The fact that Judaism is trending because of both the wave of bomb threats on synagogues and Bradley Cooper's Antisemitism Adventure (his huge fake prosthetic nose, and him basically stealing the story from a Jewish man) is so infuriating and so exhaustingly typical.
The fact that I see Judaism trending on Tumblr and immediately think "oh no. Something Bad is happening to us." We're never trending cause it's fucking good. I never get to be excited, it's just cold dread.
The fact that Antisemitism is getting worse everyday and the only ones who ever talk about it are other Jews. The fact that no one else fucking cares. The only ones who support us are other Jews. Even when gentiles talk about Nazis or white supremacists they don't want to help us. We're just their prop, the canary in the coal mine and the perfect victim.
The fact that everyone's uncomfortable with Jews still being here. Reminding them of things they'd rather forget.
The fact that it'd be easier for them if we were all dead. Then they could tell stories about our people, dressed in offensive caricatures, without us making a fuss.
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Whenever I get a particularly nasty message, I always check to see if they're following me first. Nine times out of ten, they're not. But they're also, unfortunately, the same people who feel entitled to send me multiple messages in a row, most of them heavily steeped in the language of moralization and purity.
Like whenever I talk about painkillers or pain management, I always get a handful of well-meaning people who are maybe new to my blog or are just young, asking me if I've tried diet/exercise/meditation, etc.
Sometimes I'll respond to them. Other times I'll just ignore them because I get those kinds of messages so often it's like white noise, and maybe part of me hopes if they stick around on my blog, they'll learn it through exposure via my incessant bitching.
When you see me responding to someone offering that kind of advice, it's either because I'm at my fucking limit or because I'm hoping it's a teachable moment and an otherwise seemingly nice person might unlearn some harmful biases.
The people who don't follow me are not interested in any kind of conversation on the subject. They do, however, feel the most qualified to tell me, someone they didn't know existed until one of my posts crossed their dash, how to manage my life, everything I'm doing wrong, and why I'm a bad person.
And for them, my disability is proof that I am a bad person because they view health as a moral issue.
If you're sick, it's because you don't exercise enough, don't eat the right foods, don't pray enough, don't do enough. They genuinely believe that if they say and do all the right things, like a Good Person, they'll never get sick.
It's their security blanket against the harsh reality that anyone is one bad day away from disability. One faulty gene, one bad infection, one bad accident away from a life-long diagnosis. And if they do get sick, it's a test. A challenge to be overcome with Willpower as they learn the True Meaning of Life.
It can never just be a simple fact of life that sickness happens. That disability exists without a moral reason.
And it's suffocating.
Day in, day out. Folks who don't know me from fucking Eve telling me I'm being punished. Not always as outright as that. They don't always use that word. But sometimes I appreciate it when they do because at least then they're being honest. They're not couching it in the softer language of leftist circles. Not hiding it behind concern.
Because the truth is, there are just as many folks who think they're liberal and enlightened who'd be happy if disabled people just stopped existing. They don't like thinking about us because it makes them think about themselves. About their own fragility and mortality, and they hate that. They hate that there's something they can't control with their thoughts and actions. That they can't moralize their way out of.
Honestly, it's a relief when people are just cunts about it because I can hit the block button, safe in the knowledge that they were never the kind of person who would see me as a person. But when it's some 20yo kid with their pronouns, orientation, and "ACAB" in their profile spouting the same kind of moralization, sometimes even with the language of eugenics, it feels like such a betrayal. Like a loss.
And perhaps if I wasn't multiply disabled, I'd have the energy to pull them back. To tell them why they're wrong and hope like hell they realize what they're doing is harmful. But then, if I wasn't disabled, they wouldn't be messaging me, so I wouldn't be dealing with it.
I wouldn't be expected to use my existence as a teachable moment to spoon-feed them compassion. But I am, and I do. When I can. Not always with the grace that's warranted. Not always with the thought and compassion I ought to. (And I don't; I acknowledge that. I'm prone to anger and off-the-cuff remarks that are hurtful too. Though I try to keep most of it to myself or save it for therapy.)
Basically, if you've made it this far through the TED talk, don't be fucking cunts to disabled people. Don't tell chronically ill people to try yoga. Don't moralize pain relief. Suffering is not noble.
You need to kill the cop and the priest in your head telling you otherwise.
And also if you're the nice people sending me nice messages. Thank you. It helps cushion all of *gestures* this.
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If your Jewish friends invite you to join them for some Chanukah festivities, there's a few basic things you should keep in mind. When I say "basic," I mean really basic. If it's listed here, it unfortunately means I've seen/heard someone do or say it.
Don't make Holocaust jokes.
Don't make thinly veiled antisemitic comments. Antisemitic "jokes" aren't funny.
Dreidel is pretty much a game of chance. Losing isn't the end of the world. Everyone loses dreidel at least once a year (usually more than that).
Staying with friends doesn't mean your friends are supposed to fund your vacation (this honestly goes for staying with anyone, not just your Jewish friends). They're saving you the cost of a hotel already.
If you don't want to participate in a holiday tradition, don't make a big thing out of it. Respectfully decline and move on instead of calling Jewish traditions "weird" or something along those lines.
Have fun! Chanukah is a beautiful holiday with some really cool and beautiful traditions. Enjoy your time with your friends.
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uquiz time because i'm sad and the one i found is really pretty
the midnight lover
the midnight lover [noun, german origin] refers to a character that believes their final destination is a second place. they are always there when people need them, but they are never their first choice, merely the one to talk to at midnight when one is the most honest, just to be thrown away the morning after (hence why they're called a midnight lover). midnight lovers love too much, fall too deep and land to hard for anyone and everyone they appreciate, but they never seem to get their love back in the way they'd want, forever united by the dreadful second place in people's lives. many take advantage of midnight lovers, using their heart that's always there to listen as something they can dump all their problems on, not acknowledging that their heart is just as fragile as any other. still, midnight lovers listen and comfort and give their all no matter it draining them - sometimes it's truly astonishing how much love they're able to store within themselves. all midnight lovers long for is to be perceived as something more than 'the second resort', though many struggle to realize their already achieved significance in eyes of others. who knows, many (or majority) may haven't ever been a second choice, they were just lead to believe so via people not treating them accordingly. as a certain saying goes, "one not worthy of your love should not be able to spend it." - a fellow midnight lover
fully expect this to flop but oh well
no pressure tags @imaginatorofthings @olivers-cocoapuffs @officialsoupstore @scabscribz @automaticcatsandwich @if-i-could-give-u-the-moon @averydeadshootingstar @charliethinks and everybody else
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