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#taylor swift imagine
folkloreintime · 6 months
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beg you on my knees to stay
Taylor Swift x fem!reader smut
warnings: smut, oral(r!receiving), fingering(r!receiving), scissoring, fem!reader
word count: 1.8k
summary: Taylor teases you before she goes on stage and finishes the job after.
A/N: happy kinktober lol
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There was a flurry of people around you, but they paid you no mind as makeup artists hustled to fix a patch on Taylor’s face and stylists walked around her checking every inch of her costumes. You had watched this from afar many times, Taylor having been on tour for 3 months now but it never got old. It was like seeing her in her true element, the dedication and passion the whole team exuded was truly a marvel.
You caught Taylor’s eye and she winked at you, her blonde eyebrows raised as somebody applied her classic red lipstick onto her stunning mouth. You shyly smiled back and rested your hand on your chin and studied her.
Her hair was pin straight and had a deep golden, it cascaded down her shoulders like ripples of silk. The bejeweled body suit she wore had flecks of blue and pink jewels that shimmered when they caught the light, they cinched her waist and made her figure look like that of a model, curved and voluptuous. Her thighs were adorned with a pair of waxy tights that made her legs look shiny and long. She was absolutely perfect.
During your examinations you hadn’t realised that the room had cleared out and it was now just you and Taylor, alone. “Hey,” her blue eyes were pointedly fixed on you, “What are you thinking about?” She tipped her head playfully and curled her red lips. You looked down in embarrassment that she had caught u staring at her but how could you not?
“You look great, as always. But today? you look, so gorgeous.” You swallowed as your breath hitched waiting for her to answer. To say something, anything. You would have hanged on to every word. Instead she just stayed silent, striding towards you in a slow manner.
She sat down next to you her legs crossed at her ankles and turned to you. She kissed you, her lips moved over yours in a pout and you inched impossibly closer just trying to grasp at anything she could give you. Her hand moved to your jaw, digging her thumb into it, the pressure made you open your mouth and a small breath tumbled out.
Slowly, you shifted your hands to her waist, feeling the sharp jewels under your fingertips frustrated you. You huffed and she pulled back, but only for a moment until she started to caress just below your breast. “Please, Taylor.” You moaned and threw your head back allowing her more access to your skin as she nipped and bit at your neck leaving subtle red marks dotted around the taut skin.
One of hand trailed the length of your stomach, sliding closer and closer to your center while she kept the other firmly planted on your tits, pushing and caressing it with the palm of her hand. She hummed against your skin and undid the button of your jeans. Effortlessly, Taylor slid her hand between your legs to find your wetness waiting for her. You gasped as she lazily circled your clit, the pressure was so light you could barely tolerate it but she torturously kept the pace.
You were in bliss, feeling her lips on your shoulder, peppering kisses, her hands trailing your body and the desperation of her blazing skin touching yours. She began to speed up her machinations, intermittently pressing hard on your clit, smearing the wetness around with her fingers and in return you gave her mewls and groans of pleasure which fuelled her.
Suddenly, your broken out of your pleasurable stupor and you here a muffled voice, “They are ready for you in 5, Taylor.” It was the stage manager in her earpiece. Just as quick as she had came on to you she was off of you, leaving a distinct coldness and you felt like you could collapse into a puddle of sand as she left you high and dry. You watched her through bleak eyes as she fixed her lipstick in the mirror as if she hadn’t been maliciously teasing your orgasm out of you 2 seconds ago.
She left with a wink and the scent of her perfume still lingered as well as the feel of her on you when she left the room. You felt a twinge of disappointment as you turned your back to the live monitor of the stage in the room. The show was starting and you knew it would be a long time coming before you and Taylor could finish what you started so you decided to get comfortable.
Watching Taylor perform was akin to watching a pianist perform their most beloved piece or a ballerina perform the most intricate of dances, she was passionate and a master of her craft. Like a moth to a flame she drew everyone in with her tantalising stage presence. The way she flexed her body and moved her hips during the dances was enchanting and her singing was saccharine and powerful.
You watched the whole show with a front row seat and full privacy which was appreciated but also incredibly difficult because all you wanted to do was drop on your knees for her and make her sing in a completely different way to what the people were seeing on stage.
You watched with brimming anticipation as the end of the show drew closer, you thought you could faint when you saw the ‘Vigilante Shit’ performance but you just bit your lip and waited patiently. Finally, Taylor did her closing number just as enthusiastically as her first number and exited the stage for the last time tonight.
The whole room was silent as the screen faded to black and you sat with excitement. Slowly, the door handle turned. Taylor stepped into the room, her hair was mussed from the air and her eyes glimmered from the adrenaline of the stage. She scanned the room and locked eyes with you, once again making her way over to you.
She pulled your face to her with an increasing ferocity and in between kisses she said, “I need you so bad.” She began to move you slightly backwards with her sheer height and stance alone and soon your back was on the couch and she hovered over you, thighs trapping yours. “I want you, Taylor.” You breathed out, hands finding hers and locking them together.
She moaned and lifted up your shirt, exposing the soft expanse of your stomach. She laid kisses down, until she reached your jeans and undid them pushing them haphazardly to the floor. Leaning forward, she pressed a soft kiss to your pussy through your underwear and you felt a wave of wetness overcome you. You threw your head back as she shoved your underwear to the floor.
Immediately, she licked a stripe up your pussy and the sensation sent shocks up your spine. She did not relent as Taylor sucked and pivoted her tongue around your clit, her nose pressing into your pubic bone. She slurped the wetness and pressed both her hands to either side of your knees, forcing you to keep your legs wide open. She breathed harder and began to flick her tongue against your clit and occasionally thrusting it into your tight hole.
You put your hands on her head, fingers tangling in her blonde locks as you propelled her head to move back and forth, essentially using her face to grind on. Her jaw moved expertly over your pussy and she leaned back and spat on it for good measure, instantly resuming her attempts. You felt a tugging sensation in your gut as you were so close to your climax and she coaxed you to the edge smacking and salivating all over you.
A burst of pleasure ran through you like a million little stars on fire throughout your soul, the grip on her hair tightened as she continued driving you through your orgasm, never relenting with the same enthusiasm. You keened and moaned out her name as breathe out raggedly. To your surprise, she looked up at you, chin dripping with your own wetness and spit and whispered, “Turn around and get on your knees.”
You looked at her in bewilderment, still a little shaky from your last orgasm but did exactly what she said. You planted your hands in front of you and knelt on the couch, facing away from Taylor. Suddenly, a forceful smack rang out in the room and your flesh stung. A red mark on your ass cheek appeared and before you could even gasp Taylor thrust her middle finger into your core.
You groaned from the mix of pain and pleasure and she started to move the finger in and out. She rubbed and soothed the hurt flesh with her hand until another resounding slap made its way to you. You grunted and she put another finger in. Your stomach was tensing and you could feel the wetness coating your thighs. Languidly, her fingers moved in and out of you at a fast pace and she would give you small encouragements when she felt like it.
“Doing so good for me, baby. Can you cum for me?” Her voice was raspy with indulgence. Your honoured her commitment as your orgasm came faster this time, tipping you over the edge as your thighs shook and tightened around her and your moans intensified ringing out in the otherwise silent room. Breathing hard, you turned to face her and she cupped your jaw, “Did so well for me, dear.” Her blue eyes bore into yours as she began to strip from her costume.
“Can you give me one more? Just want one more from you, my beautiful girl.” Her thumb lightly caressed your cheek as you let out a sob still raw from your last two orgasms. “I’m gonna help you this time, okay?” She laid you down, her voice was sweet and soft. Taylor repositioned herself so she was now hovering over you, her pussy was just above your thigh and yours was anchored just so she would get the right amount of friction.
You made the first move and ground your thigh into her with the little strength you had. She sucked in a breath and put a hand on your stomach, “No, baby, let me.” You could have sobbed in relief when she started moving her own body back and forth, the pressure of her hot skin on your clit was achingly delicious. Her bangs covered her face as she looked down to see both of you so intimately connected.
Her pace quickly emerged and the room was mixed with echoes of your moans and each others names scrambled in between. Her hips reached an insane rhythm as her orgasm approached and she let out a striking moan, shutting her eyes in unfathomable pleasure. You came with her, unable to comprehend anything but her and the slurry of pleasure flitting sparks down your every nerve. She faltered and expertly moved to sit beside you in a heap of skin and bones.
After a few minutes of respite she moved your hair from your face and cradled you in her arms. You sank into her and could have stayed there forever.
end.
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13uswntimagines · 2 months
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13 Eras of Us Era 2: It’s The First Kiss, It’s Flawless, Really Something, It’s Fearless (Taylor Swift X Morgan!Reader)
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13 Eras of us Era 1
This is the Era where R and Taylor finally get together. There is a little spice (very clearly marked). R and Alex start to work on their issues, and we learn a little bit more about R's past... situationships. The team learns about "burrito girl" and Kelley saves the day and keeps things on track.
August 2016
And isn’t it just so pretty to think 
All along there was some invisible string
While August was turning out slightly better than July, it was still weird. 
It was weird being at camp when you weren’t on the roster. Weird being around the people you called friends when most of them weren’t talking to you. 
But what made matters worse was that you had been called in hours before camp started. You had blindly thrown random clothing into a suitcase, rushing to not miss the flight Christen, Alyssa, and JJ were on, all while calling your teammates to find one willing to watch your dogs on such late notice. 
Part of you even considered calling Tony, the bodyguard who had strangely stayed in town despite Taylor’s departure, hoping that maybe he could at least check on them until you could guilt one of your teammates into taking them. 
The older couple that lived next to you would let him in, you knew. 
You had given Mr. And Mrs. Rossi keys two days after you had moved in when they brought over a pan of ravioli and introduced themselves. 
You were just lucky that Niki Stanton had answered you just before you boarded the plane with a yes, so you hadn’t had to ask. 
You didn’t want to bug Taylor more than you had to. You didn’t want to assume that Tony would want to help you. 
You sighed, tugging the special 3rd knot on your cleats to make sure it was tight. 
It wasn’t like you would actually be training with the team. You would be there to partner for drills. To make sure that everyone else was prepared to face Ireland. 
The only problem was that it seemed like no one wanted you to partner with them.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. 
Rose and Emily had sent you regretful smiles as Jill directed you to pair with one of the forwards for a passing drill. Alex had already been claimed by Lindsey and Tobin and Christen had chosen each other. 
It left you on the bench, trying to pretend like it didn’t hurt that the rest of the team had lost so much faith in your abilities that they wouldn’t even look in your direction. 
You blew out another breach, checking your left cleat again. 
“Can I partner with you?” Mal asked sheepishly, blocking the beating sun from your face. 
You squinted up at her, your lips twitched into a ghost of a smile. “Don’t know if you wanna risk my bad luck rubbing off on you,”
“You don’t have bad luck,” She said, her lips also lifting. “But I will take some of your magic if you’re offering,” 
“You never could get enough,” You wiggled your eyebrows. 
“You’re too much,” Mal chuckled, shaking her head. 
There was a glint in her eyes, one that reminded you of long summers at U15 camp flirting over ice cream cones, and talking about what the future held. It reminded you of an easier time before you had been crushed by expectations. Before there were any expectations. 
You weren’t sure if the feelings you had harbored were real, or just a figment created by excitement and feeling free for the first time. What you did know was that while your feelings had long since mellowed into platonic, the comfort her friendship brought you was still as strong as it ever had been. 
If you couldn’t be on the pitch, you would make damn sure she had the debut of her lifetime. 
She deserved that, and hopefully, you would prove yourself to the coaching staff and be allowed to rejoin the team. 
She grabbed your arm, and dragged you to your feet.“Come on, I don’t want to be late for my first practice,” 
You made a low noise of agreement, trudging after her. 
“Don’t look so glum,” Tobin said, nudging your arm as you stepped into line beside her, across from Mal. “It doesn’t suit your sunny personality,” 
You pulled a face at her, catching the ball with your right cleat as Mal sent it your way, and you tapped it to your left foot and sent it back. “I think a majority of my energy has been sapped by all of my friends hating me,” 
“They don’t,” Christen said simply, flicking her own ball back towards Tobin. 
“We could never hate you,” Alex chimed in, catching a pass from Lindsey. 
“Cause I’m really feeling the love,” You grumbled back, staring at the ball instead of meeting your sister's eyes. 
You could feel their gazes glued to you, and you could imagine the looks on their faces. 
You didn’t need to see it. 
“Alright ladies,” Jill clapped her hands, drawing the group's attention. “Let’s start with passing drills. Midfielders will pass to their forwards, and forwards will attempt to score while the defenders will try to stop you,” 
She gestured towards the line of waiting defenders on one side of the goalpost, and the 3 keepers waiting by the other. “If you score, you get to keep the point. If you don’t, the defense keeps it. The side with the most points at the end will get to skip 2 laps on the conditioning run at the end of practice,” 
Your eyebrows furrowed. 
Jill didn’t usually run drills like this. This was something reminiscent of one of Roary’s drills. 
She couldn’t have been talking to him, but if she was... If she listened to his opinion, then maybe what he said was true. 
Maybe he really did have the power to make or break you. 
It sent an unpleasant shiver down your spine. 
You didn’t want to think about the… thank you you might owe him. Or how his suggestion of extra sessions might actually help. 
“Likewise, the keepers will also try to stop you so select the best shot, not just the easiest,” Jill continued, and you blinked back to yourself. “Questions?”
You shook your head along with the group. 
It didn’t matter who had come up with it. All that mattered was that you showed Jill that you belonged on the roster. That you made her regret not including you. 
“Ready to put on a show?” Mal bumped you as Lindsey and Alex started the drill. 
Alex easily outpaced Becky to get into position, but Lindsey had a harder time faking out Kelley, taking an extra second to make the defender step before she sent a perfect through ball into Alex’s path. 
“Always,” You breathed out as the ball left Alex’s foot, sailing through the air before pinging off of the crossbar. She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, and you dragged your eyes away to look at Mal. “Don't miss,” 
A devilish grin took over Mal’s features. “Don’t worry Ducky, I can’t miss with your magic,” 
She winked at you, and you rolled your eyes. 
You hated that nickname. Not as much as others you had been given. Not enough to ask Mal to get rid of it, not when she liked it so much. 
You stepped up to the ball and focused on Emily across from you as Mal did the same with Abby. 
Nicknames could wait until after you had shown them all why you belonged. 
OoOoOoO
You let out a long breath, standing over the ball as you stared at goal. 
You could hear your teammates behind you, chatting as they packed up their gear, but you did your best to tune them out. 
It didn’t matter to you that practice had ended nearly 15 minutes ago. All that you cared about was scoring from the spot. All you cared about was making sure you never missed another penalty again.
You took three steps back, your eyes flickering to the ball and then back towards goal. The back netting fluttered gently in the wind, like waving hands in the stands. 
You blew out one more breath and leaned into your run, counting down in your head. 
Your eyes never left the net as you took your three-step run up and blasted the ball toward the top right corner. 
It hit the net with a satisfying woosh, sending ripples through the material and rattling the woodwork. 
“Not bad,” 
You blinked at the approaching voice, turning to face the new number-one keeper of the USWNT. 
“Oh, thanks,” You nodded, blushing slightly and running a hand through your hair. You headed towards the goal to collect your ball and shoot again. 
You didn’t really interact with Alyssa, even in Chicago. Her quiet confidence always intimidated you. 
“Mind if I stand in goal for you?” She asked, trailing after you. “I wanna get some reps in,”
You paused, blinking at her. “You don’t have to do that for me,” 
She sent you a small smile. “I know. I want to,” 
You swallowed, flicking the ball up to your hands and tossing it towards her. “If you really want to,” 
“I do,” Alyssa caught it easily, looking at you for a long second. “When you send balls to the top right corner, you tilt your hips to the left in your run-up. It gives you away,” 
Your eyebrows furrowed. You didn’t know you were doing that. 
“Try to stay square,” She continued. “It’ll make it harder to read you,” 
You hummed, biting the inside of your lip as you stepped back towards the spot. 
She rolled the ball towards you, and you carefully positioned it where you wanted it, and took three big steps back. 
You twisted your hips, trying to remember to keep them square as you did your run-up. 
Your eyes fell to the ball, and you let out a long breath, doing the countdown on your head as you dragged your gaze to meet Alyssa’s in goal. 
You leaned onto your toes, doing your run-up and forcing your hips to remain parallel. 
Now that you were in step, you could feel what Alyssa was talking back in the way you wanted to pull to your left for the windup. 
Your foot contacted the ball, and you watched as it flew much more slowly towards Alyssa’s outstretched fingertips. It brushed past her, landing in the net with a much less satisfying swish. 
“I just feel like I don’t have as much power,” You said, watching as Alyssa got back to her feet and fished the ball out of the back of the net. 
“I save goals, I don’t make them,” Alyssa shrugged, rolling the ball back in your direction. “You could ask maybe Pino or your sister,”
Your nose scrunched at the options. 
You would rather gargle thumbtacks than do either considering Pino was still pretending that you didn’t exist and Alex was… too much. 
She was trying too hard, pushing too much and it made you suspicious. Why did she care now when she hadn’t before? When she had been ignoring you since the ball left your foot in Rio? 
When the two of you had been at odds since she left for Berkeley?
“It was just a suggestion,” Alyssa said quickly as you tapped the ball back towards the spot. 
“I know,” You mumbled, repositioning the ball with your hands. “I’ll probably ask Mal later. She’s always been better at PKs anyway,” 
Alyssa hummed in agreement. She didn’t know you well enough to argue, and you seemed pretty close with the new striker. You had perked up considerably after partnering with her during practice, and the two of you had been unstoppable in the new set of drills Jill wanted to try(even if Jill made you sit the scrimmage out). 
She hoped that helping you with your PKs would only add to the good mood you had been riding. She hoped it would help to alleviate the dark cloud that had been following you since the Olympics. 
You were young and under more pressure than anyone your age should ever be placed under. As the captain of your club team, she felt it was her duty to actually do something about it. If that meant standing for a million of your PKs until you felt comfortable, then that’s exactly what she would do. 
You lined up behind the ball, squinting at it. She noticed how you tilted your hips back and forth trying to figure out the mechanics of your kick. 
It amazed her how easily you could adjust, and how smooth you made it look. 
If you could get rid of your little tells, you would be deadly in front of the net. Just as deadly as you were during normal play. 
She watched as you leaned forward on your toes, your feet shuffling as you prepared to kick. 
“Hey you two, we’re going to leave soon,” Alyssa blinked up at Kelley’s voice, just as the ball left your foot. 
She missed your kick, and the ball sailed easily into the net to her left. “We were just finishing up,”
Your shoulders rolled, and it looked like you wanted to argue, but no words left your lips. 
It worried her how much you sunk into yourself at Kelley’s appearance. How your good mood vanished in a second. 
She shared a look with Kelley over your shoulder, noting the worry in the defender's eyes. 
At least someone else saw it too. 
“Come on, you can sit by me at lunch,” Alyssa said, wrapping an arm over your shoulder and guiding you towards the bench with your gear. “We can talk more about ball placement,” 
You made a low noise and allowed her to pull you back towards the team. 
You would take any help you could get. 
 *****
“Where’s Ducky?” Mal asked as she set her plate down on the table beside Lindsey’s, leaving an empty chair on her other side for you. 
She thought practice had gone well, and the good mood you gained through practice stayed with you to the weight and film sessions that followed it. You seemed excited about dinner, hyping up Chef Teron’s cooking and promising that you would join her after you took a shower. 
“Ducky?” Kelley frowned, taking the seat opposite of her. 
“Y/n,” Mal said, glancing up at the defender.  “She found a baby duck at our first camp together,”
It was the truth, even if it wasn’t the entire story. Kelley didn’t need to know exactly how the nickname had been earned anyway. Mal was sure she wouldn’t want to know…
Lindsey shot her a look. A warning of sorts that while Kelley didn’t know the story, the full extent of Mal’s relationship with you, Lindsey definitely did. 
“Em’s not here either. I’m sure they’re just late. You know how they get when they’re together,” Lindsey said, dragging her eyes away from Mal to look at Kelley. 
Kelley shrugged. “It’s entirely possible,” 
You and Emily were known to get into trouble when the two of you were together. 
“What’s possible?” Emily asked, appearing through the meal room door alone. 
“That you and Y/n are late because you two are nuts when you’re together,” Lindsey said, stabbing a piece of her chicken. “It's why Paul banned it at u20 camp,” 
Mal rolled her eyes. “No. He stopped putting them together after Y/n was up for three nights straight because she lost a bet,” 
“That’s true,” Emily shrugged. “She was on the phone with the mysterious Taylor when I left. I didn’t want to wait for her anymore,” 
Kelley’s eyebrows furrowed. “Who?”
She had never heard of Taylor before. 
Emily's shoulders lifted and fell again. “The girl that Y/n isn’t dating but pretty much is,” 
“I’m not dating her,” You grumbled, finally joining the table. 
Mal frowned when you took the seat between Kelley and Emily instead of the seat she had saved for you. She slid the plate she had made for you across the table nonetheless, and you nodded in thanks. 
Emily rolled her eyes, ignoring the way you glared at the side of her head. “She flew to your apartment because she was worried about you, and then went to a shitty game that you only played in for 22 minutes,” 
“I scored a hat trick,” You muttered, stabbing at the pasta Mal had grabbed for you. “It wasn’t that shitty,” 
“I’m sorry, what?” Kelley blinked at you. 
She was usually the first person you told things to, despite how… strained things were between you and your sister at times. It felt very strange to her to be out of the loop. 
You let out a suffering sigh. “It’s nothing. Emily is just blowing everything out of proportion,” 
“Am I?” Emily asked incredulously. “Let me repeat, a girl flew across the country to see you because you were sad,” 
“She’s my friend,” You muttered. 
“Ok,” Kelley said, holding up her hand to stop whatever retort Emily was about to make. “It was very nice of your friend to visit,” 
You hummed, seemingly mollified. “It was. She got to try her first burrito,” 
“What kind of person has never had a burrito?” Lindsey snorted. 
And your shoulders lifted and fell. “She’s from Pennsylvania. I don’t think they’re popular there. Or in Nashville,” 
Emily opened her mouth like she was going to protest, but a sharp look from Kelley had her closing it again. 
The way to get information out of you was to drop the pressure, and let you share what you felt comfortable with, even if it wasn’t the juicy details that anyone really wanted. 
“Does she live in Nashville now?” Kelley asked, pretending like she wasn’t invested in the answer. 
Your nose scrunched, and you chewed your food thoughtfully. You had only visited her in Nashville so far, but you knew she spent a larger amount of time in New York. 
 “At least part-time,” You said, stabbing another set of noodles. “She splits her time between there, LA and New York,”  
“Nice, kid,” Kelley hummed. 
“It’s good to make friends,” Mal added, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, as you smiled brilliantly at her. 
She would believe you when you said that this… Taylor was your friend. After all, she was just your friend too. 
“What about friends?” Alex asked, appearing at the table, and placing her plate down next to Mal. 
“We were just talking about Y/n’s new friend,” Emily said, waggling her eyebrows. “Apparently she never had a burrito before she met your sister,” 
A disgusted look crossed Alex's face. “If that’s a sex thing, then I really don’t want to know about it,” 
“It’s not,” You huffed. “I think about more than just sex you know,” 
“You do? I’m shocked,” Alex deadpanned, and the table burst into bemused laughter. 
“You forgot that she thinks about soccer,” Emily cackled, nudging you. “And the dogs,” 
“Ah yes, the pack of mythological creatures,” Alex said, rolling her eyes. 
“So dogs, soccer, and sex. Seems pretty reasonable to me,” Kelley flicked the side of your head, and you jerked away from her. 
“I fucking hate you guys,” You ground out, stabbing another piece of your chicken, more bitterness than you meant leaking into your tone.
Mal’s head tilted to the side, as the comment only earned more laughter from the table. She noticed something she couldn’t place in Alex’s expression as the giggles died down. 
“I think she thinks a lot about penalty kicks too,” Lindsey added, chuckling. “It was all her and Alyssa would talk about at lunch,” 
Your face twisted into a grimace, and Mal knew at once that you didn’t find it funny. She saw Kelley’s arm shift next to you like a hand was placed on your leg to keep you from pushing yourself out of your seat. 
Alex’s eyebrows furrowed at the comment, and she leaned forward in her chair. 
“Your hips twist to the left when you aim for the top right corner,” She said, her voice going oddly gentle. “If you twist your plant foot outward, it’ll counter it so you can keep your hips square and still have the same power,” 
You froze, your forks halfway to your lips, and your back went rigid. 
It was one thing for Alyssa to offer her help, and another for your sister to do it. 
You bit back your retort that Alex had missed her kick too, that she was no better than you, and forced your fork to your mouth. 
You weren’t in a position to deny help. Even if you didn’t really want it. 
“I can show you later if you want,” Alex continued, seeming unphased by your stiffness. 
“Sure,” Your voice squeaked as you agreed, your eyes dipping. 
Alex’s smile was blinding. “Awesome. We can do it after dinner and before movie night,” 
Your chin barely moved as you nodded in agreement, chewing on your bite. 
Taking pointers from Alex was not a top thing on your to-do list. 
*****
“I just feel like it cuts my power in half,” You sighed, running a frustrated hand through your hair and turning away from the little goal the staff had set up for you. 
“You just need to find the right foot angle so your hips can get around it,” Alex positioned her hands as she explained it. “Just play with it for a bit. I’m sure you’ll get it,” 
You could feel her eyes on you like you were a specimen under a microscope, but you didn’t look up to meet her eyes. 
You couldn’t meet her eyes. 
It reminded you too much of when you were young. Of the hours the two of you would spend in the backyard, critiquing each other play after play. Of the summers you spent under the hot sun, practicing skill after skill until you could take out every other player you faced. 
It reminded you that Alex was more than a teammate. And that was too much. 
“Y/n,” Alex said, her voice going very soft, her hand landing warm and grounding on your shoulder. 
You sucked in a shaky breath. The two of you hadn’t been this close since she left for college. You hadn’t let her this close to you. 
“I’m fine, Alex,” You muttered, trying to shrug her hand off, but she didn’t let you. 
“You’re not,” Her fingers tightened on your shoulder. “And part of that is my fault,” 
Your jaw clenched. “You didn’t sky your penalty,” 
While Alex’s kick hadn’t gone in, it hadn’t been taken nearly as badly as yours was. The keeper had beaten her, while you had simply beaten yourself. 
“No,” She agreed softly. “But I also didn’t make sure you were ok afterward,” 
No. Afterward, everyone split off into different directions to handle their grief. Alex didn’t even say goodbye to you before flying out of Rio. 
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m an adult,” You said, finally looking up to meet her eyes. The eyes were a near-perfect replica of yours. “I’m fine. I’m playing well, and I’m showing everyone that I deserve to be here,” 
Alex nodded. 
She couldn’t disagree that you had been on fire since camp started. That the connection you and Mal had on the pitch was proving to be lethal, and that she was sure Jill regretted that you wouldn’t be eligible for the game against Australia. 
But she could see that you were not fine. 
She wished you trusted her enough to admit it. 
“You might be an adult, but you’re still my little sister,” Alex said, her voice still soft, but determined as she squeezed your shoulder again. “And I want to be there for you,” 
“Now you want to be here for me. Now that everyone is watching you care. Now when it’s convenient,” You muttered, finally pulling yourself free of her hand. 
Her eyes snapped towards you, and the bitterness in your tone. “What?”
You paced towards the ball, taking extra time to fish it out of the back of the net, watching it as you directed it back towards the penalty spot. 
“You care now because that’s what you think is expected of you,” You said finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “You care because it’s convenient for you now that we’re in the same place. When I go back to Chicago, you’re going to go back to not giving a fuck,” 
“Let’s get one thing straight,” Alex growled, catching your wrist, and whipping you around to face her. “I have never not given a fuck,” 
Your jaw worked like you were contemplating the next words to come out of your mouth, and you slowly looked up to meet her eyes. 
They weren’t the icy stone that she expected or the cold blue that she had become accustomed to. 
They were a deep turquoise, vibrant, and… open. Vulnerable in a way they hadn’t been since you were 9 years old. 
“You just left me,” You said. “And then I was alone,”
Something dark lingered under your words. Something that she knew you weren’t saying. Something that she had a feeling was far deeper than what happened after the Olympics. 
“You have never been alone,” Alex grit out, the hand on your arm tightening. 
You rolled your eyes, ripping away from her grasp for the second time. “Whatever Alex,” 
Alex opened her mouth, a scathing retort on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t let it fly. She paused, watching the way you focused back on the ball. You flicked it up onto your toe box, juggling it a few times before you let it fall perfectly on the penalty spot. 
She recognized the movement. It was the same one you used when you were young, and you felt too vulnerable to talk. When you needed to control your emotions. 
She let out a long breath, calming the agitation still simmering in her chest. 
You wouldn’t respond to anger and harsh retorts. No. She had to take a more gentle approach. One that wouldn’t threaten your vulnerability. 
“I shouldn’t have left right after the game in Rio,” She said softly, taking a very slow step toward you. “I’m sorry that I didn’t stay to make sure you were alright,” 
Your shoulders rolled, and you positioned yourself to take another kick. “I didn’t need you to stay,” 
“I also should have checked on you after we got back, instead of just assuming that you were fine,” She pushed on as if you hadn’t spoken.
A strange sort of grimace flashed across your features. One you tried to smother as you did your signature run-up, keeping your hips square (and turning your foot out slightly wider) as you took your kick.
The net swished as the ball made contact, banging into the top right corner with a satisfying rattle. 
It was still amazing to her how quickly you could make adjustments. How easy it was for you to figure out the body mechanics to make a slight change work. 
She took another step towards you. “I know I haven’t been there for you, but I want to be. Not because I think it’s what’s expected of me, but because you’re my sister and I love you,”
She wanted to reach out and catch your shoulder again. To force you to look at her, but she knew that wouldn’t help. 
All she could do was watch as the words filtered through your brain; as you worked them over in your head; as you realized that she wasn’t looking for a fight or defend herself and your posture very slowly relaxed. 
“There’s an app,” Alex continued, taking the last step towards you, getting so close that she was nearly brushing your back. “It tracks miles, and fitness, and calories, and I think it could help us reconnect if you want to try it,” 
She could see the way your jaw worked, as you stepped away from her to collect the ball from the net again like you were chewing on her both words and her offer. 
The offer she meant to make while the two of you were still in Rio. 
She waited as you rolled the ball out of the net, flipping it between your feet for a long minute before you finally looked up and met her eyes. “Ok,” 
She nodded, more to herself than to you, just thankful that you had responded at all. She hadn’t expected even that. 
“I love you,” She repeated softly, reaching out and catching your hand and squeezing in 3 slow pulses. 
You squeezed it in return. “I love you too,” 
The slight reluctance in your tone bothered her, but she would take what she could get with you. It was more than she had gotten in a very long time. 
You cleared your throat, breaking the comforting silence that stretched between you. “When I want to kick it left, would I just angle my plant foot in the opposite direction?”
She blinked, once, twice, 3 times. “Yeah. It’ll help you prevent your hips from telegraphing,” 
You hummed, turning away. 
She should have known that you wouldn’t comment further. That you would turn back to football as soon as you could. She knew it wasn’t personal. 
But she wished it didn’t sting as much. 
******
You glanced down at the new addition to your right wrist, shaking your hand and testing how much the little watch slid with the movement. You had been playing with it since Kelley passed it to you at breakfast. 
You didn’t know that Alex’s app required a stupid piece of jewelry, but you hadn’t had the heart to take it off yet. Not when she was actually trying. 
It was still irritating to you, and you worried that it would get in the way during your afternoon practice and lift session, even if you wouldn’t be allowed to join their walkthrough. 
You didn’t want to break it before you really got to use it. You didn’t think that your Red Stars salary would stretch enough to cover a new one. Not when you were planning extra trips to New York. 
You sighed, grabbing your cup of green juice and taking a large sip. 
You were probably going to have to budget more as it was. Flights weren’t cheap, and neither was food, or a hotel (even if Taylor insisted you could stay with her. As her best friend).
“Hey kid,” Jill said, knocking on the Hotel lobby table. “Got a second?”
You gulped down the liquid and gestured towards the empty couch across from you. “Always coach,”
She smiled and settled into the seat. You leaned forward in your own, your drink landing on the table with a thunk. 
“We’re placing you on the active roster for the game against Canada,” Jill said. “Roary said that you had been making slow improvements, but I wanted to see for myself. You’ve proven that you deserve the spot,” 
“I…-“ You blinked at her. “Thank you. I will not let you down,” 
She waved you off. “I’d like to see some nice linking with Mallory and your sister. I want to really push Trancredi and Chapman,” 
“I can do that,” You nodded seriously. You knew you could get balls to Alex and Mal. You knew you could stretch the defense. 
You were a menace on the pitch, especially when you had something to prove. 
You had everything to prove. 
“I know,” Her lips ticked up and she reached across the table to pat your knee as she stood. “Go eat. You’ll be joining full team practice after lunch, and dawn will have my head if you pass out,”
You matched her smile. “Yes, coach. Thank you,” 
“You’ve earned it,” She said, turning and heading off towards the meal room, but she paused before she exited the lobby. “And stop hiding from your friends,” 
You blushed but nodded in agreement anyway. She winked as she left, and you couldn’t help the bubbling laugh that left your lips, undeterred by her request to stop icing out the team. 
She invited you because she wanted to see your progress herself. She wanted to see if you were progressing as slowly as Roary said you were, and you had proven that you weren’t. You had proven you were an asset. 
You had proven them wrong. 
The elation filled your chest, like champagne in a shaken bottle and all you wanted was to let it out. You wanted to tell someone. 
Well, not someone. You wanted to tell Taylor. 
She was the one who convinced them that you could prove them wrong after all. The one who had been there for you, even before you took the penalty kick in Rio. 
You grabbed your green juice from the table and pushed yourself up from the armchair, pulling your phone out of your pocket as you hung a left down a side hallway by the meal room so you could have some privacy before you faced the rest of the team. 
You easily flicked through your contacts, pausing over the one you had recently changed from blondie to Athena after the goddess of wisdom, and pressing it gently. 
“Hey, what’s up,” Taylor’s smiling face met you after the second ring. “Everything ok?” 
“Better than ok,” You nodded excitedly, flashing her a brilliant grin. “Jill added me to the active squad, and I’m playing in the game on Saturday against Canada,” 
Her eyes lit up. “Oh my god! That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!”
Red leaked into your cheeks. “Thanks,” 
She hummed, her smile shifting into something softer, silence stretching between you for a long second. 
“What time?” She asked, and your eyebrows pulled tightly together. “What?” 
“The game,” She said, the soft look never leaving her eyes. “What time is it on?”
“6ish I think?” Your voice tilted up in question. 
The truth was you didn’t actually know what time the game was on. You didn’t know what time you needed to be on the bus, or when warmups started. 
It was the nice thing about camp. 
You never had to think about a schedule. You just went with the flow.
“I’ll look on the USWNT website,” Taylor rolled her eyes affectionately at you. 
“Good plan,” You said, your head bobbing. 
You opened your mouth to add a quip, but the sound of your name interrupted you. 
You blinked up at the new voice, suddenly realizing that your side hallway wasn’t as private as you thought it was. 
“You’re going to miss lunch,” Mal said, and you wondered how long she had been standing there. How long had she listened in? 
You waved her off. “Just save me a plate,”
You could eat after you were finished with your call. 
“No,” Mal glared at the phone in your hand.  “come on,” 
“You’ve gotta go,” Taylor interjected softly before you could send whatever whippy retort was on your tongue towards Mal, pulling your attention back to the screen. “We’ll talk later, I promise,”  
“I’ll see you later,” You sighed, waving towards Taylor before hanging up, a millisecond before Mal peeked at the screen. 
“That was rude,” You grumbled, slapping her arm when she was close enough. “I was having a conversation,” 
“Well, you were late,” Mal said, rolling her eyes and hooking her arm through yours to pull you tightly to her as she dragged you towards the meal room. “And you get grumpy when you don’t eat,” 
You got more grumpy when you didn’t get to talk to Taylor, but you didn’t voice that thought. 
You didn’t need anyone else questioning your relationship with Taylor, not when she was very firmly your friend. 
OoOoOoO
September 2016
Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it too soon to do this yet?
Cause I know that it’s delicate
The craziness that was August simmered down considerably as soon as September started. It was like the sudden chill in the air was a balm to the insanity that always accompanied the stretch to the playoffs.
With Chicago at the very bottom of the table, well besides Orlando, you knew that your season would likely end in 4 games. It should have made you feel bad, but it didn’t. All you could muster was a strange sense of… blaséness. 
You didn't have it in you to care after the loss of the Olympics. Not in a league that didn’t matter. 
It wasn’t like you were playing for Arsenal. 
What you did care about was that you had earned your national team spot back. 
With 2 assists and a goal yourself against Canada, you had solidified why you deserved your callup. That was before you found out that Taylor was there. 
Things only got better when you got to see her after the game. When you got to hug her and hear her say how proud she was of you. When you got to solidify your plans to see her when you played against Sky Blue. 
Nothing could dampen your… excitement, not even Mal (drunkenly) hanging off of you during the post-game dinner celebration. 
That carried over into your upset win over Portland with Chicago, and the week of practice you had between them and your game in New York. 
And now, sitting in the back of a dark dive bar in Tribeca, trying to ignore your drunk friends (teammates and foes) celebrating, your excitement. Your happiness was nearly palpable. 
Taylor was going to swing by before you left, and the two of you were set to hang out tomorrow too.  
But still, you couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling in the back of your mind. Of the butterflies that fluttered in your chest each time you so much as thought about Taylor. 
You tried to slam a lid on it. To shove it into a little box, because you knew that if you let it out, you would fuck up your friendship. 
It was how you saved your friendship with Mal after all wasn't it?
You had swallowed the lump in your throat, and taken the little piece of her that she gave you. You had even listened to her talk about him while the two of you cuddled. 
But it was different because you weren’t sleeping with Taylor. 
“Hey, sorry I’m kinda late,” Taylor said, just as a hand landed very gently on your shoulder. 
Your lips instantly ticked up at Taylor’s voice and you turned towards the back of the bar to greet her (slightly surprised she hadn’t come in the front). “Hey, no worries,”
You pushed yourself to your feet and pulled her into a tight hug. Your nose pressed against her neck, and you tried not to think about how the scent of lavender and something so innately Taylor put your swirling thoughts at ease. 
You leaned back with a genuine grin, and slid her the drink you had ordered for her “Old fashion right?”
She frowned but took the drink anyway. “How did you order this? You’re not 21 yet,” 
You shrugged and slid back onto your stool. “I didn’t have to order it,” 
She took the stool next to you, her eyebrows lifting. 
“Really I didn’t,” You said, reaching for your own glass. “The losing team always buys the first round at least,” 
She eyed it warily as you brought it to your lips, taking a sip of her own.
“It’s water,” You said before she could ask. “Because Kelley and Christen strongly disapprove of underage drinking,”
“I do too,” Taylor hummed, leaning closer to you so she could hear you over the bar noise. 
“I know,” You said, sending her a cheeky smile. “How was the studio? Cooking up something good?”
She took a sip of her drink. “I think so. I can show you some of them tomorrow,”
“That would be cool,” You nodded, your eyes flickering towards your teammates. “There’s also a cool little brunch spot in TriBeCa. It’s called the bus stop,”
“I’ve heard about it,” Taylor hummed. “It’s like two blocks from my apartment,” 
“I can pick you up tomorrow and we can go,” You said, watching Taylor carefully. “Roary gets upset when I skip out early,” 
You didn’t want to be too… forward. 
You didn’t want to tip the hand on your feelings when you knew she didn’t feel the same. 
“That should work,” Taylor agreed, without even blinking. “I’ll let Jason know you’re coming and I’ll text you directions to the back entrance,” 
“Jason?” You smirked, trying to keep your voice neutral, and wiggled your eyebrows to complete the effect. “Have a boyfriend you’re not telling me about?”
She was your friend you reminded yourself. You weren’t allowed to feel upset if she was dating someone. She probably wasn’t even interested. 
“No,” Taylor chuckled around a sip of her drink. “Jason is my head of security. He’ll let the team know that you’re not just some random fan,”
“Have many of them knock on your door?” You asked, your smirk widening into something that reminded her of a Cheshire Cat grin as you nudged her shoulder gently. 
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” She sighed heavily and a dark look crossed over her features (making you instantly regret the joking tone you had used). “It’s only gotten worse lately, especially since the video came out,”
You grimaced, your nose scrunching adorably. 
You thought the entire handling of the situation by Kanye’s camp was fucking disgusting. You thought he was a total narcissistic creeper and a douche. 
You had already gotten your national team teammates to agree not to listen to it. 
“If he’s ever at a game, I’ll put a price on who can peg him in the head more times,” You Promised with a short nod, and it earned you the desired effect of her giggle. “But seriously I think it’s fucking gross and that he needs to get a life,” 
“I appreciate that, but I don’t need you to fight for me,”  She said, laying a hand on your shoulder. 
“I know,” You nodded. “But I will anyway. A man should know how to treat people,” 
You would always be willing to defend her honor, just like you would defend Mal or any of your teammates. 
Well, maybe this wasn’t like Mal. You didn’t crave Mal’s soft smile or… praise like you did Taylor’s. You didn’t need Mal to acknowledge your bravery like you wanted Taylor to…
God you were really starting to lose the plot. 
Taylor was your friend. 
“I appreciate it,” She said, red coloring her cheeks. “Anyway, what are your other plans for tonight?”
“I’m going to help Christen drag the team back to the hotel, and then I’ll probably crash,” You shrugged, gesturing towards where Christen and Kelley were dancing with Huerta and Sam Kerr. “This way I’m actually awake to hang out with you tomorrow,” 
Taylor’s lips quirked up into a teasing grin. “I do prefer you conscious,” 
You wiggled your eyebrows, shifting on your stool to block Taylor from the view of your teammates when you caught Christen's eye. 
It wasn’t that you didn’t trust them, you just wanted to keep Taylor to yourself. You didn’t want to have to share her. 
“I didn’t know you owned anything other than sweatpants,” Taylor continued, gesturing towards the dark blue jeans you had accented with a pair of Batman Nikes.
You took a sip of your water to cover the light pink that dusted your cheeks. Maybe you had dressed up because you knew you were meeting her at the bar. “We won, so I had to wear something other than warm-up gear. Christen picked them,” 
Christen had helped you because you didn’t actually know how to put an outfit together. You wore sweats because they went with everything. You didn’t have to think about things matching. 
So by the 3rd try, the forward had taken pity on you. Picking a Manchester City jersey to go with your dark pants and your Nike kicks. 
Taylor hummed, smiling very gently at you like she was reading your mind. 
Really, she was fighting to keep her eyes from tracing your arms where you had rolled the jersey sleeves, and from dipping down to where your jeans hugged your ass. 
“Will you be back to your normal style tomorrow, or is she going to pick your outfit again?”
You rolled your eyes at the playful question. “Depends, do I get anything if I dress up?”
“I’ll buy you breakfast,” She smirked and you chuckled, more red bleeding into your cheeks. “Or brunch,” 
“I think that sounds like a fair trade,” You chuckled, nodding along. She giggled at you, and it was like music to your ears, even against the backdrop of the noisy bar. 
It made your smile broaden, just like it always did. It shouldn’t fill your chest with so much pride that you were the reason she was giggling. 
You really needed to get a handle on yourself before you did something stupid that pushed her away. 
You needed to make sure you wouldn’t ruin your friendship. 
You didn’t know what you would do if you lost Taylor. 
********
“I don’t think words can describe how adorable she is,” Taylor sighed towards her phone, taking a sip of her red wine. “I swear she blushes every time I so much as look at her,” 
It wasn’t her first glass of the night. It wasn’t even her second. 
She had opened the bottle as soon as she had gotten back from the bar, and now it was verging on halfway gone. 
She could feel the effects starting to take place, the way it loosened up her muscles and tongue. The way she couldn’t stop gushing about everything that had happened with you up to this point, not that her best friend was in the dark. She had been telling Selena about you for months, recounting each interaction the two of you had from the texting to the pillow fort cuddles. 
Selena hummed, taking a sip of her own wine on the other side of the phone. “I’m surprised considering how… fierce she was on the field. She almost murdered someone today,”
Taylor rolled her eyes. 
You had gotten in a defender's face after a bad tackle just outside of the box, turning angrily towards the reff when no yellow card followed the challenge. 
“That was a bad call and the reff knew it. The defender came in studs up and ruined a good through ball opportunity,” She said. 
Selena raised an eyebrow. “You know you sound like you’re speaking a different language right?”
It was something that had been happening more frequently. Taylor explaining soccer plays and referring to teams using phrases that Selena had never heard before. With all the time the singer had been spending with you, it shouldn’t have been surprising that Taylor would pick up on the dialect that was always on your lips. 
That didn’t mean that Taylor’s best friend couldn’t tease her for it. 
“Y/n was right to get upset. The defender could have hurt her,” Taylor reiterated seriously. 
“I’m sure,” Selena’s tone dripped with sarcasm as she studied her for a long moment. “When are you going to admit that your sudden interest in soccer is because you’re interested in her,”
Deep red immediately bled into Taylor’s cheeks, setting her face aflame.
 “I've already admitted that,” She muttered, hiding behind a sip. 
“Let me rephrase then,” Selena said, a trading smirk on her lips. “When are you going to admit it to her, because no offense, but she obviously hasn’t gotten the message yet, even after you continue to fly out to her games,”
Taylor choked on her wine, “I thought she finally understood tonight. She saved me a spot away from her teammates so we could have privacy, but then she said something about us being best friends when she walked me to the car,” 
“You’re going to have to be more direct,” Selena said, as Taylor took the last sip from her glass. 
“It’s just…” Taylor sighed, setting the empty glass down. “She’s still so young. She just turned 19. I don’t want to… I don’t know, pressure her into something,”
“I don’t think you are,” Selena said slowly, her lips pursing. “You’re both adults who can consent, and even though you’re older, I don’t think there's an unfair power dynamic happening. You’re her sister’s age right?”
“Yes,” Taylor nodded. 
Her and Alex were both born in 1989, and actually, your sister was older than her by almost 6 months, and you were very much an adult. She had made sure of that, refusing to even pursue a friendship until you were 18. 
“Then it’s not like you're some older woman trying to take advantage of her,” 
“No, I’m not. I would never,” Taylor immediately agreed. 
She would do anything to make sure you weren’t being taken advantage of. She knew how powerful existing dynamics could be, and she did her best to avoid their effects. 
You had to consent at every stage, even your friendship. 
“Then there you go,” Selena shrugged, wiggling her fingers at the screen. “Now can you please stop with the pining and make an actual move? It’s less fun than it was before,” 
Taylor threw her head back with a groan. “But how,” 
She had literary flown across the country because you had been added to the starting lineup for the national team and you still didn’t catch the message. 
Selena chuckled. “You’ve literally written a song about it,”
Taylor groaned again. 
She knew the song that Taylor was talking about. She could hear How you get the girl ringing in her head. 
But this was different. 
You didn’t even know about the pressure that had driven them apart. The demands that her management had of her. The complications of her… profession made it impossible for them to be together in the way that she wanted. 
And she hadn’t communicated that nearly as well as she wanted to. 
“That was different. I fucked up and Diana wouldn’t talk to me,” She said softly, 
“But you know the basics. It’s even raining,” Selena shrugged for a 3rd time, smiling impishly at her. “It doesn’t have to be complicated,” 
Taylor bit her lip. 
Selena made it sound simple, but maybe it was. 
“You’re right,” Taylor hummed, a plan forming in her mind. “I'll call you later. After,” 
Selena smirked. “Good luck with lover girl, but I don’t think you’ll need it,” 
“Thanks,” 
******
Taylor shouldn’t have been shocked by how easy it was to get into the hotel that the team was staying at. She shouldn’t have been surprised that the teenager behind the front desk gave her a room number with very little persuading. 
There also hadn’t been any security on the elevator. Or on the floor, your room was on. 
It was a little scary that she could get to you with literally no one stepping in, but considering your frequently snarky comments about how little people actually cared about you and the league, she should’ve expected it. 
If you said yes. If you started a relationship with her, she would have to do something to put a barrier between you and the fans. 
You probably wouldn’t like the idea of someone trailing you around, like Jason and her team trailed her, but it would be necessary. She would have to talk to Jason about it. Maybe Tony would be up for the job, you seemed to like him anyway. 
Finding your door was as easy as getting the number from the receptionist. 
But she paused in front of the ugly red door, her heart pounding on her chest. 
She swallowed hard, lifting her hand and knocking three times on the door. 
She had no reason to be nervous. You loved seeing her, and it wasn’t like you could bring one of your… conquests to a hotel room you shared with a teammate. 
It would just be your sleepy smile that would meet her. The one where your eyes crinkled and you ran a hand through your ever-unruly curls. 
But it wasn’t your tired smile that met her. 
Instead, it was Christen’s Press’ wide smirk, as the older forward opened the door. 
“So you’re the mystery girl from the bar,” Christen’s chin tilted towards her as she leaned against the doorframe. “I thought I recognized you,”
Taylor’s fingers wound into her cardigan, and she swallowed trying to get some moisture in her suddenly dry throat. 
“Is Y/n here?” 
Her voice came out shaky, horse. 
Christen bit her lip, watching Taylor closely like she was a specimen under a microscope. 
“She is not,” She said finally, her arms crossing over her chest, almost defensively. 
“Oh,” 
Taylor’s whole being deflated. 
If you weren’t here, then where were you? Who were you with?
Christen glanced into the room behind her. “She should be back soon though. Wicked started at 8, and she swore it was only a 3-hour show with a thirty-minute intermission,” 
Taylor’s eyebrows furrowed. “She’s on Broadway?” 
You insisted that you hated anything with a plot, but Broadway musicals had a plot. You had also told her that you were just going to hang out at the hotel with your friends. 
Why had you lied? 
Taylor could see the pity in her eyes, and she hated it. 
“Yeah,” Christen nodded once. “She sees at least one show every time she’s in New York. It’s like her 8th time seeing Wicked, but it’s her favorite,” 
“Oh,” Taylor breathed out. 
A pained look crossed Christen’s face, and she shifted on the door frame. 
“I’m sure you’ve heard about y/n’s reputation. I just…,” Christen’s voice was soft, hesitant even. “If… you woke up alone… or if she promised you something…”
Taylor frowned immediately shaking her head. “We didn’t-. She didn’t-. I wanted to talk to her about our plans for tomorrow,” 
Relief washed across Christen’s face. “Good. The two of you looked adorable in the bar, and she wouldn’t shut up about you. She has a habit of ruining things she thinks she doesn’t deserve,” 
Taylor’s eyebrows furrowed. 
What did Christen mean? What did you ruin? 
“You said she’s seeing Wicked tonight?” Taylor asked, her head tilting. 
Jason should be able to get her close to the theater before they let out. Maybe she could catch you. 
Christen nodded, sensing that Taylor was already forming another plan. “Yes. Jackie Burns is playing Elphaba and she’s one of y/n’s favorites,” 
“Thanks,” 
Taylor was already turning away from her, phone in hand. 
Christen caught her arm before she could retreat down the hall, and Taylor met her deep green eyes. “Just… treat her right, ok?”
“I will,” 
Both women felt the weight of the words. The promise. 
“There will be a hoard of angry footballers with a bounty on your head if you don’t,” Christen’s lips cracked into a smile as she released the singer. “Y/n doesn’t just let anyone close to her,”
“I know,” Taylor matched her grin. 
Taylor had already gotten close to you. Closer than you had let nearly everyone before her. Now she just had to actually get you to agree that your relationship was more.
She would, and then she would protect your relationship and you with everything she had. 
******
Sometimes, being a professional soccer player was… strange. 
Strange because you played on a well-known team, but that you could easily disappear into a crowd. Strange because strangers on the internet all so many opinions about you, but none of them actually knew you. 
They didn’t know how much you loved musicals because it let you escape the truth of your own reality for a few hours. They didn’t know how much you loved the way the skyscrapers were accented against the star-dotted sky. How the billboards lit up the sidewalk and the pedicabs and taxis when you stepped out of a show. 
How the rain made the lights twinkle like the street was covered in fairy dust. 
How the cool October air filled your lungs as you shoved your hands deeper into your pockets as you left the Gershwin Theater. 
You would stay and stand at the stage door, but it was already nearing midnight. You promised Christen you wouldn’t be back too late, and the dollar pizza guy around the corner from the hotel closed at 1. You would not be missing out on a greasy one-dollar slice. It was tradition after all, and you already had Jackie Burns’ signature on a framed shirt. 
Plus the rain made anything but finding the subway entrance something you wholeheartedly didn’t want to do. 
“Y/n,” 
You dipped your head at the call of your name, slipping further into the crowd and leaving the theater. 
You didn’t think that anyone would recognize you. They rarely ever did, but then again your face had been plastered all over the place since Rio. 
You weren’t in the mood to deal with fans anyway, even after a solid win over Sky Blue. Not while you were getting soaked. 
“Y/n, wait!” 
You pulled your hood over your head, ignoring the way it pressed into your damp curls, and hunched your shoulders in an attempt to make yourself disappear. 
You just needed to get around the corner of the Barclay building and cut between the hotdog cart and Juniors and you would be safe in the subway station. Away from prying eyes and the drenching rain, and back towards the team hotel in SoHo. 
“Y/n,” 
The voice was even closer, and a hand caught your arm just as you made it to the corner, pulling you to a dead stop. You let out a long, weary breath, painting a million-dollar smile on your face as you turned. 
Yelling at a fan wouldn’t go over well. 
But it melted as soon as you saw exactly who had grabbed you. 
“Taylor?” Her hair was plastered to her head, her dark gray cardigan soaked through, and her blue eyes accented by running makeup. “Where is your coat? What are you doing here?” 
“I need to talk to you,” 
“We need to get you out of this rain,” You muttered, ignoring her. You yanked your zipper down, and tugged your arms out of your jacket, tucking it around her shoulders and pulling the hood over her head. “You’re going to get sick,” 
You caught her hand after you zipped the coat around her and began to drag her towards the subway. 
At least the 51st station was heated. 
“Y/n wait,” 
Her slippery fingers tugged on yours, trying to slow you down. Trying to stop you. 
“No. It’s like 50 degrees out here and raining,” You grumbled, not even looking at her. 
How had she found you? Why was she out in the rain looking for you? What if she got Pneumonia because she chased after you without a coat?
You were trying to remember what Alex and Kelley always said about rain and cold, after rain games. You were trying to remember how Alex would get you warmed up when you were young. 
“Y/n, stop,” Taylor tugged at your hand again, and you glanced over your shoulder at her, still refusing to stop pulling her towards the subway. 
“What? I don’t want you to get sick and die,” You bit back, as the rain got harder, bouncing off Taylor’s hood in large, heavy drops. “Why would you come out here without a raincoat or an umbrella? Or-,”
Taylor jerked you towards her before you could finish, and before you could process what was happening, her lips met yours, stealing the end of your sentence. 
You blinked, your lips frozen for a long second, taking in the feeling of Taylor’s warm lips accented by the cool drops of rain. 
It was like your brain had short-circuited. 
You couldn’t kiss back, or pull away (even though you didn’t want you). All you could do was stand here, mouth halfway open, blinking owlishly at her. 
Her thumb brushed against your cheek as she leaned back, her eyebrows furrowed with worry that she had crossed a line. “Y/n,” 
You blinked again, water dripping off your lashes. 
Taylor kissed you. 
She kissed you in the rain. 
Taylor liked you. 
But she hadn’t said that. She hadn’t said anything. 
You blinked for a third time, tilting your chin up and leaning forward to connect your lips again.
 Taylor sucked in a breath before gently returning the kiss. 
Your lips moved together like they were made for each other. It was slow and warm, and… wet, accented by the rain dripping down your faces. 
Your hands found her waist, your fingers squeezing her hips, and hers tangled in the soaked baby hairs at the back of your neck. 
It was a perfect first kiss. Something out of a fairytale, or one of Taylor’s songs. 
You finally pulled away, breathing heavily through your nose, almost like you had run a full 90. 
“It’s raining, and I don’t want you to get sick,” You mumbled, leaning in and pecking her lips again. 
“Jason and the car are that way,” She said, gesturing back toward the theater.
You lifted your head in that direction, noting the sleek, black Escalade among the yellow cabs. You couldn’t see who was inside, but you knew that that would be true even if it wasn’t nighttime and pouring with the blacked-out windows. 
It had to be worth more than pretty much everything you owned, and you were soaked through. 
It would ruin the interior, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to afford fixing it.
Taylor shivered though, and you sighed, nodding. “Let’s get you warmed up,” 
“You need to get warm too,” Taylor hummed, trailing her hand down your bare arm and catching your fingers. “I have towels in the car,” 
You squeezed her hand, letting her lead you towards the car. The door was open by the time you got to it, the back seat already littered with black towels and a blanket. 
Taylor slid in first, and you followed after her, wiping your curls out of your eyes, and allowing her to wrap a towel around you, even though you didn’t feel cold. 
“Back to your apartment?” The bulky blonde man in the front seat asked, turning to look at Taylor. 
“I have to go back to the team hotel,” You said before she could answer him. “I’ll get in trouble with the coaching staff if I don’t go back, and it’ll upset my teammates,” 
Taylor’s hand landed on your thigh, squeezing gently like she was telling you that she would take care of it. 
“The hotel it is,” The man smiled, turning back towards the steering wheel, and flicking one of the buttons near the center console. More heat began to flood the car, as it inched forward. “Traffic is pretty bad with this rain, so it’ll be a bit,”
“Thanks, Jay,” Taylor sighed, grabbing the blanket and tossing it over the two of you. “We’re not in a hurry,” 
He glanced up at you in the rearview mirror. “Would you like me to put up the privacy curtain?”
Taylor’s lips curved into a playful smile, and she squeezed your thigh again. “No. Not tonight,” 
You raised an eyebrow at her. 
Did she do this often? This couldn’t have been the first time she was with someone in the back of the car. 
The thought made your stomach tumble.
Maybe the kiss wasn’t because she wanted something more, but because she wanted… sex. It wouldn’t be a shocker with your reputation. You were easy, always up for a lay. She just wanted to blow off some steam. 
You shut down that thought. 
It didn’t matter. 
“Are you warm enough?” Taylor asked, and your eyes snapped up to meet hers. 
“Hm?” your eyebrows furrowed deeper. 
You didn’t feel cold. 
She reached up very slowly, brushing a stray curl from your forehead and laying a thumb very gently on your lips. “Your lips are still trembling,” 
You leaned into the warmth of her hand, unable to stop yourself. “Oh, I’m ok. I’ve had to play in the rain before. This isn’t that bad,” 
She looked unconvinced, her other hand adjusting your towel so it covered more of your frame. “You shouldn’t have given me your jacket,”
“You shouldn’t have been out in that without one,” You shrugged, earning an eye roll. 
“I had important things to talk to you about,” She said, her thumb dragging from your lips to brush your cheek. 
Your lips tilted into a teasing smirk. “I don’t think we actually talked,”
“But I think you got the message,” She murmured, completing the circuit with her thumb back towards your lips. 
“Did I?” Your eyebrow quirked up at her. 
She tapped your lips, before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to them. You couldn’t help the way you leaned into her, and kissed back, even if it had warning sirens blaring in your head. 
You would ignore the gnawing feeling that this would ruin your friendship and that Taylor would leave when she was done with you 
“You did,” She hummed as she pulled away, her thumb gliding across your cheek again. 
She sounded so sure of herself. Far more sure than you felt. 
Maybe Emily was right. 
Maybe you should just go with it.
OoOoOoO
You let out a long breath, leaning your forehead against the cool, hotel room door, watching as little water droplets slid down the smooth, red surface. Your hand rested on the handle, but you had no intention of opening it.
Not yet. 
Not while your head still felt like it was in a blender. 
Not while you were still reeling from the feeling of Taylor’s soft lips pressed into yours. Of her thumb making circuits from your cheek to your lips and back. Of her blue eyes staring at you like she could see beneath your skin like she wanted you more than she wanted anything else. 
But she couldn’t want you. 
She probably just wanted to… experiment, and your reputation made you an easy choice. 
You blew out another breath, hoping that the feeling of it leaving your lungs would help steady the shakiness in your knees. 
It was embarrassing, but you had been fantasizing about what her lips would feel like, how she would taste, for a long time. And now that you had actually tasted them, well, it was a craving you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to satiate. It would be so much worse when she decided she didn’t want you. 
You watched a water droplet slide down the door, lazily making its way around a chip in the paint. 
But maybe she did want you. 
You had chased you down in the rain, without a jacket, after all, and kissed you in the street like she didn’t care who was looking. 
You let out one more breath, fishing the key card out of your back pocket and pressing it against the lock until it clicked. You let your forehead push the door open, only lifting it after you had stepped inside the hotel room. 
You weren’t surprised to see that the lights were still on, and Christen was still sitting up in bed a book in her hand and her reading glasses still firmly in place. 
“I was about to send out a search party,” She hummed, catching her bookmark from the nightstand and carefully placing it into the book. It was only then that she looked up at you, a frown pulling at her lips. “Why are you all wet? Where is your jacket?”
You had the decency to send her a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I got distracted and then Tony’s pizza stand was closed so I had to go to the corner slice in Tribeca. I lost my jacket somewhere along the way,” 
You pulled your sodden Manchester City jersey over your head. “Do you think it can be saved?” 
Christen rolled her eyes and pushed herself to stand, crossing the room to the small closet and pulling out a hanger. “Let’s hang dry it, and we’ll see,” 
You followed after her towards the bathroom, turning it the right way out and gingerly sliding it onto the hanger. “It has to be ok. Bronze is my favorite and my parents finally got a name right,” 
She took it from you and hooked it around the shower curtain rail. “A true miracle that I’m sure Alex had nothing to do with,” 
Alex couldn’t have had anything to do with it. You never told her that you liked Bronze. You had only told Rosie. 
Though you weren’t sure how your parents had picked the right one…
She turned back to you, her eyes flickering to the skin just above your lips. A smirk broke across her face and she reached up to brush her thumb over your cheek. “Is that lipstick?”
You jerked your head away from her. “No,” 
There was no way Taylor’s lipstick could be on your soaking-wet skin. Not with the way the rain had drenched the two of you. 
Except… 
your eyes closed. 
Taylor had kissed your cheek before you exited the car. You slipped out of the Escalade under the awning of the hotel, safe from the rain. 
“Let’s get the not lipstick off of you then,” Christen hummed noncommittally, pulling you closer to the sink. “How did you get so soaked?”
You waited until she turned away from you to dig into her makeup bag to answer, contemplating the words that you would say. 
Surely her advice would help too, but then her girlfriend would probably tell your sister. 
It would be easier if you just kept it all to yourself. If you just followed Emily’s advice and went with it. 
“I got distracted and the corner slice doesn’t have indoor seating,” you said, eying the bottles she was pulling from her bag, dabbing a cotton ball on the top. “What’s that?” 
“Makeup remover,” She hummed, her fingers catching your chin and tilting it so she had a better view of the offending red on your lips. “It must be waterproof, so this is the only thing that will get it off unless you want to dye the sheets red,”
Your nose scrunched at the acrid smell on the cotton ball as she very gently began to swipe it against your lips. You let your eyes slide closed, trying to ignore how small it made you feel. Trying to ignore how much it reminded you of when you were little. 
But it was too late.
You could feel the ghosts of her hands drawing across your cheeks in quick, practiced movements, and practically hear Alex’s “hold still little monkey,” ringing in your ears. You could see the soft smile that always played at her lips and the way her blue eyes focused as she helped you. 
“Hold still little monkey, I’ll be quick. I promise,” 
They were memories you didn’t want to remember. They brought a warm, protected feeling to your chest that you wanted to forget. 
The betrayal that followed would hurt less if you forgot if you didn’t remember the safety and care that had never been a question before it. The feelings that you were searching for in one bed or another. The feelings that you were convinced you would never feel again.
But then you met Taylor, and she made you want to believe you were wrong. 
“You’re good to go,” Christen said, pulling you back to reality. 
Your eyes blinked open, and you sent her a charming smile as you pulled away. “Thanks,”
She nodded back at you, watching you for a long minute like she wanted to say something she wasn’t sure about. 
“What?”
“Your hair is sticking up,” Christen quirked a small smile at you, and your eyes flickered toward the mirror, frowning.
You were sure that’s now what she was going to say, but you were grateful that she didn’t voice whatever thought she had.
But she was right. Amongst the mop of curls you had been letting grow since the undercut disaster of the 2015 World Cup, several were sticking up at strange angles. The one at the crown of your head standing straight up in a semi-hilarious impression of alfalfa from the little rascals. It was probably due to the water and wax that you always wore on game days to keep it out of your eyes mixing. 
They would be a bitch to fix in the morning if they dried like that. Maybe you would just wear a beanie over them instead of putting in the effort to fix them. Or maybe you would just chop them all off again.  
You reached for one of the small white hand towels, tossing it over your wild, tangled, soaked curls and dropping your pants with the other in a fluid motion. “I should dry off,”
Christen rolled her eyes, entirely used to your antics after spending a season in a locker room with you, and many more of being on the national team. She was just thankful you had a bra and boxers on. “And maybe get rid of the sex hair so the media doesn’t have a field day,” 
You wiggled your eyebrows at her, pushing her towards the bathroom door. “Well, what would they do with my reputation then,” 
Realize you’re not what you present yourself as Christen thought wryly. 
She wondered if Taylor had figured that out yet too. That you hid your sunshiney personality under a brash and untrusting exterior. 
The girl had gone chasing after you in the rain after all, so maybe, just maybe, she saw you for what you really were. And hopefully, she was prepared to give you what you needed. 
What you clearly didn’t feel you had the right to crave. 
******
November 2016
Windows flung right open, autumn air, 
Jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours
It was a strange feeling, being on the East Coast and it feeling like home. 
You had been raised on the West Coast. You spent the majority of your time in the center of the country, but somehow, you found yourself craving the crisp autumn air that only existed in the east. 
There was the possibility that you were just drawn to the city. That you were addicted to how into the game fans got, starting up chants for you even though you were on the opposing team. But there was also the slight chance that your new-found love of the city was directly tied to one of its most beloved inhabitants. 
You and Taylor had only grown impossibly closer in the time since the kiss. The flirty texts between the two of you were more frequent as were the half-dressed locker room photos and videos of you dancing at practice. The calls had also increased to the point where you almost always fell asleep listening to her slow breathing, and woke up to a good morning. 
But despite your increasing closeness, the two of you hadn’t defined what you were. And you had absolutely no clue where you stood. 
You pulled your knee closer to your chest, resting your cleat-covered foot on the bench next to you, and undoing the three special knots you always put in your custom red laces. 
You were thankful that camp was over. That you would get to spend some time in the city after the win. 
“Is there a reason you were terrorizing Colombia? Or was it just for fun?” Emily smirked, appearing on the bench next to you. 
You raised your eyebrows at her, a cocky smile pulling at your lips. “Do I need to have a reason to play well?”
“No,” Emily shrugged. 
It wasn’t your fault that their entire back line had crumbled under your and Alex’s pressure. It wasn’t your fault that Christen had cut through them collecting the balls you sent her way. 
It wasn’t your fault that the keeper had missed the chance to save 4 of your shots. 
“The crowd certainly enjoyed the display,” Rose added, sitting on your other side, effectively trapping you between them. “Just seems like your celebrations were a little too on the nose for you not to be… directing them at someone,” 
You rolled your eyes. Just because you blew a kiss towards a section of the stands after your 3rd goal, didn’t mean that it had been directed. And just because the chanting of your name only got louder after that didn’t mean it had been for them. 
Well, it didn’t have to mean it was directed, even if you did have a person in mind to receive it. 
No one else had to know that. 
“It was the section who did the Morgan magic chant,” You mumbled, pulling off your cleat and lining it next to the fancy pair of Vans you had chosen for tonight. 
“Got a hot date?” Emily asked, nudging your shoulder with her own as Rose turned from the two of you and became engrossed in a conversation with Sam. 
“Something like that,” You mumbled, moving on to your other cleat. “I’m still not sure… where I stand. With my friend.”
“The one you’ve been sending half-naked photos to?” Emily wiggled her eyebrows at you. 
You would never live down the after-training snapshots you had taken or the pictures from the weight room that you had sent off. 
You nodded reluctantly. “We’ve been more flirty since September,”
“Since the kiss?” She asked, watching as you shed your game shorts and grabbed a pair of jeans instead of your usual post-game sweats. 
“Yes,” You nodded, pausing for a second and biting your lip. “But I just… I’m going to fuck this up,” 
You ran a hand through your messy hair, still damp from the post-game shower. 
“You’re not,” Emily rolled her eyes, and she stole your shirt from your locker before you could pull it over your head, forcing you to look at her. “You’re doing pretty well so far. Just don’t make it complicated,” 
You met her eyes, swallowing hard. 
“Just go with it,” You repeated her own advice back to her. 
You were just having dinner and a movie night with Taylor. It would be familiar. Easy. 
It didn’t have to be complicated. 
“Exactly,” She agreed, tossing your shirt at you. “You seem to be going with the flow pretty well,” 
You pulled the green material over your head, reaching into your locker for your trusty hair wax, rubbing it between your hands, and trying to smooth out your hair. 
You glanced down at your phone when it buzzed. “Speaking of going with it, I’ve gotta go,” 
You slid the device into your pocket along with your wallet and hooked your fancy watch on your wrist. You shoved your feet into your Vans and sending a wink towards Sonnett. 
“I’ll make sure your bag makes it to Kelley. Tell Taylor I said hello,” She smirked, patting your back as you headed towards the locker room door. 
You looked over your shoulder at her. “No,” 
Before slamming the locker room door shut. 
You turned the corner, finding a quiet place in the hall, and leaned against the cool brick of the stadium, hoping no one would see you. 
Maybe you had directed your hat trick kiss towards where you knew a specific person was watching. 
You pulled your phone out of your pocket and opened your messages. 
You loved Emily, and Rose. You really did, but their propensity for butting in while you were texting had been particularly grating after they found out who you were sending messages to. 
They had already gotten a hold of your phone twice. Once they tried to call her and the second they sent a string of cryptic texts that had Taylor convinced you had gotten hurt at practice. It took you almost 3 hours to convince her that you were actually fine. You had even had to put her on the phone with Luke from the physical therapy staff to convince her that she didn’t need to fly in from Nashville early. After that, you stopped texting around them altogether and changed your password to a 37-digit code. 
Plus, Mal glared at you whenever you were on your phone. 
Athena 👸🏼: Tony and Jason are taking me to the back tunnel by the car. Do you want to meet us there, or do you want us to meet you somewhere else?
Your eyebrows pulled tightly together and you looked away from your phone and down the long hallway. 
You certainly didn’t want her to be anywhere near the locker room where your sister and your nosey teammates were. You weren’t ready to… share Taylor with them yet. You weren’t ready to answer questions when you weren’t even sure where you stood with her. 
Your relationship felt… fragile… and you weren’t ready to mess that up yet. 
Soccer hottie ⚽️: Stay put, I’ll meet you there. 
You pushed yourself off the wall, turning to your left and strolling down the maze of hallways. You didn’t need to look at the signs to know which way to go, you had been to Red Bull (and snuck out of it with company you wanted to keep away from prying eyes) enough that you had the layout memorized. 
“Hey hotshot,” 
“Hey,” You smiled widely as you rounded the corner and Tony came into view. 
You had been seeing him far more frequently since the kiss. Part of you thought it was because he just lived near you in Chicago. He liked the same smoothie place you did and frequented the same restaurants. 
But a smaller part of you wondered if Taylor had something to do with it. 
“I thought you would be waiting with Tay,” You said as he squeezed your arm, pulling your overnight bag from your shoulder and slinging it over his own. 
“She sent me to come find you,” Tony said, a teasing smirk pulling at his features. 
You knew it wasn’t you he was teasing. 
“I don’t need a babysitter,” You sighed, running a hand through your still-damp hair, brushing the unruly curls from in front of your eyes. 
“She was impatient,” He shrugged, unbothered by (or entirely used to) your protest, gesturing to the barely noticeable clear earpiece in his right ear. “I offered to find you and give her an eta,” 
The wire disappeared down the back of his shirt where you were sure it connected to a radio. You rolled your eyes. 
Maybe you should be flattered that she wanted live updates of your whereabouts, but you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your chest that she didn’t think you were capable of making it to the car tunnel on your own. 
“I told her I was on my way like 2 minutes ago,” You huffed, glancing behind you. 
You hadn’t taken long after the game to exit the field. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. You finished the obligatory lap and then stayed to sign autographs for the fans that had cheered for you all game. 
You rushed through the showers after Vlatko’s post-game droning and changed quickly. 
“I know,” Tony agreed, falling into step beside you as you continued down the corridor. “She’s just excited to see you. You put on quite the show,” 
You wiggled your eyebrows. “The crowd got into it and that made scoring and setting up my friends more fun,” 
Tony made a low humming noise as he stepped in front of you, pushing open the double doors that led to the private car tunnel so you didn’t have to. 
You barely stepped through before a body collided with yours. 
Your hands caught Taylor’s hips as you stumbled, and she wrapped you in a very tight hug. 
“I missed you,” She mumbled, and you felt a hand on your back to steady the two of you. 
You hummed, tucking your nose into her collarbone and squeezing her. “I missed you too,” 
It was true. 
It had only been six weeks since the last time you saw her in person, and you talked at least once a day, but it was a feeling of longing that saturated your being. Her presence was a deep… need that seeped into your bones. 
It was a little alarming how… dependent you felt.
The two of you embraced for another long moment, and you let the smell of coconut and lavender from her perfume wash over your senses and soothe the post-game dip that always prickled your brain. 
“You played so so well,” She said, pulling away, a wide smile radiating off of her.
You let your own cocky grin pull across your features. “Thanks, I like to get the crowd fired up,” 
“They were electric,” She hummed, letting her hand trail down your arm and landing lightly on your stomach. 
You opened your mouth to respond, but Your stomach ruined the moment with a loud rumble. 
Taylor frowned. “Have you eaten today?” 
“Not really. I had lunch and then just a protein bar and a veggie shake,” You shrugged, sending a guilty look her way. “I don’t like to have a lot in my stomach during games,” 
It was a bad habit you had picked up in highschool after a very hot game in August ended up with your pasta lunch making a reappearance in a sideline trash can. 
“There’s a fantastic Italian place by mine?” Taylor offered, almost shyly as your stomach rumbled again against her hand. 
You leaned in and pressed a very sweet kiss to her lips, unable to resist, and enjoying the light red that dusted her cheeks. 
Your hand slipped into her back pocket, and you sent her a cheeky smile. “Lead the way then,”
OoOoOoO
Dinner with Taylor was absolutely incredible. Well, confusing for you, but amazing nonetheless. 
The restaurant she had chosen was small, intimate, and expensive. You looked through the entire menu, choosing the cheapest pasta you could find, even though you fucking hated pesto because it was the only dish that wouldn’t mean you would have to raid the Chicago locker room for snacks when you got back. 
It hadn’t mattered because Taylor paid anyway. 
Conversation flowed between the two of you like water. It was so easy to talk to Taylor, and you were slowly growing addicted to making her laugh. 
It was exactly like it had been before the two of you shared the kiss(s) until you got back into the car. 
She had been very… handsey in the ride back. And you had been handsey too, your fingers dipping past her skirt to squeeze her ass at every opportunity. 
Things hadn't slowed down in the elevator, and you had attacked her neck as she fished out the key to her apartment. 
You were growing addicted to the taste of her skin as well. 
She pressed you into the island, her lips dragging down your neck and towards your collarbone as soon as you were through the door. 
That’s when the anxiety clenched in your stomach, thinking of the way your heart pounded in your ears when you walked out of the tunnel and into a stadium, your eyes trained on the jersey numbers in front of you. 
You needed a way to slow her down. To… delay the inevitable. 
You saw your pale, terrified face in the reflection of her sliding glass door, and it felt like a lightbulb flashing in your brain. 
“Want to go swimming?” You asked suddenly, and her hands paused on your waist as her lips ghosting just over your pulse point. 
“What?”
You felt her lips curl into a frown against your skin.  
“I didn’t take my post-game ice bath,” You said, pulling away, so you could meet her eyes and gesturing towards the city lights glinting off of her infinity pool. “and your pool should be cold enough,” 
Her eyebrows knitted tightly together. “You want to go swimming in October, in New York? Wouldn’t you rather continue this?”
You shrugged, painting a charming smile across your face (hoping she wouldn’t see through it).  “When else will we be able to enjoy a view like this,”
Her lips turned even further down, and your heart beat a little bit faster. 
You didn’t want her to think you were rejecting her. You weren’t. You just…
“You don’t even have a bathing suit,” She said softly, and you could hear the hesitation in her voice. The concern. 
You needed to redirect her. To make her think that everything was ok so you didn’t lose her. 
“I don’t need one,” You wiggled your eyebrows and caught her fingers, tugging her towards the sliding glass door. “Come on,”
The view was even better from outside, the lights of the city twinkling in time with the stars and reflecting off of the pool back at you. 
“Let me at least turn on the pool lights,” She grumbled, reaching for a small remote on one of the lounge chairs. “Wouldn’t want you to miss the edge and get hurt before the end of the season,” 
You smirked, releasing her while she squinted at the clicker. 
***SECTION CONTAINING SLIGHT SMUT***
You easily slipped out of your shorts and pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you in a pair of boxers and your sports bra as you stepped towards the infinity pool. “Don’t mess with it for too long,” 
You didn’t wait for her to respond before diving into the icy water. 
It immediately prickled at your skin like a million tiny needles, pulling the air from your lungs and giving you the sensation of the world's worst brain freeze. You kept your eyes closed, forcing yourself to relax against the painful assault, letting yourself sink to the glacial blue tiles on the bottom of her pool. 
You could visualize the heat seeping out of you and into the shimmering floor, and you allowed yourself to give in to the sensation. To imagine it was the tension in your muscles, the aches that always came after a game, slowly leaching into your frigid surroundings. 
Letting the water numb your anxious mind until all that was left was a serene sense of calm. 
It felt familiar. Good in a masochistic sort of way that you couldn’t accurately put into words. 
Your brain absentmindedly reached its countdown from 45, and you pushed yourself off of the bottom. 
You let out a long breath as your head broke the surface, wiping your curls out of your eyes, and turning towards Taylor. 
She was at the edge of the pool, the remote hanging loosely in her hand, her wide eyes glinting off of the fairy lights strung along the balcony and over the pool. 
“You coming?” You asked, plastering a playful smirk across your lips. “Or are you just going to stare?”
Her mouth opened and closed, reminding you of a fish. 
You rolled your eyes, gilded towards her, stopping at her feet and looking up at her through your lashes. 
You dragged your fingers along the seam in the tiles and gently laid your hand on her foot, trying not to smirk at the shiver that ran down her spine. “It’s kinda lonely in here,” 
She blinked at you, slowly pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it behind her. 
You couldn’t help the way your eyes dragged down the newly exposed skin of her collarbone, between her breasts, and down to the waistband of her jeans where she was thumbing the button there. 
All of your attention was glued to her as she slid the material down her long legs, revealing creamy skin that made your mouth water accented by the deep blue material of her underwear. 
It stirred butterflies in your chest like the sight of no other woman had. You wanted her like you had never wanted anyone. 
Not even Mal. 
“It’s unfair how hot you are,” Taylor mumbled, settling on the edge of the pool, her legs bracketing you as she slid them into the frigid water. 
You ran your fingers up her calves and onto her thighs. “You’re not bad yourself,” 
She rolled her eyes, reaching down and smoothing your curls off of your forehead, dragging her hands down your face to cup your cheeks. Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. “It’s criminal how much you show your abs during games,” 
You shrugged, floating closer to her and letting your thumb toy with the elastic on her underwear. “Sweat burns when it’s in my eyes. Plus the fans like it, and so do you,”
Taylor made a low noise, drawing you closer to her, so you could feel her breath on your lips. “You’re a tease you know?” 
“You dig it,” You smirked, leaning in the final centimeter to connect your lips in a slow kiss. 
You couldn’t help the low sound that came out of the back of your throat as her tongue gently pressed against your lips, and you opened them to meet her. 
She tasted like red wine and strawberries and something that was so… Taylor. 
It was sweet and spicy and addictive. 
And it made you want her. 
You pulled away when air became an issue, trailing down her cheek to her neck, under her chin, and lavishing the skin you found down by her pulse point with your tongue. You enjoyed the way you could feel her heartbeat, how you could feel it quicken under your ministrations. 
You tried to keep your mind focused as you made your way down her neck, to her chest. You tried to focus on the softness of her skin and to memorize the way it tasted. To imprint in your mind how your tongue glided in velvet skin. 
You tried not to let your thoughts drift towards how a soccer ball felt at your feet. How you were still working on how to twist your hips to not give away which direction you were going to kick. How you needed to point your toes to perform the newest trick you were learning. 
Her fingers tangled in your hair, weaving through the wet curls close to your scalp and pulling you impossibly closer. 
You mouthed the edge of her bra, placing feather light kisses in a line between her breasts (paying special attention to the barely visible freckle you found there), ghosting down her stomach, and landing on the elastic of her underwear, letting her hand guide you where she wanted you. 
You looked up at her, meeting her hazy blue eyes. “Are you sure?” 
Her fingers tightened, pleasantly scratching your scalp. “I’ve never been more sure,” 
Your lips tilted into a devilish grin, your body sipping lower into the frigid water. “As you wish,” 
*****
Taylor panted heavily against you, each breath warming your neck as you spun in slow circles in the cold water. Her legs wrapped tightly around your waist, and your hand worked slowly between your bodies, bringing her down from her orgasm. 
You had lost track of what number she was on. Actually, you had lost track of pretty much everything after her underwear came off. 
It didn’t matter how hard you fought to stay present, you couldn’t help the way your brain slipped away. How your thoughts slid from Taylor the second you were level with her center. How the all-encompassing butterflies in your stomach fluttered away and you faded into familiar sensations and your thoughts turned to soccer. 
You knew it was weird to be working through a double-pivot formation while you were having sex. It was weird for you to be thinking about ball rotations and through passes or lineups for upcoming games while you were getting a girl off. 
Except it’s where your mind always went. 
Taylor made a low noise against your throat, and your fingers stopped gliding through her velvety folds. Your other arm tightened around her as you pulled your hand away, bringing it to your lips and lightly sucking your fingers. 
You sighed at the taste, sweet, salty, and a little tangy, happy that Taylor's pool was salt water instead of chlorine. It would have made this entire experience much less enjoyable. 
“Don’t do that,” Taylor said, her nose nudging the space under your chin. 
“Hm?” You hummed around your finger, your abs flexing as she shifted. 
She reached for your wrist, pulling your finger from your lips. “I need a minute before I can go again, and you make it hard to wait,”
You leaned in and connected your lips, your tongue probing at her bottom lip and gently slid your tongue in when she parted her lips. Her hips rolled and you flexed your abs to give her a better surface. 
“I can’t help it,” You smirked as you pulled away. “You just taste so good,”
She shivered against you, but you weren’t sure if it was from overstimulation or the cold. 
“Come on, let’s get cleaned up,” You said, walking towards the pool stairs. “And you can recover,” 
Her legs tightened around you as you carried her up the steps, and her head rested on your shoulder. “I forgot how strong you are,” 
You made a low noise, focusing on your feet so you didn’t slip and send you both back into the freezing pool. 
“Where is your bathroom?” You asked, carefully sliding her glass door open and stepping into her apartment. “I don’t want to get water everywhere,” 
“Down the hall to the left,” She said, lifting an arm to gesture down the hallway, but not moving her head from its safe space between your neck and shoulder. “It’s through my bedroom,”
You nodded, easily making your way through the hallway, across the dark carpet of her bedroom, and into the massive master bathroom. 
You set her down on the Marble counter you found there, placing a light kiss on her head before you turned away towards the giant bathtub, and began fiddling with the golden faucets. 
It took you a second to make the water a good temperature and to flick the drain plug before you returned to her, slotting between her legs again.
“Do you want a drink or something?” You asked as she pulled you back in for another kiss.
“I’d love one,” She breathed against your lips. “I have wine in the fridge,” 
“I’ll go get it,” You hummed. “You just stay here and look pretty,” 
Her mouth curved against yours, and you finally pulled away, kissing her nose before you padded off toward the kitchen (ignoring how she tapped your ass as you left). 
It felt like a weight left your chest as you exited her bedroom, and you took a long breath as you made it to the kitchen. 
There had to be something fucking wrong with you. 
You had a naked woman two rooms over. A woman who had gone skinny dipping with you. A woman who was recovering so you could give her another orgasm. And here you were, doing your best to stall. Trying to quell the growing dread in your stomach. 
You shook your head, going to the wine fridge and pulling out the half-full bottle of red you were sure was the one Taylor wanted. You also grabbed two water bottles and found a wine glass in the cabinet. 
Just because you had hooked up with her… were actively hooking up with her… didn’t mean that she wanted your relationship to change. 
You took another deep breath. 
Being weird about any of this would just make it worse. 
You could be normal. 
You could save your friendship. 
You turned from the kitchen, slowly making your way back to the bathroom. 
Taylor smiled softly at you when you returned, holding out her arms to you. “I can’t believe you never took your clothing off,” 
You painted an easy smirk on your lips, setting the bottles and glass down on the counter before, letting her wrap her arms around you. “You were distracted,” 
She hummed. “You’re… very good with your hands,” 
You wiggled your eyebrows, leaning in to peck her lips before you turned away. You turned off the water in the tub and held your hand out for her. “Get in first. I’ll pour you some wine and join you. This way I can show you the other things my hands are good at,” 
She rolled her eyes, but let you guide her into the tub, sighing as she immersed herself in the warm water. 
You waited for her to get settled before you poured her half a glass of wine and passed it her way, and you grabbed a bottle of water for yourself, cracking it open and taking a very long sip. 
Taylor made another low sound, and you felt her eyes on you, following every movement. You flexed your arm and abs for effect as you finished off the bottle. 
You smirked at her as you pulled it away from your Lips, setting it on the counter. “Lean forward so I can get into the tub,” 
She eyed you, shaking her head. “This is a clothing-free zone,” 
“Is it?” You asked, cocking your head to the side. 
She hummed. “It is. I can’t believe you still have boxers and a bra on,” 
“You were distracted,” You shrugged smirking devilishly at her, placing the bottle on the counter and easily slipping out of your soaked boxers. “Something about the water being too cold,” 
“Try freezing,” She huffed, her eyes tracing the newly exposed skin of your thighs (your muscles standing out because of the cold), up towards your hips, taking a large sip of her wine. “But you warmed me up,”
“I’m good at that,” You murmured, pulling your bra over your head and stepping towards the tub. “Please lean forward so I can get in,” you 
“You are,” She breathed out as you slid into the tub behind her. She shifted so your thighs could encapsulate hers. 
Your arms wrapped gently around her middle, your palm laying flat on her stomach and your chin resting on her shoulder. 
You would have laughed at Taylor being the little spoon (because you were the shorter of the two of you), but you liked holding her. You also liked that the only places she could reach were your arms and legs. 
Safe territory. 
Territory that put you in control of the pace. 
“It’s unfair how you look so good, and how good you are,” She let out another breath, wiggling so her back was pressed more tightly against your front. 
You made a low sound, rubbing your hand up and down her stomach, your fingers just barely brushing her pelvic bone on each pass. 
You didn’t like how… pronounced they were. It was something you knew you would have to address at some point but now did not feel like the right time. 
“You’re pretty gorgeous yourself,” You murmured into her neck, kissing behind her ear, and letting your lips travel lower to the special spot you had found near her pulse point. 
Her head tilted to give you more room, and her hands fell to where your knees were bracketing hers just below the steamy water. She pressed very gently into a dark bruise forming on your calf from a mistimed tackle. “You have no idea what you do to me. How much those stupid videos your teammates are always taking make me want you,”
You smirked against the soft skin of her neck, letting your tongue linger for a long second as your left hand dipped even lower on her stomach. 
You knew the videos she was talking about. The ones that always seemed to catch you with your shirt off because you preferred to train that way. You hated when the damp material of your training top clung to you, so you normally forgoed one unless the media team was filming some behind-the-scenes stuff. 
“I’ll have to send you my own videos now that I know you like them,” You said, dragging your lips up her neck towards her ear, and very gently letting your teeth close around the soft tissue. 
She released a shakier breath as your fingers found her clit, and began rubbing very gentle circles. “I’d like that,” 
“You got it,” You hummed, pressing a little harder, and dipping down towards the heat that had nothing to do with the bath water while your other hand sliding up to her chest to toy with her nipple 
You smirked when her wine glass shook dangerously, the red liquid tipping out of the top as your fingers curled, pressing into the very special patch inside her. 
It reminded you of when a ball tipped off of a keeper's fingers. How it bobbled before landing back on the grass. How you always held your breath to see if it would land on the right side of the goal line. 
It was the perk of playing in Chicago, you supposed, that you had Alyssa as your starting keeper. You always felt like the ball was safe in her hands. You felt comfortable taking chances because you knew she was capable of cleaning up any messes you made. That her and JJ would protect the goal well enough that you could push forward. 
Taylor tensed around your fingers, and the glass finally fell, landing thankfully in the water instead of crashing to the ground outside of the tub. 
You kept your pace as she rode out her orgasm, your eyes focused on the red dissipating into the water until she finally relaxed against you. You finally pulled away when you were sure she was finished, kissing behind her ear and listening to her labored breathing as she came down. 
Her head turned, and you laid a kiss on her cheek. “You made me spill my wine,” 
“Oops,” You chuckled, not at all sorry, tweaking her nipple again before letting go and resting your hands on her stomach. 
She giggled in response, swatting your knee and then soothing her hand over a large bruise forming just below it. “Behave,” 
“I’m not known for behaving,” You said as she reached over and grabbed the fallen glass before either of you could accidentally break it. “It’s why the equipment staff are always following me around with extra shirts,” 
“Try for me?” She asked, her lips curving into a smile you hadn’t seen her send to anyone else, making you melt. “I don’t think I have any more orgasms into me tonight,” 
“Whatever you want,” You agreed, laying another kiss on her cheek. 
She hummed, leaning back into you, and you tightened your arms around her. 
You wondered if you should suggest that the two of you clean up and get ready for bed, but you didn’t even know if she wanted you to stay. You didn’t know if you would be welcome now that the two of you were done. 
You had never not snuck out after. You didn’t know how any of this worked, and you were too afraid to ask. 
“Just give me a few minutes and I’ll return the favor,” She mumbled. “You deserve it,” 
You shook your head, tucking your nose in the space between her neck and shoulder. “I’m good. I got enough watching you,” 
She sucked in a breath.“Are you sure?” 
You hummed, kissing the junction where her neck and shoulder met. “I’m good. I’m with you,” 
It was the truth. 
It was easier this way. You knew how to deal with things this way. 
She made a low noise of agreement. “Let’s just sit for a bit then, and then we can get cleaned up and go to bed,”
“Whatever you want,” You placed another kiss on her velvety skin, content to follow her lead. 
Maybe you would get to keep your friendship after all. 
***END OF SLIGHT SMUT***
OoOoOoO
Mornings were always your favorite. 
You loved the way soft light fluttered through curtains, casting a candle-like glow on the room around you. The way the oranges and yellows melted into brilliant white, chasing away the darkness like lanterns in a cavern.
It reminded you of when you were little, cuddled up to Alex after a nightmare. She would run a hand through your hair, and tell you stories into the early hours of the morning, insisting that tales of Knights and Princesses could chase away the monsters that haunted your dreams. 
“Just close your eyes monkey. I’ll protect you. Always,”
She made you feel safe. The rise and fall of her chest allowing your restless mind to relax.
It was no different here in Taylor’s bed, wrapped in perfect white sheets, her arm draped around your middle, her head resting on your shoulders, and her soft breaths tickling your neck at each exhale. Your bodies were pressed together, and you could feel her bare legs tangled with yours. 
She made you feel safe and warm and like you mattered and that fucking terrified you. 
It kept you up long after Taylor’s breathing turned deep and heavy, staring at the ceiling like it would give you the answers you were searching for. 
You kept your arm wrapped around her, your fingers playing with the very tips of her hair and drawing shapes on the skin of her bare back. 
You had to fight the urge to flee as soon as you were sure she was asleep. The urge that you had always indulged with your hookups. The one that meant you would never have to face the consequences of a hookup. 
But Taylor wasn’t a hookup. 
Even if she didn’t want a relationship, if you got to hold her like this, then you would accept whatever little part of herself she was willing to give you. And that terrified you too. 
You promised yourself you wouldn’t do this again after-. 
You let out a long breath from your nose. 
It wasn’t fair for you to think about that… relationship. If you could call it that. 
You should go before Taylor woke up. Escape before you ruined this like you ruined that. 
“I can feel you thinking,” Taylor mumbled against your neck, her lips tickling your skin. 
“Sorry,” You murmured, running your fingers very gently over the skin of her back and laying a kiss on the top of her head. “Go back to sleep, it’s still early,” 
She shifted against your shoulder, tired blue eyes peering up at you. “What time is it?”
You squinted at the clock on her bedside table. “Just after 6,” 
She groaned. “Why are you awake?”
“Habit,” You said, looking back up at her ceiling, ending the debate in your brain. “I have to go to team recovery?”
It wasn’t a total lie. You did have to pick up your kit bag from the hotel, and you liked to do morning jogs after games to work out your muscles, but really, you needed… separation to quell the monster threatening to rip your lungs into pieces. 
You didn’t know how to not ruin your friendship. How to navigate your feelings without losing her. 
You needed to go for a run, to feel the ache in your chest and your legs to help you figure out what the fuck you were supposed to do. But at the same time, you didn’t want to leave. 
You refused to let her become another hookup. You would just run for a few hours and then return. 
You weren’t running like you did with the others. You were just… catching your breath. You were just getting your head straight. 
“The cold plunge you took last night wasn’t recovery enough?” Taylor asked, smirking up at you. 
You let your lips pull to match her expression. “Unfortunately no, but I can bring lunch back here when I’m done?” 
“I think that sounds like a fair trade,” She said, leaning up on her arm and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. 
“Does it?” You wiggled your eyebrows at her. 
“Hmm,” She made a low sound, connecting your lips again. “Do you have time for a shower before you go?”
You chased her lips with a teasing smirk as she pulled away. “I think that can be arranged,” 
OoOoOoO
“Is there a reason you’re running a one-woman marathon, or are you just trying to make it impossible for Al to beat you this week?” Kelley’s voice cut through the running commentary in your head, and you blinked up at her from where she stood on the steps next to a big Chelsea market sign. 
You glanced down at the smartwatch on your wrist. You didn’t remember putting it on. It had become such a normal part of your morning routine that you didn’t think about putting it on anymore. You had honestly forgotten that Alex was getting alerts about your run until Kelley mentioned it. 
You tried not to think about the connection it had to your sister. You only paid attention to the stupid app when it alerted you that you were losing anyway. 
“Is that why you decided to join me?”
“I know you like the Chelsea market and running the high line,” Kelley said too casually, falling into step beside you. “I joined you because you and your sister only run long distances when something is bothering you, and I thought you would prefer me over Alex,”
You glanced at her, but she adamantly kept her eyes ahead of her. It felt purposeful like she didn’t want you to know she was watching you. 
You were very glad that Alex hadn’t decided to come herself, or that she had been talked out of it. 
“And you thought I’d want to talk,” 
Kelley shook her head. “No, but I do have a way with Morgan women, and I figured I’d support you,”
“Hmm,” You hummed, unable to stop the slight smile that cracked across your face. 
She would never let it go that she was basically your celebrity crush before you met her. You had been obsessed with college soccer when you were young, and Stanford had always been your favorite team. 
While things had changed significantly since her and your sister started dating (and you actually met her), she thought it was hilarious that both of you had been in love with her at some point. She also thought it was hilarious that she was you quote-unquote gay awakening, but you really didn’t like to think about that. 
You let out a long breath as the two of you jogged another few blocks, enjoying the sounds of the city around you. It was strange, but you already associated the city with Taylor. 
“There’s a girl that I really like,” You mumbled, as you both passed a dumpling stand. “I stayed the night,”
Kelley made a low sound next to you. They all knew you met up with someone, but no one knew exactly how that night turned out. And you staying was kind of unheard of. “And you two slept together?” 
You opened your mouth to answer but closed it quickly. Did it count if you never took your clothes off? Did it count if you didn’t let her touch you?
“You got her off like with the others?” Kelley amended, after a quick glance your way. 
“Yes. Then I stayed, and we cuddled,” You admitted, your voice going very soft. “All night,” 
You felt like you were in a weird dichotomy. Sex with Taylor was supposed to feel different because you felt so deeply for her. 
You thought it would because the before was so romantic. You thought it would because you wanted her like you had never wanted anyone before. 
But the act itself had felt… almost routine. It was like you were on autopilot. It was the same as it had been with every other girl you had been with. 
Her body responded the same way theirs had, and it had been so easy to get lost in your own head. 
It was only when she pulled you to her chest afterward. When she kissed your cheek and let you wash her hair before you got out of the bath. When she held you for the entire night, you ran your fingers down the line of her spine. 
It proved that she wasn’t like the others, and you let yourself enjoy the intimacy. It was why you stayed. 
She was still your friend. 
You spat the word in your mind. 
You didn’t want to end up in the no man’s land between friend and more than friend. Not again, the first time nearly ended in disaster, saved only by your mutual love of soccer and the goal of winning the World Cup.
You and Taylor didn’t share the same… uniting factor. 
And with the feelings bubbling in your chest, you knew you would never have the strength to walk away if that's what she asked of you. 
“So this is more than a one-nighter?” Kelley asked though she was already sure of the answer. 
“I think?” You nodded. “I’ve never…I don’t know how to do this, so I called Emily for advice,” 
Kelley’s nose scrunched. She knew how close you and the blonde defender were, especially since the two of you had been going to youth camps together since she could remember. She also knew that Emily knew more about the mysterious Taylor than she did. 
“This is the hypothetical friend that you didn’t think you were dating who had never had a burrito?” 
You hummed again, smiling at one of the dollar slice guys as you passed his little alcove. “I don't want to fuck this up, and I thought Emily would help. She didn’t,” 
“What did Emily say?” Kelley pushed. 
Your shoulders lifted and fell. “To just go with it,” 
Kelley couldn’t help her frown. That had to be the worst advice known to man, and Sonnett should have known. “So you slept with her, even when you weren’t sure you wanted to?”
“I wanted to,” You said, your voice going very soft. “I just…-“
You didn’t know how to explain that you got so caught up in your head that the experience felt like every other. That it was robotic and routine and expected. 
“It felt… generic…when I did it to her. It’s not supposed to be routine when I do it to her.” 
Kelley caught your arm and pulled you to a stop. 
“Sex isn’t something you do to someone. It’s something you do with them,” She said seriously, brown eyes boring into yours like she was trying to read your mind. “It’s a mutual activity,” 
It was a terrifying prospect that you didn’t know that, and it sent red flags twirling in Kelley’s head, especially when you shrugged it off. 
“I like her, so it was supposed to feel different,” You muttered, pulling your arm out of her grasp when the crosswalk sign came on. 
It was supposed to be emotional and you were supposed to feel connected. You should have been so hyper-focused on every movement, every twitch of her body that the world faded into nonexistence. 
You shouldn’t have had to stop yourself from running through lineups in your head halfway through. You shouldn’t have felt like the only important part of the experience was the finish. 
What the fuck was wrong with you?
She sighed but followed after you as you jogged across the street. “And it didn’t?”
“Before did,” You said, keeping your eyes focused on the sidewalk in front of you. “And so did after,” 
“But the middle?” She asked. 
You shook your head, unwilling to put into words that you were too defective for it to be anything more than a quick fuck. 
Taylor deserved better, especially since the way she held you made you feel so… safe. The way she cuddled into you made you feel loved. More loved than your tongue could ever make her feel. 
“And that freaked you out?” Kelley asked, as you finally slowed your jog to a walk. 
You scratched the back of your neck, noting the annoying way your hair rubbed against the skin there. You really needed to get it cut. 
It wasn’t the connection that freaked you out, it was the prospect that you could now lose it. That you were fumbling around with no clue how to move forward, liable to fuck up something that had just started. 
You weren’t even sure if it was something. You had no clue where you stood. 
She looked at you like you weren’t a broken toy, and one misstep could prove her wrong and send her running. 
“I don’t know how to do this. It’s why I avoided sleeping with her in the first place. I was doing the friend thing well, and now… I have no idea what’s next,” You murmured, barely above a whisper. So quietly that you weren’t sure if Kelley heard you until her hand found your arm and gently pulled you to a stop yet again. 
“I think we can agree that Emily’s advice wasn’t great,” She started, making eye contact with you, and squeezing your arm gently. “I think what you should focus on are the things you do like to do with this girl. Do those take slow steps, and communicate with her. It’s a relationship, not a race,” 
“Slow steps,” You repeated, turning the words over in your mind. 
“Yes, and communication about what you like or don’t like and what you want or don’t want. Figuring out if you’re friends or more than friends would be a good place to start too,” The defender reiterated with a nod, emphasizing the back half of her sentence. 
She knew how much of a people pleaser you were, and how often you set aside your own feelings to make other people happy. If it happened with simple things like you refusing to stop Emily, Rose, and Lindsey’s teasing when it became too much because they were “still having fun” then she feared what other things you were willing to let go. 
You swallowed hard and matched her nod. 
You could do slow steps. 
You ran a hand through your sweaty hair, glancing around you. At least your slight crisis had landed you in Mulberry Street. 
“Do you wanna grab a snack before I head back? I told her I would bring her something for lunch after team recovery,” You asked, gesturing towards one of the many Italian restaurants surrounding you. 
Kelley raised an eyebrow at you. “You told this girl that you had training the day after a game and she believed you?” 
“I don’t think she knows that much about footy,” You shrugged. “She’s more of an American football fan,” 
Even if Taylor had played when she was young, you knew her knowledge was pretty limited. 
Kelley cracked a smile at you and nodded toward the restaurant you had pointed out. “As long as she’s not an Eagles fan, we’ll be fine then,”
You made a low sound of agreement knowing Kelley wasn’t as serious about Football teams as she was about premier league teams. Her main concern was that you were treated well after all anyway. 
OoOoOoO
You had calmed down significantly by the time you made it back to Taylor’s apartment, but Kelley had always had that effect on you. 
She had been the one who helped you breathe before your first cap (along with Alex, though you hated talking about it). She was the one who talked you down after you tore your Achilles during the World Cup. 
She always knew exactly what to say, and this was no different. She made you laugh and slipped in little pieces of advice without forcing you to ruminate on the situation. She made you believe that you could talk to Taylor and it would work. 
And as you sat across from Taylor while she snacked on the penne à la vodka you had picked up for her, your confidence didn’t waver. 
Kelley swore it would only take 5 seconds of bravery. 
“Are we dating now?”
Taylor paused, chewing her bite and swallowing as a perfect eyebrow arched in amusement. “Do you want us to be dating?”
You frowned, you hadn’t been expecting a question back. You thought it would be just a simple yes or no. 
“I think so,” You said slowly, meeting her eyes.  “I don’t know how to date,”
Her head cocked to the side. “You’ve never dated?” 
“Not really,” You shook your head, scratching the newly shortened hair at the back of your neck. “Besides a weird situationship, it’s all been one-nighters, so I’m not sure how any of this is supposed to work,” 
Taylor put her fork down, and she leaned a little closer to you, frowning. “Hold on, your realest relationship was a situationship?” 
“Yes,” You said sheepishly, your fingers digging more harshly into the back of your neck as you felt heat crawl up your cheeks all the way to your ears. 
“Why?”
It was asked with a giggle, but it didn’t rub you the wrong way. Taylor wasn’t making fun of you. 
You cleared your throat, eyes flickering away from her and back. “She was straight, and one of my friends,” 
It was a hard thing to admit, that you had fallen into a friends-with-benefits relationship with one of your closest friends, and that you hadn’t been able to keep your feelings locked away in a little box. You let things go too far. You let yourself believe that your favorite striker would leave her perfect boyfriend. 
You let yourself believe that she would return your feelings and pick you. 
She didn’t, and you had sworn off relationships after that. 
Why would you get involved when everyone always left?
“We were under a lot of pressure in the U20s and it was a good way to blow off steam,” You continued, your voice going soft. “Things just… went too far and ended messily,”
“Situationships usually do,” Taylor said gently, reaching across the island to place a careful hand on your arm. 
“We stayed friends though. We had to, because of the team” You murmured. “Eventually I just got over it,” 
Taylor hummed, her thumb lingering on a thick scar on the inside of your elbow. 
It seemed to her that a lot of your stories ended with you just getting over things. She wondered if you ever actually processed them, or if you just enjoyed pretending it never happened. 
“And now we link up really well,” You finished with a shrug, an easy smile returning to your features. “Anyway, back to the question. Are we dating?” 
Taylor felt her lips tilt up in return. “Again I’ll ask, do you want to be?”
“We’re going in circles,” You sighed, dragging your hand from the back of your neck up through your newly trimmed curls, thankful Kelley had stopped with you to get it cut on the way back to Taylor’s apartment. 
Taylor rolled her eyes. “Just answer the question,” 
Your nose scrunched. Had you not just explained that you didn’t know how to date? You didn’t even know what it entailed. 
How would things change? What would she expect? 
But she was looking at you with so much softness, so much… understanding. It made something tug in your chest. 
If you were going to try dating anyone, you wanted it to be her. 
“Yes,” You breathed out, fighting to keep your voice even and steady. 
“Then we’re dating,” Taylor shrugged, picking up her fork. “Easy,” 
“Easy,” You mimicked, trying to ignore Emily’s voice ringing in your head. 
It didn’t have to be complicated. 
416 notes · View notes
ribb6ns · 8 months
Text
delicate
pairing: taylor swift x fem!reader
word count: 1191
warnings: angst (kind of?), comfort
summary: you knew what you were in for when you started dating the world-renowned pop-star, but you'd underestimated the feeling of inferiority that would come with it.
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No matter how hard you'd tried to, you couldn't ignore the uneasy feeling that had settled in your stomach over the past few weeks.
You had always prided yourself for your laid-back nature, but as of lately, you'd been feeling neglected. The millions of people thirsting over your girlfriend wasn't doing you any favors either.
You'd known what to expect, dating a world-renowned popstar. You'd known what being in a relationship with her came with. Rest assured, she'd always made clear that she was no better than you in any way, but that was hard to believe when she was earning millions a night whilst you were rotting away in your bedroom, watching another rerun of Gilmore Girls.
You knew you shouldn't be. You should've been happier by now. Healthier. When you'd first started dating Taylor, you felt at the top of the world. But even then, the slight feeling of inferiority crept in. You'd never say anything about it. How could you? And even if you did, what could she do about it? You knew she wasn't about the end her entire career for you, and you didn't expect her to. There was no balance in your relationship, no matter how hard you tried. You'd always the the inferior one, the weaker one, the mundane one.
Which was exactly why you hadn't made your relationship with her public. The backlash would've been ruthless, and you couldn't put Taylor through that. You'd been the one to make that decision, but the way she'd agreed to it just a little too excitedly still lingered in the back of your mind.
No.
You weren't doing this again.
With a reluctant groan, you slipped out of your bedsheets and drew open the blinds. You were immediately met with the sun's unwelcoming gaze.
You stumbled back, just managing to catch yourself on the corner of your bedside table. The sharp corner jabbed into your skin, pain shooting up your bone.
A small wince escaped your throat as you instinctively jumped away. You could feel the blood pooling around your wound, but you couldn't bother to clean it up. It's not like there was anyone around to impress, anyways.
You could practically hear Taylor gently admonishing you inside your head. Handling you like you were going to break at any second.
You cringed at the thought, pushing it to the back of your mind. Instead, you directed your attention to Meredith.
"What shall we do today, hm?" you asked, sliding open your closet door. "Go to the mall? Go on a run?"
You swiveled around, only to be met with an unamused set of blue eyes.
"Come on, Mere," you groaned. "You're really not helping here at all."
Instead of acknowledging you, she chose to march off instead, leaving you to decide on today's activities by yourself.
A ping! noise vibrated off your phone, distracting you from the incredibly difficult task of choosing an outfit to wear today. Your eyes lit up at the sight of the name on your screen.
Taylor: Hey babe, I'll probably be here in around ten minutes. Can't wait to see you!
Your brows furrowed, confusion overtaking your features. It was only until you spotted the date on your lockscreen that you finally remembered.
"Shit," you groaned.
You'd forgotten that your girlfriend was coming back home today.
-
After what seemed like hours of mindless panicking, you'd finally managed to calm down. You'd gotten the blood off the nightstand, and had managed to tidy up the bedroom. All you had to do now was wait.
You'd changed into a floral sundress and had done your skincare for what was probably the first time in months. You'd quickly whipped up a batch of cookies, which were baking in the oven. For someone who was spiraling just an hour ago, you cleaned up pretty nice. You were just hoping that your girlfriend would fall for the illusion.
Just as it seemed like she was never coming, the door creaked open. Your eyes widening in excitement, you ran towards the entrance, a smile plastered on your face.
"Taylor!" you yelled, embracing your girlfriend in a tight hug. The blonde popstar laughed, placing down her bags.
"Hey, baby girl," she said, kissing you on the forehead.
"I missed you," you whispered, practically melting into her.
"I missed you too, baby, so much."
Finally, you pulled away, watching as Taylor got settled back in.
"How long are you staying for?" you quipped.
She sighed, hanging her coat by the doorway. "Just for a few days. I have to be in Los Angeles soon."
You tried your best to hide the disappointment in your voice. "Oh. Well, it's great to have you back."
Taylor barely acknowledged your comment, instead turning towards the oven.
"Oh! You're making cookies," she exclaimed in delight. "Can't wait to try them."
You gave her a small smile, before following her up to your bedroom suite.
You're like a lost puppy.
You grimaced at the voice in your head, the same voice that had haunted every dream of yours for the past few months. You'd tried to shrug it off at first, but the more you tried to ignore it, the louder it got.
"Babe? Are you listening?"
Taylor's voice jolted you out of your train of thought, her cerulean eyes boring into yours.
"Yeah," you answered shakily, forcing a smile back onto your face.
You could practically feel the atmosphere drop. The look in your girlfriend's eyes told you everything you needed to know.
"Y/N..."
"I'm fine," you snapped, turning away from her. You couldn't bear to look her in the eyes right now. You couldn't face the same soft-spoken words, the way she'd coerce you into her arms again.
"You're not fine. What happened, baby?"
You hated it. You hated when she talked to you like this. You didn't know why this was such a trigger for you, but you knew that you didn't like it.
Yet then again, it was exactly what you needed. A push. You'd been growing distant, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Taylor. She had only come back for one reason, after all.
"You can tell me. I'm here to listen."
That was the final nail in the coffin. You could feel the tears burning in the back of your eyes, the red flush returning to your cheeks.
"I just missed you, that's all," you rasped, but even you didn't believe yourself this time.
You could feel Taylor's fingers glide over your jaw, gently forcing it upwards so that you were facing her.
"I love you," she husked. "You know that, right?"
The silence that followed confirmed her suspicions.
"Oh, baby girl," she sighed, her hand finding it's way around the back of your head. She pulled you closer, your face just inches above her breasts. "You can let go. I'm here."
With a final, shaky breath, you relented, letting go of your body. Taylor led you towards the bed, pulling you up onto her lap.
"Everything's going to be okay," she murmured, running her fingers through your hair.
And just for one moment, with your head on her lap and her calloused hands delicately caressing your skin, you truly did believe her.
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moonflowerdamie · 7 months
Text
all of you, all of me (intertwined)
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Word Count: 2.4k
Title from 'Daylight' by Taylor Swift.
Based on a request from Anonymous.
*****
Losing the World Cup sucks. It really fucking sucks.
The Spanish players deserve it, of course—they were the better team, when it came down to it—and you’re glad to see them celebrate after so many months of turmoil and internal conflict, but it still feels like a punch in the gut when the second place medal is draped around your neck.
The days afterward are full of tears and regret, consolation and half-hearted pep talks that only end up making everyone feel a little worse. Sarina tries her best of course, but even she is struggling with the defeat; it’s evident in her eyes, just a little dimmer than they were before.
Lucy takes it harder than the rest of you. She feels like it was her fault, like the goal (which, admittedly, still stings to think about) could have been prevented if she hadn’t tried to make that run through the middle. She’s completely wrong, of course: it’s nobody’s fault, and it’s everybody’s fault and at the end of the day, it just really does not matter. You lost. Spain won. Nothing to do now but pick up the pieces and move on as best you all can.
Pretty much everyone has a good old cry about it before you leave—Alessia and Mary both come to you separately, sniffling and teary-eyed, looking for a pair of friendly arms to hold them for a while, and you in turn go to Esme for some comfort. It’s nice, the tall blonde defender rubbing your back and murmuring reassurances, but it’s not what you really want.
What you want is Taylor.
Unfortunately for you, your girlfriend is all the way on the other side of the world, starting the international leg of her tour. You couldn’t be prouder of her, truly; you’ve told her as much almost annoyingly often, always met with a bashful smile and a blush from the woman you love.
But, selfishly, you wish she wasn’t so far away. All you want is to curl up in bed with her, have her stroke your hair and sing to you. You wish that she was the one comforting you (no offence to Esme, of course), the one telling you what a great job you’d done. You wish it so much you ache with it.
God, you miss her. It’s been almost 2 months since you saw her in person, the longest you’ve been apart since you started dating 3 years ago, and you miss her so goddamn much it hurts. You miss her eyes and her touch, the way she smiles when you say something silly. You miss the way her nose scrunches when you kiss her forehead, how she laughs, how she looks at you with so much adoration that you feel like melting.
There have been texts exchanged and brief FaceTimes before bed (either for you or for her, time difference is a bitch), but the both of you have been so busy, you with the World Cup and her with the tour, that contact has been sporadic and short. She’d texted you after the final, a quick ‘I’m so sorry darling, you played amazingly and I’m so proud of you’, but you haven’t heard from her since. You understand why: she’s the biggest popstar in the world, performing her record-breaking worldwide tour. She doesn’t have the time to be on her phone 24/7.
You just wish you could see her. Most of all, that’s what you want—to see her, be back in her presence again.
And then it hits you: you can.
*****
You split off from the other Lionesses at the airport, hugging everybody goodbye and wishing them all a safe flight home. Ella gives you a slap on the back as you turn to leave—
“Go get your missus!”
—she yells, and you grin wide and toothy as you start walking to your gate.
*****
Andrea meets you at the airport when you finally land in Mexico. You’re exhausted—losing a World Cup final and then almost 24 hours of travel will do that to a person—so when she hugs you in greeting you can’t help but sink into it a little. She always did give the best hugs.
“Oh, it’s so wonderful that you’re here, dear.” She says quietly, squeezing you once before letting go. You smile. Andrea had been overjoyed when you’d informed her of your plan on the phone a couple days ago, and you can see her excitement shining in her face as you start walking to her car.
“She doesn’t know?” You ask as you exit the terminal and she shakes her head. You hadn’t told Taylor you were coming, wanting to surprise her.
“Not a clue. She’s at the stadium now, so you can drop your things at her hotel and rest a little before the show tonight.” You sigh gratefully—you really are shattered, and a nap sounds like heaven.
Once you reach the hotel, you pretty much immediately collapse onto the bed. Sydney to San Francisco to Mexico City is one hell of a journey, and you can feel the long hours on the plane settling in your body like a stone dropped in water.
The room is nice enough, but it’s the hints of your girlfriend you can see scattered around that make it immediately worth the long journey—a bottle of her nail polish on the bedside table, one of her hoodies slung over the back of a chair, and when you press your face into the pillow, the familiar scent of her shampoo hits you and envelopes you like warm blanket. You smile and close your eyes.
Just a few more hours, my love.
*****
You’ve seen Taylor perform countless times over the years you’ve known each other. On tour, on late night shows, in her living room at 2 AM. Always, you’re astounded at her voice, her stage presence, the force that she is and the space she takes up. It’s a miracle to witness every single time you get the privilege to see her so in her own element.
This time, however, takes your breath away like never before.
She’s radiant on the stage, a shining sun you feel blessed to gaze upon, and the passion she puts into every single song makes you feel like you’re part of something entirely bigger than yourself. She looks gorgeous in every outfit, hits every note and every beat, and more than anything, she looks happy.
And maybe it’s the months apart, or maybe it’s simply her, but you feel like you’re walking amongst the stars watching her, a meteor passing by your wondering eyes. It feels like falling in love all over again, and it feels like flying. She performs ‘Sweet Nothing’ as a surprise song and you feel your breath catch in your chest. You’re mesmerised, and by the end of her set, you sort of feel like crying, in all the best ways.
Andrea takes you to her dressing room once the fans start pouring out of the stadium, assuring you that Taylor will be there once she’s done thanking all the crew, before ducking back out with a wink.
Nerves take over just a little as you wait for her to arrive and it makes you laugh to yourself—3 years of dating and she still makes you feel like a schoolgirl with a crush, still gives you butterflies.
Time passes like treacle drops—that is to say, extremely slowly. You’re beyond excited to see her, and every little noise from outside the dressing room door makes your head snap up and your knee shake. You’re full to bursting with wanting and longing and loving that when she finally does open that door, you’re on your feet before she can even blink.
You see the shock in her hanging jaw, her wide eyes and you laugh shakily, tears springing to your eyes at the sight of her, in the flesh, after so long apart.
“Hi, sweetheart.” You say, barely louder than a whisper, and she’s in your arms before you even finish your sentence.
Her embrace feels so strongly like home that you can’t help but let yourself cry a little. Taylor’s crying too, you think, as she buries her face in your neck and you hold her close, shaking as she folds herself into you. It feels like something clicking into place in your chest as she fits herself into your arms, as you sway her back and forth, closing your eyes and thanking a god you don’t even believe in for this moment.
She draws back after a while to look you in the eyes but she stays in the circle of your arms, dropping to rest around her waist. Her hands come up and hold your face as gentle as glass and you grin at her. God, you’d missed those blue eyes of hers.
“When—how—what are you doing here?” She finally settles on, stroking her thumbs over your cheeks. You giggle at her incredulity.
“I flew in from Sydney, got here a few hours before the show. I…” you trail off, still breathless at the sight of her, still taking her in, “I missed you.”
The smile that ruined you for all others spreads across her face and she huffs out a little laugh. She shakes her head, staring at you with amazement sparkling in her eyes before leaning in to press her forehead to yours.
“I missed you too, baby. Missed you so much.”
When she kisses you, you all but melt in her arms. It’s deep and long, her lips capturing yours with a tender vigour that leaves you absolutely starstruck. Her thumb rubs against your jawline, other hand sliding down to rest on your shoulder as she presses in closer and steals the breath from your lungs. Take it, you almost want to say. Take it all. All I have is yours. All I am is yours.
You pull back after a few stretching moments, panting and love-stung and joyously happy. Taylor looks like a goddess, like all your brightest dreams made flesh, and you sigh, nose brushing hers.
“I love you so much.” She murmurs and you smile. She moves her hand to press against your chest, resting above your heart.
“I love you more, superstar.”
*****
Once Taylor is finished in the dressing room (which takes quite a bit of time given that the two of you keep falling back into each other, into long kisses and quiet hugs, drawn by each other’s gravity), the two of you exit the stadium to find her parents waiting by the car. You and Scott exchange warm greetings whilst Andrea hugs her daughter. With pleasantries exchanged, you all buckle in and Scott starts driving to the nearest and most low-key restaurant in the area.
Over some truly exquisite food, the 4 of you talk for hours. You speak about the World Cup defeat, still fresh and painful. Though, you have to admit the sting is lessened when you’re sat next to the woman you love most in this world, her hand rubbing circles into your knee as she presses a kiss to your temple.
Taylor lights up when the conversation shifts to the show, and you can’t help but be transfixed by her as talks, smiling and gesturing and practically spilling over with excitement. She’s loving the tour, you knew she would, but to see the passion and the payoff in her eyes is a gift from above. You listen with a smile the worst of weather couldn’t wash away.
Before you know it, it’s nearly midnight and Andrea starts to yawn. Scott insists on paying the bill—though you fight him on it amicably—and they drive you and Taylor back to the hotel before bidding you goodnight and heading off.
The elevator ride and subsequent walk to Taylor’s room is comfortably silent, the both of you content and peaceful, but you feel the mood shift once the door closes behind you.
She’s on you in seconds, mouth seeking out your own as she presses you back against the wall, hands searching out any bit of skin they can find. You respond in kind, equally as keyed up as she appears to be, gripping at her hips and pulling her into you, biting her bottom lip and smiling when she groans.
Your hands slide up the front of her sweatshirt, fingers skating over her ribs as her tongue slips into your mouth. You’re kissing hot and desperate now, the both of you breathing heavily and pushing against each other like you just can’t get close enough.
“Bed.” She murmurs against your lips, nails scratching deliciously at the back of your neck. “Bed, now.”
You comply almost mindlessly, walking the both of you back towards the bed as you continue to kiss furiously until her knees hit the edge of the mattress. Before she can fall onto it, she pulls away from your lips and turns you around, shoving you backwards so that you topple onto the bed. She follows close behind, climbing onto your lap, legs straddling your hips.
Your stomach drops hotly as she settles on your lap, hands grasping for her waist as she starts a slow grind against you. You feel like you’re on fire, burning up with the need to feel her, to touch her, to claim her again after far too long.
Taylor gasps when you attach your lips to her neck, sucking and kissing at the skin before biting down, hard, the way she likes it. She moans, her hips bucking against your stomach. There’ll be a mark come morning, and a dark little voice in your head cackles with glee—you want to mark her, to sink your teeth in until the skin is red and bruised, to show the world she’s yours.
“Baby…fuck…” she trails off when you bite her again, lower this time, and her hand tangles in your hair, pulling a little, “Fuck, I missed you.” She breathes, pulling you back so she can look you in the eye. You grin up at her, and you must look thoroughly ruined. It’s how you feel, after all. Wreck, ruin, mess. She looks it too, eyes darkened and pupils blown, chest heaving, lips kiss bruised and bitten red.
“I missed you too, love.”
Taylor smirks, hand tightening in your hair to the point of delightful pain as you groan at the feeling.
“Show me how much.” She demands.
And who are you to say no?
*****
A/N: Wow I LOVED writing this! Literally obsessed with Taylor, so glad I could write for her! Hope you all enjoyed it :)
714 notes · View notes
dawnoftime22 · 3 months
Text
coughing fit.
| T.S
Warnings: being sick, sore throat, medicine, hesitating to eat medicine
Summary: Waking up in the middle of the night with a coughing fit isn't always fun, but when you realise you have Taylor beside you, it turns out to not be awful.
Word Count: 1k
Category: Fluff!
A/N: sorry if it doesn't really make sense? but I tried my best. oh! and if anyone else is sick, I suggest hot lemonade <3
| Started on 30/10/2023, 5:53 AM |
| Finished on 30/12/2023, 12:07 PM |
Masterlist | T.S Masterlist
“I'll be here, no matter what.”
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|——————————— ⸆⸉ ———————————|
Somewhere in the middle of the night, you wake up with a coughing fit, making Taylor wake up from her sleep.
She turns to check on you, and sees your shaking body from the coughs reverbrating through your bones. She moves closer and her hand goes to pat your back in reassurance while her face grew with concern. Even though her mind was filled with sleep, she's trying to keep it awake and all focused on you.
Taylor sits up a bit more, her eyes fully open now. She frowns when she kept hearing you cough, it not ending, it seems.
She rubs her hand on your back instead, her other one going off to grab the cup of water on the bedside table prepared last night.
She waited until you calmed down slightly and then put the glass in your hands. You sip it at first, then drink more. Feeling the need to cough once more though, had made you pull the glass away, careful not to let the water spill out from your shaking of coughs.
"Slowly, baby." She worriedly places her hand on your back again, her other one going to hold your drink. Your coughs seemingly slowing down to a stop. Or at least, for about fifteen seconds.
"Are you okay?" She asks, her hand on your back moving up to tuck a strand of hair away from your face and behind your ear. You didn't answer her yet, until you took a deep breath in and let out, and yet another cough came out.
You sigh and let your shoulders drop in defeat, leaning to lay tiredly against her chest. Her heart ached at the sight of seeing you so vulnerable.
"Shh..." She runs her fingers along your hair, soothing you while you tried to breathe through the coughs. She held you gently, her chest rising and falling in sync with yours. "It's okay. Just take deep breaths and let it pass."
A few seconds go by without one, until that awful sound of a cough came back. Her mind searched for something that could help you. She could hold you all the way through, but that would be painfully slow when she knows there could be something to relieve you. With it being the middle of the night, her brain was a little slow, but then she remembered.
"Oh, baby, you need medicine." Her voice was soft, and full of concern. She felt the vibrations of your coughs going through your whole body on her chest.
"Stay here, okay?" Taylor was about to get out of bed, but not before an inch that she'd move, you had tightened your grip on her gently, a clear sign that you didn't want her to go.
"It will only be for a second, I swear." She assures you, causing to loosen your hold on her slightly. She gently picks up your hands and puts it down in your lap while you pouted adorably. She pouted back just as adorably, her heart melting for you.
She got out of the bed and walked out of the room, leaving you alone. After just a few seconds though, she got back with medicine in her hand and two mugs in the other.
"Okay, here. You'll feel better when you take it." You grimaced at even the thought of swallowing the medicine or even looking at it, but when Taylor raised her eyebrows, you knew there was no getting out of it. And, you would only cough even more if you didn't take it.
The blonde sat back down next to you and prepared the necessities, such as opening the lid, making sure the cup of water was near in case you needed it, and that she had a spoon.
She poured the liquid onto a spoon, careful not to let it drip down. Hovering the filled spoon over her open palm, she waits for you to open your mouth.
You hesitate, but manage to open your mouth, and surprisingly, you haven't coughed in a bit, but that might be your nervousness showing.
Taylor puts the spoon in your mouth and you keep it for a few seconds before swallowing easily going down your throat. You reached out your hands towards the glass of water, and she gave it to you, wanting to wash down the bitter taste.
"Now if we get some sleep, I'm sure you'll be better in no time." She says, giving you a soft smile as she heard no cough anymore. Or, right now, anyway.
"I got you some hot lemonade too, if you really need it." She points at the bedside table behind her, leaning to the side to reveal the glass filled with the warm beverage. You smile at her thoughtful gesture.
"Th-" You cough once more, covering it up in your arm so the germs don't go anywhere but there.
"Thank you...--" She puts her single finger on your lips gently, looking at you softly and shushing you. A smile grew on both of your faces at the interruption, your heart warming at how gentle she was with you.
"Don't talk darling, you'll cough more." She grabs the mugs, one for her and you. Even though she didn't really need it, nothing could go wrong with that. It's always lovely to have hot liquid running down your throat, especially at a time like this.
You take the mug she offers you, and take a sip of it after blowing on it for a few seconds. The lemonade traveling from your tongue down to your throat, soothing everything in its path.
A few minutes pass with a little more quietness, and she was glad it managed to help your throat calm down on you. As your cup started to empty out, and your eyes started to get heavy, supposedly from the warmth, too, you hand her back your mug, to which she places back on the bedside table.
Leaning back against her body, you close your eyes, with her holding you safely and the dose of medicine would be putting you back to sleep quicker than usual. She stays awake for a while more to make sure you've really fallen asleep, taking sips of her own warm lemonade as her other hand gently goes through your hair.
------------------
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herlondonboy · 9 months
Text
I Can See You
pairings: Taylor Swift x gn!reader
summary: a hallway romance with Taylor Swift on the set of Valentine’s Day idk what else to say
warnings: it’s mostly just you and Taylor making out tbh, doesn’t really follow the song greatly idk. Probably spelling mistakes
word count: 2.2k
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You can see her.
You can always see her. She does it on purpose. Flaunts herself in ways that only you would be able to notice. Whether it be the way she flips her hair or how her hips sway whilst she’s walking.
You watch Taylor from across the hall, completely captivated by her every move. The way she carries herself with confidence and grace mesmerizes you. It's in these stolen moments of observation that you realize your heart has been claimed by her.
Your joy knows no bounds when you remember that you and Taylor are in a secret relationship, even if it means keeping it hidden from the world. The thrill of knowing that your connection is something special, something intimate, fills your heart with warmth.
As you pass by Taylor you carefully slip a folded note into her pocket, your hand trembling with excitement. The note simply reads, "meet me at midnight. you know where."
The thought of meeting Taylor in the secrecy of night sends a rush of anticipation through your veins. You both share the knowledge of that special place, the secret hallway where your romance blossoms. It's a place where you can be yourselves, away from prying eyes and judgment.
With each passing moment, your excitement builds, wondering if Taylor will find the note and accept your invitation. The thought of being in her arms, even if just for a stolen moment, makes your heart flutter with anticipation.
As the clock strikes midnight, you find yourself standing in the familiar secret hallway. The dim lighting casts an ethereal glow, setting the stage for a clandestine meeting. Every second feels like an eternity, until finally, you hear the soft sound of footsteps approaching.
And there she is, Taylor, standing before you, her eyes filled with the same longing and excitement that you feel. In that moment, the world around you fades away, and it's just the two of you, wrapped in the warmth of your secret love.
The weight of the formal attire lingers on your shoulders, but the sight of Taylor entering the hallway brings a spark of joy to your weary heart.
As she approaches, a tender smile graces Taylor’s lips. “You’ve been looking quite dapper today,” she says, her voice filled with admiration. “But let me fix that tie for you.”
You stand still, grateful for her presence and the touch of her gentle hands. Taylor steps closer, her fingers delicately adjusting the knot of your tie, her eyes locked with yours.
“There we go,” she says, her voice a soft whisper. “Now, you’re perfect.”
The intimate gesture fills your heart with warmth, and you can’t help but reach out, placing a hand on Taylor’s cheek. “Thank you,” you say, your voice filled with gratitude. “You always know how to make everything better.”
She smiles, her eyes filled with affection. “It’s my pleasure,” she replies, her voice carrying a hint of tenderness.
As you embrace, you savour the sweetness of this hidden connection, cherishing the stolen moments and the magic they bring. In this secret hallway, your love can thrive, untouched by the outside world.
“I missed you,” you whispered into her neck.
Taylor giggled at your words. “We saw each other an hour ago.”
“So?” You ask as you break away so you can rest your back against the opposite wall.
Taylor's gaze meets yours from across the hall, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Without a moment's hesitation, she strides purposefully toward you, her steps filled with determination. In an instant, she presses you against the wall, her lips crashing into yours with a passionate intensity.
Your heart pounds in your chest as the world around you fades away. The feeling of her touch, the taste of her kiss, ignites a fire within you. The hidden hallway seems to shrink, encompassing only the two of you in this stolen moment of desire.
But just as the heat of the moment reaches its peak, a sound in the distance catches your attention. A faint rustling, an indication that someone may be approaching. Reluctantly, Taylor breaks the kiss, her eyes filled with a mixture of longing and caution.
“What if it’s your parents?” You ask in a whisper.
Taylor shushes you. “It’s late, they’ll be asleep.”
The air crackles with anticipation as you both catch your breath, your bodies still pressed against each other. The possibility of being caught heightens the intensity of the moment, the risk making it all the more exhilarating.
With a shared understanding, you exchange a knowing glance, silently acknowledging the need for caution. This secret love affair, although thrilling, carries the weight of secrecy. In this fleeting moment, you must retreat, allowing the world to return to its unaware state.
Reluctantly, you disentangle yourselves, stepping back from the wall. The hallway regains its anonymity, concealing the passion that sparked between you. But the electricity lingers, a reminder of the hidden love that continues to thrive within the shadows.
“Taylor,” You call out last minute, making her turn to you. “I love you.”
The blonde grins at you. “I love you too, baby.”
As you part ways, your eyes lock for a brief moment, filled with unspoken promises. The secret hallway will always be your refuge, a place where your love can flourish away from prying eyes. And until the next stolen moment, you carry the taste of her kiss and the memory of her touch, fueling your desire until you can meet again.
And as the night unfolds, you know that no matter how hidden your romance may be, the love you share with Taylor is a treasure worth protecting. In the silence of the secret hallway, your hearts beat as one, bound by the strength of a love that can withstand any obstacle.
You can't resist the overwhelming desire that consumes you after that stolen, passionate kiss with Taylor. The need for more, for deeper connection, drives you to take a daring step. Under the cover of darkness, you find yourself sneaking into Taylor's trailer.
Heart pounding, you carefully navigate through the quiet film set, making sure not to draw attention to your covert mission. The anticipation mounts with every step, your mind filled with visions of what lies ahead.
As you enter Taylor's trailer, the familiar scent of her lingers in the air, intensifying your longing. The space feels intimate, a reflection of the private moments you've shared. You search for her, your heart racing with both excitement and apprehension.
Finally, you find her, sitting near the vanity, engrossed in her own thoughts. You approach silently, taking a moment to appreciate the beauty and vulnerability she exudes in this private sanctuary. Her presence fills the room with an intoxicating energy.
Without a word, you reach out, gently tracing your fingers along her cheek, eliciting a shiver of anticipation. Taylor's eyes meet yours, and a knowing smile dances on her lips. The unspoken connection between you deepens, an invisible thread that binds your souls.
Time seems to stand still as you draw closer, your bodies gravitating toward one another. The air crackles with electric anticipation as your lips meet once more, this time with a hunger that surpasses any previous encounter. The world outside fades away as you immerse yourselves in this stolen moment of pure passion.
Your heart races as you feel the soft touch of Taylor's lips against yours, igniting a wildfire of desire within you. The sound of footsteps drawing near becomes a distant echo, drowned out by the intensity of the moment. In this private haven, where it's just the two of you, nothing else matters.
You cling to Taylor, your bodies pressed close, unwilling to let go. The urgency of your connection overrides any sense of caution. Time seems suspended as you savour the taste of her kiss, the warmth of her embrace, relishing this stolen moment.
Despite the approaching footsteps growing louder, you choose to stay, to revel in this private bubble you've created. The outside world becomes a mere backdrop to your shared passion, a distant murmur that fails to intrude upon your sanctuary.
With each passing second, your desire deepens, and the embrace intensifies. The urgency of the situation only heightens the sensations, as if the risk itself adds fuel to the flames of your love.
Finally, as the approaching sound reaches its peak, reality crashes back with a jolt. You reluctantly break away, breathless and longing for more, knowing that discretion is crucial to preserving the secret of your love.
But as you catch your breath and lock eyes with Taylor, there is an unspoken understanding. The connection you share is too powerful to be confined by the constraints of the outside world. In this private moment, your love feels unbreakable, invincible.
As you part, the sound of footsteps retreats, and the world outside your embrace falls back into focus. But the memory of that stolen kiss lingers, a reminder of the passion you share, a secret flame that burns brightly within you both.
In this private haven, you find solace, knowing that no matter the obstacles or the risk, your love for Taylor is worth every moment of clandestine bliss. And as you walk away, the anticipation of your next stolen encounter fuels your spirits, ready to face the world until you can be together again, in the secrecy of your love's embrace.
With a final, lingering glance, you retreat from Taylor's trailer, leaving behind the traces of your stolen intimacy. The taste of her kiss, the touch of her skin, remains etched in your memory, fueling your desire until the next illicit affair.
As you step back into the world, you carry the weight of this secret love affair, the knowledge of what lies between you and Taylor. The thrill of these stolen moments intertwines with the ache for something more. For now, the secret hallway and the hidden moments continue to be the stage for your passionate connection, an enigmatic romance that dances on the edge of discovery.
-
You and Taylor had been cautious about your secret relationship, trying to keep your emotions under wraps on the set of your film. But it seemed that your cast mates had become more observant than you anticipated.
One day, as you and Taylor shared a subtle exchange of glances during a break, you noticed a mischievous smile pass between Emma, one of your co-stars, and Carter, another cast member. Their knowing looks spoke volumes, making you realize that they had been keeping a watchful eye on the two of you.
As the days went by, more instances occurred that hinted at your cast mates' suspicions. They would drop playful hints or make comments that seemed innocent to others but held deeper meaning for you and Taylor. The whispered gossip behind closed doors became more frequent, making it clear that your secret wasn't as hidden as you had hoped.
Faced with this newfound awareness, you and Taylor held a private meeting in the secret hallway, where your love had blossomed. The dim lighting and the familiarity of the space offered solace and comfort as you discussed the situation.
“We can't deny that they're onto us," Taylor admitted, a mix of concern and determination in her eyes. "Our secret isn't as secret as we thought."
You nodded, understanding the need for caution. "It's better to be safe than sorry," you replied softly. "We have to be more careful, even if it means not revealing our relationship to anyone. Quieter.”
Taylor sighed, her fingers intertwining with yours. "I wish we could shout our love from the rooftops, but I agree. For now, we have to protect what we have."
The decision weighed heavily on your hearts, but you knew it was necessary to safeguard your love and maintain a harmonious work environment. The secret hallway, once a place of passionate rendezvous, now became a haven where you strategized and found strength together.
From that day forward, you and Taylor became masters of subtlety. You kept your interactions on set professional, always aware of prying eyes and listening ears. Any longing glances or stolen touches were hidden beneath a façade of friendship, allowing your love to simmer beneath the surface.
It was a challenging task, suppressing your emotions and refraining from displaying your affection openly. But in the quiet moments when you were alone, you found solace in each other's arms, cherishing the stolen moments that only the secret hallway could offer.
As time passed, your cast mates' suspicions seemed to fade, their attention shifting to other matters. The initial intensity of their curiosity waned, leaving you and Taylor with a sense of relief. Yet, you remained vigilant, knowing that the eyes of others were still watchful, even if less openly.
In the end, your secret relationship became a testament to the strength of your connection. It proved that love could thrive even in the most hidden corners, and that the power of shared secrets could strengthen your bond.
And while you yearned for a time when you could openly share your love, you found solace in the whispered exchanges and stolen moments that continued to fuel your passion. The secret hallway, with all its memories and the love it held, became a symbol of resilience—a testament to the enduring power of your love.
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jaxjuliet · 8 months
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1989 taylor’s version 🩵🩵🩵
i’m still screaming, crying and throwing up!
coming october 27th
@/jaxonsjuliet on twitter 🩵
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taylor-swift-imagines · 6 months
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Dedication
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Pairing: Taylor Swift x (female) reader
Warnings: None
Requested: @penguinkirby
Request:
Hi ,newcomer here . I have this idea where Taylor realizes she's Inlove with the reader but she's unsure if the reader likes her back so she just makes a song about it and the reader picks up on it ,you can decide what happens next but please make it fluff my heart can't handle angst . Take as much time as you need 😊
***
Taylor Swift.
You would be the only one who would sit with her during lunch period back in high school when the mean girls wouldn’t, it was basically everyone that refused to sit with her or even try to be her friend.
But you.. you were different.
You befriended Taylor without question and now, Taylor was head over heals for you. It took a while for Taylor to realize she had fallen in love with you, it wasn’t anything new but the fact this was the first relationship she would have with a woman is a new thing for her. In a relationship with a gorgeous woman such as yourself, she would give the world to have that with you. However, Taylor quickly comes to terms of the fact to accepting these feelings would be hard, but she went ahead and did so, she wanted to be by your side.
It was the fear of rejection that had her stuck on cold feet. Taylor was scared of coming forward with the absolute truth of her feelings on you, she’s been through too many heartbreaks and doesn’t want to go through another one so soon. Taylor was scared shitless as she was unsure of how to accept them nor to approach them properly without anyone getting hurt. Right now, you both remain in the friend zone and things were better than ever, the friendship meant a lot to the two of you. Taylor wanted more than friendship, but if she had said something about or try to confess, the friendship very well could be over on that note and Taylor couldn’t stand the thought of losing you so she kept quiet. It was possible you liked her, too.
She was right about that.
Taylor was always kind to you and to everyone around. But you most of all, she treated you slightly differently than others by giving you access to better privileges and it drew others to envy you for it.
Unlike most people, you never took pride in it selflessly, rather, you put your gratitude into it and that’s what earned you Taylor’s respect and trust. While Taylor ponders this, an idea had come to light and that idea was to write a song about it as if she was talking to you directly of how she feels. The song would be dedicated to you of course! Taylor honestly didn’t know how she should begin on coming up with the lyrics, but when she saw you linking arms with Selena at a party the three of you attended, she couldn’t help but feel hurt and thought she was close to falling apart in front of everyone, but she didn’t. Taylor continued on with a plan to write something while feeling hurt at the same time of the fact of you and Selena being a couple. What Taylor doesn’t know is that Selena had nothing to do with your love life, for you, it was all about Taylor.
Although you both aren’t together quite yet, but it will come soon.
You had feelings for Taylor you couldn’t describe, not even “I love you to the moon and back” was enough to describe how you feel about her. The feelings were for Taylor only, but on another note, you picked up in some of the little hints she would drop from time to time of the fact that she liked you. However, you didn’t acknowledge them at first because you didn’t want to be wrong if that wasn’t the case. It would save you both the humiliation, so you kept your mouth shut and remained silent as time goes by. At the next party, you make arrangements for Selena to pick you up and you would meet Taylor there. As you walk in, you spot Taylor in a corner with a notepad in hand, most likely writing new lyrics and so you made your way to her with your usual cheery greeting and smile.
You glanced down to see some scribbled words where Taylor made mistakes before looking back up at her to ask if you could have a look at them. Taylor held the notepad to her chest, declining your request and goes into explain that they’re lyrics for her newest album being recorded. The next thing Taylor says is she was wanting it to be a surprise for everyone and that included you.
“Come on, just a peek? Please?”
“But that would ruin the surprise, (Y/n).”
“Well, you could still show me and I’ll act surprised.”
Taylor chuckles before continuing.
“You’re such a schemer, (Y/n). I’m sorry, honey but you’re gonna have to wait like everyone else.”
——
Taylor has recently released Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) and you watch among the audience as she was about to sing some of the songs from that album.
The crowd was cheering loudly, chanting Taylor’s name, and continues to applaud for her appearance on stage. She took a massive boost out of that as the adrenaline pumped in her veins grew stronger as she was now ready to start the show. Taylor makes an impressive speech about knowing you liked someone but couldn’t gather the courage quite yet as you cold feet in fear of misleading a friendship into something much more.
“Years ago, I wrote this song you may have heard of it, this next song is called Enchanted (my version).”
The audience erupts again as the song begins to fill everyone’s ears.
It was a beautiful song.
“There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place
Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you
Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
'Cross the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
The lingering question kept me up
2 AM, who do you love?
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake
And now I'm pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say, "Hey"
It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is, I was enchanted to meet you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
That this night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
This is me praying that
This was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again
These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you.”
You swayed back and forth, picking up on some of the lyrics that seemed to be directed towards you.
If that was it, you were truly flattered as you felt the same for her. But you were too shy to approach her with it. After the show, Taylor invited you out for a drink and you accepted. You were both having a great time, and her asking what you had thought of “Enchanted” caught you a bit off guard. Enchanted was about you, and you knew it but you didn’t want to be the one to see it.
“Taylor, you know I truly loved every minute of it. I absolutely loved it and I’m very proud of you of your accomplishments.”
“What did you think of Enchanted?”
“I think it’s a beautiful song, and that you nailed the song on stage tonight.”
Taylor smiles.
“Well, there’s more to it…” she begins.
“Yeah? What’s that?” you quirked an eyebrow out of curiosity.
“That song, Enchanted, it’s about you. (Y/n), I can’t hold back much longer and need to tell you this now before I push it behind me.”
“You can tell me.”
“I know that you’re already in a relationship with Selena, but I wanted you to know that I have those same kind of feelings towards you. I love you, (Y/n).”
“Taylor…”
“You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know.”
You give a chuckle in return.
“What is it?”
“Taylor, I’m not going out with Selena. We’re just friends, I promise you that. I truly do. Now I have to be honest about something as well.”
Taylor nods for you to go on.
“I like- love you, too. I have for quite sometime now.”
“You’re not just saying this?”
“No, I truly mean it.”
After confessing, your lips were just inches apart from each other and Taylor was the one to have closed the lingering gap.
You kissed back and hummed in approval, wanting more of her. Taylor pulls away so you both can catch a breath. Taylor had just become your first kiss and you couldn’t ask for anyone better. Taylor was the one, she was it, she was your soulmate.
“Does this mean-“ you begin, only to be silenced by Taylor’s lips once again.
“Hell yeah it does.”
You loved that answer nearly more than love itself.
Because it was Taylor’s voice. You were both together now and that was all that mattered now and the future ahead.
Neither of you couldn’t wait.
***
Requests: open
@taylor-swift-imagines
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mellowmadds · 10 days
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Missing Cardigan | Matt Sturniolo
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Matt Sturniolo/Fem Reader - established relationship
Based on the song - betty, by Taylor Swift
Warnings: slight cussing, cheating, crying, drinking
Word Count: 1896
..••°°°°••.. °°••....••°°
Summer, before senior year
House parties on a warm summer night in august only led to a few things like drinking, rumors, fighting and of course sneaking around whether that be with your significant other or someone else, but for Matt it unfortunately was with some girl who he’d never even care to learn her name. He never thought he’d be that guy but sometimes things get carried away but he knew you’d never forgive him.
“Hey! Where's Matt?” you asked while stumbling towards Nick, your drink splashing around in the flimsy red solo cup.
You noticed the way Nick tried ignoring your question by giving a disappointed look to Chris who awkwardly interlocked his arm with the girl he’d brought to the party and made a lame excuse to walk away and leave this conversation.
“He left with a girl, you should really try calling him. I’m sorry y/n” Nick said, giving you an apologetic smile as he pushed his way through the crowd to catch up to his other brother.
You tried dialing Matt however it went straight to voicemail every time and after hearing ‘Hey it’s Matt leave a message’ four times you quit trying to reach him. Deciding it was best to go home, you quickly climbed the stairs to your best friend's house to grab your cardigan from her bedroom to try to cover up the short skirt you wore so you could walk home alone.
The next morning you woke up to many messages and missed calls from Matt. You scrolled through the messages of him begging to talk to you but you sent back a quick ‘It’s over, please leave me alone’ and turned your phone off falling back asleep.
September, beginning of senior year
The first two weeks back were rough having to switch homerooms the last year of highschool. You tried your best to keep a smile on your face for your friends but it was hard since they were all asking what had happened between you and Matt who was supposed to be your highschool sweetheart.
“Y/n, I won’t make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom, but was it because of me?” You heard behind you as you were putting your textbooks away into your locker for the day.
“I don’t want to talk to you Matt” You said quietly while closing your locker and picking up your backpack ready to walk home.
“Can I at least drive you home?” He begged while following behind you towards the door. You continued walking out the door while trying your best to ignore him.
“I know you heard the rumors from Nick, but you can’t ever believe a word he says most times.” You scoffed at his words as you turned to face him.
“But this time it was true, you can’t lie to me anymore Matt” You said as you crossed your arms.
“That's why I said most times y/n, the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you” He said while dropping his hands on both of your shoulders.
“That’s not an apology, and don’t bother apologizing because I won’t ever forgive you” You said confidently while pushing his hands off your shoulders. You quickly walked away leaving him there so he was surrounded by nothing but his thoughts.
October, halloween weekend
Halloween parties might be even better than summer parties but after what had happened back in august you just didn’t feel up to it.
“If I could change the world I’d make it halloween every single day, oh and also have world peace” Your best friend said while hiding anything breakable or expensive her parents had in their house.
“Shouldn’t world peace be first?” You questioned her before heading upstairs to change into your costumes.
“I want you to have fun tonight and forget about everything else, I want the old fun y/n back” She said before holding up a pair of mouse ears stating that she was supposed to be a sexy mouse. You didn’t respond to that and instead pulled out a pair of black cat ears from your backpack so you guys could take pictures before everyone else got there. A few hours have passed by and you were well beyond your second drink when a friend of yours pulled you to the side to tell you someone was asking for you out on the porch. Confused yet intrigued you walked out onto the porch only to see Matt leaning against the railing attached to the stairs.
“Can we please talk about it?” He asked while the people out on the porch sipped their drinks trying their best not to stare at the two of you.
“Fine” Was all you responded with as you walked down the stairs and headed around to the small garden located on the side of the house. Matt was fully expecting you to tell him to go fuck himself but to his suprise you willingly led him to the garden so that you guys could have a conversation in private and not in front of all these party goers.
“It was just a summer thing, I’m only seventeen and I don't know anything. But I do know how much I miss you” He noticed the way you hugged yourself as you shivered because of the cold gust of wind. Matt quickly pulled his sweatshirt off of him, noticing the way you glanced down at his exposed stomach before fixing his t-shirt and handing you his sweatshirt.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me for what I did but I can’t pretend to ignore you anymore, I miss you so much” Matt said, choosing to look down at the ground instead of looking at you. Before answering him you put his sweatshirt on which completely covers your black dress and reaches down past your knees, the sleeves also too big hiding your hands. You missed him just as much but you never wanted to admit that to him.
“If you drive me home maybe I’ll consider being your friend again” You suggested while looking up at him to see a smile form on his face. You excused yourself to go gather your belongings from your friends room quickly pushing past the people who gathered in the house. You walked back outside with your backpack and cardigan in hand and followed Matt back to his car down the street. After tossing your backpack and cardigan in the backseat of his car you shut the back door but before you could open the door to the passenger seat Matt quickly but gently turned you around as your back hit the car and pulled you in for a soft gentle kiss. You pulled away before placing a hand on his chest.
“Matt I’m sorry but we can’t” You said as you felt the tears starting to fall down your cheeks. He quickly apologized before heading around to the driver's side so he could start the car and get you home like you had asked of him in the first place. The drive back to your house was silent besides the few sniffles you had let out from crying. As he pulled up to your driveway you quickly got out of the car and opened the back door to grab your backpack and in the process you had accidentally dropped your cardigan on the floor of his car completely forgetting about it because you just wanted to get to bed after this exhausting horrible night.
After that night you decided it was best to not think about it and focus on school. Many months passed and Matt had only attempted to talk to you a couple of times but you always told him the same thing.
“I’m sorry but I don’t see this working out” Was all you could say to him, and it was the truth even though it hurt to admit that.
June, moving on
The school year had flown by and you found yourself applying to different colleges and trying to pick out the perfect outfit for graduation. You were still friends with Nick because after all he had done nothing wrong to you. He recently told you that after graduation him and his brothers were moving out to Los Angeles to further grow their YouTube career. You were happy for them because they worked hard to get to where they were, you knew one million subscribers was a huge accomplishment for them.
Your parents had forced you to do some spring cleaning so you decided that your closet was the perfect place to start. You had two different piles of clothes, one to keep and one to donate. Down in the corner of your closet was an all too familiar sweatshirt thrown on top of a pair of white Nike air forces. You picked up the sweatshirt neatly folding it and putting it in the keep pile, then deciding to leave the boys shoes in the same spot he left them in.
A few blocks down from your street Matt had been helping his brothers pack their stuff and getting ready for their big move to Los Angeles. He decided to deep clean his car because he had decided to sell it in order to buy a better car in LA. While cleaning the backseat he came across what was a white cardigan laying on the floor. He missed you so much but he knew he needed to keep his distance like you had asked of him. He decided to take the cardigan inside and wash it with the rest of his laundry. After washing it he placed it on his bed until the next morning when he decided to drive over to your house knowing you would most likely be at work but your mother would be home.
Matt sighed before encouraging himself to walk up your driveway and knock on your front door. Your mother answered the door excited to see Matt because it had been a while but then regretfully having to tell him you weren’t home.
“I know y/n’s not home, I just wanted to return her cardigan that was in my car before I left for California. Don’t worry I washed it” He said trying to keep a smile on his face.
“I’m sure she will appreciate this, she's been looking everywhere for it” The woman said as she took the piece of clothing from his hands. Matt would never admit it but he never wanted to let it go but he knew the right thing was to return it. Before this could get any more awkward Matt said his goodbyes and quickly got back in his car to drive home.
After getting home from work you quickly went upstairs to your room where you noticed the missing cardigan folded on the bottom of your bed. As your mom walked by your room she told you that Matt had dropped it off this morning and that he was leaving for California soon. So many memories started flooding your brain, the good and the bad ones. You quickly wiped the tears away that started forming in your eyes because you knew that was his way of telling you he was finally moving on and all you wanted was for him to be happy.
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luvontour · 5 months
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[6:57 pm]
“what would you do if i went to touch you now?” her hand is just beside your hip on the marble counter, her breath inching even closer from where it rested, her eyes stuck on your lips.
your friend’s halloween party was an annual thing. you and taylor always attended. only this time you were there together, well, in your quiet little minds. truly, you believed the two of you were doing well keeping the actuality of your relationship private. but you had failed miserably.
just from the way you looked at each other, everyone knew. you are in love.
“not much to stop it” you brought the hand around your wine glass to rest your cheek on, staring at her in all her tipsy-glory. set the scene, your back is against the counter, while only her left hip supports her on it. she cares way less about her comfort when she’s around you.
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taylorswift-imagines · 4 months
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She pranks you
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Nearly every day of your life, there was always someone there for you to prank and the last victim was your girlfriend, Taylor Swift.
You should’ve known just how willing she was to have returned the favor, doing it in a way that made you both feel horrible. While Taylor spent her day at the studios, you spent yours at home working on that essay for your college course. Taylor didn’t just spend a day at the studio only focusing on her music, she was also focused on coming up with a way on how to prank you back after the last prank you pulled on her.
It was a harmless prank, all it involved was you and a piece of scotch tape placed on the hose of the kitchen sink. When Taylor got up in the middle of the night for a drink, that was when the prank was executed and Taylor wasn’t too happy about it afterwards. Taylor had another long day ahead of her, so of course she wasn’t going to be happy of the fact you pranked her yet again. She didn’t find it amusing as much as you did, if not at all. The idea Taylor had come up with as a way to prank you was to delete your saved essay on the computer and make it up to you in the end. Just as she expected, you were right where she had left you, layer back on the couch with your feet resting on the arm of the couch, laptop in your lap as you were typing away. Taylor smiles as you spare a second glance at her from your screen.
“Hey Tay..” you greet, just before jumping off the couch for the bathroom.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“The bathroom, I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
But Taylor doesn’t let you leave the room without giving you a hug and sets her plan into action after hearing the bathroom door shut.
However, Taylor makes a last minute decision to livestream this prank. Turning on the livestream, Taylor begins to fill in her audience on how it’s going to work.
“Alright guys, I’m about to prank my gif by deleting her essay. I don’t plan on saving any of it, but I have a way of making it up to her in the end so don’t worry.”
After explaining, Taylor highlights your essay before hitting the back button as it disappears and does the same to rest you have saved right as you come out of the bathroom. It wasn’t until you sit back down and get ready to type some more did you realize it was no longer there, you begin to panic. You were devastated and wanted to cry, but as soon as she admitted to it is when you allow the tears to sleep as you begin to ask her why. Tears continue to fall, making her feel more guilty than she already was in that moment.
Taylor begins to apologize.
“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I was trying to prank you back.”
“Couldn’t you have done it in a different way?” you sniffled.
“Yes, but I didn’t. I’m very sorry.”
“That’s not going to bring it back if you have deleted all of my savings!”
“Well, I’ll make it up to you.”
“How?”
You had never been this angry towards anyone, and you hated that it’s directed towards Taylor. But at the same time, you were understandably upset.
You were too upset to even care anymore.
“Well, I know a site where you can pay someone to do write your essay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, let me show you.”
Taylor was right, but even though you were still getting your essay done, and more easily, you still weren’t happy about the way she had pranked you and started thinking of ways you could get her back for it.
You spent all the next day thinking of a way to get her back for this.
Payback is a bitch after all.
***
@taylor-loves-you
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folkloreintime · 8 months
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texts with gf!Taylor
Taylor Swift x Reader texts
A/N: something a bit different hope you dont mind I just thought this would be such a cute concept. if u guys like it I might start a social media au with taylor x reader? please let me know thank you 🫶✨
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end.
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13uswntimagines · 4 months
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13 Eras of Us (Taylor Swift x Morgan!R): Era 1 - We Were Both Young When I First Saw You
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Request: Taylor Swift x Alex morgan's little sister. They start off as friends and realize that there may be something more.
Chapter synopsis: 1 of 13: The era where everything begins. R and Taylor meet, and become friends. Composed of little moments between them, r and the Team and R and her sister.
Notes: Hey dudes, i'm really really stoked about this series, and i really hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.
July, 2015
We were both young when I first saw you
You sighed, gripping the rubber handles of your crutches, leaning more heavily onto the foam padding under your arms despite the ache it caused from the constant chafing. It was an annoying consequence of your injury. 
A secondary effect that the trainers hadn’t told you about when they convinced you that an Achilles tear wasn’t something you could walk off. When they swore up and down that the two other liniments in your ankle were holding on by threads and absolutely could not hold your weight for another 5 weeks. 
You still hadn’t gotten used to them, not that you really had the chance. 
They were a fairly new addition to your wardrobe, made necessary by one bad tackle only 20 minutes into your first game in Canada, effectively ruining your World Cup run (something you were still bummed about despite your team actually winning the World Cup- not that you would call yourself a World Cup Winner). 
You let out another breath, unable to stop the smile on your face as the lights shifted to highlight the woman on stage. 
She was absolutely mesmerizing in her shimmery silver dress, and it was nice to get to watch without the team lingering behind you. It was the only good thing about being injured. 
You didn’t have to go on the stage with them. 
Alas, you were lucky you got to come to the 1989 tour with the team at all. Taylor Swift had only invited the 2015 World Cup winners. 
It was one of the few benefits of being The Alex Morgan’s little sister you supposed. She sent a text and then you had been invited too. 
It strangely made you feel like a 10-year-old chasing after her and her new college friends, going to places where you just didn’t belong. But then again, you felt that way any time you spent more than an hour with your older sister since she left your sobbing form in the driveway as she headed off to Berkley. 
Things hadn’t been the same between you since, and all of her efforts just felt like a weird form of a twisted apology, even now. 
It was like you were her charity case or something, and that didn’t sit right with you. 
Still, you were grateful she had pulled the strings to get you backstage to one of your favorite singer’s shows. God knew you wouldn’t have survived well in the crowd, especially not now that you could barely stand on your own. 
“Pretty spectacular isn’t it?” 
You flinched at the voice, jerking away from the woman standing close enough to your left side to also be able to see the stage, but not too close. Just like she had been all night. 
She reached out a steadying hand as the crutches wobbled dangerously underneath you, an easy smile never leaving her features. 
You swallowed hard, trying to form words to say anything to Taylor’s mom. 
You weren’t big into fandom or social media, but you still knew who she was, and it felt weird meeting her (definitely not because you had a massive crush on her daughter- or the character her daughter pretended to be on stage). 
“She’s amazing,” You finally managed to force the words from your throat, turning back towards the flashing lights on stage and around the stadium.
Andrea hummed. “She is. You’re pretty amazing too,” 
She had heard about your… reputation but all she had seen from you tonight was a shy kid desperately searching for something. Exactly what that something was she couldn’t put her finger, but she suspected it had to do with the way you were watching your older sister interact all night. 
You shrugged, your shoulders collapsing in on you just a bit. “Right now I’m gimpy, and I couldn’t imagine having the control over an audience that she does,” 
Andrea made a low noise, thinking better than to argue with you. She didn’t know you well enough for a debate. 
She didn’t want to interrupt you any more than she had anyway. 
The way you were staring at the stage was a sight to behold, to say the least, your lip trapped between your teeth and your eyes filled with wonder. 
She had seen many fans in her days, but there was just something… different about how you watched the show. The tender adoration in your eyes was beautiful, and it made the mom in her wonder what the future would hold for you and her daughter. 
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as style came to an end and your sister disappeared below the stage. 
You smiled towards Andrea. “I better go before they think I tried to escape,” 
She raised an eyebrow at you. “Is that something you’ve done before?” 
You shrugged again, your grin turning impish.
 “I don’t kiss and tell,” You winked as you started to maneuver yourself back towards where you knew Alex would be coming out, and Andreas' laugh sounded from behind you. 
That had been the point after all hadn't it? 
Still, you were slightly relieved when your sister stepped through the curtain that separated the stage from the backstage area. 
While Andrea and the stage managers had been as welcoming as they could be, you still hadn’t felt like you belonged. You hadn’t been the one invited after all. It also helped that you would be getting out of the noise until Taylor got off stage and was ready for the mini meet and greet the team planned. 
“How did that crowd feel?” You asked as Alex approached you, and the crowd at the front of the stage cheered again, painting an interested smile across your features. 
It felt electric from the audience, so you could only imagine what it felt like being on stage, 
“Really good,” Alex smiled widely, wiggling the trophy in her arms just a bit. “Like World Cup good,” 
“It’s insane how she can control a room like that,”
Alex’s eyebrows furrowed. You felt her slow down beside you and her eyes searched your face. “Don’t even think about it,” 
“What?” You asked, your tongue poking out of your mouth as you focused on keeping up with the team. 
“I know you and I know that look,” She said seriously.  “She’s my age, and you’re not 18 for another 10 days,” 
You shrugged. “So?” 
You hadn’t been planning on hitting on America's top superstar, but you would never miss an opportunity to mess with your older sister. Plus, you didn’t see the harm in flirting. 
It was a fundamental part of your personality after all. 
“Y/n I’m serious,” 
Your lips pulled into a playful smirk, glancing up at her as she held the door to a small room for you. “And I’m committed to not being serious,” 
It was no secret that your… extracurricular activities had picked up since your injury, and you had done little to mask your enjoyment of the league's hookup culture since you joined in lew of going to college. 
What annoyed Alex more was that no one in North Carolina would step up and help her stop you. 
“Y/n,” Alex let out a suffering sigh, catching the crutch before you could hobble away. 
“Look, she’s out of my league, and it’s criminal to not tell a gorgeous woman how gorgeous she is,” 
“Kid’s got a point,” Kelley said, appearing at your other side and sending you a small wink. “Shooting my shot is how I landed you after all,”
“That’s true baby horse,” Cheney said, grabbing a coke off of the large catering table that dominated the room. “It’s also how Toby got Chris,” 
“How did we get roped into this?” Tobin groaned, her slightly red-rimmed eyes going wide, popping a grape in her mouth. 
Kelley snorted. “You got roped into this because you asked Chris out after you beat her in the college cup, while she was still on the field,” 
“You fucking proposed to Alex after your team beat her in a shootout,” Christen snickered, shaking her head. “You literally have no room to talk,” 
You chucked at Kelley’s blush, barely noticing the new body that had entered the room and was leaning up against the doorframe next to you. 
“Sounds like the field is a very active place for you guys,” The voice said, and you snapped your head to meet the most gorgeous blue eyes you had ever seen in your entire life. “Though your timing seems… questionable,” 
“Tay!” 
“That was an amazing show,”
“Dude, that crowd is nuts. It’s like they’re eating out of the palm of your hand,” 
Taylor smiled widely at the team, her eyes glimmering in the dressing room light. “Well thank you, it was an absolute pleasure to get to share the stage with you all tonight,” 
She pushed off of the wall, and your eyes followed her like she was a magnet. She looked so… graceful even in a pair of sweats.
“The pleasure was all ours,” Cheney grinned back at her. “it was a blast, thank you again for inviting us,”
“Anything to bring more visibility to what you guys do,” Taylor nodded, looking over the catering table and picking sparkling water from the selection. “It’s empowering to young girls everywhere,” 
You were drawn to her hands as they flexed around the bottle. To her lips as she timed her sips so she could continue her conversation with Cheney. She was so elegant. 
Even in your sexcapades, you had never been so… taken with someone. 
“This is my younger sister, Y/n,” You blinked away from Taylor and towards Alex, and back, feeling taken slightly off guard. You hadn’t realized you zoned out. 
The blonde singer nodded towards you, waving the bottle. “Hey. I’m Taylor,” 
“I’m Y/n,” Your lips quirked up, and you stuck your hand out for her to take, bringing it to your lips when she did. “And I’m your wildest dream,” 
“Very smooth,” Taylor chuckled, pulling her hand back, and you could have sworn she had a little bit of pink dusting her cheeks. 
“Smoother than a fresh jar of skippy,” You winked back, earning an ever louder giggle from the singer. 
The room erupted into laughter, and you sent a proud smirk toward your sister. 
She shook her head. “Don’t encourage her. She’s been practicing all week for this,” 
“Well I can’t practice soccer, so what did you expect?” You shrugged as much as you could over the crutches. “I need to use my talents for something,”
“I think it was amazing,” Taylor cut in, grinning. 
“See!” 
Alex rolled her eyes but didn’t argue. She had obviously been outvoted. It would be a fun story to tell your future significant other anyway. 
“It’s very nice to meet you Y/n,” Taylor said, sobering. “I was happy you could make it, even if you weren’t on the squad,” 
“It’s nice to meet you too,” You nodded, your dimples on full display. “Thanks for the invite,” 
“No way I would exclude one of my favorite players,” She hummed. “I was so sad when you got hurt,”
You felt heat in your cheeks, traveling up to your ears. Taylor knew who you were. She liked to watch you play. 
You swallowed hard. “I should be up and playing again within the next couple of months,”
Your PT promised you that as long as you followed the plan, you’d be back and playing by the end of the season. With the way Paul was pushing you, you knew you’d probably be back sooner. 
“Well, if you’re ever in New York let me know,” She said, pulling out her phone and opening the texting app before passing it to you. “I’d love to see a game,” 
You took the offered item, quickly typing in your number. “Yeah, I’m sure I can get you and the squad good seats,” 
She sent you one last smile before she turned back towards the team. “I’ve gotta go, but it was nice to see you all again,” 
You stared at her, as she waved and left, not actually believing what had just happened. 
Your bad pickup line had gotten you The Taylor Swift’s number, and she wanted to see a game. 
*****
September, 2015
We play dumb, but we know exactly what we’re doing
You never expect Taylor to actually text you. Hell, you weren’t convinced that the phone she let you text yourself from wasn’t a business phone. 
But as it turned out, Taylor did text you. 
First, it was a simple text asking about your recovery because a commentator had mentioned it. Then the conversation between the two of you just didn’t stop. 
And you realized very quickly that you never wanted it to stop. 
You found that Taylor was up at all of the weird hours you were and that no matter what she was doing, she was never too busy to say hello. Then texting turned into hanging out when you were in New York, Florida, or California, and before you knew it, it was a regular occurrence. 
“I fucking suck at this,” You groaned, letting go of the guitar strings and flopping onto your back. “And my fingers hurt now. I’m pretty sure they’re bleeding,” 
You held them up in the air pretending to examine them for the little flecks of red you were sure you would find there. 
“No, you just haven’t practiced enough to build calluses,” Taylor said, and you could hear the eye roll in her voice. 
“I got enough of them on my feet thank you,” You muttered, looking up at her through your eyelashes and wiggling your fingers at her.  “I don’t need guitar string scars on my hands too,” 
She caught your hand, smoothing it over her palm. “Don’t be overdramatic,” 
“Me!” You exclaimed indignantly, holding your hand to your chest in mock offense. 
“Yes,”  Taylor smirked. “This isn’t soccer where you can flop about,” 
You frowned. “I don’t flop,” 
She raised an eyebrow at you, and you pouted. “Fine. I don’t flop often, and not unless it’s necessary,” 
“Whatever you say,” She chuckled, shaking her head. “Sit up and I’ll help you,” 
You pouted but did as she asked, pushing yourself back to sit, crossing your legs so you could hold the guitar like she had shown you the first time you did this. 
Her lips ticked up at you, and she scooted so your knees were touching. 
“Alright so g,” She said, positioning her fingers on the string, waiting for you to copy her. 
You tried, moving each finger to the strings. “Like this?”
“Not quite,” She said, leaning forward and moving your pinky. “That one goes on the low e,” 
You nodded, trying not to blush at how close she was to you. So close that you could smell her coconut shampoo. 
“Now, strum slowly,” She said, leaning back and demonstrating. 
You did your best to copy her, slowly drawing the pick across each of the strings, but instead of making the beautiful chord she was, it made an off-key wamp. 
“I’m hopeless,” You said dramatically dropping your pick and flopping back on her fluffy carpet. “Worse than the whole Tom Sermanni debacle,” 
She sighed and took the guitar off, maneuvering so she was sitting next to you. “I didn’t know you were so easily discouraged. I thought with all the sports, you’d have some resiliency,” 
“I’m good at soccer,” You shrugged.  “My fingers aren’t long enough or sting enough for guitar,” 
“Were you good at soccer to begin with?” Taylor asked you softly. 
You scrunched your nose. The truth was that you had been playing soccer too long to remember when you started. It was always a part of your life. 
“No,” You said finally, biting your lip. “Alex absolutely destroyed me any time we practiced. She even stepped on my neck one time with her rain cleats and gave me a scar,” 
You pointed to the small dimple just below your chin. Sure it had been an accident, but it ultimately was the reason you were a midfielder instead of a forward. 
When you were young, Alex had always been better than you. More competitive, more ruthless, and she didn’t go easy on you in practice. It’s what made you such a good player. 
“But you still play?” Taylor pressed, and your eyes were drawn to how her lips formed a thin line. 
“Not as a forward,” You admitted easily.  “Mom got tired of all of the bickering,” 
Once you switched positions, you and Alex could work together instead of going head to head. It made you a lethal pair and let you both show off your talents. 
It also saved your mother’s sanity. 
“That’s not the point,” Taylor chuckled. “If you can change positions, you can play a chord on a guitar. You just need patience,”
“I wasn’t born with that,” You smirked. 
She rolled her eyes. “Try for me?” 
“Fine,” You sighed, pushing yourself to a sitting position yet again. 
It was kinda scary how easily she could bed you to her will. All she had to do was ask. 
“Put your fingers in position,” She said, leaning forward and checking to make sure they were on the right strings. “And then play each one individually,” 
You grabbed the pick from the floor beside you and very slowly brought it across the strings. All of the strings sounded right except for the pinky. 
“Press down a little harder,” She said, her tongue caught between her teeth as she reached over to help you. “And try again,” 
You did as she asked, and this time, the G chord sounded through her apartment. 
“Great job!” She cheered, and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks. 
“Thanks,” You cleared your throat and looked away.  “Couldn't have done it without you, literally, but um… can we be done with me playing? I think my fingers are going to fall off,” 
You turned towards her, not realizing how close you were, and nearly brushed her nose with yours. You pulled back, trying not to look at her lips, or her burning blue eyes, focusing on a very small freckle on her forehead because it felt like the safest option. 
The two of you hated a lingering breath, and the air between you felt electric. You would have sworn that her eyes flickered to your lips, just as her tongue poked out to wet her own. 
But she couldn’t be into you. 
She was America’s favorite pop star, she was a fully-fledged adult while you were still basically a kid, and most importantly, she was straight. 
“Yeah, we can do something else,” She hummed, reaching for the guitar and carefully pulling it over your head. 
“Can you play something for me?” You asked, scooping Meredith up and settling her in your lap when she nudged against your leg. 
For a cat that didn’t like being picked up and cuddled, she was very attached to you, except when you were playing the guitar. 
“Sure,” She nodded, grabbing her guitar and plucking out some chords. “Any requests?” 
You shook your head, smiling down at the cat as she kneaded her feet into your thighs and finally plopped down with a short purr. “Whatever you want,” 
“Now that’s no fun,” Her lips turned up, and her head ticked to the side and she reached over to scratch the cat's head. “Come on, what’s your dream surprise song?”
Your shoulders lifted and fell, and more red bled into your cheeks. “Um… I don’t suppose you have the 10-minute version of All Too Well available?”
She chuckled and shook her head, a playful smile pulling at her lips. “Unfortunately, it was a rant that I don’t currently have memorized,” 
“Hey, you asked for the dream song,” You held your hands up in defense, unable to stop yourself from laughing with her. “I think a lot of fans would agree to have that on their list,” 
She shrugged, half in agreement and half in amusement. “I just think it’s funny that it came from a line I said in an interview almost 4 years ago,” 
“Honestly, I think if a demo version of it did exist, it would have been leaked already. Some of your sleuthy fans are obsessed,” You said, your dimples popping out. “I couldn’t not ask for it,” 
She snorted “Trust me, I know. It was a good shot, and if it did exist, I’d totally play it for you. I trust you not to be secretly recording,” 
You hummed, trying not to think too hard about how she trusted you. How she would have played one of her most secret and tightly kept songs for you “But alas it does not,” 
“No, not in a playable form,” She shook her head, her blue eyes shining. “Pick a new one,”
You bit your lip, rolling through the list of songs in your head. “What about State of Grace,”
The piano version had always been one of your favorites, and you so often got the intro stuck in your head. 
“We can do that,” She smiled widely at you and began picking out the chords. “Only if you promise to sing along?”
Your nose scrunched. “You don’t want me to sing, I sound like a dying walrus, just ask Alex,” 
You knew Alex would agree, even if it wasn’t entirely true. You didn’t do music anymore. 
“Hum then,” She conceded, and you nodded. 
You could hum- just not in tune, but you didn’t have to be in tune with Taylor. 
You just had to be yourself, and you had never experienced that with anyone else. 
******
December 2015
Barefoot in the kitchen
Sacred new beginnings 
That became my religion, listen
You eyed the oven warily from across the island, leaning into the cool stone countertop as Taylor flitted around you, pulling out various ingredients. 
It wasn’t that you were afraid of the oven, it was just that you were not known for being a good cook. Actually, you were known for being a very not good cook. 
You were banned from making anything in any of your sister's kitchens, and you rarely ventured to make more than Dino nuggets (which you still burned) on your own. 
As long as you didn’t touch the controls, everything should be fine. 
“You alright?” Taylor asked, setting a stick of butter on the counter next to you, her hand landing gently on your forearm. “You’re staring at the stove,” 
“Yeah,” You blinked away from the copper appliance and towards Taylor, painting an easy smile across your lips. “I’ve just never made cookies before,”
She frowned. “Never ever?” 
You shook your head, biting your lip. You didn’t want to tell her that any time your sisters had tried, it ended in charcoal (and an oven fire… twice) instead of ooey, gooey deliciousness.
“We were more of sports people than baking people,” You explained with an easy shrug. “Plus after a hard game, the precut square ones always do the trick,” 
Her nose scrunched adorably. “But they don’t sell peanut butter chocolate chip cookies in the little squares,” 
“Kelley likes to bake. Jerry too. I’m not usually involved,” You answered with ease, taking the wooden spoon she passed you. “When Alex and I get together we usually get distracted trying new tactics and tricks,” 
You didn’t want to say that you were always banished from the kitchen, at least until the oven was off. 
A thoughtful look crossed her face.
This was the first time you had mentioned Alex by name and not followed it with a remark about something terrible she had done. The first time you hadn’t breezed by her existence in the greater context of the team. 
She wanted to pry, to ask why there was a strange tension between you and your older sister, but she wasn’t sure you would give her a straight answer. 
You were a master at spinning questions around (and running interviewers around in circles) when you wanted to, so the only way she would get the story was if you wanted to tell her. 
And she so desperately wanted you to want to let her into your personal life. 
 “Austin doesn’t like to cook either, but we usually chat while I get everything ready,” She said. 
“Alex and I talk better on the field,” Your head bobbed gently as you began to stir the ingredients in the bowl. “Soccer is our best communication method, and Kelley likes to feed us when we’re done,” 
She opened her mouth to ask more, to try and understand why the only place you really opened up was the field, but your phone buzzed obnoxiously on the counter. 
Your eyebrows furrowed as Emily’s contact photo popped up on your screen. 
“You can answer it,” Taylor hummed, grabbing the spoon and bowl from you and carefully measuring in more ingredients. 
You sighed. “It’s probably not important,” 
“But what if it is?” Taylor shrugged. She didn’t want you ignoring your other friends to hang out with her, even if she was slightly flattered that you always gave her your undivided attention (except when you watched movies). “Answer it,” 
“Sup loser,” Emily’s voice filled Taylor’s kitchen as your best friend’s face filled the screen, a wide smile showing off her dimples. 
You rolled your eyes. She would never let you live down how the thorns had beaten the red stars. Badly. Even if you had gotten a banger of a goal on her yourself. 
“Don’t rub it in,” You muttered, balancing the phone against a vase so you could keep stirring the batter, careful that you were the only person in the shot. “What do you want?” 
“Just figured I’d see if you’d seen the roster for January camp yet,” She hummed, shifting forward as if she was trying to see what you were doing, just as Taylor’s hands plopped a stick of butter into the bowl.  “Are you baking? Should I call the fire department?” 
You glowered at her, beginning to mix the thick batter, your tongue poking out the side of your cheek in concentration. 
You hadn’t had time to read your emails yet, not that you were worried. You just got so… distracted with Taylor. You wanted to be in the moment. You wanted to savor every second you got with the person slowly becoming your best friend. 
“No, yes, no,”  You said, eyes flickering towards Taylor and then back to the phone.“I’m supervised,” 
She raised an eyebrow at you. “You’re supervised? Are you clothed?” 
Red filled your cheeks at the implication, and you did your best to ignore Taylor’s raised eyebrow. 
She had heard about your reputation, but having one of your friends bring it up right in front of her still made you blush. You didn’t want her to think that you had some endgame. That you were playing her. 
You weren’t (even if the fluttering in your chest when you were with her made you want something… more). 
You cleared your throat. “I’m with a friend Sonnett,” 
It came out more biting than you meant for it to. More defensive. 
She rolled her eyes, holding her hands up in surrender. “Whatever you say, just be safe,” 
“Fuck off,” You bit back, your teeth clacking, even as Taylor dumped the chocolate chips into the bowl. 
“I love you too Y/n,” She cackled back, unphased by your sudden moodiness. She had seen it hundreds of times before when things in the pitch didn’t go your way. “See you in a few weeks,” 
“Bye loser,” You muttered, unable to resist returning her jab. 
A devilish smirk broke across her face, and you knew you would regret trying to tease her. “Bye y/n and y/n’s friend,” 
“Bye Sonnett,” Taylor added, as you clicked the end call button, and from Emily’s furrowed eyebrows just before the screen ended, you knew she didn’t know who had said goodbye to her. 
You anxiously rubbed the back of your neck, avoiding running your hand through your hair so you didn’t have to wash them… again. “Sorry about her,” 
“She’s charming,” Taylor hummed, taking the bowl of cookie dough from in front of you. “Is she always like that?” 
“No,”  You muttered, as she carefully scooped out a bit of dough with a spoon and transferred it to a baking sheet. “She can actually be pretty sweet when she wants to be. It’s why Rosie loves her so much,” 
Taylor’s head tilted to the side as she tried to follow your train of thought. Despite how much you talked about the team, you rarely ever mentioned the relationships within it. The team was intensely private in that way, and she respected that. Still, it didn’t mean she wasn’t curious… and you had technically mentioned it first. 
“Are they dating?” 
“No,” You snorted, shaking your head. They were two blind idiots in love, terrified of messing up a friendship. “They mostly just make moon eyes at each other right now. But hopefully winning a gold will give one of them the balls to finally make a move,” 
“Like she thought you had the balls to bake naked,”
She knew there had to be a story there, but getting you to actually tell her would be a bigger challenge. 
More red colored your cheeks, traveling up to your ears.
“It would be more likely for me to be naked, than for me to be baking,” you murmured, rubbing harder at the back of your neck. “That comment was probably more about the supervision. The last time she called I was sneaking out of a girl's apartment,”
Her eyebrow raised nearly to her hairline. “And you answered?” 
It was hard to wrap her head around how commonplace your hookups were. She didn’t like how casual you and everyone around you were about them, especially since you were so young.
“She wanted to check in,” You waved a hand dismissively. “We lost pretty badly,”
She didn’t quite know how those two pieces fit together. “But she asked if you needed the fire department,” 
You cleared your throat and looked away. “I… distracted a girl one time while she was cooking,” 
Taylor swallowed her grimace. She wasn’t allowed to be jealous. Not yet anyway. 
She was your friend. 
She scooped a small bit of batter with her finger and reached out to smear it on the very tip of your nose. “Sounds pretty dangerous,” 
Your eyes crossed as you tried to see the little blob, and Taylor laughed loudly at the expression. 
“You didn’t just do that,” 
Taylor sat back, smirking at you widely. “Oh, but I did. What are you going to do about it?”
You reached across the island, grabbing a small scoop of flour. 
“This,” You said, rubbing the flour into her cheek with a grin. “It’s a little lighter than your normal highlight, but it suits you,” 
She paused for a second before reaching for the flour container, dipping her hand inside. “Oh, it’s on now,” 
She didn’t give you time to duck as she tossed a handful of flour towards you, and you caught a stick of butter still out on the counter as you dove for cover. 
More flour powdered around you in a cloud as you peeked up from your hiding space, throwing a bit of soft butter towards her. It skidded across the counter, mixing with the sugar and flour smeared across the surface. 
It almost made you feel bad, but you would help her clean it up. 
“Missed me, loser,” 
Your nose scrunched at the name, and your eyebrows furrowed. 
You would not be a loser. 
You crawled towards your left, sneaking around the island until you saw her right foot, and a smile broke across your face. 
You dove for her, catching her around the waist, sending the bag of flour flying around you as you both fell, her peels of laughter echoing across the kitchen. 
“I don’t lose,” You chuckled into her neck as flour fell around you like snow. “Flour fights and otherwise,” 
Taylor rolled off of you, propping herself up on her elbow so she could look at you. “You’ve got a little bit of flour there,” 
She gestured towards your nose, and you lifted your shirt to wipe the area she indicated. You felt the way her eyes were immediately glued to your exposed abs, and you took an extra second to wipe your face so she could look. 
Her face was red when you dropped your shirt. 
“Thanks,” You winked, and the red bled from her cheeks down her neck. 
She snorted and shook her head. “That just made it worse,” 
You wiggled your eyebrows and licked your lips for good measure. “That’s ok, I’ve gotten way dirtier anyway,” 
“You’re too much,” She said, still giggling, watching your shoulder as she sat up. “Let’s get the cookies in the oven and we can clean up while they bake,”
You pouted dramatically. “What if I want to stay dirty?” 
She rolled her eyes, already pushing herself to her feet. “You don’t get cookies,” 
You wrinkled your nose. “Bummer,”
“Come on,” She held her hand out to you, and you took it, letting her pull you up. 
She stole a hug before she let you go, directing you towards where the broom was. 
And you couldn’t help the small smile pulled across your features, both at Taylor and the sight of the cats staring safely at you from the kitchen archway.
You would tolerate baking if it was with Taylor. 
*****
March, 2016
If you’ve got a girlfriend, I’m jealous of her. But if you’re single it’s honestly worse.
You were never good at sneaking. You hadn’t even tried in high school because you knew you would be caught, and after you moved out, there was no one to sneak from. 
Your North Carolina roommate didn’t care how late you were out. She barely even spoke to you at all. 
You were pretty sure she hated you, but which of your Courage teammates didn’t? 
Maybe the newfound freedom made you wreckless, or maybe you just didn’t care about changing your behavior when you were visiting your sister in Florida. 
But whatever the case, Alex was waiting for you when you stepped back into her house, her arms crossed and an annoyed look on her face. 
Part of you wondered if she had been standing there all night, or if she heard the door of your UBER shut and came down to greet you. You wondered if they turned the porch light on as soon as they got home, or if you just hadn’t noticed it when the car pulled up. 
“Where the fuck have you been?” 
You slowly turned towards her, kicking off your shoes, neatly placing them in the rack by the door, and pulling your sweatshirt over your head. “Out? Why?”
“It’s almost 2 am,” She grit out, her eyes flashing dangerously, but it did nothing to dissuade you. 
You shrugged, hanging your sweatshirt on the hook right next to her. “I got distracted” 
She scoffed, following you as you tried to brush past her. “You didn’t call or text, I was worried sick about you,”
You rolled your eyes. 
It wasn’t like you texted her often anyway. The two of you barely spoke as it was, nothing besides Hey how was your day messages and one-word responses on your end. 
It was weird to you that she was still trying to look after you. That she was still trying to be the protective older sister, when clearly your relationship had evolved. 
You weren’t the toddler crawling after her wherever she went, or the 4-year-old tripping over every soccer ball she passed you. 
You were a just barely adult trapped in the shadows of everyone’s expectation of you. 
“OK mom, chill out. I was just… busy,” You snarked, wiggling your fingers at her as you headed towards the kitchen. “I had my hands full,” 
She made a face at you. 
There had been a time when she was more like your mom than your mom was. A time when you were closer to her than anyone else. 
Now it felt like she barely knew you. 
“Just your hands? I thought you had more game than that,” Kelley said from the couch. 
“Trust me, I do,” You cackled, fist-bumping Kelley as you passed her, headed for the kitchen. 
“Don’t encourage her,” Alex grumbled, nudging her as they both followed after you. 
You again rolled your eyes, pulling out one of the stools at the island, settling into it, and running your hand through your wild curls. “Chill out Al, I made it here, ok?”
You didn’t like it when your hookups messed with your hair, but it seemed everyone was obsessed with it. 
“Good argument kid,” Kelley chortled, grabbing a plate of rock shaped objects from next to the stove and holding them out to you. “Cookie?” 
Your nose scrunched at the offered items, but you took one anyway, letting your shoulders relax as the tension between you and Alex mellowed. 
She had been acting as referee for the two of you for a very long time, almost as long as they had been dating, and she was an expert at this point. It helped that you would open up to her more than you ever would to Alex. 
You knew your sister and her girlfriend didn’t like your… relaxation method, but as long as your partner was into it and you were into it, you didn’t see a problem. It was better than some of the things you could be doing. 
“You know, eventually you’re going to have to stop this,” Alex muttered, sitting down at the counter beside you.
“Why?” You asked, examining the cookie. 
She laid her phone on the counter and slid it towards you, “Because the team aren’t the only people who have picked up on it now,”
You glanced down at the device. 
It was a Twitter feed of pictures of you and the girl you had just left. You reached out and scrolled, frowning when you saw all of the text tweets below it. 
@randomy/nfan: it’s unfair how ridiculously hot she is. 
@randomy/nfan2: no one needs to wipe their face that many times during a game
@randomy/nfan: Did you see how she stuck her tongue out each time she ran her hand through her hair? It should be criminal. 
@randomy/nfan3: she totally winked at me after she gave me her jersey. Too bad I wasn’t the one she took home after. 
@randomy/nfan5: can confirm she winked after she took her jersey off. She even flexed for the photo. 
@SoccerUpdates: Y/n Morgan spotted with Orlando rookie Sam Witterman after the game. 
“The fans need to mind their own fucking business,” You grumbled, sliding her phone back. “I didn’t flex for her either,”
Alex raised an eyebrow at you. “If it wasn’t for her, who was it for? Because Sam wasn’t even paying attention,”
You looked back at the cookie, using it to hide the sudden heat in your cheeks. “I’m an adult and I can do whoever or whatever I want,” 
You hadn’t been flexing for the fan. You had been flexing in case your favorite singer was watching the game like she said she would be. 
It was frustrating how obsessed the media was with you sometimes. The fans didn’t know the line between who you were on the field and in interviews and who you were off the field. They didn’t understand the concept of privacy.
“You can,” Kelley agreed, ignoring the glare Alex sent her way. “But aren’t you concerned that you give a part of yourself away each time you sleep with someone?” 
Your shoulders lifted and then fell. “It’s not like I receive,” 
“What?” Kelley frowned. 
“Half the time, I don’t even take my pants off. It’s not like they notice,” You mumbled, taking a bite of the cookie and wrinkling your nose at the crumbly texture of oats and coconut. “Why is everything in your house vegan?” 
“I never pegged you as a stone top,” Kelley breathed out, shaking her head. “And my cookies are vegan because your sister is vegan and enjoys being able to eat the things I make,” 
“You just don’t like that she won’t let you kiss her when you’ve had anything that actually tastes good,” You hummed, taking another bite of the too-dry cookie. “It’s just easier,” 
Alex’s eyebrows furrowed, a warning bell sounding in the back of her mind. “Easier?”
You nodded, swallowing the sand-like texture in your mouth. “It’s hard to find clothes in the dark without waking anyone up, and that makes sneaking out more difficult,”
“You don’t even stay long enough to say goodbye?” Alex grimaced. 
“No,” You said dismissively, reaching for another cookie and taking a bite. “Then they’d have a chance to try and get me to stay,”
Alex could only stare at you, wondering where the shy kid who had been terrified to ask your high school crush out went. When had you gone from sweet and reserved to a Fuck boy who didn’t even tell the person they were sleeping with goodbye?
 “Jesus,” She scoffed, running a palm across her face. “You’re only 18, you shouldn’t be participating in hookup culture,”
“Like you weren’t when you were at Berkeley,” Kelley chuckled. “Y/n is just having her frat boy era without a frat. Let the kid live,” 
“Yeah Alex, let me live,” You intoned, copying Kelley. 
Alex glared at the side of your head, much like she did when you were young and being a brat. “Fine then. Was she good?”
You tilted your chin toward her incredulously. “You really want to hear about my hookup?”
“Well you wanted me to let you live,” She sat back in her chair, crossing her arms. The stance that always made younger you cower. “So tell me, was she good? Did you enjoy yourself?”
You raised an eyebrow at her, staring for a long second before shrugging and taking another bite of your cookie. “She was fine, like the others,”
“Just fine?”
“Her nails were really long, so she gorged my back,” You said, turning and pulling the collar of your shirt down so she could see the angry red marks at the top of your back. “I was worried I was going to bleed all over my shirt,”
Alex’s eyebrows furrowed. You had to be the good one to get marks like that, and the idea that you were… talented in that area almost made her want to vomit. As did the notion that your… skills probably came from… practice. 
Lots of practice.
“So you ditched us for a just fine hookup?” Kelley asked, and it made the guilt bubble in your stomach. 
That was the only good part about playing Orlando… that you got to spend time with your sister (something that was rare after she left you for Berkeley).
It was the only real hope you saw at mending the bridge that covered the crater that her departure left in your relationship. 
And you sighed, sinking on the stool, your shoulders hunching. “I didn’t think I was going to be out as late as I was. I’m sorry,”
“Ok, but why go for a hookup anyway?” Alex asked, her hand finding your back and rubbing circles. 
You took another bite of your cookie, chewing it slowly and swallowing hard. 
You weren’t sure you wanted to open up. That you wanted to accept her comfort or her touch, but pushing her away felt… cruel. 
“Paul is trading me to Chicago. He said I’m not progressing, and I don’t fit his scheme. I went out because I needed to blow off some steam. I found out right before the game,”
The words felt like lead in your mouth. He hadn’t even had the guts to tell you himself. Instead, you found out from your manager, with his comments on your performance. 
“That sucks,” Kelley reached across the island to take your hand. 
“Paul is a fucking asshole,” Alex grit out, her hand falling from your back. “You’re better off honestly,” 
There was something else in her voice that you couldn’t quite place. 
“Chicago is going to be lethal with you and Chris,” Kelley hummed, squeezing you three times, before turning towards the cabinets and pulling out a plastic bag. “These have eggs and milk. I made them for you. You deserve it.” 
You instantly dropped the cookie in your hand and reached for the bag of peanut butter chocolate chip goodness. “Why didn’t you pull these out sooner?” 
“Because you snuck into our house at 1:30 am,” Kelley shrugged, leaning on the counter. “After ditching us,” 
“I wasn’t trying to ditch you,” You mumbled, pulling a cookie out of the bag and biting into it. Your eyes slid closed as the chocolaty peanut butter played across your tongue. 
They were nearly as good as the ones Taylor had made you the last time you saw her. 
“You were just trying to get laid so you could forget your problems,” Alex finished for you, frowning. You rolled your eyes, grabbing your phone out from your back pocket and snapping a picture of the cookies. 
Alex sighed heavily, reaching over and brushing a curl from in front of your eyes. “I just worry about you,” 
She promised your parents and older sisters she would look after you when you decided to forgo college and join the league(even if the 2 of you weren’t as close as you once were). She didn’t think letting you sleep your way through the teams was healthy, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was a sign of something deeper going on with you. 
You were always so shy growing up. Even after you told them that you were into women, you had never been so… overt with your interactions. You were so sweet with the girl you took to your senior prom, so nervous around any girl you really liked. 
She wasn’t sure when that changed. 
“I’m doing fine,” You said, taking another bite of the cookie. “You’d be the first to know if I wasn’t,” 
“Promise?” She asked you, more softly. 
Every time she looked at you, she would see the tiny 4-year-old running after her, telling her you were fine after you skinned your knee or elbow. Or 7-year-old you swearing you were good to go after you broke your arm surfing a too-big wave. 
“With my pinky,” 
You held your finger up for good effect, and she linked hers with yours. 
“You guys are disgustingly adorable,” Kelley hummed, sliding you a glass of milk. “Now eat up, I want to actually sleep tonight,” 
OoOoOoO
Twitter wasn’t one of Taylor’s favorite social media apps. It was a pit of anxiety-inducing posts and hateful opinions, and she genuinely made an effort to stay away. 
But after watching your soccer game, she couldn’t help herself. 
It had been a humid night in Florida (according to the commentary team). You kept lifting your shirt to wipe the sweat out of your eyes, and your curls had been wild by the end of the second half. 
The grainy stream hadn’t been clear enough for her. It hadn’t done your abs justice so Taylor had relented to the bird app. To pictures taken by people who were actually at the stadium, and things spiraled from there. 
It should have made her feel… shameful that she was scrolling through photos of you, looking for one that showed the moment you lifted your shirt and maybe when you gave your jersey away. She should feel bad that she was looking for the moment you put your abs on full display. 
But she didn't. 
She had been slightly obsessed since you sent her a bathroom mirror picture after the game the US had played against Canada, your shirt pulled up to your chin to show off the perfect impression of a cleat on your skin. And getting to see them in person in her kitchen had only made things worse.
Maybe it was slightly more than slightly…
If you didn’t want her to look, you certainly wouldn’t have sent her the picture, but still. With the parade of women that always seemed to be surrounding you, she wasn’t sure that you had really given it that much thought. 
She sighed, scrolling through the feed, pausing on a picture that had been taken of you after the game. 
She really shouldn’t be this invested in you, not when your reputation was that of a player. 
She didn’t want to be played. Not again. 
But you were different with her. You weren’t the arrogant soccer player posing for photos, or winking at fans. You were sweet and charming and it took almost no effort to make you blush. 
And… she groaned, swiping to the next picture. 
Your arm was slung low across a girl's back as you guided her into a car, a wide smirk pulling at your lips. It left nothing of your plans to the imagination, but maybe that’s why you had done it. 
You wanted to world to think you were a fuck boy. You wanted them to believe that you had an impenetrable shell. 
She rolled her eyes. 
She knew differently. 
That didn’t mean that it didn’t send jealousy through her veins when she saw the pictures, even if she didn’t really have the right to be jealous. 
She sighed again, scrolling past the pictures. 
At least she knew that you were still technically single (though that might have actually been worse). 
Her phone buzzed in her hand, and she grabbed the message from the top of the screen. 
It was a picture of a bag of cookies.
Soccer Hottie: Kelley made me cookies. They weren’t as good as yours
She smiled at the screen, her jealousy melting. Though she was slightly disappointed a picture of your face hadn’t been included. 
I can make you more when you visit me
Soccer Hottie: I’d like that 😘. I’ll have to check my schedule. 
At least she got a part of you that none of your hookups did. She got to see the things you cared about. She got to see your likes and dislikes. 
That was more than any of your hookups would ever get, and that made it easier to be your friend. 
*****
June 2016
I watched from a distance as you Made life your own
“You know I hate this game,” You sighed, resting your chin on your hand and staring at the Scrabble board. 
It was the same expression you made when you stared at the stupid app Taylor made you download so you could play her, except no one was ever there to heckle you while you tried to figure out what your next move should be. 
She also didn’t rush you or set a timer so you couldn’t take all day. 
“It’s better than Monopoly,” Emily shrugged, extending her legs so her feet were resting in Rose’s lap. “Last time we played there was a fistfight,” 
Rose hummed, squeezing Emily’s foot and shifting the tiles on her little ledge. “That’s why we switched to monopoly deal,” 
Board games were a staple during the downtime at camp, and this one was no different. With Rose (and Emily by default since they started dating) as your roommate(s), you had been roped into a quick Scrabble game while you all waited for team bonding. 
She reached out and placed 4 of her pieces, forming the word Focus around your word Cracker.
You frowned. You had been planning to make the word cutter, but now your c was gone and there was no way for you to connect to Emily’s R on the other side (though you weren’t sure exactly what word she had created considering the two center letters kept flipping in your head). 
You liked Monopoly better. It didn’t make your head hurt so much. 
Plus it was one of the few games where you always kicked Alex’s ass. 
“I still think you two have an unfair advantage over me,” you muttered, puffing out your cheek and pulling out your phone. You smiled as you scrolled to a very familiar contact. 
Emily’s eyebrows furrowed. “What are you doing?” 
“Leveling the playing field,” You shot her a wide smirk, as the ringing of the FaceTime app stopped and the little boop that meant your favorite person had answered sounded through the room. “Hey Scrabble queen,”
“Hey, what’s up?” Her lips ticked up in a smile that she only used when she was with you, and you saw an unfamiliar painting and a microphone behind her.
She must be at the studio. 
You knew she was working on an album, though you’d been reluctant to hear any spoilers. You didn’t want to hear about a new… love interest. You didn’t think you could take it, and you needed to focus if the team was going to do well at the Olympics. 
“I need your help,” You pouted at the phone, making your eyes as big and innocent as you could. “Im shitty at scrabble and I don’t want to lose to Rosie and Emily,”
Taylor rolled her eyes at you. 
“Hey! Why do you get to phone a friend!?” Emily exclaimed, reaching for the phone, and the semi-familiar voice on the other end. “Is it the person who was with you last time I called?” 
You shrugged nonchalantly, shifting so she couldn’t steal your phone without looking at your tiles (thereby disqualifying her). “Because I’m dyslexic,” 
“You’re getting better actually. You got a triple word last week,” Taylor said, and your eyes darted back toward her. You hadn’t told her it was really Kelley who saw the triple word yet. “Can you show me the board and your letters please?” 
“You didn’t answer my question, is this mystery girl?” Emily cut back in, even as Rose held her foot so she didn’t try to tackle you to see who you had called. 
“She’s not a mystery,” You scrunched your nose and flipped the camera, giving Taylor a good view of the board. “She’s my friend,” 
Rose raised her eyebrow at you. “Then what’s her name, you know so we can call her something else?” 
“Taylor,” You answered with an easy shrug, not really thinking about it. 
You doubted they’d make the connection anyway. 
Not unless Taylor said something incriminating, and you doubted she would considering how careful she was. 
“Ok, I think I’ve got it. I’ll text you the next couple of moves,” Taylor said, looking sideways over the phone and nodding. “I’ll talk to you later, I’ve gotta go,” 
“Thank you!” You flipped the camera around and sent her a goofy smile.
“Anytime,” She mirrored your smile and blew you a little kiss. “Talk to you later babe,” 
You caught the kiss and waved, staring at the phone for a very long second even after it had gone back to your Lock Screen. 
It made your chest feel warm that even when she was busy, she answered your calls. That she always made time for you. 
“If she’s your friend, then you have one hell of a crush,” Emily said, drawing you back to the moment. 
You blinked back up at the pair, the warm feeling in your chest replaced with sudden anxiety. “What?” 
“She called you babe,” Rose supplied, her voice very soft like she was afraid to startle you. 
They all knew of your… reluctance to settle down, and she couldn’t help but feel like there was a deeper reason behind it that they were all overlooking. 
Emily snorted, not catching the hesitance in Rose's voice. “And you stared at the phone after you hung up for a solid 30 seconds,” 
Red immediately flooded your cheeks, and your hand clenched at your side. “We’re just friends,” 
Even if you enjoyed the flirting and your feelings were slowly surpassing the boundaries of friendship. She would never want someone like you. 
You were just a kid compared to her, bumbling your way through your career and fucking it up at every turn. 
Plus she was straight. 
It was too cliche for you to handle. 
“Ok,” Rose conceded, shooting Emily a very serious look to not push you more. 
It never turned out well when they pushed. 
“It’s still your turn,” Emily said, her voice also going soft, gesturing towards the scrabble board. “Let’s see how good the mystery Taylor really is,”
You hummed, pulling up the text, and ignoring the little Good luck 😜 that accompanied her instructions. 
Your tongue made its way between your teeth as you read the step-by-step text, each letter separated by a double space, and you slowly reached for the letter tiles and slid them into place, forming the word Resonate with the help of two of Emily’s words and one of Roses. 
“Ha, a quadrupole word,” You cheered, typing out a thank you text to Taylor as Emily groaned. 
Rose rolled her eyes, still smiling softly at you.“And let me guess, it’s the easiest one she sent you?” 
She hadn’t seen you this… engaged in a long time. She hadn’t seen you so… happy, not since you started playing at North Carolina, and she hadn’t seen you show more interest than a quick one-night stand. 
“Yep,” You popped the p and smiled wickedly at them. “read it and weep losers,”
“You’re only winning because of the mystery scrabble queen,” Emily pouted. “What, does she have an entire empire made of word blocks too?”
“She’s not a fucking mob boss. She’s just a friend, and I told you, it’s fair because it levels the playing field,” You shrugged, failing to mention that the butterflies Taylor sent swirling in your chest were much more than friendly. 
It wasn’t like they hadn’t beaten you each time you played this game before. “Now make your move before I sic the time turtle on you and you have to draw a wicked wango card,” 
Rose raised her eyebrow at you. “Since when did you watch Friends? 
“Yeah! I thought you hated anything remotely scripted besides superhero movies and Indiana Jones?” Emily added, crossing her arms indignantly. “It’s how you get out of literally every movie bonding night,” 
Your shoulders lifted and fell, and red bled into your cheeks. 
You hadn’t really minded the comedy eating kettle corn with Taylor in a massive pillow fort, though Meredith and Olivia pawing at your bowl while Taylor pouted at their adamant ignoral of her had made it all worth it (they had been very unhappy about the quick baths she made them take because they were covered in flour from your little food fight). 
Plus you thought that Bamboozled was probably the only game show that wouldn’t put you to sleep (you agreed with Joey that it wasn’t that complicated). 
“Friends doesn’t really have a plot,” You muttered, looking down at your phone and moving your tiles around so you didn’t have to think about your next move. “And it’s funny so it’s not so bad,” 
Rose made a low noise, poking Emily with her toes, telling her not to push.
She had a feeling that your sudden interest in the show had more to do with who you were watching it with than the comedy. And she wouldn’t be the one to meddle in what was your first real relationship. 
She wouldn’t let Emily either. 
The wrath that would meet them from all the vets and your older sister was not something she wanted to deal with. 
“Come on Sonny, make your move,”
******
July 2016
But I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared, and you're turning away
2016 was the summer of the apocalypse. 
There was no other way to put it. 
You never thought a singular PK could turn your team and the rest of the world against you. But it did. 
You only got to play the last 10 minutes of the game, and your only job was to make the penalty. 
But you missed it. Badly. 
Jill made it clear before you were even back in the locker room that you would need to earn your way back. Roary had benched you as soon as you returned to Chicago. But the worst was the media, and the slew of hate that had been unleashed on you the second your foot left the ball. 
It rivaled the hate Hope was getting, and that was saying something. 
You blew out a long breath, took another swig of your lukewarm beer and slowly kicked the ball back toward the PK spot. 
One of the few benefits to Chicago was that the high school soccer field was within walking distance from your shitty apartment. The other was that the high school soccer field stayed open all night and had good lighting. 
You took another swig before gently setting the bottle next to four of its already empty friends, and setting up for the kick. It should have concerned you that the ball was slightly blurry, or that you were a bit wobbly on your feet, but it didn’t.  
Not when you so clearly saw your path to regaining your future. 
You rolled your neck, squaring your shoulders and looking from the ball to the net. You could imagine the thousands of people screaming, and the keeper jockeying in her line, waiting for you. 
You took another breath, leaning forward. You shuffled your feet, starting the countdown in your head. 
5
4
3
2
But just before you got to 1, your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling your focus from the upper right corner of the net just as you fell into step for the pk. The ball connected with your foot at the wrong angle, and was sent flying into the stands instead of towards goal. 
“Fuck,” You muttered, running a hand through your hair and pulling the offending device from your back pocket. 
Blondie👱🏻‍♀️🎤: Hey, you ok? They said you weren’t on the bench, but didn’t give a reason.
You couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at your lips when you saw Taylor’s contact on your Home Screen, even if you had to squint to make out her message. 
She was one of the only people who was still talking to you after the Olympics. One of your only friends who hadn’t ditched you. 
She liked you for you, and what you did on the pitch didn’t change that. Maybe that was why you were so drawn to her. Why the hangouts had gotten more frequent? 
Maybe you just liked hanging out with her.
You took three steps back towards your drinks, plopping down and grabbing your beer. 
I’m good. Cosch bwndnwd me bdcajwe hd thihls I zuck.
You swallowed the last of the sudsy liquid as you hit send, lining it up with the others and reaching for a new one as 3 little dots appeared. 
Blondie 👱🏻‍♀️🎤: ???
You sighed, cracking the bottle open with your cleat and typing out your response. Your fingers slipped across the screen, and it took you a second to find the send button. 
Hd said I’k not aolowed badk pn the vrncn until I deserve to bd a profrsakonal spcver player abIN/
The message instantly went to read, but the three little dots didn’t appear again. 
You shrugged, taking a long sip of your beer (nearly downing the entire thing) before you placed the bottle next to its partners and began to kick a new ball toward the penalty spot, your phone dangling dangerously between your fingers. 
You let out a long breath, lining up for the shot, your eyes lifting from the fuzzy ball to the equally fuzzy net. 
But your phone buzzed in your hand before you could step into the kick. You lazily held it up to your face, clicking the accept button when you saw the FaceTime logo. 
“Whad upp T-Swizzle,” You smiled dopily at Taylor’s face as she appeared on the screen, the stadium lights glinting off of your glassy eyes. 
“Hey, are you ok? Your texts were kinda crazy,” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing with worry at your slurred speech. 
“‘M great!” You cheered, spinning in place as if to show how great you were. 
Her frown deepened. “You sound drunk?”
You rapidly shook your head. “‘M nottt,” Your voice caught on the last t, and you quietly stared at her for a long second before your dopey smile was back.  “‘M practicin’ PKs. Wanna see?” 
“No, Y/n,” She said, trying to sound stern. But it was too late, you had already flipped the camera around to face the goal. 
“Those arrr the ones I made,” You slurred, the camera shaking violently as you tried to focus on each of the balls that had made it to the back of the net. 
The camera then suddenly jerked, panning towards the bleachers. “And those arr the ones I missed. I missed a lot. I suckkkk,” 
Several balls were haphazardly strewn across a set of rusting bleachers and lying by a dilapidated fence. But what really caught Taylor’s attention was a silver and gold cardboard box and a pile of empty bottles sitting at the gate.
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She knew that things had been difficult for you, but she never expected you to get drunk and go to a random field at night. Or to make your way through a case of beer like she was sure you had. “Y/n turn the camera around,”
It took you a second to flip the camera back around, but your now somber face met her when you finally got it. 
She tried not to think about how adorable your pout was (an expression you rarely ever used when you were sober). 
“How many beers have you had?” She asked you seriously. 
“Few?” you shrugged, squinting towards where the box was and biting your lip. “Almost gone,”
“I can see that,” She breathed out, trying to stay calm. “How big of a pack did you buy?” 
Your grin returned, and you threw your arms out wide, spinning in a circle. “The biggggest,”
“Y/n,” Taylor sighed again, waiting for you to get back in frame. “Where are you? I’m gonna send a car to pick you up,”
“No. I gotta clean up annd practice so I can play,” You said, looking away from the camera, biting your lip. “I gotta nooot suckkk,” 
“You don’t suck,” Taylor said, already pulling up her contacts. “Tell me where you are, and I will help you clean up before the car arrives,” 
The line went quiet for a long second, and she looked up to see your eyebrows furrowed. She wasn’t sure if you were just trying to think, or if you were trying not to cry (it was hard to tell with how red and glassy your eyes were). 
“Y/n?”
“I don’ suck?” Your bottom lip wobbled. 
She shook her head. 
“No. You missed a shot. It happens to everyone,” She repeated your own words back to you, ones she had heard you speak hundreds of times. Ones she meant with all of her heart. “Now tell me where you are. I’m worried about you,” 
You buzzed your lips. “The high school field by my apartment,” 
“Ok,” She said, feeling the knot in her chest loosen as she scrolled through her contacts and sent a frantic text to her security. Jason would send someone to get you. Someone who would keep you safe. “I have someone coming to get you,” 
“I gotta clean up,” You poked your bottom lip out, stumbling over to the ball bag and struggling to get it open one-handed. 
“I’ll stay on the line with you while you do,” Taylor said, keeping her voice soothing, and calm, even as she sent more frantic texts to her security and assistant moving her schedule around for the next few days. “And Tony will help once he gets there,” 
You paused, from where you were sloppily gathering up balls and looked at the camera with wide eyes. “Iron man?” 
Taylor resisted the urge to roll her eyes or coo at the adorable expression (though she did store it away in her memory bank for later recollection). “No, not the same Tony,” 
You frowned, stumbling towards the stands and using a foot using push the balls to the bottom so you could gather them. 
You tripped as you stepped up onto the silver seating, intent on getting the stray ball you had sailed to the top of the stands. “Nashatasha wass cuter anyway,” 
“Yeah,” Taylor said slowly,her eyes scrunching as you nearly tumbled down the open side of the bleachers. “Why don’t you sit down? Tony is almost there to help you anyway. He can get the rest of the balls,”
All she needed was for you to fall out of the stands and hurt yourself. 
Your tongue poked between your teeth like you were thinking before the phone shook violently as you plopped down onto the bleachers and rested your chin on your hand. “Kay,”
She blew out a breath as you blinked lazily at her. “Don’t worry, Tony will be there soon,” 
She said the words for herself as much as she said them for you. She didn’t like the idea of you being drunk and alone on a random high school field in the middle of the night. 
She needed you to be safe, and ok. It was a protective instinct that curled around her chest in a way that it had only for one other person. 
Tony would be there soon, and they would get you back to your apartment and she would be able to breathe again. 
OoOoOoOo
“Alright, I think I’ve got her all settled,” A salt and pepper-haired man said, as he tucked your Arsenal blanket under your chin as you snorted softly on the couch. His mirror-finish aviators hung from his v-neck shirt, something more casual than anything Taylor had ever seen him wear before. 
It was a testament to how quickly he had abandoned his vacation to help her (and you by extension), and for that, she would be forever grateful. 
“Thank you, Tony,” She said softly, keeping her voice down so she didn’t wake you. “Really,” 
“It’s no problem ma’am,” He waved her off, his southern drawl calming whatever worry was still left in her chest. “I was happy to help when Jason contacted me, and Ms. Morgan is a very cooperative drunk,” 
You had been incredibly well-behaved when Tony arrived, allowing him to guide you into the back of the SUV and then giving him your apartment address and your keys with no arguments. You didn’t even complain when he basically carried you up the stairs because you were too wobbly to walk. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was on the phone with you, or if you were just too tired to fight.
“Hopefully we don’t have more of these encounters to compare it against,” Taylor said, glancing at the text from her personal assistant. “Casey texted me, my plane is ready, so I should be there fairly soon,” 
Tony made a low noise of agreement, placing a glass of water and an Advil on the coffee table next to your sleeping form, and taking a few steps back to sit on one of the stools, shifting so he could check that the three distinct dog bowls below him also had water. 
The three huskies had refused to leave your side as soon as he got you laid down on the couch. 
“I’ll stay outside her door until you arrive in case there are any issues,” Tony said, looking around your tiny apartment yet again to make sure that there wasn’t anything else he could do so that you would be comfortable when you woke up. “Would you like to stay on the line?” 
Taylor nodded. “That would be great,” 
Even though he was there, she wanted to stay too. She needed to be present in case you woke up. She didn’t want you to feel alone, especially when it seemed your team had abandoned you. 
Tony stood, plugging in your phone and setting it up on the coffee table so that Taylor had a clear view of your sleeping face. 
“I’ll be just outside the door, and my phone is on in case you need me,” He said, squatting so he could look into the camera, and send her a small smile. “I’ll see you when you get here,” 
She sent him a wave as he disappeared, leaving the two of you alone (save for the gray huskie who had wiggled under your arm and the black one who was curled up behind your head). 
She let out a long breath, watching the slow rise and fall of the edge of your Arsenal blanket. 
You looked so young in your sleep.
You were young, she had to remind herself. You were barely 19, even if you wanted to act like you were so much older. Even if you had more responsibilities and people scrutinizing you than most other people your age. 
You shifted, pulling the blanket closer to your face, one eye sleepily blinking open. 
“Tay?” 
She hummed, keeping her voice soft. “Yeah, I’m still here,” 
You shifted, wrapping your arm tighter around the gray husky in your arms. 
“Don’t ever leave,” You murmured the words into the dog's fur so softly that Taylor almost didn’t hear them. “I like you too much. Even if I don’t deserve you,” 
“I like you too,” She smiled gently at the words that sent butterflies swirling in her chest. “Go back to sleep,”
She had liked you too for a very long time, even if she was still hesitant to admit it. 
“Noooo,” You pouted, forcing your eyes further open to look at her. They were breathtakingly blue, just like your older sisters. “I like you like Alex likes Kelley, but I’m not supposed to. You’re too good,” 
Her eyebrows furrowed. 
Why weren’t you supposed to like her? What did you mean that she was too good? 
“And you’re straight,” You added, shifting so your nose was hiding behind the dog in your arms. 
“You can like me Y/n,” She murmured, wanting nothing more than to reach out and brush your messy curls from in front of your sleepy eyes. “I like you too,”
It wouldn’t be worth it to argue with your assumption of her sexuality now anyway. You were too drunk to remember in the morning. 
Your eyes blinked open wider in an adorable doe-eyed expression. “Really?”
“Yes,” She nodded, her lips ticking up impossibly more at your adorableness. “Now sleep. I’ll see you soon,” 
You made a low noise, your eyes sliding closed as you snuggled your nose into the dog under your arm. 
She waited for your breathing to even out, (and several minutes after that) before she clicked off the call to catch her flight. She could watch your sleep for the rest of your lives, and still not get enough. 
She wondered if you were dreaming of her, or of soccer balls and shots that you didn’t miss. Or maybe you were dreaming of a world where one kick didn’t have your teammates and friends turning their backs on you. 
Maybe one day she would ask you. 
OoOoOoO
The first thing you noticed as you came into consciousness was that your mouth felt like it was full of cotton and your head felt like Ashlyn had used it as a ball during punting practice, or like Megan had used it to practice her perfect PKs.
You groaned, shifting on the couch, accidentally displacing the three dogs that had cuddled in around you at some point. 
You had no idea why you were sleeping on the couch, instead of in the king-sized bed you had purchased so the 4 of you had room. 
Come to think of it, you didn’t actually remember how you got here. 
The last thing you remembered was cracking open your 4th beer and gathering your balls so you could shoot more penalties. You didn’t exactly like how the sudsy liquid tasted, but it did an excellent job at dulling the ache in your chest that had settled as soon as you took that fucking PK. 
The ache that went ignored by your sister and your teammates who were too wrapped up in their own grief to even check on you. 
You groaned, running a hand through your hair. At least you remembered to close the blinds, and put out Advil and water for yourself? 
You pushed yourself up, closing your eyes when your apartment spun around you, and pressing your fingers to the bridge of your nose. 
Three cold noses nudged your skin, and you slowly worked your eyes open and reached for the tall glass. 
“I’m ok guys,” You mumbled towards the three dogs sending you worried looks and took a large sip of the still-cool water. “It’s like when I give you guys too many treats,” 
The gray huskie on your left wined, butting her head into your arm. You reached over with your free hand to scratch behind her ear. “I’m ok Art, nothing a good cup of coffee can’t fix,” 
The red dog to your left also nudged you and you rolled your eyes, setting the glass down so you could scratch his head too, and you eyed the black dog still contently cuddled into your left leg. 
He was always the most chill of the floof pack, happy to just be in your presence. 
You would be happy to stay here all day. To let them love away the empty feeling that lingered after you like a bad cough. 
You blinked as a knock sounded at your door, the levity in your chest deflating like a popped balloon. 
It was probably one of your teammates coming to scold you for not sitting in the stands at last night's game. For ditching it instead of taking your punishment.  
The knock sounded again, and you blew out a long breath as you forced yourself to your feet. “I’m coming,” 
Artemis and Apollo trailed after you, stopping by the counter like they had been trained, and Orion stayed on the couch, watching over the living room like a centennial. 
You rolled your eyes at him, running a hand through your hair again, trying to at least pretend you were presentable, as you grabbed the door handle (barely even bothered that the deadbolt wasn’t latched)
You froze when you saw a head of blond hair and the bluest eyes you had ever seen instead of one of your teammates. 
“Taylor? What are you doing here?” You frowned, opening the door wider with one hand and rubbing your tired eyes with the other, hoping it would quell the dizziness that actually standing brought on. “Don’t you have a recording thing today?”
“I have a recording thing every day,” She said, stepping closer to the door. “You scared the shit out of me and I needed to come to check on you myself,” 
Your eyebrows furrowed. 
How had you scared her? Did you call her? 
“Sorry. I don’t really remember the details of last night,” You opened the door wider, your hand lingering in your curls. “Do you wanna come in?”
Taylor nodded, stepping closer to you. “I’d like that,” 
Took a step back, looking behind you towards the dogs. 
“The gray one is Artemis and the red one is Apollo. Orion is black and probably hiding out here somewhere, he’s not a big fan of meeting new people,” You gestured towards the husky’s two waiting for their release command. “Do you want to say hello? They won’t jump, but I know you’re more of a cat person,” 
She looked over your shoulder, nodding. “Yeah,” 
You turned towards the dogs, waving across your waist. “Vale, saluda,” 
Art sniffed at you as she pushed herself up and slowly waltzed past you, Apollo close on her tail as they made their way over to Taylor. 
She tensed like she expected them to tackle her, but they didn’t. Apollo politely sniffed at the hand she had extended as Art circled her twice before nudging gently against her leg, asking to be pet. 
“They’re so well-behaved,” Taylor said softly, her fingers winding their way into the soft fur of Art’s neck. 
“Thanks,” You said, watching carefully as Apollo pressed his into Taylor’s other leg, indicating he wanted to be pet too. “They’re pretty mellow for huskies, as long as they've had their exercise,”
Art paused as Taylor’s other hand began to scratch Apollo's back, and you sighed, pointing away from the two of you. “De,”
Yes, they were well-behaved, but their relationship was also similar to the one you shared with your sister. Apollo liked to rile his older sister up, just like you loved to get a rise out of Alex. 
You didn’t think that Taylor would appreciate a play fight breaking out. 
Art sniffed at you, but did as you asked, her nails tapping as she trotted off towards the living room with Apollo at her heels. 
Maybe they would go find Orion and show him the visitor wasn’t so scary. 
“Want a drink?” You asked, awkwardly scratching the back of your neck with one hand and gesturing to the small bar in your kitchen with the other. “I think I have coffee somewhere,”
It was mundane in comparison to Taylor’s full marble kitchen. Small and disheveled on all accounts. 
The linoleum blue counter had a crack running down the center and you knew that both wooden stools wobbled dangerously when they weren’t in the right spot. But Taylor didn’t complain as she followed you. 
“Coffee would be great,” She hummed, and the stools squeaked as she settled onto one and placed her bag on the other. “I think you could use some too after the night you had,”
You shrugged, turning your back on her, pulling the coffee out of the freezer, and settling up the coffee maker. “What happened last night?”
You didn’t turn to look at her, busying yourself in grabbing 2 coffee mugs and a glass and getting the milk and a carton of orange juice from the fridge. You would have offered her a glass too, but considering how often you drank directly from the carton, you didn’t think it was a good idea. 
“Well,” She drew out the word, and you felt her eyes on you as you moved through the kitchen. “I texted you because you weren’t on the bench, and you responded mostly with self-deprecating gibberish, so I called you,” 
You made a low noise in the back of your throat, grabbing your sugar jar and sliding it towards her, but not meeting her eyes. “I was probably a couple beers deep at that point,”
“Just a couple?” You could almost hear her raised eyebrows, and you finally turned to look at her, placing the coffee pot between you. 
You shrugged, smiling impishly as you poured yourself a cup of coffee. “A few more than a couple,”
“Try a 24-pack,” Taylor scoffed, pouring herself her own cup of coffee. “You’re lucky you didn’t get alcohol poisoning,”
You set your coffee on the counter, sucking all the warmth you could from your mug, your blasé mask cracking. 
“I didn’t drink it all last night,” You said, finally meeting her eyes. “I only had like 13 left,”
She sighed, reaching out and catching your hand. “Still,” 
You paused, blowing out a very long breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, or make you fly all the way out here and waste a day,”
Her eyebrows furrowed at the end of your sentence. The rapid turn in conversation. 
“I’m not wasting anything,” She said slowly. “You obviously needed someone and I’m happy I could be here for you,”
You grimaced. You didn’t deserve to have someone there for you. 
You were the one who fucked up the team. The one who ruined everything. 
“Hey,” Taylor squeezed your hand again, drawing your eyes back to her, like she could read your thoughts. “No time I spend with you is a waste,”
Red flooded your cheeks, up to your ears, and you tried to hide it with a sip of your too-hot coffee. 
She smiled gently at you, looking at the microwave clock behind you. “But we can talk about that later. You have to get ready for practice,” 
“I’m not going,” You scoffed, taking another sip. “There’s no point,” 
“Y/n, avoiding practice isn’t going to fix what’s happening,” She said, her voice patient.  “It’ll only make it worse,” 
A dark look crossed your features. 
“It can’t get worse,” You said, your voice too calm. Too dangerous. “I’ve already been told I won’t be fielding for the rest of the season, and Mallory Pugh has been called into camp to replace me. My soccer career is over at the ripe old age of 19,” 
Despite your efforts to hide it, she could still hear the misery in your voice. The utter defeat. 
Her head tilted to the side, and she took a strategic sip of her coffee. “I thought you didn’t lose?” 
You shook your head. “This is different,” 
You couldn’t fight the system. Not when it was so dead set on driving you out. 
If only you could be like your perfect older sister. 
“Is it though?” She asked, too nonchalantly. “Prove them wrong. Show up and shove it in their faces,” 
You sighed. You knew exactly what she was doing. You always responded better to challenges than to comfort. 
Plus if you left, you weren’t sure Taylor would be here when you returned, and you preferred spending time with her over a useless practice anyway. 
“And I’ll be waiting here for you after practice,” She added as if sensing one of the reasons for your hesitation. “We can grab some dinner and hang out. But first, you need to go kick some ass. It’ll make you feel better anyway,”
You took another long sip of your coffee, before nodding begrudging. 
She was right. Skipping practice would only make things worse, even if going would suck anyway. 
OoOoOoO
“Rough night?” Christen smirked at you, bumping your shoulder as you jogged onto the practice field, fixing your practice jersey. 
You shrugged, sending the striker a half smile. “Something like that,”
She caught the collar of your practice jersey, peeking at the skin underneath it. “I don’t see any hickeys so it couldn’t have been too bad,” 
You batted her hand away, unable to stop the smile that accompanied your rolled eyes. “I don’t have any. I didn’t hook up last night,”
She raised her eyebrow at you. 
It was rare you skipped a team thing unless it was for a girl, even when you weren’t on the bench. She knew that you had been bedhopping more to cope with the loss at the Olympics and the tenuous situation with both the national team and Chicago that you found yourself in. 
She supposed it was a way for you to distract yourself, even if she didn’t think it was what was best for you. 
“Roary was pissed you weren’t at the game,” She said instead of pushing. You were an adult, and what you did off the field was really none of her business. 
“I know,” You mumbled, stepping into line behind Huerta, scratching the back of your neck, a strange look crossing your face. “I already had a meeting with him. It’s why I missed activation,” 
Christen frowned. “He wasn’t too hard on you, was he?” 
He had a reputation for being… abrasive, and Christen was aware of how many times he had been so with you. 
You shrugged again. It wasn’t like Christen could do something about how awful he was. Plus you knew Christen would report anything you said right back to Alex. 
“No more than usual,” You said, sounding uninterested.  “We actually talked about how I’ve improved since coming back from Rio,” 
While he had assigned you 8 laps after practice, overall the meeting hadn’t gone as badly as you feared. Considering how awful the Red Stars were performing with you not even allowed on the bench, you shouldn’t have been so surprised that he was sticking you back in the starting 11 for the midweek game. 
So despite his critique of your personality and playing style, he had conceded that Chicago scored more when you were on the field to service Christen. You would take it as a win. 
Christen’s eyebrows furrowed, not quite believing you. “That’s good I guess,” 
You made a low noise, watching Sofia run the drill so you knew what was happening. 
It was a simple give-and-go with the midfielders, and a shot on goal. 
It would be easy. 
And frankly, it was easy. 
Your fingers wiggled as you watched Sofia launch the ball just over the crossbar, waiting for the goalkeepers to swap so the striking coach would send you the ball. 
You let yourself sink into the drill, and just as he passed you the ball, it was like your brain turned off. You easily tapped it to Colaprico, skirting around Krueger and turning just in time to receive the through ball the midfielder sent back. 
It only took a little flick of your heel to get past Naeher, and send the ball into the back of the net, and head to the back of the other line with little fanfare. 
“Nice shot,” JJ reached out her hand for a low five as you passed her, and you tilted your chin at her as you passed, a smile playing on your lips. 
Taylor had been right, playing did make you feel better. 
And you didn’t have to think about the butterflies her presence sent flying in your stomach. 
“Maybe you have the Morgan gene after all,” Roary said gruffly, stepping onto the practice pitch, his hand landing heavily on your shoulder.
Your back went straight and the hint of a smile slid off your face. 
“I might be able to make an acceptable attacking midfielder of you yet,” He continued, oblivious to how rigid your posture was. 
Christen cleared her throat, casually stepping between the two of you and forcing him to let go. “That was a really good goal. I bet you and Al could make that work for the national team too,”
“Hm,” You made a low noise of agreement, looking away from her. 
You didn’t want to say that with your reputation, you doubted you would ever get a call up again. You were pretty sure Jill already blacklisted you anyway.
“We’ll have to see about that,” Roary chuckled, and his hand found your shoulder again, squeezing tightly. “A few extra film sessions could help,” 
A shiver ran down your spine. You hated film sessions, especially with Roary, but you nodded anyway. 
It wasn’t like you had a choice. Roary always got what he wanted.
He squeezed your shoulder one more time before heading off to harass someone else, but you knew he would be back. You were one of his favorite targets. 
“You know you don’t have to do sessions with him,” Christen said when he was out of earshot, and you looked away. 
She could never understand that you couldn’t say no to him. That your precariousness with both the Red Stars and the USWNT meant that you couldn’t piss off a coach. It meant that you were at his mercy, even if you didn’t want to admit it. 
“He’s an asshole, but he has some good insights,” You said, watching as JJ ran the opposite side of the drill with Huerta. 
Christen used a finger under your chin to force you to look back at her. “That’s not what I asked you,” 
“I know Chris,” You said with too much force, jerking away from her. “I can handle Dames. Right now, I need all the help I can get to show Jill that I deserve my fucking spot. If he wants to help, then so be it,” 
She paused, her hand still hovering in the air where your chin had been. 
“Ok,” She said slowly, her eyebrows furrowing while she tried to decipher your overreaction. “I just wanted to make sure,” 
You swallowed hard, moving up in line. “I know. Sorry, I snapped. I was up late,”
Her lips tilted into a teasing smirk. “Ah yes, you got fucked to get over how Roary fucked you out of your starting spot,”
You threw your head back and groaned, red coloring your cheeks as the line around you erupted in giggles. 
You would never outlive your… reputation, but that was ok because at least it stopped Christen from asking too many questions. Questions that would make their way back to your sister.
They would never believe that the girl who had distracted you wasn’t one you were currently sleeping with anyway. 
“Morgan, you’re up,” The striking coach said, his voice sobering your teammates. “Let’s see if you can do the other half of the drill as well as you did the first,” 
You easily stopped the ball he passed your way, winking towards McCaffrey. “I’ll do better. There’s a reason I’m a midfielder after all,” 
You would have to thank Taylor for making you practice. She was right, it did make you feel better, and you were on your way to proving why you were one of the best in the world.
OoOoOoO
“I can’t believe you’ve never had a burrito before,” You said, biting into your chicken and queso concoction. 
It had been an easy decision to grab Chipotle after practice, one you hadn’t really thought about until the text came through that Taylor didn’t know what to order. 
That she had never been to one of your favorite post-practice restaurants. 
“I’ve just never gotten around to it. They’re not common in Nashville,” She hummed, delicately biting into her own streak and bean creation. “How was practice,” 
You scrunched your nose but decided that pointing out that Chipotle was a national chain (and that you and Emily had eaten at one when you played Australia in Nashville) wasn’t worth it. You felt like there was something… off about her relationship with food, but you didn’t know if you were close enough to be able to bring it up. 
You honestly didn’t know if you were just friends, because the way she looked at you felt like you were edging on something more. 
“Fine,” Your shoulder lifted and fell as you took another bite and swallowed. You grabbed a chip from your bag, shoving it in the top of your burrito. “Apparently I’m starting tomorrow,”
Taylor frowned. “That feels like quite the jump from being left off the roster,” 
She wasn’t entirely sure how the whole selection process worked for roster and starting lineups (despite her recent research into the topic), but it felt very weird for you to go from essentially not on the team to one of the people who would carry it through the game. 
You made a low sound of agreement, swallowing. “I have a feeling it was ownership’s call,” 
Taylor raised an eyebrow at you, clearly asking for a more comprehensive explanation. 
“We lost like 6-0,” You explained. “And our media guy said that the attendance dropped by 40% because I wasn’t on the bench,” 
It was one of the few concessions that Roary made. The team hadn’t been able to break through North Carolina’s midfield without your creativity or ability to draw defenders. They hadn’t been able to supply the forwards or stop the line-breaking balls Zerboni kept sending through, and ultimately it led to a complete creaming of your team. 
They needed you on the field, no matter how loath he was to admit it. That’s why you assumed Armin had overridden the coach's judgment. 
The team brought in less money when they lost. 
Taylor nodded in understanding and the two of you lapsed into silence, slowly munching on your respective burritos. 
“I can’t believe you have a game 2 days apart,” She said after a few minutes. “Doesn’t seem to leave you a lot of time to recover,”
You tilted your head. “The league wants to squeeze in as many matches as they can before the international break,”
“That seems reasonable,” Taylor said, seemingly agreeing with you. 
It didn’t, but the league (and the owners) weren’t really concerned with your health. You were basically a trading card designed to bring them more money. 
You played with the foil around your burrito, biting your lip. “I um… I have an extra pass if you want to come watch,” 
She paused, her grin dipping into a frown. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Going out somewhere isn’t always easy,”
Not that she was sure anyone even knew she was in Chicago. So far, there hadn’t been any talk on social media of her impromptu trip, and she had no intention of that changing. 
She didn’t need the space in front of your apartment becoming a circus. Not with the horrible things the press had been saying about her. 
“The seat is in a box, so no one would see you if you decided you wanted to go, and you can use the player’s entrance,” You explained, trying to seem like you didn’t care what her answer would be. Trying to pretend like you wouldn’t care if she decided not to one. “No cameras are allowed in the tunnels,”
Her lips pressed very tightly together, seemingly seeing through your facade. “I just don’t want to take away from your game,” 
“You can’t distract from the match,” You shrugged. “There will already be crazy speculation because I’m on the roster, and the Camp call-ups haven’t been made public yet,” 
She hummed. She knew that the media that you dealt with was different, but still vicious nonetheless. 
Instead of picking apart your outfit choice or your performances on stage, they tore apart your play. They ripped your soccer skills apart and compared you to your sister at every turn. 
“I think it’s horrible that they’re focusing so much on one play,” 
It was still difficult for her to wrap her head around how a singular moment had seemingly derailed your entire career, but then again a single misconstrued phone call had derailed hers. 
You shrugged. It was nothing when compared to what Taylor was dealing with. “At least they’re attacking me for something I actually did. I ended my soccer career with a single kick. You’re being punished for a man’s lies,”
Taylor nodded slowly, taking another bite of her burrito. 
She didn’t think either circumstance was fair, but that was the position that you were both in. You were trapped by your coaches and she was trapped by perception. 
The only thing either of you could do was control the things you could, and enjoy the ride. Everything would even out eventually. 
“I’ll come to your game,” She said, not just because she knew it would make you happy, but also because she wasn’t ready to leave yet, and going to the game would mean spending more time with you. 
Plus, there was no way she would miss seeing you so in your element in person. Not when it was so ridiculously attractive on screen. 
Your whole face lit up. “Really?”
She couldn’t help but smile too. “Yeah, it should be fun,” 
Even if the paparazzi got wind of it, seeing you look so happy for the first time since you returned from Brazil would make it worth it. 
“It’ll be great. I’ll even make sure to score for you,” You said, wiggling excitedly as you cleaned up your burrito wrapper and held the bag up for her as Art and Apollo both sniffed at it (she was shocked they hadn’t even begged for scraps earlier). 
“If you do, you’ve gotta do the backflip celebration,” She chucked, tossing the aluminum wrapped from her burrito into the bag. “That one’s my favorite,” 
You paused, your grin morphing into a mischievous smirk at the mention of your very famous goal celebration. 
“For sure,” You said with your signature wink, and Taylor couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “I’ll do a double if I get a hat trick, just for you,” 
It took a second for her peels of laughter to dissolve into shorter giggles and for her to catch her breath. It was so strange to have the look you always sent fans directed at her. The look she was sure had landed you most of your famous hookups. 
Though it kind of melted her heart that you only used it on her in a comedic sense. That it shifted back to the look she liked to think you saved just for her as soon as her giggles filled the air. 
“Do you want to watch something before dinner?” You asked, sobering and shifting awkwardly on the couch. “The pups and I thought a pillow fort would be cool,” 
Taylor hummed, leaning her chin on her hand. “I think that sounds incredible,” 
The little fist pump you gave was adorable, as was the way the dogs hopped around you, and in that moment she knew. 
When she looked back on this moment, it would be the one she would point to as the moment she knew she was in love. 
OoOoOoO
Taylor had been to a lot of places in her life. She had played down the road from Seat Geek Stadium in Chicago many times. 
But she had never gotten to see this side of the city. 
She had never gotten to be normal and watch a game without hordes of people screaming for her attention. She hadn’t even needed to use the special player entrance. The stadium attendants had escorted them to the box with zero fanfare, and she felt safe sitting in the open area of the box with the promise that the cameras rarely panned it. 
She didn’t even regret not bringing extra security like she thought she would. 
Her heart also fluttered each time you glanced up at the box, smiling impossibly wider each time she waved.  
It was like the little lanyard pass you had given her (and Tony) was an invisibility cloak.
It was an addictive feeling to be so… free. To be hidden to the rest of the world but so visible to you. 
“She’s really on fire tonight,” Tony said, glancing over at the game clock. 
You had only been on the field for 15 minutes, and you had already scored twice. 
“She’s got a lot to prove,” Taylor hummed, leaning forward in her seat as you slotted another better ball between the two opposing team’s defenders. “This is the first time she’s gotten to play since the Olympics,” 
You had already told her that you probably wouldn’t get to play the full first half anyway. Your coach was stuck on the penalty you took in Brazil just like the rest of the world was, even if Taylor didn’t see a point in basing your playtime off of it. 
That meant you had limited minutes to prove to them that you deserved to be on the pitch. To make them regret not starting you in other games, 
Tony’s head tilted as number 23 played a quick pass back to you and the ball buried itself into the back of the net with just the tap of your toes for your 3rd goal of the evening. 
It looked easy. Fluid. Even when he knew it was anything but. 
You smiled as the crowd went absolutely wild, tipping an invisible hat towards the bench. 
“I think it has more to do with who’s here,” Tony countered, gesturing towards where you winking towards the player's box was replaying on the Jumbotron. 
She shrugged, ignoring the slight red creeping up her cheeks and his sideways glance. “The team has so much more energy when she’s on the field,” 
Even as the teams got ready to reset, you bounced on your toes, twisting your hips in a way that reminded her of the shake it off dance  and saying words Taylor couldn’t hear to your teammates. Words she was sure were organizing your offense. Words she knew would help you continue to shred your former team, even if she herself wouldn’t understand them (watching a game with you had been like listening to a foreign language as you yelled at the screen, unwilling to translate until it was over). 
“She’s the focal point of their offense,” Tony agreed, deciding not to comment further on Taylor’s blush. “But tonight she’s playing more flashy than she normally plays,” 
Taylor hummed. He was right. 
From what she had seen, you were not generally a selfish player. You liked to serve balls on a platter to make your team look good. You liked to pull defenders and set your strikers up. 
Tonight you hadn’t done that. 
Tonight you had taken the chances for yourself, putting them in the back of the net and making sure the league knew exactly what you were capable of. You wanted to show them how dangerous you could be. 
“She’s proving a point,” Taylor reiterated. 
“I don’t disagree,” Tony said as you slotted a very nice through pass past the first defender, and the second just barely poked it out for a corner kick. You glanced up towards the box as you took your position, a little smirk on your face. “I’m just not sold that she’s only proving a point to the coaching staff, her teammates and the reporters,” 
Taylor’s head tilted. 
It was true that while you didn’t play flashy, you did like to tease the fans (and whoever had caught your eye that week). You knew their obsession with you, and you never missed an opportunity to play it up. 
But this felt different. 
You hadn’t been winking at anyone on the field, or in the stands. The only place you kept looking was over towards the coaching staff and up at her. 
“She doesn’t have anything to prove to me,” She said, sitting back in her chair as your header landed in the keeper's hands. 
Tony smirked. “I know that and you know that,” 
Taylor made a low noise, her eyes flitting to the sideline where the 4th official was getting ready with the sub-board. “I think she knows that too,”
You trudged to the sideline when your number came up, using your jersey to wipe your mouth (flashing your abs to the crowd) and glancing up at the clock. 
Taylor followed your eyes, frowning at the large 25 on the screen. 
It was stupid to take you off when you were playing so well, and the booing from the crowd echoed her sentiment. The fans were about as happy as you looked about coming off, even if it was already expected. 
You ignored your replacement and brushed off the coach's hand, glaring at him as you took the pinny from one of the equipment managers. 
There was an odd friction between you and the man, one that brought out a fierceness and an anger that countered your normally sunny personality. But then again, your personality was much different when you were on the field anyway. 
There was a confidence and swagger about you that made butterflies erupt in her stomach. That made her want you in a way that should make her feel uncomfortable. 
But even now, the way you signed autographs for the fans behind the bench reminded her that you were still you. You were still the sweet and shy, not the cocky character you played on the field (even if she was rather sexy). 
This version of you was the one that melted her heart. 
“She might know that, but I think she wants to impress you anyway,” Tony said, drawing her attention back to him. “It’s cute,” 
Taylor raised an eyebrow at him, clearing her throat and trying to ignore the warmth that moved from her cheeks up to her ears. “Shut up,” 
He chuckled, settling back in his seat, ready for the rest of the game (even if it had considerably slowed down now that you weren’t playing). He had a feeling that he would get to witness many more of your interactions in the future and that he would get to see your insane footwork on the field again if the look on Taylor’s face was anything to go by. 
Getting to see the two of you actually interact together had to be just as adorable, and he was looking forward to it. 
OoOoOoO
You sighed, leaning back on the couch, scratching Orion’s head where he rested it in your lap, just above your air therapy boots, and changing the channel for the 30th time. 
You weren’t actually watching the television, but you thought that some background noise would help alleviate the odd emptiness that had overtaken your apartment. It was quiet in a way you hadn’t expected now that Taylor (and Tony) were gone, and it made you feel like there was a little piece of you missing. 
Post-game recovery was always your least favorite part of the process. It always gave you too much time to think and to worry. To dissect every movement you made on the field. 
But now it also gave you too much time to miss Taylor. 
You understood why she had to leave after a quick congratulations after the game. You knew she was busy and that she needed to be in New York to record. 
That didn’t mean that a part of you didn’t wish she had stayed. 
You shook your head, shifting on the couch (much to Orion's annoyance). 
You weren’t supposed to get attached to Taylor. To people in general, really. 
Experience taught you that they would all leave eventually, no matter what they said or how much they promised you they wouldn’t. 
Your parents forgot about your existence when Alex started getting called up to the U20 team. Alex left you for college and was too wrapped up in her new life to remember you existed either. Your friends all left when they realized that you weren’t worth the effort.
 And Taylor…
She would leave too when she found out about the feelings you harbored for her. 
She would write a song about how you ruined your friendship because you were too selfish to accept that she would never feel like you did. Even if she didn’t, she would leave once she saw how fucked up you really were. 
Still, the little voice in your brain fixated on the chemistry between the two of you. On the moments where you caught her staring at your abs during the game, or how you would swear she was staring at your lips when you met her in the tunnel afterward. 
But she couldn’t like you that way, and if she did it was something more than a sexual curiosity. 
You blew out another breath. 
It wasn’t that you hadn’t crossed that line with your friends before, you had, but you didn’t want it to be like that with Taylor. You didn’t want her to be a fuck buddy or a one night stand that she would regret later. 
You couldn’t cross that line without her leaving you, but you weren’t even sure if there was a line to cross. Hell, you had never had a real relationship so you weren’t even sure if you had already crossed it. 
Did friends do the things you and Taylor did? Did friends fly cross country to help? Did they cuddle in pillow forts? 
You were just… lost. 
You had never felt so… attached before. 
You let your head fall back on the couch with a low thump. You didn’t know what to do, and you couldn’t call the person you normally would (Kelley) because she would tell Alex. 
You grabbed your phone from the edge of the couch, scrolling through your contacts until you found one of the few who weren’t ignoring you for missing the PK. One of the few who you trusted (even if you would get the shit teased out of you). 
You paused, your finger hovering over Emily’s picture. 
She would know what to do. She always knew what to do. 
It took you another second to gain the courage to actually press the call button, and you worried your bottom lip as it started to ring. 
She was definitely going to make fun of you. 
“I need your help,” You said as soon as Emily’s face appeared on the screen. 
“Hello Emily, how are you? I’m fine, thank you so much for asking,” 
“Emily,” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, but she just raised her eyebrows expectantly in response. Your shoulders sank. “Hello Emily, how are you?” 
“I’m doing great,” She smiled cheekily back at you. “Now what’s up?”
You ran a hand through your hair, rubbing over the short curls at the back of your neck, trying to mask how nervous you were. 
“I..-“ You stuttered, looking away. “There’s a girl, and I like her, but I have no clue what’s happening or what’s supposed to happen next,” 
She squinted at you. “Are you dating this girl?”
“No,” You breathed out, dragging your hand from your hair to press into your forehead. “I don’t think so. She’s my friend. She’s straight, but there’s all this weird tension, and I’m not sure if she would ever want to date me. I doubt it, cause like I said she’s straight. But she’s really really pretty and we cuddle and I like her a lot but i-“ 
“Y/n,” Emily said, cutting you off mid-ramble, a playful smile pulling at her lips. 
You blinked at her. “Yeah?”
“Let’s just start at the beginning,” She leaned forward, towards the phone, accentuating each syllable. “And talk at a pace where I can actually understand you,” 
“I…I got drunk and missed a game,” You swallowed down your blush and looked away from her raised eyebrow.  “She flew to Chicago to see me because she was worried, and I bought her her first burrito-,” 
“She’s never had a burrito before? What kind of person hasn’t had a burrito?” Emily snorted, and you felt the tension in your chest relax a little. 
You shrugged. “She said she never had one before. She liked it a lot,”
Emily’s head tilted in question, but she waved her hand. “Ok, carry on with your story,” 
You swallowed hard, focusing on how your fingers dug into the spot at the back of your neck“She came to check on me and convinced me to go to practice. I bought her a burrito, and we had Thai for dinner. 
“Did she sleep over?” She asked you, her pointer finger tapping her bottom lip. 
You nodded slowly. “Yeah. The huskies cuddled up with us in a pillow fort and we both fell asleep to survivor,” 
Emily sighed, sending you a pointed look. That wasn’t what she had been asking. “But you didn’t sleep together?” 
Red instantly colored your cheeks, and the pads of your fingers dug further into the muscles at the base of your skull. “Not in the um… traditional sense,” 
You looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes. You couldn’t have Taylor in that way. She didn’t want you. 
And if you crossed that boundary (like you had with only one other person who was a friend) then you knew you would lose her. 
You weren’t ready for that. 
But at the same time, you didn’t know how to not cross it. Not with the feelings still bubbling in your chest. 
Emily’s eyes narrowed. “Is she still there?” 
“No, she had to go back to New York after the game,” You shook your head. “And we’re going to meet up again while you all are at came because there’s a break,” 
Despite how much you didn’t want her to go, you understood that she had responsibilities and music to record, but that didn’t stop the way your chest ached now that she was gone. 
It didn’t stop the confusion racing around your brain. 
Emily stared at you like you had grown 3 heads. “A girl flew to Chicago for you, waited at your shitty apartment while you were at practice, let you bring her lunch and take her out to dinner, then attended a shitty Red Stars game and you still don’t know if she’s into you,” 
You sighed, weaving your fingers through the too-long curls at the base of your neck and tugging. 
“She’s my friend, Emily,” You grit out. 
She raised an eyebrow at you. “The same friend who answers every time you call her,” 
You tugged harder. “You don’t understand,”
Taylor was like that with all of her friends. She made everyone feel like they were the only person she could see. The only person who mattered when she was with them. 
“I understand just fine,” She snorted. “You’re such a dumbass,” 
You sent her a withering glare. “Emily be serious, please,”
She held her hand up in defense. “I am being serious. You’ve been on at least 2 dates, and she invited you to her place. All before the two of you have hooked up. If that doesn’t scream dating, or the desire to be dating, then I don’t know what will,”
You shook your head, dragging your fingers up through your hair and down your face. 
This was why you hadn’t wanted to call Emily. Why Kelley or Alex would have been a much better option. 
“This is not why I called you,” You mumbled. 
“Then what is?” She asked, sounding amused. 
“I…-“ You bit your lip and finally looked up at her, meeting her eyes through the phone. “I don’t know how any of this works, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do next,” 
“Well, at some point a conversation should happen where you define what you two are doing,” She said slowly, her voice turning soft but serious. “but other than that, I think you just go with it,”
You squinted. “Just go with it?”
What was her brilliant advice to your crisis? To just… let whatever was going to happen happen. 
“Yeah, if you’re into it and she’s into it, just be into it, together,” She shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be complicated,” 
Part of you wanted to yell that it already was complicated. That you couldn’t cross a line and lose her like you’d lost everyone else. But you didn’t. 
“Ok,” You said. “Thank you,” 
Emily smiled brilliantly back at you. “No problem, I’ll see you soon,”
You stared at the black screen of the phone as she ended the call. 
Maybe she was right. Maybe you just had to go with it and trust your gut. 
Maybe it would all be ok if you didn’t overthink it. That’s why you were good at hookups after all wasn’t it? 
623 notes · View notes
infictionalwonderland · 8 months
Text
celebrity masterlist,
chris evans —
nothing yet.
sebastian stan —
nothing yet.
tom holland —
nothing yet.
andrew garfield —
nothing yet.
ben barnes —
nothing yet.
micheal b jordan —
nothing yet.
taylor swift —
nothing yet.
lana del ray —
nothing yet.
zendaya —
nothing yet.
margot robbie —
nothing yet.
florence pugh —
nothing yet.
madelyn cline —
nothing yet.
phoebe tonkin —
nothing yet.
maya hawke —
nothing yet.
emma watson —
nothing yet.
no set pairing —
MARVEL CAST FLIRTING WITH Y/N, compilation!
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jesssssssssica · 1 year
Text
right where you left me j.b
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everyone moves on in life.
everyone grows and learns as their life path continues.
but you stay here.
feet planted in time.
waiting.
it’s been years y/n, get over it.
he said no that’s that.
then how come your still there waiting for the day that he’ll run back into our arms and love you until the day you die.
it was embarrassing.
you could hear the words that the people surrounding you would whisper as you would sit in the corner of the dimly lit room, waiting and staring at the door, hoping that the bell would ring and that jude would be there smiling at you so sweetly.
but he wasn’t there.
leaving you to be left in the quiet.
a quiet so quiet that you could hear a hair pin drop and that you could hear people’s thoughts. it had been like this since the moment he had left you.
when he had given you so much hope that this would still work, and that a breakup wasn’t needed or necessary.
but that was the past.
and you know you should move on, everyone around you agrees with that, expecting you to find someone else, but you just couldn’t.
he was your special person.
and he had left you.
leaving you no choice but to stay right where he left you.
it had reminded you of when you were younger, when you would hear tales and stories about freezing people in time for 20 years and then they come back as themselves from 20 years ago.
you used to laugh and find it ridiculous how and why someone would ever do that. now you understand, standing in a fantasy living life as it’s supposed to be.
a delusion.
why must it be you?
break ups happen every day and yet you get the short end of the stick and go crazy for some boy that left you long ago.
it doesn’t matter now, because he sits in front of you right now, in the restaurant that you always went to together, well when he still wanted you and only you, when everything was just right.
but then it turns sour, he tells you all about some girl he met and how she’s the one.
you were ‘the one’ once.
and now you can feel the mascara running down your cheeks and you cry, which, even now after all this time you can still feel.
you drop your glass out of shock.
glass shatters all over the once white tablecloth that’s now stained red with wine and maybe even some of your blood.
that was years ago now.
he’s probably got himself a wife and is out being the perfect husband and even greater dad.
he could’ve been that with you, but no.
he gets a happy ending and you get to sit around wait for him forever and always.
wishing and praying.
because you had no choice.
“y/n?”
you know that voice.
“jude?”
“y/n i’ve missed you”
“yeah?”
“yeah”
“me too”
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dawnoftime22 · 4 months
Text
moments to never forget.
| T.S
Warnings: None!
Summary: It's your birthday, and Taylor has many plans up her sleeve. She gives you surprises one after another simply in one day, and it becomes the most special birthday you've had yet.
Word Count: 2.9k
Category: Fluff! All fluff!!
A/N: GUESSSS WHO'S BIRTHDAY IT IS??? MINE!!! happy birthday to me :DD so take this as a birthday special <33 I really really hope you'll love this because its one of my most fav fic I've written so far <3
| Started on 01/12/2023, 5:53 PM |
| Finished on 01/12/2023, 11:13 PM |
Masterlist | T.S Masterlist
“Oh, all I'd ever do for you, and you only.”
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|——————————— ⸆⸉ ———————————|
It was a peaceful day. You were sat on the couch in the living room with Taylor, knowing today is your birthday, but you never really did much on it, except get a cake really.
"You know, I have something to show you." She says naturally, but with a mysterious tone in her voice. You piqued up slightly in her embrace at the sentence, curiosity taking over your features.
"What is it?" You ask as she moves to get you off of her and stand up, wanting you to follow with her from her hands tugging on yours.
"You'll see." Her voice was cheeky, her eyes following her smile. You get dragged over to the bedroom, making you all the more curious.
She sits you down on the bed before going off to the closet, where all her clothes are located. She opens it, and you gasp.
Your mouth was open at the set of cardigans in her wardrobe that you knew weren't there before. They were beautiful, and the side of the arms had little stitched in stars in them. You close your mouth as you took in the scene before you. Was this real or a dream? You didn't even know. You were about to ask her to pinch you.
They only weren't there before because Taylor had some of them stored in another house, and she didn't have a piece of each and every one yet, surprisingly, until her team sent her ones she didn't have yet, completing her collection.
"Which one do you want?" She asks softly, her hands waving over to them as a gesture of 'voila'. Her eyebrows raised with a smile on her lips.
"Tay, I love them all, I can't just choose one." Your shoulders slumped with your words, your mind thinking Taylor was asking you to choose only one that you could wear or add to your own wardrobe. Technically you could just steal hers, but that wasn't in your flow of thoughts with the shock, and how your mind was currently focused on her question.
"Well, you can have them all, darling, but right now which one do you wanna wear?" Her sentence comes out with a small giggle that vibrates within her ribs and echoes out to your ears, and you were about to melt into a pool of puddle on the wooden floor with all the love you had for her.
"You choose," you say quietly, not able to make a decision. She hums, half expecting you to have said that, perhaps. The blonde turns her head to look at the closet, her fingers brushing against the soft fabrics of the cardigans, and her eyes were extremely focused.
"How about this one?" Taylor reaches her hand out to one of the hangers, grabbing one of the seven cardigans from her collection. She chose simply on whichever she thought you'd love most, and she never fails in doing so.
You grab the hanger as she gives it to you, your eyes shining at the sight. You delicately take off the cardigan and put your arms in the arm holes, wearing it. It smoothly goes over your shoulders and went off to your other arm as you fully had it on you.
Taylor smiles, her eyes looking over the sight of you wearing something of hers. Well, she has before, considering you stole her hoodies and clothes, but this was especially different. Her own merch.
"You look lovely," she whispers, her voice endearing as ever. A slight red tint appears on your face, and she tries her hardest to get a clear picture of it in her head to store away and remember for years later to come.
"It's warm. It feels like whenever you hug me." You move your arms as if to hug yourself slightly, the comfortable fabric making itself feel like home upon you.
"Well, I'm warmer, but I'm glad it's comfortable." You giggle at her sentence, but she wasn't wrong. Although she is warmer, the cardigan fits you perfectly, and it's soft against the skin of your arms.
She closes the closet doors and walks over to you, putting her arms out to hug you and sit on your lap. She places her arms around your body that was layered in a shirt and the cardigan.
"Are you warm enough?" She asks playfully as she puts her cheek against your shoulder, looking up at you adorably, her blonde hair spilling over your shoulder. You swore you were gonna die happily right then and there.
"You're basically gonna make me melt from all the warmth." You're lucky the room was cold enough for it all to be cozy, and oh so perfect of a temperature.
She giggles, and then gets off of you, standing up and taking your hand into hers, tugging you to follow along.
"Where are we going now?" You ask curiously, your arm pushing you up and your legs straightening to a standing position to follow her. Your hands were intertwined with each other like a perfect puzzle piece.
"Someplace you'll love." She says, grabbing her keys out her pocket and going to the living room, making her way to the front door.
Once she opens the door, the sun was greeting high above the clouds somewhere, but it wasn't awfully sunny. She closes and turns the key into the door behind you. The sky shows a nice and gentle weather, no gray clouds.
The car beeped in the distance to your left, making you turn your head towards it. Taylor tilts her head while she walks to the car, as if to signal you that she was done making sure the house was all safe and locked.
You trail behind her, watching her get in the driver seat to turn on the engine. You thought she'd stay there and close the door, but she goes over to the passenger side and opens yours for you.
A dopey smile was on your face, her small gestures of love being everything to you. You went ahead and walked by her to go sit in the seat. She checks that you're fully in the vehicle before she closes the door.
When Taylor got in and clicked her seatbelt on along with you, she settles her hands on the steering wheel, driving off to the main road and start the journey to your destination, wherever that may be.
You got comfortable, unknowing whether it'll be a short one, or a long one. Before doing so, you turn on the radio and adjust the volume so it'll be good background music. You smile when you hear your favorite song playing.
Her eyes went to watch you every now and then, your head nodding along to the music and some lyrics coming out your mouth. She was so in love with you and everything about you.
When it went on to being half an hour in the car, you had settled down in your seat, watching the trees pass by and looking at the view outside. It seems you were going up a few mountains, and you couldn't wait to see what she had planned.
Taylor was smiling adorably as she drove. The sun was setting already, the two of you having left the house in the evening, and it left an iridescent line on her face, the rearview mirror reflecting the sun.
This was a precious day and a precious moment. You stare at her, admiring her for a second before pulling out your phone, your teeth catching your lip as you took a picture of her.
She notices you in the corner of her eyes, and her smile grew wider with a soft look. "I saw that," she says, knowing you loved to take pictures of her before she sees. But you didn't just take it for that reason.
"There's a rainbow on your face." You point out, and she looks into the mirror, her eyes brightening at the many colors of light visiting her cheek down to her neck. It was as if you were to travel upon a rainbow and find a stash of gold, to which, she practically is one. But she's more valuable and special than a simple pot of gold. Oh, so much more.
"I guess it's true how they say I have a bit of magic running through me." She focuses back on the road ahead of her, joking about the fans to you. You shake your head with a small laugh, but almost agreeing with her and the people who's talked about it. Far too many coincidences with the plane matching her lyrics, and mother nature following her with strikes of lightning.
Soon enough, you arrive, and it was a place somewhere on the side of the road, but there was a small path that could be seen at an angle. You follow Taylor's lead when she got out and locked the car, the wind breezing gently through your hair as you moved.
The sun had gone down by now, and the sky was dark, but the pathway had small lamps lighting up the way. You wondered if that was Taylor's doing, or perhaps they had already been there and this was a spot some people visit.
But it was her doing. She found this place a while ago, and no one else had taken it thus far. It was hers, and your spot now. The grass was green, and there were beautiful trees with leaves flowing and smoothly falling down here and there.
Taylor eventually stops walking, and you see a small picnic set up below an apple tree. She smiles your way, and your lips reflected hers. You couldn't have found anyone better.
She goes to sit down on the fabric, beside her a basket with some food. You sit down with her, shuffling to sit in between her legs with your back against her front.
It was a place where not much light pollution covered the place. You stare up at the night sky. It glimmered with stars, brightly glowing along with the gibbious moon high up the sky. You could see venus and saturn somewhere.
The sight shined off to your eyes, and hers stared down to them, admiring the speechless but happy look on your face. You were staring at the stars, she was staring at you.
You had your hands resting in your own lap, and she went off to the basket to grab a container that has a a slice of cheesecake. One that was delicious, and one from your favorite shop.
There was a small birthday candle, and the blonde gently places it atop the cake, lighting it up with a lighter.
She grabs a fork, opening the lid and handing the fork to you. You didn't see it until she waved it slightly, making you look down. A small gasp makes it way out your mouth when you realize what was on the picnic blanket just beside you.
"Tay, you didn't have to do all this." You say, your voice barely above a whisper from the surprise of how much she's been doing for you just in one day. And she planned all of it by herself. You look at her over your shoulder, your eyes full of emotions.
"But I wanted to. And you deserve every inch of it," she says, so very softly. Her free hand reaches up to caress your cheek with her thumb gently. She then lays a light kiss on your lips, her eyes holding only care and her embrace only holding safety.
Your lips turned upwards, and you gently take the fork from her hand, going off to grab the cheese cake container.
"Make a wish." She whispers gently. You stay quiet for a second, before blowing out the candle. Her face has a smile as she watches you.
"You're not gonna tell me what you wished for are you?" Taylor asks as you dig your fork into the cake, taking a small size before putting it in your mouth.
"Nope. It won't come true if I do." But in honest truth, the wish was her. To be with her forever and always.
The cake melted in your mouth. It was sweet, but not awfully sweet. Just the right amount, as it always had been. Taylor watches your movement from behind as she held you.
You then take another piece, but you didn't put it in your mouth. Instead, you lean back slightly and turn, putting the piece of cheese cake in the air, just near her mouth.
Her eyes flickered down to it, then back to your face. She opens her mouth and eats it, humming with the delicious taste filling her mouth.
She grabs another fork from the basket, wanting to share with you. You let her by putting the plastic container beside the both of you once more, turning back around to rest against her and stare up at the sky.
As the cheese cake was being finished, and the crickets made sound somewhere in the trees, she had thoughts floating in her mind, her eyes wandering over to you every now and then rather than the cake, or the sky.
"Okay, I have one last thing for you today." She spoke up softly, and you look at her, curiosity filling you as you wondered what else she could possibly have in store.
"What is it?" You ask, eager at this point from the sleepiness that might be coming onto you, and how she's been going at you with surprises left and right today. But it is a special day, after all.
"Can't tell you yet. Close your eyes first." She whispered near your ear as if to give off a mysterious tone.
"It better not be a snake like last time." You said as you closed your eyes and raised a brow. She had her mouth open in an act of getting offended even though you couldn't see.
"No! It's your birthday, silly. Of course I'm not gonna scare you." You can hear her smile in her voice, and some movement somewhere near you. She looks at you closely, making sure you had your eyes fully closed.
You then feel one of your arms being tugged up slightly to be put in the air at the same height as your chest, your palm facing upwards. A what felt like a box, with a soft exterior was then placed on your hand.
"Okay, you can open your eyes," she says, and the both of you were filled with anticipation. Hers, of your reaction, and you, of what you're gonna see when you open your eyes. When you did, it was a beautiful black box in your hand with a shiny metal latch.
"You better not have gotten me something far too expensive." Your eyes went off to hers, and she has a smile growing on her face once more.
"Just a reasonable price for something special," was all that she replied with, and you couldn't really say anything much to that, and so, your hand goes off to get the latch and open the lid, revealing a metal necklace that has a heart in the shape of how she draws it, and her initials on the sides of the heart. There are also small charms at the side of your favorite albums of her, not far off from the center of the necklace.
"Taylor. You did not." Your voice was in pure shock, knowing this was definitely custom-made. You had talked before about a necklace that should have certain charms that you would love to see together. But there wasn't one that really existed like that specifically, so you never thought of ever getting it. But she managed to get one specifically for you, and only one exists in the world.
"Yes, I did." She looked down at you, seeing how your hands very gently touched the chain and charms on it, loving that you were awestruck, and also absolutely in love with her.
"Happy birthday, baby." She kisses your cheek softly, hugging you and squeezing slightly from behind. Even a squirrel perhaps that isn't yet sleeping, is looking at the two of you from above a nearby tree, seeing the love you held dear.
"Thank you, Tay." You whisper, your free hand that wasn't holding the box going off to take her hand that was around your stomach in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze as she did with your body earlier.
"Help me put it on?" You ask, looking at her. She was looking at you with a soft gaze, like a fawn looking at someone.
"Of course," she replies, taking ahold of the necklace with a gentle grip to not let it fall, and clasping it around your neck, checking it was on properly.
"You look gorgeous," she says, her voice filled with honesty. Her eyes were all focused on you and the necklace on your neck.
"Do you like it?" She asks as if with hope for you to love it, but she already knew the answer to come, she just wanted to hear it coming from your own mouth than her head.
"I love it!!" Taylor adored the pure joy on your face, every second with you making her love you even more somehow, if possible.
The rest of the night was spent with adoration and love, and you sleeping in the car on the ride back home, with her staring at you at some red lights.
It's a whole day of memories to remember, and you aren't ever gonna forget it.
---------------
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