#taz fic

[ceilingfan5]

Unauthorized Access

brand new warm and fresh 9k, rated T, taakitz fic!!!!

Summary: Okay, so Kravitz knows he shouldn't let the cute professor from the philosophy department(?) into the Arcane History Restricted Archives, but counterpoint, he just left his badge in the car, and he's very cute and funny, and what harm could it possibly do? What his mean boss doesn't know can't hurt him.

Taako is definitely not supposed to be here, but it's fine. The rules certainly don't matter when lives are on the line. And he's not about to get distracted.

Definitely a situation where two people think they are each in a very different genre than the other. Read it here!!

[id: workplace sign in red and white that says Restricted Area, Authorized Personnel Only with a red crossed out circle with a person icon. The sign has been filtered with rainbow, and purple hearts have been added.]

#taz #taakitz #tazb #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #fan5fics #taz balance #taakitz fic #new fic!!! new fic!!!! #new fic #taz fic #:3 #tell your friends

[noodyl-blasstal]

ooooooooh how about Tiny child in awe of you in a public space and whoever calls to you!

This got real silly real fast and I'm probably even a little sorry about it! Thank you so much Reeese! The prompt is from this list and I’m still open to requests.

-

“Why are you doing that face?”

“What face?”

“You know, the…” Taako scrunches his face up in his best approximation of Kravitz’s weird smile.

“It was happening again.”

Ah, that explains it. “Goth baby?” 

“Goth baby.” Kravitz nods solemnly, gestures to her with his eyes. “I thought I’d try and commune.”

Sweet, wonderful idiot. “Did it work?”

“Maybe?” Kravitz sounds uncertain. “Although. No. I don’t think so. Maybe I need to try something more clear?”

“How about a hand shake?” 

“Oh, of course, how rude of me.” Kravitz begins to walk forward and Taako yanks his arm back.

“Just checking, handsome, just picking up the phone to ask you a quick question, were you just about to walk over to that stranger’s baby, hold out a hand, and do the whole “‘ello it’s me, the grim reaper, wanna shake me ‘and?” bit?”

“No?”

“No question mark; or no full stop?”

“No full stop?”

“Cha’boy’s still hearing the query in there, bones.”

Kravitz sighs heavily. “I… I was going to do that, yeah. I might not have done the accent though.” He adds, optimistically.

“Babies love the accent.” There’s no point in denying it.

“You’re right, of course you’re right, I… yes I would have done that.”

Taako rests a soothing hand on his shoulder. “I’d let you shake my baby’s hand.” He says, reassuringly.

Kravitz breaks eye contact with the ensorceled baby and raises an eyebrow at Taako. “You didn’t let me interact with Angus at all for months! We only got to speak when he figured out we were dating and came to interrogate me at work.”

“And what did you do when he arrived in your office, Kemosabe? Whatmst did you deign to do when the baby genius himself rocked up in your workplace in his jamjar specs and his fancy hat and said he was there to see you? Hmm?” Taako hasn’t ever asked, he doesn’t need to, he knows it in his bones.

“I shook his hand.” Kravitz says, downcast.

“You shook his hand!” Taako’s triumphant, maybe a touch gloaty, it’s fine, Kravitz likes him like that. Before he can do anything ridiculous like attempting some humility Kravitz stops doing his pondering face.

“Fine. I won’t shake hands with the baby.” 

Taako doesn’t want to ruin it entirely. “You could try waving.” He suggests.

“What kind of wave?”

“Fancy one.” Taako demonstrates.

“Like this?” Kravitz waggles his fingers dramatically at Taako.

“I think you can do better.” Taako does a trick shot, passing a hand behind his back to wave from one side.

Kravitz snorts, but spins round on the spot then waves back. Perfect man. “Okay.” He takes a moment to think. “How about…” he waves in a sweeping motion, then circles back up the other side to form a full greeting circle.

“I like it. See if the kid does.”

Kravitz waggles his fingers in a fancy circle. The baby remains stone faced, she doesn’t break her stare.

“I don’t think she liked it.” Kravitz shrugs, pocketing his hands as if they might try again if he doesn’t holster them.

Taako shrugs. “Her loss.”

Kravitz nods. “Yeah… you’ll wave back at me no matter what, right?”

“Natch, Taako wouldn’t leave you hanging.”

#Sometimes the kids just wanna stare without you bothering them about it #Taakitz #Kravitz #Taako #The Adventure Zone #TAZ Balance #TAZ fic #Noodyl Writes

[cosmicoceanfic]

“Taako,” Edward says as Taako puts his hand on the wheel. “We’ve had a little confab, and-“

“Confab?” Merle interrupts. “Isn’t that a little conference room-y?”

“Like Wolf of Wall Street?” Magnus adds. “Did you guys see Wolf of Wall Street?”

“Er, yes. A little too, a little too long for us.”

“Yeah, I kinda felt like it was just a redo of Goodfellas, too.” Merle shrugs. “Goodfellas was good enough on its own, y’know?”

“Yes, definitely, definitely not Scorsese’s best work. Taako?”

“Speaking,” Taako answers, trying not to feel the conspicuous lack of hit points too hard.

“We’ve been having ourselves a little think, and we want to make you a very special offer.”

“Yes,” Lydia chimes in. “We’ve never given this option to anyone journeying through Wonderland before, but we just can’t resist.”

“Hit me,” he answers wearily. “Maybe not literally. Cha boy is hurting.”

“We are going to allow you to opt out of the wheel and instead answer this very simple, very easy question.”

“You see, Taako, Edward and I are, mm, rather taken with your fetching umbrella there.”

Taako blinks, looking down at the Umbra Staff, dread growing in his stomach. “Okay.”

“That’s why we’re offering you the choice of a lifetime: you can take a penalty or you can give us that tasty little treasure.”

“Penalty,” Taako answers, only aware that he’s saying so halfway through the word coming out of his mouth.

“Taako,” Magnus mutters. “Taako, a penalty might kill you.”

“I don’t care, just means I get my Sunday afternoons back. I’m fine. Taako’s good out here. Penalty me.”

“Taako,” Merle says. “We’ll buy you a new umbrella. Real nice one.”

“Nope. I’m good. All good for Taako. I said it, I meant it, let’s move on. Hit me with that bad boy.”

There’s an almost disconcerting silence punctuated by Edward and Lydia muttering to each other. Taako grips the Umbra Staff in his slightly sweaty palm.

“We’re prepared to up the ante,” Edward says.

“Whatever you have, I don’t want it.”

“Are you sure? We think you might.”

A little 8 bit cartoon of a bell floats in front of them, placidly turning in a steady circle. Taako swallows.

“What,” he says, in an attempt at breezy. “Something Pac-Man could eat? No, thank you. Grossarooni.”

“If you give us the staff,” Lydia says. “We will give you the Animus Bell.”

Taako’s hands are shaking. He looks down at the handle of the Staff and is a little surprised to see he’s white knuckling it.

“No more fighting,” Edward tells him. “No more choices. Everybody’s happy.”

He thinks he’s gonna throw up. He swallows, staring at the handle.

“Taako,” Merle says. “This seems like a reeeeeeally good deal.”

Taako’s mouth works. He doesn’t know how to vocalize what he’s feeling. He doesn’t even know what it is he’s feeling at all. This is my last piece of- he thinks before the thought is unceremoniously cut off. He doesn’t know what it’s the last piece of but they can’t have it. They’re not allowed to touch it.

“Taako?” Magnus has his cautiously steady voice on, which is never a good sign. “You good?”

Taako looks up at them helplessly. Both their brows are furrowed but Magnus is looking off into the corner at something else, staring intently.

“Hey,” Merle says suddenly. “You didn’t say we could take it with us.”

“Beg pardon?” Edward asks.

“The Bell. You didn’t say we could take it with us, you just said Taako could have it. So does he get to leave with it?”

“Well-“

“I mean, kinda bogus, isn’t it? You’re asking him to give something up when really, you get to keep both things.”

“Yeah,” Magnus says, finally pulling his attention off from the corner. “Yeah, I’m with Merle. This is bullshit.”

Taako, decisively, sits down.

“Taako?” Lydia asks. “What are- what are you doing?”

“I mean, if I die in here, you can just take it off my corpse, right? No harm no foul. So why would I give it to you now? So I’m just gonna stop playing.”

“That’s not… really an option, Taako-“

“I can sit here in this room forever,” he interrupts. “And be miserable but not like, that miserable. Or I can spin that wheel, and keep going, and get even more miserable, and eventually, probably, uh, pretty soon, I’ll die, and you can have it then, what do I give a shit, I’m dead.”

“Yeah.” Magnus sits on one side of Taako. “Yeah, I’m with Taako. No easy outs.”

“I like easy outs,” Merle says, sitting on Taako’s other side. “But this doesn’t seem like it’s it, so, y’know, I’m with him, too.”

“I will say,” Taako adds. “I will be exponentially more miserable with these two thugs here with me for all eternity, just gonna be a real downer, so maybe it’s a more difficult decision for you than not.”

“Gee, thanks,” Merle grumbles. Magnus doesn’t blink.

Edward and Lydia mumble again, then fall silent.

“You still want that job opportunity?” Lydia asks.

“I mean, I think I’m good. Love your style, real Zoolander shit, but I’m gonna have to pass on that one.”

“Bummer.” She sighs softly. “Spin the wheel, Taako.”

All three of them get up and Taako approaches the wheel, feeling profoundly, inordinately grateful that the Unbra Staff, for now, remains in his hand and, a little surprisingly, grateful to the two chucklefucks standing on either side of him.

For a bizarre moment, he thinks the Staff might be a little grateful too.

#taz balance #taz fic #the adventure zone #adventure zone #taako taaco #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #the suffering game #ocean speaks #ocean’s fic

[fandomsnstuff]

Something short and sweet for @taznovembercelebration day 10

Day 10: sick

The Taaco twins have one cardinal rule: if you receive a text consisting of SOS and a number, you call your twin in that many minutes and give them an excuse to leave wherever they are. No questions asked.

Read it on AO3

Taako's having a nondescript night at home when his phone lights up with a text.

lupdelup

SOS 7

He waits exactly seven minutes, then calls her.

“Hello?” She should get an Oscar for that greeting alone. It's a perfect tone of slight confusion with a tinge of concern.

“Lup,” he puts on a performance of his own, making his voice sound weak and strained, “you gotta come home right now.”

“Taako? Are you okay? What's going on?”

“I'm really sick,” he lays dramatically on the couch for effect, tossing an arm over his eyes, “I haven't been able to keep anything down, and we're out of tums and tylenol.”

“Alright, it's okay.” Her voice quiets a bit through the phone as she talks to the shmuck that she was convinced to go on a date with, “I'm sorry, I gotta go. My brother-”

“He's a grown man.” The guy's voice is quiet, seeing as the phone isn't on speaker, but Taako's able to pick it out. “Sit down.” He sounds like a douche.

“Lup,” he groans, “my stomach hurts so bad, and I'm burning up. I think I need to go to the hospital.”

“He's in a really bad way,” she says to the guy, “I need to go help him.”

He can only get a vague impression of the guy grumbling, but Lup says goodbye to him and a moment later, she says into the phone, “what a fucking asshole.”

He drops the ailing brother act, “that bad, huh?”

“Ugh,” he hears her car door slam, “me telling him I needed to leave just now was the most words I've been able to say in a row all night.”

“Gross.”

“Just wait ‘til I get home, it gets worse.”

“I'll see you soon.”

“Thank youuuuu.”

They hang up, and Taako goes back to his show. About 25 minutes later, the door swings open and slams shut.

“This fucking guy-”

About a month later, Taako's home alone again while Lup's out on a date. But he isn't waiting for an SOS, because this date in particular is with one Barry Bluejeans. Lup probably wouldn't admit it, but she's been cuckoo for him from the moment she laid her eyes on him and he opened his mouth. As far as Taako's concerned, they've been going on dates for ages now, they just lied to themselves and said they were hanging out as friends. But this date is for realsies. “We said it was romantic and everything,” Lup had told him a few days prior, buzzing with excitement.

Lup said she'd be back later that night, but he's honestly not expecting to hear from her until morning. So when his phone lights up, he's confused.

lupdelup

SOS 2

Taako scoffs and goes against SOS protocol, texting her back:

🌮🔔

No

lupdelup

what?

🌮🔔

Unless you give me a reason, absolutely not

lupdelup

I thought the whole point of this system was no questions asked

🌮🔔

I've had to listen to you talk about this guy for YEARS

You get all wistful about it every single time

If you tell me he's a creep or a douche or secretly racist or something, ill call you, but im not giving you a bail out call if you're just getting all in your own head overthinking and freaking out about being on a date with THE barold bluejaens.

lupdelup

Taako please i dont know if i can do this

🌮🔔

Of course you can, you're LUP

He's lucky that you're into him and i know that he knows that

Tell you what

I'll give you an SOS 60

lupdelup

60 is so many though

🌮🔔

I'll call you in an hour. If you still want to bail, then bail. But go back to your man and enjoy it. From what I know about him, it'll be the best date you've been on in months

lupdelup

Maybe even years.

🌮🔔

I'll talk to you in an hour

lupdelup

Fine

Asshole.

Taako sets himself a timer for 60 human minutes and goes about his evening. When it goes off, he considers not calling and waiting to see how long it'll take her to notice. But he's a man of his word, especially for Lup, so he calls. It rings, and rings, and rings. Taako's hopeful, Lup almost always picks up SOS calls on the second ring. It rings one more time before he's sent to voicemail.

The phone beeps in his ear.

“Your call has been forwarded to our automatic voice message system. Lup Taaco isn't available right now. Leave a message after the tone.”

“Told you,” he says, and hangs up.

Lup doesn't come home until morning.

#taz fic #lup #taako #taz #blupjeans

[lesbijkas]

Together (Dead) a "what if Lup never went missing looking for the Pheonix Fire Gauntlet and was sent out with Taako post voidfish memory wipe" fic; non-chronological, (temporary) major character death, angst/goofs, hurt/comfort

2 chapters are up now, one written two years ago acting as the prologue with a second brand new chapter to boot. please read. and enjoy.

#taz #taz fic #the adventure zone #posting this to hold my own ass accountable to actually finish this fucking thing #please tell me what you think #and maybe what you'd like to see #I've got plenty of solid ideas but I am open to much #bows

[herbgerblin]

pspspsps :0

if anyone is interested, here's the google doc of my unfinished vampire fic "It's Rotten Work." All of the sections after 3 are just scenes born from ideas, meandering and rough. but I think there's enough to piece together what I was thinking back in ye old 2019.

I hate completely abandoning projects and I feel like the snippets are more cathartic than nothing. idk if i will ever wrap it up proper. my writing has changed so much that I'm wondering if I should edit the first few chapters before attempting, or just go fuck it we ball

The first three chapters are on Ao3

#It's Rotten Work #taz fic #my writing

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

Prompts! Prompts! Prompts!

19. Man... That's going to stain (whichsoever way your heart takes you) please and thank you!

Angus was abuzz, the tips of his sneakers nearly lifting off the ground in anticipation. Carey had been kind enough to offer him rogue lessons since he became a fully fledged Bureau member. It was his enthusiastic, but non-expert lurking that got him into the Bureau in the first place, and Carey said he should learn from the best. 

Lock picking was east enough, usually. Sometimes it was tedious in a way that made sweat drip into Angus's eyes, but usually it was almost relaxing. Meditative. 

Sneaking was something Angus was already quite used to. See, for some reason, people usually resented his detective work on big cases. But if he was sneaky enough, there was nothing to worry about. Usually. Unless a dragonborn caught sight of him almost immediately. Then there was a little worry. 

What gave Angus the most pause was the pickpocketing of it all. Carey assured him that she wasn't teaching him this for nefarious deeds or anything, but he worried that knowledge of it would tempt him into using it for nefarious deeds. And a young man like him had no business getting tangled up in a seedy criminal underground, even on a secret moon base. But Carey said that the practice was necessary. So she very carefully planted items on fellow Bureau members that he was meant to retrieve. And he did, to varying degrees of success. 

His final test was to simply steal a button from Carey. Nothing too difficult. But he knew better than to think this was the kind of test he could just breeze through. Stealing the button was one thing. Making sure she couldn’t steal it back was a whole other ordeal. 

His plan started at dawn. Carey usually ran laps around the campus before daylight broke. She’d usually do a few minutes of stretches before that. That was his sweet spot for actually getting a button. The rest of his day would be dedicated to his grand plan.

His heart pounded so loud in his chest he worried that that was what was going to alert Carey to his presence. But a featherlight touch while she was stretching out her shoulders and Angus had succeeded. 

It felt too easy. 

But, he was free to scamper off and squirrel the button away out of sight. 

–

For most of the day, Angus kept checking over his shoulder, certain he was going to be discovered. But Carey was unseen all day. That worried Angus more, honestly. She moved like smoke. 

So he let his guard down. It was silly, it was during dinner and he should have known that that would be when he was at his most vulnerable. But he took his bag off and set it beside himself to dig into his meal. 

Of course, quick as a child’s wish, Carey was beside him. Clutched in her hand was the small box Angus hid the button in. She wasn’t smug, per se, but she was in the neighborhood.

“That was a good try, Angus! You put up a pretty good fight,” She said. 

Angus frowned. “Well, Miss Carey, aren’t you going to open the box? Make sure you got the button and not just a rock or an acorn?”  

Carey shrugged before running a claw over the locking mechanism on the outside of the box. Angus ducked as he heard a pneumatic whoosh escape the box. 

When he looked up, Carey was covered in a thin, hot pink, glittery ink. 

“First rule of roguing, Miss Carey. Always assume there’s a trap,” Angus said, a mischievous grin overtaking his face. 

She let out a sigh. “You got me there, kid. Man. This is gonna stain, huh?”

“Probably, Miss.” 

A glint came to Carey’s eye. She held her arms open for a hug. “C’mon Ango, gimme a hug!” She cackled in laughter as Angus bolted, hoping to keep his fancy boy clothes from the carnage. 

#rip (reeses in pieces) #noodyl-blasstal #reese writes #*taps mic* this thing on? #i can still write sometimes i promise #angus mcdonald #carey fangbattle #taz balance #taz fic

[cookie-nom-nom]

Calm Emotions

“I hate the Parish!” Devotion screams at the top of his lungs. Fury boils up hot inside his chest, strangling his voice in a way he was taught to never allow. His voice is the most important part of him -possibly the only part of him that even matters- and yet he feels like it does nothing. Devotion can scream over and over and they’ll never really hear him. Never once has his input mattered in the twelve years he’s lived in the Parish. (Why would it? You’re a child. Your duty is to listen.) They see him like a little clay doll to mold into the leader they want to be, not a living breathing speaking screaming why can’t any of them hear him screaming person. “I hate all of you! You never listen to me, or care. All you do is twist eve-”

Devotion’s tongue stills, his body relaxing. Peace washes away the crease of his brow. It’s like the tide rolling in, pulsing waves of calm emotions. Some tiny part of him is desperately screaming that all of this is wrong, that his anger is right and good and will protect him. That this isn’t real, just another spell. But apathy settles thick, choking like fog. It’s useless to resist, but he balls up every ounce of resentment he has, pushing past the mind control to clench his fists. 

The Hand of Guidance smiles serenely at him, taking his hands in hers and peeling back his fingers until he isn’t allowed even the slightest sign of recalcitrance. She squeezes gently, rubbing a thumb across his knuckles. “Now, Devotion, are those very kind words? I think you need to look past this anger to how you truly feel. You’re not really angry at us, are you?” Angry? Why would he be angry? Devotion feels perfectly tranquil. “Sometimes our self loathing manifests as lashing out at others. I worry about you, Devotion. All this rebellion against the people who loved and taught and raised you must mean you don’t value yourself very much. But don’t worry, we do. The Parish sees how talented and clever and powerful you can be, and all we want to do is pull that potential out of you. So please don’t be angry at yourself.”

She cups his face and tilts his languid head up. Devotion matches her smile with his own dreamy one. “Thank you, Hand of Guidance. I will do my best.”

She boops his nose. “You’re going to be amazing.”

The Hand of Guidance is long gone by the time the Calm Emotions spell dissipates. Everything slams into him all at once, his feelings tumultuous and overwhelming as he steps out of the eye of the hurricane. But the anger is gone, as though the spell has ended its implied threat lingers. Because like it or not, Devotion is just a child. He is weak and defenseless against the divine magic of the Parish. He’s scared and he’s angry and it all means nothing because the moment he tries to push against it his emotions are doused out and there’s nothing he can do except pray they don’t decide to puppet his body and mind for the rest of his life. Devotion will never escape the Parish. His voice will forever be talked over. 

Not for the first time, Devotion curls up in a little ball and cries. Tears burn his eyes and close his throat and it feels like he’s suffocating. But that’s alright, really. Not like he is ever going to say anything that matters.  ———————————————————————

I have a head-canon that just like the light cantrip, every spell Devo has ever learned was used against him in some way.

#Devo becoming the Voice of Hope means so much to me #taz ethersea #ethersea #taz #taz fic #devo la main #taz devo #the hand of guidance #The adventure zone fic #tw manipulation #the adventure zone #Also using the ‘you’re going to be amazing’ quote and putting it in the mouth of an abuser is so 😈 #something to nom on

[elvencantation]

sooooooo I paused in the middle of episode 65 of taz balance and my angst senses were tingling so much i had to write a lucretia fic

the year of stone

Lucretia wakes up alone in a ship that has been shot down. A ship that is much too quiet with six of its seven occupants gone. A ship she does not know how to repair, much less fly. She has a year. A year to learn, a year to run, a year to fight. A year to survive with the hope of thousands of universes dropped onto her shoulders alone.

1.8k words, character study, stream of consciousness, all hurt no comfort, mostly

#taz balance #taz the stolen century #the stolen century #lucretia #lucretia taz #taz lucretia #the adventure zone #taz fic #taz balance fic #taz #my fics #mywriting #this horrible lonely year is when she became madam director

[dinerbrewcoffee]

YALL. I FINISHED THE FIRST PART OF THE ETHERSEA BAND AU FIC. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO READ IT

#half of the waiting honestly was waiting to get an ao3 account #but i finished it! #i keep rereading it even tho its my own writing #teehee #ethersea band au #taz ethersea #taz #ethersea #ethersea fic #taz fic #devo la main #zoox anthellae #amber gris #oksana kodira #oksamber #there will be more oksamber later on i promise #please read it #let me know what yall think #everyone thank taakosleftshoe for this existing

[taakosleftshoe]

So. I finally caved.

Debuting my fanfic career with an Amber and Kodira ficlet, naturally.

#sierra speaks #taz ethersea #oksamber #taz fic #taz fanfic #the adventure zone #the adventure zone ethersea #bubbanana #amber gris #oksana kodira #too many name variations AUUUGH #BTW THIS DOESNT HAVE ANY ETHERSEA SPOILERS SO SIENA. YOU CAN READ IT. #i dont remember if i have a writing tag yet #my writing #maybe???

[noodyl-blasstal]

Pretty huge Doughnuts

The word count's droppin', but I'm not stoppin' - @taznovembercelebration day 15. Prompt "baby"

Read below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday's catch it here.

-

“You’re doing what now?”

“Planning Lup a baby shower.”

“Lup’s pregnant?” Barry’s voice is doing something high pitched and weird and Taako’s unsure exactly what the fuck is going on, but someone’s forgotten they have like 8 PhDs.

“Wanna think that through, Barold? Do you think that maybe she might have told you if she’d cracked that one.”

Barry looks less panicked. “Yeah… fair. Uh.”

“Anyway.” Taako ploughs on valiantly, he’ll pull this one out at a later date, once Barold thinks he’s forgotten. “I’m planning a baby shower for her.”

“If she’s not pregnant…” Barry starts.

“Which she isn’t.” Taako adds, helpfully.

“Yeah. Uh. Which she isn’t.” Barry looks pale still, poor, sweet idiot. “... then why are you throwing her a baby shower?”

“It took her more than nine months to birth the thesis” Taako says, he shrugs because it’s obvious, obviously. He doesn't know why literally no one so far has understood. They're definitely the problem.

Barry’s still scrunkling his face up like Taako's being irrational. The joke's on him because Taako's never irrational.

“She’s had a tonne of appointments.”

“Uh huh.”

"She brought new life into the world."

"The necromancy thing isn't part of the main thesis after, you know, the legal issues."

“I meant the concepts, not the zombie. Anyway the university are cowards for not embracing him." Before they get into the ethics of free education after reanimation Taako diverts Barry again. "She had to do that scan.”

“What scan? Wait, Taako, do you mean the MRIs she did for the data collection?”

“Now you get it.”

“I…”

“Cha’boy found this banner.” Taako unfurls it dramatically and holds it up, it’s gold and spangly and far too much, which is, of course, the perfect amount.

“Congratulations, it’s a…” Reads Barry.

“PhD!” Taako replies. “I’m gonna write it in and add flames. It’ll be great.”

“She’ll love the flames.” Says Barry, probably trying to tactfully dissuade Taako from the rest. Optimistic fool.

“I made a game for us where we have to guess the circumference of her thesis. There's prizes.”

“Is the thesis measurement bound or unbound?” Asks Barry far too fast. Oooooh, Taako has him on board now. Suddenly he loves BaPhD showers.

“No can do, Bluejeans, you wouldn’t want to cheat, would you? Wouldn’t want to ruin Lup’s special day by making it all about winning?”

“No.” Says Barry, unconvincingly.

“No cheating, Barold!”

Barry doesn’t say anything. Taako never should have taken Bluejeans under his wing, he’s created a monster.

“What’s a baby snack?”

"Mush?"

"No, like, for this."

“Are you asking what a baby thesis would eat?” Barry sounds more delighted by the concept than he should be.

“Baby researchers, I assume.” Chews them up, spits them out, not that Taako’s bitter. He’s fine. He can come back any time. Any time the police get round to officially clearing him. Not that it’s a problem, he’s not bothered about his degree anyway. He’s peachy. It’s not weird to see Lup get her doctorate before him when they were supposed to do it together.

Barry seems to realise he’s triggered some kind of horror even though Taako's definitely doing an incredibly normal face. He's going to try sand be nice about it.

“What are PhD snacks?” He asks before Barry can say anything kind.

“Pretty huge doughnuts.” Barry replies without hesitation. Taako knew there was a reason he kept him around.

Taako makes a note in his phone. Giant doughnuts mean giant frying, mean big oil, mean big pan.

“Why’re we making big doughnuts?” Kravitz asks, cracking the door to his room.

Of course it was food discussion that summoned him from his regimented work schedule (ignoring what he needed to do because he got distracted by other things and then panic typing up everything for his deadline.) It bodes well for Taako’s ongoing wooing, the stuff about hearts and stomachs was true probably, but Taako was also hoping to make his way to Kravitz’s di…

“Taako’s throwing Lup a surprise baby shower.” Barry cuts through Taako’s wandering thoughts. “We’re planning the menu.”

“Oh.” Says Kravitz. “For her PhD? Neat!”

-

Hey, hey, enjoyed that? Find the next prompt here!

#TAZNC #Taz november challenge #The adventure zone #TAZ Balance #Taz FIC #Noodyl Writes #Thanks for reading - truly it's been so lovely to see people enjoying

[eliias-bouchard]

taz zombie apocalypse au ...

Everyone has different names for the mould that cascades through the streets, digging its heels into the gaps between pavement stones and bricks and crawling up pipes like long arms begging to be taken to heaven. Some call it The Maw, some The Abyss, some simply Death. Taako and Lup call it The Hunger.

Or - Taako calls it The Hunger. He hasn't heard from Lup in a while. She was studying somewhere far away (Everwind? Everwinter? something like that) when The Hunger hit. She tried to keep up with him, but her radio must've broken or something. Maybe she's turned it off, preserve power. Maybe Everwhatever's dealing with The Hunger better than anywhere else and she's just continued her studies. She promised she'd be back. She promised.

Something in Taako knows, however, that she isn’t coming. That means he has to find her. That means travelling to Ever-whatever-it's-called.

It’s less dangerous on the road, he knows. There were less people, so there'll be less zombies too, less dull, thoughtless husks that The Hunger has incorporated into its mass and is piloting around to bring in more. Images of the things rise to his mind, sentry duty from within Refuge’s keep, carved into the cliff face that protects the town, watching the things shamble about outside. They made almost no sound, and sentry duty was always a pain because you could never see the damn things well enough for a clear, decisive arrow shot.

Enough dwelling. Time to get moving.

Everything Taako needs is kept in his bag; mask, non-perishable food (mainly beef jerky he found at a defunct food bank), water, compass, map, as well as soaps shoved into the bottom for whenever he reaches running water to wash his clothes and himself. He keeps his backup knife in an improvised scabbard on his belt, and has been attaching knives and blades to Lups umbrella at every opportunity. It's now covered in knives at the tips, outside and in, and is - in Taakos professional opinion - a weapon of mass destruction. He couldn't be happier.

He slips out of the musty old basement he'd hidden out in for the night, already wearing his mask, squinting against the dim light of the morning. This is another use for the umbrella, but he doesn't get it out just yet. The dawn is yawning across the sky, the warm colours cracking into the clouds like a stained glass window. He takes a moment to appreciate it, and then orients himself, and continues in his way to find Lup.

#taz #temp writing tag #taako #taz taako #the adventure zone #taz balance #taz: balance #taako taz #taako taaco #the adventure zone balance #balance arc #taz fanfic #taz fic #aside from plash plop gurgle i mean

[fandomsnstuff]

this just started as me wanting to complain about the work it takes to prep a house to sell but now it's kind of an au

@taznovembercelebration

Day 15: vampire au/last

Kravitz is moving for possibly the last time in his very, very long life, and he ruminates a little on what got him to this point.

Read it on AO3

Barry drops another cardboard box into the growing sea of stuff in the garage. “One thing I wish I'd considered before becoming immortal was all the moving.”

“Tell me about it,” Taako says, writing his name on a piece of painter's tape and slapping it on a garbage bag of clothes. “One second I'm joining my hot ancient vampire boyfriend in his immortal curse, and next thing I know, I've moved fifteen times in the last hundred years.”

“We haven't moved fifteen times,” Kravitz skirts around him with another box. “This is only number ten.”

“That's still too many.”

He drops the box on top of Barry's. “It wasn't nearly this much work when it was just me in apartments and such. But four times the people, four times the stuff.”

Taako points at him, “this is the last time. New vamps, new start, new system. Taako can't be doing all this physical labour every couple of years for eternity.”

Barry leans against a stack of boxes. “Maybe this is why you deemed immortality a curse. You've been spending your eternal life doing one of the worst chores an adult can do.” Kravitz just shrugs. Barry says, “this'll be good. The land's nice and far from any prying eyes, and the house Magnus and Julia designed is beautiful.”

“No! More! Moves!” Taako chants.

“Okay,” Lup comes into the garage, “Magnus is on his way with the truck and reinforcements, so he'll start taking loads of stuff to the new house. Stager comes tomorrow, carpets get cleaned Wednesday, pictures Thursday, and we're in business by the weekend.”

“Let's sell this bitch,” Taako says.

A few months later, the old house has sold, and they're settling into their new, custom-built home. Kravitz is sitting out back, watching Lup and Taako argue about toppings by the pizza oven. His heart swells.

He'd been alone for so long. As far as he knew, he was the only vampire left. His life became an exhausting, monotonous dance of isolation. Running from place to place the moment he felt any whiff of suspicion in his direction. But then he met Taako. Handsome, wondrous, stubborn Taako.

Kravitz had wanted to run the moment he realised Taako had taken an interest. But when he started packing his things and looking for a new place, for the first time in centuries, he hesitated. Taako was the first interesting thing to happen to him in ages. Maybe he deserved to have a little fun.

“A little fun” quickly turned into deep, unavoidable love. So Kravitz tried to blow it up. He told Taako they couldn't be together, he walked away and blocked his number and ran. But Taako isn't so easily swayed. Through avenues that Kravitz is still in the dark about, he tracked him down and banged on his door until he was granted entry and an explanation. So Kravitz told him what he was. He told him they couldn't be together because Taako would age and Kravitz wouldn't and after a few decades he would be alone again. He didn't want to know a life of companionship if he was going to lose it in the blink of an eye.

And Taako laughed. He laughed until he had tears trickling down his face. He said, “you thought I didn't know? Babe, the moment you brought me home I knew. I don't give a fuck, all my friends are freaks.”

Kravitz met Taako's friends, and they all seemed normal to him. “Magnus?”

“Werewolf. And Julia.”

“Davenport?”

“Shapeshifter.”

“Merle?”

“Fae.”

“Lucretia?”

“Merfolk.”

Kravitz hesitates, because there's no way he's anything but human, but he has to ask, “Barry?”

“I'll give you three guesses.”

“...no.” Taako smirked. Kravitz stared at him wide-eyed. “There's absolutely no way.”

“Full blooded vampire.”

“Full blooded?!”

“The man has never had a drop of human blood in his veins.”

Kravitz pushed his hands into his hair. “I thought I was the only one left.”

Taako patted his back, “you just didn't know where to look.”

He looked at Taako. “Are you…?”

“I'm the only full human in the group.”

“What about Lup?”

“We still don't really know what she did, but she kind of Danny Phantom-ed herself and has been able to willingly shift to a phantasmal form for a few years now, so,” he shrugs, “she's human, but also maybe half dead? I try not to think about it too much.”

That conversation, as… mind blowing as it was, was the start of the rest of Kravitz's life. Taako made some very compelling arguments and convinced him to come back and try again. It was just under a year after that when he turned Taako. He was hesitant to do it, but was convinced when Taako reminded him that all his friends were immortal, and if he wasn't going to do it, he'd go to Barry, “and I'm not into him like that, so I'd rather not.”

On the back porch, watching the twins, Kravitz finally understands the concept of a forever home. Why spend eternity running when you could travel and have fun and do much more pleasant things than packing? And why not give yourself a soft place to land when you need to rest?

Barry comes outside and sits next to him, holding out a drink. “They're still at it?”

Kravitz takes it. “Yeah. Though they've moved from olives to anchovies.”

Barry chuckles and shakes his head. “I think they'll still be arguing about it when the next ice age comes around.”

Kravitz laughs, and they sit in a comfortable silence for a while. “Hey Barry. You've been around a while.”

“Sure have.”

“So you've been navigating life as an immortal for a long time. Like, almost as long as I have.”

“You've got maybe two hundred years on me, but yeah.”

“Then why the fuck did you let me move the four of us through ten houses in the last hundred years?!”

Barry laughs long and loud. He sighs. “Oh, my god,” he wipes a stray tear away, “I was wondering if you'd put that together.”

“Well?!”

“Oh, man,” he clears his throat. “You'd been on your own for so long, and set in your ways, and so afraid of being discovered, we thought it'd be best to do things your way for a while. To let you get used to us and the group and what have you.”

Kravitz narrows his eyes. Barry bites his lip like he's trying not to laugh again. “There's more. Spill it, Bluejeans.”

“Lup and I made a bet on how many moves Taako could go through before it got to him.” He takes a sip of his drink. “I won, for once.”

Kravitz considers this. “What'd you win?”

He smirks. “You don't want to know.”

“Ugh!” Kravitz stands. “Gross, I don't want to know about your sex bets.”

“I didn't say anything about sex!”

“A non answer is still an answer,” he turns to go back inside, “next time just lie and say money!”

Barry shouts after him, “this is your life forever now!”

#taakitz #blupjeans #taz #taz fic #barry bluejeans #taako #lup #taz Kravitz #kravit adventurezone #lup taaco #taz lup #blupjeans fic

[lesbijkas]

chapter 5 of Together (Dead) Lunar Interlude

OR: A check in with the Bureau, as Lup tackles the weight of a promise her brother doesn't remember.

#taz #taz balance #taz fic #HERE'S AN UPDATE #funfact.. do NOT get sick when trying to write something. it sucks #anways please enjoy.

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

I’m gonna say hair dye stain + with tears in my eyes I begged you to stay. And I’ll give you dealer’s choice for characters but I have a feeling you’re on my Wavelength here

[from this prompt list!!]

Hair dye squelches against the paper thin gloves meant to protect Taako’s hands from the countless chemicals that are doing their damnedest to permeate his scalp. Ones with long and horrible names like methylparaben and lead acetate and solvent red number one. 

Some animals use brightly colored markings to act as a warning, like don't eat me, I'll kill us both. That’s why he could only see the cool frogs he liked as a kid in the zoos. He couldn’t get one at Petco or something. If he really wanted one, he’s certain enough money could have greased the wheels; some dickheads have endangered tigers in their homes, what’s the harm in having a few poison dart frogs? But it was a good lesson that money can’t buy everything. 

He looks at the small window in the shower and curses himself for not opening it sooner. This shit stinks to high hell and the last thing he needs is to pass out in the bathroom. Some places in the apartment have to be sacred. He rips his gloves off and tosses them in the little trash can next to the toilet before stepping into the shower to deal with the window. Once he can figure out the godforsaken lock that Lup had installed on it, it glides open with ease, letting all the fumes out into the steamy LA night. 

He leans over the counter and switches the song on his phone to something high energy and loud. 

He picks up the tube of dye and squeezes a big glob into his hand. Good enough for his scalp, after all. He massages the rest into his hair like shampoo, making sure every inch of his hair is saturated. He brings his hair up into a wet and mucky ponytail and twirls it about its base. Likely getting hair dye over everything, he roots around for a plastic bag under the sink. Finding his bounty, he puts it on his head as a makeshift cap. He gives his hands a quick and futile wash; it looks like he’s killed someone in the bathroom. Red dye staining his hands, the sink, probably his face by the end of this. 

At first, he intends on practicing some mindfulness; relaxing while the dye sets, maybe doing some sudoku on his phone. But sitting with that for even a moment makes him want to crawl out of his skin and stuff it down the garbage disposal. He spends a frantic thirty seconds looking for the hair dryer before laying eyes on its place on the cluttered counter. 

He cranks the heat up as high as it’ll go and begins evenly toasting his head like a little marshmallow. A scientifically appropriate number of minutes go by and he rips the bag off his head before sticking only his head in the shower. He braces himself for a minute before letting the icy water wash over his head. He works the remaining dye out of his hair and spits out the bitter water that drips into his mouth, bringing all those long and horrible chemicals onto his tastebuds. He’s like his own personal poison dart frog now. 

He blindly reaches for a towel and plops it on his head before scrunching, not scrubbing, at his hair. Supposed to keep the dye from fading too fast. Or keep him from ruining the towel. He’s really not sure which. He slips his phone into his pocket and opens the bathroom door to air out some of the fumes. And that’s how he finds himself face to face with Lup. 

“Your bathroom full?” he asks flatly, turning his eyes anywhere but her face. All he ever fucking sees when he looks at her now is her concerned, pitying gaze. It disgusts him, he’s not a fucking ASPCA commercial. 

“I just wanted to do some laundry,” she says meekly. 

“At midnight?”

“I was up anyway.” Thanks to your loud music, obviously being stuck on her tongue. Not his problem. 

He moves to the side and gestures to the closet hiding the washer and dryer. Lup steps into the bathroom, glancing at Taako’s hands and face. 

“Your hair looks nice,” she says, tossing a small load of laundry into the washer. She dumps some flowery smelling detergent into the tray. 

Any more chemicals in the bathroom and Taako’s sure mustard gas is soon to follow. “Thanks.” 

“I have some rubbing alcohol if you wanna get that dye off your hands,” she offers. 

Can’t even trust me to take care of myself, Taako thinks bitterly. “I don’t need your help,” he says instead. 

“I just…” Lup says, her protest dying in her throat. “You wanna watch a movie tonight?” 

Taako drops his towel on the counter and starts tousling his hair in the mirror. “Can’t. I’m going to a party in West Hollywood.”

“Oh. Uh, cool. Who’s hosting?” Her judgment is so palpable that Taako’s a little amused. 

He scoots past her to exit the bathroom. If he has to be in a confined area with her any longer, he’ll scream. Besides, the damp hair look is cool now. “If you have to ask, you already know.” 

She follows behind him and sucks in a quiet breath. “Taako, listen. You’re an adult and you’re allowed to hang out with whoever you like—”

“Gee, thanks Mom!” Taako snarks. 

“That’s not what I meant. I just, Taako, I'm worried about you.”

“Worried that I have more friends than just you? Worried that I don’t need to mope around your palatial apartment and look down upon the poor plebes out there like you do? God fucking forbid that I do anything anymore.” Taako wasn’t always this eager for a fight. Especially not with Lup, but these past months have been filled with cloying pity and a superior concern that he just can’t vibe with anymore. 

Lup scoffs. “This isn’t about you going to West Hollywood at midnight. This is about you hanging around people who don’t give a shit if you live or die,” she says tersely. 

“Oh, like you do?” He challenges. He grabs his shoes and sits down at the kitchen table to pull them on. 

“Of fucking course I do, Taako! What kind of question is that?” 

“I dunno, Lup, it seems like all I’m good for is embarrassing you. Your shameful fuck-up of a brother!” He snaps. He shakes his head, getting small red rivulets of hair dye on the wall. 

“Taako, you really think I think that lowly of you? You think I give a shit what TMZ or Twitter o-or any other vapid internet wasteland has to say about you? They don’t know you, Ko. I know you,” she says tenderly. 

Taako almost believes it. “You don’t fucking know me, Lup. You haven’t in a while.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

“Thought you didn’t want me to lie to you anymore.” His phone vibrates and he rises from the table.  “Don’t wait up.” He grabs a bag he stashed by the entryway. 

Lup hurries after him. “Taako, please. Can we just talk for a little longer? I’ll make up some cocoa, I’ll drive you there.” She’s all but begging now. She’s tearful and it makes Taako’s stomach churn. 

“I’m done talking, Lup.” Taako says. He can’t look at her when he says it. He slams the door behind him, ignoring whatever she calls down the hallway to him, and hurries to the elevator, ready to forget about this whole melodrama.

#rip (reeses in pieces) #finnrnertens #reese writes #oh celebrity twin au my beloved #taz balance #lup #taako #taz fic #prompt fill #thank you hali >:3 #ask to tag