#taking up space

[guiltyidealist]

"I'm sorry I vented and took up your time with my bullshit" ❌

feeds abandonment fears, implies having needs and being helped with them are wrong, makes it all about you

"Thank you for being patient with me through that, I appreciate that you took the time" ✅

shows your gratitude, affirms your affinity, no "using up" anybody's effort, makes it about you both as equals

"I'm sorry I dumped without checking consent first. I need to act respectfully and ask for your permission before I vent" ✅

"I'm sorry I said x, that was inappropriate of me to put on you" ✅

"Was it okay when I said x the way I did?" ✅

"Would you like to place a boundary around that?" ✅

"What could I do/say instead that's healthier for us both?" ✅

correct an actual wrong, seize due accountability, consider their rights as much as yours, make amends, work to correct missteps going forward

#this is a personal callout 😍 #reminders #codependency #codependent #recovering codependent #recovery #bpd #rsd #rejection sensitive dysphoria #guilt #shame #taking up space #waste of space #sorry for existing #apology #over apologizing #sorry #people pleaser #toxic #regret #remorse #gratitude #self worth #codapunk

[that-ineffable-devil]

One of my all time favorite things about Crowley is the way he's not afraid to take up space.

That signature stalking gay strut that tells you to run--though you're not sure whether it's towards or from--or at the very least get out of his way.

The open-legged slouchy way he sits in chairs, somehow exuding supreme confidence and aloofness yet extreme vigilance.

The way he's not afraid to be in the way. How his body language says "I'm here and I will make that everyone else's problem if I don't like what's going on."

I know internally he's a lot more scared than he lets on, but you'd never know it just from seeing him on the street.

#i keep saying this #but gender goals #hell personality goals #I have always been afraid of being too much #too big #too loud #taking up space #Being in any way annoying or inconvenient to anyone else #I'm trying to let that go #I'm not gonna be here forever #So I will make that everyone else's problem if I don't like what's going on #crowley #anthony j crowley #good omens season 1 #good omens s1 #good omens #gender goals

[thepeacefulgarden]

#you matter #you are enough #you are worthy #taking up space #you are not a burden #you are not crazy #you are not too much #you are not too little #you deserve it #you deserve happiness #imposter syndrome #self compassion #self care is not selfish #self care is not an indulgence #people pleasing #fawning #codependency #boundaries #self respect #giving and receiving

[serenityquest]

#self esteem #taking up space

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

It’s your own blog that is specifically for posting whatever you want and you know that everyone can curate their own experience anyone can click away or even block you for any reason at any time but still when you hit the post button you immediately feel like “oh god oh no I burdened the world with my problems that’s not okay why did I do that”

#audhd problems #bpd mood #neurodiversity #adhd autistic #did osdd #complex trauma #trauma recovery #late diagnosed autistic #audhd #cptsd recovery #rejection sensitive dysphoria #fear of being perceived #autistic borderline #taking up space #cptsd healing #autistic trauma #childhood trauma #traumagenic

[unwelcome-ozian]

#trauma recovery #taking up space #abuse recovery

[finding-hope-strength-courage]

Keep taking up space even if your low self esteem is telling you not to. 🌸

#Mental Health #Mental Illness #Awareness #Understanding #Recovery #Healing #Progress #Fighting #Reminders #Low Self Esteem #Taking Up Space #Strength #Hope

[skysometric]

Taking Up Space

sad news: over the weekend we had to say goodbye to our beloved Smokey Joe, a gray tabby cat of 16 years, and one of four cats in our household. early last week we found him paralyzed in his back legs and tail, and his health simply declined from there. he lived a good long life filled with love, so we have no regrets.

this video sums up his personality. taken by my partner @harmonyfriends, as with all of the pictures here.

smokey was a playful, talkative, affectionate kitty. he would talk back when we said his name or asked him questions, answering with little "myows" and "mrahs." he was never much of a lap cat, but he loved to curl up next to us and rub up against us. he enjoyed playing chase around the house, just for the thrill of running back and forth.

Smokey in his Morph Ball form.

his very favorite place was the "cat pile," our big bed of comfy blankets and pillows, where my partner and i and all of the cats would go curl up after a long day. he was usually the first to join us; he'd situate himself between our legs and bury his nose in his favorite blanket, purring as loud as can be. the cat pile is already emptier without him, and we'll miss his presence dearly.

Smokey (back) is survived by his sister Lily (front).

but, like many cats, he was also a little menace sometimes.

for every nice thing i just listed, he had an annoying side. he was talkative, sure, which led to him wailing at 4am for no particular reason other than asking for company. he enjoyed playing rough – sometimes without warning, leading to lots of sharp scratches. he loved to curl up with us in bed, but when he was unhappy he'd pee on the bed, forcing us to clean up after him and lock him out of the room for a while. this, in addition to all the regular maintenance that comes with a cat (or rather, four of them!).

so when he wailed i'd get up and wrap him in a blanket so he'd get some sleep. and when we played i learned how to avoid his sensitive spots, just as he learned how to keep his claws from coming out. and when the bed smelled like pee, we'd clean it up and welcome him back on the bed with us before long.

after all, he's worth that love, and i wouldn't trade him for the world.

nestled in a blanket, happy as can be.

i'm sure in your time on the internet you've come across some flavor of post that says "you deserve to take up space." if you're like me, growing up to be proud of how little space you take up, it probably hit you hard! but it also paints a picture of something we've never been allowed to see. what does it look like to take up space, to not be pushed away, to still be deserving of love?

it looks like Smokey Joe, who we affectionately called a "pissbaby" in between hugs and kisses.

smokey's story is an illustration of what it looks like to take up space, how the same ways we share joy are sometimes the same ways we go overboard. but it's also an illustration of how to love someone who takes up space, how to be patient with them and grow with them.

so i want to carry his memory by living both sides of that coin – sharing more of myself even when it's ugly, while allowing others to do the same. after all, how else are we supposed to show our love?

#writing #cats #mental health #taking up space #life

[vizthedatum]

Taking up space means you need to actually believe that you’re worthy of that space.

Weird that your physical presence and perception from others is really about your inner presence and perception about yourself.

Well it’s not that weird but it feels strange when you’re used to altering yourself to appease instead of… being there and saying, “I’m here, what’s good, what’s next?”

It’s really not trivial to act like you truly deserve the space to just be yourself authentically when there are so many who will either act like you’re unfairly taking that space or even leeching the space from other people.

But you’re not.

Your space was always yours. Fuck them. And fuck your own old way of thinking.

#dismantling coping mechanisms #taking up space #healing #trauma #love #neurodivergence #queer #harm #self love #prose #it’s hard to internalize #you have to be honest with your feelings #you can’t just change your feelings with the snap of your finger #be upset that you got so good at making yourself small #heartbreak #empowerment

[smokeandsteam]

taking up space

no. 3 andrea gibson, “i sing the body electric, especially when my power is out” // no. 4 mary oliver, “wild geese”

#taking up space #existential #nature #thecryptonaturalist #cryptonature #space #being #caitlyn siehl #andrea gibson #mary oliver #nikka ursula #jane mead #faery ring #fossils #poetry older than words #the universe is an ongoing explosion #and then writes about it #it hurts to become #lets the soft animal of your body love what it loves #alcameso #smokeandsteam #smokeandsteam words #poetry

[chai-fi-rush]

#my writing #fanfic #hi fi rush #hfr #taking up space

[thepeacefulgarden]

#be yourself #fitting in #neurodivergent #lgbtq+ #find your people #find your joy #happiness #you deserve happiness #you matter #you are allowed to take up space #taking up space #self care #self compassion #self love #self respect #self acceptance

[huggingstuffiesandcrying]

'cause i am the idiot with the painted face :(

in the corner, taking up space

[patriciavetinari]

I don't... like when conversation about fat people includes the arguement 'everyone has folds, everyone has a stomach tHaTs WhErE yOuR iNtErNaL oRgAnS aRe'.

While true, this arguement misses the point because... Well, very thin people with very flat stomachs with minimal folds visible even when they bend over all also have internal organs.

I mean... Every size -000 / 8374839xs model on the runway has internal organs. Enough of them to keep the body alive and functioning and walking the runway. Critically underweight people have internal organs. Like... Yeah, my stomach has internal organs. AND it has a large layer of fat on top of them that forms what is called an apron stomach because it hangs down like an apron over my lower abdomen. This feature of my body is widely considered unattractive, it's pretty much impossible to change without surgery, makes clothing choices difficult, is a direct RESULT of dieting and weight loss, and if I were to give into peer pressure and get the surgery to diminish it, such surgery would still leave space for my internal organs.

Thin people are not thin because they get their organs removed and thus acieve flat stomachs. Thin people do not store their organs elsewere. Thin body also has space for internal organs.

Room for internal organs is not a valid or scientific or in any way meaningful arguement in support of stomachs larger than -000 size. Stomach is one of the places where human body that is built to retain fat can store that fat. And people with such bodies deserve exactly the same rights as people whose bodies store fat elsewhere or don't store much at all.

There's no body type that doesn't have space for internal organs.

In my case, I think it wasn't an accident a lot of my post-ED weight settled as an apron stomach, because that was also the part of me that I used to beat violently with fists and dumbbells and tried to rip off more than once during fatphobia-induced rage fits, plus it's close to reproductive system and the body might put in extra work to protect that area.

And if someone's self conciousness lingers on having a fold when bent over, or having anything above size -0 as their waist measurement - I truly don't care about those people. Get better, whatever, have witty comebacks ready, tell yourself to 'tAkE uP sPaCe' but I have minus zero time for such body 'issues' where a size S dreams of being an XS when I'm here trying to find peace with an XXL stomach that causes me to experience medical, housing and professional discrimination. All while enjoying my internal organs.

#fatphobia #taking up space #self harm mention

[unwelcome-ozian]

#abuse recovery #trauma recovery #trauma and the body #trauma responses #taking up space

[impossibleprincess35]

[Personal Thoughts.. TL;DR]

I struggle so much with "taking up space" in my personal life.

Career-wise, I've always just bit the bullet and done it. You put on the work clothes. You put on the articulate office voice. You play a role. You can demand attention and respect and collaborative discussion, and when you go home, the disguise comes off and all is well.

But in my personal life, I've always had a hard time fitting in anywhere. I love things so passionately, and I feel things so deeply, so when I find outlets to share them, I think I come across as overly eager. The people pleaser complex in me wants to be liked - not loved, just liked, which is more than tolerated - and so, I end up second guessing everything I do.

Every invite. Every message. Every contribution to the conversation. Every passion project. Every smile.

I wonder what I'm doing in these circles and my brain starts to overthink all of it:

I'm not athletic enough. If my injury requires me to go slower or adjust, I'll hold them back.

I'm not intelligent enough. If I go to the conference and I ask a question for better understanding, I'll embarrass them.

I'm not nerdy enough. If I say something that the fandom doesn't agree with, they'll discount all of my other thoughts.

I'm not talented enough. If I share this, will I look like a conceited asshole when really, I'm terrible at it?

I'm not interesting enough. If I talk about something personal, will anyone even give a shit?

And eventually, all of this stuff eats away at the very basic level of confidence that I have, to the point where I'm just going through the motions. I never want to be a bother or an extra body just taking up space that would be better suited for someone else.

Even in circles where I feel like I should belong, with people I feel I should have lots of commonalities with, it feels off.

It's like this permanent feeling of isolation and loneliness. I don't want to take up space. I don't want to disrupt someone else's vibes. I don't want to look like an outcast. But I take these little steps to work away from that, so I show up to the event, I contribute to the conversation, I cheer others on, and I make myself open and available because I'm making the effort and I want others to know that I value the space I'm trying to occupy; but then I doubt every single thing I do, to the point where I'm nauseous at the event, I'm reading into the text message, I'm hesitating to be excited about something for fear of seeming too eager, and I edit my thoughts because I'm afraid everyone will go,

"What are you even doing here?!"

#journaling #personal shit #omg get out of my own fucking head #taking up space