#tbh i've been hoarding this for... way too long

[egophiliac]

Hello!! I'm in love with your artstyle (especially the way you did the signature spells??? I've been looking at them for a while adsgfdfsf, they look like movie posters tbh and that's fricking cool to me. anyway!! I'm a player on the NA server (btw, I've already seen spoilers of chap 7 due to tumblr/reddit/pinterest, so yeah it's not the most spoiled I've ever been so yea) and yeah. I'm getting through the story okay but do you have any advice for people trying to get through certain events with a more limited life schedule??? Also, what are some of the differences that you notice between the english (if you see a lot of it??) and Japanese versions of the game? sorry if this was a longer ask, i tried to be simple but i wanted to tell you that I loved your art and everything just spiraled AAAAAAH

thank you! ❤️❤️❤️ I've been surprised by how many people really like my posters -- it's kind of a weird style to do fanart in, I guess, but I'm glad other people think it's cool too! :D

(gonna answer out of order because the event stuff turned into a huge block of text, sorry!)

I've seen a few of the localizations, but I don't know a lot about the Eng version, so I can't speak too much about differences. (I do think "housewarden" has a better sound to it than "dorm leader" though...they need a fancy little word to match their fancy little outfits.) I did look up the unique magic/signature spells to see if they were able to somehow work in the glossing -- I'm not even sure how you would localize that without it being super weird, so I don't blame them, but I was a little sad anyway! :( in Japanese, they're all written as Japanese phrases with the English as ruby text, and sometimes they're given a little extra meaning. like -- this is where the episode 7 spoilers I'm tagging are) the words that Mal says are "Fae of Maleficence":

but the meaning of the Japanese is "Blessing", which is a nice little "ooooh" moment given the context of it!

there isn't always an extra meaning, sometimes it's just. super literal. but my other favorite is Jack's, where what he means is "✨howl that pierces the moonlit night✨", but what he actually yells is "UNLEASH BEAST" before turning into a giant dog. what a good boy.

as for event advice (under the cut, because this was already getting long)...

speaking as someone who is 100% F2P and therefore also tends to get kind of burnt by some of these events -- the #1 most important thing is to just...make peace with not getting everyone. :') I am a collector-type person, so it definitely gets grating when I can't have all the fancy PNGs my little packrat heart desires. generally though: never do random pulls, always be saving your keys and gems between events. (once a month you can buy a 10-set from Sam for a 50 gem discount, and logging in on a character's birthday will give you a 10-set for free, so make sure to do those!). when the event info starts coming out, pick one or two cards that you really want and work specifically towards those, focusing on grinding out the items and/or using your saved-up pulls on their specific banner. and in the end, accept that it might just not be meant to be, even if you hit the 100-pull pity SSR no I'm not still bitter over fairy gala Ortho why do you ask. if the event doesn't have any cards that you really want, take it as an opportunity to save for the next one!

hoard your star fragments (the things that restore AP) -- if you're going for a card that requires grinding event items to permanently unlock, and the item is one you get from lessons, you can use star fragments to bump your AP up to 30 at a time (10 is the limit that will restore over time, but 30 is the max you can have at once). that makes for a looong lesson loop, but I usually get about 50-60 items per 30 lessons, and I just let it run in the background while doing other stuff. (usually these items are what also unlock the event story, so I'll do a huge amount of lessons first thing and then have enough to get the whole story at once. 👍) it can get really grindy, but events go on for a while so it's not usually that bad if you space it out a bit, instead of waiting until the last minute to try and get those last 600 items (cough) (cough).

if it's one of the ones where you get the item from doing a rhythmic, you get the same amount of items no matter how well you do, even if you miss every note. so you can just...tap occasionally to restart it and get the same effect. if it's a battle one, you do have to actually win to get the item, but once you figure out the sweet spot of a team setup + highest battle level where you win every time, it becomes basically the same deal.

so...yeah, tl;dr you can get away with a lot just by setting things up to run in the background and paying just enough attention to tap through some of the menus. it does require a certain amount of time to just leave your phone while still sorta-kinda paying attention to it, so it might not work for everyone, but that's the best way I've found to get through most events!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #i feel like i just emerged from juice hell from getting my sunset lilia #and yet here i am diving right into tuna hell for my grim #it's okay i wasn't using these ap on anything else anyway #i have gotten SUPER lucky on some of these events #like i think the only halloween card i'm missing is ace #which is nuts considering how many of those are ssrs #but then i didn't manage to get a single one of the birthday diasomnias past the first year :( #we're not going to talk about the dorm dias. we just aren't. #the gacha giveth and it taketh away

[lmelodie]

I've been hoarding this one for a VERY LONG TIME to eventually do a decent ass drawing of Santa and Jack with, but my skillset isn't quite there and I fear if I do not see this realized one day, I will explode:

the jack and santa vibes here are IMMACULATE and i have been thinking about this for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS, Jack absolutely about to ANNIHILATE santa with a BIG OL SNOWBALL lmao.

(one day i wanna draw it too and do a bonus with jacqueline, even HIGHER than jack, tossing an even BIGGER snowball at him. the CHAOS. it brings me joy. sorry for these ramble messages it is late and i am tired and excited which is quite the uh. the uh. combo tbh)

HERE COMES JACK FROST FROM THE TOP ROPE! WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!

I never EVER draw the actual main character of this franchise, he's just not that interesting to me (sorry very not sorry). But! I think that, when necessary, I can bullshit my way through a decent enough Scott Calvin. Generic white man activate.

#digital art #artists on tumblr #asks #shitpost #the santa clause #the santa clause 3 #jack frost #Someday i hope to be blessed with your doodle of the three layered version

[dameronology]

you and me [joel miller] - 1/2

"now i've had time to think it over, we're much older and the bone's too big to bury" - jaded, miley cyrus. a.k.a the one where you and joel see each other again and don't know what the fuck to do

warnings: angst, swearing, break-ups, swearing again because my god there is a lot, mentions of alcohol, mentions of death, no tlou 2 spoilers but probably some spoilers from the show. ok i think that's it.

this is my first full length joel fic and tbh i'm not even sure i've got the hang of his character lol. also, it's been about four years since i played the game and i'm writing this from memory of that and the show so pls forgive any inaccuracies. hope you enjoy. xx

jazz

p.s there will deffo be a part 2 to this lol dw

2 0 1 8

Life outside the Quarantine Zone was different.

It was both better and worst; better because there was no military breathing down your back, but worst because the Infected roamed free. It made Joel more tense - even when he kept you firmly behind him, rifle ready to go and finger itching on the trigger - to know that they could be anywhere. Sure, the military sucked but the biggest threat now was the Infected, and you'd come to learn a long time ago that there was no point arguing with his overprotectiveness. It was warranted, after everything he'd been through, so you operated under three rules: he went first, you went second, and if anyone was going to die first, it was going to be him. That last part was the one you loathed the most but he wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

Still, there were moments outside the QZ where he could let his guard down. When you were far enough away from civilisation, and far enough away from any hoards, he would let himself exist beside you, peacefully and at rest. Those nights camping - sometimes on the way to Bill and Frank's, or on a smuggling run - were his favourite. Sometimes it was beneath the stars, or beneath a tangle of trees. It was a tiny insight into what things could have been like in another life, without outbreaks and infected and constantly being on the move. They were moments he craved but so often, you found yourself hating them. Mostly because you knew they would eventually come to an end, but also because it was proof that you could exist out of the QZ. You'd felt like the place had been suffocating you for months. For you, it felt like a death sentence. Joel didn't love them either but he liked that you were both safe there. He could easily find you amongst the walls and you only ever left together. The thing that he thought was keeping you together was actually, in your mind, the thing that was driving you apart.

You'd pose the idea to him (for the tenth time) on a cold night, about four miles outside of the Boston QZ. The two of you had set up camp in the thickness of a forest; your tent was older than your respective ages combined and the fire was dwindling, but you were both content. Joel was leant against a tree, an arm wrapped around you and keeping you firmly to his side, free hand ready on his gun.

"I don't think I want to go back."

Joel peered down at you, quirking an eyebrow. "The hell are you talking about?"

"To the QZ," you said. "I don't want to go back to the QZ."

"This again?" he sighed - but you couldn't ignore the way his grip on you grew tighter. Tenser. "We've spoken about this a thousand times. The QZ is safe. It's...it's our home."

"Just because our stuff is that doesn't mean it's home," you murmured. "After this run, we could just take our stuff and go. We know the way out, we know how to run at this point, don't we?"

"It's dangerous out here," Joel reminded you. "We know how to be out here for limited periods of time. Those routes, those safe spaces and uninfected areas will run out eventually. So will our resources."

You sighed, sniffing. "Yeah. You're right. It's a silly idea."

"Hey...look, baby, don't get all mopey on me now," he shuffled slightly to the side, gently placing his hand on your cheek. "The main thing is that we have each other, wherever that may be. We've just gotta stick to the QZ for now but I promise, I'll get us out eventually. Just hang in there."

"Of course," you gave him a smile.

"It's you and me," he quietly added. "That's what matters."

"You and me," you'd replied. "I promise."

Still, Joel couldn't deny that he'd seen the light in you withering - the light that seemed to come back every time you were outside of the QZ. He knew you were stubborn; that once you had an idea in your head, that was it.

That's why he wasn't surprised to find you gone two weeks later.

2 0 2 3

Joel, my love,

I'm sorry. I'm never going to stop being sorry, but I tried to tell you a thousand times and you never listened.

I couldn't live that way any longer. I wanted to leave the QZ the day I got there, but then I met you, and I stayed longer than I ever imagined. You made it bearable - more than that. I just couldn't carry on anymore, especially knowing that the outside world may not be all that bad. It would be even better with you, but I can't force you to do something so drastic when you don't want to. That's not fair on you, but forcing myself to stay wouldn't be fair on me. Putting myself first feels like the worst thing in the world right now, but I have to do this. For me. I hope you can understand. I love you and I don't think I'll ever stop. I hope we cross paths again one day. It's you and me, always.

Joel Miller carried two things with, always. Three things, actually; his rifle, the letter you wrote him, and the grief that you'd left in your wake. It wasn't your fault - and Joel didn't blame you, not one bit - but he couldn't help but feel like it was his. You'd told him you'd been struggling and as he often did with his own emotions, he'd forced you to swallow it down. He thought that would have kept you together but unsurprisingly, it had driven you away.

Life, as it always had, went on. People came and went - though you never came back - and before long, Joel found himself trekking through Wyoming for the second time. Ellie had consumed all his priorities at that point. She had healed more than one of his wounds, but the night she'd found that letter in his bag and began asking questions had re-awoken Joel's yearning for you.

"Joel Miller, a relationship man? I never would have thought," she'd joked. And she hadn't really stopped asking questions since. She'd wanted to know how you met, how you fell in love, and most of all, why you'd left. Though, it didn't take a genius to guess.

The first time Joel had been in Jackson, he hadn't actually spent much time in Jackson. He'd been in the workshop, then in the bar with Tommy, and then he'd left with Ellie not long after. Now that he was there for the foreseeable future, he found himself wandering one morning. Ellie was still dead to the world, and he'd taken it as an opportunity to see what the fuss was actually all about.

Joel had never believed in ghost towns; maybe that was what this place had been for a while, but most of his ghosts resided back in Texas and Boston. Not Jackson. He had no history here; no one except from Tommy knew he was. Maybe he liked it that way. Maybe that was his chance for a fresh start, for him, and for Ellie...and for you, apparently.

He felt like he had seen a ghost the first time he saw you again. Coming in from patrol with Tommy and Maria, you were leading a horse at the front of the pack. You didn't look any older - if anything, the freedom and comfort that Jackson had brought you had de-aged you slightly. You were radiant; beautiful and shining and with the spark that Joel had always feared he'd strangled out of you by forcing you to stay in the QZ.

He hadn't meant to call out your name. It just sort of happened. It had been a whisper at first, actually, growing into a shout as he crossed the town square and towards the gates. You'd recognised his voice straight away but you hadn't actually believed it to be him. It wasn't until you saw him coming towards you that you realised. It hit you like a truck; actually Joel hit you like a truck, because he hadn't really thought about hugging you, and you in too much disbelief to hug him, so you sort of just fell to the ground in a pile-of-you-and-Joel-and-snow.

"What the fuck, Joel?!" your words had been muffled, on account for the mouthful of snow you had. "What the...what are you doing here?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"You didn't answer my question," you shot back. Joel stood up, sticking out his hand to help you up. You were happy to see him - and he was happy to see you - but before the happiness, there was the other a thousand complex emotions that had risen in your time apart. "How on Earth did you get here from Boston?"

"Couldn't I be asking you all the same things?!" he'd demanded. He sighed, then, and faltered for a moment. "Shit. I can't believe it's you."

Joel took a deep breath, anger fading; he finally held his arms open to you, taking you into a warm, desperate hug for the first time in five years. Your bodies practically thudded together, arms tangled into one as you clung onto him. You didn't regret leaving - not one bit, now that you were here, not that you were free - but god, there had been days where you would have traded all of that freedom for one more day with Joel. There were no radios here, so you'd hadn't a clue if he was even still alive.

It had been worst for him, because he did have a radio. And he spent days waiting by it, hearing story after story about people being found dead, or new Infected being found by the walls of QZ. They had matched your description on more than one occasion, and after a while, he'd just assumed the worst.

Tommy cleared his throat. "I won't ask, but if you need a moment, the bar is empty."

You glanced at Joel. "Yeah. Thanks Tommy."

Trudging to the bar, with Joel in tow, you walked in silence. It wasn't that you didn't have anything to say, it was just that you didn't know where to start. You'd gone over this scenario a thousand times in your head but now that it had actually happened, you were speechless.

The bar was, as promised, completely dead. You stepped inside and locked the door behind you, heading straight to the whiskey shelf. A double Glen Morangie for you, and a double of the cheapest stuff for Joel. That had always been his favourite.

You took a seat opposite him, sliding the drink to him.

Joel's dark eyes flickered to the drink and then back up to you. "You remembered?"

"I didn't forget a single thing," you shot back. "I promise."

"It's funny - and forgive me if I sound shitty for saying this, but I hope you can understand my position right now - but your promises...I can't say they mean much," he murmured.

You faltered slightly, heart dropping in your chest. "I don't blame for you being angry at me, Joel. I left you and obviously that hurt but can't you see it from my perspective? I was drowning. You could see that I was fucking drowning and you just...you ignored me. You brushed it aside because of what you wanted-"

"- I wanted you," he cut you off. Joel downed his drink in one gulp, slamming the glass back on the table. "All I fucking wanted was you."

"You wanted me in the QZ," you reminded him. "I told you I couldn't stay. A thousand times, Joel, and you ignored me on every single occasion."

"And leaving was the solution?"

"Yeah," you said firmly. "Yeah, it was. I wondered for a while, maybe two years or so, and then I joined a bunch of other stragglers and we ended up here."

"And Jackson isn't suffocating?"

"When I can come and go as I please? When we have running water, electricity, houses and infrastructure?" you couldn't help but let out a derivative laugh. "For what it's worth, I've missed you."

Joel's angry guard quickly came down with your admission. He reached a hand out across the table, brushing a thumb over your palm.

"I've missed you too," he murmured. "The people on the radio...they always spoke about finding bodies and Infected, ones that matched your description. I assumed after a while you were dead."

"I'm sorry," you softly said. "I wish you knew how many times I thought about turning back. Even recently, I thought about it, but I was scared I was gonna come back and find you dead, or even worst that I would find you alive and that you wouldn't want to know-"

"- you think that me rejecting you is worst than me dying?" Joel raised an eyebrow, trying to fight back a smile. "You're always so fuckin' dramatic."

You smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"It hurt, y'know," he went quieter again, voice dropping to a whisper. "You leaving...I knew you spoke about it but I didn't think you'd do it. Not without me, at least. Not when I promised to try and get us out-"

"- you hurt me too, Joel," you admitted. "It was all well and good to say one day, I promise but when is one day? Every time I tried to tell you how I was feeling, you shut me down. You shut me out and then you shut me down."

"So you're sayin' I drove you away?"

You paused for a moment; you could have denied it, you could have said it was all your own doing and that Joel's purposeful ignorance to your suffering wasn't relevant. He wouldn't have believed you. There was no point in denying what he already knew was true.

"Yeah," you shrugged. "You did. And I'm sorry about it, okay? I'm sorry that I left, but I didn't do it because I stopped loving you, or because I wanted to get away from you. I had to get away from everything and there hasn't been a single fucking day since I left that I haven't thought about you, or missed you, or wished that you'd come with me..."

You stopped then, barely able to swallow the lump in your throat or ignore the tears that had formed in your eyes. Joel was feeling a too - maybe just not as visibly - but he so desperately wanted to take his words back.

"I don't know what I'm meant to do now," you continued. "Now that you're here...I don't know how long for-"

"- for the foreseeable future," he said. "I have a kid with me. She's not my kid, but she is my kid and....she's the best thing that happened to me since you. Don't tell her I said that."

You smiled slightly. "The foreseeable future, huh?"

"Yeah. This seems like the best place to be, compared to the rest of fuckin' country," Joel replied. "Especially if you're here."

"Right," you nodded, smile not faltering. "I'm glad you're here. Despite everything."

He raised an eyebrow. "Despite everything?"

"You gotta understand, Joel, I'm over the fucking moon to see you. To know that you're alive, and well, and that..." you paused, trailing off.

One thing you hadn't expected to feel when you saw him again was hesitance. Anger, and resentment, and fucking hesitance. It was something you hadn't realised you were harbouring, but knowing that the man you loved had purposefully ignored the way you felt - even five years ago - hurt. You just hadn't realised how much til now, and seeing him had wrenched all those unhealed wounds right up, tearing them from the back of your brain and making them fresh all over again. Especially when he'd had the audacity to be angry at you - maybe rightfully so - but then not understanding why you might be angry at him.

There was an elephant in the room: what happened now? Did you get back together? Forget about everything that had happened, so that you could be happy again?

No. That ship had sailed. It had sailed, and then it had hit an iceberg and sank, and it had whatever versions of you and Joel that had existed then down with it.

You grabbed your drink, downing the whiskey in one gulp in the same way Joel had just moments earlier. "I'll see you around Joel."

#joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller imagines #joel miller angst #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel miller x y/n #joe miller imagines #joel miller #tlou x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou angst

[nblatinotails]

Been thinking,, Tails is probably small

Like, we don't know exactly what happened on Westside, but a lone 4 year old probably isn't a stranger to some form of food scarcity, no matter how smart he is. We also have no clue how long he was on his own before he met sonic and had a somewhat consistent eating schedule,,, no reference of when mobians typically begin eating solids or any developmental milestones. A few consistent fan hc are that he was just completely alone (neglect, parental death, abandonment, etc.), or that he ran from mistreatment (orphanage, family, etc.). In multiple cannons he's implied to live in the forest or be completely alone, independent of a village. That wouldn't be so strange as it seems a lot of kids hit it out on their own, but again, he's usually 4 ish when they meet, and from the way he acts, he's been alone for a while. The toddler years are very important developmentally, and kids who go hungry at this point tend to lag behind their peers for the rest of their lives. It messes with physical development like height and weight regulation, can contribute to cronic illnesses and blood pressure, and often effects behavior and anxiety levels.

Even after he meets sonic and gets taken under his wing, we don't know how stable of a diet these two crime fighting street kids could maintain. I remember a wonderful post breaking down the portrayal of food instability in AoStH, while I can't seem to find it, I remember they mentioned tails specifically showing a lot of signs of food hoarding and over eating, and the OPs own experience with these traits as a result of childhood hunger.

..Y'know, sonics probably in the same boat,, they both probably have to eat more than the average person because of the amount of calories they burn running,,, and while we don't know exactly what sonic delt with in game cannon, I know theres a few different examples in comic and show cannons. Unfortunately I never read any comics and I've only really watched 1/2 of AoStH so that's where my sonic knowledge ends, but I'm sure it varies.

There's also the issue that we have no clue how tall they're supposed to be,,, at their current age AND when they grow up. Like, shadow, amy, and sonic all seem to be around the same height rn (~100 cm / ~3 ft 3 in, Amy's a little shorter at 90 cm / 2 ft 11 in, but she's also a few years younger), so maybe sonic is on the right track, but do we know if they're supposed to get taller? Like adults in the sonic universe are wildly inconsistent from cannon to cannon??? Like, Vanilla is ~25 (age varies sometimes) and is approximately 130 cm (4 ft 3 in) while Vector is 20 yo and 180 cm (5 ft 11 in), and Big is 18 yo and 200 cm (6 ft 6 in). In Sonic Underground, Queen Aleena, his mother, was ~50 yo and ranges from source to source, but apparently is around 130-145 cm (4 ft 3in - 4 ft 9 in) while comic heights for other adults or parents are harder to track, but seem like they tap out around where the kids are now. So is height relative to species? Maybe?? Big is bigger than vector, and yeah, his name is big, that's kinda implied, but is he just an outlier or is that normal?? storm the albatross is 19 and just a little taller than vanilla at 140 cm (4 ft 7 in) but albatross' are fuckin massive compared to rabbits and cats so maybe species does play a part in height?? But also charmy and cream are the exact same age and height at 6 yo and 70 cm (2 ft 3in) ?? OK, wild, cool, whatever it's bringing logic into a fun world of brightly-colored cartoons and that's not always applicable, but I still think these mfs should be short.

I think tails should realistically be a behind in height, and prolly will stay that way, I think sonic should be shorter too tbh. With the early childhood hunger and intense world ending stress they have now, these kids should not be growing rip them

So hc that both sonic and tails are shorter than they should be, but Tails is, like, borderline concerningly small because of his EXTENSIVE history of stress, abuse, and hunger, AND as a result of that that he's kinda skittish and gets sick more often than kids his age should prolly

#miles tails prower #sonic #hes just a little guy #sonic the hedgehog #my mad ramblings

[jewishbarbies]

Hi! So I just recently found your blog and I think it really helped me with the validation I needed by this new light I looked at Taylor.

So long story short I've been a swiftie for a long time now and trust me I WAS A BIG FAN like a total HARDCORE swiftie. But apparently I started to question stuff about the girl I put on a high pedestal for years after midnights was released and I'm not gonna lie that I totally like Would've, could've, should've but then I was like, miss girl wasn't that was approximately FOURTEEN YEARS AGO? Then I realized this pattern of her that she just can't seem to move on from the past like ever and the songs on midnights kinda solidified that and I think it's also because I really expected the sleepless nights of her to be yk not about her PAST relationships but it was 🫤

Then this M*atty Healy thing happened and I went down to a rabbit hole of why people may or may not like her music but don't like her and it just CLICKED. And tbh I kinda felt betrayed because of how deep I was in the whole parasocial relationship thing that apparently she encouraged and perhaps for the sake of sales and not for the sake that she probably really appreciates us Swifties. Like at that moment I just started to question EVERYTHING then I realized that this image of Taylor that I know is just a brand. That's it. I don't know her and I bought this image of her and somewhat became a part of her mob mentality. It's really devastating because I really thought she was being her authentic self in front of us but turns out it's probably all a show for the capitalist mindset of her and her team.

And it's such a shame because I still like her music but I am learning to separate it from the Taylor Swift TM but it's lowkey is pretty hard. Also such a shame in her part because I feel like if she was some underground singer that just focused on making music and didn't care about being number one on the charts or the sales or her public image - she wouldn't be the way she is now and wouldn't have half of the problems she has and had in her life (e.g. Kanye, some of her squad friends turning into enemies, her codependency (she seriously can't stay single and that screams codependency and not being able to be alone with yourself), constant seeking of validation and many more) and I feel like she would've been more humbler.

Another thing is that I don't blame swifties for the way that they are, I mean she cultivated it herself like if she had called out their disrespectful behaviors, they wouldn't be harassing people. Another is that if she had been more accountable for her actions, her fans would be too. The way she controlled the narrative during 2016 affected the entire fandom the way it is now. Such a shame that if people have a shit ton of money it's either that they give it away and yk not hoard it or let it go through their heads I mean despite the way she is now, I can't lie that though her rich ass parents jump started her career, all she wanted to do was just play songs but when she got super famous and earned a shit ton of money, that's where it all went down. It's like her fame emotionally stunted her. I seriously think she needs a therapist other than her mother because she literally sang a line about her mother always being on her side despite her being the wrong one. Andrea swift may have made her a nice child that said her thanks and showed appreciation but teaching her to take responsibility for her actions and take accountability for her wrong doings, she kinda slacked there perhaps.

That was when I realized that being famous and achieving the same level of influence as her... isn't always a glitz and glamour or cool enough for me to be jealous now (sure I would be about 'forever is the sweetest con' line (her writing) and her loving parents but still' like imagine spending the rest of you life just calculating every move that will contribute good in your image? And thinking about how to earn a million more dollars from your personal life and antagonize some people in it through your songs? Losing that one guy that really showed you what a healthy and loving relationship is because you wanted to continue your career built upon lies and deceit and capitalism? I'd rather continue being an invisible middle class.

Okay the scariest part of it all is how all the people she antagonizes don't have a say without being called sexist, misogynistic or a hater. But the most TERRIFYING part is how her legacy as this 'best' singer-songwriter of the 21sr century will live on without her entire fanbase seeing her in this light that I did. It's like brainwashing.

Everything I'm feeling right now is like Colors by Halsey as it's about a song of falling out of love with a person after the colors that you once loved about come out of them after they changed a lot negatively. Funny cause that song was about M*tty Healy.

Thanks for reading!

omg I was reading the last paragraph and I was like “lmao that song was about matty” and then you said it in the next sentence 💀

glad you’re free of it all bestie! it gets better, I promise.

#Asks #anonymoose #anti taylor swift #swifties dni #long post

[ivymarquis]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

Weeeeee lets gooooo (links going to my ao3). Also this has been sitting here since may lmao my bad I am incredibly slow. This might be too many examples but OH WELLLLLLLL~

Late Bloomer is one of my faves that I've written. More or less all of my kinks eventually lead back to the Rome that is breeding kink with me, and this one basically incorporates all of those. I'm a sucker for some good a/b/o, breeding, etc.,

Happy isn't really one of my better known fics (that I'm aware of, anyway), and if I was the type of person who was able to consistently work on long fics I could have made a good one with this concept but like..... lowkey the overarching summary vibe kinda works for me

All Good Things Same thing- not one of my more popular fics, but I love this one. It explores the dynamics of the cult vs hope county locals a bit, is soft with Jacob and Shiloh hedging around each other. I know most people are for the raunchy porn and I gladly deliver but sometimes I want my soft shit

Better Late Than Never Same as above, but Jacob deserves a nap and the family he always wanted. This man absolutely had aspirations of breaking the cycle and the way he continues to perpetuate it via the trials is something that I just cannot shake.

Quality Over Quantity This one was just unfettered filth. My thought process was "Jacob would probably have some weird breeding shit going on with the Chosen right???? He treats people like cattle there's no way this is where he draws the line." Low key could gone either way because I don't actually recall any female chosen in game so like..... either few female chosen being hunted by a gaggle of dudes or like....a hoard of women hand picked and sequestered away solely for- ANYWAY I'M A GODLESS WHORE

What You Want** This is a lesson in why I don't write multi-parters other than one shots and the occasional sequel (See: Late Bloomer). It took 3 (!!!!) years to write this shit lmfao Scratches the same itches as Late Bloomer but also has Jacob-esque mind fuckery directed @ the Deputy CC coded tbh, and just all around a darker vibe which I love.

Apex Predator** Re-reading back on the first chapter, I did a way better job on this than I felt when I initially published it. I still wanna work on this but alas 1) COD brainrot has me in a chokehold right now 2) Please refer back to how it took me 3 years to write a 3 part fic, and this is gonna be a big ol multichapter piece. Imma be working on this shit when they drop FC 10 LMAO. But God just all the ideas I've got for Jacob and CC? They're gonna drive each other insane.

** What You Want and Apex Predator are dark fics for those of you not already familiar with them, click with caution and read the fing tags lol

I like how there is one overwatch fic and I'm not even really that big of a Genji girl myself and then the rest of this is just my deranged obsession with a 40-something cannible.

#far cry 5 #overwatch #genji x reader #jacob seed x deputy #dark!fic #thank you for letting me ramble <3 #ivy answers #my writing

[dynmghts]

💌 (shamelessly)

🐝  *  ― send 💌 or ( `LOVE LETTER` ) for me to write one thing i like about your blog, one thing i like about your character or your portrayal, and one thing i like about you in general. doesn't have to be anything long, just a little something to make someone's day a little brighter. if you want, include the url of someone else if you want me to write them some compliments.

i've been hoarding this buried under all of my other asks but guess what reina. i'm getting to it now. tonight i boost ur confidence (at least, hopefully, a little bit) in how AMAZING your writing is!

what i like about your blog: honestly, i have absolutely adored your pastel aesthetic for shoto since you moved him onto his own blog. i don't know what it is about it specifically, to be honest, but when i see any art of shoto in the more pastel tones, the first shoto that comes to mind is yours - it's such a strong association for me tbh, but i absolutely adore it! and let's be real, shoto looks really really good in pastel colours.

on top of that, i adore your simpler formatting when it comes to your writing; you emphasise a lot of words, but you don't add a lot of flair to it (e.g. extra spacing, excessive changes in font size, unique characters beyond quotation marks), which i think is a wonderful way to be. i've been constantly evolving my formatting to be a loooooot more readable and minimally formatted as a result of writers like you, because! well, i sit there and adore your writing all the same, and i'm captured by every sentence you write even without the tumblr dot com flair. i think it's a perfect way to be in a place where formatting + graphics mean everything!

what i like about your character(s): PLEASE. I ADORE YOUR SHOTO SO MUCH. you capture his very blunt and straightforward persona amazingly, in which his manifests differently to katsuki's where shoto is infinitely calmer in his approach. i also love how literal he can be sometimes! and just!! even his stubbornness!!! it can be really difficult to balance so many characteristics - which is a certain sign that the original author has a talent for three-dimensional characters, thanks horikoshi - but i always thought that you managed it perfectly. when i see your shoto and the way you transcribe him, i think, yeah, this is shoto. this is the same boy i read in the manga.

not only that, but i recognise him as YOUR shoto - you've developed him in a way that makes him unique to your interpretation, and i love that soooo so much.

what i like about you in general: reina. reina you have to understand that i think you are such a wonderful and cheerful person to talk to! and i MEAN that. i know that we don't talk often in dms, but i loooove to talk with you about our boys and how their dynamic has the potential to grow beyond what they already have in canon. i love that you have such an enthusiasm for your characters, even beyond shoto, and even with life pretty much blindsiding you at every turn (me too bestie), you still manage to maintain such a passion for your characters!

i know that you struggle a LOT with your confidence, and especially in writing, but just know i will always be in your corner telling you that every piece you write is an absolute godsend and a blessing to witness. i treasure EVERY interaction you give me. i am so so glad you have enough confidence to give me what you have, and believe me, i consume your media without fail with the same adoration as i had from the very beginning. thank you for being such an amazing person and a wonderful presence on my dash, no matter how frequent or scarce <3

POSITIVITY TRAIN.

#deibreak #💥 ⸍ ii. answers. #💥 ⸍ i. out.

[steeiydan]

OC-OCTOBER/30 DAY MONSTER BOY CHALLENGE 2023 - DAY 15 - DRAGON BOY

i've had this guy in my head for AGES, but he didn't quite turn out how he looks in my head. also turned out skinnier than i meant to draw him, but i think he did turn out kinda cute... not fully sure about his name either, kinda bit myself in the ass with having all my demi dragons have four letter names with two syllables... also yeah, another rock character after the gargoyle, i've been into that lately?? me when i hit rock bottom. or something.

meet Tema!

Tema/31/Gay

A rock Demi-Dragon! Like most of his subspecies, he's more solitary, and he lives in a cave in a long abandoned quarry. At 11'3" (343cm) he's large, even for a Demi-Dragon! His horns are more rock than... horns, and somewhat geode-y? And the crystals growing from his tail are amethysts. Most rock Dragons have some sort of crystal growing from ther scales, the kind just differs depending on the person.

He grew up all alone after hatching (not too unusual) and just briefly tagged along with other dragons as he grew, so he could learn how to speak properly, and write and read, though he's not that good at it. Tema is usually somewhat gruff, though that's mostly just cause he's super introverted. Somewhat scrappy too, but that's also normal to tbh most people in the Demon Realms. He's actually quite sweet if he's treated in a nice way, and really careful with his sharp, spikey tail and wings.

Demi-Dragons don't mind being naked, the loincloth is mainly so I don't have to draw his cloaca lol But also for comfort and other like... social stuff. He likes to eat and has the Dragon-typical hobby of hoarding things, in his case shiny rocks he can trade for other things with other people.

#vic's art #oc #original character #oc october #30 day monster boy challenge

[amaurotine]

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

NAME : tea

PRONOUNS : he/him

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : ummm, probably the disked hoard. if you can find me in game, i'll give you a cookie.

NAME OF MUSE(S) : hythlodaeus

EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG ( MONTHS / YEARS? ) : i've been RPing basically since i started learning english, so that'll be upward of 15 years on various platforms, and i've been writing hyth since spring of 2022.

BEST EXPERIENCE : a lot of my best experiences were momence of in-game RP in other, older games where i was in a guild and we had huge group/server-wide plots going. that shit was bomb.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : uhhh writing explicit ray cism in a way that strongly emulates irl ant.ibl.ackness, writing inc.est/nonc.on/p.ed.ophilia, etc. and yeah i know some ppl write about it as a coping mechanism but as a survivor, i very respectfully do not want to see any of this shit near me + too many people, survirors or otherwise, often end up glorifying not okay stuff in their writing, even if they aren't aware of it/doing it intentionally and i just don't wanna deal with that mess. there's a different btwn writing and discussing darker themes and then just being weird about it skfdjhfkhf. i also cannot stand peopel being petty or possessive over shipping partners, especially when that shipping partner happens to be me, or, yknow, the casual colourism, tr.ansphobia, and h.omophobia the rpc regularly exhibits toward ppl like me

MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT : i require a balance of all three of these themes. the people i write with the most tend to provide the much-needed balance required to stroke the highly inconsistent furnace that is the process of holding my brain's attention.

PLOTS OR MEMES : both tbh. i really love when memes evolve into plotted threads, but this is sadly very rare.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : both. for me, it's whatever my mood and overall energy and interest levels dictate.

BEST TIME TO WRITE : whenever tf my brain feels like it 🤧

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : yeah somewhat. i'm nowhere near as kind, tolerant (and perhaps as naive) as hyth is, but this is likely courtesy of being born into a far harsher world. i guess i am very... burnt out customer service employee lmao

TAGGED BY : stolen from @thekavseklabs uwu

TAGGING : steal it

#❀ — 𝒹𝒶𝓈𝒽 𝑔𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓈 .

[siffrin-enthusiast]

what are your alters like?

howdy!! this is quite vague, you're welcome to send a follow-up if you like, but for now i'm going to try to answer this how i assume it was intended to be read? is this making sense?

putting a cut because this got kinda long OOPS

there's not really one word to describe them. i don't think there's any label that i could fit all of them under. some of them are the nicest people i've ever met. some of them have zero ability to mask. some of them ghost all of my friends whenever they're out. some of them absolutely despise me. some of them can talk for hours. some of them don't seem to do anything. they're just there. i guess that's the best way to describe it all, really. we're all just...here, doing the best we can with it.

if you were asking about information about some of them, i can give some of that too! i didn't post this earlier because i've been frontstuck as hell and also maybe two alters max will use this blog. but here's a quick run down with a fun fact thrown on!

suns (seven red suns) - protector, he/they/it, has seen the barbie movie and has very strong opinions on pancakes. masks very well

gyrus (room of swords) - adhd symptom holder, he/they, may or may not have a shopping problem of just buying and hoarding merch from his source. also probably one of the oldest alters which is funny because he still doesnt know how to mask

justice (dnd campaign) - gatekeeper, she/he, fun fact they are literally dnd god. i split god. writes so much dnd fanfic. even WORSE at masking

i think those would be the only ones to use this blog tbh?? yeag

#kuiper asks #kuiper system posting

[jovialturtleface]

Rambling about greeting cards

It's hard for me to recognize when I've obtained a new special interest, it's always in hindsight like for the last three years I became really into greeting cards specifically those with fun art styles and cute gimmicks, I justified this interest by giving them away as intended but I cherished the moment I put them into an envelop and sealed it... I did keep some for myself! I have a SpongeBob singing birthday card unfortunately I found out recently that it has stopped working and I don't think there's any way to repair it, hopefully the audio is archived online somewhere. It's a very cute card, although I neglected to grab the envelop with it since it was a last minute grab. I never got to celebrate my birthday much so it's nice...

I also have a Hoops & Yoyo talking card too, hence why I drew that fanart of them when I did. They're very cute characters, simple designs but a lot of charm but tbh it might just be the nostalgia talking I used to love browsing their website they had a lot of those electronic cards' and flash animations. In general I have a fondness for greeting card characters, even the ones who are one-off designs! I really wish the cards had artist credits but alas....

Oh yeah I do have a clown card, it was at a thrift store and I thought why not. Lately I haven't been in a situation where I can freely buy cards so the latest card I've gotten is from a month or two ago, a nice Kuromi shaped card.

I also actually made a few cards myself, nothing too elaborate just me drawing the front and writing a nice message for family and also I got to finally use up some stickers I was hoarding... Oh yeah I also really like to collect stickers hehe maybe I should write about that?

Greeting cards are nice, they're also a little sad I guess like mentioned above the electronic ones won't last forever so you might as well cherish them while you have them or maybe invest in ones with different gimmicks like that one that came with finger puppets. One day maybe I'll take a few pictures of what I have... Probably on my side idk if anyone would want to see much of that here. Ah this was really long but it's not like I get many chances to rave on about cards, even if nobody's reading at least my words will exist for a little bit here.

#Jove says a thing #long post #Sorry tails if that last part sounds sad to the readers #You can also view the last part as some deep profound thought about unsold greeting cards #Do you think there's just a store where they still have extremely old cards ah but I guess they just throw them away #Kind of a different scenario from keeping like an old dvd lying around #Today I used up some Lisa Frank stickers I had to cram them into one page. #also those stickers kind of sucked but I guess that makes it easier to peel them off things #art

[zwei-rhunen]

Squeenix why do u do dis to me D:

Someone tell the lalafells that there's an untapped market to be had! Level 35-48 jewelry is the latest trend!

A once in a lifetime gil-gathering endeaver for your local, aspiring venture capitalist!!!!

.... in other news, I've been prepping myself for jewelery-crafting shenangians, which means clearing out my inventory LOL

But I got too invested and this time I took the time to research alot of the stuff that I've been hanging onto, and it turns out they're really easy to get later if i really wanted them back.

Most of it was either crafting materials (i thought they were turn-in tokens bc they looked special) or they were things that were fairly inexpensive to buy off other people if I wamted to do that in the future. I'd kept alot of things bc I wasn't as familiar with the UI/the game as i am now back when I tried downsizing in the past. Like I'd hold onto alot of junk bc for example, I'd research about this cool shiny item. and it'd start out so innocently lol.

I'd be like,

"oh I can use this to craft neat gear! Well I'll hold onto it bc i want to do that soon"

but then itd quickly spiral into

"oh, well I need a master crafting tome of X level, and to get that I need to collect these things. Okay that's doable. But wait, to do THAT, I first need to level up these 2 jobs so i can craft/gather the ingredients, alright.. (goes to level up the jobs) ...oh. i don't even have access to the zone that I need to collect those materials in, so then ACTUALLY I need to do the MSQ up to THIS point. Damn, thats kinda devastating bc I just spent all this time leveling lmao. Well, I got this far and i dont want to just toss these items, so ill just hang onto them for now

And then eventually I forgot about the details related to those items, but I remember how let down I felt while dealing with them so i just put it off and eventually they blurred into the clutter of the other stuff going on in my inv/I got invested into other goals lol

But now I've gotten better at asking the right things like "is this item rare? Where is it dropped? What is it used for, is it for crafting or a token or smth else? Also, does an NPC vendor ask for this in return for something cool? Could i buy this item on the MB later on?"

Whereas before, I'd just be like "okay. what can i use this for?? " And then I wouldn't see any crafting use for it, so I'd just toss it, and then 10 mins later id go to Mor Dhona and realize DANG IT was a TOKEN, i coulda traded that for smth interesting!! And it seems like a PITA for me to get again 😭 .....so thus began my hoarding :)

can't regret what you don't discard! lmfaooo

Also said screw it and sold off most of my food bc I realized by the time I worked thru all those edibles, id probably have a sub and would be able to buy HQ food really easily. Like, I'd been holding onto the food from when I had brute-force-leveled CUL to 50, and I'm still gonna have like ~200 hours worth of exp lmao.

I also actually, seriously reviewed the differences in food stats for once in my life (this deserves so much praise tbh bc I do not care for their details as long as I'm getting the exp buff lmao) and realized my level 15 HQ food is useless to hang onto bc my lvl 40 normal foods are still way better, and all this other info that's probably common knowledge lmao (and ik i CAN get more efficient with this if I prioritized food with stats that align with which jobs I'm gonna main for now but um. this is far as I care to go into the weeds with food details for now lmaooo like... no. stop thats too much to worry abt for me 😭😂😂 i mean like, i know (i think i know?) Strength and determination for tank, spell speed/piety for casters, skill speed for dps bc it just sounds like it makes sense lol. So like ill half-assedly try and pick the best stat buff food but its not really smth tht im overly concerned abt atm tbh. Maybe later at a higher level but for now everything seems to be okay without needing to suffer over the details)

So I sold off a buncha stuff off to an NPC and now i have a whole page and a half of space. I'm so excited!

I also reviewed the clutter in my chocobo sidebags and finally traded in the ancient gear drops to Rowena and sold off some faded maps that i realized are really common and can get again later lol

I'd have more space but i think I can use those few items up in the short term so it's just a waiting game for moar space uwu

But, yeah!!

✨️ A page and a half of inventory!! ✨️

I haven't had this much space ever since probably the MIDDLE of doing the main 2.0 MSQ!! xD

#lmao #zwei writes

[astranva]

nova i have a friend that literally always copies me😭 so im in a 4 person friend group, and she's always been kinda hostile and fake friendly towards me. she never looked at me when she's telling a story to the 4 of us or even 3 of us. like ever, she just looks at my 2 other friends. and im a 'if you do it to me, i'll do it to you too' kinda person so thats not helping at all. if its the 3/4 of us, she's this crazy loud kinda person. but if its just the 2 of us, she turns into this quiet mom-like kinda person. and she would CUT ME OFF when im talking?! idk which is the real her or which is her front face but its just very unsettling ig.

1. at the beginning of this year i downloaded a dating app bcs frankly im lonely lmao. and mind you all three of my friends all have bf. and this girl also downloaded the same dating app that i used and would always brag ab this guy that, this guy this. it was the first time where i was like 'umm... i dont know how i feel ab this... but i dont like it...'

2. i like to do a mini story time/haul/mental breakdown vlog on my private account right, but i have not done that in so long bcs well pandemic happens. and we all started to be friends around late 2020. so last year, i started to do those videos again but very rarely. this year though a lot happened and so i have more materials for my little private account audience lmao. then she started doing those stuff too w literally the same format. i didnt think of it at first bcs a lot of my friends does it too. until, i did this phone case haul/review thing bcs i just realized that i kept buying them for no reason (hoarding them🫣) and she did the same thing!!! like literally few hours after mine. this keeps happening to this day. idk why it bothers me sm but i does

3. i've always dyed the half bottom of my hair since 2020 and i always kinda update my private account ab it. so few days ago, i re dyed it bcs im going somewhere soon right. the same deal, half bottom of my hair, then post it on my private account. tell me why i opened my instagram and she literally did the same thing... she dyed the half bottom of her hair... w the same vlog style... mind you, she didn't say anything ab my hair yesterday. nothing at all.

and there's so much more. nova am i the toxic one? pls tell me if you think so. i just feel bothered w all this stuff. like she can do whatever she wants but dud like if you hate me tell me you hate me? dont just force yourself to befriend me bcs of the friend group? the copying stuff is just too often to say 'oh its just a coincidence'. my other friends would say stuff like 'dude where did you get that?' 'that looks good' 'i've been wanting that' and i would gladly help them bcs i love when ppl match me (not just clothes ofc) rather than just saying absolutely nothing, then literally copied me...

also can i be 🔪 anon plss. i feel like its appropriate lmao

NAAAHH CUT HER OFFF 😭

it’s sooo infuriating! especially since she’s not exactly the nicest to you wtf no 😭 honestly, when that used to happen to me, i didn’t do anything about it because they were always people who weren’t in the same group as mine but since she’s actually in your group of friends, i’d start being a little sarcastic about it if i were you.

idk but my passive aggressive side would come out tbh 💀 and i’d just be leaving comments about it until she gets the memo about me noticing it or basically telling her that she’s not original and could use a personality.

like all that i’d get if she were nice to you, but copying you and having the audacity to be two faced? naaaah bye.

you’re not toxic, bub! it’s very natural and normal for you to feel annoyed by it because it really is, and again, you feel that way because she’s being rude and mean, too. so don’t beat yourself up for it

(yes, you can! xx)

#🔪anon

[theshmeepking]

has anyone done this yet

#my art #ok ko #ok ko fanart #ok ko: let's be heroes! #ok ko let's be heroes #ok ko: let's be heroes! fanart #ok ko lbh #ok ko let's be heroes fanart #ok ko lbh fanart #laserblast #fink #professor venomous #certified shmeepy original #he was literally canonically de-himbofied don't fuckin @ me #i'd say i'm sorry for this but that would be a lie i have zero regrets #tbh i've been hoarding this for... way too long #because there's another version i wanna do so i kept telling myself ''you can post it when you have both'' #but considering my track record with shit like that i probably should have seen this coming #so yeah alternate version coming sometime maybe eh don't count on it #ok ko spoilers #ok ko lets be heroes spoilers #ok k.o.! let's be heroes spoilers #why did i wait until this post had over 2k notes to add these tags #the world may never know

[leaveharmony]

It's sad how you've allowed these white men take over real estate in your heard mortgage free. You used to be really cool before you allowed your bitterness to take over. I've unfollowed you and am probably going to block you because while i respect that you don't have to like any one you constantly shitting on people just because you dislike it is sad and seeing as my life is hard enough I don't need your negativity in my life.

Um...Ok?  And you should?  If my TIDAL WAVE OF NEGATIVITY AND BITTERNESS during the maybe 7 seconds per week I'm forcibly reminded that whoever it is you're talking about exists outweighs whatever it was that caused you to bestow the honour of "really cool" on me in the first place then godspeed, nonners.  Go seek your bliss.I'm not...sure why you feel the need to tell me this tbh, as the tragedy of being Deemed Uncool by an anonymous stranger who's never interacted with me in any way is a comparatively minor one, but if the acknowledgement makes you feel better about it than I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.Farewell, follower number...uh...follower who had a number probably, idk I don't know how many I have.

------

All clowning aside though, I genuinely don't understand why someone would send a message like that.  And I had no idea how to respond to it...or if I should.  If they're looking for attention, isn't that just giving them what they want?  But then...if I ignored it, would that make them send more?  Can you block an anon?  I have no idea.  For the terrible crime of vocally disliking certain popular wrestlers in her own space, I've literally seen people spend over a month relentlessly harassing a friend of mine in the most vile and vicious manner, while the person that triggered it all egged them on and laughed about it.

So...I never know what to do.  Probably it wouldn't lead to anything that bad, but how do I know?  If they've been around since I was “really cool” (I'm sorry, that's still funny.  I've never been cool in my life) then they'd know I'm seeing a therapist.  They'd know I have pretty crippling social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, severe depression.  Were they trying to set it off?They did, actually - messages like that always spike my anxiety badly when I see them.  Heartrate went right up, stomach sank.  It isn't the content so much as the intent, you know?  Random message out of nowhere RE hey I think you're awful: what's the point of that?  Why take the time?Is that what they were trying to do?  Somehow...get me to correct my fiendish refusal to *looks at smeared writing on hand* um, tailor my space to their exact specifications?  Did they unfollow me a few days ago and get frustrated when I didn't mention it (or indeed, notice)?  Were they looking for attention?  Validation?  Just acknowledgement?  I don't keep any track of how many followers I get tbh, except to check that new ones aren't porn bots.  How many people are here or why doesn't affect my life in any way.

It's...I don't wanna use the word triggering, necessarily.  But like.  As I say...if they've been here however long, they know I have anxiety.  They know I live in an active abuse situation.  They know I get extremely defensive over my space bc I've got a history of people coming into my spaces both real and virtual and taking things.  My father's sold or given away or thrown out or destroyed my things on more than one occasion, once or twice while I literally sobbed and begged him not to.  That time it was a doll cradle.  I was maybe 6.  He sold it to a lady for five dollars while I cried in the driveway.When I got home from a school trip to New York one day, I came into my room to find he'd been in here and rearranged all my furniture even up to moving the bed from where I had it...and of course, he got furiously angry when I burst into tears.  I couldn't move the bed back, it was too heavy for me and I wasn't strong enough...and he wouldn't do it, so I just sat there sobbing hysterically until he finally came raging back in, shouting abuse and calling me everything under the sun, and moved it back.Imagine coming home exhilarated from a great experience to find out people you were meant to trust had come into your space without your consent or knowledge and reorganized everything in it, then had an explosion of temper because you weren't “grateful” they'd done it.  There's a reason I have a hoarding problem I'm just now trying to address, after decades of being terrified to let anything out of my sight lest it be gone when I go to look for it.  There's a reason I'm protective of my space.

This blog is my space.  I don't know what nonners thought I started it for, but it sure as fuck wasn't for anyone else's pleasure or interest; hell, some nights when I'm really plugging away I can churn out like 60 gif posts in a single sitting, and most of them end up with less than ten notes.  It's not for the attention.  Half of why I have alternate tags for wrestlers is so I'm not constantly clogging their tags w/ my nonsense - and I don't tag my hate at all, on the rare occasion I bother with criticisms.  You're looking at the repository of the hyperfixation I use to keep myself alive.  If other people enjoy it, that's super!  But at its heart, it isn't for other people.  

They wanna know about the white man who has real estate in my head?  It's my abusive piece of shit father, who has all but beaten the ability to express negative emotion at all out of me over a period of decades. 

Compared to him, some coward I don’t know from adam hiding on anon trying to chide me for occasional snarky comments about their faves looks like a pair of nail clippers next to a goddamn threshing machine.

[whatqueen-wildcats]

Answer 11-20 😈

tell me about your last failed friendship.

I've never really had any big dramatic friend breakup, but I've had several friendships fade out slowly over time. I'm uhhhh not the best at keeping in touch. idk though, I wouldn't necessarily call them all failed cause the bridges aren't burned, could reconnect someday, and they were great while they lasted even if that never happens.

who do you wish you could connect with but haven’t been able to connect with?

hmm how do i choose just one lol. idk, again no specific interesting story for this one, but plenty of missed connections

what can make you excessively angry?

If I'm already upset, then being ignored, talked over, or deliberately misunderstood will send me into a burning rage

do you enjoy being lightheartedly teased? why or why not?

Yes, to some extent! tbh there are some subjects that I'm always teased me about that I act okay with but am kind of sensitive about, and some days it bothers me more than others. but on the positive side, it often helps me get out of my head and realize the humor in something I was spiraling over lol

do you prefer to be numb or overly emotional? why?

bro idk lol i hate both. like naturally I AM overly emotional, and that comes with good aspects for sure, but many many times it has been too much and I've (either purposely or unconsciously) made myself numb, cause I guess it was preferable in that moment... If I had to choose between the extremes I guess I'll take the feeling, but in reality I'm working pretty hard in therapy rn to find a better balance haha

what is a skill or talent you’ve completely lost or overlooked? why did that happen?

there are tons of things I've dabbled in over the years and quit, but the most significant loss is definitely music. After 4 and 1/2 years dedicated to studying it in college I was totally burned out, barely even listened to much music for a while lol. I've slowly added a lot back in my life, I teach several guitar students, occasionally trying to write a song here and there again, but I still lost A Lot of skill from so long out of practice

what was your favorite color as a child and what is your favorite color now?

Blue, like the turquoise-y sky blue, which is still a favorite for sure! But I'm in a very deep green moment currently

what is something you can’t bring yourself to get rid of?

Oh, so many things. sometimes I genuinely fear that I'm one extreme tragedy away from a clinical hoarding situation.

tell me something you don’t like telling the people you are close to.

Anything I think they don't want to hear! Again, a thing I am working on in ✨Therapy✨ at the moment, and I am thankfully getting better at it. Still don't like it though!

tell me what you think others think about you.

mmm this is a bit broad so I'm gonna answer with what typical first impressions I think I give.

-goofy/awkward

-kind (I hope)

-very particular way of dressing (people may love or hate my look but I like to play with clothes/hair/makeup and often stand out as a result)

-either well-spoken or just plain pretentious haha

-stressed out/worried

-unorganized and not punctual

(I'm curious to know how my guesses at first impressions stack up to whatever your actual first impressions of me were haha)

Thanks for asking friend! and happy easter!🥚

#ask