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#terrible things happen to regular people every day. sometimes things work out. sometimes they don't.
tranquilpetrichor · 4 months
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the formula for late nights
cast: gunwook (zb1) x gn biochem major!reader
wc: 722
genre: college!au
warnings: food, mentions of yn drinking sometimes to deal with stress, descriptions of food, academic pressure
a/n: eris try to make a story where yn isn't slightly unhinged challenge failed. also the two could be interpreted as having a crush on one another. now that my finals are over, hopefully i can post more
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sitting on an armchair in your suite, you sigh with relief as you finish your chemistry homework. you place the little pencil back into the iPad and shut the case. the device goes back into your bag, where you hope you won't have to see it until tomorrow's class.
you're glad that you've finished your homework for the day because you're sure as hell that you cannot handle doing another problem (no more stoichiometry, please!).
your friend, park gunwook, steps into the common room of your suite and greets you. he's been over for a while, but he was busy helping someone else in the suite with math homework and hasn't bothered you since.
he'd wondered if anyone would even ask for his tutoring help, but you assured him that there would always be someone agonizing over math. hm, maybe you should try it one day (if only you had the time)..
he glances at your packed bag. "so, you're finally done suffering through chem?"
you groan, stretching your muscles. holy shit, you worked for about an hour without getting up?
"i guess. for now, at least."
he chuckles and walks over to your snack cabinets. "for now."
you're not even tall enough to reach some of the shelves on the upper cabinets without the usage of a step stool, yet he has the audacity to steal food from there sometimes.
seemingly changing his mind, he walks to the freezer instead, opening the door to peek inside. you don't bother to ask what he's looking for because you already know.
"i can say goodbye to my chocolate ice cream," you mutter.
he protests. "what? it's good. and it's not my fault we like the same flavor."
perks of having a friend with way too much of a similar taste in food, you suppose.
"i guess we could share? we do have a lot."
not even thirty seconds later, two small bowls, two spoons, and an ice cream scoop are out, the latter item present because you never want to try scooping out ice cream with a regular spoon again.
there also happens to be brownies in the fridge that another friend of yours named jiwoo brought over yesterday.
"take them," she had said, "i won't finish them all anyways."
of course you took them, because who are you to say no to offerings of food?
you find the container and give it to gunwook, who's sitting on the couch across from the tv. there's six brownies left, but you'll probably save some for later.
"oh, we forgot drinks." gunwook says. he stares at you as your lips curve into a knowing smile. "no, y/n, not the alcoholic kind. we are not asking our neighbors for soju today."
you pretend to be disappointed and laugh. "don't worry, you know i only allow myself to drink in the dorms during weekends. it's only thursday. and it's an every-other-week type of thing."
(is it from stress built up through the week? perhaps. did you choose the life of a biochem major willingly? yes, so maybe this is your fault.)
gunwook looks for some chocolate milk instead and rolls his eyes.
"not the best habit, but at least you're more responsible than some other people we know."
you shudder. having to be the parent of the group along with gunwook and help drunk friends home from frat parties is a terrible experience, but you digress. tonight is a time for staying in, occupying the couch, and sharing treats.
he calls out to you. "do you want to watch tv?"
without a second thought, you perk up and join him on the couch. he's already unfolded the blue blanket that sits there, and drapes it over both of you.
"what show?"
he's surfing through the various programs on his tv, and you seem to sink a little further into the couch.
"how about the last of us?"
you nod. "i haven't even started it yet."
(you're known in the friend group for saying "i'll watch [insert show]" and never doing it.)
he smiles and navigates over to hbo max on the screen with your remote. "i think a little brain break is well-deserved."
"couldn't agree more."
with that, you allow yourself and gunwook the luxury of another late night spent in good company with each other.
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ceph-the-ghost-writer · 8 months
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Writblr Summoning Circle Intro
Since I rearranged things a bit, I'll try doing a proper introduction. What's the worst that could happen?
Hello and welcome to my shrine place of power writing blog. I'm Ceph, they/them, and despite the ghostly username I am, in fact, a regular human adult with a job, college homework, skin, blood, etc. Video games, houseplants, and buying books faster than I read them are just a few of my hobbies.
I write different flavors of fantasy mostly, with sprinkles of horror and romance/spice thrown in for pizzazz. If you're interested in...
Vampires, werecreatures, necromancers, merfolk, and/or passive-aggressive poltergeists
Resourceful protagonists in terrible peril who sometimes make choices that change things forever, for better or worse
Lovers becoming enemies becoming forced allies and maybe more in some cases
Themes of solidarity, the myriad facets of love, and people fighting for a better future
Slow burns
Worldbuilding that I definitely don't make up on the fly
Mortals becoming deities and vice versa
Telepathic monsters that could devour your soul -OR- become your best friend
Liminal spaces like roadside diners at 3 a.m
...you might find my WIPs tolerable. Possibly even fun.
Follow my sideblogs @dysthanasia-series and/or @the-primrose-path-story to get notifications for new chapters and other neat story-related stuff. Or just ask to be put on a taglist for a WIP you're interested in. You can also read for free on Patreon and AO3.
I welcome asks, prompts, writblr events (Worldbuilding Wednesday, etc.), and any interactions that lead to transmutating Internet strangers into friends. Do tell me about your characters and lore. I want to devour know all of it. Yes, even the obscure facts that never really make it into the story despite hours of research poured into them. Especially those.
My reading habits include a steady diet of fantasy, horror, whump, and smut sometimes all four rolled into one but I'll happily consume a wide variety of works and styles. Check out @coven-archives to see what I'm reblogging from fellow writers.
That's pretty much it. Feel free to reblog or like this post or invite me into an object you own at the stroke of midnight if you want me to give a follow.
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Below the cut you'll find a list of WIPs and links to read them which will increase my power every time you click one. Content advisories are at the top of each work and chapter.
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Genre(s): Urban/Paranormal fantasy, vampires, post-apocalyptic, whump-ish
Apophenia
Old rough draft version here
Status: Redraft in progress
A researcher of the supernatural, Isaac Soto, stumbles across an unregistered bloodborn in the Broken Coast region. When he reports the creature, hoping to prevent someone from being the next victim, he finds out that maybe he should have been more worried about himself.
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Phagophobia
Genre(s): Urban/Paranormal fantasy, vampires, post-apocalyptic, whump-ish
Status: Redraft in progress
Living isn't always a mercy, but Isaac Soto will take what he can get. Storm season makes fleeing from the Broken Coast and the bloodborn he met there difficult. Said bloodborn somehow knowing his every move makes it nigh impossible. Hiding in one of the few western cities to survive the break, Isaac makes a stand, a deal, and ultimately a decision that will shape the rest of his life.
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The Primrose Path
Genre(s): High fantasy, romance/erotica
Status: Rough draft in progress
When his village is taken captive by an enemy nation, Illuminator Ân's priority is to make sure his people survive to fight another day. Faced with everything he's stood against as a priest of Cyanos, god of light and life, Ân prays for the strength to overcome and do what he must. It's not long before he receives signs that his petitions have been heard. Just not by the deity he serves.
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Beyond & Between
Genre(s): High fantasy, portal fantasy, whump
Status: Occasional, out-of-order updates
Sail beyond where the seas turn red, until the sky is filled with unfamiliar stars, to the lands between realities. Magic and the power to leave one's old life behind awaits for those brave enough to seek it.
Beyond & Between is a collection of stories set in the strange places settled by ancient people, deities, and creatures from Earth who fell through the cracks.
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Whumptober 2022
Each prompt followed by the story series it's set in and the MC. Content guidelines at the start of each story.
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miqomischief · 8 months
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🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?
Shall we try them all? Hm...let's try them all. This is usually a hard question that makes me think and I haven't thought about it for most.
Thanks again @elfie-kitten
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Haha, that he'd be able to whisk his husbands off to paradise and spend the rest of eternity making them happy and giving them their every desire? Bram very much loves his husbands and they all have past trauma he wishes they could leave behind and just relax and be happy as they deserve. Before you think aww that's really adorable and selfless...it's not. He'd make sure they spent eternity making HIM happy too.
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No repercussions? He's wish for Diajik to be whole and not so broken and hurt. Unfortunately since that would change Diajik so much I don't think that's possible without repercussions but it's nice for him to think about sometimes.
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Diajik would wish Bram immortal. Period. Yes, over himself, over any others, it's Bram. Bram is the one he doesn't want to lose/doesn't want the Star to lose.
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I think he's gotten all his wishes, he got his fairy tale happy ending with his dozen children. If he wished for anything now it'd be safety and happiness for his family probably.
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Hmm...I think he would actually wish for his children to have a better life than they've had. Both of his sons had a really rough time and suffered for it and that was not what he intended for them at all so he would've prevented it if he could.
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Fabian wants true love/fairy tale/someone to love him SO BADLY. So he'd probably wish for that.
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He'd wish...for F'yire to be happy. Because that's all he's ever wanted out of his life, to see F'yire happy and successful. His brother means the world to him and it hurt him to see their parents' tribe treat him so badly.
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F'yire..would be one of those that wished for the power to protect all those he loved. Which is hilarious because that's also what Inxli would wish for and they don't get along well.
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I think G'laice would wish to go back to his true body and the Star he came from! Which would be a terrible idea but I think that would be his instinct. He's not real pleased he's stuck here as a Miqo'te as much as he might like parts of his life here now.
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Oooooh...she would wish no one could ever harm another against their will or something of that sort. She has a past where she was abused and she would absolutely wish to erase that from everyone else ever having to deal with it again.
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He'd wish for his friend that died to come back to life because it was tragic and it still haunts him.
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Myth would wish to just be NORMAL. To just be a regular Keeper Miqo'te with no immortality, not a vampire, not all the pain he carries from his horrible past. Just be some silly little Miqo'te born into a good family and maybe an adventurer.
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You know...I don't know. Maybe he'd wish for people to keep the void where it belongs so Inxli doesn't have to void hunt anymore? Or healing the void? Or...just plain Inxli to be invincible so nothing ever happens to him.
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LOL after what I wrote for him this morning, HALONE PLEASE just let everyone in Ishgard GET ALONG even if it's just for ONE DAY. He wants peace, joy, and happiness for those in Ishgard and he's willing to fight for it but, Halone preserve, it's hard sometimes.
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Either he'd wish to undo his past, or he'd wish to be the person he is now without his past. I don't know which he'd prefer.
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Would it be too much for him to ask for some kind of acknowledgement from Sharlayan for all the peril he's been put through? YES? He thought as much. That's what he'd wish for. He wants recognition.
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A nice retirement with her husband somewhere remote away from politics and war and fighting and...the means to keep Eryk from not being bored without all those things...Eryk is ACE so keeping him in bed doesn't really work...
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Oh I don't know. He'd be tempted to wish away everyone's pain but he's realistic to know that then people wouldn't grow. To ease it maybe? To help them heal stronger for it and lessen it? It'd be something along those lines.
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Happiness! And cake! For everyone! (Unless you don't like cake, then whatever you do like!)
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Oof. I think he'd wish he'd never been taken out of the woods, but that wouldn't be great for his character development or his friendship with Colt.
Ash and Niyx? Couldn't be bothered to wish. Ash would wish something completely ridiculously selfish like everything he ever wanted without having to struggle for it or something anyway, but maybe not. He enjoys the struggle. Niyx would just be confused by the idea of a wish.
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I wonder about that sometimes, if they have a CO planned out. I wonder how much planning would have to go into that because there are 2 of them to think about. Even if HL aren't together anymore then I would think they'd still need to work together as a CO from one of them will raise questions about what happened in 1D. It would probably bring more attention to Larry. Every so often they'll say or do something that doesn't make any sense now but I wonder if it will make sense in the future with more context. The CO process really interests me a lot... if they will start laying the groundwork in advance or leave it closer to the tie, if they will tie up loose ends or just wing it, if there will be signs or it'll be when we least expect it etc. I love to look for signs but it's pointless really because it could happen in 1 year or 10 years or 20 or not at all, we'll never know until it happens.
I do think the question of how they think about coming out is a really interesting (and unknowable one). Is coming out something that is unthinkable at the moment, is it a desire for some vague future which is on the never never, is there a desire for a slightly more concrete future that impacts on the present day, or is there a concrete plan that is currently in place?
Fascinating question - there's no way we could have any idea about the answer.
If they're not together - then I don't think they'd need to work together to come out. I think if things weren't terrible between them then the person who was coming out would give the other a heads up. But there would be no need to plan together. Obviously there would be some discussion of the fact that fans believe they are together if they came out, but I don't think it would be that significant. (If Louis came out the question about Harry wouldn't be that big a part of Harry discourse. And if Harry came out the questions about Louis wouldn't be that big a part of Harry coming out).
I also think if there's just one of them coming out then there's a lot more options. It would have to be planned - but things can be planned over a relatively short timetable and it could be a 'I can't do this anymore' type timetable. Although given the regular cycle of a touring artists life - I think it would be more likely to take place in a way that reflects that cycle. I think it's unlikely that a touring artist would come out mid-tour - it's a uncontrollable environment.
If they are together and are planning on being out together and about their relationship - then I think things get heaps more complicated and would have to be planned significantly in advance. There are so many challenges to Harry and Louis coming out together (to add one - how do you do any kind of set up when you have all these people who will lose their minds if you start to do what you do very much mean to do. Or how do you deal with the fact that there are a lot of people who work in the media and write stories - who are very invested in this and it might have an impact on their sense of identity. And those are just some of the fandom based problems).
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what-even-is-thiss · 2 years
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Hello, I was wondering if you'd mind expanding on your experience of going from car-centric travel to not having a car. I live in southern California, which I'm sure you're familiar with as being VERY car-centric and terrible at public transportation. I just recently had my license medically suspended, pending some test results to see if it's safe for me to be driving, and I will most likely lose my job if I don't get my license back (what takes 20 minutes by car is 3 hours by bus) and I'm kind of freaking out about how I'm going to adapt if my license gets permanently revoked.
I purposefully moved close enough to my job that I can get there by bus within half an hour. I know that is likely not possible for you or most people though. Here’s some stuff I’ve learned from trying to get to other far away places and talking to other people that don’t own cars though:
People are often more willing to give you a ride than you’d expect. Try asking your coworkers or friends if they’d be willing to help you out. Offer to pay for gas if that makes it more likely for them to give you a ride.
If you’re legally disabled a lot of cities have a program to drive disabled people where they want to go for either a normal fare rate or a discounted fare rate. You might have to schedule it but if you know when your shift will be you can schedule it every day and they will just come and get you.
Some metro systems just have a ride service for anyone for a slightly more expensive fare rate. See if the metro system in your area has an app or website with alternate transit options listed.
Depending on the rates where you live and how expensive your car is, sometimes taking Uber or Lyft to work can be slightly less expensive than owning a car.
If you decide to take the three hour commute you can do stuff when you’re on the bus like be on your laptop or listen to podcasts or read that you can’t do when you’re driving. So if you like that it might not be as bad as you’d expect. Some people that take transit for their hyper commute actually enjoy it from what I’ve been told because they can get a lot done. Some people hate it. Depends on what kind of person you are.
If you’re able to ride a bike, an e-bike might be a good investment. Especially if you commute to work early in the morning when it’s cool. E-bikes are way way easier to ride than regular bikes and you can go way further and faster on them with less energy. Sometimes I’ll rent an e-bike to get somewhere far away and I love those things. If you prefer e-scooters that could also be an option depending on how hilly your area is.
If you decide to ride a normal bike, you could look into buying a Dutch style bike which is made for commuting. Dutch style bikes have pedal breaks. I love those things. And if you bike, you don’t have to exercise later in the day. Kind of a time saver if you already exercise.
If you’re not afraid of strangers you can see if there’s a carpool app available in your area. These apps can connect you to people willing to give others rides. Again though, this option assumes that you’re not afraid of strangers. Along this same line of thinking, did you know that people still hitchhike? It happens.
I know firsthand how hard the transition from car living to no car living can be. Texas is just as hostile to pedestrians if not more than California in my experience. And I hope you can get your drivers license back. If you can’t though, there’s ways to get around and it is possible to get used to it. I wish you luck.
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fratboykate · 2 years
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anon who said that i wouldn’t trust kate so easily after the coke episode here.
so the thing is, i’m studying to be a scientist just like yelena so we both know a little bit about how our little broken machine called brain works and that means we know that addiction is basically hereditary. so yes, for you four lines of coke may be nothing, but for kate it’s a lot since her brother literally went to rehab bc of this. people who have a family history of addiction (drug addicteds, alcoholics, and stuff like that) have a higher chance of being addicted to something too, specially when you already have a case so close in the family. that’s why i said i wouldn’t let it go that fast (and also why i think yelena wouldn’t either). my family is a very good example of this so i avoid every drug, legal or illegal, bc i can tell i’d definitely have a very hard time quitting after i start using.
i’m sorry for the terrible english btw, i’m from brazil and english is not even my second language.
BROOOO I FUCKING TEARED UP IN THAT KYFBAU ANGST! didn’t expect my dumb pair would make me cry. definitely need more now! 🤪 what kind of things they talked in couples therapy tho? curious
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First of all, your English was PERFECT...what are you talking about???
I see what you're saying so let me do a 3-For-1 lol. Let's do yours, this other anon, and the anon from the other day who said they should've been broken up for longer/wanted to see more angst. I do also agree I would've naturally extended that. That was also my natural instinct but like I said that day...I was already at 3.2k on an ask and that felt.......excessive (I also got lazy) so I just compressed it. This is really how I would stretch it out/would see it going. Love me a good angsty break up where one party has to GROVEL AND PROVE ITSELF AGAIN.
This is like...that VERY first couple's therapy session that they just walked into in that last prompt. It all crumbles to shit again right away.
///
Kate is sitting on the very edge of the couch. She's clearly on the defensive right now. Yelena's jaw is clenched, her back as straight as an arrow, and she stares directly at her lap.
"She's overreacting. This isn't my first time. I've been partying like this since I was in high school and I've never had an issue."
"Let's not minimize Yelena's feelings."
"Have you ever done this any other time while we've been together?" Kate sits in silence for long enough that she doesn't have to answer. "OH MY GOD!"
"We don't do it when we go out with you! I know you wouldn't be down with that so from the beginning I've made that rule. If you're around none of that happens."
"Wow. I'm flattered and thankful for your consideration, Kate…….Do you always get high when you don't go out without me?"
"Not always."
"What does that mean?! Almost always? Half the time? A lot?"
"Uhm…a lot I guess?"
"What do you do?" Kate sits in silence. "WHAT?!"
"Regular party stuff. It's nothing crazy! Depends on the night. Weed, Coke, Molly, K, sometimes we do shrooms or acid if we go away for a weekend or something. But that's not all the time! None of the crazy stuff tho. NEVER! If that's what you're worried about I've never touched that shit. I only do the stuff you have fun with."
"What the fuck? What the actual fuck, Kate?! You've been lying to me this entire time."
"I haven't been lying. You've never asked. It's not lying. Tell her it's not lying if it's never come up before. She's never even known before last week. It's not an issue!"
"You're a fucking asshole and the biggest hypocrite I've ever met. Aren't you embarrassed to lecture your brother and then turn around and do the same thing?"
"No. Because he's a mess and I'm not. That's the difference."
"I don't even want to look at you right now."
"She's being unreasonable. Can you tell her she's being unreasonable?"
"What are you feeling right now, Yelena?"
"That this is done. For good."
Kate turns to look from the doctor to Yelena.
"Hey. Wait…wait…WAIT…babe…no…fuck. You said two rules: no drugs and therapy. I agreed to the first and we're sitting in therapy. What are you talking about?"
"That was before I knew the entire foundation of this thing was a lie, Kate."
"It's not. It's not! Can you step in here?! I've never lied to you. FUCK! I've never lied to you. About ANYTHING."
"Except you've come home and gotten in bed with me, made love to me, made plans about a life with me while being high off your mind. That…THAT is lying to me. I'm done, Kate."
"No, it's not." Kate turns to the therapist. "CAN YOU FUCKING SAY SOMETHING?!"
"Is there anything Kate can do to regain your trust?"
Yelena turns to survey every inch of Kate's face. After a long pause.
"No."
Tears stream down Kate's face. Yelena looks at her for a beat longer and tears fill her eyes but she doesn't let them fall. She grabs her purse, stands, and leaves.
"Yelena. Yel. Babe. Yelena!"
Yelena never looks back.
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bluecookies02 · 4 years
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When they make you cry
pairings: Hawks x Reader, Dabi x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Aizawa x Reader, Izuku x Reader, Tamaki x Reader
Tamaki, Bakugou and Hawks are in a female!reader perspective, the rest of them are Gender Neutral
warnings: angst to fluff
masterlist
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Hawks will get cocky, laughing in your face when he sees your shocked expression.
Both of you were going at each others throats, spitting insults to one another, just your recent daily routine.
Now Hawks knew you were a tough gal, which in his head made it alright for him to strike a really painful nerve into your chest.
As you remained speechless he turned around, a winning smirk plastered on his lips.
Just as he took a few steps forward, sobs wrecked your body as you hid your face in your hands.
"I d-don't think I can take this anymore Keigo" your broken voice reached his ears.
A pang of guilt pierced his chest once he turned around to face you.
He did this. He made you cry. He completely drained your happiness out. He hurt you.
His teeth dug into his lip, his eyes stinging as tears picked at them.
At that point, he didn't give two shits about who's right and who's wrong, his arms reaching for you and wrapping themselves around your shaking form.
He held you there for a while, listening to your cries that gradually turned into soft sniffles against his chest.
"I-" He opens his mouth but his words remained stuck at his throat.
"I don't want us to end..." you mumbled, your own words throwing you into another sobbing fit.
"We won't end here kid, I've got you...shit...I'm a fucking idiot...of course we won't end sweetheart...c'mon look at me" he raised your chin up gently, looking into your red eyes.
"I'm sorry, fuck I'm sorry...not just for today, for every day before this, I-, God... don't leave kid, p-please"
You stared at his face, tears now streaming down his cheeks as his grip on you tightened.
You swallow the lump in your throat, grabbing his hands in yours.
"Something has to change Keigo...I miss you...we've been distant for months. Sometimes you don't even come home to me, do you know how that feels?"
"I know, I know, I swear... I miss you too. I'll tell you about everything I promise. Let's go home please."
You hesitantly nod, putting your heart on the line for the last time.
And now looking back, you're glad you did.
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//quirk: flesh manipulation (the reader can manipulate the molecules in a person's flesh just by touching it, making them useful mid-battle to make the other heroes ready to fight again in a matter of seconds, but also making them a threat to their enemies )
If there was one thing he despised about you, it was your guts.
Hell curse him for falling in love with someone so stubborn.
To live through a relationship with Dabi meant that you had to have though skin. You had to be strong enough to bite your cheeks and endure the issues that people in regular relationships never face.
He enters your home, covered in bruises and cuts, asking for your first aid kit.
You sigh to yourself, your usual nagging and yelling never reaching his ears.
You place the first aid kit onto your bedside table, turning your back to him, tiredly walking out of the room.
"Hey-" his voice calls out to you, quiet and confused.
You close the door behind you, making your way to your couch.
One of these days it'll be the last time he walks into your home, the last time you help him clean his cuts and the last time you hear his voice.
The weight of uncertainty pulls at your chest harder with every passing day.
He chose to continue living like this, he is the one that keeps ruining his own life, it's his ambitions that are making you this miserable.
Once he patches himself up, he sits on your bed for a while. Your silance meaning one thing and one thing only. You finally realized how pointless being with him is, you finally got it through your thick skull that he's nothing special to dwell about.
Time passes by quickly, a few hours already gone yet he's still glued to the same spot, not having the strength to leave your room, too scared to face your rejection once he gets out.
He should be happy for you, you won't be hurting anymore, you'll be able to find someone better.
He slowly twists the knob, taking slow steps through your living room.
You are laying on your couch, tear stains on your face and a tissue crumbled in your hand.
His chest tightenes at the sight. You cried yourself to sleep. He wonders... how many times did you cry over him? How many times would you just lay here as he carelessly roamed the streets?
He should leave...he should spare you the pain he brings. You were the only good thing in his life and by continuing this he'll ruin you, piece by piece.
You showed nothing but kindness to him, you made him realize that some people are worth getting close to, you being a hero also making his resolves shake under his feet.
He stretched his arm out to your cheek, careful not to wake you up.
He left a soft kiss to your temple before leaving your house.
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You woke up to a persistent ring of your doorbell.
You felt terrible...your hair was a mess, your nose was all clogged up and your eyes burned from all the crying.
You opened your door with annoyance, mad at whoever decided to burst your sadness bubble.
"Hey doll, I would've let myself in but my hands are kinda busy"
Your boyfriend stood there with a backpack on his shoulder and a carton box in his hands.
"So...do you happen to have a room to spare for a year or two...maybe three?"
You stare in disbelief your hand covering your mouth.
"I know that me being a villain might be a setback but...I got some hair dye? I might even consider letting you fix my jigsaw face."
Your body crashed into his, the box dropping to the ground as you squeezed your arms around him.
Maybe he can make you as happy as you make him.
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You knew he was rough around the edges, but you never even imagined that you would be the one his rage would be directed at.
As soon as insults came crashing your way you left the room.
You were just trying to calm him down, placing your hand on his shoulder as you urged him to stop shouting and just let it go.
His rough hands grabbed yours, throwing your hand away like you were a mere fly, his quirk burning your skin.
You tried calling out to him just for him to snap around and scream at you.
Once you reached your dorm tears freely rolled down your cheeks.
You yearned for a normal relationship, longed for some peace and quiet just for a week or two.
Yet you just couldn't let the blonde go, always hoping for some miracle to come your way and take ahold of his ego.
--------
It's around 2 am and he can't fall asleep for the hell of it.
You're not picking up his calls nor answering his texts and you've been inactive on social media for hours.
Kirishima has been urging him to go to your dorm for two hours already, spamming him massages about him not being manly enough to win you back.
It's not like he doesn't want to, he just has no idea how to. Should he get you something? Get you some food and flowers? Where the fuck can he find all these things at 2 am? Isn't that how people in movies apologize or something...
He hates when you're mad at him, he is scared shitless of actually scaring you off and pushing you away.
A knock at your door snaps you out of your thoughts and a small flame of hope warms your heart for a split second as you make your way to your door.
He's holding a gray hoodie and a pair of bento boxes.
"That's not gonna fix it Katsuki."
"I know shitty woman you didn't even give me a chance to speak!"
You're sure that that's the first time Bakugou said the word "sorry" in his whole life.
The way it rolled off his tongue was shaky but somewhat determined, his hand grabbing ahold of yours gently.
Guilt was evident on his face as he stroked the bandages covering your hands.
"It's not that bad Katsu, and I understand that it was an accident." you mumbled trying to pull from his grip so he can focus on something else.
He grabbed ahold of your wrists, bringing your palms to his lips.
"I'll work on it, I promise. It'll never happen again. I mean it." you just give a soft nod, leading him to the table.
"Good. Now let's eat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" you cheered, opening the bentos and stuffing your mouth with rice.
"Y/N...it's 4 am."
"Exactly, now eat, you're not gonna let me eat all of this by myself?!"
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For this man, it was close to impossible to make his s/o cry.
He cherishes the relationship he has with you, making you feel special every single day at a time.
So when he sees you crying, he's confused and alarmed.
He reaches for you, trying his best to give you the comfort he thinks you need.
When you push his hands away and scream at him...Oh boy...
He's terrified.
Did he do something? Did he forget your anniversary? Your birthday? Did he eat your snack from the fridge??
You're pulling at the strands of your hair, your head buried into your knees as you sob.
He looks around, eyes widening when he sees a photo of himself and some girl kissing on the screen of your phone.
He wasn't there? He has proof! He was in a meeting! All of his colleagues could confirm that, he just needs you to listen! Please listen to him.
He's talking...blabbering...begging for you to just look at him.
As soon as you look up for a split second, he's hugging you, smothering your face in kisses as you weakly try to push him away.
Finally he leans his forehead against yours, letting out a long sigh of relief when he realizes that you're not crying anymore.
"Please Shouta, please, if you even have any respect for me, don't lie to me." you mumble out coldly, turning your head from him.
"Y/N, I would never, ever do that to you! Never! I love you so much, please, you have to know that, you do know that!"
You're too stubborn, but he calls all of his colleges one by one, putting them on speaker for you, asking about the time of the meeting or details of the meeting and they all have the same answer.
So now, your throat is dry and there's a lump in your throat, guilt eating at you as you try to apologize.
He couldn't give two shits about any of that, all he has to know is that you're okay and that you're still his.
He's not letting you go for the rest of the day, you're wrapped under the blankets with him as he makes sure you never believe the bullshit you see online.
"Sweetheart if I ever cheat on you, that's the day I cut my own dick off and bleed to death."
It makes you giggle and then laugh hysterically and he's just looking at you with the biggest heart eyes 🥺
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Izuku would never do anything to make you cry.
He pays attention to every single detail in your relationship and he especially pays attention to your feelings.
What he is really bad at, is taking care of himself.
He doesn't take in consideration how you feel when he comes home all stitched up and tired, or how he stays up late to train and push himself further than his body can take.
However one day, he is exhausted from his training and he barely has any strength left. His phone rings and he is rushing out the door, already panting.
You don't reach him in time to stop him, so here you are, hours later next to his hospital bed.
The villain wasn't too powerful, but his state caused him to pass out in the middle of the bettle field.
As soon as he wakes up, you're yelling at him, but at the same time sobbing against his chest.
"I can't just stand here and watch you hurt yourself Zuku... I can't, I can't, I can't....O-one of these days you're just gonna slip away from my hands, I can't. Please" You're grip on him softens as you loose the strength in your hands.
His arms wrap themselves around you, trying his best not to flinch as you rub against his bandages.
His eyes are watering, realization dawning on him as he holds your tired body against him.
You're right...He sees the state of himself after a lowlife villain with a pathetic quirk sent him into the hospital. He doesn't even want to think about what would've happened if there was someone much stronger out there.
"Hey Y/N...I-...I might take a week off, to rest yeah? Does that sound good?"
You nod, wiping away the tears as you sniffle.
"And you won't be training at night anymore. And you won't be staying up late!" you scold as he rubs your cheeks.
"I won't. I promise." he places a kiss at your temple, pulling you onto the hospital bed next to him.
"Let's sleep for a bit yeah? I might owe you a few hours..."
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You're crying, he's crying.
He's down on one knee and he's stuttering, his hands shaking as he hears you cry out a happy "Yes".
He barely gets the ring on your finger, burying his head into your neck as soon as he gets to his feet.
You always thought that he was going to propose to you at home, maybe some homecooked dinner with roses and candles. You didn't mind that option either.
You were surprised that he even suggested a walk in the park.
I mean, it was a really small park with little to no people in the area but it was beautiful nonetheless.
You're all giddy and happy as he takes your hand in his, his eyes always glancing at the ring on your finger.
Once you spot an ice cream stand you leap in happiness, rushing to get ice cream for the both of you.
The lady selling it smiles brightly at you.
"Is that the lucky guy?" you nod grabbing your icecream as Tamaki hides behind you.
"Good job sweetheart, you're making this lady very happy, I can feel it in my old bones" you laugh at her remark as you nudge Tamaki forward.
She hands him his ice cream and winks at him.
He's blushing and thanking the lady before running off to an empty bench.
”He’s a lil’ shy but he's got the spirit” you say to the lady as you rush off to get him.
You take the time to really study the ring, the beautiful blue crystal shining in the sun.
”I...I hope you l-like it...Nejire helped me out. Uhm I probably shouldn't have said that...S-she-"
"I like it Tama...I love it actually" you place a gentle kiss just at the corner of his lips, his hands grabbing your cheeks and kissing you deeply in return.
His cheeks are warm and his lips are slow against yours but you melt against him, letting him place you in his lap.
"Oh my God, I have a fiancé, oh my God, I have to call Mirio and tell him you said yes. You said yes, right?"
You laugh as you shake your head at him, playing with his hair as he fumbles with his phone.
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All of the pictures are from the original anime/manga (please do correct me if I'm wrong in the comments below)
The Tamaki one has no angst in it because I had to heal from all of the emotional rollercosters.
___________
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decepti-thots · 2 years
Note
Just finished reading the spotlight: prowl post, so gotta ask, thoughts on the Costa run?
I really live in fear of the day I find out that there's some small group of Costa TF stans hanging out on this site, you know. I am so damn mean to that run without a single 'but different strokes!' caveat like I usually am with stuff I am really critical of. Hah. But yeah, I will say, I just unequivocally dislike most of Costa's work on TF.
And I don't feel like I'm being too mean there because y'know what? Costa gave an infamous interview where he basically expressed his frustration with the fact he didn't like writing for TF, so like, it's not as though the man himself seems to have been super fussed about the work he did on this comic. If I had to guess, Costa was probably just in a position as a comics writer in an infamously precarious industry where he couldn't turn down a steady regular ongoing, and hey. Fair. Comics are a nightmare to work in professionally. It happens. But like... the lack of interest shows, and it shows in that his TF comics, IMO, just were not. Good.
Costa's run is mostly bad in ways I think are very boring. He's not interested in the world or the characters. He has little interest in developing pre-existing characters or ideas. He looks for any opportunity to do his own thing apart from what came before, and spends too much time as a result in stuff that people just did not come to the comic for. His dialogue is disinterested. His plotting is meandering. Above all else it feels detached, to me.
Also, remember how he did that weirdass political nonsense? Like. Remember when the Decepticons were allied with. NORTH KOREA. And CHINA who are BAD and COMMIES, I GUESS because COMMIES BAD. Every time I remember this actually happened I have to lie down. It's absurd.
And the thing is, I said this a while ago, sometimes you will start reading an issue of the comic and go 'oh HM, that's an interesting idea, or character moment, actually', and then the actual comic will keep happening and it will just suck. Which is why I'm inclined to say the big issue here is probably just disinterest more than anything. If you describe some of the stuff just in summary, it actually has a lot of potential. A lot of the stuff with Hot Rod is, theoretically, actually the solid foundation for a good story. Some of the stuff with Starscream, too. There are ideas there that could be great. And then you... read the comic and it's just nothing. Nothing at all.
People sometimes talk about how MTMTE/LL or phase 2 generally was when IDW's TF comics broke out from being a hyper specific nerd thing into a general thing comics people were aware of in its own right, as more than a mediocre tie in that hardcore fans liked for nerd reasons and more just actual comics. This is not actually true. The first time that happened was when Costa's run being notoriously terrible broke containment and for a little while was something of a joke for how bafflingly bad it was. And tbh, that was earned.
Anyway, it's still so weird he went on to write a fucking bonkers-in-the-good-way balls to the wall weird and definitive-to-this-day Venom run that was basically good for all the reasons his TF stuff sucked??? Did he have a fucking awakening. Did he drop some acid and have an epiphany or something. Good for him but like. Woulda LOVED to see that energy on his TF run. What the hell man.
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glitterge1pen · 3 years
Text
Crayons Not Cigarettes
Kyōtani Kentarou x reader, sfw, fluff, word count 2,770
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If you looked it up on google the descriptors were "small venue" and "sports arena" and "stadium". The place took roughly ten minutes to walk around, the parking lot was huge, and it had those bright white lights out in the front. The entrance was a bit grand, big pillars with dozens of different sports flags. Tons of different teams, tournaments, and practices were held here.
You were starting your part time job at the concession stands today. You had already gone through the training a couple days ago, all that was left was actually doing your job. You were hoping you had a good shift partner, that you didn't spill any drinks, that people would be nice to you.
Tonight there was a volleyball match, you decide the crowd was decent for thirty minutes before game time. The regular attendees stood in lines at the front gates, waiting to be let in. Walking up to the employee only entrance you struggled with your key card to get it open. This was exactly how your manager had done it on training day. There was only five more minutes before your shift started, you were starting to worry you might be late.
"Turn it over"
You whipped around to see another person standing right behind you. He had blonde dyed hair with black streaks, and his eyes doused in eyeliner.
"Oh, thanks"
You kinda mumble it out, embarrassed that this very cute stranger had to see you struggle opening a door.
"Do you work here too?"
You ask as you hold the door open for him.
"No"
You take his short reply as him saying the conversation is over. You still have to awkwardly walk next to him down the long employee corridor though. After a rather long pause he continues speaking.
"I'm a volleyball player. On game days we get to use the employee entrances and doors."
"Really? That's cool,"
Up further down the hall you can see where your paths will diverge.
"Well I hope the game goes well for you"
He says nothing, but does nod his head before leaving for the locker room area. You turn the other way to the employee office. Put your jacket and bag into a locker, clock in on the old desktop, and walk out to the counter to start your shift. Your shift partner isn't there yet so you begin setting things up at the booth alone.
You flick on all the machines, filling up the icee mixer with dyed flavors, a new pouch of cheese for the nacho dispenser. You unpackage plastic cups, open up different cupboards and drawers trying to familiarize yourself before you have to start serving people. You get change from the back, filling up the register. Finally your shift partner shows up. Just in time to because you start to hear the sounds of people entering.
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
Your next shift was for a highschool gymnastics tournament. The concessions stand was in a large hallway between different gymnasiums, wedged between the gift shop and Subway. Since it was a smaller event you were the only one working the counter. Hardly anyone was buying anything though. The fan behind the counter gave a gentle hum, the music rather quiet amongst the sounds of people.
“You still got bottled water?”
It was that guy from your first day. You duck below the counter to grab a bottle, hand it to him and start ringing up the total.
“You guys won that game the other day, right?”
You knew they had won. You had spent your break trying to get a glimpse of the player who you had spoken to. You had only gotten to see him for a few moments, his body in the air, hand coming down on the ball sending it over the net in one fluid motion. After pulling the metal shutters down over the counter at closing, you had walked back to the courts to confirm the score.
“Yeah,”
It was here that another volleyball player came up to the counter.
“I told you that you could use one of my extra water bottles! You didn't have to go and buy one!”  
The other player turned his attention to you.
“Sorry that my scary friend is bothering you-”
“Scary?”
You asked confused, but he kept talking.
“I’m Konganegawa, me and Kyotani are both Sendai Frogs!”
Kyotani.
“Nice to meet you both”
You say.
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
Kyotani sat on the counter of the concession stand. You liked it when he was perched up there, he warded customers off fairly well. You were certain that practice had ended a while ago, but you said nothing in fear of sending him away. He didn't always say much, or anything sometimes, but his presence was comforting to you. Even if it wasn't always abundantly clear you could tell he paid attention to you, like he was standing watch.
He knew your schedule, what snacks to buy for you on break, what songs you liked best on your manager's store playlist. He had quickly become your favorite part of work. It didn't matter who you shared shifts with, if you had gotten swamped at the register, or if you had to mindlessly wipe the counters with boredom. As long as Kyotani was there work wasn't ever terrible.
“The team is having a get together”
You had been re-arranging the plastic utensils on the counter but stopped to listen to him.
“You wanna come?”
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
“And you like Kyotani? Like you’d want to go on a date with him?”
Yamaguchi was teasing you, his voice trying to communicate how ridiculous he thought the notion was. You had quickly grown close to him after tagging along to a few of the Sendai Frog events. He came to every game and usually made an appearance at the concession stand to chat with you or you would find him in the stands. Today was one of those days.
“You are literally dating Tsukkishima”
Yamaguchi perked up in defense,
“They are nothing alike!”
“That I can agree on”
Both of you dissolving into laughs. Yamaguchi's face steadied and got more serious.
“You really do feel that way about him?”
He asked.
“Yes, I mean even when we first met I thought he was cute, and we keep hanging out more and more, and I just keep liking him more and more”
Yamaguchi looked ready to say something else when he stopped himself. You turned around, suddenly feeling another's company. Kyotani was right there, you wondered if he had heard anything you said but his expression betrayed nothing.
“You're on your break?”
“Yeah, what's up?”
He seemed, you couldn't find the exact word, but it was between dejected and bitter. You wanted to ask if he was okay but he spoke first.
“I thought you'd be watching the game”
“We had been,”
Yamaguchi said, jumping into the conversation.
“Yeah, the first set was just about to end, concessions is gonna be swamped when I get back”
You said, you trying to meet Kyotani’s eyes, to see if they would reveal anything to you but no such luck was granted.
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
You try to focus on the customers you have. A dance competition was in the big gym today, the entire place was packed. You hand out bags of popcorn, perfectly filled cups of beer to the brim. At one of the tables placed outside your stand is Kyotnai. He was practically stewing, his aura strong and unavoidable. He was making it harder to count out change and your eyes kept drifting from customers to him. He had been sitting there for a while. You thought that maybe someone else from the team would come drag him back to practice, but that didn't happen.
The last customer in line left, the competition having gotten louder, more intense, pulling people away from the food. That last customer was replaced with Kyotani’s scrunched up sulking, angry face. Normally you wouldn't call it sulking, just angry or annoyed, but he definitely had traces of sulking on him.
“A couple weeks ago,”
He got this part out fine, but the rest of his words came a little more quiet.
“You had been talking to Yamaguchi on your break during a game, who were you talking about?”
You don't know what to say. You stumble over a few words, none of them sounding right. He was so direct and challenging, you felt as if no matter what you said he would eventually pull it from you. You only managed to get one word out properly.
“Why?”
He didn't answer and this surprised you.
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
Kyotani stood under one of the lamps outside the main entrance. You thought you could see the outline of a  pack of cigarettes in his pocket. He didn't smell like smoke and you had never seen him do it before. You didn't move for a moment wondering if you could catch him smoking now.
“Hey fuckface! We going or not?”
Kyotani had spotted you and called out.
“Yeah, yeah”
You said rushing over to meet him. You could no longer count on your fingers how many times you had hung out with him. A couple of movies, lots of grabbing food after his practice or your shift, that time you found out he couldn't roller skate, that one trip to the museum. He had kissed one of the statues in defiance when you told him to stop touching things. Unfortunately for him that was the exact moment you had pulled out your phone to snap some pictures.
Today though he was tagging along with you to the store. You needed to pick a couple things up before going home. He had offered to drive. In the car, you recounted that day's incidents. A spilled soda on your pants, a customer yelling at you about their cotton candy, and getting scolded for coming in five minutes late.
“Why are you working there? Not that it’s bad, but you kinda hate it”
“Anyone hates working in a job where you have to give people food and wear a collared shirt, plus I don't hate it you're there”
That part about him wasn’t something you planned to say and you chose to ignore the seinement and keep talking.
“I’m just trying to save up money right now, I have other things in life I want, and you?”
You asked, at the light he stopped to look at you.
“What do you mean?”
“You just have volleyball brain, that's it?”
He hesitated here, it was brief but it was there.
“Volleyball brain is my diagnosis”
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
Once in the store Kyotani pushed a cart around while you led him up and down different aisles. You pulled off bottles of dish soap, a pack of clorox wipes. You were going to turn down to the electronics center to see if they had any cute phone cases you might want when Kyotani cut in front of you with the cart.
“Let’s go the other way”
“It’s faster if we go this way”
You tried walking past him but he didn't budge. You huff, and shoulder check him when turning in the direction he wants to go. This happens a few more times. You wanted to loop around to the grocery aisle when he insisted you lap the whole store instead of just cutting past the toys and books. You forgot to grab that extra phone charger you had been wanting and he wouldn't let you pass by the magazines to get it. In the end you had waited with the cart while he went to grab it for you.
When you were loading the bags into the back seat of his car he asked what you wanted to eat.
“You sure you want to go out? You seemed nervous in the store”
You say.
“I’m fucking hungry”
Is all he says, but you know he's trying to lighten the mood from the strange way he was acting in the store. In the car he lets you pick the music and roll the windows down.
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
It was a weekend morning and once again you were back at the store. You thought about the last time you were here a couple weeks before with Kyotani. Recently you have fallen into a type of rhythm with Kyotani. You spent a lot of your free time with him, with each other's friends, your lives were almost totally meshed together. More often than not people assumed you two were dating. Even if you wanted that to be true you were still unsure how he felt about you.
You had your basket and were on the way to the check out when spotted a book on display. Oftentimes you would send pictures of frogs and frog merchandise to the Sendai Frog group chat you had been roped into. Even if you weren't on the team you had officially been adopted into the group because “you work for home base!” according to Koganegawa. You picked the book up off the shelf.
They were the cutest drawings you had ever seen. They were simple and rough. Done in crayon which made them so charming. The title of the book was Frogs Go Ribbit! , if the display card was right this was the authors fourth picture book and so far the most popular. You opened up the first pages.
Frogs ribbit all day long
When they snooze and when they watch the morning news
Each frog had different types of music notes drawn coming from their mouth. Some frogs had bright colorful notes, one had notes that looked like plants and flowers, one had notes covered in flames. The one with flames had dark lines drawn under its eyes. It reminded you of Kyotani, if you weren't going to buy the book before you were now. You turned the page. Then snapped it shut.
At the movies buying tickets, during museum visits  
It was you. Sure you were a little crayon cartoon but that was you. It was you and a little frog that looked like Kyotani. That was your hair, your favorite pair of shoes. It was you and frog Kyotani in line buying movie tickets. You pull out your phone and scroll back in your photos to when you and Kyotani had first gone to the movies. It was even the same outfit. On the museum page you gasped when you realized who the other frog was.
Tsukishima's frog had glasses, a figure that was unmistakably Yamaguchi pointing in excitement at a painting next to the frog. There was no way it wasnt Yamaguchi and Tsukki. The green tufts of hair, you had helped him dye many times now so obvious. You and Kyotani were on the museum page as well. Kyotanis frog sticking its tongue out to latch onto a statue while you hit him on the head. Little yellow exclamations drawn around the point of impact. You flipped to the next page.
In the trees, on the court they ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! It fills their hearts!
There was a Koganegawa frog hidden in a basket of volleyballs. Tsukishima's frog blocking a serve from Yamaguchi with its tongue. Yachi was also on this page cheering from the stands. You were crouched down next to Kyotani’s frog patting him on the head, a doodle of a heart floating off him. The rest of the team was there drawn as frogs as well. Sure they weren't wearing jerseys with their numbers, there wasn't a Sendai Frogs banner, but that was them.
You flip through the rest of the book rather quickly. The book telling the tale of how frogs need to take breaks from their ribbits, how they need to eat well, sleep well, and love others. The page with the frogs eating had you feeding Kyotani a plate of flies. When you closed the last page and turned over to see who the author and illustrator were, all that was there on the front cover were the initials M.D. You pull out your phone from your pocket as you start grabbing as many of the books as you can. Your hand finding the contact you were looking for.
“Yamaguchi, you're never going to believe this but I think Kyotani feels the same way I do and you're also not going to believe how I figured that out”
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
A/N: ahahahahah I don't know why this ended up so long BUT ALSO LIL FROG THAT GO RIBBIT. And here's the playlist that I listened to while I wrote; cherry sparkling water
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spockandawe · 3 years
Note
Hi.....if you don't mind me asking, what are your top 10 favorite books? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before....
This is an interesting question, and a difficult one! Which is why I let it steep for a few days while I was in a bookbinding fugue, haha XD
I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer it, because my level of fondness is highly dependent on how recently I read a book/how many times I’ve reread it, with an optional nostalgia modifier if something made a huge impression in my youth. And when I’m picking favorites, as the number of potential [thing] expands, the more I end up dithering and fretting that I’m forgetting something HUGE as I choose. So rather than a selection of top ten, I’ll just run down through some of my favorites! I’ll split it as five cnovels (recent reads, current genre hyperfixation) and five more conventional english-language novel (realistically, probably more like series, unless a standalone book occurs to me), and I’m not going to rank the conventional novels.
SO. Regular novels first. There’s a heavy recently-read/frequently-reread element going on in here. 
The Imperial Radch trilogy, by Ann Leckie. Okay, I am a sucker for a nonhuman protagonist, which is going to pop up in at least two other entries. And I’m also a sucker for themes of what can be perceived about a person externally versus their internal world, and Breq delivers like WHOA. She has SO MUCH going on in her head, and even though we’re in there with her, she still hides lots of her emotions from us. And characters like Seivarden hit me in character development buttons that I’m a sucker for, and the whole idea of consciousness being split across multiple bodies is DELICIOUS to me. Also... love me a sentient spaceship. ‘The Ship Who X’ series by Anne McCaffrey isn’t going to make this list, but I also love it a lot. (also, a universe of ‘she’s made me realized how STARVED i was for that degree of representation in certain genres that i love a lot, but don’t often see myself in as often as i might like)
The Murderbot series, by Martha Wells. Another nonhuman, sometimes-human-passing protagonist! Another one processing MASSIVE trauma of a sort that I, the human reader, have to slow down a lot and try to comprehend from an extremely different life experience! I like that a lot, it really forces me to LINGER on the nature of what a character is feeling. And oh my god, Murderbot’s voice is one of my favorite pov voices of all time. And watching it work (or go hogwild on its own asdfdgd) is absolutely delightful. I love literally everything about this series, except what happened with Miki. Other than that? Flawless.
The Books Of The Raksura, by Martha Wells. Martha Wells is a DELIGHT, y’all. Also! Another heavily-traumatized, nonhuman protagonist! And this time, like... It’s a fantasy world with huge amounts of sentient species, and the protagonist grew up away from his people, who are basically a bunch of feral homesteaders (LOVE THAT), and is trying to figure out how to reintegrate into their societal structures as an adult. That desperate desire to belong and feeling of discomfort and not-fitting-in, and the connections he makes and the way he DOES find a way to fit... like if u crey every time. Also, as far as we’re shown, it’s a cheerfully bisexual, polyamorous society, and *grabby hands*
Discworld, by Terry Pratchett. God, what do I even say about this series. It was a PARADIGM SHIFT. It’s bitingly funny, and also just plain biting, and full of huge varieties of interesting stories, set in a fascinating world, with a series of protagonists who I love too much for words. Vimes! The witches! Moist!!! They’re all so WONDERFUL. I still haven’t read the last book in the series yet, because then it will be Over Forever, and I can’t deal. This one is heavily nostalgia-tinted, but also, I stand by it.
The Belgariad/Mallorean, by David Eddings. Okay. Also very nostalgia, and the choice I can justify the least. But these books CLICKED with me. I’m afraid to reread them, because I’ve been wallowing in queer fiction for so long I’m worried about what the compulsory heterosexuality will feel like, and I know both series are very... episodic, in a way that isn’t necessarily great literature. But I dunno! Feels good, man. It’s high fantasy with a magical system I like, segmented worldbuilding of a sort that isn’t necessarily WELL-MADE, but it’s like... comfortable and easy. And something about the style and the character voices just clicks with me. I have no idea how well these hold up in the present day, but I do love them, and I’ve been planning to reread at least The Redemption Of Althalus by the same author as a standalone before I commit to a 12-book rereading of this universe, but.... I like em XD
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Cnovels! I think I can rank these, so let’s go for it.
Fifth favorite: The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish :B Look, it’s ridiculous. It’s a transmigration story where the lead enters this fictional universe in the body of a fish, where he is adopted by a prince who eventually falls in love with him, and YES IT IS TAGGED MPREG, BUT HOLD ON A MOMENT-- I don’t know! I came here to point and laugh, but I’m honestly having such a good time right now. It’s really cute! And sweet! The main character is delightful, and the love interest is that particular flavor of semi-socialized upper-class young man, where like, can he do court politics? yes. can he politely express his affections for the main character? uh....... less so. It’s a really fun read, and I felt very sincere emotions about this prince who is passionately, deeply in love with his pet fish!
Fourth favorite: Mmmmmm, Mo Dao Zu Shi, I think. I struggle here, because it is NOT an easy book to read or show to watch, but having consumed the story, I love it to PIECES. I know a big draw for me is the protagonist, specifically, and his relationships to the people around him. And the more I cared about him, the more I wound up caring about the people around him, who I’d kind of neglected before, if that makes sense? It’s a story that really rewards some good old pondering. I didn’t care that much about Lan Xichen, but then I started thinking about how Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji relate to Lan Xichen, and then oh no, I care SO MUCH about his emotions, and now I’m thinking more deeply about how Lan Xichen relates to Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue-- It does lose points in this ranking because it IS hard to get into, and I would struggle to keep everyone straight even more if I didn’t have the show visuals to lean on, but it is still story I enjoyed VERY much.
Third favorite: Erha, but I feel REALLY, REALLY BAD that I can’t fit Yuwu on this list too, and I just want to loop them together. It’s time travel fixit fic, but it’s the book! Yes????? I love this. I love the striking character growth we get to see, and the changing perception of the world as the main character relives through events he already experienced and sees things in a new light, and I adore how Mo Ran’s growing guilt goes hand in hand with his growing love. And Meatbun in general... like, my god. I haven’t read another author who’s able to yank me through emotional whiplash so hard and fast. She makes me hoot with laughter one moment and then burst into tears the next. It’s absolutely wild. I love mxtx, and I think svsss/tgcf are gentler entry points into the genre and deal with lighter themes, but meatbun is seriously an UNBELIEVABLE writer if you can deal with the darker topics she covers.
Second favorite: The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System :V Look, I love it. I just love it. I love, again, characters dealing with the aftereffects of old trauma, plus I do also love seeing NEW trauma piled on top of it. I love having a main character with emotional dysregulation issues who doesn’t necessarily make good decisions, but doesn’t just leave me thinking ‘jfc what an asshole’, and I think that’s a really hard balance for an author to strike, especially without us getting direct pov. I love themes of being wanted and insecurity about being wanted, which is Luo Binghe’s major, major damage. And this is my first transmigration story I ever read, and the contrast between a main character who read the novel telling us about what’s totally going to happen versus the ground shifting under his feet is INCREDIBLY delightful to me. I’ve read other transmigration stories I enjoyed, but none that got my attention quite as much as this one.
First favorite: Tian Guan Ci Fu ;u; It’s so good. It’s so well-made! It’s so LONG, and it meanders, but also, I would scream if anyone tried to trim anything out of it. I am here a lot for the ship, honestly, but I also find the plot themes VERY interesting. I am very much here for reading about characters trying to process old trauma that’s been dredged up by new events, and also very here for the themes about how characters either pass their traumas along to the next generation, or try to shield the next generation from taking the same kind of damage (see: mdzs). And I’m also very much into tempering stories about pain with like... memories of kindness, and small acts of kindness repaid with an outpouring of devotion (see: svsss). But the craftsmanship in this book is just... DIVINE. I’m always reluctant to start rereading this one, because I have a terrible time stopping. There’s nothing about this book that I don’t like.
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genshin-obsessed · 2 years
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I dread everything about school, sure, I got some friends. But that doesn't help ease the pain of having a mental breakdown the night before school starts.
I've given up trying to ask my mom or dad if I could get a day off, my mom wouldn't allow me since my dad won't let me. My dad has said he only cares about my education, so I don't see the point in trying anymore.
I envy people who have a mental break day where they can skip school/work. Even in the weekend I can't get rest without thinking about tomorrow. I had a breakdown last week and ended up being yelled at by my dad. Now I really don't think he cares about me besides getting an education.
I already plan on getting an actual job, started a business, how much longer do I have to suffer before I can just get a day off? Or when will I ever be good enough for him?? I'm trying to do things that make me useable enough for society, even though my grades are fucking failing and I can't stop lashing out on things.
These things don't matter anyway, he'll just end up telling me again "and I don't want to go to work" then WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT JOB?? fucking peice of shit, he doesn't care about my mental health unless it makes me unable to be a working citizen and get an education.
I'm so fucking tired, I'm trying to keep everything in, but I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid that something will happen that I can't control. I don't want to hurt someone again, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it all in.
I just have to suck it all up, going to school like nothing happened, again. My suicidal thoughts have started to come back, my anxiety has been worse and worse, and I feel like relapsing again.
The only reason I don't self-harm anymore is so I don't get put into a mental hospital again. But if I end up not keeping all these urges and thoughts away then I'll just end up in the mental hospital or worse, an actual prison. The mental hospital felt like a prison anyway, which is why I'm scared to tell any teacher or adult at my school.
It's also 1am, and I shouldn't be bothering anyone with this. I can't bother my sister, she has to get enough sleep to go to work, and with how much little time I get with her now, it's just like when she was in college and i had nobody. My parents are useless in this situation, because my mom would just get yelled at by my dad for suggesting me staying home. And talking to her feels so.. uncomfortable. My dad is just a no. There is no talk about my mental health, if I'm feeling sad, I'll just have to deal with it.
I'm stuck, I don't know how much longer this will last, but probably for a couple more years.
I wish I could easily take my life away, there is hardly anything I want in life anymore.
Just a note before I start: I made a new tag for anyone to block because I’m gonna allow more serious topics with it. I’ll go with the regular tw tags as well, but this one is just one big tag: 🐚— vent
Right, onto you anon. I wanna start by saying I am so, so sorry you’re going through this. I understand, my mother was extremely hard on me in school. She rarely let me take breaks off of school and kept his idea that I had to attend almost every day to be a good student and to have a good education.
Even in college, both of my parents are pretty hard on me to take “good classes” and not “waste” my time. I don’t think many parents understand the stresses of school and it makes it hard for them to understand how terrible those days can be.
The school system is all messed up. Learning subjects that most of us won’t use- unless you’re choose a job in that particular field- teachers pile on too much homework, everything is just memorization at this point, and it gives us little time to relax. The way some teachers even assign homework makes it hard for us to even relax on weekends, which is why we have them. You really only have summer and even then, some parents force their children into extra activities then.
You feelings are valid. 100%. You’re allowed to feel exhausted, especially when you’re not getting any breaks. Getting through high school is the probably the only thing that’s really required for most jobs. But having a college degree doesn’t mean you’ll be rolling in money. It just means you can have a more secure job but by no means guarantees success. Parents don’t realize that.
For you, especially, it’s all building up. I’m sure you already know this to. Holding it in 100% won’t help. The stress also seems to be affecting your school work and it’s making it harder to pass classes which just leads your parents to lash out. It’s a vicious cycle that just doesn’t stop. And the only way to really stop such a thing is to take a step back, but you’re not even allowed to do that.
I think the attempt to please your dad’s ideals is also adding stress. You want to be good enough, and that’s understandable, but sometimes parents project what they couldn’t do onto us. Sometimes, it’s never enough because at the end of the day, they’re not the ones who could accomplish that. I’m sorry to say that and I hope it doesn’t upset you further, but maybe you should try doing this for yourself and not him. Some parents will never be happy- as sad as it is to say that.
I’m glad you don’t self harm, and I’m really proud of you for breaking away from that. Yes, it may just be to stay away from the mental hospital, but I’m still happy you’re staying away from it. Although, I would recommend talking to someone about this, other than me of course, because I can’t do much for you, unfortunately. I can only listen and offer a bit of advice.
Though you don’t want to stress out your sister, it seems like she may be the only one you can kind of trust. Maybe if you’re of age, you could try talking to a therapist or meeting with a school counselor/therapist. They may be able to actively help you, maybe even working with some of your teachers to lessen the workload. Either way, they’ll be more helpful than me.
I want you to know you’re doing an amazing job though. You’re still going after all of this and I know it seems bad, but I know it’ll get better. I know this isn’t much, but I’m very proud of your resilience.
If anything, when you’re on your own and in college, you can 100% take a break and you’ll definitely deserve it. But I do want you to try and talk to somebody you find you can trust. Or try to reach out for help, because something like this can’t be done alone.
There is one thing I think you want and that’s to be free from all of this. School, your parents, the exhaustion, the stress, and so that can be your goal. Though these days will show up often, maybe the idea of being free from all of this while still being able to live a happy life can be that push you need. I’m not sure if you’re able to move away for college, but I would recommend you do that. It’s a little difficult to be on your own, but you’ll get to choose how you live.
I know my response was kinda all over the place, but I really hope it helped anon💖💖 you’re always welcome to come here and talk to me if you’d like. Maybe about school, homework, just to vent, or chat! I would like to hear how you’re doing too 🥺💖
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haha totally epic and not really long review i spent almost an hour writing how i felt about the first episode haha no NO
S1;E1 (King Me) Review that's more of a personal rant than actual review i'm sorry help me
(warning this is a VERY long review towards how I felt towards the first episode, and there will be MANY, MANY more like this; but dont worry, not will be like this lol)
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King Me was an episode that already began to show the progress towards King Julien and his efforts towards him and the kingdom. We already know what happens; But for the ones who don't or at least don't remember- Uncle King Julien, King Julien's Uncle, obviously, was foretold a prophecy from Masikura about a prophecy where if a king was wearing a crown tomorrow night, they would get eaten by the foosa. Intrigued with a plan, Uncle King Julien gives the crown to his nephew while they're unaware of what's expected to come.
We can already tell his uncle's a bit of a douche, already wanting to kill his son off from day one. But the question lies through; Was this something he's been wanting to do for sometime, or just a 'without a second thought' decision? It's unclear, but this only shows how retched this guy's family really is. It's a bit saddening to know King Julien comes from such a terrible family, honestly. We already know about how his parents are, but we'll get about them when they make their first appearance in the later episodes.
Moving on, the episode later showed Mort's first interaction with the King. It shows that Mort had always encountered Julien, but never spoke to him until now, hence why King Julien was asking Mort's name. This also shows Mort already had quite the liking towards him before his feet addiction, but we're not sure how much he liked him. Was he just a regular fanatic or something more before then? His interest towards the feet didn't really skyrocket until the later seasons (which will be very interesting to talk about, so get ready for that soon, heuha).
I enjoyed seeing the part where he defeated the foosa through an interest many saw as a negative. The one thing I definitely liked in this episode was how his negative characteristics (being a party animal) were taken in a positive light. It's obvious Julien can take something bad into something good, and he always finds his own ways into solving situations, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to most. He takes his own precaution and steps, and most of the time; They usually work! It showed his own potential as a king, and didn't want to stick to the rules that the past kings have probably enforced onto themselves and others. It's already proof enough that Uncle King Julien's method of handling things was through running away and being in fear, and it was the kind of method Julien sort of took when the foosa first attacked at his coronation.
It was well established in the start of the episode that his uncle took things through seclusion and limitation. Halfway through the episode, it was revealed that his uncle even banned his people from doing fun, exciting things (as in worry of them attracting the foosas), which is kind of a low, but it's his uncle, so it's not even a big surprise whatsoever. King Julien obviously didn't want to keep that law, so it makes sense he would well... veto it. Sometimes it makes me feel bad for the kingdom despite Maurice said 'he kept us all safe'. Regardless if he did, restricting everyone's activities for the sake of 'not attracting the foosas' seems a little numb-handed. His uncle should've thought of something better rather than forcing everyone to stay quiet most of the time and restricting most activities. He could've maybe told them how to fight, or told them how to set up warning signs for foosas'.
It's kind of stupid how Clover wasn't being the main defender since it was clearly shown she has the skills and defensive tactics to protect her kingdom. Yet again, she was just the head of security, and not the bodyguard. It's unknown how long she has been working with Uncle King Julien, but I'm sure he's known her long enough to know she could've been the perfect security to stop the foosas' back then, but it would make sense he would probably tell her to back from the foosas' since he didn't want to risk losing anyone. I mean, it was already proven from Maurice they lost half of the kingdom to the foosas' last year- which is definitely... news right there.
But what truly got me the most out of everything else in the episode was King Julien's quote to his people when he told them they would be dealing with the foosa again in the future; How if there isn't a tomorrow for them, then they should make their day extra big. It's a neat sentiment and less of a negative quote, serving more as a neutral one that reassures but gives the lemurs an understanding to what they're really dealing with in the jungle life. It's funny but strange to me on how King Julien could easily accept the fates he expects to probably deal with in the future. Maybe cause he's so used to already hearing so many lemurs get eaten by foosas; Some I bet he saw with his very own eyes.
But even so, he already gives his audience a pill that their past king probably would be too afraid to say to them, and that was honesty.
Brutal honesty. But an honesty with hope. He tells his people to make their days last, because they, and not even King Julien himself, knows when it's time to go. (cough - cough COUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNHnhnhn)
This episode was a true testimate to what King Julien is, and serves as an absolute justice to his usual roles back in the Madagascar movies and The Penguins of Madagascar; I applaud DreamWorks for giving this lemur the show he deserves, and the justice they gave to all the other lemurs and some others from the first Madagascar movie into this show, giving them the screen time they deserve as well- it truly shows how much the company really cares for its characters, and I give them huge respect for that. These are more than just 'cash grab spin offs', these are spin-offs I bet many, many people asked and wondered for years- and there it came.
But that's my review for the first episode. It's long, but whatever. As I progress through the other episodes, the reviews will be much more exciting, wacky, and well... review-y, lol.
They'll also probably be a bit shorter since I don't want to make every review be as long and detailed, heuha. Just felt like posting the first episode review out there. Will post the second episode review soon and then after I'll be reviewing the rest of season 1 and then turning it all into a single notepad that I'll publicly share to y'all.
Am very excited to show y'all more of my own personal reviews. :>
What are y'alls personal opinion towards the first episode? lol
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URGENT QUESTION TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS, I NEED YOUR FEEBACK!
Okay so here's the situation. I am asking you all to please please read this through and like, maybe tell me if I made the right decision... because I feel terrible about this. I would love it if someone told me if this is correct or wrong and I should've done something else. I'm not a popular blog, so whoever this post might reach (which is not going to be a lot of people) please please take some time out to read this through. I know it's a really long post, but I really really need your opinion on this. If you don't have the time right now, maybe just reblog it and save it for later. It would also help this post reach more people. Also please check the tags for the trigger warnings.
I have been going to a therapist for about 5 months now. My mom, as you probably know by now, is narcissistic and my dad enables her, along with my mom's parents who we live with. I have no siblings, and I just turned 17. Since we live in Asia, all you desi people know how hard society is on us when we go against our parents, who are supposed to be godly figures.
So all along, my therapist, (for confidentiality's sake we'll call him Sam, 21), has been bent on making me talk to them. I dont know why. I've tried explaining so many times that talking to my mom is not an option because 1) NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE DON'T EVER CHANGE and 2) my mom WILL use all my words against me and twist them into whatever she wants and later bring them up to bring me down. You guys with narcissistic parents know this shit too well.
It's not like I haven't ever even tried talking to them, I have! I've done it so many times, with a calm tone, in the most diplomatic way possible. There were times I tried to get the point across by crying and being desperate too. There were also times where I thought anger might work out.
It never did. It doesn't. It won't, because she is not looking for solutions or for mending the bond between us. All she wants is to infantilize me and keep me under her control forever. Mom and dad both want this. They don't ever want to let me out of their sights. They don't let me out of their sights.
A very long story short, I am supervised 24/7, I don't have much of a phone, I don't have friends, I don't have any family members who would support me, I don't have much of a family either tbh. I am monitored like crazy, gaslighted every single day, lied to, manipulated like hell, and babied to the point where it's just narcissistic infantilization and not concern anymore. To them, I'm a baby when it suits them, and I'm an adult when it suits them better that way. She doesn't care about what I think because apparently I'm a liar and to all those people out there who know the smear campaigning and the flying monkeys and the triangulation....yeah. All of that happens on a regular basis. I know I'm not providing any concrete proof and situations but please believe me. Please believe me. My memory is so shot I can't remember anything and i know it doesn't work out in my favor but please please believe me I'm telling the truth...
I have made three suicide attempts, I used to cut and was very badly addicted to it, and now I don't cut, but yeah I'll be sharing the reason in a little bit. Please hold on, this means a huge deal to me. Please don't scroll past this.
So Sam never really even had a smidge of doubt that my mom might be narcissistic, and I wasn't given the benefit of doubt either. After months of research when I myself figured that it might be narcissism, I told him and he went along with it. He does believe me now. But somehow I don't feel very understood. I dont feel better after I talk to him. I feel like my problems are trivial and that I'm just not working hard enough. I feel misunderstood and I never feel satisfied. I asked him for tips to deal with crushing loneliness and panic attacks and stuff like that, but I never receive real answers. When I asked for help with my suicidal thoughts, he just said that it's never an option and that's it. That's the only answer I got. When I asked for help with cutting, the only answer I got was that if I even tried to cut again, I'd lose him.
Like. Is that really how therapy is supposed to work?
Half of the time we just while time away, talking as if we're friends and I mean, it's a paid session. We're not very financially well off right now, what with the pandemic and everything, and we're paying him 2000 INR a week. It's a lot for us because we ain't exactly rich. That's like 10,000 INR a month.
I try to talk, I'm told that I don't stop talking and don't let him speak. When I don't speak, I'm not speaking enough. I dont feel comfortable anymore in a way that I think I should be with a therapist. I have recieved more helpful advice from actual PhD psychologists who are making videos on dealing with narcissism on YouTube. I feel more understood by them than I ever have with him. So many times I have left the session crying and hours later I'd still be stifling tears. So many times I don't feel heard and I feel like if I told him something he'd be angry. Sometimes he snaps and is like way too straightforward and it just doesn't do well with me. He doesn't support a lot of stuff that I support, like anti body shaming, especially for overweight people and stuff like LGBTQIA+ too, really. I'm mocked in an underhand way if I express that I support stuff that he doesn't really like. It's not straightforward but... I can't shake the feeling.
I do sometimes look forward to the sessions, if only because I'll have someone to talk to...but that's pretty much it. I'm not getting anything out of this. He claims that no one will understand me the way he does, and he keeps comparing my life to his, which I don't like. He says that in a way he and I both very similar and he relates to me and then proceeds to tell me about events in his life. He says that I'm his favorite client and now a good friend too, but I feel like that's not how it should be. And I do make an effort to listen to him tell me stuff about his life but...shouldn't it be the other way round?
Now I'm not saying that he is a bad person. I have loads of my own issues too; severe depression, crippling anxiety, overthinking every freaking thing, I'm like 100% sure I have complex PTSD from this childhood trauma, constant pain everywhere, crazy headaches, flashbacks, nightmares, hallucinations sometimes, and major emotion repression. I'm dealing with a million and one things right now and yes that might be causing me to feel worse about this situation than I should. I admit that I'm not exactly thinking about this in a diplomatic way...but somehow it doesn't feel right, and hence this really long post.
If you're still here, thank you so much. Your reading this is doing something that means a lot to me. Truly.
He exercises a lot, and he gave me a whole schedule to follow with the meals I should eat and the exercise I should do and somehow I never feel like I'm doing enough. If I miss out I can't tell him because he always reprimands me for messing up. I dont feel comfortable about opening up and then he forces me to do that and then when I do I don't feel better.
Lately, we'd been talking about how I need to tell my parents to their face what I feel is wrong with their actions, and how without that happening there's no point to our sessions anymore. Straight up went that if I don't talk to them on this Sunday, then we're not going to have sessions anymore.
I tried explaining to him many times how my mom will never change, how I don't want to enrage them further, how I don't want to give her more information on my life that she can use against me again...but no use.
He insisted over and over again on how she has no idea what she's doing to me, and if we just talked it out, my whole situation will be fine. This is just a huge misunderstanding.
I tried so hard to make him understand that that's not how it works for her, she doesn't want to resolve things and she'll just jump at the first chance she gets to use all my information against me, but no. I tried telling him that I have talked to her before and that I also used to think that if I just told her what they were doing wrong, then they would understand and mend their ways, I mean it took me YEARS to convince myself that it was never gonna happen! I tried it so many times and everytime I fell for this trap and everytime I regretted it but he doesn't get that! At all! That they're never gonna change!
Instead of helping me get over them, instead of telling me how to move on, instead of helping me grieve over my entire childhood... he was forcing me to talk things out with them, because if I didn't tell them I would be keeping it inside me and letting that fester would be bad.
I agree that it's not healthy for me to keep things to myself, which is why I talked to him right? And the things which are troubling me cannot be resolved with them because they refuse to change their ways!
The only thing that would come out of that family discussion is me at a disadvantage and them at an advantage by having all the latest scoop on my life and then have my mom (who is a doctor who has also done a course on CBT) psychoanalyse me even more than she does now. I'd be tailed harder. It will get worse and I know it. I've seen it and I promised myself that I would never make the same mistake of opening up to them honestly ever again. And here Sam wanted me to that very thing.
And I agreed initially, I tried convincing myself that maybe it'll work out and after all, Sam will be defending me and everything (even though he did say he would support them if he found them correct) but I didn't feel good about it. I remembered that a therapist is supposed to make you feel more at ease and let you take your own time to process through things and never force a client to do something if they had doubts about it.
And so I texted him today, and I refused. He said we won't have any more sessions, but I said it's fine. Because I don't want to go to him anymore anyway. I think I would rather have no one to talk to, than have someone belittle my experiences and just overall make me feel worse than I did when I first entered the session.
There's more stuff that was related to this, and if you guys want to know something before making your judgement of this situation, please please please ask me, message me, but please just have a bird's eye view on this whole thing and tell me if I made the right decision...please.
I would really appreciate some feedback right now.
Thank you so,so much for sticking with me till the end of this post. It means the world to me, honestly. I couldn't thank you more.
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vintunnavaa · 3 years
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Light and Cold
Chapter 10 - Friends Again? Maybe?
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“What friends had I on, earth? "
 Villette
Sometimes, Eloise wondered why she bothered with her unruly hair. No amount of teasing or combing managed to quell them, and if she did manage to force them into a bun, they sprang up like tiny corkscrews by the end of the day. 
‘Ellie, aren’t you late for school?’ Bianca asked as she rubbed her own silky tresses dry. 
‘I am. But my hair...’ She broke off when the comb snagged at a stubborn knot. 
‘It looks nice like this. Why don’t you leave it open?’ Bianca consoled as she touched her sister's hair. 
‘Because it’s a hassle.’ She said, bunching her hair in a haphazard bun. 
‘Huh.’ There was a hidden meaning in short exhale of breath, and Eloise glowered at her sister. ‘What?’
‘Nothing. You’re late.’ 
A sigh of distress left her mouth, and she let her hair fall in its chaotic mess. ‘Guess I’ll have to settle with this then.’
‘It’s not that bad. Just a little...’
‘Bad. I know.’ She muttered as she picked up her bag, and reached for the door. 
‘Have a nice day.’ Bianca called from behind. 
‘You too.’
She was finally leaving for school when her gaze fell on Violet, serenely sitting on the sofa and tending to her stitching.
‘Did you get a letter from Dad?’ She asked, bouncing on her heels. 
‘I didn’t. Just like yesterday.’ She replied with forced patience. 
‘Aren’t you worried?’ There was a hint of reproach in her question, but Violet didn't lose her genteel behaviour. 
‘He is his own man. My worrying won’t turn him around.’
‘But, he could be-’
‘He’s fine, Ellie.' She stressed, and added before Eloise could question her further, 'Did you check the scuttle? I think we’ve run out of coal.’
‘I’ll get it after school.’ 
‘Do you have money?’
‘I do.’ She muttered, wondering, not for the first time about where the money from Violet's stitching went. 
‘At least one good thing came out of your father’s going away.’
Sudden tears pricked at the back of Eloise's eyes, and she turned away from the former seamstress who had been lifted from poverty by her 'debt-ridden' father. 
‘Yeah.’
***
Eloise 14, Tommy 18
‘Dad!’
‘Yeah?’ David asked without looking up from the paper in his hand. 
‘Tommy isn’t talking to me.’ She whined as she sat down next to him on the ottoman. 
‘Why?’ He asked distractedly, still busy reading the party manifesto.
After years of working in London and earning himself a small fortune, he had returned to Birmingham in hopes of giving back to the city which had raised him. But soon, he found his staunch capitalist stance weaken under the terrible conditions his people lived in. They needed something more than factories and industries and electricity; something which would change the fucked-up power structure of making the rich richer and the poor poorer. With that in mind, he and a few like-minded men had joined the Communist party. Up until now, there had been little success, but he knew they would soon pick up the pace. They had too, or they would collapse under the mounting expenses. 
‘Ask him.’ His daughter pointed an accusatory finger at Thomas, and David's eyes lit up. The party needed boys like Tommy, boys who believed in justice and fairness and were willing to work for it. It was a good thing he wanted Tommy to join the party, or he wouldn't be so open to the idea of his daughter spending every passing second with the young Blinder. 
‘Mr Beckett.’ Tommy nodded and sat down on the chair in front of him. There was a muted arrogance in Tommy, as if he didn't need a high rank or money to assert his competence. He was very much content in what he was, but wouldn't hold back from helping those who weren't.  
‘Thomas, is Eloise troubling you?’ He asked through his gold-rimmed glasses and set the manifesto down. He was pleased to find Tommy's eyes linger on it for a moment too long. 
‘No!’ Eloise yelled before Tommy could say anything. Not that he would say anything against her. In the six years of properly knowing him, she had realised that Tommy was someone who never turned his back on his friends. Even if it meant getting in trouble himself. 
‘I asked him, young lady.’
There was a warning in his polite words, and Eloise stomped her foot in anger. 
‘You always take his side.’
‘Now, tell me what happened.’ He asked Tommy, both of them ignoring Eloise's outburst. 
‘Nothing.’ Tommy shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. 
‘Ellie pushed him in the cut!’ The seven-year old Bianca announced with a cackle as she made her way towards her father's lap.  
‘I didn’t push him! We were playing and his foot slipped.’ Eloise clarified, but her father had already reached his conclusions. 
‘Why did you push him, Eloise?’ He asked, gently patting Bianca's head. 
She looked at Tommy in mutiny, ordering him to help her out but he was too interested in her Dad's paperweight. 
‘Eloise?’ David prodded. 
‘He made fun of my hair. And told me there was a bee stuck inside it.' She said with forced restrain, remembering how she had jumped around the cut with a 'bee' in her hair. 
‘I don’t remember.’ Tommy said blankly. 
‘Liar!’
‘Eloise.’ David warned his daughter again. 
‘I hate you, Dad. And you too.’ She threw in Tommy's direction before leaving the house, infuriated by the rumble of laughter that followed in her wake. 
She didn't know what happened after she left, but for the first time, Tommy didn't come after her. 
***
Eloise's blurry-eyed journey to school came to a halt when a person she didn't want to see for ever came in her way. 
‘Tommy.’ She greeted in half-surprise, half-anger. 
He kept looking at her for a long moment before asking disinterestedly, ‘Were you crying?’ 
She inhaled deeply before sidestepping, both him and his question. ‘It’s been good seeing you, but-’
He gripped the handle of her cycle to a stop and said, ‘Wait for a moment.’
‘What?’ She demanded. 
He began with his patent answer to anyone who thought he had shopped Freddie; anyone who mattered that is. ‘I know you don’t believe me-’ 
‘And you have no reason to care about what I believe or not.’ She said plainly, already dreading the conversation. While she knew Tommy had committed the biggest sin of betrayal, she was a little saddened by the amount of hate he was getting. It was almost like being thrown into the past, where Tommy was the one who got the brunt of his father's ire and beatings. 
‘I need a favour from you.’
‘Is it about Ada?’ She asked, dismissing his talking round the topic. 
‘Yes, it is.’ He said slowly with a nod. 
‘Why did you do that, Tommy?’
There was no accusation in her words, just tired resentment, as if she didn't expect more from him. Strangely, it made him feel worse.
‘I didn’t' was his automatic answer. He waited for her to call him a liar, but was surprised to find her mulling over his words. Using that moment as his window, he said coolly, ‘She is alone with the baby, and she isn’t speaking to us. If you could...’
‘I already went there yesterday.’ She interrupted him, silently telling him she didn't need to be told.  
‘What did she say?’ He asked impatiently. 
‘She refused to let me in.' She said shortly, and added before he could ask more, 'But she agreed after I called you a swindler and a ruthless bastard who deserves to have his eyes gnawed out by eagles.’ She dead-panned. He winced.
‘The baby's always crying, she isn’t eating, but Ada would rather live in that basement than talk to you.’
He shook his head a little, ‘It wasn’t me.’
‘I don’t care.' She said apathetically. 'But instead of proving yourself right, try to do something about it.’ There was a hint of goading in her words, and he looked at her in question. 
‘What do you mean?’
‘You know people, Tommy. Why can’t you get Freddie out?’
He scoffed, ‘I am not the fucking police, Eloise.’
She clenched her teeth in irritation. ‘Can’t you do this for your best mate? He is the reason why you’re alive.’
There was an uncomfortable pause before Eloise continued, ‘Look, I know you don’t see eye to eye with Freddie on lots of things. But at one point, you stood together for the cause.’
She didn't know why she said that, and regretted it immediately when she saw a cynical smile curve on his lips. 
‘The good old cause, eh? What ‘good’ came out of it, Eloise?’ He asked mockingly, undoubtedly suggesting towards her father's condition. Twice in one day she had been made cognizant of his helpless status, but she refused to give Tommy the satisfaction of seeing her cry in the streets. 
Against the lump in her throat, she said, ‘He is your family. And the Tommy I know would never turn his back on the people he cares about.’
She began to get on her pedal cycle, but he stopped her again with his demand, ‘Where are you going?’
‘School.’ She told him curtly. 
‘Can you take the day off?’ He asked her, but all she heard was an instruction. 
‘No.’ She bit out. For someone who had called her a whore on a regular basis, kissed her without her permission on two occasions, and didn't miss a single opportunity to make fun of her, he was being quite friendly today.
‘I need your help with something.’
She narrowed her eyes at him, all the while wondering what could she possibly help him with. When they were kids, he would ask her to help with the horses. Sometimes, he took her to the betting shop and showed her the ropes, an expert at everything when he was a kid himself. But now, there seemed no common ground of discussion between a school-teacher and a bookmaker. 
‘Why don’t you ask Grace?’ She said snidely, hating the hint of envy in her words. 
‘I’ll give you two pounds.’
‘Fuck off.’ 
‘Eloise.’ He warned.
'What can I help you with, Mr Shelby?' She asked with forced politeness. 
He didn't answer for a moment, looking at her with his hands inside his pockets, as if checking her credibilty. 'Keep a check on Ada.' He said at last. 
A little deflated by the paltry task, she muttered, 'You don't have to tell me that. I was planning to visit her after school.'
'Thank you.' 
'It's nothing.' She said in the same disappointed tone, all the while chastising herself for thinking he wanted to be friends again. 
What did you expect, Eloise? That he would tell you everything like before? 
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animeraider · 3 years
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I get a lot of flack from anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and other fuckwits about my words on the COVID-19 Pandemic and in particular the response to it in the US. I pull no punches about it, I believe firmly that the previous administration and ANYONE who enables them and their policies are complicit in the deaths of all of these people. They belong in prison.
I'm not going to fucking apologize for believing that. The fault for all of this belongs directly in the laps of the Republican Party. If you believe otherwise, you're WRONG. I can bring the receipts.
I've been pretty isolated during all of this. I went into lockdown on March 11, 2020 and I'm technically still there. I now work from home, and even though I've been fully vaccinated for two months now I still go out masked. I may never eat at a buffet again. Sorry Sizzler, but I've learned how to make your cheese bread.
I ripped a tendon in my left knee in May of 2020. I had to go to the hospital, but I was out in a few hours with crutches. I would joke with people that I'm now out of hinged joints to break.
But in July my cough returned with an attitude, and I picked up an infection. Not Covid, but it all made me pretty sick. So that you understand, I have what's called "Chronic Cough Syndrome". I've had it since I was 8. No one knows the cause or the cure. Believe me, we've looked. I just start coughing, and after a few months, I stop. It can be treated but I just have to live with it until someone comes up with something we haven't tried before.
Doctors have gotten into fistfights over whether or not I have Asthma. I don't, but sometimes Asthma medications work for a bit. To be honest, I've had this for so long that sometimes I don't even notice when I cough. It's just part of the wonder of being me.
I took the Pandemic seriously. I stayed home, I socially distanced, I got real familiar with teams, bluejeans, and zoom. I did a LOT of cooking. Started making bread. Watched the country fall apart at the seams and commented on it from my own little pocket of safety. I contributed a new song to a fund-raising effort for nurses. I did my part to stay safe, but my cough had other ideas.
Anyway, this time my coughing got pretty severe and I finally agreed to go to the hospital. As stated above, turns out I had picked up an infection. Combine that with my cough and I showed all of the symptoms of a severe case of COVID-19.
I'd been careful, but the hospital staff were all very cross with me. If I had COVID, I just exposed all of them, and the main nurse who tended to me had already been quarantined that same month for a different exposure. When the test came back negative the tension in the emergency ward calmed down immensely and everyone treated me kindly and professionally - I was a patient with something they knew what to do with and didn't bring plague into their house.
I spent 4 days in the hospital but the worst part, scariest part, was the wait to move from the Emergency Room to a private room. I came to the hospital in the late afternoon. I finally got my bed nearly 12 hours later, a good 8 hours after my test for COVID had come back negative.
I needed to be hospitalized, and needed a bed, and there weren't any. I had to wait for someone to either be discharged or to die.
I got my bed at 4 in the morning. Someone had died. Musical chairs was played and I was finally moved out of the Emergency Room.
It's really hard to understand how sobering that is without experiencing it. Many years ago, before we even knew about AIDS, I had the honor of donating blood and seeing it get used in a surgery mere minutes later. I became a regular blood donor at that moment - I felt so happy and alive that my blood had been used to save a life mere minutes after I had donated it (I'm O Negative) that I became a life-long believer. I donated every time I was eligible from that moment forward until a blood infection disqualified me from ever donating again 20 years later.
This was just the opposite. The guy with a cough and a treatable infection had to wait for someone on a ventilator to stop breathing. Someone with COVID died so that I could get a bed. They never knew this had happened, and I never learned who they were. Some random person died so that I could get better.
Try sleeping after that realization hits you. I couldn't. I barely slept the entire time I was there.
Despite the fact that I wasn't in the "COVID Ward" I got to see the effects first-hand. The newly disinfected bed and room I had was previously occupied by someone moved up to the Covid Ward. They in turn had moved up there after a ventilator was taken away from a patient who died. Staff rotated through different wards on different shifts. My first nurse was rotated into the Covid Ward. My next day nurse had just rotated out. I have never in my life seen a group of people look so haunted by their day to day lives.
A well-liked member of their staff was on a ventilator. So was a priest who worked in the hospital. I had never seen in person a "Code Blue". There were six of them my first day. There is also a "Code Black". It's much worse.
My wife and daughters weren't allowed to visit me. When your daily soundtrack is nothing but medical staff talking about the good and the bad, terrible television and the moaning/screaming of your new neighbors getting that visit from family is a huge stress relief. It wasn't available this time. I didn't see my family again until I was discharged. There was no outside world.
I admit that being in hospital during all of this, even though I myself didn't have COVID, shook me. When you're in hospital mostly what you deal with is yourself and your own condition, and getting the hell out of there as soon as you can. This time I was not only aware of the people around me, their conditions, their suffering and their recoveries, but I was also aware that a whole section of the building was dedicated to people who were going to die, and that the people who were treating me were also treating them.
This was as close as I got to the Pandemic. When I got home I fucking STAYED THERE. I went to the grocery store and the pharmacy and that was it. That was life for MONTHS.
Our grocery store was fantastic - they enforced social distancing and masks with gusto. They cleaned EVERYTHING. It had been a 24 hour store but converted to shorter hours so that the down time could be spent cleaning. Aisles were made one-way.
The first time I saw someone in the parking lot without a mask I have to admit that I lost it. I screamed at them (a white couple about my age), "PUT YOUR FUCKING MASKS ON YOU FUCKING MORONS!" Understand, I'm a fairly large man with a deep voice and have been a professional singer for decades and have played sax even longer. I'm loud and imposing. Everyone within 50 feet turned and stared at the couple. Okay, me first then the couple.
It's possible they didn't speak English. They exchanged a few words in Russian to each other and then masked up.
I've been known to let my temper show. I try not to because I know it's there and I know it's terrible. I've worked for decades to keep it in check and I just let it all out, screaming at a couple of rando Karens 20 feet away from anyone else who hadn't put their masks on yet. I had to acknowledge that this affected me profoundly. I'm dealing with that.
I've lost friends to COVID. One of my neighbors spent almost 3 months on a ventilator and survived it. Some of my friends have lost family. It hurts. It all hurts. It has changed me.
Some of you have noticed that I've been pretty productive in 2021 in terms of music, after not releasing material for over a decade. This whole experience has changed me, changed my perspective. I was already an angry liberal but I'm far angrier and much more liberal now than I was. The album I worked on forever essentially no longer exists. The person I am now couldn't make that album. I am excising demons and allowing the new to come in and take its place.
And you know what, so far, I'm okay. I'm still here. I intend to stay. In fact, what I intend to be the first song from my next album in its own way deals with the fact that I don't understand depression - I've never experienced it.
But I have to admit that I'm grateful to have family and friends in my life who accept me as I am, who provide unconditional love and support and I hope I do for them. I have the occasional doubt that I'm as good a friend/family member as I can be. I can be an ass sometimes.
(A couple of my long-time friends have just done spit-takes. "Sometimes????")
Because the scariest thing about what we've all been through - what I've been through - is that we have changed so much that I'm not sure that the people who know me best would be my friends if they met me as the person I am now. I am changed.
And the odds are pretty good that you have too. This is something we're all going to need to deal with, or we're lost.
Please, don't be lost.
And because it still needs doing, because the pandemic is still going strong as ever among the anti-vaxxers, the science deniers and the Republicans, please support our nurses. Here's the album I'm on that is still to this day, long after falling off the charts, raising money for them:
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ma-gic-gay · 3 years
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Settling into any form of a routine that involves a change scares him. One that involves a change in the one stable thing in his life, him and Carly, that downright terrifies him. Forget about the fact that half the town knows they hooked up, now he's got... Feelings coming up that involve her. Feelings that he'd buried fifty feet into the ground and covered in cement.
At least, he'd thought he did.
Clearly, they've resurfaced now. He can't help but laugh to himself at that, the knowledge that of course Hurricane Carly lands without warning, yet again. Changing everything and not meaning to whatsoever. Destroying every defense he builds in between landfall and wrecking the stability he manages to get.
In an attempt to ward off these feelings that could complicate everything, he thinks of times she's hurt him. Probably not the best defensive strategy, but he gives not a damn. Whatever works.
Nothing really works until he remembers the time she broke his heart. The last time he'd loved her that way, had any feelings of romantic love towards her. She'd slept with his best friend, who'd manipulated her into thinking he was in love with Elizabeth Webber.
It destroyed him, the betrayal of not only Carly but Sonny's role in it. The fact his supposed best friend had done that to him, knowing how he felt about her and knowing it would hurt him. Half the time, Jason wasn't sure how he'd managed to stay in town so long after it happened, even for Michael's sake. The bullet wound he'd gotten the same night hadn't managed to hurt him as much as seeing her come down the stairs of Sonny's penthouse in his t-shirt, smelling of his cologne.
And the bullet had a good chance of killing him.
So he got on his motorcycle and skipped town, numbing the pain by getting adrenaline highs. And it worked, he was able to process everything and fall out of love with her as she fell in love with Sonny.
Finding out that she was pregnant with Sonny's kid stopped whatever healing he'd done for a solid few days as he allowed himself to go back to drowning the pain in whatever, or whoever, he could find. It was a terrible, self destructive thing, but he'd become like that by then, so it didn't matter anymore.
Getting back to Port Charles had been one of the most difficult things for him to ever do in his life. It took months for him to be over her enough to dare step foot within the limits of the city.
But he did, he was able to get over her. He'd attempted to build up walls around her, but as always, she tore those down. They were never in love again, or even close to it. Aside from a single "the world is ending" kiss, they'd been friends. Best friends. The type who defend each other when everyone else hated them and were, without question, always there for each other.
They trusted each other with their lives, still do, after a certain point. He'd even stopped futilely trying to build up defenses against her and it reached a point they always dropped whenever they were talking. She had a way of breaking down all his walls without any energy that no one else he'd ever known did.
Still, thinking about this as she's answering a text hasn't gotten him to lose the feelings or shove them down again. Dammit, he was very much hoping he could.
This is a bad sign.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Carly asks, noticing he's lost in thought.
"Nothing interesting," he responds. "Just business stuff."
"You're lying," she presses. "Did I miss something?"
"No, I'm just not thinking of anything important." Jason counters.
"I know when you're lying to me, Jason, so just tell me the truth."
"I'm just thinking about this whole kidnapping thing," he says, which isn't a lie; he had been thinking about it as well.
"And?"
He shakes his head at that, a small smile playing on his lips at how easily she can read him. "And I'm thinking about Sonny." That's the truth, but he's thinking more of the hurt Sonny caused than the man himself. Still, thinking about the man.
She nods before letting out a loud sigh. "I've got to get out of this room. Can we go on a walk around this boring hospital?"
"You wanna walk by yourself? Alright, let's see that," he quips.
"If I feel like I'm falling, I'll just have you catch me," she counters, smiling as she shifts under the covers to get out of the bed. "After all, you always do."
"I still think this is a terrible idea."
"Just go along with it. I've had worse," Carly orders, standing up and wincing.
"You're in pain."
"I don't care, I'm going to get out of this room."
"Do you want a wheelchair? Or a walker?" Jason offers, knowing better than to ask her to stay in the room.
"I will do this myself, with your help," she declares. "So get out of the chair and help me do a lap around this hospital floor."
Sighing, he stands up and follows her lead. "See? This isn't so bad, is it?" Carly beams at him through her pain. It's written all over her face, but as usual, she expects it to be covered with a smile.
"Not for me, but you're going to hurt yourself, Carly," he counters. "Please, let me get you a walker."
"No," she says stubbornly, "I'm doing this myself."
"Excuse me, Amy, can I please get a walker for my friend here?" Jason asks the nurse, who agrees peppily, despite Carly's protests.
"Jason, I'm fine. I don't need a walker."
"Then humor me and use one."
"I'm not doing this."
"You don't have a choice. Unless, of course, you'd like a wheelchair," he responds with a knowing smirk.
"I'm only doing this for you," she sighs, giving in as Amy hands her the walker. "This is so embarrassing, god."
"It's taking care of yourself, it's not embarrassing."
"Maybe everyone will be too caught up gossipping about us to realize I'm using one of these things," the blonde grimaces, though she's walking better with the assistance of the walker. "Little Lizzie might've done something good with her big mouth, for once."
Rolling his eyes, he says, "You know, most people would be enjoying their oppirtunity to relax."
"Have you ever considered me a regular person?" Carly asks, a glint of defiance and pride in her eyes. "Seriously. Ever since we met at Jake's, have you ever thought that I'm typical?"
"That night at Jake's, I thought you looked good. That's pretty much all I thought when it came to you that night," he answers. "But if you're asking if I consider you normal now, no. I consider you Carly."
"I can't tell if that's an insult or a compliment."
"Then you get to pick which it is."
"You know, sometimes your refusal to answer my questions is a pain in the ass," she says, wincing in pain yet again.
"And sometimes your stubbornness is a pain in mine. Like right now, when you're clearly in pain and pretending not to be," Jason tells her as they round the corner to the nurse's station.
"I'm not in pain," she protests. "I'm just sore. Really sore."
"Do you want a wheelchair?"
"I can walk, Jason."
"And it hurts when you do. Come on, you don't want to be all hopped up on painkillers when Wiley comes to visit later," he counters.
"When you put it like that-"
"Hey Willow, can I exchange her walker for a wheelchair?" Jason asks when they near the brunette at work.
"Of course," she smiles, finding one and bringing it out.
"Thank you."
"They pay me the big bucks to do this, no thanks necessary," Willow smiles again as Carly sits, defeated, in the wheelchair and allows Jason to push her.
"This is worse than the walker," she complains. "At least then I was walking on my own. Now I've got to be carted around by you. Which, don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the VIP treatment, but I also don't want to be here, in a hospital. And I want to be at court tomorrow."
"We'll talk to the doctors and see if they say you can go tomorrow," he compromises. "But they might say you've got to be in a wheelchair when you go."
Groaning as they reach her room, she says, "I guess I could live with that. It'd probably make the judge give Cyrus a longer sentence, seeing me in the wheelchair, too. He could get life in solitary!"
"I'll pull some strings and he'll end up in solitary no matter what," Jason agrees as she gets out of the wheelchair and into the bed yet again. "But I think you need to rest before Wiley comes, or one of the doctors, or a lawyer, or someone else who needs your attention."
"If this is your way of saying I'm annoying-"
"It's not, but I want you to be healed."
"I'm healing!"
"You barely made it ten feet without wincing, Carly. That's not healed, that's in pain," he reminds her.
"Which is a part of healing."
Sighing, he says, "I want you to heal fully. Then you can go back to running the world. The best way for you to heal is to sleep and rest up while you can."
"Fine. But I'm doing this for you."
"I know."
To be continued after school probably lol I hate America
@ryleighjosephine
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