#ten episodes of office romance were like

[imagines--galore]

||Mind Over Matter|| Part Thirteen

Summary: Evelyn is Penelope Garcia’s protégé. She is a tech wiz, and knows her way around any kind of security and just like her mentor knows  how to dig deep and get into the past of anyone and has a knack for   anything with a chip in it. Including potato chips. The one thing she fails at is figuring out is the mind and how it works.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Evelyn Richardson(OC)

Rating || Genres || Warnings: T+ Romance. Adventure. Family. Some language, blood and violence in later installments.

Previously - Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve

A/N: Well what do you know! Heres another chapter. Random moments happening in between episode really. And please lemme know what you think! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Takes place during Season 2 Episodes 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 & 8

A low humming sound filled the air as Evelyn put away the last of her files, having gone through them already. They were the files for the Team's most recent case. And Evelyn was of course, in charge of putting them away. One of her minor duties as part of the BAU Team along with being assistant techie. A position that hadn't been randomly made up by her mentor. Stepping out of the room and locking the door behind her, she very nearly bumped into the figure that was rushing by. Rather she did bump into them and instantly started to apologize.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see where I was-"

"Evelyn? What're you doing down here?" The red head blinked, finally catching on who she'd bumped into.

"Spencer?" Her instant reaction was curiosity as she stared at her team member, trying to figure out what was new with him. Spencer stared back at her quizzically and questioningly, raising an eyebrow at her. Realization dawned and the red head grinned.

"You got a hair cut!" Instantly his hand went up to run his fingers through his hair, a nervous habit, Evelyn had noted long ago. "Yeah, I figured it was time to get a new look." The genius replied with a shrug. "So what're you doing here?" He asked, coming back to his previous question.

"I had to box away a few files." She responded with a small smile. "It is part of my job to clean after you guys." She added with a teasing tone, prompting him to smile back at her. Blue eyes flickered to his newly cut hair.

And unable to resist Evelyn reached out to gently run her fingers through the ends of his hair, having pushed herself up to the toes of her shoes so she could reach easily. The position pressed her a little close to him, but neither of them seemed to notice as she smiled at him. "I like it. You look cute."

Cute.

She'd just called him cute!

As if the realization of her words just hit her, Evelyn stepped back, cheeks flushing, a nervous smile playing at her lips as she avoided Spencer's gaze who only looked back at her which she found more cuter then his haircut. Like that of a confused puppy. The red head however did make the mistake of looking at him, and instantly regretted it as her heart sped up and her voice reached new levels of high pitch as she quickly managed to squeak out a goodbye before dashing past him, leaving a slightly confused Spencer, who was confused by her behavior to say the least, yet none the less pleased at her words.

Evelyn for her part avoided Spencer for the entire day.

Of course they were both back to discussing(arguing) over a new theory the very next day.

Though Evelyn still felt that strange warmth in her cheeks any time their eyes would accidentally meet and she would be reminded of the little run in a few days ago.

So embarrassing!

                                              ————————–

JJ traced the tip of her finger along the rim of her coffee mug. She was sitting on a stool in a little café a few miles from the office and was waiting for Evelyn to show up. Said red head was making her way towards her friend, holding her own coffee mug and setting it on the small table between them, before hoping onto the stool as well. Outside rain splattered against the glass window of the café, the coldness of it seeping through the window, one that both women felt, yet neither minded. They had their coffees to help keep them warm.

"So how did the assignment go?" JJ asked, once she'd taken a small sip of her beverage.

Evelyn gave a small nod. "It went well. And that is all I can tell you." She said with a slightly pointed look to which JJ chuckled.

"Right! Top secret, I know." The red head gave a low chuckle, before taking a sip of her own drink, frowning as the steam from the coffee fogged up her glasses. Handing her friend a tissue with a smile of sympathy she watched as she wiped the glasses clean.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" JJ asked. Evelyn sighed before reaching into her bag and pulling out a magazine from her bag and placing it in front of the blonde. JJ pulled the magazine closer, frowning at the bold title that greeted her in big bold letters.

NEW YORK SOCIALITE EXPECTING.

"After five years of marriage." JJ glanced up at the red head sitting across from her, who had her lips pursed as she stared at the image of the smiling woman on the cover. Along with a man, who was obviously her husband, going by the way they had their arms wrapped around each other. JJ bit her bottom lip before she sighed and reached out to lay a hand atop Evelyn's in a gentle grip.

"I've tried everything I could JJ. But she still refuses to listen to me. Even Gideon has tried to help but she's just so stubborn." Evelyn sounded almost heartbroken as she spoke, finally raising her eyes to meet JJ's gaze.

"I don't know what I did to her JJ, but I wish there was some way I could find out." Her friend sighed.

"I know you're trying Evelyn, but sometimes one person's effort isn't enough. The other party has to put in some effort as well." The younger woman sighed before nodding. "I know, but I was just hoping if I did my best it would get something out of her."

Her gaze, which she now focused on JJ was desperate and hopeless. "Why are people so hard to figure out JJ?" The other woman sighed and shook her head, squeezing the hand she held.

"It's a good thing that we have the BAU then isn't it?" The small joke prompted a smile out of Evelyn. "I wish I could ask their help but I don't want this turning into a professional thing. Its why I've only ever talked to Gideon about it. Penelope doesn't know either, and she's my mentor."

JJ frowned. "Then why tell me?" Blue eyes blinked as they caught JJ's. "Because you asked." The response had a wry smile pulling at JJ's lips, which had Evelyn smiling back and shaking her head.

"I don't know JJ. I'm still surprised I even told you about all of it. But I'm glad I did. It doesn't seem as much of a burden as it did before." JJ smiled at the response. "And I will gladly help wherever and whenever I can."

The smile she was given, sent a surge of affection and protectiveness through the older woman. She understood what Morgan had meant when she spoke to him about Evelyn. There was something so….pure about the red head that a person wanted nothing more then to protect her. Or as Penelope said, wrap her up in a bubble sheet and store her away someplace safe.

"Now! On to other topics, is there anyone you're seeing these days?" The groan of dismal she was rewarded prompted her to laugh loudly, one which Evelyn joined in soon after.

                                              ————————–

Morgan suddenly slammed his file shut a thought occurring to him. The motion caused Penelope to look away from her screen and frown at him. "What?" The blonde asked. Though he turned his head towards her, his eyes were still trained towards the floor, though they were unseeing.

"Have you ever realized that Reid and Evelyn have the same glass frames?" Penelope looked taken aback at the question. She opened her mouth to say something but then closed it as Morgan finally met her gaze and raised an eyebrow as if questioning her.

"Coincidence?" The blonde suggested, looking and feeling uncertain.

"More like unconscious retention?" The confused look had him explaining further. "Basically he picked them out unconsciously because he's seen Evelyn wear them all the time." Penelope frowned. "He sees me wearing glasses all the time." Her hand raised to touch the side of her own glasses which were a bright orange that day. Morgan nodded.

"Yeah, but you change them all the time. Evelyn never did." Penelope sighed before shrugging and turning back to her computers.

"Unconscious retention it is then." She muttered under her breath before starting to type away on her keyboard. Morgan went back to his own files, pushing the observation to the back of his head.

                                              ————————–

Cupping her hands around the paper cup she watched it scrunch between her fingers. It was more out of worry and sadness then anything else.

"I take it you heard." Evelyn glanced up just in time to see Gideon take Spencer's unaccompanied desk chair and turn it towards her. The red head shrugged.

"More like saw." Both their gaze turned towards the desk that had been previously taken by Elle. It was completely clear now.

"Its for the best." Evelyn's gaze snapped to look at Gideon. "She knew she couldn't handle the pressure any longer." She only nodded in agreement her face grim.

"Still, doesn't make it any easier does it?" Her superior shook his head at her question.

"Leaving is never easy. Neither is letting go." At that he gave her a slightly pointed look which she countered with a sad smile.

"No. Its never easy."

                                              ————————–

Hotch glanced up from where he had been signing up the last of his papers to see his wife enter the bullpen. Pushing Jack's pram in front of her. He frowned. Hailey was meant to take Jack to her mother's for the night so that the two of them could go on a date. Quickly standing up he met his wife midway as she walked to his office. "Hailey? Is everything alright?" He asked, once he'd greeted her hello and smiled at his son who made delighted sounds at the sight of his father.

His wife nodded. "Yes, only my mom won't be able to look after Jack for the night. She has a cold, and Jack might catch it." Hotch sighed at the news, looking disappointed. "Great, now what?" He grumbled to which his wife shrugged helplessly. "I called the babysitter, but she's out too." The night was getting better and better with each second.

"Agent Hotch! I managed to scrounge up those reports you asked for. Who in their right mind would file them under X instead of Y when clearly it's a Z and-oh hello Mrs Hotchner! I didn't see you there! Is everything alright?" The woman only ever came when there was something going on, and for a minute Evelyn's heart stopped out of terror. But then restarted once the older woman smiled at her.

"Everything is fine Evelyn. Aaron and I just hit a bit of a snag, since we can't go on our date." The red head frowned, even as Hotch pursed his lips, thinking of the reservations that he would have to cancel.

"Oh? Why is that?" Seemingly catching sight of Jack the red head was quick to move forward and wave at the baby, who seemed fixated on Evelyn's hair. "No babysitter." At the answer Evelyn shrugged.

"I can look after him for a few hours. I used to babysit around the neighborhood when I was a teen."

And that was how Evelyn found herself holding a baby in one arm, the other holding up two baby bags. She turned her head to look at Jack who was looking right back with a fistful of her hair in his chubby fingers.

"That went well didn't it?" The baby only responded with a giggle before proceeding to pull at her hair, making her wince.

                                              ————————–

For once the Team had the chance to eat together in their little conference room. Chinese take out boxes were set atop the table while they all assembled chairs around it. "I love take out with you guys. Its always so much fun." Penelope said with a grin as she settled into her chair and reached for her box.

"Hey, where're the other three?" Morgan asked, glancing up from his box of chicken. Spencer shrugged through his mouthful of rice. JJ answered for him.

"Gideon had someplace to go, Hotch had a dinner date with Hailey, and Evelyn is-"

"And this is where your Daddy and the rest of the Team are briefed about the cases." The four of them stared as Evelyn entered the room with an inquisitive baby Jack, staring around with wide eyes. The woman holding him looked as if she'd been through some kind of storm that had knocked her glasses askew and her hair to be completely frizzy and her pony tail lopsided and barely holding up.

"Look Jack! Dinner! Excellent! Because I am starving!" So saying she dropped into a chair, and started to drop the two baby bags that were weighing her down onto the floor.

"Jesus! How much stuff does one baby need?" She grumbled to herself as she held Jack around the waist, having set him down on her thigh. The baby had his head turned to look up at her. Evelyn met his gaze and the two had an intense stare down. Which was broken when Evelyn made a face and the baby giggled loudly.

Morgan smirked. "Pint-size? Mind explaining what you're doing with Hotch's kid?" He asked the question that was on everyone's mind. Evelyn grunted as she picked up one of the bags and placed it on the table, doing her best to use only one hand while her other was occupied with keeping Jack secure.

"Babysitting Morgan. Something I happen to be good at. And Spencer? Help a girl out. I can't make his formula without some help." She'd already taken out the thermos with the water and the bottle which already had the formula in it. Jack was starting to fuss so she quickly stood up and cradling the baby to her chest starting to walk around while bouncing him a little. Spencer quickly stood up to do Evelyn's bidding, pouring the water into the bottle. JJ met Penelope's gaze and the two of them smiled at the sight of Spencer standing in front of Evelyn with the bottle in hand. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Did you check the temperature of the bottle?" Spencer frowned. "No." The two of them were oblivious to the other three members of their team looking at them.

Evelyn sighed. "All those random facts and you didn't read about babies? Honestly Spence, what're you going to do when a case calls for a random baby fact?" She asked, her tone dry, wincing slightly as Jack pulled at her hair yet again.

"Just squeeze a bit out on your arm. If it burns, obviously we wouldn't give it to him." Rolling his eyes Spencer sighed before moving to unbutton his cuff and pulling up the sleeve. A few seconds later, little Jack was greedily drinking from his bottle while Evelyn cradled him, slowly walking around.

"Why don't you sit down honey?" Penelope said, pulling a chair next to her, if only to coo at the baby. Evelyn shook her head. "Can't. Hailey said he likes to drink while walking around."

"So much fuss over a baby." Spencer grumbled as he munched on a piece of carrot, prompting Evelyn to glare at him. "Oh, and aren't you particular about your eating habits Dr. Reid." She only ever called him that when she was especially ticked off. And Morgan had to say, seeing Evelyn jump to defend Jack was hilarious. Especially when Spencer pursed his lips in response, licking them before speaking.

"Aren't you?" The words had the red head glaring at him even more. "I'm not the one calling a baby out on his eating habits." Morgan laughed loudly. "Alright you two. Reid, leave them alone." The man chided earning a look of triumph from Evelyn who turned her attention back to the baby.

"Spencer is just being mean Jack, don't mind him." Of course, Spencer had to ruin her little bubble.

"I doubt he understands you Evelyn." This time it was JJ who chuckled reaching out to pat his shoulder in a reassuring manner. "Let it go Reid. I know you're jealous, but you'll have Evelyn's undivided attention soon enough." The words only reached Reid's ears who turned to stare at his friend, cheeks flushed and mouth agape.

"Why would I be jealous?" He managed to say quietly, despite having the urge to shout the words in surprise. JJ only gave him an amused look before she turned her attention back to her food. Reid glanced at Evelyn, who was now setting the baby on the floor after spreading a small blanket and placing his various toys around him to play with while sneaking in bites of food for herself here and there. "I was just teasing Spence." The blonde beside him spoke up, knowing he would most likely beat himself black and blue trying to find out why JJ would think he was jealous, when he wasn't.

After eating the four of them left to finish up their tasks for the night. While getting ready to go home, Spencer realized he'd forgotten his bag in the conference room. Quickly walking in he very nearly missed the sight of Evelyn and Jack on the floor. Jack was sound asleep, laid out on his back, one hand still clutching his toy. Evelyn was curled around the baby in what Spencer could only describe as a protective manner. She was asleep as well, her hair falling over her face, her glasses placed beside her head. She'd shed her cardigan to drape it over Jack so he wouldn't get cold and she was on the floor while Jack was on the blanket.

Spencer didn't know how long he stood there. Simply watching the two of them sleep. It was strange how the simple sight of Evelyn sleeping so peacefully had him feeling peaceful and somewhat calm. The notion had him frowning in confusion, yet he still didn't walk away. Not until Hotch arrived with his wife after their night out and the scene was disturbed by Hailey waking up Evelyn. At Hotch's questioning look he simply held up his bag and left without glancing at Evelyn, trying to ignore the flush on his cheeks and the calmness that stayed with him every time he'd think of his red haired friend.

                                              ————————–

Tag List - @cillsnostalgia @kathaaaaaaa @lovelyygirl8

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x oc #spencer x oc #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x oc #dr spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds imagine #Criminal Minds

[cardiganloser]

will probably try and script more coherent thoughts on ofmd s2 tomorrow and my opinion is overall very positive but i really don't like the way they're handling jim/archie and olu/zheng. to clarify i would be 100% okay with a more open/poly version of jim/olu, esp since vico ortiz is poly irl, but this just feels underbaked.

1) jim and archie only interact a few times in the first episode before one of their first scenes in the second episode is their kiss. i think archie will be a fun character and her banter with jim was decent but to me there really wasn't enough build-up to pay off a kiss, esp after jim/olu was a well-done plot line last season that was built up by a series of good, genuine moments across all ten episodes. i don't think a slow-burn is always a definite requirement for a good romance but more than like three scenes of build-up is.

2) olu fully admits in ep 3 he had no idea that zheng was flirting with him. full honesty i was expecting zheng to be a lesbian (idk why just vibes) but really? she apparently grows a crush on olu through all his visits to her soup stand, of which we see one where they have a normal, polite conversation. then they join up with the revenge, jim and olu reunite and five minutes later olu is making out with her in her office? i'm aware olu was probably still surprised by the jim and archie situation but it genuinely felt so out of nowhere to me. tbh her random crush on olu was the only thing abt zheng i disliked, other than that she was fantastic and i'm very excited to see more of her. her feelings read like an unrequited crush to me.

3) jim and olu were a fantastic couple in s1, i was and still am obsessed. again, poly/open relationship is fine if done right, but this just reads like they forced relationship drama. we are only three eps in and maybe they aren't even going the poly route but in that case why make this a thing in the first place? why have jim and olu make out with other people when ed and stede are clearly giving us all the relationship drama? yeah, they thought the other person was dead/didn't know if they'd see them again but surely they'd be holding out hope or still grieving after what's been a year at most.

anyways, like i said, overall a good start but this plot point is rlly dragging down the early eps for me. hopefully it resolves quickly.

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means death spoilers #jim jimenez #oluwande boodhari #archie ofmd #zheng yi sao #jim x oluwande

[the-conversation-pod]

On Time And Memory

AND WE'RE BACK!

This week we're doing a thematic comparison about how our memory of the past impacts how we perceive our present. In a surprise for us both, we had a lot of positive things to say about Krist Perawat. We're talking about trauma and how we connect to wounded characters this week with Tokyo In April Is... and Be My Favorite.

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00 - Welcome 01:16 - Intro 03:10 - Tokyo In April Is... 11:01 - TIAI: Comparisons with the manga 14:15 - TIAI: Strength of execution 26:23 - Be My Favorite 34:00 - BMF: The time travel mechanic 44:47 - BMF: Dings 52:57 - BMF: Jittirain and Gawin and Krist 01:00:58 - Outro

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes. When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

01:16 Introduction

Ben

And we're back.

NiNi

Welcome, welcome, to our On Time and Memory episode. And why are we calling it On Time and Memory? Well, we're back in the second chance romance space. And when we're in second chance romance space it always ends up somehow being time fuckery versus head fuckery. So [laughs] what are we talking about this episode? We're gonna talk about time fuckery in Be My Favorite, and headfuckery in Tokyo In April Is…

Ben

I think for both of these shows you have characters who are emotionally stunted by their feelings for each other that they don't deal with for years. In Tokyo In April we have a story about two boys who were very close in high school, and a troublesome event separates them, and they don't run into each other again for…ten years. And there's a lot to unpack in the trauma between the two of them that we'll get into in the episode. With Be My Favorite, we have a young man who, approaching 30, isn't really doing anything and is still caught up in his bullshit from when he was in college. Until a magical McGuffin allows him to go back in time to college and re-experience some of these events—with a very strict time travel mechanic that I really liked how it was used. 

Both of these shows offer us some interesting things to talk about with how we perceive the events around us, and how that tends to linger with us and inform who we become.

NiNi

Okay so let's dive right in.

03:10 - Tokyo In April Is…

NiNi

And now we're going to talk about Tokyo In April Is... Ben, what is Tokyo In April Is… about?

Ben

Fundamentally, at its core it seems to be a show about nostalgia? But the description of the setup is, this young man named Takizawa Kazuma is returning to Tokyo after being away for ten years. He left at the end of middle school, finished his studies in America, and is returning to Japan as a pretty well-trained human resources professional and is joining some sort of company that's got office space in a tower. There he runs into another guy who's his age named Ren, who was his friend when he came back to Japan originally when he was a teenager, and they haven't seen each other in ten years. We learn over the course of the show that they were each other's first big loves, and they were each other's first experience sexually. But that encounter ended on a rather sad note for them as Kazuma ended up sick—had to be rushed to the hospital. The relationship became public knowledge to their families, and then Ren was summarily disowned by his family, kicked to France, and forgotten, only to eventually return to Tokyo. 

The two of them have a difficult way to go because Ren doesn't want to talk about what happened when they were 15, and Kazuma—who had a horrible bout with pneumonia and I believe meningitis?—he ends up not really remembering what happened after that night. He and Ren end up in an intimate situation, and Ren establishes a friends with benefits arrangement for them. And Kazuma decides to be patient with this so Ren can work through what he needs to as the two of them become closer. 

Ren also gets involved in a very Me Too era storyline with his work, where one of the women that he works with discloses that she was a victim, and that another member of the team was recently victimized. That the perpetrator has been preying upon the female staff at the company for over a decade. Two like really big threads in the show and I got a little bit lost towards the end there. But, the core of the show is about the…I guess it's sort of a second chance romance? Between Kazuma and Ren.

NiNi

I think we came down on opposite sides of this one, so I want to let you go first. How did you feel about it? What was your take on the show?

Ben

Overall I ended up liking this show a lot—and I tend to like shows that hearken specifically to things that I think are distinctly queer, also distinctly very male queer, because despite how femme our friend group is [laughs] and how many femmes are on Tumblr, I watch BL because I am a gay man who likes stories about gay men. And so I really connected to the youth portion of the story, where both of them were in love with the other, but couldn't conceive of a reality where the other boy also liked them back. And I really like how earnest that felt? Maybe I'm projecting a little bit of the manga onto this, I think it's a little more explicit in the manga, because we get more internal monologues? But I really like how that felt. The reality of that being snatched away from them at 15 was also something I connected to, having something really special and then having it basically ripped from you. In my case by circumstance, but them by being literally outed. 

And then when they get together as adults again, I really appreciate Kazuma’s patience with Ren. I think it's very difficult sometimes to care about someone who's clearly suffered—and you'd like to help but it isn't necessarily your problem to solve or your angst to unpack? Sometimes you just have to love someone very firmly, until they start to settle down a little bit. And I also really liked Ren's friend Ryunosuke, who he met when he was in Paris. I really liked in episode…7? Seven, when he reads Kazuma for filth—because he can't conceive of a reality where Kazuma doesn't understand what happened to Ren. It's less of a thread in the show, but Ryunosuke and Ren identify as gay, which carries political connotations. Kazuma doesn't necessarily think of himself as queer in any way, and so as a result he doesn't seem to consider the social, economic, and political ramifications of being gay, and how that impacts his feelings for Ren. Ryunosuke has been with Ren for ten years, has cared about Ren, has tried to be more than just friends to Ren, unsuccessfully, multiple times—that's text. And he hates Kazuma because this is the person who is the source of this huge knot that's got his friend locked up. And when you meet Kazuma, you understand instantly why Ren likes him. If I were Ryunosuke I would hate Kazuma even more [laughs] because he's so likable.

NiNi

[laughs]

Ben

You would almost want Kazuma to be a selfish prick who didn't appreciate what Ren gave up for him. But the fact that Kazuma is so earnest and gorgeous and naive and kind, makes you hate him even more because you can see what Ren may have been trying to protect. And he succeeded! Oh, I would hate that so much! 

[both laugh]

Ben

And so I really, genuinely loved Ryunosuke’s confrontation with Kazuma about that. I also really liked their domesticity. Because Japanese BLs are always using food as a love language. Food is love is a very common theme, especially when you have so many tsundere seme types, or even ukes who can't necessarily say the things that need to be said, but they can make a mean souffle. Ren doesn't have cooking skills. He's so stunted by what happened to him that he is missing love languages. The only thing he can really do is quality time and physical affection, but even then he's super restrictive about it with his rules. 

I enjoyed a lot of the gay shit in this that sticks with me.

11:01 TIAI: Comparisons with the manga

NiNi

Okay, so here's a question. I did not read the manga, manga's not really my thing, but you read the manga before you went into the show. Do you think that that influenced your experience of the show in any way?

Ben

The simple answer is yes? It's kind of hard not to…when you know the story, you're watching it differently. And that's true for anybody who read source novels watching adaptations, or saw the original work when it's been adapted to another language or something. Your prior familiarity does impact your viewing experience. I will say in the case of Tokyo In April Is…the show is better, significantly. Whatever I would rate the show, it is a full point higher than I would rate the manga. The manga…is, one, way more erotic, and it uses eroticism kind of poorly sometimes? And there's one particular one that is extremely distasteful. There's other really tactful changes they made to the source material. Some of it was just moving the reveals of certain information around for better coherence. 

I think the show is significantly better than the source work. Not in a way that makes me want to say the source work is bad, but very much when they were adapting they were like, [laughs] ‘we have to move some of these pieces around and restructure some of this.’ Some of the stuff when they were kids is far more explicit. They have to say it because they're not relying on the actors to deliver it. So Kazuma being as in love with Ren as Ren was with him is far more legible in the manga I think? And, like that scene on the roof where they're talking about having girlfriends: Kazuma in his own internal monologue in the manga says he's just going to say what straight people are supposed to say, because he thinks it would be embarrassing to admit how much he likes Ren. I don't think that's as legible in the show. Unfortunately.

NiNi

Yeah, and it's strange because the show does use internal monologues, so I'm not sure why it wouldn't have used internal monologues to get those bits across.

Ben

There's this weird dynamic with trying to be a little bit subtle about certain things? Less explicit sometimes about the queer stuff—with the main couples—that I don't know what the party line is on this, because they didn't have a problem doing with Ryunosuke, but he doesn't have any romantic potential, so they can say it for him. He can say the thing, because he's not getting anybody's booty in this show, so whatever. But like there's a whole thing with Kazuma and Ren that was only alluded to in the show. 

I think the young actors are fine, but I don't think that they necessarily conveyed on their own, the missing bits of the internal monologue that I think should have been voiced over.

14:15 TIAI: Strength of execution

NiNi

Yeah. And that's kind of my whole thing with the show? So, Ben and I, I think, fell on opposite sides of this particular one. I thought that this was written really well; I am not sure that it was performed well. Or performed in a manner that grabbed me, let's put it that way. Intellectually I feel the tragedy of the story, but I'm not feeling any of it? And I think the performances had something to do with it, and I think a little bit of it was the staticness of the direction. This is the same team that did Our Dining Table, which is also based on a manga, but that show does not feel as static in the direction as the show does. Sometimes the whole manga styling, it works for me—they linger on a shot and it's very clear that that was like, a full page panel, or something like that? Sometimes that works for me with Japan, and sometimes it doesn't. 

Some of the times that it's worked for me have been, like, Our Dining Table and What Did You Eat Yesterday? But then there are times that it didn't work for me, like here, and The Pornographer. It's the same kind of like static direction, but the acting is not coming through in the same way as it did in Our Dining Table and What Did You Eat Yesterday? I felt at an emotional distance the whole time I was watching the show. It was very clear what I was supposed to be feeling, because the writing's very good. It's partially the staticness of the direction, but it's really the fact that the actors aren't acting through that direction. 

To be fair, when I'm talking about Our Dining Table and What Did You Eat Yesterday? I’m talking about Iijima and Inukai, talking about Uchino and Nishijima, these are top tier actors. These actors are very new. They've clearly been through the training, but they didn't bring out, for me, the emotionality that I would expect to get in a story like this—because this is a very tragic story. It's a tragic story with a happy ending, which is nice, but I neither feel the tragedy nor the joy. I can see that I'm supposed to feel it. The writing is telling me that I'm supposed to feel it. But I'm not feeling it, it's just not hitting for me, I wasn't getting enough of the inner from the performances. And it wasn't coming through in any other way. So if I'm not getting the inner from the performances I have to get it in some way, through a dynamism in the direction, or something in the set design, and I didn't get it through any of those means that I would normally use to soak up a vibe from a show? I wasn't getting that normal kind of pull that I would that I would usually get, that would suck me into something. Objectively it's good, but it didn't touch me? The production did not capture the depth of the story, for me.

Ben

I like Japanese static framing, because sometimes I think you have to just sit in whatever situation you're in. And sometimes that's really fun, like all of the fun eating around a table in What Did You Eat Yesterday? or Our Dining Table. Sometimes it's not fun. When you're watching Kazuma respect Ren's boundary, not asking a question that needs to be answered in a show like this. I totally see what you mean with the set design, about how things feeling kind of generic and bland. But I also feel like that's sort of the point, like, Kazuma is recently back in Tokyo. And the very first thing I thought about his place was that it was too big. But I feel like that's also the point. Missing part of himself because Ren has been gone for so long, and he's willing to provide so much space for Ren. I liked the use of earth tones in the few things that he did have, to ground his place and make it feel more alive than Ren's own place, which was so forgettable.

NiNi

Yeah, this is what I'm saying: normally in Japan, the set design, it pulls you in, the sets say so much about the characters.

Ben

But I feel like that's the point here! The lack of definition from their physical spaces is part of the point, that they're both so ungrounded. With Kazuma’s space in particular…the whole domestic episode of theirs, we kept calling it the What Did You Eat Yesterday? homage episode—but that also feels like sort of the point. That Kazuma is trying to model what he hopes will be helpful for Ren.

NiNi

I just feel like, if it's intentional, then when things shift between them, that it should then change. Because I could have bought the sterility of both of their places at the beginning of the story as intentional, and demonstrating how stuck they both are, that they can't even extend themselves to their surroundings because they're stuck in this moment that happened ten years ago. I could buy that as an argument. But then when they become unstuck, I feel like I want to see that reflected in some way. The story doesn't get there, because when they're moving in together, we only see like the barest bit of their place, and it just looks the same. 

So I can take your point and buy your argument, but then to me, they missed a trick towards the end of the show by not making it clearer that now they are unstuck, and their lives can begin, and their lives together can begin, so their surroundings should start to match the new vibe that they're building together, to me anyway.

Ben

I do get that, I just don't know that I want them to do that in either of their apartments. Because both of their apartments look and feel temporary to me. And I'm really okay with the show starting where we began, with Kazuma on the street reminiscing about Tokyo, with the reveal that now he's with Ren and they're walking off together, and now they can casually talk about their time as teens. I'm okay with them completely starting over. 

Like I take your point. It just didn't bother me because of how it instantly read to me. Like everything seemed off, and that felt intentional.

NiNi

When we were talking about this a little bit earlier you brought up pulps. Because you know how I feel generally about the pulps. I'm most familiar with the Thai pulps and the rhythms of the Thai pulps, so I can point to a Thai pulp and be like ‘that's a pulp.’ But normally you have to like, guide me into realizing that something from somewhere else is a pulp, because I don't have the same familiarity with the rhythms. This now, you described it as a Japanese pulp, and I had to sit with that for a minute, because I'm like ‘oh okay, is this what it is, is this what I'm feeling?’

Ben

We talked about this a little bit. This is not me reading you, don't take it as such.

NiNi

Why would I ever? If you're going to read me, you're going to tell me you’re reading me.

Ben

I will read you on this podcast, but I’m not reading you here. I just think, like one of the things that I've gotten used to as a queer cinema viewer is: we don't get big budget money, we don't get big actors in our stuff. And if we do, it's like, ‘this is their formative work! Look how bad they were in 1992!’ I get used to a certain raw quality or newness with these actors? And I am not put off by it. I appreciate that they were willing to do the work, and I appreciate when they take the work seriously. Like at no point do I think that Sakurai Yuki and Takamatsu Aloha are afraid of each other. And afraid to play two men who are into each other. And I have felt that from Japanese actors…we get the sense that they're not necessarily comfortable working with their male co-star. I did not feel that here from these guys, I just felt inexperience. And I don't begrudge people the experience they don't have. I care about the work that they're trying to do. 

This is a very poignant story about a very specific kind of relationship, that I think is fairly familiar for a certain type of queer viewer who has dealt with familial homophobia and the consequences of being discovered at a young age? Something else the show did that the manga didn't—the manga doesn't do much develop Kazuma’s despair at Ren leaving, and it's one of the things that I really like in the show, because he was very strictly adhering to Ren's rules…about not asking questions that Ren didn’t want to answer, obeying the rules about their intimacy, even though Ren was modifying them, breaking them or changing them on the fly. And you can see how he turns into this shell of himself because Ren's gone. That was so well done, the manga does not develop that at all. 

NiNi

Ben's like, ‘inject the sadness directly into my veins!’ [laughs]

Ben

I need to know these gay boys have been through the suffering! And the knowing, it's my favorite part. There's also the mom. The mom is way better in the show. There's a bitterness about the whole resolution with the mom, that is correct in the show. In the manga they make it seem like…it's almost comedic that she separated them for ten years? The conversation she has in the show with the other woman, about how strong their love is and how special it is and why she separated them? Yeah, she has that with the boys in the manga. I hated that shit. I'm so glad she had that conversation away from the boys. 

The show is better. I gave the show a 9, I would have given the manga like an 8.

NiNi

It’s hard for me to talk about this show because intellectually I got it, but I still felt mid about it. It is well done. It's well written, it does not look cheap. They put work into the show. It's very clear that everybody from top to bottom on this production put the work in. But it didn't hit me. 

Ben

It’s okay, I think, for a viewer to recognize the quality of a story, the intent of a story, but to not necessarily personally connect to it.

NiNi

So you gave it a 9, I would say…objectively it's a 9 show, I would agree with you there. It just, these are two different 9s, let's put it that way.

Ben

[laughs] I get that these are not currently the most compelling actors you've seen. But we're seeing a lot of people early in their careers, when it's cheaper to maybe hire them for these things. And I'm okay with this being some of the first work that people do.

NiNi

So Ben gives it a 9, I give it a 9, that's a 9 for Tokyo In April Is…

26:23 - Be My Favorite

NiNi

Ok Ben, so let's talk Be My Favorite. We, well I, had no intention of watching this, you were going in hostile…Ben, tell the people, what is Be My Favorite about?

Ben

Be My Favorite is about Krist Perawat’s redemption arc. No, Be My Favorite is about this young man named Botkawi, who is thirty years old and still stuck in all of his mess from when he was still a student. He is invited to the wedding of the girl that he has had a crush on for ten years—who he has never really spoken to—has an entire crisis about it, then a magic uncle gives him a plot device to travel back in time to try and change his future. Along the way he ends up realizing that he didn't really understand any of the relationships in his life, and because this is a BL, ends up with the guy who Pear, the girl he was into, was going to marry. 

Honestly, describing the show's plot is going to make it sound really silly, but fundamentally it was a show about the importance of kindness, and just choosing to be a little bit decent to people, even when it didn't feel like it benefited you at all. And how that can have transformative effects in the lives of everyone around them.

NiNi

I think that's a good descriptor, and I think you're right that if you just dryly explain what the show is about, it seems like it's a little silly—but it was really really affecting, I found it quite deep and quite emotional in a lot of ways. Kawi is a loser, but he's a loser because he chose to be. He got into his head that he was a loser and he just cut himself off from all the people in his life, and sort of manifested his own loserdom. When we meet Kawi, like we can see that, because people are trying to be his friend, people are trying to be close to him, people are trying to socialize with him and have him as part of their crew, their group, their whatever, and he is just not having it. He's stuck in his own head and his own sadness and his own perception of himself? And the way that his life has gone? And he can't seem to unstick himself. 

The catalyst for him starting to unstick himself is when this wedding invitation arrives. That's when you start to get the full story of how Kawi even landed up here. You get to go back in time with him to the point in time when the decisions that he made landed him here. He thinks of it as nothing having worked out for him for twelve years, but what it really is in actuality is that he hasn't tried anything in twelve years. He's just allowed himself to become this sad sack of a person, and just told himself that he was a loser. 

The show is very…it delves into the idea of how you can turn your perception, however misguided it is, into your reality. It's a lot about not being able to see the good things that are in your life, only being able to see the bad. There’s a few threads in there that are interesting that the show runs with: threads on alcoholism and binge drinking, threads on decentering yourself from other people's stories. There is a lot the show says about being an active participant in your own life. I thought it was a really interesting show, and well done. Well written, well produced, well directed, and very well acted, I think. I did not go into this as a Krist fan, because I did not think that he was a good actor. And I was very surprised and quite pleased with his chops in this. I love Fluke Gawin, I think he ascended to another level in this particular show. I think he put more of himself into this show than he has into some of his other roles, and I was impressed already with some of his other roles. 

Ben, what did you think about it?

Ben

I went into this show…ambivalent? Many of us in the BL-sphere had fallen out of favor with Krist, and I'm also really hit or miss with Jittirain's work, because I don't like how much lying is a big part of her stories. I was really surprised by how much lying was not part of the story of this. This show cared so much about earnestness. It was very determined for people to say what needed to be said to each other, and begged people to treat each other kindly. 

One of the things that I really liked early in this show was that three different characters confessed to each other in this love triangle. Pear has a crush on Pisaeng, Pisaeng has a crush on Kawi, Kawi has a crush on Pear. They all reject each other, and it ends up improving their friendships, because now that nobody is withholding their feelings for fear of rejection, they can treat each other properly again. They did the thing that Korean stuff does a lot, which demands that people confess, but they did it in a way that showed that it's actually beneficial, and it can get better for people after you confess, even when you're rejected. I thought that was really really lovely. The show just begs you to choose kindness, to be a little bit nicer to people. To not be so selfish. 

And I was not expecting that [laughs] from a Jittirain adaptation with such an unlikable character in Kawi? Because Kawi was not an easy character to like on the front end of the show. It felt very…calculated in the casting, to use an actor that had such a complicated relationship with the BL community? Who starts off so unlikable, and then to make us like him over the course of the show, by letting him grow and change, and letting us grow along with him. Like that was really restorative, in a way that I am genuinely floored by. We didn't want to like him in the beginning, but I genuinely cared about him by the end of the show.

34:00 BMF: The time travel mechanic

NiNi

Let's talk a little bit about the time travel, Ben, because I think that the time travel mechanic is kind of important to the story. So, let's break down a little bit how they do the time travel. 

So like you said, there's a McGuffin object that they use, one of those little music boxes thingies? And when you turn the music box the first time, nothing happens. But then the next time that you turn the music box, you are taken back in time to the first point at which you turned the music box. From then on, you're slingshotting back and forth between two points in time, which is the last time you turned the music box in the past, and the last time you turned the music box in the future.

Ben

The big thing with the time travel mechanic is that you're not in a Groundhog Day story. You're not reliving the same day over and over again. This is not about Kawi having to keep retrying the same moments over and over again. The big thing with the time travel mechanic is that you create a checkpoint in the future and a checkpoint in the past, but every time you go back to one area or another, you're still moving forward. So he comes back to when he first buys the snow globe. He goes back the first time to when he bought it and he tries to give it to Pear, but once he tries to go back to the future after the first jump, whenever he goes back, he's back to wherever he was after he attempted to give it to her. So he has to keep moving forward; he gets one redo of what he did before. And so he's still forced to live with the consequences of his choices, he can't just keep trying over and over again. That's also kind of a metaphor? You can maybe mess up something once, and try again with people? Before they're like, ‘okay well this is who you are,’ and then they leave you alone. 

I really liked this particular time travel story, because so much about jumping forward for Kawi represented where he was in the moment. So the first time he thinks he's accomplished all the things he came to, to do, like save his dad, become friendly with Pear, etc, and he jumps forward—his life is a mess. Because he was overindulgent when he was last in the past, and that played out to him becoming an alcoholic in the future, who was not great in his relationship with Pear, because he hadn't really committed to being in the relationship with Pear, he just wanted to have the relationship. And this caused friction with all the other people in his life. Particularly Max, his gay bestie, who was one of the first relationships he fixed. Like, he had stopped hanging out with his gay bestie because people were like ‘are you guys, like, homo because you guys are besties?’ So he avoided Max to avoid conflict with other people. But he fixes his relationship with Max, and Max ends up staying by his side through most of the timelines that we get to see in the future. 

But a big part of the way this time travel mechanics works, by like—you move forward in both the future and the past—it forces Kawi to be present in either place while he's there. And he eventually learns the theme of the show, which is, live a life that you won't feel like you need to change. We get a great use of this towards the end when Pisaeng, in a moment of fear about Kawi potentially dying, jumps back to the past to try and somehow fix it. Kawi clocks him as a time traveler right away, but they end up revisiting like their first proper date? And end up facing each other as two time travelers trying to fix their past. Kawi really rises to that moment, and tells Pisaeng, ‘don't worry about it.’ I found that in particular to be really satisfying. That for somebody like Kawi who could only see the world negatively, by the end of the show he's able to give his partner—who is incredibly optimistic as an individual, who's facing a really terrifying loss in potentially losing him—the courage to face that eventuality, and say that our lives are still worth living and enjoying even if they might be a little bit short. Which is…kind of a heavy theme for the kind of upbeat Friday BLs that GMMTV likes to do. 

So. I was really impressed with the way they handled the time travel mechanic in this. I think it offered a lot to the storytelling, I don't think this show works as just a relationship show otherwise, I think the fact that it's a time travel show is the only reason this particular story functions. And that makes me very fond of it as a result.

NiNi

Yeah, I like all of the time travel mechanic work specifically because one of the things that it makes you think about is that every time Kawi jumps forward to the future, there is a sense that, almost in a way that time stopped—obviously not, because time has kept going—but more that he stopped developing or he got stuck at the point in time where he jumped forward. So when he jumps forward to the future, he's still the Kawi that jumped forward from the past, he has not grown, has not evolved, has not anything like that. And it feels like all the people around him are stuck too? So it's almost like at the point in time that he jumps forward he freezes everybody in amber, which I really appreciated as a metaphor for, you can't fast forward through your life. You have to live it. Which is one of the themes of the show that I think was executed really well, utilizing that aspect of the time travel mechanic. Every time he tries to short circuit and just go from the past to the future without living through the bits in between, the future doesn't go well, it doesn't end well for him. I really did like that about the way that they use the time travel mechanic. 

I like how this team deals with science fiction mechanics, because this is the same team that did The Gifted and The Gifted: Graduation, which are probably two of the best Thai dramas that I’ve ever watched, and the way that they think about the genre implications and the genre aspects of the shows that they do—they put effort into it, they're not lazy about the genre work that they're doing. And they deeply integrate it into the story that they're telling otherwise, so to to your point about how this story wouldn't have worked if it wasn't a time travel story: completely agree about that. The time travel is absolutely necessary to the emotional core of the story, and to the core of who the characters are and how they move through their lives. It's really…critical aspect of it. If Kawi hadn't already lived through to the version of his future where he's a sad sack, he might not have been motivated to fix his past. And then if he hadn't jumped forward to a point in time that he thought he fixed everything, and realized that he just made it worse, he wouldn't have, again, tried to go back and fix it properly. And then in going back, decided to live his life rather than trying to fast forward to the end. 

One of the things that it really forces him to do as well—because there are rules to the time travel mechanic—basically there are some things that you can't change? There's some things that you can't avoid, there are some things that you can't fix. And this is shown in the person of Kawi's dad. One of the things that Kawi tries to do when he goes back to the past, is he tries to prevent his dad from dying? And he thinks that he's succeeded, because he knows when his dad is gonna die. He knows why he's gonna die. He succeeds at getting him medical help, but he dies anyway, because death is one of those things that you can't avoid, you can't change, it is what it is. Between the discussions of alcoholism and that fact of there being things in the timeline that you just can't change, it led me to the serenity prayer as a reading of the show. You have to know what you can change. You have to have the courage to change that stuff that you can change. You have to have the serenity to accept the things that you can't change. 

So for Kawi, he knew he could change things about himself, things about the decisions that he made in the past. Those were the things that he had to change, and he had to discover the courage to change those things, which he did. But he had to also accept the things that he couldn't change. He couldn't change his dad dying. He couldn't change the fact that Pear did not feel the way about him that he felt about her. He couldn't change the fact that Pisaeng felt the way that he felt about him, or that he felt the way that he felt about Pisaeng. He had to accept those things. And then he had to determine, he had to learn, the difference between those two things—because that's the basis of the serenity prayer, right? You have to accept what you can't change, you have to change the things you can, and you have to have the wisdom to know the difference between those things, which is also what the whole time travel thing is giving him.

Ben

It's the kind of show that makes the audience feel smart because they were paying attention to what was happening. It doesn't require the audience to notice a bunch of things in the set design or the costuming, or easter eggs that are planted all over the place. It just rewards the audience for leaning in a little bit and participating in the themes. Recognizing the kind of story that they're telling, and they're very up front about it, they're very clear that kindness, even small amounts, is transformative. And that just choosing to be nice to someone and not be a dick to them, in a critical moment—even if it's a small moment for you—can affect the way that they view themselves and their life. 

44:47 BMF: Dings

NiNi

Because we always have to talk about our dings: what are the elements in the story that you were hoping that they were going to deal with that they didn't deal with?

Ben

So I wrote a post about Pisaeng's mom, and how she is engaged in some of the worst kind of evils that queer people have faced. Pisaeng’s mom is a wealthy woman pursuing a political career, and you get the sense that his being out is inconvenient for her. Later they tried to recontextualize this as, ‘she was just concerned that his life would be harder if he chose to be out.’ But one of the things that's revealed in around episode 4, I believe? Is that her employees are spying on Pisaeng, and reporting on him when he goes into queer spaces. She jacks him up about that, and then tries to manipulate him into going back into the closet now that he's trying to push the door open. He knows who he is; this is not a discovery story for Pisaeng. And it was frustrating for me that with all of the evils about her trying to manipulate her own son back into the closet—they also have Max, who's presented as wise in the story and woke as shit, admire her for the things she said when Pisaeng feels some kind of way about her because of the way he treats her. And that is never dealt with in the show. Irked the shit out of me. It raised my hackles when it came to the mom so much, that her resolution with Pear’s dad, to just let the kids sort their lives out, was not enough for me. 

On the other end of things that were frustrating for me…I don't like the resolution for Knot. I'm really glad that he got his ass handed to him by Pear and Kwan, because he was a dick. But in a show so much about kindness and change, it feels kind of weird that we leave Knot when he has basically hit rock bottom, and then don’t talk about him or acknowledge him. He just appears at graduation, and he appears at the wedding, and seemingly is a novelist—no matter what history we're in, Knot will be a successful novelist. Max wasn't allowed to have an on-screen boyfriend, but Aou was serving.

NiNi

You talked a little bit about episode 10, and Pisaeng and Kawi's first time, and how it felt like somewhere in there, between them getting together and that moment happening it felt like there was a conversation missing. Now I definitely agreed with you with that, I think a lot of people agreed with you with that. But I do also want to talk about Kawi’s journey with intimacy. There were a lot of people who were reading Kawi as ace-coded throughout the show. I don't think that I ever bought an ace or aspec read on Kawi—well, I wouldn't say not aspec, because I feel like maybe a demi read would be a read that I could get down with. 

But I never bought an ace read on Kawi, and there was a lot about the ways that Kawi was discovering his sexuality, not just in the sense of…sexual identity, of being gay or of being a man who likes men, but also in terms of the fact that, when we meet Kawi in the original timeline, Kawi is a 30-year-old virgin. It's sort of put together as part of his whole loser aura that he never got it together enough to be with anybody? So in going back in time, he's going back into his 18-year-old self as a 30-year-old virgin. So this is somebody who has not experienced any sort of intimacy: emotional, physical, any sort of intimacy in his life. The lift that he's lifting, in terms of discovering who he is as a sexual person—not just as a queer person, but just as a person discovering his sexuality period—that was the read that I bought?

Ben

I guess I'll disclose a little bit before I pooh-pooh on the ace Kawi read. I identify as demisexual, and I don't like the ace read of Kawi. Kawi is almost very much in the BL space of, he's happy if they just cuddle and hold hands only. Which is the space some of the readers of BL and yaoi like to put these boys in. The reality coming from Max to Kawi is that Pisaeng is a gay man, who knows he's gay, who's into you. You must face the reality of male-male intimacy if you're going to be in a long term male-male romance. Which—all I think the point they were trying to make with Kawi and Max. By seeing Kawi choose to face that, in the episode with the amusement park about how Kawi needs to face some of his own uncertainties, and go on the ride that might be a little bit scary for him, ha ha, they're getting that particular point across. 

It's a little bit muddled, but I'm not a fan of the ace Kawi read, because it feels that we project asexuality onto prudish characters or chaste shows. And that's not always what's happening. I don't want to claim Kawi for the ace side of the board? Because while I do think that a demiromantic, demisexual read is totally valid for him? You must respect that that is a read on the character from the place where you're sitting: don't think that is part of the canon of this show. I think the show is making a different point about male-male intimacy, not trying to make a point about ace spectrum existence.

NiNi

I agree with you that the show muddled that point. But it tried to pull it back by having the do-over of the amusement park beats.

Ben

And that's the really muddled part, because by going back to the amusement park date and doing it better the second time, but not taking us to that moment because they didn't want future Pisaeng to take that moment from their past selves, I think it still leaves the audience hanging. It's okay for them to say that that moment is between them, but it feels like we didn't follow Kawi's arc through that big step. We've been with Kawi for so many personal and really ugly moments, that it was kind of surprising that they would slam the door on us right there.

NiNi

They did show us the first time, and they showed us the aftermath of the first time, and whatever they did, Kawi seemed pretty happy with it. It's not that the arc wasn't complete, it was that a piece of the arc felt like it was missing.

Ben

I'm not necessarily mad about it, but it's why I did not give this show a 10. It's one of the reasons I did not give the show a 10.

52:57 BMF: Jittirain and Gawin and Krist

NiNi

You talked a little bit in the beginning about Jittirain stories, because we were both not feeling Jittirain. I am a known non-fan of Theory of Love. I skipped, and Ben did not enjoy, Vice Versa. Ben likes 2gether for reasons, I have never been particularly interested in it. Jittirain is not particularly my cup of tea, I don't really think that you are a great fan of them either? So why does this story work for us?

Ben

Because the show is not about lying. The show is about telling the truth. And almost all of her stories are built on a core lie underpinning the show. I was waiting for some huge lie to upend this show around the midpoint and it really doesn't. This show was about being earnest and forthright with people. And it was fascinating to see an adaptation of Jittirain work—because I understand that very many liberties were taken with the source material—to tell a story that was not about withholding for some sort of power play over the other person. It was very much a show about how our lives are better when we're earnest with each other. I don't know how much Jittirain's original writing had to do with that or not, because I have not read her books? But this particular story really worked for me!

NiNi

I was so surprised that the Krist and Gawin pairing ended up working. The chemistry was there, the emotional resonance was there between the two characters which I really liked. A lot of time when we talk about chemistry in these shows, we end up talking a lot about the physical chemistry or the sexual chemistry, but something that gets sort of thrown to the side a lot is the emotional chemistry between the characters, and the way that the actors play that emotional chemistry. I really enjoyed the emotional chemistry between Kawi and Pisaeng, and I really enjoy how Krist and Gawin played that emotional chemistry and emotional tension.

Ben

I believe that one of the directors talked about this, that Gawin and Krist are kind of playing against type. They had to really push Gawin out of his shyness to play the Pisaeng character, and they talked about how they struggled in some of their early cues trying to get Gawin and Krist to fall into alignment. 

I wasn't worried about Gawin, because Gawin is always playing the emotionally repressed gay man who is sad, because he can't be gay the way he wants to be, in the world he finds himself to be in. That's what he's good at! He's done it three times now! He did it with Mork in Dark Blue Kiss, he did it with Dan in Not Me, and he did it again here with Pisaeng. As soon as they’re like, ‘he's been gay the whole time’ I'm like, ‘there it is! I knew there was a reason we cast Gawin!’

[both laugh]

Ben

But Krist was a real surprise for me, and there were a bunch of interesting callbacks to SOTUS that a couple of us caught along the way, with the way some of the shots are set up, some of the way some of the moments were reconstructed…definite callbacks to SOTUS asking us to compare who Krist was in, say 2016, to who he is now in 2023. And I liked the show giving us all the chance to move on from how we felt about who Krist was at the beginning of BL.

NiNi

It's deliberately done. The creators of the show, they chose Krist deliberately for this role, and part of it was about his public persona; this was a rehabilitation role for him. They've talked about that, and he talked about how hard he worked, because he wanted to change the way that people in the BL fandom thought about him. And I thought that was really neat. I didn't get too much or give too much to whatever the controversies were? My issue with Krist was always that I didn't feel like he was giving 100% in the role that he was playing? And I can't say that I knew why, but there was an eau de homophobia around it, I do have to say. I didn't get into the behind the scenes stuff, and the, whatever he said on the IG live, and, like, that wasn't my thing about it. My thing was that, if you're going to act in a role, play the role, no matter what the role is. So that was always my issue with Krist, I felt like he didn't put his all into the role. I can't say that about him here. Whatever happened back in the SOTUS days, Krist was really young, he was new to acting in general, he was new to this particular industry. Did he make mistakes? He might have, he must have, he probably did. But he put, like, whole pussy into this role, I cannot say that he left anything on the table, and that is definitely the opposite of the way I felt about him when I watched the five episodes of SOTUS that I managed to get through before I quit.

Ben

I'm okay with it! Krist, you may have a plate, sir. You can sit with us now.

[both laugh]

NiNi

I feel like you have done the work, sir. You have earned this plate that you're getting. Good job. So, ratings for Be My Favorite? You said that you rated it a 9, and you had some specific dings on it.

Ben

The mom stuff bothered me, the Knot stuff felt like a thematic misstep, and I don't really think that Aou's character has an arc in the show, he's just there as the wise gay—who has great pants, and nice legs. And like these things are fine. I think the show is fine, but I don't think I'll be rewatching it, and I don't think it's my first recommend. It's a 9, you can have it.

NiNi

I gave this show a 10.

Ben

This show does not get to sit next to La Pluie, Moonlight Chicken, and My School President this year!

NiNi

My 10s are unrelated to all of my other 10s.

Ben

Mine are inherently related to each other.

NiNi

All my 10s are very different 10s! And I gave Be My Favorite a 10 because it nailed, for me, its core premise, like absolutely nailed it. There are, to me, no holes in the core. There are some wobbly edges…there are some little tweaks and stuff that could have been done around the sides, but to me the core of the show is absolutely solid. I got myself a nice few emotional moments, there was nothing about it that bothered me so significantly that I had to ding it. For me, it was a 10. 

So 10 from me, 9 from Ben, so that leads us to a 9.5, which I think is a good place for this show to sit personally. Ben, I think, feels a little like ‘ugh, 9.5 is giving it a lot!’

Ben

It's a 9.

NiNi

Yes, but we have a rule.

Ben

I am weighting the average down a quarter of a point.

NiNi

That is…not how maths works, but okay, I will let you have it. 9.25 instead of 9.5, even though that is not how mathematics work, it is fine. [laughs]

1:00:58 - Outro

NiNi

So, Ben…now that we've got some distance between us and these shows: what are some of the things that are sticking with you? What's lingering?

Ben

Tokyo In April Is... was really really gay, and that was preserved from the manga adaptation. Like I was listening back to it and my love for Ryunosuke holds firm. I really liked that this show and Be My Favorite has a very self-affirmed queer character holding the line on the bullshit. In Ryunosuke’s case, he doesn't like Kazuma, because Kazuma should know better, and he doesn't like what that did to Ren. I like that he's in a position to call that out and it's like, ‘we are gay; that means something in this world.’ 

I really like that both of these shows are pushing past the boundaries of the BL bubble, and reminding the genre and the people who enjoy it that queer people matter, that their lived experiences matter, that there are consequences to the things that queer people experience, that don't go away just because they got some dick. So I ended up, even further away from these shows, like, I find myself thinking about Ryunosuke a lot, and I find myself thinking about Max a lot. I like that Max told Kawi that he does need to reckon with the physical realities of being in a relationship with someone. Felt like very specific shade about BL itself not really considering the physical realities of two men being together. 

NiNi

For me, the further away I get from Tokyo In April Is... the less it sticks with me. But I'm having the opposite reaction to Be My Favorite. The further away I get from it, somehow things are popping up in my mind and I'm finding myself thinking about it.

Ben

I'm on the opposite side of that. I thought Be My Favorite was solid, but I watched like 22 things this season: Be My Favorite is not on my ‘I'm thinking about that motherfucker’ list at all. And it's not like [laughs] it's bad in any way. It's just not the show I'm thinking about. 

Like I really like the way they handle grief, I really like the way they handle people having unrequited feelings for other people, I really like that show's messaging about how unrequited love is still good, and it should be expressed, because it can help that relationship become a more healthy balanced version of itself. I like how that show says that telling people you love them is one of the best things you can do. Like that's a pretty cool message! But this is not the show this year that makes my, even top 10, in terms of things I'm going to be thinking about long term.

NiNi

I think while you were talking about it I figured out what it is. It's the thing about having to live your life; that you can't short-circuit it, that you can't fast-forward it. That you can't even really go back and do it over, in the way that you might want to. ‘The only way out is through’ is one of my mantras, and I feel like that was also one of the mantras of the show. You can't avoid things, you can't circumvent them, you can't jump over them: you have to go through them.

Ben

I think, as always, Be My Favorite was not gay enough for me.

NiNi

We're going to be talking a lot about that, I think, over the course of the next few episodes and the next few seasons, because I think we've hit a point in BL where it kinda has to shit or get off the pot on being queer rep, and what they are deciding to rep for queerness?

Ben

I don't know how exactly to describe it. For me…Max is pretty gay in a way that I found really accessible. Pisaeng is gay in a way that I found mostly accessible? Kawi's queerness was…a bit difficult for me to grasp. I'm not necessarily keen on the ace Kawi read, because it feels like a cop out. I don't like calling characters ace because they are sexually inexperienced and/or repressed. Either make a story about the complexities of asexuality or shut the fuck up. I don't like the way the cutesy shit reads for me these days. 

With Tokyo In April Is... I like how specifically queer their story feels. That you had two boys who loved each other in high school; did not believe the other boy could reciprocate; they have one night together before everything goes horribly wrong; and then one of them tries to take on all of the suffering for the other one, and mostly succeeds? And then they run into each other again, because of course they do. Particularly because the boy who was saved™ never got over the other boy, and has been trying to get back to him for ten years. And that just really works for me. I get the way that both of them are wounded. It doesn't have to be explained to me. Even if the actors may not have consistently landed the performances? Tokyo In April Is... hits for me because it's the kind of experience that I am unfortunately familiar with! And that's the kind of stuff that's going to stick with me more.

NiNi

In winding up here: we talked about second chance romance in the spring, and I feel like we had a lot to say about why we like it? And I just want to get a sense of…how you’re feeling about second chance romance coming out of these two particular shows. 

For me, I was really happy with what these two shows said about second chance romance. In both of them there was in some ways a forgiveness of self that needed to happen, in order for these two couples to get their shit together. And it was a forgiveness of self that needed to happen on both sides of the couple? So it wasn't necessarily that one had done something wrong to the other, it was more that…these are people who were living half-lives. In some ways beating themselves up about something that had happened in their past? And I liked that these two shows really put an emphasis on self healing as prerequisite to love. These people had to find themselves to find their love. I like that message.

Ben

Like I said last season, second chance romance is important for me as a gay person. Our youths aren't easy; I'm feeling a whole lot better about myself in my 30s than I did in my teens or my 20s. I do think that second chances are important for queer people, because a lot of people didn't figure it out until they were away from their families and in school and stuff, and a lot of us who did figure it out early did not talk to anybody about it, or did not have a great time with it, or were interested in people who hadn't figured it out yet. And so second chance romance in BL remains super important for me. It's probably the current style of story that most appeals to me.

NiNi

That is going to wrap us up on our On Time and Memory episode. We out! Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace!

#podcast #lgbtq #tokyo in april is... #be my favorite #the conversation #ben and nini's conversations #on art #fall series #fall 2023 #thai bl #bl series #season 4 #s4e3 #shigatsu no tokyo wa... #Spotify

[natashasfilms]

Chapter Ten - The Fisher King: Part 1

Summary: FBI agent Leila faces a profound life change after giving birth to a baby girl, supported by her loving husband. Despite the challenges of motherhood, Leila returns to her role as a dedicated agent a few months later, ready to confront gruesome and haunting cases with the BAU team.

Pairing: BAU!Fem!OC x Male!OC , EVENTUAL Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Fem!OC (Like much later)

Warnings: This story contains mature themes such as sexual content, strong language, violence, mentions of alcohol and drugs, blood, gore, and death. All the usual Criminal Minds stuff. And there is NO CHEATING.

Note 1: I imagine Leila Kade as South Asian but I have decided to let you, the reader, imagine her appearance, hence the reason why I have not given her a face claim. However, her race does not affect the story, whatsoever. You, as the reader, are free to imagine her however you want. If you don't see her as South Asian, then that's fine. It won't affect the storyline. I also imagine the OC!Male as South Asian, but again, it won't affect the storyline.

Note 2: The team will consist of the main cast (Emily, Derek, JJ, Spencer, Penelope, Aaron, and Rossi) but will also include Elle Greenaway and Jason Gideon because they were some of my favorite characters and I wanted to include them with the rest of the team. Basically, Elle and Gideon never leave when Emily and Rossi join.

Note 3: There will be multiple time skips throughout this series. For example, the first chapter will begin on the first season and episode of the show but then there will be a time skip to later episodes (because there are obviously way too many episodes to write this series on and I wanted to include specific episodes that would help the plot of this story). This means that this series will be a slow burn romance but I believe it to be better this way. This will also stray from the actual show a lot, so don't expect it to follow the plot precisely.

Series Masterlist

Season 1, Episode 22

Leila's excitement peaked upon learning that she would finally enjoy a long and refreshing break from work. Aaron's decision to grant the entire team two weeks off filled her with anticipation. All she could think about was being able to devote her undivided attention to her family without the burden of a new case weighing on her mind.

As she ensured she had everything she needed from her office packed into her bag, she let out a sigh of relief. Rushing out of her office, she almost accidentally collided with Aaron, who had also just emerged from his own office.

"Hey, ready to leave?" Aaron's bright smile greeted her. It was the happiest Leila had seen him at work, and she couldn't help but feel that this break was the best thing to happen to them in a long time.

"Two weeks with no contact from this place? It's like a dream come true," Leila said giddily as they descended the steps. "And now it sounds like I hate my job."

Aaron chuckled, reaching the last step. "I don't blame you. It's nice to finally have some time away from here." As they approached their cubicles, they noticed Elle and Derek. "Hey, don't knock family. I'm going to get nothing but for the next 336 hours," Aaron remarked.

Derek hummed with a smile on his face. "Good for you."

"Haley's got a list of chores a mile long and I can't wait," Aaron exclaimed excitedly. "The biggest decision I gotta make is what I'm gonna do first."

"I bet she has a thought or two about that as well," Elle responded, sharing a grin of her own.

"Bring it on," Aaron said loudly, walking away from them.

"Bye guys, have fun!" Leila waved goodbye, rushing out the doors.

"Thank you, Grace. Please enjoy the next two weeks off," Leila expressed her gratitude, cradling Jasmine as the little baby babbled happily. "You're the best."

Grace returned her appreciation with a warm smile, gently patting Jasmine's head before bidding them farewell. "You three enjoy your two weeks off. You guys really deserve it."

"You're the sweetest, drive safe!" Leila called out as she watched Grace leave the house. She then looked down at Jasmine, who was still babbling away. "Let's wait for daddy to come home from work, and then we can have lots of fun, okay sweetie?"

A few moments later, Leila heard the garage door open, indicating Zaid was home. As soon as he walked in, Leila rushed over to him, still holding Jasmine. "There's my two gorgeous girls, come here," he greeted warmly, wrapping his arms around Leila, being careful of Jasmine in her arms. "Both mommy and daddy have two weeks off from work, so we're going to make the most out of it, alright Jas?"

When Leila had told Zaid that she was getting two weeks off from the BAU, he didn't hesitate to take some time off from his job as well, wanting to spend as much time with his family as possible. "Mhm, and I know a few ways we can spend it," Leila grinned, giving him a quick peck on the lips. Zaid winked before gently taking Jasmine from her arms, twirling her around as Jasmine giggled joyfully.

After dinner and some playtime with Jasmine and her favorite toys, Leila and Zaid finally settled their baby down for the night. Ensuring she was comfortable, they quietly exited her room. As they left, Zaid playfully grabbed Leila's waist, causing her to squeal a bit too loudly. He quickly covered her mouth with his hand. "Shh, you're going to wake her, honey."

She scoffed, gently pushing him away before turning to face him. "Well, then don't give me a reason to scream."

Realizing what she had just said, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as Zaid began to chuckle, his hands coming up to gently cup her face. "I think you're underestimating me, love," he teased affectionately.

Leila rolled her eyes before Zaid leaned down to capture her lips with his own. He pushed her against the wall, his hands reaching for their own bedroom door before opening it and pushing her inside. Zaid swiftly picked her up, Leila wrapping her legs around his waist as they fell onto the bed.

Their lips continued to move against each other while Zaid tugged at her shirt, his hands moving under it to touch her skin. Leila hummed against his lips as he tugged at his hair. "You gotta be quiet for me, honey. You can do that, can't you?" Zaid muttered against her skin, detaching his lips from hers to move down her neck. She tried to speak but couldn't, her mind focused on the pleasure he was giving her. Instead, she nodded her head. "Good girl," he chuckled, and the two fell into a world of pleasure soon after.

The ringing of the phone in the middle of the night jolted Leila from her slumber. She lay on top of Zaid, his arms encircling her, and her frustration grew as the phone persisted. With a groan, she reluctantly reached out to the nightstand, not bothering to check the Caller ID before answering. "Agent Kade," she mumbled into the phone, trying her hardest not to fall back asleep.

"Agent Kade..." the voice on the other end spoke, but Leila was too tired to register whose voice it was. "You need to focus on what truly matters. There's someone in danger, someone who needs your help. There have been many destroyed relationships in the family, don't get lost in the details. Remember, everything starts at the beginning. Time is of the essence, and the youngest holds the key. You must find a way to save her. Can you do it, Leila? Can you be the hero she needs? Can you finally do what's right?"

Leila furrowed her eyebrows as her eyes shot wide open, sitting up on the bed, still holding the phone against her ear. "Who's speaking? What are you talking about?" The sudden change in Leila's demeanor caused Zaid to become worried, who had awoken after she picked up the phone.

"Save her before it's too late," the voice said once more before the line cut off.

"Who was that?" Zaid asked with concern, his eyes scanning his wife's face.

She looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, shaking her head. "I have no idea."

Leila glanced towards their bedroom door and swiftly rose, hurrying to Jasmine's room, with Zaid close on her heels. Relief flooded her as she laid eyes on her sleeping baby, Leila's fingers instinctively clutching the crib's bars. Zaid approached, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, prompting her to look up at him. "What's going on?" he asked, concern etched in his voice.

She swallowed hard, stealing one last glance at Jasmine before guiding Zaid out of the room. Leaning against the hallway wall, she crossed her arms tightly. "I just got a really strange call. Some guy insisted that I have to find a way to save a 'her.'"

"Her? Which her?" Zaid asked, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"That's what I don't know," Leila replied, exhaling heavily and shaking her head. "But there was something else." Zaid nodded, encouraging her to continue. Leila took a shaky breath before speaking. "He said something about a family, Zaid."

His confusion deepened, knitting his eyebrows together. "What do you mean?" he questioned, seeking clarification.

Leila pursed her lips, pinching the bridge of her nose. "He said that there have been many destroyed relationships in the family and proceeded to finish off by asking if I can finally do what's right." As soon as those words left Leila's lips, Zaid's eyes widened in shock. "There's no way, right?"

Zaid shook his head, gently rubbing her back in reassurance. "I'm sure it was just a prank call, honey. Don't worry." Despite his comforting words, Leila couldn't shake off the unease that settled in her mind. Her heart skipped a beat when the phone rang again, causing her to jump in fear. "Hey, it's okay. I'll answer this time, okay?" Zaid offered, his voice calm and soothing as he grabbed the phone. He answered the phone and listened intently to the person on the other end. Nodding in acknowledgment, he glanced over at Leila, who still wore a concerned expression. "Yeah, she's right here," he said into the phone before handing it over to her, silently mouthing that it was Aaron who called.

Leila furrowed her eyebrows, her concern growing as she brought the phone to her ear. "Hey," she answered, waiting for Aaron to speak.

"I just got a call from Derek," Aaron spoke, his voice tense. "The Jamaican police arrested Elle for a suspected murder."

"What?" Leila exclaimed, her voice tinged with shock.

"I honestly thought it was just a stupid prank call, but he called you too?" Leila asked in disbelief. "And now Elle has been arrested. What the hell is going on, Aaron?"

As the two FBI agents were en route to Jamaica to meet with Derek and Elle, they learned that Elle had been framed for a murder. The authorities had discovered a blood trail leading to her room at the resort where she and Derek were vacationing. The victim had been decapitated, making identification impossible thus far. Aaron ensured to bring in bureau lawyers and a crime scene unit as they didn't know what they were dealing with.

"I don't know," Aaron sighed, rubbing his temple. "So much for two weeks off." The two sat across from each other in the jet, grappling with the unfolding situation. Leila was certain that Elle was being framed. It was out of character for her to commit such a crime. "You didn't have to come, you know?" Aaron remarked.

Leila rolled her eyes. "Like hell I wouldn't." Aaron couldn't help but smile, chuckling softly at her response. Leila tilted her head, narrowing her eyes in confusion. "Why are you laughing?" she asked, puzzled by his reaction.

He shook his head, reassuring her that it wasn't bad. "You're a good friend," he affirmed, knowing that she would always stick up for everyone on the team no matter what. "We're all lucky to have someone like you on this team."

Her lips turned up into a smirk, laughing at his response. "Aw, Aaron. Don't get so sappy on me," she teased. "It's not good for your image." The comment made Aaron roll his eyes.

They soon arrived in Jamaica, driving to where Elle was currently detained. Upon meeting up with Derek, he explained everything to them to the best of his ability. Once they arrived at the location, the three of them walked into the room where Elle was being questioned. Aaron presented evidence to the investigator, proving that Elle was not even present when the murder occurred. Reluctantly, the investigator handed over the keys to unlock Elle's handcuffs.

They left the room, and Leila immediately enveloped Elle in a tight hug, relieved to see her freed from the unjust ordeal. "Are you okay, Elle?" Leila asked, gently rubbing her back in comfort.

Elle pulled back slightly to answer, her expression a mixture of confusion and exhaustion. "I don't even know what the hell just happened." 

The four of them walked away, ready to depart for Quantico, eager to find out what was going on and who was sending them strange messages.

Once back at Quantico, they were informed that the headless victim's head had been sent to Gideon. The victim, identified as Marty Harris, had been rooming with a man named Frank Giles at the resort. Giles was revealed as the murderer but had fled Jamaica, prompting a search. Meanwhile, the unsettling individual who had called Leila on the phone had been sending cryptic messages to the entire team, repeatedly urging them to save a girl.

"So, clearly we have a psychopath intent on drawing us into his game," Aaron stated, the team gathered in the conference room, attempting to piece everything together.

"Playing with us," Gideon finished, his tone grave.

Elle chimed in with determination. "Then let's return the favor."

"He kept telling us repeatedly to save her. What 'her'?" Derek questioned, his brow furrowed in frustration.

Gideon pondered for a moment. "The items he's sent must be some kind of clues."

"We should put them all up on the board, then," Leila suggested, prompting Aaron to nod in agreement. JJ grabbed a marker to start writing on the board.

"I got a Nellie Fox baseball card from 1963 and I got a head in a box," Jason began.

"I got a rare butterfly in a shadow box," JJ spoke, turning her head towards the team before she turned back around to write the clues onto the board.

"And repeated messages to 'save her,'" Aaron added.

"He called me and said that 'There have been many destroyed relationships in the family,'" Leila retorted, shaking her head, her initial thoughts when she first heard the message gone from her mind. "Whatever that's supposed to mean."

"I got the decapitated body," Elle said, walking back and forth in the room with her arms crossed. "And a nice visit to the Jamaican Police Headquarters."

"Reid called from Nevada," Gideon informed them. "He's on the way back here with a skeleton key and a note he got, too."

"And the guy who called me said, 'The youngest one holds the key,'" Aaron finished off.

Elle raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "That's Reid."

"Okay, but wait a minute. UnSubs, they don't contact us this way," Derek began, shaking his head. "I mean, they might taunt us, dare us to catch them, but they don't drag us into their fantasy."

JJ turned to look at Derek, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "Why not?"

"Because they're sexual fantasies," Derek responded, waving his hand. "I mean, taunting us is a show of power, but making us the object is…" he paused, shrugging, before clasping his hands together. "I don't know what the hell that is."

"There's something else about the baseball card," Gideon started to say. "Nellie Fox was one of the stars of the 1959 White Sox. I went to almost every game with my father that year. Fox was my hero." Leila tilted her head, her mouth slightly parted as she tried to comprehend everything. "So is it a coincidence that he sends this to me, or does he know how I feel about him?"

The little story made JJ pause, turning her head back around towards the team when she realized something. "I collected butterflies when I was a little girl. That's how I knew what butterfly was in the box."

Derek tilted his head. "So then he knows us?"

"I got an anonymous message," Aaron said, shooting down the possible idea.

"I got a police raid," Elle added.

"And I got––" Leila paused, her breath catching in her throat for a moment, everyone else in the room staring at her before she continued. "I got a random phone call in the middle of the night. So I guess not."

"But he knew exactly where we were," Derek continued, paying no mind to the sudden hesitation in Leila's voice. She let out a silent breath of relief, but her eyes locked with Gideon's, the older man staring at her as if she was hiding something. She quickly looked away as Derek continued to talk. "Hotel in Jamaica, Gideon at the cabin, Reid in Vegas, you two at your homes."

Suddenly, a certain blonde walked into the room, her expression somber. "He got that from the Bureau computers. Your locations are always logged in there so they can locate you if necessary," Penelope informed them, holding a piece of paper in her hand. The team turned their attention to her, urging her to continue. "And I checked the log. The hacker was definitely in the personnel folders. There were room numbers for the hotel in Jamaica, the address of Gideon's cabin... There's a lot of information in those databases."

Aaron, maintaining his usual stoic demeanor, questioned her. "Have you figured out how he was able to breach the Bureau's computers?"

Penelope swallowed hard, her voice trembling. "I'm still working on that."

The team noticed the tremor in her voice, sensing that she was holding something back, a realization that struck Leila as hypocritical, given that she was doing the same. "Garcia, if you know something…" Aaron prompted, his tone firm.

"No, it's, um…It's just…I…" she stuttered, struggling to articulate her thoughts. "I was playing a game yesterday. An online game."

Gideon raised his head. "A game?"

Penelope quickly interjected to clarify. "Not on the Bureau computers, sir. On my own personal laptop."

Derek sighed, leaning forward. "No, Garcia. No, no, no."

"I don't understand," Aaron said, clearly puzzled. Leila released a breath, realizing the implications. She knew Penelope didn't mean any harm, but she couldn't help but pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Wireless Internet," Derek explained succinctly.

"By wirelessly hooking into the Net here to get online, the hacker could have accessed my computer first, and I have far less protection on my own laptop," Penelope clarified.

"And he could have infiltrated the entire Bureau computer system this way?" Aaron inquired, his brow furrowed and his arms still crossed.

"Yeah, it's possible," Penelope confirmed solemnly.

"Playing a game?" Gideon shrugged, standing up from his seat. "How could you be that stupid? Information, files. You have a responsibility," he said frustratedly, and Leila noticed the hurt on Penelope's face.

"I know, sir. I'm so sorry," Penelope apologized, her voice breaking. The team looked at her with sympathy, but then she spoke again. "But I found him."

"You what?" Elle questioned, disbelief evident in her tone.

"I know who he is, the hacker. His name is Giles. Frank Giles," she rushed out, unfolding the paper in her hand. They all looked at each other as soon as she revealed the name, their eyes widening. "He lives in Arlington, Virginia, four miles from here. I have his address."

Leila stepped forward. "Garcia, you said Giles?" she asked, seeking clarification.

They soon went to Giles' address to apprehend him, only to find him murdered in his room, stabbed with a sword. A chilling note, written in his blood, adorned the wall, stating, 'Here thy quest doth truly begin.'

Searching his room for any clues, they discovered a bag of money on his dresser. They assumed that Giles had carried out the murder of Harris as instructed by the unsub, who, in turn, rewarded him with money. However, the unsub had turned on Giles, ultimately killing him. The unsub continuously left them clues, using language reminiscent of the medieval times.

They found a CD the unsub left for them, watching it once they got back to the BAU. He named them one by one, including pictures of them, making it clear that only the team was to complete the 'quest.' Despite the unsub's instructions to exclude anyone but themselves from the case, Gideon was adamant about holding a press conference.

After the press conference, they continued to sift through the clues. Leila glanced over and noticed that Elle had fallen asleep on the couch. "Someone's really tired," she remarked, her gaze fixed on Elle's sleeping form.

"Can you blame her?" Derek questioned, giving Leila a sympathetic look. "She hasn't slept for thirty-six hours."

Aaron entered the room and immediately noticed Elle asleep on the couch. "Elle?" he called out.

The brunette quickly shot up. "I'm awake."

"I'm sending you home," Aaron told her firmly.

"No," Elle sighed, resisting.

"You need to get some rest, and we won't do anything without you," Aaron reassured her.

"Elle, seriously," Derek spoke up. "We're not any closer than we were. Get out of here. Go home."

"But––"

"It's an order." Aaron gave her a pointed look.

Elle turned to look at Leila, who nodded in agreement. "You need to sleep, Elle. Go home and recharge, you'll feel so much better."

With a defeated breath, Elle stood up from her spot on the couch and walked away with Aaron. Leila, Derek, and Spencer continued to work on the case, but nothing seemed to be coming to mind. Leila's eyes focused on the rows of numbers on the paper the unsub had sent them. The unsub told them that they needed a specific book to decode the message, but they were unsure of which book to use.

Leila ran a hand over her face, massaging her temples as she felt another headache coming on. She stood up from her chair to take a break, letting the team know that she would be back after a few minutes. Exiting the room, she headed towards her office but then noticed Haley with Jack in the stroller sitting in Aaron's office. She was only here because the unsub dropped off a note at their home. 

Knocking on the door, she heard a faint "come in" and she walked inside. She gave Haley a warm smile as she hugged her. "You look really tired, Leila. Are you doing okay?"

Leila chuckled, nodding. "This unsub is really kicking our butts right now. We still feel like we're getting nowhere with all of this."

Haley gave her a sympathetic smile, putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, you guys will eventually figure this out, just like you always do." Leila returned the smile, but then her eyes moved over to the stroller. "Jack's still asleep. Aaron told us to stay here until it's safe."

"And he made the right call," Leila responded. "I'm going to get back. I just needed a small break from being in that small room."

"Of course, I'll see you later, Leila." Haley waved goodbye as Leila exited Aaron's office. Leila decided to walk to her office and try her best to think of anything that could help.

She sat in her chair, her mind drifting to Elle, who was likely already sleeping in the comfort of her own home by now. She felt a pang of sympathy for her best friend, knowing everything she had endured over the past day, from being arrested to the unsettling games the unsub was playing with them. She was relieved that Elle had finally gone home to get some rest.

Yet, despite this, she couldn't shake off the strange feeling that something was about to happen.

#angst #fluff #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds series #one shot #revelations series #aaron hotchner x bau!reader #aaron hotchner x original female character #original male character #original female character

[butterfingersgutterball]

Deep Space Nine episode idea

Something that's always fascinated me that hasn't been explored in DS9 is Jake Sisko being the one who introduces his dad to Kasidy Yates. I would love an episode similar to TNG’s Data’s Day where Jake learns about love with the DS9 crew, eventually meeting Kasidy leading up to him mentioning her in Explorers (the one where he and Sisko build the solar sailer). Much like Data’s Day, Jake’s Day would focus on an understanding of love from the POV of someone new to it. This wouldn’t be uncharted territory as a theme for Jake--in the early seasons as his relationships with women/girls are contrasted frequently by Nog’s misogyny. The difference in this episode is that Jake would be coached/advised by crew members about love who, after Jake’s questions and probing would admit they are actually failing at romance.  ___ Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. S3E21.2: Worthy Pursuits (between The Die Is Cast and Explorers)___ The teaser starts with a clamour of action in ops, as the crew tries to get a group of people transported from a shuttlecraft that’s about to explode.       Kira is shouting to O’Brien to get a lock on the signal, Dax says they are losing them and offers a technobabble thing to try. Sisko: “DO IT!”       They beam a small group to ops just as the shuttle explodes. They’re a Bajoran family, two dads and their daughter, grateful to have been saved, the camera lingers on a young Brandy Norwood playing the daughter(she’s the same age as Ciroc, hooray for age-appropriate love interests!). Sisko tells them they will have to wait for the next transport to Bajor, and that their team will investigate why the shuttle exploded. "In the meantime, why not join me and my son for dinner tonight?"       The family agrees and we fade to Jake and Bran’Nu (Brandy—I know Bajoran names don’t have apostrophes but it’s one of her pseudonyms so go with it) talking about him being a writer and what the station is like as Sisko cooks and talks to her dads.     Jake gets sombre, “It must have been scary thinking your shuttle was going to explode” he offers her condolences and space to talk about the incident. She says yea but she’s become accustomed to dangerous situations since she and her dads are smugglers. “Our shuttle may have been sabotaged by Cardassians. Ever since the occupation, my dads have been smuggling medical supplies. When the occupation ended a lot of Bajorans were still without vital supplies due to bureaucracy so some of us have taken to redistribution on our own.” She explains how they make enemies and often have to keep moving. Jake says that sounds lonely, and she says yea it is. He says if she wants to she can spend time with him while she’s on the station.      Bran’Nu “are you asking me on a date?”     Jake stumbles and stutters and she says “how about this writer-boy, you write me something to convince me to go on a date before we find transport off the station and I’ll decide based on what you write” “Deal” says Jake.      Sisko invites them to the table and the 5 of them sit when Sisko gets a communication from Odo: “I think you’d better come to my office. Your guests may not be who they say they are.” Opening titles. Jake is working on his writing for Bran’Nu with Miles in the O’Brien’s quarters. He and the chief are discussing girls and love. Keiko is playing with Molly nearby and Jake asks Miles how he knew Keiko had feelings for him. Miles proudly tells a story of a day in Ten Forward on the Enterprise when he brought Keiko a drink and there was a way she looked at him when she said thank you that made him think she wanted to pursue a relationship. Keiko laughs and says that wasn’t a look of admiration, she thought she had smelled him and wondered why he hadn’t had a sonic shower after his shift. Miles gets escalated and defensive (as he does) that his romantic memory is nothing to her. They bicker a little and Keiko redirects to Jake saying there’s no formula to it, people are all so different that we have no way of knowing if we share the same feelings, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying or that we should get too bogged down by rejection, we should focus on cultivating open communication, not basing love on our own assumptions (she looks at Miles who huffs but agrees) she continues:        “I was taking lunch with Garak last week—”       Miles: “Garak? You’re doing lunch with Garak now too? First Julian now you with that--”        “Miles!” Keiko stops him and looks at Jake, “Garak might be the perfect person to ask about love, Jake. He has a unique perspective.”     Jake agrees that he will talk to Garak. [B-plot here of Jadzia finding out the smugglers worked with the Cardassians. They bring this info to Sisko, Odo, Kira and the smugglers who insist they are being set up, Kira believes them but Odo doesn’t. Something is off, and Sisko is frustrated that they aren’t telling them everything]. We cut to Bashir and Garak exiting the holosuite in Quarks. They’ve just played a spy holonovel and Garak is complaining about the romantic subplot being bland “not nearly enough antagonism to keep it interesting”. Bashir counters that the evil President provided more than enough antagonism, the romance was a nice reprieve of tenderness, a reminder of why one fights for justice. Garak scoffs “if that sorry display of the women coming out of the water and falling into your lap is what you’re fighting for I can see why we so often land on opposing sides my dear Doctor”. The two take a seat next to Jake who is talking with Quark and Morn at the bar, Morn gets up to leave and Quark is wiping a tear away while talking to Jake, Bashir and Garak “leave it to Morn to have the perfect poem that expresses the depths and nuances of love.” “My my, Quark, I didn’t pin you as the sentimental type,” Bashir says as Quark gets him a drink. “Not sentimental? You cut me, doctor. I happen to regard love above all else! Jake here was asking about love and I was proud to inform the young man, just as all good Ferengi boys are told at his age, don't get too hung up on feeemales, focus on latinum. As the 72nd rule of acquisition: 'the love of profit is the root of all good.'” Sisko enters with Odo behind him, "funny, Quark, on Earth we have a similar saying with a different sentiment" They are clearly here for Quark but he plays it like they aren't. "Well that is perfect Commander, we were just discussing sentimentality, perhaps you and the constable would like to join us? I know under all that goo there's a hopeless romantic!" Odo harumphs and sarcastically mocks Quark, "Another time I'd be delighted to listen to you all prattle on about how your humanoid hearts flutter and your fleshy palms dampen but I am afraid I'm here to make you sweat for another reason." Odo explains Quark is wanted for questioning, he and Sisko take Quark away but not before he puts Rom is in charge of the bar.  [B-plot here of Odo and Sisko finding out how Quark was paid to inform someone of the smuggler's departure from the station. He swears he had no knowledge that they'd be blown up, he tells them he was paid by an old Cardassian Gul, Odo remembers the Gul's name and that there was a rumour he was a Romulan collaborator. Sisko is like “Romulans? Cardassians? Bajorans? Ferengi? Federation? It seems we are all at each other’s throats, each with a knife in one had while pointing fingers with the other! We may not all be able to get along but I’ll be damned if this station becomes a battleground!” Quark snidely, “you mean if the station becomes a battleground again. It’s always been on the brink. You two, you see the big problems, usually before it’s too late. But at the bar, I can see the small changes in the wind, a cool breeze from the smallest comment over drinks can incite chaos.” Odo “with no help from you, I’m sure!” “To the contrary!” Quark is offended “Quarks is also a place filled with love! A first date, a birthday celebration, it’s all around if you know where to look”] Back at the bar, Rom is pouring drinks for Bashir, Garak, and Jake as they are talking about love. Jake explains he is writing something for a girl to convince her to go on a date. Garak, "Human mating rituals will never make sense to me." Bashir raises an eyebrow. Jake, "Well, she's Bajoran actually. And I would say it's more dating than mating..." Rom, looking at Leeta over at the dabo tables "Do you think, or, uh, are you worried about, the uh... differences?" Bashir, "Ah, Interspecies relationships can present ... [he looks at Garak] unique challenges. Have you dated a non-human before, Jake?" “Unique challenges?” Garak asks,  “You know what I mean” Bashir turns attention back to Jake and Garak’s eyes get wide, shocked by Julian’s brazen disregard.  "I mean, this is a Bajoran station." Jake says "most girls here my age aren't human. And besides Barjoran's aren't that different--" "Ignore the Doctor" Garak waves his hand regaining composure, "he overcomplicates things. While I would never encourage a Cardassian to be wed with a non-Cardassian--such a union would be far too messy--a date or a tryst is harmless and can provide invaluable insight into the customs of those around you." "A tryst?" Bashir asks incredulously, "what are you implying?" "Oh please, Doctor," Garak responds, "A short romance can be good for a young man. He needn't get ahead of himself with ideas of love and fantasy or he may miss what is right in front of him." Bashir is straight-faced and annoyed, far to familiar with Garak’s double meanings, "And what you're saying is right in front of him is a 'tryst'?" Rom and Jake look between them awkwardly, this is clearly the bickering of a couple, something is going unsaid. Garak covers his discomfort by standing up, "I am saying, at times it is best to keep things short and sweet lest one introduce confusion. And with that, I will bid my farewell. Thank you for the holonovel [he looks at Bashir] and subsequent conversation [to the others] I found both, [back to Bashir] enlightening."  Bashir chases after him like a desperate boyfriend who said the wrong thing but knows he can patch things up. As Garak and Bashir exit a new face enters and stands next to Jake. "Excuse me," the woman asks Rom "I heard you have holosuites with baseball programs?" It's Kasidy Yates. Her transport ship the Xhosa is docked at DS9  for the next few days and she wanted to try it out. She invites Jake to join her so he can show her the program since he's familiar with it. On their way to the holosuites they see Bran'Nu sitting alone. Jake says hi, asks what she's doing alone, she says her dads are being questioned about the incident so she was just waiting around. Kasidy invites her to join her and Jake in the holosuites, Bran'Nu has never seen baseball before and says it sounds fun. Cut to the three of them in batting cages with Kasidy giving Bran'Nu pointers and Jake operating the pitching machine. Hi-jinx ensue with Bran'Nu being scared of the ball and Jake laughing saying he'll show her how it's done. Kasidy kind of side eyes him and tells Bran'Nu about how human males often take on a machismo attitude when playing sports in order to impress women. Bran'Nu says some Bajoran men are similar. Jake is still in good spirits but is dejected a little. He apologizes and talks about how his dad cautions him about toxic masculinity too. Kasidy says he sounds wise. Jake: "and he likes baseball too! I should introduce you two. He taught me my stance." He gets into his stance ready for the pitch. Bran'Nu has the ball in hand and hovers over it making eye contact with Jake but speaking to Kasidy, "Yeah, I hate to admit it, but I've met a few guys that are alright" She winks and drops the ball into the wheels. Jake is smiling at her obliviously and the ball smacks him in the face making him fall backwards. Bran'Nu rushes over to him apologizing asking if he's okay, he comes up laughing and says yea, the safety precautions are on, he's fine, but he wants to hear more about these guys she likes. She plays it off, "oh that? I was just talking about my dads, like you were." "Right! My dad!" Jake says excitedly looking at Kasidy, "You should meet him!" "I'd love to" says Kasidy, "But my transport ship is leaving to Bajor tomorrow at 0800, so it will have to be another time." Bran'Nu is like "Bajor!? Me and my dads are looking for transport to Bajor, could we come?" Kasidy says yea, they have room for three more.  [cut to her dads in the B-plot, they have no idea why a Romulan would be after them. Cardassians sure, but not Romulans. Through some investigating Jadzia and Kira find out a changeling posed as a Romulan to get the Gul to destroy the shuttle craft. The aim being to incite more fighting between Cardassians, Bajorans and Romulans. By staging the assassination at a Federation station they hoped Starfleet would have to pick sides and even more Alpha quadrant infighting would occur. They find out there are a few changelings in the Alpha quadrant doing these little attempts at destabilization. This builds up to a head in Adversary when a changeling is on the Defiant.] Jake says goodbye to Bran'Nu at the docking rings, they are waiting for her dads and Kasidy. Jake gives her a padd with his writing about why she should go on a date with him she reads it silently. He keeps interrupting her "which part are you at?" "shh" "I didn't get to do much editing" "I'm reading it" "If anything seems off I blame being hit in the head with a baseball yesterday" she laughs at this. Bran'Nu "Humans like kissing, right?" Jake: "I can't speak for the whole human race, but I've enjoyed it in my experiences." Bran'Nu leans in and he leans toward her, they give each other a light small kiss and pull back kind of awkwardly. Jake, “Is something the matter? Does my breath stink?” Bran’Nu “No, no, it’s just...I don't know if I can guarantee  that date. We're different you and I--" "Bajorans and humans aren't that different, we have a lot in common!" "No, not because of that, [she passes the padd back to him] you wrote about so many different people you're friends with, that's really beautiful.  You have a community here. I mean because I'm always moving around with my dads. You're more... [she gestures to the station] stationary." Kasidy and Bran'Nu's dads come by with Jadzia who explains Sisko is tied up in meetings with Starfleet about the whole ordeal so she is here to see them off. Jake tells Kasidy he's going to talk to his dad about her, she says she'd like that. After they leave Jake talks to Jadzia about the moral quandary of the episode: will we every be able to get along across all our differences? Jadzia says over her 300 years, she is sure there will always be conflict, learning to love each other won't ever become easy, but it will always be worth pursuit. [End]

#deep space nine #star trek #star trek deep space 9 #Jake Sisko #kasidy yates #captain sisko #commander sisko #odo #quark #jadzia #kira #bashir #garak #garashir #brandy #rom #leeta #ds9 #fic #fanfic #romance #love

[foundtherightwords]

All Our Yesterdays - Chapter 12

Pairing: Ralph (Timewasters) x OFC

Summary: Thu, a museum archivist, only wants to escape her dull life in 21st-century Hanoi. The last thing she expects is to end up in 1929 Indochina via a time-traveling elevator and cross paths with Ralph, an Englishman on the run from the French Foreign Legion. Romance blossoms between them, but in a colonized country, unrest is always looming on the horizon, and Thu must decide if she wants to stay with Ralph in the past or return to the safety of the future.

Warnings: outdated/period-typical attitudes about women, mentions of war, mentions of pregnancy and abortion (involving a supporting character), some angst, some smut (non-explicit)

Chapter warnings: mentions of war, angst, smut (non-explicit)

Chapter word count: 4.5k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Thu told the office that Mai had acute appendicitis and had to go to the hospital for an emergency operation on New Year's Eve. The other women tut-tutted and fussed and wanted to visit Mai in the hospital, but Thu insisted that the girl was very tired and shouldn't be disturbed. It was such a clumsy lie that she was sure nobody believed her, least of all Madame Phuong, but the editor-in-chief seemed to have other things on her mind. She only said, "Poor girl, her parents are not going to be happy with me," and repaid Thu for the hospital bills out of her own pocket.

"But Madame Phuong, this is too much," Thu said, looking at the money.

"No, that's for after she is discharged. I'm going to be—quite busy in the next few weeks, and the house will be in disarray. It's no place for her to recover. Could you find her a nice boarding house and put her up there for a while? I'll pay you for your trouble."

Thu narrowed her eyes. Did Madame Phuong suspect something and want Mai out of her house to avoid a scandal? Was she afraid Mai's parents were going to blame her for not keeping a closer watch on their daughter? Still, Thu had to admit, whatever the reason was, it was best for Mai to be somewhere else. In the end, she brought the girl to her old boarding house. She figured she owed the landlady as much after moving out so abruptly; plus its closeness to Ralph's studio made it more convenient for her to check on Mai.

Mai recovered physically, though she remained low-spirited. Thu hoped that once she was well enough to go back to work, the girl could put this whole episode behind her. As for herself, Thu couldn't quite shake that feeling of vague unease that had settled on her after the Lunar New Year. She felt tense all the time, but unlike the fluttery, pleasant tension between her and Ralph before they got together, this was heavy, menacing, like the air before a storm. She could forget it for a while in Ralph's cheerful and calming company, only to feel it churning in her stomach again. Despite telling herself that war was fifteen years away, she couldn't shake the sensation that disaster was looming on the horizon.

***

About ten days after the Lunar New Year break, Thu went into the office as usual to find the women all huddled around a newspaper—not their own, but Hanoi Noon Report. There was fear on their faces, and they whispered to each other in low, serious tones. She felt cold all over. Had something happened?

"What's going on?" she asked Lien.

"There was a mutiny in a garrison up north," Lien replied, showing her the paper. "In Yên Bái."

The Yên Bái mutiny. Of course! That was in 1930. She'd completely forgotten about it. "The Vietnamese Nationalist Party was behind it, right?" Thu said, before she could stop herself.

Lien glanced at her sharply. "Why did you say that?"

Shit. Perhaps they don't know yet. Thu scanned the article to avoid Lien's scrutiny. It only stated that some Vietnamese soldiers turned on their French officers, killing two and wounding several others. It made no mention of the Nationalist Party. She had to be more careful letting things like that slip.

Over the next two weeks, the true scope of the mutiny was gradually revealed. It wasn't just a few disgruntled Vietnamese soldiers turning on their French officers. Though nobody dared talk about it, everyone knew it had clearly been an organized attempt by the Nationalist Party to overthrow the French government. The tension Thu had been feeling seemed to spill out all over the city and its people. The streets were full of soldiers; checkpoints were set up; arrests were made; raids were conducted. Firebombs were thrown into some public buildings, though no one was hurt. A 10 PM curfew was imposed, but as soon as it got dark, most streets were already deserted as people hurried back to the safety of their homes.

Everybody at the office was on edge; Madame Phuong seemed a lot more irritable than usual, and more than once, a reporter threw down her work in disgust, asking "Why are we writing about such frivolous things, when there are much more important matters going on?"

Thu spent most nights pacing around the studio, wondering if she should leave, but then she would catch Ralph looking at her, his eyes tugging at her heart, and her resolution would wane again. Could she ask him to come back with her? He would say yes, probably. But it would be difficult for him to stay there, much more difficult than it had been for her to stay here. Perhaps she could just wait until this all blew over. It wouldn't take long, if she remembered her history lessons well.

But it didn't blow over. If anything, it blew up, and Thu finally realized, it was one thing to learn about history. It was another to actually live in it.

On a cold, wet afternoon in late February, two weeks after the mutiny, Thu was coming back to the office after an errand when she saw a crowd outside the office. There were shouts and screams from within. Her heart dropped. Elbowing her way through the rubberneckers, she found her way inside and was greeted with a scene of pandemonium—several Vietnamese police constables were turning the office upside down under the watchful eye of a French officer, while the women huddled in a corner, looking at them with a mixture of fear and hatred. Only Madame Phuong stood alone, tall and motionless, her face deathly pale like a marble statue.

One of the constables emerged from the corner office, brandishing a stack of papers triumphantly and handing it to the French officer. Thu saw a slight waver in Madame Phuong's calm gaze.

The officer threw the papers in front of Madame Phuong and asked her something. She gave a short reply. More questions. Thu had no idea what they were saying, but she caught the words Parti nationaliste vietnamien and could feel the fear from the women around her rise like a wave of cold, clammy air. Then the officer nodded to the constables, and Madame Phuong put her arms out in front of her with a resigned look, accepting the iron cuffs that a constable clinched around her wrists.

"No!" Lien cried out and ran forward, but shrank back in front of the menacing glare of the French officer. The constable yanked at the cuffs, and Madame Phuong was all but dragged outside, bundled into a waiting black car, and taken away.

Once the police were gone, the crowd slowly dispersed as well, leaving only the shell-shocked women behind. They tried in vain to clean up their destroyed office, but all looked dazed. Some went home. Others sat at their desks, burying their faces in their handkerchiefs.  

"What was that all about?" Thu asked. "Why did they arrest Madame Phuong?"

"She is a member of the Vietnamese Nationalist Party," Lien said, picking up the scattered papers on the floor.

Thu remembered the New Year's Eve party, the heated discussion, the furtive looks. Had they been discussing the mutiny?

"They're arresting anyone with a connection to the Party now, in case they're connected to the mutiny," Lien continued. Then, remembering something, she looked up at Thu. "You mentioned the Nationalist Party when the news of the mutiny first broke," she said. "How did you know that they were involved?"

"I—I didn't. It just sounded like—like the type of thing they would do," Thu said lamely.

But Lien was not convinced. She stood up, her usual gentleness gone, replaced by fierce anger as her eyes bored into Thu's face with needle-like sharpness. "And how would you know what 'type of things' they usually do, then?" she asked. "I've been watching you, you're a strange one. Nobody knows where you come from, who your family is. Always going around with that photographer, sticking your nose into who knows what." Lien's voice rose. "Did you sell Madame Phuong out to the police? Are you a police spy?"

Lien's accusations were getting the attention of the rest of the staff. They all turned to Thu with suspicious eyes. If Mai were here, she would tell them how silly they were, and that they should focus on straightening up the office and getting some work done. But Mai was still on sick leave, and Thu could only stammer, "No, I'm not—you know I'm not—", before turning on her heel and running away, like the coward she was.

***

She ran back to the studio and sought comfort in Ralph's arms. But it was no good. The guilt she'd felt over Mai was back, only increased tenfold. She knew about the mutiny; she knew would be crushed; she had heard hints of their preparations at the New Year's Eve party; she could've warned Madame Phuong.

"But you can't have known that," Ralph said. "And what if you warned her and it led to some terrible consequences in the future? Like robots taking over?"

She knew he was trying to make her laugh, but this was too big a disaster for her to shake off. Her heart ached when she thought about Madame Phuong's beautiful villa in the modern day, all broken up and in disrepair, and her children. What was going to happen to them?

"They dragged her away like some common criminal," she said. "But she only believes that we should have independence, that we should be free to decide our own affairs. How is that a crime?"

"It's not, but she shouldn't align herself with violent radicals..."

His words stung. She sat up to face him, her nostrils flaring from anger. "And what is she supposed to do? We can't all be Gandhi. France is not Britain. Who do they think they are anyway, coming here and acting like they own the place? Like they own us?"

"I'm sorry," Ralph said quietly.

He looked so apologetic that Thu felt her heart softening. "You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault."

"But I worked for them."

"You left, didn't you?"

Ralph pulled her to him again, rubbing her back. "Is there anything we can do to help Madame Phuong?"

"I don't think so. The rest of us were lucky to not get arrested ourselves. She's going to die in jail, I know it." Thu knew Madame Phuong was going to be imprisoned in Maison Centrale, known locally as Hỏa Lò Prison. The name, which simply meant "stove" in Vietnamese, came from the nearby street which sold wood and coal stoves, but it also meant "Hellhole". It was an apt nickname. Thu knew all of its horror stories, though in her time, only the gatehouse remained as a museum. She buried her face in her hands and shuddered. "I can't stay here, Ralph."

Ralph's hand stiffened on her back. "What do you mean?"

All the romance and beauty and glamor of this time were only an illusion, a veil to hide the darkness underneath. She knew that now. Now the veil had lifted, the illusion gone. "I can't stay here," she repeated. "I've just been kidding myself. I can't live in a place where a girl could die just because she fell in love with the wrong man. I can't live in a place where you can go to jail for fighting for your own country. I have to go back to my time. It's not perfect, but at least we're free."

"But... how are you going to go back?"

She took a deep breath. "I actually found Homeless Pete a while ago," she said, not looking at Ralph. "When you got dengue fever, remember? I found him at the War Memorial. He's still there now."

Ralph took a while to respond. "You found him, but you... stayed?"

She nodded.

"To be with me?"

She hesitated and nodded again. He exhaled, as if his whole being depended on that confirmation.

"So stay now," he said. "Stay with me."

His eyes were fixed on her, squeezing her heart, making it hard to breathe. She looked down again to avoid those blazing eyes. "I can't," she said. "In about ten years, all this is going up in flames. Almost literally."

"We don't have to stay here. We'll go to England, or America, or anywhere..."

She hated to throw cold water over his optimism, the thing she loved most about him, but she had to. "You don't understand. Nowhere is safe." She couldn't imagine being an Asian woman in America after Pearl Harbor. Everywhere she turned, there was just more violence and destruction.

"Why? What's going to happen?"

"... Another world war. Longer and much worse than the last one. And once that's over, Vietnam gets another thirty years of war."

"Thirty years?!"

"Yeah. We didn't have peace until 1975." And decades of austerity and reconstruction afterward, that somehow were even worse than the wars. How many times had she heard those stories from her parents and grandparents?

"My God."

Ralph sat back, his arms slipping off of her waist to hang at his side.

"Come back with me," Thu said, suddenly emboldened.

Ralph was taken aback. "What?"

"Come back to 2023 with me." She had been turning this proposal over in her mind for a while, but now, when faced with the ugliness of the past, it didn't seem so absurd anymore.

"You mean... to stay?"

"Yes!"

"But—"

"Come on, what do you have here? You're wanted for desertion, your parents are gone, your sister doesn't care, the girl you love hates you—"

"God, I hope not."

Thu stared at him. He looked back with a sad little smile, and her breath caught when she realized he wasn't talking about Lauren.

"It seems I have a very specific type, don't I?" he continued, still with that sad little smile that broke her heart. "Girl from the future who wants nothing to do with me. That's my type."

"No, Ralph, that's not true." She took his hands, pressing them to her lips. "I want everything to do with you! That's why I'm asking you to come with me."

"How am I going to live there? What am I going to do for a living?"

"You can teach English. You can become a photographer. You can start a vintage photo studio, it'll be all the rage—there are lots of things you can do!"

"But how, when I'm some sort of persona non grata? You said it yourself, they have all these strict rules about ID and paperwork. How are you going to explain a man just appearing out of nowhere?"

"I don't know," she said, with wild abandonment. "We'll figure something out."

Ralph gazed at her for a long time, beseeching, searching for something only he knew. Then the fire in his eyes went out, and he looked away.

"... I'm sorry, I can't."

Thu dropped his hand. She had been so sure that he would say yes; she'd never expected to have to convince him. "Where's your sense of adventure?" she asked.

"I once ran away because of a girl, and look how it turned out for me."

His refusal cut her to the quick. Was he still that hung up on Lauren? Did he really think she would reject him in the same brutal way or abandon him to his fate? Did the past months mean nothing to him?

"So it's OK for me to stay here and brave war and famine for you, but you can't face paperwork for me?" she snapped.

As he kept looking away from her and saying nothing, her heartbreak turned into anger. She knew she was being unfair, but she couldn't help it. What did he know about war and suffering anyway? He was just a boy playing soldier.

But at least he's lived through a world war, that annoying voice at the back of her mind piped up again. All you've got is what you've read in books. If there's one that doesn't know real war and suffering, it's you. And at the first sign of danger, you're running away.

Ignoring that voice, she got up, went into the bedroom, pulled out her backpack, and started throwing her clothes into it haphazardly, careless of the soft silk and the smooth velvet. Ralph ran after her, seized her arms, and pulled her toward him. She pushed him away, but he held on. "I'm sorry," he said, over and over again. "Please—please don't go."

Somehow she was in his arms again, her face pressed into his chest, hot tears running down her face. "I can't," she sobbed. "It's impossible." That precarious bridge they were on had collapsed, and now they were floundering in the void of time, not belonging anywhere. How long could they stay like this before being consumed by that void?

"I'm not asking you to stay forever," he whispered. "Just for tonight."

"Why?" she asked, but made no attempt to move away. "Why draw it out and hurt ourselves?"

"So I can have some memories to carry with me."

She wanted to leave. Her mind was screaming at her to leave. As soon as she said no, she knew he would let her go. But her body wanted to stay. Her heart wanted to stay.

So she stayed. Just for one night.

"Okay," she said, and crushed his lips with hers.

This wasn't like their first time together, with those tentative kisses, those languorous touches, as they explored each other's body. Now they were desperately clinging to each other, holding on to each other so tight it almost hurt, taking each other in with every one of their five senses, filling every second they had with as much of each other as possible, knowing that there would be no more after this, that it would be goodbye. His frantic thrusts seemed to reach to the very center of her, sending through her an ache that was equal parts pain and pleasure, pushing her close, closer to the edge—

"Wait—" she panted, "slow down—I don't want it to be over yet—"

And he immediately did, easing his pace, keeping his forehead pressed to hers so their eyes never left each other's, while his hands and his lips stroked and caressed, drawing out that exquisite ache into a glow that left her gasping and burning for more.

But nothing could last forever, and soon, too soon, the heat blazed once more, and the slow rhythm now turned wilder, more frenzied as they were pulled helplessly into that fire, consumed by it.

"No—!" she cried out, trying to hold on to the moment, but it was gone, slipped away.

She didn't know how long they remained locked in an embrace afterward. They didn't talk. They didn't sleep. These moments were too precious to be wasted in sleep. She lay as motionlessly as possible, as if by doing so she could halt the flow of time. Keeping her mind blank, she tried to memorize everything about him, his face, the way his curls dropped over his forehead, the feel of him still inside her, his breath, hot and uneven, against her neck, and his hands, gripping hers so closely, afraid she would vanish into the night if he let go.

The cry of a bread vendor eventually roused her. That cry of "Hot bread! Hot bread fresh out of the oven!", still used by bread vendors in her time, reminded her of her old life, of what she had to do. With an enormous effort, she extracted herself from Ralph's arms, got out of bed, and put on her modern clothes, shivering in the early morning air. He made no move to stop her, simply followed her with his eyes, eyes that were no longer desperate but had grown sad with acceptance.

She went back to packing, taking more care with the áo dài this time. Unable to fit all of them into her backpack, she only took her two favorites—a pale green silk, and the burgundy velvet. The rest she folded into a neat pile. "Will you give these to Mai, please?" she asked Ralph. She wouldn't have time to say goodbye to the girl as well. "They're a bit long for her, but I hate for them to go to waste. Tell her—tell her I've gone back to Hong Kong or something."

He nodded. There was nothing else to say.

When he saw her take out the album he'd given her and put it on his bedside table, Ralph sat up. "What are you doing?" he asked. "That's yours!"

"But those are the only photos you have of me," she said. "I want you to have them, to remember me by."

"I can always print more." She hadn't thought of that. Seeing her hesitate, he jumped out of bed. "Dammit, I can take one of you right now!"

"In this getup, after that sleepless night?" she said with a rueful grin. "Not on your life."

"You always look beautiful to me."

He reached for her, but she pulled back slightly, shaking her head. "Don't," she said, and he dropped his hand, looking crushed.

"What about you?" he asked. "What do you have to remember me by?"

His pleading tone broke her resolve. She went to him, took his face between her hands, and kissed him, hard. "Do you honestly think I'm in any danger of forgetting, after all this?" she asked, once they drew apart for a breath.

"...Yes," he whispered, "and that's why I have to keep reminding you"—he pulled her back for another kiss, and another, and another, until she steeled her heart and turned away.

She then took an envelope out of the inner pocket of her backpack, where she had hidden all the money she had saved. She kept back a few bills and coins as mementos, and handed the rest to him.

"I believe it's enough for a steamship ticket out of Indochina," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I can't take this," he said.

"I have no use for it." She pressed the envelope into his hand. "Please, Ralph. Take it and go... somewhere. Stay out of the war. I'll feel better if I know you're safe."

"But how would you know?"

Thu thought about Doc Brown sending Marty a letter from the Wild West at the end of Back to the Future II. That wouldn't work here; there was no business reliable enough that was still operating after decades of wars and reconstruction. What still stood in her time that was accessible? Then she remembered. "You remember that cotton tree by the archaeology school?"

"Yes."

"It still stands in my time. If you do go home, leave me some sort of sign there, OK? I'll know that way."

He clutched at both the envelope and her hand for a moment, before letting go.

"Look me up on that goggle thing when you get back, will you?" he said.

Despite the lump in her throat, Thu had to smile. "Google," she corrected him.

"OK, Google. Maybe I will have become a famous photographer or something."

The forced cheerfulness of his voice, which contrasted with the look in his eyes, was unbearable. She nodded, knowing she would break into tears if she opened her mouth. Hoisting the backpack onto her shoulder, she turned, opened the door, and fled into the freezing winter morning.

***

She didn't remember how she'd found Homeless Pete. She must have gone to Robin Park, put the chocolate into his hand, and dragged him back to the IDEO Printing House with her, because the next thing she knew, she was back in the elevator as it shook and disintegrated and reassembled around her. When she opened her eyes again, the light was back on and Homeless Pete had disappeared once more.

She stepped out of the elevator. A gust of air-conditioned wind blasted her in the face, along with the smells of coffee and pastries. She looked around. She was back in the French Institute, standing in front of the boulangerie that took up the right-hand side of its entrance hall. People were hurrying back and forth, nobody paying her an ounce of attention.

She grabbed a woman walking past. "Excuse me, what's today's date?" she asked.

"First of September," the woman replied.

"What year?"

The woman shot her a curious look, but answered anyway, "2023."

September 1st, 2023. A clock on the coffee shop's wall told her it was just past seven PM. Homeless Pete had taken her right back. She had never left at all.

Dazed, Thu left the building and walked the familiar street back to the museum, dodging traffic by instinct rather than actual awareness. She would get her motorbike, which was still in the employee's parking lot, and get home.

As she reached the museum gate, however, a tall, dark shape out of the corner of her eyes caught Thu's attention and shook some of the daze out of her. It was the ancient cotton tree, its straight trunk rising above the museum, its leaves rustling by the octagonal roof. Dusk was falling, but she could still see by the light of the street lamps. She had to check... she had to know...

But even as she pulled out her phone, another fear reared its head in her mind. What if, since she'd returned to the exact moment she left, those months with Ralph had never happened at all? What if they had never met? But no, her necklace was gone. That told her that her six-month trip in the past did happen. She turned her phone on and inevitably flinched at her lock screen, which was set to a photo of her and Ralph. Trying hard not to look at it, she switched her flashlight on and shone it over the tree trunk while she walked around its base, checking it carefully inch by inch.

Her fingers felt it first—a difference in the roughness of the bark, a slight raise. Then her eyes saw it. Carved into the trunk of the cotton tree, just a little above her eye level, was that classic shape that anyone who had ever been in love would recognize—a heart framing two letters, R+A. It had been carved a long, long time ago, and the tree had filled in the deep groove, turning it slightly bumpy, making it easier to notice. R+A. Ralph and Autumn. That was his sign. He had gone home. He was safe.

Thu leaned against the tree trunk, heedless of its scratches on her forehead, and cried, half from relief, half from sorrow.

A/N: And that's the end.

I'm totally kidding! But we only have 2 chapters left, so the end is nigh...

#ralph penbury #ralph timewasters #ralph penbury fic #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fic #ralph penbury smut #ralph timewasters smut #joseph quinn smut #i've sufficiently recovered from that teaser clip of hoard so it's back to business

[scorbleeo]

Drama Review: The End of the World with You (Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu)

Source: Google Images

The world is thrown into chaos when the public learns that in just ten days’ time, a massive meteorite will hit the Earth, likely wiping out the entire human race. This horrific news has sent a young man working in a dead-end office job named Masumi Nishina into shock. But he soon makes peace with his destiny and decides to return to his college library, where he intends to read books in a tranquil setting while he waits for the end to come.

But this decision proves to be a major mistake – as it is here he is reunited with the man who ruthlessly broke his heart: Ritsu Kusakabe. Back in college, they were both in the same publishing club but parted ways bitterly. Masumi Nishina had hoped he would never have to set eyes upon Ritsu Kusakabe again, so cruel was the latter’s rejection, while Ritsu Kusakabe went on to become an IT hotshot. But with the clock ticking and just days remaining until the world comes to an end, they start to wonder if they should perhaps reignite their romance…and fill the remainder of their lives with passion.

Source: MyDramaList (2023)

What? Why? How?

How do I even begin the review for this drama? I did not find myself hating it but at the same time, I have so many complains.

First things first, this was way too slow paced for my liking. I rarely do well with slow paced shows and this is no exception. Baffling, I know, since The End of the World with You only had eight short episodes. I enjoyed the plot but goodness gracious, it was moving at a pace too slow for me. There were many times I considered not finishing this drama just because of how slow it was. Yet, oddly enough, I cannot imagine this drama with a faster pace. The pacing was right for this drama, just not right for me.

The other thing I did not quite like about The End of the World with You was Yuma's character arc. Coincidence, luck or just plain old supernatural shit, I still did not like it. I am not a morbid person but I actually enjoyed the idea of the world ending in this drama. You see, I am that person who believes Masumi and Ritsu will not last now that the world is not ending but I want them to be together till the end. Since Yuma stopped the world from ending, and because of what I believe in our main leads' relationship, there is no together till the end. Please don't fight me on this, I am too lazy to retaliate (or explain why) nor will I change my beliefs.

Also seriously, is there a deeper meaning to the idea of the world ending and then not ending?

On the bright side, there is something I truly loved in this drama and that is Ritsu's character. I loved that he does not sugarcoat the fact that he is the humanisation of a red flag. He made it obvious that he is vulnerable, he has issues and he does in fact having feelings for Masumi that he never had for other people. But he also made it clear that he has problems being a nice person when it comes to intimate relationships. He is a kindhearted jerk and he does not hide that.

Well, I am very sure I do not hate The End of the World with You and this drama still confuses me when I think about it. But, this is not a bad drama and unless you have bigger issues with slow-paced dramas than me, watching it would be fine.

Rating: ★★★☆☆ (3.5/5)

P.S.: Anyone else hated that river/pond kiss scene?

#drama review #the end of the world with you #bokura no micro na shuumatsu #japanese drama #bl drama #kusakabe ritsu #nishina masumi #hirose yuma #nakata keisuke #seto toshiki #tomimoto sousyo

[polikszena]

For a little bit of sunshine - Chapter 3

Fandom: Top Gun: Maverick

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Summary: He is one of the country’s best naval aviators, she is a dance instructor and a writer. He has been called back to Top Gun for an extremely dangerous mission, she is battling her insecurities. They meet at a bar. This is their story.

Relationships: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Female OC

Chapter 1 I Chapter 2

Chapter summary: After Rooster calls her in the fitness center, he and Maggie start seeing each other regularly, and while she doesn't dare to call these encounters dates, she starts to like him more and more which can cause problems.

Songs: Confio en Ti by Paulo FG; La Cubanita playlist

Word count: 2389

A/N: The chapter title is a salsa step, and it’s the one Maggie taught Rooster after making the poison joke, and it looks like this: https://youtu.be/Hq2OBXdCIfk Also, I have created a playlist for La Cubanita just to show a glimps what kind of music would be playing in it; you can find the link above in the Songs section. And the picture I used for this chapter is from here.

Chapter 3 - Enchufla complicado

“Hey, Maggie, there’s a phone call for you,” Keeley Morrison said handing her the reception desk’s telephone then she turned back to an episode of Bridgerton - or at least that was what Maggie assumed seeing the colorful costumes on her smartphone’s screen.

They were at the reception of the fitness center on the Navy Base where Maggie gave dance classes to the Navy people. She had just finished with the beginner group, having a break before the intermediate one started. It didn’t happen very often that someone called her using the center’s number instead of her own, so she could easily guess who was on the other side of the line.

“Hello?” she spoke, trying to keep a straight face, but she couldn’t hide her smile. Especially when she heard that familiar voice.

“I have questions about the step you taught me the other day,” Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw said. “Maybe you can show it to me again.”

“This is not college, we don’t have office hours,” she told him and her heart fluttered a little realizing that this meant that he wanted to see her again. “But I think I can make an exception.”

“There’s something I wanted to ask you,” Maggie began the next day when they met at La Cubanita. “Which one do you prefer: Bradley or Rooster? What shall I call you?”

“It’s up to you,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I listen to both. And if everything else fails, ‘hey you’ will also do,” he replied, half-joking.

“Be careful, I might stick to that one,” Maggie said with a chuckle.

“And what about you? Shall I call you Letdown?” he wondered.

“As I’m not an aviator, I’d prefer Maggie. I don’t really want to be reminded what a disappointment I am,” she admitted.

“As you’re not an aviator, maybe you can choose a new call sign,” he suggested.

“Too bad that this is the most fitting one,” she mused. She had been thinking about it quite a lot recently, but couldn’t come up with anything she actually liked. “So, what did you want to know about that step?” she asked, changing the topic.

It took them less than ten minutes to go through the step she had taught him the other night. It turned out he remembered it almost perfectly. Still, they spent hours together, chatting, laughing. Maybe even flirting, but Maggie didn’t want to think about that in order to avoid overanalyzing all the things. She didn’t want to spoil the fun.

That night was the first of many others they met after Maggie’s classes, or sometimes after the pilots’ training, grabbing a bite or a coffee somewhere. She learned about the death of Rooster's parents and the reason why he couldn’t join the Academy, and she told him about her father’s disapproval of her working for a publishing company and then writing romance novels, but they didn’t talk much about any of those things.  Their conversations mostly covered other topics: anything from movies of the ‘80s to chihuahuas dressed up as flamenco dancers. The only thing that worried Maggie was the possibility of Rooster not coming back from the mission. She didn’t know much about it, only that it was extremely dangerous and that it required all the skills of these young pilots. However, she kept pushing these thoughts aside trying to focus on the present, enjoying the time spent together as long as it was possible.

Especially when they were playing table soccer against two other aviators, going by the call signs “Sticky” and “Seagull” and they were at 4-4, although that happened thanks to Rooster and not to her. She had never been good at table soccer, although since she’d known him, she got somewhat better at it. However, not enough to be able to stop Sticky’s ball with their goalkeeper and lose the match.

Probably not because of her table football skills, but Rooster loved spending time with Maggie. She was just what he needed: a perfect distraction. Being with her, he didn’t have to think about Maverick, or the mission, as she was a civilian, but with her family serving in the Navy, she still had some insight on how things worked there. Also, she was smart and funny; a terrific dancer with a contagious laughter. Even thinking about it made him smile.

He looked at the dance floor of La Cubanita and she was the first one he noticed, dancing with Toni Álvarez, her long-time partner and fellow instructor. Rooster remembered that he felt somewhat relieved when Toni introduced his wife to him.

He finished his drink and once the song ended, he asked Maggie for a dance. As the next song started, a smile touched his lips: he knew this one; he danced to it over a hundred times in the dance school back in the day. He didn’t remember the title nor could he name the performer, but the familiar tunes gave him some extra confidence to lead her the way he wanted to: that she wouldn’t notice how much he still didn’t know about salsa.

Maggie couldn’t care less about what level he was on, and even though she would have some advice for him, she was just enjoying the dance. She wanted him to forget that she was a salsa teacher; she wanted him to lead her in a way he would do it to any other girl.

Rooster’s smile grew wider as their eyes met when he led a couple of mambo steps after a sombrero, which ended with the two of them standing next to each other with his right arm on her shoulder and her right arm on his. Seeing her face lighten up, his heart began to flutter because it meant that he made her feel good and it just gave him even more confidence to lose himself in the music.

It was an enormous cliché, but when Maggie’s gaze met his, she felt like the whole world had disappeared around them. As if no-one else had been there, just her, Rooster, and a solo saxophone. (No, actually it was Confío en tí by Paulo FG) Still, Maggie couldn’t see anybody else on the dance floor, only him. They had danced a couple of times before, but none of those felt this good. She was unable to wipe the smile off her face, and nor was he. He stopped caring about what level he was on, he just led whatever popped up in his mind and the steps came easier than ever. He felt so confident that at the end of the song he even tried to dip her which seemed a good idea at first, but when he bent forward, he lost his balance for a moment, and they almost fell over. She felt Maggie’s body tense and her grip strengthening on his shoulder. Luckily, he managed to find his balance again and pull her up.

“I’m so sorry,” he said with his cheeks turning red, feeling stupid for doing something he hadn’t practiced before. He didn’t even realize how close they were to each other, with his arms around her, her body pressed against his. The only thing he could think about was how badly he screwed this up.

Maggie, on the other hand, did notice their closeness. When Rooster lost his balance, she thought they would fall over, but when he pulled her back up and she ended up against his chest, her mind went blank. Even though she knew that naval aviators were well-built people, she was surprised by his strength as he held her in his arms.

“It’s okay,” she mumbled, blushing as she felt his scent crawling into her nose. 

Her gaze involuntarily slid down to his lips and she found herself wondering what it would feel like kissing him. Would his mustache tickle her skin or would it be more prickly?

The screeching of the DJ’s microphone snapped her out of her thoughts, making her realize that they were still at La Cubanita, surrounded by at least a hundred people. She also realized what she had just been thinking about and a wave of shame hit her, making her blush even more. She quickly stepped out of Rooster’s arms, unable to look at the aviator, not wanting him to see how flustered she was. Luckily, the DJ had just opened a rueda when the dancers paired up and formed a circle, all of them dancing the same steps, announced by a leader. It gave Maggie a good reason to leave as she had to find Toni Álvarez who was supposed to lead the whole thing. She apologized to him before disappearing in the crowd, leaving him with a growing shame and anxiety. She must be thinking I’m a clumsy idiot, he thought to himself. Perhaps he shouldn’t have dipped her, but it just felt right going for it. Apparently, it wasn’t a good idea. Such a shame, he thought, because he really enjoyed the dance and it seemed Maggie did, too. Until that fucking dip. He hoped he didn’t hold her too strong and hurt her in the process. 

”Aren’t you coming to the rueda?” Phoenix asked as she was heading towards the circle with Fanboy.

“No, not now,” he shook his head, then walked off the dance floor. The memory of Maggie stepping away from him was playing in his head over and over again, like a gif. Thoughts were racing on his mind, making up worse and worse answers to the question why she had left him like that. Oh, God. What if I smell bad? Yes, even thoughts like this one.

He tried to check it by sniffing his shirt, but it had no results. After taking a sip of his drink, he turned to Payback who was leaning against the bar next to him.

“Sorry for asking you this, but do I smell bad?” he wondered.

Payback let out a chuckle as he found the question quite absurd, but he did check it and said in a joking tone: 

“Well, my friend, you absolutely stink.”

***

The rueda made Maggie feel a lot better; she almost forgot about the whole dip incident, but arriving at the bar, it all came back to her.

“Where’s Rooster?” Phoenix asked.

“He went home,” Payback said with a shrug. “He wasn’t feeling well.”

His words made Maggie’s heart sink. She was sure it all happened because of her. What if he left because he realized she was thinking about kissing him? Of course, it wasn’t possible as Rooster couldn’t read her mind, but she couldn’t get this thought out of her head. What if he noticed the way I was looking at him? she wondered, and because she had no idea how she was looking at him at that certain moment, her imagination started running wild. She pictured herself desperately eyeing his lips, even puckering up her own and no matter how much she tried it, she couldn’t get it out of her mind. Until she realized that he had left while she was in the rueda, without any chance to say goodbye which could only mean one thing: he did notice it and he clearly didn’t want the same. In fact, he was running away from her.

She was on her way home when this thought hit her and she felt the disappointment spreading out in her chest. A bitter smile touched her lips, because it was familiar. Way too familiar. She did it again: she started liking someone and screwed it up before anything could have happened between them.

Being so lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice the light turning red, so she had to step on the brakes to stop the car, making a loud, screeching noise on the quiet street in the middle of the night.

Really? she asked herself. Do you want to start it again?

It wasn't that she wanted it, it happened. She was dancing on the edge and she slipped. That would be easy, wouldn't it? Desperately trying to find what you did wrong and when there's nothing, you decide it's all because you're an overall disappointment and thus, unlovable. As always. Nothing new.

No, nothing new. Despite all the hard work on herself, she was there again, sliding into that deep, dark pit. This cannot be. Tears stung her eyes as she looked up at the light turning green and she made the decision.

"No," she said it out loud. "Not this time." Not anymore.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down. What happened today doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like me, she reminded herself. And if he doesn't like me, then what happens? Well, it will hurt, but then I'll be back where I was before him. Even more, as I'll have a new lesson learned, but certainly no less. My friends and family still love me, so I'm not unlovable, even though I don't feel like that right now. I am loved and lovable and this shouldn't be affected by him not liking me enough. Perhaps he likes me as a friend and nothing more. And in that case what happens? I'll have a new friend which is always a good thing. And who knows, one day he might introduce me to a friend of his who happens to be the man made for me and then he can tell everyone in our wedding that it all happened because of him.

She could even see him with a smug smile under his mustache introducing himself as the matchmaker to everyone he didn't know. The picture drew a smile on her face.

See? I'll be alright whatever happens. Even if it doesn't look like it right now. Even if he likes me as a friend.

"I'll be okay," she said it out loud. "No matter what."

Yes, it hurt her that nothing happened, but the only thing she could do about it was to decide how much she would let these thoughts take over. Which was easier said than done. That's why it happened that once she arrived home, despite it being way after midnight and that she had just come from a dance party, she turned on her TV and started a Just Dance-session - her favorite and most effective distraction.

Chapter 4

#top gun #top gun maverick #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster x oc #my fics #bradley bradshaw #top gun maverick fanfiction #for a little bit of sunshine #dancing on the clouds below #maggie miller

[dancingsunflowers-ocs]

Your promised ask, my dear. <3

Share ten facts about Sidney and Chekov, pretty please!! 💙💙💙

I’m so sorry for answering this far too late, but I’m still loving these space cuties!! 💙💙💙 Thank you SO much @starlit-epiphany / @daughter-of-melpomene!! 😘

When Sydney first met Chekov through Starfleet Academy, they couldn’t stand each other. Sydney thought that he was too brash and Chekov thought that she was too reserved.

They soon became friends when Kirk saw that there was potential chemistry between the two and he assigned them both on a mission, in which they both work along side each other and both realised that they’re not that much different.

Sydney and Chekov teasingly call each other lioness and badger in reference to their Hogwarts houses.

Neither of them were jealous when the individual person were in romance relationships with another person. The only times when this happened were when Irina Galliulin (Chekov’s ex girlfriend from Starfleet) came back and when Sydney was briefly in a friends with benefits relationship with Kevin Riley (yes, the guy that sang “I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen” in that episode).

Despite Chekov being estranged from his own father, he encouraged Sydney to track down her birth father who is a well known and respected admiral in Starfleet. The two of them meet several times, which he confesses that he only thinks of her as a good friend, Sydney realises there will never be a parental bond between them and stops seeing him.

Since Scotty is the closest thing that Sydney has as a father, Chekov asks for his permission to propose to Sydney. As a plan, Sydney’s superior officer assigned her to the away mission the next day. Chekov was assigned at the last minute (With special permission from Captain Kirk, of course!!).

A blink later, they were standing on a planet. But…this wasn’t like the specs. It was supposed to be clammy and filled with murky water and swamp terrain. Instead, it was sunny and flower filled hills rolled for as far as Sydney could see. Chekov led Sydney into a small glen of trees, all heavy with perfumed flowers. In the heart of the little forest, was a tall grandmother tree where thousands upon thousands of dreamcatchers hung there. Chekov pulled a dream-catcher from his pouch. It was pretty, leather and sinew stringing together a vast array of natural stones. The centre was rose quartz, symbolizing love of course, Chekov was such a romantic. But the ends were different. Pink glass hung from all the ends except for one. Tied around the centre was…a ring. Which led to Chekov doing the Earth tradition, dropping down on one knee, which Sydney accepted his proposal.

On their first wedding anniversary, Chekov surprised Sydney with tickets for the both of them to watch Sydney's favourite theatre show; the old earth musical-theatre show Hamilton. (Let’s admit it, Hamilton would just as much of an old classic to them as Shakespeare is to us!)

When Sydney find out she was pregnant, both she and Chekov didn’t want to learn the gender until the birth, but they made a wager. If it was a girl, Sydney chooses the first name, and Chekov chooses the middle name. If it was a boy, Chekov chooses the first name, and Sydney chooses the middle name. (Even though, Chekov was very certain it was a boy!)

After a long and difficult birth, their son who they’ve named “Nikolay Montgomery Chekov” was eventually born. When he was was nearly two years old. He was a small boy that took strongly after his father, with his stocky figure, mop of floppy brunette hair and warm brown eyes. However, he had his mother's nose, and he was already exhibiting his photographic memory, just like Sydney. He was also already able to speak whole conversations in fairly complex complete sentences in both English and Russian, and it was clear he'd be smarter even than Chekov.

#oc: sydney berlin #fd: star trek #ship: sydney x pavel

[venus-pjo]

Where the rain doesn't fall

The rain lashed down on the queen of the gods as she walked through Olympus in the dark. Hera had only felt like this once before. She was to leave Olympus, without Zeus and her kids.

She stumbled out into the Mortal world, she looked around to make sure no one had noticed her sudden appearance, then procedded onwards. She flicked through houses for sale on her phone, then called up an agent about a Tudor-Style cottage she had her eye on. Within moments she was inside it. She didn't feel like doing anything, so she swiped her hand through the air so it was furnished accordingly and nicely. Her exhaustion got the better of her, and she was asleep before she hit the pillow.

Hera was going to have an Office Job in the building in front of her. She thought it would be the perfect place to begin. She was quickly shown around by a woman named Jane. Then Hera was led to her own office. It was in the left side of the humongous building. With pannelled windows going half way around. The whether had been terrible since she left Olympus, so she didn't have any point in looking out now. But over time, Zeus would go of with someone else. 'Okay, you work from ten, to six, on a Monday to Friday' Jane explained as they walked to the lunch area. It was only Saturday, but why not get shown around before you properly start.

She said goodbye to Jane at the door. Hera then decided to go clothes shopping, in the hopes of not having to wear the same thing everyday. As she walked, a storm rumbled in the sky above her. She soon arrived at the Mall. She passed shops full of tie-dye and books. But she went straight to the mens section. She didn't really know why, she just felt an urge. As she inspected a crisp white shirt, considering buying it for Ares, a man walked up to her. 'Hi! Umm, I saw you at work earlier? Its me, Teddy, the one who was sorting the papers when you and Jane came in?' He said it all qyite quickly. Hera turned to him. He was quite scrawny, and his hair was sort of a light brown. 'Ahh yes, I remember you now, Teddy Zevari? Is it? I'm Hera!' She smiled at him. There conversation contuined through that.

Two months had passed and no one on Olympus, except heras children themselves, had been able to visit her, talk to her, etc. Zeus was frustrated. He had tried to get Ares to tell him the truth, which only made Ares more keen to stay quiet.

Hera frantically cleaned her cottage, forgetting that she had powers. Damn her for not bothering to do any of it in the past two months. She had fixed it the best she could by the time the doorbell rang. Teddy stood outside, Nervously playing with his sleeve. Hera opened the door quickly. 'Come on in!' She smiled. He smiled back at her as he stepped inside. They watched a few episodes of the good place, then Teddy made hot chocolate, after that they waddled out into the snow. Teddy smiled as Hera attempted to build a snowman on her own. He managed to snap a picture.

By the time night fell, both Hera and Teddy were freezing. They shivered as they waited on one another showered and changed. They collapsed onto Heras bed together. Afted a few moments of silence. Teddy leaned forward. 'Wha-?' Hera never got to finish her sentence, as Teddy kissed her at that moment. She melted into the kiss pretty quickly. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she realized that she truly loved Teddy more then she'd ever loved Zeus. They pulled apart, breathless. Hera began to laugh. While Teddy started to smile. Thats where the romance started, and it was to continue.

Zeus paced his office in Olympus. Heras children all stood side by side across from him. 'Where is that damn woman!' He snarled. No one replied. Suddenly, all seven people, heard a loud buzzing nose. Zeus' eyes widened in fury, the sound, was an alarm ment to keep Hera from cheating. 'No….Ares fetch her.' He said in a flat voice. Ares turned to obey, but then seemed to remember something, and turned back to his father. 'No.' He mumbled. 'What was that?' Zeus stared in pure shock. 'No, I will not disobey my mother' Ares stated, looking up into Zeus' electric eyes. Lightening crackled in the air around the father and son. Then, Zeus electroucuted him. Ilyia, Enyo, Eiletheylia and Hebe gasped in horror as Ares fell limp before them. Hades ran in, he snatched the girls, and Hephaustus' arm, and fled from the room. All six of them stared in shock, as Zeus' whole office burst into white-hot flames. The children of Hera would've died if i weren't for their uncle. But then, they remembered the horrific scene of Ares when he fell unconsicous. He was still in there. Just as they thought both Ares and Zeus had died, an eagle flew from the flames. The same electric eyes glared at them as it flew away.

'Hera! There you are! Damn girl, you trynna impress someone?'. Hera turned to see her best friends, Jane and Heather appear beside her. 'I guess you could see that, its Teddy Zaveri from prints i'm going out with,' She laughed. 'No fricking way' Heathers eyes widened. 'Dude, that guys a nerd- and a hot one at that!!!' Jane laughed. 'I know, I know, but hes sweet too, and charming-' Hera was cut of by Teddy appearing before her. He held out a bouqet of roses, the mix of red and pink petals seemed to glitter in the sunlight. 'Thanks dear' Hera smiled. Teddy blushed and held put his arm as if they were about to dance. Hera interlaced her arm with his, and the couple walked away to Teddys car. The last thing Jane and Heather saw, was Hera resting her head on Teddys shoulder as they walked.

Things on Olympus were getting worse. Since no one could get into the office because of the flames. It seemed that they were impossible to put out. Ares' sisters and friends were worried sick. Aphrodite wasn't told about the incident.

Everything in Heras new life was great. She had an amazing boyfriend, great friends, a good job, nice people who she worked with, and a cute tudor-style cottage. Problem was, the whethar had changed, it looked as if it could strike at any second, just when you forget about it, it will strike.

It was the twenty-sixth of October. Hera and Teddy were planning a fancy dinner for Hera to meet Teddys kids from his previous marriage. Two girls, called Laura and Genevieve. His wife had died from lung cancer at the young age of twenty-three. But now the girls would have a new mother. 'Can't wait to meet the dears!' Hera smiled in excitement. Teddy grinned madly. 'They're gonna love you' 'You sure?' 'Definitely'.

The next day they were all sat at Teddys kitchen table. Genevieve warmed up to Hera pretty quickly, While Laura hated her. 'Hi laura, i heard you like books, specifically the Six of crows duolagy, so I bought you the second book, as Teddy told me you didn't have it' Hera smiled as she handed the book over. 'Hmm. Getting us things to go do other things so you can get close to dad? No way.' Laura slammed the book down on the table. Teddy gasped and gave a disapointed look to his daughter. 'Hera, i'm so sorry, i promise you she isn't usually like thi-' He was cut of by Hera standing up from the table. 'Its okay, i'll just leave' She said and walked out of the house into the lashing rain. It was just like when she left Olympus. 'Yeah! Leave the city! No one wants you here!' Laura jeered. Teddy gave her a stern look. While he scolded her, Hera was getting further and further away. 'Dad! Heras leaving! Seemingly for good!' Genevieve screamed. 'Vivi! What are you doing?!' Laura screamed back at her sister angrily. Teddy ran from the house. 'Hera!' He yelled as he watched her reach the crossroads. Suddenly, a burst of adrenaline seemed to pour into his body, and he bolted to her. He turned her around to face him. She stumbled back a little. 'Wha-' She was cut of by him kissing her. She kissed him back. 'Hera, please, Laura will come around soon' He said softly. 'Ugh, fine, I'll stay' She said with a roll pf her eyes. Yet she was smiling. He kissed her again, and this time, they held it. When they pulled apart, they were both breathless. They stepped away from eachother, just for a second, when tragedy hit. A burst of lightening dived from out of the rain, striking Teddy in the head. The last thing he heard, was Hera screaming curses at someone called….Zeus?

Ares woke up surrounded by white-hot flames. He recalled what happened, and why he was there. He tried to stand up, But agony flashed through his head, causing him to collapse back onto the ground, and it only hurt more against the rocky smithereens of stone from when the room had exploded. He instinctively shape-shifted into a black dog. More specifically a sausage dog. He rolled over onto his side, whimpering at the   pain. He reached out his paw, wishing Aphrodite, his mother or even enyo was here to rescue him. He slipped unconsicous again, as he waited for his savior.

Hera sat beside Teddy's hospital bed. She felt miserable. Zeus watched them through the window, in the form of an eagle. He found it rather intruging, and Hilarious. He had seemingly forgotten about Ares.

The other Olympians however, had not. Athena, Hephaustus and Artemis seemed merely uncomfortable by Ares disapearance. Apollo and Hermes still hadn't noticed, while Aphrodite, Dionysus and Hestia were worried sick for him. Demeter and Poseidon believed him to be dead. What they didn't know, was that things were about to get a whole lot worse….

Eight months past, and Teddy had finally woken up. He had a long scar from his neck to his hip now, but that was alright. He asked Hera to marry him on the spot. Of course she said yes. Zeus watched it with a fierce glare. He then flew to the mountain he had been raised on. 'Mother, I beg of you, please, aid me in my misson to destroy Teddy Zaveri' He stated. A green image of a woman appeared before him. 'Zeus, my dearest son, what you are asking for is too much, you are taking whats yours for granted' Rhea said gently, attempting to calm him. 'Please elaborate' His electric blue eyes stared into her green ones. 'Zeus, by killing Zaveri, you will anger Hera, she will gather the Olympians, the other gods, her children, her priestesses, etc. You will fail, and you will fall from the throne' Rhea explained. 'You are of no help' He snarled. And with a simple slash, the image of his mother shattered to bits.

Teddy grinned as he noticed the date on his calender. His wedding was tomarow. He heard a knock on the door and went to open it. An old man stood shaking outside. 'Why hello there young man! Does my wee Hera live here? I'm her granda!' The old man smiled as he shook Teddys hand. 'Err, no? But she will be here soon, i'm sure she would love to see yo! I'm her fiance, Teddy Zaveri'. 'I'm….uhh…Triacle tartington!' He smiled again. Teddy nodded, biting his lip in confusion. 'Would you like an apple?' Triacle gave a toothless grin. 'Sure, i'm quite hungry' Triacle passed him one. Teddy took a bite out of just as Triacle started talking about Snow white and Grimhilde. A knock on the door sends Triacle in a panicked flurry. 'Well I must be on my way! Send Hera my way at some point!'. When Teddy and Hera came into the room, Triacle was nowhere in sight.

Around midnight, Teddy started feeling very sick. He ran to the bathroom as he poured out half his stomach, (hypothetically). As he lay clinging to the toilet, with Laura and Genevieve in their rooms, Zeus appeared before him. 'You shall pay, for deeds of the future' and with that, Teddy fell unconsious.

Ares stumbled past the rubble and piles of dust. He was still in the form of a sausage dog, for some odd reason. He finally made it out. But something felt off about it. As if he was being watches. He looked around, but before he could do anything else, he was snatched and thrown into a bin bag. He tried to scream, but all that came out was an exagerated bark.

#greek gods #zeus #greek myth #hera #Ares

[castle-dominion]

6x5 time will tell

liveblog

Really can't see his face huh

Imagine if he was like a cartoon character & he was dead for like five seconds before looking up & his soul was standing there like "girl you're supposed to be dead" & then he drops & the soul finally floats back up.

sewer slide?

Lego a month already?

I mean I still ask my parents for permission bc I respect them & their judgement not bc I think I am less than them. she ALREADY signed the lease? "you're right honey & it was a mistake that I made at that age"

Mabe get beckett (who is basically alexis' future self) talk to alexis (beckett when she was a kid)

Didn't lanie love castle at first? "you sir have a gift for writing death" or smth? RC: A lot more lucrative, a lot less prison. Oh no a parole officer?

Oh I was WONDERING where ryan was.

Good. Call eachother a few times a month. Not super close but still sort of in contact.

RC: (to RYAN) Whatever crazy theory I could have come up with, this is better.

Meh only looks vaguely familiar. Reminds me of Diego in tua. Bible verses my beloved

Oh wait this guy IS that guy from the sketch My man has a grocery store scanner lol

Simon (john doe): Because. I’m from the future. RC: (low) This just became my favorite case.

Doyle? 2035, that is still over ten years from now.

SD: Ipso facto, QED I am not her killer. energy wars of 2031? don't you mean the helium wars? don't you remember my chemical romance's predictions about the killjoys in 2019? Also babe we HAVE other sources of energy, it's just that rich people don't want to lose their money on THEIR fuel sources.

Simon: I’m getting to that. Look – look. I’m a temporal anthropologist. What we do is travel back in time and we study culturally significant eras. Ancient Egypt, Middle Ages … man, I’ve been in Nazi Germany. I love how castle is into this

but he KNOWS NOW that it is 12:58 as a time, smth he didn't know in the psych ward. I love this man so much & I love how castle is so interested.

KB: For the sake of our future, please tell me you don’t believe that guy. RC: Oh, no. But you’ve got to admit, it’s a great story. KB: Really? KR: Ah, I thought it was kind of derivative. JE: Yeah, like a mash up of 12 Monkeys and Terminator. KR: nods. RC: Yeah, but it’s the way he told it. Total commitment. KB: Commitment that turned deadly. I mean, to maintain his delusion, Shauna had to die. He might not even know that he killed her. RC: Did you guys find out what this device was Doyle had on him? RC: holds up the scanner. KR: Yeah, tech says it’s just a bunch of junk thrown together. JE: What were you expecting, Castle? A time travel device? Dr. Who’s sonic screwdriver? He laughs. RC: You watch Dr. Who? JE’S laugh stops. KB’S phone beeps. GIRL LET HER WATCH DR WHO, IT WAS POPULAR AT THE TIME, ESP FOR WOMEN, SHE WAS PROBABLY A FANFICTION WRITER. WAIT THAT WAS NOT BECKETT, THAT WAS ESPOSITO. OK bro listen dr who is not a bad show, let him watch what he watches. at least it is not chiquitas or 2 cool for school.

Oh I forgot this was a lesbian episode lol

I don't think they would be allowed in this lesbian bar /j. Ooh new fanfiction idea: they let ryan in bc he looks like a butch lesbian.

Ah smart: We don’t have to. We had Veronica call him and tell him she’s been busted for solicitation. He thinks he’s coming in to bail her out. stock tips lol

What happened to the other psych for the cops?

When did he leave? do you have security footage? KR, sarcastically: and we’ll tell the DA what a swell guy you are.

Prison for years? that is a long long time.

always doing pushups always on alert lol.

His "mission" that would "change everything"

He could have been in a cult RC: unless he's the other time traveller Mom, watching me during my embarassing insane time: *laughing at castle making me decide to quote this*

Energy conference? energy wars? “destruction of the rightful kingdom of God by science and technology”. lmao insane

I don't understand that timeline castle tried to make

KB: Why don’t you guys go back in time All of them (laughing) KB: and see if you can dig up any of Ward’s known associates from six years ago.

Alexis hung up on him!!

Beckett is so smart & wise as an adult woman I won't clip this but wow alexis & her tiny hand

noooo he's already dead uwu crosswords

The child?

PHYSICIST? TIME TRAVEL! ENERGY SOURCES? BLACK HOLE? ALL THIS STUFF

Dr Wickfield, on video: Well, the work is very exciting. the work: *is math*

Esposito wearing nice outfit today.

Hastings is so right lol but also so wrong lol.

Nuts; Paranoid, things about the future, cleansing, this guy is kind of culty what bridges did he HAVE? Hastings: He said the electromagnetic field made it harder for the government to find him. I told you, the guy was crazy.

not giffing castle waving his hands at the energy plant lol outr vows

f u beckett.

Someone has been there beckett? probably a teen smoking pot.

effede up how cops can just walk around with all their guns out like that.

All those clocks on the walls?

Ok now I need to stop this bc my uncle is here & we are watching our stuff that we watch with him now & besides, it is time for me to stop.

I'm back! I only have a few hours before work but you know money is necessary to live!

Wow I missed what happened with that heck of a fight scene

Was my man actually tracking ward? Great sound it made lol

They just cuffed him here? What if ward comes back?

So wait she DOES become senator? Remember the s7 finale? Three kids including of excluding alexis? Don't tell them that much, that would mess up the timestream He writes serious literature? There is a t & also beckett even if he is delusional you need to be on his level.

RC: For your information, I wasn’t sharing details of the case. I was playing into his delusion to see what he knew. was he retroactively saying that?

Six years ago! Remember that?

Kid is not a high school student anymore SD: Hey, can I make a suggestion? (CASTLE nods like he’s listening) Ward. He was working off a photo of the letter. So perhaps the easier path is to ask, where’s the original? It’s bound to have the kid’s name and address. My man is actually smart

Ryan's nice tie Esposito's s1 outfit If I were her I'd be looking at date but then after that I'd look for browned letters

Dun dun dun not the child be des-chile See? university now

Doyle is soooo good. Everyone is watching him jump up & down in his cuffs with his videogame theory I just love it sm

Ooh planetarium, RC: The planetarium is all the way uptown. We’ll never get there in time. Send a patrol unit that is already in the area maybe?

Ooh this is beautiful, I love it. Oh no murder guy. Ward would just kill this kid in the middle of the observation? How did esposito get there so fast?

You ok honeybun?

My man is just not saying anything Love him Lol his creepy smile I love it. He looks like he really wants to say smth. Like he's... not nonverbal not semiverbal not selectively mute, what is the term? I have an autistic friend that sometimes has bouts of being unable to speak. Or theoretically able to speak but practically unable.

Ah PD: I’m the one who alerted security to Ward’s behavior at the energy conference six years ago. They stopped him because of me. KB: see? irl explanation RC: Yes. Now we know why Ward tried to bomb that conference. To kill Deschile. See, in the future when the famous Deschile were giving interviews he’d say that’s where it all started. Consequently Ward will know exactly where and when to find him. KB: You’re trying to drive me crazy, aren’t you? RC: Well, apparently I already do it - we end up with three kids. He wiggles his eyebrows. She bites her lip and tries not to roll her eyes. SD: Like to know their names? RC: yes KB: no

KB: What abt your psych eval? SD: Oh, please. Are you kidding me? I passed that with flying colors. You should have heard the crazy stuff coming out of my mouth. Growing up in Denver, middle class family. Man, I haven’t lied that much years. I love him soooo much

Never been in a psych ward? But from the future. lmao I love this one so much jfsldjdksklfj SD: Oh wow. I don’t have much time left. Um … (he shrugs) I'un'ow… see you in twenty years.

RC: (laughs) Is it just me or does that make sense? KR: No, it’s just you. (not clipping)

My boy just disappeared & the MUSIC lmao I LOVE THIS SM

She just ruined evidence lol dun dun dun SHE was the one to spill the coffee! & her thing is already dry?

So ig time travel is real?

Oh no I forgot alexis was moving out!

If she's making a huge mistake, then it is her mistake & it is important to make mistakes!

AC: Who are you always saying is the smart one in the family?

Big sad. rly good ep, also time travel

#castle 6x5 #castle 6x5 spoilers #castle 6x5 quote #castle s6 spoilers #bc alexis moves in with pi #the time travel episode

[imagines--galore]

||Mind Over Matter|| Part Three

Summary: Evelyn is Penelope Garcia's protegé. She is a tech wiz, and knows her way around any kind of security and just like her mentor knows how to dig deep and get into the past of anyone and has a knack for anything with a chip in it. Including potato chips. The one thing she fails at is figuring out is the mind and how it works. Rated T for blood and language.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Evelyn Richardson(OC)

Rating || Genres || Warnings: T+ Romance. Adventure. Family. Some language, blood and violence in later installments.

Previously - Part One, Part Two

A/N: Alright so this is the first part of this chapter. The bloody thing got too long and I had to split it up. But don't worry the next chapter will be up soon. I promise. :)

Takes place during episode five, season one

Evelyn slung her messenger bag over her head, giving a small friendly smile to the security guard as she picked up her phone from the small basket she had dropped it in before passing through the metal detector. She always showed the security guard her pass but this was just a cautionary step. Walking into the bullpen she smiled catching sight of Morgan and Spencer as they walked by, the latter holding several files in his arms. Walking up behind them she noticed one of the female agents talk to Morgan before heading her way. She frowned, curious as to know what they were talking about. She walked up to Morgan's side, peering around his taller frame to see her two companions look at a couple of agents glance at Morgan, give a little laugh, a wave and a wink and then head their way. The red head shook her head.

"Ever the ladies man, Derek Morgan, ladies and gentlemen." She commented, finally catching the attention of her two team members. Morgan smiled, not at all phased by Evelyn's sudden appearance. She had a tendency to pop up out of nowhere. It was a gift, she had once told him, to be small and unnoticeable. The young doctor meanwhile had been slightly startled by her appearance but he quickly recovered giving his own input to the situation.

"Must be tough man." He muttered as the three of them rounded the corner, entering the bullpen.

Morgan chuckled. "Not really." He commented, his tone as carefree as his gait. Spencer turned to look at him, frowning slightly.

"Wh-what do you mean?" He asked, confused over the lack of reaction. "You don't do anything and these girls are just throwing themselves at you." Evelyn grinned as she waved at Elle passing by.

"Strictly off limits Reid." Morgan said in a slightly serious tone.

Reid's frown only deepened. "Theres no code of conduct that agents can't socialize.

"Yeah! Well my code of survival is: 'Never mess with a woman carrying a gun.'" The dark skinned man explained, patting Reid lightly on the back.

"Or those who know how to choke a man using her thighs." Evelyn commented, dropping her messenger bag on her desk.

Morgan nodded in agreement, as he sat down on his desk. "That is a life lesson my friend." He said, his comment directed towards Reid who was looking slightly bewildered yet fascinated at the same time. Evelyn smiled one last time before turning towards her desk and pulling her latest project towards her.

Evelyn had two desks. One was in the Tech office, while the other, more messier part of her desk, was in the bullpen, located directly across from Reid. While the desk inside the Tech Heaven was neat and tidy this one was cluttered in what could only be categorized as organized chaos through which only the red head could navigate. She was currently working on pulling apart a walkie talkie trying to put in a more sophisticated speaker, which would allow the user to cover more area without any detection. Her goal was at least ten miles. When she started on a project Evelyn would get so lost in it that she wouldn't even notice the time let alone the people around her. So when someone placed a hand on her shoulder she jumped, almost stabbing herself with the small screwdriver she had been using. As she heaved deep breaths to calm herself she heard Hotch's voice.

"Evelyn! You're coming with us for this case. We're gonna need you to set up all the equipment." The red head looked up, watching Hotch march away, confusion written all over her face.

"W-what case?" She asked Spencer as he slung her shoulder bag over her head and pulled her out of her chair. He gripped her wrist pulling her towards the exit.

"I'll explain in the car." He offered.

                                               ————————–

Having a father who was in the military meant that she moved around a lot so flying was second nature for her. After getting over the initial shock of being taken to a case and after being briefed on what the case was Evelyn sat in a chair by the window, feet pulled up, case file resting in her lap, her eyes skimming the page, her lips moving as she read.

"Everyone familiar with the father?" Hotch asked, turning everyone's attention to him. Reid, of course, took charge in telling who he was.

"Evan Davenport, U.S. Attorney, executive assistant southern district, New York. Widower. Assigned U.S. Marshals 3 times in the past 10 years due to death threats."

"Is the protective detail still current?" Morgan asked as Evelyn sat up and frowned.

"With all that security howcome his daughter was kidnapped?" She asked, confusion lacing her voice.

"Around the clock, but Trish declined protection when she turned 18." Hotch clarified, turning to look at the youngest member of his team who nodded in understanding.

"Too bad for the boyfriend." Morgan muttered under his breath.

"But why kill him?" Reid inquired. Evelyn knew this was where their profiling abilities came into play.

"Well, if I'm gonna kidnap someone I know I have to take out whoever's with them." Morgan quickly replied, his eyes scanning the file he was going through. Noticing something he frowned as he asked.

"It says here she's got a sister."

"Cheryl." Hotch said not even looking up from his file.

"Any problems? Were they close?" Morgan asked, getting straight into the case.

"Yeah. They're identical twins." Spencer commented showing a photo of twin girls on cheerleader uniforms, smiling at the camera, striking the same pose.

                                               ————————–

Evelyn frowned in thought as she walked into the Davenport house, taking everything in. As a technician she always looked around to see how up to date the family or the occupants of the house was simply by looking at their television or sometimes lack thereof and even the alarm systems at times. She was hardly listening to what the man of the house, Davenport, was saying but she did manage to catch the last bit of his little speech.

"Sorry." The poor man looked so tired. Evelyn's heart went out to the worried father. As a daughter she had an idea on how worried a father could get when his child was in danger. "I just feel like I'm suffocating here. I just want somebody to tell me that she's okay."

"Doctor?" Gideon called out, catching said man's attention. "Reid! What do the statistics tell us?" He asked, knowing the young doctor would already know he was talking about the kidnapping.

"If you follow their instructions and give them the money your daughter will be returned." Spencer said. Even though he didn't show it, Evelyn knew he was trying to ease the man's mind. She doubted it would work but her friend got points for trying at least, in her books.

"Done!" A voice called out. Evelyn looked up to see an FBI Agent looking towards their little group. "This house is bug free."

"Alright!" A man in a suit, whose name Evelyn had already forgotten called out, motioning for people to come into the house. She knew he was in charge of security. "Bring it in!" A couple of men walked in carrying the equipment they would be needing for the case. Evelyn frowned lightly. She had asked Gideon and Hotch if she could bring her own equipment but had been told not to. The red head felt most comfortable with her own equipment but in her case she never really had a choice. Nodding, as she saw all the equipment pass by her she turned to Gideon.

"I'm gonna go set everything up then." She said, before walking off into the living room where all the equipment would be set up.

                                               ————————–

It only took her a little while to set up the entire station. She picked up a pair of headphones testing them by calling the phone with her cellphone. Everything seemed to be in order and there was still time to spare before the kidnapper called. She watched as Gideon, Spencer and Davenport approached her little work area.

"Mr. Davenport? This is Agent Evelyn Richardson. She will be handling all the calls and will be trying to locate the signal from where the phone call is coming in from as well." Evelyn gave a slight nod in the older man's direction before removing the headphones she had on and handing them over to Spencer, who was standing right next to her.

"Alright, Mr. Davenport. I'll just be giving you the main instructions on how everything works." She said, moving to stand next to him and her fellow agent.

"This button answers the call." She said, pointing to a button, before pointing to another one.

"While this button makes everyone in the room silent. When it does it'll flash red. You'll be able to hear his side of the conversation. He won't be able to hear us." She turned her head to look at the older man.

"Is that alright?" The man nodded, not taking his eyes off the two buttons.

                                               ————————–

It was a few minutes before the kidnapper could call. Evelyn walked into the kitchen, grabbing a clean glass pouring herself a drink from the faucet. She turned just in time to see Morgan and Elle enter the kitchen.

"You think Cheryl's a whack job because she claims she can feel her sister's anxiety?" Elle asked Morgan who quickly denied her statement, while Evelyn gave a small snort, earning herself a glance from the taller agent.

"Actually there may be a physiological basis for it." Spencer said, having heard the conversation, as he walked in the kitchen. Evelyn shook her head as she moved forward a fond smile on her face as she prepared herself for her friend to start talking.

Morgan on the other hand gave a mock sigh. "Don't ask." He muttered under his breath, his comment directed towards Elle.

"Reversed asymmetry monozygotic eggs split late between 9 to 12 days. The DNA matches right down to the very last stranded code and there's sporadic documentation of shared physiological pain."

Elle and Evelyn shared smiles when the young doctor finished with his little explanation while Morgan sighed exasperated.

"And you believe it?" He asked, slight challenge in his tone.

"No, I'm just saying it's possible. I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do." Spencer commented, giving a small smile.

"I never said that." Morgan denies. He turned to look at his two other team members. "When have I ever said that?"

"Every day since I met you." Spencer commented.

"This morning at breakfast." Elle reminded him.

"While we were on the plane." Evelyn shrugged.

"Yesterday when he beat you at cards." Even Hotch could not keep from putting in his own input. "Um...we've got one minute." He reminded checking his watch, before walking back to the living room. Evelyn patted Morgan's shoulder in a soothing manner as she walked by him.

"Anybody ever heard of sarcasm?" Morgan asked, trying to gain back a bit of face with his team.

The rest of the team made sounds of agreement which sounded more like sounds of disagreement to Morgan.

                                               ————————–

The sound of the clock striking was loud and clear. Each chime seemed to bring about more and more tension and nervousness into the room. Evelyn was sitting down next to Mr. Davenport, her screen opened in front of her, her hands poised over the keyboard so that she would start a trace for the phone signal as soon as the call came through. She really hoped the kidnapper wouldn't be using a disposable cells. Those were hard to trace.

Everyone was waiting and sitting patiently as Gideon and Hotch coached the father what to say when the phone started ringing. Everyone from the B.A.U. Team grabbed a set of headphones. With one last piece of instruction Gideon nodded in her direction and she flipped the switch, picking up the call.

The situation had quickly gone from bad to worse.

The man had called and made his demands but he had wanted to talk to Cheryl and not the father. He had even asked her to drop the money off at the location. Of course Hotch and Morgan had gone after her to make sure she would be safe. And it was there that they figured out that this was just an effort to kidnap Cheryl as well. They had rescued her and brought her back safely. As soon as they had gotten back the phone had started to ring. Evelyn was right beside the accept button and when Morgan gave her the indication she pressed it.

"That was fun, wasn't it? A little running around, getting our pulses racing." Everyone in the room kept quite. Evelyn could feel her disgust rising each passing second at the man. He was sick.

"Are you there, Cheryl?"

Silence.

"Are you there?!" He asked once again, a little more forcefully then the last time.

Cheryl looked like she was about to reply but Morgan gave her the signal to not to. Nobody in the room spoke so the kidnapper decided to start speaking again.

"Tell me you didn't feel a slight tingle, a thrill run up your spine. Huh?" Evelyn glanced in Morgan's direction to see him meet her eyes. She quickly pointed towards the record button silently asking if she should turn it off. Morgan shook his head only slightly. She nodded.

"But those clever and cunning FBI agents deduced my little plan just in time." The kidnapper continued. "They figured it out. If they hadn't, I would have had you both. The whole set. The matching pair."

Evelyn heard movement beside her and felt herself being pushed aside when Cheryl lunged to answer the man, even though Morgan indicated her not to.

"Why are you doing this?" She demanded, her tone laced with anger.

"Because you asked me to, Cheryl." This man was crazy!

"You asked me with your glances. The way you talk. Those little gestures." Alright. This man had officially earned a place in the looney bin. He was mad!

"You asked for this! You asked for it, Cheryl!" The man clarified as if the point was not getting across.

"Cheryl." Morgan warned his tone low. Yet it did not have any effect on the young woman.

"What do you want?" The distressed twin sister demanded once again.

"What do I want?!" His tone had gotten angry, which was not good. Evelyn may not have been a profiler but she was getting nervous by the minute. "You! It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow but I promise you, we will be together."

The line clicked and the call ended.

#spencer x reader #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x oc #mind over matter #criminal minds imagine

[sophiaforevs]

HEY I’m going live on tumblr for the new Star Trek: Lower Decks episode (s3:e6)!

And by that I mean, I’m going to pause the show frequently while I type my reactions into this blank white void b/c tumblr doesn’t really have a “going live” option, nor would I want it to.  Spoilers after the break! (as soon as I remember how to break)

OH HEY, I FIGURED OUT PAGE BREAKING!!!

Anyway,  I think it's safe to say LD is my least favorite ST series (that’s a discussion for another post) but I got fucking chills when they got to DS9 and played the music. "Pretend we're in awe of the pylons" my ass. I AM in awe of them. I'll awe them all day.

Really hate how they’ve played the Mariner/Jennifer “romance.” At the end of season one, the writers claimed they “saw all the characters as bi being the baseline” or something but claimed they really intended for Mariner specifically to have had multiple romances with multiple genders and thought that was enough for bi-rep.  The fans told them they were wrong and they apologized and said they’d fix it.  Then in season 2 they gave us a single scene of Mariner and Jen in a bar at the very end of the last episode.  We’re six episodes out of ten into season three and this is the first time Jen has shown up (actual Jen, not nightmare Jen).  I’m not bi, so listen to anyone who is over me, but this doesn’t feel like good bi rep.  This feels baity to me.  I know that Mariner needs time to grow and be better but I don’t want them to think it counts as good queer rep to have a character occasionally mention their same-gender romance but never actually depict anything.

Okay, so I’m seeing very few starfleet officers on DS9.  Apart from the Ceritos crew, I haven’t seen any.  This makes me think the station has been completely turned over to the Bajorans.  I also wonder what this means for Bajor’s place in the Federation.  They hadn’t joined the Federation as of the end of DS9 but Picard showed Federation territory extending beyond Bajor (it could just be a protectorate without having actually joined).

Kira. My love. She’s got Sisko’s baseball. Ugh, my heart.

Heh, Kira and Shax are fighting over who saved who more.

Quark. My love.

Morn. My love.

Quark dealing with long lasting resentment from the Dominion War is really fascinating.  Quark wants people to believe that he only cares about business but seeing his other motivations and how he’s hurt and how that pain plays out is so interesting.

Nope, never mind, he just stole their shit and didn’t want to be caught.

“I like that you don’t take shit from anyone... I know my friends can be a bit much, I’ve been looking forward to you tearing them a new one. Go destroy them.”  I like Jen.

#Star trek #star trek lower decks spoilers #lower decks #STLD #DS9

[littlebookreader]

Martin, making breakfast at 6am: Good morning, Jon.

Jon, going to sleep at 6am: …Morning?

#the magnus archives #Martin Blackwood #jonathan sims #jon jarchivist #some more imaginining of what #ten episodes of office romance were like #tma incorrect quotes #but is it really #well #let's see #we know that one is a morning mart and one is a night j #this is just an excuse to write #jmart #teaholding #cause I have no theories #except.... #awww #here you go

[bigtittydemonwife]

Life in the Slender mansion with a serial killer harem Part One Feat: EJ, Jeff, Jane

a/n: Guess who's back bitches

I had a mental breakdown, got kidnapped by jeff, lived that (y/n) life, cleaned my room at 3am, stayed in my bed for a week while binge watching the same two minecraft youtubers, dyed my hair red and came back swinging.

this is simply self indulgent crack living that mAiN ChArAcTer MaRy SuE (Y/n) life which also borders on yandere

_______________________________

Living day to day in a place like the slender mansion can be strange to say the least, on the worst day it's lying in bed staring at the ceiling to a Courage The Cowardly Dog episode that been playing on repeat for an hour that you can't be bothered to change while disassociating so hard your ceiling doesn't even look like a ceiling and you can't remember how words work or what colors exists anymore.

and on the good ones you can look at something that looks like a lovecraftian horror and tentacle hentai had a child standing in the living room yelling at a teenage boy who looks like he listens to my chemical romance close to stabbing each other to death and you just gotta say whack and go back to making burnt toast.

It's odd to say the least, but at least the company isn't all that bad. at least to you.

To start off there's Jack.

Eyeless Jack to be precise but you always just called him Jack, after all if you lost your legs you were 100% sure you would not want to be called Legless (Y/n), like, way to rub salt in the wound how about I call you fatherless Jeff would you like that? No? I didn't think so.

Anyway, Jack is probably the one with the closet connection to his humanity despite being arguable on of the ones furthest from it when it comes to blood, at least on his good days.

Jack still puts his knowledge of medicine to good use and became the doctor of sorts to the mansion, if you we're injured weather it was a sore stomach or broken ribs Jack knew how to treat you, the extent of how he helped you depended on how much he liked you on a scale of one to ten.

Anything from a 1 to a 3 means a quick run though of help and what to you and helped back to your room if he had too, other than that unless you came back to him he was officially done,

a 4 to a 6 he puts more work into it, while he may not be super nice he won't be rude, he'll have a softer touch when he treats you and will stop by every now and then to check on you.

a 7 to a 10 is very unlikely, this Jack cares a lot for that person and will do anything sort of healing them himself and monitoring their health constantly.

On this scale you are an 11, if Jack isn't forcing you to stay in his office until you get better he's almost always in your room checking in on you like a mother hen, but it's not awful, after all if your injured and lonely Jack is very charming and an amazing conversationalist, you've found he's not only book smart but socially and morally smart. the conversations you've had been with have been some of your most interesting and enlightening.

Then on the opposite border of this is Jeff, Jeff is....if a cat became a person. He's not a good person, morally speaking no one in the mansion is, but Jeff is the easiest to villainize due to his already menacing and disrespectful attitude, but despite this Jeff isn't always like this.

Sure he's a cocky jerk with the attitude of a angsty teenage boy but that's to be expected, and Jeff isn't completely mean all the time, he just shows his emotions differently than most people.

for example, Jeff prefurs a teasing quip to a compliment most of the time, or a headpat to a hug but he's very protective, He's like a flea covered stray cat you find in the alley and bring into your house, it hisses and scratches but if another cat tries to sleep on your bed a genocide is being committed.

Jeff at day is a different person at night, the comfort of the darkness can bring out a difference in everyone. The loneliness of the night tends to remind Jeff of the similarities in himself. No matter what, there's a rule, Never bring up what Jeff says at night during the day.

Then there's Jane. beautiful women, goddess among mortals. Jane is naturally a very kind person, especially to people she cares about, Jane is less possessive at least noticeable so, since she really sees you as a friend she can't bare to do anything that would hurt your feelings or make you feel bad.

Jane morally sees things as black and white, good or evil, to her there really is no between, and even if she had to turn evil to herself and her morals she saw it as a lesser evil if it was taking down someone worse. Which means she sees you as good, it doesn't matter what you do to her you're an angel who can do no wrong. She truly loves who you are as a person no matter what you look like or choose to be,

Love can make you blind and in Janes case love pulled a Rika scratched her eyes out gave her glasses with no lenses and said "try"

#cp #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta fanfic #crepypasta imagines #jeff the killer #jeff the killer imagines #Jeff the killer x reader #eyeless jack #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack imagines #jane the killer #jane the killer x reader #jane the killer imagines #scenarios #cp x reader #creepypasta scenarios #cp scenarios

[pintsizemama]

Heroes & Heartbreak

Chapter 1

Summary: Javier Peña and Steve Murphy are summoned to help Carrillo with interrogating an accomplice of Escobar. They are shocked to discover who this ‘accomplice’ is.

Pairings: Javier Peña x OFC Ariana Morgan

Fandom: Narcos

Rating: Explicit 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5,652

Warnings: language, violence, torture/beating, descriptions of injuries and pain, discussion of murder, kidnapping, mentions of misogyny, allusions to domestic violence, teenage romance resulting in pregnancy, pining, dirty thoughts, allusion to possibility of sexual assault...let me know if I missed anything, and I’ll happily add it here!

A/N: So, this starts around episode 4. This is going to be a multi chapter story that will follow along the three seasons of the show and beyond. The timeline of the show and the real timeline of events aren’t always accurate, so some of the future chapters may be wonky, but I tried to make everything work best for this story. Also, in this series, Escobar is ten years older...so he would have been 52 when he dies, not 42....only way I could make the age of my OFC work. I’m just guessing how the DEA handled info with foreign authorities. Please, please, please let me know if my Spanish translations need improvement! This is just a working title, it may change. I hope you enjoy it, and please feel free to leave me feedback!

Series Masterlist Masterlist AO3 Chapter 2 Join my taglist

Javier

“Peña,” Javier Peña said curtly into the phone.

“Peña, I need you guys down here right away,” Horacio Carrillo said on the other end of the line.

“What’s going on?” Javier asked.

“I have a big lead on Escobar. I’m interrogating an accomplice, but I need your help.” Javier stiffened slightly. The slight tension was not missed by Steve.

“We’ll be right there,” Javier said. “Same location as last time?” He heard Carrillo’s grunt of confirmation and hung up.

“What’s up?” Steve asked, rising from his chair and putting on his jacket.

“Carrillo needs help interrogating an accomplice. Said it’s a big lead,” Javier answered gruffly as he stood and put on his own coat as well. The partners glanced at each other with slight trepidation. They stood for a moment, hands on hips, looking at each other. With a small sigh they exited their office. Carrillo’s interrogations were never easy and usually stayed with them long after.

They traveled to the isolated building where Carrillo liked to perform his “interrogations” in silence. They walked briskly down the stone steps. They could hear the sounds of flesh violently meeting flesh and the grunts of the poor bastard who was unlucky enough to have fallen into Carrillo’s clutches. They reached the end of the steps and made their way into the large, open room.

“Ah, Murphy, Peña,” Carrillo called out as they approached the small group. Directly in front of them they saw the back of one of Carrillo’s men, slightly hunched over a metal chair, blocking the prisoner from their view. His knuckles were bloody and bruised. Carrillo stood calmly off to the side along with Trujillo and another man. Their hands all seemed to be in a similar state to the man in front of them, and the Americans noticed some bloodied tools and weapons scattered across a table behind them. As soon as the DEA agents reached the man in front of the prisoner, he straightened up and slowly backed away to join his colleagues. Steve and Javi stopped in their tracks as they took in the scene before them.

Tied to the chair was not the hardened, evil criminal they were expecting of an accomplice of Escobar’s. No, tied to the chair, bloody and beaten, was a small woman with long dark hair. Javier heard Steve swear beside him. When her current attacker moved away, and Carrillo’s words reached her, she looked up at the two men who had just entered the room. Her face had taken quite a beating. There was blood and swelling, but they could still see her features beneath the grime and gore.

Javier sucked in his breath at how battered her face was.

“What the fuck,” he hissed between his teeth. His enraged gaze turned to Carrillo. “What the fuck are you doing, Carrillo?” he spat at him.

“I’m interrogating an accomplice,” Carrillo said calmly. “You’ve seen me do this countless times.”

“You’re beating a woman!” Steve yelled. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Don’t let her fool you,” Carrillo insisted. “She took down three of my men before we were able to restrain her.” Javier rushed forward and dropped to his knees in front of the woman. He gently cupped the side of her face to raise her eyes to his. She had violet eyes. Christ, he didn’t even know someone could have eyes that color. Tears clung to her thick, long lashes.

“No te preocupes,” (Don’t worry) he said gently. “Te sacaré de aquí.” (I’m gonna get you outta here.) He saw the quick flash of gratitude in her eyes before she looked away. Javi stood back up and turned to the Colombians. “Release her,” he demanded. Carrillo, arms crossed, slowly shook his head and chuckled.

“I haven’t gotten the information I need yet,” he answered simply. “When she tells me what I want to hear, then, maybe, I’ll release her.” Steve and Javier stared at him in horror.

“This is taking it too far, even for you, man,” Steve said gruffly, shaking his head. “What the fuck could you possibly think she knows?”

“She’s Escobar’s daughter,” Carrillo said.

“What?” Steve said, not understanding what he just heard.

“She is Escobar’s daughter,” Carrillo repeated slowly.

“Bullshit,” Javier said quietly. “Escobar’s daughter is a child.”

“Yes,” Carrillo explained. “His daughter with his wife is just a baby. This woman,” Carrillo gestured to the small, battered beauty before them, “is his daughter from a summer tryst when he was a teenager.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Steve questioned.

“We’ve been gathering intel,” Carrillo told him calmly. “His sicarios have been talking a lot about her lately. She’s confirmed the story as well.” Javi and Steve looked unsure. They didn’t like what was happening, but if she was in fact the daughter of Pablo Escobar...well, this was huge.

“We grabbed her sneaking out of one of the fincas we’ve been staking out,” Carrillo stated. “She claims to have been held there against her will. If that turns out to be true, we may be able to let her go when we get all the intel from her we can.”

“And if it’s not true?” Steve asked.

“Then he’s going to put a bullet in her head,” Javier said quietly, staring at Carrillo, who nodded in agreement.

“It would be too dangerous to let her go,” Carrillo explained.

“Jesus. FUCK!” Steve shouted as he threw his hands in the air and turned away. Javier looked at the girl in the center of the room. Shit, she was tiny. She couldn’t be more than five feet tall, and maybe a hundred pounds. If it wasn’t for the mouthwatering curves of her body, she could easily have been mistaken for a child.

“Let us talk to her,” he said to Carrillo. “No more torture.” The bulky colonel looked like he was about to argue when Javier cut in. “You called us here to help. Let us help.” Carrillo nodded and waved his men back. Steve and Javi crouched down in front of the woman. “Hola, soy Javier Peña, y este es Steve Murphy de la DEA.” (Hey, I’m Javier Peña, and this is Steve Murphy from the DEA.) They saw her eyes widen in relief when he mentioned DEA. “No dejaremos que te lastimen más, ¿de acuerdo? Cuéntanos qué está pasando. ¿Cuál es tu nombre? ¿Por qué estabas en el complejo de Escobar? Díganos todo lo que pueda.” (We won’t let them hurt you anymore, ok? Just tell us what’s going on. What’s your name? Why were you at Escobar’s compound? Just tell us anything you can.) The girl took a ragged breath in and out.

“Ariana,” she croaked out, her throat sore. “Ariana Morgan.” Javi could see bruises all over her neck from where they had choked her. “Escobar’s men kidnapped me. They’ve been holding me at various safe houses since they brought me to Colombia.” Steve and Javi shared a look when they heard her speak in unaccented, perfect English.

“Brought you to Colombia?” Steve asked. “From where?”

“Mexico,” she said, straining the talk. She coughed a few times, wincing at the pain. “I was on assignment in Mexico when they grabbed me.” She started coughing again, small flecks of blood splattering out.

“It’s alright,” Javi soothed gently. “Take your time.” Her coughing stopped and she took a shallow breath.

“I was assigned to Mexico to help bring down the Guadalajara Cartel after the murder of Kiki Camarena,” she continued hoarsely. The Americans reared back at her words.

“W—What?” Javi and Steve stuttered together.

“I’m DEA too,” she panted.

“She said this already,” Carrillo said with an undercurrent of rage. “We know you are lying. The field office in Guadalajara has no record of her. If you’re going to give us bullshit, we’ll just put a bullet in you now!”

“Calm down, Carrillo,” Steve warned.

“The field office won’t give you information on an agent,” Ariana gritted out through the pain. “I told you,”—she gasped at the pain in her ribs— “they’ll only give the info to the embassy or DEA.” Steve and Javi nodded in agreement. The DEA wasn’t in the habit of sharing intel on agents with foreign police. They needed to protect their agents.

“Let me see if I can get this straight,” Steve asked quietly, looking down at Ariana. “You’re telling us you’re an American DEA agent?”

“Yes,” she answered, raising her chin, slightly.

“Fuck!” Javi growled. He stood up quickly and looked at the men. “Release her. Now.” They glanced at their colonel, who nodded his head sharply. They rushed forward to cut her loose. Javi carefully helped her up. He saw her grimace as she tried to stand up straight and her breathing was shallow. He guessed she probably had a few broken ribs.

“Do you need to go the hospital or would you rather go to the embassy?” Steve asked her gently.

“I’m fine,” she gritted out between her teeth. Javi could see she was in a lot of pain but was fighting it. “I don’t want to take any chances of Escobar’s men finding me. Let’s go to the embassy.” They looked concerned but nodded.

“You cannot take her,” Carrillo said stubbornly. “She may be lying.”

“We’ll figure that out at the embassy,” Javi said.

“You’re more than welcome to come with us, Carrillo,” Steve told him. “Keep her in your custody until we confirm if she’s DEA.” Carrillo considered his words.

“Very well,” he said. He dismissed the other two men and told Trujillo to meet him there. They followed the Americans out. Javier helped Ariana into the back of the Jeep before sliding in next to her. Steve jumped into the driver’s seat, and Carrillo sat up front with him. Ariana leaned her head against the window trying to breathe.

Javier watched her carefully. Her breathing was ragged and shallow, her eyes squeezing shut with every bump in the road. He knew she had to be in tremendous pain, but she stayed mostly quiet. Only letting out a small whimper or quiet gasp if the car jolted too much. He saw a single tear leak out from the corner of her eye and run down her bruised face.

A particularly large bump in the road caused her to let out a low groan, and she reached her hand out blindly towards Javier, seeking whatever comfort she could find. He gently clasped her hand that didn’t have the obviously broken wrist. He entwined his fingers with hers. She squeezed his hand gently, letting him know she appreciated the small comfort. He rubbed his thumb soothingly back and forth over the back of her hand. He didn’t know why, but every fiber of his being was screaming at him to protect this woman. He felt her clench his hand tightly, sucking in her breath as Steve had to slam on the brakes harder than normal.

“Fuck, Murphy,” Javi hissed out, “careful!” Steve and Carrillo looked back at Ariana.

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled. Carrillo stared at her a few moments longer. Javier could see the first stirrings of doubt in his eyes. Javi moved next to her and put his arm around her shoulders, gently pulling her into his arms.

“Is this ok?” He asked her gently. She nodded and buried her face into his chest. Javi’s other arm came around to encircle her, his hand coming up to gently cup the back of her head.

“It’s alright, Ariana,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the side of her head. “I’ve got you. You’re gonna be fine.” He felt her relax a little in his arms.

“Ari,” she mumbled into his chest.

“Hmm?” Javier looked down at her.

“You can call me Ari,” she sighed, melting into the warmth of his embrace. She drifted in and out of consciousness for the remainder of the ride.

They managed to get back to the embassy with Ari in one piece despite Steve’s atrocious driving. They led her to a much more comfortable interrogation room. Javier had insisted on checking her over before they would proceed.

“I don’t know about this, Steve,” Javier said quietly. They were standing off to the side with Carrillo, trying to keep their voices low enough so Ari wouldn’t hear. “She’s in pretty bad shape. We should get her to a hospital.”

“We need to find out if she’s telling the truth first,” Carrillo insisted.

“He’s right, Javi,” Steve agreed. “Whether she’s DEA or not, Escobar’s men will be looking for her. We need to play this smart.” Javi clenched his jaw, but nodded in agreement. He didn’t like this at all. Javi and Steve moved to sit across the table from her. Carrillo leaned against the wall next to them, staring at the woman he had tortured.

“The ambassador and CIA are checking everything out right now,” Javi told her. “We should be able to get this all cleared up soon.”

“Do you think you can talk?” Steve asked her gently, gesturing towards her bruised throat. She nodded, shifting in her seat and wincing at the pull in her ribs. She looked so small and breakable, but Javi knew she had to have a lot of strength to have taken what Carrillo and his men dished out. “Let’s start with how you ended up with Escobar.”

“I told you,” she said quietly, her throat too damaged to speak in a normal voice. “I was in Mexico, working. Escobar sent some men to get me. They grabbed me outside my apartment after work one night, tossed me in a car, and then onto a small plane. I was tied up and blindfolded. I know we made two stops, I’m guessing to refuel. We landed and I was tossed into another car. When they finally took the blindfold off, I was in one of Escobar’s houses in Colombia.”

“Alright,” Steve said, sitting back. “So how the hell did Escobar end up with an American DEA agent for a daughter.”

“When my mother was young,” Ari began, “she went on vacation to Medellín with her best friend’s family. She met Escobar while she was here. He was young too, just a teenager like my mom. Apparently they had a summer romance, and I was the result of that. She didn’t even know until she got back home. My grandparents were furious when they found out. They married her off to a friend of the family right away to hide the shame. He was older, in his thirties.” She looked away a moment, and swallowed thickly. “He wasn’t a good man,” she said, looking back at the men in front of her. “When I was twelve we were finally able to get away. We stayed on the move as much as possible, so he couldn’t track us down.” She paused a moment to rest her throat.

“My mother came clean about who my father was after we left. They had never outright said her husband wasn’t my father, but the things he said to me and the way he treated me...well, I kinda figured there was more to the story.” She fidgeted in her seat, trying to find a comfortable position. “Once I found out Escobar was my father, and what kind of a man he was, I decided to focus my life and career on bringing him, and men like him, to justice. Eventually I went off to college, criminal justice. Ended up working for the NYPD for a few years. My record was impressive enough to get me into the DEA. I was bounced around a bit, but I ended up in El Paso. After Kiki was killed, they sent me to Mexico.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat again.

“I was hoping to get assigned to Colombia, but they insisted I go to Mexico. I had been down there a couple years, but I had to go to D.C. for some briefings. I went to visit my mom before I had to return to Mexico. She was living in Miami at the time. We were out shopping and having lunch one day. And guess who happened to be in Miami on vacation with his family?” The three men looked at each other. They remembered some intel about Escobar taking his family to Disney, with a stop in Miami.

“Escobar saw us. He recognized my mother. And then he noticed me. He realized my age and saw enough of a family resemblance that he started to wonder. He ended up losing us in the crowd, and he didn’t want to draw attention to a possible bastard child while on a family trip. So, when he got back to Colombia, he had his guys start digging, but he said he knew I was his.”

“But how did he know for sure?” Javi pressed. “He had to be pretty fucking sure to send men to kidnap a DEA agent.”

“He managed to bribe my doctor to take blood for ‘routine tests’ during my physical I had to have done before I returned to Mexico.” She paused. “He showed me the paperwork. I really am his daughter.” Ariana looked up at the men with so much sadness in her eyes they felt their hearts constrict. She clearly was not happy about her origin. She cleared her throat and looked away. The room fell silent for a few minutes, taking it all in.

“Shit,” Ari said suddenly, “I don’t even know how long I’ve been missing.” She let out a humorless laugh.

“When did they take you?” Steve asked. She told them. Steve and Javi looked at each other and then slowly back at her.

“They’ve held you for four months,” Javi told her quietly. She seemed to pale slightly when she realized just how long Escobar had held her.

“Well,” she croaked out, “I guess you better call El Paso and let them know to take my damn picture off the memorial wall.” Steve and Javi chuckled.

“We’ll get right on that,” Steve said with a smile. They stood up from the table. “You hang tight in here. We’re gonna go see what the ambassador has found out. Let us know if you need anything.”

“Some food would be nice at some point tonight, if it’s not too much trouble,” she asked politely. She looked up at the two men, a somber look on her battered face. “Your friend over there had me for almost three days,” she said with a nod towards Carrillo. She turned to the man in question. “While I enjoyed your company, Colonel, your hospitality was severely lacking.” Carrillo couldn’t help but smirk at her sass. Javi looked away angrily and clenched his fist. He turned back to her.

“I’ll get you something right away,” Javi said gently. “Any requests?”

“I’m not picky,” Ari said with a small shrug. She winced from the pain that small movement caused. It was fleeting, but Javier caught it. He offered her a reassuring smile.

“I’ll stay here with her,” Carrillo told them, his eyes still on Ari. The Americans paused, not sure they wanted to leave these two alone together. They shared a look, finally deciding they could trust Carrillo.

“Play nice,” Javier warned, pointing to Carrillo.

“I always do,” Ari quipped. The men couldn’t help but chuckle. She was turning out to be much spunkier than they originally thought. Steve and Javi exited the room, and Carrillo pushed off the wall to take a seat across from Ari. The two stared at each other, contemplating the situation and each other.

Ariana

As soon as the DEA agents left the room, Ari sagged slightly in her chair. Everything fucking hurt. She knew she had to have a few broken ribs. That would explain the pain and difficulty taking a deep breath. Her wrist throbbed where they had snapped the bone. She slowly took inventory of her injuries and decided she would be alright. Time would heal all the physical wounds on her body. Nothing was life threatening. Broken bones, bruises, lacerations, they all healed eventually, leaving behind scars and memories. Ari knew that all too well.

She studied Carrillo as he sat silently across from her. Though her entire body throbbed in pain, she wasn’t angry at the man seated before her. She knew what was required to get results in this battle against the narcos. If she was being completely honest with herself, she was impressed with Colonel Carrillo. She had overheard conversations between him and his second in command, Trujillo. Before they knew she spoke English, they had spoken more openly in front of her. Carrillo couldn’t be bought by the cartels. She had a lot of respect for a man like him.

Her fellow DEA agents seemed to be just as solid as their Colombian counterpart. She had been around long enough to know a good agent from a bad agent. Murphy and Peña were good agents. And more importantly, she sensed they, just like her and Carrillo, would be willing to do anything to bring down the cartels.

She was grateful that they had shown up and gotten her out of there. She was tough, but she wasn’t sure how much longer she could have withstood the torture by Carrillo and his men.

When she felt Javier’s hand on her face and looked into his eyes, she swore it was the most beautiful sight in the world. She wasn’t sure if it was her torture rattled brain seeing her savior, or if it was his insanely gorgeous face. No one had the right to be that sexy. She had to physically restrain herself from running her finger across his mustache as soon as she was cut free. Jesus, she thought, get your shit together.

She noticed Carrillo studying her carefully. She wondered what he was thinking.

Carrillo

Carrillo quietly watched the young woman across from him. He was worried she was telling the truth. He wasn’t concerned about the consequences of his actions. He knew they would be justified in the eyes of his superiors. He had followed all necessary protocol to verify who she claimed to be. He felt guilt slowly creep into his veins.

When his men had grabbed her, he had felt elation that they had managed to acquire Escobar’s daughter. When he had her in front of him though, he felt hesitation. There was something in her eyes that made him not want to harm her.

He had been so focused on getting information on Escobar and worried that her beauty would cloud his judgment, he had ignored his instincts.

“If you truly are DEA—” he began.

“—No hard feelings on my part,” she cut in. He looked shocked. “You did what you had to. Let it go.” He didn’t look convinced, but he nodded curtly, falling back into silence.

Javier

Half an hour later Javier came back in with food. He opened a bag and pulled out a bunch of wrapped items.

“I hope you like arepas,” he said. Her eyes lit up.

“Love them,” she gasped as she reached for one. She dug right in as Javi took the seat across from her, next to Carrillo. She swallowed carefully, grimacing at the pain it caused. It was clear she was starving, but she had to take it slow with her battered throat. She looked at the large pile of arepas in front of her. She pushed a few towards Javier and the colonel.

“Here,” she said. “Help yourselves. There’s no way I’ll eat them all.” They seemed to consider something for a moment before slowly opening the wrappers and taking a bite.

“Did he behave himself?” Javi asked, nodding towards Carrillo.

“He was a perfect gentleman,” Ari said, flashing them a smile, and then wincing at the pain that shot through her head. “Fuck,”she hissed.

“You alright?” Javi asked, concerned.

“Yeah,” she assured him. “Just have to be more careful for a bit.” She took another bite, and a bit of filling oozed onto her thumb. Ari stuck her thumb in her mouth and gently sucked the filling off. Javi watched her. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as thoughts he shouldn’t be having jumped into his head. They had washed her face of most of the blood and grime when they got to the embassy. She was still bruised, but Javi could still tell she was quite beautiful underneath. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter.

“So your mom lives in Miami?” Javi said suddenly, needing to focus his thoughts on something other than her tongue. “Steve was working there before he came to Colombia.”

“She did live in Miami,” Ari said. “She was murdered just before I returned to Mexico. The detectives that worked her case said it looked like a drug cartel hit. I assumed it was a retaliation from the Guadalajara cartel; I had just made a pretty big bust. But after something Escobar said to me, I think he was the one who ordered her death. Punishment for hiding me all those years.”

“You’re probably right about Escobar,” Carrillo said quietly. “He is a family man through and through. It would infuriate him to have a child out there, growing up without him. He would have seen it as an unforgivable betrayal.” They sat in silence for a few moments.

“So, four months,” Javier said.

“Hmm?” Ariana looked confused.

“Escobar had you for four months.” Understanding dawned on her face. “How’d you get out?”

“Wasn’t easy, that’s for fucking sure,” she said in a voice tinged with anger. “He had me under guard all the time. Kept moving me to different houses. He tried to keep me with him and his family whenever he could, but he found I needed to be moved more than them. I guess he figured out I’m not an idiot, so he wanted to keep me guessing so I wouldn’t escape. Honestly, I preferred when he had me at the houses without him and the family. His wife hates me. I’m pretty sure she would have killed me if she could have made it look like an accident. His mother fawned over me, but she’s so damn loyal to him, she wouldn’t dream of helping me escape. But Escobar, he was the worst to be around.”

“Did he mistreat you,” Javi asked, an edge to his voice.

“No, no it wasn’t like that,” she assured him. “He was very good to me. But that was the problem. He was so interested in me, doted on me. It made me sick.”

“Because of who he is?” Javier asked gently.

“That was part of it,” Ariana said, looking away.

“What was the other part?”

“If it’s alright with you, I-I’d rather not discuss that right now,” Ariana stuttered. Javi watched her for a moment. He could see the darkness swirling in her eyes. She had some demons buried that she didn’t want to dredge up. He understood all too well.

“Of course,” he told her. She offered him a small smile of gratitude.

“I knocked out the guards,” she told him quietly. He looked at her a question in his eyes. “When I escaped. Escobar wasn’t there. He was at a different house with his family. He left seven guys to watch me. They were going stir crazy. I overheard them bitching about the fact that they weren’t allowed to touch me.” Javier stiffened at her words, worried what might come next. “They said it wasn’t right to lock them away with ‘an irresistible pussy’ and not allow them a taste.” She cringed at the crude words those animals had spoken about her. Javi and Carrillo felt rage. If those savages touched her...

“They decided to make a run to a brothel to satisfy their needs. Left two of them behind to keep an eye on me. I waited about twenty minutes, to make sure they wouldn’t change their mind and head back. Then I got the jump on the two idiots they left behind, grabbed their guns, keys to one of the cars, and took off.” She looked at Carrillo. “Your guys caught me a few miles from the house.” The men were impressed. She was a lot tougher than she looked.

“Yes, and you beat the shit out of three of my men,” Carrillo said in a deep voice. “You are a surprise, niñita.” Ari made a face at the nickname.

“I’m not a little girl,” she mumbled. Carrillo smirked at her. “Have you guys had any luck contacting my superiors?”

“I’m not sure,” Javi said. “Steve told me the ambassador was making a few more calls.”

“Should you be helping them?”

“They can handle it,” he shrugged, leaning back in his chair and propping his ankle over his knee, threading his fingers together on this lap. Ariana grinned at him.

“How long have you been down here hunting Escobar?” She asked. Javi blew out a stream of breath.

“Fuck, it’s been a few years now,” he said. Ariana nodded in understanding.

“I know how that feels,” she said. “Sometimes it sucks being stuck in a foreign country.” He shrugged.

“Eh, it’s not so bad. They gave me a pretty decent partner this time around. The government issued apartment is comfortable enough. It’s been better since Carrillo was put in charge of the investigation. Despite your...interaction with him, he’s one of the only cops we can trust in this country.”

“I got a sense of that,” Ari said. Carrillo looked surprised. “I’ve always been a good judge of character. He’s one of the good ones...even if I wouldn’t mind kicking his ass a bit right now.” They fell into silence once more. Ari finished eating and crumbled up the wrapper.

“Thanks for the food, Agent Peña,” she said quietly. “It was delicious.”

“Javi,” he said quietly. She tilted her head with a questioning hum. “You can call me Javi.”

“Oh, o-ok,” she stuttered out. “Thanks, Javi.” He stared at her full lips as his name slipped out of them.

“You’re welcome, hermosa,” Javi said huskily. He saw her face warm at the endearment.

Javi realized he was still staring at her mouth. And Carrillo was watching them, very closely. He needed to put as much physical distance between them as he could. He checked his watch and noticed it had been well over an hour since Steve left to check out her story.

“I’m going to go check on Steve,” he said as he pushed up from his chair.

“I’ll come with you, Peña,” Carrillo said, standing. “Trujillo can keep an eye on her. I want to see this information for myself.

“All right,” Javi nodded. “We’ll be back,” he told Ari.

“Ok,” Ariana said, looking up at him. “I’ll be here.” He nodded curtly as they walked out. The door closed quietly behind them. Javi could not remember a time a woman had an effect on him like this. It scared the hell out of him. He was hoping her story would check out because that meant she would be heading off to Mexico and far away from him. He ignored the twist in his gut at never seeing her again. This was the way it should be. He didn’t need a distraction like her.

Javi and Carrillo made their way into the ambassador’s office. Javier’s mind was occupied with thoughts of whether or not he should try to sleep with Ari before she left. She would probably need to stay in Colombia for a couple weeks to heal up, so he would definitely have some time to make a move. Then she would be on her way out of the country, and he wouldn’t have to agonize over her anymore. All he knew was that this girl was trouble, and he needed her as far away from him as possible. He stopped his train of thought when they got to Noonan’s office. He walked up to her secretary, Laura.

“Murphy in there?” He asked, pointing to the closed office doors.

“Yes, sir,” she said. “The ambassador told me to send you in when you got here.” Javi nodded, and they went in.

“Peña, Colonel, come in,” Ambassador Noonan said. She motioned them over to her desk. Steve was standing to the side looking over some papers.

“Any update?” Javi asked.

“Yes,” Noonan said. “She is indeed with the DEA, and she has quite the impressive record.” Steve handed him the papers he had been reading.

“Javi, check this out,” he said. Javi glanced through the papers and realized they were a history of Ariana’s career. He sat down and took a closer look.

“Christ, man, this girl is incredible,” Steve exclaimed. “I haven’t seen a career like that on most guys that have decades in the field!” Javi had to agree. Her skills and record were amazing.

Unfortunately, in this male dominated field, women were held to a ridiculously high standard. Misogyny ran rampant in the DEA, and a female agent would have to be practically perfect to get noticed by anyone. Based off her records, Ari knew how to play this game well. Carrillo took the paperwork to read over. Javi saw a look of admiration and then a grimace pass over the man’s face. It was clear to Javi the colonel was impressed with Ari...and feeling guilty for what he had done.

“I’ve already updated El Paso and Guadalajara, and they approved the request,” Noonan stated.

“Request?” Javi questioned.

“Transfer to Bogotá,” the ambassador clarified.

“Transfer?” Javi asked, his eyes wide with surprise. “You want her to join the team?”

“It’s already done,” she stated. “Her superior sent confirmation just before you walked in. Looks like you two have a new partner.” Javi looked at Steve who was grinning like an idiot.

Well, shit.

Chapter 2

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