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Kiss Me More
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Hi guys :)
I had a request for the last chapter for the serie "Kiss Me", so here it is :)
I hope it will suits you, dear anon.
Enjoy ♥
TW : Mention of cheating
PART 1 | PART 2
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Being Katie McCabe’s girlfriend is something you were hoping to be for several weeks before it happens. You both needed a little of adjustment at first, Katie was sometimes a little bit reluctant to pass to much time with you. You were hurt at first, thinking that she finally wasn’t interested to the idea of making things with you. When she realized that she hurt you, you had an explanation, where she basically told you that she didn’t want things to go to fast. Because a part of her was always scared of something going wrong or something.
You were great now, she isn’t the most demonstrative person in the world, at least when you are not alone. You can live with that actually, both of you decided to hide your relationship to the public for now. Not all of your teammates know about your relationship, but the ones who are your friends know.
Katie makes a point to let you understand that she is in charge in this relationship, but as bossy as she wants to be, you can only see how much she looks for you. When you are not coming to work together, she always waits for you in the locker room to have her kiss before going to training. When you are eating with other of your teammates at the training facilities, she always sneaks her chocolate to you. And you can say that she remembers everything you tell her.
Your favorite chocolate, your favorite flower, your favorite color, the name of the cat you had when you were a kid, where you like to go for a walk, your favorite TV show… She knows everything and she is always proud about it.
That’s the kind of things that makes you realize that she really cares about you.
********
“Do you really need to go?” you ask in a pouting tone, wrapped around your girlfriend.
Katie needs to go, you know that. She has to go to Ireland for the national break. You stay in London yourself, your ankle being a little sore and Australia only playing friendly, both of your teams decide to let you rest. You’re a little sad not to go have fun with Caitlin, Steph and Kyra, but you will next time.
“Yes, I have to. But I still could take you in my pocket” she smirks.
“I think I’d like that” you smile back.
Katie laughs and you cuddle even more against her, trying to get as much from your girlfriend as possible. It’s only two weeks, but you don’t like when she’s not around. She seems a little less needy than you are, but she never said anything about your behavior with her. Katie being very honest, you know that she would have said something if she didn’t like something you do.
You feel her shiver when you take a big breath in her neck and you smile, letting your finger run on the skin of her abs. But she knows what you’re doing, because several seconds after, she takes your hand in hers.
“We don’t have time for that, my pretty lady.”
“Can’t make it quick?” you tease.
“Not with you.”
She kisses you and you let her, distractedly asking yourself if it’s a compliment or not. But you soon come back to reality, Katie will leave in some minutes now. You’re at her house, you’ve got her cat’s supervision while she’s away. Ella, her sister, has too but she will rejoin her for the game in Ireland in some days.
You will not, because it would be too risky to do it. People would easily understand what’s happening if you go to the game. And with the social media, it would be impossible to hide. You know it. You’re still a little sad, but you don’t say anything to Katie about it.
She seems a little sad when she says goodbye to you at her door. The way she puts your hair behind your ear before kissing you softly say it all. You don’t need Katie to words what she’s feeling because you can feel it too.
“Write me?” you ask when she takes you against her one more time.
“Course. You too, ok?”
You nod, not trusting your voice at this moment. You hide your face on her neck one last time, breathing her sent. But you know you have to let her go; her Uber won’t wait for her forever.
After a last-minute recommendation about Coopurr, she kisses you a last time before running to the car with her suitcase. You can’t help but smile, waving back at her when she does from the back seat.
********
Katie lost her first game against France and in your opinion, it wasn’t really deserved. Maybe you are biased, but Katie would have deserved to score the goal at the 86th minute. She’s still fuming about her teammates fail and you try to distract her while showing her cat.
It’s seems to work, Coopurr’s purring making her smile. Ella left this morning, and you feel a little lonely here. Thanks god, Lia is in London too and you have someone you like to pass time with you. She is dog-sitting one of the dogs of your teammates and you wonder how it would look like when some of them would have children too.
You were actually walking Calvin with Lia, when you receive a message from one of your friends. You don’t really like when someone send you a “Have you seen that?!” with an article. You were not walking fast because of Lia’s leg, so you don’t have to slow to read it. Maybe sitting on a bench would have been a clever idea though.
You are currently reading an article of a girl, explaining how she slept with Katie McCabe. Your girlfriend. You know that Katie had some hookup before things are getting different between you, but the timing isn’t good. Katie and you are together for four months now. And this girl is literally talking about last week, exactly the day when Katie and her teammates went to a bar to decompress from the training. When you said to Katie that you find it strange, she laughs and answered “Meh we are Irish. Beer is in our DNA.” Which made you laugh at the time, but you are far from laughing right now.
“What’s going on?”
You realize that Lia called your name almost two times before you raise your face to look at her. Not being able to talk, you just give her your phone. You watch closely at her face when she reads it, and you see her passing from questioning to shock. She looks at you straight in the eyes when she gives you your phone back.
“Do you think that’s true?”
There is a lump in your throat that keeps you from talking right. You try to swallow it before talking.
“There are a lot of details.”
Lia nods. There are a lot of details. About Katie and her flat in Dublin, the same one where Ella was living before coming to London too.
“Come on, let’s go home. You need to call Katie.”
********
You did not call Katie, but you didn’t answer her messages or her call either. You know it’s stupid and maybe a little immature. But you cannot face it now. The betrayal is too hard to support, and you cried so much that you are not sure that your eyes will be white again one day.
You still take care of Coopurr though, the cat not leaving your side when you are at Katie’s house. You know she can see you coming if she wants, she installed security cameras outside and inside the house. Other than that, you just go to your flat to sleep the most that you can. You do not want to face this, maybe if you keep hiding the pain will fade away.
It doesn’t. You are startled awake two days after, with loud banging against your door. You hesitate to go answering, but you are clearly in fear that the person will break your door if you don’t get up.
So, you do, trying to arrange your hair in a messy bun. You are wearing Katie’s Irish away jumper and a pair of black Nike shorts. You’re pathetic. But Lia seems to be more relieved than judgy about your appearance when she sees you. She has her phone in her hand, but the relieved soon let place to a frown.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“Sleeping?”
She grunts and close the door behind her when she comes in your flat. Thanks god you cleaned last night, tired to be in a messy place.
“Why aren’t you answering to Katie?”
“I can’t” you whisper, following her in the living room.
Lia turns around to look at you and her face softens when she sees you. She hesitates several seconds, before handing you her phone.
“Well, do it now.”
You look at the screen to realize that she was already calling someone for almost 45 minutes already. It’s Katie. Lia encourages you to take it with another nod of her head. You sigh and take it, letting yourself fall in the couch behind you.
“Hello?” you mumble.
“Bloody hell, where were you?!”
You wince at Katie’s tone, Lia taping your shoulder in an attempt of recomfort before leaving for the kitchen. You appreciate the intimacy she offers you, but you would have preferred to have her with you to be honest.
“Why aren’t you answering to any of my text or call? What happened?”
Katie seems on verge of breaking down and that’s maybe what made you snap. You don’t shout with Katie; you know that it doesn’t make any sense to do it with her. She’s loud, but you were always able to talk about things without shouting.
“I don’t know, you tell me?” you say icily.
“I don’t understand.”
You can easily imagine her with her eyebrows frown. You sigh before rolling your eyes. If she wants proof, you’re going to give some to her.
“I’ll send you something. After that, if you have something more to tell me, call me back.”
You don’t wait for her answer before hanging up. You take your phone, looking for the article your friend sent you. You didn’t answer to him, but right now, it doesn’t matter. You sent the link to Katie, before going to the kitchen to give Lia her phone back.
“Do you want me to stay, or can I leave?” the Swiss captain asks.
“You can go, Wally. Thanks for coming.”
“Anytime. Call me, ok?”
You smile slightly and nod, letting her kiss your cheek before she leaves. You just have closed the door behind her when your phone start ringing. It’s Katie, requiring a FaceTime. You answer and Katie’s face is almost white when you see her.
“This is bullshit. I never did that, I swear.”
You sigh, rubbing your forehead. You are honestly so tired, the amount of sleep you had those past hours are not very good. And sad, of course.
“I don’t know, Katie” you whisper.
“No, it’s the truth! You have to believe me, baby please.”
“How can she know all of these things, Kat?” you say wearily. “She even knows that you have a birthmark on your tummy, or how your kitchen is decorated.”
“Ella always made TikTok in that flat before she comes to London! And for my birthmark, it probably visible on some pictures. You know that I give my jersey to kids sometimes after the game. People take me on picture every time.”
You let several seconds passed, trying to listen to her. The last part is true, you saw thousand pictures of your girlfriend in sport bra on the football fields. For the second part you don’t see her making things like this, particularly with the fact that you just have to go on TikTok to see if it’s the truth or not.
“Come on Babe, why in the world would I ask you out if it’s just for sleeping around soon after?”
“I don’t know.”
You are desperate. You want to believe her, of course you do. You know she has sometimes trouble with talking about her feelings, but you never thought about her cheating on you. She’s one of the most loyal persons you know.
“You know what? I’m taking a plane right now.”
“What?”
Katie is suddenly moving, and the noise of a suitcase that is open is audible from the phone.
“No Katie, you can’t do that. You have training tomorrow and a game in two days against England.”
“I don’t give a damn fuck.”
You almost roll your eyes.
“Katie, stop.”
She listens and look at you, her face dark and her eyebrow frown. She looks determined but she still stopped when you asked her.
“You can’t do that” you repeat.
“Well come to Ireland. I’ll sent you the ticket for the plane.”
“Katie…”
“Stop calling me that!” she shouts.
“Calling you what?” you ask, frowning.
“Katie.”
She says it like it’s a bad world or something and this time you can’t help but roll your eyes at her.
“It’s your name?” you point.
“You stopped calling me that after we start dating. Stop calling me Katie and come to Dublin. Please.”
********
That’s how you find yourself in a plane for Dublin, reserved by Katie who put you in first class. You roll your eyes when you realize it and sent her a picture of you in your seat when you are in the plane. Since your call, Katie almost never stops calling or texting you. You don’t understand how she managed to get the time to go to training, but she does. And the pictures of her on Instagram can say you that it’s the truth.
She warned you that she won’t be able to come to pick you at the airport, but you are surprised to see a man with your name on a paper waiting for you. He smiles at you, informing you that Katie sent him to drive you to her hotel.
He talks to you about Dublin and some places during the journey to the hotel, while you are looking by the window. You never went to Ireland before, only for football. Maybe Katie will show you around if you manage to forget your fight. And you definitively need to change the idea you made in your head that Katie really cheated on you.
You know that some of your friends saw the article too, but no one talked about it to you. Maybe because you were ignoring everyone, true.
When you arrive, you hide behind your hood because you don’t want anyone to recognize you for now. You’re really fearing to find yourself facing Ruesha, for example. Katie told you her room number and your hands are shaking when you knock on the door of her hotel room.
It took her several seconds to respond, but she finally opens the door. She looks tired honestly, but she’s at camp so it’s maybe not surprising. She froze a little when she sees you, like if she doesn’t believe that you will actually come. You’re the one breaking the silence, rather awkwardly to be honest.
“Hi” you whisper, waving your hand.
Thanks god, Katie doesn’t seem to mind. She doesn’t laugh, taking you against her. Hard.
“You’re here” she whispers while holding you.
You nod, finding solace in her embrace. You missed her, obviously. It would have felt better to find her without all this drama though. She lets you go only several minutes after, not only releasing you totally. She looks at you and you look back, both of you not knowing where to start.
“I’m sorry for the article” Katie finally says after some time.
You shrug, not knowing what you could answer to that. She doesn’t ask for it, cheating or not cheating.
“Do you believe me now?”
You know that the answer to the question is important for her. Like you said, Katie’s loyal. And it’s one of the things who are the most important for her. You know it, you know Katie.
“I think I do” you finally say very slowly.
You see that Katie is looking at your face and your eyes with attention, maybe looking for any trace of doubt from your part. You believe her, that doesn’t mean that the article was forgotten. The way you felt when you first read it is still very perennial in you.
“Yeah?” she asks softly.
You nod, smiling very lightly when she strokes your cheek. She gives you the impression that you are made of glass, and you don’t know if she ever been so delicate with you.
“Come sit down.”
She takes you by the hand and you let her drag you in her bed. You sit here, next to her, with your back against the headboard. Katie sits in front of you, playing with her thumb and her nails.
“I’m going to talk, but if you have something to say please feel free to stop me, ok?” Katie asks.
You nod, looking at her. You are curious to know what she might want to tell you. Does she even know that girl? Or did that girl create all this story?
“I know that I’m maybe not the perfect girlfriend and I know that our relationship didn’t really start like it was supposed to. I’ll always had a thing for you, but I was scared, I was an asshole, and it was honestly easier for me to just sleep with you and try to pass to something else. That’s what I tried to do, but it didn’t work. I was still thinking about you, even more than before.”
Katie stops to take a breath and you are still looking at her, not saying a word for now. You don’t know if Katie thought about what to say to you, but for now you understand what she’s saying.
“I never slept with someone else since our first time, I couldn’t even if I tried and that scared the shit out of me. It was so hard to deal with the breakup with Ruesha, not because I was still in love with her, but because it was so shit, you know? I really don’t want to have to deal with that once again.”
You nod slowly, still not talking. This point makes you a little uneasy to be honest. You knew that Katie’s ex will be here to the camp. And you don’t know how the hell are all the people doing, because it was hard for you to be ok with the fact that Ruesha was seeing Katie every day and not you.
“But then there was this damn girl hitting on you right in front of me and I couldn’t support it. I was only thinking that you were mine, but you weren’t. And at that point I didn’t know if you wanted to be mine or if my behavior ruined everything we could have. But you give me a chance, and I’ll be forever grateful for it. That’s why I will never do anything and take the risk to lose you, Y/N. I really care for you and you mean more to me than you think.”
Katie never talked to you about her feelings the way she is doing now. You are touched, of course. You were in love with her before you slept together for the first time, not thinking a second that she might be interested in you too. She seems so vulnerable now, her voice shaking a little at the end. Maybe it’s the emotions, maybe it’s because how much she talked. Maybe both.
You softly take her hand in yours, interlocking your fingers together.
“I really care about you too. That’s why this… things was so hard to read. I don’t understand why someone would invented something like that.”
“I dunno. For celebrity maybe”
Katie shrugs, not really having interest in that for now. All that mattered to her right now is being sure that you trust her. That you believe her and she didn’t lose you.
“Are we good?” she asks, searching for your eyes.
“You promise that nothing happened?”
“I swear on Coopurr’s head, babygirl.”
“Ok” you laugh, rolling your eyes.
You can’t hide the fact that this is the first time that you laugh since you red this article on the park with Lia.
“Hug?”
Katie opens her arms with a slight smile and you don’t hesitate once second before going for her. Your movement make you both fall in the bed and you smile when you hear Katie’s laugh. You missed it. You missed her.
“God I missed you” Katie mumbles from under you, reading in your mind.
“I missed you too” you say honestly, letting your head rest against her shoulder.
She just hums, stroking your back softly while steering at the ceiling. You feel yourself dozen, you haven’t really had a good sleep those last days. But soon there is knock against Katie’s door and you jump.
“McCabe, diner!”
Katie sighs softly and release you to sit on the bed.
“Is it now that I leave?” you asks, not able to hide your disappointment.
“If you want to. Otherwise, you can wait for me here, I’ll sneak something for you to eat and we can sleep together. Tomorrow morning I’ll make my sister come to get you and you can come to the game?”
“Won’t people ask what the hell I am doing here?” you arch an eyebrow.
“That’s not their business. Unless it disturbs you.”
“It doesn’t”
“So it’s settled then” Katie shrugs, getting up from the bed.
She kisses you one more time before leaving and you decide to take the time to shower. You fall asleep while waiting for her, only taking the time to eat the sandwich and snacks she takes with her in the room before falling asleep again. You slept better in her arms than you did since like forever.
And the next day, when Ella came to take you to Katie’s flat at Dublin, you are feeling good again. Katie didn’t cheat on you.
Ireland didn’t win against England, but you are prouder than ever of your girlfriend. You decide to wear Katie’s jersey and to watch the game with her family in the stadium. Your presence didn’t went unnoticed, but like Katie said, you both didn’t care. To be honest, you even have fun to post what fans like to call soft launch.
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auteurdelabre · 19 hours
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SO MUCH TO LOSE part 10 - dark!Joel x f!reader
rating: 18+
words: 7.5k
TW: HEAVY EMOTIONAL CHAPTER. MENTIONS OF TRAUMA. Allusions to oral sex, m receiving, allusions to f/m penetrative sex.
a/n: I told y'all this chapter's a doozy. Well it is, but maybe not for the reasons you think. . . To me its one of the most important chapters of this whole story.
series masterlist
REBLOGS, COMMENTS, ENGAGEMENT ARE WHAT KEEP US FIC WRITERS GOING. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT IF YOU ENJOYED THIS.
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SO MUCH TO LOSE CHAPTER 10
You visit Maria the following week with a plate of cookies in hand. She’s the one to answer the door and you are relieved when you see that she is showered and dressed. Things must be improving. She brings you into a tentative hug when you arrive, urging you inside out of the fresh dusting of snow.
“Tommy has Douglas out for a little walk. I’ll make you a coffee.”
“I’m fine,” you insist. “Just came to drop off some baking. I’m heading to Ellie’s later this week and needed to get some practice in. I haven’t done much baking lately and wanted to make sure I wasn’t rusty.”
You join her on the couch, watching as she wraps her hands tightly around her coffee mug. She takes tentative sips between munches of cookie. At the first bite she literally moans.
“This is so good.”
“Thanks. They were Charlotte’s favorite.”
Maria licks the crumbs from her lips before leaning back on the sofa. She’s always been slender and she looks almost as she did back before she gave birth, except for the small pouch at her lower belly. You think she looks better with it.
“Was Charlotte your daughter?”
“Oh no. I never had kids.”
“We’re you ever married?”
“Me?” you almost laugh. “No.”
“Oh,” Maria blinks and her mouth tugs to the side. “I thought you might be. You have a nurturing quality about you.”
 “I think you give me too much credit.”
Maria grins, taking another bite of cookie. The two of you chat amiably a bit about the changing weather, of the way the inhabitants of Jackson City get along so well. Of how she feels the pressure of being Jacksons’ ‘First Lady’. Of how the bandits that fuck with the dam that supports the city stresses her daily.
“It’s a fucking nightmare some days,” she cites with a grumble. “Thank goodness for Tommy.”
“He’s a good man,” you tell her.
“He is,” she smiles indulgently before shooting you a lingering look. “What do you think about Joel?”
“How do you mean?”
“You do patrols with him, right?” 
“Can’t say I was always his biggest fan,” she says, taking another sip from her mug. “But he’s grown on me.”
“Yeah.”
You hold in the scoff that’s already begun in your throat.
“My friend Jennifer seems to think he’s pretty wonderful,” you offer instead. “She was delighted to help him repair the window last week.”
“She the blonde one? Used to do textiles?” Maria knows everyone thanks to her position.
“Yeah.”
“Not his type,” Maria insists with a shy grin. “She’d eat him alive.”
Jennifer doesn’t seem like she would eat anyone alive.
“Joel is all harsh edges,” she explains when she sees your confusion. “He needs someone soft to balance him out. That Jennifer girl is hard.”
You don’t think that you would consider Jennifer hard and you don’t fight Maria on it because the conversation quickly turns to Jackson’s continued increase of population, the place swelling with new life.
“Plenty of single men,” Maria says with a quirked brow in your direction. You give a soft laugh.
“Not really interested.”
“Single women too.”
“No no,” you laugh again, cheeks pinking. “I like men, I just . . . I don’t think I’m the partnering type.”
You think of Luke and his sweet features and his muscled forearms. For him you could perhaps be the partnering type. Perhaps. The thought of romance appeals to you; it just doesn’t seem realistic at times. A crush feels fun and safe.
“You must have had your share of dates,” Maria insists. You can see her relaxing and you think she must be enjoying what she views as girl time. You think she must not have had much of it lately.
“Normal crushes and stuff,” you shrug. “But I was a late bloomer and then the outbreak started when I was a teenager so I didn’t have a chance for a lot of firsts back then.”
“Sex,” Maria nods.
“Uh yeah… that…” you say, trying to appear nonchalant. “And uh, kissing, dating, all that stuff.”
“But you did eventually,” Maria cites smiling.
“Sex? Oh yes,” you nod. You weren’t a monk or anything in your time before Jackson City.
“What was your first time like?” Maria settles back against a cushion, nibbling at her cookie looking at you eagerly. “I remember mine was all fumbling in the backseat of his truck before curfew.”
You laugh and think Maria must be starved for company to be intrigued by your limited romantic experience.
“Uh… fast,” you say with a laugh before allowing yourself to be transported back to that time. “He worked at one of the bakeries that I assisted in. I remember he had the longest eyelashes I’d ever seen on a man. They were so blond you could only see them if he turned at a certain angle. He made me laugh. One night he invited me back to his apartment and… that was that.”
“How old were you?”
“Uh, twenty two, twenty three?”
“And you didn’t date after?”
“Nah, my family left that QZ kinda in a hurry.”
You aren’t expecting your voice to hitch on that last sentence, but it does.  Maria grows somber, her dark eyes expressive.
“Can I ask why you left?”
You blink back the sheen of tears starting and gaze around the room, trying to land on something that will steel you. You find it in the small carving of a horse on the bookshelf nearby. You tell your story to that delicately made creature instead.
“We moved east through the QZ’s for about ten or eleven years. Stayed in a few of them before we’d pick up and keep moving to the next one. Hard to make connections and date with all that. I didn’t trust that I’d have the time.”
Maria looks like she wants to ask more when the door is opened and Tommy’s cheerful voice rings out announcing he and Douglas are home and ready for lunch.
“We have company!” Maria says cheerfully.
Tommy turns the corner to see you and he greets you. He wears Douglas strapped to him with fabric, snuggled under his large jacket. Jackson is sleeping soundly and barely notices when Tommy unwraps and hands him off to his mother.
Douglas squirms, his tiny head burrowing into Maria’s neck. She smiles and for the first time you’ve known her it looks sincere. There is a lightness in the house you realize, something that had been missing before.
“He enjoyed being out in the fresh air,” Tommy announces. “Everyone who saw him wanted to kiss him.”
“Tommy!” Maria looks horrified.
“But I didn’t let ‘em,” Tommy finishes, pressing a gentle kiss to his wife’s worried brow. “I’m gonna make some soup. You two want a bowl?”
“I’m alright,” you say. “I just brought by dessert. I’m actually heading over to Ellie’s to do some baking.”
“Joel’s letting you use his place to bake?”
You still, brows raised. “Uh… yeah. Is that… should I not be?”
“No, I’m just surprised,” Tommy admits after a pause. “I don’t think he’s ever let anyone in that house aside from me and Maria. Think the only reason he and Ellie don’t kill each other is ‘cuz she’s in the garage.”
“Oh.”
You don’t know what else to offer besides that.
Tommy nods and for a moment you see something in his expression, a pinched look when Maria looks away from him.  You realize that Tommy looks harried, running a hand through his glossy curls.
“What’s up?”
“Nothin’,” Tommy replies too quickly.
You see the panic in his eyes as his gaze darts from his wife back to you. You understand immediately. Maria is doing well, if there’s something stressful in Jackson City he doesn’t want to bother her with it.
“Thanks for the tea Maria, but I better head out,” you inform them both.
Maria wraps you into a side hug, one arm around your shoulders, the other holding her son. You run your knuckles down his spine gently.
“Come back soon,” she whispers.
“I promise.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Tommy says, feigning manners. The two of you walk to the front door around the corner. As you toe on your boots you look up at him expectantly.
“Well?”
Tommy looks over his shoulder anxiously before dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper only you can hear.
“Rumor is Raiders were spotted by A Patrol this week,” Tommy says with a sigh. “Up by the traps.”
“Fuck,” you breathe. “Really?”
“Not positive. A Patrol isn’t always the most reliable. They spook easy and are overly cautious. But I’d rather that than the alternative.”
“Of course.”
“Just make sure you and Joel are extra cautious,” Tommy says. “I know you’re both responsible but, you know…. Just be extra responsible.”
You nod, feeling your heart thrumming in your chest as you make your way to Rancher Street.
///
You didn't really want to go to Joel's house today. But Ellie had found you last night heading home from The Tipsy Bison and had guilted you into it when she told you that Joel had brought back all the supplies needed. 
You'd tried to sway her into baking at your place but only the burners on your oven work. You'd never really considered getting the main oven fixed, since you take most of your meals in the dining hall.
But in moments like this, you heavily regret that choice. 
You feel like even your footsteps sound timid as they make their way up the wood steps. 
Ellie is at the door, pulling it open before you can even knock. She must have been looking for you at the window, counting down the seconds until your arrival. The thought warms you. She gives you a broad smile that lights up her face.
"I got everything set up!"
She takes off down into the kitchen and you venture into the Miller home tentatively, still anxious about what happened last time.  
A sound to your right draws your attention and you take in the tall form of Joel coming into the room. He's dressed in jeans and a sweater, obviously feeling the chill despite the cheery fire that roars behind him. 
"Mornin'," he greets. 
"Morning." You lick your lips nervously. "Thanks for letting me bake with Ellie."
"'Course. She's been looking forward to it for weeks. Can't stop talkin' about it.'
Joel gives you a whisper of a smile but the thing that really throws you about this interaction is that he looks almost nervous. You've never seen Joel look nervous. 
He'd been so stiff after last patrol, not even saying goodbye to the group after you'd all disembarked off the horses. 
It had been embarrassing. Him storming off like you'd all done something wrong. Only Jennifer seemed to still be under Joel's spell citing that watching him hammer the window would fuel her fantasies for months to come.
You're still really irritated with him but it's lessened slightly because his greeting isn’t hostile. You could almost relax if it weren’t for the intense way he’s staring at you.  
You hear your name being called by Ellie in the next room so you toe off your shoes and head into the kitchen. She's got an apron on, borrowed from the kitchen or Joel because it's far too big for her small frame. 
"Alright," you give her a warm smile as you enter. "You got everything?"
"Yep."
You place the bag you brought on the counter. You remove your own apron, baby blue with ruffles on the end. A recent gift from Jennifer who told you “since you’re a real chef you need your own apron”. You tie it as you speak to Ellie.  
"So what I like to do is set up all my supplies on the counter just to double check I have everything. Nothing worse than being halfway through a recipe and finding out you you’re missing ingredients."
The sentence isn't even out of your mouth before Ellie’s opened up her cupboards and ice box and begun to take everything out. Flour, eggs, bowls, milk and more, all the items you gave Joel on the list. She places them on the counter before looking at you like a proud student. 
"You'll need measuring spoons."
The two of you turn at the same time to see Joel standing by the entrance to the kitchen, lingering. His hands are in his jean pockets, standing like a chastised student outside the classroom.
"I brought some," you inform him, trying to hold in your irritation. You pull them from your bag, putting them next to the eggs. 
You feel Joel's eyes on your back and you're sure he's silently judging you, eager to point out what you're doing wrong. You stiffen under the perceived scrutiny. Ellie must sense the change in the room because she whips around to shoot him a jeering look. 
"Joel you don't need to supervise," Ellie says rolling her eyes. "We won't break the damn stove." 
Joel looks at his feet mumbling something about needing to do stuff upstairs anyway before he's making his way out of the kitchen. 
You go back to your lesson with Ellie who turns out to be a very focused student. 
She asks smart questions, measures everything perfectly and takes her time. It's only when you put her in charge of cracking three eggs into the bowl that she gets frustrated. 
"Fuck, it cracked wrong. Shell got in."
Her fingers pinch into the egg bowl, trying to grasp the fallen eggshell. Of course the viscous nature of the raw egg makes it impossible and it’s not long before she pushes at the bowl angrily, her face is set into a deep frown.
“S’fucking bullshit.”
"Happens all the time," you tell her kindly. "Don't stress about it. I’ll show you a secret my mom taught me and my sister to get ‘em out."
Ellie watches as you take the empty shell half still in her hand. Her brows knit in confusion as you lower it into the bowl, using it as a scoop. Unlike with her fingers, the egg shell piece floats easily into the makeshift scoop. You pull the shell from the bowl, tossing the mess into the garbage.
“Holy shit that actually worked.” Ellie smiles at this and it transforms her pale pinched features into that of a warm, approachable teenager. 
You smile, feeling strangely proud. You’ve never baked with anyone else before, aside from the kitchen. But that was following the same boring recipes given by the head chef. You were usually boiling rice, cutting onions or apples. Baking is a different beast, a calmer, more relaxing one.  
After that hiccup Ellie is more patient with herself. She's keen to learn about baking but she's very eager to talk to you about you. When you pop the formed pastries into the oven and set the timer she decides that now is the time to chat. 
"What kind of music did you used to listen to before?"
Memories of Joel’s warning float in your mind. The reminder not to tell her too much. To make her long for a life that he can’t give her.
"Enough about me,” you deflect. “I want to know about you."
At this Ellie balks slightly, the smile wavering just a fraction before the mask is replaced and she nods. Her mixing increases but now her eyes are on the batter.
"Whadda you wanna know?"
"What was your life like before Jackson?"
"I was in the QZ back in Boston,” she says slowly, as if she's trying to make sure she doesn't give too much away. "Hated it."
"Parents?"
"Never met 'em."
"What brought you to Jackson City?"
"Joel."
She doesn't offer you more or less than that. You understand it, you don't push it.
"How'd you end up here?" She asks, mixing the dry ingredients.  
You realize the stupidity of you asking her those questions. How easily you opened them to be doubled back on yourself. 
"You asked me what kind of music I listened to before?" You smile, hoping that this will distract her. "I remember I saw Chicago about a billion times," you laugh. "I was obsessed. I listened to the soundtrack over and over."
"Chicago," Ellie says slowly as if trying to recall before a light seems to go on. "Oh, I've heard of Chicago. Joel likes ‘em."
Them?
It takes you a minute to understand what she's talking about. You finally answer giggling. 
"Chicago the musical, not the band. The musical had great songs. And dancing." 
"Do you dance?"
"Not very well." 
Your dual laughter combines and you can't help but enjoy the sound. Ellie really does make you laugh. She reminds you of how life was before. When everything seemed new. 
You can tell Ellie wants to know everything about your life before the outbreak. And you want to indulge her but Joel's words rub their imprint on your the inside of your skull.
"Hey I promised your D- Joel that I wouldn't keep talking about this stuff with you," you explain quietly. "He's worried it makes you want stuff you can't have."
"Jesus," Ellie says rolling her eyes. “Overprotective much?” 
"No he's right," you insist truthfully. "I mean, I get where he's coming from. He doesn't wanna keep disappointing you."
"Joel could never disappoint me."
The timer goes off and you peer into the oven. The pastries are a golden brown. You smile before taking them out with the oven mitt. Ellie closes her eyes, inhaling.
"They smell so good."
"Just wait until you put icing on them," you encourage with a grin. "Delicious." 
The two of you get to work making the icing while the pastries cool. 
"It's gonna snow," Ellie comments out of nowhere as she peers out the window, mixing idly. 
"Hate to break it to you, El, it's already snowing."
Ellie gives you a smirk along with her side eye. You don't know if it's from your sarcastic comment or the fact that you called her El. 
"I mean I think it’s gonna snow a lot." She explains. "I heard some of the other kids talking about it at school."
"Huh," you offer noncommittal as you look at the consistency of the icing. "Wonder how they can tell."
"They said they could smell it," Ellie says with a grin, pushing up the sleeve of her shirt so that it doesn't drip into the icing bowl. "They said tha-"
You can't hear anything she's saying after that. All you can focus on is her now bared arm and the ugly bite mark. Blood rushes in your ears and you cry out before giving a blood curdling shriek. 
“No!”
Ellie jumps, startled at your sudden screams. She throws herself back against the wall, eyes wide and glancing around as if she expects hordes of infected to come streaming in. 
"What? What is it?"
You know she's never seen you be loud, never seen you scream and the sight must terrify her. 
But all you can focus on is the clear outline of bite marks on her forearm visible after she rolled up her sleeves. The clear sign of an infected’s mark. She’s going to turn into a clicker before your eyes. She’s going to become soulless and inhuman and you need to go. You need to get somewhere safe.
Joel. He’ll be so devastated.
You can hear the heavy footsteps of Joel approaching the kitchen but all you can think of is escaping and getting yourself safe. You have to warn the town. You run towards the front door, your socks slipping over the smooth floor. 
You're still screaming incoherently, your voice cracking as you lunge for the doorknob, tears in your eyes. Your hand closes around the brass knob just as two muscled arms go around your waist, pulling you back harshly. A hand covers your mouth and a deep voice is at your ear. 
"Quit," he repeats, shaking you slightly in his arms. "Stop screamin'."
There's an increasingly paranoid thought that believes this was all a trap. A way for Joel to get his daughter fed. You feel it, Joel's arms wrapped around your entire body, pinning your arms to your sides. His body is warm and solid behind you, terrifying in its strength. It takes you to a time you've tried to forget. 
"Get the fuck off of me!" You shriek against his palm, trying to wriggle out of his grip but he holds firm. You're screaming expletives, trying to kick out. You shake his hand off your mouth. "She's bit, Joel! I saw it!"
Ellie hasn't moved from where she stands cowering in the corner of the kitchen. But you can only imagine how soon it will be before she turns. You can't be here for that. You can’t watch that sweet girl turn into one of them.
"I know," Joel rumbles against your temple, hands still gripping you tightly. 
"You know," you repeat and now a dread begins in your feet and floods the rest of you. 
Joel knows she is bit. Joel welcomed you into his home knowing she was bit. 
You are going to die. 
"Let me go!"
High on fearful adrenaline you give a frantic kick backwards, elbowing into Joel's abdomen at the same time you thrust the ball of your foot onto his socked toes. Joel gives a strangled grunt and his arms loosen in pain momentarily allowing you a chance to break free from him. 
You tug open the door and speed out without your boots. You feel the snow on the porch under your feet, freezing your toes immediately. You throw yourself down the porch stairs, feet slapping the wood as you hold back sobs. The street is deserted; the houses all empty as they usually are on bright Saturday afternoons. You go to cry out for someone, anyone, when Joel's arm bands around your waist.
You give a devastated howl of defeat before Joel is dragging your struggling frame back into the house, telling you to calm down. 
Ellie is by the sink, her eyes on the ground. 
But you still struggle, trying to get away from this house. Joel gives a frustrated growl before he pushes you up against the wall, pinning you there with his hips. His hands hold your wrists on either side of your head, pressing them into the wall. 
"Stop fuckin' strugglin'," Joel seethes when you jerk against him, his chest pressing you so tightly to the wall you can't breathe. 
"Please let me go," you beg brokenly as you continue to struggle in his arms. "Please I just-“
"She's immune," he rasps in your ear. "She's fucking immune! Stop!"
Immune. Immune. 
"What?" You stop your screaming just long enough to twist your head to face him. "Immune? That's not possible." 
But you’ve stopped struggling as hard.
You take a closer look at Ellie’s arm from where you stand, noticing that it doesn’t look particularly fresh. In fact it looks scarred. And yet something in you is still terrified. So terrified that you yelp when you feel Joel's wide hands go to either side of your face, forcing your face up and eyes to his. 
"Everything is okay," Joel tells you in a husky rasp. "You're safe, I promise. I've got you. You're safe." 
His eyes are locked with yours as he says this and you don't know how those words work their way into your body, but they do. The same way they wind around you as you allow yourself to get lost on patrols with your mouth on him. That sense that someone else is in charge, someone else is protecting you.
You're safe.
Your entire frame goes boneless in his arms and when he finally releases your face your head drops to your chest. He continues to press you gently against the wall with one heavy hand holding you there.
"What if it's slow acting or -" you whisper quietly, "or what if you can still pass it on with saliva or-"
"The dogs don't detect it," Joel tells you, his hold on you not lessening. "Ellie and I've shared drinks plenty a' times. She's immune."
You stare at the girl at the table, her entire countenance shifted. You can see the devastation, the fear and anger floods out of you immediately, like a deep sigh. You sag in Joel's arms, feeling as he slowly loosens you. 
"She's had it for months," Joel tells you, no longer pinning you to the wall. 
"Months?" 
You're still stunned by the developments but it doesn't stop your eyes from traveling over to Ellie. You see now that tears are slipping off the end of her nose as she silently cries. She’s pulled her sleeve back down, covering the scar.
Your heart immediately breaks because it's you who did this to her. This girl who trusts so few. You treated her like she was a monster. 
"Ellie I'm sorry, I just..." You trail off, your heart still beating wildly. 
But Ellie has tears in her eyes, her neck blotchy. She's raced to the garage, slamming the door after her. You flinch at the sound of it. 
Then it’s just you and Joel in the quiet kitchen.
"How long have you known?"
"Since I met her," Joel explains quietly. "Was bringing her to the fireflies with a friend in exchange for a battery. Rumor was there was a cure."
"Guess not if you're both here," you say absently, missing the pain in his dark eyes when you say it. 
"Not a lot of people know about it. We'd like to keep it that way."
You nod, your mind whirring. You realize you've never seen Ellie in anything but long sleeves. Never seen her wearing bracelets or anything that would draw her attention to her arms. She’s been hiding in plain sight. You think of the friendships she hasn’t made, the way she keeps to herself, the hostile way she is with most and it all clicks into place.
"We were thinking of gettin' her a tattoo to cover it up,” Joel continues. “Haven't found anyone to do it yet." 
You nod again, eyes falling on the pastries now lying squashed on the floor, the warm berries oozing out onto the wood.
“I’ll take care of this stuff,” Joel mutters, dropping to his knees and starting to pick up the supplies you brought. You think of how excited Ellie had been to recreate the pop tarts, how devastated she’ll be when she realizes they’re all ruined.
"I- I think I should go talk to Ellie."
"She doesn't wanna talk. Trust me."
"Just lemme try."
Joel looks as if he's about to protest but you're already walking quickly until you've reached the door to the garage. You knock gently.
"Ellie? It's me. Please don't be upset ... I was just startled."
There's a pause, then a sniffle that makes your heart lurch. 
"Can we talk? Please, Ellie?" 
You hear shuffling and then finally the door to the garage is opened a crack and you see Ellie peering through. Her eyes are swollen and red, the end of her nose pink. She glares at you through the small slit in the door. 
"Fuck off."
"I just want to explain. Just let me explain and then I promise I'll leave."
She doesn't move, doesn't attempt to close or open the door. She just stands there like some sentry. 
“Five minutes. That’s all I need.”
"You think I'm a freak."
"I don't," you insist, palm on the door as if you could transfer your emotions by osmosis to her. "Ellie I was having fun right before all this. I really was. Can we talk? Please? I want to explain properly." 
Ellie’s glossy eyes scan your body and with a labored sigh she steps back, opening the door and allowing you entrance. 
"Come in."
You follow her into the warm space, watching as she drops onto her made bed. Ellie hugs her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as you look at her. Ellie's eyes drag from the floor up to your face and you see her chin trembling as she holds in tears. 
“Can I sit?” you ask motioning to beside her on the bed. She nods, shuffling to give you room to perch there.
“I know you’re not gonna come back after this,” Ellie says, eyes wide with a quiet pleading as you look over at her.
“Of course I am.”
“No you’re not,” Ellie says shaking her head and rubbing angrily at her eyes. “You’ve seen my arm. You think I’m a fucking freak.”
"Ellie I swear I don't think you're a freak," you emphasize as you shuffle on the edge of her bed. "I was just... That bite took me back to a really scary time."
"Yeah," Ellie says with her chin balanced on her kneecap. "No one wants to think about... All that stuff." 
You see the desolation there in her eyes. She's hurt and even though you didn't mean to do it you did. You feel responsible for her sadness. Your eyes go to her closed door, wanting to make sure you have privacy before you turn back to her.
"Ellie, can I share some stuff with you?"
"Yeah.”
"It's not happy stuff," you tell her. 
"Figured." Ellie shrugs again like it doesn't matter. Like she's seen it all. Maybe she has, but you doubt it. She doesn’t make eye contact with you.
“It’s just. . . I’ve never told anyone this stuff before. Ever.”
Ellie’s eyes go to your face now. She can see how serious you are and she straightens slightly. She goes from being hunched and holding her legs to sitting cross legged across from you on the bed.
"Okay..." You take a sharp inhale. “So, I was about your age when Outbreak Day happened. I was with my Dad and my sister. My mom was visiting my Aunt in Wyoming-“
“How come?”
“Ellie you gotta let me get this all out quick okay?” you say gently. “No interruptions.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” you breathe deeply again. “She was visiting my aunt because my aunt was getting a divorce and my mom wanted to support her. Anyway, about ten years ago my dad and my little sister and I were travelling between QZ’s. We were looking for my Mom because my Dad was convinced she was still alive and she’d be out in this direction.”
You swallow; hating talking about this but knowing that Ellie deserves this truth. So far she looks intrigued, her eyes wide.
“So one night we were exhausted. We’d been travelling for days and we were low on food and water. We see this old cabin and it looks like it’s abandoned. We figure it’s a good spot to hunker down and get some energy before we keep going.” You exhale a shuddering breath.
“Except it wasn’t abandoned. It was a trap set up by this group of Raiders. I called them The Group. They killed my dad and they were gonna kill me and my sister when one of the guys had the bright idea that they could use us as bait.”
"Bait?"
 Ellie seems to remember she’s not supposed to say anything because she ducks her head slightly.
"Yeah. they made us go into new places first," you explain detached, as if you’re talking about another woman in another life. "So if there was anything dangerous it would get us in enough time to give The Group a chance to escape.”
Ellie is staring at you wide-eyed, all her teenage ambivalence lost as you detail the most terrifying years of your life. You omit lots of the more gruesome details and you definitely don’t tell her about Rock River.  
"Once they hung me from a tree," you tell her, trying not to sound emotional. It's not hard. Years of hiding how that part of your life affects you makes you good at it. "They tied me to a rope and hung me on a branch to attract clickers."
"Jesus."
"Yeah," you nod. "It worked really well. There was a big group and they piled underneath me, trying to grab at me, their mouths all black and their teeth gnashing and...” you stop yourself when you see Ellie’s eyes widening. “Anyway, The Group got ‘em all and managed to get some good supplies in the town because of it. I just... It just left me kind of..."
You wince when you realize you’ve trailed off, your focus blurred.
"The point is that when I saw your arm it just all came flooding back and I reacted out of instinct. Not because I think you're a freak. I could never think that about you.”
Ellie is quiet, digesting all that you've told her. You think you hear a creaking outside her door, but you're not sure. Your attention is drawn back to the girl who’s eyes hold such a myriad of emotions; pain, empathy, fear, anger.
"How did you end up here?" 
You think about not telling her. But it feels so good to be getting some of this information out, like you’re coughing up a thick black piece of flesh that’s been festering in your lungs for years, making it so you can now finally breathe.
"One guy, Chiyo, he joined up with our group a few years after I was taken. He owned a shooting range before everything.... You know…. Well, he'd broken his ankle in a recent raid and couldn’t really move much. If we hadn't come upon him when we did he probably would have been killed by another group of raiders. But as it was he had this giant stash of weapons and The Groups ranks were thinning so..."
You trail off, thinking of how you'd come upon him first when you and The Group got to town. How the leader you thought of as Red due to his hair (you never learned their real names), shoved you brutally by the shoulder.
Always the bait.
But after what had happened only the week before you didn’t care anymore. Red pushed you and you entered willingly, your feet not even dragging as you walked. It was either be shot by one of The Group attempting to escape, or see what resided inside the shop with the boarded up windows.
Chiyo’s gun was trained on you the second you walked in. The way you held your hands at your eye level when he told you he was going to shoot.
“I’m gonna blow your head clean off if you take another step.”
And suddenly you’d decided that you were done. You were so tired. And at least this way it would be quick and it would be away from The Group. And so you’d taken another step towards Chiyo, hands still raised.
You can still recall the furrowing of his thick brows and the lowering of his weapon as he stared at you.
"You want to die?"
You hadn't answered him but that had been answer enough for Chiyo. He'd hobbled over to you, dragging his lame leg, dark eyes fixed on your face. 
"I'm not gonna hurt you."
And when he'd said it, you'd believed him.
You remember the way you'd convinced the rest of The Group they needed someone like him. A crack shot, you told them. You'd had no idea of knowing if it was true. But there had been warmth in Chiyo's eyes that was missing from the rest of The Groups. Something that you clinged to in the coming months.
"Thankfully he was a really good shot,” you explain. “He joined up and we stripped his shop of his guns and eventually his ankle healed thanks to the medic in The Group and he was suddenly part of the team.”
“Was he nice to you?”
“Yeah. He was really kind. Whenever they used me as bait he insisted on going with. He said it was so we could save me for really bad missions, but I knew it was to protect me. They let him get away with it because he was such a good shot, I think.  Everyone liked him. When the rest of The Group was asleep we'd talk by the fire. Chiyo was afraid of horses," you tell Ellie with a small smile. “Was about the only thing he was afraid of.”
You don't tell her everything. You don't tell of the tender way he fucked you in the wee hours of the morning before The Group rose most mornings. How he whispered that he missed his dead wife and would never dishonor her memory by kissing you. But you hadn’t minded, you understood and you’d both been gentle with each other.
You’d enjoyed getting lost in the sensation of him. Of his cock in your mouth, of your cunt stuffed full of him. The rhythmic sensation of sex that took you out of your body and away from your every day horrors.
You remember how he would hold you, tears sliding onto your collar as he spilled himself onto your belly whimpering his dead wife’s name. How he would thank you over and over with your hand at the base of his skull, mouth against his shoulder while you quietly sobbed your own gratitude.
"After a few months he told me he was escaping. He'd heard about Jackson City and that's where he was headed. He wanted to bring me to see if we could find my Mom."
"Holy shit,” Ellie breathes. “Where is he now?"
"He didn't make it," you tell her tightly.
And now the shield is back in your voice and eyes and she must sense it. Ellie doesn’t press this, seems to understand that there is more there. With a teenagers’ sensibilities and a teenager’s romanticism she asks you her next question.
"Were you in love with him?"
Chiyo is a faint memory, a watercolor blur if you think about him in too much detail. When you try to recall things like the scar over his left eyebrow or the dragon tattoo on his inner thigh. But these are just pieces of him. They aren't him. 
When you think of Chiyo there is a warmth. But it's the warmth that comes from having a benevolent savior. One who never told you that you were in his debt. Yes, you cared for him. Of course you did. He was gentle and he was kind and his heart was soft.
"No," you say firmly. "He was nice though and I cared about him. Probably as close to love as I'll ever get." 
You and Ellie are quiet for a long time.
“I tried saving a bit boy once,” she finally offers. “His name was Sam. Tried rubbing my blood on him. Thought it would save him. It didn’t. He turned and his brother had to kill him before he killed himself.”
You don’t allow yourself to cry. You know that isn’t what Ellie needs right now.
“I’m the reason so many people are dead,” Ellie explains when you say nothing in return. “My Mom died having me. Riley… Tess… Sam…Henry... Ellie’s voice is doing that same detached thing yours does. “Sometimes I honestly think it would be better if I was never born.”
You can’t help the way your arms leap out in front of you to gather the girl into your arms. She tries to fight you on it, flinching from the contact before your unrelenting arms pull her into a tight squeeze, tugging her into your lap. Angry tears slip down her red cheeks, her cries breaking free as you wrestle her into a bear hug.
“I’m so glad you exist, Ellie.”
And then all the fight is gone from her body and she’s sobbing quietly into your shoulder, her tiny frame shaking. You hold her against you, wanting your adoration and affection to move through your body into hers so she knows how much she’s wanted.
“The world would be so much worse without you in it,” you assure her honestly. “You’re special, Ellie. And not because you’re immune. Because you’re smart and brave and funny and you make people like me feel like we’re worth something.”
Her arms wrap around your neck, face in your shoulder and she allows you to continue holding her, rocking her gently in your lap as if she were your own teenage daughter.
“And yes you’re stubborn and you can be annoying,” you add, trying to lighten the mood. “But there’s no one I like talking to as much as I like talking to you. You made me look forward to breakfasts in the dining hall because it meant I got to speak to you.”
“You’re just saying that,” she sniffles, arms loosely circling your neck.
“You don’t like liars, right?” You remind her. “Well I’m not lying. Plus, I know Joel loves you and he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy that loves many people so you must be pretty great.”
Ellie gives a shallow huff of amusement in your shoulder.
“And I know Maria and Tommy adore you just as much if not more than I do. And if you opened up a little more with the kids around here I know they’d love you just as much as we do because you’re a wonderful person. The world would be so much worse without your light, Ellie. You bring light to the darkness.”
You continue rocking her for several moments, waiting until her sobs turn into hiccups and then gentle swallows. Finally she pulls back from you, almost embarrassed at the emotional display. She shuffles back onto the bed, picking at the loose string hanging from her pillow.
“I think I’m cursed.”
“Hey now that’s not true,” you insist. “I’m here aren’t I? How is that a curse? If anything it’s a blessing.”
She gives you a weak smile that you return.
“C’mon, let’s go and finish the pop tarts.”
“We’ll have to start all over again,” Ellie almost whines.
“Then I guess I’ll be staying here a little longer.”
Ellie wipes at her blotchy face, running her hands down her cheeks before nodding and standing abruptly.  You two make it back into the kitchen, surprised to see Joel standing there. His broad shoulders ripple as he works on something in front of him, his back to you.
Ellie sails over to him, her eyes wide when she sees what he’s done. “Wait are those the pop tarts?”
“Yep.”
“I thought they were ruined.”
“Yours were,” Joel shrugs, spreading icing onto one of the homemade pop tarts. “Mine went okay.”
You feel as if you’ve been physically pushed.
Joel baked?
Ellie snags one of the still warm pastries from the plate as Joel starts running the cloth over the counter and wiping the crumbs into the sink. You look at the joy on Ellie’s face as she takes a bite.
“Holy shit, Joel, these are so fucking good.”
“Language,” Joel admonishes over his shoulder, though there’s nothing harsh in it. He turns around, hip resting against the counter.
“I’m gonna have you do all my baking,” Ellie continues as if she hasn’t heard him.  “I’ll just be your taste tester.”
You want to grin at this but all you can do is stare at Joel and the soft way he’s smiling down at Ellie. This open look of adoration you so rarely see. Like there’s this secret Joel inside the mean Joel shell that the privileged few witness.
Joel could never disappoint me.
Joel seems to feel your eyes on him because he blinks over at you, dark eyes darting around your face. His expression is unreadable, but there’s nothing cruel or cold in it. He’s just looking at you, almost as if he’s trying to figure you out as well.  
“Well looks like we’re all set here so I should go,” you start awkwardly, suddenly feeling strangely light headed. Joel steps towards you, brows rising.
“You could stay for a dr-“ Joel begins, but you’ve already made your way to the front door, pulling on your boots and jacket.
Your hands are trembling for some reason and you think it must be all this emotional turmoil you’ve shared with Ellie. It has you feeling vulnerable and exposed and you want to escape home to the safety of your bed, away from soulful brown eyes and soft smiles.
“Ellie you wanna grab breakfast before patrols?”  you ask, studiously ignoring Joel who stands next to her looking at you. You don’t want her to think you’re rushing off and forgetting about her.
“Sure,” Ellie says brightly before motioning to the plate of pastries. “You want any of these to go?”
“Nah, you enjoy them,” you insist with a flash of a smile. “You worked hard.”
You don’t look backwards as you rush out the door of their home and down the sidewalk of Rancher Street, convinced you can feel Joel’s dark gaze on you the entire way.
-----------------------------
secondary a/n: The other parts I wanted to include in this chapter were gonna bloat this installment into over 10k and I wasn't even finished so I had to break it up!
CHAPTER 11 SPOILERS BELOW THE JOEL
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in chapter eleven there be smut.
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starberry-cupcake · 2 days
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I've been reading, but didn't have time to sit down and do this, so you're getting a bit of a mess in this one, sorry about that!
I want to clarify, before starting, that if I ask questions to the void in these posts, or if I wonder very loudly about something, I'm not really looking for answers immediately nor am I doubting that things will be explained later, I promise I trust the process. If something's going to be explained, somewhere in the books, I'll get there eventually, I promise I will. You have probably noticed by now but, if you give me a hint, I'm gonna grab onto it for dear life, so better not give me anything at all. Just leave me here to die, I beg you.
previously, in harrowberry the ninth:
this happened
currently, chapters 17-19:
I'm gonna start by the end, actually
which maybe is fitting for this book
but I'll start by the end because I have a new theory and I feel this one in my bones
(pun intended)
I might be totally off but I'm gonna say it anyway because I'm excited about this one
so much so that you'll get no memes while I explain it
it's about G and P
yes, I know, I'm fixated with that, but hear me out
I think Lyctortus isn't actually called Ortus
I think his name is Gideon
let me explain
at the end of chapter 19 (I'll get there, but I need this off my chest, I really do) harrow asks mercygirl why ortus the first wants her dead
to which mercygirl distractedly answers "who?"
that's the last thing I read so far, but it got my wheels turning so fast I came running to write it down
I thought "wait, what if, just like ortus is replacing gideon in the gideon-less re-telling, the name is also a replacement?"
so I went to the character list and lyctortus's cavalier was called pyrrha
so what if they're G and P
Gideon and Pyrrha the Second
and what if the Gideon in the paper was this guy
so this is not a case of Ortus 1 and 2 but of Gideon 1 and 2
not!dulcinea told our gideon "you're very brave—a bit like another Gideon I used to know. But you're prettier in the eyes"
which is, all things considered, actually funny, because it's a reversal of what mercygirl was saying, that yandere twin and harrow aren't as pretty as their predecessors
I'm gonna risk looking like a fool later and calling this now because I really feel this one
again, let me clarify, I'm not asking you to tell me whether I'm right or wrong or anything at all, I'm just placing my bets with myself
and I know starting by the end isn't really the best way to go about a recap, but I think I'm on to something
MOVING BACK, to chapter 17
harrow starts looking into mercygirl for her new and probably not improved diary, because she knows less things now
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augustine the saint of annoyance tells harrow that mercygirl and him are the oldest lyctors in the band and that it took generations for these space planet destroyers to assemble
emperor john silver tells harrow that his stupid nicknames that don't fit were meant to represent the cavaliers and not the necros
of course augustine's brother was patient, he had to put up with augustine
mercygirl is also a body expert
an anatomist, if you will
which will come in handy later/earlier (later in the reading order, earlier in the timeline order)
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augustine says that he didn't bother learning that because the only use for it would be to kill lyctors
tbh it'd come in handy right now that I want to kill him, but I digress
here, harrow again mentions that ortus the first (also known as lyctortus, also known as allegedly gideon the first, also known as I'm super super sure of this you guys) wants her dead
CHAPTER 18
we're back on canaan house in the gideon-less version
these are the chapters I'm having the most fun with, which wasn't what I expected
I don't know why, I really like this whole re-written mystery thing
the slasher film vibes have doubled this time
I keep drawing parallels and enjoying my time with these old and new friends
and, talking about old and new friends, judith is dead
remember judith? remember how she died?
it wasn't like this
in this gideon-less version, instead of becoming besties with the sixth, harrow and ortus have become besties with the fifth
because 1) the fifth didn't die and 2) the fifth is in a polycule with ortus
with gideon there, they befriended the sixth because gideon saw camilla fight 5 seconds and was like "she's friend shaped :)"
so, the fifth and the ninth are taking care of judith's corpse
she was shot repeatedly with a carbine rifle
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harrow says "it would have been like being set upon by a ghost out of time"
gonna put that in the 3d model
martita is outside and she's the only pseudo witness to this situation
the gideon-less version of the deaths so far is being handled like this
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martita says to harrowbean "why am I here?"
she explains that they were doing the two door test thingy and, while she was in the other room, judith was shot
now, here's the thing
I thought the Sleeper that had been mentioned was the construct thing but no, it's not
it's a new thing
I'm picturing sorta this
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it very well could be a person though
it's person shaped
huh
it's in a coffin where it sleeps unless it's woken up, but they don't know how it wakes up, because martita went to town kicking and punching the coffin after judith was obliterated and nothing happened
and what keeps it contained, snow white style, isn't plex glass, plex or glass
ortus proceeds to say a eulogy
martita says "Is this really how it happens?" like we've been hearing all this time
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harrowbean tries to make her feel better by telling her that, at least judith died quickly
mmm...about that
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martita says "No. That's not...Don't know why I thought...No."
martita doesn't know judith died slowly and painfully and wrong about everything btw, she died first, it memory serves
but still, savage
harrow regrets not telling ortus to take the pledge of silence and says "but only a very obedient idiot of a cavalier would have stuck to that"
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she's your obedient idiot, though, harrow
so, the rundown is this:
the sleeper can move
the sleeper can pass necromantic wards
the sleeper shouldn't be waken
people don't know what wakes it
it has a rifle
the sleeper is lying on top of sword that's a two-hander
me, having breakfast while reading this
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I didn't mention this but
harrow and abby say that judith was killed by a deadly shot and then was subsequently used for target practice and left like a colander without any reason for it
judith disrespected camilla, so
that's what you get, bitch
CHAPTER 19
we travel in time, but in the timeline of the emperor's bolthole
because WHY NOT, AT THIS POINT
we're keeping track anyway *picks back up the timeline I keep discarding and re-using*
this one is 10 months before the emperor johnny boy is ended, so this is before what we've been reading
we are told the following essential info:
harrow has written a letter for yandere twin in case of harrow's death that says: "Get what joy you can from my corpse, you devious bitch"
filed under potential resignation letter drafts
apparently a lyctor can live without food but not without water
so harrowcita is getting herself a sopita
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and then lyctortus also known as I'm sure he's gideon the first stabs her
this tiny baby kitten with her sopita
man has no heart
no decency
no decorum
not his real name, according to me
mercygirl helps harrow with a lot of skill (those anatomy skills we talked about) but not much empathy
she tells alleged gideon who goes by ortus, when he says "I do things face-to-face" that "that is what got you into trouble nineteen years ago"
HELLO TIMELINE
nineteen years ago takes us back to the whole leader of the BOE going missing and gideon's mom drifting into space and the person sent with the eggs and all that
well, the eggs thing isn't directly related yet but I'm relating it
especially since there were lies involved and somebody sent to placate another somebody
DUDE CAN YOU IMAGINE
IF HE WAS INVOLVED WITH GIDEON'S MOM IN SOME WAY
AND OUR GIDEON IS NAMED AFTER THIS GIDEON????
LIKE ON PURPOSE????
HELLO?????????
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AGAIN, NOBODY TELL ME, I'M ASKING AT THE VOID
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE IMPULSE OF TELLING ME BUT DON'T DO IT
I'm making up telenovela theories about how this gideon could be involved into our gideon's mom business and our gideon being named after him
and gideon's superpowers of being hercules having something to do with all this
I need to stop before I say too much and then feel embarrassed at my theories
ALSO
gideon ortus wants harrow's sword
harrowbean doesn't want to give it to him
it is at this point when mercygirl says "who?" at harrow's question about "ortus", so we end how we begun, because today it's that kind of day
also, another day without her coming home
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I may be late but boy do I have theories. And yeah, nobody tell me any spoilers, please. Let me make a fool of myself.
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ladylokilaufeyson5 · 2 days
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Where The Shadows Dance (iii)
Bodyguard!Azriel x AutumnDaughter!Reader
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CHAPTER III: The Princess
SUMMARY: Azriel and the Princess of the Autumn Court have spent two weeks together now, and yet Azriel's shell is one not easily broken
WARNINGS: once again more misogyny! yay! and also both y/n and azriel can be real bitchy
NOTE: once again special thank you to my moots @icey--stars and @fieldofdaisiies for reading over my work! <33
WORDS: 1.7K
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You sat at your desk, pouring over the book you were currently studying. It was the most thorough study on rare Fae abilities you could find, although it was not thorough enough to understand the shadowsinger who sat behind you, reading a book of his own. No, Azriel was a different puzzle altogether.
You had truly enjoyed spending time with the Night Court members — Cassian was an absolute menace and you loved him already; Rhysand was a cunning leader, and you were fascinated by his rule of the Night Court; Feyre was beautiful inside and out, and her powers intrigued you; Amren was scary, plain and simple — although she was also wickedly intelligent; and Azriel, while soft-spoken, added insightful comments to each conversation.
Well, at least he did, until his court members had left two weeks ago. Now he just seemed to brood everywhere he followed you. Indeed, that was what the male was currently doing, his eyes on the window, a frown tugging at his lips and brows, book open but unread. You wished the book in front of you would tell you whether it was a shadowsinger trait, or simply an Azriel trait.
“Stop brooding,” you chided him.
Azriel looked up at you, brows still furrowed, a slightly annoyed expression crossing over his face. “I’m not brooding,” he huffed.
“You are so. Your broodiness is distracting me from my reading,” you replied with a delicate sniff.
Azriel rolled his eyes and didn’t respond. You weren’t sure whether you preferred this side of him — of course, you definitely enjoyed the side of him you experienced within the company of the Night Court, but something about his broodiness… Well, it was kind of hot.
“I can’t read with your brooding,” you sighed. “You’re crowding this room with negative thoughts.”
“That’s not even a thing,” he muttered, and you pretended not to hear.
You closed your book and stood up, the action prompting Azriel to rise as well. You watched him carefully, the male watching you right back. Those hazel eyes bored into yours, and you could have sworn you saw a flicker of something, beyond cold disinterest.
“Would you like to accompany me on a walk?” you asked, knowing that he would have to agree.
Azriel dipped his head slightly, ever the polite and respectful male, despite his sullenness. “Of course, Lady. Where to?”
“I was thinking the main street–”
“Not this again,” Azriel groaned, rolling his eyes. 
You crossed your arms and glared at the Illyrian male. Unfortunately, your father had given Azriel a rather long list of rules, dictating what you could and could not do, where you could and could not go, who you could see and could not see, and on and on and on. You honestly thought that your father had more important things to do than write a silly list to trap his daughter with, but apparently not.
One of the places you were strictly prohibited from visiting was anywhere outside the castle. Not that you’d really ever done that much before, as your father liked to keep you ‘protected’, but even with the security of your Illyrian bodyguard, you were not allowed beyond the palace walls. To be fair, the ‘attempt on your life’ — as your father liked to put it — did happen during a parade on the main streets, but you had been perfectly fine.
“I don’t understand why—” you began, but Azriel interrupted, politeness gone.
“Your father strictly stated that you are not to leave the castle,” he reminded you harshly.
You scowled at the shadowsinger. He seemed so much more… willing to comply whenever his friends were around. Now that he was alone with you, it was as if his heart was made of stone, and he felt nothing — no compassion for you at all.
“So you will aid in the entrapment of another female?” you frowned. “Didn’t you try to save your friend Morrigan from the same fate?”
You knew you’d struck a nerve when a sliver of glittering rage shone in his eyes. You felt a tad bad, as it was a low blow — really, there wasn't anything he could do to help you — but you were honestly sick and tired of being stuck in the castle. Had the shadowsinger not been present, you would have snuck out already, as you tended to do quite a bit. You were lucky enough to have inherited your mother’s ability to create perfect glamours, and it came in handy when you wanted to sneak out.
But the shadowsinger would not leave you be. He shadowed your every step, always lingering and watching. He was clearly taking this bodyguard role seriously — too seriously, in your opinion.
You sighed at the shadowsinger and crossed your arms. “The Orchards?” you suggested.
Azriel’s polite mask slipped in place, but you could still sense his anger at your words. “Of course, Lady Vanserra.”
 You decided not to worry yourself about his feelings. It didn’t matter, anyway. He would be gone as soon as this threat was terminated, and then you would have to marry whatever nobility your father deemed worthy. You’d never see Azriel or the Night Court members again.
At least, that’s what you were supposed to think. But you couldn’t stop yourself from daydreaming about running away from the Autumn Court and living in Velaris, the City of Starlight, for the rest of your immortal life.
You allowed Azriel to lead you down to the Royal Orchards, while also trying to converse with him. As per usual, his answers were short and clipped, perhaps more so due to your hurtful words. However, no matter what you asked, you just couldn’t break past his walls.
“You don’t like my brothers very much, do you?” you inquired as you walked through the apple trees.
“I do not know them well enough to form an opinion,” Azriel answered politely.
You snorted, knowing that was not true. No one really liked your brothers, as most of them were too similar to your father for anyone’s liking, even yours. You only had two brothers who you actually liked, because they treated you like a person, not an object.
You were only six when Lucien left the Autumn Court, but you remembered him fondly. He was easily the nicest of your brothers, with much more of a resemblance to your mother than to your father. And it wasn’t just physical likeliness — Lucien showed the compassion and kindness that your mother did, which was why he was one of your favourite brothers, even if you hadn’t seen him in decades.
Your other favourite brother, contrary to popular belief, was Eris. You knew for a fact that Azriel despised Eris, as most people did. They just didn’t know him like you did. Eris had a soft spot for you, a side that no one besides your mother ever saw. Yes, while you could admit that he was a sadistic asshole to most people, he’d never been anything but a great older brother to you. He’d taught you how to protect your mind from Daemati, and he’d also trained you in combat for a few years, until your father had found out.
The rest of your brothers took after your father, so they paid you no mind. You didn’t really care, as they were all dim-witted brutes anyway. Although it would have been nice to have a few more family members who actually cared.
“Do you like your brothers?” Azriel inquired.
You blinked at the question, then shrugged. “Eris and Lucien, although I haven’t seen Lucien in decades.” 
Azriel nodded and said nothing more, and you internally groaned. Every time you thought you’d come close to breaking down his walls, he would go silent and, once again, disinterested. You wondered why he acted this way.
An apple hung on a branch ahead of you, and you reached up, only for your fingers to brush against the bottom of the fruit. You frowned in frustration, tempted to burn the whole branch off, when a gloved hand reached up and grabbed the apple. Azriel held it out to you, and you took it from him without a word.
“Why are you so gloomy?” you asked.
Azriel paused, looking at you boredly. “I’m not gloomy.”
“You definitely are,” you hummed, turning the apple in your hand. “You seem bored.”
Azriel rolled his eyes. “I came here under the impression that I would have to protect you against a possible assassination, rather than walking around and doing nothing with you.”
“I know of a few things we could do together,” you purred, looking at Azriel from beneath lowered lashes.
Azriel’s stare hardened in annoyance, and you grinned at him. It was moments like these that you loved, when you could get under his skin with just a few words. It happened more often than Azriel would probably willingly admit.
You sighed deeply and picked up your skirts, heading back to your quarters, Azriel only a few steps behind. The castle came closer much too quickly, and a plan began to formulate in your mind. You took the sweeping staircases up to your chambers, and opened the door to your bathroom. Azriel was still only a step behind you, so you raised an eyebrow at him.
“Are you going to join me?” you asked.
Azriel’s eyes took in the bathtub, and a mortified expression took over his face for a split second, before it was once again neutral.
“My apologies, Lady Vanserra,” Azriel murmured. 
He turned away, but you caught a glimpse of red on his cheeks as he shut the door, leaving you alone in your bathroom. You smiled to yourself and began to undress, the layers of your dress fluttering to the floor.
You walked over to the furthest wall from the door and tapped lightly on the red and orange wallpaper, feeling around for the secret nook. Once found, you pulled out the red tunic and black pants, something your father would probably have a fit over if he caught you wearing. 
You turned back to the door, sensing Azriel’s presence. You heard the whisper of a page being turned over, so you grabbed your gown and a pair of scissors.
TAGLIST: @honeybee54321 @marigold-morelli @lucky7rosie @itsswritten @paankhaleyaar @bubybubsters @5onedirection5 @lilah-asteria @sheblogs @thelov3lybookworm @blushingfawnsposts @thisiskaylin @morganisheree @sleepylunarwolf @bakananya @bookishbroadwaybish @namelesssav @glitterypirateduck @sfhsgrad-blog @ash-mcj @feyres-fireheart @ib525 @azrielswhore @copenhagenspirit @eternallyelvish @teenagellamaangel @thisiskaylin @littleladdty @tele86 @talesofadragon @fandom-crashlanding @mybestfriendmademe
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You Call It Madness But I Call It Love
Chapter 13: You Made a Plaything Out of Romance
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Chapter 13: You Made a Plaything Out of Romance
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV
Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter thirteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Word Count: 7.3K (And every word hurts, except the beginning the beginning is nice and then it goes downhill)
Warnings: I'm going to label this one 18+. This one is sad guys. References to sex, Implied Sex, Nudity (lying in bed with someone the morning after), Brief explicit sexual encounter (it's like one sentence), Self-detrimental thoughts, Cursing, Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
A/N: This one took me a while to write, because it was painful. I can neither confirm nor deny that I cried when I wrote it. But I hope y'all hate it as much as I do.
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1984
Soft light from under your floral curtains kisses your face as you wake from sleep, your arms tightening around Ben with a happy sigh as the memories of the night before blanket you in a soft cocoon of love and warmth. You had imagined that night many times over the years you'd been with Ben, but none of them compared to the real thing.
A dull throb of pain coats your limbs and body, that serves as a gentle reminder of exactly how you spent the late hours and the early hours of the morning with Ben, but it was a happy reminder. The memories of last night were passionate and more wonderful than you could have imagined. All thoughts of leaving him wiped away by one night filled with love that was all you wanted for so long. Because now there wasn’t a point in leaving, now that you had the one person you’d wanted since you were eight, you’d never leave him ever again.
You can feel the soft drag of Ben's hand against your back, coaxing you into a peaceful glow of contentment. You were laying on his muscular chest, your head directly over his heart, listening to the steady beat, your arm wrapped in an possessive hold over his body and you never wanted to leave. You wanted to exist in this moment the rest of your life, laying here with the man who'd had your heart for so long, finally at peace and finally allowing yourself to show him how much you loved him and how much he meant to you. Apart of you couldn't believe that this was real, and was worried that you'll wake up and the bed will be cold and Ben will be gone.
"Good morning." Ben's voice rumbles up through his chest. He moves his free hand to push back some of the hair that has fallen into your face, a content smile gracing his perfect lips as he allows his hand to brush over your cheeks.
"Good morning." You smile, leaning into his touch, before you press a kiss directly over his heart. "How long have you been awake?"
"Not too long."
"You didn't want to wake me up?"
"No." He murmurs, his hand still stroking your back in a soft smooth motion, that trails sunshine down your spine. "You're cute when you're asleep.
"Only when I'm asleep?" You tease, propping yourself up so you can look in his eyes, your hair tickling over his chest and you're sure that you must look ridiculous, but you don't care.
He looks better this morning than usual, you decide, noting the sweep of his dark hair over his brow and the sleepy haze in his eyes. His lips are a little red and swollen from when you kissed him and you assume your own look the same.
"No." Ben shakes his head, slowly, smiling down at you, and you can't help but kiss him, brushing your lips against his and letting him set your nerve endings on fire. Ben's happy smile against your mouth makes you want to melt into him and never leave, to curl up inside his heart and let yourself be filled with the glow of his love. “How are you?”
“Good, better than good.” You tighten your arm over his chest. “Just a little sore-“ You smile against his lips.
You hadn’t meant it like a bad thing, if anything, you liked it a little bit,  but judging by Ben’s reaction to those words you understood that he took it the wrong way. 
Ben’s eyes widen, his own smile faltering. He grabs the blanket wrapped around your waist raising it, so his eyes can trace your body to look for bruises. “Did I hurt you?” Ben’s eyes lock with yours once more, voice tinged with worry in a way that makes your heart skip a beat.
“No you didn’t.” Your hand gently falls on his cheek to reassure him. “It was perfect.” For a second you're afraid you said too much, but then Ben’s crooked smile breaks something inside of you.
“Yeah, it was.” He whispers, turning to press a kiss to your palm.
The look in his eyes is soft, filled with so many unspoken things that it makes you dizzy. He’s never once looked at you like that and you know you’ll never get used to it. Because he’s looking at you the way you saw the elderly couple look at each other all those years ago, when you longed for the same thing to happen to you, longed for a man to look at you that way. And you’re sure you’re looking at him the same way, because now it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to hide how you feel about him. There’s no more frustration or anger, there’s only love that crashes over your head and pulls you out to sea with Ben.
 “And It’s a good sore.” You smile sheepishly, cheeks blushing under his gaze. “I wouldn’t mind-um-getting used to it.”
“Oh really?”
You nod, hand still cupping Ben’s cheek.
“Huh.” Ben's smile turns into a mischievous smirk.
All of a sudden he flips you over so that you’re on your back with him hovering over you, smirk more pronounced than it was a few seconds ago. As he does so, your bed makes a terrible creaking sound and shifts to the right precariously on its last leg, literally.
You snort, pressing your lips together, body shaking with stifled laughs. Ben presses his head to your shoulder laughing too, the rich sound of his voice sending tingles down you spine. His eyes shine with laughter as he leans down to kiss you again.
“You owe me a new bed.” You mutter against his lips.
“I think we are both responsible for breaking it.” Ben's hands stroke along your sides, before he drops back down to kiss you.
“Well as slutty as you are I’d think that you would know how to avoid breaking one.” You tease raising a hand to brush his dark hair out of his eyes and Ben leans into your touch. You loved how he responded to you, it reminded you so much of how you felt whenever he touched you, like he couldn't get enough and he never wanted it to stop.
“Did you just call me a slut?” He pulls back with a frown.
“Yes. I did.” You laugh at his sullen expression.
Even when he frowns he's handsome. How did I get this lucky?
"You're lucky you're so cute." Ben sighs. “I’ve broken a few, but I will say I had the most fun breaking this one.”
His words make your heart thud madly in your chest in understanding. It confirms the thing that you had been thinking since you woke up, that last night meant everything to Ben too, that it wasn’t just sex for him. That he wanted to be there with you. And it made you smile wider.
Ben’s eyes are locked with yours, so much love and care slipping through his gaze that it makes you dizzy. “Next time we can break my bed. Just so we’re even.” He finishes capturing your lips with his, the words next time circling on your head on repeat.
You kiss him back eagerly, wanting to be lost forever in the warmth of the two of you together, because it’d finally happened, you’d finally gotten your Ben.
Your fingers scratch against the back of his head softly as you gaze up into his bright green eyes. You couldn’t believe it, after all these years he was yours, your best friend and now the man you love with all your heart. Your entire chest soars with emotion, smile stretching across your face so wide that you knew it probably wasn’t attractive but you couldn’t stop. You were so blissfully happy for the first time in years and you wanted to share that happiness with him the rest of your life.
“What?” Ben smiles down at you almost tenderly, so different than the way he looked when it wasn’t the two of you. One of his hands strokes the curve of your hip to bring your leg up to wrap around his waist the other brushes your wild tangles from your face, tracing the dips and curves of your cheek and jaw with a fingertip as if he wishes to commit each one to memory. He touches you with a reverence that you’d never imagine possible, a gentleness that is so different than Soldier Boy that it takes your breath away, like you’re a marble statue and he wishes to understand your beauty.
You move both of your hands to cup his cheeks feeling the wonderful scratch of stubble against the smooth skin, smile still firmly in place. And you finally say the three words that have haunted you since you were children. “I love you.”
Ben blinks. “What?”
“I love you Ben.” Your heart thuds madly in your chest remembering the past 24 hours when he made you feel special and loved, just how you’d imagined it so many times.
You didn’t think you’d ever be able to stop smiling, ever be able to stop feeling so warm as if you were catching fire.
Ben doesn’t move, his muscles tensing.
“Ben?” You’re still smiling, hoping that he’ll say it back, expecting that. Because how could he not? How could he not and be so caring and attentive? How could he make love to you like that, hold you close, take care of you after, dance with you, buy you a thoughtful gift, and take you out for your birthday each year and not love you? How could he look at you like you were the only person in the world and not feel the same way?
“I-“ He looks at you earnestly eyes soft in the morning light, his touch warm against your cheek, as if drinking you in. "I-" But then the softness in his green eyes is gone replaced by a familiar hardness that makes the warm feeling evaporate in your chest. Ben glances at the alarm clock on your bedside table. “Fuck is that the time?”
“What?” You ask confused by the change.
“I have a meeting with Legend.” He rolls off of you, pulling his face from your hands, and out of bed making it buck and shudder, not embarrassed by his nakedness. It was like he suddenly needed to be as far away from you as possible, and it was like someone dropped a bucket of ice water over your head.
You sit up, clutching the blankets to your chest in confusion. He moves around the room trying to find his clothes where you practically ripped them off his body last night.
“You do? I thought you just had the premiere tonight?”
Ben never scheduled things the same day as a premiere. He liked to spend the early part of the day drinking and imbibing in whatever he wanted so he didn’t have to be sober when he got there. He didn’t like to deal with the reporters, fans, and other people sober. Honestly, you didn't either, but you'd rather acquire a buzz while you were there, rather than before.
But today was different. You were hoping that this time it meant you and Ben would spend the next hours together enjoying one another before you had to go, spending as much time together in bed as possible. Hoping that at the premiere maybe you could announce your relationship, not that the press deserved that, but after all these years you wanted people to know that Ben was yours and you believed that he would be happy to say that you were his. Especially given what he had said before taking you to bed.
“No. I’ve got to talk to him about some shit for that thing in Nicaragua. That fucker Stan is gonna be there-“ Ben walks around the room picking up articles of clothing and refusing to make eye contact with you.
“Are you sure? I thought we could go to that diner on the corner and get some breakfast.“ You try to catch his eye, but Ben turns away as if he's looking for his shoes, hard to believe given the fact that they were sitting in the opposite direction. "You really liked it last time-"
“Sorry baby I can’t.”
The nickname “baby” is like taking a bullet to the chest.  Ben never called you that, Sweetheart yes, Doll, yes, but never baby. It was reserved for the other women. The endless cycle of women that Ben bedded and then never talked to again. It was his way of putting distance between them and him and you knew that better than anyone. And the fact that he called you that made uncertainty pulse in the back of your throat. You try to shake it off and try again.
“Oh well. You’re still picking me up for the premiere right? We always go together-“
“I’m not sure how long the meeting will run so I’ll see you there.” He won’t meet your eye as he pulls up his pants, the harsh sound of his zipper like a slap in the face.
“But Ben-“ Your start to say, your heart sinking.
“I gotta fucking go.” Ben snaps.
“Oh, Okay.”
He looks in your general direction one more time, not quite meeting your eyes, and not apologizing, but then he turns and leaves the room, not even taking the time to put on his shirt or his shoes.
What just happened?
When you finally force yourself to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, you see your reflection in the mirror, hair a tangled mass, lips bright red and swollen from Ben, and the prominent mark he left behind in the shadow of your jaw that marked you as his.
As you stand there examining your reflection, the pain of his rejection hits you all over again, causing you to crumble against the counter, hands tightening so hand in the marble vanity that it comes apart in your hands.
You weren't sure if it was a rejection, rather it was the abruptness of how he left that scared you. How easily he slipped back into the façade of Soldier Boy after spending the entire night with you and making you believe that every moment was special.
The memory of last night sends a wave of warmth through your body, goosebumps prickling against your skin. But this time a cold shock of the way he left strikes your heart.
Maybe he really did have a meeting. But then why did he have to leave immediately after I told him that I loved him?
The memory of how happy you were in that moment makes you cry harder, when you told him the one thing you'd longed to for so long, while he looked at you with so much love that it made you feel more happy than you ever had.
You knew that Ben had a difficult time expressing that and feelings in general, but the way he acted last night at dinner and after when he made love to you, spoke greater than that. He had to love you, had to care about you.
Didn't he?
*******************************************************
"Indigo over here!"
"Indigo who are you with tonight?"
"Indigo what do you have to say about the rumors of you and Noir being in a relationship?"
The questions are coupled with flashes of brilliant light as you wave and force a wide smile on the red carpet. Tonight Legend had insisted that you wear the new supe suit he had designed for you, the one that didn't require a hood and the only thing that hid your identity was a black eye mask that looked suspiciously like the red one Countess wore.
But you weren't focused on that, or the reporters, all you could think of was Ben.
He hadn't called and hadn't answered any of the three phone calls that you placed to his apartment at the time you guessed he would be home getting ready. You even left messages, but he still never called.
Each minute you stayed away from him you could feel the crack in your heart growing wider and wider. You still didn't understand why he did that, why he left as soon as you said the words you wished to for so long.
You had felt like a weight had lifted from your chest when you said them, wanted to live in the warmth that followed as you gazed up at the man you loved finally able to let him know how you felt.
And then he'd run away.
You'd spent the rest of the time before the premiere trying to convince yourself that it was a coincidence, that maybe he really did have a meeting with Stan and Legend about Nicaragua. But you wondered why you weren't told about it.
Stan had been making such a big deal about it, about what it meant to finally have supes help in the military. Not to mention Stan usually liked having you at those kind of meetings, because you were able to keep Ben calm.
So then that begged the questions: Why did Ben lie? Why did he run away?
As you weave your way through the crowded lobby of the movie theater you spot Ben up ahead, his back was to you, but then you freeze halfway to him. His muscular arm is wrapped around Countess's waist, pulling her into his side so tightly that her free hand is resting on the front of his supe suit in the middle of his chest where you had pressed a kiss to hours ago. He leans down to whisper into her ear and she laughs, before whispering something back that makes Ben's hand squeeze her hip.
All of a sudden you're transported back to your 16th birthday, when Ben showed up with Missy Callahan, who flaunted him right under your nose. But this is worse.
It's worse because you can't think of anything else but last night, when Ben kissed you, held you close, made you feel more loved and appreciated than you ever had. When he made every moment you spent together feel special, when he made you feel like you were the only woman in the world.
Tears build behind your eyes as you stand there staring at them, all the other patrons passing by in shades of multicolored dresses and suits, with the sound of Countess's laughter echoing in your ears.
When Ben and Countess walk towards the theater you follow, hoping to catch his eye, wishing that he would look at you. They choose their seats in the front row, Countess sitting down on Ben's left, and just as you try to sit on Ben's right, Gunpowder slides into the seat on Ben's right, your usual seat.
"I was actually going to sit there." You say, and this time Ben looks away from Countess to see you for the first time. You wait to see some kind of recognition in his eyes, see some semblance of the man you woke up with in your bed, but you see none of the warmth he had earlier.
He looks indifferent, and the frustration and anger makes tears burn behind your eyes, but you keep them down.
"Sorry Indigo. The director told me to sit here because I'm in the movie." Gunpowder shrugs, but he doesn't quite meet your eyes.
Each time this had happened in the past Ben would shove either Gunpowder or Countess out of the seat so you could sit next to him, even though he hated that you usually mocked whatever movie it was endlessly. But this time Ben does nothing, only sits there.
How can he do this? How can he act like nothing happened between us? How-
The next thought is lost in another wave of emotion that crashes over your head, but you refuse to cry in front of Countess, who is the only one really looking at you. Ben's eyes are on you, but they're cold, unyielding, nothing like the soft clover they were last night when he took you to bed and made you feel special.
"Ben can we talk?" You ask.
"I don't want to miss the premiere." He replies, taking a swig from the glass full of scotch in the cupholder between him and Gunpowder.
"I think this is more important-" You begin to say.
"You should find a seat. The movie is starting." Countess interrupts with a smirk, running her hand up Ben's muscular arm where it lays on the arm between their chairs. You watch the drag of her hand and you feel like the sixteen year old girl in the monstrosity of tulle watching the boy you loved dance with another girl, who made you feel ugly and fat.
You hadn't felt like that girl in a long time, especially not in the last 24 hours when Ben made you feel beautiful and sexy in the best way. The memories of the time you spent together flash through your mind. When each time he moaned your name made you proud to know that you could do that to him, that you could cause him to fall apart, that you could leave your mark on him, make him be lost in you the way that you were lost in his every caress.
Ben doesn't say anything as the commercials begin to play behind you on the large screen, only sits there allowing Countess to touch him.
"Um- yeah. I guess I should." You whisper, swallowing the ball of emotion before shuffling away to find a seat. It's several rows back, in the aisle away from them, next to someone who smells like they've bathed in whiskey.
And damn it all it does is remind you of Ben. Your eyes don't leave him and Countess where they sit and each time you watch them whisper and hear her giggle you feel yourself sink lower and lower into the pit of despair.
Finally when the movie is over you try to chase after Ben, to corner him because you want to know why he's doing this, why he's acting this way, why he's finally allowing Countess to have him the way that she always tried to in the past. The exact thing that he and you mocked her for late at night when the two of you were talking at your apartment. Ben hated her almost as much as you did, or you thought he did.
But he expertly avoids you, like he knows you're following him, given his super-hearing it didn't seem that far from the truth. You follow him through the theater and into the banquet hall where the afterparty is occurring, ignoring the clinking of glasses, the soft music from the band on the stage, and the laughter coming from the people around you who are too drunk already to remember any of this.
Something you wish you were, drunk that is. You didn’t want to forget last night, you just wanted to know why Ben was acting this way. You didn't want forget the way he touched you, the way he felt, the way he made everything else melt away so that it was just the two of you, exactly what you had longed for. You wanted to understand.
Because maybe I did misjudge what last night was, but I couldn't have. The memory of this morning before he left blankets your mind in a cocoon of warmth all over again. You don't look at someone like that, hold them close like that, agree that last night was perfect if it was just sex.
The thought made you irrationally angry.
"Indigo." You hear someone say and touch your arm.
"Huh?" You turn to see Dr. Vogelbaum. He was wearing a dark blue suit, perfectly tailored, with a red tie. Very patriotic, but also surprising. He had never seemed the type to want to come to one of these premieres. "Dr. Vogelbaum, I didn't know you were here."
"I thought I'd come and see what all the fuss was about." He smiles tightly. "Would you like to dance?"
"Um-" You look over the crowds of people dancing in the center of the room. You didn't feel like dancing, you still wanted to corner Ben, drag him away to another room where you could ask him what the hell was going on. He'd never done anything like this before, never iced you out even when he was really pissed off, he'd always find you.
So why was this any different? Was he angry? Upset by what I said? Why would that upset him? You think about how happy he looked when you were laying on his chest and how he leaned into your touch. I thought he’d be happy. He was happy up until I said “I love you.” So why would that change anything?
"I don't really feel like dancing-"
"Please, oblige me. A woman as beautiful as you shouldn't be here alone." Vogelbaum smiles as he pulls you onto the dance floor, ignoring your protests.
You begin to sway back and forth to the song, but everything feels wrong. It makes you think of last night, when Ben held you close and finally kissed you for the first time while your song played. And now this entire night feels like a mistake, last night feels like a mistake, everything that's happened the past forty years feels like a mistake.
He spins you away from him, and as you turn you see Ben. You didn't realize that he was standing on the edge of the dance-floor watching you and Vogelbaum. His arm is still wrapped around Countess, who is practically attached at the hip, talking with another woman in a long blue dress in front of her. You watch his jaw tighten as he takes in Vogelbaum’s hand placement, a dark look flashing in his eyes, but just as you try to identify it, Countess drags her hand up the front of his suit, grabbing his attention, and goes on tiptoe to whisper something in his ear.
How could I have been so stupid?  You think to yourself watching him drop his gaze to her and smile. The thought makes tears burn against your eyes. You couldn't understand, couldn't understand why he was doing this, ignoring you and getting friendly with Countess. And you couldn't understand how he could shift from hot to cold so suddenly, how he could act like you were the only person he saw to not even looking at you, refusing to speak to you, acting cold and indifferent. Ben had never once done that to you, had never once acted that way, even when he was mad.
Vogelbaum pulls you back into his chest, but the way his body feels against yours is wrong. "He's quite the flirt isn't he?"
"Huh?" You look up from his tie.
"Soldier Boy." He's watching them over your head, but you don't want to look at them anymore, you don't want to watch Ben with Countess and feel ugly, feel like you weren't enough, feel like the girl who only had one friend and a mother she could never please.
"Yeah." You mutter.
"Legend mentioned that you were thinking about retiring." He continues oblivious to your current state.
The mention of your plan to leave makes you remember it. You hadn't thought about it since Ben picked you up for dinner the night before, when you had been drinking and finally decided to leave, to walk away from everything and do something for yourself.
And now you wished you had. You wished that you had slammed the door in Ben's face when he came to get you last night, wished that you had told him that you were leaving, and wished that you had been strong enough to say no to him. The memories of last night come back to you, how it felt to kiss him for the first time, how happy you were because you believed he loved you as much as you loved him, how he cared about your first time being special-
The tears are so close to falling now that your jaw is  clenched together so tight that you think you hear the crunch of your teeth cracking.
"Yes. I'm retiring." You respond.
"Well, if you're looking for a change of pace I might have a job for you."
"I'm not really a scientist-"
"It wouldn't be a science job and I think you should come to the lab this week-"
"The last time I was in a lab, all this supe shit started." You snap before you stop yourself. "Forgive me for not wanting to have that happen again."
"It's not an experiment." He continues to sway the two of you back and forth. "I've been working on a project with Stan and we both thought that you could help us."
"How?"
"Well we've been focusing on the next generation of supes and what that will look like-"
"Next generation?"
"Yes. And I know someone that might benefit from meeting you. I've been working very closely with him and he needs a strong figure in his life, you have some things in common-"
"I'm not interested in being a babysitter."
"Why don't you just come by this week and meet him? I'm sure you'd hit it off-"
"I said I wasn't interested." You pull yourself from his arms. "I'm done with all of this."
"Indigo-" He reaches for your wrist.
"If you touch me again, I'm going to rip off your arm." You force a smile knowing that the cameras are still flashing, and say it low enough so that he is the only one that can hear.
Vogelbaum immediately moves back from you, putting as much space as he can and you turn back to where you saw Ben standing a few minutes ago, but he's gone.
You stand there in the middle of the dance floor for a minute, not sure what to do, so you decide to go to the bathroom to collect your thoughts. And you immediately regret your decision.
Before the door of the bathroom opens all the way you know, call it a feeling or a psychic premonition, but you do.
You wish you were wrong, but you knew Ben better than anyone, or at least you thought you did.
You can feel it in the air, hear the rapid beating of their hearts and the loud moans, smell the sour odor of sweat, but you're still not prepared for what's waiting for you. Countess's hands are braced on the white marble of the sink in front of her, Ben's hand fisted tightly in her hair, pulling her head back to where his face is buried in her throat, her own face contorted in an expression of pure ecstasy, with each snap of Ben's hips as he crushes her against the sink.
The bathroom door slams shut loudly behind you, drawing Ben's gaze to where you stand, your hands clenched tightly into fists, the skin pulled tight over your knuckles. He freezes and for a moment you think he looks sorry, but then it's gone, fading into the hardened expression he's had since you told him that you loved him.
You don't know what to feel, anger, frustration, heartbreak, and rage all form a white hot ball in the pit of your stomach. You have the sudden urge to throw up and also burn the entire building down to the ground, but you can't move, can't look away from where they stand.
"Baby why'd you stop." Countess gasps, reaching back with a hand for Ben, but he steps away from her, to zip up his pants. Countess finally looks over at where you're standing and smirks. "Oh hey y/n. I didn't know you were here."
Her face is flushed red, almost the same color of her hair as she reaches down for her pants and drags them back up her body. The proud look in her eyes makes you snap your jaw together to fight the urge to rip her in half.
“There are private rooms for that.” You keep your voice as monotone as possible, pushing down the heartbreak and the anger that burns against your skin.
“It’s much more fun when anyone can walk in. Don’t you think so Ben?” Countess reaches for Ben, but he shrugs her off.
You bite the inside of your cheek so hard that you taste blood, trying very hard not to lose control. You prided yourself on that, you hadn’t lost control in all your years as a supe.
Ben doesn't say anything.
“Get out.” You snap.
“I don’t think I will. We were in the middle of something-“ Countess's sultry smile widens. "Maybe you should leave so we can fini-"
Her body flies forward towards you, until her throat is clutched tightly between your right hand. “I’ve never liked you Countess. Other than a flash of light you're pretty worthless. Your powers the only thing that make you special, and I know that you need both of your hands to use them, right?" Your hand tightens on her throat and you know the next day she'll have bruises.
I should just kill her right now. Who would miss her?
She gasps for air, clawing against your hand, eyes wide. She'd never seen you lose control before, never seen you use your powers quite like this, and the fear in her eyes makes you feel better.
“So I suggest you get out. Before I rip them off and make you eat them.”  You snarl before throwing her in the direction of the door behind you. She stumbles forward a step, placing a hand against the bathroom door as she catches her breath. When she turns back to look at you, her eyes are flashing with malice, but you can still see the pride under it all.
“Well I’ll see you two later. Hopefully we can finish what we started.” Countess smirks at you, recovering as she saunters out.
It takes an amazing amount of willpower not to drag her back into the room and rip her head off.
Ben adjusts his suit, not meeting your gaze. And for a second you think he looks guilty, but it’s gone as soon as you see it. His ridiculous helmet is laying on the floor next to him, probably took it off before-
Your jaw clenches together remembering what you walked in on.
“Ben why are you doing this?”  You say, composing your voice as much as you can. You force yourself to look him in the eye, you want him to see how hurt you are.
“Doing what?” He crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow.
"You’re pushing me away, avoiding me, and acting like last night didn’t mean anything-"
"It didn’t.” He states. Ben's jaw is clenched tight, shoulders tense, as he begins to slip back into the façade of Soldier Boy that he adopted after you both got the serum.
Tears burn against your eyes at his sharp tone. You let out a shaky breath. "I don’t believe you. You don’t act that way, kiss me, hold my hand, make love like that and then pretend it never happened.”
“We didn’t make love, we fucked.” He snaps eyes blazing. “Don’t turn this into something that it’s not.”
 “I’m not just talking about the sex. I’m talking about dinner, the dancing, remembering my birthday, getting me pearls because you remembered I lost mine, the fact that you had them play the song we danced to when we were 18-“
“So?”
“Why are you acting like you didn’t do any of those things?”
“I’m not saying I didn’t do them. I’m saying that you’re being damn hormonal and reading into it.”
“I’m not being hormonal!” You snap. “Are you really telling me that you did all of those things just to get into my pants and that you don’t feel anything for me? That what I said to you this morning meant nothing to you? After everything we’ve been through-“
“Everything we’ve been through?” Ben spits, suddenly angry. “All I know is for the last 40 years you’ve been getting in my way. You think I care about you? I don’t care about anyone! I’m Soldier Boy. I’m America’s first fucking superhero. And I could never care about someone like you. You’re pathetic. You’re always here, fucking with my decisions, following me around like a fucking lovesick puppy, standing in my damn way with those fucking stars in your eyes, trying to remind me of who I was before and I wish you would just fuck off!”
Your own anger surges up to push away the heartbreak at his harsh words. “You say that I’m always here, but it was your idea for us to do this. You did this to me Ben. I’m here because you wanted me to be, because you needed me. And it’s you that keeps showing up at my apartment. I don’t make you come over!”
The memory of the night he asked you to come with him rises at the back of your mind. You remember how happy you were to go with him because you thought it was as close as he would get to admitting that he loved you, and you had hoped that if you went with him it meant that he wanted to be more. You were not remembering wrong, you remembered exactly what he said that night, you knew that he acted like he needed you. So why was he lying now?
“I never wanted you here.” He takes a step forward, green eyes hardening. “I don’t fucking need you or anyone else. I’m not a pussy. I’m a man.”
Your teeth clench together in anger and frustration. “I don’t believe you. You say that you know all my tells when I’m lying, but I know yours too. So just tell me the truth!”
“That is the fucking truth. Are you too stupid to understand that? I don’t care about you, I never have!”
“Then why did you kiss me?”
Ben freezes.
“I didn’t initiate that kiss, you kissed me! You were the one that started whatever the hell happened last night!”
“So?”
“You’ve heard me talk about what I want. You addressed it at the table last night. You know that I want more than one night, you know that I want love, that I was willing to leave to find those things. I was ready to walk away from all of this Ben and then you fucked with my head. Did you kiss me and do those things because you thought it would keep me here with you? Because you can’t stand the thought of being alone?”
“I wouldn’t give a single fuck if you left. If you want to go then go. I won’t miss you and I’m not stopping you.”
 “I don’t believe you and I don’t understand why you’re doing this, why you’re trying to push me away and act like you don’t care about me-" You shake your head in frustration.
Ben advances on you, grabbing your shoulders so tightly you know there will be bruises. Ben never touched you when he was angry, sure he’d stare you down, but Ben never did anything to harm you. It’s why you were never afraid of him, because Ben didn't want to hurt you. Even this morning you remember how worried he'd looked when you said you were sore, when he thought that it mean he hurt you. Ben cared about you. You knew he did.
But for him to do this was shocking and you can’t fight the shudder of fear that creeps along your spine.
“You mean nothing to me.” He growls. “You’re just another woman with a warm pussy. That’s all you are. I fucked you because you needed someone to and I thought it might as well be me. I don’t care about you. I never did. And I could never love some one like you. So get the fuck out of my way.” Ben pushes you from him so harshly that you fall back against the wall.
The memory of what your mother shouted at you the night you told her you were going with Ben settles over your mind.
“You really think that disappointment will ever love you? Care about you? You are nothing to him, just another plaything. And the day he finally tosses you away, don’t bother coming back here.”
Your mother's words were harsh, cut to the quick. You hated to admit it, but she was right. You understood that now, understood that the last forty years and all the years of your friendship had been a lie.
Ben didn't care about you, probably never did, he just saw you as a tool for his own amusement, and his harsh words were enough to make you realize that the boy you knew was gone and enough to jolt you into the new harsh reality.
Your hand flicks and Ben's body flies into the concrete wall on the other side of the bathroom hard enough to crack the solid cement. You find your feet, rising to your full height, hands glowing bright purple. The entire room trembles with the force of your anger, the mirrors shatter on the bathroom wall, raining down glass and metal onto where Ben sits stunned on the tile that has begun to crack and split with your display of power.
“That night you came to me I chose you. I chose you, Ben. I left everything behind for you because you asked me to. And I regret it. I regret every moment I have wasted caring about you and taking care of you. I have made excuses for you my entire life. To my family, to society, to your damn team, and to myself. I have stood by you through all of this and I never complained because you were my friend. I was here before and after you decided to take the serum, when your father broke you, when your mother died, when you needed someone to sit with you because you couldn’t take the silence alone, but not anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t be the voice of reason or your fucking babysitter and I can’t be your damn conscience. I shouldn’t have to. You are a man after all, so do it yourself.” The tears are falling freely now, searing against your skin as they trickle down your cheeks. “I tried to cut you some slack because you were my friend Ben, and I loved you.” Your voice breaks when you use the past tense. “But maybe that’s my fault, I romanticized you. I shouldn’t have but I did. I ignored so many things because I loved you but now, I’m fucking done.” You reach up to grab the pearl necklace around your throat, the one that you thought was ridiculous to wear with the supe suit, but the one you kept on because you wanted to remember last night and rip it off, sending the pearls rolling in every direction.
Because now you just wanted to forget it all, forget your friendship, forget the years you spent together, forget all the nights he spent in your bed, forget last night, and forget him.
Ben stands from the ground, brushing off his supe suit and for a second you think he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t.
“I can’t do this with you anymore. I can’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself, embrace whatever the fuck kind of person you are now. I won’t. I never want to see you ever again. And the next time you touch me, I’ll kill you.” You turn to go, but then you stop short of the door. “You once told me that you never wanted to be your father, you wanted to be better than him. Funny. After all this time you still became him.”  You spit.
You throw open the door and storm out as the mindless drone of people talking, glasses clinking, and buzz of music settle over your ears. But you don’t hear it, all you hear is the harsh words of the only man you’d ever loved and the feeling of your heart breaking in your chest.
*******************************************************
A/N: Well this one was very sad and I hate myself for putting the reader through this. Let me know what y'all think :)
Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist let me know :)
Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126, @simplyfixated @sleepjam, @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts,@onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress
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kisses4reid · 2 days
Text
convenient pt.5 | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,
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FINAL CHAPTER
pt 4 - (this a continuation, you must read every part for prior knowledge)
summary - it might be the last time you see the man who helped you write your biology report.
warnings - awkwardness, TINY fallout, i think spencer himself should be a warning but 🤷‍♀️
genre - college!fem!reader x earlyseasons!reid, fluffy, slight angst
a/n - last part. thank you for the support, seriously could not be more thankful. this was originally going to be a debut oneshot, and now i’ve got the longest taglist i’ve ever had and more followers than i could imagine. i hope you enjoy this last part, i hope it lives up to what you wanted it to be ❤️
spencer folds up the steel ladder and places it in the damp, cold storage room in the back of the convenience store. he watches you lock the whining store up before you meet eyes and he takes a step back. an invitation to walk with him, which you happily accept.
his hair is messier, and under the umbrella you stole from the store, the muted streetlight highlights his brown eyes to turn them golden. hidden freckles pop out in places, eyelashes seem delicate and dance-like.
simply beautiful.
spencer grabs you by the elbow and pulls you to him slightly, looking down at the concrete pathway. you look down and back, only then noticing the massive puddle you were one step away from.
his fingers slide off as you smile at him as a thanks. you elbow burns.
a letter you received a few days ago reminds you of a ticking clock and you suddenly feel a rush of adrenaline. you clear your throat before starting, “when will i know more about you?”
spencer placed his hand in his pocket, other hands fiddling with the umbrella. “when you ask more questions,” he answers with a nervous smile.
you nod, arms crossing. “cats or dogs?”
“both?”
you glare but accept it and continue, “how many siblings do you have?”
“0. why does this matter? why do you want to know more about me?”
“well you already know how many siblings i…” you stop in your tracks, and he looks you up and down concerned. “spencer… i never told you i have a brother.”
a wave of anxiety takes over you, eyes wandering the man, heart beating at an alarming rate. you felt like a switch had been flipped in you by the revelation.
he blinks and takes a deep breath, avoiding eye contact with you once you raise your head. “how did you know my brothers name was ricky, spencer?”
the stranger shuddered at the vermin you attached to his name in confusion. he fumbled over his thoughts, looking around before he felt the umbrella get snatched from his hands. you steps splashed and echoed down the empty mornings street. but all the man could hear was a breaking heartbeat.
you shook the white umbrella off before stepping out of the small elevator, jumping in fright when you were met by logan’s blushed face. and a certain blonde man’s as well. your eyes danced between the both of them, ricky’s hair a mess, before you rolled your eyes and shoved a brass key in your paint-chipped apartment door.
“y/n, what happened?” logan called anxiously.
“i’ll tell you in the morning.” you opened your door.
“technically it’s-“
“shut it, ricky. and fix your hair before anyone else sees you.”
the slam of your door echoed down the apartment hallway, but not in your dark apartment. suddenly your home was quiet and lonely, drab and wet. a drizzle started outside and before you could feel bad you took the umbrella from spencer, you reminded yourself that you had nearly fallen for a stranger.
you dropped your keys on the kitchen counter and headed to your bathroom, rubbing your tired hands over your face in disbelief.
your heart wouldn’t stop yelling in your ears, you felt unsafe in your own home.
and yet the person who caused you to feel endangered was the only person you wanted to comfort you.
you couldn’t forget about spencer, even when he didn’t show up for 5 days.
every time the bell rang at the opening of the store’s door, you glanced up immediately. wanting? yearning? fear? you didn’t know, you never knew. the woman who had the shift before you was out the door before you could talk, though you were somewhat thankful. these days you wanted everything but to talk to people.
as soon as you sat down, pulled the company vest over your purple sweater, and grabbed the sticky note left by the previous worker - isla, or isabelle, her name tag was old - a lady in bright pink layers and bright pink hair clips stomped towards the counter.
great, you thought, two minutes into the shift and i’ve already got a complaint. you should’ve expected it, as it seemed an unlucky streak was beginning.
she placed her loudly coloured purse on the counter and suddenly- smiled?
“y/n?” her voice was sweet, high, like a hug.
“yes?”
and then it dropped, and she placed her hands delicately but passive-aggressively on the counter top.
“first off i would like to say, you are a gorgeous woman, and you work purple like no other- but your actions?”
you had no idea where this was going.
“my boy is sad because of you. he worked hard to start talking to you, to keep talking to you and oh, because i got excited my little genius might have a love interest in his little comic book of craziness you get all, ew he knows everything about me and i know nothing about him and i-. oh. yeah that is creepy.”
you nod, it’s about spencer.
“he is an amazing agent,”
agent?
“and he incredibly smart, and he’s a little cutie! spencer likes you very much, i thought he was going insane when he would suddenly start smiling out of no where while looking at crime scene photos.”
crime scene?
“he did not ask me to do a background check on you, that is completely my fault. i was feeling very protective and wanted to make sure he wasn’t being catfished somehow or tricked into a cult- which isn’t that far from what we deal with everyday-“
“everyday?”
“yeah well- oh.” she covers her pink lips, “oh honey. he didn’t tell you what he does for a living?”
an old couple and two teenagers were eavesdropping now. you nearly forgot you were working.
“he told me he couldn’t say… he’s an agent?” you fiddled with the forgotten note and furrow your eyebrows.
“fbi.”
you felt like you had lost half your body you felt so light, so free. you let yourself smile for the first time since last night, and place a hand over your mouth. spencer likes you very much. finally something made sense.
“that’s why he knew my brothers name?”
“i am so sorry, i totally over stepped and he is like a baby giraffe when it comes to girls. which doesn’t say much because you’re like the first girl he’s been interested in like,” she starts counting on her finger before you interrupt.
“it’s okay. you can tell spencer i forgive him, or something like that. i’m like a baby giraffe as well.” you say repeating her simile back at her.
she giggles at the connection and picks up her purse, smile wide on her sunny face.
“you can tell him later, they come home from arizona tonight.”
you locked the store doors, heart thudding as your count down was ticking down. you had just finished your last shift.
taking a few steps back, crossing your arms to huddle in the knitted sweater, your eyes wandered over the familiar store.
the store’s name in bright fluorescents, the security doors that didn’t actually have a working sound alarm (nobody but the employees knew), the weeds in the pavement and the flickering street lamp just to the left. so many conversations happened under that light, it seemed to be convenient.
“y/n?”
you spin on your feet, a breeze of all too familiar cologne greeting you before the sight of the tall man. his face was air washed, slightly blushed and smooth but chiseled. brown hair waved in front of his eyes in the misty breeze, a purple scarf warming his neck on top of an untidy suit. he was simply handsome. so goddamn handsome.
his eyes wandered your presence. his favourite colour on you, your hair pushed back into a loose ponytail with the two pieces at the front falling out, the cold air reddening your nose. you were unforgettable to him.
“hi spencer.”
he sighed with relief at the sound of his name, no anger attached, only longing. he slowly approached you, fully taking your attention away from the store. “you’re not angry at me any more, for stalking you?”
you smirked, “technically you didn’t stalk me.” he raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. “i talked with one of your friends.”
“penelope.” you nodded, the name matching the face perfectly. he smiled to himself and took another step forward, a metre away. “i’m sorry i didn’t try to stop her, and for listening to her when i didn’t.” he replied, sincerity evident through the slightly pained expression he looked at you with.
“it’s fine, spence.”
spencer held his breath for a second, the nickname seeming so special and seamless coming from your mouth. you glanced back at the store, a pang of sadness hitting you before you rocked on your feet. “i should probably get home.”
“no!” spencer winced at his voice, hand reached out and hovering unconsciously, “sorry, you can- i’m not- uh. you should totally-“
“spencer i’m not going to be working here anymore.” you interrupt, receiving a surprised expression in return. “i got an offer to work in a lab with one of the top researchers in my course. so,” you thinned your lips and closed your eyes for a second in an attempt to call on some courage, “i really really need you to ask me out. right now. or i’m totally going to embarrass myself and attempt to do it, and i really don’t think you want that- trust me i do not have any-“
“i’ll ask you out then.” he took a smaller step forward, you adjusted your head to look up. he was so tall. “right now.” you gulped, he fiddled with his fingers with his eyebrows furrowed. it brought out those lines that were permanent not too long ago. “which by the way, you have every right to say no to this question. a-and i was really hoping we would be in a brighter and cleaner- and more romantic- place right now but with the circumstances and how i kind of told you i was going to do this anyways, i feel like i owe you it to you right now and i want to as well um-“
you stepped forward, chests centimetres apart. you could feel his breath on yours as you placed a hand on the previously bruised cheek, other hand grabbing him by the purple scarf, bringing him down softly to meet you in the middle.
“i’ll go out with you, spencer.” you whisper into his lips.
you smiled before kissing him lightly, his hands stopping for a millisecond before one appeared on your waist and the other on your rosy cheek. his heartbeat was thumping in his ears, a rush of happiness causing a wide smile to mix into the kiss. you couldn’t help but mirror it. you pulled away, returning flat on your feet as spencer followed, neck craning before taking his own breath.
“you will?” spencer croaked, cheeks and ears reddening. you nodded feverishly, “that’s great- that’s um.” his hand dropped to your arm, eyes wandering over your face in disbelief he actually pulled this whole thing off. sorta.
maybe it was the fact he would’ve never seen you again that scared him into mumbling, maybe it was the fact he had been yearning for weeks now. maybe it was the fact you admitted you were going to ask him out anyways, maybe it was a biology report you needed help with.
“walk me home, spence?” you grinned, dropping your arm to link with his, body heat embracing the two of you. he turned with you, steps becoming slowly synchronised. and although he had to awkwardly bend his arm at the unfamiliarity at the gesture, spencer felt more comfortable than he could ever imagine.
“so, bookstore? weekend?” he asked sheepishly, looking down at you.
“sure thing.” you reply, bringing him closer and squeezing his arm in happiness.
spencer, definitely nerdy enough.
you hid behind spencer’s kitchen counter, glancing over at emily, garcia and jj and copying their cheeky grins. having your boyfriend work with a found family had its perks, especially when they accept you instantly.
aaron hotchner, the man you had grown less afraid of over the months, was peeling out of spencer’s bedroom door, before he quickly moved out of sight.
the door rattled, it clicked, it opened.
“happy birthday!!!” everyone screamed. spencer was rigid but stood with a great smile, cheeks red and eyes wide.
“hey guys.” he croaked in surprise.
you slowly walked to him with his birthday cake as morgan slipped a birthday hat on the younger man.
spencer looked at you with stars in his eyes, hands itching to hug you like he usually does when he sees you. you placed the cake down, gave him a peck on the cheek and told him, “make a wish, spence.”
and he blew out the candles promptly. and he wished a million wishes. most if not all, being about you.
taglist: @jeffswh0re @hypotheticallyspeakingwitch @wannabewolf @evysian @navs-bhat @mywellspringoflife @daphnesutton @smalls155 @anuncalledbridge @tatilolz @criminalmindsandhouse @forensicuntology @nomajdetective @screechingphantommaker @c-losur3 @ackermans-angel @lovelyygirl8 @random-kimmy @leabunny @cultish-corner @doigettokeepyou @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @wenttohogwarts @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @drewsandsebastianswife @hoeshissworld @flow33didontsmoke @bookworm124 @violetvsworld @amethyst-marie368 @lizzyk137 @so-chill-mochill @fwzco @queermaxwooo @willywowka @jasf444 @trashmonstersara @amortencjja @belsreid @redmurderbaby @ilikw @v1ckycheesue @scarlettssub @fictionlurker @momooooca @yaboohah @phiadc @the1eyedmonster16 @hinataboke
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violet-fluff · 2 days
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Levi x Amnesia! Reader (Ch.1)
New to You
I went with a different approach so I changed the title. Hope you all enjoy.
Intro Chapter: click here
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“Why didn’t you tell me she hit her damn head?”
“She said it didn’t hurt, so I didn’t think much of it!”
You can hear arguing as you start waking up. The excessive noise makes your head pound even harder, so you groan in pain.
“Y/N, can you hear me?” A man asked in your ear.
You can feel a rough hand squeeze your own in comfort, making you feel a little better as you slowly open your eyes.
As your vision focuses, your eyes lay on some grey ones. The grey ones look both tired and concerned.
You slowly start sitting up, with the man helping you steady yourself as you lay against the pillows.
“What happened?” You ask while rubbing your head.
The woman with the glasses you saw earlier laughed anxiously. “Well you kind of collided with one of the trainees out on the training field. At least he wasn’t going too fast on the 3D gear!”
“What?” You groan and hold your head as you look around the room. It looks to be you’re in a medical room of the sorts. “Who are you two?”
The man and woman look at each other silently, and the woman speaks up again.
“Y/N, it’s Hanji and Levi?”
“Sorry, it doesn’t ring a bell,” Turning to the man next to you, you jump in surprise, “Wait! You were in bed with me!”
The man, apparently named Levi, stares at you blankly. “Yes, because I’m your husband.”
“Husband?!” You yell in disbelief, “Um no. Ya’ll have the wrong person! I’m not married!”
Hanji takes note of the way you speak. Your accent sounds a little different and you’re using new words that she’s never heard before.
Hanji clears her throat as Levi looks to her for help. “Y/N, on our last mission you hit your head and we both thought you would be fine. That was my mistake because as your squad leader I should have had that checked up on when we got back to base. You must have had some damage to your brain because you woke up this morning with memory loss.” She clasps her hands nervously, “And getting hit at full speed by another person earlier probably didn’t help either.”
‘Mission? Base? Squad leader? Those all sound like military terms.’
“Do I happen to be on a military base?” You ask quietly.
Hanji claps her hands in excitement, thinking your memory is coming back. “Yes! Yes we are!”
You sigh and fall back onto your pillows. “I knew they were coming for me.”
Hanji deadpans. “What?”
You close your eyes. “I knew you guys would be coming for me after I took on my assignment.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Levi asks.
“My research assignment assigned by NASA and Space X. They wanted me to use both cosmology and neuroscience to find the existence of multi-universes.” You sigh, “No need to torture me though, the assignment was a dud. So can I go home now?”
“Y/N what-“ Levi was about to ask what the hell all that meant when Hanji put a hand on his shoulder to quiet him.
“Y/N, I think you’ve had a strange dream? Because you are a soldier in the Survey Corps military. You are not a researcher for those, erm, people, you are talking about?” Hanji tells you gently.
You scrunch your brows together in confusion. “I’m not a soldier and never have been? I mean, I’ve had family in the military if my last name is familiar.”
Levi sighs. “Hanji, this is so confusing. She’s Y/N, and she knows she’s Y/N, but why does she seem like a completely different person. We should really just go get the doctor.”
An idea pops into Hanji’s head. “Y/N, do you mind walking over to the mirror and looking at yourself?”
“Um…ok?”
Levi helps you up but you wave him off when you steady your balance to walk over to the mirror. You stare at yourself in shock and almost scream.
“You guys cut my hair?!” You yell as you pull at the short strands that barely touch your shoulders.
You freeze when you notice another new detail.
Your eyes are a different color.
“What the hell?!” You start poking at your eyeballs, thinking there’s colored contacts on your eyes, and Levi runs over to grab your wrists.
“What the hell are you doing?! Stop!”
You shove him off. “What did you psychos do to me?!”
“Y/N, you look the same!” Hanji is getting nervous that you will run off again.
You grab a surgical knife that’s on a cart next to you and point it at them. “Are you performing experiments on me or something? Is this your form of torture? Wait until word gets out that the military experimented on an innocent scientist!”
Hanji and Levi watch you closely as you start moving towards them with the knife. Levi looks like he’s ready to tackle you, but Hanji tries a more humane approach.
“We are not experimenting on you! Look I’m not sure how jumbled your memories got or if they got twisted with some weird dreams you had while knocked out, but you’re Y/N L/N, you were born inside the walls of Maria, you joined the Survey Corp. ten years ago when you turned seventeen and have been here ever since. I’m your best friend and Levi is your husband of two years.”
“You’re also not a scientist and we have no idea what you’re talking about with the other stuff. We want to help you, but we are just as confused as you are.” Levi chimes in.
You loosen your grip on the knife as you take in what they said. Suddenly, flashes of memories of you in a lab with your lab partner flood into your head. The last you remember, you were working on splitting and combining protons.
“Wait…no… this is a different me!” You drop the knife and jump up and down in excitement. “It exists! The multiverse exists!”
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Tag List: comment if you want to be added
@scarletrosesposts @aomi04 @levitonin @levisfavoriteteashop @sleephereicome @dressycobra7
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thebestofoneshots · 2 days
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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)
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Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.5 K Warnings: None Prompt: What will happen as you walk inside the snake pit? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp
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Chapter 43: Sympathy for the Devil
You appeared in a large hall. Their invitation turned into a paper heron, flew out of your hands and up in the air before blowing up into small little gold specks, a rather elaborate spell for an invitation, which easily showed the amount of time and money the Rosiers had put into their party. Evan’s father, Arkalis Rosier, was a relevant political figure in the British Ministry, so it made sense. 
He was basically the main aid of Harold Mitchum (the current minister) and was actively looking to secure the position in the next election. He was also an ambassador for the Ministry and had met your father during some of his trips, although he had already heard from him since he was close to Orion and your father and Orion went way back. 
Either way, if this party was part of his quest to secure his position in the 1980s election, he was definitely doing a fine job at pampering his guests with bright and colourful tricks, among luxuries. You couldn’t say much about the food, but the small snack table displayed near the far corner of the room looked mouthwatering. 
“Silas! You made it,” said a man as he approached your father. You swallowed, he looked exactly like Evan, except older, and with a thick scar across his left eye, which looked glassy instead of dark green as the other one. 
“Of course. Arkalis, we wouldn’t have missed it for anything,” your mother responded with a bright smile and extended her hand towards him. She did always tend to shine in social situations; shiny grin, elegant manners, and incredibly persuasive stance, she managed to make every single person feel at ease when she was around. You sometimes wondered if it was because of the fairy bIood, running much thicker through their veins or because she had learned, and adapted to your father’s needs. 
The fairy bIood made sense, after all, the fae were known for their lavish parties and alluring abilities to humans and wizards alike. 
Your father extended his hand and shook the man’s hand, who promptly turned to you. “This must be your daughter.” 
You extended your hand politely, channeling a similar energy to your mother’s, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Rosier, I am–” 
“Oh, I’ve heard plenty of you,” he said with a smile. You swallowed. “Horace told me about the time he teamed you up with Evan on potions, he mentioned you had done a delightful job.” 
“Right,” you added as you relaxed. 
“Darling, you didn’t tell us you were friends with Evan,” your mom intervened, looking at you softly.
“I didn’t?” you asked nonchalantly. “Must have forgotten,” you shrugged it off. “You know how busy it’s been since I got to the new school, with all the classes and adapting and meeting new people, new teachers and so forth.”
“Of course, of course,” intervened Arkalis. “The young girl is right, you cannot expect her to tell you every single thing.” 
Well, at least he’s nicer than his child, you thought as you looked at Arkalis and nodded in agreement. Your father, who clearly thought you befriending Evan would be an excellent political advantage was looking at you with a rather stern face. Holding back from speaking but not quite hiding his feelings completely. You pouted in return and continued nodding along with Arkalis.
Eventually, Arkalis had to go and your father grabbed your arm, gently pulling you to him and whispering through gritted teeth, “You didn’t think it would be clever to tell us you are friends with his son?” 
“I am so far from being friends with Evan Rosier I might as well be on a different planet entirely,” you responded as you tried to shake his hand off. Even though he had grabbed onto you gently, the fact that he had done it was upsetting, especially with how much it reminded you of being manhandled by Barty and his gang. 
Your father huffed and let your arm go, you pulled it back and gave him a rather defiant look, “What? Don’t tell me I now must also make friends that are politically convenient to your career?” 
“It wouldn’t hurt if you did.” 
You looked at the ground bitterly, remembering the bruises on your neck and the scraping on your knee and the splinching you had gotten on that November moon, then turning back to him with a calm expression, “Wouldn’t it?” 
“Darling,” your mom intervened, pulling your father from you by hooking her arm with his, “It’s the Sallows, let’s greet them,” she added, your father’s gaze softened for a second, as if he could see through your brave façade, but he turned back to your mother shortly after, and walked along with her to greet the other family.  
Right, go, who gives a fuck anyway, you thought bitterly as you took off in another direction, straight to that food table that had caught your eye a few minutes ago. You picked one of the small bruschettas and took a small bite of it as you looked through the window. Smoked Salmon, you realised as you savoured it. Outside, the sun was starting to set, the gardens were vast and covered by a thick layer of snow, and there was some kind of hedge maze that appeared to be surrounding the property. Perhaps with several spells to keep the muggles away from their house. It was actually rather clever. 
There were a few crows perched on the hedges, black and contrasting with the layer of snow as they picked out something from their branches. While they gave the outside a rather ominous look, it also kind of made sense, considering the heritage of the Rosiers. Some people thought they were related to the eldest Peverell brother, in fact, you had heard rumours of Arkalis looking for the Deathly Hallows, even if most people considered them nothing more than fantasies. 
“What are you doing here?” a scolding voice asked. 
You turned around hastily to find Regulus leaning against the table with a sneaky smirk in his mouth. You sighed, “Godric, Reggie!”
His smile widened and he shrugged, “Fancy seeing you, I spotted your parents earlier, imagined you’d be here too.” 
“Well you’re as clever as sneaky, congratulations!” you said before taking another bite of your bruschetta, it was delicious. 
“You shouldn’t be here though,” he added in a more serious tone, “I overheard my parents talking about–” 
And then it happened, the two large doors at the entrance of the hall snapped open and a man walked inside, making the most dramatic entrance you had ever seen in your life –and you were dating Sirius Black. He looked about as old as Arkalis, except this man was much better looking, not to say Arkalis was ugly –then again, you might have been biased because you despised his son.
Regardless, something about the man was oddly familiar, he had dark hair arranged in a perfectly put-together hairstyle that swooped in a rather elegant way. He was wearing dark wizard robes, although vintage looking, clearly expensive since the material flowed with a cadence that only the finest fabrics could match. He had a charming smile plastered across his delicate features as he approached Arkalis, easily greeting him like an old friend. 
You watched with curiosity, the room seemed awfully silent since he walked in, there weren’t even whispers, Regulus had gone quiet too, as if they knew the man, as if they feared him. You looked at him again, at the elegant curve of his handsome nose and that’s when you knew who he was. You pictured him with a robe, darker lighting, in a blurry photo somewhere in the Daily Prophet that insisted on avoiding the subject. 
“It’s Voldemort,” you whispered as you swallowed thickly, in absolute disbelief of what was going on around you.
You’d expect someone to scream, someone to pull out their wand or at least someone to apparate the hell away, but everyone seemed perfectly fine with the fact that the self-proclaimed dark lord had just busted the party like some sort of Maleficent from the sleeping beauty. 
“Reggie, do you know who that–” 
He shook his head in response, not because he was responding to your question, but rather in a warning manner, clearly telling you to remain as silent as the rest of the people in the room. You gave him a look combined with a sigh and you saw his jaw tighten as he nodded his head. Another warning. Whatever was about to happen, couldn’t be good. You were in the middle of what could possibly a tеrrorist attack–
Except you weren’t.
“Tom, a pleasure to have you here already,” Arkalis said, approaching the taller man with a bright smile, as bright as the one he had greeted your dad with. No, brighter actually. 
It took 10 seconds of the following exchange for you to realise that you weren’t in the middle of a tеrrorist attack but rather that you were at their dinner party. 
Does my father even know? You wondered, and then you spotted him amiably talking to Orion, who seemed as relaxed as possible with the entrance of the Dark Lord into Arkalis’ party. Of course he did, you thought as you tried to hold back a scoff. 
You looked around carefully, not a single wizard seemed perturbed by the situation, not a single one had raised their wands against the man. Even Reggie looked relatively at ease as he witnessed the entire exchange, as if he had seen something similar happen before, that’s when the eerie thought crept up: He has seen this before. And of course, he had, he was the perfect child, polar opposite of Sirius. When you met him he was always scared of doing something that could enrage his parents, terrified of their reaction to him even thinking the wrong thing. 
While Sirius had rebelled against his parents, Regulus had set out to be the ideal child, following their orders to protect himself from the wrath his brother often faced. His survival mechanism was to be the perfect Black child, and if his parents were Dark Wizards then he would have to become one too, at least until he was old enough to flee. 
You looked at him with a pained expression, feeling the same way you had when you figured that he hadn’t been the one to tell on you, but rather been forced to do it, life had been unfair to him then, and was being unfair to him now. And you had no idea if you could even find a way to help him. It was in moments like that, when you realised how much he was like Sirius, both trapped, just in different ways. 
But then again, were you any different? Weren’t you also at the party talking to dark wizards like they were any other influential person in society? Weren’t you standing there, like every single other person, looking at the interaction without raising your wand? 
Of course, you didn’t stand a chance in a duel against the Dark Lord, but wouldn’t the right thing be to try? Wasn’t that what you had been training to do? No, that’s not it either. You remembered a conversation you’d had with Nightshade before you started training, she had said you were talented, but that wasn’t the end of it, your father’s contacts were a key factor here. If you managed to gather enough information tonight, perhaps then you could use that information against them in the future. 
In the end, you’d do what your father has asked you to do from the very start, play the role of the perfect little politician’s daughter, smile and nod and charm people in the same way your mother did often, all in the simple effort to get something useful out of their head’s tonight. You took a deep breath, all that occlumency you had been practising would be more necessary than it had ever been. 
“Excellent, why don’t we eat now?” Tom asked with a charming smile, “I believe you have a surprise prepared for later tonight.”
Evil doesn´t always look the part, you thought as you stared at him, he had a charisma similar to that of your mother, if a little sinister. He walked alongside Arkalis, who was quickly joined by his wife Astoria Rosier, an elegant, fair-haired woman that looked far younger than she could possibly be. Orion and your father followed next, along with a few other people whom you hadn’t identified yet. 
“Not everyone will dine with them I assume?” you said turning to Regulus. 
He shook his head in response, “Only some of us will.” 
“Of course,” you said with a nod, you too were expected to sit on the same table as them. 
You walked alongside Regulus and a few more people towards one of the doors, you saw Evan joining their parents. Barty was at the party too, you had spotted him in the distance earlier, but it seemed he wasn’t going to be part of the few selected, since he had stayed where he was, talking to a girl whom you didn’t recognize from school, but that oddly reminded you of your boyfriend. 
When you reached the table inside the private dining room, you realised the seats had been tagged for everyone. Tom, as Arkalis kept calling the most evil wizard alive, had taken the head of the table while the host, and unsurprisingly, Orion, had taken the two seats next to him. Your father was right next to Orion and there was a rather young man with pale blond hair, as long as Lily’s but completely straight. He couldn’t have been much older than you, he looked in his early twenties at most, a child. 
Your mother was close to your father, Astoria and Walburga right next to her. From there, there was a stern-looking man who you didn’t recognize and a curly-haired woman who looked about as unhinged as Barty. It was your position on the table that you found dire, you were sitting across from your mother and in between the long-haired blond, who looked displeased by having you sitting there instead of someone else and none other than Evan Rosier. When you saw his name next to yours on the small floating name tags, you had to bite your tongue to avoid the displeased sigh that was just about to escape your mouth. 
When you sat down, the small paper with your name displayed on it disappeared, and on your plate appeared a fresh-looking salad. Evan sat down beside you a couple of minutes afterwards. 
“Evan,” you greeted with a tight smile and a simple nod. Yes, you had to play a part, that didn’t mean you’d have to be best friends with Evan Rosier for the night. Why was Regulus so damn far away? You swore he was about the one other person in this entire party with whom you’d actually want to be sitting and there were about seven other people in between the two of you. You took a deep breath and turned to your salad as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire dining room, perking your ears when you heard Orion speak again. 
They mentioned something regarding the salad being fresh, which you thought was the most philistine compliment someone could ever give, and then they started going on about the weather. Apparently, it had been an abnormally cold winter in England this year. And while White Christmas’ weren’t uncommon, they were a lot more rare than they had been in the past few years. 
You heard your mother say something about global warming to Walburga, who seemed puzzled as if she had never heard the term in her life, which in hindsight she might not have since she lived in her own little pure-bIood wizard bubble and tended to stay the hell away from muggle news. Your parents always knew what was happening with the muggles, they thought it was important to stay informed to be able to maintain the relationships between the muggle world and the wizarding world as forthcoming as possible. 
You stabbed a small piece of tomato and brought it to your mouth as you thought of how stupidly prosaic the small talk of dark wizards was. Were they holding back because it was a Christmas dinner? Were they all going to pretend Voldemort wasn’t sitting at the head of the table, eating the same boring salad as the rest of you? 
How did they even manage to accomplish all their evil deeds if they were just talking about the scores of the latest quidditch championships? Okay, that was Evan talking with whoever was sitting beside him, but still.  These people were supposed to be the most dangerous wizards on the planet and yet they were–
“So tell me, how is the little errand I asked for going?” Asked Tom. 
There it is, you thought as you sat a little straighter and paid closer attention to their conversation. By now the salad had disappeared and there was a broccoli soup sitting across from you, the taste was actually pretty good, quite cheesy. Apparently, cheese was the right choice no matter how morally diverse the audience you were hosting was. Although, you weren’t sure their audience really was all that morally diverse, except for you and perhaps Regulus. 
“Excellent,” Arkalis responded as he turned to Tom, he looked awfully pleased with himself. “They’re downstairs, waiting for the show.” 
Tom took a spoon of his soup and then smiled. You saw a snake slowly creeping up his chair, and he seemed awfully comfortable around her when he noticed. The snake hissed and he said something back to her. He speaks parseltongue. 
Now, that might not be new information for Dumbledore, but it was to you. The Daily Prophet didn’t talk about all the skills the Dark Lord had honed through the years. It’s ridiculous, you thought. What if someone tried to use serpensortia against him and got killed by their own spell? Of course, someone who thought that spell was enough to go against Voldemort was going to get killed later on anyway. Regardless, it should already be common knowledge what he was good and bad at. 
“Good, I suppose we’ll be enjoying the spectacle when the dinner’s done?”
“Indeed,” Orion said this time around. “Things must be prepared for the ceremony.” 
Ceremony? What fucking ceremony? You thought as you took another spoon of your soup. You tried to keep your eyes on it, as if not to seem like you were prying. 
“Is the soup really that interesting to you?”  
Godricbedamned, not now fuckface, you thought as you turned around to Evan, “It’s really good, actually. More interesting than you and your friend gushing about your quidditch crushes for sure.” 
The blond man next to you, whom you had now learned was Lucius, snorted when he heard your reply while Evan clenched his jaw and looked at his parents nervously, as if trying to make sure he hadn’t caught your exchange. You followed his gaze and then turned back to look at him with a slight smirk. So that was a low blow then?  You thought as you recalled, he had only talked about male players with his other friend. 
Oh, it’s because Daddy doesn’t know. Better leave the subject behind. You weren’t planning to out him, no matter how much of an asshole he continued to be, even if last time he had actually gotten Severus off your back. Speaking of him, it was a delight not to have to see his long face around, looks like his family didn’t make the cut to be invited to the pit of snakes you were currently in. 
“At least I have someone that’s interested in talking to me.” 
“If I was interested in talking, I’d have already struck a conversation Evan, not all of us are eager to say every single thing that comes to mind.” 
“You wish.” 
You hmphed at that and turned your head to the other side, “Lucius, would you mind passing me the salt?” you asked politely. He turned to you a little confused at first, as if he was surprised you had talked to him and then nodded, handing over the salt to you an instant later. “Thank you. Your shoes are very elegant, by the way.” 
Lucius seemed both surprised and pleased that you had noticed his shoes. They were impeccable like he had either bought them for this event or had them cleaned and polished. He had walked with slow decision as he approached the table earlier, and when you spotted his shoes, you realised why he was being as careful with them as he had been with his hair throughout the night.  This man cared about looking good. 
“Oh, thank you,” he said with a smile. “I got them custom-made by a very elegant designer, you might have heard of him, Alistar Shoman.” 
Gotcha! 
“You’re telling me that’s a pair of Shomans? That’s incredible.” 
Lucius seemed pretty pleased with the conversation, you threw a side glance at Evan who just scoffed and turned to speak to his friend again, all the while you looked at Lucius and pretended the history of the Shoman company was the most interesting thing in the world. Perhaps it was just slightly more interesting than the broccoli soup. 
Then you heard your name drop from Orion’s mouth and you turned to him with the most polite expression you could muster. 
Fuck. You had been paying so much attention to Lucius’ stupid talk to prove Evan wrong that you had missed the one bit of relevant information they had been talking about, and now they were calling you for some reason. What a miserable spy you would make. 
“Yes, Mr. Black?” You asked. 
“We were just talking about the fact that we’ve been so busy that we haven’t been able to go watch the Quidditch Matches recently, but we’ve been told they have been outstandingly interesting.” 
You felt the tension in his voice, they probably knew you had sought against Regulus in the Slytherin vs Gryffindor Match. 
“They have been,” you said with a nod. “Quidditch is certainly something intense at Hogwarts, all of the teams are incredibly capable. It certainly has been a challenge to be able to keep up with my position.” 
Orion laughed at that, “Such modesty.” 
You swallowed, unsure how to respond to that but with a small smile. “Slughorn told me you were one of the most promising players,” added Arkalis. “Some teams are already considering you…” 
That actually caught you by surprise, you loved quidditch, but you had never actually considered making a career out of it. Lucius turned to you with newfound interest, as if now that he knew what you were capable of you had become actually interesting to him, beyond whatever fashion talk you had held earlier. It was hard to hold the urge to glare at him for it. 
“I’m sure all of the players in this table are as good as me, or even better,” you said, thinking of Regulus, and playing your role of clever guest, even if you had given Evan a compliment with it. It wasn’t a lie, Evan was a good chaser, but he was also a total asshole. 
“And yet, your team won in the last match,” Arkalis said, making sure to look down on his son as he spoke the last line. 
You didn’t turn your gaze to Evan but you could tell he had lowered his gaze from the little you saw in the corner of your eyes. No wonder the boy was like he was, his father was even worse than him. You felt a little pity towards Evan, even if you still disliked him thoroughly. 
You decided driving the conversation to a different subject would be the best thing to do before things got even more tense. “How did you meet Professor Slughorn?” you asked, managing to have a genuinely curious look on your face as you did. 
“We studied with him,” replied Tom, turning to look at you with a chill-inducing smirk, both charming and dangerous at the same time. He definitely had that cult-leader vibe going for him, no wonder so many people were so eager to follow him, it wasn’t just because he was powerful or because of their shared hate towards muggles, most of the men in the room shared those 2 characteristics. The one thing that made the difference was how much more charming this man was in comparison. “We were both in the Slug Club too, weren’t we, Arkalis?” 
Arkalis hummed in response, “Indeed, he used to say Tom was the most brilliant student he ever taught.” 
“He likes playing favourites,” you added with a smile. 
“He does indeed,” agreed Arkalis, and eyed his son again, his gaze reproachful and thunderous. “He told me you and Evan made an excellent team.” 
You remembered that day and tried not to shudder at the thought of Evan’s hand squeezing your injury, “Right we did,” you said as you placed your hand on his shoulder, making sure to dig your nails enough to make him uncomfortable. “He’s delightful to work with,” somehow you managed to make that sound honest rather than sarcastic. “He’s especially good at measuring and mixing.” 
Arkalis seemed pleased with your praising of his son, and you thought they might start talking more the more pleased he was, especially since his wine wasn’t refilling fast enough. In fact, every single person in the room seemed to be drinking moderately, as if they were trying to keep their heads clear for whatever surprise they were talking about earlier. 
“We’ve been friends ever since, haven’t we Ev?” you added with a charming smile.
“Right,” Evan added, “Best friends.” 
Arkalis seemed pleased with the response, your father still looked irritated over the fact that you hadn’t told him about your friendship with Evan, even more so since he thought you lied to him earlier when you said you and Evan were light years away from becoming friends. The rest of the table seemed to buy your lie, except for Regulus who was looking at you with a rather anxious look on his face. While he didn’t know everything Evan had done to you, he had a pretty good idea of some of the things based on things he had heard at the Slytherin table. 
You smiled shortly and then someone who you didn’t recognize said something to Arkalis and drew the conversation away from the two of you. Evan leaned over, “What the hell are you playing at?” he asked. 
“I’m playing my role as a nice guest, how about you play the one of a nice host and we pretend we don’t hate each other’s guts for the night?” you retorted. “Your father seemed pleased enough about our friendship or whatever.” 
“You shouldn’t have come tonight.” 
“As if I wanted to,” you scoffed and turned back to listening to the adult’s conversation, they were now going on about the Ministry of Magic. They mentioned something about how he was now doing exactly what he was meant to do and you felt chills run down your spine when you spotted Voldemort’s smile. 
The Ministry is on his hands, no wonder there is no news about him on the daily prophet. Just how many deatheaters are out there? All infiltrated on normal day jobs and working towards making the world a much darker place… the idea was horrifying, and yet everyone at the table seemed incredibly pleased with it. 
Eventually, you finished dinner, Tom was the first one to stand and he said something about it being time for a show. At this point, you dreaded finding out whatever the hell was his idea of entertainment, from what you’d heard, it couldn’t have been good. 
You were on your way towards the exit, trying to find Regulus again when Arkalis walked beside you and offered you his arm, “Darling, would you mind talking to me for a second?” he asked, using a charm similar, but not nearly as masterful as the one Voldemort had. 
You looked around trying to find Regulus, of course, Arkalis had asked, but the way he had said it was enough for you to know that it wasn’t actually an option to say ‘no’. Reggie was a few feet from you and he sent you another anxious glance before Orion intercepted him. 
“Sure, of course,” you replied as you felt Arkalis’ hand over your shoulder, urging you for an answer, you hooked your hand in his and followed him to a different room, completely missing the absolutely terrified look on Evan’s face. 
“How may I be of help to you, Mr. Rosier?” You asked calmly, whatever reason Arkalis had to bring you to the library, it was not intending to hurt you, at least you hoped it wasn’t. And the chances were low since it would be a very stupid decision to make considering who your father was, and how close he seemed to be to Orion, who, you had concluded, was closer to Voldemort than Arkalis, even if they had studied together. 
Whether you liked it or not, your parents’ connection to Orion Black, was the reason you were safe in this party. 
“You’re friends with Evan, correct?”
You heard a shuffling at the end of the room, turning to look but finding nothing, you narrowed your eyes in that direction only for a second before turning back to Arkalis, he didn’t look like an overly patient man, “Indeed.” 
“Excellent,” he said with a nod and then smiled, a smile so warm and kind that you might have bought his good intentions if you hadn’t been deterred by the thing that left his mouth afterwards, “You would tell me if he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing, right?” 
Like threatening to throw me off the astronomy tower, choke me and throw me off my broom along with his boyfriend? Sure, you thought. 
“Something he shouldn’t be doing?” You played dumb, that seemed to always do the trick for people like Arkalis. 
“I’ve heard some rumours about my son.” 
Rumours? You wondered. Whatever the hell is he–
“People have been saying he’s really close to a boy in school.” 
“Evan has many friends,” you responded, just now guessing what Arkalis could mean. 
“Closer than that,” he told you. “It’s a… deviation that happens to muggle men often?” 
Fucking hell, you thought when you realised what he meant. Arkalis wants to know if Evan is gay, but the way he approached the subject, using the words “deviation” and “muggle” with such derision.  You tilted your head slightly, trying not to look offended by his homophobia. 
“I’m not sure I understand, Sir, Evan has many friends.” 
“I mean, does he have a boyfriend?” Arkalis asked. 
There it is. You played surprised at that. You heard another movement on the side, “Oh, Merlin no!” you said surprised. “I would definitely know if Evan had a boyfriend,” you said, trying to sound as confident as possible. It wasn’t completely a lie, you did know. 
Then you felt Arkalis trying to prickle at your mind, looking for something, inside of it, the truth, you realised. And then you gave him what he wanted to see. You used every single ounce of mental power to conjure up one image and one image only. Evan pushing you against the railing of the Astronomy tower, hand in your throat and leaning onto you, the same way it had happened then except, there was no one else, and rather than lean over to threaten you, Evan was leaning over to kiss you. 
You tried to hold your thoughts of disgust at the image being projected on your mind as much as possible, but you knew that, at least that scene, would get Arkalis off of Evan’s back for a while. 
No, you didn’t like Evan, you’d go as far as to say that you hated his guts, but no matter how much hate you harboured for the blond, you would never out him, let alone to a clearly abusive and homophobic father like Arkalis. Take it as the good deed of the day, you thought as you used memories of kisses with Sirius to make the scene more realistic. 
Eventually, Arkalis stopped digging inside your mind and you felt relief wash over you, allowing the horrifying image of kissing Evan Rosier to dissolve. Arkalis pulled back with a pleased smile. “What a deceptive little thing,” he said as he looked at you with a smirk and grabbed onto your jaw to pull your head up slightly. You gave him an innocent look in return, as if you had no idea what he was talking about. 
Does he know I’m trying to trick him? Did he notice?, you wondered as you moved your hand towards your dress pocket to try and find your wand. 
“Pardon?” You asked meekly. 
“We all thought you were dating Orion’s eldest son,” he said Sirius’ name with scorn, and you had the urge to spit on his face, you somehow managed to hold back.  
“I am dating Sirius,” you replied with an innocent frown, voice still soft, still playing a part, Arkalis had to think you had no idea he had dug inside your mind. 
His smile just widened, “Of course, my bad,” he said with a smile and pulled his hand away from your face. “If you see Evan tell him I’m proud of him. He’s got a good eye for women.” 
You swallowed thickly but managed to give him a confused nod in response. It was meant to be a compliment, and yet it made you want to puke, you definitely did not like Arkalis better than you did Evan. You didn’t even like him better than you liked Barty. 
“Uhm… of course, Sir,” you replied, still playing dumb, his smile grew wider and he bowed his head before exiting the room. 
When he was gone you allowed yourself to sigh, shutting your eyes as you thought over everything that had happened. And then you felt a hand in your arm, gripping tightly, just like he had back in potions class. 
“What the hell was that about?” Evan asked from behind, he looked absolutely baffled. 
“Oh, Evan, you were the one eavesdropping then,” you replied with a sigh and shoved your arm to try and pry his hands off of it. So fucking handsy, you thought as you remembered his father’s stupid hands on your jaw. “Do you mind?” 
Evan seemed just as puzzled and slightly angry now too, and while he didn’t let go of you entirely, he did loosen his grip, which you were thankful for. “Why did you–? What the hell did you tell my father?” 
“You know, the right way to express what you’re feeling right now is to say thank you,” you replied annoyed, you hadn’t saved his ass for him to be a total asshole about it. 
He finally let your arm go completely and passed a hand through his hair, “What I mean to say is, you know about me and Barty, you could have told him, gotten rid of the two of us in an instant, my father would have probably sent me abroad to some other school if he found out and yet you… made him assume I like a woman?” 
You sighed, “Look, Evan. I don’t like you, okay? You’ve been an asshole to me from the fucking start and frankly, I wish I could beat the fuck out of you sometimes, but there are lines that I’m not willing to cross. No matter how much of an asshole you are, I would never out someone just because I dislike them, let alone to someone like your father.” And then you scoffed, “Muggle-deviation, fucking hell, just say gay.”  
Evan was speechless after that, he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what he should say or if he even should. Perhaps he really should thank you for covering for him, but even that would feel empty. What you had done might have been one of the nicest things anyone had done for him in his entire life, but how could an enemy be the one to do that? 
“I– I mean I–” 
You sighed again, “Just… leave it,” you said and left the room, and an incredibly confused Evan inside of it. 
Evan disliked you, he disliked you for throwing a Quaffle on Barty’s face and breaking his beautiful nose, he hated you for being a know-it-all, he hated you for being good at quidditch and he hated you for being such a self-righteous prick who considered herself better than him. He hated you for constantly teasing Barty and Mulciber and Snape, he hated you for how reckless you were and for picking up fights with people who were bigger and stronger without backing down from them. And his whole idea of you was crumbling down because he wasn’t sure he would have done the same thing in your position. If he knew how to destroy you, would he have hesitated? 
Would he have saved you too?
Evan sank to the floor and started to cry, he wasn’t sure if the thick salty drops falling from his eyes were from angry or relieved tears. He didn’t know why he was crying, he just knew he couldn’t stop. The complexity of his emotions churned within him. You had the power to vanish him, you could have told his dad and the one bit of happiness he’d found would have been gone in an instant. He wouldn’t have seen Barty ever again. 
Did you even know how much you had done for him in that 5-minute talk you’d had with Arkalis? 
Years of hiding, years of being careful, years of feeling like he was wrong, and that what he liked was poisonous, deserving of mistreatment and scorn, years of dreading his father finding something, anything that could out him. All gone in a small little chat, where you barely even fucking spoke. The smile Arkalis had made, the relief in his eyes –the acceptance– that made Evan want to cry even more. Because no matter how great he was, no matter how perfect he was, he would never, ever be truly accepted by his father. Never would he make him as happy as you had by implying to him he liked a girl. 
He was miserable, and out of all people, you had been the one to make his sorrow, even if it was just slightly, less painful, less burdensome and less suffocating. 
Yet, despite the relief, Evan couldn't shake the lingering bitterness that consumed him. He resented you for knowing his weak spot, and yet, beneath the layer of resentment and anger, there was a tiny ember of gratitude, a flicker of acknowledgement for the unexpected reprieve you had granted him. As he sat there, tears staining his cheeks, he wasn’t sure he could continue hating you anymore. 
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A/N: This might be one of my favourite chapters to write. I really like those emotionally charged scenes, but you've probably already noticed. Also, even antagonistic characters have feelings and boy, do some of them run deep... Poor Evan (I told you guys I did like the Slytherin boys, but the rivalry still exists. Even if, to their different points of view, the villain might just be, well: us. Love, Lils xx
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Bound By Fate
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Jenson Button x Fem!Teammate Reader
series summery: the strings of life connect two people; teammates, friends, perhaps lovers. Even when you think you’ve gotten rid of him, the strings of life pull you back in. some things are just meant to be. 
author's note: this was prompted by god knows what but this is my new passion project. jenson girlies, this one is for you. shoutout to @mev33 for losing her mind over this with me <333
bound by fate taglist!
chapter one: united front
attached at the hip, jenson button and y/n l/n are the unstoppable duo. the same soul in two bodies. all but 4 points separating them. // “where you go, I go. What you see, I see. I know I’d never be me without the security of your loving arms, keeping me from harm. Put your hand in my hand and we’ll stand.” - Skyfall by Adele
chapter two: time cast a spell on you
spending nine months with someone is a long time, especially when you’re forced to be with them. feelings grow, both good and bad.  - “Time cast a spell on you but you won’t forget me. I know I could have I loved you but you would not let me. I’ll follow you down ‘till the sound of my voice can haunt you. Oh give it just a chance. You’ll never get away from the sound of a woman that loves you.” - Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac  
chapter three: the blame is on you
two mclarens spin out, drivers at each other’s throat but only one’s to blame. what’s said on track doesn’t always stay there. - “It’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. Help me to decide, help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever. Everybody wants to rule the world.” - Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tear For Fear 
chapter four: no grace
jenson can’t take it anymore; the back stabbing, the betrayal. he did what he thought was best and left. on what was supposed to be the happiest night of y/n’s life, she’s heartbroken and upset. — “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace, so the battleships will sink beneath the waves. You had to kill me, but it kills you just the same. Cursing my name, wishing I stayed. You turned into your worst fears and you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain. Crossing out the good years and you’re cursing my name, wishing I stayed.” -  My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift 
chapter five: the final tango
y/n and jenson find themselves front and centre, smiling for the cameras in their sunday bests, yet their hearts are in different places. - “it hurts to be something, it’s worse to be nothing with you. I’ve done the math, there’s no solution. We’ll never last. Why can’t I let go of this?” -  Promise by Laufey 
chapter six: secrets of us
when all is said and done, it’s never really over, is it? jenson spills far too much in a tell-all interview that back fires on both he and y/n. - “And you don’t seem to understand, a shame you seemed an honest man. And the fears you hold so dear will turn to whisper in your ear. And you know what they say might hurt you and you know that it means so much, and you don’t even feel a thing.” -  Duvet by Bôa
chapter seven: a chapter of me
four long years have passed, both y/n and jenson are in different places of life but they find themselves at Silverstone, together once again. jenson’s a commentator and y/n’s still a racer. seems the dust has settled. - “Just wanna let this story die, and i’ll be alright. We can’t be friends, but I’d like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens, wait until you like me again.” -  We Can’t Be Friends by Ariana Grande 
chapter eight: a glimpse into the past
people come and go, life moves on; that has always been your view. you can’t move on when your past comes back to haunt you. -  “So I ask myself, do I let you go or do I keep you in the frame of my mind? Now I’m growing wise to your sugar coated lies, nothing’s sweet about my misery. Yeah, I finally found what went wrong, i finally found the wrong in you.” - On My Mind by Jorja Smith
chapter nine: twelve steps forward, one step back
the final race of your life, mixed emotions truly. your career was one out of a movie, you’re waiting for the final shoe to drop and when it does, it hits you hard. - “Isn’t it strange? I am still me, you are still you, in the same place. Isn’t it strange how people can change from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again?” - Strange by Celeste
epilogue - chapter ten: the last bow
life post retirement is a funny thing, you thought you’d be having fun but you’re bored out of your mind. a solo trip results in seeing a ghost from your past.  -  “I'm sure we're taller in other dimension, you say we’re small and not worth a mention. You’re tired of movin’, your body’s achin’. We could vacay, there’s places to go. Clearly this isn’t all that there is, can’t take what’s been given. But we’re so okay here, we’re doing fine.” - White Ferrari by Frank Ocean 
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WHO WILL IT BE?
*+:。.。.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.。.。:+**+:。.。.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.。.。:+*
{Nanami + Toji + POC Reader}
∘°∘♡∘°∘𝓒𝓗𝓐𝓟𝓣𝓔𝓡 𝓝𝓘𝓝𝓔 ~ 𝓕𝓘𝓝𝓐𝓛𝓛𝓨 𝓗𝓞𝓜𝓔∘°∘♡∘°∘
⟿ Song to Go with the Chapter: Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin OR Bedroom by SupahBadd [You + Nanami + Toji theme song for this chapter]
⟿ Word Count: around 6,500 to 6,750 +
⟿ Nanami + Reader smut scene | First Nanami + Toji + Reader smut scene | sex dungeon scene
⟿ Summary: You’ve started to grow comfortable and accustomed to your new living situation and your more then thankful. Nanami tells you great news and you’ve built up the courage to speak to Toji finally. Will you get to know him better? Of course, especially since it’ll be the way you know best and you know he can’t resist. The both of you can’t stay away from one another much longer.
*+:。.。.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.。.。:+**+:。.。.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.。.。:+*
𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: contains smut, pet names, the use of every hole, cream pie, fingering, oral sex, dom/sub, soft dom vs semi hard dom, threesomes, light BDSM, fem reader, black fem reader/you, and etc. [please don’t read if easily triggered or not 18 +]
◈━◈━◈━◈━◈
𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓼 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮: 18+ please & please don’t copy and paste my story anywhere else. This chapter is slightly longer then the last chapter and once again there’s a lot of switching between POV’s. ANYWAYS, this is my first tumblr fic so if you leave a heart, reblog, or comment it’s greatly appreciated! If there are any errors I am open to anyone correcting me in the comments, leaving feedback, or dming me. I hope you will enjoy this as much as I did when I wrote this!
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*𝒜 𝒲𝐸𝐸𝒦 𝒫𝒜𝒮𝒮𝐸𝒮 𝑀𝒜𝒦𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝐼𝒯 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝐿𝒜𝒮𝒯 𝒲𝐸𝐸𝒦 𝒪𝐹 𝐹𝐸𝐵𝑅𝒰𝒜𝑅𝒴 | 𝒩𝒜𝒩𝒜𝑀𝐼 ’𝒮 𝒫𝒪𝒱✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Nanami is so happy you took to moving so well and loved the house he picked out. You’ve been on bed rest for a week now and you look a thousand times better. You’re finally able to walk on your own and don’t complain about a headache anymore. He felt he could finally relax not having to worry about how you were holding up. While you were in a coma it made it open his eyes; to finally gripping life by the throat. ‘Why work at a job you hate? Why not move to the countryside? Why not follow my dreams? What would y/n want me to do?’. Was all he could think about; it’s been freeing to finally have all the answers.
Nanami is in the kitchen at the moment cooking you breakfast as you’re showering both of you getting ready for the day. You both don’t have much planned besides going grocery shopping which is a great shift from a couple of months ago. You finally quit your job working at the club and you are currently trying to figure out your dreams and aspirations for life.
“KEN?!” You yell from upstairs, Nanami drops what’s he’s doing and is instantly up the stairs and by your side. “OH!” You jump when you realize he’s next to you out of pure shock. “You scared ME! Where’s my lotion?” You exclaim before asking your question bashfully bowing your head as you blush softly. Nanami chuckles as he walks to the bathroom and pulls it out of a drawer which is where he saw it last. “THAT WAS NOT THERE WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR IT, but thank you!” You whine out loudly before crossing your arms across your chest and pouting softly.
“Of course, princess. Also, your breakfast is ready,” he states chuckling in between kissing you on the forehead. “I made you Japanese soufflé pancakes with blueberries your absolute favorite,~” Nanami says cooing in your ear before nibbling and sucking on it a little. It’s been hard for him these past couple of months but he keeps it together out of respect for you and by getting off just by thinking about you. Thinking about your moans, your soft skin under his, and those beautiful eyes full of desire. He’s been craving you so much Nanami feels like he’s about to explode waiting for your ‘okay’ for him to demolish you.
You hum in excitement as you hurry to get dressed putting your lotion on and slipping on a silk nightgown. You walk down the stairs skipping a few steps to get to the table faster Nanami following right behind you. You take your respective seat that you sat in every day dancing as you take your first bite. Nanami smirks as he takes his seat coffee in hand just taking in all your beauty. You liked to wear sexy stuff around the house which made it 10x more difficult for Nanami but he was able to revel in your beauty. While you were in a coma your friend Trina took care of your hair coming by every couple of weeks to wash it and braid it into cornrows. Now your hair was long reaching your mid back once you were able to stand you gave yourself a silk press. Nanami adored watching you do your hair or watching Trina do it-it was so interesting and impressive to him. Nanami is sucked out of his thoughts as he hears you get up to take your plate to the sink.
“Thank you handsome,~” you say seductively as you walk closer to him after putting your dish away. You come behind Nanami’s chair rubbing down his chest as it was bare and you lay your chin on his shoulder. Your soft hands massaging up and down his muscular torso were driving him mad. Nanami bites his inner cheek as his ears begin to turn red. You take notice and bite his earlobe softly before licking up and down his neck. “I haven’t touched you in a while, you haven’t touched me. I’m aching for you Ken. I know you want some relief,~” you whisper in his ear in a steamy tone before coming around to see his face. Nanami is blushing hard same as his dick; just you touching him has made him pre cum slightly stains his lounge pants he was wearing.
“I miss you, princess,~” Nanami says in a deep voice trying to keep himself under control.
“Then show me…” you tease before licking his cheek and strolling away back upstairs throwing off your nightgown. Nanami wanted to rip it off but seeing you naked will be amazing in itself. He’ll never forget the first time you guys had sex or how you touched him; it made him feel alive.
Nanami makes his way up the stairs stripping slowly first the lounge pants, the socks, and lastly the boxers. He strokes his dick as he walks into the room; you’re sprawled across the bed fully naked. Nanami can’t help but stare at you for a moment smiling as you play with yourself. “You ready princess? We haven’t had sex in a while, it might hurt a little..” he explains softly as he inches closer to you truly mesmerized by the show. As Nanami closed the space between the two of you-you begin spreading your legs more showing the wet mess you’ve become.
“I know daddy, but I’ve gotten so wet just thinking about you.” You purr as you continue to rub your clit tilting your head back slightly from pleasure. Nanami bends down hooking you by your lower back as he drags you to the end of the bed. Now on his knees, he begins to lick and suck on your folds staying away from your clit.
“Continue to play with yourself my love, I’ll do the rest.” He explains before going back down lapping up your juices he then sticks his tongue inside you. You jump at the new sensation moaning loudly then fall back even more not being able to keep control. Nanami grins before replacing his tongue with two fingers thrusting into you making you mewl loudly. “Such a good girl. Who are you good for, my love?~” Nanami inquires looking up at you and you're breathless as you moan loudly. But he then stops and pulls his fingers out suddenly.
You whine before lifting your head up; “you Kento, you.” You whisper in a breathy tone before falling back down out of pure overstimulation and arousal. Smirking he slips three fingers in this time and sucks your folds making you buck your hips. Nanami notices you stopped playing with yourself and starts sucking on your clit. You grip at his hair and start bucking your hips harder into his face but Nanami stops you by gripping your hip with his free hand. While quickening the pace he slips another finger in trying to prep you and you clench hard around his fingers as juices start overflowing and dripping down his fingers. He licks it up before attacking your clip again as if it wasn’t already swollen. With all your might you buck your hips one last time screaming loudly as you began to cum all over Nanami’s face. He laughs softly fingering you till you came all the way down before kissing your clit softly making you squirm under him.
“Sadly princess you didn’t follow instructions, you were supposed to play with yourself the whole time. You know what that means right?~” Nanami says in a steamy tone crawling up onto the bed and maintaining eye contact the whole time.
You shift under him before you answer; “punishment.” You say softly and before you know it Nanami has you bent over his lap. He would find any excuse to spank you a little he loved to see your ass jiggle.
“Count for me, my love.” Nanami commands before spanking you hard making the sound bounce off the walls.
“1,” you yell out biting on your bite and trying not to squirm he hated when you squirmed. “2,” smack, “3,” smack, “4-4,” smack.
“Say it again I couldn’t hear you,~” Nanami hums before spanking you again.
“4,” smack, “5,” smack. He helps you up before making you lie down on your back. He wanted to see all of you, every facial expression, every gasp for air, and seeing you go dumb from getting ruined. Kissing you on the forehead Nanami swipes his dick at your slick entrance before slowly thrusting into you. Still kissing your forehead he thrusts every inch into you making you gasp every time and gripping on his shoulders. “Such a good girl,~” Nanami praises before doing one last thrust deep inside of you. You claw at his back and throw your head back as it’s a mix of pain and pleasure. He stays still for a moment to help you get accustomed to his length and overall size.
“Move daddy please..” you plead softly rubbing the back of his neck now with your hands. He nods before gripping your hip with one hand and massaging one of your breasts. Nanami’s thrust starts out slow pace as a precaution but you nod like you know what he’s thinking and he starts to pick up the pace. You moan loudly as his dick begins to hit your cervix making him smirk softly. “You feel so good daddy I’ve missed you being inside of me,~” you purr grabbing his hand that was on your breast and making him cup your face. Now smiling Nanami cups your cheek starting to thrust deeper and faster into you. You begin to gasp for air trying to grab onto something and settling on the sheets. Nanami bites his lip as he leans down towards you planting his hands on either side of you.
“I’ve missed you more,~” he whispers in your ear before kissing and biting your neck leaving love bites all over before moving to the other side. This makes you clench harder around him and arch your back slightly. He uses a free hand to cup your ass then asks in a breathy tone; “can I choke you my love?” You nod ‘yes’ and him not caring to do the extra ‘let me hear you say it’ he just begins to choke you softly drilling deeper into you. You groan loudly as you cream around Nanami's dick again and like last time now he is chasing his release. He lets go of your throat to move your legs on top of his shoulders. You gasp at the new feeling it gives as he plows into you not giving you a chance to breathe or catch your breath. “Just a little longer love, fuck you’re so tight,” Nanami groans out in between kissing on your leg. He then starts biting your ankle slightly not knowing what to do to control his hunger for you. Within minutes he cums all inside of you painting your inner walls full of his seed. Nanami thrusts into you every now and then getting every last drop out before pulling out. He watched as both of your juices mixed together and begin to ooze out of your now empty pussy. You smile sleepily as you put your finger inside swirling it around before pulling it out and sucking on it. Nanami can’t help but just watch as you do so his dick twitching as you made eye contact with him. You sit up and crawl to the edge of the bed grabbing his dick into your hand.
“I can help clean you up daddy but only if you let me…” you coo kissing up and down his length that’s twitching at each touch. He nods hair falls into his face as he looks down at you. You go from kissing to licking up and down his length looking straight back at him. You take his sore swollen tip into your mouth swirling it around your tongue before bobbing your head. Nanami throws his head back placing his hand on the back of your head not applying pressure because he didn’t have to. You took his full length into your mouth not using your hands as you hollowed out your cheeks. Swirling your tongue underneath his length while simultaneously playing with his balls was throwing him through a loop.
‘Fuck why didn't I let her suck my dick sooner…’ Nanami thinks to himself as he feels you deep throat his dick making your nose brush up into his pubic hair. Nanami looks down as you're still looking up at him slobber all on your chin and around his dick. You begin to quicken the pace and the lewd sounds start to echo through the house as Nanami grunts and groans loudly. Smiling you pull away making him moan softly you then kiss his tip and lick the slit teasing him to no end. Nanami feels a shiver go down his spine and his dick twitches as he uses force pushing your head down onto his dick making you cough slightly. He lets you bob your head before coming deep down your throat while groaning your name and as he does so. Nanami makes sure you get every last drop so he continues bucking his hips until satisfied. You open your mouth slowly showing all the cum you are about to drink.
“Good girl, swallow.” Nanami commands breathless while watching as you keep your mouth open and swallow making the cum disappear. He helps you up before guiding you to the bathroom, “I love you, y/n…” he whispers in your ear before drawing a bath for the two of you.
You hum softly before purring, “I love you more Ken.” You then smile up at him before rolling off the bed. You make your way to the bathroom and drag Nanami along closing the door behind the two of you. Nanami goes over to the tub and starts the water making sure to add bubbles for the two of you to bathe together. You both hug onto each other while you wait for the water and bubbles to rise. Once the water is at a good level you both sit in the bath and Nanami follows steps in to sit behind you-you move slightly forward to make space for him to get in. Once he’s behind you completely you lean back into him then tilt your head back into him too.
“Thank you for bringing me here. It’s been nice to finally relax, not be scared, or trying to survive to get by.” You vent out as you play with bubbles with one hand and hold Nanami’s hand with the other. “You kept your word..” you say trailing off at the end as you look up at him; he can see the tears pooling in your eyes and smiles at you softly.
“I’m glad I could do this for you and like I said you deserve it. You mean the world to me, y/n I’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy.” He expounds squeezing your hand as reassurance. Nanami kisses your hair before you lean forward grabbing both of your washcloths and pouring liquid soap into both. “Do you need your shower cap?” He inquires as he gets up to grab it as it’s on the counter.
“YES! OH MY GOD!” You exclaimed as you stopped everything that you were doing. Nanami chuckles getting back into the bath and handing it to you. You pass him your wash cloth slowly putting on your shower cap as your hands aren’t too wet once you're done you go back to grab your wash cloth but Nanami is already scrubbing your back. You hum in appreciation as you close your eyes as he grabs your breastplate so he can hold you still.
“I never told you what happened to those two felons. I can tell you if you want to know?” Nanami asks out of the blue truly catching you off guard. You stand still practically frozen and just nod your head ‘yes’ in agreement so he continues. “I called the police while I was on the way to get you and as I took you to the hospital they apprehended the two. While you were in the hospital I explained to them what happened; they did an investigation. And come to find out you weren’t the first woman they did this to. I’m glad Toji saved you when he did the other women that came forward with their stories were…gut wrenching. They’ll both be in prison for a long time and won’t be able to hurt you anymore…” Nanami explains as he moves on to washing the rest of your body and you fall silent.
“Thank you…” is all you can muster just staring forward not saying a word until you both were done bathing and drying off. “I want to talk to Toji..” you blurt out taking your shower cap off and switching it out for a bonnet as you bow your head deep in thought not being able to look at Nanami.
“Of course, princess. I’ll get in contact with him and invite him over; is tomorrow good?” Nanami offers before asking his question and you nod ‘yes’ in agreement. Still silent you slip on the same nightgown you had on earlier and crawl into bed. “Would you like a cigarette lovely you look troubled?” He suggests pulling a cigarette out of the vintage musical cigarette dispenser he got you as you’ve been begging for one for a while now. Once again nodding ‘yes’ you part your lips for him to tuck it in between before he sparks it for you.
You take a long drag heaving out a painful sigh as you exhale.“Come lay with me…” you command patting the side of the bed he usually sleeps on. Nanami slips a pair of boxers and lounge pants on before plopping on the bed after grabbing a cigarette himself. Before he can spark it you snag the lighter out of his hand lighting it for him and he smirks inhaling and then exhaling just as slow. You guys smoke in silence for a while before you put yours out cuddling into Nanami’s chest and falling asleep again. It was only noon at the moment but he couldn’t make himself disturb you at all.
‘I guess grocery shopping is off the table for today…’ Nanami thinks to himself as he rubs your side softly.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*𝑀𝐼𝒩𝒪𝑅 𝒯𝐼𝑀𝐸𝒮𝒦𝐼𝒫 𝒯𝒪 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝒩𝐸𝒳𝒯 𝒟𝒜𝒴 𝑀𝒪𝑅𝒩𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒯𝐼𝑀𝐸 | 𝒯𝒪𝒥𝐼 ’𝒮 𝒫𝒪𝒱✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Nanami texted him yesterday that you requested to talk to him to say he wasn’t excited to see you would be a lie. He missed you and actually missed taking care of you but it was nice to have Megumi back home. After everything happened Nanami paid Toji ¥700,000 yen for protecting you and saving you. It helped him a lot and Toji was able to put his son into a private school in Tokyo where Megumi was able to finally make friends. Nanami also let him keep the car as he said ‘I don’t need it..’ and of course, Toji took it-it was better than walking.
As he pulled into you and Nanami’s driveway his mouth dropped; this house was huge. ‘I mean a pretty and sweet girl like her deserves the world so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised..’ Toji thinks to himself as he parked the car and got out of the car. Strolling up to the door before he could even knock you swing the door open grinning from ear to ear.
You jump onto Toji hugging him around his neck, “I missed you Toji..thank you for saving me.” You whisper into his ear leaving him in shock he then slowly starts to wrap his arms around you not sure if he should or shouldn’t.
“Toji, I see she missed you,” Nanami says greeting Toji before chuckling slightly and turning back into the house.
‘This is too good to be true..’ Toji thinks as you let go holding his hand and leading him into the house. Just like the outside the inside is breathtaking; she leads him to the couch and pushes him so he’ll sit down. When he does she plops down next to him as Nanami makes a pot of coffee.
“So, what did you wanna say to me that I had to come all the way out here?” Toji inquires still looking around the house from the couch really eyeing the walls.
“I wanted to formally thank you for helping me and alerting Kento. Who knows what would’ve happened if you both didn’t act so quickly.” You explain looking straight at Toji he catches your eyes mesmerized just as he was the first time. Your eyes are full of love, calmness, and warmth which was a great shift from what they were beforehand but they had a hint of lust. He tries to ignore it before he realizes you’re touching his arm suddenly Nanami comes and sits down in an admirable chair passing everyone a cup before leaning back and sipping his. You don’t stop touching Toji which confuses him; he glances at Nanami who just nods in agreement at Toji.
‘What the actual fuck is going on?’ Toji questions himself before he feels you snake your hands lower as the nod wasn’t for Toji but for you.
“Okay, brat what do you have planned?” Toji teases looking dead at you now making you shift under his gaze. He loves to see you melt or squirm as he knows you always feel his gaze.
“Toji, will you have a threesome with me and Nanami? I’ve known you’ve liked me and I like you, Nanami doesn’t mind he’ll enjoy it…~” You coo at Toji palming the tent growing in his pants making him bite his lip.
Toji runs your request through his head before nodding ‘yes’; “I’ve always wanted to do a threesome. You better be ready to get ruined by two men brat.” Toji teases smirking before looking at Nanami for confirmation.
Nanami smiles putting his cup down before speaking. “Yes Toji, don’t worry she told me first and asked me and I agreed.” Toji grins before looking back at you who’s practically devouring him with your eyes. “I have a surprise for everyone follow me..” Nanami states standing up and walking to the other end of the room you all follow before congregating in front of a door. Nanami pulls a key out and unlocks it beckoning you both to go in. Toji goes in first and chuckles softly as you walk in next and gasp with excitement.
“Woahhhh, Nanami you’re so full of surprises!” You yell as you jump on top of the deep crimson red bed that’s in the center of the room. “When did you do this?” You inquire looking around the room as your curiosity grows.
“It’s been done love I just wanted to save it for a special moment…” Nanami explains before closing the door behind himself. Toji takes a look around walking slowly looking at all the sex toys adorning the walls and inside of a glass cabinet. From wooden paddles, to rope, to butt plugs they were everywhere in this room.
“You ready?” Toji asks turning to you who was already naked as Nanami tied you to the bed. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,~” Toji teases seductively as he walks towards the bed. “You know I thought about this for a while now..” he confesses quietly while trailing his finger up and down your torso.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*𝒮𝐸𝒳 𝒟𝒰𝒩𝒢𝐸𝒪𝒩 𝒢𝐸𝒯𝒯𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒯𝐼𝐸𝒟 𝒰𝒫 | 𝒴𝒪𝒰𝑅 𝒫𝒪𝒱✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Seeing Toji so lustful for you was an unknown feeling for you, you could melt under his gaze. Your limbs are tied to each bedpost Nanami tests if it’s too tight and if it’s secure. After making sure both men begin to strip; they’re two bodies being super similar but also so different. They both have a similar stature, similar body type super muscular but the difference is that Toji has scars all over his torso. You stare at his body looking him up and down as you study his scars. Two big scars make an ‘X’ on his chest, a couple on his upper arms, and a gunshot wound near his stomach. Toji chuckles as you gawk at him making him snap his fingers to get you out of your deep thoughts.
“You just gonna keep staring?” Toji teases making the first move by crawling on the bed. His eyes fixated on your wet slick entrance staring back at him, Toji swipes his fingers up and down your entrance making you buck a little. He chuckles to himself before toying with your clit rubbing it in a circular motion and spitting on it every now and then. Nanami stands by your head slapping his dick on your face as he leans onto the bed supporting himself by grabbing the headboard with his right hand. You smile up at him before kissing his tip and taking his whole length into your mouth bobbing your head slowly. You wanted to drag every bit of cum out of him slowly swirling your tongue under his dick making him buck softly.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*𝐹𝐿𝒜𝒮𝐻𝐵𝒜𝒞𝒦 𝒯𝒪 𝒴𝐸𝒮𝒯𝐸𝑅𝒟𝒜𝒴 | 𝒩𝒜𝒩𝒜𝑀𝐼 ’𝒮 𝑀𝐸𝑀𝒪𝑅𝒴 𝐹𝐼𝑅𝒮𝒯 𝒫𝐸𝑅𝒮𝒪𝒩✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
I watched as she fluttered her eyes open yawning softly before sitting up slowly. “You slept well?” I inquired rubbing her head softly and then kissing her cheek.
You nod ‘yes’ before turning to me, “I want to do more than just thank Toji, I want to have that threesome now.” You just blurted it out just waking up which stunned me but I smiled at you rubbing your cheek.
“You know it’ll be rough right? We won’t be holding back on you princess,” I ask looking her in her eyes searching to see if y/n has any apprehension about the idea. I had a lot planned for the day you said ‘you wanted a threesome’ and I guess tomorrow will be the day.
“Yes, I’m touched starved from being in the coma!” You exclaim pouting a little which makes me chuckle before I nod my head in agreement.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*𝐵𝒜𝒞𝒦 𝒯𝒪 𝒲𝐻𝐸𝑅𝐸 𝒲𝐸 𝐿𝐸𝐹𝒯 𝒪𝐹𝐹 | 𝒴𝒪𝒰𝑅 𝒫𝒪𝒱✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
You hollow your cheeks out making lewd noises as you bob your head a little faster now. You softly begin to moan as Toji begins to finger you which made things more difficult for Nanami. He fingers you at a quick pace with his rough and calloused fingers which felt surprisingly amazing inside of you. As Toji stuffed you full with 3 fingers Toji suddenly leans up with his head now inches from your breast. Nanami now bucks his hips deep down your throat forcing you to relax to further please him. Nanami curses softly as he tilts his head back and starts to grip the back of your head. You mewl around his dick as Toji begins to suck on your pointy nipples switching from one to the other and starting to curl his fingers into you. You pull away from Nanami as your stomach begins to become warm and the coil inside you tightens.
“Don’t stop sucking pretty girl.~” Nanami commands grabbing your face and stuffing his dick back into your mouth shocking you and making you gag which only makes him buck his hips harder. While moaning around Nanami’s dick you buck your hips as you cum. You shower Toji’s lower torso with your juices making him chuckle as he pulled away from your now swollen nipples. Toji continues to finger you till you ride out your high he then pulls them out before sucking his fingers clean.
“You taste so sweet,~” Toji praises before he gets off the bed completely once satisfied and goes towards the glass case. He pulls out a vibrator, lube, and butt plug your eyes widen with excitement as you see what he’s grabbing.
Just as you look up at Nanami he looks down at you looking drunk from lust; “you are doing so well continue to be a good girl and we’ll reward you.~” Nanami explains in a breathy tone still bucking deep down your throat as tears begin to roll down your cheeks. Nanami’s dick twitches in your mouth as he hits the back of your throat cuming down it and painting your esophagus with his thick hot cum. You open your mouth as he pulls his dick out of it showing off the cum making bubbles gargling it like mouthwash. “Fuck, princess swallow.” He commands while stumbling backwards and you do as he says swallowing every last drop. Toji unties your legs and pushes them up to your chest showing off your glistening pussy and tight asshole.
“Come look at this Nanami…” Toji says beckoning Nanami to look at the artwork in front of them. Your love spot just clenches and unclenches as it’s empty and yearning to be stuffed. “So gorgeous,~” Toji praises as he licks up the juices that are dripping from your waterfall of a cunt. Both men get mesmerized by how beautiful you look showing all your holes staring for what felt like ages. Suddenly you feel a cold liquid being rubbed on your puckering hole and you squirm a bit making Nanami smack your ass.
“Stay still my love it’s just lube. Make sure to relax your lower half so it won’t hurt as much, okay?” Nanami explains before asking if you are okay you nod ‘yes’ which makes him smirk at you. “You know you must use your words, princess,” he states patting you on the head.
“Yes, yes daddy I understand..” you say closing your eyes and focusing on relaxing. But just as you do you feel Toji’s finger probing your insides trying to get it used to the feeling. You moan softly biting your lip trying not to squirm soon another finger accompanies the first one stretching your asshole further. Toji looks inside your now slightly gapping asshole and then spits in it making it pucker up. He makes a ‘tsk tsk’ sound with his tongue before rubbing the buttplug at your tight entrance. Slowly pushing it in till your hole swallows it letting the bejeweled part sparkle under the low LED lighting.
“Good job brat, you ready to suck me off. I might be the longest you’ve ever had,” Toji praises before standing up showing off his long girthy dick. It was definitely longer than Gojo’s and you felt like you were going to break during that so this was beyond you.
You gawk at it as both men switch positions; “ you ready princess?” Nanami asks swiping his tip at your slick entrance which makes you squirm slightly. “Remember what I said,~” he coos in your ear before thrusting suddenly into you making you yelp as the pain mixes with ecstasy. Nanami begins to thrust into you making the headboard hit the back of the wall demolishing your walls already. He makes sure to invade every inch of your pussy making you gasp for air as your legs are on his shoulders. The wet sounds of your parts colliding fill the air before you could even start to enjoy it Toji turns your head to his horse like appendage you’d call a dick.
“Relax that throat of yours,~” Toji teases seductively before rubbing his tip on your lips. You part your lips inviting him in which only excites him; Toji bucks his hip thrusting only half of his dick down your throat.
‘How is this even possible? I don’t know if I can take all of him? I bet he’s 12 inches long, fuck!’ You think to yourself as you try to take Toji as far as you can before gagging. Toji once again only takes that as a sign to go deeper grabbing the back of your head and looking down at you smirking deviously.
“Take it all you slutty brat,~” Toji says in a steamy voice as he began to buck his hips to reach the deeper depths of your esophagus. You moan as Nanami continues to drill into you not really giving you room to react as every thrust is right after the other at the fastest pace he’s ever fucked up.
“You’re so tight for me princess, fuck. Do you like fucking two men at once?~” Nanami groans resting his head on your feet as he continues to thrust deeper and deeper into you almost breaking your cervix. You moan around Toji’s dick making him grunt as almost all of him is deep in your throat making him grin.
“I think she does, this isn’t her first rodeo,” Toji says in a breathy tone gripping your head a little tighter not too tight knowing some spots still have to be slightly sore. You moan in agreement before looking up at Toji's eyes yours full of tears as they start to fall down your face. “Such a good brat keep it up I’ll bless you with my cum,~” Toji teases as he bucks a couple more times before throwing his head back. “Fuck-k, y/n!” Toji groans as his dick twitches he then grabs the headboard thrusting faster into your throat. You close your eyes focusing on breathing through your nose. Within the next couple of brutal thrusts he cums deep into your throat as you choke cum comes out of your nose and sides of your mouth. “Awww swallow like a good brat,” Toji says loosing his grip on the headboard and starting to stand up straight. His dick slips out of your mouth with a popping sound as cum spills out of your mouth. “Haha made her go mute, swallow it before you choke on it,” Toji teases while laughing stroking his dick and getting ready for round 2. You do as he says swallowing then choking a little as his cum was thick and filled your mouth to the brim. But as you finish you gasp for air then moan loudly as Nanami puts your legs to the side getting sloppier with his thrust.
“I’m about to cum princess then we’ll stuff you full with both of us,” Nanami says in between grunts placing one hand on your legs to make your pussy tighter and the other on your throat. You mewl loudly as your stomach tightens and you buck your hips into him making him smirk. Soon after Nanami spills his seed deep into you making you both groan with happiness as the feeling of his hot cum feels your insides. Nanami pulls out suddenly making you whine softly as the sudden emptiness makes you sad. Toji untied your arms before picking you up and plopping onto the bed with you in his arms. Nanami comes behind you and pulls you in between his legs kissing and nibbling your ear. Toji starts kissing up and down your neck going over your already pre-existing love bites from Nanami. Nanami strokes his dick behind you as he looks at you as you melt under Toji’s touch slightly jealous but still aroused. Toji begins to fondle your breast squeezing your nipples hard and making you gasp even louder. “Now you’re going to be fully demolished by two cocks at the same time you ready?” Nanami inquires whispering in your ear which sends shivers down your spine.
“Yes, daddy I’m ready..” you say smiling at the both of them. Toji shifts you to the point your bejeweled ass is seen now he slowly pulls to buttplug out which makes you moan softly. Once done he places you back into Nanami’s lap with your glistening pussy pointing at him ready to be ruined. Nanami picks you up really quick by your ass cheeks spreading them apart as he had already put some lube on his dick and slowly pushes you down on his dick.
“Fuck your ass hole is tight relax princess remember to relax…” Nanami coos in your ear slowly slipping into you soon his whole dick disappears into your ass. You groan and moan until he becomes still you try to get accustomed to this foreign feeling. You relax slightly and Nanami takes that as a sign he starts to thrust slowly into you. You moan gripping onto Toji as he starts to assume the position.
“Be a good brat don’t squirm it’ll only make it worse for you,” Toji warns thrusting half of his length deep inside your slick pussy. With a mixture of your juices and Nanami’s cum you were extra slipper making it easier for Toji. You clenched your teeth as this wasn’t what you expected but you loved the feeling. The feeling of being stuffed full of both men; two very handsome men at that. Toji quickens his pass as he pushes his whole length inside of you making you gasp for air which is short lived as Nanami picks up the pace as well. Toji thrusts in as Nanami thrusts out keeping a nice rhythm for a while, you’ve become silent just moan softly every now and then. The loudness of each body collides and juices being mixed is intoxicating enough. You’ve become overstimulated which is a first for you then out of nowhere Toji pulls out the vibrator turning it on the highest speed and placing it on your clit. “Hold this and don’t drop it, got it?” He asks clenching his fists as he leans over you slamming deep inside you. It felt as if he broke through your cervix and was rearranging your insides. As the vibrator meets with your swollen and pulsating clit you howl loudly throwing your head back onto Nanami’s shoulder.
“What did I tell you, princess? We wouldn’t be holding back,~” Nanami teases in your ear and all you can do is moan and groan. The two men thrust deeper and deeper into you becoming more and more sloppy with each thrust. You grab onto Toji’s back clawing at it with one hand as you feel your stomach warm up and tighten again for the third time today. You groan loudly as you buck your hips fluid spraying all over everyone as you are spent becoming a limp trembling mess on these two men.
“See, we fucked her dumb she can barely even moan!” Toji yells teasing you as he throws his head back grabbing your legs and putting them into the sky. He kisses your feet before whispering a string of curse words before releasing deep within you. It coats his whole dick oozing out the side of your pussy before he pulls out and it just spills out onto the bed. Toji scoops up the liquid that spills out with one hand and opens your mouth with his other hand. You lick his digits clean as you stare deep into his soul all he can do is smirk before you pull his fingers out making a pop. Nanami grabs your hips as he thrusts deeper into you making you scream before he paintings your asshole walls full of his cum. He slowly pulls out and lays you down as you are literally saying nothing just trembling as you’re a limp mess. Before you know it you’ve fallen asleep on the bed with cum coming out of both holes.
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
Once again I hope you enjoyed this one and can’t wait to upload the next chapter! Also let me know how you guys like the smut in this chapter. And IM HERE FOR ALL THE NANAMI & TOJI LOVERS! ♡ But, don’t forget to comment, leave feedback, leave a note, or anything truly. It’s all appreciated! ╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯
© ™TINYPROPHETT
[Please don't copy or plagiarize my work thank you. I don't own any rights to JJK and all photos are from pintrest or here I'll try to tag people if I can]
⟿ Link for my AO3 lovers: {also it’s 24 chapters posted on here}
⟿ Credit for the inspiration for the Chapter:
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delicatebarness · 2 days
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i think he knows | chapter seven
Summary: How much exactly did Bucky get from the bet?
Warnings: I'm not crying, I'm sweating from my eyes.
Word Count: 1358
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A/N: This might be my favorite chapter so far. However, enjoy, I'll be back writing on Saturday <3
Tags: @bigtreefest | @caplanbuckybarnes | @angelbabyyy99 | @mega-kittyglitter-1 | @cjand10 | @armystay89
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The room felt too small, you felt like you were suffocating with him standing this close to you. You could sense that you hurt him, his eyes lost the small glint of hope the second you said it. His head dropped, no longer looking down at you but more at his sock-covered feet. 
“I wanted to talk to you,” His voice trembled, causing your heart to sink to the pit of your stomach. You didn’t know how to feel. “About everything.” 
The memories of the weekend flooded back, causing your eyes to tear up. Here he was, standing in your room, willing to talk. You had the opportunity to get your answers, but, you couldn’t bring yourself to want to hear it. 
“I, I don’t,” you stuttered as you began to flush, trying to find the right words without hurting him more. “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk,” you admitted softly, barely audible.
When he lifted his head back up to look at you, you watched a tear begin to fall down his cheek. His eyes were searching for something in yours, you weren’t sure what.
“Come for a ride with me,” he gestured toward your window, you assumed the open window was how he entered into the room earlier. “Let me take you for a ride, I promise it will only be a ride. We don’t need to talk, just,” he raised his hand to your cheek, barely touching it, he quickly pulled away stopping himself from going too far. “Please, come with me.”
Looking between Bucky and the window, you fought a silent battle in your mind not knowing what to do. Your mind, that was telling you that it was a bad idea. If you go with him, you’ll be giving him more power in the situation. Your heart was telling you the opposite. It told you what you felt that night at The Overlook was real enough. 
Your mom’s voice began to overpower all the warning signs in your head, “If you truly want to know the truth, go with your heart. Your head will make up reasons to not do something that is meant for you” The advice she gave you on Friday night after giving you your space. 
With a sigh, you nodded agreeing to go on the ride with him. His face lit up with glee as he rushed over to put his shoes and jacket back on. You set your textbooks and backpack down in their usual spot before heading to the window. Bucky climbed down first, waiting for you at the bottom. Looking up he watched as you sat in the same spot on the ledge as he did only a few nights back. Guilt once again rushed through his veins, it disappeared as quickly as it came when he noticed your heavy breathing while you looked down at the ground. 
“I’m here,” he called up to you, bringing your attention to him rather than the hard ground below. He stood watching you, his arms pulled up toward you. “I’ve got you, I promise.” 
A promise he kept, with his reassurance you began to climb down and once you were within reach, he helped you the rest of the way. As you landed, you crashed into his chest. Both of your breaths hitched, and looking up at him you caught the remorse in his eyes. For the first time since that moment with him at The Overlook, your mind went quiet. 
~
The engine hummed below you, your mind eased while you pressed against his back again. The street lights began to turn on as you rode past them, the sun disappearing below the horizon. You could have sworn he rode down every street in the town, it felt like you had been riding for hours before he stopped the bike by the lake. The silence was deafening the second he stopped the engine.
You walked side by side down to the lake, taking his jacket off he laid it over the grass, gesturing for you to take a seat on top of it. You accepted the offer with a small smile. You sat with your knee up, chin resting on top. You could feel his gaze on you as he sat beside you on the grass. 
The silence lasted the entire time you watched the sun set completely. It wasn’t until it had disappeared that you found the confidence to speak.
“Who won?” Your voice broke, and your throat felt scratchy as if you hadn’t used your vocal cords in months. Turning to look at him, you noted a confused expression on his face. “The bet, who won?” 
“I promise you, this,” He gestured between the two of you, suggesting you and him were the ‘this’. “This had nothing to do with a bet.” He spoke with confidence, never breaking eye contact with you. 
You narrowed your eyes at him, he was giving you the truth-telling signs but you weren’t fully convinced. “Sure, getting close to the quarterback’s sister, making her let down every wall, distracting her from everything she’s worked for, taking her first kiss,” the tears began to well in your eyes again, you wondered how, how were you still able to cry. “Doesn’t sound like one of your games, at all.” 
Bucky’s expression faltered as he watched the tears stream down your flushed cheeks, he reached out, his hand hovering as he debated whether to touch you or not. “I messed up, I know, I’ve got a reputation.” He pulled his hand back, running it through his hair as he let out a breath. “But this, this is different. You’re different.” His eye pleaded to you as his voice softened. He needed you to believe him. 
“How can I believe you? How do I know that you’re not just,” You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the sentence. You didn’t want it to be the truth, you desperately wanted to believe him.
“I wish I could make you understand that you mean more to me than you’ll ever know,” he sighed, his jaw tensed in frustration. “I knew you didn’t see me, for all these years, but I saw you.” He looked away from you, his gaze now focused on the water ahead of you. “I’m sorry, I did manipulate this, just not in the way you or Steve or anyone else would think.”
He stopped for a moment, he rubbed his face in his hand before back through his hair. He continued, cut you off as you began to speak. “I knew if Steve caught me looking at you, he’d tell you to stay away. I knew if he did that, you’d notice me and it was less of a risk to have you come to me than me come to you.” 
“James, I -” He looked back at you as you tried to find the right words. They didn’t come. Instead, you reached your hand out to his cheek and pulled his face close to yours. For a few seconds, you locked your eyes with his, giving them a chance to show you a reason to not do what your heart was telling you. 
He looked back at you with remorse and guilt, the kind that showed you his heart had pure intentions. They showed you just how much thinking he had hurt you, hurt him. 
You allowed yourself to take a moment to get lost in them. Until his lips parted slightly as if he was about to say something. Pressing your lips against his, you silenced him. 
The kiss was soft, bare. All the doubts and insecurities melted away with every passing second. You explored every inch of each other's mouths, not wasting a single opportunity. Your hand pulled his cheek, his fingers were tangled in your hair, and you both tried to pull each other closer. 
When you finally pulled away, a spark of hope appeared over his smile, a genuine smile. Smirk is nowhere to be seen. You both caught your breath as your hearts pounded together. 
He leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours. “Can I call you, Sunshine?”
---
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homemadeaxolotl · 3 days
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Obey Me x TWST Chapter 1
(Y/N)'s POV:
(Y/N) jumped a bit when they heard the smooth, yet mysterious voice, quickly turning around to see a slightly taller man with fair skin, dark clothes, and a black crow mask. (Y/N) looked confused as they looked at the man, quickly snapping out of their confused stupor as they spoke cautiously. "Umm… Who… Who are you…?"
The man smirked and chuckled as he stepped closer and spoke. "I'm Crowley. The Headmage of this school behind me." Crowley motioned to the large castle looking building behind him as he spoke dramatically. "Night Raven College." The eccentric man then turned to face (Y/N) and leaned in close to them, speaking curiously with a little bit of a little bit of a mischievous edge. "Now, who might you be?"
(Y/N) backed up a bit, a little startled by how much Crowley's eccentricity reminded them of Solomon as they spoke cautiously. "I'm (Y/N)…"
"(Y/N), hmm? Interesting…" Crowley smirked, backing up a bit as he spoke softly to himself. "Certainly not from here… Powerful magic energy… Even alerted Malleus during the housewarden meeting… But I couldn't… Or could I?" Crowley tilted his head sharply, much like (Y/N) remembers Mammon and his crow familiars doing, as he kept speaking softly to himself. "I quite possibly could…"
Suddenly, a new voice could be heard along with multiple different pairs of footsteps. "Crowley? Who is this?"
"Hmm? Oh, Divus! I'm so glad you all could join us!" Crowley quickly added onto his statement when he saw eight other people behind the staff. "Along with the housewardens and our prefect. How wonderful!" He then turned back to face (Y/N) and spoke. "This is (Y/N), the apparent source of the magical energy Malleus sensed. I was about to place them in Ramshackle with Yuu and Grim."
Before Crowley could say anything else, a slightly taller man with green and black clothes, black hair, and black dragon horns spoke up. "Actually, Headmage, I would prefer for them to be in Diasomnia with me, if it's all the same to you. I'm quite interested in finding out just how powerful they are."
"Tch, that doesn't mean the herbivore has to stay with you, you stupid lizard." A man with tan skin, shoulder length brown hair, and lion ears and a tail, rolled his eyes as he glared at the black haired man. "Guys, I think Leona's jealous of Malleus." A boy who looked to be (Y/N)'s height smiled jovially as he spoke teasingly, making Leona turn to glare at the younger looking boy, his tail flicking in annoyance. "I'm not jealous of that damn lizard. Why the hell would I care where some stupid herbivore stays?" Malleus, the "stupid lizard", smirked at Leona as he spoke almost condescendingly. "Now, now, beastie. There's no need to be jealous."
Before Leona could escalate any further, Crowley clapped his hands together once with a wide smile on his face. "I think Malleus' idea is excellent! As long as Malleus is okay with it, which he clearly is, our guest can stay in Diasomnia until further notice!"
"Shouldn't we ask our new friend what they think? They look quite confused." A man with short black and purple locs, predominantly purple clothes, and white gloves, quickly spoke up as he motioned to (Y/N), who did indeed look very confused. "Who are you people? And what's Diasomnia?"
"Seriously? You herbivores were just going to make them live with the damn lizard without even telling him anything?" Leona growled before rolling his eyes and turning his uninterested gaze to (Y/N). "This is Night Raven College and us seven-" Leona motioned to himself and six other people behind him "-Are the housewardens of the different dorms. The housewardens are Riddle Rosehearts, the Heartslaybul housewarden, me, Leona Kingscholar, the Savanaclaw housewarden, Azul Ashengrotto, the Octavinelle housewarden, Kalim Al-Asim, the Scarabia housewarden, Vil Schoenheit, the Pomefiore housewarden, Idia Shroud, the Ignihyde housewarden, and that damn lizard-"
"My name is Malleus Draconia, prince of the Briar Valley, and the housewarden of Diasomnia. And you will be staying in Diasomnia. Normally, this wouldn't happen, but you are a special case, child of man. I've never sensed such powerful magic from anyone before, so I am quite interested in you." Malleus smiled softly at (Y/N) as he interrupted Leona, who growled in annoyance. Malleus then motioned to Crowley and the mysterious man with split dye hair who had a fashion choice that would give Asmodeus a heart attack, along with the other man who spoke up earlier. "These two are Crowley, the headmage of this school, Divus Crewel, our sciences professor, and Sam. He runs the school store."
(Y/N) looked around as everyone was introduced to them before they noticed another person and a walking cat. "What about those two?"
The human sighed and stepped forward, smiling at (Y/N) as they spoke. "I'm Yuu, and this guy with me is Grim. He would have introduced us, but he was hexed by Vil not too long ago and Vil refuses to undo it." Grim looked very annoyed and Vil looked smug as he smirked down at Grim before turning his sharp gaze to (Y/N) as Yuu spoke again. "I don't think we ever got your name." (Y/N) nodded as they spoke. "My name is (Y/N)."
Crowley grinned and clapped his hands together as he spoke excitedly. "Excellent! Let's get you settled in, shall we?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alright, I finally got this chapter out! I'm sorry it took so long, it's getting close to finals week so I'm focusing more on my college classes right now. I can't promise I'll post another chapter before the second or third week of May, but I'll definitely work on it and I'll post it if I just so happen to finish it, but don't expect anything anytime soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist: @axvfr
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phoward89 · 14 hours
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Chapter 5:
Coriolanus is at the PK Base in the communications center, sitting in one of the video phone booths. He's holding the receiver to his ear and watching the staticy small screen; waiting for Tigris to answer. He has so much to tell her. In fact, he's over the moon to tell her all about the love of his life: you. He's absolutely positive that she'll be happy for him.
When the static breaks and then clears slightly to show his cousin, he smiles like a madman. “Tigris, it's so good to see you!” Coriolanus exclaims, so much excitement in his baritone.
Tigris' gentle blue eyes widened slightly at her cousin's chipper demeanor. He was usually sullen during their sporatic calls. “Oh, Coryo, you look so much happier since the last time we talked. Did something happen?” The blonde girl asked, curious to know why her cousin was suddenly in a better mood.
“Yes.” Coryo nodded. Beaming, he blurted out, “I got a girl, Y/N, and she's just a perfect sweet darling.” His baby blues were sparkling with pride as he added in, “We’re serious, have our own place and when I pass the Elite Officer's Examine we’ll be able to leave 8.”
“Oh…” Tigris trailed off, her face full of shock. She wasn't expecting her cousin to be so serious with somebody so soon. Especially after he seemed so heartbroken about never being able to see Lucy Gray ever again.
Was Tigris wrong in her assumption that Coryo loved the songbird? If so, then she truly hopes that he's found love with you. But she also knows that her cousin has the genetics that can easily make him become like his father: General Crassus Snow.
Hearing him say that he's taking an Elite Officer's Exam makes her skin crawl. Tigris knows how cold the officers are in the various branches of Panem's military; she doesn't want her sweet cousin to be turned into a cold, heartless, hateful man to be used as a tool for the country.
A country that kills tweens and teens for entertainment disguised as punishment. Gosh, everything about Panem makes Tigris sick. And to think that her cousin, her sweet little Coryo who's a good person, could be used in a way to support the country's propaganda and skewed outlook bothers her. Makes her blood freeze up in her veins.
“Isn’t it great news, Tigris?” The platinum blonde peacekeeper asked, fishing for praises.
“Yes, yes it is, Coryo.” Tigris replied, her smile a bit too tight, too forced, and her voice a bit flat.
Coryo's face fell at his cousin's overly fake reply. “I thought you'd be happy for me Tigris.”
“I am happy for you, Coryo. I am.” Tigris weakly assured her cousin.
“I've found somebody that makes me happy, who needs me; makes me feel powerful, and I'm one step closer to getting us back home, to the Capitol. But, you don't sound as happy about it as you claim to be.”
“Coryo…” Tigris sighed, trying to find the right words to tell him about the hardships that have fallen upon their family within the last few weeks.
“Is Grandma’am around?” Asked the platinum peacekeeper. “I'm sure that she'd be happy to hear about my accomplishments.”
“Coryo, Grandma'am’s in hospice.” Tigris revealed, her tone sad as her face twitched with sorrow.
“Hospice! What do you mean she's in hospice? She was fine a month ago, what the hell did you do to her, Tigris?!”
“Me? Oh, Coriolanus, do you hear yourself right now?” The blonde aspiring fashionista snipped. Shaking her head, Tigris started to explain, “Grandma’am just shut down and started to wither away after we lost the penthouse-”
Coriolanus icy eyes popped out of his head. “Y-you lost the penthouse?! When were you going to tell me this, Tigris? Huh?”
“The back taxes were just too much to pay, so the penthouse was put on the market. But, Pluribus is letting me stay in the apartment above his club.”
“Okay, but what does any of this have to do with Grandma'am being admitted to hospice care?”
“Coryo, having to declare bankruptcy and sell the penthouse; letting all of the Capitol know that the Snow's are poor just broke her dear old heart.”
“She's dying from a broken heart? Really?” Coriolanus asked in disbelief.
“Yes.” Tigris nods. “The doctor said that Grandma’am lost the will to live; that it'll only be a short matter of time before she goes. And she's already in a catatonic state.”
“Are you still working for Fabricia Whatnot?” Coryo asked, his baritone colder than it had been mere minutes ago.
“Yes, I'm still working for her.” His cousin confirms with a nod.
“Good, because I won't be sending half of my pay to you anymore. The Grandma’am will be dead soon, due to her own pride and self induced delusions, and my money, honestly, is better suited taking care of my girl here in 8.” Coriolanus told Tigris in a chilly tone. One so chilly that it'd cause hell to freeze over.
“Coryo-” Tigris began, confusion all over her makeup slathered face, only to be cut off by Coriolanus’ icily steady voice saying, “I'm all my girl’s got, Tigris. I have to take care of her.” Looking at his cousin like he didn't even know her anymore, he remarked, “Unlike you, Y/N doesn't lie to me about how bad things are. At least she's honest, but you've had to have known for months about the past due back taxes on the penthouse and you never said a damn word to me about it.”
“Coryo…I didn't want you to worry about us. I was taking care of everything.”
“Time’s about up, Tigris.” The platinum peacekeeper announced, feeling betrayed and lied to by his cousin, who he viewed as more of a sister then a cousin.
“Coriolanus, you sound just like your father right now.” Tigris pointed out, her heart breaking at hearing the frostiness in his baritone and seeing cold deadness in his eyes.
“Well, I am his son. Perhaps I'll follow in his footsteps; rise to military greatness.” Private Snow told his cousin before saying a curt goodbye and hanging up on her.
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It's getting close to the time that Coryo usually comes home from work and you're in the small kitchenette making dinner. It's nothing too fancy, just a simple stew. But your platinum peacekeeper never complained about what you made. He always ate his supper with a smile plastered on his face. In fact, he'd usually get seconds; pester you into eating another share too (he always said it was in order to build up your strength so you'll heal faster).
You're stirring the pot, making sure that nothing sticks to the bottom, whenever a faint knock appears at your door. You almost don't hear it over the sound of the radio, that's how light the knock is. Not wanting the stew you worked so hard on this afternoon to burn, you turn off the stove before going to answer the door.
“Ashlie, what're you doing here?” You asked your brother’s former girlfriend as she stood in front of you.
“Some of the girls at the factory are worried about you; I said I'd stop by and check up on you after my shift.” Ashlie answered as you heard the sound of Coryo's boots clambering up the building’s staircase.
Nodding, you simply said, “I'm fine.”
“Are you, Y/N?” Ashlie pressed.
Nice of her to worry about you now, but where was she before?
“There's been rumors that you've taken up with that blonde peacekeeper. That he's been living with you.” Ashlie all but hissed in a shameful tone.
“It's not a rumor.” You told her while noticing Coryo's tall denim clad frame appear at the top of the stairs, right down the hall.
“Look, Y/N, I'm sorry about not being around as often as I should, but if you need help gettin’ away from that peacekeeper I'm sure that Declan can help smuggle you out of the district.”
Smuggle you out where? You don't have any money and you're all alone. How are you going to survive hiding out in another district? Districts you're sure are just as bad if not worse than 8. The poor, lower end districts are all clumped together and, frankly, they seem to get worse and worse as you start going between them.
At least with Coryo your rent's paid, you've got enough food to eat, and you're not cold anymore. He’s decent company, when he's not in a condescending mood, and he seems to be devoted to you despite not knowing you that long. With Coryo you're comfortable for the first time in a long time. For once since moving to 8 you're not tempted to do a swan dive off the bridge into the toxic river surrounding the district.
You'll take your chances with your peacekeeper.
Shaking your head, as Coriolanus trudged down the hall, you told Ashlie, “I'm fine here with Coryo. He takes good care of me, so you don't need to worry.”
“And what happens when he gets bored of you; tosses you aside for another girl?” Ashlie asked as your boyfriend got closer. “Y/N, sweetheart, don't be a fool and trust him. He's a Peacekeeper for Christ’s sakes.” Berates your once sister. “One bred straight from the Capitol as I understand too.” The brunette spat out in disgust, right as your platinum peacekeeper appeared behind the girl that's slandering him.
“Darling, is this ratty whore bothering you?” Coryo coldly asked, his icy eyes narrowed at the girl blocking his way into the apartment, as he came to a stop right by the door.
His frosty timbre startles Ashlie; has her jumping out of her skin. Coryo's tone of voice doesn't bother you one bit. Why should it? His coldness isn't aimed at you.
“She was just leaving.” You assure your boyfriend, only to give Ashlie a look that reads ‘you need to go, now'.
“Well the girls at the factory are worried about you; hopefully you'll be able to return to work soon.” Ashlie remarked instead of leaving, like she should’ve done.
“She won't be returning to work at the factory.” Coryo bluntly announced, pushing himself by Ashlie and literally shoving you inside of the apartment. He blocked your view with his tall, sinewy frame while standing right in the doorway.
The platinum blonde's head lifted up in superiority. His glacier blue eyes bore into the former Seam girl with disdain as he explained, “As Y/N’s man, I take care of her and pride myself in treating her the way a proper Capitol born man treats his girl.” Gripping the door so hard that the wood began to splinter and crack, he barked out, “You're not needed around here. She's got me, so leave or else I'll bring you to base and turn you in as a rebel.”
Ashlie's Seam grey eyes widened in fear and horror at hearing Coriolanus’ words. With the rumors that she's heard about you being kept under lock and key by the platinum blonde peacekeeper, who by now everyone knew was sent from the Capitol; was a second generation military man, Ashlie was starting to worry about you. And when the girls that worked with you on the looms in the PK uniform factory’s weaving room started to express their worries to Ashlie, well she decided to pay you a visit.
Offer you some much needed support. A lifeline out of the predicament you're in.
But the brunette wasn't expecting you to turn down her help, to insist on staying with your oppressor. She also didn't think she'd be threatened by said oppressor, the pretty boy peacekeeper from hell itself. Ashlie feared for both her own safety and yours.
Maybe she should've came around more often, then maybe you wouldn't have become such easy prey for a peacekeeper with a cold hateful glint in his eyes.
“And the next time you show up to my house I'll have you hanged off the bridge’s trestle.” Coriolanus darkly promised, his face a mask showing no feelings, before slamming the door shut in Ashlie's face.
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Coryo was quiet as he shed his coat, hanging it up on the hook near the door. “I made stew. I'll go dip it up.” You told him while he began to unlace his boots.
“It smells good, darling.” Coriolanus complimented, slipping out of his black boots, as you grabbed some bowls from the cabinet.
“You say that about everything I make.” You teased, portioning out the stew into a pair of bowls as Coryo pulled off his denim fatigue shirt.
Walking over to the table and laying his denim overshirt on the back of his chair, the platinum blonde simply said, “Because it's true.”
The atmosphere in the room wasn't heavy per say, but it wasn't light either. You felt like something happened today, something to put him in a sort of mood. And not a good one either. You really didn't want to stoke his mood into a roaring fire of unliveable sassy attitude, so you didn't say a teasing word back to him.
No, you just carried the bowls of stew over to the small table as Coryo took his seat at it. You couldn't help, but slip on a smile at the sight of your giant of a boyfriend dwarfing the sorry excuse for a kitchen table you had. Hell, the table looked more like a small school desk as he sat at it.
Silently, Coryo followed your every move with his icy eyes. He watched as you set the food on the table before fetching the bottle of milk from the fridge. Coryo knows how luxurious fresh milk is, so he's proud that he can buy it for you. He himself went without it for so many years in the Capitol.
The Snow family always seemed to go without; to struggle within the safe borders of the Capitol. Something that he was supposed to change. Coriolanus was supposed to dig his family out of poverty, but instead his family's been torn apart.
All because Tigris lied to him about how bad things really were.
Fuck!
He would've found a way to get her the money for the back taxes, to avoid a foreclosure on the Snow ancestral home, if she would've only told him that she couldn't pay.
How could Tigris, his own cousin, do that to Grandma’am; to him? And most of all to you.
You!
Who he promised to whisk away to the Capitol once he was able to. Now where are the both of you going to go when he gets clearance as an Elite Officer to return home: to the Capitol? He sure as hell can't bring you to the above club shoebox apartment Pluribus gave Tigris.
And to think that his Grandma’am's dying from a broken heart because her home was taken from her. Her beloved rooftop rose garden that was her joy is now withered if not destroyed by the highest bidder. To think that the old lady's in hospice, due to no will to live, all because Tigris couldn't be honest about the back taxes.
Damnit, fucking bitch should've worked a few corners to come up with the money. Anything to pay the past due taxes; keep the Snow family penthouse in the Snow family.
Where it belongs.
The sound of the milk glasses lightly clinking against the warped wooden table tore Coriolanus out of his thoughts. Watching you sit down next to him, he grabbed his spoon and told you, “Darling, let's promise not to lie to each other. Shall we?”
Oh boy, something definitely happened to him today. You didn't know what, but his remark about lying to each other tipped you off that he was lied to and he's upset about it.
Picking up your own spoon, you tell him, “I promise I won't lie to you, Coryo.”
“And I won't lie to you, Y/N. Which is why I have to tell you something very unsettling.”
Something very unsettling? What the hell did he do, shoot somebody during target practice? Murder somebody for a spot on the Elite Officer's Examine roster? Hell, the suspense is killing you.
Not literally, just figuratively.
“Today I talked to my cousin, Tigris, on the phone in the base’s communications center and I learned that things are worse than I thought they were back home: in the Capitol.” He revealed in between eating his stew.
Having a bad feeling, you asked, “What's wrong, Coryo?”
“The Snow penthouse has been seized and put into foreclosure for unpaid back taxes.” Coryo spat out, his eyes full of anger, as he held his spoon so hard that it was about to bend between his fingers.
His family home foreclosed due to back taxes. Oh boy… You weren't expecting to hear that. You can only imagine how high priced the taxes are in the Capitol considering how pricey things are in the districts. Capitol City, Panem is full of rich elites or wannabe rich elites, so…Yea…The price tag on things in the Gem of Panem, the Capitol, is surely higher than in the rest of the country.
“Tigris told me that everything was fine, but she lied.” Shaking his head, he tossed his spoon in his bowl, causing a loud clang to ring out. “I've been sending home money, assuming that Tigris was using it wisely, but now I don't even know what she did with it.” Reaching for his milk glass, he dryly added, “She didn't pay the taxes, that much I know.”
Reaching forward and placing your hand on top of his, you gave him an empathetic look. You felt for him, for his family. “Coryo, I'm sorry she lied; made you think everything’s ok when it isn't.”
Your boyfriend threads your fingers together, holding your hand, as he sips on his milk. He can't help, but feel lucky to have you. You're being so supportive and understanding about his family's fall from grace.
About him losing the Snow ancestral home. The home that he was supposed to take you to.
Placing his glass down after drinking from it, Coryo shook his head while gritting out, “And now Grandma’am's in hospice, dying of a broken heart, because she was forced out of her home.”
Poor Coryo…
To lose his home, his grandma, and to be lied to by his cousin.
“Seems like we've got more in common than what meets the eye.” You told him, letting him know that you sympathized with his situation.
“It seems we do, darling.” Coryo nodded. Picking his spoon up and scooping a portion of stew out of his bowl, he repeated, “It seems we do.”
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You're washing the dishes whenever you feel a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist. Coryo's right behind you, hanging on you, but you don't pay him any mind. You just keep on washing the bowl in your hand with the sponge- a sponge that has seen better days.
Your boyfriend nuzzles his nose into your temple, inhaling your scent. Kissing your cheek, he swears, “I promise, once I'm an officer and get into a wealthy position I'll buy back our home. We'll live in it once again.”
“Don't make promises that you can't keep, Coryo.” You advised him, rinsing out the bowl and setting it aside on the makeshift drying rack (which was a cookie cooling rack resting on a dishtowel).
“I intend to keep that promise, baby.” He told you in between peppering kisses up and down your neck.
“Coryo, stop that. I still have dishes to do.” You sighed, trying and failing to wiggle out of his hold while starting on the second dirty bowl.
“One day when I become President and make you my First Lady you won't ever have to lift a finger to wash a dish ever again.” Coryo smoothly murmured, kissing the sweet spot right below your ear.
“To make me your First Lady you'll have to marry me, Mister President.” You sarcastically pointed out, rinsing soap suds and bubbles out of the bowl.
You're placing the bowl onto the drying rack whenever Coryo spins you around. Tipping your chin up, making your eyes lock onto his baby blues, he seriously tells you, “Once I get my officer’s stripes I'm going to marry you.”
The weight of his words comes crashing down on your head like an anvil in an old cartoon. “You really want to marry me?” You asked, not quite believing the situation to be real.
You're just some district girl that he got into trouble and felt pity for. Yes, he takes care of you, but making you his wife's a whole other story. That's a lifetime commitment considering divorce was abolished in the early years of Panem's creation- which was after the end of both WW3 and the 2nd Civil War, which coincided.
“Yes, baby.” The platinum blonde nodded. A wide smile spread across his face as he cemented his fate with the words of, “I'm going to marry you and give you the life that we both deserve as Snows once I get my officer's commission.”
“You know, people in the districts have different ceremonies then Capitolites do for marriages.” You informed him; knowing that you're going down a path you can't turn off of as you do. “Couples in 12 do a toasting by breaking bread at the hearth over a fire they stoke.”
“Too bad we don't have a fireplace.” Coriolanus seriously pouted.
Oh wow, he's serious about this marriage thing. Lucky you.
“Yes, too bad.” You half heartedly agreed with him. Resting your hands on his chest, you decided to explain what you learned about weddings in District 8. “I've heard that here in 8 most weddings are typically held on Tuesdays and Thursdays in November and December.”
Your boyfriend’s brow rose with interest. “December you say?”
“Yes.” You confirm as he strokes your cheek with his thumb. “The bride sews her own dress, which is typically blue or purple, and makes a large amount of food for the guests who stay for dinner and then a late supper. While family and friends are gathered at the house, the couple’s joined hands are bound by a strip of cloth; then they recite words or poetry to complete the ritual.”
“And this ritual’s binding in the eyes of District 8?” Coriolanus asked, holding your gaze with his icy eyes. Eyes that were filled with both trepidation and hope.
“It's binding in all of the districts. I'm not sure about the Capitol tho.”
Bringing his forehead to rest against yours, he simply said, “Mary me on Thursday. I'll bring Sejanus home with me and we'll do the 8 ceremony.”
Believing it impossible to marry so soon, you react with, “But that's in 2 days, Coryo. I'll barely have enough time to make a dress. Plus I have to cook food.”
Bringing his other hand up to your face, so he was cradling it between his large calloused hands, the platinum blonde told you, “I'll bring home some material for your dress tomorrow and the only guest you need to cook for is Sejanus. You don't need to cook up our entire pantry.” His lips ghosted over yours. “Let me take care of you; marry me, baby.”
If you say yes to this sudden spur of the moment wedding you'll be giving up your freedom. In the districts’ eyes you'll become Mrs. Snow, wife of a Peacekeeper. One who's certain he'll become an Elite Officer. Is that what you want?
Hell…
You honestly don't even know what you want. But you do know that you refuse to go cold and hungry ever again because you're alone and can barely get by.
So, for survival purposes, you give Coryo a smile and tell him, “I’ll marry you.”
Without warning, Coryo kisses you. His lips hungrily pressed against yours, as if he was a man starved and his only fulfillment came from your mouth. You moved your lips against his, which only caused him to deepen the kiss by slipping his tongue into your mouth. Your fingers twisted and dug into his white T-shirt as your tongues intimately danced while your lips clashed, pushing and pulling for purchase.
You let out a little breathless sigh as Coryo broke the kiss, pulling back slightly so the two of you could catch your breath.
Coryo's icy blue eyes were nearly black with lust as he looked into the windows of your soul. His large hands still cup your face as he confessed, “I’d love nothing more than to bring you to our bed and fuck you right now, but since we're to be married in 2 days I'll wait til the wedding night.”
“Oh, so you're going to make an honest woman out of me first before you corrupt me?” You asked, your tone a bit light and teasing.
What difference was a couple of days? It wasn't like you're from a rich aristocratic family that needs to see the sheets in the morning for proof of innocence lost and consummation.of marriage. You're a district girl, nobody in the districts care about purity til marriage, etc.
Besides, even before you agreed to marry him you knew you'd be fucking Coriolanus. He's your boyfriend, it comes with the territory. The only question was when.
Now you have your answer: this Thursday night- your district style wedding night.
Leaning his forehead against yours, Coryo steadfastly declared, “You can't corrupt someone who's willing to drink from the silver cup, my darling.”
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amoreva · 1 day
Text
FEIGNING FOR YA
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CHAPTER 2
pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
summary: the first signs of acknowledgement from your family about your relationship and planning and…Luke is a good fake boyfriend!
warnings: not proofread! slow burn, college au, smau, fake dating to dating, cursing, clarisse x chris, aged up! pjo charcters, yn is older sister figure to percy, luke and thalia are older sibling figures to annabeth, drinking
a/n: inspired by charlie’s recent boxing photos! ik it may be a little choppy, but i wanted to put smthg out there before i go on my trip. comments and feedbacks about writing are much appreciated!
series list | next
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Ding!
A passive aggressive text shows up on your lock screen from Aunt Shelley. You were out with Silena, Clarisse and Thalia when the first signs of acknowledgment of your new relationship shows up.
The photo of your friend group covered by (now) two texts from Aunt Shelley:
Aunt Shelley
I wish you would tell us about this boy of yours before announcing it to the whole world.
3m ago
Kidding! He seems lovely.
1m ago
She was not kidding.
You sent back a short text, making up some excuse about why you haven’t said anything. Sure, you hard-launched the “relationship” intending for your family to see, but that backfired. Kind of.
Most of them didn’t care about social media yet they insisted on following you when you made an account.
Aunt Shelley
Tell him to buy brighter clothes for Easter!
now
At least they didn’t seem to recognize Luke’s mop of curls. Luke has only been to your house once in high school in freshman year. Well, Luke had matured since then and he did gain some meat on his bones. You wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t recognize him.
“Their reactions will be funnier when I introduce myself.” Luke mumbled with closed eyes. An arm wrapped around you abdomen. His thumb rubbing your side. Cheek pressed against your shoulder as he listened to you.
He insisted on taking a nap at your dorm to strengthen the image of your faux relationship, totally not because he was escaping his frat’s latest activities. It was something like a date auction or car wash.
“Do you plan on listening to my Aunt?” You asked, referring to Luke’s closet.
“Fuck, no.” Luke answered with ease.
“Will you at least be civil?” You asked and nudged your shoulder against his head.
Luke picked up his head and looked at you. “We’re supposed to be rebelling. Pissing off your parents for being judgy and shitty and what not.”
Honestly, you were hesitant on “rebelling”. Sure, it was just bringing Luke over and dating him because your parents hate him. But, you didn’t want your parents to hate you for being disrespectful nor rude.
Luke noticed your hesitation. He sighed through his nose. “Fine. I’ll play nice.” He laid his head back on your shoulder. “But you owe me take out if the food is bad over there.”
Believe it or not, Luke had become more docile. His touch more gentle and caring. His pocket always had chapstick now that he had a “girlfriend” again. Was he always like this with his other girlfriends?
You been there everytime Luke was in and out of relationships, but you never seen how he acted with his significant others.
And thankfully, being in a fake relationship with Luke was quite easy. The two of you know each other like the back of your hands. It was practically the normal platonic chemistry, just add cheek kisses, holding hands and flirting. No butterflies appeared nor hands got sweaty around him.
Perfect.
Because thinking about your best friend in romantic sense was the wrong pathway to go. It’s not like you have, just…think about all the movies and books. Usually they never ended well (you think).
“Charlie knows I called it. I knew it!” Silena exaggerated pridefully. Both of you were walking to your Art History Class. “The way you guys would look at each other and—gosh…I still can’t believe it.”
You laughed at your friend’s delusional nature. You can’t exactly pinpoint a time when Luke and you gave each other a look before this contract, but whatever helps Silena sleep at night.
The two of you sit at your usual seats and wait for the rest of the students to trickle in.
Ding!
Mom
Your father and I are very excited to meet this new boyfriend of yours!
now
You wondered if she remembered Luke. He did leave an impression on her. The first time Luke met your mother, he was a little excited and rowdy because you and him were going to stream a new movie that left theaters.
Your mother hated when the quiet in the house was broken when Luke and you were excitingly talking. “You’re like a fly, disrupting this environment.” She scoffed from the dining room and went upstairs to her room.
Safe to say, you hung out at Luke’s house from that day forward (you just gave him your Netflix password). Thankfully, Luke didn’t feel too hurt.
“Oh! I know.” Silena placed her notebook on the table. A suggestive grin on her face. “There’s this party we can go to and celebrate you lovebirds!”
“Silena, that’s not really necessary—”
“You gotta see it for yourself though!”
“See what?”
“That twinkle in their eyes.”
“What?”
The professor entered the lecture hall and began the lesson on art from the transcendentalist period. Twinkle? What twinkle? Like the stuff that romance novels describe when a character falls in love? Come on, that can’t be real.
“Like romance book twinkle?” You leaned over and whispered to Selene. She smiled knowing she had you hooked. Her pencil moved as she talked.
“Like when you get dressed for a party or a date and…and…” She tore her eyes away from you to look if she spelled a word right in her notes. “…they get that first look and their eyes light up like you’re their whole world.”
Your professor called you and Silena out for talking and the both of you quickly write down the notes. Though you both continue the conversation.
“Listen, our friend group doesn’t have to go party or go to a bar. Just suggest a date with Luke tonight and watch his eyes when you’re in your date night outfit.” Silena and you walk to the gym, scanning your ID and going through the turnstiles.
You look at your phone again.
Luke<3
boxing with beckendorf
13m ago
Silena and you walked towards the destination. The familiar black compression shirt and mop of chocolate curls appearing in your field of vision. His gray sweat matching his top.
Beckendorf was spotting Luke as he hit the punching bag in calculated movements. He shifted his weight between his two feet and with laser focus the material of the worn out glove made contact. Beckendorf grunted quietly. Luke could pack a punch.
It was kinda hot.
“Charlie!” Silena disrupted the practice to go hug her sweaty boyfriend. Luke and him must’ve have been taken turns hitting the punching bag.
Luke turned in your direction. A slow smile spread across his fast. He was quick to get his gloves off before greeting you with a forehead kiss. “Hey beautiful.” His hands resting on your waist.
If your next boyfriend wasn’t meeting the same standards as Luke was right now, you didn’t want him. Luke was practically the perfect boyfriend.
“We should go on a date tonight.” You suggested, obviously curious about this “twinkle” Silena was talking about.
Luke grabbed his gym bag and put away his boxing gloves. You grabbed him a white towel to wipe off his sweat. “Yeah? For what?” He drank some water and tossed his gym bag on his shoulder. “Your family being shitty to you again?”
Silena and Beckendorf said quick goodbyes and left the gym. You took out your body spray and spritzed Luke with it a couple of times. “No…” You made sure Silena and Beckendorf were gone. “Easter. We need to talk about Easter with my family?”
“What is there to talk about?” Luke asked and sat down on the wooden bench. You joined him. His musk covered by your body spray.
“I don’t know…like—” You paused trying to get the words out. “What we should do if like—my mother asks some stupid question. Or my aunt flirts with you or if my family ask you to prove we’re dating.”
“You’re not trying to get me to take you out and get you food are you?” Luke nudged your shoulder and teased.
“Yes.” You stated bluntly. “But more importantly, Easter.”
Luke and you decide to go out to dinner at a diner nearby. You made him shower and change first before anything. While he was at his dorm, you were struggling to pick and outfit to successful procure a twinkle.
You stood in front of your mirror, looking at your reflection. Clarisse was on her bed, reading a book for her English class. Though she got distracted by you numerous times.
After what it felt like the umpteenth time putting on different jeans and skirts and some sort of clothing combination, Clarisse her headphones away from her ears. She could feel your frustration and dilemma. The hot-tempered girl wa sin your shoes when she had her first day with Chris.
“Wear something casual, but cute.” Clarisse suggested and scanned her eyes over the clothes scattered on the floor.
“Like that with…that.” The articles of clothing made sense together, but would it give that twinkle you were curious about. It would have to do for now.
“When’s he picking you up?” Clarisse sat up. “I promise you, you’re overthinking this. It’ll be fine.”
You look at her after changing into the clothes she picked out. “I know, I just—what if this doesn’t work out?” Of course, you had in the rebelling against your parents with this relationship, but to Clarisse—you looked worried about your relationship with Luke.
“It will.” Clarisse reassured. “You’ve been best friends for how long?”
A couple of knocks rapped against your door. Clarisse gestured for you to take a deep breath before she went back to reading. You stalked over to the door and opened it.
“Go change.” You immediately stated upon seeing his shirt.
In big bright white letters, his shirt read “I <3 my girlfriend.” Forgot the twinkle, that stupid t-shirt was going to haunt you forever if you let Luke go out in that.
“What, why?” Luke whined, knowing exactly why.
“Luke! Go change or—or…” You hesitated to find a right threat.
“Helpful hint, sweetheart. If you’re going to threaten me, find a viable threat before you start it.” Luke called out and went to change.
You were going to strangle him. Maybe this relationship won’t be as easy managing as you thought. You were praying Easter will go how it’s planned or at least work in pissing off your parents.
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taglist:
@happy-mushrooms @m00ng4z3r @justanotherkpopstanlol @2hiigh2cry @celluifleur @thatbird-fromrio @yuminako @pookiebear16 @mxtokko @cxcillia @kai-islost @kidkrowk @iluvpjo
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porcelainseashore · 2 days
Text
Into the Ether (3)
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(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, ...)
Pairing: Vampire! Toreador! Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader
Summary: At the all-night events cafe you run, you’ve become acquainted with an elusive patron, Leon, though you can never remember the last moments of your interactions together. After a harrowing encounter, a love-hate relationship develops between the two of you as you grapple with your newfound status in a world of darkness and investigate the reasons behind the untimely attacks.
Content & Warnings: 18+ Resident Evil x Vampire: The Masquerade crossover, horror, mystery, romance, slow burn, strangers to enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, eventual smut, swearing, smoking, non consensual blood drinking, blood bond, vampire turning, violence, injury, mild gore, torture, minor character death, RE characters (Chris, Claire, Ada, Wesker, Jill, Sherry, Hunnigan, Rebecca, Baker Family, Merchant, Patrick), VtM concepts (Camarilla, Anarch, Sabbat, Second Inquisition, Toreador, Ventrue, Brujah, Gangrel, Nosferatu, Malkavian, Tremere, Ghouls).
Authors' Note: Suggestive themes, violence and mild gore ahead.
Taglist: @admirxation @xoxostarlet @miss-oranje-disco-dancer ❤️‍🔥
AO3 Link
Chapter 3: Fires of Rebellion
“So, talk,” you demanded, crossing your arms as you kept yourself at a suitable distance from Leon. 
Both of you were currently walking up north along Good Street towards the City College. The plan had been to take a left at some point and head over to the park by Warren Street, where hopefully there would be some benches for you to relax on. It was still early enough in the night for your surroundings to be relatively bustling with people, so you weren’t too worried that the man beside you would try anything risky or stupid. In any case, you knew where you kept your pepper spray at hand if things went south.
“You’d already sensed it from the beginning,” he stated, swallowing thickly. How was it this hard to tell you who he really was? If he could sweat blood, he’d fill a whole bucket’s worth. Pig’s blood. A cop in pig’s blood. He knew plenty of people who’d pay to see him drenched in the vermillion fluid. “That I’m not exactly normal.” That was what he settled with.
“What, you mean like a serial killer or something?” you scoffed, shaking your head in mild vexation.
“No.” His voice was solemn but firm as he glanced at you briefly, making eye contact. “I didn’t… assault you, not in the way you think.” He pressed his lips together into a thin line. “I just- I do things… that aren’t exactly normal.”
Great, Leon. You just made yourself sound like a fucking magician. Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and paused his footsteps. “This is going well.”
You almost felt sorry for the guy. He seemed to be having such a difficult time articulating what he wanted to say. Was it some sort of kink he was talking about? The logical part of your mind berated you, insisting that this could go down far worse than you imagined, but you pushed it aside.
“Like what?” you asked, your morbid curiosity getting the better of you.
His jaw tightened as he shifted his weight uncomfortably from side to side.
Before he could respond, you took the initiative, positioning yourself in front of him as a form of challenge. “Show me,” you requested.
His head darted in every direction, scanning the area with an animalistic instinctiveness and you thought you saw his eyes illuminate in a different color. However, when you blinked a second later, it had returned to its original pale shade of blue. “Too many people,” he muttered. “I’ll do as you ask, but we need to head somewhere quieter.”
You should’ve ran off after he said that, but your legs stayed rooted to the ground. Your lack of self-preservation was alarming. “The park, then?” you suggested.
He nodded in compromise. “I could work with that.”
The rest of the walk there took place in awkward silence, as you dwelled on what he would do and whether you were walking into one big, fat trap. Well, at least Patrick had his business card. And PIs, they had a registered license, didn’t they? It was too late to back out now, you’d gone this far and you wanted to see it through.
When you had found a secluded bench at one of the shaded corners of the park, he spoke up again. “Do you remember the first night we met? When-”
“You offered me cigarettes in exchange for coffee,” you finished the sentence for him.
“Yes,” he said with a wistful smile, as if reminiscing about a day he’d cherished but had long since passed. “You felt it, didn’t you? Compelled to stay, but with no reason why.”
Despite your reluctance, you had to agree with him. That moment between standing by his table and sitting with him to share in a smoke had been like entering the twilight zone. You were you, but yet, at the same time, weren’t.
“I can do it again here, if you want,” he murmured, his eyes burning with an intensity that seemed to bore right into you.
It wasn’t the first time you had leaped before looking. You’d always been known to be a little more reckless than your peers, but it seemed like you never really learnt your lesson well. “Be my guest,” you gestured melodramatically, as your hand swept across in one grand motion.
“Now, you’re just mocking me,” he chided, though a ghost of a smile still lingered on his lips.
This time, there was a tingling sensation in your body, like an invisible warm light gradually enveloping you, except it seemed to exude from him. You were entranced by his stature, the minute details of his face, everything about what he was, to the point where you couldn’t tear yourself away from his gaze.
“Sit,” he directed gently, placing his hand along the back of the wooden bench.
You felt nothing but desire. Desire to do anything he wanted you to. Without a word, you sank onto the bench like a doll, still giving him that doe-eyed expression one would normally reserve for a celebrity they were starstruck by.
Taking his seat beside you, he urged, “Come closer.”
Obediently, you shuffled up along the bench towards him, except it wasn’t out of fear of punishment, but a strange, radiant love that emanated from within you. When you were just inches away from his face, he slowly revealed the tips of his canine teeth, which were pointier than usual, and seemed to grow with each passing minute. As his features eased up, you could feel the uncanny warmth dissipate from your core, and though you were still captivated by him, his face seemed to lack the same lustrous sheen it held moments ago. Like a wandering spirit, you had arrived back into your own body. You were you again.
His eyes latched onto you, waiting, watching, biding his time, to see what you would do. Though he remained poised and composed, the unsteadiness of his breathing and the flicker of trepidation across his irises gave him away. He was afraid that you would leave him, for good. And after what he had given to have the right to Embrace you, he wouldn’t know how he would live with himself if he were rejected.
It felt like hours had gone by until one of you spoke up. “Do you hate what you see?”
“No,” you answered, almost too quickly, cupping his cold cheek in the palm of your hand. He closed his eyes and sighed blissfully into it, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. It felt moist and heated against your skin.
You surprised yourself with how well you were taking all of this in. This shouldn’t have been possible and nothing about what he had shown you made sense. You blamed your tolerance on the late, sleepless nights and hanging around with the offbeat characters who frequented your cafe. 
What if monsters did exist? you humored. Maybe not in the literal sense of vampires, but someone who relished the flavor of blood, and who’d learnt a few tricks of hypnotism. You tried to rationalize it as much as you could, but there were still so many missing pieces you did not fully understand.
“How many times?” you asked. “Did you force me… each night?”
He lowered his gaze, marred by shame, while looking to his hands nestled in his lap. “It was just that once,” he whispered. “I wanted you to stay with me.” 
He pursed his lips. “The rest, later on… was you.”
“Did you-”
“Yes.” 
You didn’t even need to continue your sentence for him to know what you meant. Yes, he tasted your blood. Yes, he enjoyed it. Yes, he came back for more. And more.
“I’m sorry,” his voice cracked.
You didn’t acknowledge his apology, allowing even more time to slip through your fingers. A while later, you ran them along his cheek towards his lips, where his teeth which now looked more like fangs lurked. Right, how would you explain that away?
He didn’t stop you when you traced one of their edges, as if trying to figure out if they were real. He let you press the tip of your finger against its peak, purposely pricking yourself in some kind of deluded masochistic fantasy. The rush you felt from it was indescribable, like a spike of venom flowing into your veins, though it wasn’t as intense as the previous times to truly immobilize you. Grasping onto the back of the bench, you steadied yourself from the dizzying sensation.
A dark, ruby bead blossomed at the site of the puncture. His mouth lay open as he inhaled sharply, gripping the trousers on his thighs, and there was a wild look in his bloodshot eyes. However, he remained motionless, restraining himself somehow, as if awaiting your instruction.
“You like this?” A mixture of bewilderment and arousal seeped into your tone, as you brought your bleeding finger to rest just at the entrance of his mouth.
All at once, his veneer of calmness shattered. He swirled his tongue against your fingertip, causing you to gasp as it made hot laps around the miniscule droplet of blood you had to offer him. Dipping his head, he took the rest of your digit into his mouth, eventually sucking on it whole as he emitted a low groan in pleasure. When he finally let it go, a slick string of saliva connected to it from his lips, wet and hungry with need.
“I, um-” you shuddered, at a loss for words, as you retracted your finger, folding it into your hand.
Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he straightened up in his seat, adjusting his attire and hair, as if he had come back to his senses once again. “You don’t have to decide on this right now,” he assured you.
“Okay.” You nodded shakily, your mind spinning from all the events that had just transpired. “Could we take another short walk before I head home?” 
It would probably help to cool off a little, you thought.
“Anything you need,” he asserted, getting up as he took another glance around the park, before extending his hand to you.
You stared at it, contemplating further. “Just don’t-” you hesitated, pausing to rephrase your words. “I want to trust you, Leon.”
“I’ll earn it back,” he promised. “However long it takes.”
That was all you needed to hear from him. Perhaps you were naive to a fault, but you took his hand anyway, allowing him to lead you out of the park, and to whatever else fate had in store for you that night.
━━━━━━━━━━━
Over the course of the evening, a thin fog had developed, shrouding the sky and enveloping the moon and stars in a blurry veil, casting a muted light over the city. You and Leon had taken a short detour towards the more touristy part of town, where the landmark Saint Michael Clock Tower overlooked the grand waterway.
The ornate, Gothic structure loomed intimidatingly ahead, its roof cloaked in a wispy gray mist, though you could still make out the time on its huge clock face. Ten minutes past midnight. It was getting late, and although you were accustomed to working until the wee hours of the morning, you preferred to get some sleep on your nights off when possible. However, right now, a part of you wished that the night would last longer. 
There wasn’t such a wide distance between you and Leon as before. In fact, your fingers were nearly touching, but neither of you had taken it further to close the final gap. Even in complete silence, punctuated only by the sounds of the city’s buzzing nightlife, both of you had somehow agreed on which pathways to take, falling in sync with each other’s footsteps, pauses and turns, like an unspoken dance. It was nice like this, having no expectations of the other person, just walking and feeling the thread of connection that bound the two of you.
Every now and then, he peered at you inquisitively, and you wondered if he had something to say, but when you looked his way, he turned his gaze back to the street in front of him. Coming to the entrance of a tunnel arbor near the clocktower, you paused to admire the sight of the vines and flowers that were wound around the metallic arches, interspersed with marigold fairy lights. There were still a decent number of stragglers in the vicinity. Probably the remaining tourists for the day who didn’t quite want to wrap up yet, some of whom were posing for pictures near the picaresque arbors.
“Cat caught your tongue?” Always the instigator and taking the confrontational approach. That was what you were known for.
“Hm?” he deflected, yet smiled at you knowingly.
“Just looked like you had something to say.” You shrugged, placing your hands on your hips.
“Nothing escapes you, huh?”
He was teasing you again; you were certain of it. Though this appeared to be twofold, where the second part was meant as a misdirection to hide a secret from you. 
“It should be obvious that I like you,” he stated plainly.
Obvious to the point where he couldn’t afford to have one of those obnoxious Anarchs stake their claim over you, just for a bit of territory. You were worth so much more to him than that. Surely, it would be the lesser of two evils for him to be the one to Embrace you? It was all he could think about when he made that deal with Ada. Always justifying and compromising. That was what he was known for.
You couldn't fathom the sheer astonishment and joy that overcame him when Ada returned with the news a few weeks later:
“The Prince granted your wish,” she mentioned with an indifferent wave of her hand.
“How?” he choked in disbelief. “It usually takes years!”
“You underestimate me,” she scoffed. “Have you forgotten that I’m the voice of society?”
“No, of course not.” He hung his head in disgrace, as if he had just been told off by a parent.
“Anyway, I don’t have to tell you twice that you should thank him in person.” 
Lifting a bejeweled chalice to her lips, she tasted its contents, allowing it to linger on the palate before letting it wash down her throat. “And by ‘thank’, I mean ‘grovel’.”
“Yes, sire.” He bent down on his knee and kissed the back of her hand in respect.
A shadow of annoyance flickered across her face, morphing into a frown. “You do know this makes you look weak?” she questioned rhetorically. “Being unable to convince the Prince yourself?”
He knew better than to respond when Ada was in such a mood.
“Don’t embarrass me.” 
Her warning rang loud and clear in his ears.
“Who is it obvious to?” you challenged, pulling him out of his reverie. Maybe you had an undeniable urge to see him lose control over you again.
At this, he drew closer towards you, his eyes ablaze like a blue flame, as he snaked his arms around your waist. That was it - the thrill, the feeling you missed. It rippled through your body, leaving goosebumps in its wake. But before he could go any further, a sudden force tore him from his hold on you, hauling him violently backwards. He was flung in the air across a couple of yards, landing against the wall of a building with a sickening crack.
In the background, you heard screams coming from all directions, alongside whooshing sounds, followed by loud thuds. One soon popped up behind you and in an instant you found yourself smacked to the ground. There was a shrill ringing in your ears, your eyes watered, and your vision blurred as you started seeing double in front of you. You felt the back of your head. Wet. Sticky. Flowing. Your fingers were red and the concussion you suffered induced a dizzying spell.
A grizzly face appeared before you, but you couldn’t quite make out any distinguishable features, except for the familiar shape of long fangs that glistened under the arbor lights. There was no time to put up a fight or even cry out for help, as you began to sink deeper and deeper into unconsciousness.
Leon had watched the entire scene unfurl before him like a twisted snuff film coming to life. The attack had taken him by surprise, but he quickly got up from his fall, resetting his bones and shaking it off like nothing had happened. The whole place was awash in scarlet. Blood streaked the city streets, trickling into every gap and crack, as the victims were messily drained of their lifesource. Whoever was behind this wanted the world to know. And that was when he witnessed the first of them turn.
A Mass Embrace? These Kindred definitely reeked of the Sabbat, and if not, they weren’t anyone who had been presented before the Prince; he would know. There wasn’t a second left to spare - he had to find you immediately. In his line of sight, he saw one of the culprits feeding on you greedily, and the primal rage he felt within him almost caused his Beast to take over. He hunched over and growled ferociously. His features transformed into something monstrous and his eyes were crazed as globs of saliva dribbled down his mouth.
It was fanning the flames of a Frenzy, one where he would slaughter every being in his path regardless of who they were, tearing them from limb to limb, and eviscerating their carcasses for what they had done to you. But his concern for your well-being won him over. Mustering up his willpower, he resisted the Beast as much as he could, and though he was still enraged, he needed to think straight and prioritize getting you to safety. That was all that mattered.
In the bat of an eye, he zipped across, yanking the other vampire away from your limp body, as they traded rapid blows. Another aggressor joined in the fight, as Leon dodged their swift counterattacks with deceptive ease, before connecting his right fist to one of their jaws and dealing a precise uppercut with his left to the other’s ribs, catching both of them off-guard. 
Everything seemed to pass by in quicktime as he moved with an unnatural grace, spinning mid-air over one of their backs, only to grab the other from behind and slam him to the ground savagely. Gathering the rest of his strength, he took advantage of the momentum to stomp on the vampire’s head with the heel of his shoe. There was a nauseating crunch as his skull caved in from the blunt force trauma, splintering and sending blood splashing across the pavement, driving him straight into torpor. One down, one more to go.
The brutality of the violence he had displayed unnerved him, yet fuelled his excitement as adrenaline coursed through his veins. He attributed it to being partially influenced by the Beast the moment those bastards had put your life in danger. At least he had not fully succumbed to it. That was what he tried to tell himself while putting a lid on his unquenchable thirst for more. More violence. More bloodshed. They deserve it…
A cacophony of ghastly howls erupted from a distance, bringing him back to reality. Jill, it had to be, Leon realized. The Sheriff was coming to subdue this severe breach of the Masquerade. As the other vampire lunged at him, Leon’s reflexes took over, timing it such that he skirted the edge of the assault unscathed. Instead, he circled around, placing the attacker in an unyielding headlock. The vampire struggled vigorously, attempting to kick and claw his way out of Leon’s grip.
It was then that he heard Jill’s gruff yells in the vicinity, as the pack of dogs under her control barked and gnashed their teeth viciously at the remaining offenders, clamping down on their legs to prevent them from escaping. The Hound, a group of Kindred who reported to her, had arrived in tow, twirling wooden shafts in their hands, each sharpened at one end. Grinning menacingly, they struck at the assailants, staking them immobile before dragging them away.
“You need this one?” Leon called out. He might as well play by their rules where he got the chance, even if the Prince himself had decreed a perpetual Blood Hunt on the Sabbat. Anything to be in the former’s good graces. It was all for show, anyway.
Jill turned sharply, her mouth contorting into a wicked smirk, as she stalked towards him. “Leon… always at the right place, right time, huh?” Her voice was more akin to brutish snarl, but he knew when she meant her threats and when she didn’t. At this point, she was on his side.
“We have our hands full of the rebellious trash.” She jerked her thumb back to her crew, who were skulking around in the dark with their catch. “Kill this motherfucker.”
Without hesitation, Leon snapped the vampire’s neck clean, ripping his head off in the process as his lifeless body fell to the ground in a heap. Letting out a huff from the effort, he tossed the head aside, feeling nothing for the wretched being that lay at his feet. Or did he? He chose not to dwell on it any further, finding something else to distract himself with as he glanced down at his clothes, frowning when he noticed they were smeared with all sorts of fluids and innards. Dry cleaning was gonna be a bitch.
Jill signaled towards your body with her chin. “This one’s barely alive.”
“She’s mine.” A deep-seated possessiveness surged through him as he stepped between you and Jill, unwilling to let you be snatched away from his grasp again. Swooping down, he lifted you into his arms, ready to cart you off from this gruesome site. “Please, I don’t have much time.”
Narrowing her eyes, she tilted her head and a low rumble reverberated from her chest. “Alright, pretty boy. You’re answerable to the Prince though,” she warned.
“Understood,” he replied snippily, cringing at the nickname she often used to wind him up.
Directing her attention once again to her Hound, she commanded, “Torch the rest!”
The poor, newly created vampires never stood a chance, dealing with both the life-changing alterations to their bodies and the molotov cocktails now lobbed at them. They had no idea what was happening as they were set aflame in the towering bonfire, screeching and wailing until they were reduced to nothing but ashes. The smell of singed skin and flesh hung in the air.
Tightening his grip on you, Leon recoiled involuntarily in fear as he fled from the raging inferno. “Hang in there for me,” he whispered, praying to a long-forgotten god that he wouldn’t be too late this time. 
Racing like his life depended on it, he kept to the shadows, using the cover of darkness to navigate through the maze of Raccoon City towards his haven.
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sturniolo-rat · 3 days
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Chapter 1: Cherry Contact
A/N: If this flops, I’m going to cry😢 In loving memory of @newsourceofnonsense, she's not dead; I just like the memory of her.
Contains: smut, oral, fingering , exhibitionism, plot
TW: tell me if you find any
Chris and Y/N are two walking commitment issues that enter into a mutually assured attachment.
Everyone thinks Y/N is a book hoarder, but she considers herself more of a book collector. She has over 700 books that take up damn near her whole apartment. The collection consists primarily of special and first-edition books. It’s probably worth around $50,000, but she doesn’t care because she plans on keeping them forever. To fund her obsession, she works as a waitress at a restaurant that just opened up called “The Copper Kitchen.” her best friend, Dorset, is a freckle-faced white girl with short brown hair, green eyes, and circle glasses. She also happens to be a bartender at “The Copper Kitchen.” Currently, Y/N is outside of her apartment waiting for Dorset so they can carpool to work. When Dorset pulls up in her shitty car, Y/N is ecstatic because she has big news to share. 
“Dot, I’ve done it!” she says as she hops into the passenger seat. 
“Wh- what have you done?” She’s very concerned that Y/N has done something crazy. It wouldn’t be the first time. The last time something like this happened, she told Dorset that she got her ex’s name tattooed on her left ass cheek.
“I’ve decided to have sex with men again!”
Dorset is relieved. “OMG! Yes! We can finally fight over men again!” They laugh as she merges back onto the road to begin the short trip to work.
“Yep, I’m meeting a guy at the restaurant after my shift,” Y/N says proudly. She's been off men since her break up three years ago, and this new guy is the first not to give her the ick within the first week of talking. She knows meeting up doesn’t automatically mean sex, but she hasn’t had dick in 3 years and feels that she owes it to herself to fuck this man. It’s not like she’s interested in anything else from him. Romance is strictly off the table for her. She prefers to stick to smutty romance books and shitty Tumblr fanfics of perfectly romanticized versions of men. 
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear all about your little hookup.” They part as they head to their respective jobs at the restaurant—time to deal with shitty customers who tip like assholes. 
Twenty minutes before the end of her shift, the most obnoxious kids walk in. They’re not actually kids; they're about 20, but Y/N considers anyone under 22 a kid, and these guys seem incredibly immature.
“Hey guys!” Says Nick, holding up the camera. “Welcome to today’s Friday vlog where we will be…”
Matt takes the camera, “trying the food at…” 
Chris gets into the shot and yells, “The Copper Kitchen!”
Nick hits Chris in the head “Don’t yell in my fucking ear!” 
“Don’t hit me, Dickface!” Chris hits him back while Matt holds the camera and laughs to the side.
The Y/N comes up and loudly asks, “Is this your whole party?” She gives them a disapproving look. 
Matt is the first to speak, “Yes, ma’am, it’s just the three of us today.”
“Sorry, ma’am,” said Nick and Chris in unison. Chris is noticeably more embarrassed than Nick is. He’s absolutely mortified to be seen acting like a child in front of such a beautiful woman.
“Thank you. Let me show you to your table.” She picks up three menus before walking them to their seats. Only when they’re all sitting and looking up at her does she realize that the three boys are triplets. “Can I start you off with something to drink?” 
She points to Matt. “Root beer, thanks.”
She points to Nick. “Water, if you don’t mind.”
She points to Chris. “What’s the best virgin mixed drink you guys have?”
“I’m not sure, but you can never go wrong with a Shirley Temple. Do you want me to go ask the bartender?” She would love to tell Dorset about the sexy triplets that just stumbled in.
“Nope, we’re all good. I’ll take a Shirley Temple and a Pepsi.”
“Great. I’ll be back in a few with your drinks.” 
Y/N practically runs to Dorset. Chris can’t help but watch her ass as she walks to the bar to order his drink. When she returns a few minutes later, she hands Chris his drinks last.
“Thank you for the Pepsi, but this…” he lifts the mixed drink and hands it to her. “is for you, miss…” he pauses to look at her name tag. “Y/N. It’s an apology for making a scene in your restaurant.”  Nick and Matt are in shock over how forward he’s being. Chris has never really flirted in front of them before. It’s kind of weird, but they can see why he has so many girls in and out of his room. 
“Well, thank you…”
“Chris.” he interrupts. “Please, call me Chris.” he gives Y/N a charming smile.
“Thank you very much, Chris. However, my shift is over, and Michelle will serve you for the rest of the night.” 
“I’m sorry to see you go, miss Y/N, but I hope you have a good day.”
“Will do, Chris,” says Y/N before she walks away to sit across the room at the bar. She talks to Dorset about her date tonight while she waits for him. His name is Theo. He’s blonde with deep brown eyes, and from what Y/N can tell from sexting, he’s so fucking good at dirty talk. Unfortunately, he is 30 minutes late to meet her. 
Chris has been relatively quiet for today’s video. He’s been distracted watching Y/N enjoy his drink and seeing her smile and laugh with her friend. She looks somewhat distressed now, and Chris can't help but think he’s found his opening. He makes the boys wrap up the video and leaves to get Y/N’s number. 
He turns on his charm and sits on the stool next to her. “What’s got you so worried, miss Y/N.”
“Pretty sure I’m being stood up. I’m also pretty sure people under 21 can’t sit at the bar.”
“Who says I’m not 21? Maybe I’m here to buy you another drink.” 
Y/N cocks her eyebrow as she calls her friend over. “Order me something then.”
Chris tries to think his way out of this. “Listen, you guys are friends, right? She’s just been stood up, and a handsome young man would like to buy your friend a drink. I’m sure if you just forget to card me this one time and let me buy her a Shirley Temple with vodka and extra cherries, it would make her night ten times better.”
“My hands are tied, Y/N. You’re my weakness.” she looks to Chris. “Dirty Shirley coming right up.”
“You’re fuckin’ smooth, aren’t you?” asks Y/N. 
Much more confident than he was moments before Chris responds, “Yes, ma’am, I am. Now tell me all about the bad man who hurt you.”
“I’m not really hurt,” she replies, but Chris can tell she’s hiding something. 
“No?” he questions.
Dorset comes with her drink, and Y/N takes a nervous sip. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course you can, Miss Y/N.”
“I’m not hurt. I was just really horny, and I got my nails done for this date, and not I can’t even touch myself at home because my nails are so sharp,” she says, completely embarrassed. She doesn’t make eye contact with him and focuses intensely on eating her maraschino cherries. 
“I don’t mean to be too forward, but…” he leans in, whispering in Y/N’s ear, “ I think I can help you with that.” She doesn’t miss a beat. She takes his hand and drags him to the large family bathroom. Dorset claps and cheers them on openly as they make their way. Y/N makes a mental note to get her back somehow later. 
She palms him through his pants, and Chris grabs her face, pulling her into a rough, hurried kiss. “Oh, fuck. You taste like cherries.” he hikes up her uniform skirt and rubs her over her panties. 
“You have yourself to thank for that.” 
He spins her around so he can watch her face in the mirror as he touches her. “You’re also soaked. Do I have myself to thank for that, too?” before she can say anything, Chris’s finger is spreading her lips apart and playing at her entrance. 
She closes her legs in response. “Nope, not so fast. You gotta eat it first.”
Chris sinks to his knees. “Yes, ma’am.” he wastes no time. He spreads her thighs apart, slides her panties to her knees, and starts lapping at her clit from behind. He’s got to be quick because his brothers are waiting for him. 
She bends over the sink, propping herself up on her forearms. “Oh, fuck!” she groans. 
“Hush, Cherry. Don’t want to get fired for fucking on the job, do we?.” The vibrations from his laugh makes Y/N’s pussy shiver causing her to wiggle a little. Chris loves watching her ass jiggle. “Has anyone ever eaten your ass?” he parts her cheeks and gives her a playful spank. “You have such a cute little asshole. Do you mind if I try?” 
“Yeah, you can try,” she says sheepishly, hiding her face from the mirror. 
“Don’t worry, I won’t forget to give your clit some attention.” 
“Oh, yes! Just like that!” Y/N cries out louder than she means to as his tongue explores her ass. He rubs her clit with the pad of his finger, and she lets out a breathy moan. Chris is hard as a fucking rock, and she’s making such pretty sounds. It’s torture not to touch himself, but he came here to help her out and needs to focus on making her cum. 
“Yeah. Tell me how you like it.” 
“Fingers, please,” she begs. 
“Tell me how many you need, Cherry?”
“Two. Just two, please.” Y/N takes his fingers inside of her with ease. He searches for a moment to find that special spot of hers. “Right there!” 
Chris is so happy with how open she’s been to him. The girls he’s been with recently have been so meek. She’s such a good girl telling him just where she needs him. He works his fingers into her faster, making sure to hit her G spot every time. Y/N starts pushing herself back on his fingers. Chris feels her pussy begin to tighten like a vice around him. “You’re such a good fucking girl. Cum for me, Cherry. Cum on my fingers.” her legs giveaway as her climax burns through her, and Chris has to hold her up as he tries to work her through it. 
When her orgasm subsides and her vision comes back, Chris is on the floor holding her. She rests her head on his chest and says, “Thank you. That was fucking amazing.”
“Anytime, Cherry. I don’t expect any reciprocation today, but I feel I am owed your phone number.” He hands her his phone, and the new contact is already open. 
“Of course, here’s my number, Chris.” she hands the phone back to him, gets back onto her feet, and pulls her panties up. She leaves without saying goodbye. Chris looks down at his phone and smiles at her contact name. “Y/N🍒 (Sexy Waitress)”
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