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#tell me they wouldn't
bimoonphases · 19 days
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Sirius, looking at Remus in the distance: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
James: Through his stomach! With good food! And sweets! And tea! Or coffee!
Regulus: Through his ribcage. With a dagger.
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karasong · 1 year
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kcuf-ad · 3 months
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Jaden: CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA RUBI RUBI DABA DABA MAGICO RUBI RUBI!
Chazz: WILL YOU SHUT UP!? YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR 2 HOURS!
Jaden:... looks at Jesse
Chazz: No...
Jesse and Jaden: CHIPI CHIPI CHAPA CHAPA!
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pullingyourstrings · 2 years
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Headcanon: Gareth invites Eddie to watch movies at his house and Eddie thinks it's code for making out but no, he actually just wanted to watch movies. Everytime he tries to make a move Gareth cuts him off to point out things and make commentaries. Eddie thinks it's really cute, still he can't help but wish it'll be over soon so he can kiss his boyfriend already.
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if lucas and steve were able to watch st2 and see how billy treated max they'd go absolutely feral
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Uh-
just found out my cousin (who lives in England) is in the art department of a bunch of shows??? And she worked oN DOCTOR WHO? AND HAD LUNCH WITH DAVID TENNANT???? and she just told me so casually because she's interested in the art, not the show? I mean, excuse me? She worked on SHERLOCK???? FOR A WHOLE SEASON?? She worked on Peaky Blinders and Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones??? And probably other things because she has a shitty memory and according to her everything is a blur?? AND AT ONE POINT SHE WAS LIKE: "oh and have you ever heard of Neil Gaiman?" And I was trying not to scream, because yes, of course I've heard of Neil, he's only my favorite author, I've only read like all of his books multiple times, and if you say you worked on Good Omens or the Sandman I'm going to lose it completely. So I said "yeah I've read a couple of his books," -you know, like a liar- "what about him?" and she goes "well I worked on one of his shows and he's brilliant i just can't remember which one" and i go "w-what do you mean he's brilliant? You're.. you're talking about his writing... his writing is brilliant, right?" And she cheerfully says "oh no I don't read books, I ment he was really nice and brilliant when I talked to him" and i go "WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT" and she thinks for a moment and goes "oh! BRICKS" WHAT IN THE WORLD YES NO THAT MAKES SENSE YOU GET TO WORK AND TALK WITH NEIL FUCKING GAIMAN AND YOU TALK ABOUT BRICKS? NO THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL I'M NOT MAD ".... it was what I was designing at the time, I needed to know what vibe the bricks should have. Anyway want to see the spinning fireplace I made for doctor who" WHAT THE FUCK.
@neil-gaiman do you remember any brick conversations by any chance
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science-lings · 9 months
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my dad saw ao3 open on my computer and asked if that was like my writing club and just so you know that's what fanfic writers are now, we're all in the same writing club where we all write about the same media and show each other our little stories and that's kind of cool actually
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useramor · 2 months
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the thing that gets to me about buddie posts on here is that people will be like "look at them! friends don't do that! there is no platonic explanation for that" and well. friends do do that. their relationship is deep and beautiful and intense but their actions alone aren't exclusive to romantic partners. what — to me — makes buddie romantic over platonic boils down to their intentions. someone making their best friend their child's legal guardian isn't unheard of. but eddie did it and kept it a secret. eddie thought "this is the only man i trust with my son. this is the only person in this world that will hold my heart gently." and then eddie didn't tell him. that makes me crazier than the actual legal document. a normal friendship would discuss this. it'd be an open conversation. the fact that eddie can't bring himself to say it because he knows that what it means to him is too much to look in the eye? because he knows that telling buck about his decision would be the equivalent of bleeding all over the both of them again? that's what makes it romantic. eddie frantically chasing after buck's limp body after the lightning strike isn't necessarily because he's in love with him. plenty of really close friends would do that for each other. it's when eddie desperately tries to pull buck up to him instead of lowering him that makes it more. because eddie didn't climb the ladder to get buck down to safety, eddie climbed up the ladder to get buck to him. the desperation, the intent behind their actions, the way they can't look at each other when they're hurt because it's impossible to deal with even the idea of living in a world without each other says so much more than any of buck's acts of service alone. a best friend would help you take care of yourself and your kid after you have a mental breakdown, if you're physically injured, if you need help. it's the fact that nobody asked buck, it's the fact that he's the first person chris called, it's the fact that bobby didn't bat an eye, because of course buck's there to help eddie. it's a given. who else in the whole world would it be? because they're everything to each other. in a way that's just a little too much, a little too codependent, toes the line of friendship and lovelovelove a little too carelessly. they're not buck and eddie, best friends, they're buckandeddie, one word. and not because of any of action. because they're in massive stupid head over heels gay love with each other.
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inkskinned · 9 months
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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zivazivc · 4 months
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this came to me in a dream
Floyd's emo ass and a techno troll could make scene kids...! Do you see my vision??? . . . Ravin is Happy Hardcore and Eddy M is Synth-Pop, that's how troll genetics work, right?
anyway...
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i don't think floyd leads a proud life
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kinschi · 3 months
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comfort character
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rottmnt-residuum · 5 months
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Part 9 of Arc II (Part 35)
thats how they getcha in real life, free college (¬︿̫̿¬☆)
⇇ | ⇽ | index | ⇾
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Q!Tubbo core
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kcuf-ad · 2 months
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Windy: And I was like, Knife To Meet You!
Aqua: You stabbed Ai!
Flame: I am calling 911.
Ai: Don't worry guys, I am in a stab-le condition. Finger Guns
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konigsblog · 23 days
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a continuation from this post. ;3
baker-könig who puts his cum your food... 🍰🍪🧁
cw: perv!könig, loser!könig. MDNI 18+ 🔞
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baker-könig adores your reaction to his baked goods. the sweetness and the tanginess of the tarts he provides and bakes for you, his girthy, hot cock throbbing in the tight confines of his boxer briefs when you comment on the touch of saltiness.
he spends hours in the kitchen, sweat dripping from his forehead and the smell of the warm, sugary desserts catching your attention. what you don't know is that könig has jerked off into the bowl, mixing his bitter and salty arousal into the batter. he's so eager to hear your comments and compliments, getting off later in private to your words playing back in his head.
each stroke leaves könig breathless, his calloused fingers wrapped around his meaty shaft, gripping his large, hung cock firmly. there is flour and sugar all over the countertops, and ingredients are scattered around the kitchen. fat globs of his hot, thick release are spurted from the head of his lengthy dick and into the mixing bowl, his breath laborious and heavy.
he watches as you take a bite of the freshly baked, delicious cupcake, giggling at the perfect taste. you smile at him, telling him it's the best batch you've ever tasted. fuck, your compliments leave könig sexually frustrated, grinning perversely, and eyeing you up as you enjoy multiple of the cupcakes.
only when you suck him off for the first time do you recognise the familiar saltiness in his thick cum...
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crabsnpersimmons · 2 months
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"Hair dyes or perms or just a quick snip, you can always count on your ol' pal Clip!"
it's about time i officially shared my design for Clip from my hairdresser au! here's the silly boi himself!
a.k.a. the most complicated character i've ever designed...
close ups and additional comments under the cut!
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that's my boi, despite his crazy design, i love him. his silly top knot hat, the horn-like points around his faceplate, his speckled colours, his four arms, and his funky pants. he's just soooooo fun.
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Clip likes to play games and knit! he even made the patchwork pants he wears (he made Sun and Moon a pair too, but they're too precious for them to wear... also a little gaudy to wear in public—doesn't stop Clip tho!). He actually makes everything the boys wear, since there's not a lot of things in their size/shape.
instead of resting at night, he can be found in their living room, playing Kirby 64 for the nth time and/or knitting something. he's just too restless to stay still, he's always gotta be doing something and if it isn't gaming, knitting, or hairdressing, then he's up to No GoodTM.
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Clip... likes popping balloons. he says "Goodnight!" with each popped balloon and once he's done, he tosses up the scraps like confetti all while giggling joyfully.
needless to say, he is not fun at parties. Sun and Moon don't let him near balloons for this reason.
and yes, he has sewing needles on hand at all times. for fashion emergencies... and for unsuspecting balloons.
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Clip's not allowed to have a phone (just imagine all the in-app purchases Sun and Moon would have to deal with), but he likes to keep up with his customers and their games, even if he doesn't get their fixation over bluenets he'll never openly admit it but he prefers curly-haired blond hunks that look sweet in soft pastels but could also squash him like the spider he is
also, he's great at microbraiding! though i imagine if Sun and Moon are free, they'd come help to shorten the wait but also to compete and see who braids the most (Clip always wins of course—make anything into a game, and he's winning)
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aaaaand there's this! i wanted to make sure Clip would be able to freely rotate his waist so his arms could have their full range of motion, and this was the solution i came up with: a crop top on top and a wrap around his waist. and Clip here is being a sneaky little scamp about it.
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