae)
10 muses by @sketchguk​ f s (college au photographer taehyung)
tease by @caiuscassiuss f s (brother's best friend enemies to lovers au)
soaring high by @taegularities f s (dilf au)
sph by @venusjeon s a (friends with benefits au)
flat tire by @ppersonna f s (boyfriend au)
strings attached by @bangtiddies f a (fake dating au college au)
the holi-date by @kpopfanfictrash s (fake dating au neighbour au)
dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash s (arranged marriage au)
washed on by @ressjeon s (frat au car wash au strangers to lovers au)
acquainted by @dewykth s a (unrequited love infidelity)
"are you sure?" by @cutechim f s (brother's best friend au)
just a taste by @cutechim f s (frat boy au spring break new couple)
tempestuous by @ppersonna s a (best friend brother enemies to lovers au)
make you feel my love by @rkiverse f a (friends to lovers au)
remember this by @yoohtae a (wedding planner au)
tattooed two by @httpjeon f s (tattoo au threesome) ft. Jungkook
seventeen times 17 by @cutaepatootie f s a (angsty)
right amount of wrongs by @taegularities f s a (best friends to lovers au high school au)
midnight snack by @sparklingchim s (enemies to lovers au college au)
tomorrow, tonight by @ggukseoulcafe f a (ceo au heartbreak exes au)
guns & roses by @chateautae f s (mafia au established relationship au)
work hard, play harder by @sugasbabiie f s a (ceo tae assistant reader office au idiots to lovers )
dark chocolate snap by @jamaisjoons f s (threesome) ft. Seokjin
kinktober ~ day 14 by @dreamescapeswriting f s (wedding night sweet and soft)
spice by @aquagustd f s a (strangers to lovers au playboy tae)
do it better by @yoon2k s (dilf tae infidelity)
flicker by @chimoona f s (neighbours au)
sorrow by @jiminsfault s a
somebody else by @jamaisjoons s a (post break up au ex yoongi) ft. Yoongi
bad alpha, sweet alpha by @helenazbmrskai f s a (werewolf au friends to lovers)
(why) we got married by @ktheist s a (arranged marriage au)
talk slow by @writtenwhalien f s a (brother's best friend exes to lovers)
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↬looking for other kth fics or the other members check out my library for more
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chateautae · a month ago
daisy | kth. (m)
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➵ summary: sleeping with your infuriating, unfairly attractive rival in art school? stupid. sleeping with him without protection? even more stupid. when you became pregnant with kim taehyung’s child at 21, your young lives suddenly derailed for the worst. fulfilling your parental roles early on proved difficult, but five years later, perhaps it was time to give your complicated relationship a second chance; not only for yourselves, but for your baby daughter—daisy.
➵ pairing: taehyung x reader 
➵ genre: rivals/fuck buddies to lovers!au, accidental pregnancy, young parents!au, the fluffiest fluff, light angst, smut
➵ rating: 18+
➵ word count: 16k
➵ warnings: swearing, mentions of addiction + counselling, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, breast fondling, oral (m & f. receiving), face-riding, clit-biting, spanking, dirty talk, deep-throating, ball-fondling, fingering, emotional/passionate sex, rough sex, scratching, creampie
➵ a/n: would you believe me if I said this was originally written in february?? HAHA this is a request by @feelsaesthetic​ for bgn’s 2 hearts, 1 love valentine’s day event!! this fic consists of taehyung, pragma (enduring love), slow burn, and an artist au with m&ms (the perfect first date) <3  I really hope you enjoy my interpretation of your request loves 🥺 thank you endlessly to my loves @taegularities​ & @amourtae​ for betaing and commenting!! (THE TAGS FINALLY WORK YAY) as always, your feedback means the world to me 💓
➵ playlist: die for you by the weeknd
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 You smile tentatively, swallowing dryly as you stand in front of a trendy restaurant; sleek with its atmosphere, cozy with its interior. Similarly, your companion clears his throat with a fist over his mouth, restlessly shuffling his feet. 
 It’s quite comedic how you’re nervous for this date tonight, as though it’s with some Godforsaken unknown tinder fling. When in reality, you’re going on a date with the estranged man you have a five-year-old child with; Kim Taehyung. 
 You both wait in line patiently side-by-side. To say this is awkward is an understatement, or merely a guess, you're uncertain. It's not as though things are painfully intolerable between you two, nor is there suffocating hatred that's rendered you incapable of speaking to each other. 
 It's not at all like the man standing next to you is your once blood-boiling rival turned ‘I-share-50%-of-my-DNA-with-you-through-a-child-because-we-had-sex’ acquaintance. This is the first time in years you’ve both even decided to entertain a night out together; for a real date.
"Hey, do you think you'll be okay in these heels?" Taehyung leans down and asks, and all would be well if it wasn’t for the soft, warm palm he tucks against the small of your back. 
 You gulp immediately. 
 "Yeah, I'm-I'm good," you reassure him, fumbling on your words. God-fucking-dammit, how does his touch still leave your heart sprinting and your tongue twisting? It’s been years. 
 "Alright, just making sure." He politely smiles; you despise that it's still as handsome as ever. 
 Once the line begins ushering forward and Taehyung speaks to the hostess about your reservations, you're both led towards your seats. It’s located on the rustic second floor of the restaurant. Crisp, clean-cut furnishing, wooden light fixtures, enchanting decor, and a garden-like colour scheme to complement—it’s delightful. Your table even offers a sweet view of the vibrant city that eventually disappears around a stunning beach, too.
 Impressed, you whisper to Taehyung. "This is a really nice place." 
 Taehyung leans over. "I wanted to get a nice place for you." 
 Biting your lip, you're both introduced to your table. You graciously thank the hostess before tugging out your chair, only for Taehyung to instantly stop you. 
 "Woah, hold on," he calls out, pulling out your seat instead. The gentlemanly action makes you quite sheepish; you’re not used to chivalrous treatment by him. Taehyung smiles sweetly, managing to capture your heart and hold it hostage. "I can help you remove your coat, too." 
 Lost, you gaze wondrously into his woodsy brown eyes. Taehyung lightly laughs, and his hands find purchase on your lapels. You gently shrug your jacket off, and Taehyung places the item neatly on the back of your seat. 
 He finally rounds the table and removes his own coat, revealing his sophisticated, dapper button-up. It appears brand name and expensive, and you inadvertently gush at how handsome he looks tonight. Hair styled so that a few pieces frame his forehead, his rings glinting upon his fingers, his open collar revealing his chiseled collarbones, golden chest, and the silver chain he adorns.
 A chain that brings back a myriad of memories. 
 Sighing to yourself, a waiter approaches your table in the midst of your swooning. Taehyung requests a fancy wine for your table, and after perusing the menu together, your food is ordered. 
 Now, you sit silently across from each other while fidgeting, the air cumbrous. There's a dense feeling of apprehension between you two, though it’s well-warranted. A date is something utterly outlandish for the pair of you. 
 Your history together is rather… complicated. 
 "So…” Taehyung starts, anxiously rubbing his palms together—it’s always been a nervous habit of his. “How's Daisy?"
 "She's good,” you respond, distracted with a table napkin. “I left her with Mona tonight." 
 "Ah," Taehyung sucks in air through his teeth, before gently laughing. "She's an... interesting babysitter." 
 You snicker, seeing his point. Your best friend does have a quite unorthodox style of baby-sitting, but your little flower girl adores her aunt Mona far too much for you to deny her. 
 "Could your mom not look after Daisy tonight?” Taehyung inquires, leaning his elbows on the table. “Is everything alright?" 
 His concerned eyes and tone melt your heart, locking your gaze with his sweet one. You feel an array of sensations wash over you—first and foremost, attraction. How does Taehyung manage to appear so devastatingly handsome even after years? You'll never quantify an answer. Second, his undeniable affect on you never truly diminished, huh? 
 His attentiveness right now doesn’t help much, either. 
 "Yeah, everything's alright. She’s just caught up with my dad, you know?" 
 "Shit, I can’t believe I forgot." Taehyung curses. "I should’ve gotten my mom to take care of Daisy instead. Has your dad been okay these days?" 
 Your heart internally gushes, clearing your throat as you adjust to the idea of being like this with Taehyung—domestic. Warm, intimate, sweet; this isn’t the man you’ve known all these years. This version of him is vastly different. "Mhm. His work injury just started acting up again but nothing my mom can't take care of. She’s a nurse, after all.” 
 Taehyung exhales with relief, leaning back in his seat. "I’m glad, I hope he feels better soon." 
 You smile kindly, and Taehyung responds with his own. 
 The renewed silence bothers you, and so you prepare yourself to pose more worthwhile conversation. “How’s… um, the addiction counselling been for you?” You tentatively query. “I hope it’s been okay.” 
 Taehyung gently smiles, nodding. “Mm. Some days are easier than others, but I’m better. Counsellor tells me I have the mindset to quit, just a matter of getting there.” He mindlessly taps the table, focusing desolately on his folded napkin. He appears hesitant, uncomfortable almost, and you feel guilty about asking. 
 You reach over to fix his fork that wasn't quite straight, and you manage to capture his attention. Smiling benignly as a form of comfort, he smiles, too. You attempt to neglect the way he shoots an arrow through your heart, his full, luscious lips the pinnacle of your doom. 
 To explain this situation would take an ample amount of time, though you suppose it's alright considering the silence that taints the air now. 
 Taehyung wasn't your boyfriend, or your husband or technically even your ex. He was only your ex-fuck buddy from art school, but was primarily, your irritating rival you’ve known since high school. Ever since the fateful day your class was cursed with assigned seating, and you ended up seated next to a lean, obnoxiously handsome, arrogant fluffy-haired boy with phenomenal talent; it was the beginning of your downfall. 
 Kim Taehyung—you came to know him as—always had a bone to pick with you, and never missed the frustrating opportunity to challenge your art skills with his prodigal ones. Your grades were often top of the class, but so were his, resulting in the divisive pair of you squaring off on numerous occasions to decide who deserved the number one spot. Not a single art class ended without the two of you getting on each other’s nerves or bickering over who the most talented artist was. 
 It's hard to imagine you two wittily arguing over who's a better sketcher now, though, especially considering how much you’ve both mellowed out ever since Daisy. 
 Daisy; now she's a topic to discuss. 
 It was already a nuisance that Taehyung ended up attending the same art school as you after high school, though it was guaranteed when he vowed that he would never let you live a day in peace.
 Hitting up a college party in your third year, you despised running into the frustrating idiot after he already trashed your project in sculpting class earlier that day. A menace on and off campus, still your (stupidly) handsome arch nemesis, and a constant contributor to your daily headaches—that was Kim Taehyung: art school edition. 
 You remember rolling your eyes when you waltzed into the main area bustling with dancing, sweaty bodies, only to find his obnoxiously sexy ass already eyeing you from across the dance floor. 
 It was seriously a crime how much more gorgeous he grew up. 
 Your snippy attitude that night didn't shoo him away—it never did. In fact, it rather invited him to you, and sometimes you considered whether Taehyung was a masochist or not. 
 “Oh look, if it isn’t the person who doesn’t know how to proportionally structure the weight distribution of a Contrapposto sculpture.” Taehyung dramatizes. 
 “Oh look, if it isn’t the dumbass who forgot what the Mars of Todi is.” You counter. 
 “You’re the same person who forgot you’re supposed to distribute the weight on the engaged leg! Just admit that you’re a shitty carver and I’m better.” 
 “And you’re the same person that fucked around too much and made me ruin the weight in the first place! Just admit you feel threatened by me, asshat.” 
 With alcohol corrupting his judgement and your klutzy self already tipsy, your usual scuffles at the party were endless. The previous incident in class had tensions between you two on a highline, but as the night progressed, it became rivetingly thick. 
 And tension between you two? Absolutely nothing new, especially after the few times you’d both already gotten handsy and intimate, until eventually succumbing to the massively hot energy you’d both spent ages denying. 
 There really is a thin line between love and hate, you discovered, because you realized behind every argument, every showdown and infuriating debate with Taehyung, your body always buzzed with this sort of insatiable, compelling adrenaline; the kind that only a drug could sate. 
 And when you realized that drug was Kim Taehyung, well, saying that you ended up getting fucked by him in an art studio closet a few weeks prior to this was saying the least, because you explored each other’s bodies laciviously that day. 
 Not your fault Kim Taehyung’s sharp mouth could be used for things other than telling you off; and he had a wicked tongue. 
 It’s also not your fault that the art studio was usually deserted, and you and Taehyung were the epitome of perfectionists who often stayed behind to complete your projects. You two could be usually found after hours sculpting or sketching away, and the studio became your go-to place for your many more… sensual projects. 
 Again, not your fault once school began piling up and with graduation dawning on you both, sex was a godly stress-reliever. 
 But Taehyung’s eyes that particular night were captivating—intense. He bore into your very soul with carnal need, and once he backed you up against a kitchen counter, your ass nudging the edge as his arms caged you in, absolutely nothing prepared you for where that night would lead. 
 Inches deep inside you, piston-fucking you into a stranger's bed from behind. After already fingering you, eating you out like a madman, and your essence dripping out of your throbbing pussy, Taehyung shoved himself inside you so hard and fast, you saw stars dancing circles around you—he made you come for the third time that night. 
 Not only that, but your inebriated, stupid fucking brains convinced each other that a condom was useless this one time. Funny how two supposed geniuses went forward with having unprotected sex, huh? You blame alcohol and conveniently, Taehyung’s wicked tongue again. 
 Taehyung would tell the story with you being that one that begged him to be fucked raw, but your account would suggest otherwise; a horny Taehyung speedily asking if you really needed a condom when he was dying to take your raw pussy from behind, and your intoxicated ass insatiably pumping his dick before lodging it inside your weeping cunt. 
 It was a team effort.
 Five years later, here you two are, attending an out-of-place dinner while a daughter of your making most likely watches Frozen for the umpteenth time back home, bugging Mona with questions regarding who her mommy is on a date with, and Mona needing to conceal the truth—it’s with her daddy. 
 Taehyung couldn’t bear living with you and Daisy after your stressful first years parenting her, and opted for purchasing an apartment that wasn’t too far away, but still local. You always wondered why he needed to leave so desperately. 
 "So, I heard Daisy's adjusted to her senior kindergarten class." Taehyung lifts you from your trance, his voice so familiarly deep and rich. You despised that he could always reel you in with it, even if he spent the majority of his time berating your carving skills. "I'm glad. I was scared she'd ask me to start homeschooling her." 
 Recalling that Taehyung's the warmest elementary school art teacher in the world, you wouldn't necessarily mind that. You always found it quite the curveball how his narcissistic self ended up teaching art to young children, but then again, you two are quite… distant now. "How'd you know she adjusted?" 
 "She face-timed me when she was with your mom last week." Taehyung laughs, recalling the memory. "She had her face shoved into the camera the whole time. She's too fucking cute." 
 You giggle along with him, envisioning little Daisy’s chubby cheeks as she rambles, her father whole-heartedly smiling at her. Taehyung observes your reaction, and he starts rubbing his hands again; you wish you could quell his nerves.
 "She... reminds me of you." Taehyung tentatively voices, but you hear it anyway. Your eyes gently glisten under the chandelier lights, a small smile tugging your lips. 
 When you first saw that positive pregnancy test at the age of 21, there was no doubt in your mind who the father was. After a mental breakdown, a panic attack, and marathoning for 15 minutes in the freezing rain, you raided the men's track & field practice that day and demanded that you speak to an asshole named Kim Taehyung.
 The coach was admonishing you until you began openly sobbing, and even Taehyung’s expression was etched with immediate concern. When he situated you both underneath the school bleachers and draped your soaked figure with his training jacket out of courtesy, you told him the life-changing news.
 "I'm... I'm pregnant, Tae. And you're the dad." 
 Perplexed, Taehyung stands frozen for nearly an entire minute. Once you begin to cry harder and you press him for something, Taehyung's expression changes multiple times. 
 "I'm... I'm the dad?" He asks, features woven with disbelief. "Are... are you sure?" 
 "Yes, I'm fucking sure! You're the only guy I'm fucking right now, you dick!" 
 The volume of your voice stuns Taehyung, who lifts his palms in surrender. "Okay, okay! I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm shocked... I'm fucking shocked, Y/N." 
 "We're stupid, we're so stupid. We should've used a condom, we're so fucking stupid." You lament, while Taehyung stares at nothing with desolation. “Why the fuck did you have to come in me that night? This is all your fault.” 
 Taehyung indignantly scoffs. “What the fuck? My fault? You’re the one who begged me to cum inside you.” 
 “Fuck off, you should’ve been more responsible and pulled out. You always say you’re smarter than me and yet you did something as stupid as come inside me without a condom!” 
 “Hello? I was responsible, and with that logic it means you should’ve been more responsible too!” Taehyung argues. “I literally bought a Plan B at 4 in the fucking morning for you. Did you even take it?” 
 “Of course I did, genius. You know they don’t always work.” 
 “I know, woman.” Taehyung shoots back. “We’re both just idiots for having unprotected sex in the first place.” 
 The pair of you stand awkwardly with each other, tears streaming down your face as Taehyung peers off into the distance. He evidently teems with numerous thoughts, just as you do. 
 "I... I have no words. I really don't." He breaks the silence. "I don’t get it… I got you pregnant... I got you fucking pregnant? We have a kid together?" 
 "Yes, fucking Einstein!” You shriek. “Do you need me to spell it out for you?!" 
 "No, it's just kinda shocking when you tell me at my fucking track & field practice! Half an hour ago I was running laps and now I suddenly have a fucking kid with you?!" 
 "Then when was I supposed to tell you? When you were sitting down and sipping some chamomile fucking tea to calm your nerves? I just had the worst panic attack of my entire life by myself. I cried for two hours on my fucking bathroom floor trying to call you, but I couldn't even breathe. I didn't know what to do and now that I'm telling you, you have a fucking problem with it?!" 
 "Okay, okay, shh, shh." Taehyung grows concerned about your shaking state, and engulfs you in his arms. You nuzzle into his chest and sob unapologetically, quivering in his embrace. His baritone voice filters in over the pouring rain, soothing you. "I'm sorry, Y/N. That’s not what I meant. I'm sorry you went through that alone." 
 You both remain like that for a while, only the sound of droplets sliding down the bleacher tarps and draining against the pavement. His large hands cradling your body feel foreign then, but it wasn’t unwelcomed. Your nerves calm down when he squeezes you a little harder, and you inhale his heady cologne. 
 His voice pierces the silence. “Are you… are you thinking of keeping the baby?”
 Appalled, you glower at him with boiling wrath. “Taehyung, if you tell me to get rid of this baby for even a second, I will tear your balls off and sell them on the fucking black market.” 
 Taehyung’s eyes fearfully widen—he instantly denies you. “No, Y/N. What the fuck? I would never ask that of you, and you know that.” 
 Acquiescing, your mind still rages with provocative thoughts. Once you register the gravity of this situation, soon, agonizing tears escape your eyes, and it was only Taehyung’s thumb swiping them from your cheek that pulls you out of your strife. 
 “What are we going to do, Tae?” You ask, voice thick with emotion. “What are we going to do?” 
 Shaking his head, Taehyung peers at the ground, his expression bleak. He tugs on his bottom lip as he holds back his own tears. “I don’t know, Y/N.” He says, vulnerable eyes finally meeting yours, and for the first time in all the years that you’ve known Taehyung, you see him break. “I don’t know.” 
 It's the waiter setting your food down that fishes you out of your thoughts, startled. You notice you’d impolitely drifted off, clearing your throat to thank the kind server. 
 Once chewing sounds fill the unusual air between you and Taehyung, you realize he’s grown quiet, too. Perhaps you're not the only one who's strolling down memory lane. 
 "So... Daisy’s been drawing." You throw it out there, Taehyung’s once distracted eyes focusing on you again. 
 “Oh, hey, that’s great to hear. Does she rival Picasso like we always said she would?” Taehyung playfully pays homage to an ancient conversation between you two. You recalled it happening when you waited together at the Planned Parenthood health clinic with him, discussing how a child of your making could possibly rival Picasso with your combined talents. 
 It helped ease the grave situation at the time. 
 "She really does," you smile to yourself. "She's... so incredibly talented, Tae. She draws things that are so abstract and yet sound, and she's so creative." You gush about her, a proud grin gracing Taehyung's handsome face. 
 "She really is just like you, then." 
 You become bashful, tutting him. "No way, she gets her talent from you." 
 Taehyung harmlessly scoffs. "Please, we all know the talented one was always you, Y/N." He assures. "I hated admitting it, but I always knew it was true." 
 "Wow, your younger self would hate you right now." 
 "Yeah, well, my younger self was stupid." 
 You gently twirl your fork in your mouth once Taehyung takes a bite of his steak. He leans back as he chews, eyeing you carefully. 
 Taehyung watches you play with the utensil, flitting between your mouth and your eyes. The heat of his gaze is intoxicating, riveting. "Do you remember sophomore year? Namjoon's pool party?" 
 The second he brings it up, you snort. "No fucking way you're bringing that up." 
 "I have to, strawberry shortcake. It's the funniest story on Earth." 
 You roll your eyes as your fork falters from your mouth. You couldn’t believe he still stuck with calling you ‘strawberry shortcake’ after you became a cake maker. Unoriginal. "What was funny? The way you gave me a sore throat after fucking my face in his bathroom or Namjoon finding us screwing over his myth & lit paper?" 
 Taehyung immediately breaks out into infectious laughter, and he hides his precious smile behind his fist. "Shit, the look on his face when he found me balls deep inside you over his Cupid & Psyche analysis. I'll never forget it." 
 "Get out. I’ll always remember you saying that us fucking over it was a good secondary source for ‘passionate love’.” Taehyung immediately snickers, and you need to slap a palm over your mouth too, your own laughter undeniable. “And really? No regard for my throat after you destroyed it?" 
 "Hey, didn't I bring you food and medicine for over a week and watch Jeopardy with you every night?" Taehyung reminds you, and you reluctantly roll your eyes, folding your arms. 
 "I remember something along those lines, but mainly us bickering over answers." 
 Taehyung gently laughs, reaching over the table to sip some of his water. You abhor the way it causes his Adam's apple to bob, only emphasizing the Godly carving of Taehyung’s neck. You were always so weak for his neck. 
 "You're right. I also recall our Mario Kart session ending up with me eating you out until my jaw hurt. It was your revenge, remember?" He adds. 
 You wheeze, flashing back to that steamy night. "And Mona ended up catching us in the act, too." 
 "Shit, we really had a bad rep for getting caught, huh?" 
 "It's no wonder everyone voted us best couple when we hated each other's guts." 
 You and Taehyung chortle together before settling down, slowly working through your dinner. 
 "Us as a couple... huh?" Taehyung muses, his eyes focusing on the table cloth before despondently taking another bite of his steak. You similarly toy with your steamed broccoli. 
 "A couple... yeah." 
 Taehyung snorts. "A couple of fuck buddies, maybe." 
 He makes you snicker despite your downcast mood. "We always did end up like that, didn't we?" 
 "Yeah," he agrees, flitting up to find your expression mirroring his; hesitant and nostalgic. "It always started with you calling me a dick every time I hated on your sketching." 
 You stifle a laugh. "You're right. Then you'd say something about actually having a huge dick and when I asked you to prove it, you'd kiss me before I could say anything else." 
 "Your lips were always just really fucking kissable, especially with the amount that you ran your mouth." Taehyung waves around his cutting knife and you send him a glare, but he remains unthreatened, and rather laughs. Your eyes lock with his intensely as you bite back a grin, his own flitting towards your mouth, gently flickering with desire, before he focuses on his food. 
 "They still are..." he murmurs. 
 You catch that despite his low volume, heart smiling within your chest. "That all… stopped being fun and games though, huh?" 
 Taehyung nods. "Yeah, after we had Daisy." 
 "After we had Daisy..." you repeat, tired of your meal. Your mind flashes through the last five years of your life with Daisy. To say it was tribulating is an understatement; ever since you had her, your life has completely transformed. 
 You were never able to finish school, and all the future plans you had dissipated into thin air. Your scholarship for a sculpting program in France was snatched from your grasp, and Taehyung's full-ride to the Glasgow School of Art went kaput, too. 
 Most of your memory consists of fights with Taehyung; distressing nights where you both angrily discussed the outcomes of your futures, finances, how to manage the custody and care of Daisy despite having your individual dreams as prodigy artists— how to live as normal 21-year olds with her in the picture. 
 What was even more ambiguous was your confusing relationship with one another. 
 You knew you loved him. You discovered that somewhere along the twelve years you’ve known him; it wasn't a hard-to-swallow pill. It was rather the kind that you knew you needed to take, but could never will yourself to do so. You were aware your heart would always belong to him, but loving Taehyung was dangerous. 
 Loving Taehyung meant facing all the hardships, challenges, and the reality of your changed lives; it meant sacrificing the comfort of your lifestyle only to float just above subsistence. As much as you two were fully capable adults, sometimes you believe it was the youth in the impossible pair of you that perpetuated the fights, the yelling, the unnecessary drama. 
 The days Taehyung couldn't handle juggling his two part-time jobs, deadlines for his art applications and portfolios, the nights he came to you in agony, with sheer stress weighing his shoulders down. The times he hated himself for not being absent for most of Daisy's firsts, too busy trying to be the father he wanted for your little family. 
 His descent into smoking and the impossible addiction he suffered—he was just so young. 
 Arguments concerning your futures were always explosive. The horrific fight you found yourselves in when you proposed moving to France for your sculpting opportunity, and Taehyung couldn’t stand the idea of uprooting everything you had both built with Daisy here. 
 When Taehyung declared that he was fed up with everything and intended to move to Scotland for his apprenticeship, he had no remorse when you begged him to stay. 
 You went two months without speaking to each other before he showed up at your front door again—he couldn’t abandon Daisy. 
 Sure, with being close to one another and sharing the same pressurizing situation, sex became something that at least bound you two together; it was what landed you here in the first place. The sex was casual, convenient, nonchalant rather than intimate or romantic. Your love lives nose-dived after having Daisy anyway—sharing that you had a 2-year-old child at the ripe age of 23 was never a great way to get laid. 
 So finding yourselves in each other’s sheets became entirely normal; the sex was comfortable, familiar. You understood each other better than anyone, and it was nothing more, nothing less. But even if Taehyung ended up with his fingers shoved inside you beyond an amount you can tally, and you’d memorized every vein on his dick after sucking it numerous times, you two were still impossible. 
 The amount of instances of your schedules conflicting and someone couldn't look after Daisy. Informing your families about your accidental pregnancy, earning the judgemental looks from everyone on campus, sharing the parental responsibilities, the expenses. There wasn’t a single moment where stress wasn't at the forefront of your minds, breeding God-awful tension, hatred and resentment between you two. 
 It was the worst whenever it came to Daisy. 
 What was best for her was your number one priority, that was something you both gladly shared, but the one thing you two could never see eye-to-eye on was parenting her. 
 "Don’t tell me how to parent my kid." Taehyung spits. 
 "She’s not your kid, she’s mine.” You stress. “I'm the one who takes care of her while you’re out doing as you goddamn please." 
 "She's my daughter as much as she is yours. And do as I please? I'm trying to keep this family afloat by working two jobs!” 
“Oh please, save me the sob story, Tae. You’re the same fucking man who’d use his money to buy a pack of cigs instead of Daisy’s baby formula!” 
Fuming, Taehyung accusingly points his finger. “Don’t you dare throw that shit in my face. You know I’m-I’m trying to stop.” Taehyung swallows harshly. “You have no clue how hard I’m trying... the amount of things I’ve sacrificed for you and her.” 
“And you think I haven’t, huh? You think I haven’t given up everything just for you and her? Just to give her the life she deserves?!” You screech.
“And you think I don’t do the same?!” Taehyung’s voice booms in the room. “I'm trying to provide for you and her because I know it's my responsibility as the father. I’m trying my best!" 
 "Then just fucking drop the responsibility, Tae! I told you from the beginning I didn't fucking need your help. You never needed to put yourself through this stress. You didn’t need to stay, you would’ve never developed your addiction, you would’ve been happier... you would’ve been so happy...” Sobs muffle your voice then, chest congested with utter misery. “Please don't try... don’t try to make me feel sorry for you!" 
 "Drop-drop the responsibility?” Taehyung’s disbelief burns in his eyes. “Are you fucking serious, Y/N? She's goddamn half of me!” 
 “And? Do you think I asked for any of this? That I asked to get stuck in this impossible fucking situation with you of all people?” 
 “Do you think I asked for this, too? Are you forgetting that we both decided to have sex that night? That we both share her as a responsibility now?" 
 "And I don't care! I don't care anymore because if all we're ever going to do is disagree then there's no need for us to work together. I can't do this." 
 "Yes we do, Y/N. We work together because that is what our daughter deserves, because we fucking owe it to her." 
 Taehyung drops Daisy's toys on the couch that storming night, and grips your arms seriously. "Listen, Y/N. We both made the decision to bring Daisy into this world, and it'll always be our responsibility to take care of her together, no matter what happens between us." 
 You sniffle as you avoid his eyes, tears cascading down your cheeks. "I don't care if we hate each other, if we can never see eye-to-eye, if there even comes a point when you can’t stand seeing my face. We do this for her, got it?" 
 Inhaling deeply, you don’t answer, and Taehyung's voice becomes authoritative, his tone sharper. "Y/N, look at me right now." 
 You do, tears shaking in your eyes as you wipe them away. "No matter what, we do this for Daisy, right?" 
 Swallowing your turbulent emotions, you nod for him. "Yeah… we do this for Daisy."
 Even if your time raising Daisy together was inopportune, there were genuinely beautiful moments, too. The time Daisy fell ill and you drifted off on Taehyung's shoulder while the both of you stayed overnight at the hospital for her.
 When Daisy crawled for the first time, when she bumped her head for the first time, even when she kicked inside your stomach for the first time. They were all moments with Taehyung that felt infinite, because despite it all, you loved him, and sharing a child with him left your heart devastated in the most intricate of ways. 
 Despite not knowing his true feelings for you, you liked to believe Taehyung loved you, too. It was evident whenever the stress of being a mother crushed you some days, and Taehyung held you as you wept into his chest. When you gave birth and Taehyung unconditionally supported you throughout the entire painstaking experience. Even when he tended to you during your pregnancy and cried for you when birthing complications plagued your delivery, and he nearly lost you. 
You found an entire year later that Taehyung was asked who should be saved in the case of an emergency. 
He chose you. 
 "You remember the first time Daisy ever said her first words?" Taehyung's deep, baritone voice lifts you from your clogged mind again, flickering to him dabbing a napkin to his lips. 
 "Yeah... yeah I do."
 "Proof that she loves her dad more." When Taehyung makes the joke, you deadpan immediately and bunch up your napkin, throwing it at him. 
 “Fuck you, she could’ve easily said mama, too.” 
 Taehyung cleverly catches it, chuckling to himself. "Alright, alright. I'll settle on 60/40 then. She loves me 60% and you 40." 
 You pick up your fork and threaten him with it, to which Taehyung instantly surrenders. You both settle down after laughing, Taehyung spotting the unopened wine and reaching over for the bottle. 
 "I'm glad she's all you, though." He muses, unscrewing the wine. He pours some into your glass before tending to his own, softly smiling. "She's beautiful like her mother." 
 His words feel so… different tonight. Sure, you’ve both become less of raging rivals and rather amicable allies that work together for your daughter, but Taehyung’s never been this… romantic, sweet. 
 You wonder what’s gotten into him. 
 Tears manifest in your eyes once the nostalgia catches up to you, and you quickly try to blink them away. "You're making me remember why we named her Daisy." 
 Taehyung sees your teeming emotions as he sets the wine bottle down, his smile sympathetic. "I remember it like it was yesterday." 
 "You didn't have to... you know." 
 "Of course I did..." Taehyung trails, his eyes softly gazing at you, his voice calm and soothing. "How could I not name my daughter the same thing I called my favourite girl?" 
 Flowers blossom inside your chest, sniffling. Daisy; it was the once obnoxious nickname Taehyung gave you in the ninth grade after he found you lying among them during lunch as you sketched away, only to end up having a horrible allergic reaction to the pollen. 
 You laugh now recalling those days. 
 "It's a beautiful name." You muse. 
 "Beautiful names for my beautiful girls." Taehyung charmingly smiles, and you grow bashful at the sight. You’re forced to hide your face behind your hands; Taehyung is deadly when he’s charismatic, it's what drew you to him in the first place despite his venomous wit and narcissistic tendencies.
 "She does miss her dad, though. Do you think you could spend this Wednesday with her?" 
 "Of course, Y/N. Anything for her." Taehyung immediately agrees, lifting his wine glass and bringing it forward. "Wanna toast?" 
 You quirk an impressed brow, lifting your glass and bringing it towards him. "What should we toast to?" 
 "Hmm," Taehyung thinks, rubbing his chin. "You know, I was gonna say to Daisy, since that makes the most sense. But tonight, I think... we toast to something different." 
 Taehyung's eyes suddenly bore into yours, meaningfully and poignantly, and you become lost in the warm, coffee swirls of his irises. "We should toast to us." 
 Admittedly timid, you smile. "We should." You reply, beginning the toast. "To us... trying new things." 
 Taehyung grins, adding his own words. "To us giving each other a real chance." 
 Clinking each other's glasses, you never stray away from each other's gaze as you down your wine. Even after your glass meets the table’s surface, your chin fits into your hand as you line the rim of your glass, tilting your head as you peer at him. 
 Taehyung leans back in his seat, his eyes heavy with intensity. He drinks once again, your eyes focused on the way his jaw flexes, and has been the whole night. 
 “Why did you invite me out, Tae?” 
 Taehyung swallows his sip and sets his glass down, licking his lips. “Hm?” 
 “Why did you invite me out tonight?” You query, taking a swig of your cherry Merlot, your gaze still hot on him. “For a date, at that.” 
 “Like we said,” Taehyung inhales deeply before exhaling, his eyes glowing with an intangible emotion as they linger on you. “Trying new things, I guess.” 
 You bite your lower lip, sweeping over the sexy smolder of his expression; he never fucking lost it. He may be much more subdued now, but Kim Taehyung’s charisma is surely undeniable. He has a slightly rugged look to him; light stubble and strong eyebrows, broad frame and muscle. Despite the softness of him being an elementary school teacher, Taehyung is aging like fine wine, and that fires up your lady bits to multitudinous levels. 
 And once you remember that he’s a dad, the father of your child at that, it’s hard to shake the sex appeal of him being a 26-year-old dilf.
 You presume Taehyung mirrors your insatiable feelings. His eyes never fail to glance at your cleavage; your boobs did get bigger after you had Daisy. 
 "What do you say we get out of here?" Taehyung ticks his head towards the staircase, taking the last sip of his wine. 
 You promiscuously dress your tone, crossing your legs as you lean onto the table. "Where exactly to?" 
 His irises become coloured with a certain darkness, one that's thrilling. "I was thinking we take a walk on the beach." 
 Intrigued, you agree. "Anywhere you want to take me, Kim." 
 Wetting his lips, Taehyung carefully scans your facial features before roaming over your body, remaining an extra second on your collar bones before sending you a small smirk, and calling for the cheque.
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 “Fuck, my heels won’t do good in the sand.” 
 “I knew they’d end up bothering you.” 
 “And how did you know that?” 
 “Because I know you, Y/N. You hate heels, why’d you even wear them?” 
 “Because I know you, Tae. You like when women wear heels.” 
 “So you wore them for me?” 
 “Shut the fuck up. What do we do now?” 
 “Here, take them off and I’ll carry them.” 
 “Are you sure?” 
 “Of course.” 
 You become giddy. Standing above the boardwalk lining the beach, Taehyung holds out his palm for you to occupy with your heels, his smile warmer than the sun. Sheepishly, you hand the straps to him and he grasps them from you without complaint. You can’t help but consider him the epitome of courteousness. 
 So unlike him. 
 Peacefully promenading down the beach, you and Taehyung breathe in the fresh air as your feet traverse the tufts of sand. It feels tender against your soles, and the evening sun setting illuminates the sky with majestic hues of orange, fluttering your eyes shut when the salty ocean breeze caresses your skin. 
 “It’s been a while since we’ve done this.” You muse. 
 Taehyung peers at your side profile, slowly stepping alongside you. “Done what?” 
 “Just… been in each other’s presence.” 
 Taehyung hums in agreement, nodding. “True, things really changed after I moved out, huh?”  
 “Yeah… we became really distant.” 
 Sighing solemnly, you recall when the feeling of loneliness didn’t consume you when you and Taehyung lived together. Even though sharing an apartment with your irritating rival caused you ear-splitting headaches, small moments of happiness seeped into your everyday lives being parents to Daisy. 
 That feeling of being a team—it was undefeated. Sometimes you were convinced perhaps Taehyung was your soulmate, though you digressed on his behalf. Being with Taehyung would only mean a tragedy, and your messy love life wasn’t something Daisy deserved. 
 It’s not her fault her parents were idiots.
 “Then again, whenever we were together we always ended up either fighting or fucking.” 
 You snort when Taehyung tugs you out of your disquieting thoughts. “Gosh, one of the two F’s, huh? I’ll never forgive Yoongi for that dumb joke; ‘you’ll always find them doing either one of the F’s, fighting or fucking’.” Taehyung guffaws once the words leave your mouth, and his laugh is akin to an angel strumming a harp in heaven.
 “Fuck Yoongi for that. He found us having sex in his room one time and it was over for us.” Giggling at his mimicking tone, you feel a sudden surge of electricity when your hand brushes Taehyung’s. You widen your eyes, swallowing away your shock, because it’s just a simple touch. 
 Surprisingly, you feel the same electric current when Taehyung’s hand brushes yours again. His touch leaves tingles travelling up your arm, observing in your peripheral that he’s… hesitating. He opens and closes his fist, reaching out but aborting his mission at the last second. 
 Finding him endearing, you peer towards the shimmering tides on your left. Suddenly, his warm, slender hand snakes into yours, shocking you altogether. You let a small smile curve your lips then, gently gripping his hand back. You catch the hints of a grin upon his wide lips after you do, too. 
 A silence passes between you two then, though it’s far from dense or prickly, rather soothing, filled with the sounds of the ocean tides crashing upon the shore.
 “I wonder what makes things so different now.” You pierce the quietude. 
 “I mean, we’re still oil and water but… ever since Daisy, ever since you moved out… we’re different. Sometimes I feel like I barely know you as a person…” 
 You recall the last three years or so you and Taehyung decided to split ways. With him physically out of the picture, things became painfully transparent—you and Taehyung will never be. It feels like yesterday you remember handing him the last of his things, and embracing him tighter than you expected when he left—your chest felt empty once he drove out of your parking lot and turned the corner for good.
 Sometimes you’re convinced Taehyung took a piece of your heart with him when he left. 
 “You’re right. I feel like I barely know anything about you anymore, either.” Taehyung adds, squeezing your hand when you shiver. “Other than your number for texting or calling about Daisy, really.” 
 You nod at his statement; he’s correct. You and Taehyung only communicate through calls and text for your arrangements with Daisy. You both still have joint-custody of her and coordinate your days; the weekends for her dad and the weekdays with you, though occasionally Taehyung likes to pick her up on odd weekdays after school for their father-daughter time.
 You were always enlightened that Taehyung never despised or neglected Daisy. He adored her tremendously despite her accidental birth. He always made time for her, and always exercised his effort in the form of unconditional fatherly love. It felt like a blessing. 
 “Pft, all I know about you is the amount of moms that ogle you at Daisy’s school.” You snark. “How’s Ms. Owen doing, by the way? Did she ever catch that squirrel in her garden or is she too busy drooling over you?” 
 Taehyung bellows out a laugh, and it’s like hearing a symphony. “Please, how do you even know that?” 
 “Daisy told me.” You humph, folding your arms. “This Thursday she also told me about all the other mommies always staring at her young daddy and calling him very handsome.” 
 Taehyung stifles a laugh behind his fist, snickering. “Damn, I never really noticed. I’m always too busy talking to Daisy.” 
 You roll your eyes. “What about that Ms. Lucas that always asks you out for a play date with her and her son all the time?” 
 “Stacy?” Taehyung cocks a brow. “Oh gosh, how’d you find out about her?” 
 Taehyung shakes his head. “It seems Daisy’s got some loose lips.” 
 You both chuckle together before Taehyung settles. “It’s honestly nothing. She gets flirty but I always shut her down. I don’t wanna get into a relationship with someone I barely know when my focus is Daisy, you know?” 
 You scoff. “You can say that again.” 
 Taehyung side eyes you then. “Now that I recall, Daisy did tell me about a certain Wooshik at your bakery?” 
 You instantly freeze, caught off-guard. “Wh-what?” 
 “Oh my God, you’re totally flustered. You have a huge crush on him, don’t you?” 
 Glaring at him, you see a hint of some… disappointment in his eyes, but he smiles anyway. 
 You immediately whack his bicep. “Shut the fuck up, asshat. I don’t have a crush on him. He texts me way too much; he’s too persistent. I don’t think he gets the fact that handling the bakery and Daisy is enough for me right now.” 
 The bakery is a bit of a handful for you. You aren’t necessarily well-versed with baking, but with your well-acclaimed sculpting skills, you figured applying for a cake-making position at your local bakery was close enough. Sculpting and decorating cakes quickly became your new muse, and after years of hard work, you have finally earned a senior position. 
 “I completely understand that. Making art lessons for third grade kids is seriously harder than it looks.” 
 You laugh with Taehyung as your feet drag in the soft sand, both of you having unknowingly shifted closer to each other.
 “How’s the bakery, by the way?” 
 “It’s doing well, actually. Recently we had this super popular social media influencer post about us, so business has been booming.” You excitedly tell Taehyung while he whole-heartedly listens, and flashes glimpses at your side-profile. 
 “That sounds lovely, Y/N.” Taehyung grins. “Bet it has to do with that Wooshik always praising your work. What does he call you again as encouragement? ‘The most talented baker in the world’ or ‘the most beautiful baker in the world’?” 
 Gasping, you lift your hand to smack his chest. “Taehyung, how do you know that?!”
 “Like I said, Daisy has loose lips.” 
 You playfully grunt with a roll of your eyes, while Taehyung chuckles. 
 “But seriously… is he… are you guys?” He trails, as though waiting for you to fill in the gaps. 
 You narrow your eyes jokingly. “Why? What’s it to you?” 
 Taehyung’s cheeks redden in colour. “Nothing, I’m just asking.” 
 “Hmm, are you sure? Your cheeks are red, Taehyung.” 
 “No they aren’t.” He instantly denies, his bread cheeks adorably poofing. It always softened your heart how cute he could be despite his sharp tongue, and that he blushed an incredible amount.
 “Yes they are, look how cute you are.” You coo at  him, cupping his cheeks in your palms.
 “Hey, stwop it.” His speech becomes muffled because you’re squishing his cheeks, his lips forming an endearing pout. 
 “Awh, can you say that again?” 
 “Tae~hyung!” You sing-song. 
 “You’re the one that hash chubby chweeks.”
 You gasp. “No I don’t!” 
 “Yes, you do! Where do you think Daisy gets it from?” 
 “No I don’t, I totally lost my baby fat.” You cross your arms with annoyance. 
 “No you didn’t, but it’s cute.” He smiles, fond eyes on you. 
 Grunting with frustration, you immediately start approaching him. “That’s it, give me your wallet. I’m chucking it in the ocean.” You reach for his pocket, Taehyung theatrically exclaiming as he fights you off. 
 “Not my wallet, you thief. Unhand me!” 
 You and Taehyung begin struggling against each other then; you whacking him incessantly and grabby hands aiming for his pocket, all while he holds you back. It’s hard to not laugh when his strength clearly trumps yours, but he’s letting you have some fun. 
 “Alright, that’s enough.” Taehyung suddenly declares, and he grabs hold of your hip and wrist before hoisting you up. 
 You yelp once you’re dangling off his broad shoulder, your world now entirely upside down. “Taehyung! What the fuck?!” 
 He maniacally laughs. “Haha, this is what you get when you point out that I blush.” 
 You exclaim distraughtly, smacking his back. “Ugh, Tae, it’s not my fault you’re a guy that actually blushes. It’s cute!” 
 “And your cheeks make your face cute.” He cleverly argues.
 You’re seconds from rolling your eyes and hollering at him like a lunatic, but he doesn’t give you time. Instead, Taehyung adjusts his hold on you and begins walking… towards the shore. 
 “Oh-Oh Taehyung, you are not–” 
 “What? Sorry, I can’t hear you over all these waves.” Taehyung exaggerates.
 “Oh my fucking God,” you curse, despising his theatrics because you know what he’s going to do. “Get me away from the shore or I’m going to kill you!” 
 Taehyung heartily laughs. “Please, kill me then. I wouldn’t necessarily mind dying by your hand.” Right when you’re going to retort, Taehyung suddenly lands a palm on your ass for a smack. You squeak, becoming the epitome of a babbling fool. 
 “Wh-why… what was that for?!” 
 “Your ass looks good in this dress, I forgot to tell you. Kind of been wanting to spank you all day.” He openly admits, and even though your face is as flustered as ever, you become alarmed, spotting the wet sand he’s walking on now. 
 “Kim Taehyung, I swear if you–” 
 All of a sudden, Taehyung charges towards the shore and contrary to your belief, he doesn't throw you in, rather bolts directly into the water with you in tow. All you feel is a surge of cold waves attacking your skin. You squeal before going under, but Taehyung’s hands remain snug on you, keeping you close. 
 Once you resurface together, Taehyung is a laughing mess, practically guffawing as he wipes water from his gorgeous face. You, however, are not amused, mouth agape at his sheer audacity. 
 “Taehyung, are you crazy? Now we’re all wet!” 
 “I mean, I was always a pro at getting you wet, wasn’t I?” 
 Blinking, you can’t believe his smug face right now. The father of your child really just said to you, and he looks every bit proud having said it. Scoffing, you glide your hand across the water and splash him, Taehyung exclaiming once the droplets smack him in the face. 
 “Haha, that’s what you get for getting me wet, literally.” 
 Swiping the water from his face again, Taehyung then cards his fingers through his soaked locks, casting it all away from his face. The sight you behold then is undeniably sweltering, so much so that your underwear dampens, and not because you’re both currently submerged in water. 
 Taehyung’s exposed forehead haunts you, the hair pushed back from his ethereal face now revealing intimidating eyebrows, his sculpted face structure, and piercing eyes. He licks his lips as he becomes fixated on you, too, just when you glide a hand through your hair. 
 The sunset shimmers between your two bodies, the water reflecting its yellow and orange rays as it slowly tucks itself behind the horizon. The breeze is comforting, the water is lukewarm, and all you can focus on is the sky within Taehyung’s eyes, yearning to become lost in them and never find your way out. 
 You’re still in love with him, you know it.
 You know it because your heart is racing, and it’s because he’s right before you. You know it because when his hands slowly curl around your waist, and he pulls you close, feel your wet chest against his, a current trickles throughout your body, igniting you. You know it because when you’re caught in this meaningful, silent gaze with him, all you feel is the urge to mumble those three words that have ruined you for years, and connect your mouth with his. 
 “You wanna know something funny?” Taehyung suddenly asks. 
 Your palms naturally cradle his biceps, mesmerized by him. “What?” 
 “People never believe me when I say I have a little girl, a five year old at that.” He speaks calmly as his hands cup your waist, and you slowly wind your arms around his neck
 You breathe a laugh, admiring the glowing, honey hue of his eyes in the golden sunrays. “What do you tell them?” 
 “That I…” Taehyung trails, his eyes falling. “ I made a mistake once… when I was young.” 
 Slightly disheartened, you swallow dryly. Your eyes divert themselves solemnly, and Taehyung immediately perks up. 
 “But that it was the best thing that ever happened to me… Y/N. You and Daisy.” He speaks so calmly, so sweetly, he nearly calls your attention back, but you still feel wounded. 
 Suddenly, you feel Taehyung gently grip your chin, thumb and pointer finger fitting snug. He turns you to face him, and when you meet his eyes, they’re dripping with sincerity that could last generations. “I tell them it’s the most amazing mistake I ever made.” 
 Feeling lighter, you softly smile at him. Taehyung appreciates the view, his eyes focused on your lips. He can see the small droplets of water gracing your eyelashes, and he’s never seen anyone more beautiful.
 “What do you say about the mom?” 
 Taehyung chuckles a little, kindly stroking your skin. “I say she’s a pain in the ass.” 
 Scandalized, you move back to splash water on him again, but Taehyung catches you all while laughing endearingly, and that sound is the most familiar, comforting thing you’ve ever heard. “Woah, okay! I’m kidding, I don’t say that. I tell them…” 
 Again, he’s searching your eyes just as much as he seems to be searching for the right words. He gently bites his lower lip, switching between your irises and your tempting lips. 
 “I tell them…” He moves forward, his mouth just inches from yours. His breath tickles your lips, and your heart has never felt so full. “She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, and I’m thankful everyday she’s the mother of my daughter.” 
 In the heat of the moment, all you know, see, and feel is Taehyung. The water sloshes about as he decreases the space between you two, and you’re engulfed by his entrancing proximity, his ability to reel you in so easily, and you never mind being enticed. 
 Before you can breathe again, a small chuckle escapes you. You can’t believe this moment at all, and it’s almost funny to you how in love you are with him despite having hated him for years. 
 In all your thinking, Taehyung suddenly leans forward and pecks your lips, planting the smallest of kisses on you. You instantly become timid. 
 “Hey… you just kissed me.” 
 Impish, Taehyung bites back a grin. “Yeah, I did.” 
 Becoming the equivalent of a bashful, flustered girl, your lips form a pout as you weakly hit his chest. “You’re-you’re not supposed to do that.” 
 “Why not?” He’s radiant at your effort to try and hide your smile, his thumb gliding over your bottom lip.
 You meet his eyes, a little restless in the water because you can feel your body desiring every inch of him, and it’s uncontainable. “Because we don’t know what we’re doing, Tae.” 
 “I know what I’m doing.” 
 You tilt your head, eyes round with curiosity. “What are you doing?” 
 Taehyung glides his hand toward your hair, tucking some loose strands behind your ear. His thumb strokes the apple of your cheek, and his hand on your waist squeezes you tighter, his eyes poignantly searching yours. 
 “I think… I’m falling in love with you again.” 
 Within a hot, intense second, Taehyung lowers himself to your height, and his lips plant atop yours, catching you for a sweet kiss. He moves his mouth with calculated, thoughtful finesse, kissing you tenderly. It only lasts a few seconds before Taehyung pulls away to capture the reaction on your face. 
 You’re stunned, but the good kind. In hindsight, you shouldn’t be doing this with Taehyung at all. You’re both far too confusing and complicated, and kissing wouldn’t make things any clearer. These feelings inside you should be subdued, should be stomped all over and squashed because after finally finding some stability with Daisy, she doesn’t need her parents stupidly navigating their on-off relationship. 
 But when Taehyung kisses you, you feel infinite. The water disappears, the fresh breeze, the wetness, even that sun that’s wishing everyone a goodnight. He is all you feel, and you’d spend this moment chasing that feeling of infinity with him all you desire. 
 Your hands lift to tread through his wet strands, and Taehyung responds by clutching your body closer. You’re pressed up against him, your damp clothes causing your figures to feel as though they’re naked. 
 The gleam in your eyes must’ve told Taehyung that you want this, because without a word, he slowly dips his head to seal his mouth with yours. You sigh into the kiss, Taehyung’s hands stroking your hips, deliberately feeling your wet body before sliding over your ass, and grabbing you with hot strength. 
 You gently gasp into his mouth when his large enough fingers even tease your core, and Taehyung disconnects to breathe, your noses touching. 
 “I have wanted to do that… all fucking night.” He breathes, the droplets upon his face glistening under the fading sunlight. 
 Breaking out into a smile, you chuckle. “Then don’t wait any longer. Didn’t you always like shutting me up with a kiss?” 
 Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Aish, let me do it again.” Is all he says before pressing his lips to yours, and you inhale his kiss like a starved animal. 
 Taehyung has always been a godly kisser; it almost feels like a privilege to be able to mold your mouth with his. He’s sensual and slow, always uses enough tongue, and right now, kissing him after years feels like earning your first sip of water after lying in a desert. 
 His lips are always so smooth, even taste of honey because of the chapstick he uses. You realize he still uses the same brand, and a smile frames your lips in the midst of the kiss. Taehyung feels it and he smiles, too, groping your ass a little tighter as he presses your hips against his, and you shudder when you feel his clothed member. 
 The feeling drives you insane, and when Taehyung angles his head to pry open your mouth with his tongue, you let him slither inside. You taste him plentifully, tongue traversing the corners of his mouth, and he’s delicious. The Merlot is the cherry on top, and before you know it, the kiss was deep and intimate. 
 Taehyung groans into your mouth when he presses you flat against his crotch, maneuvering your hips to meld with his. You sigh when his tongue swirls around yours and the kiss becomes sloppy, tasting him for all he’s worth. 
 Suddenly, Taehyung disconnects from you, even leaving a trail of saliva between. His large hands mold to your thighs, settling underneath with a tight grip. 
 His lips graze your ear. “Jump.”
 He whispers it so huskily that you succumb right away, leaping into his arms and straddling his torso. The water splashes as he catches you effortlessly, and you attack each other for more insatiable kisses. You giggle sometimes when the waves crash upon your making out, entangled bodies, even squealing when it rises too high and drenches you both. 
 Taehyung laughs with you, and playfully pretends to toss you into the water, but you immediately cling to him like a koala. 
 “Taehyung, don’t you dare!” 
 “Oh c’mon, just once?” 
 “Not if you want to die!” 
 He finds your scared eyes adorable, and he can’t manage how closely you’re cradling him, as though right now, he’s all you need. But especially, when you turn your head and your big eyes peer at him as though he’s your world—Taehyung’s left a pining, mushy mess. 
 Returning for more kisses, he peppers you with sweet pecks before he treads out of the water. You gasp when the waves almost drench you two again, but Taehyung escapes to the beach like a champ, looking towards you before his laughter spills, and so does yours. 
 Taehyung leans down and snatches up your heels that he left in the sand. He supports you with an arm as you cling to him, lips finding his neck for kisses. Taehyung groans when you suckle on his sweet spot. 
 “Fuck, Y/N. You know how I feel about neck kisses.” 
 “I know.” 
 So you continue to pleasure him with a giddy grin, Taehyung even craning his neck for more. You’re far too distracted with kissing him to realize Taehyung has begun walking down the beach. 
 “Taehyung, where are we going?” 
 “To the beach lodging. I need you asap.” 
 Kittenish, you excitedly lean in and press your mouth against his. Taehyung chuckles as he kisses you back, relishing in your sweet lips until he reaches the lodging area. 
 He climbs the stairs with you in tow and reaches the front wooden porch. Thankfully there isn't company, but it’s not like you’d care when you’re with Taehyung, anyway. He sets you down on your feet, and you disconnect from him to gain your breath, but Taehyung provides no time. 
 He instantly hurtles you back against the entrance’s wall, and you moan into his mouth when you hit the surface. With his hands either side of your head, he goes in for the kill, his lips consuming every corner of your mouth. 
 He canvasses down your jaw at some point, and when he reaches your throat, your moans are uncontainable. 
 “Fuck… fuck, Tae…” 
 “Mm,” he hums satisfyingly, his hand without your heels gliding up your body to tighten around one of your breasts. “I know.” 
 You shudder when he finds your weak point and suckles at it, gently biting, licking and sensually kissing you. His large, warm palm skillfully gropes your tit, locating your nipple and even tantalizingly grazing it as you moan—your panties are a fucking mess. His decadent lips travel down your neck and visit your cleavage, stuffing himself between your boobs for kisses.
 Once you hear people chattering in the distance, you’re brought back to your senses, and you tap Taehyung’s shoulder. “Tae.. we should.. inside.” 
 Lifting himself, Taehyung pecks your lips as his hungry eyes meet yours, and his pupils are intensely dilated. “Let’s go.” 
 Bursting through the doors, Taehyung wastes no time in dragging you towards the front desk. You’re both restless after Taehyung taps the bell to alert a worker. You’re clinging to his arm as you buzz, your horniness far too insatiable now. Taehyung similarly fidgets, impatiently drumming his fingers across the desk. 
 You both meet each other’s promiscuous gazes and giggle.
 A worker finally appears, and Taehyung’s quick to take action. He speedily snags you two a decent room for two and barely acknowledges the worker, hastily snatching the keys.
 Taehyung leads you through the first floor, and once you both spot a vacationing family crowding the elevator, the father of your child grunts with annoyance and tugs you towards the stairs. 
 You gasp once you start ascending with him, your giddy chuckles spilling everywhere. “Tae!! I’m not even wearing shoes!” 
 “Then come here!” Taehyung halts all movement and twirls you into him. You crash into his chest and he steals your mouth, his hands snug on your ass again. He kisses you like that all the way up the stairs, both of you idiotically laughing.
 When you and Taehyung pile into the room, he wastes no time in shoving you up against the door to shut it, his breaths hot and heavy as he makes out with you. He drops your heels somewhere and he chucks off his own sandy shoes and socks. 
 Again, he tugs at the back of your thighs and you leap into his arms, Taehyung leading you both towards the bed. 
 You expect your back to crash into sheets, but Taehyung instead settles your ass on the end of the bed. Delirious, all you can catch is a fireplace in the main area, perhaps a general understanding of your room, but that’s all useless when Taehyung’s eyeing you carnally, and slowly settling onto his knees before you. He spreads your legs apart and peers at your clothed sex, the action alone causing sticky essence to coat you. 
 “Tae,” you gasp, utterly weak for him from this angle. You brush his wet hair out of his face, but it only reveals his dangerously captivating gaze, his loud desire. 
 “It’s been way too long since I’ve done this to you.” He breathes, before his hands travel up your skirt and hook onto your panties, peeling them down your ass. He bunches up your dress with your help, and his arms hook underneath your thighs, locking you in place.
 Once your glistening, wet pussy is in his sight, he groans deeply. “Fuck me, you’re still so puffy and pretty.” His hot breath caresses your sensitive folds, and you feel alive. 
 “Taehy-” But you don’t finish, because after he gently thumbs your clit, he kisses your core. 
 You shiver, hyper-sensitive to his every breath. Taehyung’s mouth then slowly envelopes your pussy, and begins softly suckling on your labia. When his tongue comes out to play and glides through your folds, you grip the tresses of his hair so hard that he moans. 
 “Fuck, Tae!” You let out a shaky sigh, spreading your legs wider to provide him better access. He’s ravenous, the tip of his tongue toying with your clit as though it were a joystick, the thick, wet muscle ravaging your fluttering pussy hole. 
 Ecstasy leaks into your bloodstream, high off the feeling of his mouth devouring your sex. All you can hear are the wet, sloppy noises of him eating you out and his deep, throaty groans—it’s glorious. His tongue sends currents throughout your body, even bucking your hips forward just to feel his nose against your clit, tugging his fluffy locks. 
 “Shit, Y/N, you still taste so fucking good.” He praises, repeatedly attacking your cunt with wondrous kitten licks. “Tell me, have you been with other men? Have they eaten you out this good?” Taehyung asks, his voice slightly raspy and deeper than the ocean. 
 “What-why do you care?” 
 “Because you’re riding my face like a deprived slut,” Taehyung dives in to slide his tongue through your sex again, and you internally shiver. “Do you still like my tongue that much, baby?” 
 The ‘baby’ instantly melts you. You can’t even speak, truth be told, you haven’t been eaten out properly in ages. Your previous partners were bland, average men who lacked the skill. 
 And again, Taehyung has too wicked of a tongue. 
 Your silence earns you a smack to your thigh, Taehyung soon groping them. “Or have the men you been with just been incompetent, dumb fuckers that never granted you the pleasure, baby?” 
 Nodding to that incessantly, Taehyung’s eyes widen in shock, and he momentarily stops shoving his face into your heat. “You’re kidding… they didn’t eat you out?” 
 Finally meeting his eyes with your hooded ones, your face becomes flustered. You embarrassingly shake your head, hating that your desperation is sticking out like a sore thumb, but you have no control over it. 
 Taehyung actually scoffs. “No fucking way…” He shakes his head, laughing dryly to himself.
 Slightly confused by his words, you’re not given the chance to question him when Taehyung suddenly tugs you towards him. You fall into his lap with a squeak, and he shuffles back onto the soft sherpa rug upon the floor. 
 He unexpectedly leans back until he’s comfortably laying on the rug. Perplexed, you query him. “Taehyung, what are we doing?” 
 “You’re riding my face.” He declares, already positioning you above his chest, but you deny his movement with shock. 
 “But-But I-” 
 Taehyung’s hands travel up your body and hook onto the buttoned neckline of your summer dress. He impatiently tugs open the clasps, and your bare breasts spill out. You gasp, but Taehyung softly groans as he gropes your boobs, and you become the epitome of malleable clay in his hands when he grazes your nipples. 
 “Get on my face, Y/N.” He coos, and his gentle eyes compel you. “I’m eating you out in the best way possible. Has a man even let you sit on his face?” 
 “That-that’s not the point, and no way. I don’t wanna suffocate you.” You scramble to deny him.
 “To be honest, I wouldn’t mind if you did. I’m obsessed with your ass and thighs.” Taehyung shamelessly  admits.
 You gasp as you whack his shoulder, and Taehyung’s all giggly underneath you before he’s all business. “But seriously, hop on right now or I’ll spank you. I’m making sure you see stars tonight.” 
 Rolling your eyes, you huff. “Like you’ll even make that happen.” 
 “Our art school days beg to differ.” 
 Scorning him with angry eyes, you move to hit him again when suddenly, Taehyung grabs a hold of your wrists. He tugs you forward and grips your hips, mounting your pussy just above his mouth, and he licks his lips like a starved man. When you attempt to fight him, Taehyung marks his words by landing a firm smack to your ass. 
 You immediately squeak. “Tae!”
 “God fucking dammit, you still drip like honey too.” And Taehyung plops you down over his lips. You shudder so badly you nearly fall forward, but balance yourself on your palms and knees. 
 You feel colours explode between your thighs, hot spikes of arousal spreading across your skin. You’re just so sensitive down there, and when you feel his tongue lapping at you, his lips suckling and teasing your clit, you’re far too deprived to deny yourself his pleasure; especially when he moans to the taste of you, and the vibrations are otherworldly. 
 Once you peek down, you realize that your skirt covers his stunning face. Acting on impulse, you grab the hem and instantly strip off your dress, leaving you naked atop him. You breathe heavily once your damp skin is kissed by the cold air in the room, but Taehyung’s mouth making out with your sex is hot enough. Your eyes meet, and something carnal overwhelms you when you see how much he enjoys this. 
 Desirously, you begin rocking your hips over his face, riding him to the rhythm he flicks his tongue out and over your folds. Taehyung’s hands on your thighs help you along, guiding the motion of your hips.
 “Fuck… Taehyung.” You moan, your fingers messily tugging his hair as he immerses himself in you. 
 Taehyung speaks huskily in between licks. “Keep riding me, baby. Ride me like you used to, don’t be shy.” 
 The ode to your previous escapades years ago coils something inside you, moaning and sighing on repeat as his tongue meets your every thrust. “But-but it’s been years—“
 Suddenly, Taehyung has the audacity to bite your clit, and you instantly cry out. “Taehyung, what the fuck?!” 
 “I don’t care, Y/N.” Taehyung retorts. “You’re right in front of me, and I’m not leaving you this time.” 
 His words furrow your brows, and just as you open your mouth to question him, he speaks again. “Didn’t you always like shutting me up with your pussy, anyway?” 
 Smirking upon recalling the amount of times he ended up between your legs after a disagreement, your resistance crumbles, and so does your sanity. 
 You buckle your knees down and go to town on him, chasing the orgasm that bubbles inside your stomach as you ride his face. Your walls are clenching incessantly, pussy throbbing so badly you begin practically wailing, begging for your release. 
 And it seems Taehyung understands, because he shoves his tongue deeper inside you, teasing and circling your clit much harder than before. He even gets obnoxiously loud, the sloppy wet sounds he produces are nothing short of euphoria. 
 “Taehyung, fuck. Oh fuck me!” You squeal, experiencing cloud nine as ecstasy leaks into your every vein. 
 “Come for me, Y/N.” Taehyung rasps underneath you. “Come for me like you always did.” 
 And when he gently nibbles your clit again, the pain shoots spirals of arousal through your body, travelling up so high it all hits your head. Your hips pick up unimaginable speed, riding his face and nose vigorously until the coil in your gut utterly snaps. 
 Releasing with a shaky, unstable moan, you tremble over his face. Your orgasm sweeps the entirety of your body, not having experienced one this powerful in ages. 
 Climbing off to see the glorious provider of your orgasm, you’re mesmerized by the ethereal image. Taehyung breathes hard and heavy, chest inflating and deflating as his lips glisten with your cum. He eyes you with a shit-eating grin, even licking his luscious lips. 
 You can’t help but want to worship him, leaning over and planting your lips onto his mouth. You cup his cheeks as you weave your tongue with his, tasting yourself on him. 
 Taehyung softly moans into the kiss. You worship his jaw and pulse point next, kissing him where he’s weakest. Your hands roam his body greedily, tugging his shirt out of his waistband and undoing the rest of his buttons. You throw open his shirt and grapple onto his belt, unbuckling it with impatience. 
 Taehyung moans when you unzip his pants, leaning his head back in bliss when you graze his tented crotch. 
 “Fuck, Y/N…” He groans, losing his composure, and now you’re mesmerized by his easy reactions. He appears as though his sanity is hanging on by a thread, forearm thrown over his most likely hooded, delirious eyes. 
 “Fuck, Tae, now you tell me.” You sweeten your tone with seduction, hand sensuously groping his clothed cock through his pants, and he continuously shudders. “Have you been with other women after me? Any of them suck your dick better than me?” 
 Taehyung’s eyes immediately widen, caught like a deer in headlights. You chuckle when his cheeks redden a little, and he averts his eyes. 
 “What-what’s it to you?” He tries countering, and you can’t help but chuckle. Even if he had been with other women, you were confident that nobody gave him head better than you. 
 He always loved when you gave him head. 
 Letting that drive your confidence, you crawl down his body, laying kisses along his sternum, his chest, even teasing a nipple of his, and he shudders with deep moans. You chuckle with your boosted ego, gently pecking his stomach until you reach his faint happy trail, and Taehyung twitches. 
 But you only send him an angelically innocent pout, fingers hooking onto his bottoms to tug down. Once you do, you dig inside for his cock and begin stroking him, pumping his cock until you free it from its confines. Taehyung releases a broken groan as he lifts his head to watch you ogle at his leaking member. 
 He appears divine, practically appetizing the way his pretty dick throbs in your palm and his veins tell you enough about his self control. Taehyung was always the perfect type of big, that kind that teases your cervix and stretches you out divinely; it always felt like a privilege to pierce yourself on him. 
 Taehyung keeps close watch of you, and once he sees your lips descending towards his cock, he shakes his head. “No, no way. I’ll go insane.” 
 You’d really love to grant him mercy with that entreating look on his face, but listening to Taehyung?
 You rarely ever did that. 
 Playfully, you kiss his tip, providing little pecks that cause Taehyung to shudder. You slither your tongue out to play with his slit, fondling his very tip. 
 “Baby… holy shit.” He breathes. “I need your mouth, I need it right now.” 
 He sounds adorable when he begs, and you decide it’s been ages, you might as well grant him mercy. 
 Without a word, you plunge his thick cock into your drooling mouth. You ensure you slobber all over his dick, slowly swallowing him inch by inch before pulling back. 
 You tease him some more, never completely taking him all the way but at least allowing some inches, suctioning your cheeks and swirling your tongue over his elongated member. You use your hand to simultaneously pump him, tending to the inches of his dick you don’t fit until the end. 
 But it seems you’re too good, because within an instant, Taehyung’s fingers card through your hair and with a harsh push, forces your head down as his hips drive up into you, deep. You deep-throat him for all but two seconds before he draws out, the mesmerizing groan he lets out the most beautiful sound in the world. 
 He breathes erratically when he speaks next. “Fuck, Y/N. I’m sorry but… I’m fucking gone. Don’t tease me right now.” 
 It’s a rather kind warning, and you only let it fuel your boldness. This time when you dive in, you begin a bobbing motion over his cock that fits his tip against the back of your throat. Your tongue slithers all over him, swiping his tip deeply as Taehyung suffers underneath you. 
 “Y/N, fuck–” But he’s interrupted when your free hand glides up his thigh and cups his heavy balls in your palm. You give them a light squeeze, and Taehyung turns into the epitome of jelly. 
 “Oh Jesus fucking Christ–Y/N!” 
 He’s losing it, and you love it. His balls must be full of cum waiting to splurge all over your face, and his cock is rock-hard, feeling how tightly the veins strain because he’s already so close. 
 It makes you want to evilly chuckle. 
 You continue vacuuming his cock, hollowing your cheeks for a tight fit and swallowing whenever you can. You choke and gag and splutter around him, tears cascading down your cheeks but you could care less when Taehyung sounded like that—groaning deep and robustly, with need. 
 Taehyung lifts his head to catch a better glimpse of you sucking his dick, and you swear the way his eyes melt was indicative of him being in love. His hand in your hair even begins stroking you affectionately, his voice beyond pleasured. “You’re so good, Y/N. This feels so fucking good, I missed this.” 
 You moan as you bob over his cock—you’ve never felt so adored by him in your life. 
 “You are so fucking pretty,” he lovingly coos, “especially when you’re full of my cock, baby.” 
 Your heart flutters, and you try not to become shy. Your incessant swallowing, bobbing and sucking is working, because there’s a brief moment where Taehyung reciprocates—driving up into your mouth from underneath with a tight grip on your hair, groans feral as he annihilates your throat. 
 But to your surprise, Taehyung actually tugs you off his cock. Perplexed, you shoot him the most shocked, battered face in the world. “Tae, what the fuck?” 
 But he doesn’t answer with words, rather, his actions. All you do is blink before Taehyung disappears from underneath you, and suddenly you’re the one underneath.
 Now your back is against the soft sherpa rug, the warm, tender fireplace crackling beside you two, and it’s as though being wet from the beach didn’t mean a thing. 
 Taehyung’s onyx, though thoughtful eyes bore into yours as he hovers above you, and you feel so loved—protected. “Taehyung, what are you doing?” 
 He hushes you with a finger to your lips, before trailing that hand down your body. Down, down, down until he cups your sex, and you gasp, your eyes hot on each other. 
 Without warning, Taehyung gathers your slick from your cunt, and unexpectedly pushes his fore finger inside the warm confines of your heat. You release a high-pitched moan, squirming once the sensation of something inside you wracks your walls. 
 “Oh Taehyung, oh fuck.” 
 “Shit, I remember how much of a cute slut you become when I finger you.” Shuddering pathetically, you bite your lip to suppress your moans. He’s right; nothing feels better than being fingered by Taehyung
—three of his slender, long fingers alone can feel like a dick. 
 In that respect, Taehyung adds another finger, and you swear stars really do dance circles around you. He encloses you underneath him and breathes hotly against your lips, his intense eyes on you as he observes your every reaction. Perhaps it’s the eye contact that makes everything feel so much more vivid, because your insides are already churning with arousal. 
 He fingers you slowly, deliberately, pecking you in between as your nails scratch down his chest. Taehyung cracks an amused side-smirk. “Still a cute slut.” 
 Whimpering, you hook onto his neck, begging him. “Taehyung, please, you need to get inside me.” 
 “But I already am.” He cleverly counters, kissing you. “Besides, your face is too cute when I finger you. Let me see it longer.” 
 Taehyung then decides to play with fire, and suddenly, his fingers curl into a ‘come hither’ motion, and he massages your frontal walls gloriously, causing your eyes to flutter shut with a drawn out moan. He fucks his fingers deep inside you, and he watches your expression to mirror it, completely entranced by you in the throes of your pleasure. 
 “So fucking cute.” He praises, kissing your forehead. 
 “Taehyung,” your lips tremble, hands clawing at him again. “Inside… your cock… please.” 
 “Please what, Y/N?” 
 “Please fuck me, why won’t you fuck me?” You whimper, round eyes glistening with gentle tears as you yearn for every inch of him. 
 Taehyung exhales shakily, as though you’ll never know how much he desires you, his fingers softly fucking you against the floor. “I want to fuck you, baby, so bad. But I want this to last longer. I don’t want this to end.” 
 There’s a subtle kind of agony in his tone, it pierces your chest. You softly cradle his cheek, and your eyes soften. “Then… then don’t let it.” You coo. “Get inside me, Tae, and don’t let it end.” 
 Lips hanging open as he breathes, his eyes soft, Taehyung molds your mouths for an amorous kiss, and he draws his fingers out of you. He quickly removes his shirt and bottoms, leaving him naked above you, and you can’t help but reach out and roam his figure with fascination.  
 You pulse emptily for him, but find the sight of him pumping his own cock, coating himself with your essence is enough to fill you up again. He keeps an eye on you as he does so, leaning down to peck your lips. “Condom?” 
 You laugh. “Guess that’s not really our thing, huh?” 
 Taehyung chuckles, his smile radiant. “We don’t like when there’s something in our way, do we?” 
 Appreciating his witty mouth, you prop up to kiss him. “Get inside me, baby daddy.” 
 He kisses you back. “Will do, baby momma.” 
 Taehyung then carefully breaches your hole with his tip, and you gasp shakily, stunned by how familiar something can feel, and yet so foreign. Taehyung flits up from between your legs, almost questioning you. You nod in confirmation, and he plunges his fat cock in.
 You both moan harmoniously as Taehyung eases himself inside your velvet sex, sliding gloriously into your walls that smother him tightly. 
 “Oh fuck, Tae…” you sigh. “You’re big, you feel so fucking big.” 
 “I know, baby.” He purrs, nudging your nose with his own. “I’ll go slower.” 
 You shiver when he inserts himself more gently; you feel every inch of him. Taehyung’s hands rest either side of you, gripping the rug underneath you roughly. His eyes are hazed over with pleasure, breathing ruggedly as he sheaths his cock inside you. 
 When his dick is completely enveloped by your pussy, even kissing your cervix, Taehyung groans so loudly the sound alone leaves you panting. He splits you open gloriously, and a burn has never felt so divine. Your legs spread even further apart to allow Taehyung more room, his hips stilled as he relishes in the tight fit of your pussy. 
 “Y/N… shit,” he curses, his forehead falling against yours. “You’re so… fuck.” 
 “So what, Tae?” 
 “So tight… still so warm.” Taehyung seems as though he’s exercising all forms of self-control. You yearn to cradle him closer, whisper to him that it’s alright to move, but your body feels a frigid chill.  
 Your dry skin now feels cold after having been in the sea water, and before you know it, your teeth are chattering. Taehyung’s eyes soften seeing you shiver, dipping down to peck your lips. 
 “Are you cold, baby?”
 You nod your head, and Taehyung lays his chest against yours, engulfing you in his warmth. “I’ll get us a blanket, yeah?” He tells you, reaching over towards the ottoman next to the fireplace. Atop lies some extra blankets for the room, and Taehyung snatches one. 
 His cock still throbs inside your pussy, but you feel comfortable, almost at home. He unfolds the blanket and drapes you both underneath it, his hands fitting against the rug either side of your head again. Warmth immediately envelopes you then, and now, everything feels so much more intimate. 
 The crackling fireplace, the soft blanket covering your entangled, naked bodies on the floor, Taehyung’s sweet eyes that tell you his every story. He brushes some hair behind your ear, his voice soft and tender. “Is that better?” 
 You nod again, and your heart beats erratically. “Please fuck me, Taehyung. I want you so badly.” 
 “I will, baby. I will.” Taehyung assures you, stealing another kiss from you as he draws his cock out of your heat. He watches the inches of his dick uncover entirely, coated in your honey-like essence, before he plunges back in–deep–ensuring he goes slow enough to make you feel every part of him. 
 You moan loudly, legs automatically squeezing around his torso as your hands dig into his chest. “Oh god, Tae…” 
 “Fuck me,” Taehyung breathes. “I’ve been dying to do this.” 
 You become confused, wanting to question him, but Taehyung’s actions do the talking once again. Taehyung carefully manuvers his hips out of you, until he thrusts deeply back into your sex, even angling upwards. He repeats the thrusting again, and again, and again until he adopts a desperate, though affectionate pace of fucking you into the floor. 
 Your breath hitches as his cock fills you up to the brim, Taehyung’s eyes fixated upon your pleasured features. His eye contact is lethal, rarely did you two ever make eye contact when you were fuck buddies—his gaze was far too powerful. 
 You usually had sex in the most obscure places in extremely unintimate positions. There was no need for affection or even room for a kiss sometimes, it was purely sex, and that’s all. 
 But now, as Taehyung grasps the tufts of the rug above you, uses his strong grip to thrust into your fluttering pussy, relishing in your high-pitched, fucked out moans underneath him, his mouth breathing hotly against yours as he sweats, he feels incredibly infinite. 
 His cock feels decadent, your walls so slick your eyes could water from the sheer pleasure. He grunts and groans and breathes huskily on top of you, his broad body completely covering yours beneath, the blanket adding a sensual kind of heat.
 Taehyung’s flawlessly stroking numerous spots inside you, and you feel everything coming to a head. Your orgasm, your pussy, your emotions. Something about Taehyung fucking you as though he’d die for you elicits strong emotion within your heart—it feels different. 
 You acknowledge that this isn’t just fucking, not at all, this is love. 
 “Taehyung… oh my God… you’ve never-you’ve never fucked me… like this before.” 
 “I haven’t, have I?” Taehyung breathes as sweat beads his skin, driving his hard, leaking, throbbing cock inside you at a divine pace. His elongated member massages your walls wondrously, challenging the confines of your pussy by occasionally burying himself to the hilt, and your back arches off the floor. “I should’ve… I should’ve fucked you like this... sooner. You always deserved it.” 
 “Wh-why? What do you mean?” 
 “Because… you deserved… to be loved, Y/N. Not just fucked.” Taehyung grunts, his strokes soft and yet hard, his hips melding with yours as his cock pummels places inside you unimaginable. 
 “It didn’t feel like that to me, Taehyung.” You assure him, your guts full of his delicious cock. “I never felt used… by you.” 
 “But even then… Y/N… I-I have to tell you something.” Taehyung grips the rug harder and increases his speed, his thrusts losing precision.  Your hands canvas up his smooth, broad back, nails scratching against him as you moan erotically with his movements. 
 “What is it, Tae?” 
 “I-I lied… before.” He struggles to get it out, features painted with distress. “There’s no… again. I-I think I’ve always… loved-” 
 “I know, Tae, I know.” You coo to him gently. Even if hearing him say it would enlighten your soul, deep down, you always knew. You always knew you both had something irreplaceable, and in a way, it feels special enough to be in this moment with him. To feel how much he loves you with just his movements, to feel him prove it to you just like this. 
 Taehyung’s eyes completely soften, hazing over. “I think I always have… I just didn’t know how to tell you.” 
 You smile sentimentally, body bouncing on the floor as Taehyung fucks into your fluttering heat, and you cling to him desparately. “I didn’t either, Tae. I didn’t know how to tell you...” 
 Taehyung breaks out into a grin, his pelvis smacking against yours as he pounds into you, his throbbing flesh rutting inside your walls. You squeeze him so tightly you can feel every vein decorating his member. 
 “You felt… the same way?” He asks. 
 “Of course I did, Tae.” You openly admit, because you’re tired of masking the truth. “I still do.” 
 The smile on his face is radiant, and somehow, someway, his movements begin brimming with affection, with tender love and care that makes your body feel as though it's ascending. 
 While he rocks into you from above, you see his silver-chained necklace dangling from his neck– you’re mesmerized by the charm. 
 “You’re wearing the chain...” You teem with emotion, recalling the memory. You had originally purchased the necklace for Daisy to wear when she was old enough; a small Daisy-like charm upon a thin chain.
 But once you arrived home to your 21-year old rival cradling your baby girl in his arms, feeding her milk as he fondly gazed at her with love as her father, your heart cinched inside your chest. 
 Without a doubt, you gifted the necklace to him. You imbued it with your irrevocable vow to one other—to always remain good parents to Daisy; no matter what trials may come. 
 Taehyung clutches the hanging charm as he passionately rams into you, his otherworldly strokes already spelling your doom, and so does his raspy, emotional voice. “Of course I would wear it, Y/N. It reminds me of you. It reminds me of everything we went through… everything we have.” 
 When Taehyung begins angling upwards and shoving himself deeper, your nails dig into his back, leaving red trails down his skin. Taehyung pecks your lips, reaching over at the nearby loveseat and grasping something. 
 “Lift up, baby.” He instructs, nabbing a soft cushion. “I’m putting this under you.” He sweetly informs, and you comply with a mass of butterflies inside your stomach. Taehyung comfortably sets the pillow underneath your lower back, and you settle over it with ease. 
 Immediately, you shakily gasp, feeling his cock gloriously probe your frontal walls. Taehyung proudly smirks at your reaction, quickening his thrusts into your sex now. He then nestles his palm over your abdomen, gently pushing down to feel every inch of him inside you. 
 You whimper pathetically, body quivering with how heavenly he feels, and Taehyung’s a fond mess for your teary eyes. 
 “I found it, didn’t I?” He huskily whispers against your lips, and all you’re left is a delirious slut when you register that he means your g-spot. He fucks you with vigor now, harder as your desperation for an orgasm increases. He has you in knots, the blanket draping you both along with the pillow on the floor enhancing your every sensation. 
 But you feel the most loved when Taehyung’s thumb delicately begins rubbing your abdomen. Opening your fucked-out eyes, you find him peering at your stomach, and you tilt your head in question. “Tae?” 
 He sadly meets your eyes, and he appears emotional. “Your scar…” 
 You see that he means your c-section scar from Daisy’s birth, and a myriad of feelings flood you. Taehyung swallows as his eyes become moist, biting his bottom lip. “I remember this… I remember when I almost lost you.” 
 Your heart fills with inconceivable hurt, recalling the devastation of your birthing complications. You had been out of it for most of its entirety, while Taehyung faced the harsh reality of your life or death as a mere 21-year-old. 
 You could never imagine his agony, his fear. 
 His head dips with shame, attempting to hide his face. “I never… I never thanked you… for going through that for her. For bringing her into this world.”
 “Tae..” you swallowed thickly, gently sighing with every thrust he fucks into you. “You don’t have to thank me. I should be thanking you.” 
 “No… no.” Taehyung denies, his sensual strokes hitting your very cervix, locking gazes with you. “This scar… it’s everything to me. You gave me a daughter… and I never, I never fucking gave you anything.” 
 The chemistry between you two is sizzling, but the air is thick with intense emotion. You reach out to stroke Taehyung’s cheek and calm him, to tell him it’s okay. It’s endearing when he leans into your palm, and increases the power of his thrusts. 
 The tender fireplace, the addicting heat, the sweat between your bodies, the way he occasionally kisses your lips and buries himself deeply inside you; you’re completely falling into his abyss with no regard for a way out. 
 You wish he could fuck you forever. 
 “You know… you wanna know… why I really invited you out tonight?” Taehyung suddenly asks.
 “Of course, Taehyung.” You coo, hands weaving into his hair as he grunts above you, precisely angling himself inside you. 
 “I looked at my life… and I realized that I’m-I’m fucking stupid.” Taehyung berates himself. “I realized that I don’t want a life without you… or Daisy. That I already have… everything I could ever want with you two. And I’m an idiot… I’m an idiot for leaving.” 
 “Why did you leave, Tae?” Your voice quivers, breasts jostling as he fucks you. “Why did you go?” 
 “Because I couldn’t stand living in our apartment knowing how much I fucking loved you, and I didn’t know if you loved me back.” He admits, shutting his eyes as he breathes hard; his strokes deep and languid. “I couldn’t keep fucking you knowing I was in love. You were better off, too… you and Daisy deserved better than me… so much better. I had to leave.” 
 “No, no way, Tae. Daisy loves you, and I love you. We need you, we’ll always need you.” 
 “But I’m not enough, Y/N. Daisy deserves a better dad.” Taehyung stresses, his voice thick with emotion. “I can barely make ends meet, and you deserve a man who can take care of you… a man who won’t run away from his feelings for you.” 
 Suddenly, you grab Taehyung’s cheeks, your eyes watering as tears flood them. “You are enough, Taehyung. You’re enough… you’re more than enough.” You repeat it just so that he’ll never forget it, because you mean it with all your heart; your body and soul. “You came back to me, didn’t you? And Daisy doesn’t just need a dad, Tae, she needs you, she adores you. And I…” You pause, choking up on your words. “I need you more than I’ll need any other man. No matter our history, how we ended up here… how much we fucked up and made mistakes… there’s no one else I would’ve rather had Daisy with.” You voice sincerely. “She’s ours, and that alone is enough. That makes you enough for me, Taehyung… always.” 
 Taehyung’s emotions are on a highline, but before he can break out the waterworks, he hides his face in your neck and quickens the speed of his thrusts. He worships your neck with deep kisses, and your orgasm begins bubbling inside your stomach, his pelvis rubbing against your clit. He fucks you fast and hard now, almost as though he’s channeling his emotion into his thrusts. 
 And perhaps Taehyung isn’t necessarily fucking you, but making love to you. Is this what he’s been dying to do?
 “Y/N… fuck, she is ours.” Taehyung’s voice breaks, driving himself into your pulsing sex. He even snakes a hand towards your clit, and begins ravaging it for all that’s left.
 “We can try again, Tae.” Your thick voice manages, moaning when his fingers circle your bud. “We can try… to be us again. A family.” 
 He presses deeper against your bundle of nerves, massaging you affectionately—meaningfully as he fucks you. He’s in agony when he speaks. “I want to try, baby. I want to try again. You don’t understand… how much… you and Daisy mean to me. I would die for you… I’d die for you two.” 
 “I know, Tae, I know.” You soothe him, fingers massaging his scalp, your legs locking him in tight. “We’d die for you, too.” 
 Taehyung lifts his head and crashes his lips against yours passionately. You whimper into his mouth, both of you kissing animalistically as Taehyung goes faster, deeper, the pads of his fingers rubbing your clit vigorously as you lose your composure. 
 Your gut is coiling—twisting. Taehyung seems as though he’s going to rip the rug underneath you, bunching it up into his fist so harshly as he fucks you on zealous emotion alone.
 And when he delivers that one sweet, glorious thrust against your g-spot, you orgasm so hard you swear you see stars. Taehyung relishes in your moans, swallowing them all with desperate kisses as he strokes your sputtering pussy walls with his throbbing cock. 
 When you come down, Taehyung’s dick pulses dangerously inside you, his face slick with sweat as he breathes harshly. He peeks between your bodies to himself still lodged inside you, suddenly chuckling. “Hey… wanna go… for baby number two?” 
 Deadpanning, normally you would've hit him, but your delirious, post-orgasm glasses have you chuckling too, hands winding around his neck as your foreheads meet. “Why not? Daisy’s been asking for a brother or sister for a long time now.” 
 Beaming, Taehyung joins your chuckling with his own snigger, and he dips down to steal a kiss from you. “Then what are we waiting for?” 
 Picking up the pace, Taehyung completely annihilates you with an explosive second round that night. You scratch his back so deeply, you’re certain you’re hurting him, but Taehyung doesn’t mind a single bit; it reminds him of how much you need him. He fucks you long enough until his hot seed spills inside you, all while he whispers sweet, sweet nothings in your ear, and every romantic iteration of how much he loves you.
 Daisy beams as she sprints into your outstretched arms, engulfing you in the warmest hug in the world. You hoist her up and clutch her closely, supporting her on your hip. Taehyung smiles endearingly at the sight as he carries your purse in the doorway, Daisy’s pretty doe eyes focus on him. 
 “Daddy! You’re here too?” 
 Taehyung chuckles a little. “Yes, daddy’s here too.” Daisy holds out her arms towards Taehyung, and neither of you can deny her adorable pout. Taehyung immediately grabs her by her sides and smothers her in a hug with abundant kisses, casting her hair away from her face. 
 “Hey, my flower girl. Were you good while mom and dad were away? You better not have caused your aunt Mona any trouble.” 
 “She was an angel as always.” Mona appears from your kitchen, leaning against the couch’s backrest in the living room as she gazes upon your family—her eyes are so incredibly fond. You meet her gaze and smile gratefully. 
 ‘Thank you’ you mouth to her. 
 ‘No problem’ she mouths back, but makes it a statement to add on. ‘By the way, did you and,’ she points towards Taehyung, thanking God that he’s too busy discussing with Daisy how terrible Hans was to Anna in Frozen, because Mona suddenly begins to obscenely smack her palms together, insinuating the action of fucking. 
  You immediately scold her. ‘Mona!’ 
 She shrugs, mouthing harshly. ‘What? You didn’t come back last night. You’re in the same clothes, and your hair looks awful!’ 
 Rolling your eyes, you almost march over to chastise her, but the sound of Daisy’s cheering and clapping call your attention. 
 “Mommy, daddy!” 
 Endeared, you and Taehyung both answer her. “Yes?” 
 “Mommy and daddy came home together,” she pouts, her round eyes softening into the sweetest drops of chocolate. You’re thankful everyday she has her father’s eyes. “Will mommy and daddy always come home together?” 
 Hesitating, you and Taehyung struggle to respond. Taehyung turns to look at you, and you shoot him a similarly rigid expression. At your silence, Daisy’s voice becomes softer, tainted with a sad lilt. “Can mommy and daddy… stay together forever?” 
 It breaks your heart to see the sadness on her chubby face, and Taehyung’s own expression drops. She endearingly nuzzles her temple against Taehyung’s shoulder, and you reach out to hold her dainty little hand. You curl an arm around Taehyung’s bicep and rest your head against him, too, peering up at him. 
 When your eyes meet this time, you and Taehyung exchange a look where you both finally… agree. For once, you see eye-to-eye, and you couldn’t be more glad about that treasured fact.
 Smiling radiantly, Taehyung curls his free arm around your waist and tugs you close, both you and Daisy cradled in his arms. Your heart glows when he speaks next, and by the looks of Daisy’s smile, so does her little one, too. “Yeah, mommy and daddy are gonna stay together forever.” 
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2K notes · View notes
sftykth · a day ago
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part 18 ¥ someone like you
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༄ perfect now
— summary: you have always been taehyungs innocent best friend, so when things take a turn he starts to realise that maybe you are not all that innocent.
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authors note: oh god why is tae acting like a fool again.. let me know ur thoughts so far👀
tags: @n4mina @finelinememories @fertileleaf @yoongiigolden @angelarin @stopeatingwhales @devilsbooksworld @kimxhanbin131 @rjsmochii @pamzn @notvantaes @lovelytaes-blog @ellesalazar @arepabella @onemanbandarmi @pb-n-juju @yoonabeo @pinkish-rue @4vonly @fancycollectormoon @broken-glowsticks @iqraali @persyhange @wrmnssoul
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jtrbluv · a month ago
freefall | kth
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summary: hearing banging noises outside your front door at 11 at night could mean one out of two things. one, you are seconds away from getting chopped up by an axe murderer. two, someone is purposefully being an inconsiderate asshole.
or three, a fratboy from delta phi who goes by the name of kim taehyung faceplants in front of your door amidst a high-stakes game of… hide and seek?
pairing: taehyung x reader
genre: fluff, smut (pretty tame tbh! cuz it’s my first time eek), comedy, college!au, fratboy!au
word count: 10k
warnings: RATED 18+, grinding, dryhumping, palming, mentions of drugs and alcohol (yk regular frat shit), swearing, taehyung is a gentleman fr tho my gawd with a big co-
A/N: i’d just like to thank everyone for the immense amount of support or else i would have never had the confidence in myself and my writing to try to create and post something of this nature. i hope u reading as much as i enjoyed writing this fr! i’d like to give huge shoutouts to some special peeps that were with me throughout the process of me writing this: LINH !! @latetaektalk , i’ve absolutely adored u and ur work for the longest time and u beta reading my work meant the world, truly. SOULMATE! @pjmsdior , who always looks over my work for me and is just the kindest and cutest soul. meekers @tomotae , slay i make u read all my work but im finally writing smut now duh, she is very happy for this monumental event the most i think. and last but not least the bestie 4L @koushiningg , whom i made read this last night at their house which was the funniest shit ever. once again, hope u enjoy reading!!! sending luv always, jumi <3
taglist: @nap-of-a-starr @ppeachyttae @tetesland @taestrwbrry @je0nmin @rooo-tah @delusionalsnack (not working) @jeontier @taeshobipop​
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This was the most serenity you’ve felt in weeks. 
With finals out of the way and your only other roommate currently out of your shared apartment to attend her night lecture (bless her poor soul), you find yourself curled up on the old, faded forest green loveseat that whimsically resided in the living room. 
Typically, with the layout of the room, there would possibly be a TV, perhaps a bookshelf or a large potted plant even, to fill the rather large empty space between the loveseat and the wall, but instead there was just a small, wooden coffee table you had found at the thrift store and a trusty projector atop of it. It was definitely one of the smartest investments you and your roommate had made for the apartment, and next to the coffee maker, it was the mostly frequently used appliance in your guys’ apartment. 
Since it was a universally known fact that college students still need their dose of media and 3am netflix binge watching, you two couldn’t do that sans TV, so a projector was the next best thing. It could connect to your phones, was portable, and had an HDMI port. You could go on and on, really.
What also could go on and on, was your stomach, apparently. Because it was currently rumbling like there was an exhaust built inside it, and the engine had just turned on and revved for ten seconds straight. 
Staring down at your clothed stomach in slight awe at the sounds it could produce, you pat it once before pushing yourself off the fraying green fabric. Opening the pantry closet, your eyes immediately scan for tonight’s dinner. Ramen. Wow, what a surprise. 
On the days you were feeling extra fancy, you would take the time to chop some meat up, maybe a few vegetables, and add some eggs as well.
But not tonight. Your stomach can vouch, and it was demanding for it to be filled in the next few minutes before you would have to reap the consequences of your untimely eating habits.
You grab the first brand you see and make a beeline to the stove, quickly filling a pot with water and setting it onto the counter. 
Instead of waiting in front of the pot until it comes to a boil, you grab your laptop and blanket and start setting up your impromptu, solo movie night. 
As you grab your belongings and start to set up in the living room, the sound of quickening footsteps comes nearer, accompanied with a loud thud! A guttural groan is heard soon after, and you gasp to hear how close in proximity the sound was coming from. You could swear they were right in front of your door. 
The incident startles you to your core—making you chuck the blanket and phone in your hands towards the loveseat. Thank God your blanket saves the phone’s fall, letting out a sigh of relief as you examine the screen before hastily shoving it back into your pocket, nearly missing the flap of fabric and chucking your phone towards the ground and at your foot. 
Grabbing a large umbrella from the corner of the living room, you slip your hood onto your head while holding the umbrella defensively in front of you. Except you look anything but intimidating or akin to a Star Wars Jedi Master holding a lightsaber. 
The noises outside of your apartment have relatively dwindled down, but the fear in your system has done everything but. 
Your clammy hand keenly curls around the doorknob as you shut your eyes and take one deep exhale. The grip you have around the doorknob and the umbrella tightens excessively, your joints paling and throat feeling painfully dry. 
Exhaling steadily, your eyes flash open as you forcefully twist the doorknob at once and jerk the door open—the hinges let out a shrill squeak as the door flies back into the wall as it rebounds into your shoulder. You stand your ground at the door with both hands on your umbrella like a baseball bat, ready to swing at whatever jerk thought it was a good idea to run laps around the hallway at 11pm. 
Except, there was absolutely no one to be seen. 
Your shoulders slump and you drop your arms, the umbrella falling to your side as you peer and check in both directions of the hallway. 
“Uh, hi there.”
The deep timbre of a male voice causes you to convulse back into reality, the umbrella you were gripping onto plopping in front of the man’s feet. You take the moment to scan just what exactly was happening right now, and what is stalling you from your highly anticipated time of rest. 
The man was perched on the floor while rubbing at his temple, a handful of brown, wavy locks slipped in between his fingers. His face was slightly contorted in what seemed to be pain, but you couldn’t tell that clearly because of the black-rimmed glasses that were slowly sliding to the tip of his nose. He scrunches his nose to readjust his frames, his focus shifting back and forth between the evident frown that was painted across your features and the fact that he was idiotically splayed in front of your door. 
You cross your arms, still having no answers as to why there is a stranger sitting in front of your doorstep albeit him being extremely pleasing to the eye. You weren’t going to let him know that, of course. 
“Uh, do you care to explain what you’re doing here at… 11pm?” You ask him gruffly while checking the time on your phone, still not pleased with his unexpected presence. 
He stands up, dusting off and straightening his clothes before pushing his glasses back up with one of his fingers. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt that clung quite nicely to his body, the beige cardigan he was wearing was falling off of one of his shoulders while he timidly hands the umbrella back to you, avoiding all chances of eye contact. Embarrassment was an understatement of what he feels right now. 
“Okay, this is going to sound really dumb, but the frat I’m in is playing a game right now.” He attempts to explain. 
You raise a brow. “A game…?”
“Hide and seek.” He says in a hushed tone as if there was anyone that was going to hear the two of you. 
“Oh.” Is all you could really say. Because what the fuck sort of fraternity partakes in elementary school games in their free time. 
“Yeah.” He replies back awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to bother you so, again, I’m so sorry about that.”
Letting out a sigh, you lean against the doorframe, “Still doesn’t explain how playing hide and seek brought you here, though.”
”Oh, about that,” His eyes light up—searching around the floor for an answer. “Everyone gets to hide up to a mile radius. I was just planning to get up to the rooftop here and stakeout,” he informs you, and you can tell he feels more comfortable talking to you by the way there’s a small smile adorning his lips while he speaks, “but I happened to faceplant in front of your door instead.”
And at that, you laugh, “Do you feel hurt anywhere?”
He shakes his head dismissively, avoiding your gaze so you wouldn’t catch a glimpse of the intense blush crawling up his neck. “Nah, I’m fine.”
“Just making sure,” you tell him, “but is there any incentive or prize to all this, though? I’d hate for you to go through all this work for nothing.”
“Two thousand dollars.”
Your jaw slacks open. ”Goddamn.”
He nods, “Exactly. But I’m sure my cover will be blown soon, anyway. There’s gotta be other guys trying to hide up here too.”
“I mean, I think you chose a fairly good—”
You’re unable to finish your thought when the sound of hurried footsteps starts getting evidently closer. With your ears peeled, you take notice that they were taking the stairs up to your current floor. It was only a few seconds later that you both realized that those footsteps were seconds away from finding the two of you. You both stare at one another wide-eyed, as if you were looking into a mirror– the same expression of ‘oh shit’ painted across your faces.
“Alright, that’s my cue to go.” He laughs it off, before bidding you goodbye and turning on his heel. 
“Wait!” You lunge forward to grab him by his cardigan-clad wrist, yanking him backward and through your door just as the footsteps start to inch closer to where you guys are. Slamming the door shut, you press an ear against the door. You hear whoever’s running round the corner— sprinting past your door and trailing off elsewhere. 
“Oh my god.” the man heaves out, ruffling his hair out of his eyes as he’s hunched over with his hands placed on his knees, “You did not have to do that.”
“Well,” you huff out with your back pressed against the door, “I- I didn’t want you to lose.” You manage awkwardly. Why did you do that? You didn’t have to be a genius to know that letting a stranger in your home, regardless of how good-looking or nice-sounding, isn't a good idea. 
Typically, in horror movies it’s the first foreshadowing moments of that character being killed off. 
He smiles at your generosity, his mouth stretching from ear to ear as his glasses raise slightly from the sudden action, “It’s alright, really. I’ve caused you enough trouble so I’ll just get going.”
Before he can open your door, you press a hand against it to shut it close. And then you realize and begin to wonder why exactly you’re taking this so seriously. Even more than he is, so it seems. “No, it’s fine, I swear. You would’ve gone up to the rooftop like that other dude and gotten caught. Just stay here ‘till your little game ends, it’s all good.”
A cinch forms in between his brows, eyes blowing up wide enough to fill in the rims of his lenses. “Are you sure? I feel like I’m intruding.”
You shake your head. “Nah, you’re fine. My roommate isn’t here anyway and I have no one to watch movies with.”
He nods, “I do like movies.”
You grin to yourself as you make your way back into the kitchen to tend to your boiling water. “You can just sit on the couch over there.” You tell him while pointing to the green furniture piece that stuck out like a sore thumb among all your much blander furniture, or maybe it was the lack of appliances too. 
“Do you want ramen, by the way? The water just started boiling so I can still add a pack in here.” You say over your shoulder as you rip open the first package of ramen you had gotten previously before you thought you were going through a home invasion.
You don’t hear the man get up from the couch or even walk into the kitchen until he speaks up, “Sure, but I can make it for you if you want.” Peering over your shoulder, you expect to see him residing on your couch but instead he’s leaning against the kitchen counter with a bright smile, offering his assistance. 
Alarmed, you drop the pack of dry noodles into the pot of boiling water—the water splashing back up at you as you jump back in fright. You cower down, squatting down with your arms blocking your head. The man towers over you, his back blocking the stove so the backsplash wouldn’t get on you. 
Looking up at the stove, you notice the man acting as a human forcefield and you smile a bit at the sight of his chest. Glancing up at his face, he turns away from you with a hand cupped over his mouth trying to stifle a giggle fit from what would you presume was your second cowardly reaction of the night. 
“Asshole! Stop scaring me!” You scowl as you swat him in the shoulder. He outwardly groans, pouting cutely before raising his arms up in defeat. 
“Alright, alright, I’ll make the ramen for you. Go ahead and relax.” He gestures toward the couch as he leans against the stove.
Taking another pack of ramen out of the closet, you make eye contact with him before throwing it and retreating back to your couch. 
You can hear the sizzle of the second pack hitting the water as he leans over the countertop to ask, “I don’t think I ever got your name.”
“And yet I allowed you in my apartment,” you chuckle to yourself while setting up the projector, “I’m Y/N.”
He runs a hand through his hair— peering over his shoulder to meet your eyes with “Taehyung.”       
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Minutes pass as Taehyung tends to the ramen. You scroll through your Disney+ and Netflix watchlists (thank you, student discounts!) for something to watch. You fished out bowls and chopsticks before Taehyung could ask you and now he is currently pouring it out into bowls.
You call out to him, “Hey, do you have any suggestions on what to watch?”
“Wait, hold on,” he interjects while he slowly picks up both bowls with his hands, wincing in pain at the hot sensation on his palms, “shit, this is kinda hot.”
Shooting up from the couch, you rush towards him and take one of the bowls in your hands before he causes a disaster with blistered fingers to match, “What in the hell are you doing?!”
“B-being a nice–ow! guest at someone’s house after showing up–ugh! Uninvited.” He stammers, as he continues to repeatedly wince in pain. He finally sets the steaming hot bowl on the coffee table where his knees collide into the couch and blows on his hands to soothe the stinging pain. 
“You are actually so dumb.”
Another crease develops between his brows, the corners of his lips sinking into another pout. “Is that all you can say about me?”
“Yes, because you faceplanted at my doorstep and just laid there until I found you,” you say matter-a-factly, until you turn around to say a few words that you didn’t want him to fully catch, “and someone probably would’ve lost their game by now if it wasn’t for me.”
“I heard that!”
“Pick a movie, Taehyung.” You gesture towards your laptop, placing the responsibility of picking something to watch to him because you truly could not decide what to watch. 
After a few moments of scrolling through your laptop and pausing to scan the options you’re presenting him with, he turns toward you, “Hm… how about High School Musical 3?” He asks.
You ogle at him, perplexed to say the least.  
“You wanna watch HSM3?” You emphasize with a point of your finger. 
He snorts, “Yeah, what’s wrong with HSM3?”
“Nothing, I just thought you’d go with something… classier, I guess.” Your words falter, still processing that this frat boy who ran a mile to fall at your doorstep wants to watch High School Musical 3, not even the first installment at the very least. 
“Princess Diaries is always an option too,” he chuckles. And though you do love that trilogy as well, it shocked you even further that the man would even propose to watch it with you. He straight up has the taste of every other nineteen year old girl. 
“No, no, if you wanna watch HSM3, we will watch it.” You state while pressing on the movie, and casting it to the projector, the familiar soundtrack of the Disney intro begins to play on your wall. 
After shutting off the lights, you bring your bowl of ramen up to your face and you immediately feel the warmth of the steam, letting the aroma hit your nostrils. You blow onto the noodles before taking a large bite and setting it down on the table. 
“So Taehyung, maybe it’s just from superficial assumption, but you don’t quite seem like the fratboy type?”
He grins cheekily as he takes a bite out of his own bowl, “And why is that Y/N? And please, call me Tae. Only my professors call me Taehyung these days.”
You nod, staring at him as he gulps down another bite of noodles. You weren’t quite sure if he was chewing at this point to be honest. It was endearing how puffed up his cheeks remained throughout this entire conversation. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem like the fraternity scene would be your crowd.”
Pausing in his actions, he lowers his bowl down into his lap and glances towards you. “Hm, you’re right, it isn’t.”
“It isn’t?” Your left eyebrow nearly shoots to your hairline. 
“Nope.” He declares bluntly, scarfing down yet another bite of noodles. “I don’t even like drinking.” He turns towards you, and you immediately turn away to giggle into your sleeve. The lenses of his glasses are completely fogged up, his eyes hardly visible. 
“I can’t fucking see.” He says teasingly, as he uses the hem of his cardigan to wipe away at the condensation. 
“Okay, backtrack,” you interrupt, “You don’t like drinking?”
You gape at him, closing your mouth as you were about to stuff your mouth with more noodles. “But you’re in a frat, what do you do?”
“I socialize. Or make sure no one drives home drunk or burns the house down.” He tells you before scarfing down the rest of his noodles in a single slurp. So fast that the steam hasn't even risen to his glasses yet. Was he for real even chewing at this point? You’re almost tempted to make him another pack considering the fact he finished and you’ve only had a bite or two. 
You nod. “Every group needs someone like you for sure. Valid.”
He chuckles, “It’s just so bitter and nasty, the taste ruins whatever enjoyment I’m supposed to receive from it. And besides, I got crossed once from spiked punch and I puked on some girl’s shoes. And then she pushed me into the pool.”
You laugh. “Deserved.”
He chuckles in return, “How about you, you like drinking?”
“Yeah, but not at a party setting, I guess. Only by myself or like a small house gathering.”
“Ah, I see, I see.”
You continue to eat your noodles as the movie begins. Soon enough Troy Bolton flashes onto your wall— hair sopping in sweat as it trickles down his face, eyes trained on the basket as he aggressively yells “Let’s go!” before casually bursting into song. 
“Imagine being in a championship match and remembering the dance moves and lyrics to a song.” He thinks out loud. “I can’t multitask for the life of me.” 
“No for real,” your brows cinch after chewing and swallowing a bite of your noodles, “it’s like the same thing as me taking my midterm and trying to start a flash mob halfway through.”
He chuckles, the motion making his glasses slip to the edge of his nose once more. “You gotta let me know if you try that one of these days.”
“Maybe if I’m high as a kite.” You offer jokingly, turning towards him to whisper, “Ask me then.”
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After what seemed like half an hour of overanalyzing this particular installment of the beloved Disney movie franchise, you guys are burned out. The conversation feels akin to a crappy discussion post despite the topic being more up your alley of interest. 
“I don’t see how someone like you can stay awake during an European art history lecture.” 
“And I don’t see how someone like you wants to dedicate their life tending to children. You’re gonna scare the poor kids.”
You gasp, not at the statement per se, but at how he was able to psychoanalyze that quickly enough to realize that kids annoy the shit out of you, but yes, you did want to dedicate your life in that area of interest. It was practical. 
“A major that my parents won’t beat my ass over?” You supply, which would be equivalent to a knockout punch if you two were in a ring. Not a crummy apartment that you can barely afford to pay rent for. 
His lips press into a thin line. A sure fire sign of a TKO. “Touché.” 
You slump back into the couch, content with his reaction. “Figured so.”
“Can we play a game?” Taehyung suggests, the movie long forgotten. You’re pretty sure you just heard the prom number go on, but you’re long past the time when you had your own prom or the energy to care when this extremely good looking man is sitting in front of you, eating your ramen and filling the empty space on your couch. 
And potentially other areas that you won’t bother to mention. 
“Sure,” you reply, “unless it’s hide and seek.”
He rolls his eyes, “No it’s not, I swear. It’s called ‘talk show’.”
“Talk show?”
“Yeah,” he hums, “it’s something we did in my drama class. It’s basically pretending as if we’re on a talk show and sharing interesting stories about ourselves. But we’re asking each other the questions, and it can be about pretty much anything.”
You lift a brow, letting out a snort almost. “Isn’t that just 20 questions?”
“Essentially, yeah, just more thought-provoking than ‘what’s your favorite ice cream’? But it doesn’t matter, I’m fine with knowing that too.” He shrugs with a smile. 
“I see,” you nod. “Cookies and cream.”
“Rocky road.”
“Interesting,” you drag out the word, though you didn’t see him liking Rocky Road as a bad thing. Not at all, actually. “Who goes first?”
“You can ask me first.”
“Alright,” you take a moment to ponder, wanting to ask something that would require a detailed response, or a funny story, mostly the latter,  “how was high school ‘you’ in comparison to you now?”
“Oh god, you started strong,” he says, impressed. “Well, you probably wouldn’t be able to tolerate me.” 
“How bad?” You press. 
He chuckles towards the brightly lit wall, “Pretty damn bad.” He says with an obvious grimace plastered across his features, it almost as if he wanted to laugh but couldn’t quite hide his disdain still. 
“Doesn’t everyone say that about their high school selves after they graduate?”
He shrugs, knowing he didn’t really have to explain himself. “Point still stands.”
“What was the worst you did?” You ask slowly, his blatant apprehension about the subject making you all the more intrigued. 
“Well,” he begins, bringing a palm to his cheek as he leaned against the headrest of the couch. “In my senior year during the homecoming game, I might’ve stuck our team's brand new white jerseys in the washing machine with a red sock.”
“You’re not telling me that—“
“Oh, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.” His eyes crinkle up immediately, the beginning stages of laughter beginning to reverberate out of his throat. 
“How the fuck?” You snort, eyes bugging out of your head in shock— still confused. “Did you not get in trouble?“
“I got lucky that I was friends with some of them. But even the principal thought I did a pretty good job, so they didn’t really care. At least I didn’t harm anyone.”
“I don’t know, I think you might’ve bruised their ego a bit. Or rather stomped on it.” You suggest, popping a cheez-it into your mouth. 
He interjects, placing a palm on your forearm before you could grab another cheez-it. The touch makes you jump, and then you catch yourself staring at how slender and well-kept his hands were. “But they won by a landslide.”
And that shakes you back into reality, another witty comment coming to the forefront of your mind before you spew any nonsense that could lead you to embarrassment. “So, was it the lucky jersey that brought them to victory?” 
“Yep, and they all wore it for the rest of the season.”
Your mouth hangs open, wide enough that Taehyung could probably score a cheez-it inside if he tried. “Insane.”
“I did God’s work, I think.”
“I can’t top that.” You admit defeat with a chuckle. 
He smiles, and you feel your heart sink a little at the way he’s looking at you while he does, “I never said you had to, just, tell me how you were in high school.”
“Well”, you start off, looking away from him to try to find an answer to his question, “I guess I kept to myself more. I was loud and rambunctious within my friend group, but that was about it. I wasn’t the best student, but also not the worst. Stuff like that.”
“That’s cool.” He acknowledges with a genuine interest although you thought it was everything but compelling. 
“Not really, I mean, in comparison to you.” You shrug. 
“True, but I wouldn’t consider hanging out with ASB and the jocks anything worthy of my time. I only had a few people I could really consider friends, and even then, they were much more goal-oriented and driven. Then there was me.” He also chuckles, although it seems much more hollow and thin– his mouth barely reaching the rectangular shape that it usually does whenever his lips spread into a smile. 
You’re not quite sure what propels you, maybe the man in front of you is both enigmatic and magnetic. But you scoot closer, your knee knocking into his. “And what about now?’ You utter at a volume just enough for him to hear.
“Would you consider yourself a person who has a better outlook at what they want to do in life? Maybe not in the future, but just enough to keep going on day by day.” You ask him in a way in which you try to evoke that he didn’t need to answer you out loud. 
His hand starts to slide closer to the base of his knee, closer to your hand which was also at your own knee. But luckily, you don’t notice. His hand was itching to come into contact with yours, but he freezes, pinching the seam of his sweats instead. 
Head rising from his chest, he nods– his lips curling upward slightly. “Thank you, I think the stress of finals is still looming over me. This semester was rough, and you’re telling me this was only the first one?”
“Unfortunately, yeah,” You groan exasperatedly, “But I feel like I learned a lot from this semester.”
He nods in agreement, before shaking his head. He shoots up out of his seat just as you were beginning to sink back into it. “Okay, enough about school. Y/N, we’re on winter break aren’t we?”
“We are.” You grin, happy to see the boy’s mood change as quick as the sky outside your apartment window. 
Wait a minute, the closer you look you see the sky littered with an array of grey cumulus. You interrupt Taehyung as you run up to the window to realize that raindrops are falling, or from closer proximity, quite literally downpouring onto the city.
“Tae, turn down the TV volume a bit?” You say, as you motion to the remote on the coffee table. 
His eyes widen as he was previously staring at your backside, perhaps the grinch pajama pants you were wearing were flattering your figure, but he mentally slaps himself at the realization of what he was doing. Why were you making him act up like this? 
He chucks the remote back into the couch, his hands reaching for the pockets of his cardigan as he stands behind you to watch the city having its first rainstorm of the season. Personally, you loved the rain and the smell of petrichor that came around this time of the year. 
“Shit, the forecast is expecting thunder and lightning at this hour.” He glances up from his phone to show you from his weather app. 
And then your mood, quite literally, gets rained on, 
“If the power goes out, you might see my sorry ass start crying.” You sigh, your head dropping to your chest. 
You hear him sigh from behind you as well, “Ditto.”
“Ditto?” Your brows shoot up, stunned, as you peer over your shoulder to see his eyes round with fear. You could’ve sworn he looked paler than he did seconds ago. 
“I fucking hate lightning.” He grumbles, as his lips press into a thin line, his cheeks puffing up at the sides which make you almost want to smile. Or pinch them for that matter, but you digress. 
“And I fucking hate thunder.” You retort, the aggression aimed more towards the sky than the boy behind you. 
He shuts the curtains which snaps you back into reality. “Do you have candles?” 
You nod, already making your way towards your bedroom.  “I’ll go get them.”
“I’ll clear the table for you.”
Your head peeps out of your bedroom as you hear his words, “No! You don’t have to, I can take care of it.”
Taehyung steps towards you with dirty dishes and chopsticks in his hands– a lazy grin spread across his face. “I think I’ve severely overstayed my welcome here, Y/N. It’s the least I can do.”
“Well, I sure as hell don’t want to be home alone during a thunder and lightning storm anyways,” you attempt to reason with him, your tone becomes softer, “You’re welcome here anytime, Tae.”
He smiles at you. And it’s not the usual one where he’s mid-laughter about some stupid joke you had said, but it felt more genuine than that. It was a smile of reassurance and security that felt akin to a hug from someone warm and familiar. It’s as if you almost forget what you initially went into your bedroom for.
You stick your head past the doorframe and smile back. 
He breaks the silence. “We should move fast before the power goes out.” 
And now you remember that the power could potentially go out in minutes from now. 
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You manage to fish out a few flashlights and candles from your room– placing them around the apartment to make sure that the entire area is lit. Like the ingenious person Taehyung is, he had suggested that you both charge your phones as much as possible before you weren’t able to– something that had completely slipped your mind despite its utmost importance. 
Taehyung also suggested that he make more ramen for, in his words, ‘good measure’. In reality, you had heard him tell his stomach to ‘pipe down’ in which you nearly busted a lung trying to stifle your laughter and simultaneously hide your adoration for the guy. 
You two were everything but ill-prepared, and after minutes of lying on the couch and willing the noises from the elements to die down (it was only getting louder), you stroll over to the kitchen because you realized you ate all that ramen without drinking anything. 
“Do you want anything to drink?” You ask him, as you eye your pantry closet and its lack of practical food items and more the array of impulse buys. Settling on a gallon of Hawaiian Fruit Punch, you grab a Santa mug and pour some inside. 
He turns towards your voice and is met with you pouring Hawaiian punch at 1:30 in the morning into a Santa mug when it was months after Christmas. “Do you have water?”
“The brita filter is empty. I should probably refill it.” 
He grabs it before you can, and heads to the sink. “I can do it for you.”
You sigh, knowing that your pleas of refusal wouldn’t stop him. “Thank you, Tae.”
“It’s nothing.”
You lean over the counter with your forearms propped onto the surface, sipping the punch as you two go along in comfortable silence— the only thing audible was the sizzling of the ramen in the pot. 
“I made three packs, I‘m sorry. I’ll remember to buy you more.” He apologizes as he stirs the noodles in the pot. 
You dismiss his concern, “It’s fine, honestly. As long as it’s getting eaten.” Routinely buying multiple packs of ramen everytime you go grocery shopping is nothing new. 
“I made some for you, in case you wanted some.” He tells you while glancing over his shoulder. 
You wrap your hands around the porcelain, noting how it was starting to get more chilly. Hot chocolate is also something you should get the next time you go grocery shopping. “Thanks, but I'm good for now I think.”
“It’s done!” He beams while placing the pot on the counter, and you’re inwardly grateful due to the warmth that begins to emanate to the rest of your body from the steam. 
Scooting closer to him as he hovers over the pot, you tell him. “You can eat out of the pot. I don’t feel like doing dishes anyway.”
“You read my mind.”
He finds more chopsticks as he takes one huge slurp of noodles, and you watch him endearingly as he manages to scarf what probably would appear to be five bites, into one. He turns away to wipe his mouth with a napkin, and turns toward you once more. You immediately chuckle into your sleeve as you look up at him, the lenses of his glasses fogging up entirely— his irises completely blocked off. 
Hooking your sleeve over your palm, you reach up to his face, “Here, let me—! Ack!”
The apartment turns pitch black. The ceiling light bulbs had sparked, as the buzz and sudden darkness consumes the room in an instant. It was as if you blinked once and the apartment had vanished as soon as you opened your eyes. 
You screech, and the sensation as if a rug had been pulled out from under you causes your knees to buckle– lurching forward and throwing yourself into the man in front of you.
He accepts your petrified state with open arms, masking his own apprehension as the contact and assurance of another body in the room keeps him at ease. 
Seconds and most likely minutes vanish as you continue to cower in fright from the elements, the thunder roars as raindrops decidedly launching themselves at your apartment window from what it sounds like– the man’s grip never faltering as you further curl yourself into a ball. The floor is nothing but an accessory to you at this point. 
Your ear is pressed against his chest as you focus on the rhythm of his heartbeat more than anything else. 
Taehyung reaches the conclusion that it was a good time to speak now. “Y/N?”
“You alright?” He chuckles as his slender fingers start to stroke through your hair, tracing down to give your shoulder a timid squeeze.
“Not really,” you huff out which ends up morphing into your own chuckle itself, “sorry about, um, this.” Or what you meant to actually apologize is how you’ve been clinging onto the poor dude for the past five minutes unprovoked. Now that you can say that you are most definitely both even. 
“Okay, how about I take you to the couch and then I can light the candles and get the flashlights for us?” He offers, the lilt in his voice that implies whether it’s okay with you finally propels you to detach your head from his chest. 
And this comes out a lot more monotone than you would’ve liked. “Sounds good.”
He reaches over to the countertop to hand you a flashlight while he keeps one for himself. If it weren’t for the tremendous pit of fear pooling in your insides you would probably laugh because he is in fact, escorting you to the at most, twelve steps that it takes for you to get from the kitchen to your couch. But he doesn’t judge you in the slightest. 
As you sit down, he leans down to reach eye-level with you, “I’ll be right back, I promise.”
It’s only a few steps in until Taehyung is engulfed into the darkness of your apartment, because, naturally, the flashlight in your right hand had already been dismissed of its initial purpose. 
One by one, candles begin to illuminate the expanse of your apartment, accompanied by the warm-hearted boy who was lighting them up, emitting a glow that you haven’t seen from him all night. Slowly, but very surely, the chilling fear was crept and inched into the crevices of your being was being melted away by this ramen connoisseur slash studio ghibli enthusiast art major who had fallen headfirst at your doorstep. 
You’re curled up into a ball under your blanket, your fists balling the sheets as you continue to watch him with heart eyes that you were really hoping he couldn’t see with the back of his head. He finally finishes as he sets the lighter down at the kitchen counter— walking over towards the couch. 
His knees hit the vacant space next to yours as he asks softly, “May I join you?”
You nod, opening the blanket with one arm to signal that he had permission to invade your personal bubble. 
He plops down and you can feel the couch give in next to you slightly. You feel his knee bump into yours and you freeze despite the fact that your head was literally attached to his chest mere minutes ago. 
You wouldn’t mind retreating back, but you wouldn’t know how to propose that idea to be honest. 
And so you two are sitting there side by side, shoulder to shoulder, underneath the blanket. You’re absolutely itching for physical contact. The ambience was what you decide to pin the blame on. If it wasn’t for the soft pitter-patter from your windows, the candle-lit room, or the warmth from the man sitting next to you. You would—
“I think we have the same idea.” He breaks the stiff air. 
“Is it that obvious?” You chuckle, letting out the breath you were holding as you lean your head against the backrest. 
“No,” he says with a lilt in his voice that can’t really tell if it’s teasing or reassuring, “maybe I just want it a tad more than you do.”
“Or you’re just scared.”
He frowns, finally meeting your eyes as you meet his expression with a cheeky grin. “Oh, shut up c’mere.”
Pulling you into his chest, you wrap your arms around his side— tucking your knees farther into the blanket, he reaches down to grab the rest of the fabric and wrap it around you. You two are one giant burrito. And if it were a flavor, it would probably be Shin ramen and sexual tension. 
With your ear against his chest once more, you can hear the soft pounding of his heartbeat, and you feel his grip tighten on you as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear without notice. 
He hopes you don’t notice how that is quite literally what he is afraid of. 
“Comfy?” He mumbles into the crown of your head. 
You hum. “Very.”
And then you two rest in each other’s arms in comfortable silence. Eyes closed, minds off, long forgotten about how this happened or when this random stranger suddenly ended up here in the first place. 
“Tae.” You glance up as the tip of nose grazes his collarbone. 
“Are you nearsighted?”
“Yeah, why?”
You’re embarrassed at the way you’re approaching this, but oh God, are you just so curious. “You can take your glasses off, you know. I can be your eyes for the rest of the night. It’s dark, anyway.”
“I forgot I had them on, to be honest.” He says, one of his hands leaving your side to take his glasses off. He leans over to place them on the table and rubs his eyes a bit. He blinks a few times to adjust his eyes and leans back into the couch to go back to his original position of holding you. 
Leaning back to detach from his chest, you bring a hand out of the blanket and out to his chin. 
Your fingertips graze the point of his chin as you tilt his head down slightly so his eyes meet yours. Your breath stills, gets caught in the base of your throat, and you just hope that it wasn’t loud enough for him to hear. 
His eyes are twinkling from where he’s sitting. The light that refracts from your window is enough to be caught and reflected through his irises that you can’t really help but stare. It’s like you're staring at a photo in an astronomy book except you're just staring into Taehyung’s eyes. You make a mental note to tell him later that he should wear contacts more often. 
“Hi there.” His eyes crinkling up into crescents that the ones outside pale in comparison to. 
You flash another smile back. “Hi.” 
He leans in next to your ear and whispers to you, “You look really pretty up close by the way.”
And immediately, you can feel the blood rushing up to your ears and cheeks. “And you should definitely wear contacts more often.” You disclose to him in the same hushed tone. “I think you have the prettiest pair of eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“I hope no one ever finds me in this game.” He leans in closer, as you feel his breath start to fan against your face. Your fingers move from his chin and slide towards the rest of his jaw to the hair at the base of his neck. 
You lean in even closer until your noses are touching— if you moved your lips in the slightest you were sure that they would come into contact with his. “I hope they don’t either.” You say under your breath as your eyes start to flutter close. 
The deep timbre of his laugh as well as his chest rumbling beneath your own is the last thing you remember until his lips come into contact with yours. 
It’s as if the lightning outside had struck you straight to your core. You could feel your insides stir, the stimulation making everything suddenly feel numb as you continue to kiss him. And kiss him. And kiss him some more. 
He kisses you slow. He kisses you with the intention that he wants to take his time, to drag this out for as long as he possibly can, and he wants you to know just that. 
Your hands toy around the fabric of his white shirt as you pull him closer— you feel his digits scratch at the base of your neck as he loops his fingers around your hair. 
You tease him as your tongue laps at the seam of his lips. He instantly catches on to what you’re getting at as he parts his lips enough to respond back by kissing you even deeper. 
The blanket slides off of your bodies as you sit up from where you were on the couch— you place your knees on either side of his as you sit onto his lap. 
As soon as you do he cups your face to crash his lips into yours once. You’re only able to get a small glimpse of his lust-filled eyes until you're forced to shut your own. 
His lips move against yours with more eagerness. You were right here and so close that it almost felt binding in a way, yet he still was craving more of you. He was hungry, and he desired more than anything to see how you taste in case he wouldn’t be able to do this again with you.
You decidedly take the leap of faith to sink yourself down into his lap, and you immediately feel the bulge from the seams of his sweats line up with your own bundle of nerves. 
It takes almost every ounce of power within you to not let out a lewd noise. You dig your fingernails into your palm just to exert that energy in any way that you could. Yet you can feel that Taehyung feels the same in the way his actions come to a halt. 
He takes a moment to admire the way you look perched on top of his lap— your lips swollen and slightly wet with saliva, your hair tousled from his doing, and the look in your eyes as you played with the hair that was falling into his eyes. 
You are picturesque. As if on any given day for the rest of his life if we were called to draw something out of scratch, he’d immediately be able to recall this very moment as he soaks in every inch of you as much as he can. He’s not sure if he’ll ever have the chance to again after this. 
You feel his hands leave your lower back to rest on your thighs. Leaning forward, he places a kiss on your cheek before resting his head in the crook of your neck. 
“You’re so pretty, you know that?” He whispers, and you can feel the words seep into your skin as his lips graze your collarbone with each word he says. 
Unable to produce a reply, you smile at the sensation of his lips on your skin, and how close you two are right now that you don’t think you’ll be able to stop replaying this moment in your head for an obscene amount of time. 
His hands start to rise up along the seams of your sweats, and they stop just next to your ass before he so kindly pauses to whisper into the shell of your ear, “Can I?”
You are falling apart. He is so sickeningly sweet that you almost want to tell him that you are his now and he could absolutely ruin you in whatever way he pleases.
But that would probably scare the shit out of him considering he wasn’t a sneaky link nor a situationship, rather someone that could be compared to a complete stranger whom you got caught in this compromising situation with because of his and yours stupidity.
“Please do.”
You feel the warmth of his hand spread over the expanse and you revel at the sensation. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you pull him closer to kiss him once more. 
The kiss takes him slightly by surprise– he thinks about how he wants to do this over and over again if permitted. He takes a leap of faith to grab your ass as he pushes you down onto his lap to close the remaining space. 
You feel his print and almost immediately your mind conjures up images of how it would feel for him to be inside of you. 
As you feel his grip begin to falter, you roll your hips into his, accompanied with another kiss on the lips. Sustaining the flow, your hips continue to grind into his hardness— he mewls into your mouth before detaching his lips from yours. He throws his head back onto the couch, lifting his hips to meet your own in the middle as your hips stutter and your breath gets caught in your throat at the way you can feel his tip press over your entrance even with the fabric in the way. 
You take notice of his adam’s apple bobbing up and down, his skin glistening slightly with sweat. His hands travel back to your ass as he pushes you down harder into his lap— you feel his raging tip graze and push against the nerves of your clit and you gasp. 
He swipes a finger across your clothed slick, and he lets out a dark chuckle, “No way you’re this fucking wet with clothes on.”
“Says the one with a hard-on that’s shooting for the stars right now.” You retort as your eyes travel down to the large tent in his sweats. It looks so fucking big. And you so badly want to see his bare length. Bringing a hand up to his lap, you begin to palm him, running the base of your palm down his clothed hardness to the tip of his bulge.  
“What are y- Oh- my god.” He convulses under you, letting out a gravelly noise from the back of his throat, and with your free hand you tug on the seam of his shirt and the waistband of his sweatpants to let him know that you wanted it off. 
“Please. I need these off now.”
“What about you, hm?” He manages in a low whisper. 
“After you.” You reply as you hasten your rhythm that your hand was moving at, and he lets out a quivering exhale from under you. 
His body shifts from under you as he throws the cardigan off to the side. You help him take off the thin white t-shirt that clung to his body from perspiration. Only one quick peek of his hidden hours in the gym is what has your mind veering into maladaptive directions that you thought you wouldn’t reach today. You feel yourself holding in your breath as he undoes the string of his sweats before lifting his hips off the couch to slip it off of his hips. He’s left in nothing but his boxers, and you are positively sure you might’ve just creamed yourself at the pure sight of him. 
“Your turn.” He lowly demands as he pinches at your sides. Intently, he eyes you as you strip out of your shirt. You were surprised to be wearing a bra considering you were home alone before Taehyung had come over. He helps you get out of your pajama pants, because you couldn’t stand the sight of seeing a bunch of little grinches plastered all over you. Maybe it was fate because you happened to be wearing a black matching set. 
“Goddamn,” he exhales as his eyes zero in on your breasts, “they sit pretty.” He marvels before his words get caught into the base of your chest as he heedlessly attaches his lips to your collarbone. 
His tongue laps around at your skin, making it damp before he sucks at it slightly. All he’s doing is making out with your neck, but you swear on your life, you have never felt this much bliss– it was intoxicating and confounding, you felt your movements becoming more staggered the longer he went on. 
His lips moved and roamed around your skin like he was treasuring you and your body, as if he was clinging onto this moment and in the way he had his arms wrapped around you, hands pressed up against your ass— unwilling to let you go and making sure you remain pressed up against him. 
You can feel your insides stir as you feel his lips dipping lower into your breasts. With a free hand he tugs on one of your bra straps as he slides it down your arm. He bites into the flesh and you gasp, you were sure that was going to give you a great time trying to cover up tomorrow. His arm hooks around your back to find the clasp of your bra, and in record time he manages to swiftly unhook it with his fingers. Impressed? Oh, for sure, but you also couldn’t help but think if he had prior experiences unclasping other girls’ bras with one hand. 
His hands travel down back to your ass as he makes you sink down once more onto his lap. The lack of fabric allows you to feel each other out much more than before– his tip throbbing and pushing itself against your sopping wet folds that you shudder, your head falling sequentially into his shoulder as he breaks in his actions to catch his breath. 
You, in fact, are also craving for more of him as you lift yourself off of his lap slightly to roll your hips against the length of his shaft. Taking your time, you continue your steady rhythm as you attempt to vary the amounts of pressure you snap your hips with each time. 
His large hands remain on the flesh of your ass, gripping onto you as he tries to muffle the moans of pleasure that seep out of his lips. You were so fucking sexy, he didn’t know what to do. 
One of his digits grazes over the seam of your panties and your hips stutter. 
“My fucking god,” he whispers darkly, and you feel his finger glide from your entrance to your sensitive clit and you twitch under his touch, “you are soaked, baby.”
Goddamn it, touch me already. Are the exact words that you want to scream into the void, but your intrusive thoughts get interrupted in a matter of seconds.
The theme song to what closer observation leads you to realize is the Bunny Senpai theme, begins to blast throughout the walls of your apartment. You shriek– convulsing in fright as you nearly tumble off the couch. Taehyung manages to swoop you with one arm and sets you back down. 
“For fuck’s sake!” He shouts as he scrounges for his glasses and picks up his phone. Squinting at the caller ID, he turns away to look at you.
“I’m so fucking sorry. This is so embarrassing.”
Out of breath, you wave him off– you are cackling in amusement, a hand forcefully cupped over your mouth to muffle the amount of laughter that wanted to seep out. The hilarity of this situation has got you two seconds away from pissing your fucking pants. This has got to be one of the funniest ways to get interrupted mid-about to get fucked. And now, you are so sure that the Bunny Senpai theme is going to haunt your dreams for years to come. 
“Jungkook, what the fuck is wrong with you.”
“Huh? The fuck did I do?” You hear another voice inquire over his phone speaker. 
“Why are you even awa- Oh shit.” He pauses, his tone changing. “ Am I interrupting something?” The boy on the phone whispers. 
“Yeah, you literal piece of shit.” Taehyung bites. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him this angry, but knowing the context of the situation doesn’t make you cease in laughter a tiny bit. In fact, you force yourself to face the wall so he wouldn’t see how bad you’re struggling to save face. You’re able to slip his cardigan on in the process at the very least. 
“The guys are all wondering where you are. You’re the last one standing dude, you won.”
You freeze at his words, your head whipping towards him to gauge his reaction. “Tae, oh my god.” 
He gapes at you wide-eyed. “Oh my god,” he echoes, a cinch forming between his brows before he returns to the conversation. “Bro, you’re lying.”
“I swear I’m not, it’s damn near four in the morning, I wanna go to fucking bed already,” The boy goes on, and at this point, you can hear the exasperation in his voice without knowing who the hell he was, “Here, let me get Jimin on the phone.”
Taehyung slumps onto the couch next to you, pulling you into his chest as he waits for his friend to answer. He puts it on speaker and places it on the table. 
You two sit there in silence as you await to hear their exchange.
“Do you know where Taehyung is?” You hear yet another voice ask which you assume was Jimin.
“No, he’s on the phone with me right now. Can you tell him he won already so we can give him his goddamn money.”
A couple thuds follow from the speaker before another voice booms out of his phone.“Taehyung, get your ass back here.” You hear the voice get louder as if the person on the other end had their mouth next to the speaker. “You won, okay.”
Leaning over to pick up his phone, you expect him to reply back to them, but instead, he just hangs up. 
“Haha! We fucking won! Fucking losers!” He beams, lifting you into the air and spinning you around like a little kid. 
“We won?” You ask. Because it’s only been hours, but you’ve clearly forgotten how you’ve gotten yourself caught up in this situation.
He sets you down but his arms remain around you as he stares into your eyes with a foolish grin. “Yes, we won. Cause’ you know what I’m gonna do once I get my hands on that prize money.”
“What?” You hum as your head tilts on its own accord.
He places a kiss on your forehead. His arms begin swaying you from side to side as his eyes never lose contact with yours. The ends of his hair fall into the rim of his glasses, but you’re standing close enough to him to get a clear view of his eyes and the way they crinkled in delight. On the outer rim of one of his lenses, you catch a glimpse of the reflection shown from the window and the raindrops that slide down the glass. 
You don’t know where your next days or weeks are headed, but you’re hoping that the present could linger a little longer right now. And you’re hoping that it would entail seeing the boy in front of you much more frequently. 
“I am going to take you out,” he says with another sway of his body, his face scrunching in delight, “and do this the right way.” 
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thank you for reading! <3
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