#team CMEN
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Pyrrha: *slams her palms on desk and stands up* That’s it!
Pyrrha: Starting right now, I am becoming a villainess!
RWBY: 😦
JN_R: 😦
SSSN: 😦
CMEN: 😦
Oscar: 😦
Glynda: 😦
Ozpin: 😦
Qrow: 😦
Cinder: 😦
Salem: 😦
Pyrrha: …I don’t like it when other people use the hot water before I get to shower!
Pyrrha: …and I’m not sorry!
Ren: Pyrrha, we’ve been over this. Setting basic boundaries and not being a people-pleaser is not the same thing as becoming a villain.
Pyrrha: I’m sorry!
#rwby#pyrrha nikos#team rwby#team jnpr#team cmen#Oscar pine#glynda goodwitch#professor ozpin#qrow branwen#Salem
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Neo: *Throwing a massive tantrum*
Cinder:…why’s she acting like this now?
Roman: *With a ‘I am so done with life’ look* Neo got friendzone by this blonde kid who ask for fake transcripts for Beacon. How the kid see her as his ‘big sis’ and one of the ‘bros for life’. She didn’t take it well.
Cinder: *Taking a deep breath and faceplam at the overreacting behavior of the mute assassin*
Mercury:…as a stepbro or what?
Emerald: I should’ve shot your ass for even uttering those curse words in my presence….
#rwby#rwby shitpost#team cmen#cinder fall#mercury black#emerald garden#neopolitan#neo politan#roman torchwick#silent knight#got friendzone#friendzone#poor neo
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Vtuber au ask. So we know that Weiss, Ruby and Cinder so far all have feeling for Jaune. Will be be seeing other members of team rwby, jnpr and cmen?
The VTuber: The Dragoness
A blank screen was all that was scene, an empty void of nothingness. Until a single spark flared to life in the centre of the screen before all was engulfed in flame, as the shadow of a burning heart stood alone before all faded to ash, and dust. Revealing a woman with vibrant violet eyes, and a dazzling smile. Wings stretched out, behind her, as a crown of horns rest upon her golden locks of hair.
For this was the dragon girl VTuber, DraGunShow.
And, the show was just beginning.
~~~
DraGunShow: Hello, chat~! How’s everyone doing this fine day?
DraGunShow show gave her chat a dazzling smile showing off her sharp canines as she watched chats replies come trickling in.
~~~Stream Chat~~~
ViciousDoggo: It begins!
Helios6291: Hello Dragon!
KnightsBannana: Our queen is here!
IdentifiableMistake: Hello girls~!
Quintix: Hello!
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: Hi everyone, it’s nice to see you too. Okay chat, for today’s show I have a special treat for you~! Well… more of a treat for me, but all of you will get a kick out of it!
Her radiant smile was infectious as her body moved about, letting her wings flap as her ‘girls’ jiggled to, and fro as she went in with her little plan for today.
DraGunShow: Okay, my dear friend, SushiandShibari gave me a challenge the other day, and it’s one that I must say I’m all fired up to do! My challenge is to flirt with everyone’s loveable knight, ErrantryPaladin. And, see if we can get him to blush! The nina cat bet I couldn’t do it, but I’m sure as hell bet I could! So, who’s ready to see their favourite knight blush up a storm?!
~~~~~~
FshOnLand: Oh hell yeah!
RubberDucky98: Let’s do this!
Venger: 5000 bits says she can’t do it.
Rightotheleft: I’ll take that bet.
Yenta: Another 5000 says she blushes first.
Tallai37: Gonna pass that to Errant’s stream then?
Venger: Sure, why not.
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: Ohh~! Do you have no faith in me chat? Please, this is going to be a cake walk~!
DraGun opened up the stream to show she already had, ErrantryPaladin’s stream playing in the background, he was playing another round of, Deep Rock Galactic, and had just finished a mission when, DraGun decided to call, VTubings most infamous heartbreaker.
Errant’s model look to the side as his eye brow shot upwards in an inquisitive, yet cautious manner.
Errant: Hello, DraGun. To what do I owe the unexpected pleasure?
DraGunShow: Okay chat here we go!
DraGunShow: Hey, Errant~! How’s to going?
Errant: It was going well, but now I have a sense of foreboding. Do you need something, DarGun?
DraGunShow: Hey, my name is, DraGunShow, but you can call me tonight~!
Errant: Eh?
DraGun was met with the lovely sight of, Errant looking at her with an utterly bewildered expression across his face. It was cute, but not what she wanted.
DraGunShow: Do you know what’s on this years Valentine’s menu?
Errant: What?
DraGunShow: Me-N-U~!
Errant face contorted into an array of wild facial expressions, varying from the confused, the pondering, to the clarification, and then back to the confused.
DraGunShow: Uhhh… I-I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together~!
Errant: W-What are you doing?
DraGunShow: Uhhh… shit… O-One moment.
Errant: Okay?
DraGun quickly muted herself as she turned to face her screen as he face fell as panic, and embarrassment set in.
DraGunShow: I fucked up!
~~~~~~
RohanasStalion: That was horrible
AledenTheon: crash, and burn baby
VicuousDoggo: abort abort abort!
Venger: So, do I pay Errant the 5000 bits then or what?
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: No! I can still do this! It’s just a little mess up! The bets not over yet! I CAN DO THIS!!!
Fire erupted from, DraGun’s model as she pumped herself up, she roared at her chat as her chat started to hype her up, and she quickly unmuted herself, and…
Errant: So what’s this bet of yours all about?
Stopped dead in her tracks as, Errant’s simple comment blindsided her.
DraGunShow: H-How did you know about that?!
Errant: Someone on my chat decided to make the same bet; ‘5000 bits says, Errant can’t make, DragonDeezBoobs blush.’ Is that why you were flirting with me earlier? To get me to blush?
DraGunShow: Ah-hahaha haaa… SushiandShibari made bet with me that I couldn’t get you to blush, and I bet I could. So…
Errant: And, what is the prize of you winning this bet; bragging rights?
DraGunShow: Uhh… Yeah pretty much. Bragging rights, and gloating that I could get you to blush.
Errant: Hmmm… Would you care to make this more… interesting~?
The way, Errant purred that last word sent a chill down, DraGun’s spine. On that filled her with excitement, and desire as he stared her down.
DraGunShow: Interesting how~?
Errant: Simple: We both tell pickup lines until the other pleads uncle, and the winner wins both the smug satisfaction of making the other blush, and admit defeat. And, the promised 5000 bits their chat offered. You game, or is the dragon afraid to be burned?
DraGun let loose a growl deep within her throat as she took the Paladins challenge with earnest gusto.
DraGunShow: I’m game! Ready to become a blushing mess when I break you down!
Errant: we shall see. Alright! Chat we are about to have our little duel. You shall be the ultimate decided on who the winner is. And, you also allowed to tell us any of your clever pickup lines in the chat. Unless that is a problem, Dragun?
DraGunShow: My chat vs yours? Sounds like fun, what do you say chat, up for a challenge?
~~~~~~
RubberDucky98: Yeah let’s do this!
Tallai37: We’re gonna wreck them!
Yenta: Anyone want to add to the betting pool?
Penguinwithagun: I’m down for 500!
Kachina: I can do a 100.
Venger: Let’s take them for every bit they have!
~~~~~~
Dragun smiled deviously as she stared at the wandering paladon as they prepared for the games to begin.
DraGunShow: Seems my chat is upping the wager.
Errant: So are my; hopefully they can forck over the bits when you lose.
DraGunShow: In your dreams pretty boy~!
Errant: Ladies first.
DraGunShow: Alright, I’m not feeling myself today, can I feel you up instead~?
Errant: Weak. Treat me like I am a pirate, and give me that booty.
DraGunShow: Arrgh me captain, der be dog shite over the starboard bow!
Errant: Oh, tough croud.
DraGunShow: If you were a flower you’d be a damn-delion~!
Errant: What are you some sort of cocky sixth grader? Hit me with something good!
Errant: Ahem, my turn. Do you know how to play, Titanic?
DraGunShow: There’s a game associated with the, Titanic?!
Errant: Yeah, it’s a simple enough game to play too; You be the iceberg, and I’ll be the, Titanic going down you~!
DraGun’s eyes flared for the briefest of moments. She cooed softly to herself as she watched how he could play with fire. No things we’re getting exciting!
DraGunShow: Tell me, do you have extra room in your mouth for an extra tongue?
Errant: Do you like bacon, DraGun?
DraGunShow: I love me a slice of bacon.
Errant: Wanna strip then?
DraGunShow: Eh? Ohhh… That’s bad. That’s really bad.
Errant: Yeah, it took you too long for you to realize it.
DraGunShow: My turn! That shirt looks good on you, as a matter of fact, so would I~!
Errant: Speaking of clothes, while you look absolutely gorgeous in yours, I bet you’d look divine without them~!
Dragun’s cupped her face with her hands as she reeled back, even if she tried to hide it, errant could see the red of her blush blooming across her face.
DraGunShow: You threw that back on me! That’s not fair!
Errant: Alls fair in love, and war my dear dragon.
DraGunShow: EEEEEIIII?!?!!
~~~~~~
Venger: I think we’re gonna lose this one pals.
Zathrian: the pool is at, 6380 bits.
TraiqKanti: He’s breaking her down.
AledenTheon: I expected her to be better at flirting.
IdentifiableMistake: Always the flitter, never the flirted.
Quintix: She is absolutely adorable though.
Rightotheleft: The clips that have been made will be fantastic!
Asrid: Here’s a flirt you can use, DraGun!
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: I recommendation?
DraGunShow: Hmm…
DraGunShow: Oh~! Fufufufu~!
Errant: Should I be nervous chat? I feel like I should be a little nervous.
DraGunShow: Hey, Errant~?
Errant: Yes?
DraGunShow: I’m no watermelon, but I have something pink, sweet, and juicy that I’ll know you’ll like. Oh, and it’s seedless, would you care to change that~?
Errant gave a low whistle as he looked away, a faint blush, but a noticeable blush spread across his face. She may be losing their little challenge, but that little blush was a win, and all wins in her book.
Errant: Now that’s quite the spicy pickup line. Better step up my game then.
DraGunShow: Bring it on, Loverboy~!
Errant: I will, but can you remind me later to hang up a photo that I have of you first?
DraGunShow: Y-You have a photo of me?
Errant: I do, but I keep forgetting to put it up; Can you make sure I remember so I can nail you against the wall~?
DraGunShow: Eh…?
The cold unwavering confidence he carried as he said that to her face broke her. She thought she was a strong girl who could make any man fall to their knees before her. But, he wasn’t any ordinary man now was he?
DraGunShow: O-Okay! A-Are you…?!
Errant: Hey question: You ride a motorcycle right?
DraGunShow: Y-Yeah…?
Errant: And, you of course grab the handle bar to ride it.
DraGunShow: Yeah, that’s how you drive any bike.
Errant: So, should I grab you by the horns to ride you then~?
DraGunShow: EH?!?!
And, with those few words. DraGun’s face erupted into a display of red as her hands swiftly covered her face as she become flush with embarrassment. The bastard was smooth, smoother than she exercised expected him to possibly be. And, as much as she enjoyed flirting with him, it was embarrassing as all hell.
DraGunShow: I give! I give! I-I-I can’t do this anymore! You win!
Errant: And, victory is mine! Pay up chat.
Errant hummed to himself as he say the donations from the looser flood in. This had been a fun little diversion in his opinion. However, he thinks he did more harm than good.
Errant: Uhh… DraGun…? Are you okay? Did I take it too far with the flirting? If so I’m…?!
DraGunShow: I’m fine?!! Great even! Congrats on winning! Goodbye!
Errant: Uhh… Okay, good…
A soft chime sounded as the call disconnected as, Errrant’s hand that was about to wave goodbye slowly fell, as DraGun’s swift, and sudden departure.
Errant: …
Errant: I think I have done irrevocable harm to her…
Errant: …
Errant: Okay… back to rock, and stone then.
~~~
DraGunShow had swiftly cut the call as she now hid with her face in her hands, and she screamed in embarrassment at what, Errant had done.
DraGunShow: If you were going to make a girl blush you could have least be a gentleman about that.
~~~~~~
Penguinwithagun: Isn’t that why everyone likes him though?
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: S-Shut up chat!
~~~~~~
Venger: Best 5000 bits I’ve ever lost.
TraiqKanti: Did she really lose the bet?
AledenTheon: Considering, Errant flirted with her, it’s a win.
Asrid: SushiandShibari’s bet was a fantastic idea.
~~~~~~
DraGunShow: NyanNinja?!!
DraGun’s model shot straight up, while her face was still flushed red with embarrassment, her eyes held a blazing bloody red. A setting for her model where she can make her models eyes change from their usual violet hue, to deep crimson to show that she was angry. And, right now, she was pissed.
~~~
Meanwhile on another, VTuber’s stream, SushiandShibari was playing a horror game when she got a sudden call from her friend.
SushiandShibari: Hmm? Oh, DragonDeezBoobs is calling me~! But, why?
SushiandShibari: Hey, DraGun, what’s up, do you need something?
DraGunShow: You’re a bitch!
SushiandShibari: Eh…?
And, as suddenly, and unexpectedly as she called she left, leaving a bewildered, and confused cat behind, leaving her with, but one question.
SushiandShibari: W-What… What the fuck was that about?!
\\\
Haaa… I lnew what, and how I wanted this done for days… but, it took me days to write it?!
Haa… enjoy everyone.
Oh! It’s AI art if you’re curious. I would have found a photo, but I couldn’t find one that fit. As sad as that is, I did get the, Dragon Slayer prompt out of it.
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Jaune: Good Morning Team! Sorry for being out till this morning, but i did have a lot of fun on my date!
Pyrrha: I didn't know you had a date?
Ren: Uh oh.
Jaune: Oh! I must've forgot to tell you!
Pyrrha: Well, who were you with?
Nora: Oh no.
Jaune: I was on a date with Cinder, The leader of Team CMEN. She acted like she didn't know what basic human kindness was. Must've had hard childhood. But she was very lovely at the end of it all. Uh, maybe a bit handsy, but I was able to keep her from doing anything illegal or regrettable. I was just helping her nurse her Hangover.
R+N: *Cover their ears*
Pyrrha: .... aaaaaaAAAAAAA-
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~And Now Back to the Show~
Pyrrha: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Ruby: WHY IS SHE YELLING?
Weiss: SHE'S BEEN YELLING FOR THE LAST THREE AND A HALF MINUTES!
Jaune: ALL I DID WAS TELL HER I WENT ON A DATE WITH CINDER-
Ruby: YOU WHAT?
Yang: Uh oh.
Jaune: I WENT ON A DATE WITH CINDER FALL, THE LEADER OF TEAM CMEN!
Blake: Oh no ...
Ruby: .... aaaaaaAAAAAAA-
#Source: A bunch of shows have done this I'm pretty sure.#rwby#jaune arc#ruby rose#yang xiao long#weiss schnee#nora valkyrie#blake belladonna#lie ren#pyrrha nikos#arcfall#knightfall#rwby knightfall#cinder fall#jaune x cinder#rwby shitpost
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JNPR Abridged pt.1
Jaune: Alright team! Assemble!
Ren: We've been here for like... 40 minutes
Jaune: Well then assemble better
Nora: Don't know how to do that
Pyrrha: Nora don't be a wise guy
Jaune: I don't think she has any problem with that,
Nora: Hey! well fuck you to Jaune
.
Roman: *beat up after fighting Jaune* What the hell is wrong with you!?
Jaune: *Also beat up* You want to know what's wrong with me!? Every night I have the same reoccurring dream, where I wake up next to a Pumpkin Pete box, and the prize inside is the rabbit and then I wake up in a cold sweat and then piss myself back to sleep!
.
Neptune: All I'm saying is we need to come up with a better plan
Jaune: Shut the fuck Neptune
Neptune: I'll have you know I slept with most of the women at Haven!
Ren: Shut the fuck up, Neptune
Nora: 'Why am I on this team again?'
Ren: now look, I have a massive dick
Nora: 'Ahhh!'
.
Cinder: Well it's a pleasure to meet you all
JNPR: ...
Jaune: You're evil aren't you?
*In CMEN's Room*
Cinder: *Looking at Emerald, Mercury, and Neo* They are so fucking onto us!
#rwby#team jnpr#jaune arc#nora valkyrie#pyrrha nikos#lie ren#rwby jaune#rwby nora#rwby ren#rwby pyrrha#One piece abridged#rwby meme#cinder fall#rooster teeth
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"Jaune Gets A Gun AU - Day 3"
Colonial Marines - Various...
Inspired by @howlingday's RU-JA-GUN-CON
The girls were still feeling a little off, like they had forgotten something big. Something related to the goofy knight that had captured all their hearts. But for the life of them all they couldn't put their finger on it, plus there was a sudden distrustful jealousy of Cheerleaders that they couldn't explain. So they just chose to go along with Jaune's suggestion to get some lunch.
As they were moving past the various booths on their way to the Food Court, they passed a very militaristic booth. It instantly reminded Ruby of the Mobile Infantry Recruiting Booth from Day One of the convention. She shivered, knowing that through her inaction she had allowed Jaune to enlist.
????: Jaune? Jaune is that you?
Jaune: Huh? Did someone call my name? That voice. It couldn't be?
????: It is.
Jaune: (Turns to his right) Aunt Ripley? When did you get back?
The girls all turned to their right, following Jaune's lead.
Ripley: Recently, and my, my you have gotten so BIG since the last time I saw you! Come give your Auntie a hug!
The girls watched as Jaune hugged the older woman, a bright smile on his face. When they ended the embrace, Jaune stepped back to stand with the girls.
Ripley: Now, who are these young ladies?
Jaune: Some friends from Beacon. Ruby Rose, team leader of team RWBY.
Ruby: Hi.
Jaune: Pyrrha Nikos, my partner and temamate on JNPR.
Pyrrha: Hello.
Jaune: This is Emerald Sustrai, she's from Haven and a member of team CMEN.
Emerald nods.
Jaune: and a pair of old friends from Ansel. You should remember Tiny Tina.
Ripley: I do. Good to see you again, Tina, and if my memory serves me correctly, you should be Jinx.
Jinx/Tiny Tina: Ms Ripley.
Ripley: So what brings you to this event, Jaune?
Jaune: My friends have talked me into getting a ranged option to round out my arsenal. Right now I'm only using Crocea Mors, so they think I should look at getting a gun.
Ripley: Not a bad idea. So, have you thought about what you want to get?
Jaune: A few people, I know, suggest a shotgun, but I'm still open to other ideas.
Ripley: Well, maybe I can help you. Come with me.
Ripley led the sextet towards the booth she had been at. As they closed the distance, they saw two armoured men, standing behind the display counter.
Jaune: They look a little serious.
Ripley: Hicks and Hudson are good guys, and don't let their appearances fool you (whispers to Jaune) They're big softies.
The girls spread out to look at the display case as Jaune was introduced to his Aunt Ripley's companions.
Ruby: They do have a pretty good selection.
Pyrrha: They all look pretty sturdy and robust.
Tiny Tina: What's this one? Here at the end.
Hudson: That's a M134 Motion Tracker.
Jinx: Motion tracker?
Hudson: Provides a 180 degree sensing hemisphere in the direction the operator is facing, that indicates the presence of anything moving, with distance from the operator. Great for watching for unseen or hidden threats.
Ruby: Is that a M41A with under barrel U1 grenade launcher?
Hicks: (Moving from Ripley and Jaune as they continue to talk.) You have a good eye. I have a feeling you know the specs too.
Pyrrha: She does. What about that big one? Looks like a machine gun.
Hudson: The M56 Smartgun.
Tiny Tina: Smartgun? How is it smart?
Hicks: Mounted on a self stabilizing arm that auto-tracks targets with an infrared target tracking system.
Jinx: So it would be good for someone with, like, NO firearms experience?
Hudson: It would. Takes the guess work out of hitting a target.
Tiny Tina: And this one here, next to the rifle?
Hicks: M240 Incinerator Unit. (Noticing the looks of the girls) It's a flamethrower.
Ruby/Pyrrha: Nope. Too brutal.
Hudson: When you're taking on Xenos... anything goes girlies.
Tiny Tina/Jinx: Xenos?
Hicks: Screen on the side of the booth, next to the armour display.
Girls: What the hell are those?
Hicks: Xenomorphs, or Aliens. Steel like exoskeletons and molecular acid for blood.
The girls all grew wide-eyed. Those things made the grimm look like stuffed animals. Ruby and Pyrrha grew even more concerned, knowing that the last time Jaune visited a booth about a military style unit, he ended up enlisting.
Jaune: So, what do you think? That shotgun looks promising.
Hicks: Solid and true. War Era M37 pump, modified with a short barrel, capable of slam-firing.
Jaune: The pistol looks nice too, but I think I'd go with the shotgun.
Hicks: It's my personal favourite. Like to keep it nearby for ... "close encounters"
Ripley: So, see anything that tickles your fancy, Jaune?
Jaune: I think I'll get the shotgun.
Hudson: Okay, just some paperwork to do and...
Pyrrha/Ruby: NO! (Each girl taking a side and hooking Jaune under his arm pits, and before Jaune could struggle, Tiny Tina and Jinx moved in and lifted him by his legs.)
Hicks/Hudson: (Shouting as they watched a potential customer being hauled off) What are you doing?
Ripley: Put him DOWN NOW!
Hudson: I don't get it? It's only forms to get the proper licences. That's an over reaction, if I ever saw one.
Emerald: I'm sorry, but Jaune already enlisted with the Mobile Infantry. Thank you for your time.
Ripley: HE WHAT NOW?!? JAUNE GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! YOUR MOTHER IS SO GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS YOUNG MAN!
Jaune: (in the distance) I'm sorry?
Hicks: United Federation, those blood suckers always looking for fresh meat for the grinder.
Hudson: Game Over, man. Game Over.
Ripley: (Whipping about to face the two marines) Get hold of Gorman. Tell him personal favour. Find a way to get Jaune out of the that enlistment!
(So I'm giving up on the Bolding of all the speakers. If this you find it is better with the bolding, DM or comment, and I'll edit this, and continue the practice in further posts. Hope you enjoyed.)
#jaune gets a gun au#rwby#aliens#colonial marines#jaune arc#ruby rose#pyrrha nikos#emerald sustrai#tiny tina#jinx#lancaster#arkos#topaz#timebomb#ballistarc#ellen ripley#cpl dwayne hicks#pvt william hudson
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Final Thoughts on RWBY - Oscar
Like many things, they honestly had no idea what they were going to do with Oscar. Before anyone tries to defend CRWBY, they have explicitly, and repeatedly said they didn't have a plan, and other things to that effect.
Could they have gone with Rose Garden? Yes, but.
If they hadn't focused so heavily on the importance of teams, literally naming the show after the main team, then it would have worked. They could have done a lot with the premise, which yes it would be awkward, and problematic, but so is a adult reincarnating into a 12 year old. It's rather hard to not make it problematic, unless you have him hitting on MILFs... in which... less problematic? Maybe?
But, the show focuses almost entirely on the important of teams, RWBY, JNPR, CMEN, the stupid Atlas teams that don't need to be mentioned. So, having one couple be the stars of the show wouldn't work.
If they had focused more on Ruby than the team, then it could have worked.
What they could have done instead was simply have him be the wise mentor. The condition would prevent a giant infodump, and would allow any information to be dropped at the appropriate time. Instead they decided to have Ozpin not say anything, and introduce a Mary Sue to do the infodumping.
Now, is Ozpin evil? No. Of course not.
Is he incompetent? Maybe. Ozma was a great warrior, being the leader of free men was not his forté.
Was Ozpin manipulating them?
No. Not at all. He explicitly was trying to let them finish growing up before telling any of them about the fate of the world. Unfortunately, fate wouldn't wait.
But what about Pyrrha. He had to have known she wouldn't have a choice?
Well, yes, probably. What else was he going to do? Let Salem control the Maidens one by one? The Maidens that literally carried the magic he gifted to them? People forget there is an insane witch who wants to destroy the world, and is willing to cause Humanity to go extinct to do it. We can talk about how good Oz was at this job, which, honestly wasn't that good, but neither he nor the world had a choice. The gods were literally forcing him to constantly reincarnate unless is unkillable wife died. Yes, a good fairy tale hero would have figured it out by now, but everything Oz did was trying to protect people. If he was good at it, we wouldn't need plucky young heroes with the power of friendship and laser eyes.
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This video has been constantly showing up in my recommended for the past few days and it makes me laugh every time I see it. Team CMEN will never not be funny to me
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Team CMEN: *marching into a room disguised as a circus using Neo’s semblance to ambush RWBYJNPOR*
Jaune: WAIT A MINUTE!!
Team CMEN: *stops awkwardly*
Jaune: What’s going on here?
Mercury: Well, um, we were invited by…uh…Professor Ozpin! …as a surprise for, uh, your arrival!
RWBYJNPOR: …
CMEN: 😀
Jaune: *to Nora* Squish ‘em.
CMEN: 😦
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Patreon Reward: A Pure Support Group: Emerald Sustrai
Another FABJA meeting; Emerald recounts her own experience with Joan~
(Since its Haunt Season, its time for a Haunted House Halloween Special!)
It was time again, with members of FABJA arriving for a meeting. This one was headed by Nora Valkyrie, the curvy and energetic hammer wielding shortstack of Team JNPR. Nora was wearing her short shorts that clung to her lower half, almost being swallowed by her ass and settling snugly against her cock and balls, her ‘Boop’ t-shirt stretched across her chest, holding her breasts snugly and showcasing her lack of bra, her nipples bleeding through her thin top.
But Nora didn’t notice, or if she did, she didn’t care. She had little bodily shame after years on the road with Renny, actually enjoying the fact that her team were all futa (bar Joan) so she could lounge naked when she wanted. But that was neither here nor there at the moment.
She was leading the group tonight as Renny needed some rest from some…fun…they had earlier to prepare her for the meeting tonight, and Pyrrha had been grabbed and stuck being Joan’s teddy bear tonight…not that Pyrrha minded, beyond the incredible erection she was stuck sporting as Joan spooned up against her back.
Shaking herself free from the mental image before she gave herself an erection, Nora looked over the group that had arrived today.
May-May was here, the busty godsibling of their team leader and one of they shyest people she had ever met…also one of the only people to have boobies bigger than hers or Pyrrha’s…though they still were smaller than Joan’s chest planets. And no, that was not an exaggeration! Anyone she asked would agree those mounds had their own gravitational field!
Next to her was Velvet, the sweet and shy member of CFVY who was dressed in a loose pair of shorts and a loose tank top that did little to hide her surprisingly large bust and her bubbly rear…never mind how big her balls were, the large spheres bulging out the front of the material.
Ruby was here as well, fidgeting as she kicked her feet back and forth nervously as she waited for the group to start.
The skater girl Reese was here, one of her feet drawn up and resting on the seat of the chair she was using, looking relaxed for the moment. Time would only tell if it would last, considering what they were all here for.
Next to her, sat Arslan, the girl who apparently had fought Pyrrha several times back in Mistral and had a form a rivalry with her, dressed in her own pajamas, her legs crossed and her arms folded over her chest.
On Arslan’s other side was Neon, the actually fun cat faunus to be around, sitting in a surprisingly feminine pink nightgown, modified for cat faunus, her tail swishing about behind her. Her hair was also loose from its almost trademark ponytails, falling free around her shoulders.
Weiss was here again, the white haired member of Team RWBY was dressed in her normal nightgown, hunched over and looking uncomfortable at the fact that she was here. And while Nora didn’t like how she had treated her Team Leader for as long as she did, she understood the fact that she was finally just learning about herself. And if Joan was willing to still give her a chance, she would as well.
…she still didn’t like her that much, or several others in the room, since they were all threats to “Operation: Juniper Berries”.
Last but not least, were the biggest threats to said operation (not counting May-May or Velvet, since they had both known Joan for longer than any of them): the three female members of CMEN: Cinder Fall, Emerald Sustrai, and Neopolitan Torchwick.
All three of them were constant threats, who wanted nothing more than to take Joan from them and keep them to themselves.
But, she had to be polite, following the rules and how this Support Group was run. So she would be, no matter how much it rankled!
Clearing her throat, Nora looked over everyone and cleared her throat. “Okay, everyone! Welcome to the next meeting of FABJA!” she chirped, rocking back and forth on her seat as she gained the attentions of the group before her. “Now, I know that someone here has had an experience with ‘Joan Exposure’ and needs to vent. Who is speaking tonight?” Nora bit back a frown as she saw Emerald raise her hand, a blush on her cheeks as both Cinder and Neo placed a hand on each of her shoulders in a form of camaraderie.
“I…I am…” Emerald muttered, her face having a healthy glow form, despite her darkened skin. “My story begins a little while ago, before Halloween…”
~
“Thanks for coming with me, Emerald! No one was able to come with me to this haunted house!” Joan bounced in place, her bouncing being very distracting to a great many people, yet the blonde being completely, utterly, frighteningly oblivious to how her tits and ass bouncing, even restrained as they were, was making people fall over, walk into walls and other solid objects, get slapped by their lovers, and all other manners of embarrassing injury.
Despite knowing that she was going to be likely very bored (after all, a Hunter in Training saw so much worse than any civilian Haunted House could ever dream up), Emerald smiled. Being with Joan would make it all worthwhile, no matter how boring it was to her. She got to spend time with her crush, and just maybe rub it into the faces of Valkyrie, Nikos, and Ren at the fact that she was the one who got to share this with her…
As they bought their tickets and entered, Emerald hummed as she already knew that it was going to be boring…
~
Well, Emerald was partially right. The trappings of the Haunted House were incredibly dull, barely passing the ‘Meh’ level of her personal fright meter, but she somehow managed to forget one very important thing that she shouldn’t have forgotten:
Joan did not take jump scares well.
“EEK!” Joan jumped again as a ‘body’ fell from the ceiling, attached to a noose, swinging and ‘blood’ dripping down from his body and pooling onto the floor. But Emerald didn’t notice that at all. No, her eyes were glued to the fact that Joan’s breasts had jumped so high that they nearly smacked the blonde in the face, swinging around in such a way that Emerald wondered what good the bra she was wearing was, and why wasn’t the girl in pain with her breasts moving like that?
Emerald was pulled from her thoughts as Joan slammed a hand to her bouncing chest, her palm squishing into her cleavage, panting loudly, blushing hard as she glanced around rapidly, looking for more scares.
Emerald was thankful she wasn’t looking down, since she’d receive quite the fright from the angry bulge in her skirt. Thankfully, she had done a ‘Cinder’ and just in case of Joan being…well, Joan, she had used a ribbon to loosely tie her cock to her thigh, where her shaft was currently straining. She was also thankful for the darkness, as it hid the shiny trail of precum drooling down her leg.
“It’s okay, Joan.” she comforted as best she could, taking the girl’s hand and enjoying the warmth of it as she carefully led her to the next room.
It wasn’t any better honestly, as much as Emerald wished.
“AAAAHHHH!!!” Emerald’s eyes widened, the wine red orbs nearly popping out of their sockets as Joan leapt into her arms, wrapping her arms around her neck and yanking her head down into the heavenly softness and immense warmth of her chest, the sweetness of her scent permeating her lungs.
Her cock throbbed and shot a massive spurt of precum down her leg, Emerald feeling her soak getting wet as her precum soaked into it. Her balls throbbed, but Emerald held herself back by sheer force of will. She wasn’t gonna cum from this! She wasn’t going to have Joan think of her as a pervert! She knew enough of them already!
Despite her cock pumping out her precum at a steady rate, the sticky secretion slopping down her thigh and leg in a fashion that would be humiliating when she got outside, Emerald managed to crane her head up and walked. This was the last room, once they left, they’d be in the outside lot and she wouldn’t have to worry about cumming while Joan was in her arms!
As they stepped out into a thankfully empty end lobby, the room filled with fake blood and corpses and the like, Joan slowly hopped down from Emerald’s arms. “S-Sorry for being such a scaredy-cat, Emmy…and thank you for coming with me.”
Emerald’s world was enveloped in softness again as Joan hugged her tightly, her head being pulled down into her (sadly covered) cleavage with a soft whisper of “Thank you” entering her ear.
SPLURT! SPLURT! SPLURT! Emerald shook in Joan’s hold as her cock erupted, her white cum mixing with the fake blood and paint on the floor.
~
“...and that’s what happened…” Emerald had her face buried in her hands, but everyone could see the warm glow of her blush.
…and the massive, leaking tent in her shorts. Though no one was spared that, some being more embarrassing than others, like Neon’s nightgown showing very clearly that her dick was feline as well, having barbs that clung to the fabric, and Reese’s cock slipping out of the leg of her shorts, the pink head glistening with precum.
Nora was no exception, her own cock bulging hard, her shaft forcing her shorts away so it had room to slip out. But Nora didn’t bother covering it, everyone here had seen her in the locker rooms, after all!
Clearing her throat, she looked at all of them, feeling a bit of sympathy for the dark skinned girl, even though she hated it. “Thank you for sharing your story, Emerald! Sorry that happened to you, though I think a lot of people are jealous about it.” she certainly was, though there was no way in hell she would admit it! “I don’t know about all of you, but I think I need to ‘relieve some pressure’...and I think everyone else needs to as well!” embarrassed flushes and choked sounds filled the room, but Nora didn’t know why, it was obvious they all needed it!
“Shall we break for this meeting?” upon hearing no denials, Nora nodded. “Okay, have a good night everyone! And hopefully, may your dreams be filled with Joan!” she said standing, and inadvertently shoving her cock out towards everyone.
There were coughs as one by one, the girls rose and, rather swiftly, Nora noted, made their way out towards their dorms, leaving the orangette alone, and with a straining hard on.
She would need to find a way to get this down, since she knew that Renny couldn’t take more tonight…not to mention, she couldn’t wake up Joan. She didn’t want Joan seeing that until they confessed and got her as a girlfriend and lover!
Ah, the struggles of a woman in love…
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Distribution of Jaune's Children by Teams - CmEN
So, 5-8 was the winner, but 1025-2048 is a close second, and is both a lot more:
useful
hilarious
Unfortunately, for RWBY that was up to over 700 kids, which is a bit too silly. Instead I'll lop 3 off the exponent, to make it more manageable. We'll go with 2^8 instead of 2+11, which is 256, which times 3.7% = 9 kids.
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Ruby: Jaune! Where have you been!?! We've been worried sick!
Shark!Faunus Jaune: *Sweaty, panting* I'm Fine! I'm fine! I was just with Mint from Team CMEN. The Remora Faunus?
Weiss: Well, What were you both up to? You look like you ran a marathon?
Jaune: Well ... I was talking to her, and we were hanging out in her dorm ....
Jaune: Then she taught me why Remora are also called Shark-Sucker Fish.
W+R: Ew.
Yang: Nice VB!
Blake: I guess it makes sense why your pants are gone then.
~~~~~
Remora!Faunus Neo: *wearing Jaune Pants*
Cinder: I would appreciate it if yo udidn't parade your conquests around the Room, Neo.
Neo: *Flips her off, leaves the Room*
#rwby#jaune arc#ruby rose#yang xiao long#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#cinder fall#shark!faunus jaune#remora!faunus neo#slientknight#silent knight#rwby silent knight#rwby shitpost
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I saw something that has me crying laughing and I have to share it with you. So team names in RWBY are comprised of the first letters of the names of the characters in them, and always stand for/are pronounced like an actual word. For example, RWBY is pronounced ruby, and JNPR is pronounced juniper. During a tournament arc, the villain team consists of the main villain Cinder, her two minions Mercury and Emerald, and Neopolitan. This means that their team name was likely Team CMEN
HELPPPPP NO WONDER THEY DIDNT BRING IT UP. TEAM CMEN. 💀💀💀💀💀
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Butler knight)
Life was good for Ruby. She has her own butler (that looks good shirtless but she will never say it out loud because of yang), and even made a lot of friend, even if some....a lot of girl in beacon sometimes glares at her whenever Jaune doing something for her.
She even made friends with that team from Haven! What their name? CMEN! Right. But what's weird is that their leader made weird comment about her eyes and said she might be her biggest obstacle. Baaahh! She probably means Vytal tournament.
However what even weirder is how Jaune started to act with them around and disappearing to "get to know new friends better". He even said that he need to prepare to protect "his litte rose" *Blush* Ican't believehesaidthat!
“Ah… Jaune?”
“Yes, Ren?”
“Why are you covered in blood?”
Jaune took a look at himself as if he just noticed he was covered in the red liquid from head to toe.
“… It’s jam.”
“Smells like blood.”
“It’s a very bad jam,” he insisted.
“… Okay, what about these metal legs you got on your shoulders?”
Jaune took the clearly broken prosthetics and shrugged:
“They came in the box with the jam.”
“In the box?”
“With the jam.”
“…”
“…”
“Alright, have a good one.”
“Thanks!”
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"Ozpin's Fault - AU"
Combat Class Chaos (3/3) (645 Words)
"JAUNE JONATHON ARC!" Glynda hollered as Mercury slid to a complete stop, totally stunned.
All around the amphitheatre, thuds and thumps could be heard as multiple students, both male and female, fainted. Jaune didn't pause with her chosen plan. She totally ignored what she had just done, pushing the embarrassment down as she followed up her first tactic with her second.
Drawing on fourteen years of rigorous ballet classes and training, Jaune executed a high kick. One of Jaune's struggles, for her tenure at Beacon, was how to integrate the grace and flexibility of her dance training into combat situations. Weiss, red-faced at the degenerate display, had to mentally compliment Jaune on her picture-perfect form.
Pain blossomed in Mercury's groin as Jaune connected with her primary target. While a ballet high kick was by far unsuited for actual combat, Jaune achieved the desired effect. Mercury bent over double as he grabbed at his crotch. Searing agony radiating throughout his body from that location. Without wasting an instant, Jaune grabbed her shield with both hands... and crashed it down on the back of Mercury's exposed head, much like how a professional wrestler would use a folding steel chair.
Distracted, Mercury was unprepared with the blow and was driven face-first into the floor. Stars flashed behind his eyes. Aura was a great discovery, and often prevented huntsmen and huntresses from suffering serious harm. But unless you were actively pushing it forward, it did little to soften blows; and Mercury was definitely not in any condition to have his aura up to soften the blow.
Dropping her shield, Jaune fell to her knees and used every ounce of her strength, and limited body mass to roll Mercury over, and out of the ring. Those who had not fainted, sat in stunned silence, as Jaune Arc, the absolute worst combatant in beacon's history, a young man that was suddenly the most alluring fox faunus woman in all of Vale, had just defeated one of the best fighters in class; and she had done it all without losing one sliver of aura.
"Winner... Jaune Arc... by ring out?" Glynda stammered out the result of the match.
Jaune totally impressed with how her impromptu plan worked out started jumping up and down, causing her unsupported chest to do things that caused even more students to faint away, in a second chorus of thuds and thumps. Drawn out of her revelry, what she was doing and did dawned on her. Utter mortification flooded through her entire being, and she dropped to the floor splay-legged, one arm across her ample chest, the other trying to hide her cherry red face.
From where he lay, Mercury groaned, the pain in his crotch and back of his head become dull aches. Glynda shook her head, and quickly moved to regain her own composure, and then control of her class. She moved forward and placed a gentle hand on Jaune's shoulder.
"Go get changed, and meet me in my office after class." she whispered into her nephew now neice's ear, before straightening up and addressing her class with a stern tone. "I suggest anyone who was recording this match, you DELETE it now. If I find out you haven't or Brother's forbid shared it... I will be extremely displeased."
Looking about, she noticed more than a few students doing things with their scrolls, and then moving to complete similar actions on the scrolls of the students that were indisposed.
"CMEN, please see to Mr Black. JNPR please assist Mr... Ms Arc."
The students in question did as they were bid, ad Glynda mentally prepared to eviscerate Headmaster Ozpin. She knew he was the cause of this, and would be Brother's dammed if she didn't force him to fix it.
"Class dismissed." Glynda informed her students as Mercury and Jaune were escorted away by their respective teams.
#ozpin's fault au#rwby#jaune arc#team jnpr#team rwby#female!jaune#foxfaunus!jaune#vixen!jaune#glynda goodwitch#glynda and jaune are related#jaune arc vs mercury black#jaune wins!
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