DO NOT BE AFRAID
this is combining Ovid's Heroides and the Excidium Troie because I can't stop thinking of Hermes telling him not to be afraid. what the fuck!! Ares is wearing the crown that Paris gave him.
I have. thoughts. about Paris. he's almost got this Troilos parallel in my mind, that the event that defines him in detail exists in a lost narrative that we don't have (the Cypria), but everyone else knew. the event that defines Troilos is his death (murdered, butchered by Achilles, the violence of which haunts everything after. Achilles, child killer, you can't escape that!), and the event that defines Paris is the Judgement. what's a lost text but a kind of grave!!
idk I don't think that Paris before the Judgement would recognize himself after bc when you become god touched, it rearranges your guts. you become transformed in the worst way possible! how could you recognize yourself! but I also think that all the Parises after the Judgement would recognize each other because that event is so locked into the trauma of war and the scar it leaves on the land, it's like a scar on the narrative too. it exists like this forever, over and over again, so you exist like that forever too. Troy collects grief and despairs.
Troy as trauma: Reflections on intergenerational transmission and the locus of trauma, Andromache Karanika
and Paris is like. a miserable little god/corpse-puppet or something, like a match for the gods to throw onto gasoline.
The Excidium Troie + Ovid's Heroides:
Excidium Troie, trans. Muhammad Syarif Fadhlurrahman
Ovid, Heroides 16 (trans. Harold Isbell)
a collection of things regarding Paris that made me go 😬 but under a cut bc this is getting. very long.
The Divine Twins in Early Greek Poetry, Corolla Torontonensis
Iliad 24 and the Judgement of Paris, C.J. Mackie
Elegy and Epic and the Recognition of Paris: Ovid "Heroides" 16, Elizabeth Forbis Mazurek
Ennian Influence in "Heroides" 16 and 17, Howard Jacobson
Paris/Alexandros in the "Iliad", I. J. F. de Jong
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I'm looking up local-ish "Rendezvous" events—which is an odd choice of term for gatherings where people wear 18th century through early 19th century clothing, with an American frontier emphasis, and they usually involve things like flintlock long rifles, axe-throwing contests, and vendors who sell period clothing and supplies. Also called "primitive rendezvous" or "mountain man" events. The participants will camp out, and Indigenous American goods from the same time period are typical, like they're basically trying to replicate the aesthetics and technology of an American frontier outpost.
The general consensus is that clothing, equipment, etc. at a Rendezvous must be pre-1840 in design; which is very entertaining to me. One, the designation of the 1840s specifically as the beginning of Modernity, and secondly, the idea that you could roll up to one of these Daniel Boone reenactment-type events dressed like this:
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His dad didn’t check in with Sprite a single time this entire episode. Didn’t ask how he was holding up. Didn’t ask if this was becoming too much. Didn’t ask if he thought he could keep going. All he kept asking about was Zee. How is Zee doing? How bad are his injuries? How are you doing with HIS volleyball practices?
Sprite may have volunteered to do it, but that doesn’t mean his own parents can go without checking in on him. Yet they don’t, and Sprite doesn’t even think about asking for it anymore. He doesn’t complain about the toll it’s taking on his body. Having to do both sports. He only complains that he isn’t good at volleyball like Zee is so he caused the team to loss. It’s ironic that Salmon is the only one to ask about this because she isn’t even Sprite’s friend, she’s Zee’s girlfriend. Sprite probably thinks she’s only doing it because she is concerned about Zee’s place on the team, not about Sprite and how soon his body is going to give out from under him.
To watch the hope and light die just a little bit more in Sprite’s eyes each passing day is hard. All anyone cares about is Zee. Zee is the one in the hospital. Zee is the one their mother pours all of her effort into. (I honestly have so much to say about their mother and none of it good). Zee is the golden child that their parents immediately go too when he’s sick or injured.
Zee is the one both of them finally listen to when he tells them to leave his hospital room. Neither can even show the maturity necessarily to hold back arguing about Zee as if he isn’t even there. And if Zee isn’t even there, where exactly is Sprite?
Both of their parents seem to only think about their children in terms of what they can do for them. Zee’s talent in volleyball out weigh Sprite’s talent in jiujitsu to them. Zee is the quiet one who did as they said without comment. Zee is the good child who suffers in silence and does not make trouble, whereas Sprite causes nothing but trouble.
It’s honestly no wonder Zee finally can’t take it anymore. His anger at Sprite might be misplaced, but I get where it is coming from. He can’t suffer in silence anymore. He can’t take the weigh of his mother’s disproportionate expectations and his father’s distance. He can’t take that his brother seems to have a carefree life, void of the constraints of the world. It’s no wonder he wants what Sprite has.
It’s also no wonder why Sprite does what he does. He mouths off to his teammates, not knowing or realizing that they are capable of such extremes (who on earth would want to believe that) and causes Zee’s hospitalization. He wants to do everything he can to get his mother to pay attention to him because for all that he might have come to terms with it, he is still a little boy desperate for his mother’s love and affection, even if it comes with strings as thick as rope for him to dangle himself over the precipitous. Even if in the end, she still won’t give it to him. He still want to make things better for the brother who hates him for something that isn’t even his fault.
Sprite has only been shown time and time again that his parents may take care of him, but they do it because they have too. They do it because he was the plus one to Zee’s birth. They might love him because he is their son, but they do not care about him.
So Sprite tries with the team. Tries to get on their good side and make friends and build something with them because he wants them to like his brother (always his brother, never him). Only to be forced back into the corner and belittled and ignored because he isn’t his brother. He doesn’t have the skills necessary to play like his brother does because it’s impossible to build those skills in only a few short weeks when Zee’s been doing it for years. And he can’t even tell them why he can’t play as well as Zee can because if he does that and one of them tells the coach then the whole team is screwed.
Sprite is walking a dangerously tight rope and he is going to fall one day. He is going to fall and he needs to learn about to catch himself because he knows in his heart he has no safety net. He has no one save a single friend who only knows half the story, who only knows what Sprite tells him. He doesn’t believe he has his family to fall back on. He knows he doesn’t have the team to fall back on. He only has himself because it’s been proven to him time and time again. So he tries his damnest to make sure nothing effects him. He tries so hard to get better at volleyball, to make his parents proud, to make sure he does his best for his teammate, to make sure that his brother has a life and a sport to come back too. He tries so hard NOT to think about the fact that his father doesn’t check in with him when he finally comes clean.
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tobin and christen have done such a wonderful job with the re-cap show up until this point, but this episode was just... so good. compassionate while also critical, loyal while also being level-headed about what went wrong. this whole day i found myself feeling really jumbled, trying to reconcile why this loss hurt so especially bad, and at least for now, i don’t think i’m going to share those reasons on my lil blog, but the re-inc team have done such a good job with breaking everything down in a way that feels right.
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fics where havers somehow gets up in the mix with the button house crew are always good bc mwah capvers but it's also always funny to see him interact with the other ghosts. it's like daniel vs the cooler daniel. the ghosts inexplicably love him and dunk on cap. maybe it's just the novelty of a new person but they're always like oh a nice soldier! such a gentleman, so polite! not like you, captain. big "julia you have a lovely home, jacob you could do better" energy.
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