#telling me they can still see me even if I feel invisible or even if I want to disappear for a while

[not-poignant]

Birthday Spotlight - Crielle ferch Fnwy

[18 April - Aries]

Crielle ferch Fnwy is the matriarch of the An Fnwy estate, a beautiful, evil Machiavellian supervillain who has been manipulating the Seelie Court and her family for tens of thousands of years, while giving the appearance of being a perfectly loving Seelie fae who only cares about truth and justice.

Mother of Gwyn ap Nudd, and aunt of Efnisien ap Wledig, Crielle is actually only rarely seen in stories, but has an explosive impact regardless, due to the trauma she inflicts or causes others to inflict on our main characters.

‘You’re not mine. You may have stolen from our family legacy, you may have parasitised our reputation, you may have even exploited and ruined the things about our appearance that make us – not you – beautiful. But you are not, you have never been mine. If you felt a short, sharp shock when you came into the world, my darling, it was my hands around your throat while your father tried to pull me off you. ‘Imagine, if you will, my dear, reprehensible thing. Imagine the first time you came back to me after we sent you away to play with Efnisien. Oh you were only twelve or thirteen? What a lovely idea that was. And Efnisien had you for hours. I told him to use knives. He liked them so, and he didn’t think he’d be allowed. So precious. And I heard the distant echo of your screams like a faint, familiar melody all throughout my day. A time when they stopped because he gagged you perhaps? Or your voice gave out? Tsk. He is – was – so crude. But still...effective. And do you remember? Oh, my creature, imagine it... ‘You came home hours later, hours after Efnisien. You were broken and cut and bleeding and so, so ruined. And you stumbled into the house, and there I was waiting for you. Breathless, actually. And you stared at me as though I would – what? – tell you that Efnisien had crossed a line, gone too far? Do you remember what I did?’ ‘You smiled at me,’ Gwyn said, his voice rough and rusty.

Game Theory

Game Theory: Introduced as the manipulative, evil, and cruel mother of the King, Crielle starts off with Cinderella stepmother vibes, until you realise that Gwyn's her only son and she can't stand him, favouring his cousin Efnisien instead. A torturer, abuser, schemer, and conniving Machiavellian figure, she ultimately has been puppeting the Seelie Court for thousands of years, and is the cause of Gwyn attaining, and then losing, his Kingship.

It's safe to say that Crielle has never been the Most Valued Player of any story.

The Court of Five Thrones: While Crielle only has a very brief appearance in this story, her presence is felt throughout. We find out more about her feelings towards Gwyn, through journals he discovers in her house after her murder at Augus' hands.

The Drawn Bead: In a story that explores Gwyn's first love, Crielle is there as a forbidding, tormenting figure, ruling Gwyn's life with an invisible, oppressive kind of terror.

The Curse: The only story which features Crielle's perspective, we see her as a child, a teenager, an adult, and learn about her dangerous proclivities, how her family did and didn't deal with them, and the depth of her love for a select few people, a love that she gave to Gwyn right up until the moment he was born.

Fae Tales – Alternative Perspectives: Crielle is only here briefly, but we see more of her dialogue with Gwyn, and more of Augus' perspective about her.

Underline the Black: Crielle here emerges as a cruel villain to Efnisien, in a flipped/reversed narrative where Gwyn is her beloved child, and Efnisien is nothing more than a neglected science experiment. Efnisien's life is at the mercy of Crielle's whims, and she puts him first in Hillview (an institution) to put him out of sight and out of mind, but as soon as he causes too much trouble for her, she won't hesitate to strike him down.

The Spoils of the Spoiled: In which Crielle even in the human world as a human herself proves that she can be just as evil as ever. Ruler of the household, torturer of Gwyn (and later, we learn, Efnisien), and clearly involved in corruption and organised crime, Crielle lives her best life in this story until Gwyn tries to legally emancipate himself from the family.

Falling Falling Stars: In the follow up to The Spoils of the Spoiled, Efnisien - previously thought of as the beloved and protected 'adopted' child of Crielle's - reveals over time the verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse he suffered at her hands through therapy sessions with Dr Gary. Over time, we realise that no one is safe from her influence.

Crielle is very 'classically' beautiful, with blonde hair that has a slight wave in it, that generally falls down to her shoulders. She has azure eyes, a shade of blue almost never found among humans (even when she's human). She wears only enough make-up to accentuate her eyes and perfect lips, and maintains a very 'natural' effect to her beauty. It looks effortless and perfect enough that many who are experienced with beauty routines know she puts a lot of time into her appearance.

Crielle is asexual, sex repulsed, and aromantic.

Crielle is common fae, and while she's affected by the curse that Olphix cast upon the family, I like to think she'd still be pretty awful.

Born into a family in which some members are predisposed to sociopathic behaviour, Crielle was one of the worst and was not encouraged by her parents to be the way she is. Many people assume that she was abused into her evilness, but she wasn't.

To me, the concept or alienness of someone who is as evil as Crielle simply because she was 'born that way' is very fascinating to me.

Incredibly intelligent and perceptive, her few weaknesses are around the (few) people she loves and the way she will indulge them, as well as anything that threatens her reputation.

In Game Theory, when we finally realise that she is at the centre of Gwyn's devotion, standing there watching his humiliation, reacting in disgust to being called 'Mama' in a moment of vulnerability from her own son.

In Falling Falling Stars, Efnisien calls Crielle, and it becomes quickly clear that she holds no love in her heart for Efnisien when she calls him a 'ghost' and reminds him that ghosts are very easy to kill, making it clear she still wants him dead, and only inertia/disinterest is keeping her from following through because she'd already killed him once.

Always really fucking evil and irredeemable.

Frankly dies a lot.

Always a bit of a mad chemist. In Fae Tales she is a literal chemist and inventor of many different poisons. This has carried over even in to her human incarnations where in the Spoils universe she uses her knowledge of science to cultivate, create, or acquire poisons and viruses and bacteria to insert into Gwyn's food. And carries even more strongly into the Underline universe, where she runs one of the most successful synthetic hormone companies in Australia.

Visibly stunning.

Cares a great deal about reputation.

Usually loves Efnisien. Underline is the first series that has flipped the narrative so that Gwyn is beloved and Efnisien is loathed.

Kind of disdains her husband, who has no power over her.

Crielle is a real figure in Welsh mythology, though she was never meant to be an evil figure. Nor is she Gwyn's mother in the mythology. A sign of just how intensely I've bastardised everything for my own purposes.

She is good friends with the Ratcatcher of Hameln.

I wanted Crielle to be an example of how you can't expect that someone perfectly beautiful is a good person. I also really wanted to write a woman villain. I felt like a lot of woman villains at the time that I was seeing or reading were often written as petty or just in ways that made them somehow 'weak.' The appeal of Crielle is that she's an extremely effective villain and the only thing that stops her is her death (with the exception of Falling Falling Stars).

Despite how awful she is, I really love her! I'd write her more, but she's too strong and powerful lmao and she ruins my character's lives too much.

Crielle's colours for me have always been cream, yellow, white and blue. It's hard to imagine her wearing anything else.

‘How perfectly disgusting,’ Crielle purred. ‘A little worm has learned how to use the phone. I thought I had a caterpillar once, that would turn into the most beautiful butterfly, but it turns out the only thing my sister’s loins are good for, are despicable little worms.’ ‘D-Do you hate me now?’ Efnisien whispered. Crielle laughed lightly. ‘Oh, oh, my darling, I don’t hate you.’ A moment of hope, strong and bright, a sudden dawn inside of him. ‘I feel nothing for you. As far as I recall, I killed my nephew, and you are nothing more than a ghost.’

Falling Falling Stars

#birthday spotlight #crielle ferch fnwy #falling falling stars #fae tales verse #fae tales #fantasy #original writing #original work #writing villains #fantasy writing #i love crielle so much honestly #she's the worst #i don't love her in a 'she's great i want to spend time with her' way #but in a 'she's such a robust #and strong and effective villain' kind of way #i can always trust that she will thoroughly fuck shit up in any scene she appears in #and also frequently posthumously as well

[lovebugism]

hi!! shy!reader with eddie and love confession???

ty for requesting xoxo — eddie tells you he (doesn't) have a crush on you at a party (shy!fem!r, friends to lovers, 0.8k)

The local freak is greeted with thunderous applause.

Eddie’s late, fashionably so. His hair is wild, his eyes are smudged black, and his smile is lopsided. He makes the rounds across the dimly lit living room, acknowledging just about everyone he sees, and gets handed a drink along the way.

You feel strangely honored when he decides to settle next to you.

He plops down on the couch beside you — where you’ve been alone for some minutes now — with enough vigor to jostle the cushions below you. He doesn’t bother to leave anything more than an inch of space between your thighs. He throws his arm over the back of the couch and flashes a crooked pink smile your way.

“Hi,” Eddie greets, all cool as he sips from the plastic cup in his ringed hand.

Your face burns with his attention. You duck your gaze to your lap and fight back a too-big smile. “Hi.”

“How’s it going?”

“Fine,” you hum, peering sweetly beneath your lashes. “You?”

“Awful,” he quips. Then he beams. “Until now, anyway. ‘Cause I missed you.”

His words set your skin ablaze — you think you’d burn him if he touched you just now. Your chest swirls with the billowing flames. You couldn’t hide your giddy smile if you tried. “Missed you, too, Eds.”

The boy huffs. He rolls his eyes, hardly serious, as he says, “I bet you say that to all the boys.”

You shoot him a half-hearted glare, too pretty to be threatening. “There are no other boys, Eddie,” you murmur, visibly shy because he knows that. It’s why he’s smiling so damn big. 

“Good,” he hums with a lazy grin, letting the tension between you linger for a moment. He brings the cup to his mouth for another taste of bitter alcohol. It shines on his rosy lips before he licks it away. After a second or so of silence, he confesses, “‘Cause I kinda like having you all to myself.”

A weird ache settles behind your ribcage. “I bet you say that to all the girls,” you murmur with an averted gaze, anxious hands fidgeting with the solo cup you hold between them. It’s a joke — mostly — but it comes out more serious than you mean it to.

Eddie scoffs. “There are no other girls. You’re the only person in Indiana willing to give a freak a chance, turns out.”

“Is that why you’re sitting here?” you squint, still impossibly sheepish. “Because I’m the only one who’ll give you a chance?”

“I’m sitting here ‘cause you’re the only person in Hawkins I can stand for more than five minutes,” he answers without missing a beat. Then he tilts his cheek to his shoulder and smirks. “So you having a big, fat crush on me was just fate.”

Feeling seen and half-embarrassed, you turn away. “I don’t have a crush on you.”

“Oh. Right,” Eddie says with a slow, sarcastic nod. “The same way, I don’t have a crush on you either, right?”

And it’s so like the both of you — to confess something so deep by not confessing at all.

His grin widens when you roll your eyes. He knocks his leather-clad shoulder against yours but doesn’t try to move away. Still leaning against you, he continues. “Then it might also make you feel better to know that I haven’t been in love with you since tenth grade, either.”

You peek at him, just barely. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “And, you know what? I actually want other girls lookin’ at me.”

“Do you?” you hum and face him fully. 

With your chin to your shoulder, Eddie’s much closer than you thought he’d be. Your noses are mere inches apart. You can smell the whiskey-mint-nicotine concoction on his breath. The proximity makes your head swim.

“‘Cause I don’t see you at all,” he jokes with a dramatic inflection, obviously teasing.

The rest of the world is invisible when I’m with you, he’d say if he weren’t such a coward. It could be falling apart right now, and I wouldn’t even know it.

“Not even a little bit?” you press, lips quirked in a shy smile.

He shakes his head. The wild strands of his hair tickle your jaw. “Not at all,” he answers and prays you understand him in his sarcasm.

You purse your glossed lips to the side of your mouth and turn away from him again. Your cheeks feel on fire as you duck your gaze to the hardly-sipped cup in your lap. “Well, that sucks,” you quip after a few moments of silence. “I thought we had something going here.”

The boy scoffs. He drops his arm from the back of the couch to wrap more fully around your shoulders. The musky scent of his cologne swaddles you the same way his touch does.

“Oh, c’mon,” he croons with a lazy smile. “You know you can’t deny our chemistry.”

Your eyes narrow at him. “Didn’t you fail chemistry?”

His lips jut in a soft pout. “I don’t see how that’s—”

“Twice?”

You bite back a grin when he glares playfully at you — the roles now sufficiently reversed.

“Stop being mean. I’m already in love with you,” he grouses with a feigned pout scrunching his flushed features. “Now you’re just rubbing it in.”

#published by bug #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things imagine #eddie munson imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #st drabbles #eddie spaghetti drabble

[fckoffjakegyllenhaal]

regina’s puppy (2)

// regina has a soft spot for you, but when she refuses to accept why, someone else might swoop in and take your attention away from her. //

warnings: mean!regina (not to reader), slightly jealous!regina, oblivious!reader, mutual pining, annoying boys, regina being soft for reader, talks of sexuality

(this is part 2 to the series, read part 1 here)

when you walked into the cafeteria the next day, you were already fed up with the way people were acting today. ever since you got to school this morning, you were receiving various stares and hushed whispers. it caused an ugly feeling of insecurity to follow you around all morning until lunch. your eyes scan the cafeteria for the blonde, and you see her standing in line. your eyes brighten at the sight of her, and you begin to make your way to her.

“hey gina.” you greet her happily. as soon as she hears your eager voice, her eyes tear away from the person she was talking to, just to look at you. you’re wearing a baby pink long sleeved fitted top, and a pair of dark denim high waisted bellbottoms that regina exclusively picked out for you. her eyes trail up and down your body, before her lips tug into a smirk. you look so different than your usual shy, covered up self. regina’s always thought you were pretty. it was adorable how you could wear baggy jeans and oversized sweaters, along with worn out shoes, and you’d still look cute. but right now, regina thought you were—

“you look so hot.” she blurts out, and one of the jocks that’s standing nearby chimes in.

“hey, y/n, did you do something different with your hair?” he asks from a few feet away, and regina refrains from telling the blockhead to go fuck himself, but she’s curious to see how you’re going to react to the newly found attention. “yeah, i tried a new serum called, “fuck off”.” you snap, frustrated with the unwanted attention you’ve been receiving today. regina’s lips twitch and she can’t hold back the maniacal grin plastering itself onto her face. your eyes widen in regret/horror before you clasp a hand over your mouth. you get this adorably sheepish expression on your face that you flash regina; “i’m sorry, that was so mean. but you’d think i’d have a sign on my head that said “bother me” with how much people have been talking to me today.” you retort, sounding agitated.

“get used to it, y/n. they didn’t realize underneath all those hoodies, there was a girl.” she states, as she takes a tray of food, and waits for you to get yours. you snort at her comment, “that’s exactly why i wore them. they’re like an invisibility cloak.” your statement makes her genuinely laugh, and the sound never ceases to make your stomach flip. you don’t even mind the way people are whispering as they glance in your direction.

you sit right beside regina; trying to ignore the nerves bubbling in your belly. when gretchen and karen approach the table, the brunette eyes you uncertainly. “um… why are you here?” gretchen asks, and you open your mouth to respond, but regina is speaking for you. “y/n is sitting with us from now on.” regina says curtly, her tone stringent and up for no debates. “what!? but she— she didn’t take any of the tests! she doesn’t know any of the rules!! she barely has a social status!” gretchen nearly squeals, while karen offers you a smile. “i really like your top! i saw that at hollister! can i borrow it some time?” the raven haired girl asks, ignoring her best friends freak out.

regina glowers at gretchen, “you were barely anything before me, so you have no say in anything that goes on at this table.” she hisses, causing gretchen to snap her mouth shut. regina’s mood switches quickly, a content smile etching onto her face, “now that that’s settled, karen, why don’t you fill y/n in on our rules.” the blonde requests, and karen nods obediently. “rules?” you inquire carefully, and karen nods again. “yup! we have rules we have to follow in order to sit here. rule number one, don’t wear tank tops two days in a row...” she starts, and you nod as you begin to listen to the strange yet, iconic rules.

you nod along, mentally taking down each one. once karen is finished, your gaze flickers towards regina. “so for the tank top rule, do i have to wear a tank top at least once a week, or is that optional?” you ask, genuinely curious. regina lets out this uncontainable giggle that gretchen and karen had never heard from the blonde. “you don’t have to wear a tank top at all silly, but if you do, don’t wear one two days in a row.” she informs you, and you nod. “what are the tests i have to take to sit here?” you question, remembering what gretchen said earlier. regina shakes her head, “those won’t be necessary. you’ve proven your worth to me already.” she says simply, as she takes a sip of her energy drink.

gretchen gawks at the blonde; her mouth agape. she couldn’t figure out for the life of her, why regina was letting you of all people get away with this. “try this, it’s peach.” the queen bee waves her drink at you, and you take it, sipping a bit. your nose scrunches up in disgust, “ew.” you murmur, and she flashes you a pointed look before snatching the drink back. “what is that?” you question, and she flashes the can at you. “peach-nectarine redbull.” she responds, and you make a face of dissatisfaction.

“what? they’re good! aren’t they, karen?” regina asks, gesturing to the blueberry redbull beside karen’s tray of food. karen nods in agreement, “yup, regina’s fridge is full of them.” the raven haired girl chimes in, and you offer the blonde a look of dismay, “those things are heart attacks in a can, gina.” you scold her. “you shouldn’t drink them so much.” you add, and regina rolls her eyes dismissively, but her heart leaps due to your obvious concern for her wellbeing. “i don’t think i’m gonna have to worry about a heart attack till i’m like forty, y/n, relax. i need these to get through the day.” she says, and you frown.

when the bell rings, you and regina leave the cafeteria together. before you can walk away towards your next class, regina wraps a firm hand around your wrist. “did stacy agree to let you be part of the team?” she asks, and you nod. “yeah, she talked to me this morning. but i don’t think i wanna be a part of her club anymore.” you admit, and regina glowers, “why not? i swear to god if she said something else—“ regina nearly growls, but you cut her off before she can threaten stacy’s life again. “no! don’t worry, gina she didn’t say anything bad.” you promise her, causing her to search your face for any signs of dishonesty.

you don’t tell regina the only reason you no longer have an interest in debate club, is because you’d rather hang out with her after school instead. she shoots you that infamous grin that causes the butterflies in your stomach to repopulate rapidly. “well, i guess that means you can hang out with us after school now. we’re going to karen’s house today, so meet me at my locker after your last class.” regina’s request is more like a command, but you aren’t complaining.

you nod dumbly, as she walks away from you, and your eyes are glued on her the entire time. regina looks over her shoulder, catching your entranced gaze on her. it causes a fire to ignite in the pit of her stomach. she turns away, turning down the hallway and disappearing. your cheeks feel as though they’re burning, and the bell rings, indicating that you’re late for class. you shake your head, trying to push away your regina-induced thoughts before you rush to class.

throughout the rest of the school day, more boys try to talk to you. you’ve never really came out or thought twice about your sexuality; you’ve always known you were into girls. you thought it was pretty obvious, but now you were wondering if it wasn’t. “hey y/n!” micheal, one of the boys in your last period catches up to you as you walk towards the exit of the school. your step falters slightly, as he approaches you, holding the exit doors open for you.

“i was just wondering if you had any plans right now?” he asks you, flashing you a shy smile. you stop walking, feeling a bit bad as you get ready to reject him, but he continues rambling. “cause there’s this cool burger place that—” he gets cut off by that familiar voice that causes a wave of heat to surge through you. “come on y/n!” regina causes you to turn your head, there’s aways that stupid little flutter in her stomach whenever she see you. though it turns into boiling hot rage when she sees the way that boy is eyeing you shamelessly. you flash her a smile before turning back to micheal, “sorry, micheal, i have plans with regina today.” you tell him, and his face falls. he looks visibly disappointed. “oh, for sure! have fun! maybe we can hang out tomorrow?” he sounds hopeful, and you open your mouth to reject his offer again, but this time regina is intervening.

“she’s not going to be available tomorrow because she’ll be hanging out with me. again. and same answer for the day after tomorrow.” regina’s voice is harsh, and enough to make a grown man cower away. micheal looks ostensibly upset, but everyone knows better than to talk back to regina george. “come on, regina, i was just trying to ask her out—” he tries, but she cuts him off. “well don’t.” she hisses, shooting daggers at him with her eyes. “look at her, and look at you. you’re like an off brand tony hawk. y/n wouldn’t go for you even if you were the last person on earth.” she cruelly says with a sneer.

“now, come on, y/n. karen’s mom always makes the best lemon squares. you’re gonna love them.” she places her hands on your upper arms; fingernails digging into the fabric of your shirt. her grip is firm but not enough to hurt. she leads you away from micheal, and you feel a surge of guilt, but also an unknown heat pooling at the bottom of your abdomen from how upset regina was about micheal. her grip on you tightens, “ugh, he seriously thought he had a chance with you. you can do better than some lame guy on the soccer team.” she rants, as she leads you towards her jeep where karen and gretchen are waiting.

“he’s in my english class. he’s always sat next to me.” you confess, and regina stops in her tracks, taking her hands off you, causing you to stop as well. you look at regina, who has her arms crossed, “well, starting tomorrow you aren’t sitting by him anymore.” she states, her tone signifying that she’s up for no disagreements. “unless you like him.” she adds, sounding borderline unrecognizable. you scoff, “you think i’d like him? i’m actually kind of insulted you think he’s my type.” you respond, and regina feels a strange sensation of relief. she doesn’t understand why the thought of you dating some sleazy guy around here made her blood boil.

regina offers you a satisfied smile, as if she wasn’t just upset a second ago. her shift in emotions is a bit concerning, but you think it’s adorable how bratty she can be, and then content not even a moment later. but maybe you were biased when it comes to regina george, because you thought everything about her was absolutely adorable. “good. then it’s settled, you’re not sitting next to him, or talking to him anymore.” she declares, and you nod obediently. “okay, gina.” your voice is so innocent and light; you don’t sound the slightest bit upset or reluctant to do as she says. she revels in it.

“good girl. come on, lets go. the girls are waiting for us.” her pleased tone sends this thrill of excitement to course throughout you. those words; “good girl”, they caused your tummy to flutter so much it felt as though it was going to burst. you were a blushing mess as regina pulls you to her car. she notices how flushed your cheeks are, and she smirks. “y/n gets shotgun.” regina says bluntly, and gretchen’s eyes widen in bewilderment. “why does she get shotgun!?” she shrieks, and regina scowls, “because it’s my car, and i said so.” the blonde snaps in response, causing gretchen to pout.

you all get into the car, and just like yesterday, regina hands you her phone. “pick a song.” she orders, and you immediately oblige. gretchen’s jaw drops in offense, “you’re letting her aux!? you never let any of us aux!” she points out, as the queen bee pulls out of the parking lot. “y/n’s taste in music is better than yours.” regina deadpans, as you put on a faye webster song. “i love this song.” karen chimes in, and gretchen huffs. “everyone loves faye webster, karen!” the brunette snaps.

karen’s house isn’t as big as regina’s house, but that isn’t shocking. you think regina might have the biggest house in town, and you aren’t even sure what her father does for work. regina was right about karen’s mother making the best lemon squares though. you shamelessly eat three, and regina is enamored as you make endless conversation with karen’s mom. the older woman finds you just as charming as most of the teachers at school do. regina wonders if they notice how sweet your smile is, or how bright your eyes shine when you talk about something you enjoy.

regina notices everything about you. the way the blood rises to your cheeks whenever she compliments you, or remembers a small detail about you. whenever your hair falls below your shoulders in thoughtless curls; she finds herself thinking about how long it takes you to curl your hair in the mornings. sometimes it’s in a ponytail, or carelessly undone. regina often wonders how someone can look so effortlessly good all the time.

she drops gretchen off at home first in order to spend some time alone with you; she tries not to dwell on why. as soon as the brunette is out of the car, regina’s tough facade is crumbling away. “did you see karen’s dads hair? it’s a toupee.” she reveals, causing your eyes to widen as you burst into a fit of giggles. regina swears her heart nearly stops beating at the marvelous sound. “seriously!?” you ask, clearly shocked, she nods, letting out a few stray laughs. “yeah, one time karen dropped it in the toilet. he grounded her for like two weeks.” she tells you, eliciting even more giggles from you. “poor mr. shetty. he seems so nice. it’s not his fault he’s bald.” you comment earnestly.

regina’s heart swells at how adorable you are, and how you look sitting in the passenger side of her car. she gets so lost in her thoughts about you, that she doesn’t even realize the lights turned green. a loud car horn pulls her out of her ongoing thoughts, causing her to scowl and beep back. “fuck you, bitch, just go around!” regina yells, as she rolls down her window to flip off the old man behind her. you gasp, but can’t seem to contain your uncontrollable laughter.

“you’re so funny, gina.” you breathe out, looking over at her with this expression of adoration, thankfully her eyes are on the road. “i’m so glad that my anger issues amuse you.” she murmurs sardonically, and you release a little chortle. “it’s not my fault you look so cute when you’re angry.” you blurt out, and your entire face changes into a shocked expression as you realize what you just said. regina glances at you, noticing your sheepish expression. she smirks mischievously, “you think i’m cute?” she asks, feigning obliviousness.

you look over at her with a face that says “are you serious?”, and you snort. “you know you’re cute! i mean, you’re regina george. you’re everything.” you say this so easily, it causes her whole world to stop spinning for a while as her inside turn to mush. you don’t even realize the words you say have such an impact on her. the blood rushes to her cheeks, and your eyes nearly widen as regina blushes because of you. “i’ve been called a lot of things before but never “everything”.” she tries to sound nonchalant, and taunting like she always does, but her voice comes out abnormally soft. she doesn’t even recognize herself.

when she turns to get a quick look at you, she sees you’re already staring at her. your eyes hold such a look of admiration as you gaze at her. “i’m just being honest.” you respond, looking away shyly. regina’s heart is in her throat, as if it’s trying crawl its way out of her and into your lap. she tries to focus on driving, but she can’t stop stealing glances at you.

“earlier when you said micheal wasn’t your type, were you just saying that, or were you being honest?” she asks randomly, breaking the short silence. you furrow your brows, “why would i lie about something dumb like that?” you ask in response, and regina shrugs. “so i would shut up about it.” she suggests, and you frown. “i never want you to shut up though. i like hearing you, even when you’re mad.” you reveal truthfully, making her heartbeat stutter. “but i was being serious about micheal not being my type. no guy really is…” you trail off sheepishly.

there’s a sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing regina’s suspicions were correct. you’re into girls, and regina knows you’re into her. she can feel it, and your behavior proves it. “good.” the blonde says, sounding more than pleased as she turns into your neighborhood. regina was right about you; she was definitely going to be able to have as much fun with you as she thought.

a/n: @kate03-27 hope you enjoy!

also, comment if you wanna be tagged in the next part :) thanks for reading <3

#regina george x fem reader #regina george x y/n #regina george x you #regina george x reader angst #regina george mean girls #renee rapp x fem!reader #renee rapp x reader #regina george x reader #regina george x fem!reader #regina george #renee rapp #renee rapp x y/n #mean girls

[satoruhour]

toji’s reaction to seeing you in short shorts/booty shorts around the house 🏃‍♀️

PAYBACK

a/n: sorry anon i didnt exactly like how this turned out but i still hope u enjoy !!!

wc: 2.1k

warnings: sorta crack-ish in the beginning, pleasure dom toji, soft dom toji, praise, toji is obsessed w/ you, kitchen sex, clothed sex, oral (f! receiving) / cunnilingus, pussy slaps! (both w/ his hand and d!ck), fingering, clit stimulation, tit + ass fondling, unprotected sex, p → v penetration, creampie / breeding kink, brief aftercare, n*sfw under the cut

there were things that toji was good at holding back on, like telling you that you might’ve added a bit more garlic than butter for a garlic spread. he doesn’t tell you how your body heat warms him up fast and he desperately wants to pull away from you, but your slumbering state is so peaceful he would rather burn. 

and then sometimes he wishes he would just bite the bullet (even if you were his baby), because you were currently getting back at him for giving you the silent treatment. if he could do it over a trivial thing, so could you. toji’s probably still mad about your guess in charades, where you couldn’t understand that he was telling you he was riding a tricycle and not a bicycle, that mere difference of wheels causing a major roadblock in your relationship.

it was by far the stupidest thing you’ve argued about (you assume he had a bad day, too), and you were willing to talk things out and tell him he could’ve just put up three fingers instead of pointing aggressively to an invisible tricycle, but he opts to glare at you and sigh instead. you can’t believe he’s getting this worked up over a game of charades too, so you tease him the only other way you know how to.

it hadn’t been that long since you talked, but you figured you’ll need to start on dinner soon, getting a sick idea in your head when you see the new booty shorts you had ordered laying on your bed. you definitely thought it would be better for another day, but life is short and toji is not, so you pull them on and they feel divine, remembering the content smile on your face when your boyfriend had offered to pay for them — a reward well received when you check out your ass in the full-length mirror and the way it shaped your lower half.

the evening carries on as usual, but you can feel his stare once you emerge from your room in one of his shirts and he thinks you aren’t wearing any pants until you’re pulling out saucepans and reaching for the spices in the top cupboard that his shirt rides up and he can see your plump fucking ass; he chokes on his water.

with your back turned, you stifle a little grin and continue with your chores as the shorts ride up with each walk from living room to kitchen, but it’s all under the guise of cleaning and setting the table, wiping aimlessly, too, at the coffee table in front of the TV where toji sat, even if you weren’t eating there. you feel eyes on you when you return to the kitchen and continue your torture, cooking up a storm and bending over while looking into the fridge, while pulling out the plates for dinner, while—

“those the shorts i bought you?” bingo. although you’re not quite ready to talk to him yet, you succumb with a curt nod. toji obviously isn’t satisfied with your answer, footsteps approaching to lean on the kitchen island as his eyes keep his gaze locked at your butt.

“gonna ignore me for the whole day, hm?” it seemed like toji had other plans, his larger hand trailing up your thighs to your ass before curling around your waist. he’s pressing his front against you, hips grinding slightly even though you know he wants to do anything but that. you’re not wearing underwear, either, so the sensation of his bulge against your cunt is a lovely feeling and it takes everything in you not to moan.

you have to bring yourself back to reality to turn off the stove that feels so far away, hands clutching onto the countertops as you chase the familiar drag of your sex against his but toji only tuts, landing a slap onto your ass. “dinner first, baby.”

bastard. you roll your eyes and groan, but you didn’t seem to catch his innuendo, so you’re yelping when he suddenly flips you around and tugs at your shorts, pulling it off of a leg so there’s space for him. while your hands are pushing at his shoulders, desperately wanting to uphold your pride of ignoring him, you know the cool air against your cunt and the sight of fushiguro toji on his knees is only making you wetter.

and toji just smirks, looking up at you like his revered deity and you jump again at his cold hands prying your thighs apart, bringing a leg to rest on his shoulder. toji looks in love with your pussy, seeing your hole clench around nothing as your eyes beg for him to do something, anything, but he only continues to tease, running his thumbs along your folds and just missing your clit.

“use your words, sweetheart.”

“need…” toji raises an eyebrow, cheek leaning casually against your thigh and he grins as he sees you fight your own pride like you don’t want his tongue and fingers on you. give it a little more and you’ll break, because through the silence of your shared home and your heavy breathing, the tension is so infuriating that you’re willing to push away that stupid game of charades to the back of your brain.

you hate how needy you sound, though. “i need your tongue… p-please, baby,” you plead and drag out the name, and in the stuffiness of the kitchen, you think toji, one of the strongest men you know, looks the fucking best when he’s smiling up at you with a wanton want behind his eyes. “wan’ you, toji, wan’ you to eat me out!”

“oh… of course, when you beg like that,” toji plants a kiss to your puffy clit and the simple gesture makes you whine, “how could i say no to my pretty baby?”

toji delves in like he’s never eaten before, licking a thick stripe up your pussy to collect your slick before lapping at your clit, garnering a loud moan that reverberates throughout the house. you wish you never called him out on his terrible acting skills from the start, one hand keeping your balance while the other tugs on his black hair. harder and harder.

toji groans at your impatience as he feels you spread your legs further, moans and whimpers filling his ears. one hand sneaks under his shirt and squeezes at your tits, the other hugging you closer to him, fondling your ass at the same time. your boyfriend takes in everything, from your pleasured expression to your contracting tummy and he can feel himself harden below him.

but you come first, you always come first and he makes it clear when he halts for a second and you whine at the lack of contact. “eyes here, baby.” toji calls out to you, slapping your cunt and you jolt at the feeling, although it’s not entirely unpleasant; your eyes flit down to him. the other grins again and slaps your pussy a few more times, the wetness of your sex making loud, obscene noises, “tell me how good i’m making you feel, yeah?”

you mewl as you nod as his fingers prod at your hole and you swear the sudden intrusion has your stomach turning. you’re clamping down on his fingers which sets a pace, buried right up to the ends of his fingers as his palm collects your slick. your lover continues to abuse your clit, alternating between flicking his tongue and sucking.

“o-ooh, shit! they’re so deep, tojiii!” the moans you let out were almost pornographic, breathless and needy with how good he was giving it to you, the familiar feeling of an orgasm creeping up on you. his fingers keep a constant pace, stretching you out so well and the roughness of them feel so contrasting on your body, but you love it. “toji, i— fuck, i’m c-close!”

“taste so good, doll. c’mon, cum on my tongue.” the older man is ruined too, the heat of the kitchen getting to him with how the strands of his hair stick to his forehead, but more than that, he’s grinding into thin air, wanting any sort of relief for his hardening cock. “you taste like heaven, oh shit...”

“t-toji— i’m! oh, fuck, fuck fuck—!” it’s not long before you’re unravelling in his hold, legs trembling and incoherent babbles spilling from your lips as toji licks up your release leaving from your dripping, tight hole, sure to lap up every last drop. his emerald eyes hold yours as he cleans you up, body still twitching and shivering from the mind-blowing orgasm before he stands and removes his fingers, holding it to your lips.

“suck.” and you do, keeping eye contact as you wrap your tongue around him like you would to his cock, free hand already making pulling down his sweatpants that has a little pre-cum leaking through it.

“up you go, darling,” toji mumbles, plopping you onto the counter with ease, and because he’s so tall, his pelvis perfectly lines up with yours. it’s probably also because you envisioned this happening, though, that you made sure to pick out a kitchen countertop with the proper height. he slaps the tip of his cock on your glistening pussy, an angry red from being neglected, groaning as your arousal provides lube with no problem.

“just so you know, i’m buying you more of those stupid shorts,” toji confesses before he pushes past your entrance, tip already stretching you so well that you laugh and moan at the same time, arms flying to encircle his neck to feel him closer. “f-fuck, baby… so tight, just for me…”

“’s all yours, toji,” you whimper softly, an unspoken look in your eyes that just says that i’m yours for you to use, “this pussy’s all y-yours— mmf—”

by then, he’s bottomed out, taking his time in filling you up inch by inch and your submission is reason enough for him to start rocking into you, hips faltering just a little by how warm and snug you felt that it has toji catching his breath. but he doesn’t hold back once you’re comfortable, bullying his cock into you at a faster pace into your pussy that sucks him in so well with each thrust.

“your tight, little pussy’s g’na make me cum faster than usual, pretty,” toji says with a breathless laugh, mouth tasting the sweat that lines your body as he kisses your neck. 

“that’s— okay,” you choke out, pulling him away from the embrace and the sight that greets you takes your breath away. dark, lustful eyes trained on you and a stunning smile to match; you see your lover’s eyes soften ever so slightly when he hits that sweet spot in you, “i’ll take all— fuck- all of your cum, okay?”

and toji almost cums at that moment but he knows if he looks at you any longer and how your tongue lols out at how his cock fits so well in you, he just might; so he just settles for frantic nods, and nudges your head down to look at how his length moves in and out of you. your slick and his pre-cum is leaking all over the counter, squelching noises filling the kitchen. “look at how well you take me. good fuckin’ girl is what you are.”

you giggle at the praise because you know toji means every word, but your moans take over soon. there’s the twist of your core, that edging feeling that toji’s drawing out of you so well — it doesn’t help how he brings a hand to your clit, rubbing circles that you’re close, so close.

“toji, toji, toji—” chanting out his name is all you can do when you’re fucked silly, spilling over unexpectedly as you clamp down hard on his cock. toji groans when he feels you spasm over his length, hips not stopping even after you ride out your orgasm. you’re cumming so much that his stomach is wet, too, the pap! pap! pap! of his pelvis against your pussy sounding so filthy.

your babbles converge into three words, mumbling out i love yous to the older man and soon toji cums as well, swallowing your tearful confessions with a sloppy kiss and he’s releasing deep inside you. he can feel your mewls through the kiss, no doubt loving how his thick cum is spilling into you. his seed is hot, leaking from his tip in ropes and ropes until you’re filled to the brim and you sigh, content with how it feels in you.

your lazed hums make him chuckle, kissing you again and softer this time. “my baby, my sweet baby,” toji makes sure to wipe your eyes after, and mutters apologies against your forehead for the dinner turning cold, but when he sees you and your languid smile, he knows you don’t mind.

thirsts and drabble requests are open!

#anon #asks #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk headcanons #jjk fluff #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji smut #toji imagine #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji x reader #fushiguro toji smut #toji fushiguro smut #toji hcs #jjk drabbles #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji zenin

[softbeej]

may I request riding alastors thigh? its okay if not ^^!! no rush!!

you may!! :D also got a big praise kink-y on accident!

Sweet Dreams (Alastor x Reader)

You didn’t know what time it was when you heard feather light rapping on your bedroom door, but you could only assume it was gone midnight. Barefoot, you trudged to the door and opened it, mind still foggy with sleep. 

No one was there.

You even peeked out in the hallway, but still no one.

This could mean one of two things; either it was Angel pulling a stupid prank, or it was Alastor.

As if on cue, your radio buzzed to life.

“Are you awake, deary? Come up to the tower and pay me a visit, would you?”

Then, it turned off. You smiled to yourself. This is how Alastor had taken to communicating with you without disturbing anyone else. He’d send a shadow down to grab your attention (He couldn’t feel guilty for waking you if it wasn’t actually him, right?), then, he’d talk through the radio. It’s strangely charming you thought to yourself as you yanked on slippers and wrapped yourself up in a robe before making the short walk up to the radio tower.

He was sat lazily on a desk chair when you arrived. His blazer shrugged off and was hanging over the seat, tie loose and top button undone. It was weird seeing him like this, you had to admit, but it was endearing seeing him so relaxed and at ease. It also made you feel slightly warm and fuzzy how he was beginning to let his guard down around you. 

“Everything okay, Al?”

He turned in his chair and smiled, head resting on his hand, “Fine and dandy, dear! I haven’t seen you all day, just wanted to check in.” 

His eyes were lidded, you couldn’t tell if this was due to lust or exhaustion (though it was probably both), and his grin seemed sleepier than usual. He patted his lap, beckoning you toward him. You happily followed, dropping your robe unceremoniously on the hardwood floor leaving you in your pyjamas. You straddled his thigh facing him, and he gave you a short chaste kiss on the lips before wrapping his arms around you.

“I do wish you’d visit me more up here. I can so easily loose track of time...”

“I know, I know. I just never want to bug you if you’re busy! That’s all...”

He kissed your hand, “Don’t be silly. You’re always welcome up here. Sometimes a distraction is just what I need...”

You hadn’t noticed but his hands had travelled down to your hips, claws leaving invisible little scratches behind. He’d also slowly started gently rocking you on his thigh so slowly it hadn’t done registered until he picked the pace up. You giggled a little bit when you realized what he was doing and he just smiled up at you. 

“What? I’m just making sure you get a bit of attention! Think of it as an apology for me leaving you all day, hm?”

You gave in and melted into him, your panties getting more and more sodden with each of his words. You continued riding him as he kept teasing you.

“My, oh my. You really must of missed me, look how needy you are! Well, we’ll make sure you get taken care of, hm?”

You nod, and he started tapping his foot on the ground causing vibrations to shoot through your core. You reached for the zipper on his dress pants, but he brushed you off. “Not today, dear. Just let me take care of you, yes?”

Your hands instead moved up to his chest, half to balance you and half to just touch him. He kept bouncing you incessantly as you ground down on his thigh. You were sure his leg was soaked by now, but he honestly just seemed too tired to care. You kept letting out little mewls as you rocked back and forth, the whole time his gaze never leaving yours. 

“You really needed this, didn’t you? You look so pretty like this, like an angel.” He mused.

Your breathing hitched, “Ah... Close...”

He nodded understandingly, tightened his grip on your hips and bounced his knee slightly more violently, “You can cum, Darling. Don’t have to wait for permission... Not today, at least...”

You melt into him as you came, almost collapsing but he held you up. He helped you back to your feet and after checking that your knees definitely weren’t about to buckle, gathered your gown and draped it back over your shoulders before you both left his tower and retired back to the hotel. 

“You’re probably as tired as I am after that...”

“Sleep with me?”

Instead of insisting he slept in his own bed, he silently walked past his bedroom door and obediently followed you to yours.

#hazbin hotel smut #alastor smut #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin smut #alastor #hazbin x reader

[waterhousse]

Invisible String

pairing: college!ellie williams x reader

summary: a week in your life where someone leaves you an anonymous note and you also meet a cute girl in one of your classes.

author’s note: this is un(necessarily) LONG, so take your time to read it. i hope you still enjoy it !! <3

• • • •

monday

you were in front of your dorm, digging for your keys in the mess of your backpack when a high-pitched voice yelled your name. of course, it could only belong to you best friend, blair. you prepared yourself to receive one of her bone-crushing hugs.

“there you are! i sent you like a million messages!”

“everything okay?” you asked before pulling away.

“yeah, i just have a little proposal.”

you narrowed your eyes at her, “what are you scheming?”

“you see, my gorgeous boyfriend is throwing this massive party on friday—”

“immediately no.”

“oh, c’mon!” she grumbled. “it’s been like five months since the last time we went out together. i miss my drunk little partner,” she pouted, pinching your cheek.

you let out a laugh, softly pushing away her hand out of your face. “i’m not exactly in a party mood, blair. i’m sorry.”

you made a poor attempt to avoid eye contact, but the weight of her stare was a difficult one to ignore. you looked back at her, already defeated.

“it’s nothing serious, but i’ve just been feeling a little insecure. and i’m okay,” you were quick to clarify, “i just want to stay in my dorm and watch a movie or something. it’s only temporary, i’ll feel better soon. you know i always do,” you opened the door and waited for her to inside first.

“how many times do i have to tell you you’re gorgeous for you to believe me? look at you!”

“blair—”

“i’m serious.”

“i know you are. thank you,” you replied softly. “forget about it, let’s just go inside. i’m tired and i wanna sleep.”

your friend had a worried look on her face, but decided to drop the subject, “still no roommate?”

“nope,” you grinned, closing the door behind you. “i’d invite you to live with me but you’re too busy staying at your boyfriend’s,” you teased her.

“can you blame me? his apartment is the size of a million of these dorms combined,” she exaggerated. “besides, he’s the sweetest man to ever exist. he’s every girl’s dream.” she sighed dreamily as she threw herself on the unoccupied bed. you raised your eyebrows at her, to which she rolled her eyes. “if he were a girl you’d be after him, too.”

after your friend bragged about her boyfriend for a few more minutes, both of you ended up falling asleep, totally drained from your long, boring classes. you woke up two hours later thanks to blair’s boyfriend who called her wondering where she was.

“wanna go grab some coffee? he’s paying!” blair offered with a big smile, which you returned.

“maybe he is every girl’s dream after all.”

you and blair headed outside shortly after, gossiping about people you didn’t even know. suddenly, your sleepy eyes spotted something strange on the door, more specifically, on the whiteboard you had outside. someone had left an anonymous message on it.

the prettiest girl on campus (and of everywhere else too) i wish i could come up with the courage to talk to you. guess i’ll just admire you from afar

ps: not in a creepy way

ps2: seriously sorry if this is creepy

you stared blankly at the message, reading it over and over again.

“did you do this?”

“hold on, i’m looking for that one tweet i saw. i’m telling you, she’s cheating on him—”

“blair!”

she finally looked up from her phone, “what?”

“did you do this?” you pointed at the board.

her expression comically changed from confusion to extreme excitement, eyes widened and mouth hung open. an over exaggerated gasp left her lips before she grabbed you by the shoulders.

“oh my god! you have a secret admirer!”

“no, i don’t. that’s probably not for me. someone must’ve mistaken my dorm for somebody else’s.”

“your name is literally on that board. besides, you are the prettiest girl to ever exist, so, i’m pretty sure they’re not mistaken.” blair kept looking at the note, meticulously analyzing it. “let’s pray it’s not a man who wrote this. imagine if he confesses his feelings for you in person. he’d be in for a very awkward rejection.”

you tried to downplay the situation by telling blair it was probably just a joke, but on the inside you couldn’t stop wondering who did it. as you walked down the hallway, you discreetly checked the whiteboards from the other dorms. all they had were random doodles and people’s names, nothing else.

tuesday

you were currently sitting under a big tree, admiring the sunset. birds chirped softly at the distance, adding even more magic to the beautiful scenery in front of you, but even the peaceful atmosphere that surrounded you wasn’t enough to calm your racing mind.

the anonymous note was certainly the most interesting thing that had happened to you in a while, but you were a serial overthinker. besides making you feel extremely curious about the identity of the person who wrote it, it had also made you spiral about the way you acted towards strangers.

being content with your small circle, you never put any effort in starting conversations with someone you didn’t already know. you felt as if you didn’t need anyone else in your life, but was that a mistake? what if the mystery person tried talking to you but you acted uninterested? what if they attempted to make eye contact but you were too busy staring down?

the most important question spinning around your head was how many special bonds had you lost simply because of your behavior?

as your silent crisis continued, the sun began to disappear on the horizon until it was fully dark. your eyes quickly found the moon, with the sky being clear, you could see her perfectly.

you took out your phone to take some pictures of the satellite, as well as everything else around you. the trees, your coffee cup, an empty bench and an orange cat that was laying next to it.

just as you were taking photos of the cute animal, someone crouched down next to him to pet him. that was the moment you saw her. a girl you had never seen before, but who managed to catch your attention right away. she was simply beautiful. many people, places, art pieces and more had been described with that adjective, but in your mind, that unknown girl was the first being in history to be worthy of it. you were completely mesmerized.

you put down your phone and watched the sweet moment develop in front of you. you could tell she was speaking to the cat, who seemed to really enjoy her company. the girl got up after a few minutes, giving the cat one last scratch between his ears before leaving. a frown instantly appeared on her face the moment she looked away from the animal, making you chuckle. she looked absolutely intimidating, the total opposite of what you had just witnessed.

your eyes followed her until she disappeared from your sight, but her image stayed on your mind for the rest of the day.

wednesday

you were having one of those days when everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. you had slept through your alarm, didn’t have time to have breakfast, couldn’t find your books and forgot your jacket on your way out. one may think it couldn’t get worse, well, unfortunately, it could.

you felt your soul escape your body when the, feared by many, physics professor laid his demonic eyes on you. you were certain you looked insane; hair a total mess, completely out of breath and slightly shaking from your nervousness.

“class started ten minutes ago,” his strident voice echoed in the big classroom. you didn’t even need to look to know everyone’s eyes were on you.

“i know,” your voice pathetically quivered. “sorry.”

“for your information, if you have somewhere to be you wake early enough to make it on time. it’s not rocket science, all of your classmates did it.” when he got no reply from you, he sighed. “there’s only one more seat available at the back. lucky for you, you’ll be sitting next to one of my best students. maybe you could be friends, she could teach you how to get here on time.”

with your eyes glued to the floor, you walked straight to where the professor pointed to without making a sound. you tried your best to ignore your classmates’ stares, but they lacked discretion.

fortunately for you, a nice surprised awaited you. the student the professor mentioned was none other than the girl you had seen the day before. she was even more beautiful up-close, which wasn’t exactly a good thing. she had just witnessed your most embarrassing moment. still, her eyes radiated kindness.

“this guy’s an idiot. you were only a few minutes late and didn’t even miss much. he was just struggling to turn on the projector the whole time,” the girl whispered at you once you sat down.

you were ready to reply with just a ‘yeah’, but the crisis you had the day before stopped you.

“he’s the worst,” you replied instead. “i always feel on the verge of puking whenever he looks at me,” the regret you felt after saying that was immediate, fearing it was too much information.

you felt yourself relax at the sound of her laugh, and of course it had to be the most heavenly sound you had ever heard.

“i’m ellie williams,” she leaned in, reaching over for your hand. you introduced yourself as your brain started mindlessly picking up details about her, like the fact that she had many freckles scattered all over her face.

you held her gaze for a few seconds before looking back at the professor, who had begun talking about punctuality. he sent you multiple looks during his whole speech, you found it hilarious. he looked like as if his eyes were about to pop out of his sockets.

trying to act as normal as possible, you grabbed your water bottle and took a sip in an attempt to calm down. you realized that was a huge mistake once you glanced at ellie, who was trying her hardest to hold in her laugh. you almost spit out your water when she made eye contact with you, causing you to choke.

“shit, you alright?” she leaned in, now fully laughing, and patted your back.

“yes— yeah,” you managed to say in between your coughing and laughing. you looked around, noticing how quiet the classroom had gotten. yours’ and ellie’s voices were the only thing cutting through the deadly silence. “sorry, i choked on water— sorry,” you apologized to the professor, who was impatiently tapping his foot on the floor.

“may i continue, ladies? is that okay with you two or should i wait for you to be done?” neither of you answered, so he let out one of his classic sighs. “as i was saying…”

the moment he looked away, you covered your face with your hands, trying to muffle the giggles that were escaping your lips. ellie was in the same state as you, which only made things worse.

“if he didn’t hate me before, he sure does now,” you whispered, eyes sparkling with amusement. “why does he have to be such a dick? it’s not like a choked on purpose. i could’ve died,” you dramatized.

actually, it’d be very rare to die from choking on a liquid, ellie almost said, but she didn’t want you to think she was a smart-ass. instead, she just kept laughing.

silence grew between the two of you as you came back to your notes and tried to pay attention to the class. ellie’s eyes inevitably fell on you again, trying to come up with something to say to keep the conversation going.

“you know, i, personally, wouldn’t take advice from a person like him, but i think he’s right about us being friends.”

“yeah, i think he is,” you warmly smiled before looking down at your notes again, unable to hold her gaze.

having fun in physics class seemed impossible at the beginning of the semester, but it had actually happened. you and ellie talked the whole time, which made the minutes go by faster than expected and also annoyed everyone around you.

“see you next wednesday? try to be on time, though. i don’t want him to kill you in front of the whole class.”

you laughed at ellie’s words and nodded, “see you next week.”

i really hope it’s sooner than that, the thought appeared in your mind without warning. you watched ellie go, a shy smile appeared on your lips when she glanced back at you and caught you staring.

the rest of the morning felt boring and uneventful in comparison to physics class, so you were really excited to finally be back at your dorm. your tired eyes fell on the whiteboard, no message from the mystery person. you tried to ignore how weirdly disappointed you felt and went inside, telling yourself it had been, probably, a one time thing.

thursday

shyness had never been a problem for you but, still, socializing wasn’t really your thing. if there was a chance for you to avoid interaction with strangers, you took it, so it was certainly weird seeing ellie at the dining hall and feeling an intense need to say hi. good thing she wasn’t exactly a stranger, right?

she was sitting alone in one of the most secluded tables, eyes focused on her phone. without giving it much thought, you walked towards her, but you began second guessing your decision once you realized she probably wanted to be alone. your steps became more hesitant the closer you got to her and just as you were about to turn around and leave she looked up. her surprised expression quickly changed into a delighted one.

“hey,” she greeted as she took off her headphones.

“hi,” you smiled back as a feeling of panic started setting in. you had absolutely no idea of what to say to her.

“you can sit if you’d like,” she offered, gesturing to the seat in front of her.

“you’re not busy? i can leave if you alone if—”

“no way,” ellie shook her head and, with her foot, pushed the chair towards you before looking up at you. “c’mon, sit.”

the moment you sat down, she leaned forward. you, instinctively, leaned back, but kept your hands just a few inches away from hers. you bit the inside of your cheek, trying your hardest to hold her gaze.

“so, how you’ve been? had any nightmares about our beloved professor yelling at you?” ellie asked, amused. you internally thanked her for starting the conversation.

“i can see his spit flying at me in slow motion whenever i close my eyes,” you replied, making ellie laugh. “that was definitely the last time i’m late to class. i hate attention, if i have to go through something like that again i’ll just die on the spot.”

ellie’s smile hadn’t faded since the moment she saw you, “just try not to be late to any of his classes, he’s the only one who gives you shit for that,” she adviced. “i knew he was insane because i’ve heard about it, so i tried to get on his good side by always being early. i considered sitting at the front, too, but that was too much.”

“you always sit at the back?”

“yeah, i don’t like having people behind me. for some reason, it really freaks me out knowing someone is staring at the back of my head.”

you hummed in response, mind deep in thought. you never looked at the back when you entered the classroom, in fact, you kept your head down, but ellie had always been there.

how many special bonds had you lost simply because of your behavior?

“hey, my friend’s boyfriend is throwing a party this friday, i was wondering if you’d like to go.”

“cool, yeah, of course,” ellie quickly replied.

“yeah?” you beamed, biting down your bottom lip.

“yes,” she nodded, the corners of her mouth quirking up again, “can i bring a friend?”

“sure,” you smiled. you took out a pen and a post-it from your backpack and wrote the address before sticking it on her hand. your eyes wandered further and ended up on her watch. without a second thought, you grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to you, tilting your head to see the time. “shit, i gotta go to class, but i’ll see you friday?”

“see you then,” ellie said, but she didn’t want you to leave, and you didn’t want to go either. she hesitated before calling your name, making you turn around. “can i walk you to class?”

the question lingered in the air as you processed it. it had caught you completely off guard, which ellie could tell just by seeing your expression. fearing she messed up, time began moving slower and slower to her until you finally accepted her offer with a huge grin on your face.

ellie released the air stuck in her lungs before catching up with you. anyone with a pair of working eyes could see how nervous the two of you were, except yourselves. you were too busy focused on not to embarrass yourself by tripping and ellie was trying to regulate her breathing. neither of you dared to talk because it would make it too obvious, but ellie finally broke the silence once you stepped outside, asking you what class you had.

you had always hated small talk because you feared there’d be a point in which you wouldn’t know what else to say, but that moment never came with ellie. the conversation flowed smoothly between smiles and chuckles from the both of you.

“oh, look!” she suddenly said, casually grabbing you by your shoulder as if she had done it a thousand times before. you followed her line of sight and gasped when your eyes spotted a familiar orange cat. it was the same one you had seen ellie pet when you didn’t even know her yet. “wanna go say hi?”

“how is that even a question?”

ellie was the first one to approach him, crouching down in front of him. you copied her action a second later, already eager to pet him.

“his name is orange. original, right?” ellie sarcastically asked, gaining a laugh from you. “i didn’t name him, by the way. he has a tag with his name.”

“hi, little guy,” you pouted, scratching the back of his head.

“he must live nearby because he’s always here,” ellie told you. “he’s missing an eye, but he’s still cute, right?” she glanced over her shoulder.

you two were close. closer than a simple girl like ellie could handle. your perfume was all that she could smell, you were the only thing she could look at and her own heartbeat was the only sound she could hear.

“he’s the cutest,” you chuckled.

you stayed there for a couple more minutes. ellie told you about the first time she saw orange and you told her about the pets you had back home. it was such a sweet conversation, both of you using soft voices to not scare the cat away.

“alright, let’s go. i don’t want you being late to another class,” ellie told you as she stood up. “see you later, dude,” she waved at orange. surprisingly, the cat meowed back. “we’re best friends,” ellie jokingly bragged as both of you began to walk again.

“do you think he’ll accept me as a friend, too?”

“oh, absolutely. he loves you already.”

you ended up getting to class just in time, but you wouldn’t have cared if you were late. if it were for you, you would’ve skipped it just to keep hanging out with ellie.

“see you tomorrow, then?” you asked, hopeful.

“see you tomorrow,” ellie confirmed as she took a few steps back in your opposite direction, her eyes never leaving you until she fully turned around.

friday

it had been a while since you’d last chosen an outfit with someone in mind, wondering if they would like it. it took a while, but you finally settled on one. it was neatly laying on top of your bed.

“she’ll totally fall in love when she sees you in that,” blair’s voice cut through the silence, startling you.

“i’ve no idea who you’re talking about,” you obviously lied.

“maybe the girl you’ve been talking to me about since you met her?” blair guessed, “or is it the mysterious person who left you that note on monday?”

“it’s not weird that i still think about who could it be, is it?”

even if you had many other things to think about, the identity of the secret admirer, as blair had called them, was something that you were still curious about. it was difficult not to overthink every interaction you had with strangers, especially those who you’d catch staring or were friendlier than normal with you.

“are you kidding? if i were you, i would’ve asked every single person on campus if they knew anything about it,” she sat down on your bed, next to where your clothes were and handed them to you with a wink. “both ellie and the secret admirer will die when they see you tonight.”

a pathetic giggle escaped your lips on the way to the bathroom. you quickly changed into your chosen outfit, a rare feeling of exciment growing on inside you.

once you arrived at the party, you wasted no time and started looking for ellie. there were many familiar faces in the already drunken crowd, some of them even waved at you, but you didn’t even notice. between the lights and the loud music, you could barely pay attention to your own thoughts.

“what was she like again?” blair asked you, trying to help you find her.

“hot,” you replied, still scanning the room.

“right, thanks. that really helps.”

you laughed, “she’s—” your description was cut short when you suddenly locked eyes with her across the room. there was someone by her side, a girl who looked familiar but you couldn’t pinpoint where you knew her from. “she’s here.”

ellie leaned into her friend’s ear to say something, but her eyes never left yours. you tried to remain calm as you watched her walk towards you, looking annoyingly attractive.

“hey, there you are,” she greeted once she was close enough for you to hear her.

“hi! you came,” you beamed. “this is blair, my best friend. blair, this is ellie.”

“it’s really nice to meet you,” ellie shot a quick glance at your friend before glueing her eyes on you again.

knowing that that was her cue to leave, blair gave you a squeeze on your arm, “if you’ll excuse me, i have to go find my boyfriend. enjoy the party,” she wiggled her eyebrows at you before disappearing into the crowd.

“shouldn’t you call your friend over?” it was a genuine question, not wanting ellie to ditch the person she was with for you, but you also needed to know if she was really just a friend.

ellie looked over her shoulder and let out a chuckle, “i think she’s pretty busy.”

confused, you looked behind her. all of your doubts were cleared once you spotted her, she was making out with some girl.

she was definitely just a friend.

“oh,” you let out a short laugh. “good for her.”

ellie nodded at your words before looking back at you again. you were still distracted by the show ellie’s friend was giving and were completely oblivious to the spell you had put her under.

“you look really good,” she blurted out.

you broke into a sweet smile at the sudden compliment, “oh, thank you. you do too. really, really good.”

the fluttering of your heart made you want to burst into giggles, feeling extremely giddy. it was obvious how flustered you were, but seeing ellie in the same state as you made you feel slightly better. you would’ve never guess she’d be the type of person who blushes.

“wanna go for something to drink?”

you nodded at her question before reaching for her hand with the excuse of not losing each other on the way to the kitchen. ellie’s fingers quickly intertwined with yours as you started to lead the way. you offered many apologizes to the people who you accidentally bumped into, the place was absolutely packed and it was difficult to move. the kitchen was no different, you had barely any place to walk.

you grabbed two beer bottles and handed one to ellie, who looked a bit flushed from the previous interaction.

“next time someone doesn’t move after i say ‘excuse me’ i’ll just hit them on their ribs,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “where did they put the bottle opener?” you muttered to yourself, but ellie seemed to have heard you.

“here, let me help.”

you passed her the bottle and watched as she opened it against the table, taking the top off immediately.

“impressive,” you praised her before taking a sip. you grimaced at the taste.

ellie leaned back on the kitchen island, keeping her eyes on you. there was an amused smirk on her lips, “you don’t like it?”

“not really. i mean, it’s not like i hate it, but i only drink beer when there’s no other option,” you shrugged your shoulders. “i think there’s more to drink over there but there’s too many people and i don’t feel like getting trapped between sweaty drunk dudes.”

ellie swept her gaze over the kitchen before walking towards one of the many cabinets. “there’s gotta be something else in here,” she said as she opened every single door. “there it is!” ellie turned around and your eyes fell to her hands, she was holding a bottle of vodka. it was almost empty. “shots, anyone?” she offered.

a guy who was at the kitchen cheered, “hell yeah!”

ellie frowned, disgusted. “not you. go get your own bottle.”

a laugh escaped your lips at how disappointed the guy seemed to be, he immediately left after ellie’s words. “that was kind of mean,” you chuckled lightly.

ellie couldn’t tell you that she actually blew him off because of how shamelessly he checked you out the moment you entered the kitchen, so she just shrugged her shoulders. “he didn’t find it. open up,” she commanded you, placing a hand on your chin. you opened your mouth and felt how ellie poured the liquid down your throat.

“gross,” you wrinkled your nose. you grabbed the bottle from her hands and copied her action, softly grabbing her by her chin. she drank what was left of the vodka and you left the bottle on the counter behind her.

ellie smiled at you as she swiped her fingers across the corner of her lips. she gave you one last glance before walking past you. you watched her open more drawers and cabinets.

“psst, come here,” she called you over.

“what did you find?”

ellie looked around to check no one else was listening. you laughed at how secretive she was being. “look,” she whispered, she had found a box of chocolate covered strawberries. “shall we?” she offered, eyebrows up.

“absolutely,” you accepted, laughing. “but not here. let’s go to the balcony. it’s closed but i know where they keep the keys.”

ellie pushed herself off the table she was laying on and grabbed your hand, “i’ll lead this time, i know where it is.”

you stared down at your hands, blindly trusting her to guide you.

“how do you know where it is?”

“well, i kind of looked everywhere for you when i got here,” she admitted. “thought you stood me up.”

“sorry, i took forever to get ready,” you apologized, embarrassed.

“don’t worry, it was totally worth it,” ellie shot a quick glance at you as she said that, knowing it would mess you up. her personality changed from shy to flirty in a matter of seconds, so you didn’t really know what to expect of her.

you let out a sigh of relief once you were on the balcony, grateful for how muffled the people and music sounded from outside. “i remember why i haven’t gone out in months now,” you rolled your eyes.

“not a party girl, huh?” ellie let out a chuckle, leaning against the wall. she offered you a strawberry, which you gladly took.

“not lately,” you replied after taking a bite.

“so what made you go out tonight?”

you shrugged, “it was an impulse,” your answer was honest, but it was missing the rest of it.

because i wanted to see you again.

“it really helps you’re here, though,” you clarified. “actually, it doesn’t only help, you’re the only reason i’m enjoying this.”

“same here,” she smiled at you before looking up at the sky, she got lost in her thoughts for a moment before speaking up again. “it sucks that city lights don’t let us see the stars properly.”

you scoffed at her words, “i know, but hey, at least we have the moon,” you pointed at the satellite. “she never disappoints.”

there had been a few times were you felt as if the universe was on your side, somehow listening to you. that night was the moment you confirmed your theory because, coincidentally enough, the lights went off in what it seemed to be the entire city. a collective scream was heard from inside the apartment, along with multiple curses.

you took out your phone and turned on your flashlight, accidentally pointing it at ellie’s eyes.

“ow!” she let out, squinting her eyes. you couldn’t help but laugh, to which she complained.

“sorry, didn’t mean to blind you. especially now,” your excitement was enough to spark ellie’s curiosity.

“what do you mean?”

“come with me,” you grabbed her hand for the third time that day, knowing you’d miss doing that when the night came to an end. you still hadn’t gotten used to the weird, almost electric feeling that tingled in your palm whenever you touched her.

you guided her through the disappointed multitude, letting out apologies every now and then and also pushing those who didn’t move after you politely asked. you couldn’t blame them, though, they had used the darkness to their advantage and were shamelessly making out.

the air was ten times colder on the terrace than it was on the balcony, but neither of you cared because once you looked up you forgot about everything else. well, except maybe each other.

the view was completely breathtaking. without the light pollution, the sky looked straight out of a painting.

“it’s like looking straight at space,” you whispered, eyes sparkling with excitement. you had only seen the stars like that once in your life when you were a kid. it was as magical as you remembered, and the person you were sharing the moment with only made everything more special.

“i know,” ellie gazed at you before looking up again. “it blows my mind.”

as the night went on, you talked about many different things whilst laying on the floor; how your lives back home were, your friends, your families, favorite movies and songs and of course, with both of you being astronomy students, space-related stuff. you two were interested in each other’s point of view about everything, so you discussed many different subjects, enjoying the freedom to be incredibly nerdy about it.

“our lifespan is way too short. i mean, think about it. look at how many things have changed and advanced in only a hundred years. can you imagine how the world will change in, like, a thousand years?”

“maybe in fifty more years scientists will discover the key to immortality and we’ll be able to see everything,” ellie shrugged her shoulders. “or we could try to discover it ourselves once we graduate.”

you let out a laugh, “such an easy thing to do,” you sarcastically said. “i’m in, but maybe we could try with something easier, like, finding extraterrestrial forms of life, perhaps?”

“apparently, they are already here,” ellie pointed out.

you turned your head at her, “we’ll be the first to make friends with them, then. we’re pretty nice people, they’ll warm up to us.”

“deal,” she smiled at you, inevitably glancing at your lips for a second due to the proximity.

you kept enjoying each other’s company. there were moments in which neither of you spoke but, surprisingly enough, you didn’t care. even silence was fun with her.

neither of you had experienced a connection as strong as the one you had, especially in such a short amount of time. you didn’t question it, thought, it just made sense.

after a while, the power came back. the city was illuminated and the music from the party was back on. you two sat up, a little saddened that you couldn’t stargaze anymore.

“it was fun while it lasted,” you commented, ready to return to the apartment. you picked up the beer bottles from the floor, along with the empty box of chocolate strawberries.

“we can always go camping,” ellie suggested. “the sky will look even better than tonight.”

“i have zero survival skills, so you’d be in charge of everything. i can interest you with some random facts, though.”

“sounds good,” she laughed as she stood by the door and opened it, waiting for you to go inside first. the walk to the apartment was quiet, hating the fact the that night was coming to an end.

the loud music welcomed you again, people were even crazier after having to wait half an hour for the power to come back. it surprised you to see the same amount of people, apparently, none of them had left.

“i know it’s a friday night but, how the fuck has your friend managed to not get kicked out yet?” ellie leaned into your ear.

“this building is mostly occupied by other students, so they are probably at the party, too,” you explained, raising your voice a little so she could hear you.

everyone was euphorically dancing, making up for the lost time. you glanced at ellie before grabbing her hand and dragging her to the improvised dance floor. she instantly followed you, completely mesmerized.

“oh my god, there you are! i thought i was imagining things when i saw you earlier,” a familiar voice said from behind you. it was tara, you shared some classes and had been partners in a project once. “you look so good.”

“oh, hey, tara. this ell—”

“yeah, hi,” she interrupted you, only glancing at ellie for half a second. “could you walk me to the bathroom? i– i don’t know where it is and i feel pretty sick.”

your eyes flickered between the two girls. you obviously wanted to stay with ellie, but tara had put you in a really awkward position.

“uh…” you hesitated, “where are your friends?”

“they already left,” she frowned. “c’mon, babe, come with me? please.”

the nickname she used echoed in ellie’s mind.

“i can’t, i—”

“you should go. i should check on my friend, so…” ellie’s lips were in a straight line, but she forced a smile when you looked at her.

“why don’t you come with us?”

ellie would’ve agreed if she hadn’t seen the nasty look tara had given her. she wasn’t intimidated by her in the slightest, but the thought of being a burden and indirectly forcing you not to leave her alone was enough to let you go, even if she didn’t want to.

“no, really. i need to go see if she’s okay. i’ll find you later.”

you didn’t have time to respond, because you had already been dragged away from there. tara started chatting your ear off about stuff you didn’t care, you could only think about ellie.

“do you want me to call you an uber or something?” you asked her.

“why would i wanna leave?”

“you said you were sick and you’re pretty drunk, you should go home.”

“oh, no, silly. i live in this building, maybe you could walk me to my apartment?”

you refrained from rolling your eyes in front of her and realized that the sooner you got rid of her, the sooner you could go back to the girl you actually wanted to be with.

“c’mon, let’s go,” you said. on the way out you messaged blair to find ellie and tell her you’d be right back, to which she answered she was on it.

you took the elevator to her floor. you could tell tara wanted you to initiate a conversation by the way she was looking at you, but you couldn’t care less about her. she hadn’t noticed, apparently, because she started talking about god knows what as you walked behind her, completely zoned out.

“wanna come in?” she asked you once you were outside her apartment. her intentions were crystal clear but, as flattered as you were, you couldn’t help but feel completely uncomfortable.

“uh, no, thanks,” you awkwardly said.

“you sure? i’ve got—”

“yes, tara, i’m sure. i gotta go, i’m sorry. you’ll be okay, though, right? see you around,” you took a step back with each word you said, by the end of the sentence you were in front of the elevator. you heard tara let out a very confused ‘bye’ before the doors closed.

you impatiently tapped your foot against the floor, wondering why was the elevator taking so long. once you were back at the party you immediately searched for ellie, but she was nowhere to be found. instead, you saw blair, who had a worried look on her face.

“hey,” you approached her. “did you talk to ellie?”

“i couldn’t. i saw her leave with that girl she was with like a minute after you texted me,” she grimaced. “what happened? why were you with tara?”

you sighed, “i’m so stupid,” you groaned. “tara found me and she put me in this really difficult spot, so i had to walk her to her apartment because she was pretty fucking drunk and feeling very sick, or at least that’s what she told me, and i did it as fast as i could, but—”

“okay, okay. stop. why don’t you text ellie and—”

“i don’t have her number.”

“try instagram?”

“i tried finding her on instagram the same day i met her and i couldn’t,” you awkwardly confessed. “she probably thinks i blew her off for stupid tara.”

“hey, calm down. i’m sure you’ll see her soon.”

sadly, that soon never came. saturday, sunday, monday and tuesday went by painfully slow. there was no sight of ellie.

wednesday

you were a hopeless romantic, even if you didn’t admit it out loud. deep down, you knew that meeting ellie wasn’t a coincidence. it could’ve happened at any given moment due to being classmates, but it did when you needed it the most.

it was unexpected, but as said before, you felt as if sometimes the universe was on your side, listening to your deepest desires, the ones you didn’t know needed to be fulfilled.

you had never felt a connection as genuine as the one you had with her. everything seemed easy with her, making you feel you’d known her for longer than a week.

that doesn’t happen often, especially to you, so you would do anything in your power to fix things.

you were currently in physics class, counting down the minutes for it to end. you had to fight the urge to look at the back to see if ellie was there.

the thought of her being mad at you for practically abandoning at the party you invited her to made you sick. you also feared she didn’t care at all, which was a hundred times worse.

once the class ended you waited for her outside, trying to calm down your racing heart. the majority of students had already come out. you had just started to lose hope of seeing her when you finally heard her voice. she was saying goodbye to the professor.

“hi,” you nervously smiled when she was in front of you. her looking as good as always didn’t help you calm down at all. “i’ve been hoping to see you since friday. i wanted to apologize—”

“oh, you don’t have to do that. i get it. i saw you leave with that girl, tara, was it? it’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything—”

“no, no. i didn’t leave with her,” you clarified. “she wasn’t feeling good so she asked me to walk her to her apartment, which was in that same building, and i only did it to get rid of her. i know i sound like a major dick, but i wanted to go back to you as soon as possible,” you confessed, heart beating a hundred miles per minute.

“you did?” there was a smile hiding on her lips, you could tell by the tone she used. she was amused and obviously enjoyed seeing you flustered.

“yes, and i told blair to find you and tell you that i’d be right back, but when i did you had already left and i had no way of communicating with you, so…” ellie was quiet, so you continued. “i’m sorry.“

it felt like an eternity until she spoke again. “i’m sorry i left.”

“it’s not your fault,“ you mused. “it’s tara’s.”

“it so is,” ellie let out a chuckle. “i’ll fuck her up.”

you laughed, which made ellie’s stomach flip. both of you became numb to your surroundings as you stared into each other’s eyes, dumb smiles plastered on your faces.

“hey, about that paper that we have to do on electromagnetism. would you, maybe, uh, want to do it with me?”

“yes, i’d love to,” you grinned. “we could meet at the library tomorrow. do you have any classes in the morning?”

“just one, it ends at 10.”

“see you at 11?”

“yeah,” ellie nodded.

“oh, i almost forgot,” you said before taking out your phone. ellie curiously watched you type something before you handed it to her.

an adorable smile formed on her lips when she saw you were asking for her number. you had already typed in her name with the alien emoji next to it.

“thank you,” you mused when she gave your phone back to you. you instantly sent her a text so she could save your number on hers, too.

“see you tomorrow :)”

ellie looked up from her phone, mouth upturned. “see you then.”

tuesday

“the library’s closed,” ellie announced the moment she saw you.

the lights were turned off and there was a sign on the door that read ‘closed for reparations’.

“awh, man,” you complained. “why didn’t they tell us sooner—”

“actually, they did. i just checked and they sent us an email about a week ago, we just don’t check our inbox,” ellie interrupted you, grimacing.

“oh, our fault then,” you shrugged your shoulders. “um, maybe we could go to my dorm? i don’t have a roommate so nobody will bother us,” you offered.

“woah, i’d give everything to have my dorm all to myself,” she groaned, tilting her head back. “why don’t you have a roommate?”

you didn’t realize you had already started walking together, mindlessly leading the way to your dorm.

“i had one at the beginning of the semester, but then she dropped out or something. they told me i’ll probably get one next semester, so i’m enjoying it while it lasts,” you explained.

ellie huffed, “my roommate is a music producer. she’s pretty considerate but sometimes she has to listen to her songs without headphones,” she rolled her eyes. “i think i’m gonna find a job and move out to an apartment.”

“you totally should. i’d do it too if i were capable of balancing work and college,” you told her. “you’re welcome to stay at mine’s for as long as you want and whenever you want, by the way.”

“really?” she grinned. “you’re already asking me to live together? i haven’t even met your parents, yet.”

you rolled your eyes, a playful smile growing on your lips, “fine, my offer is off the table, then.”

“oh, no. now it’s too late. i’m moving in tomorrow morning.”

ellie spent the entire walk planning an itinerary for when she moved in with you, which basically consisted in eating breakfast together, go to class, come back and have lunch together, have more classes, come back and have dinner together then have a sleepover every night.

“sounds fun, huh?”

“super fun,” you chuckled as you opened the door for her. “guests first,” you stepped aside, inviting her in.

“hey, this is practically my dorm, too, now,” ellie joked, curiously looking around as she scratched the back of her neck. she was trying her hardest not to show how nervous she actually was, but the fluttering on her stomach made it really hard.

you were in the same state as her, trying not to freak out. your eyes discreetly checked every corner of the room, making sure everything was in order and there was nothing embarrassing laying around.

ellie chuckled to herself when she noticed the ceiling was decorated with a bunch of stickers that glowed in the dark. stars and planets were placed all over.

“i know they’re childish,” you wrinkled your nose, visibly cringing.

“are you kidding? i love them. these will be the first thing i’ll buy for my new place,” her gaze fell from the ceiling to your eyes, a genuine smile spreading across her lips.

ellie kept looking around your dorm, grabbing stuff that caught her attention. it was funny seeing her ask for permission each time, looking back at you and pointing at the object she wanted to check out.

you took out your laptop from your backpack and sat down on your bed. it immediately bummed you out when you remembered that you had to do an assignment and weren’t just hanging out for fun.

“i’m gonna create a google drive file so we can both edit it later in case we don’t finish it today,” you informed her.

“yeah, that’s a good idea,” ellie replied, focused on a bracelet she had found on your desk. then, she continued snooping around your things, sometimes mumbling cool and i’m going to borrow this.

you checked the questions you had to answer and immediately sighed, “i’m completely lost.”

“want me to explain it to you?” she offered and you obviously accepted. ellie looked at the big whiteboard behind her and grabbed a marker from your desk. “okay, so you know that the earth’s core is mainly composed of liquid in the outer core and solid iron in the inner core?”

you tried your hardest to keep your attention on what she was saying, but the task turned impossible. her voice sounded muffled and you could only focus on how good she looked. you let out a few yeahs and rights when you thought it was appropriate, but the truth was that you didn’t know what the hell she was talking about.

“and this field has existed for at least three billions years, which is nuts, right?” you ears managed to make out of all the things she was saying. you saw how she laughed, clearly enjoying talking about the subject. you probably would too if you could be capable of actually listen and process what she was saying.

you watched as she continued to write and draw stuff on the board at the same time she explained something to you, but you couldn’t keep your eyes off of her.

“that’s about it, got it?” she asked, turning around.

“uh…” you let out, not being capable of forming an actual sentence.

ellie chuckled, amused, “you alright?”

“yes, it’s just—”

“was there something you didn’t understand? i can go over it again,” ellie kindly offered, but you could hardly hear her over the loud beating of your heart.

you weren’t really planning to, but you stood up. it was as if you were on autopilot, there was something else controlling your body and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. you walked closer to ellie, who looked confused.

“if i’m being honest, i didn’t listen to a word you said,” you confessed, smiling guiltily. “i swear i tried to, but there was something else on my mind.”

“what’s that?” ellie asked in a whisper, eyes scanning your face. you were extremely close to her.

“i don’t think i can go another minute without kissing you,” you softly confessed, looking up into her eyes. her pupils were dilated and a light blush had started to color her cheeks.

“no one is stopping you,” she replied, wholly captivated by you.

not even a second later, you crashed your lips into hers. ellie joyfully giggled, but that didn’t stop her from hungrily kissing you back. her hands found their way up to the sides of your face while yours ended up tangled in her hair.

ellie broke the kiss first, but your lips were still touching. “i’m still deeply disappointed you didn’t listen to my physics lesson.”

“i’m sorry,” you chuckled. “i heard some parts, you were great. i learned a lot.”

ellie smiled before leaning in again, bringing you impossibly closer to her as she gave you a breathtaking kiss. you melted against her, already eager for the kiss to end just so you could do it over and over again.

“this would’ve happened sooner if it weren’t for tara,” ellie joked, reaching over to grab your hand.

“i’ll kill her next time i see her,” you were standing so close to each other that you replied with a whisper.

ellie frowned, “you’re not seeing her again.”

“oh? i would’ve never guessed you were the jealous type,” you teased her, placing your arms on her shoulders again and bringing her even closer to you. ellie looked even better than before. her lips were reddened, her hair was a mess and her eyes had become even more hypnotic.

you could’ve stayed admiring her for hours, but a glance over her shoulder was all it took for you to wake up from your trance. you walked past her to take a closer look at the whiteboard she had used. it wasn’t what she had written that caught your attention, but the handwriting itself. it looked incredibly familiar.

your mind quickly came up with a crazy theory, which ellie’s expression confirmed the moment you looked back at her.

“you were the one who left me that note on my door?”

ellie’s confident and teasing demeanor was long gone. she looked panicked. her heartbeat accelerated significantly and she felt as she was running out of air.

“oh my god,” your mouth fell agape, a smile creeping up on your lips. “you did!”

she covered her face with her hands, letting out a groan, “you weren’t supposed to know that.”

“why?”

“it’s embarrassing! we didn’t even know each other when i did it. it’s weird—”

“it’s sweet!”

“it’s weird,” she repeated, not being able to look at you.

you smiled fondly at her, reaching for her hand and giving her a squeeze, “it really helped me, you know? it was as if you knew i needed it.”

ellie grimaced, “well, i actually kind of did…”

“what do you mean?”

she sat down on your bed, making you sit next to her. you didn’t let go of her hand. instead, you played with her fingers in an attempt to calm her down.

“i visited my friend that day, her dorm is across the hall. i was just about to leave when i saw you coming. i panicked, so i hid and accidentally overheard what you were saying to your friend,” she admitted. “i meant what i wrote. i’ve thought that way about you ever since i first saw you. it seemed like the perfect moment to tell you, at least indirectly.”

“but why didn’t you tell me in person? or at least, talked to me sooner.”

“i’m not as brave as i look and you’re fucking intimidating.”

you let out a laugh in disbelief, “me, intimidating? look at you!”

“no, look at you. you’re way to beautiful for me to just come up to you and tell you that. who could have the guts?”

“oh my god, shut up,” you hid your face in your hands, feeling how your heart fluttered like crazy at her words.

“i couldn’t tell you after we began talking, either. we were just getting to know each other, it would’ve been weird,” ellie stared down at your intertwined hands. “it’s still kind of weird,” she mumbled more to herself than for you to hear.

not being able to take it anymore, you succumbed to the urge of throwing yourself at her, leaving many kisses all over her face. the sound of her laugh made the butterflies in your stomach to fly all over the place.

“you’re the sweetest girl i’ve ever met.”

“don’t say that about me. i have a reputation to maintain,” she jokingly rolled her eyes. “so, be honest, you don’t think it was weird?”

“of course not. i think it was fate.”

“fate?”

“wait here.”

you quickly walked over to your desk where you had left your phone. you immediately searched for the picture you had taken of her last tuesday and almost ran to show it to her.

“is that me?” ellie grabbed the phone from your hands and zoomed in the picture.

“yup,” you nodded. “this was the day before we first talked. i was taking pictures of orange and you appeared, out of nowhere. you looked as you’d beat the person who dared to speak to you,” a laugh escaped your lips. “i thought about for the rest of the day and hoped to see you again, and guess what? i did. see? it was fate.”

ellie warmly smiled, she caressed your cheek with her fingers before bringing you closer to give you the softest kiss ever given, “i guess it was.”

#ellie williams x you #ellie #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams imagine #tlou2 fluff

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Can you do one where Lando is sick during race weekend and still wants to race and you are taking care of him 🩵

Little Lando Norris- LN

Setting this in Brazil 2022 where Lando was actually a bit ill

Wednesday

Lando doesn’t look well but his stubbornness is proving to be at the forefront of denying the truth.

“Baby, you have a fever.” Y/n frowns trying to coax him into at least taking his hoodie off to cool off. But he shivers just at the thought and she sighs knowing it’s getting her nowhere. “Can we please get you in one of the cool vests?”

“I’m not hot-“

“Lando Norris, if you are going to drive in this race this weekend. Then you have to at least break the fever.” Y/n states putting her foot down before softening again. “Now, please can you let me help you?”

Lando grumbles but begrudgingly agrees to her do whatever to break the fever.

Luckily they didn’t have to travel too far for the race so while the travelling didn’t help, it hasn’t necessarily made things worse.

With the help of his trainer, y/n manages to get Lando’s temperature down but there’s not much more they can do aside from hope that helps him improve.

“Baby, stay with me.” Lando pouts with grabby hands directed at his girlfriend.

Lando is physically affectionate on a normal day but when he’s sick, the man can hardly cope without her being in arms reach and touching him in whatever way he can make happen.

Thursday

Media was visibly wearing him down, his whole attitude and stance was giving away how unwell he felt. But since he’s the extrovert between the two McLaren drivers, he keeps up the persona between moments of clear exhaustion.

Y/n is wise enough to get one of the medical team in to see to him between interviews where they conclude it’s tonsillitis.

Y/n grimaces as the doctor presses on his glands making Lando wince while

“I don’t know how you’ve managed to keep talking without crying.” The doctor states after checking the back of his throat with a grimace before looking at y/n. “Have you got any symptoms?”

“No…Am I going to catching it? I’ve sort of been avoiding kissing him since he started to have a fever.” Y/n admits earning a pout from her boyfriend. “Can you put him on antibiotics?”

“Yeah, we’ll get you on some Lando. But take it easy on your throat. Keep hydrated and don’t let the fever get out of control there. The antibiotics will take a few more takes to kick in, especially with how bad it’s got to. I’d say you’re still not going to be feeling great on Sunday.”

“I have to race.” Lando argues before shrinking back at little when y/n silently scolds him for speaking up.

“We’ll keep an eye on you, make sure that you’re physically up to racing.”

“I’ll take care of him.” Y/n promises earning a grin from Lando with a thumbs up.

Lando is taken off from the media schedule for the rest of the weekend.

“You don’t want to share tonsillitis together?” Lando grins while she sighs at him with a stern expression. He quickly gestures as if he’s zipping his mouth closed and locking it before throwing away an invisible key.

“If I have tonsillitis, that means longer with no kisses.” Y/n reminds him earning a pout while she picks up his water bottle. “Now, first things first. Hydration.”

Friday

There was a worse development even with the first of the antibiotics being taken.

FP1 he manages to do ok and focus but there’s little feedback with him being in more pain and y/n isn’t sure he should be in the car.

“Out of 10 how do you feel?” Y/n questions when he walks over to her in the garage pulling off his helmet looking like he’s been drenched.

He raises one hand to indicate a 5 making her sigh. Checking his temperature isn’t easy when he’s fresh out the car, but even trying she grimaces at the feeling of him burning up with a flashed pink face.

“Lando…” Y/n sighs rubbing her hand on a towel.

Her tone and expression tells him more than enough but he frowns shaking his head at her, his way of arguing without being verbal, even wagging a finger at her.

“You can’t race in this condition.” Y/n states with her arms crossed while he frowns at her refusing to change his mind. “So stubborn.”

He smirks a little before his trainer calls for him to get in a cool shower to try and manage his fever that is almost definitely slowly boiling his blood.

FP2 doesn’t really have any better of an outcome in terms of his health improving but the results are better after they debriefed data from the first practice.

“How’s our star doing?” Zak asks appearing once Lando is changed while y/n sits just waiting for her boyfriend. “Y/n?”

“His fever is back. I think resting is his best option for going into tomorrow.” Y/n shrugs since she knows Lando will be racing. Lando appears hugging y/n tightly from behind while she tries her best to ignore him a little.

“If you can’t do the race, Lando. The sooner we can know the better.”

“I can.” Lando argues but the sandpaper-esk roughness of his voice even makes Zak grimace.

“We’ll see what you’re like tomorrow and if you get through qualifying ok with doctors approval for you to go-ahead with Sunday.” Zak decides making Lando frown but nod since there’s really no point in trying to argue with him.

Saturday

No fever today but his voice is reduced to a whisper which is going to make the radio messages slightly harder for the team but it’s better for him when it comes to how he feels while driving and enduring the cockpit heat.

“Have something to drink.” Y/n mumbles as he climbs out the car after FP3.

“Hi to you too.” Lando whispers with a small smirk, clearly feeling a little more up to his usual cheeky attitude. He takes the bottle from her before he grins at her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, even if you’re a bit of an idiot.” Y/n sighs then smiling when he kisses her nose. There’s a sudden ache over the fact that actually they haven’t got to kiss for days now and she feels an honest need to kiss him, but logic gets the better of her.

Not that Lando misses the brief sad expression that crosses over her face.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” Lando questions making her shake her head and force a smile before he tugs her closer and stops her from stepping away from her. “Tell me before I lose my voice.”

“I just want to kiss you but I can’t.” Y/n mumbles watching Lando melt a little before he hugs her tightly, kissing her neck softly.

“Just a little bit longer.” Lando whispers making her nod before she moves back and he kisses her nose again.

“Be honest…how are you feeling?-I won’t tell anyone else, I just want to know how you’re really feeling.” Y/n asks since she knows Lando is covering up the truth because he doesn’t want the team to think he’s not up to it.

These drivers will push themselves on the line and beyond if it means they can drive and not let anyone down. Missing out on the points is never worth it to them.

“A bit shaky and tired.” Lando admits earning a small nod from the young woman. “But my throat doesn’t hurt nearly as much.”

“Ok, we’ll see how qualifying goes.” Y/n mumbles while Lando is called to look at the data to make sure they know what they’re doing. “Go on.”

Lando takes off leaving y/n to tidy up his drivers room, just out of habit. Along with making sure he’s got plenty of water.

She only sees him briefly before qualifying but afterwards he seems a little more tired than he usually would.

“You ok, baby?” Y/n frowns while he nods then grimacing when her cool hand touches his forehead, hoping not to find he’s got a fever. “You’re ok, just sweaty from the car. Go shower off.”

Sunday

The doctor made a final check over on Lando who is still feeling a little bit rough and though he won’t tell the team, he’s fairly obviously not as steady.

“Don’t crash. If you feel too bad to keep going, just tell Will and stop. Please do not keep going.” Y/n pleads with a sad expression that makes Lando sigh before he nods.

He’d never really stop the race by choice, and she knows that but if it helps her to feel more settled before the race then he’ll say it purely so he can comfort her.

Brazil has a lot of laps but a crash between Kevin and Daniel means that there’s a change in the race structure early on. Lando is doing pretty well too but when he knocks Charles out y/n can’t help but grimace knowing that might earn him some nasty comments. He even gets a 5 second penalty.

But pain strikes when Lando loses the engine and has to pull over. His race over.

Lando looks at her for a moment.

He doesn’t make it back until after the race due to not being allowed to cross the track and get back to the paddock while the race is still going.

But when he does finally return, he’s not happy nor is he feeling all that great.

He latches onto y/n like she’s a lifeline, not wanting to deal with anyone else or any media. Somehow they convince him to get out and do the post-race interview before attending the debrief which he nearly begs her to join him for but she assures him that she’ll be waiting outside for him.

“Alright, go get some rest.” Will instructs as they finish up and Lando gets the ok to leave with y/n already waiting with everything they need to take with them.

“Let’s get you to bed, baby.” Y/n smiles before offering her hand out to him which he takes, kissing the back off before waving some final goodbyes to everyone.

“Give me those.” Lando frowns taking the bags from her which makes them play a small game of tug of war before he wins and carries them the rest of the way to his car.

“So demanding.” Y/n states as they walk out the paddock. “I hope you realise I’m coddling you until you’re 100 percent again.”

“I’m really banking on that.” Lando smiles then opening the door for her to get in the car. “I love it when you get all fussy over me.”

“Attention whore.” Y/n laughs earning a grin from him.

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #lando #lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando x reader #lando norris fanfic #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 x reader #ln4 #norris #mclaren

[alwaysmicado]

we shouldn’t

2.9k | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader | one-shot

Warnings: 18+, no outbreak AU, alcohol, smut (but nothing too graphic), smooching, reader being a menace, fluff & the tiniest bit of angst Summary: Joel holds your hand after a night out. It makes you feel things you don’t want to feel. A/N: This little one-shot was very emotional for me to write, and I hope it’ll make you feel something, too. Can be read alone or as a prequel to part 1 within the fwb!Joel AU. Enjoy and let me know what you think! I love talking to you about these two! 🖤 series masterlist

“If I don’t catch you before the light, I’ll do that little dance you like so much.”

“Naked?” you ask with wide eyes. 

He chuckles at your enthusiasm. “Yeah, na–”

Before he can finish his sentence, you’re running—clumsily, but fueled by an eagerness that outshines the haze of your drunkenness.

“–ked.”

– – –

The neon lights of the city blur into a kaleidoscope as Joel and you stroll down the crowded streets, the remnants of laughter and clinking glasses still echoing in your ears from the bar you just left. It’s a beautiful night—alive with a buzz, a mix of the city’s energy and the warmth that comes from a few too many drinks.

You’re giggling uncontrollably at something Joel said, your hands clasped over your belly as your sides hurt from laughing. You don’t even remember what he said that was so funny, but that doesn’t matter.

You’re having fun—as always when you’re with him.

Joel glances over at you with a lopsided grin, his eyes slightly glazed but still sparkling with mischief.

“You’re such a lightweight, darlin’,” he says, his words laced with genuine amusement. He chuckles as you continue to giggle, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “No more Long Island Iced Teas for you.”

You playfully roll your eyes, trying to catch your breath, and delicately wiping away the happy tears spilling over.

“Oh, come on,” you quip, turning to him with an infectious grin. “Could a lightweight do this?”

Determined to prove him wrong, you theatrically hold out your arms and set one foot gracefully in front of the other, your pretend sobriety test turning into a whimsical dance along an invisible line on the floor.

“See?” you say excitedly—and perhaps a tad too loudly—before your own enthusiasm sends you stumbling over your own feet. Lucky for you, Joel’s reflexes kick in, and he effortlessly catches you before you can faceplant and hurt yourself.

“Easy there, baby,” he teases with a grin, his strong arms steadying you before pulling you into a tight embrace. “You’re just having too much fun tonight, huh?”

“S’not fair,” you slur against his chest, giggles bubbling up from deep inside you. “The world is spinning.”

Joel looks at you, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “That’s not–” he begins but stops himself, chuckling. “Well, actually, yes, you’re right. The world is spinning, baby.” He presses a soft kiss against your temple. “I got you though.”

Giggles subside into a contented sigh as you rest against Joel’s broad chest, the fleeting touch of his fingers brushing against your back.

“Thank you,” you murmur, taking in his warmth and his scent. “Mmm, you smell nice. How do you always smell so nice?” 

Lifting your head, you gaze into his eyes with honest bewilderment and curiosity, your brow furrowed, as if this is the most perplexing mystery that needs unraveling.

“Reminds me of when we met. My clothes smelled like you when I got home that night.”

Joel’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he looks at you with a genuine sense of adoration, his heart warmed by the sincerity and carefree spirit that your drunken honesty radiates.

He’s obviously not going to tell you that he’s made sure to only ever use the aftershave you complimented him on the first night you spent together, but he’s secretly delighting in the fact that you still like it.

“Well, aren’t you sweet, darlin’,” he coos, an amused smile gracing his lips. “You were such a brat not even twenty minutes ago and now look at you. Tame as a little kitten.”

“No idea what you’re talking about.” You bite your lip and put your hands on his chest, your pupils so dilated your eyes are black.

You can still feel his fingers inside you.

Joel runs his hands up and down your back, a sensation that makes your knees weak. He bores his eyes into you and raises an eyebrow.

“I’m talking about you acting like a whore in that bar just so I’d make you come on my fingers.” His hands wander down to your ass, groping you, pulling you closer against his body. “You knew I’d fuck you when we got to your place, but you just couldn’t wait, huh?”

“Hmm, you love it,” you chuckle, pressing a soft kiss on his warm lips. “Don’t act like you’re not a total perv yourself. ‘Cause, you know, you are, and that’s why you just fingered me in a crowded bar. And that’s why you almost came in your pants. And that’s also why we get along so well.”

Joel grins at you, savoring the lingering sensation of your lips on his. “Touché, you little smartass.”

Your eyes drop to his mustache, perched proudly on his top lip. He’s shaved off the rest of his facial hair, and tonight’s the first time you’ve seen him like this. It suits him.

“You see something you like, baby?”

“I love your mustache. It’ so fucking hot,” you murmur, mesmerized, gently touching the little hairs above Joel’s lip with your fingertips. “Makes you look like an ‘80s pornstar.”

“You’re into that?” he chuckles, noting the particular fixation your inebriated brain has chosen this time—last time, it was the curve of his nose. You’re adorable.

“Fuck yeah. The only thing missing are assless chaps and a tight mesh shirt.” You wrap your arms around him and look into his beautiful brown eyes.

“Mmm, you never cease to surprise me, darlin’,” he murmurs against the shell of your ear before nibbling on your earlobe. “I didn’t realize you were such a fan of my ass.”

You giggle and squeeze his cheeks to make a point, pulling away a bit to lock your lidded eyes on his. “Oh, you have no idea. I’ll tie you to your bed next time and show you if you want. Fair warning, though, I won’t be gentle.”

Joel’s eyes widen, his erection straining against the harsh fabric of his jeans.

“Careful, darlin’,” he growls into your ear, “if you can’t behave yourself, I’ll have to put you in your place. And I promise you, I won’t be gentle either.”

You can’t suppress the little moan that escapes your lips as Joel’s words go straight to your pussy. His scent, his deep voice, his broad body against yours, his dark eyes—it all has you melting in his arms, craving his touch. Badly.

“Can we go, please?” you plead, your tone carrying the unmistakable hint of neediness Joel loves to hear so much.

“You’re insatiable, you know that?” he murmurs, his hands finding your waist, pulling you against his groin with a possessive grip.

You playfully roll your eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. “Yeah, yeah, and I’m a bad, bad girl that needs to be punished—yada yada yada. Can we go now? Please?”

You pull away from his embrace with a cheeky smile and start tugging on his arm, urging him to move. Joel snorts at your impatience, thoroughly entertained by the frustrated little noises you make when he doesn’t budge.

One eyebrow raised and hands on your hips, you glare at him defiantly. You’re swaying a little now that he’s not holding you anymore.

“I’ll fucking run home and get myself off if you don’t get your ass in gear right now.”

“You still haven’t grasped the concept of asking nicely, huh? And after all this time I’ve tried to teach you,” he chuckles, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “You’re lucky I’m in a good mood and can’t wait to fill up that pretty little pussy of yours.”

He tilts your chin up with his thumb and index finger to search your eyes. To his satisfaction, he finds pure hunger in them. Your brain has completely shut off any and all functions except for imagining Joel taking you roughly in your bed. Or on your sofa. Or on the floor.

“Tell you what, you brat. You get a ten-second head start, and if I catch you before you reach that traffic light over there, you’re not allowed to touch me once you’re naked.” 

“And if you don’t catch me?”

Joel needs to hold back his laugh at the ridiculous idea that you’d be faster than him. 

“If I don’t catch you before the light, I’ll do that little dance you like so much.”

“Naked?” you ask with wide eyes. 

He chuckles at your enthusiasm. “Yeah, na–”

Before he can finish his sentence, you’re running—clumsily, but fueled by a determination that outshines the haze of your drunkenness.

“–ked.”

The night air that envelops you is alive with laughter and the distant hum of the city as you stumble towards the traffic light, your unsteady steps dictated by the alcohol coursing through your veins. Your brain can’t decide between giggling and breathing, so you’re left with a side stitch and gasping for air after a few short seconds.

At least you had enough foresight to choose comfort over sexiness when you put on your sneakers tonight instead of your heels.

Joel’s eyes track you, captivated by the rhythmic sway of your legs beneath the hem of the short dress you’re wearing. Oh, how he can’t wait to feel your naked skin pressed against his. You’re always so soft, so warm, so receptive to his touch…

He snaps out of it, realizing the very real potential for a clumsy misstep, and joins the chase. His steps are more purposeful, not wanting you to trip and hurt yourself, especially not on his watch.

A few meters shy of the traffic light, he catches up, arms wrapping around you from behind. You squeal in surprise, a mixture of laughter and exhilaration bubbling up from deep inside you. Joel joins in, his laughter harmonizing with yours, as he triumphantly murmurs, “Got you” in your ear.

He sets you down gently and pulls you close as your heart is still racing, and presses his lips on yours in a deep, lingering kiss.

“Not fair,” you mumble against his lips with a pout. “And I don’t wanna live in a world where you don’t dance for me.”

Joel sighs deeply, succumbing to the irresistible charm of your big puppy eyes.

“How about this, baby. You’re good and do what I say without talking back, and I’ll dance for you until you’re dizzy. Hm?”

“Okay, sounds fair,” you murmur, wanting nothing more than to get home quickly and rip his clothes off. Riling him up in the bar and coming all over his fingers was nice, but you’ve had far from enough.

“Good girl.”

As the traffic light shifts to green, Joel’s hand instinctively finds yours, not wanting to let you stumble across the street without him holding you. You don’t think too much about it, assuming he’ll let go once you’re on the other side.

Surprisingly, though, his grip persists, and he intertwines his fingers with yours.

It’s a gesture so simple, yet it simultaneously sobers you up and sends a ripple through the carefully constructed walls you’ve built around your emotions. Confusion colors your eyes as you steal a glance at him, and he meets your eyes with a warmth that makes your heart skip a beat.

You don’t like it.

This isn’t the casual arm around the shoulder or the hand on your hip. This feels like…more. Like something you’d only do in a relationship. Joel’s touch is warm and electric, and an unsettling realization dawns—the casual arrangement you’ve shared with him suddenly seems more complicated.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

“What are you doing?” you ask, feigning nonchalance, although your heart is doing somersaults.

“What do you mean?” Joel smirks, giving your hand a playful squeeze. “Just trying to keep you from stumbling into the bushes, baby. I’m a gentleman, you know.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, but the butterflies in your stomach tell a different story. The truth is, you’ve been here before—caught in the crossroads of friendship and something more. It’s a delicate balance, and one you don’t want to upset.

Joel’s the best thing that has happened to you in a long time, and you don’t want to lose what you have. But you also care for him enough that you’d let him go if your arrangement didn’t make him happy anymore.

As you finally reach your apartment building, a nervous flutter sets your heart pounding in your chest. You clear your throat and subtly allow your fingers to slip away from Joel’s, feigning the need for both hands as you rummage through your purse in search of your key.

You follow Joel inside, deliberately averting your gaze, your eyes fixed on the glowing buttons as you summon the elevator. As you step inside the confined space, a wave of memories floods your mind, recalling the last time you’ve given in to your desires when the brief elevator ride felt too long to resist.

Joel knelt in front of you, skillfully drawing an orgasm out of you with his tongue while your fingers were tangled in his dark curls. Once he had his fill, he proceeded to throw you over his shoulder and fuck you in front of your living room mirror. You’ll never forget how he forced you to look at yourself with his hand wrapped around your neck.

You’re abruptly pulled back to the present as you feel Joel’s hand finding yours once again, trying to reassure you that he’s here if you need him. You look at him with a conflicted expression, torn between appreciating his caring gesture and the fear of disappointing him.

As you shuffle to your apartment door, Joel finally breaks the silence, his voice low and soothing, “Are you alright, darlin’? Do you feel sick?” His eyes search your face, concern evident in his furrowed brow.

“Nah, just a bit tipsy,” you reply automatically, your tone light as you lean against the wall. 

However, when he starts tracing gentle circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, you’re unable to suppress the growing unease any longer. Tightness settles in your chest, accompanied by a fluttering sensation that dances beneath your ribcage.

“It’s just…I, uh,” you murmur, “I didn’t expect you to hold my hand is all.”

“Oh.” Joel’s gaze softens, and he releases your hand, the connection severed. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, darlin’. I should’ve asked if you were okay with it, I’m sorry.”

You shake your head vehemently. “No, no, it’s not that I didn’t like it. It’s just...it felt–” you cut yourself off and sigh deeply, turning around to open your apartment door. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Joel nods, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I understand, darlin’. Thank you for telling me.”

“I’m sorry,” you switch on the light in your living room and throw your purse onto your sofa. “I know it’s weird, but I really…we–we shouldn’t and I…I can’t–”

“Darlin’, hey,” he steps inside and closes the door behind him. “There’s no need for you to apologize, or explain for that matter.”

You turn around and take him in for a moment. His warm eyes, his soft smile, the cute little movements his hand makes when he’s nervous—he’s just so…sweet. You’re not used to a guy being so considerate of your boundaries, and it’s incredibly hard for you to believe that he actually means it and won’t use them against you once he’s tired of you.

You know it’ll happen at some point, but you’re okay with that. This isn’t meant to last.

“Do you, uh, still wanna stay for a nightcap?” you ask him with a hopeful smile. 

“Of course I do, darlin’,” he says, tilting his head and looking at you curiously.

You open your arms, silently inviting him to draw you into a comforting embrace. You’re relieved when his response is immediate and eager.

“We’re on the same page, right?” he asks, a genuine smile on his lips as his dark eyes search yours. “We have fun, and I like spending time with you, but I want you to feel comfortable, too. If this,” he gestures between the two of you, “ever becomes more than you’re comfortable with, we talk about it. No pressure, no expectations. Just us, enjoying each other’s company.”

He pulls back slightly to gauge your reaction, his hand still gently resting on your waist. 

“Sounds perfect, Joel,” you coo in response, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Now, would you please shut up and kiss me already.”

“Alright, alright, you brat,” Joel chuckles and cups your cheek with his warm hand, before leaning in and sealing the agreement with a lingering kiss to your lips.

“Mmm, I’m so happy I met you, darlin’,” he whispers. “You’re something else, you know?”

You look into his eyes, and there’s a sincerity in them that catches you off guard. You know you shouldn’t have sex with him right now, you know you should tell him to leave. 

And yet, as soon as you feel his lips on yours again, more fervently this time, his hands exploring the contours of your back, drawing you close, the rational part of your mind fades away.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” he breathes out before switching to kissing down your neck, the sensation of his soft lips on your sensitive skin making you whimper.

“I want you, Joel. I want you.”

– – –

Thanks for reading, guys!! 🤍

part 1 || series masterlist || main masterlist

tagging: @buckyispunk @koshkaj-blog @paleidiot @pattwtf @runningmom94 @tuquoquebrute @witchofthedeepwoods let me know if you want to be added!

#fwb!joel miller x f!reader #fwb!joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel miller au #series: you wanted this #joel miller fanfic #joel miller tlou #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fic #the last of us fic #joel miller smut #joel the last of us #tlou fic #joel miller x f!reader #pedro pascal characters

[gojoidyll]

thinking of boothill x insecure ! reader.

warnings | pre-release boothill & grammatical errors

All your life there was always someone who tore you down and made you feel lesser than those around you.

But when you met Boothill, well, you thought that maybe you could finally get the peace you've been searching for. Besides, unlike everyone else, he doesn't tell you to clean your forehead so he can place a bullet between your eyes. (You saw that as a compliment since everyone else gets threatened here and there.)

However, your scars, though invisible and deeply rooted where no one can see, are still there. Eating away at you.

And you know that someone tampered with Boothill's Synesthesia Beacon, so you know that when he says something like "cutie" it isn't something nice at all.

Which is why you couldn't stop that nagging feeling in the back of your head everytime Boothill calls you as such.

"Hey cutie-"

"Cutie."

"So, how about it, cutie?"

His tone would always be flirtatious and smooth. But, you were never good at reading people. Was he mocking you? Was he abusing his tampered beacon and using it as a chance to call you crude names without you knowing?

It always made your body tense and your eyes to look away from him.

Boothill was always quick to notice your change in demeanor when the nickname would leave his lips.

"Watch ya overthinking about now, cutie?"

Now it was one of those rare days where he didn't have anyone to chase after or a bounty to collect, and here you were sitting at a bar all by your lonesome self. And, as per usual, he didn't fail to notice your tensed up shoulders the moment "cutie" left his mouth.

"Nothing..."

"Don't be like that, cutie, go on and tell ol' Boothill what's troubling ya."

He decided to push your buttons. If you weren't going to answer him normally, then calling you cutie a bunch of times was bound to do the trick.

"Can you," you mumbles the rest of your request causing him to lean into you. Your elbows just barely touching as you gripped your class of (favorite) drink tightly. The condensation of the glass soaking your hands.

"What was that, cutie?"

He emphasized the nickname while being sure to pop the "t".

"That nickname... please stop calling me that. I know your synesthesia beacon is broken, so i-"

"Let me stop ya right there," he threw and arm around your shoulders and pulled you against him. The cool metal was a stark contrast to the heat you could feel radiating off of him. It was an odd feeling.

"I got that beacon fixed a few months ago and even before I got it fixed.. when I would call you cutie or something else, it was never meant to be an insult."

You opened and closed your mouth trying to find the words to say something, anything.

HE GOT IT FIXED?!?!?!

"I- you- what?!"

He laughed at your dumbfounded expression and gave your hip a firm slap, "the expressions you make are sure worthwhile to see, cutie. Now, let's drink!"

After that, you were sad to say that your insecurities were still there. They still haunted you everytime you looked in a mirror or were around people who you genuinely thought were better than you in every possible way.

But when you were with Boothill, well, he made you feel worth it.

#honkai star rail #hsr #boothill x reader #boothill x you #boothill x y/n #hsr boothill #hsr boothill x reader

[yuellii]

flawless night, forevermore

feat. ayato, baizhu, alhaitham, childe, kaveh, raiden ei ( separate )

𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 they are so obviously in love with you

( or, in which i tie them to a taylor song i’ve been crazing over, but you don’t have to know the songs to read / understand )

note. reader’s gender unspecified, no other warnings

> part one / part two ( more characters )

KAMISATO AYATO. lover

His lips curled up with a fathomless fondness he did not even notice about himself. His ticklish gaze, his admiring eyes, his comforting silence—such a poor, poor man drowning in his hopelessness, falling love struck into the night.

Even atop the dewy grass that stained his carefully tailored clothes, he paid no mind to the mess as he preferred to hear you talk instead. The intelligence of a Kamisato was long forgone in the melody of your voice, and perhaps you had strum his heartstrings too much to the point he loses his senses. He forgets a lot of things about himself when he’s with you, perhaps at one point, even his own name.

Kamisato, the name that ties him to a lifetime of formality and not a single night of rest. A dreary lifetime that does not allow him to learn the wonders of love. But oh, how he loves you.

“I’ve always wanted one of those cute little tea tables,” you muttered into the cool winds under the glowing moon. Your finger absentmindedly traced an oval into the air, a motion that had his head following your invisible drawing. “We can sit together in the mornings and have tea before work.”

“Then we’ll get one,” Ayato affirmed. He failed to notice how his own grin had widened, simply as an automatic reaction from seeing your pleased smile at his response. “Little cushions for us to sit in, too,” he added on. “You know those round ones? We can have them in our favorite colors.”

Look at him, blushing over silly cushions.

There’s a dazzling haze in his eyes when he’s like this. It’s a spark that never runs out once ignited, for he has a history of rambling when he’s with you. “There is this porcelain tea set we can get, which has a pattern I know you’ll like,” he’ll say, further jumping to “And it comes in a set of four—we can always invite Ayaka and Thoma over to drink with us.” He’ll go on and on like this, fantasizing of a life where you lived together, happily ever after.

He’s imagined this for eons in his head. Such innocent-presenting ideas and remarks, but it’s obvious in the way he talks so fast. It’s ridiculously evident the more excited he gets as the night stretches on, that he’s been daydreaming of the moment you move in with him, so he may love you every day.

All he asks is to be forever yours, for as long as time permits.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

BAIZHU. sparks fly

It almost never rained in Liyue.

But his words were such a booming thunderstorm that no water droplet could ever compare, even amidst this cold, grey afternoon. And only when he finally blew you away like a thin stack of cards, did he feel a sharp sense of emptiness at the sight of you running off into the pouring rain.

Baizhu admitted that you were a burden to him. Boring, unintelligent, annoying—that you were a hindrance to be around. You were only a distraction to Qiqi, and more importantly, a bothersome presence to him.

It took all his willpower just to spit such venom from his tongue straight to your face—all his might just to convince you that seeing him is a bad idea. And yet, you still called him a liar.

“You mean none of those words,” you sharply inhaled via short, speechless breaths. He could tell you were breaking down from his hateful speech, but to his guilt, it was exactly what he wanted to see from you. “You’re just trying to drive me away again,” you spat out. You were trying to convince yourself: that fact alone was clear to him. But the longer he stayed quiet despite biting back the truth—biting back that he has fallen so immensely deep in love with you—you began to doubt yourself.

But the moment he watched your figure break down past this storm, he immediately crumbled with a sense of guilt much stronger than any curse he has ever wished upon himself.

Perhaps he was too harsh on you. Archons, perhaps he was too mean—this was exactly why he didn’t deserve you. You deserved better than such a sick, lowly man who could not even live for himself, instead binding his life to save others instead.

But still, even after all his own revelations and realization of his nonexistent self worth…

He was still a greedy, selfish man.

And that selfishness had him running right out of his door and into the pouring rain, not caring at how the sudden cold nipped and picked at his skin, or how the winds beat at his frail body. Not even the Archons could halt such a starvation for salvation—it was the only spark he had left to chase.

In this cold, dreary life—in this cold, dreary day alone—you still shone like the sun under the dim streetlights of Liyue upon this pale grey sky. His body still eased the moment you caught his eye, almost as if your gaze alone had suddenly removed every drop of sickness he self-injected into his own bloodstream, or as if you were the cure he was looking for all his life.

Such selfishness once again had his body fighting from collapsing when he desperately fell into your arms that held him so dearly. And the greed of mankind only snapped when found his lips settled so hopelessly against yours, clinging onto your kiss as if he would die tonight.

Truly, maybe he would. But for now, in your embrace, he feels the strongest he’s ever been since he sold his soul.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

ALHAITHAM. enchanted

Archons, he hated these events, though he had no choice but to attend. No one could ever allow the Acting Grand Sage, even if he held so much spite, to escape the demeaning eyes of Sumerean publicity.

Alhaitham held himself as an independent soul. But this formalwear, this clanging of champagne glasses, this suffocating air—were definitely not so independent nor free.

This hall of aspiring young scholars and old men, all in one exhibit for the sake of research and networking. Academics is what they acclaim, but the Acting Grand Sage may be too thick of a personality for them (if he had one at all). But the only thing keeping his eyes open from boredom, quite surprisingly a person, was you.

You, who looked young compared to these much older alumni and long-time scholars. And it was truly you, out of the many faces in this room, who he could not name.

Your eyes met from across the room. Such a sliver of a chance—his eyes whispered a curious glance from the opposite wall among this dreary sea of scholars. There was a spark graced by the Electro Archon, perhaps; or maybe even a gush of wind from the God of Anemo. But every sense of composure was lost when his body moved on its own, walking himself closer and closer just to meet you.

It begins with hello; it always does. It continues with quick remarks, with “I’ve never seen you before,” and with “Have we met?” And soon enough, he feels like he’s in school again. He feels a flutter he has not known in years, an urge to talk quicker than he can think. The crinkle at the corner of your eyes has him immersed in amazement. The sole fact that you can crack a smile at him; a smile that wasn’t fake politeness like all these scholars.

For some reason unbeknownst to him, that expression of yours alone had his feet glued to the floor, like you’ve trapped him in such an engaging conversation he desperately could not let go. It was a forcibly dreadful night—you turned it flawlessly enchanting in a way that you read to him like a book, all in which he could not put you down once he begins.

And once the event ends, and he is forced to leave you so soon, he watches you walk away with an expression that he himself could not even read.

Wonderstuck.

He would never notice the light tint on his face, staining his cheeks all the way home.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

CHILDE. cruel summer

Left foot, right foot, tiptoe, right foot—hold the counter, hold the wall, hold the rail all the way up the steps… He’s got this.

One step down the hall, another foot down, a third one until he finds a steady rhythm. The room is hazy, the walls are spinning. His head hurts and he feels like a baby taking his first steps, so helpless and unsteady that he almost wants to cry again from exasperated frustration alone. Why was this so hard? Did he really hate himself so much, that he would stagger his way home from the bar like this?

One hand on the door, turn the knob, and—

Ah. He dropped his keys so loudly on the floor.

You woke up with a start from the bedside, immediately turning to him wide-eyed in both starling surprise from the noise, and more importantly, concern. He didn’t mean to wake you. He hated feeling guilty, but it was the exact feeling that crept up his spine once he saw the devastated look on your face. Frenzied eyes and dark circles—clearly you had stayed up just to wait for him, too.

“Ajax,” you voiced—a tone full of worry and heavy exhaustion, God, he felt so horrible. “Oh, Ajax, come here.”

As much as he didn’t like it when you cared for him like this, he was not immune to the sounds of your calling. His shaky legs carried him immediately, as if the alcohol in his system was pulling him towards you, too. “I’m fine,” he barely stuttered out. It was a claim he had to make immediately, a sign he was desperate to reassure you.

Your eyes grew heavier, though he did not know if they were lidded from concern or from sleepiness. Either way, he practically melted from the touch of your palms resting against his cheeks. So warm, but a much more pleasant warmth than the burning summer air that he just walked in, all the way home with a liquor-dazed mind.

“Have you been crying…?” Ah, and that was why your eyes were narrow—they were squinting at the sorry stains of tears that lined his cheeks. He forgot to wipe them, it seemed. It was almost laughable.

“No, just sweat from the heat.”

Crying over you… He’d never let you know that. To cry, to bleed, to die—you would never be the first person he tells.

“You reek of liquor…” Quite disgustingly so, he thinks. And yet, you still held his face so fondly, moving his head in such a gentle manner as you swiped his tear stains with the pads of your thumbs.

He stayed silent. He had no answer to this one.

“I love you,” he mutters, though it’s a confession nevertheless. And he says it so sadly—so miserably that you couldn’t help but sigh. He hates it, too. He hates it when you sigh. Because when you sigh, it means you’ll just let it go; No matter how many lies he tells, or how many times he cries, or how many secrets he keeps, you’ll still accept him like always.

“I love you, too.” And that was the worst line he’s ever heard.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

KAVEH. foolish ones

“Oh, woe is me…” Loves me, loves me not, loves me… “Did you happen to see anything in the mailbox?”

His roommate stared. “Go check it yourself.”

Kaveh heavily sighed. He couldn’t; He physically could not bear to do it. It’s not that he was lazy to get up, no. The real issue was the genuine grief he would feel when he opened the mailbox, only to see nothing inside. No special gifts, no romantic letters, and absolutely no confessions of love signed with your name.

It was embarrassing, really. To feel this dramatic and obsessed with words of admiration from you—oh, especially when Alhaitham found out about this whole lovesick ordeal. But he could not help his mind from just imagining it: the reflection of himself in your eyes as you finally confess your feelings of passion and love for him (feelings that didn’t exist, feelings he merely imagined you having, all so pathetically).

But he’s so weird, and he’s so terrible. To imagine a fabled life with you when you probably did not think about him this same way. How foolish. Did you daydream about him like he daydreamed about you every night before he slept? Did you think about him like he thought about you every time he sees your favorite color in the passing? Did you wait at your mailbox like he waited for any letters from you? No. No, you didn’t.

And he’s cried, quite humiliatingly. He’s cried that the perfect life he could picture himself having with you at his side would never be a reality. He’s cried a downpour of tears, simply because he allowed himself to be so caught up in a delusion that was so sick of him to conjure up.

“Are you free for dinner tonight?”

“So sorry Kaveh, I already have plans…”

Plans with someone else. No wonder you hadn’t written him any messages, or contacted him in a while. That… was not the scenes he had in his head. His imaginations, his hopes, his dreams—they did not have someone else in them. For someone he was so hopelessly in love with, he felt so much hurt. A foolish lesson to be learned by a foolish romantic.

In the end, he’d just be talking himself to sleep again. He’d just smile at the sight of you flourishing. Without him, your world will go on turning. A world full of reciprocated love and devotion, one that he would never know.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

RAIDEN EI. you belong with me

The Raiden Shogun was self-destructive. No more than a few people knew of such a fact, but she was certainly one of them.

Because if she cared for her own wellbeing, truly, then she would not fall for selfish desires. Nor, would she be here now, sitting next to you outside a sliding screen in her private gardens of Tenshukaku, sipping your favorite tea and hearing your sweet voice ramble about something so unpleasant to her ears. If she prioritized her own emotions, then maybe she’d be living in blissful ignorance right now instead of listening to your woes over a lover… A lover that was not her.

“And then, she teases me,” you complained, though it was clear you hated it. You didn’t like whining about your partner, which was a good thing—but it made Ei feel sick, because it meant you really loved that woman. “I know she does that all the time, and I just need to get used to it,” you continued, “but sometimes, it gets too much, and she still doesn’t stop.”

But I wouldn’t do that to you, the archon thinks to herself. And suddenly, the tea isn’t as appetizing anymore, because her own words felt drilled onto her tongue, forever forbidden to speak aloud.

“Miko… Has always been like that,” Ei quietly admits instead. She doesn’t want to insult your lover, for that same person was also her own friend. She wanted to be supportive, but it was impossible when she was so in love with you, that she spent every second of each passing day just wishing she was in Miko’s place instead.

“Yeah… But—still, I mean…” You sighed, coming to a loss for words to describe the pink haired shrine maiden. “Is it really so hard to ask just for her to understand how I’m feeling…?” you whined in what seemed like genuine distress. Your face sunk into your hands, and it took all of Ei’s willpower just to keep her respective distance from a romantically taken friend.

But I understand how you feel, Ei once again thinks. She feels so dirty of a friend for comparing herself like this. I understand you better than she will ever.

“Ei…” you muttered. She almost chokes from the way you say her name. “What should I do…?”

Be with me, instead. “Don’t cry over something, or someone, you cannot control. It’s possible your personalities are just not fit for each other, you know.”

“But I love her, Ei…”

Ouch.

She clears her throat, recovering from sharp breath of air she just inhaled. A part of her just broke in that moment, and it was so obvious, too—her expression quickly changed, her body became stiff, her balance suddenly shifted, and yet…

You noticed none of it. Your head was too clouded over love for another woman that was not her; So clouded, in fact, you did not notice the way Ei almost began to tremble. The misery you carried only crafted tenfold for the archon, eternally unbeknownst to you.

But you don’t belong to her, anyways. So why was she crying?

#childe x reader #ayato x reader #baizhu x reader #alhaitham x reader #kaveh x reader #raiden ei x reader #al haitham x reader #ei x reader #tartaglia x reader #ayato kamisato imagines #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato kamisato x reader #genshin imagines

[popquizhot-shot]

Father mine. Miguel O’Hara x teen!Spider!reader

Hope you like this :D it’s sad asf.

Warnings: mommy issues backstory, feelings of inadequacy, wanting to feel pain. Angst.

Miguel’s body shields over yours as Miles breaks through the force field and causes everyone to fly backwards. Your leg bends in an unnatural way and you resist the urge to cry out.

He holds you to him and does a once over of your form. You nod at him, not wanting to worry him and he looks to Miles.

You can see the exact moment where the rope finally breaks and he chases after the boy.

Your cries fall on deaf ears as you run behind him. Your legs screams with ever step and you’re forced to stop and look helplessly as he calls every spider and alerts them.

Soon enough there’s a hole broken in one of the windows as Miles jumps and Miguel follows. Every other spider jumping after the both of them like blind followers.

You join them, because you would follow Miguel to the death.

You try to focus all the power into your arms and your good leg but it’s fucking hard because you’re climbing the spaceship that Miles has somehow traversed.

In front of you, is every other spider that is a part of the society, and each of them is almost climbing on top of the others like mindless zombies that crave flesh.

Your spider sense tingles and you duck just in time for Miguel to fall past you and hang on to the spaceship with his claws.

You Web him and he looks at you gratefully.

“Gracias, Mija.” He grunts, his eyes glowing red.

You don’t answer. His hair is disheveled and he looks he’s been electrocuted or some shit, his fangs are bared and he snarles as he looks above you, “let me go now, and go back to the fucking tower.”

You scowl, “why should I?”

He tears through the webs, “because I said so, I’m already pissed off at two teenagers, don’t make me even worse.” He seethes and your lips form a thin line under your mask.

Suddenly, you’re eight years old trying to convince your mother to talk to you when she’s giving you the silent treatment and you have to gulp to try to keep your whimper of pain inside. You’re not a burden, you think, as he shakes his head and jumps past you.

something in you screams to go back, to listen to him. For once to listen to him, not just because you’re afraid he won’t love you anymore if you don’t but, call it spider sense pro, it helps predict the future so you listen to it.

You reluctantly jump out of the force field and swing. You can see the hole in the broken window and the jagged edges that form it. They resemble your heart and you clench your jaw and zoom through, tucking your legs inwards and crouching into a roll to minimise impact. The pain is still there when you hit the ground, but you wish it was harder.

You deserve to hurt right now. You deserve the pain in your leg and the pain in your heart because you’re not a good kid.

A groan leaves your lips as your spider sense tells you to go to where the go home machine is.

You run to the area and see spider byte and lyla walking around in a panicked frenzy.

“What the hell is going on?” You say out loud and they turn to look at you.

“Your dad is being a horrible person.” Spider-Byte scowls.

You look at Lyla and she doesn’t meet your eyes, only turning back to look at the monitors.

You squint and look at the go-home machine.

Miles. Invisible Miles.

You know why Miguel is mad, you know the risk that Miles brings, because you’ve seen first hand how a universe is destroyed. Your own was.

But Miles is a kid. He’s like you, wanting to save his dad. Just like you’re trying to help yours.

You can feel his panic and his anger and his hurt.

He turns visible at the last second and you meet his eyes as everyone storms in. Your own dad leading the party as the go-home machine starts to operate.

And then you look at the man who is your father. The man who has fed you and bandaged you and smiled at your jokes. The man who has been there with you through so much.

You watch as he shouts and tries to break the barrier. You see Peter’s horror. You watch as he pries open the field just the slightest. You see him try and kill a kid. A kid like you.

And your eyes fill with tears because this man is a monster.

By some dumb luck, Miles is able to escape and Miguel stands defeated. The go-home machine Scans him and he breaks it like it’s nothing. You flinch.

You watch as he turns and walks amidst everyone like nothing has happened. You watch as he dishes out orders as if he hasn’t just tried to take the life of a child. You watch him threaten Gwen, and you watch as he sends her to her universe. Ignoring her cries because to him, she’s an inconvenience.

Is that what you are? Now that you’re not on his side anymore?

He opens a portal and Jessica and another Peter you don’t give a shit about walk through. His eyes meet yours as his mask materialises over his face. You know he expects you to follow him, even if he tells you to stay. So he doesn’t bother and walks in.

You don’t follow.

Because this man, this cold, unflinching monster of a man is not your father.

Part 2 here

#miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #atsv #atsv x reader #mini miguel<33

[copperbadge]

See, the thing is, I don't think Tumblr is A/B testing.

A/B testing is for shit like "Which subject line gets a better response to a mass email." It's meant to be invisible to the consumer or end-recipient. With a massive sweeping shift in UI of a social media site, there's no point in A/B testing if you aren't actively soliciting organized feedback; it's not like the change isn't highly visible. There's no reason not to institute this change and then pop up a window asking exactly what we think. There's no reason to do it on a Wednesday and then have Support direct everyone to a blog whose only meaningful way of gathering feedback isn't open until next Monday, and who has until now basically been a PR operation.

And frankly even if they were A/B testing, who fucking asked me if I wanted to be tested on? Did they think I'd welcome being told that I'm their guinea pig?

This isn't an A/B test. It's a tolerance test. Give half the site an untenably bad UI and tell them your hands are tied and see how long it takes them to acclimate. See how long it takes them to cobble some shit together to make it tolerable so you can keep your garbage new design when everyone else inevitably gets it too. How uncomfortable can you keep them and still keep them? That's the question they're answering.

Fine, you motherfuckers win. As long as this site is still 5% less garbage than the others, most of us will stay. Where are we going to go? So don't bother testing in future. Just push your fucking code. I'll be gone as soon as I can, but for all I know that's years away. I hope that makes you feel powerful, assholes. You're curating a site based on learned helplessness. I hope that makes you feel big.

#ill be back tomorrow for reals #im going to the korean sauna today and i wanted to get this anger out before then

[luvvyouforever]

matchmaker, matchmaker - azriel x reader

↳ mor drags azriel to velaris's resident matchmaker, only for him to fall for her instead of his potential suitors.

↳ no major warnings apply! just some fluff and cuteness. not grammar or spell checked. sorry hehe

↳ requests are open! check bio.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

azriel and mor sat at a cafe table in the heart of velaris, steam rising from the tea cups in front of each of them. this was not an uncommon occurence by any means and the pair frequented the many shops and restaurants throughout the town. however, this time, there was an air of tension between them which caused their waitress to carefully place their drinks away from the edges of the table.

"you're telling me you won't even consider seeing her? do you know all that she's done for velaris, az?"

"she's just high fae, mor. she's not some prophecy teller that can see mating bonds between people. i don't understand what she could even do for me."

ah, yes. the topic of conversation was azriel's love life and mor was desperately trying to convince the spymaster to see her friend, the matchmaker of velaris.

what azriel was saying was true. she did not have some special power that allowed her to see the invisible string connecting mates. she could not look into her mind and pull out the best partner for someone. she just knew how to read people and how to do it well. she was responsible for a lot of the matches in velaris, even predicting nesta and cassian long before anyone else could.

"you're lonely, azriel. i can tell! you want to dance with someone at rita's and have a date to parties just as bad as anyone else. you just won't admit it," mor declared. her voice softened and she continued, "i want what's best for you, az. we all do. will you see her for me? please? even if nothing works out."

azriel sighed and took a drink of his tea which was still too hot for his mouth. damn mor and her awareness of the people in her life. and damn him for the way he'd give in to her so easily. "fine," he mumbled. "i will try. but no promises."

that next week, azriel came back from a trip to the mortal lands and immediately, mor was at the door to his room, badgering him about the meeting she set up for later that day. she declared that he could not reschedule or miss the meeting and that he should dress in something nice.

begrudgingly, azriel took a long bath to make sure he looked and smelled fine enough to get a potentially good match from mor's friend. he chose more "normal" clothing as instructed by mor and flew down to the bright townhouse fast enough to reach the door just as his appointment was set to begin.

she surely sensed him because before he even got the chance to knock, she threw the door open and greeted him.

"azriel, right? spymaster of the high lord's court," she said sweetly. "i am quite honored to have you in my home."

azriel felt too awkward for his own good and just nodded with as polite of a smile as he could muster.

"come on! come on!" she ushered him into her home which was brightly decorated in all sorts of eclectic decor, a lot of it being hearts and other love motifs. "can i get you anything?" she asked. "water? tea? snacks? wine?"

"no...no. i'm good, thanks," he said, quieter than he meant to. his eyes raked over the matchmaker, finding her to be a lot younger and more spry than he imagined. mor spoke so highly of her that he thought she must be ancient, having made matches for velaris since the dawn of time. she was also quite beautiful and the way she spoke caused some odd feelings in azriel's chest that he didn't like. his shadows noticed his attraction to her too as they whipped around his chest before hiding behind him, sometimes whispering things in his ear.

"suit yourself," she joked. she sat down on a large armchair and gestured to the matching one in front of her. azriel obediently sat down and watched her moves. she pulled out a frilly notebook from a drawer along with a pen. "has mor told you anything about what i do?"

"not really," azriel admitted. "just praises your name and forces her friends to come to her." the matchmaker laughed and azriel felt incredibly proud of himself for making her laugh.

"well, i just want to know a couple things about you. nothing crazy. just your inner thoughts and desires. and i take that information and compare it to other people and see what comes from it! simple, easy, and usually pain free but i have a feeling you may be a little more introverted than most." azriel shrugged in response. "so, my first question is what are your must-haves in a relationship?"

azriel fiddled with the hem of his shirt as he thought about the question. nobody had ever asked him that before and he honestly hadn't even thought about it. "um...someone who's nice. understanding, i guess. i have a lot of responsibilities in my job so someone who doesn't mind that i'm gone a lot," he thought for a second more. "what do people usually say?"

the matchmaker thought for a moment. "well, i would say my must-haves are patience, kindness...someone who's fine with staying inside," she paused and smiled, "definitely has to own some kind of awesome ancient sword or blade that i can play with."

azriel clocked her statement as a joke but some part of him, deep down inside, wishes that he had truth-teller displayed on his chest for her to see. he was patient, he was a homebody, he was...relatively kind. oh god...what was he thinking?

"all jokes, of course. but really, it's just anything you want in a partner. maybe you want them to be strong and abrasive and can hold their own. it's all up to you, azriel."

she moved on to the next question, which he was very grateful for. this one, however, was harder than the last. "what are you looking for here? do you want me to hunt down your potential mate? do you want something fun and casual? committed? i can do it all."

azriel felt like she was stripping back his layers, one by painful one. all to find someone he can kiss. this was crazy! and he didn't even know her name. "i don't really know, honestly. i...i guess my mate but that seems hard considering it could be anyone. i don't really desire anything. mor just made me come here."

she leaned forward and her big eyes seemed to look into his heart. "i know that's not true, azriel. everyone wants something. you have this...look in your eye that tells me you really want this to work out, that you want to believe in this. you just have to be open with me, 'kay?"

azriel let out a breathy chuckle. "how can i open when i don't even know your name or anything else about you?"

she thought for a second before nodding in agreement. she laid the notebook down on the side table and leaned back. "fair, i guess. my name is y/n, i have lived in velaris all my life, i enjoy pastries, reading, and tea, i started matchmaking as a silly way to keep my friends and i entertained until it started working too much to be a coincidence. i spend all my time finding love for other people but haven't found the one for me. ironic, isn't it?" she smiled at azriel. "there. does that make you feel a bit better?" he nodded. "good. now, let me repeat my question."

azriel and y/n continued their conversation, knocking out the questions she had prepared with relative ease. he felt comfortable opening up to her and being honest about his desires for love. he was completely unused to expressing his feelings like that but it came to him easily in her presence. the way she easily leaned in, eyes focused and gaze unwavering...it did something to him.

eventually, though, the questions ended and azriel knew he had to leave her home. he stalled on the last question, having her reword it over and over even though all she had asked was what his habits at home were like.

"well, azriel, thank you for answering all my questions. from here, i will start comparing your answers to other people i've met with and i will reach out to you with your first match up. you'll tell me if you're interested and if you aren't, we'll move on to the next!"

azriel panicked internally at her words which clearly signaled the end of their conversation. he rose at the same time as her but subconsciously placed his body in front of hers so that she'd have to step around him to leave the room. "so, do i come see you again at all? or...or is this it?" he cursed himself for sounding so awkward.

she laughed. "you can if that is what you prefer. if you want to talk about your dates and how they went then i don't care to. did you enjoy this a little more than you anticipated?" she joked.

he nodded and scratched the back of his neck. crap...crap, crap! he had to do something, right? she was single, she said so. but is it wrong to ask the matchmaker on a date? after she poured so much work into finding him a match? he thought for a second, eyes trained on her. in his ears, his shadows whispered encouragingly. this is it...come on!

"is everything okay, azriel?" she asked innocently.

"so i know that this whole thing was to find me a match but i actually really enjoy your time and i think you're beautiful so would you want to go on a date with me instead of sending me on dates with people that i couldn't care less about?" his words came out at lightning speed and he was pleasantly surprised that she understood everything.

a blush came to her cheeks and it matched the pink and red hearts around the room. "seriously?" she asked. he shyly nodded. "i'd love to. tomorrow night? you come by?"

he breathed out a sigh of relief. "yes, tomorrow night. thank you."

the two of them made their way to the door.

"so, no matches at all? not even helga down the street in the butcher shop? she's been looking for someone for yearssss," she said in a sing-song voice.

"cauldron, no. i want you." he was shocked at the confidence that leaked through his words. she blushed again and rose on her toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

"i'll see you tomorrow. tell mor that my services worked, if you'd be so kind." azriel flew off then with no intentions of telling mor anything that happened.

#acotar #acotar series #acotar fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fluff #azriel fanfic #azriel imagine #azriel acotar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury

[spacebarbarianweird]

Soooo, tell me, do you think Astarion would be jealous or possessive at times? Do you think he gets nervous about losing his partner?

Oh, he would definteley be possessive! I think it would come out of fear. Like, what if Tav dumps him for someone better?

Thanks @brabblesblog and @rachelle-on-the-run for beta-reading!

Doubts

Synopsis: Astarion thinks you are going to leave him for someone better and accuses you of infidelity.

Tags: Hurt/comfort, a heated argument

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion can't process what he feels.

Anger? Disgust? Disappointment? Betrayal?

You stand in the sunlight, bathing in the warm rays. You smile, sincere and happy, while he stands in the shadows like the monster he is.

A man, a handsome half-elf, with long and dark hair practically dances around you like a bird during mating season. He openly flirts with you and you giggle at his jokes.

You don't try to shut him down. You smile. You laugh.

Astarion can't hear the conversation, but he is sure you wouldn't talk like that if you knew he was near.

If it was night, he could easily grab your hand and threaten this man with the daggers.

But he can't.

He is useless.

The only thing he can do is to watch. He sees you taking the man's hand and then hugging him. Warm and tight.

It's too much even for him. 

He dissapears into the tunnels below the city. When he returns to the camp, it's already dark and you light a fire.

"Astarion,good news", you tell him. "We - What is wrong?"

He looks up at you. The anger is replaced with poison.

"If you wanted to fuck someone else, you should have just said so," he mutters through the teeth.

"What?" 

You dare to look surprised. Sure, why not. You aren't less manipulative than him. Learned from a professional.

"Oh, stop with this innocent smile! You know what I’m talking about! I've seen you flirting with that man. Tell me - is his body warm? Does his back look new and perfect?"

"You followed me."

"Answer the damn questions, Tav!"

You stand up.

"That was my friend. I knew him ages ago! I just didn't expect to meet him all of a sudden!"

"Come on, any common fool could see you were all over each other. You want to sleep with him? Fine. At least, you could be so kind as to tell me beforehand. I think I deserve it."

"Astarion, stop."

Your soft voice annoys him even more. 

He bursts. It's like a firestorm, unstoppable and cruel. He yells at you, spitting all the most disgusting insults as if it can numb at least some of his pain.

A whore. A slut. A bitch.

He yells at the top of his lungs. And then suddenly…

A slap.

Loud and painful. His cheek burns of how hard you've slapped him. It sobers him up and Astarion stares at you in shock. He wishes he could take all the words away. To go back in time and make himself stop before spitting all this poison.

"Tav..."

"GO AWAY!" 

He has never heard you screaming like that. You hate him. And he deserves it.

"GO FUCKING AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!"

Tears stream down your face as you sit on the ground. Your body shudders.

And Astarion runs.

He disappears into the woods. In the darkness. In the cold.

The cheek still burns. You've never gotten physical with him - except for that first time when he almost drained you. Astarion sometimes remembers how you kicked him in the ribs.

But, maybe, it's all for the best? You can find a living person to spend your life with. Because what can he even offer? His nightmares? His pain? His tainted touches?

The very thought of you in someone else’s hands makes him sick. But at the same time, what did he expect after calling you all these awful names? 

He needs to disappear, forever.

But the further he goes, the worse he feels. The invisible leash tugs him back and his undead heart bleeds. 

The very idea of not seeing you, being alone, spending this condemned eternity on his own… He would prefer being flayed by a razor rather than living a day without you.

He needs to apologize. He needs to crawl back, begging for forgiveness. The same way he did when he was a slave.

Don't beat me. Don't torture me. I will do anything.

Don't leave me. Don't hurt me. I will do anything. 

As he returns to the camp, he sees you by the fire. You notice him and turn your head away.

"Please... I am sorry... I didn't mean it."

You look at him but instead of the softness he craves there is only cold. 

The only thing he desires is to hug you, to be pressed against your chest. To hear the words of love and comfort.

But there is an invisible wall between you two.

"Please… Don't leave me!" he begs. "I can't… I don't know how to live without you."

You sigh. "Astarion, I am not leaving you. But I am angry. I am angry like all the devils of Avernus."

"Then… I am sorry! I am sorry for calling you all these words, I am sorry for..."

"No, Astarion. It won't work like that. This relationship won’t work. "

Astarion is taken aback. "Then what do you want me to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything. But you need to understand that I have feelings, too."

Silence. Astarion is motionless.

"You are apologizing out of fear." you continue. "Because you’re used to expecting violence. I want you to apologize out of honesty. You hurt me. You accused me of infidelity. You called me all these slurs people used against you, perfectly knowing how much that hurts. You offended my friend, the person I grew up with, someone who I thought was dead. The person who gave me a very good contract just because I asked. For that, I need you to apologize."

You both are silent. Astarion looks somewhere in the distance. 

"Listen, Tav, you know I am like that. I can’t control it."

"You do! That's the thing. You were infantilized for two hundred years. But you are a man. You are not a boy, not a pet, not a slave. You don't need to be trained or taught. You are a man. And you must learn to be responsible for your actions. I understand why you are like that. But it doesn't mean I have to allow you to say anything you want."

The words hurt like daggers when he finally manages to say them out loud.

"I am sorry. I am sorry for thinking you could leave me. I am sorry for hurting you. My emotions took the best of me. I am afraid, I am constantly afraid. I am afraid you will leave me for what I am."

A touch. Soft and delicate. He feels like crying the moment your tender fingers caress his skin.

"And I am sorry for getting physical. I shouldn't have slapped you."

"I deserved it"

"No one deserves beatings. Especially, from their loved ones." 

You press your forehead against his. "You aren't an easy person to deal with, Astarion. But I knew it from the beginning. When you confessed to me, I had a chance to stop it. I didn't do it. Because I love you. But I am a living breathing person and if you hurt me, I bleed. "

He nods. "But if you ever want to end all this - "

"I won't"

He smiles and presses his finger against your lips. "If you ever decide it's too much, tell me. Just be honest. "

You wrap your hands around his neck and tug him close. "You know, when he hugged me, my first thought was "damn, his skin is so uncomfortably hot". And he told me we should stop it because his husband is jealous. I think they are having a very uncomfortable conversation right now."

You sit together in silence looking at the campfire. Soon, Astarion notices a stripe of light in the distance and his vampiric senses send a shiver down his spine.

You yawn.

"Let's get some rest. Astarion, I hate asking for reciprocation, but since you probably want to make amends…"

"What do you want, my sweet?"

"Can you please not leave my side while I sleep? Just be with me till I wake up."

He closes his eyes and lets out a short laugh. And this is your idea of making amends? A few hours ago he would beg you to let him touch you, let alone cuddle with you.

He cocks his head. "Only if you make amends for slapping me."

"And what do you want?"

"I want to be the little spoon."

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion romance #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion angst #astarion fanfic #astarion hurt #astarion comfort #astarion ancunin #astarion fics #astarion x f!tav #spacebarbarian fics #astarion x gn!tav #astarion x gn reader

[ash5monster01]

Cold Spring Harbor

Chapter One - She’s Got A Way 🎶

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, instant attraction, invisible string theory, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of death, coping mechanisms

Summary: Just when Steve figures he’s bound to be alone the rest of his life, somehow he finds you, and for some reason just being near you makes him feel much less alone in the world.

word count: 2k

→ Two

Masterlist

Spring 1985

She's got a way of showin', how I make her feel

Steve hated being sad. Yet for the last six months that was all he had felt. He should be over it by now. He wished he was over it, but everyday he went to school just to see Nancy with Johnathon and know everything that he lost. He had given up his friends for her, and when she gave him up for Johnathon, he had no one left. No happy family to come home to, and no friends to spend time with, especially no girlfriend to love. Maybe that was why it was so hard to get over her, because she was the only person he had left and she left him too.

So he woke up on the first day of spring break, no parents, no plans, no one at all. It didn’t matter that the first warm sun was shining through his window and the birds chirped happily outside. He figured he would always be alone and he was still just as miserable as before. The only person he did have was Dustin but how many times can you ask a middle schooler to hang out before it gets weird? Steve didn’t want to find out.

He wasn’t going to last all of spring break like this so he was going to do the only thing that made him feel better. The only thing that gave him enough motivation to get out of bed and get ready for the day. So it’s not long until he is walking out the front door and towards his car. Yet before he unlocked it he stopped, eyes glancing into the bright blue sky, and deciding against the drive. It was sunny and almost seventy, plus a walk would be good for him. So he stuffed the keys back in his pocket and started down the road.

Town was half empty once he got there, signs showing that the new mall being built was already taking away business. It was sad to see the town that once was so busy become a shell of nothing. Kind of like him he supposed. Yet the sight of the familiar blue door eased his mind as he pushed in the one place he hoped would be here forever.

“Hey man, long time no see” Ron, the owner smiles from behind the register. Steve matches the smile right back even though he doesn’t feel it. He wished he did.

“Hey Ron, how’s business been?” he asks, eyeing the various shelves throughout the room.

“I wish I could say busy, but ever since word got out that Sam Goody was being built in the mall, no one really cares about Ron’s Records anymore” he says and Steve nods, his throat tightening at the thought.

“I’m sorry about that man, you know I’ll be a customer for life” he tells him and Ron nods, smiling at the boys kindness.

“You and your Grandpa both” Ron says kindly and Steve has to look away before tears form in his eyes.

“I’m gonna check some records out” Steve tells him and Ron nods as he moves to the section he knows it will be at.

Finally reaching the B’s his fingers start skimming the records. It feels like he’s passed a hundred Barry Manilow records by the time he reaches exactly what he’s looking for. Smiling to himself he scans which ones are there, determined what would be the best to listen to. Something that for an entire forty minutes could make him feel much less lonely in this world.

“Billy Joel huh?” Steve looks up and nearly freezes. There you are, the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, and something about the world stops. He’s not one to be shy but it’s as if the words somehow can’t leave his mouth. There was just something about you. “Since when do boys your age listen to Billy Joel?”

“Hey, he’s still rock n’ roll to me” Steve defends, and it’s cheesy. He knows that, but it doesn’t stop you from laughing. You’re wearing the most perfect smile he’s ever seen and he wants to make you do it again.

“I’m not saying he isn’t, just most guys these days don’t know good music anymore” you say, pulling the record out of his hands and he almost gasps at the way your fingers feel against his.

“Well good music to me is just Billy, always has been” he says and you give him a small nod, smile still on your face. He briefly wonders what it could be about you that makes him suddenly so content.

“Cold Spring Harbor? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it” you say and Steve’s heart clenches.

“It’s his first album, he was only 22 when he wrote it. It’s one of my favorites” Steve tells you and the mischievous grin you give him makes his heart stutter in his chest.

“Well let’s listen to it” you tell him, hand grabbing his own, and leading him to the front of the building. In the front window there’s two chairs and small record player in between. They had been there for as long as Steve could remember, he had sat in them hundreds of times. He sits in his, the one chair he always sat in, and you sit, well in the other. His throat dries as he sees you sit across from him in the chair that had been empty for many years.

“What’s your favorite track?” you muse, hands delicately working to pull the record from its sleeve and place it on the player.

"The first one, She's Got A Way. It was my Grandpa's favorite, the first Billy song he ever played me" Steve says, looking off onto the rows and rows of records. Remembering a time when he was just short enough to be the same height as them. Rushing around and looking for the most colorful covers while his Grandpa went straight to the B's. Then he'd sit in the very chair he was now, ankles just barely hanging over the edge as his Grandpa played him song after song, in the very seat you were sitting in now.

"So that's where it comes from" you muse, the record spinning as you turn on the machine. Steve watches as you set the needle on the record, sratching till it finds its groove, and fills the silence between you both.

"Why is it his favorite?" you ask after a few moments, watching the boy as he let's the words sink in.

"He claimed it was the only song he ever heard that perfectly described how he felt about my Grandmother. How the right women could completley turn you around and heal you when you least expect it" Steve smiles fondly as he repeats those words he hadn't in a very long time.

"A charmer, I'm sure you are too" you say and the shocked look Steve wears has you laughing lightly. It takes Steve only a second to laugh along with you, realizing just how quickly you had revealed him. It's when your laughter calms he realizes the smile on your face has eased his heart more in the last six months than anything else.

"If you must know" Steve says and you giggle again which has Steve wanting to spend more and more time with you.

"Where is this Grandpa of yours, I have a few questions for him?" you ask and Steve freezes, not expecting the words to leave your mouth. It takes him a moment to respond and you sense the discomfort and place your hand on his own. Steve nearly jumps at the electric touch that comes from it.

"He passed away when I was fifteen, right before high school" he tells you, throat tightening around the admittance.

"I'm so sorry, that's awful" you try to comfort but Steve just smiles.

"You would have loved him though. Everyone did. He was my best friend, the only family I really had that spent time with me. Since my Grandma passed when I was ten, me and him made sure to spend all of middle school together" Steve isn't entirely sure why he is telling you this, he just knows your the first person he has been this comfortable around since his Grandpa and he didn't even know your name yet. He didn’t know what it was about you but he figured there didn't need to be a reason.

"That's so sweet, he sounds so special" you tell him and Steve nods, recalling memories he hadn't allowed himself to think about for years.

"He was, just wish he was still around. He was the only person to ever be there for me, front row at every swim meet and basketball game. Was hard going through highschool knowing he was no longer in the stands, but Billy. Well that's all me and him ever talked about. So sometimes, on days like today when I miss him a little extra, I find him in the lyrics of a song" and your heart soars for the boy in front of you. A boy with a deep sadness buried within him. A boy the world hadn't given a chance yet.

"Is he there right now?" you can't help but ask, the last few lines of the song coming through the speakers on the machine. Steve listens, can practically see his Grandpa yelling at him for not making a move. ‘At least ask her name’ he groans and Steve chuckles lightly to himself.

"Yeah he's here. He always is" Steve says and you give him a smile that somehow heals him. "I'm Steve by the way"

"Nice to meet you Steve" you tell him before offering your own name and Steve finds it rattling through his head, the most beautiful name in all of existence, and somehow it belongs to you. The very girl who showed up while he was feeling down and has inspired him without a sound. The beginning notes of You Can Make Me Free fill the silence between you both and Steve sits up, realizing your hand is still atop his own.

"Sorry for spilling my guts" Steve says and you shake your head, wanting him to know that he had done nothing wrong this entire time.

"Don't be, it actually happens a lot. I seem to make people very comfortable. Guess I just got a way about me" and Steve agrees because somehow in just this short exchange you have inspired him to keep on going, reminded him that this is not the end and it won't be all bad. It is like you have some bright light around you and it gives him the strength to keep going.

"Would you maybe want to go get something to eat?" Steve finds the confidence to ask and you beam a smile brightly back at him.

"I'd love to Steve" you tell him, using his name like it now somehow belongs to you and Steve wishes it does. A million dreams of love surrounding you and for the first time since Nancy he finds himself feeling something for a girl he never thought he'd feel again. He just knows he no longer wants to live without you.

"Have fun you two" Ron calls out as you both exit, the record still playing as you both leave it behind. You talk the whole way to the small diner in town, Steve just smiles and listens, loving how everything sounds the way it comes out your mouth. It's as if every word lifts him up as you are walking.

For the rest of the day Steve does his part getting to know you. Making you laugh and flirting where necessary which never fails to make you blush. The sight of your red cheeks alone make his heart soar for you. It's cute the way you show it, exactly how you feel about him. In return you do find yourself charmed by the very boy you couldn’t resist talking to. You wondered where a sweet boy like him had been your whole life and for the first time you aren't as embarassed by the blush on your cheeks as you normally would be.

"I really like you Rosy" he says matter of fact, the nickname falling easily from his lips. You blush at his words again, shaking your head at the boy you figure you aren't getting rid of anytime soon.

"I like you too Steve"

Taglist: @slvtforstve @keerygal @goosy-goose @livsters @blckburd @loveshotzz @ohwauwdoritos @superblysubpar @southereads @amataadriana @violet2022 @mxrcjqckspnchqsc @madaboutjoe @thunderstomp-and-tequila @justdamnpeachy @micheledawn1975 @fangfatale @kingstevesgf @notlilyyyy @eddiesguitarskills @palmtreesx3

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

#steve harrington series #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington #steve stranger things #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x y/n fluff #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x femreader #joe keery fanfiction #joe keery fic #joe keery steve harrington #joe keery x reader #joe keery imagines #joe keery stranger things #joe keery imagine #joe keery #joe keery series #joe keery smut #stranger things s5 #stranger things imagine #billy joel

[ficnation]

Chapter 4: Bon Appétit

Series: “Eat Your Heart Out” Pairing: Hannibal Lecter x Female! Reader x Will Graham Word count: 4,6k+ Warnings: canon-typical warnings, 18+, SMUT A/n: I'm really putting off the inevitable here sksksksk. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts <3 Btw this is my first time writing explicit smut (unedited)

This is also another late piece to @the-slumberparty Bingo Card event (prompt: proposal) - > Events Masterlist

Main Masterlist || Hannibal Masterlist

PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

When Will comes home that night after promising you he’ll only be gone for a few hours, he’s doing anything in his power not to look you in the eyes. He kept his word, coming back exactly three hours and twenty-six minutes later. You stare at him, intrigued. You don’t understand why he’s acting this way, but your mind screams at you that it can’t be anything good—it’s right, like always.

“I resumed my therapy with Doctor Hannibal Lecter,” he informs you after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. He still doesn’t look at you, as he takes off his jacket and boots.

“You did what?” You blink at him in confusion—utterly dumbfounded. The meaning of his words doesn’t even register in your brain. 

“I’m going to keep on seeing Hannibal,” Will repeats in the same monotonous voice.

It hits you like a train, and your stomach churns at the thought of them sitting across from each other, talking about emotions and Will’s life. Your expression turns to one of disapproval as the man expected.

“After everything he’s done, after everything he put you through, why would you do that?”

Will doesn’t respond right away, and you can tell he’s struggling with his words. “There are things I need to learn about myself,” he says finally. “About what it’s like to be me.”

You stare at him, burning invisible holes in his head, trying to decipher what is truly happening here. The guilt that emanates from his person, the fact that he still can’t meet your gaze—it’s more than suspicious. The realization hits you even harder than the fact he wants to be anywhere near Hannibal Lecter.

“Why are you lying to me?” you ask, voice on the verge of breaking. You hate yourself for ever thinking that he trusts you completely after all those years apart. The tears gathering in your eyes are more angry than sorrowful.

For a moment, Will goes silent. The silence is thick, full of tension as the two of you remain in your positions—you watching him, and him with his back turned to you.

Then, he closes his eyes tightly, as if fighting against a headache. He finally speaks, but only after turning slowly to face you. You immediately notice the pained expression on his face, the guilt that drips from his very skin.

“I have to keep seeing him.”

You go to protest again, but the sound of your voice cracks, and no words emerge. Will doesn’t wish to ever hear this noise from you again. It feels criminal—being the one who caused it. His heart breaks in a way it never did before—it stings like someone delivered it one thousand cuts.

You both remain silent for what feels like an eternity. Will doesn’t look away from you, and your eyes are locked on him, on that misery and pain staring right at you. No one moves, no one blinks, no one probably even breathes. Everything is still, except for your heart which aches even worse than it did before. The silence gets so thick you can almost feel it—touch it. For the life of you, you don’t want to be the one to break it.

You want to speak, beg, convince him to stop these mind games, to give you an explanation you could understand. But you choose to keep your mouth shut, slumping further into the cushions of the armchair. 

Will’s eyes don’t leave you. They remain fixed on you as if willing you to speak, to tell him something that would make all of this suddenly go away. Anything.

He wants you to read his mind, and understand his pleas, but you can’t— and even if you could, you wouldn’t. You don’t do anything, don’t even move a muscle and after a few moments of waiting, Will finally breaks the silence.

“I don’t want him to do this to anyone else,” he says. His words are soft and quiet, but they carry a weight that you feel in your chest.

“Yet you didn’t start with that. You chose to lie.” 

Will sighs. He looks exhausted as if you’ve been here asking him questions for hours, even though it’s been twenty minutes at most.

“I didn’t want you to stop me. There, I said it,” he says. “It was hard. Harder than anything I’ve ever done. Can you just cut me some slack over here?”

You don’t answer right away. You don’t know what to think or what to say about this whole situation. It seems absurd, and you have to remind yourself that you might’ve paused your story with Will Graham, but for him time has passed, things have changed.

You’re not proud of the words that leave you next. God, you wish you could just catch them in the air before they have a chance to reach his ears and put them back in your mouth.

“Change your fucking tone, Will.”

You’re shocked with your own words, but Will doesn’t seem annoyed or offended, not like most people would. He’s still staring at you, but you notice the slightest hint of amusement in his expression as if this new side of you intrigued him rather than annoyed him.

“You don’t like me speaking to you like that, my dear?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. He makes no attempts to sound serious—just enough to make you laugh, but his words carry weight. He’s genuinely curious.

Will Graham just called you “my dear” and your whole face warms up at this term of endearment as you observe him fall to one knee in front of your person.

“What are you doing?” you choke out, confused, butterflies fluttering wildly in your chest.

Will takes his time to reply, his eyes scanning you and your reactions. He seems to enjoy the sight of you flustered, barely keeping up with what’s happening right in front of your face. His heart skips a beat more than twice in the span of a few seconds.

“I’m proposing.”

The words seem so absurd that you half expect him to break the tension with a quick joke, but he doesn’t. His gaze is glued to you, his words as serious as they can be. You don’t know what to say, don’t know how to react. Your mind is frozen.

“What the fuck, Will?”

Will grins at that and shakes his head as if he’d expected your reaction to be no different. He keeps his stance, one knee on the floor, as he stares at you affectionately—with so much love you’re surprised he doesn’t explode from it. The man is enjoying your confusion and the fact that he managed to pull it out of you. He’s not ashamed to admit it, either.

“That’s the kind of reaction I was hoping for,” he says quietly and in a matter of time, his hand is on your thigh, tracing invisible circles on the soft fabric of your pajama pants. “You were always going to say no for the first time.”

You blink at him, trying to coax out words from within you, but you don’t find any. That only makes you even more confused, and your expression turns to a frown. Is he really… asking you to marry him?

“I know, I’m quite the romantic.” He pauses, trying to stifle his chuckle. “Do you want me to ask you the usual way?”

“Will, are you serious?” you ask, your voice so gentle the words barely sound like they’re yours. Will only nods his head. “I don’t want you to ask at all. I want us to get married as soon as possible.”

He reaches down to grab your hands in his. “I never believed in marriage. I’m not sure if I do now either,” he admits awkwardly, playing with your fingers. “But I really want to hear people call you Mrs. Graham.”

Your heart jumps as he speaks as if you’d been waiting for him to admit those words for years. The words sink in slowly and your eyes become distant, as if you’d been taken back in time. A warm feeling spreads across your chest like you just swallowed a whole bottle of wine in one ginormous gulp.

“You know I can’t say no.” Your words are quiet and soft. He pulls you down onto his lap, his hands still around your fingers as he brings them to his chest. “Can I call you mine too?” 

“Always,” Will replies, his voice low and quiet, but full of love and emotion. “It’s been you all along.”

A soft smile rests on your face as you look down at him. Your head is right above his, but you decide to close the tiny distance between you by leaning forward and pressing your lips against his. You feel your heart race as you do so.

“Did you come up with this to distract me?” Your voice is playful, but the air around you is thick and humid. 

Will leans forward and wraps his arms snugly around your waist, hugging you tight. Your fingers play with his curls, his head back on your chest. The whole weight of him hangs onto you like all the sins in the world, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Maybe,” he replies, a smile tugging at his lips, even though he seems serious.

You can feel his body shift, and suddenly Will presses you firmly against the growing hardness inside his jeans. The whimper that pushes past your lips as you feel it through the thin layer of your pajama pants is downright desperate. You both can’t hide the fact that your breaths are becoming more irregular, muscles tensing under each other’s hands.

“I like being distracted like this,” you whisper, your nose nuzzling against his temple. 

A low growl comes from the man’s chest. You’re close enough to the source of the sound to feel the vibration against your body. He presses his face to your neck, taking in the scent of your skin like he’s oxygen-deprived.

“Should I distract you too, Will?” you ask him quietly, tugging at his tousled hair.

“You’ve done enough, dear. I’m already distracted.” His voice is soft, and his words catch in his throat. Will doesn’t seem to have a single rational thought going through his head. It’s like all he can process is his need for you, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say this was a spell cast on him. “I want you.” His hand moves to your hip, and he presses into you harder, your breath catching in your throat. “Please.”

And who are you to deny him of anything his soul could ever want or need? You don’t wait for more encouragement as your fingers start working on hastily unbuttoning his shirt. They trace the smooth lines of his chest, the scars that mark his skin, and every little detail of him—every part of his history that he once saw as a defect. It’s not. It’s who he is, who he’s always been—his past is a part of what made him the Will you know and love. 

Your fingers slowly make their way down to his belt and unclasp it too in one go. You graze over his hardness on accident, already feeling its heat through the thin layer. You let out a whimper and your whole brain starts to short-circuit. 

“Slowly.” Will’s voice is hoarse and raw, his fingers digging deeply into the skin of your hip. “I want to see you.”

The man doesn’t waste any time in waiting for your reaction as his hand moves up to your face. His touch is gentle as it pushes back your hair, his fingertips rubbing against the skin behind your ear before they start pursuing the shape of your neck—every muscle and tendon.

“Slowly,” he repeats, and you can’t help but groan.

Nevertheless, you obey, letting your hands explore every surface of his flesh again like he’s the perfect puzzle that you need to solve. His own mirror yours, sliding below the thin layer of your t-shirt, grazing over your navel, and pushing upwards.

Every move you make leaves its mark, causing his body to tremble even more. His breath becomes so uneven, you think he might fall apart at any moment. The mere sound sends shivers down your spine.

“Yes, like that,” he mumbles, and his lips are right next to your ear as he whispers these words. His hand moves again and starts to tug at your shirt.

You help him remove it in one go, left in only your plaid pajama bottoms. Will’s touch is familiar, one you could never forget—not like the dozen strangers through the past few years, you never even remembered their faces come tomorrow morning. But his touch sets you ablaze—burns and soothes at the same time, it’s unforgettable.

Will reaches up to pull your head against his so that you’re staring straight at one another. His touch is gentle, but there’s an intensity to it that you can’t mistake. His lips slowly approach yours with such an intense need that you can read it in his gaze. Even though he doesn’t say it, you feel that this kiss is more than just desire—it’s a need to be as close to you as possible, to never let you go again. His tongue delves inside your mouth, and you sigh into it.

The feeling of your skin pressed against his leaves Will desperate, his mind so overwhelmed and in a haze, he can’t even form the words to describe the sensation. His hand keeps moving as if your flesh were an addiction. The sound that leaves from his throat is something so close to a purr—he’s almost embarrassed. 

You feel his body tensing, his muscles flexing against yours, and your skin feels hot and all too sensitive. He’s taking advantage of this moment to touch you anywhere he can reach. His fingers leave no inch of your skin unexplored as he slowly begins to lower your pajama bottoms.

“God, you’re beautiful.” The sound of your voice draws Will’s eyes closed as he inhales deeply.

Will’s fingers glide down toward your legs, and he looks as if all his dreams are coming true at once. You see his eyes flicker open, and he looks at you with such intensity, such concentration, that it’s hard to breathe as you’re pulled along by an invisible force. He finally lets go of your chin so that he can drag your pajamas down further until they’re thrown across the room. 

You take his hands in yours, placing them over your breasts. And it’s only when his teeth drag across your neck, from just above your collarbone down to the crook of your shoulder, that he loses it completely. 

There’s no being slow or gentle when he pushes you away, standing up and pulling you to your feet. You take hurried steps back as he nudges you toward the bed. Soon enough, your calves hit the mattress and you fall back onto the blue duvet. You don’t even have a chance to take a breath, Will is hovering over you, elbows on each side of your head. 

“You’re gorgeous,” he mumbles, looking deep into your eyes—so deep you’re afraid he can see the broken soul behind them. 

You help him push his jeans and boxers down the length of his legs. The second they’re no longer an obstacle, Will’s fingers delve between your thighs, circling your clit teasingly with the gentlest of touches. Your lips part in a gasp, hands falling onto the covers to clench them in your fists.

“Will, please,” you plead between whimpers. He was the only one who could ever bring you to the point of begging, and you hope he knows it somewhere deep within. 

The man faces you with glassy eyes, swiping the tip of his tongue over his bottom lips. He doesn’t need you to say anything more, he just nods feverishly and lets your fingers guide him inside. The sensation of your heat gripping him tightly makes him groan, lips falling agape. You wrap your legs around his hips, crossing them behind his back, and pull him even closer. 

“Will,” you moan his name against his lips.

It spurs him on, makes him even more eager to please you. He draws back almost completely, then buries himself inside you again in one smooth motion. Your thighs tremble visibly, and it almost makes him smile. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him deeply, fingers tugging on his curls. 

Will rocks into you deep and steady, one of his hands digging into the meat of your thigh with so much force it hurts—but goddamn, you love this kind of pain. And he makes it feel even more heavenly when his thumb begins to trace circles over your clit.

It doesn’t take him long to take you over the edge—hard and fast—turning you into a mindless, hot, whimpering mess. You mumble his name over and over again as your heat pulses around his length, making him come just a few moments after you. He claims your mouth with his, making you taste your name on his lips. God, does it taste heavenly.

Night came quicker than you realized, covering the sky with bright stars and a full moon. Despite it, it’s not pitch black outside. The shimmering snow reflects the shining lights, fighting off the darkness well enough. It doesn’t make you feel any less threatened, even though it should.

You’re wrapped only in the blue duvet that covered the bed, as you lie on your side, facing Will, who’s already asleep. His bare thigh is right against yours, and the heat of his skin is almost impossible to resist. You let your eyes wander across his body, his physique—he looks like a sculpture, a masterpiece of flesh and bone.

Your body still aches from his touch, and you feel like you’re a puddle of emotions with the sole mission of holding love, affection, and desire for him. You’re about as far away from being “fine” as possible. You didn’t even get a chance to tell him you’ll be working together from now on. He doesn’t know he’s allowed back in BAU, and you wonder if you should leave him unknowing for as long as possible. It’s not your greatest idea, but the idea of him breaking beyond repair terrifies you.

You try to calm your heart as it races and skips a beat every time his body shifts—the smallest movement seems like it could wake him up. But as you lie there in the darkness, his hand reaches out and finds its rightful place on your thigh again, his fingers barely grazing your skin. The sensation makes you almost jump out of your skin, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Why are you awake?” he asks with half-closed eyes.

“Can’t sleep,” you reply softly, wanting to touch him back, but not sure if you should.

“I figured,” he murmurs. “You didn’t sleep much yesterday either.”

You sigh sadly, you didn’t think he’d noticed. His hand moves up your thigh, almost instinctively, until it touches you just below your hip. It stops there, and your eyelashes flutter at its warmth against your skin.

“You can touch me.” Will’s voice is so quiet it’s almost inaudible, and you don’t have to be told twice.

Your fingers slip under the duvet, so the fabric doesn’t block your touch, and you begin to trace the outline of his leg with the tips of your fingers. Will’s eyes finally open, and he looks almost nervous at the intimate touch—until you find the spot where he’s ticklish. He lets out an adorable whimper, so naturally, you laugh and keep going.

“No, no, please stop,” Will moans, trying to fight back his chuckles, squirming as he tries to get away from your touch. The whole time he’s half-smiling, his fingers digging into the duvet for stability. He tries to grab your hands, but it only makes you laugh harder. 

You find another ticklish spot on the side of his torso and continue to tease him. Eventually, your cheeks hurt from smiling so much as you watch Will scoot back, out of your reach. Your sour mood from before is gone in an instant.

Will moves up so that he’s sitting up against the wall, practically on the edge of the bed, and he looks almost offended by your reaction. Your gaze shifts, so you can get a fuller view of him.

“I’m not as ticklish as you think,” he says, his tone serious, though you can still hear a tremble in his voice. “If you wanted to see me squirm,” he adds, “you could’ve found a different method.”

The words send a shiver down your spine, and you immediately pull the sheets up to cover the bottom part of your face, trying to hide your flustered reaction from his eyes. 

“You’re so cute,” he says, his voice just a whisper, almost as if he was afraid that anything above a murmur could wake the dogs sleeping by the fireplace. “So adorable.”

Will’s hand rests on your head, his fingers playing with the strands of hair that cover your ears. You can feel him studying you—how your nose twitches and your eyes almost close as you wait for his next words. Something about it feels intimate as if he’s taking in every detail of your expression one by one. It’s been a while since he’s done that, you didn’t even realize how much you missed it.

“You can pull it down, you know,” he says playfully, his hand still in your hair. “This must be suffocating.”

“I know,” you say quietly, as you pull the sheets down from your face.

Will’s fingers interlace with yours, and you can feel his thumb circling your wrist. 

“And yes, it is a bit suffocating.” You pull the sheets down to your collarbones, and a chill runs through your body as the cold air touches your arms. “Maybe you can warm me up.” 

Will smiles—a small, sweet smile, with a bit of mischief thrown in.  “Maybe I can,” his tone is playful as he pulls you close, your cheek finding a home on his chest, right above his heart.

After a few long minutes of silence and listening to the steady drum of his heartbeat, you turn to face him, resting your chin above his pec.

“We’re back on the team, you know?” you mumble almost mindlessly.

Will looks down at you, his expression gentle as he caresses your hair. 

“I know.”

His gaze trails down your face and lingers on your lips for a brief moment before it shifts again. There are so many things Will wants to say, but he can’t bring himself to do it—he fears it would ruin these quiet, peaceful moments between you two.

You don’t question how he already knows that, choosing instead to voice your other thoughts—ones that’ve been on your mind almost the whole day. “What did Alana want from you?”

Will’s hand pauses against your face when you bring up her name, and for a moment he seems speechless, which is rare a thing for him.

“I…” He trails off but then speaks again as if he’s found the courage to say the words. “Alana wants me to stay away from Hannibal,” he says quietly, his fingers moving on your cheeks, your brows, your chin, as if his hand isn’t allowed to stay still for a second without touching the flesh it can. “She’s sleeping with him.”

“Why does she want you to stay away?”

“Because I tried to kill him.”

You don’t even blink at his confession, there’s no fear in your gaze—no ounce of surprise. There was a time in your life when this revelation would’ve shocked you, broken you in half, but after your father’s death, when you’re faced with it, it’s… easy to handle. Will expected this kind of indifference, he knew you well enough to know you wouldn’t judge nor be afraid.

“How?”

Will lets your question hang in the air for a long minute before he speaks. He takes a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Not by my hand—not like that,” he starts. “Hannibal has a lot of… a lot of hold over me,” he pauses again, “he made me want to do it.” It’s probably the most vulnerable, the most genuine explanation Will has given anyone. He’s speaking to you from the heart and in pure honesty. “An opportunity fell on my lap to send someone after him, so I took it.”

You nod your head in acknowledgment—it makes sense to you. “It’s a shame it didn’t work out.”

A hint of a smile appears on Will’s face. He moves his fingers to the nape of your neck and to caress the lines of your ear—it’s something he always used to do when he was thinking and you were nearby. “Alana’s very upset with me.”

Will’s other hand slides over your thigh, his fingers teasing the skin, almost as if he was trying to test it, like a cat with a piece of string. He’s still thinking when his hand starts to move upwards, closer to your hip.

“Don’t take it to heart,” you advise him, leaving a soothing peck on his jaw. It was the best you could do.

“I’m trying.” He laughs in a low rumble, his hand moving between your legs and your whole body tenses. “I’m trying,” he says again.

The touch is so soft and gentle—almost teasing, yet your body seems to be craving it. It makes him nervous, but also excited, and when he closes his eyes his head just falls back to rest against the wall, his teeth showing as he breathes in deeply.

“Would you have done this if I…” his words trail off into silence as the man doesn’t seem certain about how to finish his sentence. He looks at you, his face revealing all the questions that he doesn’t dare to ask.

You grasp his jaw between your hands, encouraging him to speak his mind, but being unconditionally patient at the same time. He tries to say something again, then changes his mind. It’s as if he’s playing a constant game with you, trying to reach into your mind without opening his mouth like most people do.

“If you…”

“If I was still the same,” he mumbles out finally.

“Will, you are still the same person. Perhaps a little more broken than before, but it’s still you.”

Will stays silent and still for a minute with his eyes closed, his hand still between your legs. The tips of his fingers keep barely touching you, almost a caress, although a bit harsher than before.  His lids flutter open, so you can see his face as it’s lit by the moonlight.

“There’s something I’d like you to promise,” he says cautiously as if every word is carefully thought out before he speaks it aloud. “Promise me that you’ll keep trusting in me... even if you don’t understand.” 

Will’s hand moves up from between your legs so that he can touch your waist and hold you in place. The fingers of his other hand stroke your face down to the side of your neck, and you can feel how your heart starts to beat faster and faster with each touch.

“I will always trust you, Will. Just never lie to me again, have a little faith in me too.”

Will lets his eyes fall down to your lips again, and he can’t help but bite his own in response. As if he was trying to hold himself together but the urge to kiss you was almost too strong, the way his gaze kept shifting. 

When his lips touch yours—it’s a long, slow kiss, deep and gentle at the same time. He holds you in place, your hips pressed against his as if he doesn’t want you to move, even a centimeter. And you don’t dream of being anywhere else but here—by his side.

“I love you, Will.”

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