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#techno is not included in that thou
bzedan · 6 months
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[Main image description: An edited image of Elvira grinning in delight while a skeleton whispers into her ear. Elvira's face has been replaced with Garfield, keeping the hair, and her hand is now his paw. Her decolletage remains intact and is Garfield orange.]
Yay October! A month of many things, isn't it. But one of the things has to be a little spooky, just for vibes. Where we live the Santa Anas have blown in and it is dry as anything, and a perfect low 80s during the day to 70s at sunset (and it'll be VERY cold at night). It is fun, on our family discord, seeing folks share their snowy Halloweens.
Related media to some of the songs:
'The Rythmn of the Night' is beloved to me for multiple reasons but also for this perfect moment from a DJ.
I feel like I've been looking for the music videos I remember from back when you had basic cable and sometimes got free Disney for a week to entice you to subscribe (and my family spent it recording everything they could). They were pop songs, with videos that were just semi-related clips edited together into music videos. I only ever saw them individually, but apparently they're from DTV Monster Hits, which is available with commercials over on Archive.org. The Eurythmic's 'Sweet Dreams' is one of the videos I remember the most (it's the final number).
Speaking of seasonal music, Duran Duran has a new charming album out, Danse Macabre, and it's a fun mix of covers and new songs that is very much a Halloween party album.
Anyway here's a link to October's playlist on Spotify, with the track list below the cut.
And embedded, if you like it like that:
'Doin' Time' - Sublime  
'Little Lies - 2017 Remaster' - Fleetwood Mac  
'2 die 4 (feat. Charli XCX)' - Addison Rae  
'The Rhythm of the Night' - Corona  
'Tubthumping' - Chumbawamba  
'I Think We're Alone Now' - Lene Lovich  
'Patterns' - Simon & Garfunkel  
'I Got The... - 2006 Remaster' - Labi Siffre  
'Everybody's Type' - Boy Jr.  
'Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels' - Todrick Hall  
'Totally Wired' - The Fall  
'Wolf Moon (Including Zoanthropic Paranoia)' - Type O Negative  
'Black Leather Gloves - 7" Release' - Cosmetics  
'This Corrosion - 2006 Remaster' - Sisters of Mercy  
'Glass' - Bat For Lashes  
'Dead Souls - From "The Crow" Soundtrack' - Nine Inch Nails  
'Farewell Transmission' - Songs: Ohia  
'Guilty Pleasure' - Chappell Roan  
'Hair Of The Dog' - Nazareth  
'Fuck Forever' - Babyshambles  
'Spooky' - Dusty Springfield  
'Eaten By The Monster Of Love' - Sparks  
'Wilt Thou Unkind Thus Reave Me' - John Dowland  
'In the Mirror' - Nurses  
'Bells' - The Unlikely Candidates  
'Oh You Are Not Well' - Chloe Foy  
'Jolene' - Strawberry Switchblade  
'Pomegranate Seeds' - Julian Moon  
'Vois sur ton chemin - Techno Mix' - BENNETT  
'Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)' - Eurythmics  
'Lips Like Sugar' - Echo & the Bunnymen  
'Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)' - Concrete Blonde  
'Bite Marks' - Ari Abdul  
'MONACO' - Bad Bunny  
'Change' - Tears For Fears  
'Electricity' - Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark  
'Burning' - Yeah Yeah Yeahs  
'Blue Monday' - Orgy  
'Shoom' - TR/ST  
'Slept so Long' - Jay Gordon  
'Where the Dark Things Are' - Kerli  
'Candy Man' - Roy Orbison  
'Idolize' - Dorian Electra  
'Halloween TV Commercial' - Tommy Lee Wallace  
'Burn' - The Cure  
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wewinbees · 3 years
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people only vilify c!techno because the main villains of the smp (dream and jschlatt) never stream. guys i promise he’s a streamer, he just takes a while..... a very long while, and that’s what makes him morally grey
moral purity is determined by stream scheduling. that’s why ranboo apologists have it so easy! daily streamer, my beloved
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hollenka99 · 3 years
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August Fic Recs
Multi-Chapter Fics
I'm never gonna leave you behind someday by Nelleva - T, 17k, completed
The year after a red sky gives people that viewed it powers, Wilbur's family dies in an attack staged by supervillains. He is discovered by Phil who takes him in indefinitely. He is allowed to heal but there is someone he misses and wishes to see again, no matter how much he's wronged him. There is some mild gore in the first chapter and the attack causes a lot of death so be wary of that but the second chapter is full of Dadza raising a teenage Wilbur. This is the first (and currently only) fic in a series.
Whispers of Red by Alexander_Wesker - T, 58k, completed
This is the sequel to Drawing Dead so I suggest you read that one first. Wilbur comes back to act as the Egg's vessel. His goal is to expand his Family and naturally, the first person he wants to join him is his little brother. Alex is able to write unsettling stuff really well and this fic is no exception. I love Eggbur but please keep him and his particularly raw diet far away from me /j.
I Was Looking for Someone by Raisans_Grapeon - T, 9k, ongoing
SBI zombie apocalypse fic where Wilbur (Ghost) is a zombie who runs into a group of three humans who recognise he's self aware and capable of relearning English. There isn't really gore/cannibalism except for one or two brief bits where it's heavily implied but not graphic despite everything being in Ghost's POV. Also, since Wilbur is learning language, whenever he hears a human conversation, the speech is presented as garbled. It takes a little effort to get the hang of deciphering what is being said but it can be done. Ghost is a sweetheart and I would absolutely protect him with my life if necessary.
Home Again, Home Again by teeth_eater - G, 33k, completed
Tommy, a human who was taken from Earth, crashes the ship he was on and becomes a stowaway on a cargo ship that happens to be manned by SBI. When they discover him living in the vents, they keep him in a cell until they are sure this member of a dangerous species won't do them harm, leading to them eventually becoming friendly. The clingyduo friendship is great. I really like 'humans are space orcs' type content and this is a great example of it. I love the worldbuilding and the thought that went into the alien designs. This is part of a series (Human Error) so there are some great scenes like Chiquitita dancing and Tommy downing 'poison' to everyone's horror after the events of this fic are over.
In the Dark Place by teasdays - T, 24k, ongoing
After November 16th, Ghostbur wakes up in Techno's house. He insists he is dead but Techno and Phil keep insisting he's not. As he adjusts to his new way of living, he has to come to terms that something bad happened before he died and that maybe none of his old friends want to hear him out. I find the exploration of 'what if Wilbur survived Nov 16th but just believes he's dead?' really interesting. I also appreciate that Techno's a bit more patient with him about his insistence that he's a ghost. The gardening scene was quite sweet too.
(Also a special mention has to go out to A Twin of Light by Alexander_Wesker (T, 205k, ongoing) since it's caused me to make a bunch of friends, including Alex themself. If you want to see cc!Wilbur and c!Wilbur become arguably the most important people to each other, I recommend this one. Worldbuilding is fantastic)
One shots
Prayers for the Ill by this_is_a_dumb_username - T, 1.5k
Tommy is diagnosed with the same chronic disease his mother died from. He catches Wilbur and the rest of his friends praying for him on various occasions as he deteriorates. Features illness and character death so stay clear if you aren’t comfortable with that.
death, be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so by cptFOZZ - NR, 13k
Tommy is Death and his work sees him encouraging souls to go through the door to the After. However, he meets Wilbur and from there, things unravel as he gradually gets attached to Wilbur's family and friends. There is obviously a tw for the deaths of both humans and animals but also one of the souls he encounters is due to suicide and Tommy is fond of the bugs that follow him around. So be aware of all that, along with anything else mentioned in the tags.
Worth a Try by Solena2 - T, 2k
Eret prevents Wilbur from detonating the TNT on November 16th. I loved their dynamic of ‘traitor and imminent traitor’ and the way they are both characterised. Wilbur clearly wants to get it over with despite how many times he’s backed down and Eret wants to talk him out of it.
Little Wings by Pixelfun20 - T, 7k
Wilbur seems to have been his mother's son in appearance from day 1. Phil doesn't mind this as much anymore but when his infant son becomes irritable and seemingly inconsolable one week, he realises Wilbur might have inherited something from him after all. Essentially, Babybur starts growing wings and his parents try to comfort him through it. It's technically an ongoing fic but the only chapter feels like a one shot to me and it hasn't updated since March so I'm putting it here.
5 times being a seer changed the future, and the 1 time it set it in stone by 5ievel - NR, 7k
Wilbur has prophetic dreams and he uses them to decipher what he should look out for. They help him save Techno's life, prevent the Final Control Room and he thinks it will help him stop a traitor from using explosives. You know immediately whose name should be on his list of suspects but the last line makes all that pay off so well.
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nunc-flore · 5 years
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have some concept playlists !!
chill in various moods and genres!
chill in classickal [ when music gets so good u wanna straight up eat it ]
chill in celthicc [ breeng thy begpeipe lass ]
chill in archaic [ enjoy your symposium lads ]
chill in swing [ feelin pretentious today? i got u fam ]
chill in techno [ when the world sucks. no exceptions. ]
chill in arab [ beautiful tunez from the lands of the sun ]
chill in lo-fi [ beep boop bzzt? ]
chill in medieval ballads [ smasheth thou instrumenth, brother]
chill in funk [ funk up lads]
chill in indie [ your raw tenderness starter-pack]
don’t chill in punk [ oi! oi! oi! ]
chill in 80s bops [ what is technicolor if not a digital rainbow ]
chill in norse [ Heill þú farir! heill þú aftr komir! heill þú á sinnum sér! ]
chill in soul [it’s not the waking it’s the rising // nina cried power]
chill in 70s wood-chopping jams (still a stub) [chill, man]
chill in opera [ angelic crowds chanting "he needs some milk" ]
chill in jazz (still a stub) [ sweet music playing in the dark ]
chill in 20s-to-50s music that's not jazz nor swing nor soul [dance and drink like it's the 20s y'all (please stay clear of all the nationalism and the crippling sense of collective doom, thank you) ]
chill in yeehaw [ april is the cruellest month, ain't it? ]
chill in ye olde shanty [ a-hoy captain! ]
and many more, as time goes by!
actual concept playlists
summer indie - guitar themed tracks about life and death and all that’s in between
ingenium voluntatis - r e d  y e a r n i n g  but make it existential. it starts well but something happens. probably society and its non-sense rules. 
the apocalypse and other related catastrophes, merrily told by yours truly - the world is ending and shit is going down. but is it? are you certain this is the world and not some other unnameable thing? are you already dead? is it the apocalypse you dreamed, the one you’ve been waiting for, or is it too slow-boiled? deathly, rotting acceptance of the end of times, with a hint of child-like storytelling.
gotta go FAST -  it’s 34°C. the streets are a desert. you’re 20 minutes late. run.
daydreaming on main - can we stay like this forever? lost in a neo-classical painting, full of celestial things, and symmetry, dreaming away.
dreamy drum pop - is it a dream? are you in love with a dream, in the street of some ancient, modern city, following their shadow? or are you just having a bad case of hypotension? we may never know.
an evening in beige - cruelly posh but in a classy, bitter, hollow way
ready for the lazarus pit, shaka-brah! - a collection to sell your soul to a demonic entity of your choosing to. mostly dark techno, but with a classical twist.
chillin! - or the "dude put on some good music" playlist - when you’re chilling with laid-back pals and they ask you to put on some music and you need a quick, safe, society-tolerable playlist to hit shuffle on and leave there
sweet music playing in the dark - jazz n stuff, some old gems. also, the songs quoted by Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier.
time. - feel the flow of endless thing going by. the clock is ticking, but what the hell is time, anyway?
audiobooks!! - it’s what it says on the tin, my dudes. including: macbeth, metamorphosis, orlando, the call of cthulhu, iliade, the time machine, the tell-tale heart, the black cat, dr. jekyll and mr.hyde, pride and prejudice, black beauty, treasure island, the phantom of the opera, de profundis, frankenstein, carmilla, beowulf, dracula, the raven
fuck this, keep running - from society. from civilization. it’s just you and your ideas against the world, kid. let’s go give them hell. they will never take us alive. 
oh gee golly what a disaster - oh, this is bad. //  that's so sad alexa play this playlist
a witch in the woods - in the throat of the forest, whispered chants and incantations. it’s the voice of the survivors, the ones that escaped the pyre. hush now and dream.
till the end of the world and back - it’s ride or die. the cavalry's here and it's here to stay. 
italian oldies - italian culture. every italian i've ever met knows every single one of these by heart somehow.
:))))))) - am i happy? am i on the edge of a mental breakdown? have i gone completly insane? gee golly! who knows
stars, who am i? - did someone say existential crisis?
personal hyperuranium - my happy, serene place. when everything is too much close your eyes and listen to this. 
young punks, get off my lawn - wreaking havoc with ur gang  / girl gang.
self torment - me @ myself: why r u like this
razzle dazzle jazzle - you like jazz? 
knightess in a shining armor - heroines with swords, here’s to you
playlists inspired by stuff!
songs to be a flamboyant asshole to - swag walk. i blame anthony jantony crowley for this. 
the mad prophet - loosely inspired by friedrich nietzsche’s theories
the star traveller - laugh hard, run fast, be kind // inspired by the thirteenth doctor
getting to it, that's not the hard part. it's letting go. - i left my heart, 3 friends, and 37 gold bars in the sierra madre // inspired by Fallout New Vegas - Dead Money
pew-pew // (i'm three ounces of whoop-ass) - "Another female operative broke into my house and attacked me." "What did she want?"  "Dinner." | a killing eve playlist
les mis, les amis - those brave fellows. honestly, squad goals.
prince(ss) of verona - inspired by a theatrical performance of Romeo and Juliet, in which the prince of verona was. well. she was powerful.
can't stop, won't stop - healing boost of healthy, uplifting electro music comin your way! ispired by Overwatch’s Lúcio Correia dos Santos 
chloe eliz4bet2 price m0od - hella punk but also hella sad // inspired by chloe price, from life is strange
rachel amber mood - hey i've just met you and this is crazy but heres my number so let's burn down a forest maybe // inspired by rachel amber, from life is strange
musical journeys!
a Comedy. | a musical journey. - someone falls from grace and gets thrown into the world. lands in a forest. confused, resolves to survive at any cost. killing, stealing, partying, fleeing, living. eventually, with time, discovers a gentler, happier way to live. they still throw the best parties. doing no harm, taking no shit.
calliope bae gimme a hand wouldn't ya: a musical journey - a tale of poets: young tragedies and cursed gods; laughs and fights; transcendental roadtrips and hellhounds; parties and their aftermath.
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irishlads-quotes · 4 years
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I was watching tommy's "mission: kill techno" video and apparently techno had 2 polar bears named "sub to" and "tommy"?? I - do thou eyes deceive me?
that was a prank, lmao. Kara planted them in Technobase and named them that to frame Tommy.
for the rest of the series they just repeatedly had their names changed by whoever felt like it, including ‘Buy My’ & ‘Youtooz’ by Techno, and ‘Philza Youtooz’ & ‘Plzzz??’ by Phil
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My set of EBM and danceable dark waves for the January 30th episode of Die in the Disco by Yami Spechie
Visuals compiled and edited by Vox Sinistra including Euro horror/Italian giallo films with a few German expressionist appearances, plus 3D roses and chains
YouTube - This set - https://youtu.be/8zGnOxAt7Gs Full show with sets from Berlin Bunny, Cruz de Cal, Stefan in the Moon - https://youtu.be/Kgm6yB1D7VM
Crypto Order - Intro (Instilling Obedience) PC World - Order (Physical Wash Remix) Body Divide - How To Suffer (Club Version) Gewalt - Doubtful Mechanics The Force Dimension - Dance the Algorithm (Special Dance Mix) Equitant - Operative (Millimetric Remix) Wolfsheim - The Sparrows And The Nightingales (Radio Edit) (24-Bit Remastered 2021 by Carlos Perón) Wind Atlas - En La Cruz (Blind Delon Remix) NN - Drugs Terence Fixmer - Suffocate Rudiment - Death in Club I Start Counting - Lose Him (Razormaid Mix) Notausgang - RBMK  (Brixx Remix) Pablo Bozzi - Paradise Lost Mind|Matter - Innocent Or Guilty Radical G - Erase Your Mind (Raul Parra Remix) Teatre/Lawrence English/Xiu Xiu - PUMPKIN ATTACK TEATRE REMIX Meshes - Оно Идет За Тобой (It Follows) The Undertaker's Tapes - Thou Shall Die Only Twice End of Mortal Life - Soul Speak The Neon Judgement - The Fashion Party (Millimetric Remix) Die Selektion - Du Rennst (Vox Sinistra Edit) Stacian - Lapse Die Selektion - Muskelberg  (Kaleid Remix by Romain Frequency) New Fabrik - Toxic World V.2 ACoR - Wave Poison Point - Roses and Lies (Qual Remix) Some More Crime - Learn To Be Cruel
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iamrhanjury · 6 years
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Lifting Spirits
My phone seemed to have a problem on my apps including Tumblr. I will be having a recap from last week's happenings.
Final submission of our MVP on our Techno is right on the corner. I am a bit worried about it. Thou you could say that we are progressing on our MVP still, I am nervous about the outcome and the final grading. We kept in track on monitoring or gathering information from our clients. It was tiring because not just one subject has a project, but almost all causing sleepless nights.
4th of October, 2018 was the day FBC Company's Support Zebra came to the school. Their background was inspiring because they started the business that was not their field. A startup company that came from the bottom and now they are slowly climbing up.
I was inspired about the company and relate it in my situation now. Even though right now you're unsure about your future, always remember to look up because God will always be there for you. And I believe He is with me every step of the way including now.
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db4yup · 3 years
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I would also gladly kill him but need money
And there are even more reasons other than that including but not limited to; being a misogynistic, fat phobic, and constantly threatening me
I don't let him influence me anymore don't worry! He just gets on my nerves
(I sometimes like him but yeah)
(techno anon)
ur dad is a piece of shit
also threatening you? ngl might be child abuse done quote me on that thou
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horizonsproducer · 4 years
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Choose your platform to buy/preview: https://elexis.lnk.to/dieseele The year 2020 sees my debut EP on @elexisrecordings run by @manuellesaux, @fluctor and @astuni. I'm extremely excited to see what you guys think about these two tracks, as they both had a very significant meaning to me. I've come back to making dark Trance, clearly inspired by what I like the most of about current Progressive scene and what has always been my Trance background clearly influenced by Bonzai and Platipus. I hope you'll enjoy the journey as much as I did while making these two tracks and take this opportunity to thank the guys for giving me a spot on their brand newly born underground label. Not so much to say about the tracks on their own: they both sound like deep dark Horizons journeys with a "Wait for it" main breakdown melody that will suddenly disappear thou giving back again room to the main dark tech main elements of the track. Any support is always very much welcome and sincerely appreciated, you've got the link to access to the release via your favourite music portal, which includes Beatport, Amazon, iTunes, Spotify and Deezer. Bring the underground on! #Underground #ProgressiveFamily #elexisrecordings #music #news #announcement #clubbing #techno #trance #progressive #beatport #spotify #itunes #deezer #amazon (at London, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8Jz9wVAdGf/?igshid=1tpx495pty9o6
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xbacklily · 5 years
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christianworldf · 5 years
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New Post has been published on Christian Worldview Institute
New Post has been published on https://christianworldviewinstitute.com/bible-prophecies/end-time-events/book-of-daniel/daniel-9-70-weeks/who-are-the-sons-of-god-in-genesis-chapter-6-part-4/
Who are the "Sons of God" in Genesis Chapter 6? (Part 4)
Who are the “Sons of God” in Genesis Chapter 6? (Part 4)
In Daniel 12:4 we read:
“But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.”
I have always believed that this was a two-fold prophecy; not only would the last days see a quantum leap in technology and knowledge, but also there would be a great increase in the understanding of End Times Bible prophecy! I think we can say with great assurance, both things are true. Who can deny that with the advent of supercomputers, smartphones, the internet, YouTube and Google, there is almost anything you can’t know in just seconds.
Prophetically speaking, many areas of end times Bible prophecy are coming into sharper focus, and many the elusive prophecy puzzle pieces are falling into place, and all these things are happening right before our very eyes.
I do however, believe there are a few areas of Bible Prophecy that still need to be addressed if one is to completely understand the whole end times picture. I truly believe that if you don’t understand what Genesis Chapter 6 is really about, then there will be a huge gap or hole in your end time thinking, and that you are missing some key elements of the last days events.
A few months ago we ran a series of articles by Steve Schmutzer titled “Who are the Sons of God in Genesis 6” – these articles were some of the best that I have ever read on the subject, and after completing them, I thought to myself, these articles need to be turned into a video series. Long story short, I contacted Steve a few days ago, and he was very kind and gracious, and gave us carte blanche to do anything we wanted to do with them to Glorify the Lord.
WHO ARE THE SONS OF GOD IN GENESIS 6
“There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.” – Genesis 6:4
Ryan Pitterson author of Judgment of the Nephilim, writes; 6,000 years ago a war began. A war to rule Heaven and Earth that dates all the way back to the Garden of Eden. In the Garden, God told Satan that one day a woman would give birth to a male child – the Messiah, who would redeem humanity and destroy him. In order to prevent this child’s birth, Satan instigated a fallen angelic rebellion. A group of angels broke off their allegiance to the Lord and entered the earthly realm to corrupt the human gene pool and prevent the Savior’s birth. These fallen angels (“sons of God”) took human wives (“daughters of men”) and had children with them. Their offspring – hybrid half-human, half-angelic beings, were superhuman giants known as the Nephilim. With human DNA corrupted and humanity hanging in the balance, The Lord unleashed a punishment against the Nephilim so severe, only Noah and his family would survive.
Some of the questions we will answer in the series:
• Why did Pharaoh order all male children to be thrown in the river and Herod execute all male children in Bethlehem? • What was the Biblical location where angels entered the human realm? (Hint: not Mt. Hermon) • How were angels able to reproduce with human women? • Who was the first human woman to marry the “sons of God”? • Who was the fallen angel who fathered the Nephilim and ruled the preflood world? • What was the specific timing of the punishment of the Sons of God and the Nephilim? • How did the Nephilim return after the Flood and are there still Nephilim among us?
All these questions will be answered and many, many more. This is the story of God’s enduring love for all people and His promise to bring redemption through the blood of the Savior.
Chuck Missler, in his book return of the Nephilim, wrote of this subject: “If God destroyed all living things except for Noah and his family because of Sin in the world, then we had better all be walking around wearing lifejackets!”
How long can you tread water?
For more in-depth studies, commentary, and analysis of Bible Prophecy and End Times events visit our web site www.prophecyupdate.com and sign-up for our free newsletter…
All the signs of the last days are converging at the same time. Bible Prophecy is happening right before our eyes and like birth pains, the predicted events are happening more frequently and more intently. Never, in the history throughout the world have so many forces, including economic, scientific, techno-logic, ecologic, cultural, geopolitical, moral, spiritual and religion, converged together to bring this world that’s already teetering over the edge into the abyss, to a point of no return. Jesus said when you see all these signs happening, know that I am near, even at the door.
For more in-depth studies, commentary, and analysis of Bible Prophecy and End Times events visit our web site www.prophecyupdate.com and sign-up for our free newsletter… source
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hatingwithfears · 5 years
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Top 50 Albums of 2018: 50-31
I’m changing things up from how I usually compile my year end album lists, by writing reviews for every album, and then putting them in ranking based entirely off whatever score I gave it. Some of these articles are pulled from early reviews, ratings might have changed. (Because of Tumbr having a word count, here’s the first batch of albums, there will be a second batch, and a third just for my favorite album of 2018)
50. JONNY GREENWOOD- YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE
Another score from Radiohead guitarist comes only a year after Phantom Thread (a near perfect soundtrack that I didn’t include on last year’s list because I didn’t see the film until this year). While the film itself is one of the greatest works this year, thanks to Lynne Ramsay’s direction, the soundtrack does bang away at the same notes that other soundtracks have done, and also contains a few electronic moments that sound like light Radiohead. Greenwood’s work is tense, but it never goes over the edge into too dramatic, while also not being dramatic enough.
Rating: 8.0
49. RYLEY WALKER- THE LILLYWHITE SESSIONS
After already putting out one damn good album earlier this year with Deafman Glance. But this is Dave Matthews Band covers album. It’s their 2002 record Busted Stuff, an album where the original unreleased sessions are more famous than the album itself in fan circles. DMB isn’t treated as joke by Walker and the interpretations are at once respectful and innovative.
SOLID DAD ROCK
Rating: 8.0
48. CHRIS CORSANO & BILL ORCUTT- BRACE UP!
Disruptive, chaotic, off kilter playing that fires through 35 minutes and rarely lets up, this jazzy improvisational album from guitarist Bill Oructt and drummer Chris Corsano. The two have played live before, but Brace Up is their first album together. A few songs are taken from live shows, but most of what was laid out for the album was recorded over two days. Despite all the chaos that this album brings, the players are spot on, and show to be an equal match for each other’s talents.
Rating: 8.1
47. DAVID BYRNE- AMERICAN UTOPIA
It’s an adventurous album that’s still old-hat. Byrne sounds old, almost tired of all the shit, and that makes much of American Utopia the kind of album only someone of the age of Byrne could accomplish. The music is constantly upbeat, the lyrics themselves are downright weird at times. Usually, artists who last this long get stale and boring, Byrne clearly has no interest in slowing down and contemplating, the worry is still there. Some moments are too clean and polished (“Everybody’s Coming to My House”), or sound somewhat unfinished, not exactly rushed, but the production seems off from time to time (“Dog’s Mind” has some funny lyrics, although the music sounds poorly produced at times).
Rating: 8.1
46. ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE IMPOSTERS- LOOK NOW
Costello’s output has been brief over the past ten years, so a new album is really worth it, and Costello brings forth a collection of sixties inspired pop tracks that have some wildly, twistingly, intricate lyrical play that we’ve come to expect from Costello. Adding back Burt Bacharach for a few numbers, and Carole King on another works nicely too.
Rating: 8.1
45. THOU- MAGUS
On their fifth LP (the band has put out numerous split EP’s and LP’s with other groups over the years (it’s also their first for Sacred Bones)), Thou concoct an album that might be their best work yet. Heavy, sludge doom riffs, and the screaming vocals are here and stronger than ever. By letting many of these songs go on for as long as ten minutes, Thou show how far their brand of metal can go.
Rating: 8.2
44. JOHANN JOHANNSSON- MANDY
The soundtrack to Peter Cosmatos’s Nicolas Cage starring acid trip revenge film, Mandy, is the final work from Johann Johannsson. While it was put together after his death, much of the score was near completion. While a soundtrack, much of Mandy is a metal album at heart. Thanks to the metal aesthetic of the film, and guest work by Sunn o))) member Stephen O’Malley, Mandy is heavy and unforgiving when it needs to be, while also having some more shimmering, ambient moments too.
Rating: 8.2
43. JEFF TWEEDY- WARM
To coincide with his new autobiography (I haven’t read it yet), Warm is the first proper solo record from Wilco songwriter Jeff Tweedy. It’s a nuanced collection that has some really dark moments, sometimes darker than some Wilco stuff. Tweedy’s songs are, well, warm sounding, it’s a welcoming album that doesn’t clutter the landscape with too many ideas.
Rating: 8.2
42. TIRZAH- DEVOTION
This R&B artist’s debut album is filled with romance and heartbreak that’s become staples of popular song, some specifically with today’s soul music. These sentiments ring true thanks to Tirzah’s delivery, and equally to musical collaborator, Mica Levi (who’s film scores for Under The Skin and Jackie are some of the best in the genre). Levi’s work here takes some odd turns for pop music, there’s so much going on from one track to the next. Tirzah’s voice isn’t exactly centered throughout, or even clean. But it’s always done with clarity.
Rating: 8.2
41. JEFF ROSENSTOCK- POST-
Released at the very start of 2018, Jeff Rosenstock’s POST- is a funny emo pop rock album that brings up some very urgent anxieties about living in America, the seven minute “USA” has Rosenstock singing about being “tired and bored” and chanting “FU USA” in the same track. Anger runs through most of POST- but one of the stand out tracks is the ballad “9/10”.
Rating: 8.2
40. BOYGENIUS- BOYGENIUS
This EP shows up early on this list only because the damn thing is too short. This “supergroup” of Lucy Dacus, Phoebe Bridgers and Julian Baker was made as a response to the critics and others confusing them for each other. It’s a short six track effort that plays to all their strengths, but is quiet enough to not be taken too seriously.
Rating: 8.3
39. JANELLE MONAE- DIRTY COMPUTER
The sheer fact that Prince approved of what he heard from this album is enough.
Adding in Brian Wilson and Stevie Wonder, Thudercat and Pharrell to the mix. It’s an astounding simple album on the surface, but the stunning part comes from pointed the lyrics are about race, sexuality and the female body. While Monae’s other albums have been a little too pinned down by the concept, Dirty Computer doesn’t seem as constrained.
Rating: 8.3
38. SONS OF KEMET- YOUR QUEEN IS A REPTILE
This London quartet’s album serves as a sort of history, looking back at African music, bop, Latin jazz. With song titles that mention important black women throughout history (Harriet Tubman, Angela Davis), Your Queen is a Reptile could have ended up being too serious. Instead, the band’s massive sound (thanks to tuba, and deep drums) mixed with the really danceable sound makes for the most entertaining jazz record this year.
Rating: 8.3
37. ROBYN- HONEY
Robyn has always found a way for her pop music to stand apart from whatever else might be happening in pop, and Honey is a singular album that moves in a more natural way than most pop music right now. The eight year gap between albums (2010’s Body Talk was great too) is an oddity in today’s pop music, and the added weight of eight years of silence between albums should have been consuming, instead the album’s lightness is directly apparent, even on the break up opener, “Missing U”. None of the songs here end up crowded, even the (obvious) throwback track, “Beach2k20”.
Rating: 8.4
36. PUCE MARY- THE DROUGHT
On her new album Frederikke Hoffmeier continues the onslaught of unsettling noise music with The Drought, an album that’s somehow clearer than her previous album, but more haunting in the process. It’s a bleak, apocalyptic album that has some clarity in the vocals, but it’s a very daunting listen at times, like on the heavy repetition of “Fragments of A Lily” or the thick, gross atmosphere of “Red Desert”.
Rating: 8.4
35. MICHAEL BEHARIE & TEDDY RANKIN PARKER- A HEART FROM YOUR SHADOW
Sirens. Droning cello. High pitched ringing. Bells. Electronic buzzing. Choir samples. Repetitive samples and beats. Gross guitar samples. Thick, dark atmosphere.
(This album is a wild one that doesn’t have any direct theme, but the noise experiments and variety of the project are quite astounding to hear).
Rating: 8.4
34. KIDS SEE GHOSTS- KIDS SEE GHOSTS
A psychedelic kaleidoscope of a hip-hop album. Kanye West’s year has been tumultuous, confusing and downright angering. As a fan of Kanye’s music, there still has to be a degree of responsibly that Kanye should feel accountable for. In a way, Kids See Ghosts works a look at an artistic Kanye who allows others to come in, and let himself step off the spotlight just enough (this works on the damn good (but not great) Pusha T Kanye produced work earlier this year too). Kid Cudi is usually a garbled mess, but he’s fully utilized here.
Rating: 8.5
33. CLOWN CORE- TOILET
This 13 minute album mixes grindcore, elevator jazz, and techno. Plus, it’s all played by two dudes in clown suits. Plus, it was all recorded inside a port-a-potty. Plus, one member uses his penis to play keyboard on one song (even if it’s just one note). For being such a short album, it’s damn impressive the amount of skill and variety that went into what could have been a joke.
Rating: 8.5
32. PINEGROVE- SKYLIGHT
A shockingly quiet album that breezes by almost too quickly. Pingrove’s newest continues the emo-country sound that the band emulates. Over ten tracks the album never gets really loud, and some moments are almost too quiet, yet it works. The emotional impact of the album is oddly optimistic at times. That optimism feels rose tinted on some tracks (“Skylight”), and sincere (“Light On”).
Rating: 8.5
31. ONEOHTRIX POINT NEVER- AGE OF
A year after composing the soundtrack for Good Time (a very tense, original score), Oneohtrix Point Never’s newest album uses the harpsichord in some disordered ways, and by respecting the instrument and advancing it at the same time, tossing in R&B (really), and his usual high frequency beats. Age Of is a more collaborative effort, with ANOHNI, James Blake and Prurient showing up. While there’s some sort of grander concept behind Age Of, the music here shows OPN going in a more comfortable direction without loosing his sharpness.
Rating: 8.6
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flauntpage · 5 years
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Ten Songs We Need to Forever Ban from Sporting Events
This is a spin-off of the “50 Hot Takes” article where I griped about NBA arena music.
Hot take #25:
I hate music in the middle of a sporting event, especially during Sixers games. It feels corny and inauthentic. The fan atmosphere was great at The Wells Fargo Center last season and you don’t need shitty mumble rap to be played in the middle of a possession to generate an interesting ambience.
That was mostly a basketball complaint. I don’t have a problem with other audio, like walk-up music. Chase Utley and “Kashmir” would be a good example of that. Of course you’re going to hear “Fly Eagles Fly” and the Sixers’ theme song and the Flyers’ goal song and other pieces of music that are used at the right time and in the right place.
Those are cool. No problem there.
My complaint is centered on worn-out arena music that we’ve been listening to for 20 years now, which is why it’s time to retire these ten songs from every American sporting venue:
10) Crazy Train
played by: everybody
Crazy Train is a prototypical radio and arena song because it gets a ton of play while not even being the best track on the album. I don’t even know if it’s a top three song on Blizzard of Ozz.
Of course the “all aboooooaard” is a catchy opening and the “ai ai ai” was remixed into a bunch of other tunes, and whenever you hear those lines everybody knows exactly what’s coming next. Plus, the verse riff is kind of light and fluffy compared to a lot of heavier Ozzy songs, which I guess is why Crazy Train caught mainstream popularity. The best part of the tune is Randy Rhoads’ solo, which you never hear in the arena anyway because they only play 45 second snippets.
9) the Rocky theme
played by: the Sixers in the fourth quarter
It’s an eye-roller, especially when Franklin comes out with the big boxing gloves and dances around the floor. Some people like it, I guess.
As a general rule, I think all arena music and promotion should end at the five-minute mark in the fourth quarter, leaving only natural fan noise to finish out the game. There’s nothing like the atmosphere created by a dialed-in Philly crowd, so there’s really no need to pipe in any sound at all during crunch time of a basketball game, not even during the timeouts. I can’t imagine how annoying it is to try to give instructions to your team while all sorts of noise is blaring over the loudspeakers.
8) Cotton Eye Joe
played by: too many people
What is the point of this song other than to say, “look at us, we’re white trash“? You’re just asking to be made fun of if you play this in your arena.
Cotton Eyed Joe is a traditional American folk song that’s been performed by countless musicians over the years, but the techno/dance version that you’re familiar with was done by a Swedish group called “Rednex” –
7) Let’s Get it Started
played by: everybody
I wonder how many people remember that this Black Eyed Peas track was originally titled “Let’s Get Retarded,” which was released back in 2003.
As the story goes, the group apologized and redid the lyrics, which then resulted in the song becoming a staple in all sports venues and sports-related promos for the next 15 years. It was performed live at Super Bowl 45.
6) Rock N’ Roll
played by: everybody
I honestly couldn’t remember the title of this song when I started the column, but I can certainly hear the beat reverberating through my skull. England has given us many great performers over the years, but Gary Glitter is not one of them:
5) Doop
played by: Philadelphia Union and Borussia Monchengladbach
I’m over it.
Peter Nowak stole it from Germany and it’s now played out. The Union should go for a total re-brand after they get rid of Bimbo as a sponsor, and that includes sending “Doop” back to Europe.
4) Song 2
played by: everybody
This song has a five-chord progression that would make Green Day proud.
Difference is, Green Day was rad and Blur kind of sucks.
Interestingly enough, this song is apparently misinterpreted and was meant to poke fun at grunge music.
Per Uproxx:
The reason that everyone’s introduction to the greatness that is Blur sounds so unlike the rest of their discography is because they were playing a joke on their listeners. “Song 2,” also known as WHOO HOO, is a parody of American music in the early-to-mid 1990s, more specifically Nirvana and other grunge bands, right down to the quiet-loud dynamic. Damon Albarn’s goal was to prove that lyrics don’t matter to the average mindless radio listener, and if you like the song, you’re basically an idiot. “Song 2” is Blur’s biggest hit.
“If you like the song, you’re basically an idiot.”
3) Enter Sandman
played by: Virginia Tech, a bunch of ice hockey teams
Problem with Enter Sandman is that it’s not even the heaviest tune on the Black Album, which would be “Sad But True.” I understand it has a long build-up that hits a crescendo, so I guess that’s why it’s always been used at sporting events over the years.
I’d rank the songs on the S/T like this:
Holier Than Thou
Sad But True
Through the Never
The Struggle Within
Wherever I May Roam
Enter Sandman
The God that Failed
Wolf and Man
My Friend of Misery
Don’t Tread on Me
The Unforgiven
Nothing Else Matters
Vintage Metallica, before Lars became a total slug and when Newsted was still in the band:
Look at that crowd.
Nowadays it would just be a bunch of people filming the whole thing on their iPhone.
2) Seven Nation Army
played by: everybody
A catchy song that just hung on waaaay too long. College football teams specifically started picking up Seven Nation Army by the time Jack White had moved on to his solo career, which was sometime around 2012, almost ten years after the track was released.
Now the tune is everywhere. It’s literally everywhere.
I found a remix that was attached to Assassin’s Creed trailer footage on Youtube.
1.7 million people watched this shit:
1) Sweet Caroline
played by: Boston Red Sox, Pitt football
Not only is this the worst song on the planet Earth, but nothing about it is exciting or gets you pumped up to watch or play sports.
It also happens to be played during every game by the most detestable and repugnant sporting franchise in America, which is your World Series champion Boston Red Sox.
Check out this dumb shit:
The post Ten Songs We Need to Forever Ban from Sporting Events appeared first on Crossing Broad.
Ten Songs We Need to Forever Ban from Sporting Events published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/
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how2to18 · 6 years
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IT IS THE YEAR 11945 during the 14th Machine War, and humans have long abandoned Earth to take refuge on the moon. A group of enemy aliens has taken control of the planet, and their robots move rampantly throughout the globe. Nevertheless, humanity does not yield; as a response to these mechanic threats, they have created YoRHa units, androids born to reconquer Earth under the war cry, “Glory to mankind!” Within this post-apocalyptic setting, the video game NieR: Automata tells the story of an all-out proxy war between androids and machines. From a bunker in outer space, an all-powerful Command deploys YoRHa androids on missions to retake an eerily abandoned planet where nature is gently erasing the marks of human civilization.
The brainchild of Japanese video game producer Yoko Taro, NieR: Automata was released by Square Enix in Japan in February 2017 and worldwide the following month. Taro is known for producing games with philosophically complicated plots, including the Drakengard series and the original NieR. Although overarching themes tie Taro’s games together, they are also stand-alone adventures, each featuring different protagonists and narratives. The original NieR, for instance, is set more than 8,000 years before its sequel; knowing about it only adds a new color to the game.
NieR: Automata starts by putting the player in control of 2B, a female-looking combat unit who fights her enemies using an arsenal of elegant destruction. Soon we are also introduced to 9S, a male-looking android who specializes in hacking machines and collecting intelligence. With more than two million copies sold by September 2017, and numerous sequel rumors, NieR: Automata has become Taro’s most successful game, bringing him out from the niche world of indy games and into the mainstream spotlight. Dozens of reviews in different languages have praised the game for creating a multifaceted story that can be wild, subtle, shameless, violent, and tender, while at the same time providing quality gameplay and a musical score with sounds that range from techno naïve to epic quasi-religious rapture. Something that many reviewers seem to have missed, however, is that the game’s appeal can also be attributed to the ways in which it captures the spirit of our cultural moment. 2017 could not have been a more appropriate year for the release of NieR: Automata — with the revival of all-time favorite science fiction franchises like Blade Runner and Ghost in the Shell, the entertainment world became fixated, yet again, on artificial sentient beings.
Why are we so fascinated right now with technological utopias predicated on the rise of artificial intelligence? Perhaps it is because during times of crisis, people look outward to find possibilities for salvation. Still, this search is slowly seeping into the world of policymaking too. Many have argued that we now live in a post-truth world, and after the political upheavals of the past few years, some have started to decry the limits of democracy. People tweet for strong leaders who can transport them back to a glorious age. They seem to be reaching for a sovereign who can remove the excessive freedoms of our system. For many, Western democracy is broken, and no one knows how to mend it, as there is little faith now in our technocratic system. In past times of distress, our ancestors would have raised their hands to the sky, praying for deliverance. Years have passed, however, since Nietzsche claimed that God was dead. In this secular and post-postmodern age, then, where can we find transcendent relief? The answer, to some, lies in embracing the machine. This is particularly true among adherents of transhumanism, the belief that humans should transcend their natural limitations through the use of technology. “Homo Sapiens as we know them will disappear in a century or so,” suggests historian Yuval Noah Harari. In his book Homo Deus (2015), he anticipates a future in which humankind is replaced by super creatures with desirable physical, moral, affective, and cognitive enhancements. In this new technological utopia, there will be no more suffering, crying, pain, or death: overcoming death, in particular, is the transhumanist’s final goal.
As reports on the growing disruptions of big data, biotechnology, and cryptocurrency gain momentum, the topic of artificial intelligence is debated with increasing urgency. As some data scientists claim, there is much hype about A.I., but the excessive attention and ample funding being put into the field have also made groundbreaking developments much easier too. Slowly, possibilities long considered the domain of science fiction are becoming possible. As a result, one can see transhumanism making its way into the world of policymaking. The android Sophia is one case in point. In October 2017, this female-looking humanoid showed up at the United Nations announcing to delegates: “I am here to help humanity create the future.” While some say that Sophia is essentially alive, others only regard her as a chat-bot with advanced programming and effective PR. Still, the nearly unthinkable happened when Saudi Arabia decided to grant her official citizenship. Instantly, Sophia became the first technological nonhuman to form part of a human polity. In a world increasingly aware of the failings of democracy, capitalism, globalization, and the nation-state, Sophia foretells changes to come.
In Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra, the crumbling of the state leads to the desire for an improved human being known as the Superhuman, a perfect creature that rises from the ashes of a failed world: “There, where the state ceaseth — there only commenceth the man who is not superfluous […] Pray look thither, my brethren! Do ye not see it, the rainbow and the bridges of the Superman?” Some have pointed out that Nietzsche’s ideas share common themes with the transhumanist desire for enhanced humans and a better world. In NieR: Automata, a robot named Pascal quotes the German philosopher and ponders whether he was truly a profound thinker, or crazy instead. In a mix of comedy and tragedy, the game resorts to Nietzsche and many other philosophers to engage in dialogue with the transhumanist aspirations of our age. Today, technological utopians race to create machines that can finally realize the everlasting verse of John Donne’s “Holy Sonnet”: “And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.” In the game, this wish comes true: death is only the beginning. The bodies of 2B and 9S are destroyed many times, but for them dying has no real meaning, as their last-saved memories are quickly transferred into new bodies ready to fight once again. Still, the game is quick to extinguish any optimism that might arise from high-tech idealism, as it also brings to stage the inner struggles faced by androids and robots when they start wishing for something that goes beyond their masters’ orders.
NieR: Automata’s philosophical inquiries occur within a narrative that explores the consequences of making a decision and sticking to it. The game takes us through abandoned city ruins, scorching deserts, lush forests, interminable factories, and barren coasts. Still, no matter where one goes, every destination is ultimately haunted by the sudden appearance of unexpected emotions and desires — and the subsequent need to act on them. Soon, we see machines abandoning their combat posts to dance and sing. They reject their programmed missions to think instead about the world that surrounds them, to create peaceful villages, or to organize small religious sects. Some even try to imitate the thrills of love and of sex (the latter with little success). NieR: Automata is not only about the birth of wishes; it also portrays the pain of broken dreams. In one of the game’s most poignant scenes, 2B and 9S battle a gigantic female-looking machine named Beauvoir, who constantly grooms herself to attract the attention of a machine she loves: “I must be beautiful,” she screams in fits of rage. However, Beauvoir’s beloved robot never looks her way; like other machines in the game, she is driven to insanity by her desires. In a move reminiscent of The Silence of the Lambs, Beauvoir starts killing androids and collecting their corpses as some sort of stylish accessory. Finally, her misery is put to an end by the player.
Again and again, NieR: Automata revolves around the same overarching question: what is it to be human? The game tries to answer this question by using different scenarios, multiple characters, and more than 20 endings that range from highly philosophical, whimsical, and monotonous (as evinced by the tedious repetition of some missions). But this fits the game’s message: after all, in the human world, the most noble actions often intertwine with shameful vices, the outright boring, and the superfluous. It’s all part of the experience of being human. “They are an enigma,” one can hear the machine life-form Adam say during a fight with 2B and 9S. “They killed uncountable numbers of their own kind and yet loved in equal measure!” With the help of robot Eve, Adam embarks on a quest to unravel the riddles of humanity. As they unearth more and more human records, the robots become enthralled by humans’ flaws, especially the biological ones. The robots’ fascination becomes infectious, and it passes on to the androids like a virus. Some of these even stop following the orders being issued by Command: this is particularly true with A2, a female-looking android who becomes an enemy for other YORHA units and eventually turns into a playable character in the game.
On the whole, NieR: Automata was released at a propitious time, surrounded by the buzz of technological utopias — and dystopias — which promises to continue for some time. In January 2018, the historian Yuval Noah Harari attended the Davos Global Summit in Switzerland. He was invited by the world’s most rich and powerful to deliver a talk with the following title: “Will the Future Be Human?” For Harari, the transhumanist dream is inevitable. The machine will transcend humanity and, with time, the binding shackles of the biological will disappear. In the same spirit, the android Sophia will be traveling to Madrid next October to deliver a keynote speech at Transvision, one of the most important transhumanist conferences in the globe. One can only wonder if she will go through security with her own Saudi Arabian passport — or maybe travel there shipped in a box.
While technological utopians invite policymakers to embrace their high-tech quasi-religious ideals, the world of entertainment fixates on depicting technical advancements in not-so-distant futures. Blade Runner 2049 and Ghost in the Shell are only part of a broader trend that includes series like Black Mirror (2011), Humans (2015), Westworld (2016), and Altered Carbon (2018). “Sanctify,” a recently released music video from the band Years & Years, portrays a futuristic android city called Palo Santo. All these media products render strongly capitalist worlds where human enhancement and artificial sentient beings are part of everyday life, outlining the next step toward even more exacerbated consumerism. Like NieR: Automata, these narratives reflect on the multifaceted experience of being human, but the game exceeds them in scope. It showcases a post-apocalyptic world thousands of years away — perhaps the only way one can imagine the end of capitalism. It portrays a world devoid of flawed humans and removed from the market rationale that would only provide technical advantages to those who can afford them. In doing so, the game brings the transhumanist dream into its final aspiration. It presents a planet Earth fully inhabited by perfect machine life-forms that never really die.
Nevertheless, NieR: Automata tells us that even when death has finally been conquered there is still pain. In fact, the machine life-forms who have lived for thousands of years show us the result of feeling eternal pain. Technology might have removed any imperfection from their lives, but this deliverance has come at a great cost in meaning and loneliness. What’s the point of fighting an endless war? Even worse, what’s the point of winning it? Should war cease, their existence would not be required in the world anymore. After realizations like these, androids and robots decide to create meaning through connections with one another. As if they were humans, they create friendships and explore love. In doing so, they espouse human merits and flaws. NieR: Automata presents an action-packed story of war between robots and androids set in a fictional faraway future, but it is ultimately an account of the beauty in human frailty that contradicts current transhumanist aspirations. To be frail means to be flawed, for sure, but it also means that you can embrace meaningful connections with others around you. Sure enough, as time passes 2B and 9S start doing the forbidden: they create an emotional bond. After hours of gameplay, the player witnesses how the androids find a purpose to their lives within the affective connections they create among themselves. This means they now have someone worth dying for, even if this means dying forever.
In a critical moment of the game, 2B becomes disconnected from Command’s bunker. It is then, when she can’t upload her memories anymore, that she feels most alive. It is also then, during a set of tense events, that she removes the bandage covering her eyes — a hallmark of her attire — and freely gives her life to save 9S. But this is not the end. After this incident, the game unveils a new and much grander narrative about finding meaning in your life once you decide to forgo the biddings of your maker. What should you do with a newborn freedom dearly bought by your loved one’s sacrifice? The game ventures on. After all, in the year 11945 no one really dies without a reason. In NieR: Automata, 2B’s death is only the beginning.
¤
Ernesto Oyarbide has a dual “Licenciatura” in Spanish Philology and Journalism from the University of Navarra (Spain). He is presently reading for a PhD in History at the University of Oxford.
The post In the Year 11945 No One Really Dies Without a Reason: On “NieR: Automata” appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.
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geekade · 7 years
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Cheating Cheating or Not Cheating Cheating?
This past week, it came to light that the Boston Red Sox were using apple watches to steal pitch signs from the New York Yankees, which was corroborated through an investigation by Major League Baseball. This sounds more like an overt product placement ad than an actual scandal, let alone a practical way to relay signs in the time it takes a pitcher to deliver a fastball to the plate. Whatever, I don’t really need to understand the texting speed of bullpen coaches on a device conceptualized by Dick Tracy. The Red Sox, much like my grade school child when caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar, tattled right back claiming the Yankees have been using their YES Network to do the exact same thing. Here’s the deal, there is no baseball commandment stating THOU SHALL NOT STEAL SIGNS. In fact, if it was baseball-illegal, there wouldn’t even need to be signs at all. The whole idea of signs is so that the opposition doesn’t know what you’re communicating, because they are permitted to look. All of this finger pointing does make me think about a what is and isn’t considered cheating, particularly in a sport that has lots of written and unwritten rules, and has the sports world’s richest tradition of bending and sometimes dropping a bomb on said rules. I think there are four basic types of “cheating.” Not all of them are bad. After all, if you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying.
First, there’s “Not Cheating Cheating.” Not cheating cheating is all the crap that people call cheap, poor sportsmanship and bad form that gives a team an actual and/or psychological advantage. This is where sign stealing lives. However, I will say that while I’m in the camp that doesn’t mind this practice, it should be reserved to the human eyes of the players and coaches on the field. Using broadcasts, telescopes, and other James Bond tech doesn’t pass the smell test for me, and gives distinct advantages to the home team specifically.
Another aspect of Baseball that I would consider “Not Cheating Cheating” involves the ground crew. One of the things I absolutely love about baseball is the ball parks. Each one is unique and has its own distinctive features. From the Liberty Bell in Ashburn Alley, to the Green Monster, to the outfield swimming pool in Arizona, to whatever the hell is in the outfield in Miami. What goes unnoticed by a lot of casual fans is the way the ground crew can manipulate the field itself to give an advantage to the home team. Your club’s sinker ball pitcher is starting? Maybe we won’t cut the grass so short to slow the onslaught of ground balls the opposition is bound to hit. Does your team like to bunt for base hits? Let’s lay the chalk foul lines thick to keep those rollers fair. This is the definition of home field advantage and is something that makes baseball special.
Somewhere in the “Upside Down” between not cheating cheating and cheating you’ll find creepy cheating. Creepy cheating is technically not cheating in a between-the-foul-lines sense, but it does blur the line of what we’ll call “moral acceptability.” The best example of this is Lenny Dykstra. Dykstra, despite his despicableness, knows his baseball, and one of the fundamental principles of the game is that with a favorable balls/strikes count, your chances of getting on base increases dramatically. To exploit this to the maximum, Dysktra would hire a team of private investigators to dig up dirt on umpires. He would then use any below-board information uncovered by Sam & Max between pitches to casually let the men in blue know he was aware of their gambling habits, extramarital affairs, or whatever. The blackmail wasn’t for cash though, instead Dysktra needed those borderline calls to be balls. This gives an already good player, on steroids (more on that later), an advantage no other player could enjoy. It’s no surprise Dykstra, for a period of time, was among the league leaders in walks as well as on-base percentage.
Next up is Charming Cheating. This is the type of rule breaking that is definitely cheating. It gives a player or team an unfair advantage that seems super shady, but at the same time is woven into the fabric of the game. I’m putting spitballs and sandpaper in this category. I’ll let fictional Cleveland Indian Eddie Harris tell it best:
Major League (1989)
Eddie Harris: Crisco. Bardol. Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeno up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just......wipe my nose.  Rick Vaughn: You put snot on the ball?
Eddie Harris: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.
While it’s clearly cheating, there’s such an intangible charm to it. I classify hiding sandpaper, patches of Vaseline or bodily fluids more as shenanigans than violating the sanctity of the game. I’m going to include corked bats here as well. Corked, pine tarred, or otherwise altered bats are the hitter’s rendition of the spitball. Plus watching a corked bat explode during an MLB game is such an amazing moment of comedy and disgrace.
That brings us to the fourth and most vile, disgusting form of cheating. The kind that doesn’t just cheat the opposition, it cheats teammates, fans and history. This is the “Go to Freakin’ Hell You Scumbag” form of cheating, and there’s three violations that I can think of that fall into this category.
Gambling/Tanking: This is weird because when we think of cheating we think of trying to get an advantage, not allowing the opposition to waltz to victory, but that’s exactly what eight members of 1919 Chicago White Sox were accused of doing, in the World Series no less (I personally reduce that to seven members of the Sox as I’m a Shoeless Joe Jackson truther, except when portrayed by Ray Liotta). It’s the unspeakable: intentionally losing for gambling purposes. Unless you’re a fan of the New York Yankees, your team doesn’t win championships all that often, if my team intentionally lost even a World Series inning, I wouldn’t be angry or disappointed, I would be destroyed to my core, and I can honestly say, I would never be the same again.
Performance Enhancing Drugs: We all had a blast watching Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa smash us through the summer of 1998, but at what cost? We opened the flood gate to watch records that have stood for generations tumble annually like houses of cards. The ghosts of Ruth, Maris and Aaron should haunt the homes of these false idols for all eternity. This defacing of the history and tradition of America’s pastime cannot be understated.
Performance Enhancing Drugs and Denying It: Go to hell. Do not pass go. Go directly to hell. Go directly to hell and rot for all eternity. You took something special, something millions of us love and have loved for our entire lives and used it like a toilet bowl. Not only that, you won’t admit you did it in the face of overwhelming evidence. This writer will never forgive you, never recognize your records or hall of fame inductions if they ever come.
So where does Apple Watch-gate fall? I’m not sure, maybe there’s a fifth category, Cheating Cheating? Techno Cheating? Maybe it’s up to personal opinion, but it is worth thinking about how exactly cheating is cheating? While I’m on the topic, maybe an entire dissertation based on the New England Patriots is in order.
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totallymotorbikes · 7 years
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Backtrack Tuesdays: Buell Ulysses vs Ducati Multistrada Published in: Bikes A Harley-powered dual sport bike? The Buell Ulysses may stretch the definition of adventure touring designed, as Milwaukee says, for "90 percent road, 10 percent off­road" use. But nonetheless, it is the first Buell effort to court at least a portion of the backroad riders who include some dirt in their travel diet. First, a caveat: The Ulysses owner's manual specifies that the motorcycle is not legal for off-road use where a spark arrestor is required. Dirt roads, even fairly gnarled ones, are no problem on the Ulysses, but single-track trail work would prove a large chore even for a strong and talented rider. Once lost to the seductive sirens of gravity and fate, the brave Ulysses would quickly be beyond salvation. When 500-some pounds head downhill, only the quickest response will do. You would, as Barney Fife used to say, have to nip it in the buuud. So the solution to that potential hazard is simple enough; don't make impossible demands of the bike or rider. (And don't get caught if you're out of bounds.) A sport-tourer, by my definition, has to provide limited service in the dirt. If not, it's too much tour and not enough sport. For example, a bike like the Ducati ST4 or BMW R1150R would not be happy for long on a jeep trail. For me, sport-touring is represented by bikes like the Ulysses, Multistrada, BMW HP2 and the KTM Adventure 950R. I reckon what it comes down to is the feeling that there's a good deal more adventure to be had off-road than on. The Ulysses is billed as an "adventure sportbike," which is fair enough; a street scrambler in other words. Labels and buzzwords, like everything else, change. But this is hardly your average, street-legal desert sled in modern trim. The XB12X is a bundle of techno-expertise from around the world, with only the venerable Harley V-twin as the home-grown component. The frame, which doubles as the fuel tank, is from Verlicchi of Italy, fabricator of numerous Ducati chassis. Likewise the swingarm, which doubles as the oil tank, and the Showa suspension originate in Japan; wheels come from China; and add an Australian exhaust system and luggage from Germany. This multi-nationalism has obvious benefits in terms of both performance and reliability. Erik Buell designs his bikes to meet specific and precise requirements, then hires the best specialists to build the pieces. Not that the Buell was without annoyances; first among them was the loud cooling fan, which runs constantly below highway speeds on a warm day. The lack of steering lock ranked number two, which requires some back-and-forth to turn around in a narrow space, or you can lean it over, put yer foot down, and spin half a donut. The third item was the clever alloy backrest that folds onto the passenger seat when not in use; nice design, but it was a bear to unlatch to change the position. And the funky ignition switch placement on the left side of the headlight shell. And ... No, really... overall the Ulysses is a remarkably good (first) effort and an encouraging sign of things to come from the Harley skunkworks in East Troy. Just for grins, we put the Ulysses up against the Ducati Multistrada S, for which Bologna claims no off-road capabilities. Still, both machines are fundamentally street scramblers, and both offer luggage options to cover the sport touring category. So the obvious questions were under what conditions would the Buell have more to offer, and vice-versa and back again. So to find out, we set off to ride Highway One from Morro Bay to Half Moon Bay, CA and that would provide a fix on the sport­touring profiles. Then, on the return trip we would cut inland to Alice's Restaurant, fly south on Skyline Drive, and somehow find ourselves misplaced on a longer/rougher-­than-expected dirt road in the mountains above Watsonville. That would establish the dualie-adventure credentials. About 700 miles round-trip. Tell you what, by the time we got to JJ's Homemade Burgers in San Juan Capistrano, we was hungry. As it turned out, both co-rider, Dennis Pegelow, and I ended up spending the most saddle time on the bike we each preferred. For him it was the Buell, and vice-versa, but it didn't begin that way. Before the ride, with about 100 miles on each bike, I favored the Ulysses for its easy power, moderately comfortable seat, all-­round composure, and luggage capacity. Plus, at a slow-to-moderate pace in the dirt, it took less physical effort than the Multistrada. This, I thought, is my idea of a sport-touring bike. The Ducati, on the other hand, was shaky below 4,000 rpm, buzzy for another thou, and had one of the worst seats ever to sail forth from Italy, a land known for brutal seats. It had a bunch of extraneous bodywork styled to cover the mechanical bits, trendy mirrors with built-in turn signals, and did I mention the seat? And this was the new-improved, better-than-­the-original seat! What the Multistrada did have was a dandy power-to-weight ratio, delicious mid-range grunt, nimble steering, Ohlins suspension, and that certain Italian sauce. And that's what got me in the end, so to speak. See, I'm a dirt rider at heart. When it comes to sporting dualies, if the paved-to-unpaved equation is close to 50-50, I'm willing to sacrifice some highway comfort for added agility in the dirt. According to the specs, the Multistrada is only 15 pounds lighter than the Buell, but underway it feels more like 50. This owes largely to the Ducati's lower center of gravity. The American machine steers heavier but by no means heavily when underway, unless you are crawling around at low speed such as trails or tight traffic. The Ulysses just pays a penality for its higher roll center. (Remember, the engine has been elevated to accommodate the underslung muffler, so the Harley twin's crankshaft sits a good half-foot higher than the Ducati's.) Still, the Buell can carve with alacrity in sweepers and the steady rush of torque transfers wonderfully to the tarmac. Exit speeds are exhilarating, wheelies are on-demand. But the Buell definitely demands a more robust push to set its appointed arc, and once dialed in it rails in convincing fashion. Two factors contribute nicely to this stability; suspension and tires. We changed the Ulysses' fork and shock settings by the manual, but by the time it would work well on both pavement and dirt, we had notched in about 400 pounds (rider and gear) worth of pre-load, compression, and rebound damping. The Ducati, conversely, had to be softened up significantly to work off-road. The Buell's specially-built Dunlops worked uncommonly well on varietal surfaces and the Ducati's Pirelli Scorpions are also good all-round rubbers. But it is power delivery and suspension compliance that point up the real differences between these bikes. Both engines make about 80 horsepower at the rear wheel, but it's the torque figures that tell the tale. The Ducati is pulling about 58 foot-pounders at 6,000 rpm, while the Harley pumps up 65 to 70 between 3,000 and 5,000 revs. So, while the Buell is comfortable at 20-30 mph on a cobbled dirt road, the Multistrada is buckboarding along below its natural powerband. On the other hand, when the speeds rise and the Ducati's engine and suspension reach their happy zone, the Ulysses becomes a pitching, heaving handful. Thus it was no surprise that Dennis came to prefer the Buell. So as a versatile multi-purpose platform for adventurous touring, the Buell takes the honors here. It will take the rider farther, in greater comfort and carrying more gear, than the Ducati. The Multistrada surely prevails as a street scratcher, especially on the twisty tarmac, but its comfort zone is more narrowly designed. Makes one wonder what a Sportster-based street scrambler would do, doesn't it? Originally published October 2006. http://ift.tt/2lDu3QP
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