#tagged in order by number

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 18

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Weirdly enough the only thing that FF can think of as they head down the stairs is the first Saw movie.

That one happened IN a bathroom right? He kind of watched all of them in a row to prepare himself for whatever Andrew might decide to do to him. But he’s near positive that one happened in a bathroom. It was derelict and he didn’t think it really had running water (or did it? Didn’t the guy wake up in a half-full tub? His memory is hazy in his bathroom related desperation and may be trying to protect him from thinking about water).

All leading to the main thought going through his head as he slowly headed down the narrow stairway to his death.

Would Andrew let him use the facilities before he’s handcuffed to a pipe?

The worst part about all of this is that he is not sure if he needs to take a dump or if he just needs to fart, he knows he has to take a piss. He’s read that when you die your body will relax and it’ll all just flow out of you and Nicky gave him these pants so he feels bad but he also does not want to face his death without pants. If he needs to take a shit then they’re definitely going to be absolutely ruined, if it’s a fart well…Andrew can’t kill him any further? He can mutilate his corpse a little but FF won’t be around to experience it.

No matter what he’s definitely going to piss himself. He had way too much water at Sweeties trying to consume the spicy ice cream.

You may be wondering why FF has not run away from his predicament and is walking down these steps without protest or comment or plea for his life.

First of all he is pretty sure that if he makes any sudden movements he will ruin these pants that Nicky bought for him. Second of all Andrew had already told him once that he wouldn’t accept any pleading for mercy he still remembers how he asked Andrew, “Please give me back my pen?” and Andrew had shot him a look that had his stomach cramp and his fingers itch for the bottle sweet pink relief in his backpack.

“I don’t like that word, don’t use it around me.” He said.

FF ever the pragmatic sort, “Which one?” He had asked because he had said a few, “I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding.” He followed up with when Andrew glowered at him only for the glare’s intensity to increase 10 fold.

“Don’t use the first word of your first statement or the last word of your second.” Andrew grit out and got up to leave without a word.

Message received loud and clear Andrew did NOT like words ‘Please’ or ‘Misunderstanding’.

So FF knows that any pleading for mercy would ABSOLUTELY result in Andrew not letting him take a bathroom break before him and Captain Neil make destroying him into a couple activity. The fact that Captain Neil is here is a bit of a shock but maybe Captain Neil has finally gotten the other Freshman Dealer up to snuff.

Maybe Kevin really did want to dissect him to figure out how Strikers keep passing straight to him?

They reach the door at the bottom of the stairs.

Ah, time to face the music.

At least he’d texted Gran that he was going to die when they had gotten into the club and the bathroom had not made itself readily apparent. Sure it was about his current ‘gotta piss / gotta shit’ situation but he’d been wise to keep his cause of death vague in that text.

The door opens and…

This is the NICEST torture chamber FF has EVER seen. (And after his desperation watch of all the Saw movies he has seen quite a FEW)

“Minyard, Josten, and Guest. Table 6 is yours.” A voice comes from the side and when he looks over there’s a man in quite a nice uniform standing behind a soft-lit bar polishing a glass looking every bit like a bar tender at those high-end places you see in movies. He looks around a bit more and there are some other people down here. It’s not quiet per se but it is a comfortable level of noise in comparison to the IQ dropping noise upstairs.

“C’mon Smith.” Andrew juts his chin towards a table in the back.

FF follows but continues to try and fit this nice little room into his world view.

Do these people watch other people get tortured to death for fun on a Friday night? Unlikely considering the upholstery on the booths and chairs looked like it’d stain if blood got on it. Was this perhaps a trafficking location where Andrew would sell off his organs to the highest bidder? He looked at the other patrons who seemed a bit higher class than the general club scene upstairs but not like they had the money to buy one of his kidneys. Maybe-

“Do not tell Nicky about this place, ever.” Andrew says as they slide into the booth. FF nods but can’t help but tilt his head slightly in an unspoken question, “He would absolutely tell any and everyone about it. Eden’s wants to keep this place a secret from the general public.” Andrew explains.

“Nicky currently thinks that there’s a straight swingers club down here.” Captain Neil says with a huff of laughter.

“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.” Floats through his head again.

What the fuck was a swinger?

His fingers itch for his phone but he’s currently talking with Andrew and Captain Neil so that’d be rude but they’re talking to him like he absolutely knows what a swinger is and he DOES NOT.

“It’s quieter down here. Figured you’d prefer it.” Andrew says as he gets up and heads towards the bar down here where the bartender was aggressively cutting ice chunks.

He and Captain Neil sit in silence for a few seconds before Captain Neil offers him a slight smile, “I know you’d rather be with your grandma and you and Andrew prefer not to say things out loud but we’ve really liked hanging out with you.” Captain Neil says.

????????????????????????????????????????????????

That’s such a nice thing to say to someone.

Especially someone like FF.

Especially especially when they’re planning on killing him?

He hopes his confusion stays off his face as he nods once. “It’s been fun.” It’s not even really a lie. Thanksgiving yesterday had been nice and loud and FF had missed the chaos of a Family Dinner more than he had ever realized. The car ride had been…a time but once he’d asked Andrew to either keep his eyes on the road or let him out Andrew’s hands had stayed at 10 and 2 and the ride had been smooth. Aaron and Nicky’s weight against him had been nice too, a warm memory before he developed a possible life long aversion to whipped cream. He’d gotten to go Black Friday shopping and Captain Neil even helped carry it home for him. Baking bad been nice even if the stress of doing it with his life on the line was less so. The subsequent nap and day spent doing normal college guy things had been…it’d all been nice.

It’s starting to feel like….

“Drink this.” Andrew puts a drink down in front of him.

No Andrew definitely wants his bladder to burst.

“What is it?” He asks instead looking at the creamy looking drink with suspicion.

Andrew rolls his eyes as he hands Neil a fruity looking drink as he sits with what is a few fingers of scotch. “It’s virgin.” Andrew says not answering the question at all and must pick up that FF won’t be drinking it until he gets the full answer because he continues after a moment, “It’s like a Pina Colada but with bananas instead.” Andrew answers.

It’s not that FF hates banana but why in the world would Andrew grab him this? Was it just one of the few virgins options on this place’s fancy menu or-

“Bananas will help get your stomach acid back down.” Andrew says, “Since you’re an idiot and ate that mango ice cream just because you wanted to impress that girl.” He rolls his eyes.

“Impress that girl?” There weren’t any girls at the table and how in the world would him eating that god-forsaken spicy ice cream impress anyone other than Betsy. Even Betsy would only be impressed by the depths he was willing to reach just to avoid what he perceives as an awkward social situation.

“The waitress.” Neil reminds him as if that cleared anything up.

“Yeah,” he says as if he has understood the conversation but he has not. “It was spicy mango.” He says because maybe if he keeps the conversation going he’ll get enough context clues to understand what might be his last conversation.

Andrew let out a huff of laughter and pushed FF’s drink closer to him, “Drink your fancy Banana smoothie Casanova.” He says.

No closer to understanding the conversation he accepts that it might be something that only becomes clear after he sheds his mortal coil and is no longer given a -10 INT debuff by his full bladder and revolting stomach.

He takes a sip.

Oh that’s actually pretty good.

It feels like he can feel it sizzling in his stomach and soothing the discomfort there. Maybe he should look into Banana smoothies as a replacement for what Abby has called a ‘concerning co-dependence’ in regards to Pepto Bismol. No one can put him on a medical watch if it’s just banana smoothies he’s chugging down like they’re going out of style.

“Thanks,” he says, “that was good.” He admits before reaching into his jacket and moving past the Megamind toy and grabbing his wallet. “What do I owe you for that?” He asks.

“We’re even.” Andrew waves away the money.

“You bought the stuff for breakfast, those brownies, and the pie tomorrow.” Neil says and FF blinks surprised to hear that they were talking about the pie he didn’t think he was going to get the chance to make.

“You don’t need to buy a spot with us.” Andrew says and FF leans back slightly at the intensity on Andrew’s face as he says it. “I invited you here because I wanted to. The brownies were good but if you don’t feel like making the pie tomorrow? It’s not like I’m going to drive you back to Palmetto and leave you on Abby’s doorstep.” He says.

FF feels gears start to turn in his head.

“It’s good pie.” He hears himself say.

“I didn’t even know about the pie when I invited you.” Andrew says and…

Andrew and FF sit in silence but honestly it’s not like Andrew’s sharpening his knives. The two of them mostly just do their own work or read. FF has been getting his German literacy up to snuff so that he can read the language when he goes there to visit Nicky’s fiance next year. He likes how serious Andrew is about learning it so that he doesn’t have to ask Captain Neil a thousand questions and it’d be nice if Andrew wasn’t obviously planning on murdering him.

Andrew brings dried apples and sends Captain Neil along with probiotic yogurts to their meetings. Both of those things tend to soothe his stomach and the yogurt that had been unflavored before was now vanilla which he liked a fair bit. It would have been a really nice gesture if it wasn’t for the fact that Andrew was making fun of his tummy troubles.

Andrew will put his foot down in practice sometimes when Kevin is getting too demanding wanting to know exactly how FF intercepted his passes to Neil. Kevin always backs off and Andrew will do the same when Jack starts to get a little too personal in his attacks at FF or when Sheena decides she’s going to be a bitch. It’d be nice if it wasn’t Andrew staking his claim that he was the one who was going to make FF’s life miserable.

Andrew drove FF around for an hour after Greg had shown up. He found out later from one of his friends that Andrew had threatened Greg after he had power walked away into the building. Andrew had driven him around and had only started heading towards the tower when FF had relaxed. It would have been nice if Andrew wasn’t trying to lure him into a false sense of security.

Andrew had invited him to his Family’s house over Thanksgiving when the bad storm had ruined his Thanksgiving plans. Andrew had threatened Jack to stop him from eating his Grandma’s pie and complaining about it. Andrew had stopped messing around with Captain Neil when FF had made it clear he was uncomfortable being in a car where the driver wasn’t paying attention to the road. Andrew had twice made him go to bed in the last couple hours.

It’d be nice if…

“We’ve really liked hanging out with you” Captain Neil had said.

Andrew was just trying to be nice.

Embarrassment rolls over him like a wave but FF has many years of pretending like he’s not going to die from embarrassment, “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll still probably make the pie tomorrow.” He offers.

Andrew’s eyes change slightly and FF is under the impression that he’s happy to hear that.

“Just enjoy your drink Smith.” Andrew says.

FF does go back to sipping his drink and letting more and more memories of things Andrew had done come to him and lets his embarrassment grow.

He finishes his drink and only then realizes that he is a code red in terms of bladder capacity. The new knowledge that this is not a torture chamber but in fact yet another overture of friendship from Andrew paired with his desperation finally loosens the question from his mouth, “Where’s the bathroom here?” He asks.

“There isn’t one downstairs but just head up stairs and hug the wall to the left.” Captain Neil answers.

“Bring your phone. If Frank doesn’t recognize you to let you back in.” Andrew reminds him.

FF nods and heads out of the club and up the stairs.

He might be doing a bit of a potty dance so he forces himself to become unnoticeable because he does not need cool people at a cool club to see him about to piss himself. Once he enters into a stealth mode that the United States Military would like to talk to him about he hugs the wall and nearly cries tears of relief when he sees a door labelled MEN.

He doesn’t think about the possibility of letting up on stealth mode because he is sure that he is about to make a face that he does NOT want any human being to see when he unzips his pants and starts to take the world’s most life-affirming piss on the planet.

As his bladder empties his brain is able to process the understanding that he had come to down in the basement he had thought would be his final resting place.

Andrew has been trying to be nice (and succeeding it was all so nice! He feels like an asshole! He is an asshole! Gran always told him that assuming makes an Ass out of U and Me. He had just thought it was funny grandma humor not valuable life advice!)

The night wasn’t going to end with Andrew’s knife in his stomach, it was probably just going to end with Nicky puking on his shoes (which is fine because these are the shoes Nicky was letting him borrow for the club anyways, they’re his shoes to puke onto.)

A secondary relief fills his system. His stomach, soothed by the Banana smoothie and now this, feels like it might actually let him live through the night.

While FF was distracted with a piss that would have made any number of cult leaders jealous with the number of divine revelations he was experiencing he failed to notice a second man enter the bathroom.

There was a reason that FF always ALWAYS became noticeable when he was at a urinal and the man who came to the urinal right next to him was showcasing that VERY reason.

He was trapped here for at least ten more seconds and he could hear the man grumbling distractedly but didn’t really pay it too much attention until…

“Fucking Wesninski Brat.” He grumbled under his breath.

Oh god dammit.

NEXT

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing​ @bushbees​  @roonilwazlib-main​ @crumplelush​ @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear​

#Fluent Freshman AU #FINALLY CAN PUT DOWN MY TAGS #You have no idea the number of times that I had to sing hollaback girl to myself during this #It was B-A-N-A-N-A-S #We have now closed the 'Andrew is going to crazy murder me' emotional arc #The 'Oh god if Andrew or Neil find out that I know Russian they're going to stop being my friends and hate me' arc begins #He's gotten a confirmed 3 friends today #And he got to go to the bathroom #He's riding a high #Not only is it 3 friends it is 3 friends who like him enough to invite him to spend the holiday break together #That's so nice #Andrew is so nice #FF cannot BELIEVE he thought Andrew 'eat these dried apples' Minyard was going to stab him #Captain Neil is lucky to have him #Also Andrew is lucky to have Captain Neil #Neil and Andrew are definitely down in the Speakeasy right now enjoying FF's bathroom break #Andrew's ordered FF another round of Banana daiquiri #Andrew: I can't believe he ate that ice cream. His stomach must have been killing him. #Neil: Yeah he was really pale and sweaty until he started drinking that banana drink #Neil: I'm a little worried about Smith finding the bathroom. Maybe I should go up? #Andrew hand on Neil's thigh: he'll be fine. We can go look if he's not back in 10. #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG #AFTG Shitpost #AFTG Fic #My Fic #Andreil #FF - Pt.18

[hoarding-stories]

Continuing my lore note-taking:

1423- the term "lingua arcana" is coined

1440-the first college of summoners

1456- 3rd college of summoners, founding of the conclave of magi, the term wizard is largely accepted

1464- Siraz Imperium approaches the conclave in a show of support, wants to give money to help further wizardry

Two factions in the conclave, the Acordati and the Antivily.

Acordati- lingua arcana should belong to all peoples, accept help to continue their goals & better the world/people

Antivily- should refuse the offer & not accept help from the Imperium

The two factions fought, Antivily lost, 3 years later Eriean is formed & white desert created

#worlds beyond number #wbn #wbn spoilers #wwwo #wwwo spoilers #wbn lore #gonna start using that tag i think #in order to find things latee #im not in school anymore #so im getting my fill of note-taking through fantasy means #absolutely fascinating stuff

[utilitycaster]

I don't begrudge anyone their campaign preferences, and I think there's plenty of valid reasons to like Campaign 3 the best and this is not directed at people who are genuinely having a great time with it, but it feels like virtually all the nostalgia and wishful thinking I see surrounding Campaign 3 is screaming "you guys want Campaign 2." You want more slow travel and downtime and interparty conversations and slow-burn romance? You wish their main focus was fighting governmental corruption? You want a party that only semi-settles down at the end and keeps adventuring and remains very close? You're frustrated by how everpresent and overarching the moon plot is? You miss when they were just fucking around in a city? I genuinely believe you want Campaign 2, or at best you love a specific ship or a character from Campaign 3 but aren't happy about basically anything else, and would vastly prefer the tone and events and plot of Campaign 2. And I don't really care if you watch Campaign 2, or if you think I'm being annoying here; I simply genuinely believe you'd be happier watching Campaign 2 than Campaign 3 and are so deep in a sunk cost fallacy well you can't see it.

#the number of people who SCREAM if you imply campaign 3 is not the greatest campaign but also openly resent the moon focus is. high. #i've had my complaints about the people from c1 who would shit on c2 but i'll give them this: they actually do love c1. #it feels a lot of people just want bells hells at a chuck e cheese birthday party and like. that's not campaign 3 babe. #i actually have grown to really like the moon plot once it finally took off #and c3 has had some satisfying lore resolutions and new places #but it feels like the people who showed up to ship kind of hate the core plot of the campaign which. is the core plot of the campaign. #cr tag #this is intended to be read in conversation with the post from earlier about things not being deep too #like it's ok if your blorbo or otp is in c3...but if that's the only thing you love do you love the campaign or do you just love them #also. i also don't begrudge anyone their reasons for watching a show #but I've seen like three people i follow try to watch wot solely bc Lanfear is hot and give up bc there's so much lore #and people get mad candela didn't give them a happy ending for their ship #it really is like did you show up for c3 or did you show up for a blorbo delivery system #not realizing this is prix fixe instead if made to order

[worshippdsun]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway I just wanted to draw each of them at least once to like... get their faces down in more practice + make consistent color palettes to reference (based on official art but some stuff is tweaked to make it more cohesive or for my personal liking)

i AM reclaiming some of these guys for the brown eyed girlies (gender neutral) because I SAY SO, and on that topic, shoutout to @ozianthus-arts for being so right because I, too, think Demoman should have more cool hairstyles and I am taking part in the propaganda

#fan art #worshippdsun art #artists on tumblr #digital art #tf2 #oh god i have to do all the different character tags in the two ways i do them #or not idk #soldier tf2 #demoman tf2 #sniper tf2 #pyro tf2 #spy tf2 #scout tf2 #engineer tf2 #heavy tf2 #medic tf2 #if you're wondering what the numbers mean it's just the order in which i drew/inked them in case you were curious abt the process #no other meaning #team fortress 2 #i do plan to do this for some other characters in tf2 but idk how soon or if it'll be the exact same format #so keep an eye out for miss pauling and the administrator and scout's mom and such #image described #id in alt text #oh god that was so long i was so worried i'd run out of characters to describe these

[lessthanimpressedlesbian]

#shadowgast #beauyasha #percahlia #perc'ahlia #widomauk #widojest #fjorjester #beaujester #widobrave #widofjord #imodna #i was gonna tag every character but you know what #i dont have the energy anymore #critical role #also these numbers are as of today #i just wanna see if the poll responses will correlate with the number of fics for each relationship #i put them in order intentionally

[wildmrmix]

Skimming The Outsiders, here’s quotes, or whatever it’s called. Lines? It’s words on a page that I saw and wrote down

“I’m a night,��� Marcia said brightly. (page 28)

“Yeah” I sighed, wishing I had some paint to do a picture with while the sight was still fresh in my mind. (page 77)

Soda can make anyone grin. (page 101)

I remembered my mother . . . beautiful and golden, like Soda, and wise and firm, like Darry. (page 123)

“Why do people sell liquor to boys? Why? I know there’s a law against it, but kids get it anyway.” (page 129)

“— I have a pretty good build for my size, but I’d lost a lot of weight in Windrixville and it just didn’t fit right.” (page 132)

I backed up, just like a frightened animal, shaking my head. “I’m okay” I felt sick. I felt as if any minute I was going to fall flat on my face, but I shook my head. “I don’t want to sit down.” (page 153)

But Johnny was right. He died gallant. (page 154)

I had never given Bob much thought—I hadn’t had time to think. But that day I wondered about him. What was he like? (page 162)

I guess I was still out of shape, because we all three tied. No. I guess we all just wanted to stay together. (page 177)

#wildtalks #mostly just stuff i found neat #put them in page number order #tagging most of them #the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #marcia the outsiders #cherry valance #everyone after this is mentioned/ referenced -> #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #darrel curtis #dallas winston #johnny cade #bob sheldon

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Peter Parker if he got bit by a radioactive sword ☢️🟢⚔️

if I had a nickel for every time I made a Spider-Man au based off a video game, I'd have three nickels, which isn't a lot but it's concerning that it's happened three times. This au is the spidey/final fantasy vii mashup, where Peter becomes the Unreliable Narrator

anyway someone pretty please write this au for me <333 I'll pay you <3333333

bg variants under the cut

the BIGGEST dilemma(s) was figuring out if I should

A) keep the eyes in my art style (no colours, just the highlight), bc ngl it makes him seem more babey (pic 1),,, or

B) add the mako-glow to the eyes so i could be lore-accurate.... also I spent a lot of time!! on colouring in those pixels!!!!! dammit!!!!!!!!! (pic 2) and

C) OF COURSE i was struggling to choose between the white and red backgrounds!!!!! evil me!!!!!!! making difficult creative decisions!!!!!!

i will,,,, try to draw the other peeps as well (mj as tifa and gwen as aerith ,,, mmm yesss esysey yes ssss) but i fear the monkey brain has already died........ i will try tho,,,,,,,,,,

#finally. i drew the little freaky white boy after.... many many months of not drawing him #do you see the little spider :) it's. it's because he's spider-man!! (it's a very ugly spider i forgive you if you can't find it) #bro looks like a kpop idol im literally screaming #dance for us baby boy. honey bee inn that shit. crank that soulja boy. break it til ya make it #listen i have to draw peter in cloud's pretty blue dress sometime otherwise i WILL explode........... #anyway be like me and refuse to draw legs !!!!!! what are lower limbs!!!!???? who cares !!!!!! just run away when confronted by femurs!!!!! #you would not believe how long i had to stare at cloud's arms in order to make sense of them. why are his triceps so fucked up #many times i had to stop myself from jumping into my laptop screen and succumb to the fiery CPU death bc MY GOD.... #i am SWEATING..... EURHG #also obviously new colouring/shading thing again.... ough...... consistent art style WHEN #what the fuck do i tag this as??? #peter parker #spider man fanart #spider man #ffvii #final fantasy vii #agni and his many many au's number 39874 #artoftheagni

[baalzebufo]

dyscrasia and eucrasia are based up and fully built! my two warband leaders. shout out to cork btw, she can truly do it all.

since I dont have access to the tools and materials for pinning, I kind of made up for it by jamming eucrasias bell into the ground to provide a better point of contact. it feels pretty sturdy now, so thats good! plus the addition of some crumbled cork and it feels like the weight of it has broken the ground apart, which hides where I slathered it in glue And gives it an in-universe reason to be slightly buried like that :p

next step is gonna be making the blightkings- im not gonna worry about paints until theyre all assembled together

#gutsys mini tag #nurgles good humors #warhammer fantasy #warhammercommunity #nurgle #of course when its all painted the bases will be More Elaborate with some texture paint and dead-looking tufts probably #im tempted to base this warband in Shyish- one of the rotbringer groups determined to fix the cycle and beat up as many undead as they can #so the ground will probably be dead and grey with hints of purple- give them a nice dull colour to be set against yknow #much to think about :) #also fun fact in order to represent papa nurgles favourite number I specifically added Seven nurglings to eucrasias model hehe

[aswasforetold]

Amazing Devil - the Full Series

#TAD #The Amazing Devil #Joey Batey #Madeleine Hyland #my paintings #sorry to spam the tag and put out so many posts of these #but in honor of the new 30 image limit which is coincidentally the exact number of paintings in this series #here is a post of them all in one place #the insert and drag functions are still limited lacking and frustrating to use so the order and layout is wonky

[leverage-ot3]

leverage + screenshots of despair

#i did this in like a half hour on my phone using photoshop mix so sorry it’s not the best quality #i just haven’t posted anything in a while ESPECIALLY original content since I’ve been so busy #so enjoy these shitty memes #screenshots of despair #why did I put so much thought into the order of the photos lmao #parker #sophie devereaux #alec hardison #eliot spencer #the stork job #the top hat job #the big bang job #the grave danger job #the nigerian job #I’m not tagging the episode numbers lmao #humor #memes #stills #mine #leverage

[something-about-sunflowers]

Ooooooohhhhhhh now I’m thinking of an Izzy with an Ella Enchanted style curse on him hhhhhhhhhh

Read-more cause this got away from me lmfao

He keeps it fairly under wraps for most of his life, sets out to sea at twelve, gets picked up by a press gang at seventeen. He manages, its  expected, for a sailor to follow orders on a navy ship, after all (of course ‘no’ isn't an option available to him anyway).

They get boarded by pirates when he's about twenty one and he’s taken on as part of their crew, the captain is after crew more than loot, tells him he should join (saying ‘no’ would have just had him killed, and he's doing his very best to live).

Some time after, he's nearing twenty five, they’re raided by another ship, the Ranger. Benjamin Hornigold likes a ruthless sailor (a ruthless pirate) and Israel Hands has never allowed himself to be anything but. He decides he wants to keep this one. He offers, Izzy accepts. Ben tells him to kill his former captain (wouldn’t have said ‘no’ even if he could have, the man was a bastard).

He earns a reputation of being kind of a kiss-ass, he doesn’t really mind, it keeps most people from asking questions. But Ben’s got his pet projects Edward Teach and John ‘Jack’ Rackham and they’re both too sharp for their own good (though, Jack is better at playing dumb). They notice its not just Captain’s orders he follows to the letter, but everyone’s. They test him, subtly at first, but eventually they show their hand. Tell him that they know there’s more to Izzy’s obedience than he lets on.

He’s terrified for how they might use this against him (the usual ways, which most men abused without even knowing about his curse, easier, safer to let them think he wanted it) but they tell him they don’t want to take his agency from him like that. They offer to help him. He’s not sure whether to trust it (he knows, by rights, he shouldn’t) but he can’t say ‘no’ to ‘trust us, let us help’ (whether Edward is aware of the command, Izzy will never know, decades later Edward doesn’t even remember what he said to convince him).

So they stick by him, as best they can, if someone gives an order he doesn’t want to follow they’ll tell him, quietly as they can, not to. It works, for the most part. Though eventually, Ben notices Izzy’s not quite as obedient anymore (though he still never says ‘no’ to his captain’s orders). He doesn’t like that. He notices Izzy’s been spending more time around Teach and Rackham, decides they’re bad influences (he intends them to captain other ships in his fleet, they’re allowed to push back on orders, Izzy will never have a command of his own, he is not). He separates them. Puts Teach and Rackham on the Marianne with the flimsy excuse of ‘getting practice in’. (he sees them off with Izzy at his side, a claiming hand on his shoulder, Ed and Jack aren't sure how they manage it, but they don't try to kill him right then and there) They now only ever see each other when they all make port. Its a trying few months (for Ed and Jack, for Izzy. . .).

They meet at port one last time (apart, at least). Edward has a plan. They’re going to mutiny. They’ve been stirring the pot on the Marianne (whispers had already started before they got there, not too many of the crew were happy to miss out on loot just because Ol’ Ben had an apparent soft spot for the Crown). He presses his knife into Izzy's hands. Tells him, back on the ship, when everyone else is asleep, he’s to slip into the captain’s cabin and kill Ben, in his sleep, so he can’t order him to stop (Izzy is never sure if he would have said ‘no’ to that unintentional order, had he been able).

The mutiny goes off without a hitch (Ben wakes when the knife plunges into his throat, but he can’t give orders around the steel and the blood that choke him). Edward makes Izzy his first mate, gives Jack the Marianne. He and Izzy go on to create a legend.

Things are good, for a long while they're good. Edward is an inventive and charismatic captain, the crew love him and the loot he leads them to, and Izzy's position (and Edward's possessive protectiveness over him) means that anyone who dares order Israel Hands around, that doesn't have the title of 'his captain', meets a quick end.

Unfortunately, for Izzy, 'good' never tends to last. He'd hoped (and damn him for daring to hope) that he was free, as free as he could be, from his curse, sailing under Edward (Blackbeard), and he was. For a while. Its about a decade later when Edward starts to get bored. He never orders Izzy to do anything degrading or dangerous (more dangerous than he can handle at least) but it still hurts somewhere deep in his chest the first time Edward gives a casual order and doesn't look to see if Izzy wants to follow it.

They come across Jack every now and again. It always takes him a bit to readjust to Izzy, to remember he needs to phrase things as suggestions rather than orders, he always manages eventually. (that little pain in his chest digs a little deeper when he notices Edward avoids giving him orders when Jack is around, though he can't say why) Their crossing paths wind up fewer and farther between as the years go on. One notable visit involved Jack asking Edward to marry him and Anne Bonny ('why not just have your first mate do it?' 'Annie is my first mate, man, 'sides, I want my two best buds to be there for it!'). Izzy isn't sure what to make of Edward's renewed willingness to run into Jack afterwards (only knows that the pain in his chest grows all the sharper for it, and at seeing Jack, happy with Anne, he feels a bit monstrous about that). It doesn't matter much in the end, things go back to normal once Mary/Mark (depending on the day) Read enters the picture and (mostly) steals Annie away from Jack.

And suddenly Izzy finds himself at fifty five, on a beach, wondering ‘what kind of fucking idiot runs his ship aground‘. Edward is intrigued, Izzy can't tell him 'no'.

He hates the Revenge with every fiber of his being. None of the crew listen to him, Edward doesn't back him up (and neither do Fang or Ivan, following their captain's lead). The first time one of the crew gets it into their head to give him a mocking order he nearly passes out with the force it takes him to not jump to the task immediately. He retreats to his cabin later and vomits at the feeling of violation he hasn't felt in decades (he tells himself he hasn't felt it, Edward is his captain, above all else is loyalty to his captain, his own feelings don't matter).

He hates stupid fucking Stede Bonnet most of all. Hates him for putting a light back in Edward's eyes that hasn't been there for a long while. Hates his pompous attitude, his flippant disregard for the institution of piracy, how little he seems to actually care for the safety and well-being of his own men (leave alone the danger he poses to Edward). Most of all he hates that he calls him 'Iggy'.

So when he challenges him to a duel, and he accepts, its only for Edward's sake that he sets the terms at 'banishment' and not 'death'. When he loses he finds he rather wished it had been to the death. (he doesn't understand, Edward wanted this, he hadn't even told him to stop, hadn't ordered him to stop)

He retreats to Spanish Jackie'z to lick his wounds and to work out a plan to pull Edward out of the steady march towards his own demise that he faces aboard the Revenge. Jackie, Izzy is fairly certain, knows about his curse to some extent (he suspects she doesn't abuse the knowledge for the sake of having a bargaining chip, should she need it), she talks him out of any corners the navy bloke with a grudge against Stede Bonnet inadvertently walks him into. She also runs him into Jack Rackham (and Izzy realizes, at the sight of the silver starting to peek its way through his dirty blond, that its been nearly ten years since they've last seen each other, that pain in his chest not any duller for it) and the last piece of the plan falls into place. Jack tries to talk him out of it, says its not a good idea, even offers him a position on his own ship (not that its his ship to offer anymore, since Annie took over captaincy and made Mary/Mark her first mate, but they've both always had a soft spot for Izzy on account of Jack's soft spot for Izzy, they'd be more than willing), not once does he order though and Izzy can't let Edward keep doing this to himself. Jack will understand when he sees him, Izzy says. Jack goes.

(Izzy hears, when the navy gunners crow triumphantly about hitting the dinghy, the one that Jack and Edward were in, the one that Edward jumped out of, he tells himself not to let it show when that pain in his chest comes back twenty-fold at the thought)

Edward claims the Act of Grace. He and Stede Bonnet leave to lick the king’s boots. Izzy doesn't make it a single day as captain. Edward comes back just before he goes overboard with the anchor to follow. He comes back wrong. Izzy can't take it. Edward can't take it.

The Kraken wakes and Izzy is introduced to the concept of a living hell. (even the captive crew stop trying to give him orders, at the haunted look in his eye, when they see how the Kraken orders him around, when he discovers Spriggs alive, if a lot worse for the wear, he doesn't even need the order to keep it under wraps, he doesn't want to know what the Kraken would order him to do if the boy is found out, he shudders at the thought)

When stupid fucking Stede Bonnet (and his marooned crew) finds his way back to the Revenge Izzy allows himself a single moment to feel relieved. Until, at least, the Kraken orders him to kill the man. He can't. He fights. The crew are all shouting at him not to, it eases the strain. The Kraken levels his pistol at his head, the crew goes silent.

'Israel, I order you to kill Stede Bonnet'.

His sword is in his hand. Stede's gotten better with his own sword, is managing to hold his own against Izzy (in truth, its mostly due to Izzy straining to not follow the order, but there is a marked improvement). The Kraken growls 'Kill him Izzy, fucking- kill him!' Izzy loses his sword to the mast again (he's grateful this time), his knife is in his hand a second later. He's got less reach than Stede does but Stede is trying not to hurt him. Why is he trying not to hurt him?

'Bonnet. Bonnet, you have to stop me. I can't. I can't kill you. I can't let him do that to himself. You have to. Run me through. Right here-' he taps his chest with his free hand, the one that isn't swinging the knife around, the left side, right over his heart '-only way to stop this. He might even listen to you afterwards.'

'Izzy. Izzy no.' In his shock, Stede lowers his sword. Izzy swears as he knocks it out of his hand. Presses close, crowds him against the doors to the captain's cabin, knife against his throat.

'Just fucking kill him already!'

A bead of blood wells under the tip of the blade. Izzy meets his own eyes in the polished reflection of his knife.

'Izzy stop fucking around and do what I told you to!'

His hands shake with the weight of the order. There are tears in his eyes, he can see them in his reflection.

A memory comes, unbidden: He, Edward, and Jack hiking through dense jungle to find a witch that Jack thinks might be able to break his curse, or at least tell them how to break it themselves. Her words 'I cannot break this curse Israel, this is something you must do for yourself. I can tell you this, however, to do this you'll need to face yourself. Face yourself and free yourself. That is all I can say, I'm sorry, I'd tell you more if I could.' They'd left disappointed, Jack cursing about scams and 'you can't even trust witches these days, man', Edward contemplatively silent.

Face yourself and free yourself. Izzy's eyes flick upwards to Stede's concerned face, back down to the blade. He meets his own eyes again.

'Izzy-' The rest of the Kraken's words go unheard.

Izzy tells himself, voice scarcely more than a breath: 'You will not be obedient.'

He feels, more than sees, Stede's gasp. He ignores it. His hand still wants to press the knife upwards. He tries again.

'You will not be obedient.' A little louder this time.

'The fuck did you just say-' Again.

'You will not be obedient!'

The knife flies across the deck, lands with a clatter. Silence (but for the sound of Izzy's labored breaths).

He turns, ignores the shocked crew, meets Edward's wide eyes with his own watery ones (when had the tears started falling so freely?).

'. . . Iz. . . ?'

Everything goes black.

#the dork is being a dork #izzy hands #jack rackham #mmmm i feel safe enough tagging #edward teach #stede bonnet #am i ever going to be able to imagine a cj that isn't in love with izzy? all signs point to 'no' lmfao #izzy is also in love with jack if that wasn't obvious #problem is a bit two-fold in that he's also still in love with ed AND there was an unintentional order in 'above all else is loyalty to your #captain' so even if he was emotionally aware enough to realize they were mutually in love he wouldn't have done anything about it #cj is the world's number one izzy respecter he worked SO hard to make sure izzy never had to do anything he didn't want to do #also he 100% survived the navy guys saw him survive but they didn't like izzy cause he's a pirate so they wanted to fuck with him #he finds his way back to the revenge sometime later (maybe with anne and mary/mark with him) and BEGS izzy to come with him #they compromise and start a fleet (jack stays on the revenge more often than not cause izzy stays on the revenge more often than not) #this COULD turn into stackedhands but its mostly cjizzy #and izzy/people who actually care about him and his well-being #which does start to include the crew post kraken #anyway izzy wakes up later in the captain's cabin and there are several uncomfortable talks to be had #(also i don't necessarily think ed realized he wasn't ordering izzy when jack was around) #(it was kind of like falling into old habits) #(while also knowing subconsciously that jack WOULD rock his shit for doing that to izzy) #(same with avoiding him thru the years) #(he knew he was fucking up with izzy but wasn't ready to face it and let himself be held accountable the way jack would make him do)

[mac-and-thefox]

Somebody shake me and tell me it's okay to push Gym day to tomorrow because Soup Brain is taking over my day...

#feeling guilty cuz I was supposed to go last night #but Squish cat is playing jump rope with life again and hunger striking #and body is perioding #and spouse is out of town til tomorrow #if everyone could just take a number I will address your crisis in the order it was received 🫠🥴 #sorry for venting in the tags #cw vent #cw sick pet #cw pms #cw menstruation

[i-hold-horrors-hand]

7 COMFORT FILMS

Tagged by @evilvvithin

Twister (1996)

Beetlejuice

The Secret of NIMH

Jumanji

The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars

All Dogs Go to Heaven

Cats Don't Dance

Tags: @ryuzatodraws-backup @namelessdrool @rightintheghoulies @discountdemonwarehouse @anamelessfool @cirrus-ghoulette @gasolineghuleh

#movies listed in no particular order #except for Twister. that's number 1 lol #btw no pressure if you're tagged and don't want to do this #it's a game. play only if you want

[daydreamingmiller]

tag game: characters that I think are very me-coded.... but I can't possibly explain how

thank you @joelsversion for the tag 🫡🫶

most of my mutuals have been tagged, so no tags here! but if you see this and want to participate go right ahead <33 (and tag me please I love seeing stuff like this)

#a deeply unserious group of people #texted a few friends bc I must be aware of how I’m perceived and nick miller was the number one contender #broke no direction unreliable scared of intimacy & hot women #we are one and the same #tag games #in order for those interested: #april ludgate #jake peralata #camille preaker #connell waldron #diane nyugen #kendall roy #fleabag #nick miller #& the lovely nadine franklin #abt g

[ratlesshonret]

i did this before when i had many less people following me but. how about a fun little ask game.

i have 703 songs on my playlist. send me a number and i'll give you the song that it corresponds to.

#if anyone is reading the tags here's some fun advice for number choosing #my song list is in alphebetical order

[drawnecromancy]

OC In 15 or Fewer Tag

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Tagged by @jezifster, thank you :D

Tagging : @isabellebissonrouthier, @the-stray-storyteller, @holdmyteaplease with no pressure ! Also, OPEN TAG !

VALIANDRA

(also known as : King Faylan, Cenaldir, Velannen, the Emperor, Val.)

"I’ve never managed to walk in a straight line while drunk."

"You ask ?"

"Silly ideas don’t turn linguists into gods, your majesty."

"Hey, I have no idea what I’m doing with this. Of course I want your input."

"Well, I thought we both went into this knowing that it was an excuse for you to find a way to kill me."

"Would you mind helping me get my clothes off ? I would like not to wrestle these from broken marble blocks in five minutes. Not that it would be hard, just mildly inconvenient."

"I do believe we are both the proud owners of bedrooms in this palace, your Majesty."

"There is still the problem of your family."

"Have you listened to a single word I just said ?"

"I am not certain. A couple of days ? Possibly more."

"You know what could be funny ?"

"You know, I don’t usually do this in front of anyone."

"Since when am I someone you think of when you get lonely ?"

"Are you only here to gawk at the mess ?"

"May I ?"

#tag games #my writing #the emperor #he's my babygirl. i love him so much. he's such an asshole #additional game : guess which ones are from which identities #some of them aren't present #they also are not in chronological order #my favorite quote of his ever is number 7 btw. #the proud owner of bedrooms.