#tess you're the fuckin best

[nexusnyx]

Me & Mr. Miller

au!Joel Miller x f!Reader [5.2k] summary: You and Joel had a deal to stay away from each other. The only obstacle is—neither one of you wants to do that. He might be the father of one of your closest friends and someone a few (many) years older than you, but... who cared. Not you. Not him. The deal wasn't going as planned. 📝 in this scenario the outbreak never happened! joel miller is doing just fine! If you enjoy it, reblogs and comments make all the difference. warnings⚠️ mature content—explicit depictions of sex, so minors dni. | 🏷️ age gap, misunderstanding, secret relationship, pining, strangers to lovers. Oral (f receiving), penetration (p in v), unprotected sex, dirty talking, love-making.

masterlist |

ㅤㅤㅤㅤTexas, Winter of 2023.

"Aw, shit, Joel. Fuck," Tess turned to him with her face twisted into a weird, panicked smile, and that's exactly when Joel realized he'd gone and fucked up again somehow. "You set me up. You set me up!"

"What?!"

"We could've at least told me you were inviting me to Sarah's birthday to be eaten fuckin' alive—is she still looking at me? Goddamn," the panic left for a second, replaced with a knowing smirk that he was unfortunately too familiar with. "She's got really nice eyes, I'll tell you that much. Were you gonna tell me I came here to make your girlfriend jealous? And really—is she still looking? 'Cause those are very intimidating eyes, and I'm gonna need to prepare myself."

There was no preparing to look into your eyes.

Joel would know.

He was done for the minute he laid eyes on you. The way you looked at him.

His hands started to sweat, and his mouth ran dry. He had to look. Gravity couldn't keep him from it.

"You know... a lot makes sense now," Tess starts.

"Don't."

Tess chuckles, hiding it in her drink. "Jeez—did you win her by blabbering her ears out? 'Cause I only got a single look into Miss Daggers for Eyes, but she looks—"

"Jesus Christ, I'm gonna regret having brought you, won't I?" Joel interrupts because he can't turn around as sharply as he'd like, and he can feel it already. Your eyes on him.

Tess stops hiding her laughter, "Oh, for sure. And only because I'm gonna make it very hard for you because you didn't tell me. Because you think that not talking about it makes things just... go away," she wiggles her fingers like dandelions in the sky, and Joel loves his best friend, but she can be a bit of a dick.

"I was gonna tell you," he sighs, fidgeting inside the stupid blazer; sipping his bourbon to ease the jitteriness inside his skin already proved to be a terrible fucking idea when in your presence. "I was—" and where are you? There are a lot of people behind Tess' shoulders and Joel could spot you in a football crowd.

"Jesus." Tess enunciates every letter. "Joel, find her so you can have your focus back."

"Just for the record, she isn't my girlfriend," he states.

Tess scoffs, and it says more than words could.

"She isn't," he presses.

"I believe you," says Tess. "But now I also know I wasn't crazy when I said you were happier last year after going to New York. You were. And Miss Daggers for Eyes—"

"She has a name."

"—is the reason. Does she? Does she have a name, Joel? Her parents are so kind for giving her one," Tess sasses. "I would know her name if you hadn't hidden her from me."

"I didn't hide anybody, there was nobody to hide. Also, can you shut up? You're louder than my thoughts."

The next laugh comes accompanied by a slap on the shoulder, and Tess walking away, but not before whispering in his ear. "Joel, buddy, I wholeheartedly believe you had the best intentions with bringing me here, but here's a tip you didn't ask for: Not one of you is as over whatever the hell happened as you may think. Talk to her."

Talk to her.

As if it was that simple.

As if there wasn't a deal.

Joel needs to find you, but first, he needs another drink.

He gulps down his glass and tries to smile as the guests pass him by. None of them seem to notice his imminent heart attack. None of them see through his carefully curated nonchalance, and he's happy about that.

There's already a person present who can see through him like glass, and he can barely deal with that one.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤNYC, Spring of 2022.

You stood no chance against him.

The first time you saw him, Joel looked like a Wes Anderson visual.

Pink suit, grey strands unabashedly mixed in his soft, shiny black hair, and a shy smile to put any of the other men present to shame.

You were drawn like a moth to a flame.

He looked quite serious without that beautiful smile on—he looked like someone who would, in fact, never wear a pink suit, so you walked over to him and slid right next to his spot at the bar. "That's a bold outfit choice," were your first words. You smiled when his eyes landed on you, so wide and filled with surprise; warm, and stunning like a hot summer day. "But it suits you."

Joel looked stunned for a moment.

He blinked, sipped his bourbon glass and his eyes did a not-subtle-at-all up and down. Then, he put down his glass and the corner of his mouth twitched with the idea of a smile. "I lost a bet," he answered. You recognized the southern accent immediately. "Believe it or not."

"Oh, I believe you," you chuckled.

"It suits me, though?" he asked, opening his arms to the sides.

You nodded. "It does," your peripheral vision caught Bruna approaching behind the bar, and you smiled at her. "Hi, babe. Can I get a caipirinha, please?"

"Hey, girl," she smiled at you and used all of her subtlety to glance at Joel observing the exchange. "Sure thing. Vodka, sake, or cachaça?"

"Bruna, you know there's only one way to do a proper caipirinha," you rolled your eyes.

Bruna smiled. "Cachaça it is, then. Lemon, or something else?"

"Hm, how about an unexpected fruit? Surprise me."

"You got it. Anything else?" she asked.

"Nope, just remember to drink some water. You always work too hard," you winked at her.

Bruna left to make your drink with a blinding smile on her face, and you turned around to find Joel staring. He leaned on the counter with his arm supported on it, and as soon as you looked at him he asked, "Where d'you two know each other from?"

You pointed at the huge banners of NYU standing behind you. "She goes there — I go there."

"You go to NYU?"

"I do," you answered. "Getting my phD, actually," your smile always came out at that.

Joel's face never hides his surprise, but the smile was unexpected and very welcome. "Wow. Congratulations."

"Thank you. I imagine you're here because of the Spring exhibition?" you looked around at the gallery where everyone around looked as posh as you and he did, save for the curious New Yorker just enjoying their walk.

"I am. My daughter has a paper on display on the third floor," he replied.

"Politics and Law area?"

"That's her," he confirmed.

"I have a few close friends in the department," you smiled. "It was my first stop."

"Are you here showin' something too?"

"I'm actually here as one of 'somethings' to show?" No matter how long in the business, talking about being the art itself was always surreal. Especially in front of otherwordly handsome and charming men. Where was Bruna with your drink when you needed her? "My roommate's exhibition won the main exhibit, and we — dancers — are her tool. Her paint."

"You're part of the main exhibit?" He looked every bit impressed, and you nodded, feeling giddy at the prospect. "Double wow. Wait—shouldn't you be backstage, then?"

"Oh, no, gods, no. This whole thing stays here all afternoon, the final piece is only at sunrise—6pm, kinda?"

"Okay. And do I get to know your name before you run off to become art or d'you plan on dropping a crystal shoe so I can roam around later tryin' to find out?"

That had been the first time he made you laugh.

Truly laugh; not a few breaths out of your nose or an easy chuckle—Joel was silly, and he looked like modern-day Adonis in the stupid pink suit that he only wore because of a goddamn bet, and you had no chance.

"I'm Joel," he extended his hand.

That had been the doom of it all—no last names. Only smiles.

You shook his hand and offered your name back, only for him to repeat it out loud.

Test it on his tongue.

You were always doomed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤTexas, Winter of 2023.

Jealousy looked godly on you.

Joel hated himself for even thinking it, but he hated himself a lot this evening.

He had hurt you, for starters.

The only thing he set himself not to do, and he'd done it.

More than a year has passed since the fateful day you stepped, yet better—waltzed into his field of vision, and had he known a day of peace ever since?

The day he met you still played on his head like a broken record stuck inside a player:

Saying goodbye to Sarah in front of the gallery, turning around the corner, and seeing you with smoke blowing in front of your face, smiling at the sight of him. You in your green dress. The happiness written all over you, the obvious and earnest glee of seeing that Joel was still around.

Walking with you all around New York, feeling three times less intimidated by the imposing streets with you by his side. The smell of your apartment, the street food you two got on the way, the conversation that flowed as easy as a river stream.

Joel had the imprint of your shining personality burning behind his eyelids. The taste of strawberry from your caipirinha permanently inked on his tongue.

He stood no chance against your eyes—as much as she teased, Tess was right.

Miss Daggers for Eyes.

The way you looked at him at said, "You gotta stop looking at me like that, Joel. I'm starting to think you're not paying attention to what I'm saying," even though you already knew that to be true. Since the moment the strap of your blouse fell from your shoulders and you kept on talking, Joel was fish in a net.

He had the taste of your cunt and the smell of being buried between your thighs waking him up late at night for the next months to come.

The way you rode his face just as he asked you to—no mercy, no shame, only that, only your desires and the alcohol and the weed and the conversation and everything—everything, everything, everything.

Joel took it all out like a starved, greedy man, and you took it back, and neither of you slept until the sun was shining again in the sky.

The next couple of months were filled with texts since Texas demanded him back home and you were already home.

It could've been just friendship.

It was supposed to be simple.

So what if you two called each other and got off while on the phone like a couple of young adults who can't bear to be away from each other? So what if Joel texted you and had to endure Tess and other co-workers smiling at him and wondering, "what the hell's got Joel Damn Miller in a good mood, huh?"

So what if Joel learned more about you than he could admit to himself that he even wanted to know? Even if he was the one asking?

It didn't matter, because it wasn't simple.

Because when you called and said, "Your name is Joel Miller?" he realized why Sarah said he was such a 'distant concept'. No social media meant nobody to pry, but it also meant misunderstandings.

It also meant having to answer you with apprehension, because your tone had never been that off. "It is. Why are you sayin' it like I'm on a list or somethin'?"

"Joel." His stomach fell at his name alone. "You're Sarah's dad. Fuck. Of course you are—"

"Wait, you know Sarah?"

"Yes, I know Sarah. I'm friends with Sarah, or I was before—oh god, she's gonna kill me. She is, isn't she?"

He had assisted you through your panic even though he felt the same.

He walked outside his office, talked you through your next breaths, and guaranteed you there was no reason to panic. "That's it, it's ok, hun'—," he stopped, cursed mentally, and rectified his mistake with his name. You were not his hun, and Joel had been lost on cloud nine without realizing you could've never been. "Just breathe. She doesn't know. She won't know. You two are fine."

That had been it, or so he thought.

Joel stared a lot at the last message he received from you. Thought about sending something else. Continuing the conversation.

Instead, he let the silence make the dust settle.

It had been a haze.

A dream, or a glitch in the matrix—it wouldn't be happening again, and no matter how much he looked at the text you sent weeks prior — i really like talking to you, Joel — nothing would change.

Except it did.

Except — the silence amounted to nothing.

One look at you across the street and Joel was dragged back in.

That Summer when Sarah invited him back, Joel had almost said no, but he remained as able to deny her anything as when she was a kid. The weekend went perfectly, and Joel did his best to not think of you as he was there, but all it took was a few words on a screen:

ㅤㅤㅤㅤSaw Sarah's IG stories. You loaok so good when you smile , JoelㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤLove how the sweater looks on yoyu

Drunk baby. Honey.

The second time there was no deal on the table yet, but there was you.

Joel appeared at your apartment door at twenty past two in the morning and only left a couple of hours before his plane left.

You two pretended your apartment was a bubble.

It worked.

Joel had missed you. It sounded silly when he thought it early in the morning before leaving for work—when everyday routine served as bitter medicine it was enough to convince himself it was all just wishful thinking.

With you in the same room as him, lying was harder.

There was no 'wishful' part on how well you two worked.

There was a divine inspiration in the way you made him feel like something new.

Joel felt warm, wanted, devilishly handsome under your gaze. Your careful touch.

"You're so fucking handsome," you repeated to him.

He never thought about his looks, but he couldn't stop himself from enjoying the truth in your words. How much you believed them. "Glad you think so."

"Don't snicker at me like that, Mr. Joel—"

"Snicker? I ain't snickerin', I'm laughin'. You keep tracing my wrinkles like that and I'm gonna get a complex, hun."

"The drama. You're so lame! Oh my god."

"And yet, you're laughing. You know, that's the same shit my daughter says. I'm startin' to think it's true."

"It is. You're silly. But it's okay —" the tip of your fingers tracing his features felt like the first drops of rain hitting the skin. Joel shivered under your touch more times than he cared to count, and he'd only been present for it a couple of times. He'd hate to think of how much you could ruin him with enough time given. How much no other touch would suffice anymore. " — 'cause it's all part of your charm..."

Who would've thought Joel still had it?

Charm.

No amount of charm made up for the situation, though, and before you left, you asked the inevitable question. "No one can know, right?"

"No." He knew what was at stake—your friendship with his most important person. Maybe more. "It was just our last time."

"Right. We're not doing this again."

"We can stay away from each other. I like it like this," he said, pressing his face in your beard-burnt neck, inhaling your sigh and perfume. "But I know..." she can't know.

No—no one can know.

He nuzzled into you, and you nuzzled back. Dug your fingers in the fabric of his shirt. "We can still... talk, can't we?" you asked.

Joel's chest clutched and he held you a little tighter. None of you were at fault for the circumstances, so you both deserved some more stolen time. "We'll talk." He kissed under your ear. "We'll stay away from each other. Talk. Friends can talk. We just—we don't do this anymore. And, no one can know it happened."

"Okay." You sounded muffled against his chest, and Joel thought about how he'd miss touching your hair like this. "I'll just — take a while. To be able to look at you and not —" you stopped abruptly, and pulled away to look up at him and show him not what.

Not look at him with eyes that demanded a kiss.

Without pulling him in by the fire in your eyes.

That had been then — July gave him you again. You for the last time.

The next time Joel saw you after that had been a few weeks ago. Sarah invited you to a party during the holidays, and third time was the charm.

You two talked like good, old friends.

The longing in his chest was ridiculous, the whole entire time.

Now—

jealousy looks good on you.

Sarah's birthday was big enough for Joel to have his eyes on you without you even realizing it. From his bedroom porch, Joel saw you walking by the pool between the guests with that set to your jaw. Another friend of Sarah's stopped you and started a conversation, but the look refused to leave your face.

The problem was—there was nothing Joel could do.

If he pulled you aside to clarify that Tess was only a friend, a work friend who Sarah has called 'Aunty Tess' since she was fourteen, he would be wrong.

Rubbing salt on the wound.

What did it matter what Tess was?

You two had a deal.

Gods, Joel was getting too old for this—too old to watch things from a distance, to see the sadness on the pout of your lips and crave to run and kiss it away, to realize when the lights of the party hit your face in the right angles that your eyes are shining and fuck—

He gets back downstairs and leaves the glass somewhere along the way.

No more bourbon for him.

Joel hears his name called a few times. Allows himself to be distracted by conversation here and there. He's good at lying to himself—he's done it often enough by now. Joel keeps himself trimmed from the deep wants and needs that grow like weeds through his bones, even if he isn't sure why.

Something so rich like you — of course it wasn't for him.

What would he do?

You're Sarah's dad. Fuck.

Sarah's father — he clapped the louder, smiled the brighter, and when the candles were blown and she handed him the first piece of cake, Joel wondered if he should feel guilty for going after someone who's close with daughter of all people.

All he could feel was sadness as he saw you disappearing in the crowd after talking to Sarah in hushed tones inside a hug.

Joel needed to find Tess.

He should leave — his house would be the roof for a lot of people tonight and he needed to talk, maybe—Joel started laughing as soon as the thought came to him.

That's how much you affected him.

He leaves in direction of the kitchen, guarded by the commotion around the cake.

Joel had trouble finding people he liked talking to. You spoke with him for three hours as if time meant nothing, and now it got him wanting to talk about you to his friends, spilling all the bits of stolen moments here and there.

The texts he's read so many times he has memorized.

He needs to get those things off his chest if he wants to stop clinging to them— they've been inside his close fists since Joel got his hands on them — on you — and he hasn't let go ever since.

"Dad?"

He places the bottle down on the fridge shelf, happy he was caught before and not during the act. He pops his head out, and Sarah's standing on the door of the kitchen with a look.

"What?"

"I promised myself I was gonna stay out of this tonight, but — is there a reason? Any solid reason why you two decided to stay away from each other since you're both so... clearly happy about that?" she finishes, eyeing the fridge as if her view is made of x-ray, and the bottle weighs twice more in his hands.

Then—"Wait." Joel's brain freezes. "You knew?"

Sarah's eyes widen, and her mouth falls open. "Oh. My god." She blinks once, then covers a burst of laughter with both hands. "Dad. You and she are so not subtle—I thought you knew that I knew — oh my god. It's not because of me, is it? I mean—don't get me wrong, if you two as much as flirt in front of me at first I'm gonna hose both of you like, on the spot, but—I'm ok with it. Obviously. You two are two grown adults, and dad, don't take this the wrong way, but last year was the most I've seen you smile in a long, long time."

Joel needed a few minutes to take all of it in.

Was it just because of Sarah?

No one can know, you'd said. What if you were ashamed of him, too? Of the age difference, and —

"The same goes for her, obviously." Sarah's words pulled him out from underwater. "I've known her for a couple of years, but... last year was definitely happier than the other one."

He smiled. "You're the best, did you know that?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Duh."

"Tell Tess I left?"

"Sure." Sarah's smile spread. "She just left. D'you want me to text you where she's staying?"

Joel had already gifted her, but that didn't stop him from walking over to kiss her cheek and smile proudly. "I'll buy another gift."

"You better."

Joel drove all the way hoping to be right.

Hoping it hadn't all been just a fluke — the moment, a chase, a thrill.

He breathed a deep inhale before knocking on your hotel door.

It took a second before he heard your footsteps, and he wiped his palms on his jeans. "Uhm — I didn't ask for room service?" you sounded confused.

And like you'd been crying.

Fuck him. "I know you didn't."

It was him.

You wished you hadn't opened. He looks good — like always, but better. Hair slicked back, thick jacket to shield from the cold and the soft eyes; it's what bought you, and what traps you again.

You're speechless, but Joel helps.

"I just have somethin' to say and somethin' to ask, then I can be on my way. If you want," he adds.

"I thought we had a deal." It's almost like a plaster. A veil to cover the pink hue on your cheeks, maybe. "And how did you get up here without them calling me?"

He lifted his hands — your scarf was in them, and he tried very little to hide his amusement when he explained. "I've lived in this town my whole life. I just told Nina downstairs you forgot your scarf at the birthday party and you left pretty early tomorrow mornin'." Joel looks past your shoulders. "You're not the only one with friends. Can I come in?"

You wonder if it's possible to say no to him.

You simply take a step back, and Joel walks past you.

He feels like an omen standing there in your hotel room. The one you'd gotten because staying at his house seemed impossible.

The one you dreamt about him appearing out of nowhere, just like now.

If you had drunk more tonight, you would think maybe you're out of it.

"I'll keep it short, mostly 'cause I feel like a nerve wreck." Joel clears his throat and turns around to look at you as you close the door behind you. "She knows. Sarah — she uhm, she asked me basically why we're makin' each other miserable."

She knows.

You feel splinted from your body for a moment as the weight of the secret leaves your shoulders.

"She knows?" your whisper is more to yourself than anything else, but Joel still answers.

"Yeah. And also — that was Tess, tonight. With me at the birthday party."

He closed it at that because the rest was implied — you heard of Tess, many, many times.

When you and Joel spoke before Summer and the few times you two spent hours on the phone after long periods of silence in between, Joel told you about his friends. He told you about his work colleagues, about old college memories, about anything you asked.

He waited for you.

Patiently, as you took in the fact that your only worry didn't exist, Joel stood there a few feet across from you with his hands in his pockets, waiting.

And then, "I get if that wasn't the only reason why you said we should keep it between us. But—"

"It was." You were just... flying. Free. You breathed out, weighing a thousand pounds less. So you could have him? "Joel?"

He takes a step forward. "Yeah?"

There's little to be said when both of you move like orbits.

Your arms already know the way around his shoulders. Joel's familiar with the inches of your waist, and more than anything, you missed this, missed him.

His clever hands wrap carefully around your waist, and you abandoned every ounce of worry that this might be a dream.

"What are you smilin' at?" he asks.

Joel asks you that as he molds your bodies into one—the man is nothing but broad shoulders and back, thick arms that act like tentacles on your body that melts into his touch from the get-go.

"I had a lot of dreams like this," you confess. It feels incredible to just say what pops into your mind.

"Well, then let me remind you that real life's better," he mutters, hands already cupping your neck and cheeks.

Joel is the type fo kiss with his whole body.

You have no idea how both of you deluded yourselves into thinking any sort of deal could prevail when you two are made of this:

His hands roaming your throat, squeezing as you cling your legs around his waist and Joel takes the full weight of you on him. The back of his knees hitting the bed, his body and yours falling into a mess and tangle of limbs.

No deal was bigger than the desire you had of jumping his bones whenever he was at close proximity.

You wanted to devour him — you sucked on the fingers he offered with the same gusto your hips rolled against his lap; Joel moaned for you, and he trembled for you, and he smiled for you.

"'m gonna take my time with you — you know I like to take my time, stop grindin' that pretty pussy all up on me," he growls, and you mewl.

Joel is relentless with his touches.

Every time he took you, it felt like a possession.

Like he was carving your body out of marble to keep the curves set in stone — his palms ran through every inch of you until all your clothes were gone somewhere in the room, and he laughed at himself every time you cried out his name in a loud plea for more.

"Please — please just gimme something," you begged.

Joel smiles at you, dropping his pants to the floor. The entire lower half of his face is shining with the slick and sweat from you — keeping his head buried between your legs, your thighs stradling his shoulders and squeezing around his ears — he always started the nights like that.

"I was givin' you somethin'," he replies. Voice low and thick as honey. Just as sweet, too.

He crawls over the bed, naked, and you have to stop yourself from jumping on him until he's on his back. It'd be worse for you afterwards — you learned it the hard way. Joel would milk every orgasm out of you until you blacked out if you kept him from touching your body to his liking before you could do anything, and who were you to complain?

"Need more, Joel," you cried.

"More what?" He palms your calves, and starts smoothing his hands upwards. "Ask for it, baby."

"Whatever you want to give me, just — please."

"Ah. She learned," he chuckles, and kisses the inside of your thighs. They tremble at the feeling of his beard, and he nuzzles his face there for good measure. "I usually wanna see you ridin' my face 'till you're screaming for the heavens, but —" Joel climbs all the way up, cages your face between his forearms and lets his body lay on top of yours slowly. He doesn't give you his whole weight, but part of you wished he did. "I really just wanna be inside you right now."

"Please!"

"We'll have all night, I just—"

He stopped there, but you got where he came from.

It was different.

Knowing you would wake up and he'd still be there — it was different.

Taking him in when you knew he had more to offer and that's what he wanted to give — it made every inch Joel pushed inside feel more real.

He held both of your hands over your head, intertwining his fingers in yours. He went slow, and kept his eyes on you, and you felt less silly about the hours you cried before because you thought he wasn't yours. Because you wanted him to be.

He must sense you getting lost in the what ifs because Joel's talk changes somewhere in the middle.

His praises, always the tether grounding you to Earth while he fucks your mind straight out of it, changes in words and tone. He whispers, "I'm here, baby," in your ear, and it makes your legs hug his waist tighter. Push him inside even deeper. "Fuck — like that. Does it feel good? Is this what you wanted?"

You wanted him. "Yes — want you so bad," you wanted all of him. "All of you, Joel."

That granted you a hand of his letting go of yours only to make a fist on your hair.

It was rare for Joel to lose control, but you loved it when it happened. When he let go of everything and you could see him without anything on — no pretenses, no clothes, no reservations.

Joel started to mumble in your ear about anything, his hips losing rhythm inside of you as he made you ride out your orgasm. He talked about how good you are, how much he'd spoil you, make you his, his his —

You were. You were.

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[zomb1e-boy]

You Are My Purpose

Joel Miller x TransMasc! reader

Fluff and a tiny bit of angst.

Traveling on the road with Joel and Ellie leaves you and Joel to talk. Not something Joel's a fan of. Takes place in early episode 4. (And thank you to @whiskeybeforesunset for the suggestion!)

The blue n’ white truck door slams, and it stirs you awake. Joel is up and ray of sunshine, like always. He’s a grumpy old man, but you don’t really get mad at him for it. This world has changed people and at least he has some heart. Besides, how can you get mad at him when he looks so good. You rub your eyes trying to get motivated to get up. Sliding out of the truck you see Joel crouching by a weird contraption that's bubbling. Then you look to your left and, you see Ellie covered in Frank's old sleeping bag not wanting to get up yet. You can’t blame her, being a teenager in the apocalypse having to be on the go all the time would suck ass.

“Mornin sunshine.” you say playfully to Joel. Teasing each other was a way you showed care for one another. He doesn’t respond, just grumbles. You walk over to him and crouch next to him and ask, “What is that delicious smell?”. You look at his side profile and admire his face waiting for a response. “Coffee.” He says flatly but, he has a light smirk on his face. Joel’s eyes look so tired and worn. You’ve known him for a good amount of time, he never got super personal with you, but you know he lost his daughter and that was enough for a man to go crazy. You never had kids, not much family, and no partner. You didn’t have a lot to lose before but now…with having Ellie it was different. Having a soft spot for kids did not help when Tess wanted you to go on this mission with them. Even though she’s gone, you honor her everyday by making sure you keep Ellie and Joel safe. 

“Smells like shit.” Ellie says still covered in the sleeping bag. Chuckling you say “You just don’t know what taste is.” Joel nods in agreement. You share a cup of coffee and eat some food before you head on the road. Road trips always made you think. You thought about how you and Joel even met. About 8 years ago he was your smuggler for testosterone,he didn’t understand why you needed it or what it was and frankly he still doesn’t know. Before the outbreak you were trying to get on testosterone but well…the outbreak happened. For a while you gave up trying to get it and gave up on most things. You had no purpose until you found a little QZ. You became one of the best workers and with that you got perks. Perks that let you smuggle things that they wouldn’t want or look for. That’s where Joel came in. You gave him ration cards and he gave you your medicine. Now being rouge you didn’t get to have it anymore, but most of the changes were permanent anyway so you were content. The memories of when you met him and Tess are sweet and a little sour now.

 Ellie and Joel are chit chatting. You are too focused on your thoughts til Ellie pulls out something. “Light on the reading, but it's got some interesting photos.” Your eyes go wide and try your best not to bust out into laughter. “No, no Ellie that ain’t for kids” Joel says slight fear rising in his dark brown eyes. “How the hell can you walk around with that thing!” Ellie exclaims and it makes you lose it. “I wouldn’t know.” you say in and out of laughter not realizing what you said might be confusing. “Get rid of that” Joel demands, holding his hand out to grab it. “Hold your horses I wanna know what all the fuss is about.” she pulls the magazine closer to her, “Why are all these stuck together?” she questions. The fear in Joel's eyes is priceless and you laugh again holding your stomach from how much it hurts. “I’m just fuckin with ya” Ellie says and hits Joel lightly with the magazine.Joel’s faces instantly eases. “Bye bye dude!” she says while throwing the magazine out the window. You calm down and look at yourself in the side mirror and you're all red. “That was a good one Ellie.” you say still slightly chuckling. She looks at you with a snarky smile and nods. You look over at Joel’s flushed and red face. You find it cute of him getting scared he’s gonna have to give Ellie the talk. He was truly an awkward dad at heart and it made you like him, well more than you already did. His curved nose and furrowed brows were hard not to stare at while he was driving. Joel was honestly a good looking guy, and a soft heart despite all the things he did and still does. Joel tells Ellie to get some sleep and she tries to deny it but is out like a light.

“It was funny seeing you lose your stern demeanor to her.” saying as you stare at the long road ahead. He doesn’t respond and just keeps looking at the road. “It’s not easy, kids I mean. They are little humans trying to figure out the world, I can’t imagine how hard it is to be one now.” You say hoping he’d try to talk to you this time. “They are not, when I was a teen I was quite the trouble maker. Tommy and I were horrible all throughout our teens.” He says this with a reminiscing smile. “Did you mean 70 years ago?” you say teasingly. He scoffs, chuckling slightly. “Im only 52 i’m not that old.” he states glancing over at you with soft eyes. “I’ve always wanted kids. I just never thought I would…” you pause trying to figure out how to word it ”that I would be a good dad.” sadness lingers in your voice. “I think you do a fine job with Ellie.” he says with reassurance in his voice. “I thought she was just cargo.” you look at him with a questionable look. “Yea but she’s still just a kid, seems to like having you around.” his tone back to its monotone self. “I think she likes having you around too, you know. Having all of us together on this road trip feels like a little makeshift family. A daughter and her two dads.” you say jokingly but then you see any type of life in his face drain. 

“Joel I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you-” he cuts you off. He looks like he is gonna explode but instead he took a deep breath and asked out of the blue, “Are you like how Bill and Frank were?” You know that’s not what he originally wanted to say but you go with it. “Do you mean gay?” you say, quirking an eyebrow at him. “ I don’t mean-not in a bad way no offense, I've just been curious.” he says desperately trying to avoid eye contact. “Why do you wanna know Miller, you fancy me or somethin?” you say teasing and nudging his arm but, he lets out a dry laugh. “But to answer your question I don’t really label myself but I know what and who i’ve liked if that clears it up.” sincerity is in your tone. You look at him with soft eyes. Joel gets very silent…too silent, the truck is filled with a weird tension. “Joel are…you..y’know like Bill and Frank?” you say lightly not trying to upset him. He takes a deep breath sucking the air through his teeth “I don’t know.” That’s all he says and you don’t push him further.

 Some eerie silence later and he speaks again. “How did you know?” he says almost whispering. “Well, I feel safe, comforted by someone, like I could spend forever with them and not get tired of them. That’s how I know personally, but it could be different for everyone.” His beautiful mostly grey hair was falling into his face, as he furrows a brow, he pushes the hair back. You think of the note Bill left Joel about what it said. “Bill said that Frank was his purpose. That’s how he knew. Someone that didn’t make him only survive but live. I know my purpose.” you say meekly trying not to just scream at Joel to kiss you. “What’s your purpose?” Joel says genuinely confused. You take a deep breath. After everything you have to come clean, that was another thing Tess wanted you to do before she… 

“Joel, you and Ellie are my purpose. You make me want to live. You guys make me scared of dying when I never cared before because I had nothing to lose. I care about you a lot Joel, more than you’re probably comfortable with and I'm so sorr-” before you get to finish your rambling, he interrupts you. “You are my purpose too. Ellie too.” His tone is light but shaky. “So, you did fancy me Miller.” you chuckle as you nudge his arm. He chuckles and shakes his head. You grab the tape ‘Long Long Time' by Linda Ronstadt and pop it into the slot. You lean on Joel’s shoulder and drift off to sleep listening to the song.

….and I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time

#joel the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x male reader #joel miller one shot #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #tlou #joel tlou #ellie williams #ellie tlou #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller is a sexy dilf #pedro pascal #trans man

[tupperwaretub]

Blood-Ridden(part 3)

Pairing:Top!Joel Miller x bottom!male!Reader(firefly)

Warnings: excessive drinking, trauma sharing, unprotected SMUT, mainly angst, a bit of drunken fluff. Fluffy end.

Summary: Joel invites you over to his place for a few drinks, you both end up drinking too much and doing some things you regret.

Part 2: here

----------------------

You and Joel have gotten really close since the incident with Charlie, he invites you around on Saturdays for a couple drinks to try and bring some normalcy and structure to the both of your lives, its been a year and admittedly its worked a charm, ever since you and Joel had started hanging out your intrusive thoughts had quieted down, still there... But you can ignore them.

Just like every week Saturday rolls around and you're letting yourself into Joels apartment, his apartment is a little more run down than you and Tommy's but you two tend to put some effort into the structural integrity Joel obviously doesn't care enough.

"Hey Joel." You greet him with a smile and he smiles back. "Hey y/n." You walk over to him and pull him into a hug which he reciprocates. When you both pull away Joel begins to speak "Me and Tess raided a liquor store on our last run outside the QZ, most of it went to buyers but i made sure to save enough for us." He says as he tugs up his floorboard where he keeps his contraband, he pulls out three bottles of liquor. "This'll last us a long time what d'you think?" He shoots you a glance. "Yeah definitely."

Joel turns to grab two glasses and you head for the couch, he joins you soon enough with a shot of liquor each. You clink your glass with Joel's and down it.

.............

You're not sure how long its been since your first drink, you're not sure when you and Joel decided the glasses weren't necessary and started drinking straight out the bottle. You're not sure when you finished that bottle and started on the second but you can tell it couldn't have been long ago because the bottle in Joel's hand is almost full. You direct your eyes to Joel's face, he's saying something.

"On outbreak day.. i lost my daughter." He hiccups "I fuckin' ... Uh.. she got shot by some fedra asshole.. and I.. I couldn't save her.." He wipes his eyes and takes a long swig from the bottle in his hand. "What 'bout you." His eyes lock with yours. "Huh?" You rub your eyes and try to sober up a little. "Did you lose anyone on outbreak day?" You look down at the couch you're sat on and remember daniel. "Yeah." Joels hand rests atop yours. "Tell me about them." You swallowed down your emotions the best you could and told him about Daniel, how you lost him. You had no idea you had started crying until Joel wiped your tears with his thumb. You both went silent for a while, the bottle of liquor set on the table while you basked in eachothers company.

"Y'know how i was a complete ass when we first met?" Joel says breaking the silence. "Uhh.. yeah." You reply swinging your head to face him. "I think... It was just because I found you attractive.." His words are slurred. You sit there and stare at the wall thinking of a response, your brain working slower than you want it to. "Do you still find me attractive?" You say with drunk confidence. "Yeah. I do." You shuffle closer to him and cup his face "why didn't you say sooner?" Your eyes meet and he frowns. "I'm scared... That if i confess things to people, and i get attached, they'll die and I'll have to go through the same grief i went through with sarah all over again." He blinks and a tear rolls down his cheek but you wipe it away. "Well I'm not going anywhere."

Suddenly Joels lips crash against yours and his hands land on your hips, when you process whats happening you sink into the kiss and your arms wrap around his neck. Joels hands slide to your ass and he hoists you onto his lap. He pulls away from your lips and starts kissing down your neck leaving a trail of light hickeys. You let out a surprised gasp as Joel stands up and carries you to his bed, he places you down and starts to fumble with his belt. You slide your pants and underwear down and kick them off and Joel finally unbuckles his belt and takes his pants and briefs off.

Joel pushes you down gently and pulls you into a messy kiss, your hands seek refuge in his soft hair. You pull apart and Joel slowly kisses down your neck, bringing his hand up to your lips his middle and index fingers gently poking for entrance. You take his fingers into your mouth and suck, knowing exactly where they're going next.

As soon as Joel was happy with how wet his fingers were he moved his hand down to your hole, they're a tight fit but the alcohol drowns out any discomfort. His head his still hidden in the crook of your neck as he kisses and sucks dark hickeys that you'll both regret "Joel." You whine, he doesn't even look up but he removes his fingers and replaces them with his cock.

The sex is rushed, careless, there isn't an ounce of intimacy behind either of your moments but more desperation, fear and want.

Joel finishes on your stomach and rolls over, hes fast asleep within the minute. You lay on your back as sleep slowly takes over, the alcohol acting as immunity to any regrets for now.

........................

The light was blinding as you made out the figure of a soldier, he can help. "hello! Hey! Over here! Please, we need your help my friend hes broken his arm and one of those crazy people bit him, he needs medical attention!" You shout towards the soldier. "hands up! Put your hands up!" The soldier exclaims, you both comply but Daniel is unable to reach both arms up.

"your friend, this guy here? He was bitten?" The soldier finally asks, lowering his voice but keeping his gun raised in your direction.

The soldier goes quiet, reaching towards his walkie and mumbling a few things, then finally saying "yes sir." He raises his gun once more now pointing it towards Daniel, and then that familiar bang echoed through your ears.

.........................

Your breath hitches and your eyes open wide to a view of Joel's ceiling, you slowly come back to reality and sigh as you kick your legs over the side of the bed and sit up - your head pounding away. You turn to see Joel's sleeping figure as you remember the events of last night.

Quickly and silently you collect together your belongings and leave Joels apartment, you don't want to be there to find out how he reacts.

Its still dark outside as you sneak your way back to you and Tommy's shared apartment, you find him awake getting ready for the day as you attempt to sneak through the door. Tommy practically jumps out of his skin.

"shit y/n! I thought you were at Joels.." he says with a sigh. "I was." You reply blankly as you place down your things and go into your room but Tommy is quick to follow, "Something happened. What?" He glances at your neck "Oh.. I see." "What? What do you mean?" Your hand covers the area Tommy had glanced at. "He was pretty rough?" He asks, not letting Joel's name slip from his mouth. "Ew Tommy stop it. I just want to forget about it." You rub your eyes and sit on the edge of your bed.

"so it was a mistake? I mean i get it my brother can be pretty charming I've seen him do -" Tommy begins to ramble. "No. Tommy, it wasnt a mistake. Not for me. But i don't know what Joel is going to think when he wakes up, fuck, we had something good going and one drink too many and now its gone." Theres a pause between the both of you before Tommy makes his way next to you and puts his hand on your shoulder. "If you don't wanna speak to him it's fine, I might be his brother but I'm your best friend. I wont make you talk to him." You turn to look at Tommy "thanks.." he shoots you a sympathetic smile before playfully shoving you and getting up. " So how hungover are you on a scale of 1 to 10."

You flop back and laugh "fuck Tommy, like a 9." He chuckles "gonna have to get through it today buddy. Come with me on tonights run we'll smuggle in some aspirin if we find any." You smile at him "thanks Tommy, how will i ever repay you."

"for now, by not dying on me but im sure somethin'll come up." He jokes and leaves the room to continue getting ready.

...............

It's been at least a month now since the night with Joel, Tommy has done a good job at helping you avoid him but you've heard from Tess that he's been looking around for you. You know its stupid to just keep hiding from him but your fear of what he could say gets the better of you and you keep avoiding him.

That was until one fateful day when you were sorting ammunition for Marlene when suddenly you heard commotion outside, before you could see what was going on Joel barged through the door looking pissed.

"shit y/n I'm sorry he just barged past me." Tommy apologises as he walks in past Joel. "It's fine Tommy." You and Joel stare at eachother before Joel finally speaks "we need to talk." His gruff voice gives you butterflies and you start to feel guilty for avoiding him. "While we're surrounded by guns?" "You gonna shoot me?" It sounds like a joke but his face says otherwise. "No. You gonna shoot me?" "No. So this works."

"i was thinking of having this conversation somewhere nicer.." you say directing your attention back to the work Marlene had set you, Tommy had left and shut the door a little while ago. "You were planning on having this conversation? When y/n? Because it really seems to me you've just been avoidin' this." Joel seems to have calmed down slightly but is clearly still incredibly angry. "I guess I was.."

"why y/n?" You were surprised by his forwardness as you didn't take Joel to be the kind of guy to want to have these kinds of conversations. Sober at least. "I don't know Joel.." "yeah you do, why've you been avoidin' me?" You settle down what you're doing again and face him, his face is relaxed but you know hes really anxious on the inside. "I don't know.. i guess i was scared." You admit looking down and fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "Of what ?.." Joel takes a few steps forward but stays a comfortable distance away. "Of you hating me, i was scared you'd wake up and tell me to get out or to never speak to you again. I didn't think it was a mistake but i was worried you would."

You see Joel's shoes enter your vision and you look up to see hes face to face with you with a almost loving look on his face. "I didn't think it was a mistake either." He leans in and places a kiss on your cheek. "Let me take you outside the QZ, I know a nice spot we could go to just the two of us?"

"Like a date?" You smile.

"Yeah.. like a date" He smiles back.

..................

A/n: Joel seems a little outa character in this one for me but also having him in character would make the story more complicated to make and my head can't handle complicated 😔 anyways hope you enjoyed can't wait to get to what i have planned for this series its gonna get a lot better trust.

#x male reader #pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x male reader #pedro pascal x male reader #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tlou fluff #tlou angst

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 19

Hi friends!

Thanks for being patient with me -- I had one hell of a day yesterday and didn't get the Digest out when I usually do. It's short this week: only 10 fics (still not bad, considering, lmao). I read a 40 chapter fic this week that was about 400k words (rec'd below) and I was hooked (am hooked, I have like 5 chapters left). Apologies to all my moots whose fics I have ignored in favor of having my face buried in AO3 for a week, I'm catching up now!

As always you can find the Spreadsheet here and all of my previous fic recs here. Tag me in your fics if you want to be included in a future Digest :)

Recs below the Pedro in a v nice suit:

you can't trust anyone these days - a Joel/Tess one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

TW Noncon - read the warnings - I really thought this was such an interesting take on Raider!Joel. I don't usually see Tess there with him and I also liked the power dynamics/trust thing going on. The plot twist? That was everything!

All over you - a Javi G drabble by @theywhowriteandknowthings

This is super fucking hot ah!! I love needy men who can't wait to get their hands on you. You're at a fancy party with Javi G and you look so hot he has to drag you into a closet. So good

Take My Hand - a Pero Tovar one shot by @pedrito-friskito

Okay so the prompt ended up being Pero Tovar, “is this real? are…are you real?” for fluff and “take off your clothes before I rip them off your body” for smut. And it's perfect. It's got this touch of angst, but it's so fluffy and sweet and then the smut is so hot. I am in love

John Wayne - a Joel one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

SOOOO fuckin sweet, man. Like it's heartbreaking obvi. You show up in Jackson and Maria is all "this is my husband Tommy" and you're like that's the brother of the love of my life (pre-outbreak). And I won't spoil what happens but I love it so fucking much

Cherub - a Joel series by @cherubispunk

TW Dubcon - read the warnings - Mean old trailer park drug dealer Joel? The mouth on that man... Yeah this is filthy in the best way.

Stay - a Javi P one shot by @millerscoffee

Motherfuckin daddy kink with Javi P???? Hell yes. Yes on every level. This is so fucking hot ugh. The mouth on that man is criminal.

Religious Corruption - a Dave York two shot by @absurdthirst

Just reading the fuckin warnings/content summary on this fic got me screaming. Reader is an innocent virgin beginning her freshman year at a very religious school and she gets a crush on her professor, Dave York. This is not your average loss of innocence fic, not your average Dave York fic, not your average professor fic.... This is unlike pretty much anything else I've ever read and I loved it. It's sweeter than you might expect, but it's got penty of angst and the smut is insane.

I Will Always Find You a Din series by @lahooozaherr

Bodyguard!Din is one of my favorite things ever, seriously. I have only read the first chapter of this, but I'm so excited to read more. The way the whole first part of this fic is a flashback and you know eventually you get kidnapped???? It gives you this feeling of doom the whole time you're reading lmao (good thing, I promise) but like... our Mandalorian is gonna save us, yeah?

Be-All and Endor - a Din series by @djarins-cyare

Listen... this is the most well researched Din fic I have ever read. The amount of thought that went into this fic is insane. The linguistics are fascinating -- I think she absolutely nails the voice of everyone in this fic, especially Din. The knowledge of Mando'a and Ewokese on display here is incredible and if you ever wanted to hear Din Djarin growl strings of (actually coherent) Mando'a (with thorough translations) right into your ear... This fic is for you. The characterization and the way that every single decision made by Reader and Din make sense and build to such a gorgeous character arc? UGH. And while you have to wait... a long time... for smut -- it is so worth it. GODS this fic is gorgeous. I love it so fuckin much. (This is the one I was talking about in the intro)

Breaking in the new house - a Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

AHHHH this is so fucking hot. It's literally husband (so helmetless)!Din fucking you on like every surface of your house on Nevarro. There is not a refractory period in sight in this fic and I love it with all my heart. He is so hot, I want to die. <3

--------------- my fics --------------

I finally made a masterlist for A Ghost of You and updated all the headers which I'm very excited about. I also added a new fic to that series called Faulty System. The series is a mostly angsty, sometimes smutty Dieter Bravo x f!reader fic.

---------- Oldies but Goodies ----------

Here's some fics from before I did the digest or made commentary!

Jack Daniels x tattoo parlour AU - a Jack one shot by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Early Morning Moments - a Dieter one shot by Jazzelsaur on AO3

Over and Done With - a Javi P one shot @loquaciousferret

Every fic by @frannyzooey (I have too many of her fics on my spreadsheet to rec separately lmao)

In an Instant - a Joel one shot by @mishasminion360

A fool for you - a Joel one shot by @supernaturalgirl20

It would be - a Din Series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

------------------------------------

Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

[ryanparrish]

location: the park

closed for: @blairmoreno

"No......." You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me.

Of all the people in this god forsaken park to run into, Katara picks her. It's as if his own dog has joined the 'torture Ryan parade', set out to remind him of a past not long forgotten and so entrenched in his being, he'll never be able to let go of it. Not even if he wanted to.

"You do realize, you have on the wrong shoes for a walk around the park right?" He's not sure the weathered concrete cares about her heels. Or the overpriced handbag hanging around delicate arm.

That's one thing he doesn't miss about Tess' world. The money, the prestige, the extravagant parties and labels and silverware. At the end of the day, none of that stuff matters. If anything, it's a reminder of how grateful Ryan is to come from a modest home, full of modest people, and modest food and modest clothes.

That's not to say he didn't love her in spite of it, that he didn't look past the gilded birdcage she seemed to live in alongside Blair.

Oh, Blair. Tess' other best friend. The one Ryan often had to wrestle with over who she loved more.

It was him. It was always him. No amount of Blair petulantly whining otherwise would've changed it.

Though, that might not be the same anymore...

After all, she had moved on. She started a new relationship, a new family, a new life without him. A life Blair had likely still been a part of.

Did she know? About Waverly.... had she passed him by in town and never even bothered to tell him or bat an eye? Sure, it wasn't her place. Maybe it went against girl code but, a part of him couldn't help but wonder if, she too, felt like Tess was better off now.

Granted, Ryan would never have the gall to ask.... Instead, he focused on lighter, unrelated matters....

Like Katara aggressively rubbing her wet nose against the backs of Blair's legs. "Kat--- enough." Ryan shooed her away and when that didn't work, he noted the neon-bright yellow tennis ball in his hand and threw it into the open field for her to go fetch.

"I'd say it's nice to see you but......" he's kidding. You know, despite battling it out for Tess' attention, Ryan actually liked Blair. He liked watching her trip over things, and fail miserably to pick up guys. She was her own brand of entertainment some days. "Kidding. You're the last person I'd want to see slip on ice so that's.... something." Smile meet olive branch.

#𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 ╱ interaction. #with: blair moreno. #do not match length okay...

[thesoulofasurvivor]

The Last of Us Season 1, Episode 2

Just finished watching the episode and I, it was literally so fucking fantastic WHAT EVEN ARE WORDS to explain how much I loved it seriously if ya'll ain't watching, you are missing out on some of the best quality shit on television I SWEAR

tonight we got our first look at the clickers and fuck. it felt like I was in the game again, that shit is fucking terrifying.

SPOILERS BELOW. DO NOT CLICK "keep reading" IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED EPISODE 2 OF THE LAST OF US

I loved the opening. I just love having that extra content of the outbreak, how it began, how people reacted. The utter fear on that poor woman's face... And the absolute defeat on the man's face when she broke the news to him. There is no medicine, there is no vaccine. It's awful, I don't even want to begin to think about the dread these people felt, knowing that they were going to lose no matter what they did or didn't do.

I knew I was going to cry but damn, that shit gave me a headache. Like the kind of headache you get when you're sad........ a sad-ache. Yes, that. I just, Tess, like I just, I love Tess so much and this goddamn show made me love her even more and they just. I mean I knew it was coming but damn, it so sucks that she dies.

I personally LOVED the changes they made, and how they fit in certain things from later in the game that were between Joel and Ellie to being with Tess. Like the hotel thing, I loved that. I love that they REALLY drive home that doing this whole "mission" was Tess' literal dying wish, that really hit hard to see her so distraught like that.

The way she died is different than the game given that when Joel kills an infected... What was it?? A runner?? Some fuckin ugly runners??? Anyways, that horde of infected we seen earlier in the episode came running to the capitol building and Tess is the one to (help) stop the horde while Joel and Ellie made a run for it. And uhhhh... Should we, talk about Tess kissing the uh, the infected? That was disgusting... Still confused on whether it was supposed to be a runner or a stalker. In the game, runners don't really have that much fungal growth, especially on the face, they retain majority of their human features. It's stalkers that begin to look so deformed. Maybe it was just a runner between stages? Or just some really fucking ugly runner either way it was gross.

I think it was pretty cool to have had Ellie get scratched / bitten, and using that to compare to Tess. Seeing that hers is clearly really bad vs Ellie's that is literally just like as if it's a normal cut.

THOSE FUCKING CLICKERS? Send me to my grave MY GOD spot on, just perfection, holy shit like they absolutely smashed that nail on the head with them clickers. Wow, that was horrifying. Really gave us a whole new outlook on just how dangerous these things are, how much they can hear. Ellie literally just breathed and the clicker was like WHAT YOU SAY BITCH, goddamn.

Joel and Ellie's little bantering back and forth? LOVE IT, love it all so much. The awkward tension is perfect.

We got more lore for the newly introduced "tendrils," the infected are all connected in some way. "If you step on one patch of fungus, you can wake infected from long ways away and they'll know where you are." That's honestly... Horrifying, and an easy way for the infected to gather in hordes, making them even more dangerous.

#THE BRAIN ROT IS SEVERE #~~ 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑 ও 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑦 ; 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑎𝑑 #tlou hbo spoilers

[lemonnngrass]

,,,,,,more random short writing

"Finley, get out of my room," Aeizar groaned. Observing the wall decor, Tess was surprised to see a fursona art print. Turning towards the troll, he stuck a thumb out towards the drawing.

"What's up with the art? You look like someone who'd call me cringe for being a furry. Not that I am one, but y'know," Tess quipped, eying Aeizar's eternally grumpy look. However, upon hearing Tess's comment, he frowned and gave him an annoyed glance. "What?"

"Finley.. I'm literally Katyam's moirail. You know? The catgirl?" Aeizar raised an eyebrow at the blonde. Tess cringed back. "What now?"

"Dude.. Isn't Katy, like, trans?" Aeuzar wrinkled his nose.

"Yeah, so?"

"So? Dude, that's so fucked. Don't call them a girl then," Tess said, incredulous that he even had to say such a thing. Aeizar groaned and wiped his face with his hands. Taking a deep breath, he began again.

"Finley, Yams doesn't care about being called a cat girl because she's literally a cat girl! Being nonbinary doesn't change the cat girl thing," Aeizar said, his eyes starting to spark from irritation. "I think I know more about her gender than a guy who's barely met her."

Sensing he's struck a nerve, Tess bit the inside of his cheek and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry, man. I guess I just get defensive over that kinda shit because of Eshwar and y'know.. basically all my friends.. Wow, we're all trans, huh?" Blinking, Tess started nervously rambling. "I mean, shit, there's me, Esh, Macy, Jass, Rory, Rosa, Elie, Pirens, Esakar, Ittara, Mashak, and apparently Katyam too, holy shit. Aw fuck, are you trans too, Aeizar? If not, you gotta join the club, man. I swear we're cool. I'm sure we can make you some fuckin' welcoming gift. Jass and I can bake for you and Keirli could make ice cream. Shit, if you join, Macy's gonna force us to watch Tom Cruise movies. Maybe you shouldn't join."

Aeizar closed his eyes. It's okay. He can do this. He's been friends with Eshwar since they were wrigglers. He can deal with his best friend's boyfriend's idiotic ramblings for a little longer.

"If you don't wanna join, you can be our honorary member. Maybe Eshie will give you a congratulatory blowjob. Wait, fuck, forget I said that."

Okay, nope. Not doing this. Aeizar stopped Tess's speech with his psiionics. Even so, he could hear the cogs whirling in Tess's mind on how Aeizar's psiionics could be used in the bedroom. He gave him a warning glare and Tess's face immediately turned red.

"Finley. You are going to shut up. No, don't make this weird and sexual. You're going to stop making weird slip-ups about your matesprit giving me head. Holy fuck, why would that even cross your mind," Aeizar asked, the sentence finally penetrating his mind.

At the very least, Tess looked embarrassed, but not even remotely ashamed. Shaking his head, Aeizar facepalmed before continuing.

"For your information, I am trans. So is Rascha and all the lowbloods. We just don't find it as culturally significant as humans. Seriously, who the fuck cares what others identify as?"

Letting the psiionic hold loosen, Aeizar collapsed on his beanbag. Tess let his hand linger on his mouth. It was all tingly from Aeizar's hold on him.

"So.. you aren't going to join our club," Tess asked with a grin. Aeizar used his psionics to toss a energy drink can at Tess's head while he laughed and dodged it. "Okay, I'll leave you to your weird gaming stuff. See you later, Eggs!"

Once Tess ran out of the room, Aeizar shook his head and turned back to his husktop to continue caring for his online pets.

...Wait, why does he call you Eggs again?

[lilisbigworld]

The start of the apocalypse and the death of his daughter meant, for Joel anyway, that life was supposed to be lived alone. Like a hermit. Minding your own business, doing what you need to do, and returning home at the end of the day, only to repeat that all over again the next morning.

And then he met Tess. Tess, who... somehow weaseled her way into his life by helping with the missions he had taken up. Tess who was, some mornings, just as grumpy as he was, and didn't mind laying in complete silence as the sun slowly seeped through the window.

Tess, who he loves more than anything. Who he has nightmares about losing. And he should leave her- so often, he thinks he should leave her. It would be best for both of them.

Or... maybe selfishly it's what's best for him. Maybe he just can't stand to lose another person.

Every time he looks at her and she offers him one of her rare smiles, he knows that to be true. He can''t lose her.

Which is why, before he starts on his journey to look for Tommy, he asks her to come with him. He asks her to pack up her things, leave the 'home' she's come to be semi-comfortable with, and hit the road with him once again. Only this time they have no idea what they'll encounter along the way.

If Joel ever had any doubts about the feelings Tess had for him, all of those doubts washed away with four simple words. 'Of course I'll come.'

Of course she would- because she's Tess. She helps people. Even when they don't deserve it, she helps them. She's helped him all this time, encouraging him to find a place of peace within himself. Most of the time it sounds like pure bullshit- but it's true. He's better when he's with her. They're better together. Everyone knows it.

Their relationship is mostly private- nobody around them is good enough friends with them to see any sort of affection. That's all saved for the bedroom at the end of the day, or even the shower if they want to save water.

Joel loves the shared showers.

What he doesn't love is how he's standing in his living room, staring at Tess, who now has a little girl sitting on the couch with her.

A little girl. A kid. They're supposed to take a kid.

"Once again I gotta say- you've got to be fuckin' kiddin' me." He studies Tess, "You're just... what... alright with this?"

"She's a kid, Joel," she says softly, brushing a hand through Ellie's hair. "She needs help. When have I been known to say no to helping someone?"

"God dammit- never." He admits, putting his hands on his hips with a sigh. "Ellie. That's your name, right?"

The little girl nods quickly, "'m Ellie and I like horses. And space! Have you ever been to space? You don't look like an astronaut."

"Certainly ain't." Joel shakes his head. "You know how t'listen? Be a good girl?" Why's it feel creepy to ask that? Probably 'cause of the perverts who'll take just about anything for pleasure during this god damn shit storm.

He hasn't been a dad in a long time. What's it even like to be a girl dad? Can he even remember?

One more mouth to feed. One more life to protect.

And he'd do it all for Tess. He will do it all for Tess.

"Yes sir," Ellie nods again. "So can we go now?"

Joel murmurs something under his breath about how she 'won't be so enthusiastic once she sees the real world', then begrudgingly heads out with her and Tess.

Even just an hour into the trip, he can tell Tess is having a great time. She's worried too, sure, and on high alert- but she's also real happy about having a little girl to look after and chat with. Bonding time.

Bonding time. What a fucking joke.

Tess should know that Ellie's just cargo- that's all she was meant to be. Not some... little adoptee. But something tells him that's how this story will end up for them. One day they'll find Tommy and sit on the porch with their rifles lookin' for runners while this Ellie girl runs around in the front yard.

Having a little one with them slows them down quite a bit- honestly, Joel doesn't mind. Even though he's young he often thinks that he's getting way too old for some of this shit.

But Tommy needs him.

The second day of their trip, Joel has them pick up the pace a little, wanting to at least get as far from Boston as quick as he can.

Until a street covered with the gruesome aftermath of an infected attack stops him in his tracks.

"Woah." He puts a hand out, stopping Ellie before she can walk past him, ignoring her huff of annoyance. Stubborn thing.

Using his free hand, he slings his rifle off his shoulder, getting it into position as he checks out the scene. "Tess, you an' Ellie stay back, now. I mean it."

He slowly walks forward once Tess has her hand on Ellie's shoulder, her pistol at the ready as well.

Bodies lay everywhere. What the fuck happened here, exactly? He's not too sure he wants to look close enough.

Most of these bodies are human, too. Well- they were. But they didn't look infected, is what he's thinking. They just look... torn. Absolutely shredded up.

"What... the hell..." he whispers to himself, stepping just a bit closer to get a better look.

I let out a whimper at the sound of his boots coming near, curling up tighter into my ball. Day two of being in here without any food or water. Day two of sitting in a puddle of blood, cold and soaked to the bones.

[pettyprocrastination]

Panty & Bambi

Francisco “Catfish” Morales x Roller Derby!Reader

Summary: Helena Morales celebrates her 12th birthday at the roller rink, where she plays cupid for her kind father who’s attention has been captured by a confident skater that danced about the rink. 

Warnings: profanity, uhhh mention of alcohol?? Frankie being a fucking BOTTOM about buff thick women lmao. 

Word Count:2.9k

Perm Taglist: @honestlystop​

authors note:Wrote this because I’m sad about not being able to do derby this season and i’ve been watching lots of bouts to comfort myself in it lmao. Big inspiration to @qveenbvtch​ who wrote a fucking MAGICAL javi rollerskating fic called Ring My Bell!! It’s so fucking good read it here !!!!!! Big thank you to my boo @captainsamwlsn​ for reading this for me ILY Thais so fkin much <3

“For her next birthday could your daughter pick something that isn’t fucking murder on my knees?”

Frankie stared at his friend and god father to his now twelve year old daughter under the flashing fluorescent lights of the roller rink before taking a sip of the cheap beer in his hand. “Don’t whine Santi.” Frankie laughed.  “We both know you’d do anything for her.”

Which was true. 

Helena had only been a baby when the group went to Columbia to take down Lorea. They had always been a close-knit group of friends, but what happened on that trip, that shit-show of a mission, made them appreciate having each other even more. They visited Tom’s family when they were able to, the first few months after his death his ex-wife wouldn’t even let them on the front lawn. She took to screaming and cursing at them for his death, they didn’t tell her about the teenage boy that took her ex-husband’s life to avenge his brother. 

Tess did in fact get into Harvard. She sent Pope letters from time to time. She didn’t blame him or the others for her father’s death like her mother did. The boys couldn’t say the same for themselves. 

But the family they did have, the sweet chunky cheeked little infant girl Frankie was proud to call his daughter? Oh they all worshiped her. Little Helena had them all wrapped around her finger from the moment they set eyes on her. 

The men had been there for every tea party, fairy tale, and birthday. They watched her go from mashing cake into her mouth at one years old to laughing at a skate rink with her friends at twelve. 

Frankie had been there for everything and his boys were there to help him. 

He couldn’t say the same for Liana. 

“Twelve years brother.” Pope remarked. Frankie groaned and let his head fall forward. 

“You don’t have to tell me man. Where did it all go?” He looked out on the rink with a smile, watching his daughter skate with ease on the polished wood floors while Ben wobbled along next to her, looking more like a baby taking its first steps than a grown man. 

“It feels like just yesterday I was changing her diapers, now she’s in eighth grade.” Frankie sighed, released the vice like grip he had on the neck of his bottle. “Fuck man, I’m not ready for her to go to high school, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.”

“You’ll do what you’ve always done for her, ‘Fish.” Frankie looked up to see Will standing at his side, setting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be there for her. Which is more than I can say about half of the dead beat dads out there now.”

“Dad!” She called out, her pigtails swaying as she turned to him, hands held out with a big grin. “Come on!”

Frankie ignored the pop of his knees as he stood up with a groan. 

“I’ll pray for your back hermano!” Santi called out with a barking laugh as his friend slowly stepped onto the rink with shaking legs

Frankie couldn’t give his little girl the world no matter how much he wanted to, he was just one man. But damn if he wouldn’t skate with her at her birthday party. 

Helena took his hand in hers as they skated, which he knew was more for his safety than hers. But he still felt his heart clench at seeing just how small his daughter’s hand was compared to his.

“How are you so bad at this!” She giggled upon seeing his knees buckle for the third time in two minutes. While Helena had taken to roller skates with ease, the same could not be said for her father, who clutched onto her hand like a lifeline. 

“Mija, the last time I was on wheels like this was before I broke my ankle skateboarding.” A woman skated by them, the wheels on her skated lighting up a bright pink each time they made contact with the floor. You turned, skating backwards for a moment with a carefree smile before turning forward again. 

Frankie’s knees buckled when Helena’s hip bumped against his.

“God-” His daughter snorted. “Maybe if you stopped staring at that lady and focused more on skating you wouldn’t be wobbling like an old man on a walker!”

His head snapped to his daughter like a whip, for a moment uncaring how he nearly lost his balance. “I am not-I wasn’t-did you just call me an old man?”

His daughter simply stared up at him with that smug little grin that he swore Santi taught her. 

“She’s pretty.” His daughter noted, he spared another glance up, feet sliding across the floor as he did. 

You skated around another couple, hips swaying to the song playing over the speaker and hands raised high over your head. You brought one foot in front of the other in a sashay along the rink, gliding over the floor with grace that Frankie couldn’t even try to get as he gripped his daughter’s hand for dear life while they skated along the inner rim of the rink. 

His daughter tugged at his hand, which had gotten arguably more sweaty when he realized that you would be passing them once more. “You should say hi.”

Frankie shook his head and offered his daughter a smile. “It’s your birthday ‘lena.” He reminded her. “You should be having fun with your friends instead of worrying about your old man’s dating life.”

Helena tilted her head in thought before smiling and letting go of her father’s hand. “Okay!”

“Wait-wait!” Frankie shot his hands out to balance himself, without the help of his daughter he felt even more off-kilter and out of his element. “Where are you going!?”

His daughter laughed before joining her friends that had skated ahead of them. “You told me to have fun with my friends! So I’m going to!” She looked behind him and smiled so wide he felt his heart drop. “Have fun dad! You got this!”

“Helena Maria Morales if you don’t-” Frankie’s threat was cut off when his legs wobbled against, one foot shooting out to steady him, except he was on fucking roller skates, which only caused his foot to slide out from beneath him and send him tumbling onto the hard floor beneath him. 

Had it not been for his skating savior that is. 

You shot forward, one hand gripping the collar of his shirt meanwhile the other grabbed the waistband of his trousers to steady him. On instinct his hands gripped your hips like you were a life preserver and he was a man lost at sea. 

“You alright there buddy?” Frankie simply stared at you, throat tight and mouth wide open as his bright wracked for a single thought, a single word to say to you. 

“Jesus Christ.” Santi groaned from the other side of the rink. He and the other boys sat watching in equal parts awe and dismay at their friend being caught like damsel and then absolutely flounder in front of you. “Say something you idiot!”

“Oh this is painful.” Ben snorted. “I don’t want to look away!”

“I’m uh, yeah I’m good.” Frankie realized as you pulled him upright how fucking strong you were, and it made his knees knock together for a whole different reason. His hands tensed and he realized he was still holding onto your hips. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, really.” You held up a hand to silence him, his mouth snapped shut as if it were a trained command. “I know you aren’t some creep trying to cop a feel, I’ve been watching you skate for a while now.”

Frankie looked down at the floor. “Yeah well, the last time I was on wheels was when I was sixteen and tried to impress a girl at the mall by grinding on a rail with my skateboard.”

You slowly took his hand in yours and began to skate forward, slow smooth steps that he did his best to mimic. He was so focused on not falling he hadn’t realized that the pair of you were skating like a couple. “Did it work?”

“Fuck no!” He laughed. “I broke my ankle, lost a tooth, then she and her friends all laughed at me.”

You smiled at his story, noting the way the multi-colored lights bounced off his profile. “Well, I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t break an ankle or lose any teeth tonight, alright Bambi?”

Frankie’s feet wobbled again and tightened his grip on your hands, marveled for a moment at how soft they felt against his. “Bambi?”

“Yeah.” You offered him a slight shrug, he still wasn’t sure how you could skate around others with such ease while also maintaining a conversation, but was thankful for it either way. “You both have brown hair, both have shit balance-”

“Gee thanks.”

You giggled and flicked the tip of his cap. “Let me finish.” You scolded. “You both have shit balance, and you're both pretty fuckin’ cute.”

Frankie felt his heart race and his lips curl into a shy smile. He watched the colors that danced over your form like a kaleidoscope. “Well my actual name is Frankie-” The tip of his skate dipped forward, catching on the floor and sending him careening right into your arms. You kept your feet together at an angle to keep from falling, hands grabbing onto him as he barreled forward, arms thrown around you and nose pressed against yours. “-but I guess Bambi is pretty fitting too.”

“Well Bambi-” Frankie felt a tingle down his spine every time you called him that. A nickname so sweet and innocent had no business making him feel so hot under the collar. “How about we take a break from trying to keep you from falling flat on your ass and go sit down for a bit? If your daughter doesn’t mind that is.”

He looked over your shoulder, where Helena stood with two of her friends, smiling wide and flashing her dad two thumbs up. 

“I don’t think she'll mind.”

```

“A pilot?” You whistled, leaning back in his chair. “Damn, you’ve got me beat. I’m just a high school English teacher!”

Frankie shook his head, toe tapping on the linoleum floor of the little snack corner of the rink that pair of you were sitting at. “Now I wouldn’t say all that. I mean, spending your entire day dealing with teenagers who definitely don’t want to be there? You must have the patience of a saint.”

You bumped your knee against his. “We’ll now you’re just trying to flatter me.”

Frankie held one hand up and the other over his heart, as if he were taking an oath. “All truth here, coming from a former AP English kid.” You gasped and held one hand over your chest and pretended to swoon. 

“An honor student of my subject? Be still my beating heart!” Frankie snorted into his drink, which caused you to in turn laugh loud enough for the people in front of them to turn and glare. 

He had always hated dating. It felt so forced, so uncomfortable. The icebreakers were only met with bland replies of women who clearly weren’t interested in him, and only became less interested when they learned he was a father. That or they would praise him for being so “brave” to raise his daughter on his own. What, as if he was supposed to walk out on her just like her mother did? It turned him off to the whole situation. 

But this? Sitting in the tiny snack corner at a roller rink, sipping overpriced sodas and laughing loud enough to annoy people while staring at the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen? Oh it was better than any date at a four star restaurant he’s been on. 

“Trust me.” He told you. “You would’ve hated me as a student.”

“I could never!”

“Oh yes you could!” He laughed. “I fell asleep in class all the time, never answered questions and uh honestly?” He pulled his hat low over his face with a shy smile. “If I had you as a teacher? I’d never get anything done.”

His eyes flicked to the sleeve of your shirt, seeing your biceps strain against it as you leaned over for your drink. The shorts you wore hugged the thick muscle of your legs and he felt his throat tighten up at the thought. 

You smiled and pushed his cap up so you could see his brown doe eyes. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment, Bambi.”

 Santi watched the pair of you, nearly nose to nose when you leaned in close to toy with his hat. He smiled and bumped Will’s shoulder. “Look at ‘em go. ‘Fish still has it.”

“That’s our boy.”

They had all gotten the call when Liana left, she had simply packed her bags in the middle of the night and vanished. Leaving Francisco and their six month old baby alone. They knew how much it hurt him to see her leave, how much he blamed himself and wracked his brain for how to fix it, how many times he called her and pleaded for her to come home. If not for him, for their daughter. Their little baby girl who wouldn’t stop crying because she was hungry and mommy was gone. 

But to see him now, blushing like a school boy while talking with a woman who his daughter practically pushed him into, they all felt a swell of pride. 

If any of them deserved a happy ending, it was Catfish. 

“If he doesn’t ask her out-” Ben sighed. “I’ll kill him. Just fucking murder him.”

Sadly, just as Frankie was about to ask that dreaded question, if he could get your number or hell, if you’d like to get a drink sometime, a woman with bright pink hair poked her head over your table. 

“Hey panty!” She called out and Frankie damn near got whiplash at that nickname. “Can you give me a ride home? My car is busted and my boyfriend can’t pick me up.”

Your shoulders deflated at her response and Frankie couldn’t help but feel a little prideful that you felt dejected to leave his side. “Yeah no problem Jammie.”

“Thanks!” The girl chirped. “I’ll meet you outside!”

When she left, Frankie turned to you with a slow smile, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Panty?”

“Ughh I know!” You groaned into your hands. “It’s not some weird nickname or anything it’s just my derby name I swear!”

Frank leaned back, eyes wide in admiration. “You play roller derby?”

You grinned, shoulders back and confidence oozing off of you at the mention of your sport. You tucked your hands behind your head and Frankie took that moment to marvel at the muscle that strained against your shirt. “Damn right I do. Not to brag but I’ve been the MVP for the last three seasons.”

It was absolutely a brag and he loved it. 

“You know-” Your eyes flicked to his, shy and skittish. “-we have a bout, a game, this Saturday if you want to come. It’ll be here, at eight. You don’t have to-”

“I’ll be there.” He promised. The thought of you in those spandex shorts on skates, being positively brutal to other women on the track with that confident grin? Christ, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. “I’ve never watched roller derby before but, it’s recently piqued my interest.”

You smiled, raising your foot to knock it against his. “Well I hope it keeps you interested Frankie, because you’ve piqued mine too.”

Frankie felt a swell of pride in his chest at your shy smile and sweet words. He felt like a kid back in high school, trying his best to woo the girl in his biology class with passing notes in hopes of getting a date. 

Only this time he had more experience and a lot less acne. 

“Panty!” The woman shouted. “Lets gooo! I work the morning shift tomorrow!”

Your face fell. “Looks like that’s my que to head out. I’ll see you Friday though?”

“Fuck yes.” Frankie breathed out, before regaining his composure. “I mean uh yeah, yeah I’ll uh, see if I can make it.” You laughed and stood up from the table, turning on your heel at the final moment to press a quick kiss to his cheek. 

“I’ll see you then, Bambi.” You purred, before walking out of the door and past His daughter and three grown ass men, who stood in a circle nearby like a bunch of gossiping old women.

Frankie didn’t even have a moment to realize you kissed him before his daughter bounded over to him asking eighty questions within two seconds.

“What's her name? Is she cool? She seems cool! Are you guys dating now? Did you ask her out? Did you get her number?”

He brought this daughter in for a hug, bringing his hand down on the crown of her head in a playful nuzzle. 

“Alright speedy gonzales.” She laughed into his side and tried to wriggle out of his bear hug. “No more matchmaking, you hear me?”

“But it worked! Didn’t it?” His stern facade melted away at the excited grin on Helena’s face.He sighed, letting his chin fall onto the top of her head. 

“We’ll just have to wait and see mija.”

His daughter whooped in victory, throwing her hands high in the air in celebration. 

“That means it worked!”

#Panty & Bambi #frankie morales #catfish morales #francisco morales #francisco morales x reader #catfish x reader #frankie morales x reader #triple frontier #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #the meaning of her derby name will make more sense in the next chapter i SWEAR

[rat-father]

When you get this, feel free to respond with five things that make you happy~! Then if you're up for it, send this to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity~!

1. My horse Guus

2. My cat Tess

3. My best friends (looking at you zodia)

4. Baby animals

5. Looking in the mirror cuz I'm fuckin hot and sweaty

#🐀

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Ali

Chatting ‘bout Christmas, boy troubles, pregnancy AND THE FACT THE BABY IS TOTALLY NOT DREW’S LOLLOLLOL

Tommy: Oi! 😼 What you gettin da cos like even I feel cheeky considering socks for 2 years running Ali joined the chat 3 hours ago Tommy: I was gonna go full rivers of whiskey cept I'd probs drown myself in it before the bottle was in the bag 😂 Ali: So you should, elf on the shelf! Socks should only ever be an add-on prezzie, even if they're DEAD comical, like. Ali: Speaking of elf on the shelf, would you be willing to come round mine every day at the crack of dawn (aka JUST before the kiddos will arise like horrible demon krakkens from the depths) so I can arrange you in comical positions and situations? Ali: They love that shit. I on the other hand want to murder the CEO of whatever company/the high-key mum mafia that made this shit popular again. Ali: I've got me thinking cap on for the old man for ye...Hmm Ali: (and how rude to get cuffed for the season and not even get to the part where you get a bomb-ass present/someone to tout around the family functions...rude. You not actually at the bottom of a bottle quite yet though, yeah? Doing the obligatory welfare checkup here) Tommy: Excuse you miss money bags! 💰 just 'cause you're one of the rare artists who ain't starving like! some of us don't have boyfriends who cook or paying audiences Tommy: so yeah obvs! Gotta keep in shape just in case don't I? catch me pirouetting across your patio bitch Tommy: Green's my colour these days and red's always been signature Tommy: I'm alright (love you for asking!) how's you? Tommy: Genuinely Ali: Oh yeah, 'cos father will flip his shit if the price tag ain't AT LEAST three figs... 😏 Silly billy, and oi, oi! My student loan ain't kicked in yet ...I'm on a gap yaaaaaah though, darling, I've simply GOTTA act like a frivilous rich bitch. Deal with it, you're still the shady bitch of the fam, okay? 😘 Ali: Yaaasss, you're gonna have to drop a couple of pounds to fit in that teeny costume but a day in the life of a TRUE star init, babe? I believe in you Ali: Bet you didn't come here to be called fat, did you? How fucking cheeky is that forreal Ali: Colour of luck boy 🍀🍀🍀 Ali: Hmm, ngl I'm in a bit of a...situation, and I ain't talking I've forgot to order a turkey Tommy: Imagine...jog on old man just 'cause went for the quantity with the sprogs doesn't mean you'll get quality back soz Tommy: try it but good luck trying to get your little uns to deal with you being the spoilt one 😂 Tommy: well since I got the 🍀 its 🤞 Tommy: feckin hell has caleb forgotten kids are for life not just chrimbo again? Tommy: I'll deck his halls if he's being a prick Ali: That'll show him! That's what you get for bringing me into this world, whole lotta backchat and not an ounce of grattitude, take that! Ali: Join me 'cos I'm sure that's what mum feels I've got her Ali: We did Rio's first Xmas morning, and 2nd, at home! It really is Caleb's fams turn Ali: I can't help that its Junie's first, evidently I ain't planning this shit woman! Ali: #contraceptionwhomst? #pulloutnhopeforthebest #itswhatgodwouldwant Ali: And it ain't like we're not coming over for a second dinner, we fat as hell, get wid it and pass the gravy Ali: Catch me in the tesco throwing tantrums with Rio on the reg tbh #twocanplayatthatgamehoney #childrenraisingchildren Ali: Nah, although loving all the macho threats of violence when my honour is at stake as of late...Is my drama letting you live up to your full brotherly potential? Welcome... Ali: TMI, give a shit, but I'm late on and I've thrown up a few times, not from the mother's ruin, like Ali: hahahahahama'sgonnakillmeisn'tshe Ali: whatthefucklike Tommy: Who you kidding you're the blatant fave & lbr if the lord's got his specs on should be even more so for following her shining example like Tommy: honor thy father and mother and all that Tommy: who doesn't love a mini me Tommy: especially one who can sing every sperm is sacred with perf pitch Tommy: Amen! this aint 1850 pass the roasties gdi! Tommy: all we want for christmas is carbs Tommy: OH MY CHRIST NOT AGAIN Tommy: 😧 Tommy: I know you're on your gap year but no need to be so literal Ali: Ha, please! Not Tess Vickers' fave. Da's, obviously, as he is mine, (babe). You and Joe are the momma's boys, always have been, you needy little babbas. Ali: A woman who doesn't love herself...damn, too deep, reverse, reverse! Ali: You'd be surprised how annoying an all-singing-all-dancing constant reminder of all your best and worst bits is Ali: Usually the best, which is happy-making magic, but when its the worst...GOOD LORDT. Plus its a reminder of the same in your other half, and we all like to overlook that shit now, don't we? *sips tea* Ali: God I am gonna go HAM with my 'cravings' this Chrimbo...what timing! Maybe I did plan this after-all Ali: but no, I did not Ali: But yeah...this is a thing I'm processing, thought I'd drag you down with me 🤷 Tommy: I was gonna be all like not with him probs dead in a ditch and me one audition away from getting cosy in a cardboard box but I better swerve too dont wanna spend the season with the samaritans on speed dial Tommy: you and fraze are the success stories savor it Tommy: honey I've got a mirror Tommy: and near constant feedback from them in the know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: that's calebs chrimbo gift sorted then yeah? Ali: Lordy, I know we're Irish but there's no need to be that fuckin' maudlin, Tommo Ali: Oh, you wanted an idea for Da but that is SO Fraze's prezzie Ali: Just tell him that, all day. Money can't buy that kinda happiness Ali: The spirit of the Holidays Ali: Them in the know don't know shit Ali: I mean...gift or curse? Ali: We've only just got back on track, this is probably going to derail the whole damn caboose Tommy: everyone's a critic and there's only one shane macgowan I hear ya Tommy: I reckoned you meant a mirror for a sec I was like uh huh he's got that one covered love 😏 Tommy: Hey! That's mine covered 🙋 just repeat that back to me Tommy: those clueless cunts Tommy: Nah he'll be buzzing esp if he gets another girl Tommy: there's only one Rio but he's shameless ha Tommy: leave the cursing for ma she'll be doing plenty once she's done stuffing your stocking with contraceptives Ali: Mhmm, save it for the improptu karaoke when we're all feeling merry on the day, like Ali: Lmao, he'd live in a 360 degree view changing room if he could Ali: How millenial of us! Lets just gift each other with positive affirmations Ali: Maybe...Gah Ali: Whatever, whether he deals or doesn't, doesn't change the fact I am with child again and yeah, Caleb's reaction is the least of my worries Ali: I'm going to be going to Uni abroad with 3 kids...damn Ali: If I don't get locked away for my own good, of course Tommy: 😇 Will do Tommy: I reckon that's the goal when he 'makes it' Tommy: scrawl it on my personalised starbies cup and have done babe Tommy: You're grand it'll just be one hell of a plane ride Tommy: 🍀 & 🤞 Tommy: OH SHIT WAIT Tommy: the whole Caleb reaction thing has me thinking...not to be rude but Tommy: it is his yeah? Ali: It better be Ali: Aside from the Drew incident I didn't shag anyone else Ali: and we used a condom Ali: I mighta been several sheets to the wind but I hadn't lost my whole goddamn mind Tommy: thank christ for that Tommy: imagine trying to play happy families with that twat Ali: Amen Ali: Yeah that isn't the life I've signed up for Ali: Bitches forget I already got a ring on my finger, like Ali: Legal or otherwise Tommy: Beyonce is here for your union Tommy: good enough for me Tommy: low key proud of ya not to be an enabler but like Tommy: I'll happily hooray you getting Drew to put something on it too god knows where that fuckboy's been Ali: Thank you! I will take that hooray because I literally had to mum Ro's arse and tell her to do the same every time Ali: AND had to do it in such a way it didn't sound like I was saying as much, like, your boyf is a cheater and we all know it sweetie Tommy: ugh 😷 glad you did though I hear your next door nemesis had to get herself to the clinic sharpish & i don't reckon she'd spread gossip that'd make her out to be riddled Tommy: 🦀🐛 Ali: 🤢😤 Unsurprised on both their behalf there but low-key furious Ali: he knows how that bitch treats Ro, and always has done Ali: there's being a cheat with any random hoe and then there's that...is it me or is that next-level careless? Ali: To the point it looks like he's doing it to hurt her, I'm sure he's just ignorant but, like, what the fuck?!!? Tommy: RIGHT? Tommy: like I don't doubt she ain't telling him all the ins and outs of her childhood drama but still Tommy: even with more brains than biceps he's gotta have a clue or two Tommy: OOOPS ACCIDENTAL COMPLIMENT Tommy: I'm offended on my own behalf Tommy: almost as cringe as once thinking he was hot 🤓😳 kms Ali: Yeah but it ain't like he's not been here...and she's still a cunt to Ro now, so Ali: Tries to be to me but who's listening, Bitch I'm deaf all of a sudden??? Ali: Hahahahaha Ali: He's attractive, to the point its kinda fact more than opinion so I don't think you're alone on that score Ali: If the notches on his bedpost are anything to go by...and I fucked him so can't be judging, consider your sins absolved, no hail mary's needed, maybe a few bloodys when I next pin u down for an IRL debrief? Ali: Oh wait, a bitch can't...I'll make it a Virgin Mary...WHEY! Tommy: True and I know he ain't got a bitch muted 'cause I aint rn either 👀 & my specs are on when I'm scrolling Tommy: I see what I see Tommy: 😞 Tommy: Fuck it lets go dancing Tommy: bounce that bump while you still can Ali: 'Course not, gotta 'low the bitch to slide into dem dms on the reg, if for nothing else than the ego boost Ali: 😒 Ali: I need that, lets go lets go lets go, its been TIME since I got to go out and not take the bubs Ali: I'll have to see who can have 'em though... Ali: Can't be mum, really selling how responsible a parent I'm gonna be to 3 by throwing 2 at her and fucking off to partay Tommy: SAMSIES...not that I'm going out with 2 kids on the reg but y'know Tommy: we on it 💃 Tommy: Dial up their daddy Tommy: he'll step up while we step out I'm sure Ali: Sure, just the one, like #oosh! toosoonforbants? Ali: Can but try, I'll get back to you when he replies Ali: Ooh, what are we gonna wear Tommy: I've got my elf cossie if I can only squeeze in Tommy: you could pin a red letter on if you've got something that won't clash 🤔 own that guilt like a good catholic 📿 Ali: Ooh, festive AND appropriate for my situ, I like it. Tommy: A for advent sweeties 😘 Tommy: can you cut my hair though I looking like the grinch if he was a blonde blue eyed dreamboat Ali: And Awesome! And Ali! And Ass! 😎 Ali: Obvi, you never could rock the long hair look, remember that dark period in time 😂 Ali: Can I try something slightly new tho? 🤔 Tommy: why the feck not gotta at least look ready to mingle like Tommy: 💔😂 Ali: Dubo not gonna know what's hit it and ya mans gonna know what he missing when I'm done with you! Promise Tommy: I'll hold you to it Tommy: no pressure Tommy: oooh maybe we could go shopping 😀 Ali: You know I'm winning boys back like its my business Ali: well, boy singular but that's enough, right? #greedybisexual Ali: I am always down for killing time snapping up killer #lewks, lets do it man Tommy: yaaaaaaaaaaas Tommy: careful I might hold you to that too #tipsfrommybabysiskms Ali: baby be wise tho 💞 where u at i'll come get u Tommy: about a lot of things yeah 👍 nws I'll come at you I need the exercise #aintforgotyoucalledmeafattylike Ali: alright well, RUN FORREST RUN Tommy: 🏃