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dantakeyoman · 8 months

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𝐉𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐘 | 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐨𝐧𝐞

♡ 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

♡ * 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈, 𝒔𝒆𝒙𝒚, 𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆, 𝒛𝒐𝒎𝒃𝒊𝒆-𝒌𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏. 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔. *

♡ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐳𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦 (𝐳𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬), 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐨𝐟 𝐳𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬), 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐬, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬, 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.

♡ * 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒚: 𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍 *

𝐎𝐍𝐄

Amazing how quick things can go from bad to unfathomably fucking bad.

Waking up on that fateful day, you thought you'd go through your normal routine.

Eat your honey-bun breakfast, show up late to your brother's car shop, starting working, and then return to your shitty apartment for a horrible TV dinner and a movie.

Not once did you plan for him to try to bite your face off, and not once did you plan on chopping off your only brother's head because of it.

It didn't take long after that for the entire world to go to shit, which made you grateful that your father had the paranoia of a redneck.

After taking a quick stop home and packing a duffel full of goodies, you headed off in a stolen pickup truck as far as you could from Newark.

Which was now a zombie war-zone.

A couple months and various zombie scares later, and here you were, walking the interstate in the middle of Texas, your recent mode of transportation having broken down a couple miles back.

"Might as well take inventory," you grumbled to yourself, taking in a deep sigh as you plopped down on a barricade.

You found it comforting to talk every once in a while, even if it was to yourself.

Life in the apocalypse was lonely.

If you didn't, you'd probably forget how to talk all together.

Unzipping the duffel, you rummaged around, counting what you had.

2 grenades, a shotgun, a rifle, and a couple more magazines.

Not too shabby.

You suddenly heard a noise. A rumbling one.

It was a car engine.

Snapping your head over to its source, you could see a black Cadillac Escalade with a snow-plow attachment heading straight for you.

Fast.

Pro, driving means no zombie.

Con, sometimes humans are worse than the zombies.

Pro, they got a working car.

Con, might also have a working gun.

...

"I got guns, too," you smirked, pulling out your glock from your pants and staying seated, shifting so whoever couldn't see the weapon.

To your surprise, he pulled up right next to you, stepping out the car.

You held up your gun, pointing it between his eyes, and he cocked his lever action shotgun, pointing it at your chest.

Finally having the chance to get a good look at him, you took in his outfit.

He had on brown cowboy boots tucked under the hem of his blue jeans, a black v-neck, a leather jacket, tacky shades, and to top it all off, a brown, real deal Brazil hat.

He used his other hand to toss his shades, allowing you to see his blue eyes as the two of you stared each other down.

He was actually kind of handsome...in a rugged, apocalypse sort of way.

You raised a brow, removing the safety off your glock to show you were serious.

And he did the same thing, cocking his gun with a smug expression.

Still trying to hold out, you kept your position, but he raised a brow, making sure you really wanted to go there.

You caved.

With a sigh, you returned the safety, using your other hand to hold up a thumb.

He lowered his weapon, nodding toward his truck as he walked off to do something.

You threw your bag over your shoulder, trudging towards the passenger and opening the door.

Using your gun, you did a quick check of the car, making sure there wasn't anyone or anything present that could harm you.

"What're you lookin' for?" The man curtly asked with a country twang as he plopped down in the driver's.

It seems like he returned from kicking over a motorcycle.

"Danger," you answered, sitting down and shutting the door, turning to him with cold eyes.

"Nothin' back there but my duffel bag," he half-assured, something about the look in his eye letting you know he was telling the truth.

"Good," you nodded, turning to face the road.

He stared at you a moment, almost as if he was studying you, and what to do next.

"You say more than one word at a time?" He cocked a brow.

You turned to him seriously, "...Yes."

He sighed, accepting that that was probably the best he was gonna get, and turned the key to the ignition.

You tried to suppress the feelings of guilt, deciding to turn and look out the window.

But it kept clawing at you.

'This guy's doin' you a solid. Show at least a little gratitude, pig.'

"Thank you," you caved, keeping your eyes trained on the window.

Slightly taken aback, he turned to you, before snapping himself out of it.

"Don't mention it," he nodded, pulling off.

And as you started to find a steady speed, your eyes managed to catch a glance at the bottle of Jack Daniels that sat in the cup-holder.

God, you hadn't had a good drink since you raided that liquor store a couple weeks back.

"You mind?" You asked, cutting your eyes at the bottle as if you were a lion and it was a juicy gazelle.

He slightly smiled, "Knock yourself out."

You grabbed the bottle by its neck, taking a hard swig and relishing in the delicious burn with a sigh.

"You got a name?" You asked again, not letting the liquid courage go to waste.

"Stop," he quickly shut down, keeping his eyes on the road, "No names. Keeps us from gettin' too familiar."

Realizing he left his humongous knife on the armrest, he picked it up, tossing it in the back.

"Whatever you say, Crocodile Dundee," you shrugged, taking another swig.

He gave you a quick look, noting the comment before moving on.

You noticed this with a small smirk, but covered it by passing off the bottle.

"Where you headed?" He asked, taking it from you and knocking back his own swig.

"Jersey," you answered, scratching your head with the tip of your gun, "You?"

"Tallahassee," he replied.

A wonderfully terrible idea popped into your head.

"Y'know, Jersey and Tallahassee are both east..." you tried to lead.

"So?" He asked, turning to you.

You sighed, "So, Tallahassee, you wanna stick together? 'Til we reach a crossroads."

"Here's the deal, Jersey," he started, "I'm not easy to get along with...and I'm sensin' you're a bit of a bitch."

Your eyebrows furrowed at the last part, and you shot him a quick glare that told him to watch it.

"But...I'm willin' to take this relationship as far as Texarkana."

You shrugged, resting your cheek in your palm as you watched the window again, "Fine by me."

He scoffed with a smile, "You're a little ray of sunshine, aincha?"

"Like you're all peaches an' cream, Tex," you rolled your eyes, "Just drive."

"I can tell already you're gonna get on my nerves."

"Feeling's mutual."

𝒛 𝒐 𝒎 𝒃 𝒊 𝒆 𝒍 𝒂 𝒏 𝒅

After driving an hour or so, picking up some scrawny kid on his way to Ohio, the three of you got to know each other slightly better.

Which made you realize just how fucked you were traveling with these two idiots, and how stupid you looked right now.

"We look fucking stupid right now," you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"What are we doing here?" Columbus, the scrawny kid, asked, turning to Tallahassee.

"Well, take a look," Tal scoffed, "It's a goddamn Hostess truck."

And he was right.

The three of you had pulled over on the side of the road, where a large Hostess truck had fallen into a ditch.

"So what?" Columbus raised a brow.

"I could use a Twinkie," Tal proudly nodded, stepping forward to go down the hill.

You rolled your eyes, but followed, holding your gun at the ready.

Until you realized you were missing someone.

"You comin'?" You asked, turning to Scrawny.

"Yes. Yeah. Just one second," he puttered, suddenly starting to do squats and lunges.

You and Tal turned to each other, sharing the same disbelieving look before turning back to the idiot.

"You fuckin' with me?" Tal asked.

"No, I'm not," Columbus grunted, doing some sort of marching, "You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we're going down that hill. It is very important."

"I don't believe it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?" Tal scoffed.

Columbus paused, "...Fair enough."

You rolled your eyes, starting your descent and reaching the truck already.

"With the time you ladies take, I'll be dead before we get back on the road. Could we hurry this up?" You sighed.

The two men quickly joined you, and once Columbus was at the ready, you opened the door.

Only for hundreds of packages of Sno Balls to come pouring out.

But not a single Twinkie in sight.

"Sno Balls? Sno Balls?!" Tal began to rage, frantically sifting through the pile, "Where's the fuckin' Twinkies?!"

"I like Sno Balls," Columbus smiled with a full mouth, already chowing down.

"I hate coconut," Tal scoffed.

You gasped, but he was quick to correct himself.

"Not the taste, the consistency."

"Nearly had me," you mumbled, taking a bite of your own Sno Ball.

'I don't think I could travel with someone who doesn't like coconut.'

"Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain't over yet," he assured, turning around and storming back up the hill.

You sighed, shifting your gun over your shoulder by it's strap, following him.

"Hey, this may be bad time," Columbus started, trailing close behind, "but I gotta take the Browns to the Superbowl."

"Again?" You cocked a brow, turning to him, "Might as well take the shitter with us."

𝒛 𝒐 𝒎 𝒃 𝒊 𝒆 𝒍 𝒂 𝒏 𝒅

"I've heard there's a place that's untouched by all this crap," Columbus started, laying down in the backseat.

"Back east, yeah?" You chimed, looking up into the rear-view.

"Yeah. You heard the same thing?" He perked up.

"No. I came from the east. Shit over there's just as terrible as here," you scoffed.

"Out west, we hear it's back east. Back east, they hear it's out west. It's all just nonsense," Tal shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road, "You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of year."

"There are no penguins on the North Pole," Columbus corrected.

Tal turned, "You wanna feel how hard I can punch?"

You snickered, but hid it by turning to the window, deciding to zone out the conversation.

Until you missed a key shift.

"Wait, the last time I laid some pipe?" A sentence stuck out.

You were listening now.

"Last time you went twenty toes, put Percy in the playpen?" Tal tried to clarify.

"Who's Percy?" Columbus asked.

"Wallpapered the closet? Passed the gravy? Went heels to Jesus?"

"He can't understand you, hill-billy," you rolled your eyes.

"Oh, made love," the boy suddenly realized.

You and Tal winced at his...oddly intimate wording, "Well, just sex."

"It was three weeks ago. In the back of an abandoned FedEx truck," he caved.

"Shut up," Tal gasped in disbelief.

"I, uh, I was headed east. She was headed west. And we took shelter in the back of the truck. It was full of undelivered packages."

"What was her name?" You cocked a brow, skeptical.

"Uh...Beverly. Beverly Hills," he quickly scrambled.

"You dog," Tal nodded, proudly.

"Yeah, right," you shook your head.

"Why don't you tell us the last time you got fucked, Sunshine?" Tal asked, purposefully being blunt to embarrass you.

You glowed red, but quickly tried to play it off.

"I-." "Aye, aye, aye," he suddenly interrupted you, his attention turned to the she-zombie devouring the poor bastard in the middle of the road.

'Oh thankGod.'

It would've been embarrassing to admit you hadn't had sex since before the outbreak, especially after how much you were ragging on Columbus.

"Oh my God," Columbus grimaced, "You know, it makes you sad, it makes you...it makes you think if you can go back to the way things were right now...y'know you'd be out in the backyard, y'know, trying to catch fireflies. And instead...this."

"It makes you-." "Hungry," Tal admitted.

"Read my mind," you agreed, wishing you'd packed more Sno Balls.

"I'm worried about you two," Columbus sighed.

"Look, whatever you have waiting for you in Columbus, I promise you it ain't prettier than our friend here enjoying her Manwich," Tal explained, stepping on the gas.

Just as he drove past her, he kicked out his door, hitting her square in the head, knocking her over with a laugh.

"You're fucked," you chuckled, watching her roll like a tumbleweed in the rear-view.

"Hey, these fuckers destroyed the world. I'm allowed to have a lil' fun with 'em."

𝒛 𝒐 𝒎 𝒃 𝒊 𝒆 𝒍 𝒂 𝒏 𝒅

#tallahassee x reader #tallahassee #zombieland #zombieland x reader #@novamariestark

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