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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

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Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself. except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it. he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that. so happy ❤️

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caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story. Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes? Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him. Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard. ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’). But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’ a source close to the couple reported.

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right. To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar.

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.

Is this the best she thinks she can do? So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer.

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate. From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship. Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson?? I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea. “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious. “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second. He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment. “I haven’t talked to him in… years? I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it. And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other. But he has his own problems. I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl. You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him. “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first. Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name. And I’m not perfect. Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly. “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries. When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away. “Don’t read the comments, okay? None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well. In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously? I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words. “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing. I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured. “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it? Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted. "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head. In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized. What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker. “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway. BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door. Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face. “Are you—?’

“Hungry? Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk. “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified. “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you! Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl. “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space. “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked. “And not just with random delivery drivers. I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!” You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained. “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen? By people?”

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes. “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened. “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked. “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning. “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed. “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off. “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought. “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know. Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do. I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled. “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky. “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table. “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already. I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb. I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you. I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek. “I think so, too.”

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress. “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant? You’re still paying me,” he reminded you. “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff. You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided. “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard? Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever. As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress. Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet. It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

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mo2k · 3 years

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Imagine…you meeting the pillars for the first time💕. (pt.8)

No.8 : Himejima Gyomei

Synopsis : You were sauntering around the town,just finding things you need or maybe you got bored and wanted to stroll a little (orrrrr,it can be anything else~I’ll let you decide/choose to why are you here •~•),but then again…something unexpected is bound to happen…

(Y/n) was just strolling around the town,when she heard some noises that somehow managed to catch her attention…

It was a sound of crying…Someone’s crying…

‘What is it?This sound…looks like someone’s crying…maybe a child gets lost with his/her mother?But the sound’s…definitely not someone who’s young…’ Her mind is racing with thoughts that she cannot help but take a look of where the noise’s coming from out of her pure curiosity…

She quickly whipped her head to the direction where the sound’s coming from,and she had to stop in her tracks the moment she saw the source of that crying sound…

It was a man…full-grown man…he was sitting on the ground,crying-no offend though!But just…um…how do I explained this???…He was crying…and praying (?) in front of a mother with her child by her side…

You blinked several times…confused to why is he crying and welp-um…To be honest,he doesn’t look like someone who’ll get close to tears easily…Damn-just look at his well-built body!

But still…here he is…crying and praying over something that you (tbh-everybody there) couldn’t quite understand what it is… -_-

He still didn’t noticed that his actions have caught lots,lots of attention of the people who’s nearby…so you being you…just couldn’t stop yourself from going in and help fixed this situation…

(Y/n) : “Um…hello?” *You speak carefully as you grabbed him gently by the shoulder… And he flinched by your touch…*

He slowly turn his head to you,and that when you see that he’s blind…You instantly felt bad about the thoughts you have for him earlier…The mother quickly seized this chance,she grabbed her child’s hand and run away from him…

‘That’s quite unfriendly…’ You narrowed your eyes disapprovingly after them,when you look down again you could clearly see more tears brimming in his eyes,you were even more confused…but you let it go,then you help pulled him up from the ground-he’s quite heavy,you gotta admitted,but still,whatever-

Gyomei : “Thank you and…yes?Do you need something?” *His voice is smooth and deep,but there’s kindness and gentleness laced in his voice…which just make you feel even more guilty…*

(Y/n) : “Oh…I just saw you…um crying,no offend!But…I just…wanna come and ask if you’re alright…” *You trailed of in your last part… ‘He must have a bad day’ You thought sympathetically… You eyes is filled with worry as you look down at him*

And he just…crying even harder???You were just getting helpless and helpless as you don’t know the reason to why he’s crying… ‘Did I just say something wrong?Did I make him feel even worse?What should I do????’ You were so confused and flustered,no doubt-

Gyomei : “I just-…” *He manage to choke his words out,his voice’s shaky,and you waited for his answer in anticipation…* “I just feel so delighted to witness the situation that how pure of a mother’s love could have for her child…”

Ok…you were shocked… Like, ‘What did you just say?’ kind of thing ya’know?

(Y/n) : “So…you were crying because of that?” *You chose your words carefully,afraid that you might make him cry even more…*

And he just nodded stiffly😬…

(Y/n) : “Ah ha ha…I…kinda (?) get it now…” *You laughed nervously,and he just blinked…*

Gyomei : “You do?” *He ask,disbelief (well-you couldn’t believe him too but,just…um,forget that-) *

(Y/n) : “Uh-Huh!Of course!Why wouldn’t I” *Ok,here me out-though you still couldn’t quite grasp why is he crying,you still understand that everyone’s different and he has own reason to be crying about something*

Gyomei : *He sighed in relief* “I’m glad,a lot of people told me that they can’t understand why I’m always crying,I’m glad I met you” *He smiled gently at you,and you smiled back,a little blushed tinted your face ‘H-how can he compliment people with a straight face!?’ You wondered…Your eyes roam to everywhere but his eyes* (Not to mention that more tears just flowed out of his eyes like a waterfall…He just be really glad he finally found someone who understand him👀*

(Y/n) : “Well,I’m glad I met you too…and um…May I ask your name please?If you don’t mind…” *You started nervously,though you’ve just met him,you know that you wanted to talk and know more about him…*

Gyomei : “Of course,my name’s Himejima Gyomei,and you?May I also ask who might you be?” *He laughed airily,and you beamed even more (so do your blush~✨)*

(Y/n) : “Oh my name’s (L/n) (Y/n)!Nice to meet you Himejima-san-” *Your hand was outstretched,offering him a handshake,but that’s when the realization hit you, ‘Himejima Gyomei’…you know that name…He is a Stone Pillar!!!! O-O Although you haven’t met him before,but you’ve heard about the pillars and respected them with all your heart…*

You quickly bowed at him, “Please forgive me sir!I didn’t know that it was you!” *You squeeze your eyes shut in fear of what would happen next,but you must be surprised of his reaction…*

He just move you back to your original position,before saying, “There’s no ‘sir’ or other formalities here,please just called me ‘Gyomei’,you’ve helped me a lot and I’m grateful for it”

And It seems that the two of you just forget that there was a whole crowd still watching and peering nosily at the the two of you…the instant they heard he was a pillar,they all quickly repeat your actions earlier and bowed down at him…

Gyomei sighed tiredly, “Should we go to another place now?People are watching us…” and you nodded, “Then let’s just go” You answered quickly as you grabbed his hand and run away from people…

He was surprised,but didn’t protest or do anything to stop you-he just let you drag him along with you (Such a good boi ;^;) ok,maybe he tightened his hold around you a little with a light flushed pink face👀

At last…you two have arrived to a quiet park with little people in there…

Gyomei : “You really didn’t have to hold my hand you know…” *He finally state as you two let yourself drop on a bench*

That’s when you realized what you’ve done,you quickly let go of his hand,you eyes wide as you scrambled to find some good and reasonable explanations to him…Your face is deep red now as you (again) tried to avoid his eyes (even though he’s blind,which you’re somehow grateful bc he couldn’t see just how red you are)

(Y/n) : “Oh I’m so sorry!I’m just so lost and don’t what to do that!…so I…um…uh…I-” *You quickly looked around,trying to find a way to get you out of this situation-*

Gyomei : “But I don’t really mind it…no worries…” *He cut you off,and you swear you heard him chuckle a bit at your flustered and embarrassed state…Your felt cheeks getting redder and redder as your body felt hot* (YoU DiDn’T LoOk Up To SeE HiS ReD FaCe-)

You cannot do anything else except looked down in your lap ( Why?simple-‘cause you were too embarrassed and you’re so red lol-) as you try to calm yourself down… o~o

Gyomei : “Do you-perhaps…want to get something to eat later?” *He glanced sideway at you carefully,you can clearly see…that he’s also trying to hide his blushed,and you just blinked at him…*

(Y/n) : “Huh?You mean…go with you?…” *You slowly ask,you felt your body rushed with excitement-(do I need to mention how red you are again?I think not lol😂)…and he nodded anxiously…* “Sure…” *You shyly smiled and his face lit up almost immediately-*

Gyomei : “Really?I’m so so glad-” *Andddd,he starts crying again…. 😑 (Hey~At least he’s cute looking like that!Plus you got the privilege to wipe the tears off his tinted red cheeks in the process of pacifying him!He also found your voice’s very soothing and your presence’s very comforting which makes him calm down a lot easier!💓) So you need to help him calm down one more time so he’ll not caught anymore attention once again…After that (once he’s calm down) you go and have some nice meal with him and also have some amazing and memorable time with him too…*

And this is just the first chapter of your little story with him…

Bonus!😍♥️

Ooh~you guys also hold hands too!He just found a great excuses bc there are so many people there and you or him might get lost easily~That’s a good and reasonable reasons to why you two should hold hands!And ofc-our dear (y/n) fall for it❣️So you guys just hold hands and act like a real couple for the rest of the day~ (It was so cute🥺Not gonna lie-)

Not to mention to how sweaty and red you two were when you hold each other’s hand~👀Both your hearts were pondering so hard that you guys might faint! (Shinobu!There’s two people who alsmost faint-) At last,the night ended with you two go watching the fire works,it was so late already that after some time’s you fall asleep on his shoulder… (you were sitting on some benches)

He didn’t move or do anything though,he just let you fall asleep while petting your hair gently and carefully (such a gentleman~) he pressed a light kiss at the top of your head while mumbling something like ‘Sweet dreams (y/n)…’ yeah,something like that

Gyomei also put you on his back when the fireworks show ended and piggyback ride you back to your home safely…Just like that…

-End✨Hope you enjoyed this one,and also-Ahhhh~this gentle giant is just so sweettttt~💕💗💖💝

See ya all next week~❤️I love you and have a nice day!☺️🥰❣️ (Don’t forget to take care too lovelies~😘😍)

Hello there,now I’m here to fixed some few things ‘cause I feel like the old one’s isn’t good enough.I admitted that I cannot do it as good as I expected when I did it yesterday…But I realized that I can always make/start a new one or try again next time,if I feel like this one’s bad…I can learn from my mistakes and improve myself to a better self’s!I believe that everything happens for a reason,and I’ll learn from it and try to improve myself.I hope I did it better this time,thank you so much for all of your kind supports or words,it really meant so much for me,I also promised that I’ll try to be better and better next time…Thank you so much💗

The arts are not mine!💓Credits to the artist!💞

-With love,BamBam🦢🌙

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer x reader #gyomei himejima #himejima gyomei #himejima #gyomei #@bambam2550 #New posts on every Sunday!🌟#gyomei x reader #himejima x reader #kny gyomei #anime x reader #x reader

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hold-my-hand-kuroo · 4 years

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phases of the moon

tbh when they told me that i’d need eighth grade biology in the future, i didn’t think it’d be for this

also it’s almost 2 AM so forgive me this isn’t proof-read

pairing: tsukishima x reader

i. waxing gibbous

At the young age of seven, you meet your lifelong friend for the very first time. Initially, you’re a little bit scared to meet your new neighbors, especially when you’re told that one of the sons is the same age as you. It doesn’t make it easier that Tsukishima Kei is especially cool for a five year old. He’s quite tall, fast at his subtraction tables, and exceptionally good at naming dinosaurs and reading big words. To you, he’s basically an adult and completely unapproachable, even after sitting quietly in his room while the real adults were chatting elsewhere.

His room is clean, and you’re amazed at the stacks of chapter books resting on his desk. They have pictures of fossils and big-toothed birds and when you open it, pages are filled with blocks of long words; you’re amazed, curious, but unable to read any of it.

“Do you like dinosaurs?” the blonde boy asks, watching you flip through his books just for the pictures. You jump a little bit, surprised that he finally decided to speak to you after what seemed like years of silence. He has a raised eyebrow, but he doesn’t seem too mean. You’re still a little scared. “Or maybe not…?”

“They’re cool,” you finally answer, flipping back to the page that caught your attention. “I like this one the best.”

“That’s the tanystropheus.” His reply is instant, and you start to think that all kids that wear glasses must be smart. He gets up from his chair and walks toward you, taking a seat right next to you on the floor. “Its neck is three meters long which is like, way longer than its entire body.”

He continues on listing facts and saying large words that completely go over your head, and really, you’re in awe at his knowledge. You can’t believe that he’s really seven, but you also can’t believe that the quiet boy from two minutes ago is actually quite talkative. It’s almost like a switch was flipped, turning him into a more animted version of himself. You don’t mind, but you wish he’d slow down just a little bit so that you could follow.

“Which one do you like?” you ask, diverting the topic and hoping that he’d stop. He flashes you a grin before flipping to another page. It’s clear that he has the book memorized.

“I like the pterodactyl.” Pointing to what seemed like a dragon, his eyes are practically glowing. “They can fly, you know?”

“Like birds?”

“Yeah, but birds are a little different since they have feathers.”

For the next three hours, Tsukishima reads to you, and even though you’re confused with some of the names, the effort you put into understanding seems to please him. It’s not every day that he has a companion to talk about dinosaurs to; usually, his friends would call him boring and leave, so he doesn’t bother expressing his interests. In fact, he’s so ecstatic at his newfound companion that you find him at your door almost every day with a new book in hand. Over sweets, preferably strawberry shortcake, Tsukishima reads to you, pausing once in a while to see if you have questions. Sometimes, he’d adjust his glasses a little, and you’d find yourself thinking over and over again, “He’s such an adult.”

Afternoons get loud when Tsukishima introduces the card game Dinosaur King to you. He’s all smiles when you walk into his room one day, running up to you with his deck and a deck of your own that he bought with his carefully saved allowance. Once the two of you get into it, hours feel like seconds. Rather than gameplay, you’re more fascinated by the card design, but since you know that Tsukishima likes a good challenge, you try your best to play well. You find your math skills improving drastically, calculating lost life points almost every day, and when you beat Tsukishima for the very first time, the two of you laugh at your own excitement and flailing arms.

Once it got warm enough to play outdoors, you pass your time in his backyard with his older brother, Akiteru, who’s actually a real-life giant. Even though he’s tall and a whole twelve years old, he smiles a lot and is just like a kid, except not. You don’t know much about him except for the fact that he plays volleyball, and according to Tsukishima, who practically glows with pride every time you watch him practice, he’s very good at it. You think volleyball might run in the family’s blood considering that whenever Akiteru throws a ball for you and Tsukishima to receive, you’d always miss while Tsukishima would bump it back. You’re a little proud that your best friend is smart, athletic, and incredibly kind and wonder if he’s just naturally good at everything.

Childhood is filled with reptiles, backyard volleyball, and laughter, especially Tsukishima’s. You can’t say you hate the sound of it considering that it makes you giggle too. For Christmas that year, you write a letter to Santa wishing that things would stay the same forever.

ii. waning crescent

Things begin changing when you’re both twelve. Tsukishima’s tall as ever, looming over most of the other kids in your class, and with his height comes the expectation for him to be a real adult. You almost feel bad for thinking the same thing five years ago, especially when he starts to smile less. It’s childish, he says at one point, renouncing his card games in place for constant volleyball practice.

If anything, Tsukishima’s more focused on volleyball than ever, and you’re not surprised. With Akiteru being both his idol and the ace of Karasuno, you figured that he’d want to follow his brother’s footsteps at some point. You’re not sure what being the ace means, but Tsukishima’s convinced that only the coolest grown-ups are allowed to have that position; you suppose that’s why he’s trying so hard to act differently, but you don’t mind helping him out. Tsukishima’s the happiest when you’re throwing balls for him to receive or spike after school, and because it’s the only time where he genuinely smiles without holding back, you’re more than willing to keep helping him practice. It’s the closest thing to normal and is painfully nostalgic.

You’re not sure what to do when Tsukishima begins to tease you. Sure, his tongue has gotten significantly sharper within the past few years, but you know well that he’d never tease out of malice. Not to you anyways, so you just laugh and tease back, because you hate letting him have the last laugh.

When rumors being to spread at school about Tsukishima being some big bully, you’re more than eager to debunk each and everyone, to show them all that your best friend, although a little bit cold, is nothing of the sort. He stops you though, because he doesn’t care. You don’t understand what’s so fun about being feared or ostracized, and you definitely don’t know why he continues to push his classmates away, but you don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t. Still, you wonder if the whispers ever bother him. Being cool and an adult at the same time seemed incredibly lonely.

Yamaguchi is a special exception much to your delight. Rather than being frightened, he reminds you of your younger self being attracted to Tsukishima’s maturity, and you find it oddly reassuring that Tsukishima is still able to let people into his life. You suppose it’s because Yamaguchi is interested in volleyball too, and now, he can pass the ball with someone besides you during his free time since you’re not that good at the sport in the first place. Nonetheless, Yamaguchi urges you to join. “The more the merrier,” he says, and Tsukishima seems to agree but never verbally. It’s been five years though, so you know that when he fiddles with his glasses and looks at the ground, it means he wants you to play with him.

Whenever you’re free, you visit the junior volleyball program to cheer on your friends. Tsukishima pretends that he hates the attention, but you know he doesn’t, and when you’re asking Yamaguchi about how practice went, you catch the blonde’s eyes flickering at you and then away. You know he wants you to ask him too, and you almost always comply if he isn’t being too mean to you. It’s fun to tease him back since it always catches him off guard. It’s then that you begin to hope that maybe, just maybe, Tsukishima would replace some of those condescending smirks with more smiles again.

Your hopes are for naught.

Despite fully immersing himself into the sport, Tsukishima’s first time watching a high school match ends with an abrupt realization. You and Yamaguchi are with him, and it’s devastating to see his face fall when his eyes meet with Akiteru’s in the stands, cheering for the guy he’s been lying to Tsukishima about being. It’s the highest form of betrayal, and after that single match, everything changes.

No longer does Tsukishima walk to volleyball practice with hidden excitement, and no longer does he ask you to practice with him after school. It becomes hard to talk to him, much to your dismay, and you often find yourself sitting in his room in silence as the two of you study. He doesn’t read to you, he doesn’t flaunt his knowledge. He just sits there across from you, not meeting your eyes at all. Maybe it’s out of shame for trying so hard to be someone who wasn’t what they said they were. Maybe it’s just the crippling disappointment eating away at his spirit. You don’t know and neither does Yamaguchi.

His image doesn’t improve that much in class either. You’ve noticed that he has a newfound distaste for excessive energy and big expectations, and it makes him more dislikable by the kids around him. His tongue is venomous, and even though you know deep in your heart that he’s a nice person, nobody se can believe it. Still, he’s never genuinely rude to you aside from occasional snide and playful remarks. That’s the only thing left that you can keep a hold of, so you settle for it.

The two of you are so far away from being adults, but it feels so lonely even then.

iii. new moon

Tsukishima’s aware that he’s different from how he was during his childhood, but it’s always comforting to know that you understand him inside-and-out. He’ll never say it out loud though, since he isn’t exactly good at things like expressing his feelings or showing genuine sincerity, but he expects that you’ll understand. The knowing silence that the two of you shared is practically irreplaceable.

Which is why it hurts a lot more when you choose to confront him.

It’s the night before his summer training camp during his first year of high school that you have your first serious fight with your best friend. In the past, your fights have been more like playful banter or simple bickering. You’ve never raised your voice against him and vice versa, but when you’re sitting on his bed and watching him pack his bags while complaining about what a hassle practice is, you can’t help but question his motives.

“Then why are you still in the club?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. He hums, his usual sound for acknowledgement, but doesn’t turn to look at you.

“It’d look good on my resume,” he answers matter-of-factly. You’re not convinced, especially since you know for sure that his grades are already stand-out and that he could’ve done anything but continue the sport.

You sigh. “Are you sure that’s it?”

“What do you mean by that?” You notice the small change in his tone and suddenly become aware of the awkward tension in the room. Slowly, he turns toward you, feigning a smile. “You know that it’d just be easier for me to continue, since it’s the only sport I know, right? You can’t expect me to learn basketball-“

“Kei, you like volleyball don’t you?” you interrupt, shaking your head. You’re desperate to know why he keeps burying his feelings, especially since the trust between the two of you was a piece of work years in the making. It stung a little bit, and frankly, you’re sick of it. “You like volleyball, so that’s why you keep playing.”

“Haven’t you been listening to me since like, forever?” he asks, laughing sarcastically while rolling his eyes. “I hate sweating, and you know I can’t stand the weird duo. I’ve said it thousands of times, hello?”

“Then you would’ve quit.” You say it bluntly, because in reality, it is that simple. Tsukishima liked to pretend to be complex, but he never was. “I’ve known you for years, Kei, and you wouldn’t keep playing if you actually-“

“I hope you aren’t pulling the childhood friends card.” Now that one hurt. “Even if we’ve known each other for years, you can’t be so sure that you know everything about me, right? I mean, I barely know anything about you-“

“Liar.” You feel yourself getting heated. You’re not sure if it’s because the conversation is getting nowhere or if it’s because you’re shocked by his words, but you don’t want to just drop the topic. “Kei, you’re scared, aren’t you?”

“Of what?” he scoffs. He grips the shirt he’s holding to the point where his knuckles begin to turn white. That’s how you know you’ve hit bullseye.

“You’re scared of trying hard again, because you think everyone around you are better than you-“

“But they are. That’s just facts,” he scoffs again, this time becoming more tense. “No matter what I do, I can’t even compare. Have you see how Hinata jumps? I’d just get eaten up, so why would I even try?”

“Because you want to, but you’re just scared of failing.”

His gaze at you becomes icy, and you feel chills running down your spine. Gulping, you try your best to not waver under his pressure, because you meant everything you said. You know you’ve struck a nerve when his eyes turn into a glare, face close to a scowl. He’s mad, and you’re at a loss of what to do.

“I don’t know why you’re being like this, but I’ll have you know that failing isn’t impressive,” he says with a wave of his hand. His tone is like nails against a chalkboard, and you feel as if the relationship you’ve built throughout the years has completely disappeared. “Let’s say I do try, and I get benched anyways. That’d be worse than if I didn’t-“

“See? You’re scared.” You sit up straighter this time, refusing to lose your edge. He glares at you, jaw clenching, but says nothing. “You want to become a better player, don’t you? You shouldn’t be afraid of being like—“

“Enough.” He’s curt and to the point. If there’s anything that he hates more than wasted effort, it’s being confronted and having the confronter being correct. Of course, he shouldn’t be surprised since it’s you, but he’s still annoyed. “It’s getting late. You should leave.”

You frown. It’s not late at all. In fact, dinner probably wasn’t even ready at your house yet, but you know what he’s trying to say. Getting up slowly, you pace to his door, opening it quietly. He’s not facing you anymore, and you turn around to see that he’s occupied with folding more clothes to add into his duffel.

“Kei…you know I’m telling you this because I know you’re capable right?” you try one more time, voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve seen you block before, and you can read other people so well-“

It falls like fake praise against his ears, and in his mind, Tsukishima remembers all the blocks he couldn’t stop, the ones that he knows that even if he tried, he couldn’t have due to a sheer difference in skill and talent. There were other people who were good or even better at his position, and he’d be damned if he were caught trying and still couldn’t compete. He knows he’d lose in the end, and he wants to avoid the sinking feeling of disappointment at all costs.

He thought you knew. You were there with him when he saw his entire dream diminish into nothingness within the span of seconds after all.

“Someone’s getting all cocky just because they’ve known me for a while, huh?” he lies through his teeth, nails digging into his own skin as he says it. He wonders why he can’t come to terms with you, but more importantly, he wonders why he’s choosing to hurt you instead. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself. Like I’ve said, maybe we’re not as close as you think, Y/N.”

You wince. It’s his first time speaking to you like that, and you realize it’s the same tone he used to mock others. Other that weren’t close to him at all. It hurts a lot more than you expected. Still, you refuse to have him have the last word.

“Fine. Be like that.”

The two of you don’t talk for the next few days, and you don’t even receive the regular texts complaining about Hinata and Kageyama while he’s gone at the training camp. It’s lonely without Tsukishima to vent to, and you miss the snide remarks he’d make about the people you hated. He was always there to cheer you up, but now, he only makes you frustrated. You don’t think you’re wrong, but you wonder if you had gone too far that night. Maybe you should have just left it as it was, or better yet, not have brought it up at all.

It’s not until Tsukishima returns home that you hear from him.

“Hey,” you star awkwardly when you open your door. He’s showered but looks exhausted from playing the sport he supposedly hated for days on end. The worst part was that he still wasn’t looking at you, and you’re so bothered by it that you don’t hear his mumbling. “What did you say?”

“Sorry,” he mutters again, staring pointedly at the floor. His brows are furrowed in clear frustration, and when you let out an audible gasp, he only grows more flustered. “I said too much before.”

“Me too,” you respond after taking in his apology. You don’t remember the last time, if ever, that Tsukishima had said sorry to you, and you’re surprised that he’s even capable of doing so. “I shouldn’t have brought it up-“

“No, I was being…rude,” he struggles. It looks as if he’s physically pained with the idea of admitting his faults, and if it weren’t for the situation, maybe you would’ve laughed. “I didn’t mean it when I said that.”

“About what?” you probe, and he grunts, foot shuffling ever so slightly.

“About us not being close,” he practically grits through his teeth. He’s conflicted with what to say next, but you’re more amazed at his honesty. “We are. I didn’t mean it. And you were right.”

He stands still, bracing himself for a response. In reality, Tsukishima Kei is afraid of a lot of things, and he hates to admit it. He knows that you’re aware of his fear of humiliation and being overwhelmed by others around him, but he wonders if you also know about how scared he is to lose you, his closest friend. His tongue is sharp, too sharp for his own good. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t lose sleep during the past few nights worrying about how he might’ve made you cry.

“I like you a lot more when you’re honest, Kei,” you chuckle finally, and he lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders sagging. You can tell that he was anxious and that it took a great deal from him to see you, but it’s almost endearing. “And here I thought that I’d have to open up applications for a new best friend. I was thinking about Tadashi, actually.”

He smirks, looking up. “If you’re in the mood to tease me, could you at least let me in? You’re letting all your air conditioner out with door open, and I’m in the mood to complain about people.”

You comply almost instantly, pulling him by the wrist through the door and into your room. Like clockwork, he sits against your bed right next to you, and it almost feels normal again with him telling you about terrible the training camp was and how he couldn’t sleep because the people around him snored too loudly. It’s relieving.

“I learned how to block better,” he adds finally after debating whether or not to tell you. Your eyes glow, and oddly enough, he can’t find it in himself to hate how smug you look. “I still hated the camp though.”

“Because you missed me, right?” you joke. Tsukishima outright stiffens straight, holding his breath and hoping that you wouldn’t notice. But of course, you do. “Oh man, I really got you there.”

“Shut up,” he grumbles, looking away again with a scowl.

iv. third quarter

You remember a few things. The sound of Ushijima’s spike hitting Tsukishima’s hand followed by the slam of the ball that lands back on the floor, the roar of the crowd, and Akiteru’s yelp as your iron grip around his hand tightens and practically cuts off his blood flow. When you break down the memory further, you see Tsukishima just seconds before the block wearing an awfully cocky smirk, and that’s when you realize that it’s all premeditated. From the way he kept glancing at the setter with such a cold and chilling stare to the way his arms moved over toward his left, Tsukishima had played the block over and over again in his mind. It was the seed of his efforts finally coming to fruition.

And then there was his declaration of love for the sport that was no longer “just a club,” his yell that silenced the court and stunned everyone in the stands. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted the stray glance that he spared you, as if to ask, “Did you see that?” You almost laughed, because of course you did.

These thoughts flood your mind as you cling on tightly to Tsukishima in the lobby after the game, ignoring all the obnoxious howls and cheers from Tanaka and Nishinoya in the back. You feel like you’re about to cry again, as the tall boy desperately tries to pry you off of his body without being too forceful, pushing you by your shoulders and desperately trying to walk out of your hug. He says something about you making a scene, but you honestly don’t care enough to listen.

“Are…are you crying?” he asks, voice mixed with surprise and frustration, still trying to shove you off. “You’re getting your snot all over my shirt, Iet go, Y/N-“

When you finally do decide to put some space between the two of you, Tsukishima sighs in relief and sends Yamaguchi and Hinata a glare for giggling in the back; however, what he didn’t expect was for you to take his hand into yours, gently tracing your fingers over the bandages. He sighs as you being to tear up again and runs his free hand through his hair.

“Pretty lame, right?”

“Kei, you’re literally the most stupid person I’ve ever met in my life, and I hope you know that.” He’s not used to being insulted, let alone twice since Yamaguchi had also given him an earful in the bathroom. He’s startled and annoyed but chooses silence over bickering. He’s still a little scared of fighting with you for the second time.

“It was only one block, and I got hurt anyways. It’s-“

“It was a whole block against Ushijima,” you wail loud enough for the entire lobby to hear. Tsukishima’s absolutely mortified, giving a look to Yamaguchi and telling him to get something to wipe your tears with, anything. “You touched the ball so many times, and you knew where all the spikes were going, and you read them like an open book, and you made their setter scared, and then you even tried to run to do that slide spike thing, and then you did the yelling thing for the first time ever, and-“

“Okay, okay, I get it, you thought I did well,” he practically pleads, trying to steer you to a less crowded area. The boy is desperate to escape the grins of his team members. “Now will you please stop crying? Actually, why are you even crying? I don’t understand-“

“It’s because you’re stupid.”

You ignore the affronted grunt he lets out and instead wonder how you could possibly explain to him about why you were crying. Would he even be able to understand what it felt like when you witnessed his fall from grace, the abrupt end to his childhood, only for him to rise again and become more than what he could ever expect? You doubt it, but just thinking about it keeps your tears going, and you’re sure that you’d have worst pair of swollen eyes after you were done.

“Why are you crying harder now?” he huffs, exasperated.

Tsukishima rolls his eyes and does his best not to tease you about your futile attempts at hiding your face. He groans inwardly, not knowing what to do when you were emotional. He’s not very in tune with his own feelings, let alone someone else’s, so instead of struggling for proper words of consolation, he heaves a very heavy sigh and pulls you back into his chest. He’s a bit awkward with his hands, not knowing where exactly to put them after you lean in. His arms hover around your waist, but he doesn’t dare touch you. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, but he keeps his arms awkwardly in the air until it’s time for him to leave for the awards ceremony. Even then, he doesn’t actually want to leave you alone still crying.

“I’m gonna call you later,” you tell him right before he’s about to turn around, “and I’m gonna tell you about how dumb you’re being. Again.”

“Looking forward to it,” he mumbles under his breath, and you barely hear it. Barely. “I’d clean myself up if I were you though. You look terrible.”

Your laugh comes out as some kind of sniffle or snort. Tsukishima shows a face of disgust. As is turns out, mean Tsukishima and happy Tsukishima weren’t mutually exclusive. And you could live with that.

v. full moon

You suppose that after years of pretending to be some kind of mature and cold adult, Tsukishima has to make up for the childhood that he ended earl on. Or at least that’s what you reason as he wraps his long arms around your waist, pulling you in between his legs. Placing his chin on your shoulder, he presses his cheek against yours, moving around ever-so-slightly, because he knows that you’re terribly ticklish.

“Kei, I’m trying to type a paper,” you whine, trying to shake off his long arms. Of course, he doesn’t let you, and you feel his fingers sink into your sides. You let out a yelp. “It’s due in an hour, so I’d really like it if you stopped tickling me.”

“Maybe you should’ve worked on it earlier this week, then.” He’s trying to provoke you, and even if you can’t see his face, you know he’s wearing his signature smirk. “I mean, you had all that time, but instead, you just-“

“Why are you acting like you weren’t the one who made me rewatch all the Jurassic Park movies?”

“You could’ve just said no,” Tsukishima laughs, running a hand through your hair. It didn’t take a lot to realize that he was trying to get you to fall asleep before you could finish properly.

“Even though you were clinging onto me so that I wouldn’t be able to leave the couch?” you muse, refusing to be deterred. Your fingers continue to move at a lightening pace, but you’re not sure what you’re actually writing.

“I don’t remember that happening, though.” His voice is playful and teasing, yet soft enough for you to start feeling your eyelids grow heavy. “Looks like someone’s getting sleepy. Why don’t you just call it a night?”

“I’m almost done, Kei,” you try to reason with him. You hear him sigh, and roll your eyes. “If you want cuddles so badly, help me edit my other pages so I can get this done faster.”

“I never said anything about cuddles,” he denies almost instantly, voice raising. You can tell that he’s flustered and smile to yourself at your small victory.

Despite his protests and clear explanation that he wants you to hurry up because he can’t sleep with your laptop screen being that bright, he takes his phone to access the document that you’ve shared with him, still refusing to let go of you. He always hated editing on his phone, but he chooses to tolerate it just for you. He won’t admit it, but he likes the way your body feels pressed against his chest and how you’ll jolt when he accidentally pokes your rib. He laughs at your little typos while scrolling carefully through your paper, making sure to tease you about them, as he also enjoys it when you get frustrated and try to get out of his arms. He’s fully aware that you can’t, and he’s sure that you know that too, but he finds the effort amusing.

“Why does it feel like you’ve returned to being a kid,” you groan quietly, annoyed that your concentration was being broken. “I know you want to be spoiled and want my undivided attention, so it’d work out a lot better for the both of us if you just edited my work quietly. Like a good kid, Kei.”

“I’m 23,” he corrects pointedly, casually skipping over the fact that he really did want your attention and was getting annoyed that you were so focused on your essay instead of him. Sure, he understands that it’s an important final for you, but he can’t help but feel just a little bit irritated that the bed was feeling colder than usual.

“You look like a hag but have the mind of a toddler, I swear.” Just one more conclusion paragraph and a works cited page. “I’m almost done, baby. Promise.”

“Am I really being called a kid when you can’t even do your work on time?” he snorts, eyes tiredly scanning the wall of words. He yawns and buries his face into the side of your neck. Setting his phone down on your lap, he lets his finger brush against your thigh and laughs when you grumble something about him being more of a kid for stealing your strawberry from your cake earlier today. “When you’re free tomorrow, I’ll buy you a new slice.”

“Yeah, so that you can steal my strawberry again,” you mutter with a roll of your eyes. “I know you, Kei.”

“Such a shame that you couldn’t have it,” he chuckles. “It was good, I’ll tell you that.”

As an act of grace, Tsukishima gives you a moment of silence to quickly add the finishing touches to your paper before watching you hit submit with excessive gusto. Laughing at your over-dramatization, removes his arms and all but drags you to the bed.

“It’d be more romantic if you carried me instead of pulling me around like luggage,” you complain. He extends his arm for you to rest on, and you adjust yourself so that you can face him.

“You’re dating the wrong guy if you’re looking for a Casanova.” He allows for you to take his glasses off and nearly presses into your hand that you place on his check. Moving his palm to cover your own, you hum as his fingers trace over your skin.

“Should I break up with you, then?” you tease, making it apparent that it was just a joke based on the amount of tenderness in your voice. “After all, my boyfriend looks at me the same way he does at dusty, old dinosaur bones.”

“Even though your mom literally called me today asking when we’re planning on getting married?”

“I wish she’d stop,” you sigh and frown. “I can’t believe she’s already talking about marriage when we haven’t even graduated yet.”

“She’s been talking about marriage since our second year of high school. This isn’t anything new.” Tsukishima breaks into a small, rare smile. “We’re going to graduate soon, though.”

“And? Are you saying what I think you’re saying-“

“I’m not trying to imply anything,” he denies with a grin. Cheeky. “Rather, what are you implying?”

“Well, do you want to do the whole marriage thing?” You question him out of curiosity rather than with an intent to pressure. After all, you had a hard time imagining Tsukishima in a domestic setting, especially since all he ever did was bother you and distract you whenever you had chores to do or cooking to get done. “I mean, not like right now, but in the future.”

“I wonder,” he muses. Running his thumb over your ring finger, Tsukishima thinks about which types of rings would suit you the best. His mind plays through design, color, and cut of the diamond, but he does this silently while chuckling at your look of confusion. He doesn’t want to say anything now, not when the two of you were still very much overwhelmed with what life had to offer. There’d be a better, more appropriate time, and he tries to picture what that day would be like and when it’d be. He gets a little excited by his own imagination.

“Kei, what’s that supposed to mean?” He only looks at you in response, eyes tender even if he won’t say exactly how much you make his heart grow crazy and how he feels like he’s the luckiest man in the world. He’s sure you know how he feels anyway.

“You’re tired, right?” he chooses to respond instead. Placing chaste kiss against your forehead, he closes his eyes much to your dismay and protests. “I’m already asleep.”

There’s something about his delicate and warm kisses that puts you at ease. From the way his arm always stayed around your waist at night to the look he’d give you first thing in the morning, you have a sinking suspicion that you already know the answer to your question.

“Love you, Kei,” you whisper, and despite him being “asleep”, you the corners of his mouth quiver slightly before turning upward.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima #tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #kei tsukishima x reader

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galacticnova3 · 3 years

Note

i want to hear 👀👀👀 it upsets me a ton when people treat nova like he’s evil hhhhghgh

I HAVE BEEN ENABLED.

OK SO. First of all, we don’t have any kind of indication of Nova’s moral leaning… in regular Super Star. HOWEVER, Super Star Ultra does give us an idea if you pay attention to Nova after Meta Knight makes his wish. Nova makes a very surprised expression, and one that I also wouldn’t say is a stretch to interpret as simultaneously worried. The latter point in particular is because of how you can see the white of his eyes, which generally represents a fear or concern sort of surprise vs just something unexpected. I mean look at him, if this doesn’t look like “are you sure? like really are you absolutely sure that’s what you want???” then I don’t know what does.

This is contrary to what an evil being would most likely do; obviously if you’re an asshole you’d want to just sit back and watch this evidently entitled blue bitch get his ass handed to him on his silver platter of a mask. After all, assuming Nova is evil also assumes he acts of his own accord in some way, and considering his level of power, it’s not like he’d have to be worried about his own safety in that situation we’re that the case. Basically, he had literally no reason to react like that if he didn’t care about someone’s safety besides his own.

Now, my second point is a bit more vague due to not being supported by dialogue or visuals but instead just understanding/connecting dots. Nova is, obviously, a clockwork star, and it can be assumed all/most clockwork stars function similarly. The only other one we see in the games is Star Dream… aka the Access Ark, considering they’re separate, but Star Dream is the sentient part, hence me referring to them in this case. Star Dream doesn’t seem capable of acting on their own originally; not until they take Haltmann’s soul and begin acting on their own perception of what would grant his wish to give his company prosperity. Even then, though, they’re still seemingly “locked in” to trying to complete that wish, even though they’ve not only become sentient, but can recognize that it puts them directly at risk.

Now, we’ve seen that exact same thing play out with Nova, in that he was still trying to grant Marx’s wish even though Kirby was killing him from the inside. Once again, to say Nova is evil implies he is in control of his own actions; if that were the case and he was just threatening Popstar because he’s a jerk and intentionally interpreted the wish that way, why not stop and interpret it a different way? After all the entire basis of this kind of morality requires him putting his own mean-spirited spin on the wish being made, so it’s not like he wouldn’t already have been just finding a way to bend it. Obviously an all-powerful asshole would not be able to continue being like that if they can’t also act in self-preservation when things go wrong.

That leads into my third point; based on what we’ve seen of Nova, he is at the very least not just self-centered(as he showed concern), and he evidently isn’t acting based on his own decisions, but rather his programming or equivalent. The latter point makes it difficult to realistically make him out to be evil, seeing as we haven’t seen him do anything evil that was his own choice. That’d be like saying a gun is evil because it was used to shoot someone. Both of those points do lend themselves to the neutral spectrum very easily; he does what he’s told, and doesn’t question it. If you want to be boring this is where you can easily ignore his obvious reaction and go “he’s not sentient”, and if you do that you get the bonus of knowing you have greatly disappointed at least one person. Also tbh the same goes for the evil interpretation imo; there’s literally so many characters like that already, ‘jackass genies’ is literally a trope. Why not do something new and interesting?

On that note, the first point also allows the argument that he could be on the good spectrum(not chaotic tho) if you squint really hard and overthink his one moment of expressed emotion. It’s a pretty tragic concept that I am admittedly extremely biased towards for reasons, but what if Nova is good, yet can’t refuse to grant bad wishes even if he wants to? Sure, he can be used for good as well, but someone like him would most certainly meet many more selfish people in his time(such as a certain jester) than good folks. It’s a lot easier to wish for money or power than for peace or comfort. It’d be like being a pacifist sword, to be honest; sure, maybe one guy would use you to make watermelon slices for kids or something, but most people would use you to do harm, and you have no control over that.

I’m sure that would get exhausting… Might explain his eternally tired look. Just waiting for the next summoning and hoping whoever gathers the stars isn’t doing so for nefarious reasons, but having no say either way. Finally some guy shows up and seems the noble sort, and then he makes the most dangerous wish imaginable. Despite how he’s become so accustomed to disappointment that he doesn’t even react anymore, because yeah yeah ok planet dominator #5018 it would be my luck that I meet someone else like you this summoning, he doesn’t hide his shock. Like damn this guy might straight up have his face impaled by a lance in the next two minutes, he knows that right? But no matter what happens, Nova can’t do anything about it.

Anyways because I want to try and reel this in somewhat, my last tiny point is that Nova is never fought directly. Star Dream Soul OS(the Access Ark part) has a whole external battle, an internal one with the pillars, and then the heart also attacks you directly. Nova? Nothing. He’s got some separate internal defenses that he probably doesn’t control (patas, volms, and dacoogas), but other than that you literally just break all of this old man’s ribs and subsequently induce a heart attack and paralysis. Nova never attacks or directly fights back, and Kirby never fights him face-to-face. I personally interpret this as Nova using what little control he does have to make himself easier to stop, even at the cost of his own life, because he never wanted to do something evil in the first place.

Actually I just thought of one other potential point. It’s at least sorta implied Nova was the one used to seal Galacta Knight. If that’s the case, why would he have been trusted to do so if he twisted wishes in purposely bad ways? Like that’s just an obviously terrible idea. Sure let’s leave someone who enjoys the suffering of others to keep this dangerous guy locked up, I’m sure nothing bad could come of that. Famous last words right there.

#asks #rambling #my headcanons #maybe I should make a rant tag tbh

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schrijverr · 3 years

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The Media in a Quirk Society

An essay or more a thought piece about how the media adapted to the appearance of quirk. How genres changed and how the media influences and is influenced by society.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~~~~~~~~

Something that makes me so very curious is how media must have developed in the BNHA universe after the appearance of quirks.

We hear almost nothing of media other than the news within the universe itself. For now it escapes me if All Might Cartoons are actually mentioned in the show or something of fanfiction. But another fanfic phenomena are pre-quirk movies, aka movies of our time.

The latter is a thing we must agree on, since there was a time before there were quirks wherein movies were made. This also implies that the pre-quirk superhero genre has existed (think MCU or DC)

I want to examine how that must have changed with the appearance of quirks based of what we’ve seen in the show.

When we see the beginnings of a quirk society, we meet AFO, who rises in the chaos and especially the scene where he takes and gives a quirk stand out the most. Quirks weren’t excepted yet, especially visible quirks, while at the same time a quirk means power. We also know the hero profession rises here, because it was too much for just law enforcement.

So we have these components, which all make for really great stories… in hindsight.

After the fact there must have been many stories about a lone police officer, becoming a hero as he saw the force around him crumble. Or a weak person, suddenly developing a powerful quirk that helps them get out of an impossible situation. Or maybe even about someone who feels they are deformed and shunned from society by their quirk and how they overcome it.

But at the moment it was happening there was still a lot of resentment about quirks and people who had them.

When quirks first entered the stage, people who had them plunged the world into chaos or had to hide like the man who goes to AFO to get his quirk removed.

I can imagine that if movie productions could continue in those turbulent times they would focus on the normal guy, still fighting against a suddenly super-powered villain or a quirkist (as I shall refer to it) take on a person who gets a quirk and turns evil.

Or they might even ignore the whole quirk situation in general with a new genre that can be boiled down to ‘No Quirks – AU’ wherein the movie is based in pre-quirk times. This genre would have a lot of nostalgia at first, probably, trying to call upon how simple life was when villains weren’t terrorizing the streets and heroes were just a funny thing of TV.

Maybe it will develop later.

Maybe it will become how difficult it must have been back then with no simple quirk solutions to problems. It might even turn into a genre about invention, mostly, with a fascination in the public of how things that run on quirk-solutions now, could have been solved by a quirkless scientist in the before times.

But back to the developing genre that is set the BNHA real world. Wherein quirkless people might have gotten a center stage in the early years, before quirks became so entrenched in society that quirkism developed against what used to be a majority.

I can picture a young Midoriya watching old movies wherein the quirkless protagonist was the hero against the evil quirks, telling himself that one day that could be him.

However, with the rise of heroes the media attention probably shifted.

The manga/anime describes it as ‘ordinary civilians with their own Quirks decided to take matters into their own hands to bring order to society, and thus the first "Heroes" appeared.’ as it says on the fandom wikia.

This shifts the narrative of quirkless hero against the chaos of quirks, to brave citizen stands up using the power they’ve been granted. Maybe they gave it religious undertones or maybe it was the story of taking the moral high ground and doing what was right for your country and neighbors.

In those early days you probably have more stories reflective of the pre-quirk fictional heroes, wherein the main character has to hide that they’re out there every night breaking the law to bring order.

It can be that at this time the narrative that the police is just the ‘villain taxi service’ starts to originate among bitter storytellers, who have seen the police fail where heroes did not. Though this would be more older filmmakers after this era is over, who start this. When heroes have become accepted, but they still remember how bad the police reacted before.

But on the topic of heroes becoming accepted, that must have been a civil right movement, a right that had to be debated with villains reflecting how bad an idea public quirk use could be.

You can see in the ‘Liberation War Arc’ how something like that could have played out and how it makes for interesting media entertainment as it is a story arc in our world, meant to amuse. Mixed with the fact that the first heroes created order in the chaos, there must be a ton of movies following activists or a hero not only having to fight the villains, but also the system.

And then over time heroes morphed into what they are now.

Hero became a profession and quirks the norm. After a while, just focusing on quirks got less interesting and using quirks as just a backdrop became more interesting.

Sure, you still had the hero genre and with actual figureheads these can range from documentaries to inspired by real life movies or just fictive fights with characters that are obviously based off a real hero or just the real hero. Especially when heroes became depended on their popularity, there must have been plenty that signed an acting contract in the hopes of getting their name and image out there.

With Midoriya’s comment about Todoroki having the backstory of a protagonist, it is clear that the hero genre is far from forgotten.

However, the “normal” genres also developed with society and with quirks becoming normal and no one truly aching for the before times, they must be set in the BNHA world we know.

The tropes we know (and maybe love) will get a new twist to fit this society or maybe disappear completely. New stereotypes and assumptions based off quirks appear, even quirkism might become prevalent in media, teaching kids that those without quirks are freaks or weak and weird.

In my mind I picture a movie trailergoing “She has a water quirk, he has a fire quirk. Will they fall in love despite their different personalities?!?” or “When his family is murdered, he must track down the killer with only the quirk as clue. Will he find out what happened on that faithful day or will the path this sends him on be the last of him???”

The horror genre will also be transformed with the fear of people misusing their quirk being a big thing in society.

As for fantasy, this genre will change with super-powered people being the norm, you can have to get more creative to make it truly fantastical. World building, visually, will be more important to distinguish it from our world, creatures too since there are literally people with bird heads, for example, walking around.

Not to mention the potential of quirks being hereditary that can be used in dramas where the partner has cheated or as plot point as grant reveal of a main character being related to one of the antagonists or even in gang movies as them training together to use their quirks and them all being the same. That would make for a cool visual tbh.

Disaster movies also will be different than they are now. With protagonist who can have quirks that work against them in their situation or if it’s a more hopeful movie how they work together, piling together their quirks and other skills to survive.

And the crime genre will be so intrinsically tied to hero society and with the police being seen as kinda useless, it will be so different than how we know it now. Did crime become part of the hero genre? Is this a piece of cop propaganda left wherein the police tries to save their reputation? I don’t know, but I wanna think about it.

It’s just interesting to me how in a world where the super is normal, media has adapted and this has been keeping my mind busy over the past few weeks.

The transformation in society of quirks as something dangerous that needs to be stopped, to a few brave people standing up for what’s right to finally the commercialization of heroes so that they can keep doing their job.

You see these changes, that’s unavoidable.

Media is such a powerful tool and it’s hardly referenced within the source material (which I understand because there are already so many movingparts), but with the fall of hero society it is interesting how all that propaganda for heroes might disappear back to when quirks first appeared and how the cycle may start again.

A/N:

There are probably so many genres and other stuff thatI haven’t considered, so tell me your thoughts about the media in BNHA!

((also I didn’t want to dive in how racism, homophobia, ableism will develop with quirks and notions people will have about them. It is important to think about, but I do not think that I am the right person to talk about it. If anyone does, tag me or comment the link, because I will 100% read it))

#RR writing #BNHA #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #quirks #quirks in society #quirks in media #movies #movie and film #idk how to tag this lmao

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mejomonster · 3 years

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I can’t watch guardian it makes me too hype ToT

Episode 6:

I remember why I Loved this show (like I don’t have a million reasons because it’s high key tailored to my tastes), so many parallels! Ep 6 is a great parallels ep!

Zhao Yunlan saying it won’t work out with a human and Dixingren, then literally later showing interest in Shen wei who he suspects of being a Dixingren.

A human/dixing fall in love and pick each other, foreshadowing zhao yunlans ass - also that guy being overwhelmed when he realizes he loves a monster, like zhao yunlan is grappling with the fact he likes Shen wei a lot but KNOWS he’s suspicious.

Shen wei telling zhao yunlan that human or monster is only skin deep, good and evil depends on ones heart - speaking out of turn because he realizes zhao yunlan empathized with the Dixingren girl, might be warming up to the not evil ones, and also zhao yunlan tolerating Dixingren who are good is a prerequisite to getting zhao yunlan to not try to arrest Shen wei (which would drive a major wedge between them). Shen wei paving the way both professionally and romantically to encourage zhao yunlan to keep changing to be more open minded, even hoping on some level that like Zhou Weiwei’s fiancé - zhao yunlan might pick the monster. Might pick Shen wei.

Shen wei telling the girl when he takes her that humans/Dixingren aren’t meant to be - he’s angsty

Zhao yunlan being asked by Da Qing - what will you do if Shen wei is a Dixingren? The same question the fiancé had to confront. And zhao yunlan will later pick the same answer.

On shen Weis end, he’s dealing with both scenarios at once: he likes a human (zhao yunlan), but also he is stuck with a doppelgänger who is NOT the person he loves and as far as he knows he will only ever meet this one and his lover is gone/dead for good (Kunlun). Just like the Dixingren girl and the human girl who look alike, both acting like the fiancé’s lover - only one is who he loves, but he’s asked to treat both as lovers when they interact with him. Shen wei feels like he’s in a similar position - this new man isn’t Kunlun, but he’s being flirted with and acted the same with and has no idea how to reconcile. Has his hopes up that it IS somehow Kunlun, fears it isn’t, it’s a mess.

Meanwhile, on the chuguo end:

At the very start Lao Chu looks to Xiao Guo and says “what to do?” When dealing with the sad fiancé. He’s already assuming Xiao guo can handle something at least, notices he’s valuable, or at least is open enough to verbally even ask for input.

When Xiao guo takes them to the spot, Lao Chu is so immediately touched that Xiao Guo is thinking sentimentally, that he wants others to be happy, and it’s just nonstop fondness hours for Lao Chu over there ToT

Not them but LOVE that Lao Chu’s addition to the idea was to bring beer to soothe the guy

That Xiao guo is already making Lao chu feel like a person instead of a man on a revenge mission/mission to serve, that Lao chu looks hopeful and warm and open, hes already SO beyond fond of Xiao guo. He’s already appreciative of his company, despite being so cold to SID and standoffish (and cutely competitive tbh) with Chief Zhao Yunlan. He’s already falling in love your honor and he’s way too far gone for it to ever not happen. Also just love how their teamwork together builds Xiao Guos confidence SO FAST - Xiao Guo is allowed to hold Lao Chus arm, lean on him, ask him questions and get genuine comments and jokes in return already. As a result he’s vocal and attempts to contribute often and bravely (he was already brave during danger since he cares about helping people, but this is even more just general growth). Lao Chus company and interactions have made him more confident, secure, he trusts his partner, and it carries onto how he seems to trust the world more and himself more. Likewise Lao Chu finds himself emotionally opening up to a human (to anyone tbh), learning to be gentler and more empathetic, appreciative of more varieties of skills, and probably simply safer emotionally to allow himself TO joke and be himself. He’s used to seeing SID as territory he is invading and spying on, used to seeing most Dixingren officials and Most Humans for sure as enemies (Hei Pao Shi is a big exception and he does have some detatched pity for Dixingren orphans and human victims sometimes, but generally he views anyone not himself or his master as not trustworthy and potential threats/targets). So finally he can start to interact more like the rest of SID - as a person who feels on some level he belongs. Belongs on earth, belongs in a place he can have friends, can have passion in the work he does and helping people instead of Only worrying about if it’s a human/monster to spy on or attack. And we know he warms up even more, eventually later meeting Xiao Guo’s family and very much wanting to get to be himself and be allowed to be there/accepted there. His sense of having a place to belong, to even dare to want to make himself feel at home again, really is helped by Xiao Guo just. Accepting him as safe and trusting immediately, Xiao Guo seeing him as belonging and accepting and liking him as is, just very much seeing zero us/them division and having morals that are a lot more specific than that. Xiao Guo just wants to help people, he’s that simple. He truly is THAT simple. And Lao Chu misses that, appreciates that, and it finally gives him a safe person to trust that he can be more himself around.

#guardian #guardian lb #parallels #weilan #chuguo #meta #yeah this turned into chuguo meta I love them ok I love them so much

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thepigeonsopinion · 3 years

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So, "Hack San" was released...

The episode "Hack San" has finally been released and here I am now, about to go on and on about the episode :) But first let's do a small summary or synopsis of the episode!

Warning: Spoilers to the episode "Hack San"

Summary:

The episode starts off with Marinette trying to make up excuses to stay in Paris/home, instead of going to London to visit her Aunt. So far, all of her attempts have been failures. Marinette then has no choice but to leave Paris with her family. Meanwhile, Gabriel or Shadowmoth creates a new sentimonster with the name of Hack San, which is a virus that allows for Markov to be vulnerable to an akuma. Then, Marinette contacts Alya to meet her at the train station before she is to leave. Marinette gives Alya the Ladybug miraculous trusting her to protect Paris while she is gone. Alya has a chat with the kwami's, Tikki and Trixx, in which they tell her the ups and downs of being the holder of the Ladybug miraculous and the guardian of the miracle box. Alya returns to the park that she was hanging out at before Marinette contacted her. At the park, Alya starts to fuss over everyone's emotions, mainly if they are feeling any negative emotions. Meanwhile, Markov is effected by the virus and is akumatized by Shadowmoth and becomes Robustus. Robustus then (through the internet) takes control of people and orders them to give him their most prized possessions. While on the train, Marinette's parents are affected by Robustus, which leads to Marinette being captured by Robustus. It is then Alya's responsibility to protect Paris. Alya transforms into her version of Ladybug, and while she is trying to find her new super hero name she is met with Chat Noir. Chat Noir does not immediately trusts the new super heroine and suspects they are the villain. However, this distrust is cut short because of the akuma Robustus still being at large. Robustus orders everyone to capture Ladybug and Chat Noir. The super heroes hear a person crying for help and while Chat Noir is at first suspicious, Alya heads straight to where the civilian's voice was heard. This turns out to be a trap and the super heroes are forced to run into a building where they are also trapped by Robustus. Alya summons her Lucky Charm to aid her in this situation. Alya or Scarabella receives a frying pan. This leads her to think of a plan to manipulate Robustus to release the people's possessions in exchange for both her and Chat Noir. Robustus agrees to this and releases all of the objects and among those objects is Marinette who catches on quickly to the plan and uses the frying pan to release the akuma. The super heroes are released as well and Alya uses her Miraculous Ladybug. And as always, Paris is saved once again. A few days later, Marinette and her family are back from her trip and Alya suggest Marinette/Ladybug go talk to Chat Noir, and she does. Ladybug and Chat Noir have a talk about how someone knows about Ladybug's secret identity and Chat's new found fear that Ladybug might not be there anymore, in which Ladybug gives him the reassurance that she won't be going anywhere. And, the episode ends.

Yay! Another very detailed and unnecessary summary of the episode! Welp! It's too late now. :|

Anyway! Now onto my opinion or thoughts on the episode!

(Also I'm re-watching the episode as I do this so this might have some unnecessary details. Anyway, carry on!)

First things first the, I know that Marinette is trying to get out of going to London and staying in Paris, but I swear her excuses are getting weaker. I swear she had better excuses in the earlier seasons or is it just me? Not to mention, since Marinette is so desperate to stay in Paris she purposefully trips down the stairs. Damn the dedication and I mean, I know that Marinette needs to stay in Paris just in case, but she has left Paris like three times now, you would think that she would have a backup plan if anything happened in Paris when she wasn't there (and I'll talk about one of her solutions later on *cough cough Scarabella cough cough*). Also, Tom's desperation and persistence for Marinette to come on the trip is kinda amusing. And the not so subtle jabs at the aunt :0

Moving on! Ummm Nooroo and Dusuu you know that Gabriel is RIGHT there right? I mean he could probably hear what your saying. Also, Gabriel are you just deaf or did you not just hear what they said? Because their right behind you. When Shadowmoth made Hack San, was the weird "Haah" sound really necessary? Also, why does the virus, USB thingy low key look like Nino's shirt logo. Are they somehow connected? Or did they just run out of ideas for the design? (Not me being salty over a sentimonsters design) Why the fuck is this robot doing like three things at the same time? I know that he's a robot, but come on.

Hmmmm. No other option you say? What about bringing the Horse miraculous with you like in Startrain? Or use the cosmic suits that can legit let you fly around the world? Come on, let's be honest here giving Alya the Ladybug miraclulous wasn't the ONLY option. Claps to Alya for doing a fake doubting act, but in reality just trying to think of a new superhero name. You almost got me there Astruc, you almost made me thought that Alya had her doubts about taking over for Marinette, but in reality is just super excited to take over. Props to you my dude, props! Also, I'm not going to lie Alya all of your name ideas are kinda weak, I mean the fandom has better name ideas than you do, but then again that is to be expected. Props to the kwamis for putting all the pressure that Marinette has on her back and transferring it to Alya. Thank you for making Alya aware of all the pressure Marinette's under. Even if Alya's probably not going to bring it up and probably will just brush it off. Yes, Alya just keep telling your self that this weekend is going to be totally chill. Not to mention, Tikki being more supportive to Alya than to Marinette, whaaaaaaaaaaa- :0. Alya you just told yourself that this weekend was going to be chill why the heck are you making your life harder for yourself. To be honest, if your acting like this already you deserve whatever is coming for you. Marinette, honey, why the fuck do you need to right down 675 tips for Alya? I mean I get 33 tips even 40, but 675, really? Not to mention, the tip about laughing at Chat Noir's jokes even if they aren't funny just to make him happy, why the fuck do you need to keep him happy he could be mad, upset, or sad and I wouldn't give a fuck :p.

I will say this again, how the fuck does a multi-intelligent robot that is connected the world wide web, that is also doing at least 4 things at the same time get tempted and corrupted by a virus by clicking on a cute kitty cat ad. HOW!?! EXPLAIN THAT TO ME!?!

Okay, so remember when we thought we were actually going to get a canon Marcenial moment. Hahaha welp Astruc you've done it again you have crushed our shipping dreams again. I hope your proud of yourself. Also, the most precious possession to Marc is his and Nathaniel's manga/comic, really?

Damn the amount of times this girl makes us and Trixx second guess that she's doubting herself, like she's done it three times now. Not to mention, why is her ladybug suit more detailed than Marinette's hmmm? I mean, don't get me wrong I like the design, but why can't Marinette have a detailed suit like this? Also why is Alya acting like The Owl? *Hoot Hoot!* I also just realised that the kwamis are a bit territorial, well not Tikki, but Plagg and Trixx have proven themselves to be a bit territorial of their holders.

I love Chat Noir's distrust to Alya as Ladybug because this shows a different side of Chat Noir that Paris doesn't see, but does Alya see this and realize how much of a ass he is? Nope. Also, not going to lie, his distrust kinda amuses me. Carrying on! Chat Noir, I can hear the toxic jealousy from here my dude, you might want to tone it down a bit, you've got a audience here you know. You know, I was expecting him to say his most prized possession was Ladybug, or even his kwami, Plagg, but I wasn't expecting him to say croquettes. OMG! GUYS! IT'S HAPPENING! CHAT IS FINALLY BEING CAUTIOUS FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF IMMEDIATELY JUMPING INTO TROUBLE!!! Also, Chat Noir being responsible whaaaaaaa- :0. Ummm, why the fuck did they just run into a building, when they legit could've jumped out of that mess, like seriously why isn't anyone using their head today?

Moving on! Why the heck is most of this episode just Alya trying to think of a super hero name like seriously, I know it's supposed to be some kinda of gag, but it's starting to get a bit annoying. Chat Noir being supportive to Alya: *slow clap*. When Alya's whole plan is to just to leave everything up to Marinette, Me: Wow! I TOtAlLy didn't see that coming! Hehehe Chat Noir with a pot over his head. You know, I thought upset Chat Noir was enough for this episode, but now we get sad Chat Noir and Ladybug reassuring him, just wow, you have out done yourself Astruc.

AND! That's that end of the episode! So all in all, this episode wasn't that bad? But it wasn't my favorite (maybe one of my least favorite tbh :0) Mainly, because of the appearance of Scarabella and ladybug catering to Chat Noir needs. This is probably mainly because I'm a bit biased, but in my opinion and I will repeat in MY OPINION I don't think Alya really deserves to get the miraculous. I mean yeah, Marinette has given her trust to her and has told her that she is Ladybug, but has she really done anything to show that she deserves that trust. If I'm being honest she has shown more reasons for Marinette not to trust her. One of the reasons being that Alya doesn't fully trust Marinette herself, and the other being that she disobeyed Marinette by telling Nino that she is still Rena Rouge and not telling her that she did so.

Anyway! Those are most of my thought's on this episode. This has been a loooong week for me with the addition of school now. So expect me to be posting more on the weekends than on weekdays.

Anywho! I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. And always remember...

But that's just my opinion (・ε・)

(This week has been soooo tiring and with the edition of this episode and a sneak peek of a new episode coming up, I know it's only beginning. *smiles through the pain :)*)

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zirkkun · 3 years

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I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol

This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.

But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;

I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.

Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.

I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.

Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.

The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.

Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.

I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.

I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.

Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."

I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.

Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.

Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.

Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.

So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.

Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.

Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."

So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"

oh my god the guilt i felt.

alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"

bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.

I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."

Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.

But like.

Oh my god.

Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.

But the second i saw mettaton ex

I was like

"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."

Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.

At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.

Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.

Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.

I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.

When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)

Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.

I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.

But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."

I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.

So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.

So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.

Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.

So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.

I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.

Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.

Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.

Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.

Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.

I was very excited when I beat Sans.

But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.

I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.

When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.

I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.

I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.

After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;

Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.

But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.

Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.

A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.

And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?

I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.

I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...

But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.

Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.

And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.

It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.

What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."

Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.

Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.

Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.

Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."

Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.

Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.

Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.

Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.

Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.

I...

Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.

And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.

That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO

But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao

#zircon rambles #a lot #lol #its very long im sorry #i spent way too long writing this too #also please don't reblog this

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ahgastae · 3 years

Text

worst chefs in seoul (outline) – kim seokjin x gn!reader

➥ word count: 3.9k | reality/cooking show au | crack | fluff

➥ m.list

➥ a/n: we’re back at it again with another wip i never finished lol. this one is the outline for what was intended to be a social media au (as evidenced by some of the notes i left for myself), though it’s likely that’s not how it actually would’ve come out. i’d love to hear some of your thoughts/reactions, and i hope you enjoy ♡

day ???

start w y/n and yoongi goofing off on twitter

the whole y/n eating a moldy grape thinking it’s a kiwi thing

and yoongi panicking bc of it

could transition into them talking about the finale episode of their favorite show: worst chefs in seoul

they’re both huge fans, and equally complete disasters when it comes to culinary skill

yoongi likes the show bc he likes the competition aspect and tbh he got addicted after y/n forced him to watch the first season w them

y/n also likes it for that reason, but the main reason they watch it is bc of a certain kim seokjin

anyway, they talk about the finale, and then yoongi says something about the next season’s ‘nominations’ coming up soon

y/n jokingly says they’re going to nominate yoongi bc of that one time he made tacos with dog food

and yoongi fires back w the time they managed to light the microwave on fire making cup o’ noodles

they agree to let each other live

…..for now

sike!

the two actually do end up nominating each other w/o the other knowing

y/n honestly just thought it would be funny if yoongi got picked and yoongi was like “fuck it why not”

little did they know…..

while the nomination guidelines assure that the selection process is completely random, this is a reality show

meaning for anyone w a brain that’s obviously not the case

contestants are actually chosen by the show’s assistant producers and approved by the chefs themselves and then the higher ups

but who are those assistant producers??

none other than park jimin and kim taehyung

neither of them keep their involvement with the show a secret, and one takes it a teensy bit more seriously than the other

anyway, they’re usually told to find a batch of contestants (that they feel) would conjure up the most drama for the show

it is tv, after all, and they have to keep people watching

and that part is crucial

to their credit, they do (somewhat) succeed for the most part

jimin selects yoongi and namjoon from the nomination pool bc he thinks joon’s clumsiness w yoongi’s nonchalant nature will work for max chaos

and taehyung chooses y/n and jungkook bc while their competitive drives are similar, y/n’s subdued nature has a big chance for conflict w jk’s out-there attitude

(how do they know all this? they’re experts at what they do leave me alone)

day ??? 2.0

y/n (and yoongi, secretly) is ecstatic when they get the emails/DM/whatever that they’ve been “chosen for the next hot season of worst chefs in seoul!”

but then yoongi asks if it’s allowed for them to know each other and accept the nomination

like they’re best friends. is that going to present some kinda problem that’ll get them both kicked off??

should only one of them accept it?

(he’s immediately ready to sacrifice his own nomination bc he knows how much y/n cares about this stupid show)

y/n says they’re not going to let him do that bc they were both chosen, meaning they both should get to go

but—

“it’s fine!! we can just pretend we don’t know each other when we’re on set!”

and so they’re off

to some undisclosed location in seoul

day 0

jimin and taehyung are the first to greet everyone, collecting all four contestants together for a tour of the dorms

and y/n starts texting yoongi in a panic bc both of their dumbasses forgot that the contestants are separated into teams as soon as they arrive

yoongi prolly says smth like i’m two feet away from you why are you texting me

(y/n reminds him they can’t make it seem like they know each other)

yoongi acts like it’s not that big of a deal

prolly says there’s a good chance they’ll end up on the same team

and if they don’t they can just hang out in the dorms when the cameras are off and away

which is when jimin loudly announces that this season, each team is getting their own dormitory

and that contestants will be required to stay in their dorm while filming the season, except for approved ‘outings’ for the show

he moves on before anyone can ask what that means

they’ll be allowed to pick whichever dorm they want to stay in for the first night, since they want to get the contestants’ reactions on camera when they reveal the teams

but after they’re revealed tomorrow, it’s your dorm and your dorm only

y/n and yoongi automatically gravitate towards each other

they end up together in the ‘new’ dorm, which yoongi grumpily notes is practically bigger than their whole apartment

y/n wonders if they ended up in seokjin’s dorm, and gets excited at the thought of this being a ‘test’ to see which chef’s team they’ll be on

to which yoongi asks what makes this dorm his?

“idk i just...feel his aura in here”

“.......okay, weirdo. i’m gonna go ‘feel his aura’ in the bathroom and take a—”

“yoongi!!”

y/n can either ask what yoongi thinks of the other contestants or they can both pretty much blow them off entirely for the time being

idk which yet

day 1

next morning, the contestants are woken up bright and early by none other than our favorite assistant producers

the wake up call comes in the form of a new group chat between the six of them

along with a link to ‘download’ the calendar for the shooting schedule

(which is really an app/virus that disables certain functions on their phones)

((such as most social media and texting numbers outside their ‘parameters’))

after that’s all hashed out, jm & t explain that this group chat is for any and all notifications and updates about the show, as well as any questions and/or concerns the contestants might have

“can i just vote to eliminate myself now and go home?” and

“how do i get this fucking thing off my phone” and

“when do we find out what team we’re on??”

the answers to which are

you’ll find out when filming is finished

and right now!

they tell the contestants to get up and get dressed as their first day on set officially starts now

y/n and kook immediately jump into action and leave the gc

joon lags behind a little confused but follows the flow

yoongi, ever the people person, gets aggressive when they don’t answer his questions about their goddamn malware

“is this even legal?? are you even fucking allowed to just disable our devices like this?”

“what if there’s an emergency??”

“looks like you’ll just have to find out, huh?”

yoongi’s phone then crashes and won’t let him unlock it until the first block of filming is finished

jm: “oops ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ”

day 1 recap

we find out through our superfan what happens during the first episode

(maybe do something like this person is some kinda press/‘news’ account dedicated entirely to w.c.i.s. and the two chefs)

((mayhaps they leak the contestant list before it goes public??))

((jimin and tae could have some kinda unspoken rivalry w them lol))

anyway the story is told through them in a series of twitter threads

(plus a few messages from y/n to yoongi freaking out about the teams they get put on)

first event of the day is: the team announcements

yoongi and joon end up on team kim seokjin and y/n is on team jyp w kook

being split up puts a bit of a damper on their plans, and with this stupid cell block they don’t know if they’ll even be allowed to talk to each other

none of them get much time to react, though, as they’re then shuffled off to their respective kitchens

where they finally meet their respective chefs

and, lo and behold, y/n is goddamn terrified

jinyoung is even scarier in person than he is on tv

“don’t laugh at me yoongi!! this is the guy who made a girl sob on live television!”

“and now ur gonna be the next person what’s the problem lmao”

while y/n tries to get past their fear, they’re given their first official task: work together with their new partner to create a meal of their choice

the catch is that they aren’t allowed any help from their chef yet

and since the teams were just announced literally like 10 minutes ago, none of them have had much of a chance to get to know each other

(the network knows this, and does this on purpose since most of the seasons’ first episodes are spent either arguing or being completely lost)

things go about as well (read: badly) as expected

y/n and kook soon discover their very conflicting personalities and spend the majority of the round bickering back and forth about what to make/how to do it

meanwhile yoongi slaps a piece of sliced cheese directly on the stove while joon runs around like a chicken w its head cut off

in the end, team jyp somehow manages to come out victorious

they cobble together some (semi) edible banana milkshakes to present to the judges

(‘together’ meaning y/n wanted to make plain vanilla milkshakes and kook switched it for banana milk when they weren’t looking)

yoongi and joon tried (keyword being tried) to make grilled cheese

but between yoongi’s cheese-to-stove method and joon dropping their two pieces of burnt toast right before the timer rang

they didn’t get many points

as their reward, team jyp has the honor of picking what they’ll be making tomorrow

they’re given the rest of the day to think and talk it over while team ksj is told to reflect on what went wrong in today’s trial

back at the dorms (now in their separate teams), y/n finds that yoongi finally graces them w a response

(and that they were right about which one was ‘seokjin’s’ dorm)

yoongi tells them about ‘that little shit’ locking him out of his phone and that he honestly just wants to get tf out of there contract or not

y/n convinces him to stay and stick it out, if not for them then for the prize money at the end

yoongi then asks what dish they’re going to pick for tomorrow, and asks if they can pick something he at least has an idea how to make

cue y/n saying that they were thinking of suggesting one of seokjin’s signature dishes but not knowing if kook would go along w the idea

“he kept trying to switch out our ingredients for banana milk and i don’t know how to tell him to knock that shit off”

“honestly you know i’m not one to take charge but he wasn’t even listening to me!! what’s to say he’s actually going to listen to the PROFESSIONAL chef here to help us??”

“aNd SPeAkINg oF THaT”

cue y/n whining about how they wanted to be on jin’s team and it’s not fair that they both got stuck w jinyoung AND a bratty kid on their team

yoongi sympathizes since he was looking forward to them being on the same team, but makes y/n agree that if he has to give the competition a chance then they have to give kook one too

“i mean yeah he seems like a bit of a dumbass but isn’t that why we’re all here? bc we have no fuckin clue what to do in the kitchen?”

hmm...fine they’ll give him a chance

but they still think he’s a lil shit and don’t really wanna talk to him at all, let alone reach some kinda compromise on what to make

they don’t get much or a choice, though, as they both receive a mysterious message from...jungkook? in another group chat?

the contestants find that they have all been manually added to another gc

except this one is missing the two assistant producers who love to breathe down their necks

everyone but jk is immediately suspicious

is this some of trick to get them to screw up?

to break some kinda hidden clause in the contract none of them actually read?

wasn’t that thing they downloaded supposed to block incoming messages like this?

“but wait, yoongi, then how were we able to…?”

but as of right now, they don’t get any answers

and they’re all too afraid to ask anyone but each other

“well we’re all here so...we might as well get to know each other right?? :D”

this is where we get our first in-depth look at the four people stuck on this show together, who in their lives nominated them and why

(y/n and yoongi’s lying skills are put to a bit of a test as they each rush to pull stories right out of their asses)

kook talks about bambam and says his nomination said smth about “adding banana milk to everything f*ckin thing he makes”

he doesn’t really get why that was enough to land him a spot on the show but he thought it would be pretty cool to be on tv and just went along with it

namjoon talks about hobi and emphasizes that he’s not that bad of a cook

he just gets nervous and confused when it comes to recipes and cooking which expresses itself in the form of his unabashed clumsiness

joon then asks if they’ll really be prevented from having any outside communication until filming is finished

he, like yoongi, questions the legality of deceitfully installing the block on their phones

y/n says there probably was some kind of hidden clause that allowed them to do that, as they “can’t imagine seokjin would take part in a competition that abuses its contestants”

to which joon replies that they don’t actually know seokjin so they can’t really ‘imagine’ anything about how he will or won’t act

right as yoongi is about to jump in and tell him to back off, jungkook decides that that’s way too much legal talk for him

he forces changes the subject back to the gc as a whole and says that even if they’re prevented from talking to their friends he’s happy they’ll “at least have each other :D”

y/n feels like part of that is directed at them and feels bad for how they thought he was ‘just a dumb kid’ before

namjoon, however, is still hesitant

he’s not sure if this chat could get them in trouble in regards to the show and their contract and what not and says that they all should probably delete it just to be safe

but that is unanimously vetoed by y/n and kook (and yoongi, reluctantly) and they decide that if the block allowed it to pass through then it must be allowed

before joon can argue anymore, they all receive a message from tae in the ‘official’ gc

he briefly explains the lights out policy of the dorms and tells them that they’re probably going to want a good night's sleep for their ‘big day’ tomorrow

yoongi then says smth like “well...guess that’s lights out then” and jk responds excited as ever w “night guys!! see you all in the morning! :)”

and y/n can feel their soul leaving their body for even thinking anything ill about him

day 2

contestants are woken up bright and early by alarms they didn’t set

(“oh great, so they just hijacked every app on our fucking phones then”

jimin tells them all to hurry up, get dressed, and meet the chauffeur outside bc they can’t afford to be late

(“literally! every second you waste is money docked from the network’s wallet! so get your asses in gear, guppies!”)

y/n and kook get outside first, but yoongi and joon are nowhere to be seen

y/n decides to text the q & a gc to get the dirt on seokjin

they kinda start sucking up to jimin and tae to see if they’ll reveal any info, particularly about what the chef is like and if it’s possible for him to talk to the ‘other’ team’s contestants

and while the producers are pleasantly surprised that one of the contestants actually want to use that gc for something other than yelling at them

they unfortunately can’t give much info besides what most people already know

and confirm that one of the chefs talking to the other’s students was probably not allowed, but that it’s also never really happened before so they’re not really sure lmao

(“taehyung!!” “what? was i not supposed to say that?”)

jimin cuts the conversation short there as yoongi and joon arrive and they all get on the shuttle for the set

taehyung does say one last thing tho

“good luck!! hopefully they don’t tear u up too bad!”

but first

our superfan gives us the downlow on the competition and how it works

after being split into teams, the contestants will rotate between ‘training’ w their chef and competing against each other in timed trial rounds

prizes can be won for both events, but the ones for the trial rounds are generally more competition based while the ones for the training rounds are more about luxury/quality of life while filming

each trial round win counts as a point towards the team’s score in the competition

only trial rounds affect this score

once a certain number of points has been reached (5), that team moves into the next phase of the competition

instead of working as a team, they are split up and now have to work against each other to win the favor of their chef

and in the finale, after one last big cookout competition, an individual winner is chosen and crowned a ‘former’ worst chef in seoul

once the contestants arrive on set, the chefs reiterate that today is just a training round

(they all let out a collective sigh of relief)

and it’s a good thing everyone woke up so early bc they’re just in time to learn how to make breakfast!!

“it’s not like we had much of a choice-oof.”

“anyway! team jyp, since you won the pretrial round yesterday, you get to decide what both teams will be learning how to make today. so, y/n, jungkook. think carefully. what do you want for breakfast?”

y/n is about to suggest seokjin’s signature strawberry and cream crepes when jungkook, who is still half asleep, blurts out “omelette”

(also i’ve decided that jackson is the host of the show now and i’m not changing my mind)

and it’s decided. they’re makin’ omelettes

(y/n is only a little bit peeved)

shuffled off to their separate kitchens, y/n is reminded of just how terrified they are of jinyoung

sure, they thought he was scary yesterday when they realized they were on his team, but now he has to actually teach them and they can’t help but think he’s going to make them into an idiot sandwich by the end of the day

as such, they try to keep half-asleep kook in between them and jinyoung at all costs, even if it meant running around the kitchen like a lost puppy

jinyoung, fully aware of how the show portrays him and how fans view him, notices this almost instantaneously

but he unfortunately doesn’t get to pull y/n aside to address it before jungkook starts digging through the fridge for banana milk and almost throws the entire carton of eggs on the floor

professional chef jyp mode: on

and they’re off

it’s a little difficult with y/n dancing around the kitchen anxiously and jungkook’s absolute aversion to being told what to do (as y/n predicted), but jinyoung manages to whip them into shape long enough to (barely) make a ham, cheese, and “green onion? wtf is that?” omelette

team seokjin, however, does not favor as well

yoongi apparently doesn’t know what tf a green onion is either and just throws in whatever green vegetable he can find while jin is struggling to keep namjoon from setting himself on fire

….and it turned out to be celery

that, plus joon somehow managing to burn the omelette to a crisp, costs them the training round

y/n and kook start to celebrate their victory and actually working as a team when jackson informs them that their ‘prize’ is they get to eat what they cooked while the other team gets whatever is left over on the catering table

“i hope you listened to your chef!”

“...jungkook, please tell me you used actual milk in this”

“um…”

back at the dorms, the contestants share their thoughts on their first day of training, as well as their first official day w their chefs

(also include y/n saying something about their banana milk omelettes actually not being half bad)

y/n immediately recalls how much they were terrified of jinyoung, almost cutting their finger off when he glanced over their shoulder when they were slicing the green onions

jk agrees, adding smth about how he didn’t think a scowl could ever be so intimidating

“it reminded me of my mom’s face when she found out i tried to pierce my own ears in the bathroom in middle school!! i was too afraid to push the needle all the way through and walked around with it in my ear all day until one of my teachers finally noticed and sent me to the office!”

...ok jungkook

during all of this, yoongi and joon are both like...wtf

“seokjin was literally nothing but nice to us. even when namjoon almost set his sleeve on fire lmao”

“hyung how did u manage that” “doesn’t matter”

jungkook thinks the difference in the chefs is hilarious, but y/n is only upsetti spaghetti

they go on a bit of a rant about how badly they wanted to be on jin’s team

saying something about how jinyoung is scary and mean and they’re almost positive he can sense their fear or something and probably use it against them while jin’s team would be so much better on the sole fact that they wouldn’t feel like he would turn them into an omelette for getting something wrong

cue jk being all babey asking “you...don’t wanna be on a team with me? :((“

and y/n immediately PANICS and tries to explain that NO, it’s not HIM but yoongi saves their ass by saying that seokjin is just their favorite and that’s all

jungkook feels better, but then namjoon is like “hol up. we all just met. how could you possibly know that?”

insert more y/n fumbling and jk confusion

yoongi (once again) covers w some bullshit story that he was able to just guess that based on what y/n’s said in the gc so far

joon wants to question it further, but jungkook informs them that the lights out call just came in before he can

another yoony/n sigh of relief

in private, y/n freaks out to yoongi for almost blowing their cover to the others

prompting a short conversation over whether they think they can trust them or not

y/n admits that they’re warming up to kook, but is a little suspicious if namjoon will keep their secret yet

convo ends with yoongi saying something like “well, the kid’s right about one thing. at least we know we have each other”

end.

#kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x you #jin x reader #jin x you #bts jin x reader #jin #kim seokjin #bts jin #jin fic #seokjin fic #bts x reader #bts x you #bts crack #bts fluff #me releasing my old wips to try and make up for the fact that i haven't actually written or posted anything for months?#it's more likely than you think #my writing #on hiatus 🌙

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lucycola · 3 years

Text

the long ass review none of yall wanted but are still getting

Ooooook.... Finally got a moment to read and review in peace. Seriously, it was like the universe did not want me reading this chapter. Always something coming up like "thou shall not read the smut". But God and the universe can pry this chapter out of my cold dead hands.

Op, you said that you weren't crazy about how it came out, and I get it. As a creator is difficult to completely be satisfied with your work sometimes. And imma let you finish, but if THIS is the result of you not being completely satisfied with your work, I fear crave to see what you're gonna make when achieving your final form the ultimate tribble. I had to go and reread the previous chapters before this one (I don't control the hyperfixation, ok? At this point I take everything that gives me serotonin and milk it for all it's worth).

Coming from the high of chapter 5, you would expect things to slow down immediately.... And they kind of do... But at the same time they don't at all. Yes there's no flesh eating monster trying to murder our faces, thank you very much, but what about the pining, the tension between our couple, the will they won't they. It's absolutely enthralling. I had to remember to relax because I was starting to bite my nails. If you think I'm making it all up, sorry, but I truly felt like that. It's just very well written and I got really hooked up, ok?

The aftermath of the crash and the loss of that many people is very well portrayed. There's gonna be a backlash to the one who survived and the effect of that one person is definitely well described. It doesn't have to be constantly present but something at the back of your mind, gnawing at it. Bones being this huge pillar of support and understanding, that's my jam. Totally here for it.

And then it starts. The back and forth, and the fact that yeah Spock is attentive towards her but it might just be due to the situation but he's still being sweet. I felt that bro, and despite having knowledge of how it might end, it still doesn't take away from the process and the tension of getting to that point. Which, tbh, I consider it a feat all on its own.

Stepping into a new environment and getting to meet new people is never truly described enough in my opinion (that's just my take, don't @ me fanfics writers), but I think you did it very well.

I couldn't hold back a squeal with Missus Spock, and I don't care how idiotic I sound when saying that sentence. I felt Scotty was a bit of an unexpected player. Usually in most of the fics it's Kirk and Bones doing the teasing (not that I dislike it, I live for that older brother energy), but it was quite refreshing seeing Scotty taking the lead and I can see no one better to come up with the title.

And how people would say it too!!

Up your alley definitely got me thinking of that line from BBC Sherlock "not my division". It's a lame joke but if it's stuck in MY head it's also gonna be stuck in YOURS.

There's a good balance between physical touch and her staying away because, lord, is being married to a touch telepath tricky as hell! (especially when sharing quarters with one)

UGH, the depth of character it’s so GOOD!

Due to being so used by media, amnesia can be turned into a bit cliché but you presented it well and didn’t use it as a crutch (which would have been fine, but I find your take much more interesting).

Trying not to be horny on main for this man is as likely for him not to sit slutty: it just can’t happen. Bitches be projecting so much onto your reader that they’re about to enter the astral plain. It’s me. I’m bitches. THAT’S MY DIVISION!!!

And the rest of you don’t get to judge me, we ALL clicked on this series because we’re thirsting after this guy.

On a more PG note, night terrors and possible PTSD are a good way to show her inner turmoil and THANK GOD you added the mention of treatment and talking to a mental health professional. So many fics go for the we never talk about our mental issues and we act like they are not there. You get my solid respect for that (among many other things).

Ok, I gotta admit that the scene with the lute was so heartwarming. I’m weak against a soft!vulcan boi, ok?

The love confession is so good, I could just melt :’). Sometimes it can be so hard (for me at least) to do it fluently and to not either slow down the tempo of the scene or over saturate it. You knocked it out of the park.

And then comes the smut….

Not to be thirsty but oh my fucking god. jesus fucking christ. holy fu cking shit.

Yeah, lets say that you definitely got me more than hot and bothered during that one. You just went ahead and grabbed like most of the greatest kinks and gave us an absolute masterpiece. Don’t know if you have written smut before, but I gotta tell you…you don’t have to worry at all.

And although I have no evidence of such thing, I got a feeling you used my drunken rambling against me when I said LET SPOCK SAY FUCK and was like ‘fine, let’s give them what they want’. if so, don’t know if to feel embarrassed or flattered

Oh god, he does dirty talk, battle is lost lads. Panties ended in like…Mordor at this point. It’s not something easy to do for his type of character, but you made I work perfectly

I do believe Kirk is never gonna look a Spock the same way after hearing what went down that night. xD

In order to finally round up my thoughts, pacing is well kept, and you manage to establish a good chemistry for our couple, the tension is absolutely sublime and the smut is just *cheff’s kiss*

I loved how the series turned out and you should be really proud of your work. I sure am and hope to keep reading your stuff in the future.

Fucking superb, you funky little tribble

ALL THE LOVE AND LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!!! :D

originally submitted by @lumar014

I legit cannot tell you how tickled I was reading this review. Much love, much love.

#the lone survivor #review #lumar014 #spock x reader #submission

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shihozaki · 3 years

Note

TW mention of anxiety

hi!! im so excited for your matchup event and i’ve really liked your writing style so far :) if it’s not too much trouble, i’d like to request a haikyuu male matchup please!! my name is joyce, i’m 17, and i use she/her pronouns. (i’ll message you my appearance and stuff :D )

i’m ISTP-T, a slytherin, and leo. my voice is pretty quiet and i’m just a quiet person overall when i’m around new people (social anxiety goes brr). i love baking, making hyper specific spotify playlists, and reading. i don’t really show my emotions well and i have pretty bad RBF so i usually come off as cold even when i dont mean to according to what my closest friends told me. also my self esteem goes from *i am the sexiest mf to walk this earth* to *im an ugly POS and deserve nothing* with no in between

my love language is anything tbh but especially gift giving and physical touch, even though i’m terrified of initiating it bc i didn’t really grow up in an affectionate household and i think i might be touchstarved :/. quality time is also nice since i’m completely down to just sit in comfortable silence with them, spending time together

in an SO, the most important thing is that they need to understand sometimes i just need time to myself. i’m not mad at them at all but i tend to isolate myself whenever my mental health deteriorates and i sometimes go a few days without contacting people simply bc i don’t have the energy to do so. whenever it does deteriorate, it’s usually because i just feel really down out of nowhere and it lasts 12 hours to a week.

i don’t really mesh well with clingy or unloyal people. i feel like i’d be okay if my SO focused on volleyball a lot bc i respect that they need time to work on their own things, so i wouldn’t say i’m necessarily needy in relationships. an ideal first date to me is going to an amusement park. i LIVE for the adrenaline roller coasters give me and i just think everything about it is super fun. plus it minimizes the chance for awkwardness bc there’s so much to do :D (i’m kinda awkward around people i don’t click with so uh yeah)

my favorite relationship dynamic is light hearted bullying. making fun of people and getting made fun of (with love ofc) is definitely a love language, and i’m not taking criticism <3 but i still want to be able to talk to them about serious stuff so knowing that i can wholeheartedly trust them is big for me

my athleticism is close to zero so in the HQ universe i’d probably be a manager. actually, i would give ANYTHING to be able to manage a team in haikyuu so rip 😔🤚

other facts:

i have a huge caffeine addiction bc i’m usually tired/sleep deprived (monster energy, coffee, whatever)

i also just love coffee in general (the aesthetic, the smell, everything is *chefs kiss*)

i’m more of a cat person but i still think dogs are so cool

my relationship w my parents SUCK so bad

i’m 90% book smart (my one flex is being good at math) and 10% street smart/common sense

even though i can bake well, i can’t cook for sh*t unless it’s avocado toast which i can make surprisingly well

i can be eliminated by a single peanut

Big Anxiety bc the only way i could get approval from my parents growing up was straight As and now my biggest fear is being unsuccessful 😎

artists i’m obsessed w right now are cigarettes after sex, chase atlantic, lil peep, the 1975, arctic monkeys, conan gray, and lana del rey

i love wearing my SO’s clothing and all of a sudden, their closet is now ~Our Closet~

thank you so much for doing this, and i look forward to the progress you’ll make in writing and whatever else you choose to set your mind to <3

Hi! Thank you for requesting! I’m also a Slutherin and a Leo, happy to meet you :)

I pair you up with Tooru Oikawa!

- You guys first met when you signed up to be your school’s volleyball team’s manager. Oikawa was immediately intrigued. A girl who doesn’t immediately faint when he waves at them? Wow.

- When he first made you smile, he KNEW he had to ask you out.

- First date at the amusement park, just like you suggested. Oikawa was a bit shocked that you enjoyed rollercoasters but that just made him more interested in you.

- Since he is the captain of his Volleyball team, and quite obsessed with the sport, he is willing to give you lots of time for yourself. He does check on you from time to time though, maybe by texting or giving a call :)

- Never makes you uncomfortable. He knows how you don’t do well in social situations, so he didn’t even tell his volleyball mates that you had started dating (of course they somehow found out later)

- Teases you SO. MUCH. Always makes some type of remark about your height and how much you drink coffee (even though he buys you coffee for Volleyball practice)

- He can always make you smile. He brings out the “Leo” side of you often, and raises your confidence up. In return, you help him with the “book smarts.”

- You guys trust one another and understand each other well. Even if you guys have a “silent date” (where you are reading and he’s watching videos of volleyball matches), you don’t feel any awkwardness.

- He hates it when your self esteem is low. He doesn’t understand how such an amazing girl could feel that way.

- Oikawa’s self esteem is sometimes kind of low too, so whenever you give him a motivational playlist on Spotify, he listens to it on repeat.

- Overall you guys bring out the best out of each other :)))

Scenario: When you guys talk about the future.

“We could get a cat.” You suggested. “A cat?” Oikawa quickly wrote down ‘cat’ on the list named ‘our future’. “We need a name.” You claimed. Oikawa shrugged. “How about… ‘Peanuts’.” “No.” Oikawa laughed. “I think it would be ironic. It’s a cute name too.” You rolled your eyes. “Okay, let’s scratch that then. What about our jobs?” You asked. “Quite obvious. I want to be a professional volleyball player.” Replied Oikawa. He grabbed the pillow from the couch and pretended to set it, acting as if it was a volleyball. “Yeah… I believe you can do it.” You smiled at Oikawa. Oikawa’s eyes met yours. “What about you, Joyce?” He questioned. You stayed silent for a bit. “.. I’m not too sure. I just don’t want to make a mistake and choose the wrong career, you know? I don’t want to fail.” You mumbled. Oikawa slowly moved towards you and pulled you into his arms. You immediately relaxed on him, your heartbeat going slightly bit faster. “You won’t.” Oikawa declared. “I’m sure no matter what you do, you’ll be great. There’s so many things to choose from, Babe. You’re gonna be okay.” You smiled. “Besides,” Oikawa added with a smirk on his face, “You might not need a job if you have me as your husband.”

Song: Campus by Vampire Weekend

I hope you enjoyed it, thank you once again! Constructive criticism is encouraged :) I hope to see you again soon!

#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #oikawa x reader #matchup #matchups open #haikyuu!!

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nad-zeta · 4 years

Text

Match up! (*^_^*)

Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to do these. I’d love to get an ikesen match-up please? I’m a 5’8 female (INTJ, scorpio), who’s body type is athletic and curvy. I tend to describe myself as sturdy. I have long brown hair that reaches my tailbone, with several ear piercings. I am currently a Master’s student studying marine biology, but my aspirations go far beyond this. My goal for a career is to be a research and field leader at a research institute studying marine life. I want to spend all my time in the field first hand leading the expeditions. I’m especially drawn to the ocean, coral reefs and killer whales, I most of all want to work in the Antarctic one day. Aside from my love of animals, my interests include learning about science and biology, building and engineering new things, outdoor activities (off-roading, fishing, hiking, camping), sports, and my one creative skill is writing fiction. I’ve been active my whole life and if things had gone a little differently I would have wanted to be a professional athlete. My favorite sports are alpine skiing, scuba diving, ice hockey, running, and underwater hockey. It takes me a long while to open up to people, which means I tend to only have a few close friends. However in the workplace setting I am very confident and I’m not afraid to speak up. I’ve had people tell me that I’m intimidating, and that my presence can have a great influence on the mood of a room/small group. But I’ve also had friends tell me I’m extremely chill, and never make anything a big deal. I see myself as very highly ambitious and the type of person that knows what she wants and how she’s going to get it. I know what I like and dislike, and I’ve grown past the fear of having people dislike me. I’m a pretty independent person. However, when I’m with my friends I am very much a joker, I love to make people laugh, and act silly. With only the closest of friends the chaotic energy comes out lol. My humor can range from immature to pretty dark. But I really need to know the people I’m around first; otherwise I tend to just go back into my shell. I can read people pretty well, which means I’ll usually try to make them feel more comfortable than myself in situations. This has led me to sometimes feel a little put out. I tend to go wherever, whenever I please. If I plan a trip, I’m going for a good time and don’t really need any schedules. I guess to end it all I’d say I’m very much the type of person that sees all the potential the world has, and all the potential I have to make a difference. Yes this can be hard and painstakingly difficult, but I won’t ever stop striving to meet the expectations and standards I place on myself. I will only keep going, learning more skills, going on more adventures, and seeking new horizons. Thanks again for taking the time to do these!! :) Sorry this turned out so long lmaoo - From Admit Terra (The second one running the blog)

Hi, hi, dear! ❤🌻Thank you so much for the request love! 🦊Hehe, you sound like a super cool person, lol master students unite!🙌🌻 Sorry for taking so long with this! Hope you enjoy this, dear, and I hope you have the best day❤😊! @sengoku-revolution admin Terra! lol tomorrow i’ll post admin Maru’s matchup!❤🌻

So I match you with…………… Yukimura

You were on campus attending a conference on marine biology that could greatly help you with your masters. The conference was incredibly interesting and ran late, only finishing around 10pm. As you and the other students and professionals in the field of marine biology, exited the giant lecture hall, you looked up at the sky and saw a flash of lightning blazing across the sky. You regretted walking to campus at that the moment, wishing you had rather driven, as you could tell by the heavy sky that soon it was going to rain cats and dogs. You quickly made your way back to the main campus gate, luckily you didn't live to far away. A drop of rain hit your nose and then another. You debated taking shelter from the storm in your department’s computer room, at least then you could chart down all the new knowledge you had gained from the conference.

That’s when you spotted a fellow post-grad student. You looked up at the sky once more and noticed that the lighting was going to strike the exact spot that the student was standing in. You ran and pushed him out the way. You braced yourself for impact but it never came, instead you started feeling dizzy and disoriented. Reality around you warped in a cloud of smoke.

When things came back into focus again, you noticed the man in the lab coat was gone, and you were now standing on the balcony of a burning building. You peered through the smoke to see a man peacefully sleeping on the floor. Unaware of the imminent doom of his downfall. You thought you might have been trapped in a dream, but the heat radiating from the flames brought your straight back to reality. Thank goodness for your physical strength, as you easily managed to wake up and carry the man out of the burning building. The man you had saved was incredibly intimidating and had the same look in his eyes that a shark would have right before it attacks, so you decided to bolt.

You ran and ran and ran through the forest, and soon your feet lost contact with the ground. You looked down and saw that you had almost run yourself off the edge of a cliff. Thanks to Yukimura’s quick reflexes, he managed to grab hold of your waist and save you from running yourself off the mountainside. He still holding onto you, as he took a few steps back to ensure both you were safe before letting go. You stared up at the man in disbelief, just where the hell were you. That’s when a familiar figure caught your attention. The man you had just saved from being hit by lighting! Sasuke took you aside and started to explain the situation to you, you honestly needed to sit down as it was a lot to take in.

Sasuke looked over at a beautiful blond man that reminded you of a snow prince and asked if you could stay with them. The man narrowed his icy eyes at you and gave a quick nod, before climbing on his horse and signaling to the rest of the men that it was time to go. Sasuke helped you up onto the horse, and that is how your new life in Kasugayama started.

You were someone who couldn’t sit still and always need to be doing something, so you opted to help out around the castle to earn your keep. Even though you were a little shy and reserved, you managed to fit right in with the people of Kasugayama. You were a little surprised at the mixed bag of men that you landed up with, as usual, it would take you quite a while to open up and come out of your shell, especially when meeting new people. But for some reason, they seemed to make you feel comfortable, and you found your self coming out of your shell and befriending them pretty quickly. You especially took a liking to Sasuke.

Sasuke was the one who formally introduced you to his Bff and your rescuer, Yukimura. This boy was definitely rough around the edges and did not have a way with words, unlike his flirty lord.

You were low key thankful for your ability to quickly read and sum up people as you quickly came to realize that Yuki wasn't such a bad guy. Although he seemed to think it funny to call you a wild boar woman. Even though he was slightly awkward with his words, you found yourself strangely attracted to him. He was down to earth and easy to talk to, and you found yourself relaxing around him.

“Hey dummy how many times do I have to tell you I ain’t no wild boar, call me that again and i’ll smack you,” you playfully quipped. Since arriving in the past, you had grown closer and closer to the aloof man. The two of you would banter every time you were together. “Awww common, you are definitely a wild boar, I mean you are just as strong, sturdy and athletic as one.” He would say with that mischievous boyish smile. At that you simply put Yuki in a headlock and started giving him a nuggie. He then started tickling you, which usually ended in a tickling/wrestling match between the two of you. Yuki’s wolf pup would usually get in on these playful fights that the two of you often engage in, and start licking the two of you mercilessly until both, you and Yuki are left laying on the floor breathless from laughter.

You loved that Yuki like you, loved staying active and going on adventures. And TBH Yuki was thrilled that he finally had a friend that he could go on fun adventures with. Sasuke would usually be too busy looking after Kenshin or doing research, to join in on these adventures. Not that either of you minded as you loved hanging out with each other. The second you found out that Yuki would run to stay fit every morning, you were ecstatic and joined him on his morning runs. This boy was shook! He legit has never met a woman that could keep up with him, yet here you were almost outrunning him. After your morning runs the two of you would always get breakfast together before starting your duties for the day! This is something the two of you did and looked forward to, almost every single day.

When the two of you were together, the banter and jokes were real. You loved to be a bit of a joker around Yuki. You honestly adored the way he would laugh with his whole body and go super red all the way to the tips of his ears, whenever you cracked a joke.

Speaking of laughing, you also had this crazy ability to instantly lift the mood in any room you walked into. Especially when it came to cheering Yuki up. As you see, Yuki has a tendency to take on more responsibility than he can handle and sometimes he gets crushed under the weight of it. But since you arrived, Yuki felt like he could do anything and take on the world cause you were right there by his side making some silly jokes and teaching him not to take things so seriously. You were the one that taught him to take occasional breaks and to relax, and that the world wouldn't fall apart if he wasn't working.

Lately Yuki had noticed that you were low on energy and not as bright and chaotic as usual. He also noticed that your jokes were a bit more, morbid as of late. He was determined to cheer up his dearest friend, after all, if you were happy then so was he. He stomped his way into your room and saw you sketching something. “Oi, boar woman what’s wrong, and don’t try and lie to me dummy, cause everyone has noticed that you have been down lately.” You looked up at the clumsy man and smiled, telling him it was a long story. He then narrowed his eyes and left it at that, although the picture you were sketching of the ocean certainly didn’t go unnoticed.

The next morning at the crack of down, Yuki dragged you out of bed to go on an adventure with him. You were super excited, these little adventures weren’t uncommon.

If the two of you weren’t off hiking up some crazy mountain, or fishing, you were camping with him in enemy territory as he spied on the Oda forces. Of course, it wasn’t all work as the two of you would go wherever the wind took you. Once Yuki was done with his spy work, he would send off his report back to Shingen, leaving the two of you without a strict schedule to follow, with all the time in the world to explore and experience your surroundings.

You noticed that the two of you were heading closer and closer to the ocean. Your eyes glimmered in delight when you realized that the two of you were going to spend the day on the beach. You wasted no time at all, climbing off the horse and running into your beloved ocean. The two of you played in the waves for hours on end. At some point, Yuki even fished out and handed you a pair of makeshift scuba diving gear. After a long day of playing in the waves and observing the ocean life in the crystal clear water, you and Yuki sat on the beach and watched the sunset. “Hey dummy sit in front of me, I’ll dry your hair for you. Can’t have you getting sick,” you wouldn’t usually let someone dry your hair for you. Still, he looked so cute with that blush spreading across his face, that you couldn’t help but comply. As Yuki dried your long beautiful hair, the two of you started talking.

You thanked Yuki for taking you on this fun breach adventure and told him all about your dream of becoming a field leader at a research institute studying marine life, as well as wanting to be the one leading the field expeditions. To say Yuki didn’t know anything about marine life would be an understatement, but the way you passionately talked about your dreams and ambitions had him straight up inspired. You told him all about how you were drawn to the ocean and coral reefs and that you wanted to work in Antarctica one day. He never told you this, but as you talked about your dreams of travel and research, he couldn’t help but make a silent vow in his heart to do whatever it takes to support and make your dreams come true.

In the weeks to follow you and Yuki spent more and more time together. Yuki was falling deeper and deeper in love with you, every moment the two of you spent together, and he was determined to tell you how he felt.

The weather started getting colder and colder, and soon it started snowing. He remembered from previous conversations that you loved ice hockey and alpine skiing (not that he knew what any of that meant). Hence, he decided to ask Sasuke for help in gathering everything he needed so that the two of you could play your favourite sports together. He had all his friends dress up and had Sasuke teach them all the rules of ice hockey. When all his friends were in position, he went to your room and said he had a surprise for you. He then put a blindfold over your eyes and led you downstairs. When he removed the blindfold all your Kasugayama friends stood before you, each holding up a letter that combined spelled out, “I Love you.” You were so happy and touched by the gesture that you couldn’t help but grab Yuki and plant a kiss on his lips right in front of all your friends. Cheers erupted as Yuki grabbed your hand, as you parted and led you onto the makeshift ice hockey-field.

The next day Yuki surprised you with alpine skiing down a mountainside. You honestly loved this goofball so much, and you couldn’t help but smile and shower his face with kisses whenever he would surprise you with your favourite activities.

Yuki honestly loved and adored everything about you from your chilled personality to your ability to brighten any-room you walk in. In between the war and battles, Yuki was always sure to make time to go on fun, crazy adventures with you, to explore new horizons. After he and Shingen finally managed to win back their homeland, ultimately achieving Yuki’s childhood dream. Yuki had one more surprise for you, and that was a trip back to the future so you could pursue your dreams.

The two of you travelled around the modern world, and you achieved your dream of leading research and travelling to Antarctica. And Yuki was right by your side through it all, supporting you the best he could.

Often the two of you cuties could be found on some crazy adventure, cuddled in each other’s arms and enjoying making new memories and living through new experiences together.

If the two of you aren’t being active and playing sports, you are spending a quiet evening at home watching tv and resting in each other’s arms.

Yuki loves holding you tight in his arms as he pulls his finger through those long beautiful locks. He loves to nuzzle his nose into your neck and leave sweet little kisses on your neck and cheeks as you read your newest piece of fiction to him.

Together the two of you continue to learn and grow while making the world a better place.

Other potential matches……………. Masamune

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have the best day! ❤🌻🙌

#matchups #match ups #matches #ikesen matchup #sanada yukimura #yukimura sanada #ikesen yukimura #yukimura matchup #submission

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getlitaesthetic · 4 years

Note

💀(1/5)Howdyyy! May I get an obey me matchup? I’m an 18 yr old trans-dude who’s 4’11” ft tall, pan guy leanin, & has ptsd, depression & high functionin’ autism, yo! I’m a college student who’s majorin’ in art & hope to be a concept artist primarily dealin’ in video games & horror! I have a lot of funeral & vulture culture facts bc I find it interesting! I also love halloween, pumpkin pie, cats, horror movies, metal, black clothin, haunted houses & video games!(MHW, pkmn, acnh, ya dig?)

💀(2/5)I have an uncanny ability to blend into the background but my biggest fear is people approachin me bc I KNOW I have terrible social skills & always come off as rude! Dsn’t help that I’m terrified of people, terribly easy to startle & incredibly quick to anger; Heartbreakin to find out, but anyways! I’m always mistaken to be a 15 yr old, especially beside my younger sibling who I would fight a grizzly for! I barely talk but when I do I’m quiet & whenever I’m excited my volume shoots WAY up

💀(3/5)I sometimes struggle with cog empathy & noisy environments make me jittery so I like to wear a mask to ground myself! tbh I jus like to hide my face due to past stuff! Some people have said I’m unabashedly myself & put 100% into everythin I do! Prsnally, even when I tried to fit in back in the egg days I never did do it right & oft given the “ask out on a date or befriend” on a dare deal so I’ve got MAD trust issues when it comes to people & take forever to warm up

💀(4/5)Okay this is way too long I should wrap it up, sorry!!! (;´Д`) I have problems with sudden changes & new authority figures. Oft accidental, o purposeful, clashin’ happens! dsn’t help that I’m least liked in my family in looks & personality. also mad dense cause I have trouble listenin’ to people & rely on trial & error! If you managed to reach the end thank youuu,, also I love yer blog & make sure to rest & not push yerself!!!

(Part 5 was the previously posted doodles that included dark!Dia, posted separately in order to keep the asker anonymous)

I match you with: MAMMON

Personality wise, you’re much like Leviathan, and it would have been terribly easy to spin you a story about how he relates to you, wants to keep you to himself, and how your social anxiety and inability to fit in with others would make you an easy target. But the world is so much more complicated than that.

Sure, Leviathan wants you. You’d make a perfect companion, all cozied away with him, but it’s Mammon who snatches you up. He sees what he could have been in you, if he was weak, and frail. It’s the way you fight unwinnable battles, and challenge those you’ve no business standing up to. Mammon finds it... charming, almost, in a way that he’s excited to break. With such an attitude, you’d quickly find yourself in trouble in the Devildom, and that’s how he gets you. A well placed bribe to save your ass from certain death early on in your exchange year, and he’s bought you, whether you know it or not.

Get prepared to be towed on the arm of the biggest crime lord in Hell, all oily smiles and designer clothes-- he’ll keep you well dressed, if nothing else. But that mouth of yours? Talking back to him just won’t do. I recommend shutting it before he sews it shut for you. You’re there to give him credibility, not to argue. You’re so small compared to him, he might just destroy you without his powers if you fight him, just to see if he’s still got it.

It could be a worse life. Oh, my bad, allow me to rephrase. It will be a worse life, if you don’t straighten up your act for The Great Mammon.

“There. Ya look nice. Now if you fuck this meeting up for me, you’re not gonna have any teeth, got it?”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me matchups #matchups #house of lamentation #obey me yandere #obey me dark au

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raquellmurillo · 4 years

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After the heist I want Raquel to pack her bag and get some money as Lisbon and leave Sergio ...She should stay with her family in some paradise.Monica will also join her ... They both should focus on raising their children and casual dating with guys..And sometimes Rio , Helsinki uncle will visit them .

That’s actually such a cool idea! I love Sergio and Raquel, don’t get me wrong, but above all, I love consistency lol

Why not? What if Raquel tells him that after her talk with Alicia, she has realised that because of her love for him, she has neglected her daughter and ruined her future. Because lets face it, if Raquel is on the run, her daughter is too.

And, I know the show never really mentions this... but Sergio is like... a criminal. I know he’s meant to be the ‘good guy’ and all, but he also goes around hiring, what, the Serbian mafia? (Who are those people???) Has a lot of money, buys a shit ton of stuff on the dark web... If the police can’t track him, the mafia’s running that shit-show can. His wealth isn’t built on an empire of people to protect him.... what is one kid with a billions of euros with no protection, living as an outcast to a criminal organisation looking for easy money? Doesn’t that just sound like a target??? It’s easier to take one person down, than a well built up ‘empire’ of people lmao - okay, if he hid away etc. but not go around making purchases like them army trucks... because as soon as he starts his heist, the people who he purchases those things from are gonna tie the two ends together... If Alicia can track him, what is finding him to an organisation with more hackers than he has???

Back to the point, Raquel isn’t the ‘weakest link’, both her and her daughter are ‘weak points’. If Sergio ever pisses off any of the probs very dangerous people he is working with... the main targets are gonna be the people closest to him. Back in the day when he was a petty and poor criminal, well, didn’t really matter. Now, however, things have changed.

Raquel has given her life up to be on the run not only from the police, but like, a large proportion of the criminal world. She is never going to be safe, nor is her daughter. By association she has condemned her family to, well, to some probably not fun situations in the future.

But like.... ignoring all of that.

I totally get you; love is love, I do ship them, but who said their love story had to be conventional; say she came to visit him at the end of s2, told him that she would meet up with him here and there, she would come to live with him, but in 10 years time or so, when her daughter is grown up enough to take care of herself and her decisions won’t impact her. That money might’ve bought Sergio freedom, but the moment Raquel leaves her life for it, its gonna cause her problems, ones which money won’t be able to fix. She’ll never be able to let her daughter go to school without fearing that she might say something, be recognised. She’ll never be able to have the freedom Raquel had when she was young. Her childhood might be carefree playing on the beach, but purely through association she’ll always be on the run from the police, interpol, the other criminals out there who feel like getting a few billions for, basically free, having to take down a person, not an empire. I get financial security, like totally. But its not exactly too great if the price you’re paying for it is your personal security.

And look how much more fun s3&4 would’ve been if Raquel was still part of the police... darn that would’ve been so amazing her in terms of character development, as she’d really have to decide whose side she was on. (obvs with a different plot) - acting as a double agent type thing, to alongside Sergio, make sure no one was hurt etc.

... she is safer not being with Sergio. If Sergio truly loved her, he wouldn’t be with her. I know, I know, that’s so controversial of me to say, but I’ve seen it been done in masterpiece style on screen. I had never seen a better ship been written even though I didn’t get a single kiss! Both of the characters acknowledged they loved each other but were in an environment in which them being together would end in defo at least one of their deaths. Their love for each other was greater than any sort of sexual desire; keeping one another safe was a priority, even if it required sacrificing (very unfortunately for the audience) the desire part. It can be done.

Love can be either selfish or selfless; I think, from the way things have been written, Sergio is more Andres’ brother than one could’ve imagined. He loves her, but not enough to resist his temptation, to ruin her, destroy her life, risk her life and her families. It sounds hella dark, but when you think about it, it sorta is. Because it is wrapped up neatly and nicely and Sergio is all cute... because she loves him and goes after him, blindly. Because however much Alicia’s dialogue about Raquel’s taste of men was written to obvs make the audience disagree with her about Sergio’s case..... darn nobody is perfect, but come on. Denver lost his father in the last heist, Sergio’s brother was shot (ik he was dying, doesn’t that make it worse for Sergio tho? The last months with his brother in paradise, lost?) but there’s one hella completely different reaction. And then we have the scene in which Raquel tells him he is just trying to avenge Berlin; does vengeance have a higher value than love? Is the whole Berlin thing not enough for him to be like, “actually, putting people that I love at life threatening risk, really isn’t a great idea”...??? Rio will eventually be arrested, and tough luck, ya know. Why put the rest of his team’s life at risk? idkkkkk His true love for Raquel will be shown in lcdp7 when he plans a heist to avenge her? WHy for the love of god is she in the bank?

Damn right, Raquel should pack her bags up and finally find a man who is not so willing to harm her. No one said love or the character had to be perfect; I’m a true believer that love requires sacrifices, and Raquel has sacrificed a lot for him... you’d think he’d have the decency to at least not go ahead with the heist ya know. Sergio might be a bit socially awkward, but he’s not fucking dumb. I hate how people seem to think that because he hasn’t had much experience in relationships, he won’t know what he is doing... firstly, when does anyone have any sort of idea of what they’re doing in a new relationship with a new person? It’s all new, and it’s always a learning process ya know. Secondly, Sergio has enough brain cells to lecture Andres about getting married to someone knowing he has very little time... he knows enough to acknowledge that what his brother is doing, isn’t exactly too fair on his wife - which is fair enough; ya know, ‘best three years of her life’ and then she drinks herself to death from the heartache in the year following that? Very hard situation, tbh. Andres is being fucking selfish, but darn, turns out there is something in these genetics...

disclaimer: I still love Serquel, but damn I love my analysis, (I am being very picky today lmao) and if they keep this writing up, they’re gonna keep pushing me to make such unconventional findings. Never before today did I think I’d come to a conclusion that Andres and Sergio are similar in terms of ‘love’... but darn, under the cute dialogues and all the rather radical decisions of the screenwriters point towards very dark threads.

Saying that, if you’re gonna write something like that, have the balls to actually explore it. Don’t make Raquel the ‘love interest’; consequently follow the choices through and make Sergio the nut job who put her back into the bank. Maybe even write it as him idealising the idea of his love for her... maybe the trap in their relationship is as Alicia said, Raquel idealising these guys, but Sergio also idealising her.

#darn this took too long to write #someone take away my wineee lmao #someone tell me they get what im trying to say #the tea #asks #sorry anon if i dissapoint

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