#tags bc I want people to enjoy this mental image with me

[peterspinkrobe]

Confession - priest!Miguel O’Hara x Reader [part 2]

Word count: 2,270 (oops)

Rating: mature for suggestive content. Mentions of masturbation. You have a dirty mind… tsk tsk. Religious content. Mentions of parental death (sorry for not tagging last time).

A/N: Thank you for your feral support in reading part 1! The art above is again by @Ejpuki on twt. They drew this moment from part one and JUST LOOK AT IT! They also did a pre-reading which I greatly appreciated. Go support them over there <3 I only tagged the people who explicitly stated bc I don’t want to overstep. Also, I guess I should watch Fleabag? Enjoy! part three is cookin’ in my noggin’

// Psalms 32:3-4

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me;

Rumbling sounds drone from the engine in a constant hum as the bus wheels roll down the asphalt, occasionally shuffling the passengers inside. Yourself included.

The wheels in your mind are conjuring images of too much skin, friction, and want. The mental pictures… different positions and other things that you’ve only read about - all featuring the same tall deacon from your small church.

You curse yourself for both your overactive imagination and forgetfulness for having left your headphones at home. Some loud music would drown out the whir of the bus and push out the flashes of lewdness that plagued you.

Reverend O’Hara, you learned that’s what transitional deacons are usually called after inquiring about the proper title on Google the second you got home from that communion, occupied the majority of your mind. He took up residence in your thoughts without even asking permission and you didn’t know the proper way to absolve your sanity of him. It had only been two weeks since you’d met him, two Sunday services, but you were hooked. This trip into the city was supposed to get you out of the house and help clear your mind of its recent inhabitant.

The methods you were currently using were certainly of no help. Nearly every night, for the past two weeks, you’d given into temptation. Allowing the streaking images of what you could only envision his toned body looked like to remain longer in your mind’s eye. His thumb on your lip, the quick swipe across - became more inquisitive of the inside of your mouth in your imagination. You pressed into yourself and thought of those long, thick fingers. You carried yourself away on highs with only his hands in mind. You yearned to baptize him in your waters.

You buried fingernails into your palms to ground yourself as the scenery outside the bus began the change drastically, pulling you out of your daydream.

Your hometown along the Catskill Mountains was enveloped by the natural world - tucked into valleys of the vast countryside. In the three weeks you’d been back home, you had already gotten used to surrounding greenery. You’d forgotten the toll that city expansion was having on the rows of vegetable and orchard farms in the surrounding areas.

Your gaze out the window watched tree lines and grassy hills give way to glimmers of futuristic architecture as the bus entered Nueva York. The rhythm of wheels on tarmac became a backdrop to the din of honking horns, shouting pedestrians, and blaring sirens. You had only recently left a city not too different from this one, but the drastic change in landscape from the mountains made your head spin. The inertia of the bus braking and accelerating over and over on the intersecting streets only added to the motion sickness. You recognize the next stop as the usual one you and your mother used when coming into the city. You quickly get off the bus, blessing the steady ground underneath as your boots hit the pavement.

Towering structures of carbon fiber and glass dominated the skyline, some illuminated by bright neon light displays, others blending into the afternoon sunshine. Advertisements for fast foods, fast money, and fast cars flickered on screens everywhere. You look to where the bus carried you from and, in contrast, the countryside stretched out, calling you back. Despite the slight familiarity in the maze of metal, the sudden change in surroundings made you slightly anxious.

The steady stream of citizens didn’t help your nerves either. You take a moment to get yourself together before following the foot traffic flow up a familiar street.

Your eyes recognize a food spot from a bygone era and you can’t help but smile. You picked up the pace as you headed to the establishment your family used to frequent. Timeless Treats is still here?! You pull on the long handled door and a wave of music, chatter, and sugar hit you at once. Much more pleasant than the waves of anxiety from moments before.

Entering the quaint eatery, you’re transported into a cozy atmosphere reminiscent of an old fashioned diner. A cheerful man at the front waves you in and shouts for you to ‘sit where ya want!’.

You recognized the vintage decor: rusted signs with cartoon mascots and ads for ice cream floats that cost only $2. Imagine! You select one of the smaller retro tables with two stools and hear a jukebox play a song you don’t recognize but tap your foot along to.

There was more to this diner than what it seems at first glance. A few more glances noticed the subtle touches where the diner had embraced the future where it mattered, with high-tech kitchen appliances that helped the staff immensely. A holographic menu pops up across the portion of the table you're sitting at and you slide your finger along the options.

This bakery specialized in delicious treats with a futuristic flare, with many favorites being popular since the establishment opened generations ago. Your eyes fell onto the pastry menu and your curiosity piqued as you ordered the ‘Time Traveler’s Torta.’

All the hustle of the city had occupied your mind until you were sitting alone at the table. Your eyes scanned the other occupants and you wondered what they were all talking about with their sugary sweets. It made you think of him again.

Dammit. A whole ten minutes without thinking of Reverend O’Hara, that’s a record! You couldn’t help the images of Miguel that fluttered now. Only this time you pictured him sitting at the table with you. The two of you share a dessert and you smile at the thought. You visualize his thumb coming to your face to wipe whipped cream from your lips only to plop the finger into his own mouth. That moment as mass replayed in your mind with differing flavors of spice on repeat.

The torta arrives and you gawk at the presentation of the treat. A classic cake with layers of light vanilla sponge, intricately placed swirls of sweet cream cheese frosting, and decadent chocolate sauce. This sweet was the perfect balance of timeless and futuristic as it sat on an oblong, ornate plate.

You savored the flavors as you ate and continued to imagine a date with the deacon. You ask yourself if deacons can even date and the thought pulls you out of your delusions for a moment. Get it together…

As you scooped the last bits of the pastry into your mouth, you pondered your dilemma. Mom always said that confession cleared a clouded consciousness, but there was no way you’d divulge this information to her. Her hypothetical reaction to your crush on a clergy member makes you shiver.

An idea comes to mind that makes you think to yourself that you’ve really gone mad.

The madness pushes you from your seat after paying for the dessert. There’s a slim chance what you’re looking for is actually there considering the cities expansions. That doubt doesn’t stop you from following a semi-recognizable path down the busy streets.

Every tall figure you pass makes you do a double take. The idea of the deacon brushing alongside you making you smile. You turn a corner as your imagination creates sweet scenarios with Reverend O’Hara and stop in your tracks. You cause people behind you to push into your back and spit harsh murmurs at you.

It was still there.

You were surprised for good reason. You were headed towards a relic of past times, nestled between buildings of glass and metal. There was some scaffolding supporting it as the building you headed towards was centuries old. Other than that - the structure you now stood and stared at jutted towards the sky in the old brick and mortar style you were used to seeing in your hometown.

But the Cathedral of Nueva York wasn’t like the humble church in your hometown. The ornate bell tower and large cross atop the chapel in front of you proved that. The only thing to change about the building was the name as the state itself saw many changes a few decades ago - including the name of the actual city.

You find yourself reminiscing on the few times you’d been to the church as you walked inside. Your family used to attend the fancy Easter services and Christmas plays. Those trips stopped after your father passed, and your mother rarely came to the city at all anymore. You remember seeing pictures of them on their wedding day at this very church. Priesthood is a tight knit group and Father Steen knew the head priest, who extended their church for their wedding services.

Given it was a weekday afternoon, there weren’t many souls inside. Despite the numerous options for seating, you sat in your usual middle pew, aisle seat.

You eyed the part of the church that had brought you here in the first place. The confession booth. Its cherrywood exterior made you think of those eyes that bore into yours that day of communion. You shake your head but the visual remains.

The church in your hometown didn’t have a confessional booth. Even if they did - why the hell would you confess there? To the subject of your lustful desires? So many questions and doubts enter your mind.

Could you really do this? Confess to a priest that you pined over a man in his chaste brotherhood? Think of the judgment!

Another thought occurs to you: their whole shtick was that only one entity could do the judging. And it was confidential. If you received some good ol’ fashioned Catholic scolding and Hail Mary’s, maybe that would be enough to get you back to your senses. Reverend O’Hara is a man devoted to God and cannot be hindered by the whims of a degenerate like yourself.

Emboldened by the potential to relieve yourself of your corrupt thoughts, you stand and approach the far right front of the church. The confessional is smaller than it looked from how you remember as a child and teen but it doesn’t stop you from nearly yanking the door open. You don’t even knock.

Thankfully no one is on the confessing side as you burst into the tiny box. The confined space became even smaller as you closed the door behind you quickly. Your mind races towards impure thoughts of the deacon pressed against you in the tight booth space. His height would force him to bend slightly over you and the visual almost knocks you onto the bench which would probably be right at crotch level…

You remember the times you’d done this before and cry out the usual, “Forgive me, for I have sinned and it has been many years since my last confession…”. Who were you even asking for forgiveness? You think for a moment about the last time you were in this booth. You felt so guilty about stealing from the general store all those years back. This was a different kind of confession. This would hopefully absolve yourself of the sinful attraction to the forbidden.

You start light, fumbling over the words, “I’ve gotten drunk and high, uh, a good bit while in college. I lied to my mother and got into major trouble as a result. I’ve been selfish and lazy.”

The anonymity and the release of it all lit a fire under you and you kept going.

“While I’m in this confession booth, and I know it is a sacred and holy place”, you sigh and hear shuffling on the opposite side of the wall, the priest waiting patiently on the other side. “I’ve been struggling with my faith and don’t believe in god…”

You hear the clergyman start to interject but the voice that comes out of you has a fierce tone.

“I’m not done.” Now it was the priest’s turn to sigh and you see movement through the small slits in the partition, but hear nothing else. You continue. The most scandalous part to admit had yet to be said.

“Father, I’ve been lustful over the deacon at my church.” There’s silence on the other end and before embarrassment can take over you continue, “I’m constantly thinking of him and having impure thoughts that drive me to-“ oh god, here it is

“Touch myself. Daily. With this deacon on my mind.” You can’t stop the heat from painting your cheeks a deep red.

“I feel guilty because he isn’t for me to think that way about. From just the two times I’ve seen him, I know he is a good man who does good things. He’s on a path towards righteousness. He’s worthy.” To your shock, you feel tears form and they begin to fall.

“I’m a sinful nonbeliever. Definitely not someone he could be with, unworthy of devotion of any kind. And I’m not good.” Your breathing becomes shaky as the tears fall harder. Despite the fact that you feel your words are the truth, you can’t help but imagine him there now. Comforting you as you cry.

Now that you’ve finished confession, you expect to hear an outburst of disapproval or at least ‘50 Hail Mary’s’ to absolve you of your confessed transgressions.

But that’s not what you heard next.

You hear your name. You hear your name in that sweet music that’s been ringing in your ears the last week or so. This time the musical tone is cautious. Your mouth hangs open in disbelief as your eyes glue to the wall where the music came from.

To confirm your suspicions, you grab the knob on the partition and yank it back.

Through the small window you see a familiar pair of eyes analyzing your face, heavy with worry.

Reverend O’Hara had just taken your confession…

I pray you liked this, dear reader.

Tagged ppl - @friendlynbhdzero @ceoofghosts it won’t let me tag you @hoelychildofgod

#miguel o'hara #fanfic #miguel x reader #priest!miguel #priest au #au fic #across the spiderverse #miguel x you

[astermath]

nemesis; part two.

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.

♡ landing page ♡

word count: 4.9K

tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!

notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))

lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.

With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.

So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?

Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.

It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.

Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.

To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.

“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”

“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.

“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”

Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?

Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.

“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.

“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.

“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.

“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.

“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.

If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?

“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.

“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”

His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?

“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.

He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.

“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.

“Goodnight, chef.”

“Night.”

He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.

It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.

He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.

He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.

He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.

Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.

Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.

Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.

Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?

[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.

[carmen]: well

[carmen]: I want to apologise

[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this

[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person

[carmen]: if you’d let me

[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk

[carmen]: please

The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.

But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.

That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.

You wondered what that meant.

Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.

Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.

It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.

He had no choice but to look now.

Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?

You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.

“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.

“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.

It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.

“Do you want a coffee?”

“Sorry I was late.”

You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can���t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.

“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”

“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”

“Hm?”

“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.

You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.

You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.

Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.

Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.

“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.

“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.

“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.

“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.

“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”

“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”

“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”

“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.

“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.

“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.

"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.

"You don't do this often, do you?"

"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"

"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.

"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“

“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.

“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”

“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”

“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?

“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”

“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.

"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."

His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.

"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.

"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"

"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.

"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.

"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.

"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."

Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.

You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.

“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.

“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”

Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”

“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”

“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.

“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”

“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.

“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.

“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”

You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.

“I’m sorry?”

He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.

“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.

“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”

You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.

“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.

“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.

“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”

“…Is that you saying yes?”

“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.

“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.

“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.

Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.

“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”

You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.

He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.

“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.

“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.

“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”

“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“That you’re selling them the business.”

“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?

“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”

“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.

“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”

You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”

He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.

He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.

Never with him.

tag list <3

@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar  @spr3id  @deadandstill  @777iii  @magicboytrash  @dogdevourer @wiipes @sierrahhh  @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa  @astridyoo15   @rexorangecouny  @azxulaa @jointherebellion215 @diorrfairy @chanluuvr @idontexist-anymore @wolfiealina

#carmenmath #aster writes the bear #carmen berzatto writing #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto the bear #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto x y/n #jeremy allen white imagine #jeremy allen white fic #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto the bear fx

[traumatizeddfox]

hi i’m fox! this is my blog where i post stuff that is triggering and related to the abuse i suffered. don’t interact with my blog if abuse is a trigger. I try to tag things but sometimes i forget so this is pretty much ur warning! if you feel like i should be using a tw/cw let me know!

Things i typically post: trauma related art, vent art, weirdcore,surreal core, dereality themes, self harm (i don’t share images just themes of it! i will not post my own self harm) eating disorder (not thinspo or pro ana)

everything i post is mine but a lot of images i do get from pinterest except for my drawings. please DONT repost my stuff at all unless you get permission!

DNI List:

-anti traumacore blogs

-KINK/NSFW blogs (More specifically if u are dd/lg)

-pro MAPs

-anti recovery

-TERFS

-basic dni criteria

quick questions i get:

How old are you?: Im 27

Pronouns: She/her

Can I send you a dm?: yes but sometimes i dont reply bc i get a lot of notifs

Asks/Vents

-I get a lot of anons now, so i may not answer every single one. please don’t take offence if i don’t answer yours! it may be because i’m busy, or the topic is very heavy or i simply have not seen it!

-Most times I will spend about 30 minutes to an hour going through my inbox, but that depends on my schedule :) I try to put them in a q so it doesnt clog up peoples time lines

-Feel free to trauma dump in my blog! It can be about anything!!!

-if you don’t want me to post you ask please let me know, if you want an ask deleted let me know as well!

-Feel free to use any emojis or names to identity you (or don’t!)

-I’m not a mental health professional so i can only answer as best to my knowledge, i suggest you talk to your doctor or a therapist (if possible) for legit advice

You can reblog all of my posts unless i say not to :-) mistakes happen so don’t feel bad if you do ^_^

You also can tag whatever u like! idc if u want to tag my stuff abt ur fav character/celeb or whatever fits ur vibe <3

My main blog is: @phatghettorat (its just a shitposting blog where i just rb funnies or whatever is my current hyperfixation) i would consider this my main but tumblr wont let me change lol

You can also find me:

Instagram (@/traumatizedfox)

TikTok (@/traumatizedfox)

I also have a discord server meant for venting and posting traumacore art/edits/poetry check it out!

have a wonderful day <3

-Fox

#Traumatizeddfox #i had to re do this bc apparently tumblr deleted it

[ottiliere]

I just wanted to say that your art is really something else, I love seeing how fluid it is and the lines on everything is just so nice and appealing to look at,, I wanted to know if you liked johnny the homocidal maniac bc you drew dirk wearing a johnny c shirt and now I'm curious lol :0

1. jthm is one of my major inspirations, I read it when I was an impressionable child. I've talked about it here a few times here before! I think I tagged most of it as #jthm if you're curious.

+2. you guys are too kind hahaha. I use a lot of reference images and always try to make note of how bodies are moving in the real life as well as in animation, + I've always been captivated by "ugly" depictions of overwhelming negative emotions. this is in part because I very much enjoy vicariously feeling bad in a controlled setting... i guess its like watching a little tiny bomb go off behind glass. I like to try and capture this and evoke emotion with a lot (but not all) of the stuff I make. art doesn’t serve a massive purpose/provide a self-fulfilling gratification for me otherwise. thank you!

3. this is in part i think due to societal taboo around the subject (people staring at sh scars or blatantly asking what they’re from/acting super awkward about it if given a straight answer). people don’t know how to talk about this topic at all. its a big bad bogeyman and if you’ve never gone through mental health crises or been around people who have there’s a fundamental lack of tact or awareness of even how to handle that kind of thing. to me scars are just a part of life like they happen and they’re there and sure it can be the center of an art piece (vividly remember seeing art of aph england cutting himself on dA when I was 12 LOL it was so striking to me at the time) but i’m more interested in capturing day-to-day scenes or candid shots of life of whatever I’m portraying for the most part. and scars just happen to be on the dirks in my head and they’re kinda just... there. it’s life. no big deal. touched you view me as your favorite artist. have a dirk from my art folder.

#ask #lucy art #self harm #typing all of these out at the bus stop after missing my sad little bus

[l3o-lion]

This is (and will probably forever stay) a WIP, im working from mobile, apologies if stuff looks and works like shit.

Like spams and reblog spams are appreciated! You do not have to be afraid of me getting weirded out or anything just bc you like the shit you see on my blog, it only makes me happy i swear :]

Mutuals please tag any images or detailed descriptions of dead animals (especially birds) with either "#dead animal" or "#dead bird", and injured animals as "#injured animal" or "#injured bird", i need those tagged because they are triggers. If you have an existing tagging system for triggers please dm me and let me know what you will tag these as so i can make sure I have them filtered. Thank you <3

My pigeon flock post listing names and descriptions of the birds can be found here.

Tag guide and about below the cut !!

General:

#og leo post - my original posts

#my art - art that I've made

#art reblog - art that others have made

#leo vents - block if you don't want to see me venting

#rambles - i tag shit as this bc im insecure and think people find it annoying when i talk

Birds:

#birds - bird stuff

#corvids - they get their own tag

#pigeons - anything pigeon related

#my flock - my feral pigeon friends

#copper the pigeon - stuff about copper (RIP)

#graphite the pigeon - stuff about graphite

#bronze the pigeon - (you get it by now)

#pluto the pigeon

Fandom:

#ofmd

#funger

#de

#hannibal

#go

#gotham

#tlou

Other:

#leftist stuff - block if you don't want to spend mental energy on this while on tumblr, i don't judge (this does not mean that you can just block this and still follow me if you're a shithead)

#sillies - anything i find humorous in any way

#autism stuff

#queer stuff

#trans stuff

#disability stuff - both physical disability stuff and stuff due to, for example, neurodivergence or mental illness.

#procedural generation / #ai / #ai art

#sex positive

#fat positive / #fat acceptance

#nsfw - minors please for the love of god block or at least do not interact with stuff tagged as this

#animals

#gamin - not great at remembering to tag this but it's stuff about games and maybe if im playing a game

About:

Hi! I am Leo, im 19, queer, mentally ill, neurodivergent and disabled. My political stances are heavily leftist. I do not agree with puritanical beliefs, i am kink positive and sex positive.

My knowledge and opinions are far from perfect and im very aware of this, i try my best.

Art is super important to me! I enjoy all art forms but am personally most experienced with drawing and theatre. AI art is not being done in an ethical way, it might be possible to do ethically in an ideal world but as of right now it is an exploitative process. Video games are fucking awesome, im not much of a gamer but i do play occasionally and i watch gameplay and game commentary videos nearly every day.

(more to be added)

Just let me know if you want me to tag any triggers you might have! I try my best to tag eyestrain, flashing, nsfw, suicide, self-harm, transphobia, homophobia and other things i believe to be common triggers, but tell me if there's anything you need me to be extra careful about.

#pinned #og leo post

[spaghett-onaplate]

People you want to know better

Thanks for the tag @iworshipsappho !! :D

Favourite song: hmm it changes often, currently probably Dreams by Fleetwood Mac or American Idiot by Green Day, otherwise probably Here to Go by DEVO?

Favourite colour: yellow!! always has been, since I decided that at like age 4 akdhfkd. for a couple years i liked blue more but nah i need that sunny joy in my life yellow is my beloved <3

Currently watching: ough. ough. [taking damage points] good question! i'm up to s3 or 4 of orange is the new black but i haven't continued it for a few months. same with the walking dead. i've been watching umbrella academy but haven't finished season 4 yet, up to s4 of a breaking bad rewatch. started the bear today, started atla the day before. thinking of rewatching buffy again. it's. yeah it's a lot akjdhfkhd

Last movie: mmh good question i think it would have been a rewatch of glass onion with family?

Sweet, spicy, savoury: changes depending on my mood, tho i'm starting to enjoy spicy food since i went to a chilli festival a couple months back! bc of the great chilli sauce i had with some spring rolls and the tastiest chilli hot chocolate. little me had a negative spice tolerance so i avoided it at all costs for years, but now i enjoy it bc the burn is GOOODDDD i get it now. i mean i still have a low tolerance i'd say but yeah i'm quite liking chilli sauces and curries <3

Relationship status: contentedly single

Current obsession: same as you sappho my mind is not hyperfocused on anything rn, surprisingly. rather than the obsession of constantly shaking the blorbos in my head ("wow im going for a walk, just like blorbo did!" type mentality) i'm like. slowly rotating the blorbos in a mental microwave. namely tk, carlos, jesse pinkman and nacho varga

Last thing I googled: "cupped hands" (searching for a stock image)

no pressure tags: @foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland @daylightsimon @altruistic-meme @stygianirondiangelo @cozy-fish-crow :D

[jesskasb]

EXTREMELY LONG POST AHEAD YOUVE BEEN WARNED. DO YOU LOVE THE COLOR OF MY WORDS?

i've been so scared of posting my opinions about recent media because i want to maintain some kind of unproblematic agreeable image out here. i don't want to say i enjoyed something for fear that enjoying it means i am morally required to reblog or discuss every critique others have to make sure people know i am aware that it is not perfect. i suppose this comes from this increased ideology that people who like things need to do so critically at all times, and they need to demonstrate that or they're a bad person; which is stupid, obviously, but i have somehow internalized that because i wanted to make the small of audience of this blog to know im not stupid or "problematic" or whatever. which is another stupid thing to want because this blog is supposed to be for ME and not other people, and ive always tried to uphold that mentality by posting whatever i wanted and always saying my thoughts in the tags. but obviously, my feelings have had something else to say about it and ive been holding back opinions and expressing my enthusiasm for things because of how that enthusiasm may be perceived and misinterpreted, even though im aware that everything ever will be misinterpreted by somebody eventually and that is out of your control and its ok. this dissonance between what my logic tells me and how i actually feel has been bothering me a lot. even now im like oh i should put this under a read more so it doesnt bother people! while logically i know i want to post this as is because its some meaningful introspection for ME and thats what matters, truly. it's why i have this app in the first place. so i can express myself through text in eays i can't in real life for one reason or another.

either way it seems i've fallen into the social media trap of making everything content and palatable to as many people as possible, making things relatable and clever so others will enjoy it and i will be known as someone to be liked. all for the fleeting dopamine of a like and a reblog or a follow.

and then, because these feelings frustrate me and i have been in denial about them, i have also fallen into the trap of the "let people enjoy things" mentality. that scares me because it just goes to show how easy it is for someone to slowly get on the side of perpetuating a lack of media literacy or even shit like proshipping and stuff, when actually my feelings are not related to that at all but rather a dissonance between wanting to be palatable for everyone and wanting to talk about my interests when the reality is that there is not really anyone stopping me from saying whatever i want except for myself. im the only one who cares about this and the only one that is bothered. i've always looked down on a "what will they say" mentality and i hate that i've become so used to the way ive been thinking that i started ignoring the fact that i shared the mentality.

ok im just repeating myself now. point is. i want to work on getting back the mentality of posting for myself and being honest with my opinions not because i want to start discussions or get clout for being opinionated but rather because i truly enjoy analyzing things and expressing my thoughts. so. in an effort to do just so ive decided to unpack some of the media that have really reinforced the need to conform.

• let's start with the biggest elephant in the room: oppenheimer. i know! i know. no fucking wonder. "but hear me out!!!!" (headass need to justify everything i say and do so i wont be perceived incorrectly). i went to watch it with my stepdad at 11pm after the rest of our family went out to have boba tea without us bc we were resting, even though we LOVE boba and they couldve simply asked if we wanted to go. so the whole outing to the movies was spontaneous revenge and i loved that. it was a great bonding experience. in the parking lot we found two 20 dollar bills on the floor and the way we both dived to pick them up was hilarious. he was faster than me. we got some shitty churros and no popcorn and into the movie we went. now, the movie itself, i honestly did not like it and didnt have a good time, i was trying soo hard not to fall asleep. i was sleep deprived, tired, and honestly science and politics arent my thing at all. and that is obviously beside the fact that the whole plot was hard to follow because they tried so hard to make the audience sympathize with oppenheimer and frame it as if he really knew no better than to participate in the war and making the choice to kill thousands of japanese civilizatians. i was trying not to chew my arm off at the theater. ugh.

i will say i found the use of audiovisual distortion to represent dissociation and high stress brilliant. obviously its not the first media to do this but i think it made amazing use of the audio of a theater and the nature of film. i saw that post about how "if i cant see a movie in the comfort of my house and i have to go see it at the theater to get the full experience then its not very good" and i honestly think thats bogus. in fact im glad and i agree that something that can only be experienced in a theater full of people with good audio and a giant screen has value. chris nolan may be pretentious about it and fuck him but its like. the nature of a thater itself is not stupid and streaming it is different. theaters are about getting together with fellow humans and seeing something live and valuing the fleetingness of not being able to replicate that same exact experience again. whether its a musical or a play or a film youll never see the exact same thing with the exact same audience. and theres beauty in that.

• barbie was fun. it was different and refreshing from the usual stuff in mainstream theaters and i can really respect it for that. i cant believe mattel allowed that depiction of their own company to be in there but yeah theyre winning in the end. really good marketing. when the girl called out barbie for doing irreparable damage to the feminist movement i thought that was very based... im really biased because when i was younger, as a little hispanic poc girl who was chubby and kind of weird, i was just so bitter about everything that barbie was. because she wasnt me. she wasnt like me. she was like everything everyone said was pretty and that idea of pretty wasnt me. and i hated it. i wouldnt play with my blonde white barbies and i was obsessed with the one tan barbie with curly haired i had. she was a ballerina in a blue leotard and a tutu. i took off the tutu because i thought it was too feminine and i wasnt too feminine and i wanted her to be like me. but i still knew i could never be a ballerina because i was chubby and not athletic. it was the closest a barbie doll would ever get to being me though, and i was satisfied. i ended up relating more to my entire collection of g3 ponies than barbies.

going back to the movie; i think the message is important even if it wasnt handled perfectly. its a step in the right direction. we've been talking about this for YEARS and it has finally made its way to be told directly in an extremely mainstream movie. thats good! im glad! and i had fun laughing my ass off at the funny parts with my friends. i was ready to watch it alone after a hangout with my friends but some of them decided to join me and i love it. im very happy ive found people who want to go out with me and include me and like being around me and respect me. its been a while. i coughed a lot during the movie and my friend said "...do you need a cough drop, alex" at the end of the movie and i was so embarrassed and it was funny. my car keys fell in between the seats and it was scary but the employees were really nice about it. when magic ring ken appeared i yelled COCKRING KEN! and it sent my friends and a stranger next to me into hysterics. i had a great time and i wont forget it.

• good omens. neil gaiman has been a figure of great dissonance for me. i genuinely like his books and posts but im also aware that saying you like his work comes with all this other stuff that people assume is true, especially on tumblr, because he can also be really annoying. i dont support EVERYTHING he does of course but i love good omens and at the same time i was scared of what people would assume about me for sharing posts of season 2 and being excited about it. loved the first season of good omens and i was criminally deranged about it back in 2019. i liked the new season a lot! (SPOIILERS AHEAD SKIP TO AFTER THE Picture IF YOU WANT TO AVOID THEM) i missed the characters a lot and michael sheen and david tennant are just such stellar actors and you can really tell how much they like aziraphale and crowley. and gosh i just love when everyone involved in a production is as passionate about it as fans are. i will say michael and beelzebubs thing felt really fanservicey and i wasnt the target audience for their relationship. heres some more thoughts i want to share

besides that i mean fuck i would watch aziraphale and crowley talk about the weather for an hour. their banter is amazing. i also love the final episode drama. i just love mythology and exploring how all the fantastic bullshit fits into the real world. its why i like percy jackson so much, and i think gaiman really succeeds at urban fantasies (or magical realism?? not sure) extremely well. im not familiar with the work of terry pratchett but someone whose opinion i value likes his books so i wanna check em out one day. i had a good time with good omens and im excited for season 3. got a lot of theories but im lucky i have a friend to talk that to about so i wont keep you here much longer.

• the witcher. im SO passionate about the witcher show you guys have no idea i got my entire family to watch it and im able to connect all the dots and shit i love the world building i love the characters i LOVE LOVE JASKIER. but i hate the writing. i hate that i havent read the books and im progressing incredibly slowly through wild hunt so i feel like a poser and not a true fan. i hate that its so mainstream and i hate the way that i hate that. my feelings about this are not as dissonant and strong as the past three media i listed but i feel like it was the first straw. i just have this need to justify liking it and saying oh its not a good show but i like it haha sorry. IM NOT SORRY! I ENJOY IT A LOT, FLAWS AND ALL! AND I THINK ITS GOOD BECAUSE I AM STILL WATCHING! but i will stop watching after this season i refuse . liam hemsworth makes me puke while henry cavill is not only attractive but he genuinely cares about geralt and the witcher series and i dont want to watch something where the lead is just a replacement for someone who wanted better conditions and treatment and didnt receive it. fuck

• young royals. i just shat on it heavily back when it started trending on tumblr bc i thought it was some stupid teen drug show that had some shallow romance but honestly i think it was the internalized homophobia talking idk i gave it a shot and im LIVING for the drama and the cringe that comes with being a teenager and i love the setting and i love that everyone is so flawed and human and real.

• alice oseman's work. i actually dont know much about her as a person and author but i also shat on heartstopper when it became mainstream because the tv show annoyed me. i tried it, but the first episode left me feeling uncomfortable and icked so i quit and have been hating on it since without even giving the graphic novels a glance. i read the synopsis of her novel solitaire and a review compared it to catcher in the rye and i thought that was so fucking stupid. catcher in the rye, really? the creator of HEARTSTOPPER, making something that can even be of the same tone as catcher in the rye? bah, impossible. when i picked up i was born for this, i thought itd be a shitty and fluffy fan/celebrity book but i was just so desperate for trans rep. and then i pulled an all nighter to read it and i realized it was GOOD and had a lot of layers that impressed me. i had underestimated alice oseman's writing skills by SO much and i dont like thar i was so cynical. i started reading solitaire and man. it is dark. and evidently inspired by catcher in the rye. i am not done with it yet but from what i read so far.... holden, you have some competition.

solitaire is told from the pov of the sister of one of the heartstopper voice. through this book i learned that actually the heartstopper boy has a LOT of serious issues. i wonder if the graphic novels handle it better than the tv show. i hope they do! if they dont, then , well, i can say with confidence that i enjoy her books even if heartstopper isnt my thing.

ok i think thats all. if you read all that, post picture of an animal. i dont know. like and subscribe! i am growing as a person and i think thats beautiful. whatever. rolls my eyes and walks away

#i want to have a conversation about this so if anyone has any thoughts or anything about the topic of enjoying things in a modern #social media setting and '“letting people enjoy things'' let me know in a reblog or the notes. cause gosh. i need to get it out i need to #do more thinking it feels like my mind is growing MOLD! im better than this goddamnit #alexchanting #long post #really long post

[arisatominakos]

i want your gif making lore. 7, 9, 17, 15, 20, 26, 40, 45, and 49!

dfkjaj LORE REQUEST RECEIVED

7. Who are your top 3 gif makers

ohmans thats hard khfdsa. i actually am big fans of a lot of gifmakers out there that i dont follow but i see their stuff all the time in the tags & rb from them etc etc. but like i do follow a lot of folks who’s stuff i rlly enjoy and are folks that tend to inspire me. its a bit unfair to list just three so fkjsdha uhh @aartyom  @eurodynamic @onewingedangels @preciousgyro @entreri @marogarreh @thequantumranger @trident

9. What/who inspired you to start making gifs

i dont fully remember, i think a mix of just fandom stuff w/ friends & rp blogs. i do remember it was a hellacious journey until i could figure it out and since then i just have tried to keep improving or learning new things etc etc.

17. 10 sets, 8 sets, 6 sets? How many gifs to you prefer in a set

this is VERY dependent on the set im making at the time. i try to avoid like sets with a lot of images bc i get very tired with the task. but some stuff like i try to do between 2-5 so it looks nice in a post.

15. Have you ever had gifs stolen and reposted

constantly. usually its my avan gifs or star trek gifs. which is like the major reason i dont do them anymore or do a lot of non-video game slash anime sets. i tend to confront the person or ask them to take it down & it goes as well as you expect half the time: not the best. the worst time was a rp blog stealing all my avan gifs, not aware i was in the same rp circles so like tons of mutuals( most shared between the two of us ) notified me & they blocked me on said blog so i had to message them from my personal + other blogs i had at the time as well as said mutuals spoke with them as well before they took them down. it was a very frustrating day.

20. Mac or PC

i have experience with both mac & pc, however my default is my pc which is built for gaming. i’ve had mac laptops in the past via my older sister who would give me her school handmedowns. as far as specifically creating art gifs what have you, i have no preference between the two.

26. How many un posted sets are in your drafts right now

sO I KNOW A LOT OF PPL DO THAT WHERE THEY MAKE STUFF AND SAVE IT IN DRAFTS BUT IM DKSJHA i just i dont have the like mental fortitude to make something and not post it soon after. back when i was doing rp stuff & writing i used my drafts very heavily for wips & i sorta do that w/ gifsets in a way. as i make them i have a opened draft to upload each one to see how they look on tumblr, if they upload correctly, & to check coloring between my main monitor secondary monitor & phone as well so i make sure colors are good theres no washes etc. so usually if there is something in the drafts im currently working on it or its about to be posted so there are zero things in my drafts other than this ask kfsha

40. Why do you make gifs

good question. no clue. fkjhdsa but its fun & i enjoy it. its also just fun to share my interests in a way that can be shared by other people in reblogs etc. reading the tags of my sets & seeing ppls reactions or just opinions or whatever is just it rlly makes it. I Make Gifs For The People.

45. Ever gotten hate over a set

i’ve had ppl disrespect me bc of a gifset but ive never gotten hate persay. i do get a lot of bitchy people upset about my “do not repost or remove caption.” that i add to my posts which like i tend to ignore. realistically i cant stop ppl from doing such but it has helped so i keep doing it. usually i get a comment on said set they reblogged that day or in the tag but ive gotten 1 ask once about it & it was p funny. but proper hate with a valid reason ? nah.

49. How much would you say you’ve improved since you first started giffing

oH SO MUCH LOL. from coloring, to timing of the frames, to composition, to typography, to quality. the more i make the better i get. && there are things i want to redo to see how much i’ve improved. im not using the best tools to make these, but i’ve seen my improvement i’ve seen how much better i am & it’s rlly nice to be able to visually see your growth.

                                     /  GIFMAKER ASKS

#farllee.asks #fashionablyfyrdraaca #yEAH THANKS FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS

[jattendschaton]

*sends hugs/comfort * hope your week gets better!!

Oooh yes okay I absolutely understand that system XD

It takes time and effort to write a lot of tags! You wanna really put effort into appreciating and helping an artist feel seen and liked, and it feels like that effort is better concentrated on posts that don't already have a ton of notes bc they already have that 1k validation. Plus, don't want to burn out on excitedly raging about some gorgeous art, right?

I think it's very sweet (and smart) that you do that :3

*hands you a ladybug and chat noir themed treat * another thought, purrrhaps?

('That Anon' works XD, but I thought abt it a lil and Sphinx could also work? Since I'm always here to ask you questions sorta heheh)

<3<3<3 Thank you <3<3<3

Yeah, exactly! There are so many incredible creators in this fandom, I would love if as many of them as possible could feel appreciated and valued. It sucks to work hard on something and not feel like it garnered any attention, and I'd just like to make people feel seen in whatever capacity I can

My thought today is that there are a number of things I do that have "bad" origins but have since become things I genuinely enjoy and I sometimes wonder if that has lasting consequences on my mental health. Like, I started showering with the lights off several years ago because I just could not stand seeing my own body. And I think that's a problem, having such a poor perception of your own body that you refuse to even look at it, and I had to work on that a lot. But now that I've done work to have a better relationship with myself, I find I still prefer showering in the dark. And I wonder if that's me still holding onto some facet of this poor self image or if I have successfully divorced the ideas from each other. That's kind of a silly, small example, but to a broader context, how divorced can behaviors even be from the thoughts that established them? What metric could you even use to assess that? How much work do you have to do on yourself before you can know these behaviors are done out of a real love for the activity and not lingering poor thoughts?

#ask #anonymous #Sphinx #i like your name sphinx anon !! #i like your thought process <3 #i hope you've been having a good week!

[faeflowerz]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ORTHO SHROUD 🤖💙

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

I'm a little drunk while writing this so let's see if i can't stay on track 

Uhm i was gonna post Idia first but imma just…quietly wait for his birthday to come back around. But this isn't about him. It's about Ortho.

My light. My joy. My love. Okay let's do this.💙💙💙

Also, here is a disclaimer: while I do find Ortho to be a cute lil guy, he's also capable of being a romantic interest. It would go against his arc and characterization if he is treated differently despite being on par with the other students in mentality and maturity. Original Ortho would be the same age as the other first years and so, I treat RobOrtho the same. If that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to find another blogger.

Let's chat about Ortho!

It's been a big year for Ortho, huh? Chapter 6 really was a good arc for him. And I was struggling through those battles once I heard he was going to get a school uniform. Let me tell you, that wasn't a walk in the park.

What I love about his arc is that Ortho wants to explore and learn. While he 'knows' everything, he doesn't 'know' everything, you know? Like, being an official student may seem redundant because the material is easy for him to find and parrot back. But he's never gotten to know what it's like to tutor someone. To sit and chat with his friends, skip classes, or go shopping for himself. Hell, even writing an essay on his own is new for him. Ortho is gonna have to *create* his personality. 

He's becoming an artist. Ortho joined the film club. How cool is that? How will Ortho utilize his observations on humanity and mimic that for a movie? What can he learn from the stories he performs? And what if he was given the chance to make his own script? Film it? Direct it? There's a lot of potential for him and Vil sees it in him. Ugh its so fuckin good! Imagine if he gets into fashion and makeup?! It's exactly what he needs to feel "real". 

He also fits perfectly with the first years. I've already seen yall putting him in art and it's the only thing that keeps me alive. Ortho has to help hold the brain cell since at least three of them would drop it. It's good that he's with the babies because he's learning how to have friends and can grow with them. 

His FG is so good too. Like i'm kicking myself bc i don't have it. Like…he's enjoying the things we as humans wouldn't think twice about. He said that he was considered a magical tool before. An object. That fuckin cuts deep. Like.

Imagine being created in the image of a dead child and being vulnerable to having your being changed or altered at the whims of your creator/brother. You're designed after a real boy and behave like a real boy more or less. So u get to tag along with your brother and you see people having fun, making friends, growing up and being an individual. 

But you can't be one. You aren't considered a person. You're just your brother's thing. You're a thing to them. Like, Idia already avoids school life as if it's a major inconvenience but Ortho wants it. He wants indivality and agency over his life. And he has it. He's always been a real boy, but society didn't accept it. But there's no denying it, especially when he's creating art, which involves feelings. It involves developing ideas, thoughts and emotions and putting it into something that represents you. 

He designed his own FG gear. It's an aesthetic design. He's wearing shoes in his union gear. SHOES! HE'S STEEZY AS FUCK. 

Oh oh, it's cute that he chose Pomefiore as his second dorm. Not only would he look stunning in that uniform, his interest in Rook is hilarious. I'd imagine ortho already has a habit of following or taking obsessive notes about people. So if Rook is being stalked, that just…thats cash money. 

What I want answered is why he doesn't like lighting and if that will play a part in chapter 7. It could be related to fucking with his circuitry. But I think it's trauma based. It would be groovy if it was trauma based. That'd be so good.

As ive said in my disclaimer i feel that Ortho should be seen as the student he is. We've established his intelligence level, his maturity and his agency as a character in the story. He's not a baby. While he does have a cutesy voice that throws off the audience, he would be considered 16 like his friends. Treating him like a child is doing his character a disservice because Ortho is rapidly changing and maturing. I would say he has always been fair game but the fans infantilized him to the point where they gave him the stamp of child rather than teenager. I want to see English fans take him more seriously.

💙 i love his voice. So much. It's cutesy and when he says off the cuff shit, it's funny as fuck

Uhm my brainrot wants to gush about everything i love about him. So…

💙 those eyes! Those eyes. My favorite card is his first birthday card. Just…ahhh!

💙 his heart is where the students keep their pens. That's a nice touch 

💙 hes so??? Small??? Hehe so small!!

💙 i like when he gets cocky. Hes definitely picked up some of Idia's cockiness when it comes to his abilities as a robro. Like bro 

💙 "I'm being a good boy!" Shut the front door, that's such a darling thing to say

💙 he's probably the only social butterfly in Ignihyde. 

💙 hes so considerate of people's feelings. Hes so sweet!

💙 teeth

What i wanna see next? Uhh more costumes! Im gagging to see him in all kinds of crazy ass outfits now!! I also wanna see him dunk on his brother a little more. 

Okay, i simped enough for this guy. This cute, wonderful, small, sassy, clever, funny beautiful guy. Gyaaah!

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

#twisted wonderland #writing #faes character reflection #Ortho Shroud #twst posting

[seelestia]

ah yes more tears mmm delish *sloshes the tears inside my wine glass* /j sdlfkjsdlf i teared up a lot playing genshin cause i'm an emotional mess ;w;

hehehe worry not i will drop by every now and then to release all the plot bunnies upon you!!

yandere makes some ppl uncomfortable so i need to keep myself from talking about that topic a lot, but i still slip up every now and then ;w; pls don't hesitate to bonk me if i ever gush and make you uncomfortable!! i don't want to cross people's boundaries and making ppl sad is the last thing i want (except from the sadness and pain induced by reading angsty prompts or fics but i mean that's different right ehe)

ohhh i didn't know about albedo + rubedo being an actual thing related to alchemy! wait that is super interesting!! hmmm four stages you say... gasp wait does that mean there are potentially two more clones?????

YES TO THE SUSBEDO SUPREMACY the boy needs love too ;w; what if albedo actually likes the reader but the reader falls in love with rubedo instead and he's just there like 🧍‍♂️ you like him?? him, the imperfect, thrown away copy??? when the original is literally treating you with so much love and warmth??? you chose him??????

GASP HUBBY!!! *paws at the picture like a hyper cat* i-i mean what. i don't know what you're talking about *looks away and whistles innocently* /j

honestly i understand the attraction towards those two!! both are playful and intelligent and very pretty indeed *nod nod*

a type, hm? i don't know if i have a specific type??? i like a lot of characters in genshin!! but if i have to pick, say, a top three... then it's definitely zhongli (bc simp), xiao (he's my main and i love his lore + play style + voice), and kazuha (adorable, 12/10 would squish his cheeks) eheh

you are too kind aaaaaa pls i am unworthy sldkskdkls

i would absolutely love to be writing moots with you!!! but thing is, while my main blog is safe (cause i barely post there), my writing blog isn't 100% minors-friendly (i only write sfw but i consume & reblog nsfw stuff since i'm an adult)! my old posts are untagged and are a mess, but i do have a tag that minors could block if they ever decide to follow and interact. so uh yeah it's up to you!! if you aren't comfortable i can always stay on anon~ also sldksldk nahhh my writing is just okay-ish :p

👀 ohhhhh i will be waiting for when the inspiration strikes you then heheh

better the glass of water than the poor controller i guess lol hrrrgh you know what else is painful aside from weekly bosses? ruin hunters!!! i hate them so much... i nearly skipped the entirety of hidden stride event's first day fight 🙃 just took the easiest difficulty for the primos and ditched the other difficulties. cause they just. won't stop. shooting missiles. help.

- 💠

i remember crying over the perilous trail quest too AAAA i know you are a xiao kisser (us both 🤝), so i apologize if this brings back angsty flashbacks fwjfksje (unless you enjoy crying to that /lh) but the quest and xiao's reminiscence of his past comrades were so good i ugly sobbed ;(

you underestimate how much i love your brain like??? you're always brimming with ideas !! release the plot bunnies >:) that is such a cute mental image fkkwkkdkjf

personally, i don't mind yandere content despite not consuming any myself. i can see why it bothers some people since some works do contain gore/violence and chilling obsession. but these works are merely fictional and most yandere writers have explicitly said that they do not condone this behavior irl, so i think it's up to personal preferences, really !! thank you for being so considerate of others, anon :( i don't bonk people but if you ask and there is a need for it, i shall do so softly! even if you're an angst monster (/lh)

i didn't know either at first until i did some self-indulgent research on albedo and rhinedottir, which eventually led me to reading about alchemy itself !! ooo, two other albedo's??? i think rhinedottir's homunculi only extends to albedo and susbedo, but it can definitely be an au and their personalities can be inspired by the meanings of the other two stages 👀

a love triangle with albedo and susbedo??? HELLO??? chokes. if you do, susbedo is smiling so smugly at albedo rn. susbedo's character is so interesting to me... from what i recall, i remember thinking that he has a sense of arrogance and pent-up grudge / superiority complex against albedo since he was the 'perfect subject'. so, reader falling for him is simultaneously an ego boost yet the most confusing and startling thing ever.

HUBBY. 📸 i caught that slip-up all too well in my mind and this non-existent camera. it's okay, you can admit it. (/j) zhongli, xiao, and kazuha... hmm, i'm trying to look for some sort of pattern here but i think i'll conclude that you don't have much of a specific type and instead, you just fall for whoever you fall for??? the simplest formula >:)

i see, i see !! i myself have also filtered nsfw genshin tags and i don't think i need to dig through your old untagged posts for any reason, so i'm alright with it~ and wdym okay-ish??? your ideas are the best !! i am in need of some new fic to read too 👀 also, this may just be another excuse to support you, hehe~

ruin hunters and their annoying missiles. and the way you can barely attack them when they're in the air and there's no way to dodge their missiles. <//3 THE DEMOTIVATION ON THE VERY FIRST DAY TOO, HELP. so true, why put in more efforts than needed when you can say toodle-oo to the ruin hunters with primos in your inventory??? ;D

#convos with you are always so fun and engaging >:) #like you just scream about ruin hunters or zhongli and i'm instantly joining you LET'S GO (/pos) #ask box! 📬 #visitor: dearest 💠 anon!

[krakensdottir]

Watching Bruno’s scenes and this man is so expressive. When he’s talking to Mirabel, his hands are all over the place. And when he confronts Alma at the river? And when he’s apologizing to Pepa? This guy talks with his whole body, especially when he’s riled about something.

And like, as a fandom we’ve collectively agreed that he and Pepa were always tight, and probably raised hell together, and also argued regularly. I just want everyone to picture what those arguments must’ve been like. The drama, you guys. Bruno flailing and gesticulating and Pepa thundering and throwing her hands up in exasperation and both of them hurling accusatory pointing fingers at each other while lightning flashes and they’re both soaking wet and.

And there’s Julieta just. Sitting there. Arms folded, waiting for it to blow over because they’ll be laughing together in half an hour tops, but good grief. We’re in public, guys.

#encanto #bruno madrigal #pepa madrigal #madrigal triplets #tags bc I want people to enjoy this mental image with me #THE DRAMA

[uwuwriting]

A little early for that w/ Todoroki, Shinsou and Bakugou

Request: hii can i req a hc of todo, shinsou, and bakugou seeing y/n taking care of eri then they’ll be like “i want a baby with you” :D - anonymous

Don’t get me started on the latest BNHA chapter. I just don’t want to talk about it. I’ll try to make a double upload today so maybe expect a song fic after this one Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: fluff

Todoroki Shoto 

-It was during Eri’s visit during christmas that it hit Todo. 

-You were dressed in a Santa costume just like everyone else with Eri gripping your hand as you took her around the room explaining all about Christmas celebrations. 

-It was a very mundane moment if you think about it. 

-You were being kind and caring to a child who had suffered immensely at the hands of Overhaul and you wanted to show her what the holiday was all about. 

-Now that he thinks of it, it shouldn’t have struck him like it did. 

-His chest became warm and fuzzy, his cheeks heating up a bit as he stared at you and Eri. 

-Then you kneeled down and brought Eri into a hug, raising her into the air so she could place an ornament on the class’s tree and it was game over for him. 

-He prides himself in being a rather collected person but at that moment he lost all sense of control over his emotions. 

-His mouth hung open and his chest started to squeeze, knocking the breath out of him. 

-He couldn’t help the thoughts of the both of  you owning a house somewhere not very far from Tokyo, waking up to you every morning , making breakfast with you and enjoying all the moments you shared. 

-Then other images flooded his mind. 

-Sitting in the living room as you steadied your toddler, a perfect mix of the two of you, helping them waddle towards him. 

-Him helping them place the ornament at the very top of your Christmas tree every time you decorated.

-He could see your smile so vividly he almost thought it was real. 

-It was a ridiculous thought for a 16 year old to have and he knew it but in that moment he let himself imagine it. 

-Before he knew it you were standing next to him, Eri running off to Aizawa excited to share what she just learned about christmas,  arms crossed over your chest as you let out a happy sigh. 

- “My santa work is done for the day.”

- “You would make a great mom” 

- *pikachu meme*

-He sensed your confusion *and so did your dead ancestors*

- “I want to be next to you when that happens.” 

-Girl you got whiplash from this whole conversation. 

-You couldn’t decide if you were soft and giddy since he basically said that he wants to start a family with you or if you were terrified because he said he wants to start A FAMILY WITH YOU WHEN YOU’RE BARELY 16. 

-In his defense he didn’t say he wanted to start now. 

-So you kinda calmed down. 

- “I-um thank you Sho. I think you would make a great father too.”

-Blushy blushy baby after that one. 

-Some denial sprinkled on top because trauma but blushy blushy boy. 

Shinsou Hitoshi

-Okay now third year Shinsou is a stressed Shinsou. 

-A third year you is a stressed you. 

-And a field day with your now ten year old somewhat trauma free adopted by your homeroom teacher child was what you both needed. 

-Shinsou is like a big brother to Eri at this point. 

-He has babysat her one too many times to not be considered at least a stable figure in her life. 

-You had decided to take a stroll in the park, the autumn air and all the pretty leaves making it a sight to behold. 

-Plus it had a pond with ducks. 

-And you love ducks. 

-Shinsou had brought some bread crumbs so you could feed them and that’s what you were doing when it hit him. 

-That weird domesticity. 

-You were crouched down on Eri’s height, one arm wrapped securely around her small waist so she wouldn’t fall into the pond and the other was outstretched with a piece of bread, motioning to the ducks to approach you. 

-It was a nice scene, picture perfect if you asked him and it did something to his heart strings. 

-Just like Todo he imagined walking home with you after a tiring day at your agency, your hands intertwined, matching golden bands circling your ring fingers. 

-He imagined a little Y/N being next to you and not Eri. 

-Vibrant purple hair sticking out at every which direction as they would throw bread at the ducks maybe even calling him over when one got too close. 

-He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed you standing in front of him, waving your hand over his eyes so you could get his attention. 

- “Earth to Toshi!” 

-You giggled when he shook his head, his eyes wide as he stared at your smiling features. 

- “Eri is hungry-” “You are hungry Y/N-chan!!!” “- and she wanted to go get some good old onigiri from that new shop that opened down the street.” “Lies…”

-You side-eyed the little girl who outed you, her own eyes staring right back in accusation as you let out a sigh saying under your breath “I’m hungry”

-He couldn’t control his laughter as it bubbled from his lips, ruffling Eri’s hair while giving you a kiss on the lips as he circled his arm around your waist and took Eri’s with his other one. 

- “Can’t say no to my girls now, can I?” 

-It was later that night when he voiced his thoughts. 

-You were asleep in his dorm, laying basically on him with your head tucked in his neck as you breathed evenly. 

- “It’s a little early to think of kids but I can’t wait to have one with you.” 

-And with that he fell asleep his dreams being filled with images of you.

Bakugou Katsuki 

-You managed to get him to say that???

-Mister tough as balls?

-Mister imma roundhouse kick you if you look at me with affection in your eyes?

-Someone get this girl a medal. 

-But in all seriousness it was a very motherly move. 

-You were in your second year, the events of the war with the villains still haunting all of you so everyone was keeping an eye on their loved ones and their classmates. 

-Bakugou was no exception .

-Seeing people getting hurt severely, seeing himself so defeated and hurt during those battles had rattled him and he would always linger close to you, a slight paranoia having taken his place in his heart the past few months. 

-You understood why he did it, why he hovered next to you most of the time and if you were being honest it didn’t really bother you * except from that one time you went to the bathroom and he called you three times in a row bc he couldn’t see you and panicked*

-Eri was running around with Kaminari and Sero, the three of them playing tag with the one brain cell they all shared at the moment. 

-Suddenly, Eri tripped and fell, scraping her knee on the pavement, small tears forming in her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. 

-In a flash you were next to her, a hand massaging her knee around the area of the wound while the other one was cupping her cheek, your thumb making small circles on the girl’s cheekbones. 

- “It’s just a scratch. See? It’s not that bad.”

-Bakugou was just staring at the scene unfolding in front of him, his immediate thoughts being that you looked so motherly in that moment. 

-The concern and the reassurance reminded him of his mother when she would calm him down after he got hurt, before she became a pain in the ass *as he likes to say*.

-Without him even realizing it he made a mental image of your shared family. 

-A house in the outskirts, with a yard, maybe a dog running around. 

-But most importantly a little demon that looked like you, climbing onto your shared bed on his day off, nestling in between you two as it went back asleep.

-You making breakfast while having them in your arms. 

-He really wished he could see that now. 

-But he’s a little young and you wouldn’t really like having a baby before finishing high school sooo he kinda buried it. 

-He told you about it when you both were in his dorm getting ready for a movie night. 

-It was a more aggressive approach but you got the point of his little rant. 

- “I want to spend my life with you too Katsu.” 

- “SHUT UP SHITTY WOMAN!”

- “OI!”

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​ @storage11037​ @wolfkid22​ @letscheereachotheron​ @ezoyscorner​ @luluwiie​ @threeamwriting​ @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses​

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[creation-help]

Welcome to Creation help! On this blog I'll be making prompts, oc questions, and general creativity! I can boost you if you want :] tag me if you use any of my original ideas presented here bc I wanna see what you made!!

You're always free to ask me for creative advice or prompts related to different subjects! Sharing ocs or story ideas, or asking for advice on developing either is also a thing here :]

I'm welcome to suggestions! And remember, basic DNI criteria, no radfems/terfs "gender critical" or other transphobes, exclusionists, real people shippers, serial killer thirsters ect ect. You can ask me to use tone tags! /gen

I focus mostly on help with original content, though I am in some Fandoms! I'll try my best to help with whatever I can. If not I'll direct you elsewhere to look. Please be patient and understanding with me, I do this in my free time and though there is passion for the topic, I put alot of work into my original content or the advice I give. I'm only a (mentally ill) person who's barely able to work.

Replies from @morsobaby, and my personal art blog is @grokebaby! I'd be happy if you checked it out and shared my art!

Additional info under the cut (not mandatory but the "Blog etiquette" section is highly recommended)

- Person running the blog is a queer person 18-20 yrs of age. I'm genderfluid, and you're free to ask how I'd like to be referred but you may default to it/its or xe/xir. I'm fine with any neopronouns and they are preferred for me. You can call me Mx/Mr creation, Mod, or any funny "professional" nickname you can think of.

I have a great passion for storytelling (art, visual mediums, writing, character design, media analysis, cinematography to an extent) which might be obvious judging by the blog.

Blog etiquette:

- Reblog the art I feature on here and support small artists whenever I boost them. Are you a small artist? Ask to be featured! But I repeat: Reblog the art I boost on here. This is an artist supportive space. Includes pieces of writing also.

- If you need help developing your ocs, stories, or want advice on writing or character building, ykno, all the stuff that this blog is for, please use my inbox for that! I use dms for more personal interactions so it's not my preferred work method to advise you 1x1 like that. Plus I talk alot, so you'd just get a bunch of very long texts. Please don't take it personally if I leave your dm unanswered, it's simply a matter of how I run things here! Though if needed you can drop information, links or images in my dms, if you find it more convenient for something. You can always ask me to reply to your asks privately or ask to remain anonymous.

- Though I do enjoy socializing, please don't try to befriend me for perks, or cross some social boundaries. I know that should be obvious, but I've had people act way too comfortable in my dms, or expecting me to immediately do something for them, or pestering me about something that I haven't done yet, or am still working on. This is part of the reason for that prev section. I love helping people here, and it's not a matter of me having "high standards" for relationships. Simple fact is that I'm a stranger running this blog and though you as followers may learn things about me based on this blog, I don't know any of you personally, and vice versa. If you want me to boost something just say so and I'll gladly do it. But it feels really deceptive if someone comes to chat me up and then few replies in go "Can you reblog my post btw?" (Ps. If you've dmed me and I've ignored you, don't worry if this is automatically talking about you, I understand that there's also just simple instances of people not knowing I prefer the inbox and that is fine!)

- ADDITIONALLY. Do not dm me on my main or art blog with the expectation that I'd do you some favor or promo you or something similar. This blog is for all the fun creative help type stuff, if you come to me personally with the expectation that I'll do something for you, you will get ignored, bc honestly, it feels hurtful to think someone would wanna get to know me just for "I have a big blog" perks such as reblogs on your content. Listen, I really do understand how it is being a small artist (I am one myself! Even with a large following on here, I don't get alot of engagement on my personal art!), but remember that I am a person, and not doing this for profit. I am here for fun and the help I offer is with my own boundaries.

- Though I am an adult, this blog is intended to be friendly for minors too. Due to this if your ask or story contains mature themes, please put a warning upfront! This includes anything from homo- or transphobia, to abuse (sexual or otherwise), to self harm or issues with body image. Ect. And though I do believe it's important to talk about healthy and safe sexuality openly, it should be Context and age appropriate. So I will answer asks relating to sexual orientation for example, or talk about body parts in relation to character design or gender identity, due to representation. I will also answer asks relating to how to handle certain touchier topics (IF I feel I have anything valuable to talk about on the topic, and with the appropriate warnings attached!). But I will not answer any explicit asks (maybe, MAYBE privately, depending on the intent). I use heavy discretion on this but generally speaking I won't discuss explicit NSFW/kinks/fetishes/sex acts or generally things that are intended to be naughty and for an adult audience. Again, Heavy Discretion. I understand any forms of storytelling may contain explicit topics and it's also important to know how to handle those tactfully but if I feel an ask is too spicy, I likely will leave it unanswered. This blog is for general audiences, not specifically meant to be a "Kids" space, but appropriate for minors and youths ykno. Besides you shouldn't be on Tumblr if you're like, under 13, was it?

Bottom line is that darker topics will need responsible handling and I won't be tackling anything pornographic or anything I find inappropriate for this blog and it's audience. You may also use your own discretion depending on how heavily or explicitly your story handles darker topics, when sending an ask.

- Last but not least, be clear and upfront on what you're looking for! I can do a variety of things here. Stuff you can request including (but not limited to): Oc/story reviews (original or existing franchises), writing tips, art tips, input on an oc/story, art reviews (pls specify deliberately if you want constructive criticism on something), commentary, inspiration, prompts, boosting, names, ideas and so on. Just ask and we'll see about it! Depending on how big of a task your thing would be, it may take a longer while, be prepared for that. I answer asks a bit sporadically at times. Thank you for reading, please enjoy! Feedback or general nice comments are always welcome!

#Other #Oc prompts #Oc #creative prompts #Worldbuilding #Art advice