#tattoo artist harry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonchildstyles · 2 months

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have you thought about revisiting that anon concept about asterry and his girlfriend watching p*rn? I'm asking for a friend hehe

wordcount: 9.8k+

—————

(Y/N) blinked, staying silent as she took in the conversation around her. This was definitely not the avenue she saw the night taking when Charlotte had opened the second bottle of wine between the few of them.

"I asked him if he still watched it a lot, like as much as he did before we started dating, but he wouldn't really say no," Emily shared before taking a pull from her wine glass, "He didn't say yes, but all he said was that its different now, don't worry. What is that even supposed to mean? Like, do you watch porn when I go to sleep, yes or no?"

Charlotte and Sarah both laughed, joining Emily as she smiled around the rim of her wine glass. (Y/N) wanted to laugh along, but she was honestly still a bit thrown off by the topic.

Truthfully, she didn't know really much about anything that had to do with... pornography. The closest she had were the scenes some of her romantic novels had, and movies that had her adverting her eyes.

Not only was the act of sex demonized growing up—especially before marriage—but anything else that had to do with it. There was no way she was going to risk doing any of her own research should her parents' close monitoring catch even a stray google search.

After getting out from under their thumb, she didn't have much desire to go looking on that corner of the internet—she had done fine enough up to this point, she figured. Then, of course, she met Harry and there really seemed to be no need for any kind of video when she had him in the flesh.

(Y/N) honestly wondered if she had ever even spoken the word porn aloud, let alone discussed it with anyone else. This conversation was especially jarring given all of the giggling and the unfiltered language.

"Em," Charlotte piped up, bringing her wine glass to her mouth to cover the wry grin growing on her face, "Have you ever tried watching it with him, though?"

Feeling her cheeks warming, (Y/N) practically sunk into her skin as if to hide from the conversation. Sarah had mimicked her surprise some, though she was decidedly less shocked into silence.

"Charlotte!" Sarah bubbled, dark brows raised, "Is that what you do?"

Another peal of laughter came from the wine-soaked group, though (Y/N)'s reaction was more to fit in with the theatrics. (When it came to topics like these, she didn't want to be quiet even if she wasn't necessarily talkative—being too silent left people wondering if she was uninterested, judging them, and invited questions she wasn't looking to answer).

She had always figured the viewing of those kinds of videos to be something that was done alone. She couldn't fathom anyone joining in and watching alongside what should be a particularly intimate moment. (Besides, if you had someone to watch them with, why watch them at all when you could be with that person?).

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, opening her mouth before closing it. Emily nudged her at her side, a mischievous smile on her face.

"C'mon, spit it out."

Finally, Charlotte threw her hands up in surrender. "It's honestly not that bad, and I think you should try it."

"So, you have done it!" Sarah called, bouncing in her spot on the couch, "With Elijah or?"

"With Elijah, yeah," she settled, the wine getting to her tongue as she didn't mind sharing more details, "I walked in on him one time, and I wanted to be grossed out, but I just wasn't. It ended up working out, and now it's just a thing sometimes."

Charlotte's ending shrug before taking down a gulp of wine showed the end of her story, though Emily still nudged her as if there was more she could shake out.

"I don't know if I could do that," Sarah admitted, crossing her legs underneath herself, "I think it would annoy me too much, that Mitch was watching a video like that when he could have just called me or something."

(Y/N) rolled her lips between her teeth as the conversation then changed, some debate on if videos like that were allowed in relationships.

She didn't know what she would do if she walked in on Harry watching something like that. While she couldn't really deny that she enjoyed the sight of him playing with himself (something she's shyly learned every time Harry passed his fist over himself before sinking into one of her holes), she wasn't sure what she would think about the inspiration behind the act. There was a part of her that would be offended, she thought, that she was right there and he picked a video over the real thing. Another part of her understood that maybe he wouldn't want to have sex right then, instead opting to take care of himself before moving on. Besides, it wasn't like he had photos of her to look at in the heat of the moment, so she figured she would have to understand.

There was no use in being jealous of girls in movies anyway. Even if it did kind of hurt her stomach thinking about Harry reacting to them the same way he did to her.

Around her the conversation had floated elsewhere leaving behind the illicit subject matter for something lighter (a movie Emily had gone to the theater to hate watch only to end up liking it some, and now she was questioning her taste level). She was able to plug into this one much better, that much was evident in the way Sarah had quit giving her small glances as if she knew that (Y/N)'s comfort was twisting.

Despite now adding her own takes to the conversation and actively engaging outside of a few well placed laughs and head nods, the back of her mind was lagging behind.

There were questions rattling around that she was sure she wasn't going to be able to keep completely under wraps the next time she saw Harry.

—————

(Y/N) watched as Harry climbed into bed beside her, comforter pulled up to her chin as she sunk into the warm mattress. He gave her a lopsided smile when he caught her following gaze, her skin warming as she averted her eyes.

Cuddling in beside her, Harry pulled her close with an arm around her waist, his ankle hooking around hers. She could feel his eyes on her, but when she didn't immediately match his gaze she heard a plume of laughter fall from him,

"Why won't y'look at me, love?" he smiled, reaching his hand on her waist through the duvet to brush her hair out of her face.

She shyly kept her eyes on the column of his tattooed throat, following the thorny roses. "You caught me."

(Y/N) could feel the fan of his laughter as much as she heard it. His hand settled on her cheek then, his fingertips venturing into the baby hairs bordering her hairline. "Yeah, but y'catch me looking at you all the time," he countered, "Jus' lets me know y'like what y'see."

Using his hand on her cheek, he angled her face towards him once more, forcing her eyes to meet his own. A small smile graced his features, his eyes light with amusement. Tipping his chin just right, he pressed his lips to hers in a delicate kiss.

When he pulled away his smile had grown, dimples now touching his cheeks as he ran the pad of his thumb over the height of her cheekbone. "Did you have fun tonight, baby?"

Their dinner date splashed through her head, along with all of the warm feelings she went through while under the dimmed lights. They swapped bites of food, shared a cocktail (Y/N) really wanted to try but was worried it would be too strong, and Harry pulled out any joke he could in hopes of hearing her bubbling laughter through the restaurant.

Nodding her head against the pillow, her own smile took her features, leaving her cheeks mushed between Harry's hand and the soft of her pillow. "A lot of fun. Thank you for taking me."

His hand slipped down the slope of her form, settling on the sup of her waist before he gave a gentle squeeze. When (Y/N) reacted with a bubble of laughter, Harry's eyes swam with adoration.

"I had fun too, baby," he crooned, "Thank you for coming with me."

With the low lights and the gentle way he spoke to her, (Y/N) felt like she was supposed to be tired. It was kind of her thing, anyway—being sleepy and decidedly ready to pass out whenever. But, that just didn't seem to be the case tonight, her head was too full.

When she had come to his place after class, Harry greeting her at the door, there was a pinging question in the back of her mind that made an abrupt return from the previous night. As much as she wanted to blurt it out, get the curiosity out of the way, it didn't feel entirely appropriate to ask her boyfriend about his porn habits just after walking through the door. That much was made even more apparent given the fact that Mitch greeted her a few minutes later, trekking from his room to the kitchen with a small wave. Then, Harry had told her he had plans to take her out to dinner that night, and there was no way she was asking such a question in the middle of a restaurant.

There was never good time it seemed, to sate her curiosity and learn her own perspective on what her friends had been talking about. No time better than right now, anyway.

She just had to find some kind of courage to go along with the timing.

Shuffling closer, the sheets shifting around them, Harry pressed a small kiss to her forehead, right over a crease she hadn't realized was scrunching the skin. "What's going on in here?" he cooed, "You're thinking too hard before bedtime, love."

"I just—" she bubbled off before stopping her tongue. She swallowed, a pinch appearing between her brows. "There was something... I don't know."

There were no words that felt comfortable in her mouth, nothing that she could feasibly hear herself saying when it came to the questions she had. (Honestly, she couldn't understand how she was able to utter some of the things she did for Harry between the sheets and now shy away over pornography).

His hand on her waist was a stern anchor, the grip just tight enough to remind her that he was there. "'S alright, y'can tell me. What is it?"

Gone was the amusement and the soft teasing he had offered up to her before, instead his voice growing soft and forgiving. Patience now settled in his eyes as he waited on her.

Dropping her own gaze to dance around his features, she distracted herself with the spray of fine freckles on his nose. "The girls last night, they said something that I've just been... thinking about I guess."

The warmth of his gaze traced over her own features. "What was it? It wasn't anything rude, right?"

"No, no, no," (Y/N) rushed out, matching his gaze to show her sincerity. All of those girls were her friends, and Sarah would also never let anything like that happen around her. "It was—I don't know, it feels weird to say it."

Harry's expression relaxed now that he knew he wasn't there to be nursing any wounds. "We've said a lot of weird stuff to one another, baby. I think I can handle it."

She couldn't look him in the eye when she tried to speak again, instead dropping back to the tattooed skin of his neck. Her hands between them reached to take his shirt between her fingers, the faded graphic on the material distracting her just enough.

"They were talking about porn." Her heartbeat sounded in her ears. "With their boyfriends."

There was a pause, though (Y/N) could feel his unwavering eyes on her face.

"Okay," he finally shared, the syllable slow as it dropped from his tongue, "That's what's been on your mind?"

Folding her bottom lip between her teeth, she tried to find the next set of words that made sense. "I-I have questions. I think."

Harry's expression broke into a soft smile she could hear through the delicate huff of laughter he let out. "You think?"

Peeking up at him through her lashes, she saw his eyes bare of liner, the planes of his face relaxed and rounded, and his hair pushed away from his face leaving it all on display. He didn't look at all bothered by her avenue of conversation, leaving him to be the always open book he was for her, willing and ready to answer anything she needed.

"Yeah," she said, settling into her skin some, "I knew what they were talking about, but I don't think I really understand it all. I thought I could ask you, if it wasn't weird."

"Never weird, love," Harry shared, "You know 'm always here to answer anything y'need help with."

(Y/N) blinked, tipping her chin in a short nod. "Okay, but if there's anything you don't want to answer, you don't have to."

"'M sure I can answer ever—"

"Do you watch porn?"

Practically cringing at the sound of her voice wrapped around that question and the fact she spoke it aloud right to Harry, (Y/N) wanted to curl up in hopes of disappearing.

"Sorry," she started, her voice barely a peep, "I didn't mean to cut you off."

Harry looked at her for a lingering moment, his brows raised high over his eyes before he melted some. An amused smile sat on his lips, a small puff of laughter exhaling from his lungs. "'S alright," he offered, his hand on her waist squeezing just enough, "Not what I was expecting, but 's okay.

"To answer your question," he drawled, "No, I don't—not since you, really. No need to when I've got my own pretty star, huh?"

His lips molded into a teasing smile, but lopsided as he pressed forward hoping to catch a small grin from her.

Keeping her shy gaze dropped, (Y/N) couldn't keep her lips from curling. There was a bit of pride from the flattery; he didn't need any videos when he had her instead. She was enough to satisfy him, and that was a nice thought even if it was a bit in the gutter.

Spotting her shy smile, Harry let out a plume of laughter before he dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose. Knowing him, he probably already knew what was going on in her head, even if she didn't say it aloud.

"Is that all y'wanted to know, my love?"

Her fingers in his shirt curled just a bit more, as if she were bracing herself for this next string. "One of the girls, she said something about her and her boyfriend... watching it together," (Y/N) prattled, her voice growing smaller the more she went on, "Is that normal?"

Harry lagged in his response, taking his time with his fingers fiddling with a pulsing pattern on her waist. "It can be," he offered, "but, 's not for everyone. I've never really talked about that with anyone, but I would imagine it could make people feel closer—sharing something that's usually only done by yourself."

(Y/N) silently nodded her head, taking in his offered information. Truthfully, she wanted to stall, find another inconsequential question to stall him before she was left with the last curiosity she'd had burning in the back of her head.

The avenue she landed on was barely any less humiliating, but it was easy to fall from her tongue than the other she'd had on deck. She still couldn't meet his eyes as she spoke, bubbling off the question before she could second guess herself.

"Is that something you would want to try? Like, watching it together and all."

Skating his hand over the curves of her form, Harry tipped her chin up. Their eyes matching, (Y/N) could see the way he scanned over her features the way he always did when he was attempting to decipher where she was coming from. The lines of his features were softened, rounding into soft curves and gentling the longer her gazed at her.

"Is that something you want to try?"

Flounder under his pressing, (Y/N) understood what he was going for—she was too shy to explicitly voice all of her wants, so he had to fill in the gaps at times—but was still taken aback none the less. Of course the thought had crossed her mind since the previous night, about what it would be like to sit with Harry and watch a different kind of movie than she usually watched with him, but the idea wasn't exactly the most compelling.

She wasn't sure if she could really handle watching him watch someone else, and potentially become more turned on than he had even been with her. Nonetheless, she had never actually watched any porn herself, and she wasn't sure if she really had any real inclination to change that.

But, there was something to be said about the way Harry had described the act: sharing someone to vulnerable, that is usually kept private, with someone you trust. He had a way of making these scenes sound much more romantic than the semantics did.

"I don't know," she settled on, aware of the intensity in his eyes as he watched her, "I've never really watched anything like that, so I don't think I really understand what that would mean."

Almost imperceptible, (Y/N) was able to catch the way his brows raised just enough. "Really?"

Tipping her head in an almost shrug between the sheets, (Y/N) pursed her lips. "It was one of those things, you know."

That was enough of an explanation to Harry; he knew her growing years and the drilled in obedience that followed her even after leaving home. Despite curiosity, there was no way she would have had the confidence to even make a search, that he knew.

A small curve settled on his lips, patience and understanding sitting in his eyes. "Guess that makes sense then, hm?"

"Just add it to the list," (Y/N) joked back, a small huff of laughter falling from her lips.

His hand on her jawline that he had used to tip her face towards him now angled itself towards the curve of her throat. His palm was warm and agnate over her skin, the pad of his thumb stretching to rest on the hinge of her jaw. "Is it something you want to know more about?"

"Kind of," she answered honestly, sinking into the fluff of the pillow under her head, "But...Really, I think I only care about what y-you like and all of that."

It was one of the harder admissions, (Y/N) feeling as if she were asking a bit too much into his personal thoughts. If he wanted to share that part of himself, he would have already, she figured.

The warmth of his thumb on her cheek expanded as he pet a small trail down to the line of her jaw. "I don't really watch it anymore, love, remember?"

"Yeah, but," she started, resisting the urge to pin her bottom lip between her teeth, "What about before?"

When Harry paused, (Y/N)'s fingers in her shirt pulsed in an anxious curl.

"But, you don't have to answer if you don't want to," she quickly attempted to recover, replaying her words and just how pushy they may have come off.

The amused laughter that fell from his lips was enough to reassure her that she hadn't bothered him too much. "'S alright, baby," he murmured, "I was jus' thinking."

When he didn't immediately offer any extra information, she couldn't help herself—her curiosity was so close to gaining all the answers she needed, she didn't want it to stop now.

"About what?" she mumbled, watching intently as he just kept thinking.

Only one side of his mouth curled upwards, his smile going lopsided. "If I should tell you, or show you."

Now, (Y/N) had no choice but to fall silent around her dry throat. Show her?

Harry let out a small laugh at her reaction, unable to hold himself back before he was pressing a gentle kiss to the bridge of her nose between her wide eyes.

"I take it that I should probably jus' tell you, huh?" he joked, pulling away with a brilliant smile on his lips to match the bright lilypad of his irises.

Swallowing around her dry throat, (Y/N) spoke up, "Y-You could show me. If you think that would be easier."

Though the request itself wasn't made with much confidence, she still was surprised it even made its way out of her mouth. Two birds with one stone, she figured, she'd finally see what it—porn—was all about, and learn something new about Harry.

That was what she was telling herself anyway.

Raising a single brow over his intense gaze, Harry took in her reaction. "We could do that," he mused, "But, I don't want to do that if it would make y'uncomfortable, love. It can be a bit... much, especially if you have nothing to compare it to."

Rolling her lips between her teeth, she allowed her gaze to trace along the line of the single stray curl that rested against his temple. "I think I can handle it," she told him, her voice small as she avoided his eyes.

Shifting his hand on her neck, Harry brought his palm to rest on her cheek. The pad of his thumb ran along the fragile skin under her eyes. "You are brave, aren't you."

"I try," she murmured, shy smile evident in her voice.

She could practically see the gears turning in Harry's head, his eyes flashing with just a glint of something she couldn't name. She was hyper aware of his hand once again gliding over her skin until he was carding his fingers through her hair to rest his palm on the back of her head. She matched her gaze to his bashfully.

"Are you tired, or do y'think y'can stay up a little while longer with me?"

With a flutter of her lashes, and her heart mimicking the act, (Y/N) tugged herself that much closer to him between the sheets.

"I can stay awake." His lips turned into a lopsided smile, a single dimple denting his cheek as he gazed at her. (Y/N) could only tip her chin just so when he surged forward, pressing their lips together in a warming kiss. While it was chaste, there was an urgency behind it that she could feel before he pulled away.

"Lay the other way for me, baby," he instructed with a jerk of his chin, "I need to grab m'phone." When (Y/N) didn't immediately turn to press her back to his chest, Harry lagged, keeping from reaching for his phone on the bedside. "What's wrong, hm?"

"I don't get to see you?" (Y/N) murmured, barely keeping the whine out of her voice. She preferred seeing his eyes over everything else, knowing that it was him that was touching her.

A soft hum of laughter fell from his lips. "'S just gonna be a little bit easier this way, love, that's all. I'll still be right here."

"'Kay," she answered, though she didn't follow his instruction until he pressed another kiss to her puckered lips.

With that, Harry reached to the bedside table where his phone was resting while (Y/N) twisted in the sheets to lay on her side with her back to his chest. The duvet folded, leaving her arm and back exposed to the chill while Harry took longer than a few moments to do whatever it is he was doing on his phone.

She could hear the faint taps of his finger against the screen, scrolling and typing before he eventually curled around her. Harry conformed to the shape of her, his sweatpants-clad legs tangling with her bare ones with his arm hooking around her waist to position his phone before the two of them. He shifted the pillow under his head until she could feel the plume of his breath grazing the column of her throat, warm though it still elicited goosebumps to erupt over her skin.

(Y/N) could feel her heart bubbling in her chest when she dared to peek at what was on his bright screen. Though there was nothing explicit or exposing on the screen, she was sure they weren't too far off with the dark color scheme of the site he had brought up.

"Are you sure, love?" he murmured, his lips close to her ear, "We don't have to do this if y'don't want to. It can be a lot right away, and I don't want to scare you."

Folding her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) allowed his words to roll around her head. She wasn't completely naive—she could imagine what the videos would look like, though she doubted it would look or feel the same as it did when she was underneath Harry. But, his earlier definition still stuck with her: this was a small vulnerability he was sharing with her. This is something he would normally have kept so private, but he was willing to bring her in and share something so different with her.

She could be brave—she could keep her curiosity burning enough to keep from feeling any kind of anxiety.

"I'm sure," she mumbled, "Thank you."

Dropping a kiss to her shoulder, Harry hugged her to his chest for a lingering moment. "You tell me if y'change your mind, darling."

"I will," she assured, despite his words being more of a statement than request.

Reaching over her, Harry grabbed for his phone and began tapping at the screen. The brightness had lowered from disuse, but was brought back to life from his touch, leaving every frame illuminated once more. Snuggled against his back, (Y/N) watched, her eyes widened once the reality of the site was scrolled through.

There was already a video pulled up on screen, showing what exactly took him so long to tap through his phone before. (Y/N) blinked, trying to decipher what was in the thumbnail before her.

From the small snippet she could see—along with the attention grabbing, all caps title—this was a loving couple having morning sex on a Saturday to the sunrise. Very romantic and loving, supposedly. In the picture, she could see the beginnings of a sunrise through a conveniently, perfectly lit bedroom. There were gauzy drapes over their open windows and pristine white linens on their bed—even the creases and folds were artfully tufted around their bodies. (Y/N) couldn't be sure if they were just that perfect, or this was an expertly produced video. She couldn't tell the difference.

The pair was barely clothed, their faces cut out of frame, leaving their bodies to be the star of the show. The man had tattoos—no where near as many as Harry, but still quite an array. He was undressed down his briefs, where there was a bulge that could be clearly seen against the woman's stomach. She was made of smooth swathes of skin, the ends of her hair visible as it brushed her bare skin before disappearing out of frame, and her chest bare. All (Y/N) could see that was distinctive about her form, was a small tattoo on her thigh in the shape of a red heart outline, contrasting against the white cotton panties sitting on her hips. Their limbs were in a tangle with one another, legs crossed and arms holding one another.

From behind, she could feel the brush of Harry's lips against her throat. "Does this look okay?"

(Y/N) gave her approval in a small nod of her head, her hair brushing against her pillow. "Have you watched this before?"

She could hear the curl of his lips in his voice as his words swept across the back of her neck. "A few times, yeah."

As he spoke, Harry's thumb tapped on the video, pressing play and starting it up. She watched as the frames took over the screen, showing the humble beginnings of the film with the woman crawling over the bedsheets to reach her lover where he was laid back against the pillows. The soft sound of their lips meeting could be heard off screen.

"W-When?" she asked, her line of questioning a safe distraction from what was going on in front of her.

The soft sounds of their mouths coming together and parting filtered quietly from his phone. Were they that loud when they kissed too?

"Not for a while," he reminded her, though his voice dropped lower into a whisper just for her when he spoke again, "Watched it for the first time after that night in my office at the shop though, I remember that."

"You do?" Her skin warmed at the reminder of that first night—all of the things she learned that night while sprawled out on that couch.

On video, the man had gripped the woman's hips and settled her atop him from the position she had previously held on all fours. The length of their bodies were pressed together, their faces still just perfectly out of frame to keep everything anonymous. Their kissing had turned rougher, a bit noisier as they sunk into one another. The sun outside their window was casting luminous glares over the scene, giving buttery warmth to their escalating acts.

Harry's hand on her waist squeezed as he watched. "Yeah," Harry breathed, a heavy kiss landing on the back of her neck, "I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I saw this video and... she kind of looks like you, doesn't she?"

(Y/N)'s breath caught in her throat. There was a moment as the woman moved, her body on display against the heavy tattoos of her partner that had her seeing them in just the right light.

Cotton panties, bare skin, delicate tattoo, all wrapped in white with the slow sharing of kisses between she and her lover. (Y/N) could see herself in that.

It was an exhilarating feeling knowing that Harry saw someone so effortlessly sexy, and could see (Y/N) in them.

She pressed herself against him that much more, her back against his chest. His hand on her waist tightened, as if preparing to keep her just where she was should someone try to steal her away. She could feel the fan of his breath fluttering over her skin as she watched his phone.

The acts between the couple escalated until the camera caught the way the woman ran her hand down the man's body until she had reached his cock. Her palm was pressed against the bulge, rubbing against it through the fabric of his underwear. He moaned unabashedly off screen, whispering something for only his lover to hear. (Y/N)'s lungs squeezed when she saw the way the dots of wetness seeped over the grey underwear covering him.

"Wh-What else do you like about this video?" (Y/N) murmured, shifting so her hand was laid over his own on her waist, their fingers tangling together.

A breathy laugh could be heard from behind her. Harry's voice was just as low as he spoke, "Do y'really want me to talk through the whole thing?"

"I like hearing you more," she admitted, squeezing his hand in hers.

A delicate kiss was dropped to her shoulder, the curl of his smile evident in the small contact. "Well, other than her reminding me of my angel," he drawled, a tease to his tone, "'S different than some of the things I used to watch. I liked seeing something gentle."

(Y/N)'s throat bobbed as she swallowed around her dry throat. Before her, the videoed couple had now moved on to sliding their hands into each other's underwear. The man's face was buried in his lover's neck, showing off a head of dark hair as his moans filtering through the small speakers. The woman's whimpering noises could be heard in tandem with the slick sounds of their hands roaming each other's bodies.

"What was the other stuff you watched?" Absently, (Y/N) was aware of the way her hips shifted some, rubbing her backside against Harry's front. Behind her, against the curve of her bottom, she could feel something much more rigid than the blocks of his muscle beginning to press into her.

He paused before he spoke, mulling over her question while she watched on screen as the few pieces of clothing covering the couple's bodies were shed. Harry's hand on her waist shifted, leaving her own behind as he pressed his palm into the soft of her stomach. She could feel the pressure of his fingertips on her plush skin just as much as she could see the man on screen press against his lover's thigh in the same way.

"'Member m'birthday?" he murmured into her skin, his mouth beginning a blazing trail over her shoulder. The tip of his nose caught on the neck of her top, pulling it along with him as he kissed the cuff of her shoulder.

For a split moment, there was a different movie playing for (Y/N). This one featured she and Harry as the stars, celebrating his birthday between the sheets with his cock sinking into her throat, his palm smacking over her center, and his cum painting over her face. She wondered if he could feel the way her stomach tightened under his hand at the memories.

"Yeah," she answered simply, the word carried on a warm breath.

He hummed from behind her, a smug curl on his lips pressing into her shoulder. "Things like that, baby," he explained, "But I started watching things like this after I met you."

The couple on screen was beginning to find the throes of their passion, now both bare bodied and reaching for one another. There was a part of (Y/N) that wanted to shy away at the sight of two strangers and their naked bodies, their recording of an intimate moment not sitting right in her stomach. There was another part of her that imagined Harry sitting down, pants to his thighs and his hand in his lap, picturing she and him in these spots instead as he fisted his cock. That part of her kept her from drawing her eyes away, urging her to see what he did—see what held his attention while waiting for her to be ready for more than easy touching and kisses in his bedroom.

Her mouth felt dry when she tried to speak again, only to be cut off when Harry's palm grazed the waist of her panties. Though she was still only feeling his touch through her shirt, she was sure he could feel the extra groove of fabric and the tightening of her abdomen. Only that much further, and he could fit his hand between her legs just like the man on screen was doing to his own lover.

"Wh-Why?" she asked, building off of his previous response to keep herself from melting and begging for him to touch her when they had barely just started.

Hooking his ankle around hers, Harry started pulling her that much more into his embrace. The sheets around them hissed over their bodies, his phone wobbling from its upright position against the pillow though it didn't fall. He pushed his thigh between her own, opening up her legs with the hem of her oversized shirt being pushed up and over her thighs.

"I liked the idea of going slow, after I met you, love," he detailed, no longer playing around when he finally slid his hand over her form and slipped it under the end of her top, "Didn't really get off on the thought of fucking you as much as I did to kissing you and making y'happy."

(Y/N) all but melted at his explanation. She reveled in the sound of his voice, mixing with the soft sound of the couple on screen finding their own bliss within one another. Through her hooded gaze, it was easy to see the lovers on his phone as she and Harry, the daydream building around her.

In a tug back down to earth, (Y/N)'s breath caught when Harry fit his hand between her thighs. His wandering touch had finally reached her, pressing the heel of his palm against her clit and the length of his fingers down her center. She was sure he could feel the heat that had collected there, though she hoped she hadn't completely soaked through her underwear that quickly.

"Y'like it so far?" he asked, pressing his palm that much harder against her clit.

"Uh-huh," she breathlessly replied. Her hooded eyes were glued to the sight of the way the man positioned himself above her, thighs open for him to fit between. She could hear him murmur something to her, passing a hand over her form with fingertips skating across her breasts and down to the round of her hips. Every touch was careful and clinging, the sound of their kissing soundtracking the moment. "He reminds me of you."

He hummed from behind her, his hand beginning to shift over her core in a delicate press to draw away her breath. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she answered, eyes stitched to the video as the man sunk his cock into his lover, a shrill whine leaving her lips while he settled against her hips. His tattoos quivered as his muscles flexed under his skin, making the stars and constellations inked over his skin dance. "You're better, but," (Y/N) swallowed, hearing the quiet slap of his skin against the woman's as he thrusted against her, "He touches her like you touch me."

Harry's response came in the form of languid touches that warmed her skin and kept her breathless even when her eyes closed and the video was an afterthought. Underneath her, he fit his free arm to coil around her form. His thigh between her two tensed, lifting just enough so he could spread her own legs enough to give her what she wanted.

Hooking his fingers into her panties, he pulled them to the side, a cool shiver going up (Y/N)'s spine now that she was exposed to his touch. He dragged his fingertips through her slit, collecting the drops of slick until he circled around her clit in languorous pulls.

She had never been so thankful for the stretched out neckline of her top as she was then, when she felt Harry's heavy kisses searing into her bare skin. There was so much of him all over, pressing into her back with his cock hard against her, his kiss on her shoulder, and his hand on her core, pulling more and more air out of her lungs.

"You know how many times I thought about doing that to you, baby?" he drawled into her skin, syrupy and thick into her pores, "Before y'were ready, this was all I had. Had to picture you letting me spread you out like that, feel how wet you were jus' for me."

With his hand between her thighs, slick fingertips on her clit before they traveled down towards her pulsing opening, she could have cried for him. She had been depriving him of this, leaving him to only watch videos and imagine, when they could have been doing this so much sooner. She wasn't sure at times—especially at one like this—how she had even made it through without his touch.

"I'm sorry," she stuttered out for him, her hand grasping at sheets, "Yo-You should have told me."

A rumble of laughter was felt against her back as much as she heard the sound fan to her ears. "Don't be sorry, lovebug, y'jus' weren't ready yet, that's all. I think we're making up for it jus' fine, don't you?"

She could only nod her head, forcing her eyes to blink open. It was a task given the fact that she was still luxuriating in the tease of his fingers passing over her entrance before smearing her clit and restarting the circuit. Looking ahead, she had seen that the couple on film was thick in their session, breathless, the man straining himself as he set a controlled pace while thrusting into his partner with the woman grasping and reaching for any part of him she could reach. Watching the way the man's skin turned pink in the wake of her nails made (Y/N) want to do the same to Harry—what would the roses on his chest and the butterfly on his torso look like filled in with a bit of color?

"I want to see you," she blurted out, unable to hold back anymore. She didn't care much for the movie anymore anyway, he was what she wanted. This video would probably still be there later, they could explore more later, if she really wanted.

A teasing smile could be heard in his voice, the notion making (Y/N) want to feel embarrassed through she didn't have much room for that given the way she was rutting into his hand. "Y'don't want to keep watching? I thought y'liked it, love? Liked him?"

"I like you," she countered, already turning in his arms despite the coil of his hold around her, "I want to see you now. You're better."

He didn't put up any more teasing argument, instead helping her as she twisted and turned in his arms until his phone was forgotten in the tufts of the duvet and she had her lips pressed to his. His and that had been between her legs was now stationed at her hip, his fingertips denting into the plush skin as she melted into him. A sigh of something that felt like relief to (Y/N) slipped from her throat.

Harry parted his lips, swiping his tongue across the seam of her mouth, tasting her noises. Reaching for his bare shoulders, (Y/N) wasn't even thinking before she had the blunt of her nails pressing to his skin, just like the woman in the video. (Who must have been having a good time given the faint noises (Y/N) could still hear among the folds of their bedding).

She readily opened her mouth for him to slip his tongue inside, eager to get a state of him. He led her through the kiss, pressing his tongue to hers and tasting through every delicate moan and breathy exhale she gave.

This was definitely better than watching a video.

"Harry," she mumbled into his kiss, barely enunciating before she was urging to press her lips to his once more.

He smiled against her mouth, allowing a small slew of her excited kisses to hit him before he pulled away enough to meet her eyes. His pupils were wide and dark, leaving only slices of murky green to ring around them. There was a flush over his cheeks, warm and red that matched the hue of his kiss-swollen lips. She couldn't help her eyes but to follow the tip of his tongue as it peeked out to wet his lips.

"What do y'want from me love?"

Her answer was automatic: "You."

(Y/N)'s gaze was drawn to the dimple that was thumbed into his cheek as a lopsided curl took his lips. "I know," he said, much too smug, "But do y'want me to keep touching you? Or do y'want more, love? Gotta tell me or I can't help you."

Her mind flashed to the vision of the man fitting his hips against his lover's like a puzzle piece, sinking inside her and straining his muscles to making the best pace for her. That was what (Y/N) wanted.

"I want more," she told him, her voice a whisper between just the two of them, "Like the video."

Harry drew closer towards he, his smile fading as the blunt of his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. "I can do that for you, baby. Do you think you're ready for me, or do y'need a little more?"

She shook her head on instinct. "I'm ready."

Tipping his chin, Harry pulled her into another languid kiss with his tongue touching over her lips. His kiss was a welcome distraction while his hand reached for the waist of her panties underneath the hem of her top. He pushed them down her thighs as far as he could before he was forced to break their kiss to help ease them off the rest of the way. (Y/N) felt clingy for him in that moment, already missing his touch and warmth. It wasn't much longer that he pulled his own underwear off, everything landing into a pile on the floor, before he was laying himself atop her.

Much like the movie, she swore their hips fit like puzzle pieces together, the bones cushioned by plush skin. She reached for his arms reflexively, though she hadn't meant to grip him so tightly until she felt the head of his cock nudge against her clit. Her lungs squeezed with a coiled ribbon cinching around her stomach.

Above her, Harry was like an angel. His eyes were bare from his usual liner, though there were still the stark black additions of his nose and lip rings pierced through his face. His skin was flushed and warm, cheeks matching his bright eyes. Around his features, his curls hung around in waved strands and curled ringlets. It wasn't the first time she had seen him like this and wondered if he was the true angel between the two.

"Still feel good, love?" he asked, his hands fisted into anchors on either side of her head.

Matching the intensity of his eye contact, (Y/N) kept herself from shrugging her hips against his own, wanting of feel along heavy brush of his cock against her center. "Uh-huh," she sounded, throat dry, "Please."

Only a glimpse of his smile could be seen before he was dipping down to draw her in for another kiss. He sealed his mouth to hers, kissing her top lip delicately with the soft sounds of their lips parting and coming together to fill the room.

For a moment, (Y/N) wondered if they would look like that couple if they were on film. If their love, and the gentle touches, and the shared heartspace could be seen just as easily. She liked to think they would do it even better.

One of his hands on the bed disappeared, the mattress shifting without the weight, before she felt it again over the small of her stomach. It was nothing more than a soft brush before he had his fist wrapped around his cock, guiding himself inside her. The head brushed against her clit in a heavy press; she couldn't tell if she was more wet than she thought or if he had been pearling dots of precum from his tip while she was preoccupied.

He slid his tip through her folds until he hit the pulsing entrance nestled inside. (Y/N) shivered, letting out small noise into his mouth. She could tell her was becoming distracted, his kiss slowing until he was doing nothing other than focusing on the slid of his cock through her wetness, socking in her until he finally pressed forward.

It was a familiar stretch, the head fitting inside her, but it still took her breath away. Especially now that their box of condoms was pushed to the back of his bedside drawer, barely used unless she asked, she was able to feel every ridge and vein on his cock. She felt more and more full with every inch pushed inside her, her walls pulling him in while she attempted to keep kissing him before giving up on the act in favor of simply resting her parted lips against his own.

Harry's guiding hand had shifted to lay on her hip, his touch a bit slick though neither of them minded. He was just as lost in the feeling as he was with the way he let out shuddering breaths with stilted lungs, his hand on the other side of her head now holding a tremor. His breath came out in warm fans over her features, heating her that much further.

He bottomed out with a wet sound of his cock sliding through her walls, his base resting heavy against her clit. (Y/N)'s hold on his arms tightened at the feeling, nails leaving imprints on his skin.

Her heartbeat bubbled in her ears as she got her bearings, coming to with a flutter of her eyes only to see harry already looking at her with his own hooded gaze.

"You alright?" he breathed, dilated eyes scanning over her features, "Do y'need me to wait?"

"No, no," she bubbled off, "Please, daddy."

That was all he seemingly needed to hear—the whine of her voice and his title so lovingly mentioned—before Harry was rearing his hips back and pressing into her once more. He split her open, her walls stretching and opening for him to fit inside with every languid thrust. The first few took her breath away, getting used to the feeling of the friction and every part of her body being fulfilled by him.

"Daddy," she helplessly called out, her voice a shared secret for just the two of them. The sheets hissed around them, matching her volume.

Harry watched her form above as she struggled to keep her eyes from closing. She wanted to see him; this is what she had been wanting when she decided to ditch the movie. She wanted to watch him the way they had watched the couple.

"'M here, baby. 'M here," he murmured, his voice dropping low as his mouth fell into a gape. "Feel so good, love—fuck."

Spurred on by his praise, (Y/N) hiked her this over his hip, the heel of her foot pressing into the back of his thigh. Her plush skin gave way to the angles of his body, cushioning him as he drove his hips into hers in lingering passes. His hand on her hip shifted then, dragging her sleep shirt the rest of the way up until her bare breasts were exposed to the heat of the room.

His palm dragged over the swell, her nipple catching on the creases of his skin. Goosebumps erupted over her form, her lashes fluttering at the touch. Harry dipped his head down, pressing his lips to her other breast, the tip of his nose skimming across before he wrapped his mouth around her nipple. His tongue touched over the bud, warming her though she could feel the skin tightening in response. He matched the pace of his wandering touch on her other breast, allowing her to feel him in every place she needed.

Almost.

Feeling the base of his cock press against her clit wasn't enough. She needed more than that fleeting touch against her, more than just the harsh smear over her weeping center.

"Daddy, I—" she cried out, her words evaporating when she felt him twitch inside her.

"'S okay," he shushed her, his mouth popping off of her nipple before he dragged his kisses towards her collarbone, "'M here, baby. I'll give y'anything y'want."

His words were nothing more than smeared rambles, but they sank perfectly into her brain. He was here—he had her. He wasn't a silly video, he was real and she could feel his weight and his touch and even his heartbeat.

"I want—" she stumbled, her words failing her in the heat of the moment, "I need—Please, touch me."

"I am touching you, baby," he countered, looking up at her through his lashes before finally leveling his gaze with hers. He hovered above her, his eyes still finding hers even as he jostled her with every thrust into her. "Y'need to tell me what y'want, and then I can help."

"My—It's—"

(Y/N) almost felt panicked, instead reaching for his hand on her breast to push it down to the apex of her thighs. His wrist strained under her hand when he realized when she was directing him towards. That was all the cue he needed before his thumb was smearing over her clit, circling and patting the bud just as she had wanted.

All but melting into the mattress, the beginnings of a cocky curl fell on his lips. "This was what y'wanted, my love? Coulda jus' told daddy—would have done it for you earlier."

Maybe it was feeling him splitting her walls open, slick with his precum, his hand on her clit, or the sound of his voice wrapped around his honorific, but (Y/N) could feel the bow in her abdomen tightening.

She could only whine for him, tightening her fingers around the bones of his wrist as he kept his ministrations up. His skin glimmered in a sheen of sweat, baby curls sticking to his temples as he took care of her just as he promised.

He caught her looking, matching his eyes to hers when she dared to travel her gaze to his clumped lashes. She expected a curl of his lips, a flash in his eyes, something teasing and smug to enter his expression. Instead, she saw the way his face rounded out, the harsh angles that usually made him up now fading into soft lines and curved edges.

"I love you," he murmured, "So much, (Y/N). You know that?"

This was a moment she wished she had on video, exactly from her perspective with every detail memorialized.

Releasing her hands on his wrist and arm, she settled her palms on his cheeks. Despite the rocking of their forms, the rustling bedsheets, and his phone lost somewhere at seat, (Y/N) almost forgot about everything but his touch.

"I love you too, honey."

Something flashed through his gaze then, but it was decidedly softer, more delicate than anything she had ever spotted before. She never called him by many pet names, preferring his name (it was the name of the man she was in love with, she couldn't think of a better thing to call him), but there were moments she thought he might like the extra love falling from her lips.

Harry didn't waste any longer than a beat before he was smearing his lips against hers. The kiss was messy and clumsy, just off center with his tongue swiping out before she was ready, but she loved it. This was what she wanted, what had been on her mind throughout the video.

He put more of himself into her, his hips picking up pace and his hand on her clit quickening. She felt the press of his chest every time he sank in deep inside her, splitting her walls and making more room for him than she even knew she had. Her insides clenched around him, sucking him deeper every time he sank back inside. The ribbon in her stomach was beginning to fray at the edges, unravelling more and more.

"B-Baby," Harry breathlessly crooned, pulling away just enough so she could hear, "Where do y'want m'cum? 'M al-almost there—fuck."

She didn't have to think before she was answering him, "Inside, inside. Please, daddy. I want it inside."

There was one more twitch of his cock inside her, his head nudging against what felt like her stomach, before there was nothing left of her to give. The fraying ribbon gave way, spooling too tight inside before falling apart. She shredded around him, feeling like nothing more than glimmering fabric laying in his arms for him to toss and turn whichever way he wanted. She could feel herself grow wetter, Harry's cock slicking through her opening.

(Y/N) clung to him, her hands on his cheeks keeping him close as she attempted to kiss him through her hazy mind. It was nothing more than her gaped mouth dropped open against his own, nothing more than absent calls of his name falling from her throat.

Barely, she could hear Harry mumbling a declaration—that he loved her—over and over against her mouth. She felt entirely too full, everything too much, when she realized he was cumming. Just as she had begged, he let go inside her, painting her walls in pumps of his cum that mixed with her own. She wouldn't be surprised to feel the aftermath dripping over her thighs.

By the time Harry's bedroom came back to fruition around her, (Y/N) wasn't sure if she had been breathing properly since he landed atop her. Everything around her was wispy, not quite real, other than Harry himself. He was a comforting weight, an anchor she clung to.

Sinking atop her, he rested his cheek on top of her chest. His nose skimmed her throat as he nuzzled closer to her, the length of his lashes tickling her bare chest.

"Y'alright, love?" he murmured, just as out of breath as she was.

"Mhm," she hummed, wrapping her arms around him in a clumsy hug, "I love you too, by the way."

A rumbling laugh fell from his chest. "Love you more."

With a small kiss being pressed to her sternum, harry began to untangle himself from her hold. He righted her shirt on her torso, covering her chest and keeping out the call that was beginning to seep over their sweat-glimmered skin now that the sheets had slid off of them.

"Where are you going?" she almost whined, reaching for him when he shifted out from between her cushioning hips.

His smile was tender, affection swimming in his lightening gaze as he looked at her. He brushed a stray hair out of her face, keeping her features clear for his admiration. "We've gotta clean up, love. Can't go to bed like this, can we?"

Fitting her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) didn't want to answer him. He was right—she needed to use the restroom and find a different pair of underwear for the night, while Harry inevitably searched for new sheets to change the bed into. But she didn't want to do that right now. She didn't want to walk around on wobbly legs, and go through her designated drawer, or anything else. She didn't want to touch anything that wasn't him.

Instead, (Y/N) clung to him, using her weight to tug him down until he finally relented. Harry gave in with a sigh though he couldn't keep the smile off of his face.

"Five more minutes, 'kay?" he bargained, cuddling her into him with her face in his throat and chin on the crown of her head. He even tugged the sheet up to blanket their forms once more, keeping her warm before patting her hip through the material.

(Y/N) smiled, pecking a small kiss to his neck.

"Five more minutes."

She'd stretch it until ten.

—————

I finally got around to this request so thank you for everyone bein patient!!!! thank you for reading, sorry for any mistakes and if there's any ideas or requests you have send them in !!!

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jarofstyles · 8 months

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Indigo Masterlist

Harry hates Y/N. She’s sure of it.

Or stone faced tattoo artist!H, a confused Y/N, tattoo shops, nervous rambles, leather sketchbooks, strawberry milkshakes and leather jacket sharing.

Check out our Patreon for early access and exclusives!

Warnings: tattoos, smut (duh), miscommunication, talk of anxiety and bullying, drug usage (weed), alcohol, and tooth rotting fluff

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Divider by firefly-graphics

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reddye23 · 6 months

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#ai pics #mechanic harry #professor harry #boxer harry #tattoo artist harry #ok ai is creepy but also beautiful #october 2023 #credit to the person who made this

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 7 months

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Young American - Part 22**^

Ahhh, it's been a long while since I have posted for this series! I lost a bit of interest and got a little discouraged, but we're back! This will be the second to last chapter of this series!

Series masterlist

Warnings: everything about pregnancy, hand job, graphic descriptions of birth, mentions of being estranged from family, loving/gentle breast groping, arguing, mentions of abusive exes, accusations of infidelity, lying/sneaking around

WC: 16.1K

…. APRIL …

Y/N was 28 weeks along now and Harry hadn’t failed to let her know that the baby was in fact the size of a large aubergine and well, she couldn’t really help the horrified expression on her face as she visualized what the size of a large eggplant actually was. She still had a couple months to go, so she couldn’t even imagine how big the baby actually got. She couldn’t help but feel awful about the baby still having plenty to grow. She had been thinking about how quickly she’d wait to give their son a sibling, but now she was a bit hesitant about it. Despite her nerves, she finished getting ready for their little baby shower/house warming party with family and friends.

Apart from this being the baby shower/house warming party, today was also going to be special because they intended on sharing with Harry’s family that they were indeed going to be naming the baby after Harry’s grandfather. They wanted to do that as privately as possible because they knew it would be something emotional for them. So after their other guests left after their brunch, they would have a dinner with everyone that had been able to make it from his family. Julie had also arrived a few days earlier and well, there was a small surprise in this for her too.

Y/N was having a nice time getting to know more of Harry’s family and friends and of course, bonding even more with the people she’d already met previously. Seeing Harry with his friends was really nice, she hadn’t really gotten to know them yet because she’d been setting up their house and well, she couldn’t drive in England yet (the one time Harry had taken her out for a spin to practice and told her to go right she ended up in the wrong lane and a delivery truck was coming and she panicked and almost crashed into a fence), but also she didn’t just want to drop by the shop randomly when he was working such long sessions, so she’d been alone a lot with Hillary and they’d grown quite close. She felt that spending all this time with her was healing the grief she felt for her own grandmother. Hillary was a lot more talkative and more of a riot than her grandmother had been, she was also a lot more receptive and openminded about a lot of things. Hillary had even expressed to Y/N her interest in getting a tattoo for Charlie, the way he had done for her, and this had Y/N crying over how cute she was. And now that Julie was here she was sure she’d have more company, especially as she got closer and closer to her due date.

“Hey love, you’re out of napkins.” One of Harry’s co-workers came up to her as she preoccupied herself with picking up some of the empty aluminum trays they had on the food table.

“Oh, thanks for telling me! I’ll go grab some.” She smiled and hurried into the house, well hurried as much as she could with a large eggplant-sized baby in her tummy. She set the empty trays down and then opened up a new packet of the napkins to take out. She was just about to head back out when Alyssa came in with a sour look on her face.

“Hey Y/N, sorry to bug you, but have you got any sparkling water?” She asked and Y/N nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” She said and turned to the fridge, “Are you alright?” She asked as she looked inside.

“I suddenly got very queasy.” Alyssa explained and Y/N frowned.

“Ugh, was it the food? I told H we should’ve just left the eggs and sausages inside, it’s a bit warm out.” She explained, “We’ve got lemon and blackberry flavors.”

“Lemon, please.” She said, “But, no the food was alright. I don’t see anyone else having issues.” She said with a smile as Y/N handed her the cold bottle.

“Could you perhaps be…pregnant?” She asked as Alyssa opened up the bottle and upon hearing that she sighed and looked up into her eyes apologetically.

“Ummm, yeah actually, I am.” She confirmed nervously and Y/N’s smile grew wide.

“Oh my god! Congrats! When did you find out?!” She asked happily and Alyssa seemed relieved at her reaction.

“Just a few days ago. I’m about 10 weeks along.” She said with a bright smile and Y/N cooed, “We haven’t told anyone though! We’ve been trying to keep it under wraps a bit since it’s your baby shower week and we didn’t want to steal your thunder with an announcement yet-”

“Oh my god, no! Don’t even worry about that.” Y/N giggled happily, “If you want to share it tonight at dinner with everyone please do! We’ve got some news of our own to share so it’ll be nice to share this with your family while they’re all here.” Y/N assured.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course! This is great news, Aly.” Y/N insisted.

“Oh, thank you so much. I’ve been trying so hard not to talk about it.” She confessed through a laugh and Y/N shook her head as she giggled.

“Oh no, this is such big news! But I promise, it’s not a problem with me and I’m sure Harry won’t mind either.” She assured her and she thanked her again, feeling relieved.

“I’ll let Nathan know, he’s been shooting me tortured looks all morning just from looking at the baby stuff.” She said and Y/N pouted.

“Awww, poor guy. He must be so excited.”

“Yeah, he’s over the moon.” She said with a happy smile, “What’s your news? You’re not having twins are you?” She asked and Y/N’s eyes widened and she shook her head quickly.

“Good God, no!” She laughed and Alyssa burst into laughter as well at her response, “Harry’s got this thing where each week he’ll tell me the size of the baby and like it’s so sweet, he gets really excited about it. But this morning he let me know that baby is the size of a large aubergine and I started to panic.” She confessed and Alyssa looked concerned.

“Isn’t that like birthing size already?” She asked in shock.

“Right?! Like if he’s already that big and I’ve still got 12 freaking weeks to go… I don’t even want to know how big the baby will get after today!” She giggled and Alyssa nodded as well.

“Oh god… well, for selfish reasons I’m really glad we’re pregnant at the same time so that I have someone to gripe about this with.” She said and Y/N nodded through a smile.

“Oh definitely! Also, since my aunt Julie had cancer for several years I’ve got tons of natural remedies to help with nauseas and other weird symptoms you might have if you ever need it. Never in my life have I been more grateful for having to look after her and look into all of this stuff because it’s really helped with the pregnancy.”

“Oh I can imagine… is she alright now, your aunt?”

“Yeah, she’s in remission now.” Y/N smiled as she confirmed that and Alyssa looked relieved.

“That’s really great. I’m happy to hear it.”

“Thank you.” Y/N smiled, “Ummm, but our news is just sharing what we’ve decided to name the baby.” She disclosed softly.

“Oh, what’s it gonna be?” Alyssa asked with curious and excited eyes.

“Ummm, we’re naming him after your grandfather, Charlie, well Charles.” She said and Alyssa’s eyes softened at the news.

“Really?” She asked softly, trying to keep her voice down.

“Yeah. Harry has always talked about him to me and I know they were so close.” she said and Alyssa nodded, “And well, I’ve gotten rather close to your grandmother over the last few months being here and it just seemed like the best thing.” She said with a smile.

“Oh, everyone’s gonna love it! I know Gemma really wanted to name Archie that, but she let Skye pick the first name and she got the middle name and decided to give him Marc after their dad. She’s still a bit annoyed at Skye for naming their son Archibald but…what can we do now?” She giggled and Y/N laughed softly.

“Right…I mean he can always change it when he’s older if he hates it!”

“That’s true…” Alyssa laughed softly. “Look, I know you’re probably sick and tired of hearing the same thing from everyone, but really thank you so much for being patient with Harry and giving him a chance.” She said, “He’s literally the best person I’ve ever known and for a long time we all thought that he would just wither away. Like…we missed him, but it was also good to not have to see him the way he was. And we had also accepted that he would probably never come back from America…” she said and Y/N frowned, “It was really bad, Y/N. The person he is right now, that person didn’t exist for years.” She explained, “I think that’s why we all love you so much, he’s got his spark back.” She explained.

“Yeah, but he’s worked hard on himself too. I’ve believed in him all this time and stayed by his side, but I can’t take credit for the person he’s always been, that’s all him.” She said to Alyssa, “He also helped me a lot, so I think we just…found each other at the right time.”

“Well, whatever it was, we’re just all really grateful for you and we wish you both all the best. S’one of the reasons why we decided to hold off on the news of our baby because H deserves to be celebrated and to have his time, especially when he’s finally living a life with everything he’s ever wanted.”

“Well, I do appreciate your consideration with that, but I promise you he’ll be really excited for you as well.”

“I’m hoping for a boy, so that would work out really well with your baby!” She smiled, “If they’re close in age they’ll be like each other’s siblings. Don’t know if I’ll want to do this again after hearing the aubergine thing.” She confessed and Y/N laughed.

“That was my exact thought this morning!” She admitted.

She had fluttered back outside shortly after her chat with Aly, she was playing hostess and Harry had been really sweet, encouraging her to just sit down and relax, but she just wanted to make sure everything was going perfectly. They did a little gift opening thing and they thanked everyone for showing up and soon they were starting to clean up. She was quite exhausted if she were to be honest and her back was aching something awful from all the walking around. She had just leaned against the wall for a second to let the ache subside but soon she felt Harry behind her as he hugged her and smushed his cheek to her head.

“Baby, please take a break. You’ve been fluttering around all morning!” He said and she sighed.

“Of course, I’ve been hosting! And I didn’t want to keep interrupting you with your friends and family.” She said and he tutted.

“Yeah, but you should’ve, it’s our party, love. You can’t do it all, you’ve gotta take it easy, you can say you’re fine but you look exhausted. I appreciate you wanting to give me time with my family and friends, but not at your expense, my love.” He reprimanded her very gently and she sighed.

“I am pretty winded.” She admitted through a smile and he sighed and shook his head, “But I don’t get to do anything all day so I’m also taking advantage, OK?”

“Sure thing.” He said softly before kissing her cheek. He straightened her out a bit and she winced, “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” He was quickly before her and assessing any visible part of her.

“Nothing, s’just our giant eggplant-sized baby is a little heavy.” She said, “Kinda hurts to stand up straight.”

“Babe.” He frowned, “let me get you upstairs so you can lie down for a bit-”

“Harry, it’s fine.” Y/N giggled, “It’s just a bit sore. Comes with the territory.”

“Yeah, because you’ve been doing too much. They can handle cleaning up-”

“But that’s not fair-“

“They understand, babe. C’mon, let’s go.” He insisted and started guiding her to the staircase, “I’m gonna pick you up-”

“Don’t you dare!” She laughed as they reached the bottom of the stairs, “If you misstep the three of us will get really hurt.” She reminded with caution in her eyes.

“You’re right…let’s go slow then.”

“I’d rather get up there faster than take five minutes to get up there.” She said and he sighed.

“You’re being stubborn.”

“Harry, I know my limits. It’s fine.” She assured him and he sighed.

“Fine. Up you go.” He said starting to walk her up with a hand at her lower back. The warmth from his hand there was helping a bit and when they finally made it into their bedroom he helped her lay down and even put one of the throw pillows under her legs to even out her spine. She was still really tense as she was slightly struggling to just relax, she knew it would ache when she relaxed, but she finally just surrendered to it and she winced as all of her weight just rested onto the bed and her body took several moments to adjust. “Should I get the hot water bottle or give you a little back rub?” He asked her and she hummed with her eyes still squeezed shut.

“A little back rub sounds nice.” She said and he smiled.

“OK. Let me just let everyone know we’re up here.” He said and she hummed and he hurried out. She did kind of hate this, she knew it would only get worse from here on out. Maybe she should relocate to the guest bedroom downstairs and also buy herself one of those maternity pillows. She was starting to regret telling Harry it was a stupid purchase, but it was just so expensive for no reason at all. Harry was only gone a couple of minutes before he came back and settled into their bed beside her and rubbed at her lower back with his warm hands.

“Thank you, baby.” She hummed tiredly.

“Of course, my love.” He whispered and then a silence fell between them for a moment, “Can I tell you a secret?” He asked.

“Of course. Always! I love secrets!” She grinned and he chuckled.

“Nathan accidentally let it slip to me that Aly’s pregnant.” He said and she smiled.

“Oh my god, I know! 10 weeks! She told me earlier.” Y/N beamed.

“Really? He said she was trying to keep it a secret for a bit more.”

“Yeah, but she was nauseous and we got to talking and she just came out with it.” Y/N said, “I told her to announce it while a good chunk of the family is here.”

“I told Nathan the same thing. He was gonna talk to her.” He said and she giggled.

“Love that we thought the same thing. I think it’ll just be another little thing to make this day special. She’s so sweet, didn’t want to take the attention off of our day, but I assured her it was perfectly fine. It’s wonderful news.” She said and Harry hummed in agreement.

“I love you so much, you know that?”

“Mhmmm, you tell me every day.”

“And if I ever forget to, you have my permission to put me back in line.” He joked and she giggled.

“You know, even if you don’t say it I still feel it. Like it’s in the way you look at me or talk to me…I don’t think I’ve ever felt like you’ve not shown it to me before.”

“That makes me happy.” He said, “I feel it too.” He added in and she smiled.

“Good. I told Aly about our announcement too. She was really happy about that. I’m really happy she’s also having a baby, we’ll have plenty of things to talk about and bond over. And you know, I was thinking that if Aly has a little boy too then maybe we can just have the one, you know?”

“Just one?!” He asked with a chuckle and she giggled.

“Baby, as much as this has been such a special experience, I don’t know if I’d want to do this again. It’s been…lovely but also…like having a baby can’t be a fun thing.” She confessed and he chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s probably true.” He hummed, “And really it’s whatever you want, I’d make fifteen babies with you if you wanted them!” He said and she squeaked out a sound that made him laugh, “But if one’s enough for you, then that’s fine with me too. S’not like I’m doing any of the heavy lifting.” He said as he stroked over her belly with his other hand.

“Thank you for understanding. But like I said, if Aly ends up having a little girl we can try for another one and hope for a little brother for baby Charlie.” She said and he smiled and she gasped as she was suddenly on her back and Harry kissed her deeply.

“Yeah… but we’d have to have them quickly.” He said and she giggled.

“How quickly?”

“If we can have them share a nursery that’d be ideal. Like 11 to 14 months apart would be good.” He said and she laughed.

“Not even gonna give me a break…” she sighed and he chuckled and then Y/N winced again, “Ow…fuck…” she whined.

“S’the matter?”

“This child is kicking around and got lodged up on my side.” She winced and rubbed over her side for a bit until the baby repositioned itself.

“S’kinda gross if you think about it…he’s just hanging out in there, swimming around…”

“Yeah, it really is.” She giggled along with him.

“OK, m’gonna shut up now and let you have a nap.” He said and she giggled as he helped get her back onto her side and he continued rubbing her lower back until she had fallen asleep.

“Hi darling, dinner’s going to be ready and served in about 15 minutes.” Y/N heard Anne’s voice gently rousing her.

“Oh god, what time is it?” She asked groggily.

“S’ about 6:30.”

“Oh great, not gonna sleep tonight.” She said with a tired huff and Anne chuckled, “I think you’ll be alright, the more and more the baby grows the more exhausted you’ll be.” She assured. “Do you need me to pull you up?” She asked.

“Please.” Y/N said and Anne smiled as she helped her sit up. “I’m just gonna freshen up really quick.”

“Do you want me to wait and help you get down the stairs?”

“It’s alright, I can still manage.” Y/N assured and Anne nodded and headed out of their bedroom. Of course, Y/N’s mascara had smudged at her lower lash lines and her made up skin had gotten a bit oily and splotchy, so she started to clean that up and once she finished she realized that she had a stain on her shirt and headed into her and Harry’s closet to grab another top. She had just thrown hers into the hamper when Harry came into the closet.

“There you are.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, sorry just changing my top, had food dripped on mine.” She explained as she looked through her hangers to find something else.

Harry just took her in for a moment because she was absolutely gorgeous. Her body was a definitely a masterpiece before she was pregnant and he was so excited to get that version of her back so that he could do all of the wild things he’d been dying to do to her but couldn’t because of her current, fragile state. But seeing her like this, glowing and pregnant with his baby no less…it only made him marvel at her and love her more, but it also did things to him that he’d never felt before. In a way, it fed his ego, knowing that he did that to her. He was responsible for her and their baby, it swelled him with pride and with a ferocious and completely unconditional need for her. He felt a bit misogynistic for it sometimes, but how could he not find her so fucking sexy when she was literally carrying the most perfect product of their love for each other? He knew it wasn’t her sole purpose, but her body had literally been built to withstand all of it and then some! It just left him in complete awe of her every time he thought of it.

“What?” She asked upon feeling his intense stare and he blinked a few times as he smiled.

“You look incredible.” His voice was so gentle and sincere as he complimented her and she smiled bashfully. She loved when he’d do this because she didn’t feel incredible a lot of the time now. She felt big and slow and tired. “So fucking perfect.” He said as he stepped closer to her and grabbed her face gently but kissed her hungrily. Y/N felt her entire body tingle at his sudden romantic gesture. Harry’s tongue pushed into her mouth as he brought his hands to her bottom, groping her as he pushed her closer to him. He was so fucking hard and she sighed breathily as she got her hand in between them to rub him through his jeans. Moments later she brought her other hand over to start undoing his button and fly. “Mmmwhat…what’re you doing?” He whispered.

“Need to make you come.” She said and he moaned softly as she reached into his briefs to pull his cock out.

“Shit, baby they’re gonna be waiting for us-”

“Not if you come quickly.” She said and he chuckled breathily as she started stroking his cock between their bodies. “Fuck, you’re already so fucking hard for me.” She panted breathily.

“Yeah, you get me so worked up, baby.” He grinned down at her and she smiled and tiptoed to kiss him quickly before nuzzling her nose to his. Harry moaned as he watched her slip her hand down the front of her leggings and she rubbed her fingers back and forth a few times before she drew them back out and wrapped them around his cock again, all slick and warm with her own arousal and he sighed at the smooth glide of her strokes now that his cock was lubricated with her arousal.

“S’this OK?” She whispered.

“A little faster, my love…shit, just like that.” He sighed in relief as she set a new pace and he leaned further into her, gasping as she gently squeezed around the head, “Fuck, baby…fuck!” He groaned lowly and soon she started gliding up and down his shaft again with a tighter fist and his abs started to clench and his fingers dug into her ass hard.

“Gonna come for me, baby?” She asked softly and he nodded with his eyes squeezed shut, “Good boy, wanna see you shoot out a nice, big load for me.” She encouraged him and he moaned again.

“Fuck babygirl, I’ll give you so much fucking cum. Just keep going like that I’m so fucking close.” He grunted as quietly as possible as he started to thrust into her fist as well. Every time he’d buck up his tip would collide with the bottom of her belly and he looked forward to the short moment of friction before he’d pull back and do it again. It was the steady flicker of pleasure that was building him up at a rapid pace. He started going a bit harder and he started to lose his mind.

“Y/N, Harry? Are two still in here?” They heard Anne calling them and Harry bit his lip to keep his noises in and Y/N grinned up at him and squeezed tighter around his cock and his eyes rolled back as his head dropped back and accidentally knocked loudly into one of the thin panels of a cabinet in their closet.

“He’s jus helping me get changed!” Y/N called out and Harry started to tremble.

“Oh fuck…Oh fuck…” he panted quietly and she smirked.

“Shhhh…shhhhh!” She warned through a quiet giggle.

“Alright, we’re all ready down there.” Anna announced.

“OK, thank you!” Y/N called and just then Harry let out a groan and her hand flew up to cover his mouth as he moaned into it. She could feel his warm cum shooting out against her belly and down her fist as she started to ease up on her strokes, he followed her speed with his hips as he started to get worked up even more. She remove her hand from his mouth as his orgasm had passed but he sighed.

“Fuck, I wanna be inside you.” He said as he continued thrusting into her fist slowly, “Can’t wait ’til we have the house to ourselves.” He said and she smirked up at him and then kissed the underside of his jaw. He sighed as they finally stopped and he pulled her hand up and licked his cum off of it before dipping down to kiss her. Y/N immediately opened her mouth as he smeared his cum-slicked tongue into hers, both of them moaned at his taste and then they pulled away quickly before they got further carried away.

“Love you.”

“Love you.” He smiled. He then hurried to the hamper and grabbed her t-shirt from earlier to wipe his sperm from her tummy. She was quick to get a tank top on and then Harry helped her get into one of his cardigans before they headed down stairs. Dinner was delicious and they were all chattering away, Aly made sure that they were sure about letting her announce her pregnancy and Y/N reassured her about it once again. So after everyone seemed to have finished eating Harry smiled at Y/N before he stood up, instantly commanding everyone’s attention.

“Y/N and I just really want to thank you all for showering us with so much love and support today. Well every day actually since we’ve moved back. I think it’s so incredible how we always show up for each other with so much love and patience and kindness. And uh, moments like this are sometimes a bit bittersweet because…well, dad’s not here, nor is grandad. But I think that we’re honoring them and their fierce sense of responsibility to their family by being here for each other. And ummm…we want to keep their legacies alive and well as you know, the baby is coming in a few short months and so we’ve been busy with everything that has to do with that. And well, Y/N and I recently made an important decision about the baby and we wanted to share that with you all while we have you here.” He said and smiled down at her in her seat and she nodded, urging him to go on. Everyone was looking on with anticipation.

“Ummm, we want to share with you all what we’ve decided to name our son.” He said and everyone gasped in excitement or cooed in endearment, “So ummm, his name is Charles Julian,” he said glancing to Julie who chuckled as her eyes brimmed with tears, “Styles.” His family all cooed as he smiled at Y/N and then at everyone else as they cheered at the news. Hillary was crying tears of joy as Anne hugged her mother and then he and Y/N went over to her for a moment to just hug her, “Alright, that was it. Now ummm, we’re gonna turn it over to Nathan and Aly.” He grinned and everyone gasped as he said this and they stood up with big smiles.

“We’re gonna have a baby!” Aly announced with no hesitation and the biggest smile as Nathan held up a photo of the first sonogram. Everyone started cheering some more and Aly’s parents went over and congratulated them and for the rest of the evening everyone was just smiling from ear to ear.

**********

It had been a few days since the party and Y/N was still having issues with her back. She had evidently outdone herself and now couldn’t sleep from the ache that just didn’t allow her to get comfortable despite the muscle relaxant gel Harry had so kindly rubbed into her lower back before bed. She was so quiet as she got out of bed and slipped her cold feet into her fuzzy slippers as she headed downstairs slowly, her phone’s flashlight lighting her way down. She had a very particular craving and thankfully, Julie had smuggled in the goods; several bags of Y/N’s beloved and most missed snack, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Sure they, were available for order in some shops around London but they were outrageously overpriced as they were a delicacy in these parts. She had them hidden somewhere Harry never looked because he would give her so much shit for it, but right now that’s all she wanted.

She wanted the deliciously spicy (but definitely unhealthy) flavored powder tickling her tastebuds once again. Her mouth literally watered as she carefully hoisted herself up onto the step stool they had placed in there to help her reach the higher cabinets when he was gone and she pulled out one of their empty kitchen appliance boxes and she retrieved one of the snack-sized baggies from inside because even she knew that overindulging wasn’t a good move. As soon as she pried the bag open she inhaled the spicy scent of the chips and hummed happily as she leaned against the counter as she started to eat the chips. She was taking it slow, savoring each and every one. All was right with the world until Harry walked in with slightly squinted eyes and then he shook his head as she completely froze right before she tossed another Cheeto into her mouth. His lips turned up in a smirk as he came closer and bit it out of her fingers.

“Really?” He asked through his chewing and she smiled.

“Oh hush, I’ve been so good.” She said to him and he hummed and went in for another one, “Nuh-uh! Get your own.” She said and he smiled at her, “These are for the baby.” She hummed as she reached into the little bag and he scoffed.

“That’s not gonna hold up tonight.” He said as he snatched the bag from her and grabbed a few Cheetos before plopping them into his own mouth. She scowled at him as he munched away at them happily, “I genuinely miss these.” He admitted.

“How do you think I feel? These were like a whole food group for me!”

“Yeah, I know…” he chuckled.

“When I was younger I would eat them with nacho cheese-”

“That sounds like a stomach ache.”

“Oh, for sure! But it’s well worth it.” She assured and he sniggered quietly. “Are you gonna be one of those psycho granola parents because if you are, I’m telling you right now, I will sneak our child the goods behind your back.” She warned and he scoffed.

“That’s fucked up.”

“What’s fucked up is depriving your child of the joy of sweets and junk. Like obviously, s’not gonna be his primary diet, but every now and again we can have junk foods and candies and stuff, not just on special occasions. Like I think it’s smart to feed them mostly healthy food until they start socializing with other kids. My mom tried to be one of those organic, no chemicals moms and as soon as I got to pre-K they would feed us fruit snacks and give us juice boxes and cupcakes for other kids’ birthdays…I would overdo it and be all cracked out on sugar and eventually learned to stash my halloween candy so that I could ration it out for a rainy day.” She recalled and he chuckled.

“Yeah, I definitely don’t want anything like that. But I do think we should set good examples for our son, most importantly showing them balance. That’s all it is for me, just a good balance of each thing.” He assured.

“Why don’t you let me have balance then?” She pouted and he chuckled.

“Oh shut it!” he squinted his eyes at her unfathomable gall, “I know my gran sneaks you Jaffa cakes every day.” He said and Y/N burst into laughter, “And don’t think I’m oblivious to the location of your hot Cheeto stash.” He said with a knowing grin, “I’ve sussed you out.” He smirked at her through a laugh and she sighed.

“Well, I appreciate that you’ve let me believe I’ve been getting away with it this whole time.” She said to him and he smiled.

“Course, baby. Y’deserve it after everything you’re doing for our little baby.” He said with a soft smile.

“I don’t ever want to lie to you, I just felt like you might get on my ass about it and I figured it was just a little, white lie. Nothing harmful, you know?”

“Well I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to lie and sneak around just to have some processed snacks!” He exclaimed with a chuckle and she swore her entire heart just burst with adoration for him.

“I love you so much.” She said softly and he pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“I love you so, so much.” He hummed against her soft skin, “Is your back still bugging you?”

“Yeah. The gel stuff helped for a little bit, but it wore off fast.” She explained, “I was thinking that it might be a good idea for us to move down to the guest room in a few weeks.”

“Yeah, we can get set up down here.” Harry assured, “And baby, these next few days please slow down until the back thing subsides a bit, yeah?”

“I will. I promise. Your gran and I have been talking about her teaching me how to knit.”

“Oh really? A proper granny hobby for you?” He teased and she giggled.

“Yeah. I bought a pattern to make a little knitted Hedwig.” She pouted in endearment and Harry smiled.

“When does it arrive?”

“A week or two. So she’s gonna be teaching me some of the basics these next few weeks and then we’ll get to the owl.”

“Baby, I absolutely love how much you include her in things. You always do things with her that make her excited to come see you. Mum says she’s been a lot happier lately. Like, not that she wasn’t happy overall, but she did dim down a bit after my grandad passed, you know?”

“I can imagine. But ummm, yeah I have a lot of fun with her. I think we’re helping each other a lot.” She said and Harry smiled.

“I’m glad, baby.” He said and kissed her lips quickly, “Have you spoken to Julie at all about your parents?” He asked and she sighed.

“Nope. Don’t want to. I’m doing so well and I’m so happy right now with everything we’ve got going on, don’t need someone taking a crap in my cornflakes, you know?” Upon hearing this expression Harry burst into laughter and Y/N soon joined him, which definitely helped lighten the mood as they delved into this heavier topic. Once their laughter settled he tucked some hair behind her ear and sighed as he just took her in with the most loving gaze, “Have you talked to Julie about it?” She asked and Harry hummed and nodded to confirm.

“Yeah, for a bit.” He said and she sighed, “I can tell you if you want?” He asked and she bit her lip. It made Harry’s heart hurt for her because she looked so afraid and nervous to hear about anything related to her parents. And well, he couldn’t tell her that they said they were sorry or wanted to be part of her life. As much as he wished he could relay that message, it wasn’t it.

“It can’t be good if you’re asking if I want to hear it.” She said and he sighed.

“Well, it’s not bad either, it’s just…maybe what you’d expect I think.” He said to her and she nodded.

“OK, tell me.” She said.

“Your mum called Julie after getting your letters because obviously, she couldn’t reach you. She was a bit upset that you decided to leave without giving them a proper goodbye or not bothering to tell them about the pregnancy when we found out. Julie said she wasn’t mad, she was just more hurt than anything.” He said and she sighed, “Julie explained that they had made it abundantly clear that they wanted nothing to do with us and you didn’t want to risk sharing all that good news with them just for them to be so openly unsupportive.” Y/N nodded as Harry explained this, “That led to her getting angry and blaming Julie for creating distance between your family because you had never been this selfish and inconsiderate before you moved in with her. Julie knows she was just lashing out because she’s sad and hurt.” He explained as Y/N frowned upon hearing this.

“She then said that you were making your dad sick with stress because you got married without his blessing and she had no idea how she was supposed to tell him that you’re pregnant and have moved to another country altogether. I mean, it’s nothing new from what they always say.”

“Yeah.” She sniffled as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Julie said she got so annoyed at her that she just hung up and blocked her number.” Harry said and Y/N sniggered through her tears, “She didn’t even tell them she left too so ummm…she wonders if they might show up one day and just find that she’s gone too.”

“God, I fucking hope so. And I hope they realize that now they’re all alone.” Y/N said with an ill-intended smile, “I want nothing to do with them, Harry.”

“Baby, you don’t mean that.”

“Right now I do!” She said and he nodded.

“OK.” He said softly.

“I want the rest of my pregnancy to be good and peaceful, like it has been the whole time we’ve been here. It’s been so good here, I don’t even want to think of them.” She insisted and Harry nodded.

“OK, we won’t.This is our family, OK? We can build it and grow it however the fuck we want. And as long as we’re not like…joining a cult or something completely out of pocket like that,” he said and she giggled, “My family won’t meddle or try to change things.” He assured.

“It’s OK if they do. I mean, if it’s gonna help our family be like your family then I want that.” She said and he smiled and reached for her face, wiping her tear stains with his thumb.

“I hope our son is like you. So strong, and open, and brave.” He said quietly and she just surged forward and hugged him tight.

“Ughh, I love you so much.” She sniffled and Harry smiled as he rubbed her back gently, “I hope our son looks like you though because I’ve done those gender swapping filters and I do not make an even remotely decent-looking guy.” She confessed and she pulled back to look at him as he chuckled.

“You’re perfect.” He tutted.

“As a female-presenting person, yes! I agree, I’m so cute!” She stated with certainty and he chuckled, “But as a male-presenting person…ehhh…it was…a jump scare.” She giggled and he laughed and shook his head.

“I love that you know your limits.” He said and she laughed loudly at his response.

“Baby?”

“Yes, my love?” He asked pulling back to see her better.

“You’re literally my favorite person ever. It’s not lost on me how lucky I am to get to do all of this with you.”

“Oh hush…” he said warding off her compliment and she tutted.

“Baby, it’s the truth. Acknowledge it!” She insisted and he smiled bashfully as he looked into her eyes.

“We’re both so fucking lucky to be doing this with each other. That’s all you’re getting.” He said and she smiled.

“When are you just going to be a little bit cocky about something, H?” She huffed.

“I pulled you, didn’t I? M’very cocky about that. And well, if our son looks like me, specially after what you’ve just told me, I’ll definitely be cocky about that.” He said and she burst into laughter and playfully slapped his chest as he laughed along with her, “I am serious, though.”

“Trust me, I know.” She assured and he grinned smugly, “Alright, ready to head back up?”

“Yeah, c’mon.” He hummed as he grabbed her now empty Cheeto bag and tossed it in the garbage before walking them back up to their bedroom. They brushed their teeth again and were soon cuddled up in their bed, sleep seeming far away now that they had been up for a bit.

“Baby, I have a small request.” She whispered.

“What is it?”

“From this week onward, please don’t tell me what object or food size our baby is. It’s really starting to freak me out.” She confessed through a giggle and he chuckled and kissed her forehead.

“OK, I won’t. I promise.” He said and she sighed in relief, “I’m just really excited, didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“I know you did it with good intentions, babe.” She assured him, “I just feel like if I have a visual of like how big it’ll be I’ll feel like I can’t do it when the time comes, you know?” She explained quietly and well this made Harry frown when he fully understood her point of view. It made so much sense, sometimes ignorance truly is bliss!

“Yeah, see I never thought of it in those terms. I was just excited that our baby is becoming a baby, you know? I’m sorry if I made you feel nervous or incapable with that, I really hadn’t even thought of what that would make you feel-”

“It’s OK. I mean, I hadn’t really been thinking about it like that until the whole eggplant thing.” She assured with a little giggle and he sniggered as well, “That one did start to freak me out. Like…how?” She asked and he sighed.

“I really don’t know, but I mean, clearly it’s possible.”

“Well I know that, like I get it, but like… your vagina is one thing, obviously very stretchy, but the cervix…mmmm, I don’t know how? Like the circumference of a baby’s head isn’t just 10 centimeters, but that seems to work out, I just never thought of it as like…stretchy.” she expressed her doubt through an unsure little hum and he literally stopped breathing for a moment.

“Wait, what has your cervix got to do with anything?”

“Baby, the cervix is what dilates, s’the first thing the baby comes through.” She reiterated and he sat up.

“No.” He said flatly.

“Yeah, H!” She chuckled.

“But it’s so tiny…s’just a tiny little thing!” he said with concern.

“I know, hence the reason I’m freaking out…” she stated as he laid back down.

“I’m so sorry…you poor thing.” He said monotonously and she burst into laughter.

“Yeah, s’pretty fucked up.” She said to him and he shook his head, still in complete disbelief. He was deeply disturbed now, he was so confident that he knew how all of this worked, but he had never really bothered with understanding the internal mechanics of it all and now he truly did feel bad for her.

“It is. OK, so one baby is perfectly fine, love. I don’t want you to have to do that ever again now that I know that…fuck.” He huffed and she giggled, “And well, with that knowledge in mind I might actually pass out…” he confessed and she sighed.

“Good god, Harry…”

“I’m an empath!” He defended and she laughed quietly at him, “Don’t laugh…it’s gonna be harder than I realized to have to-”

“Don’t even go there. It’ll be a cake walk for you.” She said and he sighed.

“Sorry…maybe I just don’t have to watch it happen. I mean, I’d want to, but maybe it’s not a good idea.”

“Definitely not if you’re going to pass out.” She giggled, “I’ll need you fully conscious. Don’t think I could do it without you.” She said.

“Fuck, and now I feel bad for getting you pregnant.” He said softly and she knew he was mostly joking, but a part of him did feel bad that this was going to be a lot more intense than he had realized and they fell silent for a few moments until he spoke up again, “Are you sure it’s the cervix?” He asked and she laughed.

“Baby, how did you think this happened? Obviously the baby is not just like chilling in the…canal!” She said and he burst into laughter.

“Obviously! But like… I don’t know what I thought happened…” he mumbled and she grabbed one of his hands and kissed it.

“Well, now you know.” She said and he sighed.

“Much to my chagrin.” He mumbled and she giggled, “Hopefully he’s a tiny baby.”

“I don’t think the size really matters unless they’re over the normal range, like a 12 pound baby or something monstrous like that…you’ll still have to open the same for even a tiny baby.” she concluded.

“What? 12 pounds?!” she’d never heard him sound so English in her life, it made her start to laugh at the thickness of his accent, even his tone of shock was somehow super English, “That cannot be real.” he exclaimed in horror as she trembled with laugher.

“Oh, it’s very real.” She assured.

“No, babe…” he whined with a grimace surely on his face, “That’s so fucking awful…”

“I’m sure it is.” She agreed “Any other questions you might have about where babies come from?” She asked playfully.

“No. I definitely have enough information on this to last me a lifetime.” He assured with an evident feeling of concern in his tone and she giggled.

…. MAY …

On the days that Aly was feeling too queasy and sick due to her pregnancy she’d head on over to Y/N and Harry’s to hang out with her and her grandmother. True to Hillary’s word, she was teaching the two how to knit and well, Y/N was a bit impatient for not being able to go fast like Hillary, but she was at least precise about it. And well, getting to bond with Aly was also really nice and well, for the most part they would talk about what would be going on I everyone’s lives, it wasn’t gossip, it was just a recounting of information is what Hillary would say because she thought gossiping was very ugly and Y/N and Alyssa couldn’t agree more.

“-but regardless of what he says, Mr. Jones did in fact eat the neighbor’s takeaway! And that’s why Harry’s going to be over early on Sunday to help install one of those cameras.” Hillary shared with the girls before she slurped up some of her Pho. She’d never had it before until she tried it with Y/N and now she was hooked, it was sweet really.

“Do you really think Harry can install a camera?” Aly asked and Y/N giggled, “No offense to your husband’s skill set.” She said and Y/N shook her head.

“No you’re fine, I was thinking the same thing.” She said softly.

“Oh, he’s young and smart! He’ll figure it out.” Hillary said.

“Gran, Harry is so technologically challenged!” Aly said through a giggle.

“It’s true, I had to do his assignments for his Procreate certificate.” Y/N added in.

“Oh god, should he even be tattooing then?” Aly asked and Y/N giggled.

“I mean, he just does all his stencils and designs on paper. He really hates virtual art.” She said and Aly nodded. “You should’ve seen when he learned about ChatGPT, he literally would not stop going on about it for days!”

“What on earth is a ChatGPT?” Hillary interjected.

“Artificial Intelligence, gran. AI!” Aly explained briefly and Hillary’s eyes widened.

“Already?! In my lifetime?”

“I think it’s really cool.” Aly said.

“I mean it is, but I think as a person in a creative field it does take away people’s integrity, it’s like taking the easy way out. So I do agree that it can be a great tool, but we need to moderate it before it like…gains too much consciousness and we’re in a live action Avengers film or something.”

“I wouldn’t mind that all too much…that Chris Hemsworth is dreamy isn’t he?” Hillary said and Y/N and Ally giggled.

“What in the world are you still doing here?” Harry suddenly asked as he burst in through the garage door startling all three of them.

“Announce yourself y’bugger!” Hillary scolded him with a pout as Harry kissed the top of her head with a mischievous grin as he went around to Aly and greeted her next.

“What are you guys chatting about?” He asked as he then came over to Y/N and dipped down to kiss her lips, “Hi, my love.” He mumbled against her lips.

“We were talking about how shit you are with technology since gran said you’re installing some cameras at theirs.” Aly said and he immediately pulled away.

“Ummm, no I’m not.” He scoffed.

“Please Harry, you’re completely inept. I know about your procreate assignments.” Aly said with a smirk and he turned back to Y/N with a pout.

“How could you?” He asked her with feigned insult and she smirked.

“Not to mention you’ll be working with the home’s electrical! Are you sure you don’t want to have someone professional come and install it, gran? What if you’re out of power for a week because this idiot fucks a fuse or-”

“Oh hush, leave my handsome boy alone.” Hillary said to Aly and Harry rounded the table back over to her and knelt down to hug her all while flipping Aly off and she just rolled her eyes. When Hillary saw she joined him, demonstrating her own obscene gesture.

“Well, that’s my cue to go.” Aly said through a giggle and Y/N chuckled as well.

This was Harry’s last week of work at the shop and as much as he loved being in the shop, he was excited to get to spend these final stages of the pregnancy with Y/N. Y/N was at 31 weeks now and getting far too big for comfort and she just constantly needed more help than what Hillary could give her at the moment. While it was in Julie’s plans to help take care of Y/N as she got closer to her due date, it was also summertime and Anne’s flower shop had been immensely busy with a variety of events, almost back to back some weeks, so Julie was recruited for that because Anne really couldn’t do all this on her own. Thankfully, Aly’s wedding had put her on the map with some of her friends and those friends told their friends and so she’d experienced an uptick in demand that she couldn’t pull off on her own, so Julie was enlisted to help. And really, ever since she’d arrived Y/N hadn’t seen Julie as much as she expected, she was acclimating really well and she supposed it was because there really hadn’t been anything tying her down to the U.S. anymore.

As they had discussed a few weeks prior, they had moved down a bunch of her stuff to the guest room because getting up all those steps was brutal. And well, of course Harry slept down there with her, so she wasn’t all alone. She heard him coming back in from having taken Hillary back to Anne’s and she was just lotion-ing up her tummy and hips and well, her boobs as well because they were starting to grow a bit more and they were getting rather itchy and sore with the process. Harry just happened to walk in on her about to do that and he just smirked at here with lustful eyes. She had just come out of the shower and she had gotten her shorts on, but she needed to get this done before getting her top on, it was just easier that way.

“Perfect timing.” He said as he walked into the ensuite and immediately washed his hands and she laughed softly. He was thorough with his washing and then dried them off, “I’d love to help.” He said as he came and sat beside her on the bed.

“I’m sure you would.” She said with a grin and he chuckled as he pulled her out into the bedroom.

“Do they hurt?” He asked as she handed over the little jar of lotion, it’s one that Gemma swore by and well, it had been helpful thus far. But also her growth had been rather consistent thus far, but she knew that towards the tail end she would probably blow up and inevitably get stretch marks, but she’d do as much preventative work as possible as futile as it seemed.

“Just a little bit, nothing I’m not used to so far.” She assured and he hummed as he dipped two fingers into the lotion before spreading it in his palms as he shuffled around to sit behind her and she just let her weight back against him as he kissed her bare shoulder before reaching beneath her arms and gently taking a hold of each breast and starting to lather the moisturizer in.

“Oh…they do feel bigger.” He mused.

“Yeah, I’ve definitely gone over just one cup size now.” She sighed. Harry was so gentle and delicate with her, of course her nipples peaked in his big, warm, veiny hands and as much as she wanted to let herself get turned on by this as much as he was getting turned on, she just wasn’t feeling it and she winced as he playfully pinched at her nipples. “No!” She frowned as she sniggered through a wince and he chuckled and did it again which made her reach down and pull at the hair on his thigh and he winced and let go to rub over the spot on his thigh. “Serves you right.”

“M’sorry, baby.” He apologized, “Just got a little too excited.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” She sighed.

“You’re just so fucking beautiful. I get really excited over the fact that we did this.” He said as his hands ran down to her bump. “And I know that it’s not easy by any means, so I just…admire you more and love you more for it.” He said quietly.

“I know, baby.” She hummed, “I have an appointment next Monday, 7 month check up.” She said.

“Okay, great! Can’t wait to see the little guy.” He said with a smile that she could hear in his voice.

“I know… and I was thinking that maybe with you around I can just be a bit more active than just walks with your gran.” She said and he smiled.

“Yeah, we can do that. A few light things, yeah?” He asked and she nodded, “Well lucky for you, I’ve actually been looking into this yoga class, it’s specifically for pregnant people. They meet three times a week in the evenings. Obviously, we don’t have to go every day if you don’t want, but it’d be something nice to do together.” He suggested and she nodded.

“Yeah, I think I’ve been too sedentary, apparently more exercise will help with my back pain. Seems counterproductive but, it’s science.” She said and he chuckled.

“Maybe you can learn some stretches for it or something. But I think it’d also be a good way for me to like get in tune with your body in terms of like the birthing part of everything. Apparently they show different poses as well, so you can find what’s comfortable.” He explained.

“Yeah, that sounds really nice actually. But I’m not all that bendy, m’sure it’s worse now but I’ll definitely try it out.” She responded and he smiled.

“We’ll work on the bendy thing down the line, don’t you fret.” He said and she giggled.

“That’s slightly terrifying.” She said and he chuckled.

“I promise you’ll like it.” He hummed confidently and she just smiled.

“Can you get my shirt please? If it’s not beside you it’s under you somewhere.” She said and he searched around for a moment before helping her get it on.

“There you are my queen.” He hummed and she shook her head.

“No. No, we’re not that king-queen couple.” She said as she just let herself fall back onto the bed. It took a lot of core strength she didn’t really have at the moment to be able to lay back in a controlled manner. Harry was laughing quietly beside her because he knew how cringey she found that.

“It just slipped out. I promise!” He chuckled and she grinned as he settled into the bed beside her.

“Just as long as I never have to hear that again.” She said and he laughed.

“Promise.”

***********

Y/N was now 32 weeks along and after his first week at home, Harry soon recognized that the routine Y/N had with his grandmother was not one that could easily be broken. Within the first few days at home everything that needed to be built and set up he’d taken care of. When he didn’t have that to do he tried to learn to knit with them, but they were at a much different skill level than him and he felt inferior. He knew logically, that it wasn’t a competition, but knitting was boring, so he had to do something to spice up the experience for himself and decided he could finish his wing before Y/N. And well, that resulted in a very deformed wing for the knitted Hedwig they were working on and Y/N had to redo his. When she finished it in about an hour after he’d been working on that for at least three hours, he decided that he would try and introduce new activities to the pair that would also be fun for him. If he was to be home, he also needed to have a good time, it was only fair.

“What if we go to the park and have a picnic today?” He asked them on this lovely morning. The weather was perfectly warm. During the last few days or so they’d been ranging anywhere from 23 to 26 degrees (mid 70’s to 80 in Fahrenheit). He figured Y/N wouldn’t mind this as being from California she was used to much more intense heat.

“Baby, that’s way too hot for me to be walking around and sitting in the sun right now. My body temp is already running a bit high according to the doctor.” She reminded.

“Oh c’mon, you’re used to much hotter. I know you can handle it.” He said with a grin before sipping on his coffee.

“Yeah, maybe I could when I was literally a third of the size I am now. I was sweating on my morning walk and it was only 70 degrees.” She said.

“She’s right, H. It’s easier for her to overheat and overexert herself with the extra weight from the baby and it’s not good for the baby if that happens. We’re in a heatwave, H.” His gran reminded.

“Well I don’t want to just sit around all day. I want to do something different today, just get out of the routine.” He reasoned.

“Well aren’t you two still doing that yoga or something in the evenings?” His grandmother asked.

“Yeah, but that’s part of the routine already.” He said. “Forgive me for wanting to spend some quality time with my wife and make memories with her.” He said with some snark and they both chuckled.

“If you want to go out so badly, go out and do something, H.” Y/N said and he frowned.

“Alone?” He asked as if she had suggested he fly himself to the moon.

“Baby, this is your hometown, you’ll be alright. It’s just getting really hard to move around and keep up with you. I just don’t have the energy to go and explore with you right now.” She explained and he huffed.

“M’just gonna go to the gym then.” He decided before finishing his coffee and heading upstairs to change. Harry’s feelings were hurt at her rejection to go out with him; he didn’t think he was asking for anything ridiculous. He went up to their bedroom to get changed and when he was heading back downstairs he saw her waiting at the foot of the staircase.

“Hey, I ummm…I feel like you’re upset that I didn’t want to go out with you.” She said and he shook his head in a fib.

“M’not, it’s whatever. You wanna spend time with my gran and-”

“Are you jealous of your grandma?” She asked with a grin and he chuckled.

“No. I just…thought we would be able to spend more time together is all. Just doing things that we enjoy doing.”

“I mean, we can have that picnic, just in the backyard?” She suggested and he sighed.

“Baby, the point of the picnic was to get out of here. I didn’t think we’d basically be prisoners in our home.” He explained how he felt and she pouted upon hearing that.

“Well, you’re not a prisoner, H.” She said softly as his words stung her heart a bit. He immediately sensed that he’d made her upset and shook his head.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He mumbled.

“Then what did you mean?” She questioned and he sighed, sensing that even his explanation wouldn’t get him out of this one.

“Just that it’s a little bit…slow being stuck in here all day. I don’t see why you can’t knit at the park or anywhere else, babe.”

“Harry, your explanation is not really making what you said better.” She said and he groaned.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that we’ve got just a few short weeks before the baby comes and I just feel like you don’t want to spend time with me. Clearly you have a well established routine that you refuse to budge on and if that’s the case then maybe I should’ve just waited until your due date to stop working. I mean…everything’s going to change for us soon and we won’t be able to do stuff together that don’t involve the baby for a long time.” He vented a bit and she sighed and tried not to roll her eyes because well, his feelings were his feelings. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t upset her and she was going to clear that up right now.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” She said with a frown, “But let me just enlighten you a bit though, H. Everything changed for me the moment I got pregnant.” She said, “I’ve been living a completely different life from day one! And in the state I’m in right now I can’t even picture myself having a good time anywhere outside of this house. It’s harder than you might think and like, I know you have your own needs but I feel like you’re being really dismissive of my needs right now.” She said.

“I don’t mean to be-”

“I know that, but you are. Like…at this stage more than ever, I feel like even my body is not my own anymore.” She sighed, “And you’re right, things will only change even more once the baby comes. Like our lives are not gonna be our own for a bit and it is a bit sad, but I don’t think it’ll feel like we missed out on life alone. It’s just going to be different and like…I’ve already had that crisis and made peace with it, so I need you to get past this because you’re projecting and it’s making me feel like I’m being a shitty partner to you when it really has nothing to do with me.” She said and he sighed.

“Well I can’t help how I feel, baby.” He said.

“I know that. Trust me, I do, I felt that way too at the start. And I’d give anything to be able to have the energy to do more outdoorsy things with you and make more of our time, but I just can’t right now. Like…I’m not sure what you expected from paternity leave, H. But it’s not a vacation, not in the slightest.” She said and he sighed.

“Cleary.” He mumbled, his feelings still hurt.

“You’ll have to find your own kind of routine to keep you occupied when you feel…like you’re trapped.” She said with a hint of spite and a frown. It was hurting her feelings that he felt stuck. That feeling would only get worse and worse the closer she got to her due date, more stress, more urgency, always on standby, it wasn’t going to be easy. It worried her that he would continue to feel stuck even after the baby came. Maybe they had moved too quickly? And before she knew it a lump was forming in her throat as her eyes brimmed with tears as this massive wave of anxiety washed over her.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” He asked quietly when he saw her tearful eyes.

“I just, ummm…realized that you said that being at home with me makes you feel like a prisoner. I don’t want you to feel that way with me.” She said with a sniffle and he pouted.

“Baby, it was a poor choice of words.” He said as he reached for her hands and she pulled them out of his reached and crossed them over her chest.

“The way you said them made me feel like you’ve been feeling that way for a bit. And like…this is only your second week at home.” She pointed out and he sighed. “If you hate it this much then maybe you can just do your own thing until I absolutely need you around-”

“Baby-”

“Don’t try to take back something that you sincerely meant, Harry.”

“I didn’t mean for it to hurt your feelings.”

“I know, but you have. Just…go find friends to hang out with or something, shake off the feeling. It’s fine, I know you didn’t have that intention. Just go get a breather.” She nodded.

“I feel like this is a trap.” He said and she sighed.

“Well I’m sure it’ll beat being caught in this trap.” She said and turned around and walked back to the kitchen. He sighed when he faintly heard her start sobbing in the kitchen and he just knew she’d really prefer some space right now and he would whip up a really big apology and make it up to her when he got back.

*********

Harry had the least productive workout of his life. He had quite literally been googling “how to make up with your pregnant wife after a fight” while he leisurely peddled on the stationary bike at the back of the cycling class he’d joined. What she had said about things changing for her from the start of the pregnancy, well obviously he knew things had been different physically, but he’d never considered that it may have taken a toll mentally before. It was painfully obvious, but often times those are the details that are most overlooked. He was feeling badly though, because the way he had communicated his inner turmoil had been really hurtful to Y/N. He was just afraid and he tended to just be really projective and defensive when he was feeling scared or insecure and well, now Y/N was mad at him. He was still scrolling through his phone trying to come up with something that he could do or get her that would aid in her forgiving him…

“Class is over, you know?” He heard a familiar voice and quickly glanced up only to lock gazes with a familiar icy blue pair of eyes. Suddenly he felt his stomach flip as the woman before him smiled at his shock, she did always like to cause a scene.

“Chloe, hi.” He said softly with disbelief. Still in shock at seeing his ex-girlfriend standing there, grinning smugly at him. He felt so anxious just seeing her before him. He had done everything under the sun to get over all of the hurt she had caused him. He had effectively prepared for any possibility except this one; the one where by some insane and ill-turn in his luck, he’d run into her.

“Hi Harry. I heard through the grapevine that you were back.” She said with a smile and he nodded, “Knew you wouldn’t last overseas for too long. Though, I must say it was a good plan.”

“Plan?” He asked and she sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, that was part of your plan to…to move on right? And to heal?” She asked and he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of admitting that she had wrecked him. He knew her game and she thrived on leaving her mark on people. “Look, I’m not saying that to patronize you. I just ummm… I hope the move helped you.” She said and he looked at her cautiously.

“Well, thanks.” He responded and she sighed and chuckled.

“Well, did it?” She asked him and he didn’t want to entertain her, but he also wanted to show her that he had moved on and that he had healed and that he had everything she had told him he could never have because he wasn’t good enough for it. He was frustrated at the argument he had with Y/N and had been thrown off by Chloe ambushing him in this fucking cycling class. He wanted to get in the final jab to really stick it to her, so he didn’t really think about any consequences when he raised his left hand to her, showing off his wedding band.

“Ummm yeah, I’d say so.” He chuckled, trying to keep the smug look off of his face when her mouth dropped open in shock.

“You’re married?! Wow!” She gasped with a smile and he nodded. “You’ve been gone all of two years!” She giggled with a smile and he started to feel less worried about her intentions. She seemed to be happy for him, “When did you do it?” She asked and he chuckled.

“Yeah, we did it just this January, actually. We’ve got a baby due in a few more weeks.” He informed with pride and her eyebrows arched up.

“Oh! So it was that kind of thing.” She said with a small smile and he furrowed his brows.

“Oh no, I’d proposed way before the pregnancy.” He explained and she hummed in understanding.

“Well good, as long as it’s not some baby-trapping situation. I know plenty of friends who got sucked into those kinds of situations.” She said and as her words registered, he realized that this idea of him suddenly feeling trapped had been a projection of his previous bad experiences. His little meltdown had just been a version of the person Chloe had trained that was still stuck in there somehow. How could he feel trapped when he literally had everything he had ever wanted with Y/N? When he had everything he had been made to believe he never could or would have because he was made to feel like he would never be good enough for that kind of commitment and that kind of role. “Harry?” She asked and he hummed as he snapped back into reality from that little mental trip of realization.

“Sorry, m’just a bit distracted today.” He chuckled and she hummed.

“Is everything alright?” She asked and he suddenly wanted to prove to her that everything was in fact perfect and that he had come out stronger after everything she’d put him through.

“Yeah, s’just a bit of a transitionary period, you know? Being a husband and a father.” He said and she hummed, not really validating how far he’d come. How he’d done what to her was always out of his scope of possibilities, “I’m not really doing anything after this would you like to grab a coffee or something and catch up for old time’s sake?” He found himself asking her. She looked surprised at his invitation as their breakup had been a complete shit show and her lips turned up in a smile.

“Yeah, that’d be cool.” She said nonchalantly and he nodded.

“Cool. We can freshen up and I’ll meet you up front?”

“Perfect.” She agreed and they both headed out of the studio and into the locker rooms.

For Harry, this was a pride thing. He was suddenly blinded by his need to prove to her that she didn’t have power over him any more. That she couldn’t affect him how she had before. He was so convinced that he had the upper hand, that he was suddenly completely blind of the epiphany he’d had moments earlier about how somehow, she was still in his head. What they’d had were four years of the most insane and toxic back and forth relationship that a person should be allowed to deal with. There was never a dull moment, and not in a good way. When he met Chloe he was broken and sad and he needed someone to prove to him that he was worthy of love him because he couldn’t believe that for himself at the time. And at first there was so much love and care and attention from her. But after a month or two, the mood swings started and it became impossible to not make her upset. But he was still riddled with so much self-loathing that he felt that he deserved the hurt she’d cause him. With Chloe the lows were horrifically low, but when she was in a good place she loved him fiercely and overwhelmingly. He felt on top of the world during those moments, but their happiness was so fragile and that’s when he started to lose himself. When he was so desperate to feel her love that he compromised every part of himself to ensure that he stayed in her good graces and she loved that.

When Eddie had talked to him about love-bombing and abusive partners he was enraged. And well, Chloe had warned him that people would try to break them up and come between them like that, so he was extremely defensive when Eddie questioned the health of their relationship. But every piece of evidence Eddie showed him about how his relationship was abusive was literally chipping away at his composure and sanity. He didn’t acknowledge Eddie for a week after that, he had been so hurt and angry that everything he had shared with him about his relationship had been seemingly turned against him. He felt attacked and was in this mindset of “it’s Harry and Chloe against the world” for quite a while. When the news of Gemma being pregnant with Ivy came to him along with an invitation to a little party at her house he decided that he would show up, despite Chloe asking him not to go. He was scared of how going would make Chloe react, but he was more afraid to show his face after ages of shutting out his family. But the moment his family saw him it became more of a “Welcome home, Harry” party than a pregnancy announcement party. He was overwhelmed by the warm reception from his family. He thought about it for weeks after and soon realized that love wasn’t something to be earned, love was to be freely given to those you care about. Even when you’re upset or in a fight with someone the love doesn’t just disappear, like he’d been experiencing with Chloe. It took him a bit, but he soon apologized to Eddie profusely for his attitude and that’s when Eddie talked to him about a plan he had to open a shop in LA in the next year or so and well, the rest was history.

When he changed back into his street clothes he went outside and had originally started typing out a text to Y/N that he ran into someone he knew and would be going out for a coffee, but quickly decided to not send the message. That should’ve been the first red flag that he was heading down a dangerous road. But he rationalized that away by telling himself that this would be a quick coffee and catch up, he didn’t want this to be a big deal. It was a one-time thing that he was doing for himself; putting the final nail in the coffin of his twisted and painful past. Harry hadn’t and didn’t want to recount all of the shit with Chloe to Y/N. By the time he’d gotten to LA he and Chloe had been done for nearly a year and he’d gotten away with not really talking about it to anyone and he was not about to start now. He felt that he had done a lot of the hard work to move on and he felt prepared to face her again without any consequence or negative impact to himself.

“Hey, ready to go?” He heard Chloe again and he turned to her and smiled as he shoved his phone in his pocket.

“Yeah. Should we go to the one just down the street. S’pretty good if I recall correctly?” He asked and she nodded.

“Sure.Do you want to walk? It’s really nice out today.” She suggested and he smiled.

“Yeah, I could go for a stroll after doing absolutely nothing in that cycling class.” He chuckled and she laughed along.

********

It was nearly 3pm and Harry hadn’t come home yet after leaving a bit after 9am. Y/N and Hillary were both starting to worry because he had said he was going to the gym. She knew that they hadn’t left off on the best of terms and she was anxious to have a proper conversation with him to find a middle ground about how to proceed from this point forward and of course, apologize for the argument. But he’d been gone nearly 5 hours without even returning her text that she’d sent about an hour before, asking when he was coming home. She’d chewed through her fingernails and had started to tear away at the sides of her thumbs when the front door finally opened. She got up from the couch and hurried to the front door as fast as she could. She opened up the door to the entry way and sighed in relief when she saw Harry close the front door behind him.

“Oh thank god, you had me worried!” She said and he turned to her with a small smile. He looked sweaty and a bit tired, figures if he had the longest workout known to mankind.

“I’m sorry, love. I ended up leaving the car at the gym and ended up in SOHO-”

“SOHO?”

“Yeah, I lost track of time out there. It was just such a lovely day.” He explained.

“That’s alright. I’m just not happy about how we left things this morning. S’why I was trying to reach you.” She said and he frowned.

“I understand, love. I’m sorry my phone was on silent. But ummm, I was also being a prick. I don’t feel trapped or like…imprisoned with you. I mean, we’re living the dream, yeah?” He asked.

“I would say so.” She replied softly. “And ummm…I know that this transitionary period is hard and I could’ve been more understanding. Especially since I went through it too. I’m sorry for making you feel bad and for snapping at you. It was wrong of me and I love you so much and I’m sure we can figure some things out to still have a little fun here.” She said and he nodded, “Just nothing with cards because your grandma stopped playing nice now that we’ve built trust.” She said and he chuckled and just hugged her and kissed her forehead.

“Deal. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She replied feeling relief now that they had spoken and apologized to each other.

“Well, you know maybe getting out on my own a bit is not so bad. I just have a lot of kinetic energy built up and just need to be able to get it out, you know? Maybe I can do my own workout or something a couple times a week, you know?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea and when we’re here I’ll be more inclusive about the things we do.” She said and he nodded.

“Thank you, my love. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna have a shower because I am quite sweaty.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, go head.” She said moving so that he could make it into the home and then he headed down the hall to the guest room where they were currently set up.

After that, the rest of the day had gone well. Anne and Julie had come by for dinner and they all got to chatting before Y/N started to get sleepy and headed off to have her own shower after saying goodbye. She could hear everyone still chatting when she made it out of the bathroom and then she saw Harry plugging his phone in and setting it on the bedside table. He huffed when he saw that it wasn’t powering on yet.

“Should I head back out?” She asked and he just continued looking down at his phone and she cleaned her throat to get his attention.

“Huh?” He asked turning to her and she giggled.

“I said should I head back out after getting dressed?”

“Oh no, they’re just picking after themselves. I’ll walk them to the car don’t worry.” He said and then looked down to his phone, trying to power it on again.

“OK.” She said noticing how entranced he was by getting his phone back on, “Is everything alright? You seem anxious to check on something.” She said and he shook his head.

“Oh, s’nothing crazy. Just a review I was waiting for, Eddie said he’d reach out about it.” He said and she hummed, “Alright, make yourself comfy I’ll be back soon.” He assured and she proceeded with her routine.

In the time that he was gone his phone powered back on and as soon as it did, it chimed with a message. Y/N was just about to get into bed and just decided to check to see if it was the message he was expecting from Eddie. After the day they’d had she would be pleased to give Harry some good news. Y/N and Harry had never been private about their phones, so it wasn’t odd for her to just check his phone. She smiled upon seeing Eddie’s name on the screen and just pulled his phone off of the charger and opened it up to check his message. When she got into his messages app she accidentally opened a message that came in right then as Eddie’s was pushed down the queue on the screen and as she skimmed the beginning of it she felt her stomach twist and a lump to form in her throat as she continued to read what was on his screen…

She felt her dinner working its way back up her stomach. Her heart ached and her eyes welled up with tears as she tried to find some logical explanation as to what scenarios other than rough sex would lead to a woman having sore pelvic muscles and legs. She barely made it to the toilet when the wave of sickness hit her, and when she finished she hoisted herself up and flushed the toilet before heading over to the sink to brush her teeth once again. When she opened up the faucet her wedding ring shimmered in the light and she just took a long and calming breath before letting it out slowly. She didn’t know what this was…she needed to trust Harry. But he did appear kind of disheveled when he got home... She groaned and shook it out of her brain before brushing her teeth.

When she headed back into the room she quickly plugged his phone back in and hurried to her side of the bed and got in before her mind started to flick through the friends of his she’d met. She was trying hard to place a Chloe, but she wasn’t coming up with anything. She’d never heard of a Chloe…maybe Alyssa or Gemma would know? But before she could reach out she decided to just keep this to herself until she had actual proof of anything else remotely suspicious. But then again, the message hadn’t been addressed to Harry specifically…but then she said she was glad he was back in town…so it had to be to Harry. Once again she was picking at the skin at the sides of her thumbs as she got lost in this spiral and avoided lunging over to look at the message again. She just laid down and kept spiraling down her thoughts until Harry suddenly came in.

“Has my phone gone off?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, something came in from Eddie.”

“Sick.” He said as he hurried to his side of the bed and opened up his phone. She watched as his eyebrows arched up a bit as he glanced down at his screen but said nothing about it. The text was now read, so Harry knew Y/N’d seen that. He cleared his throat and just went to Eddie’s text message,“Ummm, TattooMaster is going to publish my tattoo and this review of my work and the shop in their September edition.” He shared with a smile. Y/N wanted to be happy at his news, but she was still really on edge and confused from the other thing she’d seen.

“Wow baby, that’s great!” She said as enthusiastically as possible.

“I know…shit.” He chuckled as he started typing away on his phone.

“So uh…do you have any friends that live nearby to us?” She asked and he turned to her.

“Ummm, not really. Why?” He asked, hoping that she’d just ask what he knew she wanted to ask, but instead she just shrugged.

“S’just that maybe if you had anyone close by you could hang out with friends when you need to get out of the house a bit, you know?” She said and he hummed, “S’just a thought.”

“Well sadly my last several years here were not my best and ummm…I kind of burned all of those bridges except for Eddie. And well, a lot of the old crew I worked with before I left are also doing their own thing, so not really anyone for me to hang out with apart from you guys. Not that I mind.” He explained. Hoping that by him saying that he was fully addressing her concern over that text from Chloe that he knew she’d seen. Y/N hummed in understanding. “OK, I’m gonna turn down the lights to let you get some rest.”

“Thanks.” She said as she settled into her pillow and prayed that she had the guts to ask about it if he didn’t say anything by the next day. She would just show him the message and ask him to explain - it wasn’t that hard, was it?

But the next day she wondered if she had been delirious and imagined that suspicious text when she’d glanced at Harry’s phone again because the message was gone. And then another thought came to mind…why would be delete the message?

She waited the rest of the week and nothing else ever came in from the number. If he had been with another woman then all evidence pointed towards this being a one time thing, probably a mistake that he never wanted to think of again - hence deleting the message. But then on Saturday morning he went for “a run” and came back with some pastries for her from a bakery she soon realized was in Hampstead, which was quite far for a run. It made absolutely no sense since he hadn’t taken the car. Later that night he received a new message from Chloe saying it was nice to “grab a coffee” and that was all she needed to confirm that he was in fact hanging out with someone else. Every time he’d go out for more than an hours he’d get a text that night and it’d be gone by the morning. He still hadn’t saved her number though, which was odd to her if they were just friends. She had never been a paranoid person, but she was starting to become that way and she felt like she was going crazy.

… JUNE …

She was 35 weeks now, the Sunday roast was taking place at their house and Y/N was a bit concerned about how things would play out. Harry had been off, just something was off with him since he started hanging out with his new friend a few weeks before. He had been drinking throughout the afternoon and was being a lot more crass in his humor and had regained an arrogance that she hadn’t experienced since the first few months they had known each other. Almost like he was going backwards. She needed to say something because she was losing her mind trying to figure this out. She didn’t want him to think that she was accusing him of something because she really had no proof of anything, but he just wasn’t himself.

“God Harry, help your wife!” Gemma scolded as Y/N tried to push herself out of her seat, she needed to do something about this. Harry turned to her and saw her back arched as she tried to get up, the seat was a bit lower than she thought. He immediately stood and helped her up and she smiled at him.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, love.” He hummed.

“Baby, can I use your phone?” She asked and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Ummm why? For what?” He questioned her and that was an immediate red flag, he never cared before.

“I can’t seem to find mine and I was supposed to call G, he wanted to run through his anniversary dinner plans with his man really quick.” She said. “I just want to find it, I’m gonna call from mine, don’t worry.” She said and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Ummm sure. Yeah, of course.” He said before getting it out of his pocket and she grabbed it and typed in his password and it was wrong? “Oh, sorry forgot to mention I changed it. Archie knew it and downloaded a shitload of games on it and-”

“It’s fine, Harry. You don’t need to justify it to me. I trust you.” She said as she looked into his eyes and he frowned a bit.

“Right.” He chuckled and he took it and she wasn’t sure if it was subconscious or not, but he brought it up, out of her line of sight so that she couldn’t see the new password.

“Thanks. I’m gonna go look for my phone.” She said and he nodded as she headed back inside. She really was just going to call G, because she needed to talk about this with someone who was too far to start a fight over this with him. But seeing him hide something from her, whether he realized it or not, pushed her slight doubt in him into complete mistrust. She was going to call this Chloe chick.

***********

She had called Chloe and unfortunately, Chloe had done nothing but stoke the fires of Y/N’s feelings of betrayal. Chloe played coy, like she didn’t know he was married, but that obviously wasn’t the case when she slipped up on a few things, like knowing about her being pregnant and then mocking her that he hadn’t even lasted a year without being able to cheat on her. Y/N had learned 3 things from this conversation. Well it was more like rampage for Chloe. But she now knew Chloe was his ex-girlfriend. She knew that Chloe was clearly not of sound mind or psychologically stable in any capacity. And she knew for a fact that Harry hadn’t slept with her. Chloe was trying too hard to convince Y/N of something she knew wasn’t the truth. The Harry she described was nothing like Harry that Y/N had married. Maybe it was the Harry Chloe had known years ago and something like the one Y/N had first met, but it wasn’t at all like him now.

He had been sneaking off with his ex though. And he was still actively hiding it and lying about it which was worrisome to Y/N. Maybe he missed her? Or had started to like her again? Maybe seeing her again just made him realize that what he had at home wasn’t enough? It made her feel that way given everything he had told her already about feeling trapped and clearly he had been talking to Chloe about how he was feeling because she was throwing it back in her face and was not even hesitating to twist the metaphorical knife. Y/N refused to be manipulated by this woman though, she would not give her the satisfaction.

“Well, thank you for telling me all of that, Chloe. I guess Harry and I have a lot to talk about-”

“Open the door, Y/N.” She heard Harry through the door and she bit her lip nervously. Maybe she had taken it too far by calling Chloe but she just needed to know what was going on there because he wasn’t telling her. Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat, barely hearing what Chloe was saying to her now.

“-I just think you need to stop kidding yourself. You seem like nice girl and he’s just not the person you think he is. I know you might be angry at me for being the one to tell you this but you deserve to know.” Chloe said playing sympathetic, Y/N could already hear the victory in her voice though and she couldn’t let this person get away with feeling like she’d won.

“Right, well this conversation was actually very enlightening. Thank you so much for looking out for me.” She responded sarcastically and immediately hung up the call before she could say anything else. She did feel bad for going behind Harry’s back but it had to be done. She was about to have his baby, she needed to know if he was in this with her or out. Y/N walked the few steps towards the bedroom door and took a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling. Time to face the music.

… TO BE CONTINUED …

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strawberrysatellite · 6 months

Text

i did one thing right

inspired by taylor swift’s call it what you want

word count: 2.9k

Y/N and Harry met in October.

It was one of those super cliche Halloween meet cutes. But it was that Halloween party that brought them together, so they supposed the cliches weren’t all that eye roll worthy.

Truthfully, they already knew of each other; Y/N was what she likes to call a semi-influencer (she had a few hundred thousand followers- enough to make a living off of- but never really liked grouping herself with other influencers considering most of the ones she had met always looked down on her for not having millions of followers, and were known to be less than stellar people) and Harry was a tattoo artist. They followed each other because of some mutual friends who mentioned Harry to Y/N in passing after she had spoken about wanting to get a tattoo at some point.

So the two knew of each other’s existence, liked a few of the other’s posts, but had never actually met before that night.

Y/N was so glad to be going to a party that wasn’t brand funded or overflowing with other influencers. Don’t get her wrong, she was eternally grateful that she was in the position she was; being an influencer meant she was able to work whenever, wherever, and didn’t have half of the stresses as people with more conventional jobs. All she had to do was post her little youtube videos talking about her favourite books or the clothes she’s been wearing recently, share pictures on her perfectly curated Instagram, and make TikToks with trending songs in the background.

But it got so exhausting sometimes.

She felt like she was constantly performing, putting on a face for people to judge and critique. People seemed to forget that there was a real person behind the virtual image she portrayed; the amount of hate comments she received were nowhere near what she assumed other content creators got, but there were enough daily to where it got to her sometimes. Just because she chooses to put out content for people, doesn’t mean that she’s giving them permission to give opinions on every detail of her life.

It’s like she’s constantly just floating in this liminal space, trying to bend over backwards to please her followers whilst also trying to stay true to herself.

That’s one of the things most important to Y/N- being as true to herself as possible. After meeting more than her fair share of other influencers, she knows that most of the time the kind and polite image they project online is completely contradictory to their actual personalities.

The last thing she would ever want is someone thinking she was rude. It gives her nightmares just thinking about it. Especially considering she worked in hospitality through university before she gained an online platform, so she’s had more than enough rude encounters with the general public (and she also understands how important it is to be kind to people. And to always tip waiters.).

So really, Y/N was just happy to shed her ‘online’ persona for a couple of hours and be around her friends without feeling the need to perform for anyone or please them.

Also, she really really loved Halloween and was super excited to dress up as Juliet from the movie with Leo DiCaprio, complete with silky white dress and clip on angel wings. It was casual enough to where she didn’t feel like she was going overboard, but dressy enough to where she still felt in the Halloween spirit.

When she actually got to the little pub where Sarah had told her the group was meeting, she was met with the sight of Sarah and her long time boyfriend Mitch sat in a corner booth and dressed as Velma and Shaggy from Scooby Doo, complete with bright orange turtleneck and coke bottle glasses.

“Look at you guys! Cutest couple I ever did see!” Y/N manages to get her words out through laughs- she doesn’t think she’s ever seen Mitch in anything but black, nevermind puke green.

“Yeah, laugh it up.” Mitch’s eyes roll but he gives her a slight smile and a warm hug. That’s a secret between him and Y/N- Mitch is secretly a huge hugger. He just has to be either high or slightly tipsy to come anywhere close.

“Look at you, honey! Real life angel.” Sarah’s warm tone interrupts Mitch’s grumbling, her eyes crinkling with a smile behind her fake glasses and full fringe.

“Thank you, thank you. I do try.” Y/N curtsies and nearly falls about in giggles. “I’m gonna go get a drink and mingle, think I saw Niall on the way in.”

She sets off through the packed pub after a wave to the couple at the booth, trying to avoid knocking into people with her slightly inconvenient wings.

She likes this. Likes not being immediately recognised. Likes not being considered an internet celebrity. Likes being treated like a normal person. Loves being around people she can be herself with.

When she does eventually get to the bar, she finds another figure already talking with the bartender. From what she guesses, it’s a guy. An attractive guy.

Well, from the back of his head he seems attractive.

She guesses over 6 foot, with long hair down to his shoulders and a sheer black almost blousey shirt loosely buttoned. And the skinny jeans make him look like something straight out of a tumblr post.

Through the chiffon fabric of his shirt she’s able to see the masterpiece that is his back. There must be well over a hundred tattoos collated across it, spreading down his arms and wrapping around his neck. Most- if not all- are monochrome, and only serve to make him look even more intimidating.

Kinda turns her on, if she’s being completely transparent.

Making her way next to him to wait for the bartender to be free, she somehow manages to bump him with her new temporary appendages, startling him enough to make him twist to see who it was.

When he does turn around, she’s greeted with his actual costume: a skull painted on one half of his face and only serving to accentuate the impossibly perfect structure of his face. He has model-worthy cheekbones and brows so furrowed he seems to have been born with a frown.

Upon seeing Y/N in her angelic fluster though, he softens up and a look of recognition flashes through his eyes.

“Oh, hi. Y/N, right?” He asks, as if he hasn’t looked at her Instagram more times than can be considered healthy. Like he doesn’t view her stories daily just to see what she’s interested in and which books she’s reading at that moment. Like he doesn’t get hot and blushy when he gets the little notification to say she liked one of his posts.

It takes her a minute to place him, having been slightly caught up in the aura he radiates, “Hi! Harry…right? God, I hope you are, otherwise I’ll look like such a massive bitch. Okay, even if you aren’t Harry, please just go along with it.”

Her world stops turning when she hears the chuckle he lets out at her anxious word vomit. Like, literally stops on its axis. She’s pretty sure she hears the screech of it skidding to a halt, the elevator music that plays in her ears after her brain turns to mush.

“No, love. I’m Harry, don’t worry.” An amused smile covers his face, endeared with her rambling that he’s familiar with after watching her videos where she rants about book characters and their “stupid, unrealistic actions” and why Gus Everett was actually the best book boyfriend ever (he had no idea who that was- just took her word for it) and why her favourite Starbucks drink is the best ever and how she’s so upset that it’s being taken off the menu because it’s seasonal.

A relieved breath whooshes out of her pouted lips, face now covered in a slight flush, “Oh, thank fucking god. How embarrassing would that have been? I’ve probably made it so much worse now, huh? Nice one, Y/N. Fucking idiot.” Her eyes roll at her own actions, words coming out as barely a mumble, and Harry’s smile just grows even more.

She’s cute when she rambles, he thinks.

“Honestly, don’t worry ‘bout it. Won’t mention it. Never happened.” His hand comes up to graze her shoulder comfortingly and a tangible spark passes between them, “D’ya want me to get you a drink? We can go sit with Mitch and them lot?” Harry secretly crosses in fingers in the hopes that she takes him up on his offer.

Her smile is wide and relaxed, looking up at him like he’d just gifted her a litter of kittens, “That would be so nice, thanks Harry. Listen, don’t judge me but my favourite drink is..”

As long as she keeps smiling at him like that, Harry doesn’t think it possible to ever judge her.

Their first date is kept casual and relaxed- which you wouldn’t be able to tell by the sweat Harry is currently working up just thinking about meeting up with her for an official date- and Harry decides to take her to the shop, named Satellite Studios, after a walk around Hyde Park and a stop in Pret to get chai lattes. She had been asking him for a while now to show her his tattoo shop and some of his sketches (yes, she had seen them on his Instagram, but she was on the pull and this was the one talking point she could think of at the time- also, she truly did want a tattoo, so this worked perfectly).

Harry didn’t expect that the date would end with him actually giving Y/N a tattoo, but here he was, perched over her and inking the skin of her collarbone. She had decided on a quote she lived by- ‘treat people with kindness’.

A month or so later, and the two are freshly into couple status, still just getting comfortable referring to the other as their significant other.

It’s late November by this point, and Die Hard (the first one, obviously) is playing on Harry’s TV while the two sit on his black velvet couch, Harry sprawled on one end whilst Y/N lays horizontally and props her feet up on his lap underneath a fuzzy blanket. Neither of them are that into the film, only putting it on to fill the silence, and so Y/N decides to scroll through Instagram to check the comments on her recent post.

She had actually really liked it; the picture was one Harry had taken of her when they went to Waterstones, a puffer jacket wrapped around her while she carries a stack of books and looks back at the camera, smiling wide and mid-laugh (she recalls his joke- something about being replaced by fictional men- and a tiny smile breaks on her face when she remembers how proud he looked at having made her laugh).

Only, that smile quickly disappears when she begins to read the comments.

Of course, there’s so many from her fans and other influencer friends being so sweet and love;y, complementing her and talking about how relatable the caption was (something along the lines of “a book for every situation”). But there were more rude ones than normal. Of course she was more than used to people being rude by this point, she had been a content creator for long enough now that she knew how to compartmentalise and ignore hate. But it was nearing her time of the month and she was feeling extra sensitive and seeing people talk about how annoying she seemed, or how she looked to be gaining weight, or how they just in general disliked her, really wasn’t what she needed.

A small sniffle makes Harry’s ears perk up and his head shoots towards his girlfriend- she wasn’t ill the last time he checked, why was she sniffl-.

His face completely drops when he sees the face of his sweet girl covered in tears, cheeks glistening and flushed, lips pouted and more pink than usual, eyes watery and glassy. “Hey, pretty girl, what’s up? Come on, talk to me.” He immediately leaps up and kneels beside her, hand cradling her cheek and thumb wiping under her reddened eyes.

She just shakes her head and frustratedly wipes her face, “Nothing, I’m just being stupid.”

Harry tuts at her and reaches up with his other hand, gripping her face gently but with enough strength to force her to look at him, “It’s not stupid if it’s making you cry like this, honey. Tell me what happened, babe, let me help, hm?” He doesn’t want to force her to talk if she truly doesn’t want to, but he can’t bear to see her so distraught and dishevelled.

Her face collapses at his gentle words, “I just- people are so mean. I don’t know what I did to deserve it. They’re so- it’s just,” A heavy breath is released from her cry-swollen lips and her head leans into his palm.

“I know, lovely girl. You didn’t do anything. Don’t listen to them, they’re just bitter and projecting onto anyone they can.” He feels anger flare in the bottom of his chest. How could anyone be anything but sweet to his lovely girl? The last thing he would ever want to do would be to make her feel as though he’s angry with her, so he reigns it in for her sake, but knows that he may have to go to the gym for an extra hour to let it out.

“I just wish I could get away from it all for a bit. Like I love my job- you know I do. But it just would be nice to run away for a bit.” The words come out sad, unenthusiastic- nothing like his girlfriend normally sounds- and it haunts him. He has to do something.

That’s how the two find themselves in Scotland for a month. Just them, their rented cottage in the Highlands, and Harry’s tiny black kitten, Pumpkin. Harry had booked them a train from Paddington Station to Edinburgh that same night when Y/N finished crying, wrapped up next to him in his black silk sheets with tear tracks still staining her face.

Harry figures he can trust Mitch to look after the shop whilst he’s gone, having saved enough days up to take off for a bit (and being the owner of the shop meaning he’s his own boss and can afford to) and he tells Y/N not to even open Instagram or YouTube or TikTok until they get back home, going so far as to delete them from her phone.

“Out of sight, out of mind, my petal.” He tells her with a kiss on the tip of her nose upon seeing her slight frown.

The couple spend every waking moment together, making breakfast together in the morning (or really, afternoon considering neither of them bothers with an alarm upon having nowhere to be) and eating it lazing on the couch with an old movie on in the background- Y/N has rediscovered how much she truly loves The Sound of Music after watching it nearly daily for a month. They take walks around the lake near their cottage, skimming stones and having competitions on who can throw one the farthest; usually Harry wins, but Y/N calls it unfair everytime because of the wingspan advantage and how strong his hands are after years of tattooing. Their favourite part is how they spend the week of Christmas: they take a train into Edinburgh city centre, go window shopping and wander around the markets, marvelling at the displays and thousands of twinkling fairy lights, Harry calls his mum from the cottage on Christmas Eve and lets her know he’ll be round in a couple weeks to drop presents off, and the two exchange gifts whilst sat next to the giant log burner fireplace.

Neither went too crazy on the other after having only been official for a little over two months, but Harry gifts Y/N a new Kindle (she had been complaining for months how hers was out of storage and “soooooooo” slow) and a delicate necklace with a silver ‘H’ pendant dangling from it.

“Not because I’m like claiming you, or some shit.” He hastily explains when he sees the furrow of her brows.”But I just- I know you, sweet girl, and I want you to have a little piece of me wherever you are.” Y/N’s lip trembles at his words and she nearly mauls him with how fast she tackles him with a hug.

“I love it, H. Thank you.”

Y/N in turn gifts him a vintage Fleetwood Mac vinyl that she had scoured every London flea market for and a new sketchpad with some pencils he had been eyeing for weeks but couldn’t justify buying himself.

When the two do eventually return home, Y/N’s phone is hit with an influx of comments from fans wondering where she had disappeared to and, instead of doing the (technically) right thing and answering their questions, she decides her next post will be a picture of the chain around her neck and Harry’s tattooed hand lazily draped over her shoulder and her tattoo on display. Unexplained, but enough to reintroduce herself onto the internet after people not having heard from her for months.

She tags him in the picture, leading to his already substantial following increasing rapidly, his page (‘satellitestudios’) being mostly pictures of his work and sketches, the occasional black and white filtered selfie or picture with a celebrity client (the one he brags about most being Dave Grohl), with the most recent post being a black and white picture of the bottom half of his face, bunny teeth on full show with Y/N kissing his cheek and captioned ‘kissy.’.

Of course her fans go wild, flooding her comments with questions and labels, rumours and timeline theories. She decides they can call it what they like, but she’s happy. So very happy.

#harry styles #x yn #harry x yn #love on tour #music #fleetwood mac #tattoo artist harry #influencers #harry fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #lhh #lhh!harry #halloween #romance

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overallrry · 2 years

Text

harry styles “tattoo artist” fics

✩ all credit to the authors ✩

series

aster (moonchildstyles)

full story masterlist

harry is a tattoo artist and y/n just wants to know if he’s like this all the time or if he just doesn’t like her

Y/N has a bookstore and Harry owns the shop next door (jawllines)

1 2

“Its a bit dark I suppose,” she admitted, waving her hand around lamely, “And the ceiling lights are more ominous than comforting at night and it feels more like an evil lair than a cozy bookstore.”

His smile only grows bigger, “See? M'not an all gloomy, knife on the wall, grunge monster – got me soft gooey spots too. Have a few art pieces I think you might like t–”

“Oi, don’t get too big for your britches, I don’t need an interior designer.” She nips him off but he doesn’t take any hurt from her words, only getting closer to her and raising the chair, moving it over a good chunk before setting it back down and holding onto it, nodding towards the chair and her face twists in confusion, “What?”

“Get on the seat then,” he pats on it, “If you won’t use me for my wonderful vision yet, then you can use me for my chair steadying hands.”

Y/N’s heart warms some, “Yet?” She repeats, plucking another nail out of the box and taking hold of the hammer again.

Harry shrugs, “Got hope you’ll come to your senses.”

one shots

missluckycharms

tattoo artist harry

jarostyles

indigo

finlinevogue

ink me

#tattoo artist harry styles #tattoo artist harry #tattoo artist harry styles fic recs #harry styles

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harryfeatgaga · 1 year

Note

tattoorry is lhh I'm sorry it's the only acceptable option

THIS IS TATTOORRY

#tattoorry #tattoo artist harry

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cupid-styles · 5 months

Text

only angel (tattoo artist/plug harry)

in which harry owns a tattoo shop, sells weed on the side, and has a big crush on y/n, a shy virgin who's very much enamored by him.

here is part one of tattoo/plug harry!!! I hope you like it :) please lmk if you'd like more from them <3

word count: 10.2k (!!!!)

content warnings: y/n's parents being unkind people, comments and discussions about weight/disordered eating, fainting (caused by a piercing), smut! (y/n's first time being fingered, dirty talk, harry being a soft dom)

masterlist | talk to me

part two

. . .

Y/N doesn't know why she's here.

If the glares from the employees of the tattoo and piercing shop are anything to go off of, they don't know why she's here either. And it all makes this whole thing even more embarrassing.

In reality, she does have a reason to be here. Mai, one of the few friends she's made in her grad school program, asked if she would drive her down to The Village for a tattoo appointment she had.

Y/N's eyes nearly bulged out of her skull when she asked, especially when she pressed for more details about this tattoo she was getting (it was a strawberry just above her hip, which Y/N didn't quite understand considering she thought tattoos were supposed to be meaningful). But, ever the pushover, Mai ended up convincing her, going as far as getting her to come inside — the one boundary she had — and wait while she got it done.

(Thankfully, her parents had some benefit charity thing going on today, so they weren't concerned with Y/N's whereabouts or where she was taking the car they bought her on a Saturday afternoon.)

The shop, called St. Mark's Place Social Club (aptly named, she supposes, considering it's located on St. Mark's Place), is nice. Unlike what she imagined tattoo parlors would look like in her brain, the spot Mai chose to get tattooed at seems sanitary and actually quite trendy.

It's not wildly crowded with customers hustling and bustling around, but there's a few artists at work at their own small stations. The walls are painted a cozy forest green, all donning frames upon frames of, what Y/N assumes are, sheets of tattoo designs. The receptionist who checked Mai in even offered them some water, which Y/N thinks was very nice.

"Are you nervous at all?" Y/N asks quietly as they sit in the rattan chairs in the waiting area. Mai's filling out some questionnaire on an iPad, but she shakes her head at her question, crossing her legs.

"No, not really," she murmurs nonchalantly, "I have a few tattoos already and I've been here before. The artist that's doing it is really cool and he's so hot."

Y/N's mouth forms around an oh as Mai quickly taps her signature into the tablet. She stands from the rickety chair and walks back over to return it to the front, her heeled boots clacking against the wood floor as she does.

Y/N has her gaze set low in her lap, eyes passing over her fresh manicure (her mother has a standing weekly appointment for her). She doesn't even notice that someone's standing over her — more so, towering over her — until the figure clears his throat, her head snapping up to address them. Assuming she's done something wrong (what it is, she isn't sure), she goes to apologize immediately, but the long haired man in front of her cuts her off.

"You have an appointment?"

Instantly, she flounders. Her mouth drops open as she stumbles over an answer: "I— um, no, I'm not— no, no appointment."

"So you're a walk-in, then?"

"N-no," she shakes her head quickly, his all-black outfit forming a blur in front of her eyes, "No, I'm not getting a tattoo."

The man laughs. He actually laughs at her, and Y/N doesn't know whether she should be embarrassed or pleased that she's made this very attractive man smile.

"You're sitting in a tattoo shop. You know that, right?" the stranger crosses his heavily tattooed arms over his chest, and Y/N's eyes fly to the swirls of black ink covering his skin. They're everywhere; all different fonts and images and numbers and... she wonders if he even knows what they all mean or how many he has.

"Yes," she finally manages out, folding her hands neatly in her lap. It's the default body language she goes to when she's nervous — when she was a teenager, her parents paid for her to go to social etiquette classes, and the instructor told her that this was a good way to show that she was in control of her actions, even if underneath her pastel pink turtleneck, her chest was covered in hives. "No, I'm not getting a tattoo. I'm here with someone getting one."

Thankfully (though Y/N would've preferred it happening about two minutes earlier), Mai walks back over to them, a grin taking over her features when she spots the man talking to her.

"Harry!" she greets excitedly, and Y/N watches as his eyes flicker over to her, flashing a tight smile in her direction.

"Ah. This is who you're here with." he — Harry, apparently — says to Y/N. She doesn't know what she's supposed to say to that (if she's supposed to say anything), but any response is once again cut off. "Hey. You ready?"

She only now notices the gum wedged between his teeth, his jaw moving in a hypnotizing way. His tone appears to be far more clipped with Mai, but Y/N is fast to chalk it up to some fluke. Maybe the other employees mentioned something to Harry and they thought she was in the wrong place or something. That would make sense, she thinks.

"Yeah, all good. I'll see you in a bit, Y/N," Mai nods, swinging her bag over her shoulder, focusing her attention to Harry, "So listen, I'm going to a show in midtown tonight, I was thinking maybe after we finish up here we can—"

"Are you coming back with us?" Harry's eyes fall back onto Y/N, and it's only then that she realizes he's talking to her again.

"Uh... am I allowed to?"

He smirks. Y/N's chest feels like it may concave in simply from the sight.

"I own this place, so yeah, you're allowed to."

Mai's tapping her foot impatiently now, her hip popped out slightly with her arms crossed over her chest. "My appointment started a few minutes ago, Harry—"

"Okay," he says curtly, turning on his heel to face her, "Go in the back and get ready then. You know where my station is."

Both Mai's and Y/N's jaws drop at that, his snappy tone clearly not one to fight back on. Surprisingly, Mai does just that, turning around and walking back to where Harry has his things set up.

"You coming, then? Y/N, right?"

The teasing smirk is still painted over his features, as if he finds humor in outwardly rejecting Mai's advances. Y/N doesn't know why her heart beats a little bit faster at that, warmth spreading from her chest to the rest of her body as he continues gazing down at her.

"Y-yeah," she answers, grabbing her purse and standing up. "If it's not too big of a deal."

"Course not. C'mon, you can follow me."

. . .

Mai's tattoo comes out beautiful.

However, Y/N can hardly focus on the artistry and apparent talent because she's far too busy staring at Harry, who also looks beautiful while he works.

It's distracting, embarrassingly so, that she barely even registers when he's finished wrapping her new tattoo in some sort of clear wrap, sending her back up to pay. Quickly, Y/N scrambles to grab her things, realizing that she's once again left alone with Harry.

"What, running away so soon?" He asks as he cleans up his work station, spinning around to face her in his chair. He has that smirk on his face again — the one that simultaneously intimidates her and makes her entire body burst into flames — and anxiety begins to eat away at her, nervous of saying the wrong thing.

"I just— you're done. So I was gonna go."

"How do you know Mai?"

It bothers her somewhat that he ignores her, but being the subject of his intense glint, she shifts her stance from foot to foot, shrugging her shoulders.

"We're in the same grad program. We've had a few classes together." she answers obediently, clutching the strap of her purse closer to her shoulder.

"Mm," he hums, tossing some paper towels in the trash, "You sure you didn't want any tattoos today?"

Y/N's face erupts into a hot flush for the thousandth time today and she instantly begins to shake her head. "No. No, thank you, I mean. My parents would kill me."

"Your parents?" Harry asks, a slightly stupefied expression on his face. "You're in grad school. Surely you don't make decisions on your appearance based off of them."

He punctuates his sentence by giving her a once-over and she feels nervous under his gaze. She's never particularly felt good about her appearance. She's always just felt... neutral. She grew up with a mother who was constantly dieting, imparting weight loss tips on her every chance she got. When Y/N hit puberty, her father made comments about how grateful he was to finally see her drop the "baby weight". Even now, her mother critiqued her, making comments about how important it was to maintain a good figure; that she'd never find someone to spend her life with if she didn't take care of her looks.

So, all in all, it was safe to say that tattoos were extremely off the table for Y/N.

"It's complicated," she finally replies vaguely. She knows that most people in their mid-20s aren't as deep under the thumb of their parents as she is, but she wasn't lying when she said this — the circumstances weren't as black and white as she wished they were.

However, there was something she'd always been curious about, and she had seen the piercing rates out in the front of the shop.

"But, um— do you guys do piercings?" she follows up before Harry has a chance to question her parents any further.

"We do," he replies slowly, "Well, yeah, I do. Why, are you thinking about getting something pierced?"

She swears his eyes quickly glance to her chest, but just as quickly as she notices it, they're focused back on her face. She clears her throat, willing herself to have an ounce of self-confidence.

"I was wondering if I could get my ears pierced."

Harry quirks an eyebrow and stands from his chair. Her heart rate speeds up tenfold when he walks over to her, his hand reaching outward.

"May I?" he asks, pausing before he makes any movements. She nods, hoping he misses the way her throat bobs in nervousness. Gently, he pushes some of her hair behind her ear, taking a look at the lobe. He does it to the other one and she wonders if he can sense that she's holding her breath.

"Hm, you really don't have them pierced," he mumbles lowly, eyes flitting back to her face. "Yeah, we could do that if you'd like. You sure daddy won't get too pissed?"

He says it with a simper though she's not entirely sure why; she thinks if he understood the dynamic between her and her parents, he'd be more concerned than teasing. Nevertheless, she shakes her head.

"Like you said," she says softly, blinking as they stare back at one another, "I shouldn't make decisions on my appearance based on what they want."

His smirk breaks into a grin, and for the first time, Y/N feels like she's doing something right.

. . .

Y/N didn't think she would be this nervous to get her first piercing, but between the gorgeous man invading her space with a needle and the fact that Mai definitely won't want to be her friend anymore, she's feeling a little tense.

Before getting situated in the chair, Y/N said that she needed to tell Mai she'd be a bit longer, but Harry waved her off and told her he'd take care of it. Apparently, that just meant peeking his head out from his work station and yelling out to Mai that Y/N was busy and wouldn't be driving her home. (Y/N thinks she heard Mai practically stomp out of the shop.)

So now, she's spending her Saturday the last way she thought she would: With her eyes squeezed shot, anxiety making her heart thump far too fast in her chest, with a long-haired tattoo artist hunched over her body. He's so close that she can smell the woody fragrance of his cologne, and she has to resist breathing it in as she inhales deeply in an effort to calm her heart rate.

"Alright, you ready?" Harry asks lowly, his tone a groveled murmur that sends tingles down her spine. She nods, feeling particularly speechless from his closeness and her nerves. "'kay, I'm gonna count to three. Take a deep breath."

Y/N imagines he looks especially gorgeous right now, but she's too scared to open her eyes and see the needle he's about to puncture her skin with. Instead, she simply nods her head again, mentally preparing herself for the countdown.

"Breathe, dove," he says calmly. Her stomach jumps at the pet name but does as he says. "Good. Okay... 1, 2, 3."

She jumps from the bite of pain that stings her earlobe, instantly wedging her bottom lip between her teeth as he shushes her.

"It's alright, that was it," he murmurs, though she can still feel him at her side, carefully wiggling the earring into the newly formed hole. "Y/N? You okay?"

She blinks her teary eyes open and opens her mouth, willing her throat to push out a yes. Instead, Harry's face goes blurry as the images in front of her get hazy. In a panic, she tries to stand, the ringing in her ears sending loud alarms to her brain. She thinks she hears Harry tell her to sit down, his strong arms taking a hold of her own — but that's when everything goes dark.

. . .

Harry's known this girl for all of two hours, and he's never felt panic ravish his body the way it did when she passed out a few minutes ago.

Thankfully, she comes to less than two minutes later (he counted), but he remains by her side the entire time, gently stroking her hair back. As a professional tattoo artist and piercer, he's of course had people faint under the needle, but it's never happened from just a standard ear piercing.

He supposes he maybe should've prepared himself for this. The sweet girl who accompanied Mai didn't look like she belonged at St. Mark's Social Club, but the moment his eyes zeroed in on her, he felt pulled to her. From the pastel pink top that stretched over her chest to the white ribbon tied in her hair, she was the opposite of any girl he's ever been attracted to — and yet, all he wanted was to tuck her under his arm, pull her into his chest, and spend the rest of his life protecting her.

Harry tells himself he's being stupid; some lovesick nerd that just needs to get his cock touched, but as he watches her slowly nurse a cup of water, warmth returning to her complexion, every doubt is thrown out the window.

"I'm so sorry," Y/N pouts, lifting a hand to run through her hair, "I'm... I feel so stupid, I'm so sorry, Harry."

"Why are you apologizing?" he asks through furrowed brows. "It's not your fault. People pass out all the time here, you have nothing to be sorry about."

"Y-yeah, but this is annoying... you probably have another appointment coming up and—"

"I don't."

"Yeah, but—"

"Y/N?"

"What?"

"Stop it."

She huffs, but the apologies stop after that. With his arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against the wall, he watches to make sure she finishes her water. He can tell she's still feeling embarrassed and it bothers him that she thinks of herself as something to feel sorry about.

"Y'know, kinda looked like some kind of badass Sleeping Beauty while you were passed out," Harry says with a smirk, making her eyes widen, "Pretty cute, if you ask me."

Y/N's face warms and he chuckles, deciding that making this girl blush is his new favorite past time.

"You're being silly." she mumbles, finishing off the water with a final swig. He shakes his head and takes the empty cup from her hand, tossing it in the garbage can behind her.

"Would never lie to you, dove. We're going on what, three hours of knowing each other? I wouldn't even dream of it."

"Harry," she whines and it makes him immediately grin, especially as she pushes her bottom lip out in a slight pout, "Shush, stop it."

"Think I should just call you princess from now on, hm? Such a pretty face coming in here, think I got lucky having you pass out on me."

He laughs loudly when her lips part, her jaw slack from the compliment. She doesn't have a comeback for that one, but he assumed as much. He turns to face the cabinets behind him and grabs a paper towel and a pen, quickly scrawling out his number on it before handing it to her.

"This is my number. I'm not gonna do your second piercing today 'cos that sounds like a recipe for disaster, but I want you to text me when you wanna come in and get it done," he explains, "I only work here on the weekend, but I'll come by any day you're free, princess."

She shuffles her feet before nodding her head, stuffing the paper towel in her bag. "O-okay. That sounds good."

"Good," Harry breathes, reaching out to for her hand to help her up, "Do you need a ride home?"

"No!" her eyes dart away from his face, blinking quickly as she focuses on the dark green walls. "Um, no, thank you. You've done enough for me today. I appreciate it, Harry."

"Sure," he says slowly, narrowing his eyes at her, "Okay, well... get home safe for me, alright?"

"I will." she nods and punctuates her sentence with a harsh swallow. "Can I... is it okay if I text you when I get home?"

A gentle smile wiggles its way onto Harry's face, warmth filling his body once again.

"You took the words right out of my mouth, princess."

. . .

To: Harry (St. Mark's Social Club)

hi, im home!! im so sorry again for what happened but thank you sm for making sure i was okay. hope it wasn't too inconvenient!

Y/N's never texted a boy she has a crush on (well, except for Jason Saunders in the 8th grade, but her dad found out within the hour and made her delete his number as he watched). She thinks she must still be lightheaded from fainting because there's no way she can seriously have a crush on someone she barely knows, but nonetheless, she pushes herself to message him to at least thank him for everything he did for her.

She sighs as she throws her phone in her purse and climbs out of her Range Rover. Locking the doors, she crosses her fingers as she walks up the stairs and to the elevator of the luxury garage, pressing the penthouse button on the panel. She hopes her parents are still out — if they're home, she'll be on the receiving end of their badgering for the rest of the evening, and she still wants to work on a paper she has due later next week.

When the sleek elevator doors open, she's met with silence — the only telltale sign that she's alone, with the exception of her parents' private chef and maid. Relief floods her body as she steps out and into the apartment, toeing her shoes off in the entryway and taking quiet steps to her bedroom.

She's exhausted from the day, flopping down on her bed with a sigh. Mindlessly, she feels for her phone in her bag, pulling it out to scroll through Instagram before she commits to doing work for the rest of the night. Instead, she's met with not one, but two texts from Harry.

Remember what I said about apologizing, princess?

Glad you made it home safely. Don't forget to text me about your second piercing — just name the day and I'm there. xx

She wants to let out a squeal, even if there's a large part of her brain that's constantly reminding her to limit her excitement. He's probably just being polite, she says to herself.

Still, it doesn't stop her from replying a mere moment later, promising to restrain her apologies and message him when she's ready to get her other ear pierced.

. . .

"Where were you yesterday?"

Y/N blinks at her father as she sets down the spatula, shifting her attention from the buckwheat pancakes she's currently cooking.

"Studying on campus," she replies easily, even if she had to coach herself all night to lie. She's never one to fib, let alone to her parents — she's always felt some type of fear when it comes to her father, but she knows he never would have approved if she gave him some vague answer about taking a friend to an appointment.

He lets out a noncommittal humph. "You know there's no reason for you to be getting a masters degree when you'll just work at the company when you graduate."

Her stomach tightens. It's a frequent area of contention between she and her parents — their dream for her has always been to work at their jewelry company as soon as she graduated college, but she somehow managed to convince them to entertain her wish to go to graduate school for an English degree. They told her she could do it as long as she starts at their office as soon as graduation comes around.

She hasn't quite yet figured out how she's getting out of that one. If she even can.

"I know, father," Y/N forces out, redirecting her attention to flipping the pancakes on the pan. "It's just important that I get good grades."

"I can't imagine it's very difficult. You speak the language."

She bites her tongue. Her parents have never understood her love for books, always scolding her for having her head in the clouds from a young age. If she's being honest, books have served as a way for her to escape, always wishing she could be the girl getting whisked away by her romantic interest.

Things always worked out in her books. Potentially having a happy ending like the ones she reads about is the only thing that keeps her going sometimes.

Her mother, looking pristine as always even at 9 in the morning, enters the kitchen just as Y/N's sitting down to her eat. Turning stiffly, her eyes narrow at her daughter.

"Those better not be full fat, Y/N." she says, jabbing her pointer finger at her plate.

"They're not." Y/N says softly.

In response, she simply hums. "I don't understand why you don't just have Freya make you food. She's there for a reason."

Y/N quickly stuffs a bite of pancake into her mouth, shrugging her shoulders as she slowly chews. She's never felt comfortable requesting their chef make her anything to eat when she was perfectly capable of doing it herself.

"Don't shrug. It's not ladylike," she scolds, Y/N's posture immediately straightening, "We have a lunch meeting with the Franklin family today. If you're available, you should come. You need to start learning the business."

"I have to work on a paper," the lie rolls off her tongue, knowing full well that she nearly finished it last night, "Finals are coming up. School is getting very busy."

"You know, Y/N, you're lucky we grant you all this freedom." her mother spits, the high heels of her Louboutin shoes clacking against the marbled flooring. "One day, you're not going to have this much of a choice in how you spend your time."

Despite only eating half a pancake, Y/N no longer feels hungry. Instead, she just nods her head and rolls her lips into her mouth.

"You're right. Thank you for everything you do for me."

She clears her dishes and goes back to her bedroom before her parents have a chance to see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

. . .

Y/N spends the better part of Sunday crying in her bedroom.

She's so exhausted of this cycle. Her parents work so hard to tear her down all the time, never once taking into account what her dreams and aspirations are. She feels like she can't do anything right, as if nothing she'll do will ever please them.

In her fit of anger and sadness, she decides she needs to leave Harry behind. He's just a pipe dream, a tiny little sliver of what her life could be if she had less restrictive parents. That night, when she's laying awake in bed, she decides that in the morning, she'll take the fresh piercing out and throw the earring away, delete his number, apologize to Mai, and pretend like this weekend never even happened.

That is the plan, anyway.

Until she wakes up to her alarm at 8 am and she has an unopened text from him, and her heart beats in a way that she's never truly felt before. She doesn't think she's ever smiled this wide after just waking up, the mere appearance of his name on her screen sending waves of hope and happiness throughout her body.

From: Harry (St. Mark's Social Club)

How's the piercing holding up?

After getting home on Saturday, he texted her a series of care instructions for the piercing, instructing her to clean it twice a day, twist the earring, and let him know if anything felt off. She wasn't sure what it was, but she felt particularly giddy when he told her what to do.

To: Harry (St. Mark's Social Club)

good!! no pain or anything and ive been doing what you told me to :)

She has a class at 10 this morning and she knows she should follow her typical routine of a shower, breakfast, and getting ready, but instead, she just lays back in the fluffy tufts of her bedding, smiling to herself as she waits for Harry to text back. A minute or so later, her phone vibrates.

Good girl.

Think you'll come in for your second anytime soon?

Her stomach twists in a delicious way but she's not sure why. There's nothing inherently sexual about what he's messaged her, but it has her craving more, a steady heartbeat forming somewhere deep in her core.

Her eyes read over his question and she bites her lip. She knows that less than 10 hours ago, she was planning to forget Harry, but the feeling he gives her is addictive. She doesn't want to stay away — so she won't.

yeah, if you don't mind doing it :)) maybe today?

In reality, she doesn't want to go under the needle again so soon, but she's craving to see him. He did say he'd come in any day for her.

Harry: I'd love to. What time are you free?

Y/N: i have classes from 10 to 1 today.. would 1:30 work? i can come by on my way home from campus

Harry: How about I meet you at your last class and we walk to the shop together?

Y/N swears her heart is going to beat right out of her chest. Her parents have never allowed her to hang out with a guy outside of anyone they approved of — over the years, they've attempted setting her up with other men of their same financial and social stature, but Y/N was never interested. As a result, they all grew bored of her by the second date, and her parents would yell at her for not being appealing enough.

She doesn't know if Harry will be bothered by the same thing, but she wants — no, she needs — to find out.

Y/N: okay:)

Harry: Great. Can't wait to see you. x

. . .

Harry knows he's pushing it.

This girl may as well have wealthy virgin tattooed across her forehead, but he just can't get himself to stay away. It doesn't seem like she wants him to either, which just makes it harder. And as he's waiting for her outside of her lecture hall on a campus he's never even step foot on, he realizes that they're from very, very different universes.

That doesn't really bother him. He can see the obvious differences — he wears all black, has over 70 tattoos (most of which were impulsive or practice while he was apprenticing), and gives people tattoos and piercings for a living. Y/N is smart and soft; an English major in graduate school, lives with her parents, and drives a car that costs more than his yearly rent.

He's not blind. Although, if he was blind to pretty, innocent girls, he probably could stop walking around with a permanent boner from thinking about how gorgeous she'd look in his bed.

The only thing that can tear him from his thoughts is the sight of her. He watches as she walks through the doors of the building, a slight pep in her step when she notices him, waving her hand with a smile. He licks his lips absently, willing the arousal pooling deep in his stomach to go away.

"Hi," she greets as she approaches him, "How're you?"

"I'm good." he answers, trying his best not to let his eyes wander over her outfit, "How was class?"

"'s okay. Kind of boring. Almost fell asleep once or twice."

"Yeah?" Harry chuckles as they begin to walk towards the nearest campus exit. "Gotta stay awake in those smarty pants classes of yours, princess."

He already knows she's blushing before he turns his head to see the familiar flush flower over her skin. He points to the bag over her shoulder, pausing his steps. "Lemme carry that for you."

"Oh— no, you don't have to, I don't want to be annoying—"

"Why would that be annoying?" he asks with a quirked brow. She swallows, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable."

"N-no, it wouldn't," she shakes her head and he nods, keeping his arm stretched out. She pushes the strap down her shoulder and hands the bag to him. "Thank you. That's very kind of you, Harry."

"What d'you have in here, a ton of bricks?" he asks teasingly as he slips the pink tote over his own shoulder.

"No! I have to bring books to campus every day so we can discuss certain passages and stuff. I guess I've been doing it for so long I didn't notice how heavy it is."

"It's very heavy, Y/N," Harry says, stuffing his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt, "No wonder you're falling asleep in class, you're basically doing an upper body workout on your way there."

"It's not that big a deal," she replies nonchalantly. "It's just— it's what my professors want, so."

He continues grumbling, annoyed that anyone would ask this girl to shuttle all this weight to campus every day.

"Can you start parking closer to your lecture halls, then? I don't wanna find out you dislocated your shoulder one day."

She shakes her head. "I don't drive to campus."

"Oh, is parking that bad?"

Y/N begins to fidget, wringing her hands out in front of her as they walk. Harry glances at her from his peripherals, soaking in the nervousness written all over her face.

"No... my parents don't let me drive to campus, that's all."

He hums, attempting to stay unbiased, even if everything he's learned about her so-called parents has only made anger rise in his chest.

"Do they have a lot of limits on things you can and can't do?"

"Kind of. I don't know."

"Is... is that something that bothers you?"

She worries her bottom lip between her teeth as they stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn. He shifts his body to face her.

"I've never really told anyone about how they are, but... well, they take care of me. They always have. They just have a very clear vision of what they want for me."

"Right," Harry nods, "Just because they care for you or pay for certain things doesn't mean they're good, though. I'm not saying they aren't— I just don't want you to confuse the two."

"I guess."

He decides to leave it at that, mainly because he can she's growing uncomfortable, but also because they're approaching the shop. He pushes the door open and holds it for Y/N, who sheepishly walks in, Harry close behind.

He doesn't acknowledge anyone as she follows him to his station, but she supposes it's not out of the ordinary for him to do these things since he's the owner. Once they're safely sheltered by the walls of his space, Y/N lets out a breath, sitting down in the chair she was in on Saturday.

After setting her bag down, he washes his hands at the sink. A long-haired guy pops his head in, grinning when he sees Y/N.

"Hey, H," he greets, "Didn't know you'd be here today."

Harry's tone is gruffer towards the man, even though he seems friendly. "Yeah. What's up?"

"I need a favor. I have an appointment that looks like it's gonna take a little longer than anticipated — last minute changes and all that to the design, but Jude is coming in to pickup at 2. You mind dealing with him?"

He glares at the man before assuming what Y/N is starting to call his signature pose — arms crossed over his broad chest, leaning back against some surface in his station (today, it's the tattoo bed).

"None of the other idiots can do it? Kinda busy."

"It's your off day, figured you could handle him," he shrugs, "Unless you'd like to introduce me—"

"Shut up." Harry replies, clenching his jaw. A spark zips up Y/N's body, though she's not sure why he seems to take offense to the man's words. "Yeah, I'll deal with it. What does he want?"

"Just some edibles and a few grams of bud. Nothing crazy."

Again, Y/N doesn't miss the way Harry shoots a glare at him, who simply raises his hands in mock defense. As if speaking through some sort of secret language, he backs out of the room, his Adidas sneakers sounding crisply against the wooden floors as he walks away.

"Sorry," Harry mumbles.

"Oh. It's okay."

He turns back around to look at Y/N, who somehow looks even smaller in the chair since they arrived.

"You have no idea what that was about, do you?"

She shrugs, though it's clear that Harry's right. She doesn't often like showcasing her naive nature, like it's some sort of party trick for people to laugh at. It makes her feel sad, a reminder of the "normal" years she could have had if not for her parents.

He sighs and lifts a hand to run through his messy hair. "A few of us sell weed on the side here. It's not really a big deal, but we just do it for some extra cash on the side. I would've rather told you on my own time, though."

Y/N's palms find her thighs, plucking at the hem of her skirt as she swallows, digesting the information. Weed? Her parents had always taught her that all drugs were bad. In their minds, weed was just as bad as heroin, but when Y/N read about states legalizing the former, she didn't quite understand how that made sense.

"I hope that doesn't make you think any differently of me," he continues. "I'm sorry."

She keeps her eyes set in her lap, "Is weed... bad?"

She's expecting him to laugh at her but instead, when she looks up, she's met with a small, adoring smile on his lips. His eyes twinkle just a bit as he shakes his head.

"No, it's not bad, dove. What do you know about it?"

"Nothing, really. I know it's legal in some places but my parents always told me to stay away from any drugs."

"I think a lot of parents do that," Harry replies with a nod, "But it can actually be really helpful for people. Mentally, physically. And others just like it, they enjoy the feeling of being high."

She swallows before biting her lip. "Do you... do you like it?"

"I do." he says. "Is that okay?"

She thinks he could tell her he's a serial killer and she would be okay with it.

"Yeah. 's okay."

His grin widens. "Alright. Lemme get you settled with this other piercing. I'll have to step out to sell to Jude at 2, but after that, do you wanna grab something to eat?"

She nods so fast she feels like a bobblehead. A chuckle — the warmest, most melodic thing Y/N thinks she's ever heard — sounds from his mouth.

"Just don't pass out again on me, Sleeping Beauty."

. . .

Y/N takes her second piercing much better than her first.

(And by that, she means she only teared up a little bit, and no fainting occurred.)

She's actually more nervous about the whole weed... thing. She feels torn. There's a half of her that feels intimidated by it; the part that still has a foot stuck in her parents' world, she supposes, where they taught her to never even look at people like Harry. The other half of her is intrigued to see what happens. Fascinated by him, maybe, and the way she feels when she's around him, and she doesn't know whether that's a good thing or not.

"Harry!"

Someone calls his name from the main room as he's cleaning up and he peeks his head out.

"Yeah?"

"Jude's here!"

He looks a lot less flighty about it than she assumes he would. Instead, he simply walks back into his station and unlocks a bottom cabinet to reveal a safe inside.

"Know you're watching, princess," he says, turning his head to flash a toothy smirk in her direction. She looks away, blinking nervously. "Don't reveal any of my grand weed secrets to anyone, hm?"

"I'm not," she huffs, making him chuckle, "I'm just... curious."

Harry hums, pulling contents out from the safe. When he's done, he doesn't even bother concealing any of the weed he's just taken out, instead just rising to his feet.

"I'll be right back. We can talk about the curiosity in a second."

Y/N's not snappy enough to come up with a response so she simply watches him walk away. She's only seen drug deals go down in movies and TV shows, where they're dramatic and part of the mob and guns are a necessity. She doesn't think this is one of those drug deals, but who is she to assume?

Surprisingly, Harry returns less than two minutes later with a small wad of cash in his hand. He pockets it, smiling at her when he sees she's still sitting there, the same perplexed look on her face.

"Steal any of my bud while I was gone?"

"Harry!"

He cackles and shakes his head. "Alright, dovie, c'mere."

Hesitantly, she stands, shuffling over to where Harry is back to kneeling on the floor. He looks up at her with an expectant expression, a wordless command to do the same. She does.

"Okay. You said you were curious?"

She nods.

"I've always found that the best solution to curiosity is knowledge. This doesn't mean you have to do anything, but it's good to know about things that may intimidate you," he explains. "So, weed can be found in a few different forms. I only sell flower, which are these little buds," he pulls out a container, showing her the small green nuggets. "And edibles, which is just candy or chocolate, stuff like that, with different levels of potency."

"Oh." Y/N furrows her eyebrows, a small wrinkle forming between them. "That's it?"

He chuckles, "Mhm. That's it."

"And what does it do?"

"Like how does it make me feel?"

She nods.

"It's different for everyone and strains — like, the types of weed — will affect people differently, too. For me, it just makes me a little more relaxed and giggly, more touchy and less in my head. It's nice."

"That does sound nice." she says softly. He hums as he pushes the container back into the safe, locking it back up in the cabinet. "Do you think I would like it?"

It's a question that kind of blurts out without thinking about it. When he turns to look at her, eyes serious and thoughtful, she feels small; the way everyone her age or older has always made her feel. She swallows harshly, immediately regretting it.

"I don't know the answer to that, but if you ever want to try, you can tell me. I'll make sure you have a safe experience."

It's not the answer she's expecting, but instead maybe the one that only exists in her wildest dreams. She looks down to hide her blush and he smiles to himself, ducking down to catch her eyes.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're a blushy little thing."

Her jaw snaps closed, wiggling uncomfortably at his blatant call out. Her mother always told her that her emotions were easy to read — she said it made her weak, though.

"I like it," Harry quickly amends, throat bobbing, "I like it a lot."

She thinks she notices his eyes zip to her lips, but just as quickly as they dart down, they're back up to her eyes. She swallows when she realizes they've somehow gotten closer, the distance slowly closing between them in millimeters. She doesn't know who's moving in — if it's him or her or both — but suddenly, she's looking up and his face is hovering over hers, blinking in silent permission. When she doesn't grant it because she's too nervous to speak, his tongue peeks out, licking over his raspberry lips.

"Is this okay?" He asks, minty breath ghosting over her mouth. "Can I do this?"

She nods, because she thinks any noise that would come out of her mouth would be just that — a sad excuse of a squeal. Her heart is pulsing in her ears, her hands trembling over her thighs, and then it happens — he presses his lips to hers, so gently it's almost like they aren't even there. The last time Y/N kissed someone, it was in ninth grade in the locker room after school, and she doubts it even qualified as a real kiss. This is different, though. This is Harry.

He feels the nervousness radiating off of her so he breaks away, despite the already addictive taste of her mouth. He's gone too quickly and it makes Y/N's heart rate quicken even faster.

"Need you to relax, princess." He says with his forehead pressed against hers. "Just follow my lead, okay? Promise it's not hard."

Embarrassed, she nods again, willing him to close the gap for a second time. This time, his lips are quick to move against hers, and it initially takes her by surprise. But she does what he told her to, mimicking his movements in tentative paces. With each passing moment, he's kissing her more and more breathless, and she lifts a shaking hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. It's a bold move for her and she swears she feels his signature smirk form into their kiss.

Time doesn't feel like it moves much when Y/N's mouth is on Harry's, but she knows it is because she needs a break to breathe. With panting lungs, she pulls away, watching as Harry's eyes flicker open. His lips are pinker somehow and swollen with spit. The image makes her core throb.

"Y'okay?" He asks. Y/N notices his pupils are darkened and he shifts from his seat on the floor, adjusting his lower half.

"Y-yeah," she nods, "Needed to, um, breathe."

He chuckles. "Yeah? Get a little dizzy there?"

"A little bit."

"Cute," he murmurs, lifting his thumb to swipe a bit of spit away from her bottom lip. Instinctively, her mouth opens, and she watches as his eyes flicker to hers. Through labored breath, he slowly moves his thumb along her plushy lip, resisting the urge to sink it inside. She's not sure why something as small as this is stirring her insides, but her eyes widen when he breaks away, pushing the finger into his own mouth.

"Oh." She breathes out.

"I don't wanna scare you," Harry whispers, "But I'm completely fucked when it comes to you, dove. If you don't want this... want me, I need you to go now."

She swallows. Slowly, she rises to her knees and inches towards him, closing the small gap that formed between their bodies. She's hesitant in her movements but pushes herself to straddle him, gently sinking her ass down into his lap. His eyes widen.

"I want this. I want you." She says.

"Good," Harry mumbles, brushing his lips against hers for the third time that afternoon, "Good."

. . .

Y/N thinks she could go pro at lying to her parents.

A month ago, she had to spend hours preparing the perfect fib, coaching herself on how to articulate it just casually enough so it didn't seem fabricated. These days, they come out like nothing.

I'll be home late, I have a group project to work on in the library.

I'm going to a tutoring session for one of my classes, I probably won't be home until dinnertime.

I'm spending some extra time on campus today so I can get a head start on a paper.

In all truthfulness, school couldn't be the furthest thing on her mind right now. Harry is.

Ever since that day they kissed at his shop, they haven't been able to spend more than a day apart. Mostly, they follow the same routine from that very afternoon, where he'll pick her up from her last class of the day and they'll walk back to St. Mark's together. Sometimes, Harry will have deals to do so they sit and talk in the downtime. Other days, he'll have actual work to tend to, accounting and whatever it is he does as a business owner, so she'll do some homework, enjoying the silent companionship. Y/N never stays too late into the evening, not wanting to push her luck with her parents, but Harry always sends her off with a kiss that leaves her breathless, making her promise to text him when she gets home.

And the kissing... yeah.

Y/N likes to think she's gotten better at it from all the practicing they've been doing. She still gets a bit flustered, but it's one of her favorite things to do with him. The second they shuffle into his station, Harry closes the door so they're finally in private, and it's like a switch is turned on. Within seconds, they're wrapped up in each others arms, mouths wet and hot against one another. She's discovered that her favorite place to be is seated in his lap while his tongue explores her mouth, breathy pants parting her lips. He loves to squeeze her ass over the pleats of her skirt, knowing that it riles her up in the smallest forms of contact — tiny rolls of her hips, nails being pressed into his skin, a slight pull of his hair.

She doesn't think things could get much better with Harry until today, during their typical makeout-and-grinding session, when he ducks beneath her jaw, pressing messy kisses to her soft skin. It's then that the words leave his lips.

"Can I feel you under here, dove?"

His hand is fisting the hem of her skirt and the low tone of his voice makes lightning zip through her body. She doesn't know how to reply — she wants to say yes, but her mouth is dry from immediate anxiety.

"N-no one's ever touched me there," she whispers, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Harry hums, unbothered, kissing her jaw once more before backing away slightly.

"Don't have to do if you don't want to. We can just keep doing what we've been doing if you'd prefer." he replies nonchalantly, his lips swollen. She swallows nervously, perturbed by his frank nature.

"I— I do want you to feel me," Y/N mumbles. It's not a lie — yes, she's a virgin who knows next to nothing about her body besides its reproductive process, but sometimes, when she goes home in the evening, she thinks about what it would like to keep going. She's seen movies and TV shows, but those have only made her even more curious. Sometimes the guy takes it slow and makes it romantic, other times it's painful and uncomfortable. She can only hope Harry would take care of her.

"Where, princess?"

Well, she can only hope that Harry would take care of her in his typical teasing ways.

Huffing, she shakes her head. "I can't say that, H."

"Can't touch you if I don't know where you want it," he murmurs, kissing her cheek lightly. "Wanna hear you say it. Ask me."

"Harry," she whines. "Please? You know... where."

"Here?" he asks, pressing his the warmth of his hand to her thigh. "This where you want me?"

"No."

"Hmm, how about here?" he moves his hand up just a bit further, inching underneath the fabric of her mini skirt to the crease of her thigh. Again, she shakes her head.

"Dunno where you want me then, dove. Thought you were my good girl."

"H-higher." she mumbles, attempting to push her body closer so he gets the hint.

"Higher?" he echoes with a smirk, "Here?"

This time, his fingertips have found the waistband of her panties. It immediately feels wrong, but not because of who's touching her, but rather the act of it. She takes a deep breath and tries to ignore the voice in her head. Slowly, in an act of false confidence, she bunches the fabric of her skirt up at her hips, watching as Harry's eyes widen. They instantly dart down to the small wet patch between her thighs and it makes him groan softly.

"Jesus," he mutters, forgetting about his little game. He gently thumbs at her clit through the material and she jumps. Using his other hand to squeeze her hip, he tries to keep her steady, mumbling out an apology. "Am I allowed to see this cute little pussy?"

She clenches at his question, surprising herself with how turned on she feels from just a few words.

"Yes," she nods, "Please."

"'Please'? Aren't you just the sweetest wet dream, hm?" Harry murmurs. He pushes the width of the fabric to the side, making Y/N shiver from the sudden exposure and being under his gaze. "Are you always this polite or is this just for me, princess?"

She licks over her lips when he parts her pussy with his ring and middle fingers. He hums, dipping a fingertip into her crease and lifting it to his mouth. He looks at her expectantly and she realizes she hasn't answered him yet.

"J-just for you."

"Pretty, swollen pussy just begging for attention. Do you always get this needy when we kiss?"

She nods, her eyelashes fluttering as he runs the tip of his pointer finger through her wetness.

A poor excuse for an answer sounds through her lips, the affirmative tone being the only thing that gives him an idea of what she said. He snickers boyishly, Y/N's jaw dropping when they both feel her pussy pulsate.

"I think my girl is a bit naughtier than I thought," he breathes, moving his finger back up to her clit to form slow, small circles. She gasps from the intensity, a new sensation of overwhelming pleasure that she's never received before. "Is that the truth, dovie? Do you wanna be my naughty girl instead of my polite one? Tell me."

"Harry," she mewls, arching her back to press deeper into his touch, "P-please— feels really good."

"Yeah?" he smirks, a mocking tone to his voice that makes Y/N squeeze her eyes shut. "Yeah, does it feel really good?"

"You're— you're being mean—"

"Oh, I don't think so, dove. I think I'm letting you use my fingers to get off, petting this pretty little clit until you cum all over my hand. I don't think that's mean, do you?"

He stops stroking at her and her eyes snap open. She can feel how warm her face has gotten under his touch, quiet puffs of breath ghosting over his lips as his eyes twinkle, knowing what he's done.

"Why'd you stop?" she asks in a small voice.

"You said I was being mean," Harry replies with a shrug, "If I were really mean, I'd leave you here high and dry. Do you want to learn about edging today, Y/N?"

She shakes her head, her bottom lip pushed out in a pout. He hums and lifts his hand to his mouth, his pink tongue darting out to swirl around the fingers that were just caressing her. She watches him with wide eyes. She doesn't think she's ever been this turned on in her life.

"Do you like when I tease you?" he asks lowly. They both know the answer — her body couldn't lie even if she wanted to, and Harry noticed it the second he felt her pussy clench against nothing at his mocking tone.

"Y-yes." she whispers.

"Dirty girl," he murmurs, moving both his hands down to her hips to give them a squeeze. He tightens his hold on her and gently moves her up to the tattoo bed, helping her lay down. "We have all the time in the world to learn about what makes your pussy wet, but right now, I wanna make her cum. Can I do that, dovie?"

Y/N nods, allowing him to adjust her body however he wants. He smiles at how pliant she is for him, sticking to her good girl demeanor.

"Need you to tell me if I go too far or if something doesn't feel right, okay?" he reminds her as he fits himself between her thighs, "At any point, you say stop and we do, no questions asked."

"Yeah. Okay."

It's apparent to her that Harry is experienced, because it takes no time for him to wiggle his fingers back to their initial position. His thumb is applying the smallest bit of pressure to her clit, still sensitive from when he was playing with it before, but now he's circling over her hole with one of his larger fingers. She gasps at the slight intrusion.

"Have you ever put your finger in here, princess?"

She shakes her head. "N-no."

"Do you want me to?" he asks, though he can already feel the way her hole is all but sucking him in, "It won't hurt. Promise."

She trusts him — maybe foolishly, because she knows her parents would disown her if they knew the position she was in right now — but she pushes the thought to the back of her head, instead simply answering his question with a nod. He keeps his eyes on hers as he slowly pushes in, a gasp instantly falling from her plushy lips. Her immediate reaction is discomfort, but as he starts to stroke at something towards the back of her walls, it feels... good. Overwhelmingly good. So good that a loud moan frees itself from deep in her chest and he jumps up, gently pressing his other hand over her mouth. He ducks down and presses a kiss to the shell of her ear.

"Know I'm making your little hole feel so good, but there's other people here. I wanna keep those moans just for myself, okay?"

Her eyes roll back as he continues to pump his finger inside of her, the assault on the magic little spot never stopping. She can sense the smirk that's likely formed on his face but she can't find it in her to care because she's never, ever felt this good before. She whimpers against his palm and he groans quietly, the sight of his gorgeous girl writhing beneath him nearly too much to handle. He wills his own raging hard-on away, instead focusing on Y/N's need to cum before he can even consider getting himself off.

"H-harry," she sounds beautiful mewling his name even when it's muffled by his hand, "I feel— I'm—"

"I know, dove, I know," he coos, quickening the loops around her clit. She's growing increasingly sensitive from his touch as her hole throbs around his finger. "Let go for me. Let go for daddy, lemme see that pretty pussy soak me."

Realistically, he would've preferred introducing her to the whole daddy kink thing on different terms, but he's instantly reminded of how insanely lucky he is when those are the words that push her over the edge. His jaw drops as he watches her squirm underneath his hands, riding out her orgasm and squeezing him in the most delicious way.

"Fuck, you're so fuckin' beautiful," he groans, unable to stop himself from lightly grinding his covered cock against her inner thigh. He can feel the warmth radiating off of her core and his desperation to feel her grows by the second.

When her orgasm finally subsides, she's panting heavily and he swallows, palming himself over his pants.

"Is this okay?" he asks breathily. Y/N raises up onto her elbows, her eyes growing a bit wide when she sees what he's doing. Despite how exhausted she is, she still nods, the curiosity of what he looks like when he comes steadily building inside her. "'s not gonna take me long — that was the prettiest thing I've ever fuckin' see. Jesus."

She blushes but he doesn't notice as he pulls his cock out from under his pants and boxers. He spits into his palm and starts to stroke himself, his gaze glued to the swollen mess between her legs.

In college, Y/N watched porn once. It was with her roommate and her friends, who found out she was a virgin and asked if she knew anything about sex. She didn't, so they had some sort of debauched education night for her, which was really just an excuse to giggle and make fun of the way guys moan in porn. It made her feel weird, watching this couple have sex on camera, but what she does remember is the girl encouraging him to cum. Once she started begging, it pushed him to her orgasm, and Y/N was pretty impressed with that.

So, she swallows her self-conscious nature and gazes up at Harry as the slick pumps over his length grow clumsy. She can see the pre-cum bubbling at the tip and the way he gathers it with each stroke, using it to further lubricate himself.

"Want you to cum for me," she breathes out, the words sounding foreign when they leave her lungs, "Please. Wanna see it."

Harry's eyes nearly bulge out of his head and she assumes she's done something right by the way he quickly squeezes them shut, a quiet fuck falling from his lips.

"Please cum for me, daddy."

Much like it was for her, the use of his honorific is what finally pushes him to his finish. His jaw goes slack and his chest vibrates with muffled groans as spurts of cum rain down on Y/N's mound, eliciting a small gasp as the feeling. It's messy, but she's enamored by how gorgeous Harry looks when he comes: swollen lips, clenched abs, flushed cheeks, his large hand fisted around his length.

"Shit," he mutters, reaching up with his clean hand to push his curls out of his face, "Are you alright? Was that okay?"

She nods far too quickly for her own good. She'd be lying if she says she isn't slightly overwhelmed, but she wouldn't take any of it back. She never wants to forget how good he made her feel, while the knowledge that she's the one that turned him on like that is a boost to her confidence.

"Lemme clean you up, hold on," he says breathily, reaching over to grab one of the folded hand towels in the cabinet. Gently, he runs the fabric over her sensitive bottom half, shushing her softly. He does the same thing for himself and then helps her shimmy her panties back up. "You sure you feel alright, dove? You're being quiet."

"'m okay. Just tired." She replies truthfully, sitting up to lean back against the wall.

"Yeah? One little orgasm and you're ready for a nap?"

She giggles and buries her head into his shoulder, her limbs feeling particularly jelly-like. He wraps a loose arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer, chuckling as he presses a kiss to her hair.

"That's alright. I'm happy to take care of you however you need, princess."

. . .

"When were you planning on telling me the bookstore is hiring?"

Harry's eyes widen at Y/N's unusually bold demeanor. He glances down at her, following her gaze to where she's staring at the small bookstore across the street. Sure enough, there's a help wanted sign in the window.

"I didn't know you were looking for a job, dove," he replies with a shrug. In all honesty, he's never really paid attention to the business across the street from his own.

"Well... I'm not really, but I do want to start making my own money." she says softly, biting her lip.

He raises his eyebrows, "Yeah? You wanna go see if you can fill out an application?"

Despite her nerves, she still nods her head. Harry smiles and intertwines their fingers together, guiding her across the way to the bookstore. He holds the door open for her and she swallows anxiously, stepping inside the quaint store. With his hand pressed to the small of her back, he gently ushers her to the cashier.

"Hi," she says shakily, "I saw you're hiring people and I was wondering if I could apply."

The woman at the front grins, immediately launching into a conversation with Y/N about how excited she is that someone's interested in working for them. As she pulls a paper application out from a drawer on the side, Harry smoothes his hand over her back, rubbing it gently. He's so proud of her, his heart feels like it could burst.

It's only when she's finishing up filling out her information that someone says her name. They both turn, Y/N's eyebrows instantly furrowing in confusion.

"Y/N," the woman hisses, and Harry glances down to watch his girl's face crumble, "What are you doing?"

"Y/N... who is this?" Harry asks, his possessive instincts immediately taking over.

She swallows harshly, tugging at the sleeves of her sweater.

"Um... this is my mom."

read part two here!

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bellatrixscurls · 21 days

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tattoo artist!sirius black.

ta!sirius who is piercing your nipples, but when you pull your top up and his fingers graze them, they harden almost instantly and you have to bite on your tongue to conceal a moan.

and he smirks up at you, whispering a soft “you okay, sweetheart?” and you can’t do anything but nod dumbly. but him and you both fucking know that you won’t be able to stay still for the rest of the appointment, so sirius has to constantly pin your hips down to the chair, because every single time he tries to touch you, you whimper and buck your hips.

your cheeks flush and you want to cry of embarrassment, but it doesn’t last much as he pulls your skirt up and your panties to the side, inspecting your glistening cunt. he smirks deviously and pushes a finger inside, watching your eyes roll back into your head.

you gasp softly, your moans the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. ever. “be quiet, sweetheart. you don’t want them to hear how fucking desperate you are, do you?” he taunts you before wrapping his plump, beautiful lips around your hardened nipples, his fingers still working in your cunt.

“no” you mewl, pouty lips open wide now. “need you so much. please” you beg for him and he curses under his breath, lips vibrating against your skin.

“fuck me, sweet thing. wish i could fucking tattoo your pretty sounds into my skin.”

#sirius black smut #tattoo artist!sirius black #sirius black x reader #harry potter smut #harry potter x reader #this might be shit but the thought of it makes me squirm

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surelystaggering · 3 months

Text

sirius black ! [ @ drwisteria on twt & ig ]

so, this was originally meant to be a duo piece but i couldnt work out posing for find good refs so now its just this !! hope you still like it. better quality on other socials though posting them later next week !!

#art #digital art #harry potter #marauders #marauders era #fanart #sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius black art #digital artist #i love my little guys <3 #sirius is a pretty boy #sirius black au #singer!sirius black #prongsfoot #(VERY SUBTLE)#he wears a ‘j’ necklace and has a ‘james’ tattoo #drwisteria

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lemoncrushh · 20 days

Text

Tattooed Heart - Part II

SUMMARY: You are a cocktail waitress at a swanky lounge. Harry comes in one night, and you instantly dislike him. But another encounter eventually changes your opinion.

PAIRING: Waitress Y/N x Artist/Tattoo Artist Harry

TROPES: Enemies to Lovers

MUST BE 18+ TO READ

WORD COUNT: 3799

STORY PAGE

The pavement was wet from the rain as you stepped onto the curb. You cursed yourself for wearing your best shoes, knowing you’d have blisters by the time you got home. Looking up at the sky, you noticed the rain had let up, so you quickly shut your umbrella, eyeing the cafe in front of you. The HELP WANTED sign in the window caught your attention. With a sigh, you pulled open the door. If you couldn’t find a job today, at least you could dry off with a latte and a muffin.

“What can I get you?” asked the woman behind the counter.

“Yes, I saw your sign up front? What’s the job?”

The older man who had his back to you called out, “You got experience?”

“Uh, yes sir, if you mean waiting tables.”

The man turned around, his face expressionless. “What about cash register?”

“Yes, sir, I’ve done that too. All kinds of retail and customer service.”

“Any days you aren’t available? I need weekends.”

“Yes, sir. I mean…no sir, I’m free everyday.”

“Good. Fill this out.” The man reached behind the counter and pulled out an application, then grabbed a pen from a nearby jar, handing them both to you.

“Thank you,” you grinned. “Oh. And can I get a vanilla latte and a blueberry muffin?”

After paying for your order, you sat down at the nearest table to begin filling out the application. You were nearly halfway through it when a shadow fell over your paper and you heard a familiar voice.

“I don’t believe it.”

Looking up, you saw him standing next to the counter. He wore a black hoodie and shorts, his windblown hair pushed back by sunglasses.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” you muttered, gripping the pen tightly. If it had been a pencil, it would have snapped. “What are you doing here?”

“Um…it’s a cafe. I’m getting coffee.”

Pursing your lips, you shifted your chair so you were facing away from him. You heard him order a flat white before his sneakered feet squeaked past you to a table by the window. You grimaced as you watched him open his backpack and pull out a laptop.

“Here you are ma’am,” said the woman who had been behind the counter.

“Thank you,” you smiled up at her as she set your coffee and muffin on the table. Then she walked over to Harry, serving him his order.

“I can’t believe this,” you mumbled to yourself, knowing he had no plans to leave any time soon.

Trying your best to concentrate, you managed to get to the last page of the application before raising your head to find Harry staring at you.

“Do you mind?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

“Looking for a job?”

You couldn’t tell if he was being facetious or genuine.

“What do you care?” you grumbled.

“I…” he began before changing his mind with a shrug. Then he took a sip of his coffee and returned his attention to his computer.

Signing your name at the bottom of the application, you rose from your chair to turn it in.

“Why’d you leave your last job?” asked the man after he scanned your paper.

Your stomach went sour, your throat closing up. You’d dreaded that question all day. Seemed no one wanted to give a smart-mouth cocktail waitress a second chance.

“It just…wasn’t the right fit for me,” you replied.

“After two years? Zelda’s huh? That some fancy joint?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you think this coffee shop is a better fit?” the man chuckled.

“I don’t know. But I’d like the chance to try.”

Hesitating, the man shrugged. “I’m gonna need a good reference. Is it alright to call your last employer?”

“Oh. Uh…” You thought you might throw up. “I don’t-”

“I can vouch for her, Stan.”

You swung around, incredulous to what you’d just heard. He was vouching for you?

“You know this young lady, Harry?” asked Stan.

“Yeah.” Harry stood up and walked over to you. “Celebrated my birthday at Zelda’s, and she was my waitress.”

“Oh?”

Harry looked you straight in the eye and said, “She was brilliant. Best waitress I ever had.”

If your knees hadn’t just about buckled then, you might have noticed your jaw dropping. What?!

“Well, that’s good enough for me,” offered Stan. “Tell you what. Come back tomorrow. Ten o’clock. We’ll see if it’s a good fit.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Did Harry just help you get a job?

“Thank you,” you let out a breath and quickly beamed at Stan. “See you then.”

Although he remained standing near your table, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at Harry as you gathered your things, gulping down the last of your coffee. Then swinging your purse over your shoulder, you turned for the exit.

“Y/N,” you heard him say, but rather than make the situation more awkward, you merely muttered a quick thanks.

It wasn’t until you were out the door that you heard him call you again, this time louder.

“Y/N!”

With a deep sigh, you stopped walking. Harry caught up to you, something of yours in his hand.

“You forgot your umbrella,” he explained.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

As you took it from him, your hands brushed, sending an unexpected electric current through your skin. You finally looked at him then, his eyes sincere. For the first time, you noticed they were a light green, a darker circle lining the irises. The wind whipped around you, and you caught a whiff of his…cologne? Perhaps it was just soap or some kind of body wash. Either way, he smelled nice. Clean. Like he’d just showered, though he’d skipped the shave. You noted the facial hair on his top lip and along his jaw, and found yourself wondering how many unshaven days it took to grow.

Suddenly, you stepped back, worried that you’d been staring and that he’d noticed. Surely, he’d noticed.

“Um…good luck tomorrow,” you heard him say as you pretended to check for something in your bag.

“Oh. Yeah. Thanks.” Why was he being so nice?

“Well…see ya,” he gave a slight gesture of his hand before turning back toward the cafe.

“Harry?” you called after him.

“Yeah?”

You took two steps closer to him, but careful to still keep a distance.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why…did you do that?”

Harry shrugged as though the answer were simple. “I caused you to lose your last job. So I helped you get a new one.”

Unable to respond, you stood still as you watched him reenter the cafe, feeling completely bewildered.

You sat in the small room in the back of the cafe during your break, sipping on a nitro cold brew that your co-worker Jill had taught you how to make. It was only your third day, but so far you liked working there. It definitely wasn’t Zelda’s, but it was better than nothing. The clientele was different to say the least, but you were enjoying the somewhat pleasant and low-key atmosphere.

Stan, the manager, had seemed to take you under his wing. You wondered if it had to do with Harry, and what exactly his relationship was to him. You assumed he was a regular customer at the cafe, though you hadn’t seen him return since you started working there.

As you scrolled through your phone, you suddenly got a text message from Shae.

Look who’s having a special this weekend.

Underneath was a link to Fine Line Ink’s Instagram page. You’d told your roommate about the entire encounter with Harry and how he’d basically helped you get your new job. Shae had wondered why on earth you hadn’t just kissed him right there in the middle of the cafe, but she always was a bit dramatic.

The truth was, you didn’t know how to feel about Harry anymore. Your head told yourself you still hated him, that he was a dick who was feeling guilty and needed to cleanse his aura. But your gut told you that he was something more than that. That he truly was sorry for getting you fired, and wanted to make amends.

You scrolled through the photos on the Instagram page, beautiful and striking images of ink on skin. Everything from delicate bracelet tats to full back tattoos and sleeves, some in basic black ink, and some in a rainbow of colors. They were all exquisite. He truly was a good tattoo artist.

Checking the time on your phone, you realized your break was over. Tossing your phone in your bag, you returned them to your locker. After a quick stop to the restroom, you stepped out into the cafe to find him sitting at the same table as before, beside the window. This time, however, he didn’t have his laptop, but rather an iPad, a stylus pencil in his hand. Jill had just set down his flat white when she gasped.

“Wow, that’s gorgeous!” she exclaimed. Then looking up, she saw you. “Y/N, c’mere, you have to see this!”

You shuffled hesitantly over to Harry’s table where he sat with his back to you. Gazing over his shoulder, you saw that he had drawn a raven. The detail was so intricate, down to the branches, flowers and moon. You almost felt as though if you were to reach out and touch the drawing, you could feel the bird’s feathers.

“Isn’t it amazing?” asked Jill.

“Stunning,” you breathed.

“He’s a tattoo artist. I keep telling him I’m gonna come get a tattoo from him, but I’m too chicken,” Jill laughed as she made her way back to the counter.

A couple at a corner table got up to leave then, so you quickly walked over to clean it. As you moved the sugar container, you heard your name. You looked up at him quizzically, though you didn’t say a word.

“How’s the job going so far?” he asked.

“It’s good,” you nodded sharply.

“I’m glad. I come here at least twice a week. Have been for a long time. Stan and Carol are good people.”

“Yeah…I…I can tell.” Carol, you’d learned the other day, was the woman who had been behind the counter when you’d walked in. She was Stan’s wife.

The door opened then and a young woman entered. You secretly hoped you could go help her as an excuse to stop talking to Harry, but Jill beat you to it.

“Do you…need another coffee?” you asked him as he lifted his cup.

He gave you a smirk. “Just got this one.”

“Oh. Right. Anything else?”

“No, I’m good.” Taking a slow sip, he watched you over his cup.

You gave a curt nod before returning to the counter. It was a fairly slow afternoon, and other than a handful of customers who came and went with their coffees to go, you didn’t have much to do. Jill continued to train you on a few more things, and you were grateful for the distraction. Because even though he wasn’t doing anything other than drawing on his iPad and sipping his coffee, Harry’s presence was getting to you.

Making the rounds, you refilled napkin dispensers and Sweet & Low packets, all while sneaking looks at what Harry was drawing. You didn’t know why it even mattered to you, but something about his art was captivating. You watched as his pencil glided across the screen, how he’d sometimes use his thumb and forefinger to zoom in and out. Once, you caught a view of a scene he was drawing - not just one focal point, but rather a series of buildings along a city street, nightfall in the background. Each building had various windows lit up, as well as street lamps. If you hadn’t known better, you’d have thought it was a photograph.

Sometime in the process, you finally took notice of his fingers, how long and slender they were. You paid attention to the way they moved and flexed as he drew, and most importantly, how nearly each one was adorned with some kind of ring. Lost in thought, you almost missed it when he lifted his head to look at you.

“It’s so easy to watch him, isn’t it?” remarked Jill, saving you from embarrassment as she stood next to you. “Sometimes I forget where I am!”

Clearing your throat, you grabbed the rag you were cleaning with and stuffed it in your apron. Then as you finished with the last napkin dispenser, you caught a small smile curling on Harry’s mouth.

Finally, an hour later - an hour and eleven minutes to be exact - Harry slipped his iPad into his backpack and zipped it shut. Pretending to busy yourself behind the muffins, you watched as he slipped his arms through. Then shoving his hand in his pocket, he pulled out his wallet, grabbing a couple of bills and leaving them on the table. As he made his way toward the door, he gave a small wave.

“Goodnight, ladies,” he said.

“Bye, Harry,” Jill called. As soon as he was outside, she slumped against the counter. “Oh my God, I hate when he’s here. I can hardly function!”

Holding back a chuckle, you asked, “Does he just come here to draw?”

“Mostly, yeah. Or sometimes he works on his website. He doesn’t just do tattoos. Like, that’s his livelihood and he’s really good at it. But he’s like…a legit artist.”

“Oh,” you sounded. “You mean, like in a gallery?”

“Mmhmm. I think he had some sort of exhibit a few weeks ago. It’s on his website if you wanna check it out. Harry Styles art dot com.”

Huh. So there was more to Harry than just some drunk prick at a bar. You were anxious to get your phone and look up his website.

“Oh my God!” Jill gasped from the table Harry had just left.

“What?”

“Harry usually just leaves a couple bucks for tip. He left two twenties!”

“Seriously?” you asked, rounding the counter. Why would he do that? “He only had one coffee, right?”

“Yep. What a sweetie! Here!”

Jill handed you one of the twenties, but you shook your head. “But I didn’t wait on him.”

“Doesn’t matter. We split tips at the end of the night anyway. This saves us time.”

Taking the bill, you mentally added one more reason to your list of why this Harry Styles was more than he seemed. Mysteriously generous. Was it a good thing? Or did he have an angle?

You didn’t know. But you were determined to find out.

Shae had a date. For the first time in forever, you had a Friday night off. It was weird, being in the apartment alone on a weekend night. After making a quick, easy meal and watching a couple of episodes of SVU, you were bored. You thought about visiting your old pal John at Zelda’s, but you didn’t wanna take the chance of running into your former boss.

Tapping on your phone, you opened the last website you’d visited - Harry Styles art dot com. Over the last twenty-four hours, you’d opened it at least half a dozen times. Displayed on the main page were photos from an art exhibit in January, the one that Jill had mentioned. While the art itself had no doubt been exquisite, your eyes kept veering to the photos of the artist. He stood in a suit, much like the one he’d worn at Zelda’a. In fact, he looked very similar to the way he had that night, the main exception being that he didn’t appear to be drunk, nor was he frowning. On the contrary, he was smiling in nearly every photograph. You noted the dimples in his cheeks, the crinkles beside his eyes when he smiled, the five o’clock shadow. Even you had to admit - albeit secretly - he was a very handsome man.

As you had scrolled through the various pictures from that night, you soon came across a handful of him standing next to a woman in a long, champagne colored dress that fit her curves, her hair pulled back in a tight bun. Taking a closer look, you recognized her as the girl at the bar, the one whose ear was attached to Harry’s tongue.

Nicolette.

For some reason you felt a twinge in your stomach. Jealously? Shaking your head free of the notion, you continued to peruse the website. Eventually you came to a link that brought you to the site for Fine Line Ink. There you saw the announcement at the top, advertising thirty percent off all tattoos, and forty percent off body piercing, just like the text Shae had sent you the day before.

Setting down your phone, you thought for a moment. You figured he’d be pretty busy on any Friday, but particularly this Friday with the special. Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea, but somehow you found yourself driving to Fine Line Ink anyway.

The familiar fragrance of incense wafted through your nostrils as soon as you opened the door. Classic rock seemed to be the genre of choice for the evening as Aerosmith pumped through the speakers. You were right in assuming the shop would be busy, as three other customers sat in the waiting area, filling out their forms.

“Hi, how can I help you?” asked a guy who emerged from the back.

“Yeah, um…I don’t really know yet,” you replied. “I just need to talk to Harry…for a second.”

“Oh. Well, he’s in the middle of a tattoo right now.”

“That’s okay,” you grinned. “I can wait.”

“You sure? It may be a while, and he’s pretty booked up. We have other artists who can h-”

“It’s fine,” you held up your hand. “Seriously. I just need to talk to him when he has a minute.”

“O-okay.”

When the guy shuffled away, you took a seat in the waiting area. You scanned the walls, various artwork adorning them until you spotted a large drawing of the Beatles. Had that been there before? Had Harry drawn it? It was really good, the artistic detail spot on.

You watched another man say goodbye to a customer and then bring another one to the back before Harry finally made his way to the front. To call the look on his face surprised when he saw you would have been an understatement. As he chatted a bit with the client he’d just finished, you suddenly felt butterflies in your stomach.

“Hey,” he said when the guy left. “Kyle said someone was waiting to talk to me. I didn’t know it was you.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” you let the words slip from your lips.

Harry shook his head, blinking slowly. “That’s not what I meant.”

You exhaled, hoping your quick response hadn’t offended him. Your reflexes were still on alert. Addressing the other customer who sat next to you, Harry smiled.

“I’ll be right with you, Carlo.”

“Yeah, no problem, man.”

Carlo and Harry both looked at you as Harry gave a tiny grin. “Wanna come back?”

Rising from your chair, you followed Harry through the shop, to the very back where he pushed open a door.

“Come on in,” he gestured.

As he shut the door behind you, you noted the desk in the corner, more artwork on the walls, and bookshelves. Pulling out a chair, Harry asked you to sit.

“Everything going well at the cafe?” he asked you.

“Oh, yeah. It’s fine. Actually, that’s what I came to talk to you about.”

“Yeah?” Harry leaned against his desk, his arms crossed. You noticed how tall he seemed standing while you sat.

“Yes,” you cleared your throat. “I realized I never properly thanked you…for helping me get the job.”

His lips twitched as he held back a smile. Or perhaps a smirk. “Alright.”

With a sigh, you looked up at him. “I’m afraid I haven’t acted very grateful. I let my pride and my ego get in the way when you-”

“Y/N,” Harry interrupted. “It’s okay. You have every right to hate me. Still. I said what I did to Stan because I regretted the way I treated you. You didn’t deserve any of it. It was…the only way I knew to make it up to you.”

“Okay…” you swallowed. “Still…thank you.”

“You’re welcome. But…”

“But what?”

Harry shrugged. “I reckon I should have tried to get you your job back at Zelda’s.”

You smiled, looking down at your hands. “It’s fine.”

“Really? ‘Cause…you can’t possibly be making the tips at the cafe.”

Biting your lip, you lifted your head. “Thanks for that, too, by the way.”

“What?”

“The extra tip yesterday.”

“Who said that was for you?” Harry teased with a smirk.

You couldn’t hide your chuckle.

“Listen…” he continued, placing his hand over his chest. “I feel bad. I was honest when I said that wasn’t me that night.”

You nodded, sliding your palms across your thighs. Were you sweating?

“You’re an artist,” you commented.

“I am.”

“I saw your website. You do beautiful work.”

“Thank you,” Harry grinned.

“I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

Shaking his head again, Harry pulled his chair in front of you and sat down. Then leaning towards you, he seemed to study your face.

“I gave you plenty of reasons to jump to conclusions about me. Can we start over?”

“Start over? What do you mean?”

His dimples dipping in his cheeks, Harry held out his hand. “Hi. I’m Harry Styles.”

Mimicking his grin, you gently shook his hand. “Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m really excited to get to know you better.”

“Really?” you blushed.

“Yes. Do you work tomorrow?”

“I have a morning shift.”

“How about dinner?”

“No, I don’t work the dinner shift,” you shook your head.

Harry threw his head back laughing, startling you. His cackle rang through the office, vibrating every pulse in your body. What was happening? How did this guy suddenly have this effect on you?

“That’s not what I meant, love.”

“Oh,” you blushed again. Damn it.

“Will you have dinner with me tomorrow?”

“Oh.” Oh! “Um…you don’t work here tomorrow?”

“Nope. My night off.”

Though you tried your best to fight it, you couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across your face. “Yeah. I guess I can do that.”

After settling the plans for the next evening, Harry walked you out to the front where Carlo sat patiently waiting.

“By the way,” said Harry. “What happened with your friend? The one who wanted the tattoo.”

Biting the inside of your lip, you hesitated. “She um…went somewhere else.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Don’t be so disappointed, Harry,” you chuckled. “You forgot one thing.”

“What’s that?” he asked, holding the door open for you.

“I haven’t gotten mine yet.”

FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED

187 notes · View notes

moonchildstyles · 6 months

Note

angel getting high for the first time 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

cw: drug use! its only weed, nothing heavy but if that makes you uncomfortable please skip :)

wordcount: 11.8k+

—————

(Y/N) kicked her legs in the air as she laid tummy down on her bed. She listened to the ringing from the phone pressed to her ear, waiting for a familiar voice to answer.

In the middle of the third ring, her hopes were answered when a click sounded. Muffled background noise started through the speaker, accompanying a honeyed drawl.

"Hi, lovebug," Harry murmured, his speech seemingly slower than normal.

"Hi," she chirped through her smile. Her feet kicked in the air, free hand coming up to twirl her hair around her index finger. "What are you doing?"

A random burst of laughter bubbled through the other line, distant from the phone though it was still loud. "'M on the phone, be quiet," Harry reprimanded, voice far from the receiver before he returned with a decided softer tone, "Nothing, jus' trying to watch a movie with Mitch. What about you, baby?"

"Just in bed," she mused, "I wanted to call before I went to sleep. Did you want me to let you go since you're with Mitch?"

Since deciding on moving in together once their respective leases expired, (Y/N) had been making a point to spend more time with Sarah while she was still so close. She didn't want to get in the way if Harry was trying to do the same.

"No, no, I wanna talk to you, 's alright," he assured her, "How was your day?"

It was still sweet to (Y/N) the way that she could text him all day long, telling him everything about her day, and he still would ask her a question like this. He told her once that he likes hearing her voice, even if he already knows what she's telling him.

"It was alright," she said, rolling to lay on her back, looking up at her ceiling, "I turned in that paper that I was working on last weekend, so that's all done. The library was super quiet today, though, I almost fell asleep in the philosophy section."

A small laugh sounded from Harry. "Did y'really?"

"Yeah," she sighed, a smile curling her lips, "Elizabeth had to come entertain me. But, what about you? You did that big piece today, right?"

"Yeah, the thigh piece," he said, voice thick, "She was a nice girl, but I had a headache by the time we took the first break. She liked to talk a lot. M'hand's been cramping since lunch."

A pout landed on (Y/N)'s lips. She hated hearing about those kinds of details from Harry's job. She had always figured it was so fun and glamorous, easy and fulfilling. She had never thought about the physical toll of drawing and shading and designing all day long.

"Oh, no," she hummed, instinctively rolling her wrist and curling her fingers as if she could take his pain from miles away. "Did you take anything to help?"

"Kind of. Mitch and I have been relaxing since he got home."

She knew exactly what that meant. Though Harry tended to keep this specific hobby of his separated from her, set on the back burner away from the time he spent with her, she knew better. Besides, she had found that little bag in his dresser months ago, she wasn't completely clueless (of course, he did have to explain what she had found to her, but that was a different story).

That would explain why time seemed to be moving a little bit slower on the other end of the phone, and the boisterous laughter Mitch was sharing in the background.

"Have you been smoking?" she asked, voice quiet. She always felt a bit silly bringing this up to him, unsure of what terms to be using and what meant what exactly.

"A little bit, yeah," he affirmed, "Sorry. I didn't know you'd be calling. I wouldn't have if I knew you wanted to talk tonight."

Shaking her head despite the fact he couldn't see her, (Y/N) rushed her protests. "No, no, don't be sorry. I don't mind, you know that. As long as you're happy and you guys are being careful."

"Always am, baby."

A heat bubbled in her chest at his words. While he never did it around her, there were times that she called him or he FaceTimed her before bed when he was under the influence and his voice drawling just a little deeper, sitting heavier in his chest, hit her just perfectly. She could imagine the way his eyes were a bit hooded, his tongue sticking around his words, the easy smiles that spread across his face for no other reason than he liked the feeling.

She wondered what he looked like in the act. Was it like the movies with lavender smoke and pieces of blown glass with intricate details? Or did he make his own little rolls, hanging from his lips like a cigarette?

Mitch's loud laugh on the phone brought her back to reality, blinking her back to her room and Harry's static on the other end of the phone. Harry gave a muffled response before his own laughter joined his best friend's, the sound drawling and breezy.

When he returned to the phone, she could hear the lingering smile in his tone. "I think Mitch found a movie for us to watch, love."

"What is it?" she asked, feeling the end of the phone call nearing. She would have to settle for spraying the stuffed bunny he gifted her for Valentine's Day with a sample of his cologne for her to cuddle for the night.

"I don't even know," he laughed, "but, I think 's gonna be funny. I think 'm gonna have to make us food, though, so I don't think I can talk for much longer."

"That's okay. Have fun with Mitch and I'll talk to you tomorrow, right?"

"Right," he affirmed, voice soft, "Sleep well, lovebug. I'll call you during my lunch."

"Okay," she sighed, fitting her cheek against her pillow, "I love you."

"I love you more, baby," he cooed, "Goodnight."

An exaggerated kiss noise sounded through her phone, pulling a loud peal of laughter from (Y/N)'s lips. He never really did that when he was around his friends, only putting on the show when he was calling her in private. She thought it was very sweet.

"Goodnight," she laughed, pressing the red button before she became too spoiled with his shenanigans and tried to keep the call going.

Setting her phone on her nightstand, she snuggled into her comforter, a throw blanket covering her body instead of her duvet. Pulling her studded bunny from the fringes of her bed, (Y/N) nestled her cheek against the soft fluff. The sown still smelled of Harry's house from the last time she had spent the night, bringing her back to what he was doing in her absence.

The mystery surrounding his activity of choice for the day is what flicked her curiosity. She'd seen a few movies with marijuana being an uncredited character along with a couple of books with the high feeling being described, but she had never been exposed to anything substantial in real life before she moved away from her parents. Even then, she still hadn't experienced more than the herbal scent that inevitably clung to apartment complexes so close to a university campus and the few bleary eyed classmates she had to work with.

Specifically, she wondered what Harry was like when he was in that state. Those classmates of hers always seemed disconnected, tired, and in their own head. Was Harry the same way? Did he act the way he did when he drank a little bit too much wine? Or was he wild and excitable like those in the movies? Or sleepy like she had read in her books?

What would she be like?

The idea followed her behind her shuttered eyes, her mind going a bit floaty the closer she sunk into sleep.

—————

"Sarah, have you ever... smoked weed before?"

The words felt silly falling from (Y/N)'s mouth. Was that even the correct term? She didn't know, but she kept her attention on the food she was making in front of her, hoping Sarah wouldn't notice.

"Yes," she answered with a suspicious drawl, sweeping through the apartment with a laundry basket on her hip, "Why?"

(Y/N) only shrugged. "I don't know. I've just been thinking about it." She paused, tipping her head. "What does it feel like?"

"Smoking?" Sarah pressed.

"Yeah," (Y/N) chirped, feeling shy that she was even breaching this conversation. "Or, like, being high. Is it like the movies?"

"A little bit," Sarah mused, folding her laundry on the dining room table into neat piles. "It's not as dramatic or crazy, but it can feel that way sometimes. It depends on the person. Everyone's different."

Rolling her lips, (Y/N) nodded her head. She chanced a look over her shoulder at her friend, slowing her stirring. "What are you like?"

Sarah shrugged, a crease between her brows as she thought. "I haven't smoked in a while, but I used to get really tired. It always depended on what kind we had, but I usually got really tired."

Is that what Harry did? Did he get sleepy, like some of her classmates? Did he nod off during the movie he and Mitch watched the other night?

"When was the last time?" (Y/N) asked, hoping Sarah didn't cut her off. She was genuinely curious, she hoped she wasn't prodding and poking past her welcome.

"Maybe a year ago? Could have been longer," Sarah answered. "I was with Mitch so it wasn't too long ago."

Fixing her attention back on the stirring of the soup she was making for their dinner, she tried to act casual as she spoke. "W-Was Harry there, too?"

"Harry?"

(Y/N) could hear the smile in Sarah's voice as she realized where (Y/N)'s curiosity was stemming from. She never tired of teasing just a little over how in love she was with her Harry. (Y/N) only hummed a confirmation, keeping her voice to herself.

"He wasn't there the last time, but he did used to smoke with us sometimes," Sarah explained, sounding a little too amused as she spoke, "Why?"

Shrugging, (Y/N) pretended as if she wasn't intrigued at the info Sarah could share. "No reason really. Was it fun? With Harry and Mitch and all?"

"(Y/N)," Sarah sighed, her voice floating through a smile, "C'mon."

Stopping her distracting task, she turned to face Sarah who was looking at her with that knowing smile she somehow always had when it came to (Y/N)'s secrets. She was an open book as her friend could tell.

"What?" (Y/N) feigned nonchalance as if she hadn't already been caught.

"Did Harry say something? Is that why you're asking about all of this?" Sarah poked, her features set in a gentle tease.

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth she canted her head, eyes dropping to where Sarah's hands had stalled her folding. "Not exactly," she started, "He just... I don't know, I called him the other night and he was with Mitch and they had been smoking, he told me. I know he's done it a few times since we started dating, but I've just been thinking about it since then."

Sarah hummed, nodding her head as she listened. "I get it," she said, "I know he doesn't do it around you or anything, right?" (Y/N) only shook her head. Popping her hip with a furrow appearing in her brow as she cast her mind back in search of answers for (Y/N)'s previous questions. "I wouldn't say it's exactly like the movies," Sarah continued, "But it depends on the person and the strain, and things like that. I usually get pretty tired and hungry, Mitch is like the movies sometimes—loud and everything is funny—, and Harry gets really lovey and lazy. None of us really make much sense, though."

(Y/N) tried to picture it. Lavender smoke in the air, Harry lazing about with hearts in his eyes, Mitch laughing about nothing, and Sarah passed out in the corner with a pillow under her cheek. A pinch appeared between her brows as she tried to see where she would sit amongst those characters.

"What do you think I'd be like?"

Blinking, Sarah brought her gaze to her friend. She pursed her lips as she took in (Y/N).

"I don't know. It's not the same as being drunk, so I don't know if you'd be as excitable." Sarah contemplated for a moment longer. "I don't really know, honestly. Are you thinking about finding out?"

She could only shrug. A similar anxiety she felt around alcohol before she broke that barrier still surrounded this, if even a bit heightened given the fact the substance was still very much taboo in her life. There were so many scary, over-exaggerated out there about marijuana, along with the fact that it was still very much taboo in (Y/N)'s life. The use of it seemed to be something that was only done in private and kept as a secret for some people. She was worried that if she found out why, she would regret it.

Though, there were those puffing thoughts in the back of her mind that begged to differ. It couldn't be that bad. Harry, Mitch, and Sarah were three of her favorite people in the whole world. They weren't devilish burnouts with a one-track lifestyle taking them down the drain, like horror stories and PSA's liked to project. They were good people who sometimes indulged in extra relaxation when they had the chance and the mindset to do so. There was nothing wrong with that.

"You could ask H, if you wanted. You know he'd answer anything you wanted to know."

"I know," (Y/N) drawled, unsure despite the fact she knew Sarah was telling the truth. "You don't think he'd be annoyed or anything? I know he keeps it all separate from me for a reason, so I don't want to make him upset."

Sarah leveled her gentle gaze on (Y/N)'s face. "I think he does it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. It's different than drinking wine with him and things like that, so I bet he just doesn't want to scare you."

(Y/N) shook her head, "He couldn't scare me, though. He's too nice."

"To you," Sarah clarified, her smile soft and teasing, "You know he just worries about you and all of that. You wouldn't upset him if you wanted to know more about anything he does."

He did love teaching and showing her things, she knew that.

"I'll think about it," (Y/N) settled.

"Good," Sarah smiled, grabbing her stacks of folded laundry, "Is dinner ready?"

"Almost," (Y/N) chirped, adding a little bit of extra seasoning to the pot, "I just need to add the noodles. It'll probably be ready by the time you're done putting everything away."

Sarah gave a small cheer, stacks of clothing now rehomed in the laundry basket to be returned to her room. "Thank you," she sung, "We should watch that yacht show when we sit down, don't you think?"

Perking up at the suggestion, (Y/N) quickly nodded her head. "That sounds perfect!" she smiled, mellowing some as she turned her attention to her swirling soup base, "And, thank you for answering everything, by the way. It always helps me."

"I know, that's why I do it," Sarah settled, reaching out to squeeze (Y/N)'s arm gently before she swept away.

Left in the silence of the kitchen with only the simmering soup, (Y/N) felt a little bit lighter. Some of her questions were answered even if she had more she wanted to hear from Harry directly. More than anything, she was a little enamored at the idea that Harry was loving and lazy under the influence. She already had a small idea given that she had seen how easy and bubbly he became when he drank, but she'd never seen him really slow down the way she pictured it in her head.

She wanted to see just how lovey he became, if she was being honest. She already had the privilege of experiencing the affectionate side of him, she wondered just how much higher that volume would be kicked to if he had been smoking. What if he really did have hearts in his eyes?

The thought brought a quiet smile to (Y/N)'s face.

Maybe, she really would have to ask him.

—————

"What are you thinking for dinner, my love?"

(Y/N) puckered her lips to reciprocate the small kiss Harry gave her as he traipsed by the couch. Her eyes followed the broad of his back as her made his way towards the kitchen. With her hands folded on the arm of the sofa, she rested her cheek on her forearm, kicking her legs up behind her as she watched him.

"Whatever you want, I'm okay with," she told him, voice soft and easy.

"Yeah?" he prodded, looking over his shoulder as he washed his hands in the sink, "Even if I didn't feel like making dinner tonight and decided to order sushi instead?"

"Sushi?" (Y/N) bubbled, "From the new place?"

Harry nodded, dimples thumbed into his cheeks. "I figured we could try it out tonight, if that was alright."

"Yes, please," she beamed, her grin only widening when came around to join her in the common area after drying his hands.

His lip ring bobbled as he matched her smile, using a gentle hand to push a stray strand of hair from her eyes. "Why don't you pull up the website for us while I put my sketches away, and find what y'like. Then we'll order, yeah?

Despite the long hours he worked at the shop this past weekend, he looked as gorgeous as ever to (Y/N). He lacked eyeliner after wiping it off as soon as he made it home, but his eyes were still the star of the show against his creamy skin. A fresh bee tattoo stood out on the column of his throat, the mosaic wings following the line of his jaw amongst the rose bush filler he had inked across the skin. With the way he stood over her, she got the perfect view of his spiraling curls and the cut planes of his face complete with his glimmering nose stud and lip ring.

She nodded her head in a lovey daze. "I can do that."

Amusement flickered in his eyes as he looked down at her. He dipped to her level to press a lingering kiss to the tip of her nose. "Thank you, baby," he murmured, moving away to gather the art supplies he was working with, "I'll be right back."

Pulling out her phone, (Y/N) searched up the restaurant up while her mind was still on Harry.

While the questions she had for him were still in the back of her mind, it was too easy to become distracted with him. They weren't apart for a long time by any stretch of the imagination, but even spending a long, four-day weekend away from one another allowed enough fondness to grow between them to keep her mind from wandering very far from what was right in front of her. Besides, Harry barely let her get a word in since she stepped foot in his home, having tugged her to his bedroom with his lips pressed to hers, only breaking for breath.

She'd ask him at some point, she was sure. If she had the mind to after dinner.

Browsing through the menu for a few minutes, (Y/N) found the rolls she was interested in, picking things she had a feeling Harry would like and finding other little gems on the website that she would mention in hopes of getting his opinion on. She searched through the site, trying to find an option to order online with no luck, the browser rerouting her to the main page every time she tried to plug into the ordering site.

"H?" she called, realizing he still hadn't come back from resetting his utensils.

"Yes?" he answered back, still in the bedroom, "What do y'need, love?"

Instead of responding, she stood from the couch and moved towards his room, brows knitted and phone screen bright in her hand. "The website isn't working—it won't let me order," she explained, stepping over the threshold to his room.

Lifting her head, she saw him standing at his dresser, back to the door with his head angled down and hands fiddling across the top of his dresser. He looked over his shoulder at her, his hands slowing.

"Give me a second, and I'll take a look," he told her, "I'm still cleaning up—forgot I left some things out."

"Oh?" she sounded, stepping towards him with her phone being slid back into her pocket, "Do you want any help?"

Growing close enough, she peered around him to see what he was working on. Instead of spotting the graphite and colored pencils she figured she'd find, she instead saw tiny green buds splaying across the wooden surface with a pair of loose pieces of thin paper and a tall black canister. Harry worked quickly to clean up the mess, majority of the green flakes having been scooped up and replaced in the container though he was struggling to wrangle the remains back into their container.

"'S alright," he murmured, shifting just enough to cut her view of the space, "'M almost done."

Rolling her lips between her teeth, she rocked on her heels as she stayed put. Before she could think better of her words, they were already spilling from her mouth:

"Is that weed?"

She cringed at the sound of her voice wrapping around something so outside of her vocabulary. It sounded better in her head.

Harry's hands slowed, stilling before he looked over his shoulder at her. A sliver of his workspace was once again revealed at the small shifting.

"What was that?" he pressed, his question seemingly heavy between the two of them.

She said the wrong thing, didn't she? (Y/N) dropped her gaze from his, settling on the new bumblebee on his neck instead.

"I ask if that was your... you know," she trailed off, hating the sound of her floundering almost more than just saying the word outright, "That's weed, right?"

Feeling Harry's gaze trail over her, (Y/N) tried not to squirm.

"It is, yeah," he muttered, "I didn't realize I left it out. 'M sorry."

Darting her eyes up to match his once more, she tipped her head to the side. "Why are you sorry?"

Turning away from the dresser entirely, Harry faced her directly. He gave her a small shrug. "I don't like leaving it out when you're here. I meant to clean it up before y'came over, but I forgot."

"You know I don't mind," she reminded him, "You don't have to be sorry."

A gentle smile curled his lips, only a single dimple in his cheeks as he looked at her.

"Thank you, love," he started, "Let me clean up, I'll wash m'hands again, and then I'll—"

"What does it feel like?"

(Y/N) could feel her skin simmering in embarrassment as her tumbling question fell from her mouth before she had a chance to police the words. Everything she had been too distracted to ask him came flooding back then, unable to be stopped now that she saw the opportunity.

"Sorry," she peeped, realizing how abruptly she had cut him off.

He waved her off, "'S alright." He watched her with attentive eyes, catching each of her expressions and minute movements. "What does what feel like?"

There was no going back now, she figured.

"Being high," she peeped, "What does it feel like?"

While he didn't seem to understand where her line of questioning was coming from, or understood her sudden curiosity in his private hobby, he didn't dissect any further.

Harry rolled his neck, pursing his lips. "It's different for everyone," he started, much the same as Sarah had, "It depends on the kind you smoke, too."

"But what does it feel like for you?" she rattled off, her words coming quick. Her hands were a busy bundle at her waistline, looking at him with curious eyes.

A small tug on the corner of his lip had a lopsided smile sparking on his mouth. "It depends, like I said, on what kind, but I usually like it best when m'hands hurt. It helps numb it long enough for the cramping to go away," he mused, "But, other than that, it makes me tired—but not enough to sleep. I jus' want to do nothing but sit and eat. I also get very touchy; lots of cuddling with pillows and whining about not being with you."

He had to have known that his last comment would get her lips splitting into a sheepish smile, (Y/N) dropping her head to fix her gaze at their feet. It was still a little wild to her that Harry thought about her as often as she did him, even when she wasn't right in front of him.

"You feel like that every time?"

"Mostly, yeah," he shared, "Sometimes I feel like sketching, or I fall asleep right away. Back when Mitch and I would go out a lot, I used to be really hyper—doing stupid shit because I wasn't afraid of anything. I've definitely calmed down since then."

"Oh," she sounded. (Y/N) couldn't imagine Harry being reckless, getting himself into trouble that way—but, this was the same man that apparently received his first tattoo at a mechanic's garage by a very amateur artist. He was capable of anything, she guessed.

"Why do you want to know, love?" he asked, tipping his head with a spiral of his curl falling over his shoulder.

She attempted to act as nonchalant as possible, giving a shrug of her shoulders despite her lips being rolled between her teeth. "I don't know," she answered, "I've just been thinking about it, I guess."

"Yeah? Is that all y'wanted to know?"

While there had to have been hundreds of questions that could come to mind, everything from what he and Sarah meant when they specified reactions were based on the strain or kind of weed that was being consumed, to what skunks vs. dank meant when it came to the herb, she didn't know where to start. Though there was one thing she was wanting to know, beyond just the details of what it would be like to see a clingy, lovey Harry.

"What do you think I'd be like?" she asked, her words coming out in a rush before she could rethink them.

Harry's gaze was warm on her face as he examined her. Amusement sparked in his eyes.

"I don't know, but I have a feeling you'd be a little bit like Mitch," he explained, "I think you'd be excited about everything. But, I'd hope you'd be a little like me just because I like the idea of you being clingy and warm, too."

She liked that idea, too. It was easier this time to add herself to the picture of Harry, Mitch, and Sarah, superimposing herself at Harry's side with her own hearts in her eyes and her hands tangled with his. (They could sneak kisses, too, if she caught the bug of no fear like he used to have).

"Could—Can I—... I think I want to try, if that's alright," she stuttered, unable to find the right words before just letting something roll off her tongue.

Harry's silence was heavy between them, the lilypad of his irises setting on her. "You want to try smoking?"

Starting with a soft nod, she tried to find that reckless bubbling that had carried her this far. "I think so, yeah." A beat passed. "If that's alright."

When he didn't immediately say anything, she chanced a peek up at him to find his eyes fixed on her, gentle and melting as he took her in. He opened his arms for her when he caught her eye, his features softened and warm. "C'mere."

(Y/N) all but fell into his arms, his chest warm and solid under her cheek. She looped her arms around his middle, her eyes fluttering closed as she relaxed into him. He worked like a shot of lavender incense and chamomile tea for her, the perfect thing to settle her in moments like these.

His hand spanned over the planes of her back, fingertips massaging the knots of muscle and ladder of her spine. He rubbed over her form in a soothing circuit between her shoulder blades, his opposing hand an anchoring weight on her waist.

"Y'really want to try it out, love?" he prodded her gently, his voice rumbling under her cheek.

"I think so," she mumbled, finding it easier to speak now that she was there to hold her instead of watch her.

"When did y'decide that?"

"The other day, I think," she explained, "After we talked on the phone."

He hummed, the sound reverberating in her ear. "What made y'think y'wanted to try something like this?"

Harry always liked to talk her through things like this, she found. It made it easier for him to understand her thought process, he'd said, helping him be honest with her if he worried she was making a choice that might hurt her later. He never lacked patience when it came to guiding her through new experiences.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, "I just want to know what it's really like. I've only seen a couple of movies and read a few books, but I want to know what it would feel like for me. I don't think it could be so bad if you like it."

Nosing at her hair, she could feel the smile that had spread across his lips. "'M not always the smartest though, baby. You know that."

She let out a small laugh at his griping. "I know, but I trust you. If you really don't think it would be good for me, I know you would tell me."

A pause settled between them.

"You don't feel like you have to, right? Jus' because 's something I do sometimes, I don't expect you to feel comfortable with it or want to do it with me."

"I know," she responded, voice resolute, "I just want to try it at least once. If I don't like it or anything like that, I won't do it again."

After a lingering moment, Harry drew her away from him, peering down at her with a soft gaze. "If you're sure, then we can try it whenever y'want. Jus' let me help you, and I'll be there."

An impulsive flicker lit through her system. She was on a roll, why stop now?

"Can we try it tonight?"

Harry looked at her with widened eyes. "Tonight?"

(Y/N) nodded her head. "I don't have class until the afternoon tomorrow," she started, a plan coming together, "Do you have to go in early tomorrow?"

His smile was lopsided as he shook his head, likely following where she was going with this. "No, I don't."

"We could stay up, then," she rattled off, "I could try tonight, and if anything goes wrong we can sleep in a little in the morning."

Amusement filtered through his gaze. "I didn't know we were having a sleepover," he teased her, dipping his head until his nose nudged against hers, "Y'want to stay the night with me, baby?"

Her skin hummed as (Y/N) fought the urge to hide herself in his neck. (She acted as if he hadn't been fingers deep in her just a few hours prior, their mouths welded together and her legs around his waist)."

"Harry," she whined, curling her fists in his t-shirt to keep from pulling away, "I'm trying to be serious."

"I know," he crooned, tipping his chin to peck a soft kiss to her pouted lips, "And, 'm listening. We can try it out tonight, if y'really want to. But, I think we should eat first, yeah?"

"Yeah," she repeated, giving a slight nod of her head, "I still need help with the website, though."

"Right," he murmured, pulling away, "Since I don't really need to clean up anymore, let me take a look."

With that, (Y/N) handed him her phone, telling him about the confusion she felt with the links and the rerouting and all, but her mind was somewhere else. Flicking her gaze around his shoulder, she saw the mess he was leaving out for them to take care of later. The small green buds sparked that familiar kind of nervous excitement that she'd grown accustomed to when it came to new things Harry was planning on teaching her.

She just hoped she didn't make a fool of herself.

—————

"What did you think, love? Good, right?"

Taking their dirty utensils—including the pink chopsticks he gifted her for Valentines—Harry spoke over his shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen.

(Y/N) sat pliantly on the couch, tummy full of the variety of sushi rolls they sampled for the night, along with a new favorite miso soup that she was surely going to be craving as the week went on. "So good. I think my favorite is still the spicy salmon one with that seaweed salad on top."

Harry laughed from where he stood, surely remembering the way she had practically taken that roll for herself, hoarding the pieces to allow only one bite for him. "I really liked that one, too. We'll have to go back again soon, yeah?"

"Yes, please," she chirped, looking over the back of the couch as he made his return.

While the food was a delicious distraction for the night, (Y/N) had still marinated in the idea of what would be coming once she finished and they were settling for the night. The mess he'd left on his dresser was waiting for them, loose papers and all.

"Ready?" he asked, coming to stand at the end of the sofa.

Was she? She wasn't sure, honestly. But that uncertainty was outweighed by the curiosity and bubbly jitters she had since Harry had agreed to help her.

Before she had a chance to answer and take his hand, Harry spoke up again, "Jus' to get ready for bed first, baby."

"Oh," she sounded, nothing more intelligent coming to mind at the moment, "Um, yeah. Then we'll...?"

He cracked a smile at her hesitancy to name the activity that she had brought up. "Yes, we'll do that afterwards. You'll probably feel more comfortable in some pajamas and your face clean."

Though she felt a bit silly at the way she had built up a moment that hadn't quite arrived yet, she understood his logic. Besides, if she turned out to be like Sarah, she wouldn't beat herself up in the morning if she did all of her skincare now, and not when she was already inches from sleep.

Taking Harry's hand, she followed after him as he led her to his bedroom, a small duffle bag of hers that stayed here was already sitting by the bathroom door. A change of clothes, and minis of her most essential skincare needs were packed away inside, making it easy for her to spend the night impulsively when she wanted to.

(Just then, the reminder that she wouldn't be confined to a single bag when they moved in together made her more giddy than before. Soon, she'd be sharing a whole closet with him, a bathroom, and a home. She couldn't wait).

(Y/N) went through the motions of getting unready with Harry standing behind her in the mirror. More often than not, as she brushed her teeth or patted a balm into her skin, her eyes wandered to his reflection. Once or twice, when she was caught, he gave her a sly smile with glimmering eyes. But, when he didn't catch her, his attention on his own task, she was left to allow her mind to gill with imagination.

She was reminded as she ran her eyes along the cut of his jaw, the plants of his features, and the high points in-between, that he would be stepping behind the lavender veil with her. His previous conversation with her had only revolved around her and what she wanted out of this experience, straying her mind away from the fact that he was going to be a part of the package.

What would he look like with smoke pluming from his mouth? Would his lilypad eyes go glazed and red? She wondered if his hands would feel any different gliding over her skin, if his lips would still feel as pillowy against hers.

The thought had her cheeks warming, a sheepish smile forming around the toothbrush between her lips.

Harry finished before her, stepping out of the bathroom to give her privacy to change into her pajamas. "I'll wait for you out here," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of her head.

Closing the door behind himself, she was left alone with the chilled tile under her socked feet. Glancing at the mirror, (Y/N) found herself fresh-faced with wide eyes and a slight swell to her lips from the amount of times she rolled them between her teeth. Blinking, she wondered if she would look any different to Harry after she pulled the smoke into her lungs.

It was with rushed hands that she dressed into her sleep clothes (really nothing more than a pair of tiny shorts she would inevitably kick off in the night, and a shirt she had stolen so long ago from Harry that it was hers now), almost slipping her top on backwards before she righted herself in the mirror. Stepping out of the washroom with her laundry being dropped atop her duffle for later, (Y/N) saw Harry once again at his dresser.

This time, he looked to her with an easy smile, his hands working over the surface before him.

"Better?" he smiled, lip ring bobbing.

"Mhm," she hummed, moving towards him in slow strides, "What are you doing?"

Turning back to face his hands, he told her, "Jus' getting our things ready. Do you want to watch?"

A pinch creased her brows as she went towards him. Peering around his shoulder, she saw him working with one of the loose papers from before and a small pile of crushed up greenery.

"What do you have to do?" (Y/N) only had a vague idea of what all went into preparing for a session like this.

Smiling down at her, his ministrations slowed now that her attention was placed on his hands. He sidestepped just enough to allow her an unobstructed view of his work. "I figured we'd stick with a joint this first time, so I've got to roll one up for us to use."

Looking at it now, while she didn't have much knowledge of any of this, she could see familiar pieces forming. The paper would be rolled and twisted with the bud inside, Harry flickering a lighter at the end like a cigarette when it was ready.

"How do you do that?" she muttered, stepping that much closer, feeling as if she were a child pressing their nose against the glass separating them from gallons of ice cream.

A huffed laugh fell from his lips then. Lifting his arm up, he beckoned her to stand between his chest and the dresser. "C'mere."

Slipping into the small space he freed for her, the heat of his chest could be felt against her back. Though she caught whiffs of it before, now the herby, earthy smell of the bud was right at her nose, wafting through the air and clinging to her skin. Right in front of her, Harry worked around her, his fingers deftly working through his supplies.

"First," he started, "You've got to keep the paper flat out and put one of the filters at the end." She watched as he pulled a tiny white piece from the canister, setting it at the middle of one of the short ends of the paper. He kept it stable when he reached for the ground up weed that he had piled in the lid to the container, a small mound he pinched at before sprinkling the chunks in a line across the paper. "We've got to fill it up enough so there's not any air bubbles between," he explained as he worked, his arms hovering above her shoulders as he created their joint with the ease of experience. "This part’s always a little hard for me," he told her, to her surprise.

"What do you mean?" He could have fooled her.

"'S hard to pack it in like this," he elaborated, his voice dull as he concentrated, "M'fingers are too big, so I've got to be extra careful that I don't mess it up."

Honing her gaze in on his digits, she had to keep herself from tipping her head to the side and falling victim to the sight. She could see it then, she figured, watching as he tried to pat everything as tightly and precisely as possible. His fingers definitely were too big.

"Oh," she sounded.

A breathy laugh came from behind her, the exhale twisting through the hair on the top of her head. "Would y'do something for me, love?" he asked, finally packing enough in as tightly as he could before he started folding the ends of the thin paper.

She gave a nod, now too transfixed on his hands to speak with an even tone.

"Would you give this a lick for me?" he asked, "We've gotta seal it up before I can twist it all up."

"Like, the paper?" she clarified, eyeing the open flap he was presenting to her with the joint grasped carefully between his fingers.

Harry hummed a confirmation. "There's glue on this edge like an envelope. Gotta make it sticky, then I can close it up for us."

"Um, okay," she muttered, placing a steadying hand on his wrist as he brought the almost-joint to her lips.

Parting her mouth, she swiped the tip of her tongue along the very edge of the paper. It didn't taste quite as artificially sweet as a regular envelope, but then again, everything was coated in that dusky scent that the herb folded inside held.

"Thank you, baby," he told her, pulling the joint from her lips as he did the closing motion of sealing the edge to the roll. She watched as he did the final step, twisting down the free edge into a tight swirl before he presented it with the filtered end between his fingertips. "All done."

In front of (Y/N) was the stereotypical joint that she had seen in the few films that showed as much. The paper was translucent in the way that she could clearly see it was filled from the inside with dark, green flakes. The filtered edge was tapered down into a small funnel, leaving the head of the roll trumpeting out, thick with the ground up weed.

"That was fast," (Y/N) muttered, wanting to reach out and touch, but too scared.

"I've gotten pretty good, I can't lie," he joked with her, pressing his lips to the back of her head. A paused settled again before he spoke to her, his head still dipped down as he murmured, "Y'still feeling alright, darling? Still want to, or do y'want to go to bed and watch a movie instead?"

Examining the joint in front of her, the thick scent of the weed surrounding her with the heat of Harry's chest at her back, she nodded her head. "I still want to."

Dropping an arm to wrap around her waist from behind, Harry hugged her to him for a moment. "Grab a jacket then, and we'll go out back for a second, yeah?"

"Outside?" she asked, turning in his hold.

"Don't want it stinking up the house, right?" He looked at her with a raised brow, already stepping towards the closet in search of his own coat. "We'll be fast, baby, 's alright."

(Y/N) supposed he was onto something, realizing that she had never been struck by the heavy scent like she would figure if he had smoked in his bedroom. As long as no one complained, it wasn't a bad idea to head outback for a second. It would be nice to take in deep breaths in between the smoke too, she figured.

With a set of slippers on her feet, and a thick hoodie on her body, she followed Harry out the back door, ending on the back patio. He sat on the stoop at her feet, patting the space next to him.

"Warm enough?" he asked, moonlight waning above their heads.

Snuggling closer to his side, she nodded her head. "I'm alright, thank you. Are you warm?"

Despite the unzipped jacket on his form and the thin t-shirt underneath, Harry gave her a small smile. "'M good, baby."

Flicking out a lighter and the joint from his pocket, he sparked the flame with a flick of his fingers.

He ran the spark over the trumpeted tip of the joint, his face warming in the firelight glow. "We'll take it easy tonight, yeah?" he murmured, concentration on his hands, "I don't think it'll take much to get y'there, so we probably won't finish this but we'll save the rest for another time if you want."

She watched as he rotated the edge of the joint over the flame, evenly burning the tip. "Are you not going to have any?"

"I will," he assured her, "But, I want to make sure I can take care of you. I won't be having too much."

Having a deja vu moment, (Y/N) was reminded of how it felt to be sitting in his lap as he fed her wine, keeping his own head clear while he let her run wild.

With the end of the joint glowing a warm orange, Harry put the lighter away. He ashed the very tip away, revealing cool lavender smoke twisting through the air with a heady scent clinging to the particles.

"Want the first go?" he asked, tipping the roll towards her in an offer.

"No, no," she answered immediately, "You first."

His smile was lopsided as he agreed, pulling the joint to his mouth. She watched as he tucked the filtered end between his lips, taking in a shallow inhale with the fiery end glowing to life. His chest expanded as he inhaled. He only pulled the roll away from his lips when his chest was puffed with smoke, a lingering second passing before he exhaled, plumes of dancing smoke drifting through the air. The heavy, thick aroma of the weed surrounded them.

(Y/N) couldn't pull her eyes from him as the smoke seeped from between his lips, a thin, violet filter hazing his features. The moon above seemed to catch each particle, drowning the scene in cool toned shades, muted and closed.

She waited for something to change in the way he looked, the way he acted. When the only thing he did was turn to her with a blink, once again offering the joint to her for a try, she wasn't sure what she had expected.

"Do y'think y'can do that?"

Her brows creased. "Do what?"

Amusement molded his features as he tipped his chin towards his offering. "Taking a hit," he stated, "Inhaling, and everything."

"I-I think so," she answered, carefully pulling the roll from his fingers. She hesitated before taking it to her lips, nervous to replicate his actions while he watched. "Do you feel any different?"

His smile was warm as he shook his head. "No—probably won't be too different tonight. I've built my tolerance pretty high, so I'll be fine."

"Oh," she sounded, feeling the slightest bit disappointed knowing that she wouldn't get the full experience of seeing him for what he was under the influence. Maybe sometime she could convince him to let it go. Focusing back on the joint, she stared intensely at the thin ribbon of smoke falling from the tip. "How do I inhale?"

"Jus' breathe in, baby," Harry laughed, throwing an arm across her shoulders. He tucked her against his side, warming her through her layers. "Only take a little bit at a time, though. And, if y'need to cough, jus' let it happen. You'll be alright."

Though it was only a few tiny rules, it felt like so much to remember, to keep track of while she was trying something so foreign.

"Wh-What if I take too much?" she muttered, worrying now the longer that she let it keep burning. She hoped she wasn't wasting everything he'd done for her.

Harry paused, rolling her question around his head before answering. "You'll be alright," he assured her, "Jus' don't want you to take too much, or anything, that's all."

The idea of taking too much scared her more than the other rules. She didn't know what too much was; how would she know if there was too much in her lungs, how would she know if she needed to pull back?

"Can you help me?" she murmured, worry lacing through her tone.

"I can hold it for you if you want?" he offered, though his option didn't seem so concrete as she had hoped.

"You can't do more?"

A small silence sat between them when he didn't answer right away. She looked to him, finding him looking at the joint between her fingers with a contemplative crease between his brows.

"I might have an idea that we can try," he started, flicking his gaze to match hers. "Y'trust me, right?"

Her nod was immediate.

A small smile folded his lips as he took the joint from her hand. He brought the roll to his lips, taking in another deep inhale with his eyes fluttering as his chest expanded. The cherry brightened as he pulled in the smoke. As soon as he pulled it away from his mouth, he spoke to her in a muddled voice, a small streak of smoke escaping through his nose.

"C'mere."

(Y/N)'s eyes rounded out in confusion. She was already right here, right?

The arm Harry had thrown across her shoulders slithered around her form until his palm came to a cradle on her cheek. He pressed forward then, his lips parting just enough for (Y/N) to get the hint.

He wanted to kiss her.

Fluttering her eyelids to a close, she leaned forward in an attempt to meet him halfway. Harry, with his hand on her cheek, stopped her short, a small distance left between them.

With her eyes opening to slits, she found him looking to her with his own gaze trained on her lips. His tender hand on her cheek shifted until his thumb was resting in the full of her bottom lip. Tugging just slightly, he parted her pout into a small gape. Harry ripped his head, leaning just that much closer with his pursed lips.

(Y/N) held her breath, her own mouth parted open as she felt soft plumes of smoke fan over her lips. His lips just barely grazed her own, pressing against the soft pillows as the smoke ghosted over her tongue, heady and thick.

Pulling away just enough with smoke still twirling around his features, he told her, "Breathe in, baby."

His voice was still heavy in his throat, emulating the way he spoke in the morning. The detail gave (Y/N) something to focus on as she instinctually closed her mouth as if biting down, the smoke now contained to a thin veil between them. He kept his hand steady on her cheek as she inhaled the way she saw him do, her chest bloating as she filled her lungs with the gifted smoke.

While she didn't feel the burning in her chest that she thought would accompany the smoke, she instead felt a thick heat in the back of her throat. She tried to mimic what she had seen Harry do, keeping the smoke in her lungs for a moment before exhaling, but she couldn't keep up when she felt her eyes begin to water.

Unable to handle it much longer, (Y/N) released her breath in clumsy pants, embarrassed to be reacting so intensely right in Harry's face. Though, all he did was stay steady in his spot by her, thumbing at her chin and coaxing her through it.

Tipping her head down, she finally coughed into her sleeve, eyes watering as she went with his hand falling to the slope of her neck.

"'S alright, baby, jus' let it out," he murmured, his voice a gentle soothe, "You'll feel better in a second, love."

By the time she regained her breath, there was a slight glaze over the back of her throat—not quite a tingle, but not entirely normal. Harry tipped his head down by then, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth with his palm spanning the shelf of her collarbones.

"Y'alright?" he murmured, ever patient when he pulled away to match her eyes.

Nodding her head, (Y/N) swallowed around her odd throat. "Was that alright?" she croaked, wet bottom lashes grazing the height of her cheekbone.

A fond smile molded Harry's features into soft curves. "Y'did jus' fine, lovebug. So proud of you for not getting scared," he praised her, thumb running over her warm skin, "Feels a little weird doesn't it?"

(Y/N) didn't have to think before she nodded her head, watching as he ashed the joint they had probably let burn for just a touch too long. "Really weird," she told him earnestly, "My throat feels funny, but that's all so far."

"Yeah? Want to keep going?" His eyes skated over her features, taking in every reaction, every minute stretch of her muscles.

While she was sure there was something that would hit soon, she still felt comfortable enough to take a little more from him. (Y/N) answered with a small nod.

"Same way we did before?"

Remembering the feel of his lips glancing across hers, the faint brush of the tip of his nose over hers, she could feel her skin simmering. "Yeah," she answered, hoping he thought the breathy quality of her voice was a lingering side effect of her coughing.

He didn't look entirely fooled when that sly smile touched his lips. "Alright," he said, bringing the joint back up to his lips, "We'll do a couple more, then I think you're done, baby. That alright?"

"That's alright," she murmured, "Thank you."

This time, watching him taking in the long drag, (Y/N) knew what to expect when he turned to her. She allowed him to hover close enough that he was almost kissing her as he blew out another plume of smoke for her to inhale. When she took her time filling her lungs with the smoke, Harry tipped his head and smeared his lips over her cheek, kissing down her neck.

She had more confidence this go around, coaxing herself through as Harry held her. That thick feeling in the back of her throat intensified as she closed her eyes, her chest expanding under her borrowed hoodie.

"Doing good, baby," he murmured into her ear, pulling away to match her gaze, "Go ahead and breathe out, love. I think you're good."

Following his direction, the lavender smoke twirled between them. Sucking in clean air, she filtered out her lungs. This time around, opening up her eyes to look up at the moonlight and the stars blinking over the inky canvas, things felt different. There was a bit of lethargy to her movements, even in the darting of her gaze. Her limbs felt as if there was extra weight attached, something heavy that slowed her before she even had a chance to move.

It was an odd feeling, something that she'd never experienced before or had anything of comparison to, but it wasn't unpleasant. She'd even say she liked it so far.

Harry seemed to pick up on the fact that she was edging into new territory as he watched over her, eyes sparking from amusement. "One more?"

"Yeah," she settled, her lips feeling looser the more she sunk into the moment, "One more."

"Wanna try by yourself?" he asked, taking his own small puff from the joint before he was angling it towards her.

"Not by myself, no," she argued, still scared to be in charge of her own dosing.

"I can hold it for you if y'want—take it back when you've had enough," Harry offered, letting a cloud leave his lips as he spoke.

"Okay," she nodded, taking on his offer.

"Open," he instructed, setting the filter of the joint between her lips, "Then jus' suck in, okay? You'll be able to feel it in the back of your throat, so stop if you've had enough and I haven't taken it back yet."

(Y/N) wrapped her lips around the filter, taking in Harry's directions with absent ears. She couldn't imagine he wouldn't be able to catch herself and her intake before he did.

Emulating what she'd seen from him before, she sucked in, her cheeks hollowing just enough to show off the shape of her cheekbones. The back of her throat warmed, embers igniting in a low burn. This was more than what Harry had given her before, but she didn't mind. This would be just enough,she figured.

At the perfect moment, Harry pulled away prompting her to breathe out the final cloud of smoke. He asked the joint once more, a small pile of grey dust having collected at their feet.

A few huffed coughs fell from (Y/N)'s lips, unused to the feeling of gathering the smoke directly from the source. Harry wrapped his arm around her, tucking her into his side as she eased through the final intake.

"How do you feel?" he asked her, voice low under the moonlight.

Looking around, (Y/N) tried to find the answer to the question.

It was an odd feeling, she decided. She felt both light and heavy at the same time, her head in the clouds with her body entirely anchored to the ground. Prickles poked at her skin, her limbs their own entity as she brought her hands into a bundle in her lap.

There was no other way to describe it other than the fact that she felt high.

"Good," she answered simply, "Different."

"You'll get used to it, my love," he murmured into her ear, pressing a soft kiss to the space just before.

"Do you feel different?" she asked, her voice heavy in her dry throat.

"A little," Harry explained, stubbing out the cherry of the joint, "But, I think 's time we get inside before either of us freezes, don't you think?"

"Yeah, yes."

It was when Harry let out a small huffed laugh that (Y/N) couldn't contain her own laughter. A loud peal fell from her lips. She wasn't even sure why she was laughing. That only made her laugh harder.

—————

"That is so funny," (Y/N) giggled to herself, clenching her hands in the fabric of her top lest she forget they were there. "Harry, did you see that?! It was funny!"

He was back in the kitchen, working over the stove with a pot of noodles boiling away and a cheesey sauce working on the other burner, leaving (Y/N) to watch this movie all on her own.

"Which part, baby?" he asked, his rumbling voice sounding farther away than she remembered.

(Y/N) blinked, watching the brightly colored animated characters go across the television screen. "The one that was just on! With the cat on the piano!"

How could he not have been paying attention? (Y/N) had never seen something so entertaining before, if she was being honest. This had to be her new favorite movie—she just needed to remember what it was called.

"Oh," he sounded, "I did see that, sorry, lovebug. It was very funny."

"Good," she responded absently, craning her neck to look over the back of the couch towards where he stood in the kitchen, "I'm so hungry, H."

"I know," he laughed, looking at her with his skin seemingly glowing and the smile of a prince. "'M almost done, okay?"

"How close is ‘almost’?"

His smile only widened at her line of questioning. (Y/N) mimicked that look without a thought.

"About five minutes. Can you wait that long?"

"I'll try." She couldn't help the pout that took her features. She had told him she was hungry what felt like hours ago, and she still was waiting for food. He wouldn't even let her help either, but she could argue that she would have eaten already if he just let her follow him to the kitchen.

Raising his brows, Harry fixed his attention back on the television screen. "Oh, look. The little cat is back, baby."

(Y/N)'s attention took a one-eighty as she did the same to face the TV once more. Harry was right, the kitten was back on screen. She didn't want to miss this.

The high had hit her at full force only minutes after Harry had taken her inside, setting off a firing squad of so many different feelings (Y/N) had never experienced before. She had so much energy, but at the same time she wanted to sleep. She wanted to kiss and hold her boyfriend, but also had to make a point to remember where her limbs were. She wanted to eat and drink as much water as she could, but couldn't find the attention to do either of those things. In the back of her mind, she even debated on writing some for the course paper she needed to work on before the midterm exam next month—her mind swirling with ideas, but they were all out of order.

How she decided on watching a movie instead of any of her other raucous ideas, she wasn't sure, but she was happy with the choice. This way, she was able to wrap up in the soft pink throw blanket that she left in his bedroom, sink into the new feeling, and make out with Harry when he was done cooking.

(It had really been Harry's prompting and prodding that led her to the conclusion that yes, she wanted to watch a movie and cuddle up with him while she ate, but he was happy with letting her assume it had been her own choice).

Time moved in mysterious ways since the high had hit, making it hard to decipher if it had been five hours or mere five minutes before Harry came to her with bowls of pasta and a buttery warm sauce poured over top.

"That looks so good, H," she bubbled, overjoyed at the sight of food, "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome, baby," he smiled, "Do you need more water?"

"No, just—Hold on." (Y/N) stumbled over her words, organizing her thoughts as steadily as she could and ultimately failing in favor of reaching towards Harry.

The second he settled into the cushion at her side, she had his jaw cradled in her palms, lips puckered and pressed against the corner of his mouth. A laugh bubbled through his lips, his smile felt under her kiss.

"I missed," she laughed along with him, pulling away to watch his eyes light up and creases form around his smile, "Sorry."

"'S alright," he beamed, cheeks still cradled in her palms, "Jus' slow down and try again."

Though she didn't exactly have the wherewithal to follow his directions, she definitely tried her best. This time, she felt as if she went slower as she leaned in, pressing her lips to Harry's. He reciprocated her affection in soft kisses, (Y/N) melting the longer she reveled in his touch.

Her skin practically sang everywhere he touched her, taking her back to her wonderings of if there would be something extra to their affection while under the influence. That prickling that she had felt in her limbs just when the smoke started taking effect, now only occurred when he ran his fingertips over her skin or held her hand in his. The buzzing made her smile into the kiss, the pinpoint tickling under her skin.

"What's got you so smiley, hm?" Harry asked against her mouth, pulling away despite the tender hold she had on his cheeks.

She beamed up at him with an easy grin, a rose colored glaze over her vision of him. "I just like touching you," she told him, "It tickles."

He raised his brows in reaction, biting back a smile. "It tickles?"

Watching the clear amusement on his face, (Y/N) couldn't help her own smile from turning into bubbling laughter. "Uh-huh," she barely answered, everything else dissolving around her laughter.

"Now, why are you laughing?"

Harry's investigation only proved to make the entire moment funnier to (Y/N) as she doubled over. Snuggling into his chest, she clung to him with her laughter muffled against his shoulder. "I don't know," she giggled, barely sure that the words even left her brain.

"Oh, lovebug," he crooned, wrapping his arms around her, "What am I going to do with you?"

A contented smile landed on (Y/N)'s features as she settled down. She burrowed against him, smushing her cheek on his shoulder and bundling her arms between their bodies. "Love me."

The tip of Harry's nose skimmed the top of her head. "I already do that," he told her, words fanning across the strands of hair crowning her.

"I love you too," (Y/N) answered simply.

The cryptic sense of time she held struck once again when Harry drew away from her. Her body had relaxed into his as if she had napped on him for hours, but she could have been nestled in his arms for a max of three minutes for all she knew.

"Are y'still hungry? Or do y'want me to save your noodles for later?"

With that, (Y/N) swore her mind had been blown. "You brought me food, I totally forgot!" Twirling too fast for her brain to keep up, she was almost dizzy by the time she saw the bowl of pasta Harry had set in front of her, complete with salty cheese layered on top just like she asked. "That looks so good, H! Thank you."

Harry gave her a small smile. "You're welcome, baby."

A minute sense of deja vu niggled in the back of her head for just a second, but (Y/N) chose to ignore it in favor of twirling her fork through the spaghetti noodles.

Had cheese always tasted this good?

—————

"Harry, are you listening? This song is beautiful."

"I know, love. 'S perfect, huh?"

The drawl of Harry's response had (Y/N) peeking up at him. She found him lying with his eyes closed, mouth parted in a small gape, though his hand on her back never slowed the soothing circle he had curated.

"Are you tired?" (Y/N) whispered.

A slight smile touched the corner of his mouth at her question. "A little. Are you?"

(Y/N) paused, evaluating herself to give him an honest answer. "Yeah. A little." His heartbeat was set to a soothing pace under her ear, slowing into a steady rhythm as if urging him to sleep. "Are you almost asleep?"

Though she could see his eyes were closed and his breathing was coming in soft puffs, Harry didn't slack on the duties he had taken on for the night. Since pulling her to bed and setting a playlist to softly sing through his bedroom, he had kept his cuddling hold on her firm and anchoring. He answered her every time she spoke to him and even crawled his way to the bedside table to skip the song whenever she started to whine over the melody.

"A little," he smiled, his voice a deep rumble, "Are you?"

Another pause. "Maybe," (Y/N) answered honestly. She could fall asleep right now if she wanted, but she also wanted to keep listening to music.

Harry hummed, his chest vibrating under her cheek. "Is there anything y'want before y'get sleepy? More water or a snack?"

What did she need before she could peacefully fall asleep?

Blinking her gaze up at him, she took in the tip of his nose, the curving pillow of his cupid's bow and the creamy texture of his skin.

"A kiss? Please?"

At that, Harry cracked his eyes open to peer down at her. "Y'haven't had enough of those yet?"

"Never," she answered, completely honest. Harry still plucked a smile onto his lips at her response.

"Can't blame you, darling—me neither."

Shifting between the sheets, Harry used his free hand to cup (Y/N) cheek and tip her chin as he dipped down. He sealed his lips over hers in a loving kiss, nothing more than a soft pressing of their lips. She swore she could feel every ridge, every dip, every plane of his touch, catalogued to her memory though she hoped she would recall it in less fuzzy detail.

"Love you," she murmured between breaths, immediately planting her lips across his once more.

Harry smiled into the contact. He broke the rhythm of her kisses even further when he drew away, ignoring the way she chased after him with a craned neck and puckered lips.

"I love you too, lovebug." His eyes scanned over her features not for the first time that night, though something softened in his gaze. "You had a good time tonight?"

Walking through the lavender veiled events, everything was just a bit hazy and herbal, (Y/N)'s smile only grew.

"Uh-huh," she beamed up at him, feeling herself settle into him that much more, "Thank you for showing me."

Thumbing at the height of her cheekbone, Harry surged forward to press a delicate kiss to the bridge of her nose. "'M happy y'feel good, darling. That's all I want when we try new things."

"I'm always happy when I'm with you."

(Y/N) blinked as she saw his face light up with a bubbly smile, creases appearing by his eyes, dimples thumbed into his cheeks, and a slight flush over his nose.

Had his smile always been that pretty?

—————

eeeek! so happy I could get a new aster blurb out for everyone this year! thank u sm for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and lmk if yu have any ideas for anything you'd like to see!

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jarofstyles · 6 months

Text

Indigo- Sapphire

Hello my loves, here they are! Your favorite tattoo artist and his girlie. Let me know what you think plz plz plz

Series Masterlist

Patreon

Warnings- tattooing, mention of anxiety and needles etc

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Y/N had a lot of thoughts.

The first one was that tattoos hurt, yes, but in a different way than she had originally thought. Harry had been right in telling her it was more so uncomfortable than anything else, because while it wasn’t a sharp, blazing pain, it was dull. Throbbing. Like she was being scratched by her cat in the same spot. It was bearable, though. Way less discomfort than she had thought. It was nice to feel capable, to not worry that she was going to embarrass herself in front of Harry.

Which brought her to thought number two.

Harry was stupidly, ridiculously, infuriatingly gorgeous.

Y/N had been peeping at him as they spoke, his eyes glued to the piece as he spoke which gave her more of a sense of comfort. Like she was getting away with staring. It would be hard not to with him up so close to her, his warmth radiating through the plastic-y gloves. The first thing she had noticed was how nice his hair was. A warm chestnut hue with some natural caramel highlights- at least, she was pretty sure they were natural. It was longer and curled, little ringlets near his ears making her fingers itch to tuck it back for him. It was clipped up in the front, and that made sense considering he had a habit of running his hand through his hair, but she wanted to see it down again. The full effect.

In another way, she was happy that it was pulled out of the way because she could really get a good look at him. His jaw was sharp, but not so much that it was necessarily stone like. He looked like a statue, but one that was carved with the human likeness that made people feel uneasy. His cheeks were high and his brows were straight, not a ton of arch to them, but he kept himself well groomed. There was a tiny hint of stubble on his upper lip along with a cute little birthmark that she hadn’t noticed before. That had brought her attention to his mouth.

It was almost embarrassing, how distracted she had gotten watching his lips move while he talked. They were a raspberry pink, slightly wet from his habit of occasionally licking over the bottom one before starting a sentence. A pronounced cupid’s bow dipped in the middle of the top, making her want to trace it. They were a little bigger than she had normally noticed, but then again- she didn’t typically spend this much time observing a man in such detail.

He had a few blemishes, a few cuts that looked like he may have gotten himself while shaving, but it just made him human. Reminded her that he was just like her in that way. Just… gorgeous. His eyelashes were something she was incredibly jealous of, the irritating trait of men getting the good eyelashes striking yet again. She had to wonder how they’d look if he used her lengthening mascara? A wandering thought to think about later.

They’d been chatting about this and that, a bit of gossip about Niall and his new girlfriend who he had recently introduced to the group, some about her work, some about his. What really caught her off guard though, was how easy it was to talk to him.

Silences aren't awkward. Sometimes they fell into them and it stayed that way for a moment before moving on naturally and she didn’t feel like crawling out of her skin. Y/N had a bad habit of wanting to fill those silences so she would babble, and considering she still had a decent amount of nerves because her crush on Harry was growing in size by the minute, she really liked this detail. He was being sweet and inquisitive without prying all that much, asking the basic friend questions- and some odd ones.

What’s your favorite color? His was Yellow, he responded.

Did she have any pets? No, her old roommate did and she catsits sometimes. He didn’t, but he wanted one.

What was her favorite gift she got as a kid? A knock off barbie dreamhouse. She hadn’t cared that it wasn’t the same as the rest of her friends, her mom had been so happy to give it to her that it had become the most cherished thing. She had it in her attic to this day for her future kids, should she choose to have any. His was a high quality art set.

Did she believe in the paranormal? Yes, she did. He was undecided. A healthy skeptic, he’d said.

It was lighthearted but also not necessarily small talk, which usually made Harry itch. He’d confessed that earlier to her, making her see a bit further into him. It was obvious that he was curious about some of the things about her and considering what had happened the night before, she had to wonder what the intention was.

He had said he got nervous around her because she was so pretty it intimidated him. That he said and did stupid things when he was around a girl like her. Insinuating maybe a returned crush? Confirming it? She didn’t know. She also didn’t know what he wanted out of this. Was it going to turn into a nice friendship where they laugh about his crush on her later on down the line, or would this develop into something more?

Y/N didn’t want to get ahead of herself. They’d just started talking, but having been repressed from allowing herself to feel that attraction to him, it had just hit her like a truck. He was so sweet, so gentle with her. The opposite of what people may assume about his exterior. When they went out, despite how charming he was, he was quiet most of the time. Outside their friend group, she had seen him revert back into a cool mask, stony and giving the impression that people shouldn’t come up to him. Not quite as intense as the one he had worn with her but enough for her to see that his resting face definitely gave him the reputation he had. Sometimes she wished she had that ability, considering all sorts of people came up to her to talk when she didn’t even know them.

If this was the real him, the one who had theorized with her if ghosts were real, she wanted to know more about him.

“How are you doing?” He had stopped to wipe some excess ink, looking up at her from the stool.

Harry had felt her staring. It had become increasingly harder to keep his cool when he’d thought about it, so he had tried his best to focus on the piece. It was easier said than done. He could feel her eyes scanning him, seeing it from the corner of his eye. It intimidated him. Him out of all people! That’s how he knew this was actually deep for him. Sure, he had crushes before. It was just- Y/N made him feel a lot of new things to him, and that’s why he had fumbled so hard early on.

This was her first tattoo and she had entrusted him with it. His art was currently inked on to her skin and the linework was done, finally moving on to shading. She’d taken it like a champ, sitting better than a lot of other people did. There had been no squirming, no complaining, just a request to move her arm a bit which he had happily done. Her skin took the ink well, the lines standing out against the tone of it. Still, he wanted to check in again.

“I’m good.” Her tiny smile came up again. It flipped his stomach. “Great, actually. I expected it to hurt a lot worse. I mean, it isn’t great but I wasn’t sure how my pain tolerance was going to hold up. It was just like you said, the scratches!” There was a bit of babbling from her, making his own lip quirk up. Too fucking cute.

“Great. You’re doing fantastic. I’ve had veterans sit in my chair and bitch about it hurting, so you’ve got them beat.” He knocked her knee with his hand before moving to switch out the needles. “M’gonna switch to doing a bit of shading now. This is going to feel a tiny bit different but let me know if you need a break again.” Eyes looked towards her water bottle he had given her sitting between her legs. “And take a sip of that, please.”

Y/N gave a little salute, nodding to him and doing as asked as he switched the things out. It was little cute things like that salute that made him want to cuddle into her. She was just stupidly fucking adorable and he had now gotten to a point where he was seeing deeper parts of her personality. It drove him mad. He had to pace himself, aware that not even 24 hours ago she had been nervous around him for a completely different reason.

The new set was finished being set up, Harry turning back towards her when he heard the water bottle crinkle again. Holding it up, she shook it slightly to show that she had drank down to another divet in the bottle, making him chuckle quietly. “Good job, sweetheart.” He praised, gloving up. “Thank you for listening t’me. Now we have to get started so we can get proper food in your stomach.”

Y/N was happy he couldn’t read thoughts because hers were going wild.

Sweetheart? Good job? The fact that he was going to feed her after?

Her thighs subtly pressed together. The words had gone straight to a hot, gooey, sticky place in her stomach and jolted right down between her thighs. It was depraved on her part really, considering it had all been chaste. He had praised her for listening, for drinking water. He’d only used a nickname… and that smooth voice that had her toes curling in her shoes. Heat burned her ears as he turned back to her with the buzzing gun in hand. Yeah, he would definitely have some thoughts if he could see how much just a simple praise affected her.

Sure, she knew she had a praise kink. It wasn’t a shock to her, but the ease of Harry being able to trigger it was a real problem. It had always been something that she melted with, being called a good girl, doing a good job, taking it so well. Praise kink 101, beginner stuff. Adding in the strikingly handsome and mysterious to her man with a semi admitted crush on her, his hands on her body and his willingness to take care of her? She was a goddamn goner. Finished. All he had to do was continue to stroke her ego a little bit and she would slide down to her knees. Pathetic? Perhaps. She never claimed to be anything otherwise.

His hands were warm through the gloves, holding her arm in place as the needles stippled her skin. Eyes went back to his face, his septum piercing corrected from being out of place earlier. Only this time, she caught him licking over his lip and swore she saw a flash of… something. Did he….?

Her mouth opened before her brain could tell her not to ask because it would be a blatant admittance to staring, but it was too late.

“You- Do you have a tongue piercing?”

Y/N winced slightly at her own tone. It sounded incredulous, but it was more so shocking that it had taken her a bit to notice that had her so surprised. More than judgemental, she was curious. “Sorry, sorry. That was a weird tone. M’not judging you! I swear. I just didn’t notice it and I thought I would have.” In her head, she facepalmed severely. Probably would have physically if it wouldn't have jostled her arm that was tattooed. “God, ignore me. I just didn’t know you had one and for some reason it surprised me.”

Her flustered nature made Harry grin. It was fucking cute. He hadn’t even remembered that he had one because he’d had it for a while but he had changed it recently. “Hey- It’s cool.” He let himself laugh, squeezing over her arm as he shot her a look. “I do. I know you aren’t judgin’ me. I changed it recently. It used to be pink, so not as noticable, I don’t blame you for not noticing. I wanted to go back to silver though.” He poked his tongue out a bit so she could see as he wiped away some ink, watching in amusement as her eyes widened.

“Oh. I feel like I keep rambling at you.” She laughed, her own embarrassment evident on her face. “That’s so cool. I thought about getting my nose pierced at some point but I don’t think it would suit me.” It still did sit in the back of her mind sometimes, though. It looked good on Harry, his occasional hoop and the stud he had most of the time always having been attractive to her. “I’m going to ask the overasked question- Did it hurt?”

Her curiosity was only natural. If anything, it made him feel nice to know she actually had an interest in that sort of thing. He hadn’t been hiding his piercing on purpose, but if he had realized she would be so interested in it earlier then maybe he would have switched a while back. “Eh, not that bad. It swelled up a bit so I had to be careful for a bit but luckily mouth stuff tends to heal seemingly quicker. I stuck with a soft food diet for a bit- got one of those punch cards at the smoothie place down the block, had 2 free ones by the time I was done.” He laughed at the memory. It was still a place he frequented every week. “Couldn’t do anything with it and had to be careful so I didn’t bite my tongue. It swells a bit and it’s partially why it’s recommended not to eat hard or spicy foods.”

Harry had given plenty of piercings before and the tongue wasn’t the worst, but the healing was defintely one of the more annoying ones. You couldn’t really forget about the swelling in your mouth, and the iron taste stuck around for a few days. Luckily for him, he wasn’t a chatterbox and people barely knew he had even had it done.

“Wow. I think you have a bigger pain tolerance than me.” Y/N laughed, feeling her cheeks cool down slightly. Harry hadn’t seemed offput by the questions, rather eager to answer it. But one more remained. “So is there a reason you got it? Y’know, the aesthetics and stuff like that? I’d be worried about a tooth chipping or something.” Y/N babied her teeth so any piercing in the mouth 24/7 would worry her.

“No, no. It’s far back enough that it doesn’t rest on the teeth, the roof of my mouth. There is a piercing I refuse to do that is a bar through the tip of the tongue. If you do it incorrectly you can cause severe nerve damage, and it’s known to chip teeth. But a regular piercing on your tongue isn’t much of a risk. Not in my experience.” He hummed. Again, he felt a little flustered at this one because the reason for the piercing was for aesthetics, yes… but. “Real talk? I thought it looked cool and there are… benefits to having one.” At her raised brow he knew she wanted the proper answer, making him exhale deeply. “Uh- It’s like… It enhances oral sex. Some people think it feels better.”

Harry was a self proclaimed pussy lover. He liked dicks just fine too, he didn’t limit himself, but there was just something about licking up a pretty cunt that had gotten dripping just for him. His hookups were short but there was always a longing to give more of that. It was something that plagued his fantasies, as shameful as he felt, thinking about the girl sitting right in front of him.

Sitting between her thighs with his arm locked around her hips, keeping her nice and still despite the twitches she would give off involuntarily as his tongue swiped up her folds, nose bumping her clit as he greedily lapped her up. He could beg for the chance to have her sprawled out for him and her thighs locked around his head as he took his time tasting her. He had been very respectful and wasn’t planning on doing anything to make her uncomfortable, but she had asked. He wouldnt lie to her.

“Oh!” She squeaked. “Damn it. See… I looked up tons of stuff about tattoos and nose piercings but I’m showing my lack of knowledge here.” A nervous giggle erupted, Harry noticing as she squeezed her thighs together. It was subtle- if he hadn’t been paying attention he wouldn’t have seen it. It was caught and he felt downright smug. She was thinking about it and obviously, she didn’t hate the idea.

“S’alright, pet.” He replied, looking up to give her a smile. “You’re sweet. Not a problem to ask me things you want to know. You don’t have to know it all, m’happt yo teach you anything.”

There was a slight shift, a heavier more charged energy in the room as Y/N sat quietly. She found Harry exceedingly handsome, his sex appeal not only oozing from his pores but his heart. She was trying very hard not to get ahead of herself here, knowing she definitely could fall into it if she allowed herself to do the thing she actually wanted. Shyness was her savior, at this point.

They continued talking until he was finished, helping Y/N up and standing with her a moment to make sure she was steady. One too may clients passed out after standing up after a session and he didn’t want that to be her experience. Once she was all clear, he led her over to the mirror to look at her tattoo reflected in the glass. How it looked on her body. She looked it over with a wide smile, flexing her arm to mimic the movement he had told her about before to see the stem did indeed stay where it was supposed to be.

“Harry.. I can’t even thank you enough.” Her words were raspy, awe showing through as she let him wrap it up. He had given her the lecture, the talk about keeping it from the sun, the moisturizing it, not itching, the whole nine yards. She knew most of what he said, but she had still managed to be surprised at how much he seemed to care about the integrity of the tattoo. “It’s incredible. Everything I could have hoped for, both in the tattoo and the experience. I’m so happy with it.” Big eyes were shining up at him, giving him the most awed glint to them. Without warning, she tossed herself into his arms, wrapping them around hus shoulders to take him in for a hug.

He froze for a moment, their embrace catching him off guard. She hadn’t seemed to initiate much touch except for last night when she was tipsy and leaning into him, so he had been surprised at her willingness to do so- but he wasn’t about to waste this. Arms wrapped around her torso, a chuckle leaving his throat as she squeezed herself to him all while being mindful of her tattoo.

She smelled really fucking good. A hint of sweet but defintely something floral. Her cheek pressed against his shoulder as she whispered thanks to him again, pulling back much too soon for his liking. She was beaming, a beam he had put on her face and a picture he wanted to photograph in his mind forever. He had made her smile like that. It had altered his breathing a little bit, watching as she gave him the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Yeah, he was effectively fucked.

“You don’t have t’thank me, Y/N. I’m really happy you chose me to do it. It makes me feel good that you trusted me enough even before we cleared things up.” He knew he would be making up for that for a long time. Not because she would hold it against him, but becaus he hated that his awkwardness had caused any sort of negative feeling for the sweet girl.

“Of course I did. If anything, I knew you’d be professional.” There was a pause before she lightly nudged his foot with her own. “I do prefer us like this, though. I had a lot of fun talking to you.” He had interesting stories, despite being quieter than her, and his voice was utterly delectable. She would eat it up anytime.

“Me as well.” He returned the shy smile to her, walking back towards his office. All her stuff was in there along with his own. Their hands bumped as they walked side by side, his heart rattling in it’s ribbed caged, the slight hook of her pinky as they entered the room making it pause before it was dropped. He had a lump in his throat, one that was begging him to ask for more from her, but it wasn’t the right time.

The right time didn’t come until after they’d grabbed some food down the street. Playing a slight game of knocking feet under the table and gentle flirations, both of them having hated cheeks and in harry’s case, heated ears as they spoke softly to one another the entire time. It was far different than being out with their friends, his attention solely focused on her and the quieter atmosphere allowing her to hear his quieter chuckles and little hums he made in the middle of her sentences as a reply. He let her talk his ear off about her hunt for a certain eyeliner brand at the shops lately and how she’d made friends with employees who text her when it came in, she was only missing the Sapphire and Indigo variations.

Harry sat and responded appropriately, even adding in some things, but he wa content to hear her sweet recalling of the baby penguins she wanted to go see at the museum desperately, her nosy next door neighbor, anything really. It was one of the best meals he’d ever had and he hated that it even had to end.

He could see himself more than happy listening to her rambling every night as they ate. It was a bit shocking considering how much Harry loved his solitude and quiet, but Y/N just tickled a part of him that had never been open for access before. There was no way he could fumble this, no way he could waste an opportunity to take a chance on this. He had to man up and simply ask.

The walk back to the shop was similar to the hallway, their hands knocking until Harry took initiative this time and let their pinkies link. Y/N continued talking, stumbling over her words once as she felt their fingers connect but her pace in words only increased. The smile wider. He took it as a good sign. The journey had been far too short for his liking, the fact he had to take his hand away from hers as she unlocked her car making him frown. Hands stuffed themselves in his pockets to keep from reaching from her again, watching her toss her bag to the passenger seat before turning to him.

“Thank you for-” “Go on a date with me.” Harry’s words tumbled from his lips without being able to stop them, interrupting her mid sentence. Working up the nerve to ask her not allowing him to wait a second more or he would lose the confidence. “Shit- sorry. I meant, would you? Want to go om a date with me?” He watched as she blinked up at him, those pretty eyes rounded and shocked as her mouth opened and closed. It was his turn to ramble. “I had a really good time with you today, and I like you. I know I probably hurt your feelings in the past but I will make it up to you. I took you out tonight but this wasn’t a date- I just…”

Oh, god. This was why he tended to stay the quiet and mysterious type.

“Harry.” Y/N’s hands braced on his forearms, squeezing as she laughed through the utter of his name. “Harry. Relax. It’s okay. I… I would really, really like that.” She watched him deflate slightly from his tense stance, head tilting to the right. “I had an amazing time with you. You don’t have to make anything up to me at all. It was an accident. I’m sensitive. But I like you too.” The admittance was quieter than the rest of her words, shyer. A grown woman feeling like a kid all over again. He liked her.

Liked liked her.

“Yeah?” He asked again, “I’m really happy t’hear that. I wanted to ask you before we went to dinner but I got nervous.” His hand returned to anxiously rub the back of his neck, shooting her his own relieved smile. “I won’t let you regret it. I promise..”

He stepped forward, holding her car door open for her while getting closer to her. It was getting dark and she had stuff to fo tomorrow which she had told him about, her whole itinerary actually. It was- you guessed it- fucking cute. “Need you to get home safe, so text me when you walk in the door, and then we can plan our date. Sound like a plan?”

Y/N nodded, not hesitating before wrapping her arms around his shoulders. This hug wasn less awkward, Harry’s hand falling to her back to rub gently a few times before she pulled back. He’d dwell on how nice she felt pressed against him later. Again, the girl decided to shock him, reaching up on her toes and pressing a kiss to his cheek before sitting down in her driver’s seat.

“Bye Harry. I can’t wait to talk to you again.”

His cheek burned with the heat of her kiss the entire time he watched her drink off. It was cool but very much there as he drove home. The lipgloss stain burned yet again as soon as he got a text once he got inside his own place, shoes kicked off and arm over his head trying to relive the feeling of her lips on his skin yet again.

Y/N: I’m home, inkmaster :-)

H: All in one piece, I hope.

He wasn’t. Surely, a tiny bit of his heart was still stuck in her palm.

Y/N: Yep, lost my sunglasses though. Think they’re in your office. Good thing I’ll be seeing you soon

Y/N: So… our date?

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miszoblin · 4 months

Text

There are two notable markings on Harry’s skin. The first mainly serves to attract a lot of stares and secure the first page of the Daily Prophet far more often than Harry would like. The second sits quietly beneath the sleeve of his cloak and goes by perfectly unnoticed but bothers Harry far more than the brand on his brow has ever served to. Both have got everything to do with Lord Voldemort.

Both are a death sentence, in some manner of speaking.

two words in green ink by @riddleandpottersittinginatree

#when i read this ff i knew i needed to draw it #it was like 615 pages long and it tok me 2 days i love it #harry has a dark mark #i didn’t draw in a while so i kinda cheated with background #i just wanted to draw the tattoos really #i am back in tomarry fandom help me #tomarry #harrymort #two words in green ink #ao3 #fanart #artists on tumblr #harry potter #tomarry fanart #tom marvolo riddle #illustration #harry potter x tom riddle

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 11 months

Text

Young American - Part 19^

This one's a bit sad as it's going into Y/N's family a bit, but it ends well! I hope you guys like it.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Warnings: family drama, death/grief, toxic family dynamic, mentions of miscarriage

WC: 8.7K

Leaving England was honestly one of the saddest things that Y/N ever had to do. She had taken to Harry’s family so well that she almost felt like she was saying goodbye to her own family. And the kids… Archie cried when he said goodbye to her and Harry, but she assured him that she’d be back to visit soon, which Harry echoed as he kissed his nephew on the head. And well, saying goodbye to his sister, grandmother, and mother was just as tearful. Harry was the one doing the comforting, as he was a little more accustomed to saying goodbye this way. It made him really happy that it was hard for her to also leave his family, they really were amazing people and he was glad that she felt the same way about them.

The flight back felt even longer than the one they took to England, maybe because they were both sad to go. But when they arrived they were happy to see Julie waiting for them at the arrivals terminal.

“Welcome back!” She smiled happily and hugged Y/N and Harry tightly, “I missed you guys. How was it?” She asked immediately and she started to talking to her about it all. Harry was smiling from the back seat, just listening to her saying praise after praise about his family. Thankfully, they had the weekend to recover from their journey, so as soon as they got in they had a shower and they knocked out in Y/N’s room.

Harry woke up close to dinner time and carefully unwrapped himself from her body to go get some water.

“Hey.” Harry grumbled softly as he walked into the kitchen to see Julie leaned on the counter eating some dinner.

“Are you guys hungry? I didn’t know if I should wake you.” Julie said and Harry shook his head.

“Y/N is still out and I’m just thirsty.” He explained and she nodded.

“I’m glad things went really well.”

“Yeah, I mean, I knew it’d be good, but it just brought a lot of stuff up…I’m sure she’ll talk to you about it when you guys have some private time, but ummm…we discussed getting to meet her father soon hopefully.”

“Oh my dear brother…” she sighed with a smile, “Has she warned you properly?” Julie asked and he smiled.

“Oh yeah…she already told me that he’d probably hate me for the next decade… but ummm, whether he likes me or not, I don’t want to go behind his back, I want him to know that I’m going to propose to her.” He said and she smiled.

“Well, whether he admits it or not, he’d appreciate you letting him know. But please, for the love of god, don’t ask him for permission. That’s so sexist.” She said and he smiled.

“I think the only person I should be asking for permission to marry Y/N is Y/N.” He said and she nodded, “My gran gave me her ring.” He said and Julie pouted with endearment.

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’ve no idea how huge of a deal that is. After my grandad passed she said she wanted to be buried with it, didn’t want to part with it ever. But after seeing the way we are she wants me to propose with it.” He smiled.

“That’s so sweet of her. Do you know when you’re going to do it?”

“Not yet. She was talking about possibly going to see her parents for her birthday. So sometime after then.” He said, “Obviously, I may need your help sorting some details out.”

“Yeah, of course.” She smiled, “You know, I’m really happy things went so well with your family. That they were so welcoming and lovely her.”

“They really loved her.” He hummed fondly. “And well I think she’d thrive there, you should’ve seen her.” He smiled and Julie pouted with endearment.

“I can only imagine…I can’t wait until she tells me everything.” She said and Harry smiled.

“Well let me see if Y/N’s hungry, what’d you make?”

“Just butter pasta with fresh parm.”

“Well, I’ll definitely be back.” He said and she smiled as he hurried off. He was quiet as he made his way back into the bedroom and cozied back up beside Y/N as she stirred awake. “Where’d you go?” She asked softly and Harry smiled at her rapidly blinking eyes and slightly pouty lips. He leaned down and pecked her quickly, making her smile.

“To get some water. Want dinner? Julie made buttery, cheesy pasta.” He said and she nodded. “Want me to bring it?”

“I’ll get up. Let’s just stay here for a second.” She said before she yawned and he mimicked her yawn as she nuzzled her face into his neck. “Remember when you slept over that time after the halloween party?”

“Course I do.” He said lowly.

“You asked me to sleep with you because it was hard for you to fall asleep in new places.” She recalled, “That’s when I started to like you. It was cute and it made me worry about you from then on.” She confessed and he smiled before he kissed her cheek.

“I liked you after you forgave me but told me you didn’t want to be friends.” He said and she laughed softly.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know… I guess I just found it so attractive that you respected yourself enough not to cave just with an apology.”

“Well I’ve had a lot of chances to practice that…” she sighed and he smiled, “Also, I kind of wanted you to grovel a little…and you were about to weren’t you?”

“I definitely was about to.” He chuckled as he recalled the moment.

“And why didn’t you?” she asked and Harry smiled.

“I ummm…I wanted to show you that I could be different. I feel like I hadn’t needed to prove myself to anyone in a long while and ummm…I want to prove myself to you. And I guess it felt good to try and find myself again, even if it was just to get on your good side at first. But then I just…continued down that path for me.” He said softly before kissing her cheek again, “And look at us now…”

“Yeah, look at us.” She hummed happily.

*********

In the weeks that followed there was plenty of discussion about the future. Harry was starting to plan his proposal. He wanted it to be something intimate and clearly personal. He knew that Y/N wouldn’t really care about when or how he did it, but he still wanted to put some thought into it. Meanwhile, Y/N was thinking very seriously about her future with Harry and what she wanted life to look like with him, so she was at the doctor right now for her annual check up with one question on her mind.

“Everything is looking great! As always, if we find any irregularities in your bloodwork we’ll give you a call. Is there anything you have questions about?” Her doctor asked.

“Ummm, yeah actually. So as you know, I got the implant almost 2 years ago now. Umm…and I was wondering what needs to be done to take it out? Or like does it cause any delay in pregnancy?” She asked.

“Oh!” Dr. Ramirez smiled at her, “Are you having any issues with the implant or just planning for the future?” She asked.

“No issues, just planning ahead. My partner and I are starting to talk about the future and about the implications of that…and well, honestly, we keep talking about kids.” She said and Dr. Ramirez smiled, “I think we’re both very eager, so I just wanted to plan ahead if needed.” She explained.

“Yeah, understandably so! So really, we can remove it at any time, it’s the same way we got it in.” She shared and Y/N nodded, “And with it out you can pregnant at anytime so long as it’s the right time.” She explained, “You shouldn’t experience any issues or delays.” She assured her with a smile, “And I mean, if this is something you guys are wanting to get working on quickly we can also check on your reproductive health more closely if you want.” She reminded.

“Oh, perfect! Yeah, I think that would be good. Obviously, I think I need to discuss it with him before we proceed with any appointments or procedures, but it’s good to know.” She nodded and Dr. Ramirez smiled.

“Of course. Just call back if you need to schedule something. It was good to see you.” She smiled kindly before showing herself out. Y/N proceeded to get dressed and was soon heading off to Harry’s place. He had a huge chest/torso piece he had started today and had been at the shop working on this guy from 10am to about 4:30pm, so he had a short day because of that, and well, she’d had left her doctors appointments at 3 that day. But she’d been able to get her eye exam done and her full physical, she figured it was best to try and get everything done in one day if possible to avoid taking multiple days off. As soon as she found a parking spot down the street she grabbed her bag and headed over to his building door, thankfully someone was coming out and she had been able to make it in without having to call Harry. When she got down the hall she heard some muffled swanky music from outside of the door and she smiled before she knocked and second later Harry was opening the door with a big smile.

“Hello, my love!” He greeted her enthusiastically as he led her inside, “How were your appointments?” He asked as she slipped out of her shoes as he grabbed her bag.

“Pretty good actually.” She said and he pecked her lips quickly, “Good.” He hummed before he hurried off to the bedroom to put her bag down. He seemed to be in a really great mood for some reason. When he came back he went straight into the kitchen. He seemed really on task. “So what’s got you all…whatever is going on?”

“What do you mean?” He looked at her with some confusion.

“You just seem really diligent.” She giggled as she came into the kitchen.

“Oh! I bought these like “focus” gummies and they’re working really well. Too well I think. I feel like I’ve had caffeine injected into my blood stream.” He chuckled and she giggled along, “I got in around 5 and I did all my laundry, I changed the bed sheets, I cleaned the bathroom, and then had a shower. And now I’m making dinner!” He said cheerfully and she laughed at just how cracked out he seemed.

“You’ve had a busy day.”

“Definitely.” He chuckled.

Harry then started telling her about the tattoo he was doing on this guy and how he’d been trying to get in with him in England for years and just couldn’t seem to make it work. The man was littered in tattoos apparently and had left his chest and torso opened because he’d been wanting that to be saved for him. Then the man had lost his job and had to use his saved up money to hold him over. And he had been trying to save up again for it and had just recently made it all up. Harry wanted to do everything perfectly since the man was investing a couple thousand on this custom piece by Harry. Obviously, he knew the elements he wanted in it, but he wanted Harry to do his spin on it and to customize it to his own body. They’d been planning for weeks. This was one of those instances where Harry charged a price for his work on the design and then charged the tattooing sessions by the hour so that the guy could decide just how long he wanted to take - obviously there was a range that Harry would give the clients based on how little or how much it could be. But the man just really wanted it to be perfectly executed and thankfully his first session had gone really well. That was their dinner conversation as Harry just shared his vision in between bites.

“I can’t wait to see how it looks on him! Did you take a picture today?”

“Yeah, I’ll show you later. S’on my phone.” He assured, “And what about you? Anything exciting at the doctors?” He asked as he set their dishes in the sink.

“Ummm, not exciting, but there was something I did want to talk to you about.” She said and he hummed as he then went over to the “living room” area where she was now getting comfy on his couch and he made his way over and sat right beside her.

“OK, what about?” He asked her as he tugged at her pant leg to get her to drape her legs over his lap and she smiled as she rearranged herself so that his hand was running up and down her thigh as he looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

“So ummm…” she paused and glanced down at his hands for a second, she wasn’t sure why she was so nervous to talk to him about this when they talked about it constantly now, “Well, you know we’ve been planning for the future more actively now and one thing that kind of keeps coming up in the discussion seems to be about kids.” She said and he smiled and nodded, “And so I just asked about the implant that I have and when I can remove it and whatnot-”

“Oh? What did the doctor say?” He cut in and she shrugged.

“Just whenever, there shouldn’t be any issues where you have to wait ages to get pregnant or something. She said it can be pretty quick.” She shared and he smiled, “And ummm, well she also said that if we, well if I was interested in seeing how my reproductive health is we could make an appointment. Obviously, surface level everything is fine, we did that today. But I think she meant like internally and all. I don’t know why I feel so nervous about talking about this.” She giggled softly and he squeezed her thigh just a bit.

“Maybe because it kind of feels like it’s becoming more real? I have goosebumps, look!” He said showing her his arm and she chuckled.

“So what do you think?” She asked him a bit nervously.

“Well, what do you think?” He turned it around on her, “Like I just want to do whatever you’re happy with, babe.” He said and she bit her lip.

“Umm…I mean, I would definitely like to see how things are internally. Just to make sure there are no foreseeable issues, you know?” She said and he nodded, “And I mean, you’re more than welcome to come along! Like if you have questions or something…?” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, I’d love to if you want me to.” He assured and she nodded.

“And I mean…I know we’re still kind of planning ahead for everything else and all, but ummm, if you…wanted to just get started with kids I’m not…opposed to that?” She said and he was grinning even wider now.

“Are you sure?” He asked and she giggled nervously.

“Yeah, I am. Like…obviously, I think right now might not be ideal since we’re just starting to really get settled at work and well. But I mean, once we get engaged I don’t see why we can’t just…see what happens.” She shrugged nervously and he bit on his lip to tone down his smile.

“Baby…” he said and she hummed, “This is really great news.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah?” She asked and he nodded, “Good! I was a little nervous to bring that up.” She sighed and he smiled, “I just ummm…I don’t know, like things just feel really right with us. Especially after meeting your family. Like…I don’t know, but like I would want that for our baby or babies, you know? To like have them around and be in our lives as much as possible.” She explained.

“So are you saying we’d move to England?” He asked with a smirk and she bit her lip and shrugged.

“I uh…I think I am.” She said with a surprised chuckle, “Yeah.” She nodded after thinking about it for a second and he was just looking at her with the biggest smile on his face, “What?”

“Nothing, I just didn’t think I would feel this happy about us possibly moving over there.” He confessed and Y/N smiled, “Baby, we’re gonna be such great parents…” Harry said to her happily and she giggled.

“I think we would be too.” She agreed with a small giggle.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I just…hold you for a moment?” He asked and she smiled and nodded. She quickly straddled his lap and they just embraced each other for a moment. For a while Harry had been feeling like he’d never get to have these experiences in life because he himself had been so lost. He felt like he had gone down the wrong path, like he’d never meet someone who would love him and respect him enough to build a life with him. And as he looked back he saw just how unprepared he had been before, mentally and emotionally. But now he was more confident than ever that he was ready to build his future with Y/N. This person in his arms was his life partner, undoubtedly so. Everything about her was perfect for him, she made him want to be his best and he loved that about her. He was absolutely in love with her and if it weren’t for his promise to just talk to her parents about their relationship first he would’ve just asked her to marry him right now. “I love you. I love you so much.” He said softly and she smiled.

“I love you too, H. So, so much.” She responded.

“I think we need to just talk to your parents soon because…I don’t want to wait to ask you to marry me.” He said and she giggled.

“I mean…you can ask whenever you want…” she hummed. She was feeling rather impatient, “But umm… it’s a long weekend. Maybe we can take a drive up for Sunday and Monday?”

“Really?” He asked as he pulled back to look into her eyes and she nodded.

“Yeah. I mean…depending on how that goes I may or may not want them around for my birthday.” She giggled and he chuckled.

“True…then ummm, let’s plan for the weekend then.” He said and she hummed before leaning in to kiss his lips softly and slowly. She didn’t care what her dad said anymore, all that mattered was her happiness now.

********

Harry felt like he was going to throw up as they were about 15 minutes away from her parents house. They had just planned on lunch at their house and if things went well then they’d find a place to stay over night and if not, they’d just drive back to LA. Of course, they were both hoping that things would go well, but it wasn’t really up to them to set the tone of the day. He had even dressed up a little bit to give a better impression, but he still felt really nervous. Even more so when they parked along the side walk. Y/N’s childhood home was nice. It wasn’t huge, but it looked spacious. They had a nice garden up front and it looked inviting enough.

“Deep breaths, baby.” She said to him and he nodded and inhaled slowly.

“Right…right.” He said softly before turning to her. “I’m ready, lets just go.” He said and she nodded.

“Before we do that, I just need you to know that no matter how that goes, I love you. I want to build a life with you. And I choose you today and will continue to choose you for the rest of my life.” She said to him with a soft and reassuring smile and he returned her encouraging gesture, “Now we can go!” She said and they got out of the car. Harry had bought flowers and had even brought a good bottle of scotch for her dad. They only waited a few seconds after ringing the doorbell before her mom opened it up.

“Hey, you two!” She said happily and hugged Y/N and then Harry, “Your dad seemed really calm, so I think we’re looking good. He didn’t come out because he didn’t want to seem too eager.” She said quietly to them and they both nodded and smiled before looking at each other.

“These are for you.” Harry said.

“Oh, thank you. They’re lovely.” Marcia said to Harry as she hugged him quickly.

“I’m glad you liked them.” He said to her. She had been a bit more communicative with Y/N and well, Harry was around a lot so they’d greet each other and whatnot, but she was still quite guarded.

“And grandma?” Y/N asked.

“She ummm, she made other plans with her church group, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” She said to her and to Harry. Y/N just nodded but decided to not show her disappointment.

“It’s alright. You can just tell her Harry and I got her these.” She said with the other bouquet in her hand and Marcia nodded.

“Well, let’s head on to the patio. We set up a little seating area outside, like we’ve always wanted to.” She said as she guided them through, “You can leave the flowers and scotch here if you like.” She said as she patted on the kitchen counter, so they set the things down as she guided them to the back door, “We also redid the bathroom upstairs.” She said and then smiled at Y/N. “Oh, that’s nice! When did you do that?”

“About a month or two ago?” She said and then opened up the backdoor to lead them outside.

“Nice.” She hummed and then glanced outside, “Oh, it’s so cute, mom!” Y/N exclaimed with a smile.

“Really? You guys like it?” She asked of the little picnic style table that had been set up. She had these little cushions on the wooden bench and even a spot for an umbrella if they ever needed shade.

“Yeah, it’s lovely!” Harry agreed with a smile, “Even have a little garden going.” He noted as he walked around to see the flowers in long planters along the fence.

“Yeah, I needed a relaxing hobby.” Marica shared and he smiled as he nodded in understanding.

“Are you liking it so far?” He asked her and she shrugged.

“I mean the potting was fun!” She said and made them giggle, “One of my friends encouraged me to get rose bushes and she said she’d teach me about pruning. We’ll see how I fair there.” She said and they both chuckled, “Alright, I’m gonna go grab your dad.” She said to Y/N.

“Do you need help with bringing anything out?” Harry asked.

“Maybe just some glasses? I made some strawberry lemonade, the pitcher’s in the fridge.” She said and then glanced to Y/N.

“Yeah, we’ve got it.” She assured and so they followed her back inside and she headed off to get Daniel, Y/N’s father, while she and Harry just grabbed the glasses and lemonade before making their way out. They sat down, expecting them to come out right away, but it was about a minute or two before she turned to Harry with a nervous smile and he just grabbed her hand.

“S’alright.” He assured her and she rolled her lips together nervously.

“She’s so nervous. She’s talking to me about her renovations like I’m the neighbor or something…” she sighed, “Something’s not right.” Y/N said to him and he looked a bit concerned.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure…she hasn’t been this awkward on the phone or anything. Something is definitely up.” She concluded as she glanced around. Everything seemed so quiet and undisturbed…even when she had greeted them at the door, her mom had been quiet, almost as if she did not want to disturb anyone with the noise and then it dawned on her. “Baby, I don’t think my dad knew we were coming.” She said to him and he frowned.

“I think she just said yes without saying anything to him.” She explained with even more nerves. Suddenly the door to the backyard swung open and her dad came out with a slight frown as her mom trailed after him.

“Daniel, please don’t be upset, I asked them to come.” She said, but they both heard it as he stopped before them and Y/N could hardly speak as he eyed her over and then looked Harry over before glancing back to Y/N.

“Bringing another winner home to meet us.” He said with some snark and Y/N frowned.

“Dad, please don’t be like that.” Y/N pleaded softly and he shook his head.

“You know what I’m going to say to you about this. About him.” He said not even sparing a glance at Harry, almost as if he didn’t want to acknowledge his existence, “I don’t know why you think that showing up here means I’m going to change my mind. I won’t.” He said simply and she felt her eyes start to well up.

“Dad, just give us a chance.” She appealed earnestly and he sighed and shook his head.

“I don’t want anything to do with you while you’re off in LA wasting your life like Julie. When you have come into some reason we can talk, but I’m not doing this.” He said before he started to turn around and head back inside. Marcia stopped before him and spoke to him softly with tears running down her cheeks and Harry just sighed before deciding to speak up.

“Sir, I’m Harry, I’m sorry if we interrupted your day. We wanted to come because we just wanted to let you know that we’re planning to get married.” Harry said and this made Y/N’s dad freeze before he turned back around and he and Marcia both gave Harry their undivided attention.

“Well you don’t have my blessing.” He said simply and Harry sighed as Y/N grabbed his hand and he smiled softly at her before turning back to her parents.

“That’s alright, I didn’t expect it. But I will still ask Y/N to marry me, I just wanted you to be aware that it was happening.” Harry explained, “I can see that you’re not seeing eye to eye right now, but family is important. And well, whether you’re speaking or not, Y/N is your daughter and I’m sure you love her and I know she loves you regardless and I just wanted you to know that I love her too. Very much. We make each other happy and we want to make that commitment to each other. And well, it would mean the world to have your support. It truly would!” He smiled at them, “But if that’s not possible, alright then. We just wanted you to know what’s going on with us.” He finished with a nod and then he glanced to Y/N who was tense and squeezing Harry’s hand hard. She glanced into his eyes with her tearful eyes and he smiled at her and she relaxed a bit and smiled back softly, “Let’s go then.” He said to her and she held in her tears and disappointment and nodded.

“Yeah.” She said quietly and just grabbed her purse from the bench. “It really does look nice out here, mom.” She offered a final compliment as her mom’s tears fell quietly. Her dad didn’t even spare them a glance as they walked past him and she shook her head. “We’ll show ourselves out.” She said softly and pulled Harry back to the backdoor.

“Goodbye, Marcia and Daniel, it was lovely to see you.” Harry said before he and Y/N headed back inside as soon as they closed the door they could hear her parents starting to argue. Harry frowned as Y/N instantly broke down, he pulled her into his chest and held her close.

“I’ve got you, love. I’ve got you.” He assured as she sobbed. Because of the way they were standing she was facing the fridge and as she cried and just absentmindedly looked in that direction she noticed something. She moved out of Harry’s hold and made her way around the counter and she frowned as she grabbed the item that had captured her attention from the fridge with shaky hands as another sob broke from her body, “Baby, what is it?” Harry asked immediately as he hurried over and she turned around and showed him the paper. He didn’t expect to see a program insert of who he assumed was her grandmother with a “In loving memory” message at the bottom.

“They never said anything to me.” She whispered with so much shock and hurt.

“Oh my god…I’m so sorry.” Harry said quietly as she walked back into his arms for a few moments.

“Get me out of here. I just want you to take me home.” She whimpered and he nodded.

“OK, baby.” Harry agreed before guiding her back to the front door and to their car, the photo still clutched in her hand.

“Julie’s gonna be so hurt and furious…should I call her now or wait until we get home?” Y/N cried as she and Harry got buckled in.

“Baby, I love Julie, but you just need to worry about you right now. You just found out too.” He said and she exhaled shakily and nodded. As she let that sink in she started to cry harder.

“Baby, just drive. Go somewhere else, I can’t be here.” She sobbed and he nodded and started her car and took off. He made a few random turns and got them to a library parking lot. As soon as he parked he reached for her hand and she took it and squeezed as she inhaled shakily.

She was so angry. She wanted to scream out of frustration and hurt. How could they not have even bothered to give them a call…that was the most absurd thing! That was Julie’s mother…they didn’t think she’d want to know? Even if they were estranged! She was quite literally shocked at this discovery. She wasn’t even sure what to feel. She got out of the car and just breathed deep and paced a few times. Harry walked out as well and he rounded the car.

“Baby, is there anything I can do?” He asked her and she shook her head.

“I just…I just need a minute.” She choked on her tears and he nodded and decided to just go back over to sit in her car. He knew what it was like to get news like this…he hated it when people would tell him that it was alright or that he’d be OK. Yeah, he knew he would be eventually, but he didn’t need to hear that in the moment. He just needed to process and make his mind up about what he felt then. And as much as he wanted to hold her and comfort her, if she needed some space, she needed space. He knew that she’d come to him if she needed him. She proceeded to just walk up to the library and then back to the car several times as Harry just kept a close eye on her.

Harry tried not to judge, but he didn’t understand how anyone could treat their own family this way. He was angry at her parents, even at her grandmother, for shutting her out this way. He’d understand if she was a criminal or was doing horrific things, but she was just expressing herself! He couldn’t see why this was so awful to them that they refused to talk to her. What about the way that they lived and treated people made them better than her, or him, or Julie? If anything, in his eyes they were the awful people, not her or him. From what he could see they were obstinate, self-righteous, and too proud. There was no way that a rational human being couldn’t see or be aware that something had gone too far. And this feud they created with Y/N, their daughter, it had gone too fucking far. It made Harry want to yell at them and berate them for hurting her like that. For shutting her out and denying her of something every person deserves, love, from their own family.

His family wouldn’t ever dream of doing something like this to him or even to her! He was so mad, so fucking mad and he wanted to help make things right, but clearly her family wasn’t interested in that. He felt bad for Marcia, because she had been trying as of late, but she lied too. She kept something so big from Y/N and that was so wrong. Maybe, her grandmother didn’t care to see her or Julie, but they could’ve at least said something about the funeral. If her grandmother was dead she wouldn’t know that they had shown up to say goodbye or pay their respects. This was a level of fucked up that he couldn’t even understand to some extent. He sat there thinking and waiting on Y/N for nearly 20 minutes before she came back and just sat down in the passenger seat and she just let out a long, slow sigh before turning to him and clearing her throat.

“Let’s go home.” She said and he nodded.

“Do you want to stop for water or a snack?” He asked as he started to peel away towards the highway.

“Yeah, but when we’re out of the town.”

“OK.” He said and reached for her hand and she slotted their fingers together as he took off. She was quiet for about 15 minutes, just staring at the road straight ahead.

“Am I being crazy for never wanting anything to do with them again?” She asked him softly and he glanced to her briefly.

“At this moment, no. But that’s a big thing, love. And of course, this is your family and your experience, so however you want to move forward, I’m here for you. I have your back.” He clarified, “But just give it some more thought when you’re not as angry at them.” He suggested and she sighed.

“I’m always angry at them, H. Like how could anyone even think that doing this to someone is OK?!” She raised her voice and he shook his head.

“I don’t know, love. I’ve been thinking about it and trying to understand it myself and I just…I can’t.” He said simply.

“And the way my dad was behaving?! Such a fucking child!” She shook her head in disappointment. “You must hate them…”

“I don’t hate them. Like, I don’t know them, how could I? I’m sure there are really great parts of them too, but I just…I think you deserve better.” He said softly and she nodded.

“I do.” She agreed, “My family used to be like yours.” She shared, “We were all so tight knit and playful and fun…I don’t know what changed…” she said and he nodded as he listened. “Like, I’ve always been the same person! Always! I just wish I could shake them awake! They’re missing everything!” She said to him, “They’d rather miss my entire life than to just put their pride aside and wish me well. I can’t…accept that.” She confessed, “And I feel stupid for it, you know? Time and time again they have proven to me that they don’t care to understand me or love me despite our disagreements. Like I try to understand where they’re coming from or to be respectful of their nonsensical views and opinions, I keep my mouth shut! I just tough it out when they all gang up on me or talk shit about Julie…I shouldn’t have expected that they’d have a change of heart.” She shook her head, “I’m sorry for doing this to you, baby. I should’ve known better…or just…stuck up for you or at least said something-”

“Baby, I really wanted to do this. You warned me. Julie warned me…I think it was worth a shot. If anything I’m sorry for…insisting. Like…I just hoped that he’d at least be happy for you or feel grateful that you wanted him to know about what’s going on with you. If I had known that they were…” he trailed off, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m glad we came because they never would’ve said anything about my grandma…” she said lowly and Harry sighed.

“How do you think Julie will take it?” Harry asked and Y/N sighed.

“I don’t know…I don’t think she’ll be too broken up about it. My grandma hasn’t spoken to her in years…how fucked up is that? Her own daughter!”

“I know…” he sighed sadly.

“Baby, when we have kids please promise me that you’ll never bring up the topic of them meeting my family.” She said and he glanced to her quickly before back to the road, “Like, if that were to happen I would want to come to that conclusion myself. I just…don’t want them around people like that. People who lie and neglect…who might treat them badly because of us.” She said and he nodded.

“I promise, my love. I promise.” He said to her. He knew he didn’t have kids with her yet, but just the idea of their hypothetical kids having an unpleasant experience with her family made him feel so angry and protective.

Y/N ended up falling asleep for about half the drive. She started getting nervous as they got closer and closer to home because she had no idea how she would even tell Julie what happened. She knew that Julie would know it was bad when they’d show up on the same day they left, so there was at least that. Y/N was basically trembling as she tried to key the door open.

“Here, my love, I’ve got it.” Harry assured her as he grabbed the keys from her and she thanked him quietly as he got the door open. As soon as they got inside they heard the TV on.

“Y/N, Harry?” She called out in question.

“Yeah, s’us!” Harry responded as he got his shoes off and Y/N as well. She soon appeared by the doorway with a small frown.

“I uh, I made some cinnamon rolls just in case. Your favorite.” She said to Y/N who was sniffling again as her tears started to fall, “Oh, come here, sweetie.” She said opening up her arms and Y/N hurried into them and she hugged her tight, “It’s alright. You’re home now, s’all that matters.” She assured softly and Y/N started to sob.

“It’s not that.” She whimpered as she pulled back and Julie frowned.

“Is something wrong?” She asked and Y/N inhaled sharply.

“Grandma died.” She said softly and Julie shook her head as if she was trying to make sure that this was real.

“Wait what?!” She asked with a frown.

“Yeah, I ummm, I saw this on the fridge.” She said as she reached into the hoodie she was now wearing and handed the picture that had been on the fridge to her. Julie’s eyes did tear up and she pouted sadly as her finger ran over the image of her mother a few times. The funeral had been 2 weeks ago.

“You know, for the last month or so I’ve just…I’ve had a nagging feeling about her.” She said to Y/N and Harry with a sniffle, “I tried calling her a few times and it would just ring out and ring out…like I know she doesn’t want to speak to me, but I’d still leave her messages, you know? And your mom even texted me once to tell me that she would listen to them…and well, she’d apparently proceed to talk shit according Marcia,” she chuckled a bit through her tears, “But she would still listen.” She shared, “And I called again last week and your dad answered and told me to stop calling her. I knew something was wrong then.” She sighed.

“Are you OK?” Y/N asked and Julie nodded.

“Yeah. I tried, you know? And what else could I have done? I told her I loved her and that I missed her and that I wasn’t angry at her or had any bad feelings towards her every time I left a message. So she knew I was OK with her and well, that’s all I could do, you know?” She said, “I mean, I’m shocked that they didn’t even say anything though…that’s just absurd…” she sighed sadly.

“I know, they couldn’t even tell us about the funeral?” She said and Julie shook her head.

“Well, not much we can do now.” She sighed in disappointment. “Was it OK apart from that?” She asked her and Harry.

“Ummm, turns out my dad didn’t even know we were coming. My mom was just trying to get my dad to be a little more openminded I guess. He barely even looked at me and just said the same shit he always does.” Y/N shook her head.

“I did tell him though that we were getting married. He didn’t say anything, but he knows now.” Harry added and Julie nodded.

“Yeah, what he does with that information is up to him…” Julie concluded and Harry and Y/N nodded.

“Are you sure you’re OK?” Harry asked again and Julie sighed.

“I think so. I mean, I’m still a bit shocked, but it doesn’t feel like I thought it would, I guess…” she explained. “Let’s go eat the cinnamon rolls, yeah?” She asked and they agreed and went over to the kitchen. Y/N and Harry stayed standing because they’d been sitting for about 8 hours total today. “Look, my mom and I have always had a complicated relationship. I’m her only girl and have never really been the kind of daughter she wanted. Even as a kid, she was a bit more hard on me than my brothers. She always expected more from me and just didn’t seem to understand that I was constantly around boys so I wasn’t all the feminine as a kid. When I got into high school obviously, I started maturing a little more and like my brothers’ friends started to like me and other boys as well, but that jus made girls not like me, you know? Because in my mind I was just “one of the guys” as they say. Because sure, they’d flirt with me, but it was mostly teasing me and giving me a hard time. Girls started saying that I was just going around with the guys in the grade above me and being from a small town word got around and that just made her more angry at me. You know, she was all churchy and shit…she was embarrassed of me and those rumors…” she explained to Y/N and Harry as they all ate, “But then my senior year I got mixed up with one of your uncle’s college friends and he got me pregnant. I was 17, he was 18, so it wasn’t anything super bad or teetering on illegal so to speak…but I had a miscarriage. I had no idea I was even pregnant!” She shared, “Well until all that happened. And ummm, after that things just became what they were between us and they never got better. I was 20 when I moved transferred to school here. My boyfriend at the time went to USC.” She explained, “And ummm, yeah I just never went back. I was a lot more chaotic then, I wanted to kind of stick it to her and my dad.” She said with a slight chuckle, “Kind of fucked myself in that process, but ummm, I was a stupid kid. I had no idea what I was doing. I was careless and felt like I didn’t need to make things right with them. And like, not for forgiveness sake, but just so that we could at least be civil, you know?”

“Yeah.” Y/N nodded in understanding.

“I did try when I was older, but she gave me the cold shoulder as did your dad and your uncle Rob, so I just…stayed here.” She shrugged.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not! I mean granted, I could’ve handled things better, but I was young and inexperienced, how else would I be expected to act? She wasn’t a child though, she was my mother, a grown ass woman and she was acting worse than I was. They’re all so emotionally immature.” She said, “And as time went on and I tried to make amends with them they just didn’t care about my efforts. Even when I was sick and dying they never called! They never checked in… and I just…accepted the fact that I’d never get to say a proper goodbye to them. Like you know how bad things got.” She glanced to Y/N who nodded, “So I’ve been ready to just not get any form of closure, but not because she died first, you know?”

“Yeah.” Y/N sighed sadly.

“I know that you had a very different experience with her growing up. I mean, Dan was always her favorite.” Julie smiled, “He was her baby, he could do no wrong, so I know you were special to her and I can’t believe that she despite everything happening with you she wouldn’t have at least wanted to say goodbye. With you I think she felt like she was getting a do-over. She was so involved and spoiled you rotten!”

“Yeah, she did.” Y/N smiled through her tears and Harry rubbed her back soothingly.

“She was always so proud though, she never would’ve said that she was wrong about how she handled things when you came to live with me. But she did love you. You have to know that.”

“I do.” Y/N sniffled and Julie smiled as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“Good. That’s all that matters.” She hummed with a small smile.

*******

The next few days were quite sad and slow for Y/N more than Julie. It was good that Julie had felt like she’d made her peace with her mother even before her passing. But Harry wasn’t sure what he could even do to help Y/N get through this. He knew it wasn’t just grief, it was betrayal and disappointment. It was her wrestling with the idea of what she’d said in the car, that she maybe wanted nothing to do with her parents again.

Harry was quiet as he made his way down the hall and to her room in case she was asleep. She’s been resting a lot, just sitting with her thoughts really. He knocked twice before he opened the door slowly and peeked inside.

“Hey, my love.” He smiled as he saw her rolled over to face the door.

“Hey.” She said quietly as he came inside and leaned back on the door to shut it. Then he went over and sat on the edge of her bed.

“How are you feeling today?” He asked her as he took her hand and gently played with her fingers.

“I’m alright.” She said quietly as she sat up against her headboard and he smiled.

“OK. How can I make you go from alright to good?” He asked her and she smiled a bit wider at his question.

“Well, ice cream for starters.” She said and he chuckled.

“OK, ice cream. I’ll definitely go grab some.” He assured, “Anything else?”

“Maybe a kiss.” She said and he smiled.

“I can definitely do that.” He said as he leaned in and kissed her lips gently before pulling back and pecking the tip of her nose and she smiled at him.

“Thank you.” She hummed happily, “So I’ve been thinking…” she started and he nodded, to let her know he was listening. “I think I just…need to distance myself from my parents. I talked to my mom this morning and she just…she didn’t understand why I was so upset at what she’d hidden from me and Julie. And obviously, my dad told her not to tell us, but still, she didn’t have to! She’s just so…stuck under him, you know? She doesn’t see how that’s hurtful. Like she almost can’t do anything without his approval, which is crazy because my dad isn’t crazy like that. I think that she’s just afraid to lose him too.” She sighed and Harry nodded in understanding, “But ummm…I don’t trust them. I don’t feel like they care about our relationship as a family. And I’m tired of feeling like…like it’s all my fault when it’s not.” She explained with some sadness, but her tone and facial expression reflected definitiveness.

“Yeah, it’s not.” He assured her.

“Fuck…s’just Julie and me now, I guess.” She sniffled sadly and Harry shook his head as he stood and reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring box he’d brought to show Julie, but he sat back on the bed and flicked open the little box and she looked into his eyes, “Baby, that’s your-”

“My gran’s.” He said with a soft smile and she sniffled, “I planned on doing this in the most romantic way, I swear, but…I just want you to know that it’s not just you and Julie. It’s me and my family too if you want that. I love you with my whole heart and I promise you that if you say yes I will make sure that I spend the rest of my life making sure you feel so loved and happy, as much as I can. And not just me, you’ll have a whole group of people in your new family who love you and accept you and who see just how incredibly wonderful and special you are.” He said to her and she just knelt up and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Of course it’s a yes.” She sniffled and he chuckled.

“I haven’t even asked yet!” He said and she giggled and pulled back to look in his eyes and she nodded, “Right!” He smiled, “Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked her with the biggest smile on his face and she nodded quickly.

“Yes. Yes. Yes! A million times yes.” She answered as she leaned in and their lips met as best as they could despite their smiles. “I love you. I love you so much.” She whispered happily and he smiled.

“I love you.” He responded. “Let’s get this on you.” He said of the ring and she smiled and nodded.

“Right!” She giggled and extended her left hand out to him and he slipped it onto her ring finger, it was actually a perfect fit. “Oh wow! S’perfect.” She said and he grinned as he looked into her eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” She nodded and he brought his hand up and kissed the back of it, “I complimented the ring when your gran had it on, I didn’t peer pressure her into handing it over, did I?” She asked with slight concern and he shook his head.

“No. I didn’t even ask her for it. She just saw how we were with each other and she insisted I propose with it.” He chuckled as his eyes welled up a bit as it hit him that they were engaged, “We’re gonna get married.” He said and she nodded as she sniffled.

“Yeah, my love. We’re getting married.” She smiled as she nuzzled her nose against his. She felt relief, this was a new beginning for them. It was just the start of their new life together.

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