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hailsatanacab · 5 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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golyadkin · 9 months

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I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr

not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work

believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody

#not art #listen #for real #this is not about any one person because i've seen posts about it from a bunch of people #you think i post everything here? buddy i dont even post half my stuff here #every drawing you see is preceded by five more just like it #that never see my cursor close to the save button #i have a sketchbook i draw in regularly that i do'nt show to a single goddam person #i make cutout art from gels i steal from work and stick them to my windows and do paintings in my living room just for me #because that it the only way you are ever going to be able to retain your original love of art #is by doing it for the sake of doing it #not for the sake of seeing how many people stop and stare #anyways i'm sorry if this sounds terse #but i'm so sick of seeing artists put all their self-esteem and happiness in the hands of a blogging website #stop selling yourself short by measuring your self worth by how many reblogs you get and what people say in the tags #your artistry and your happiness are worth more than that #if you're an artist for a living that's another story #but even then #even then #anyways sorry i'm done ranting

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francy-sketches · 1 year

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a compilation of my favorites from the hobby section of the villains wiki 💗

#.txt #asoiaf #tag yourself I'm justifying atrocities #none of these are hobbies please get help #except the last one but its so funny as a villain description #bonus little game try to guess all of them #dont look at my other post btw. hard mode only >:(#the ??? one applies a few characters but i thought it was funny idk #deleted this post accidetally had to go back and find all of them again -_-

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chirpsythismorning · 4 months

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This specific frame reminded me of something…

For those who still can’t see it, allow me to elaborate.

#byler #static kiss #the rink o mania lights bouncing off of will's face and the yellow from mike's shirt peaking in the corner #is so real to me #but now comparing it to their actual portraits with this blocking...#i can't unsee it #like tell me why the static kiss looks more like them then my cracked rendition??#maybe bc they're actually kissing in that one and mine is just their faces smashed together #also editing this i felt like a byler back in the day making manips using mileven kissing in s3 lmaooo #this was mostly my unhinged way of trying to visualize what i'm seeing for those that say they can't see it at all #and btw if you don't know what the static kiss is...#i'm sorry i don't feel like explaining it in the tags #just search static kiss on my profile !#and if you still can't see it...#consider yourself lucky

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silverskye13 · 3 months

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For the record! I'm going to apologize now and say it's probably going to be a hot minute before a new RnS chapter comes out [a week, maybe two]. I have encountered some issues that need sorted.

#spazzcat barks #redstone and skulk #don't read the tags if you don't want bookwriting logistics spoilers #delete later #the long and the short of it is i wrote 3 chapters and now i think i'm going to scrap them all #this is the problem with making a backlog: sometimes you see the corner you've written yourself into #and instead of writing your way around it like you would if you were writing chapter by chapter #youre instead going to go back to where the problem started and kill it there #except it is very demotivating to lose upwards of 10k words because of one character choice three chapters ago #that you think is a little out of character #so you need some time to recover from that #and then you need time to make plans #because you've spent the past week and a half writing 3 chapters that don't exist now #so you need to figure out how you think your character would actually act and decide how much this changes the three chapters you wrote #and if those chapters are even salvageable now #so in summation: damn it m'lord there's a dragon in the castle and i've lost escaliber

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daswarschonkaputt · 2 years

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an incredibly subjective kinnporsche fic rec list

a few caveats before i get into it: i have probably missed fic. this is all my opinion, and if you disagree with it, that’s fine. i’m not giving these fics ratings, or picking out my extra special favourites because that’s just a dick move and inevitably results in writers feeling like shit. (i’ve been there.) if it’s on this list, i enjoyed it enough to remember it. which is saying something because i read a lot of fic. like, so much firefox fucking crashed when i was opening tabs from my ao3 history. i bsod’d my fucking laptop for this. oh and my fic is on this list because hell yeah i recommend it. i fucking wrote it.

these aren’t in any particular order, because they’re mostly in order of my ao3 history. bear in mind that a lot of these were written whilst the show was airing, so they’re not so much canon as canon-adjacent. where i can remember what they go by over on this hellsite, i’ve tagged the author’s in question. if you know any of the handles for authors i’ve missed, feel free to tag them too.

under a cut because there are quite a few here:

A Guide to Living a Mafia-Adjacent Life by puckbaes https://archiveofourown.org/works/39870123

What? Post-canon fic about Chay adjusting to his new life as a mafia-adjacent college student, and making peace with his relationship with Kim. WIP. 20k, 8/11 chapters posted.

Why? This story primarily makes me feel peaceful, to read. Chay’s just trying to get through his life, whilst trying to pick himself up and move on. It’s such a breath of fresh air whenever it updates. Also P’Bank is the best.

for you (i'd burn the world to the ground) by cuteandtwisted https://archiveofourown.org/works/40134927

What? AU where Porsche grew up with the Theerapanyakul’s, and has been Kinn’s faithful bodyguard the entire time. He and Kinn have a tortured relationship. WIP, 24k, 4/5 chapters posted.

Why? This one is not a peaceful read. This one rips out your heart and stomps on it. But unsurprisingly, I’m an angst queen, and I very much enjoy these losers ruining their lives (and each other). Also badass Porsche. We all love badass Porsche, don’t we?

but you’re everywhere (yes you are) by fortunehasgivenup https://archiveofourown.org/works/39221205

What? Canon-divergence where Porsche remembers the kiss on the pier, and talks to Kinn about it. Despite the summary, they are softer than canon. Complete, 90k.

Why? Reading this I kept expecting the other shoe to drop, and it didn’t. Kinn and Porsche fall into each other and figure each other out. It’s just a nice, long canon-divergence fic with low drama and high heat.

within the ablaze by lightshine https://archiveofourown.org/works/39897795

What? A/B/O mpreg AU. Check out the content warnings on AO3 before you brave this one, folks. Porsche gets pregnant, and has to figure out what he’s going to do about it. WIP, 9k, 3/16 chapters posted.

Why? Okay, so only a few chapters have been posted of this one, but what’s there has me intrigued. There’s some interesting worldbuilding here, but again, check the content warnings on AO3. It’s omegaverse, and some of the trope’s more dystopian elements are folded into the world here. This is one of the fic I am subscribed to and am watching to see how it develops.

You picked a dance with the devil, You lucked out by aby01 https://archiveofourown.org/works/39718185

What? A/B/O AU where Porsche is a feral alpha, terrified of being used as someone’s weapon, and Kinn is, well, Kinn. Porsche would like desperately to steer clear of him for forever – there’s just one problem: Chay’s dating Kim. Alpha!Kinn/Alpha!Porsche. Complete, 34k.

Why? Someone tags their fic with Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics and I am there so quickly, you have no idea. I really enjoyed the worldbuilding here. I followed it right from the first chapter and faithfully read every update – I vibed hard with it.

Where Power Resides by Laughsalot3412 (@laughsalot3412 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/38407180

What? Canon-divergent AU circa episode 2. Vegas demands a steeper price for Porsche hurting his brother, and Kinn ends up going along. Somehow this results in them falling into a BDSM relationship. Complete, 65k.

Why? C’mon guys. This is a fandom classic for a reason. Laughs really knocks it out of the park. The BDSM stuff here is mostly non-sexual, and written really tenderly. It’s really clear what Kinn and Porsche each get out of the relationship, and the way they both come to rely on each other is really beautiful. Also I have a soft spot for Laughs’ Kim, who’s my favourite brand of feral.

The power in the taking by iffervescent (@iffervescent on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002584

What? Porsche and Kinn fuck around (sexually) and then find out (about feelings). Kinn’s a dominant asshole, and Porsche hates that that seems to do it for him. Written before the show aired, based on the Filmania trailer, and got a shocking amount really right. Complete, 17k.

Why? Iffy’s a fucking powerhouse, guys. This one is a little darker in tone than the show liked to keep it, but so, so fucking good. Obviously it doesn’t get everything correct canon-wise, but that’s to be expected. It’s still a really good fic.

playing with fire by acrobats (@fractured-ice on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39521733

What? Porsche character study through the lens of smoking. Complete, 2.5k.

Why? A short fic that looks at Porsche and his use of smoking as a coping mechanism. Damn good characterisation. Almost meta, really.

i'm the violence in the pouring rain by theleftboobgrabber (@histypeisnice on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39205392

What? Porsche has a side-hustle on onlyfans. Kinn has no sense of boundaries. Twisty and incredibly hot. WIP, 20k, 2/3 chapters posted.

Why? Um. I have no excuse? I saw a snippet of this posted on tumblr and was absolutely hooked. When I say I want these losers to ruin each other, I think of fics like this one.

tiny spark, mighty flame by BeStillMySlashyHeart https://archiveofourown.org/works/38828970

What? Soulmate AU where your first touch leaves a mark on your soulmate. Gee, wouldn’t it suck if the first time Kinn and Porsche actually touched was when Kinn strangled him in episode two? Wouldn’t it suck if that was how they found out they were soulmates? (Distant laughter.) Complete, 29k.

Why? This was one of the first soulmate AU fic I read that actually approached the matter that Porsche would need a security detail, once it was discovered. Which: I would recommend it just for that on its own. BUT, it’s also a neat fic. There’s a really cool use of the author’s worldbuilding at the end of the fic, which I won’t spoil, but I still think about it. It’s short, it’s sweet, it hits the mark.

Nosy, Nosy by snickerdoodlles (@thecookiemonster77 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39562044

What? Tankhun and Kim character study. Incredibly in-character, and also incredibly funny. Complete, 13k.

Why? One of the first fic I ever read where the author seemed to just get Tankhun on a subatomic level. This fic is the Tankhun character reference, guys. Also Kim is just so funny to throw at the rest of the cast. Yes, Tankhun. Invade his space. Irritate him. Understand him.

Head.Cars.Bending by hotlemontea https://archiveofourown.org/works/39744693

What? Tankhun ends up halfway across Thailand after a wild night of partying. Porsche and Kinn go to pick him up, and Porsche’s driving puts the fear of God into Kinn. As it fucking should. Complete, 4k.

Why? You ever read a fic that just sets the tone and sticks to it? It’s a simple idea, very straightforward, and utterly sticks the landing. I really enjoyed it. One of the few fic I was able to recall off the top of my head by name when I wrote this list. It’s that good.

Assumptions about you by Sirvaria (@antique-forvalaka on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/38101582

What? Smut fic, Porsche likes being manhandled. Complete, 6k.

Why? Um. UM. I read it for the… character development? Yeah. We’ll go with that. Seriously though, this is the good shit.

gone fishing by snickerdoodlles https://archiveofourown.org/works/39384114

What? Post-canon social media fic. Chay takes over Wik’s Twitter. Complete, 1.5k.

Why? I didn’t realise until I put together this list that this is the same author as “Nosy, Nosy”. It all makes sense. Cute, funny, in-character, which I guess is snickerdooodlles’s trademark now.

A Stacked Deck by Patterpea (@winterberrysea on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40217793

What? Time travel fic where Porsche is sent back in time after taking a bullet for Kinn. WIP, 39k, 4/16 chapters posted.

Why? It’s time travel fic with badass Porsche. Anyone who knows anything about me knows I was all over this the moment it was posted and will continue to be all over it until it’s complete and then probably for a few months after that. This scratches so many itches and I love it to bits already.

fake love and hennessy by yeetlegay (@yeetlegay on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39083298

What? Pretty Woman AU. Porsche is a prostitute, and Kinn hires him for a week. They have a lot of sex. WIP, 53k, 8/17 chapters posted.

Why? This is another one of the fandom juggernauts, and for good reason. The writing’s swell, everyone’s in character, and Yeetle works hard to maintain their title as the ruling monarch of the horny Kinnporsche fandom.

The King's Tree by LuckyDragon (@luckydragon10 on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39298218

What? Soulmate AU where prior to canon, Kinn got his soulmark removed. Porsche didn’t. Porsche is now faced with a reality where his soulmate was so opposed to his very existence that he had him burned out of his flesh. So, he’s not really best-inclined to letting Kinn in on the secret. WIP, 64k, 12/14 chapters posted.

Why? It’s so good. Like. It’s criminal how underrated this fic is, relatively. Whenever this one updates, I drop everything to go read it. You may know Nemi (the author) from the meta doc – but damn can she write. This one rips my heart out on a daily basis, holds it outside my chest, and then returns it, wrapped in cotton wool. I’m not kidding. It’s so fucking good.

Intent to Cherish by Iffervescent https://archiveofourown.org/works/40304811

What? A/B/O AU with shades of sugar daddy thrown in for fun. Porsche is an atypical omega, and hyperaware of that fact. Kinn wants him really fucking bad – but wants to spoil him more. Complete, 47k.

Why? It lures you in with the promise of scalding hot sex (Iffy’s trademark), only to sucker punch you with fascinating worldbuilding and Kittisawat feels. This fic is so fucking good, guys. This Porsche makes me absolutely lose my mind, and Kinn does too.

cover up, walk away by Ronan Vespertine (Akina1521) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39225051

What? Porsche character study, post-diamond auction. Canon-typical content warnings apply. WIP, 5k, 2/4 chapters posted.

Why? In the aftermath of episode four (and episode five, really, too) I had a lot of feelings about what had happened. In order to process these feelings, I went looking for fic, and cover up was one of the first I found. I enjoyed it a lot, and am secretly waiting for the author to finish it.

whiskey sour by cardamon https://archiveofourown.org/works/39632343

What? Post-canon, a little AU. Kinn and Vegas do business. Pete and Porsche come along. Complete, 1.8k.

Why? It was written before the season finale and it shows, but it’s still pretty fun. All very bloody brutal murder boys. I’d definitely recommend it, if you’re into that.

Tiger Tiger by LuckyDragon https://archiveofourown.org/works/38000350

What? Slight canon divergence, Kinn investigates Porsche and watches him at the fight ring. Small ficlet. Complete, 2k.

Why? I really love Nemi’s Kinn POV. Just a neat ficlet, with a slight AU to it. Could fit into canon.

A Little Wicked by midnightsurge https://archiveofourown.org/works/40197588

What? Canon-divergent AU. Porsche doesn’t sell the watch, and Kinn doesn’t kidnap him to recruit him. That doesn’t mean he’s prepared to leave him alone. Complete, 11k.

Why? I love canon-divergence. It’s one of my favourite tropes. And fics like this are why. They’re so soft in this one – wound-tending, bathing, all the hurt-comfort tropes. And Porsche’s confused horniness for Kinn is great and wonderfully in character – he really gets kissed once and goes, Okay, I guess I like guys now. Good shit.

All for Us by rebellconquerer (@rebellconquerer on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40326297

What? Post-canon character study. Porsche gets a new tattoo. Complete, 3.5k.

Why? rebellconquerer writes these fantastic, short snapshots of character interaction. This is no exception. Wonderful fic, wonderful premise, wonderfully executed. If you want more where this came from, check their tumblr.

wrapped around your finger (is my ring) by kittysawat https://archiveofourown.org/works/40793439

What? Fake relationship AU. Kinn hires Porsche to be his fiancé, to dodge an arranged marriage. WIP, 7k.

Why? So I guess Kinnporsche has cured me of my burning apathy for fake dating because I am all over this shit, and it’s only one chapter in. Author-san I am looking with Both My Eyes for your next update.

Machine Gun Kick by majestictortoise (@majestictortoise on tumblr) https://archiveofourown.org/works/40501785

What? Post-canon fic where Porsche investigates the incident at Yok’s bar during the finale -- and his investigation leads him to Kim. Complete, 14k

Why? I live for the Porsche and Kim dynamic, which we didn’t get to see at all in canon. It’s so much funnier if they actually get along. It’s so good. It feeds us so well. Heartfelt, entertaining, well-written. I love this fic so much.

between the sheets by DasWarSchonKaputt (dat’s me) https://archiveofourown.org/works/39409224

What? Fake dating/bodyguard AU. Porsche is hired to pretend to be Kinn’s boyfriend whilst secretly being his bodyguard. Complete, 70k.

Why? Cards on the table, I wrote this. And I think it’s fucking great. I know that sounds arrogant, but I really do rate this one. If you haven’t read it, or even if fake dating’s not really your thing – give it a shot. For me?

#kinnporsche fic rec #this is all incredibly subjective #i don't like leaving comments on ao3 - gives me mad anxiety #so this is i guess my substitute for that #please give these fics and their authors a lot of love #i may have missed some bc i had like 30 ao3 tabs open after going through my history #also there's no vegas/pete on this list bc i do not read fic for them #even kimchay i'm picky about #kinnporsche #i tried to strike a balance between what i feel are fandom classics #and lesser known fic that i've stumbled across #also i had to plug my own fic bc if you don't believe in yourself who will #i've been reliably informed it's good tho #i did this instead of replying to comments bc i'm a rebel #edited to add an author tumblr tag i found upon rereading gone fishing #and also to add machine gun kick #because it was a crime i forgot that one

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faelapis · 1 month

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this is relatively minor hazbin hotel criticism, among the various i've heard - but being 100% honest, the main reason i've stayed away from it is just that the music is bad.

it's so bad. every lyric sounds like a first draft.

#if you're going to sell yourself as a musical i'm going to judge you as a musical.#if disney put this in a newer movie soundtrack you would all hate it and deservedly so #(ignore the cursing and adult subject matter being an instant no-go for them. just focus on the lyrics and melodies lol)#not tagging the show because i dont want to lose a limb

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zee-has-commitment-issues · 1 month

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Alright besties, I have finished the season, and it is time to release my episode notes. I would like to call this my

Season Three Wrapped (Spoilers, duh)

I cried a whopping 25 times this season. I cried the most as Episode Six with 11 times sobbed I mentioned Nilcent a total of 4 times I asked where Walter was 3 times I said "I can't handle this" 12 times

Episode notes below the cut

Episode One:

I cried: three times

-Oh Kristina won’t even look at him. -Oh she’s sick’ -Well Linda’s fired up. -“You are a piss person” YES -TAKE HIS MONEY SIMON -boyfriend time omg -COZY OMG -THEY’RE SO CUTE I’M GONNA DIE -Oh shit they’re just exposing everything damn -No but I actually hate Linda rn tho -No but Kristina’s problem is that she needs Erik’s death to mean something and it never will. -STEDRIKA -Aw poor Felice is depressed -FINALLY SOMEONE WANTS TO MODERNIZE THE MONARCHY -Literally fuck you Linda -angry Simon FINALLY -NILCENT -KISSING IN PUBLIC -BOYFRIEND. THEY SAID THE WORD BOYFRIEND -OOH THEY KNEW ABOUT SARA -FUCKING MARCUS -PICTURES OF SIMON IN HIS ROOM OMG -THE HEART STILL ON HIS HAND I’M DYING -NILS MY BELOVED -SARA STILL HAS STELLAS SWEATER IM GONNA BE SICK -NO NOT MICKE STOP NO OMG EW NO -I love them for having an intervention for her -HE’S SMILING FINALLY OH MY GOD -HES TRACING OVER THE TATTOO IM GONNA DIE -Oh shit -Oh shit they’re blaming wilhelm -WHERE THE FUCK IS WALTER? -THEY X’D ANETTE OH HELL NO -NOT CLOSING DOWN HOLY SHIT -my candle just blew out and I don’t think that’s a good thing. -Why do I feel like it was Nils that came forward?

Episode 2

I cried: two times

Are they about to have phone sex?

Oh my god they’re having phone sex

Oh homophobia

Oh Jesus these reporters keep dragging Wilhelm into this

Oh damn Kristina is REALLY sick

And she really doesn’t want to talk to Wille damn

Farima is more of a mother to Wilhelm than Kristina is

Stop talking about Simon on the bus I will fight you

Oh this bitch is racist

THEY GET TO HIKE

YES YOU WILL GET TO SLEEP TOGETHER

I am once again asking where the hell Walter is

Micke good father arc? Excuse me?

Okay driving Queen

Wilhelm get out of choir

I literally hate this

NOT A SINGING ARC STOP

OH THEY’RE MAKING OUT NOW

I literally can’t tell if I hate this or not. Wilhelm please quit choir everyone is begging you

Fredrika being so depressed because she doesn’t have a cellphone is peak comedy

I THINK IT WAS NILS. OH THEY KNEW HE WAS GAY BECAUSE OF HIS INITIATION

NO NOT NILS CRYING OMG

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Damn didn’t think I’d feel bad for August but let the bitch run you know?

August please don’t electrocute yourself it’s not worth it

Oh he’s just gonna call Sara never mind

AUGUST OMG STOP MAKING ME FEEL BAD FOR YOU

OH THEY’RE GONNA FIGHT

NO LET THEM FIGHT MORE PLEASE IM BEGGING

DID SOMEONE SEND HIM CONVERSION CAMP SHIT?!

I’m gonna murder someone actually

Praying Simon sends this to Wilhelm and doesn’t post it because I can’t handle him getting into more public debate rn I will combust it is episode two

Don’t post it Simon don’t post it Simon don’t post it Simon

Well fuck

I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST IT SIMON

oh maybe it was ok

oh no it wasn’t

Damn

Well that was short lived.

I literally can’t handle this rn

Fuck.

SAY IT BACK

THANK GOD

Simon deserves to stand up to his mom and I love him for it

I need stedrika to be together instead of just acting like they are

I love them so much and I love them for trying even though they don’t understand what Felice is going through

FIRST WALTER SIGHTING

The big three sharing a tent I’m in heaven

ROSH AND AYUB SAVE THE PARTY SCENE

Oh my god Rosh and Stella is real

OH MY GOD FREDRIKA IS JEALOUS

OH MY GOOD GOD

JEALOUS FREDRIKA

THIS IS SO AWKWARD I’M GONNA DIE

Oh shit we’re fighting

Oh fucking hell NO PLEASE NO

OH THE QUEEN IS REALLY SICK OK

Episode 3

I cried: two times

Oh damn she’s like… suicidal

Wilhelm honey you don’t need everything on your shoulders omg

Oh he looks so small

STOP I HATE PEOPLE

I hate Linda the most rn

Wait the year is wrong on their hats isn’t it?

Never mind.

Oh damn Vincent called out

Oh damn August called out

People are gonna call Wilhelm selfish for this but I think it’s totally valid for him to be upset that Simon doesn’t care about his feelings rn I also think it’s valid for Simon to be distracted as he’s thrown into a world he doesn’t understand yet. I think they’re both selfish in this moment.

WILHELM QUIT CHOIR IM BEGGING YOU

YES TRICK AUGUST INTO THERAPY I’M BEGGING

Malte’s ability to shapeshift into this shitbag needs to be studied

Linda begging you to read the room

Literally fuck these guys leave Wilhelm alone

Simon cry baby. Do it. Cry.

YES THANK GOD LET IT OUT

FUCK NOW IM CRYING

I LIKE YOU SIMON. I DO.

WILHELM LIKES YOU. ROSH LIKES YOU. AYUB LIKES YOU

Simon’s no longer grounded and they’re gonna have sex

Are they gonna get caught making out by the school inspector because I literally cannot handle that

LMFAO

Henry and Walter shut your mouths you’re undoing all your hard fandom work

CAN VINCENT SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE

I love Felice getting to interact with her dad

Oh I’m sobbing again

Oh damn I’m nervous

FELICE I SWEAR IF YOUR THE REASON THIS SCHOOL GETS SHUT DOWN ISTG

Valborg is back, baby!

Sara’s gonna crash this car

Augusts gotta a little crazy in his eye lowkey and I don’t like it

Oh god he went to Micke’s

MICKE ERIKSSON OF BJÄRSTAD I'M SCREAMING

August…. Redemption arc???

No he made it about himself again never mind

THEY'RE BAKING OMG

Stedrika baking gfs

Sara and Felice be acting a little fruity ngl

No because Micke is kinda slaying this season by being the best parent and I was NOT prepared for that

WILHELM IN THE CHOIR WILL NEVER FAIL TO SEND ME LIKE BESTIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

HE'S NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING AND HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SING BESTIE I AM BEGGING YOU TO FIND ANOTHER HOBBY ANY OTHER HOBBY

SARA’S BACK THINGS ARE GONNA GET WEIRD

YESSSSS WILHELM’S GONNA FIND ANOTHER HOBBY MAYBE

aw baby Simon doesn’t enjoy singing anymore

THEY’RE GONNA FUCK

OMG THEY’RE GONNA FUCK

oh the girls are not happy about Sara being back

Wilmon only stopped for a second they are ON A MISSION

damn Micke why’d you let her down so soon

OH DAMN OH DAMN OH THEY'RE ON THEIR KNEES FOR EACH OTHER OK THEN

OH THIS IS EXPLICIT OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD OH

Wilhelm is a top confirmed I guess damn

WILHELM IS NOT A TOP CONFIRMED I GUESS

If Micke is drunk or high I swear to god

Ok we’re good I think

They’re nakey

Aw a little boy wants his picture. Like I know it’s gonna bite him in the ass later but it’s super cute rn

HAPPY BABY SIMON

Literally shut up Vincent stop making me hate you

And it bit him in the ass

Fuck. Simon go live at Hillerska I can’t handle this rn

Episode 4

I cried: three times

FUCK HE’S CRYING ALREADY

I know this isn’t the point but them calling each other boyfriend makes me want to giggle like a child every time because OMG

oh they’re taking a test and they’re all cheating

VINCENT SHUT UP

NO WILHELM NOT THE PRIVILEGE NOT A PUNISHMENT LINE PLEASE THATS YOUR MOTHER’S PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU

Simon and Wilhelm both having a crisis about their future because they don’t have a choice is gonna make me hurl I can’t do this

August around Sara season 3 has Wilhelm around Simon season 1 energy and I can’t

Oh did something happen to the Queen? Why are they acting like he’s the king right now?

OH SHE’S SO SICK OMG

Farima knows how to handle him and and that’s amazing

Fuck they’re erasing him

She passed!

Again Micke is running away with the parent Olympics and that is BAD

He deleted his accounts 😭

WILHELM STOP THIS NOW. YOU DO REPRESENT QUEER PEOPLE LET IT BE KNOWN JESUS CHRIST

That poor dude shaved his head for no reason

Nilcent moment

HENRY AND WALTER

I simply love Henry

August is a good leader and I hate it so much

WHERE IS ANETTE LILJA BRING HER BACK.

Vincent, you look ridiculous. Stand up.

Wilhelm you’re a hypocrite don’t make me mad at you I am BEGGING.

Stop clapping for him. He doesn’t deserve this.

DRAG HER ASS SIMON

Vincent I’m so mad at you but that was kind of a slay

They really said “we might give up because we don’t have dinner” and that is the most privileged accurate thing that could have happened

Henry and Walter offering 300 for a half eaten lollipop is SO ME

August just admitted to being anorexic and no one batted an eye like???!

VINCENT ADHD CONFIRMED THANK GOD

Oh shit the boys are fighting

Henry spent 2500 on a bag of chips I’m CRYING

“Show your dick for Hillerska” I’M SCREAMING

FELICE IS YOU GET THIS SCHOOL SHUT DOWN ISTFG

THEM WAKING UP ON THE FLOOR TOGETHER I’M NOT OK

THEY DID IT BOYS! SUCCESS

Nilcent moment

FUCK Sara I hate you I love you I’m mad at you

I love Rosh and Ayub and I know they’re trying to be good friends but like… yall gotta support him at some point

Oh god oh no. Erik did it. Erik did the homophobic initiation. Oh this is gonna break him. Oh god

No ERIK I TRUSTED YOU ERIK I BELIEVED IN YOU ERIK I WROTE A BOOK ABOUT YOU OMG PLEASE I CAN'T OMG NO ERIK PLEASE ERIK

But who got beaten up? Who got the boner? Was it Nils? Was it Vincent? WAS IT AUGUST? It had to have been Nils, right?

Episode 5

I cried: four times

They’re absolutely going to break up this episode. I can feel it.

Oh he’s having a nightmare right?

they’re passing notes and no one is ok

Vincent you can’t be mean and gay and homophobic and racist. I need you to pick a struggle.

Fredrika gf era

Don’t be drunk don’t be drunk don’t be drunk don’t be drunk

Don’t be high don’t be high don’t be high don’t be high

What the hell is in August's letter I need to know

I’m literally not okay with the fact that Wilhelm is raising himself right now

Wilhelm’s idol being crushed in between his fingers and having no one to talk to about it is making me want to kill someone

NO DON'T IGNORE SIMON PLEASE OMG

Please tell me Wilhelm has chosen another hobby

NO WILHELM PLEASE FIND ANOTHER HOBBY YOU LITERALLY HATE SINGING

don’t lie don’t lie

Wilhelm stop projecting i’m begging

The music room is homophobic I can’t take this anymore they couldn’t even get off in there like please

WHAT'S IN THE LETTER

WHAT'S IN THE LETTER SARA PLEASE

Micke you were doing so well

Micke please

Stop comparing Simon and Felice, Wilhelm it never landed you anywhere good

WILHELM PURPLE NAILS

MICKE NO

MICKE PLEASE YOU WERE DOING SO WELL

MICKE

MICKE NO

Linda literally fuck you you don’t know anything I hate you so much take a break please I used to love you so much I’m going to scream

Simon can’t take care of everyone all the time please give him a break

HIS PURPLE NAILS I CAN'T

NO SWEETHEART DON'T TAKE IT OFF NO PLEASE

Them all dressed as waiters is sending me into orbit

WILHELM BIRTHDAY SIMON SINGING STOP THIS IS SO CUTE

SIMON MADE THE SANDWICH THIS SEASON I'M LOSING IT

August and Wilhelm should not be able to sit in the same car in case of another Erik situation. That is the entire Swedish line of succession in one vehicle.

Wilhelm got one good dick and suddenly started liking kids

WILHELM WHY WOULD YOU TALK ABOUT POISON RIGHT NOW

the breakup is coming I can feel it

Nilcent moment

This is the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen in my life I can’t hand this

HIS BIRTHDAY SONG IS ABOUT A FROG I CAN'T HANDLE THIS

Sara and August things are weird

NO NOT A NEW WATCH LET HIM KEEP THE OLD ONE OMG

I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

oh August is chugging wine

On a chair no less

What have they done to Felice? No actually what did they do to Felice this season? I’m not okay with it.

The birthday dinner is so uncomfortable that I actually can’t handle it like I will have to actively skip it every time

I’m convinced they’re reading fanfic at this point I’m not able to think of any other explanation for some of this

“Class Bad Boy” is August. Oh god if they only knew

They call him Agge I hate August but omf that is so cute

If they get back together and Felice sees it all hell will break loose and I am sure that is what is going to happen

WHAT'S IN THE LETTER

August’s letter just made me sob wtf

fucking Fredrika

Fuck Wilhelm stop. Stop sabotaging yourself

Welp he’s popping off and Simon’s gonna dip

Oh god

Oh my good god

Oh I can’t handle this

Simon can’t either

If Linda is the reason Wilmon breaks up and I will murder someone

THEY JUST BROKE UP AND THE SHOW ENDED LIKE

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Episode 6

I cried: ELEVEN TIMES

No they’re so sad omg

“It feels like you two are never really over” she’s right

WILHELM TAKES RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS OWN PROBLEMS I CAN'T I’M SO PROUD

Has that one extra been a 3rd year this whole time?

Walty moment

MICKE?

Not Micke just a car

Sara better be the reason they get back together

Walter’s outfit slays

HOLY SHIT HILLERSKA STOPS MID DAY JUST LIKE THAT

Oh August broke

The third year trio breaking down together I literally cannot take this I will break

Rosh and Ayub I need you to take a chill pill

NO THE BOOK OMG

POOR ONE OUT FOR HILLERSKA

August coming clean omg

Can’t believe Vincent is the voice of reason

OMG CHESS HAS ACTUALLY BEEN A METAPHOR I’M NOT MAKING SHIT UP

Oop library

Panic attack

HENRY FUCK OFF

“WE’RE LIKE BROTHERS” OK I'LL FORGIVE YOU HENRY BUT ONLY BECAUSE OF THAT

HUSFAR DOING SHOTS OMG

emo Wille is killing me. Like same.

PLEASE HE ATE THAT

PARTY PRINCE

I love Malin being in on it

PARTY PRINSEN

FAKE GRASS

REVOLUTION PLAYING

August and wille????

Understanding

Oh god I’m not surviving this conversation

Oh fuck that HURT

Fruity?

Not fruity ok

Yay Sara

Felice and Sara made me cry

ROSH AND STELLA OMG

NILS CAME OUT OMG OMG

VINCENT IS THE BEST ALLY OMG OMG

SAUGUST BREAKUP OMG

“YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON YOU BECOME WITH ME” OMFG

“IT'LL PASS” OMFG SHE SAID THE THING

The boys’ immediate “we should leave” they’re learning slowly but surely

OH THE LAKE

IT TAKES A FOOL TO REMAIN SANE OMFG

I’m shaking

Oh their breakup is killing me entirely I am sobbing like a child

THOSE ARE BARE BUTTS OMFG

STEDRIKA

Henry and Walter OMFG

THE LIGHTS

his song omg

WE HAD SIMON’S SONG AND NOW WE HAVE WILLE’S SONG AND I LITERALLY CAN’T TAKE THIS RN

MIN REVOLUTION

SNOWGLOBE IN THE TRASH OH HE’S ABDICATING. OH SHIT HE’S ABDICATING. I DON’T NEED TO SEE THE REST I KNOW HE’S ABDICATING

THEY HAVE LAST NAMES

WILHELM QUIT CHOIR THANK GOD

HILLERSKA’S FIGHT IS FAR FROM OVER

THEY’RE SINGING SIMONS VERSION I CAN'T HANDLE THIS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS

BORIS AND WILLE

MAMMA OCH PAPPA ÄR HÄR

KRISTINA APOLOGY

Nothing was in vain and I never gave up

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD SUMMER OMFG

NEW YORK

Oh he’s talking about not wanting it

HE DOESN'T WANT THIS

SHES GONNA GIVE IT TO AUGUST

OMG HE'S GONNA DO IT

Oh August just realized he’s gonna be king

ALL THAT RUNNING PAYING OFF BABES

He’s in the backseat

Felice is in the front

She didn’t go to new York

ENDGAME BITCHES

No I can’t handle a fucking montage rn

THE FINAL WALL BREAK

#tag yourself.#i'm literally all of them because they came from my brain #young royals #unhinged zee hours #yr s3

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 3 months

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headcanons for how long each of the prosecutors sleeps for

edgeworth: now that he’s not getting nightmares every night he gets more sleep than he used to. it’s certainly still not enough, but definitely better. he tries to get more sleep because he knows it’s good for him but he doesn’t always have the time and sometimes he’s just too stressed because everyone who works in his office is insane.

franziska: she sleeps exactly 6 hours per night down to the minute, no more, no less. it keeps her perfectly refreshed and wastes none of her time. she has it down to a science. this period of 6 hour-sleep can occur any time within a 24 hour window and no one understands it except her.

godot: NO SLEEP. ONLY CAFFEINE.

klavier: he needs his 10+ hours of beauty sleep every night or he’ll be extremely cranky. 2 of these hours are reserved for nightmares about his evil brother and the rest are for having clear skin and silky hair. if you interrupt him you will get yelled at and have some very scathing song lyrics written about you.

simon: have you seen this man’s eyebags? professional insomniac. he did not sleep more than 2 hours per night the whole time he was in prison. he’s recovering now so theoretically he can sleep for longer, but he chooses not to because the eyebags are part of his Aesthetic now. taka sleeps for longer than him.

nahyuta: over the past few years he has been getting progressively less and less sleep as his aunt’s icy grip tightens over him and he descends further into madness and depression and self-loathing due to the everlasting torture inflicted on him to force him into committing atrocities against his will... but he’s okay now, so he’s doing his best. the Horrors will subside over time.

#guess who can't sleep? that's right it's me #tag yourself i'm godot #ace attorney #random stuff #can't be bothered to tag them all #trying to get back into lawyer mood for the aj trilogy next week

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ghoul-slime · 6 months

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Ghouls & Their Favorite Horror Movies (1980s edition)

In honor of Halloween being just a few days away (!!!) have some thoughts about the ghouls and their favorite horror movies. Narrowed down to the 1980s because that's probably my favorite decade for horror (shoutout to the 70s though).

Dew: City of the Living Dead, The Evil Dead, Pieces, Cannibal Holocaust

Resident horror snob and ultimate gorehound. The bloodier, sleazier, and more fucked up the better. Huge fan of the Italian horror directors, especially “Godfather of Gore” and king of onscreen eyeball trauma Lucio Fulci. City of the Living Dead (aka The Gates of Hell) is his favorite, it’s gory, blasphemous, and just obscure enough for him to feel smug when nobody else has heard of it. The biggest horror fan of the group, he’s seen it all and is always on the hunt for something weird and new that he hasn’t seen yet (a difficult task). Introduced pretty much all of the other ghouls to their favorite horror movies.

Aether: Return of the Living Dead, Re-Animator, Night of the Creeps, Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Lover of all the best 80s horror comedies. Silly and fun without being too intense or mean-spirited. The more over the top the better. Aether movie nights are always the most fun. Loves Return of the Living Dead because of the awesome punk rock soundtrack and 80s punk aesthetic. Secretly loves horror comedies the best because he gets to see Dew laughing the whole time. He and Dew are the most annoying about quoting movies back and forth to each other nonstop.

Mountain: The Thing, They Live, Aliens, From Beyond

Loves his horror with a side of sci-fi. Major John Carpenter and Stuart Gordon fan (who isn’t). Also a huge fan of sci-fi horror with amazing practical effects and The Thing is the king of them all (he loves the original too, for the plant-man monster of course).

Swiss: Hellraiser, Videodrome, Society, Street Trash

Body horror enthusiast. If it's slimy, horny, and taboo then he’s all about it. Unsurprisingly the biggest Cronenberg fan of the bunch. Huge fan of the Hellraiser series, what with all the leather and the chains and the flesh. Will also sit you down and force you to watch Society if you’ve never seen it (you will thank him later).

Phantom: The Monster Squad, Fright Night, The Lost Boys, Near Dark

Of course it’s gotta be The Monster Squad. Phantom loves the classic Universal Monsters and Monster Squad has them all, wrapped up in a super fun 80s horror comedy with great writing and memorable characters. Will undoubtedly yell WOLFMAN’S GOT NARDS at the most inopportune times. Loves vampire movies the most and secretly thinks of his pack a little bit like the group of vampires in Near Dark.

Aurora: Night of the Comet, Slumber Party Massacre, Phenomena, Sleepaway Camp 2

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS. Loves seeing pretty women absolutely kick ass onscreen. And any horror movie with a female villain will almost always become a favorite. Loves Night of the Comet because why shouldn’t a couple of valley girl cheerleaders get to enjoy a mall shopping spree while also mowing down hordes of comet zombies with machine guns?

Cirrus: Possession, Altered States, The Shining, the Ninth Configuration

Queen of psychological horror. Her picks usually toe the line between horror and other genres. Cirrus movie nights almost always have to come with a “palate cleanser” movie right after (usually a Cumulus or Aether pick). Dew secretly thinks she has the coolest taste of the bunch.

Cumulus: Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Blood Diner, TerrorVision

80s horror comedies (horny version). Like Aether, Cumulus loves horror comedies. But for her, the sexier and more ridiculous the better. Always thinks a movie would do better with more boobs and full-frontal. Vocal advocate for more male nudity in movies. Linnea Quigley is her horror idol.

Sunshine: Slumber Party Massacre 2, Black Roses, Trick or Treat, Slaughterhouse Rock

Number one champion of the rock & roll horror subgenre. Horror and rock music were both public enemy number one during the Satanic Panic of the 80s, and Sunny loves movies that lean into it. Slumber Party Massacre 2 is the most fun with the leather-clad rockabilly slasher facing off against members of an all-girl rock group with his massive (unmistakably phallic) electric guitar-drill.

Rain: Jaws 3, Humanoids from the Deep, The Fog, The Abyss

Absolutely nobody is shocked to discover Rain is a fan of underwater/nautical horror. He doesn’t even care if a movie is “good” as long as it’s wet and full of weird monsters or creatures. Avid defender of Jaws 3 (it has dolphins, hello). His taste is all over the place quality-wise, from b-movie creature features like Humanoids, to the cozy coastal ambiance of the Fog. As the only ghoul who can breathe underwater, he loves to watch others squirm during the breathing fluid scene in the Abyss.

#nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #aether ghoul #rain ghoul #swiss army ghoul #swiss ghoul #phantom ghoul #mountain ghoul #aurora ghoulette #cirrus ghoulette #cumulus ghoulette #sunshine ghoulette #tag yourself i'm all of them but mostly dew and aether #ghoul-slime headcanons #halloween ghouls

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