#textpostsbymellpen

[mellpenscorner]

Tolkien really said that shying away from deus ex machina was for wimps.

The Hobbit: The dragon has been defeated! But wait a second, now Thorin hates Bilbo and all the good guys are about to fight over the hoard... Hey look! It's goblins! And a giant humanoid bear! And eagles!

Lord of the Rings: Frodo and Sam have gotten to the mountain, but the Ring has taken Frodo, and the armies of Men are being overwhelmed... Hey look! It's Gollum! And Eagles!!

The Silmarillion: Literally Everything is Terrible and Everyone is About to Die....... Hey LOOK! It's the Valar! And Eärendil!! AND WOULDJA LOOK AT THAT IT'S EAGLES!!!

#jirt really did love him some deus ex machina #and eagles #convoswithmoystarushka #textpostsbymellpen #tolkien #lord of the rings #lotr #the hobbit #the silmarillion

[mellpenscorner]

A Ranking of Jane Austen Heroines, in Ascending Order of Culpability

Fanny (Mansfield Park): Has done nothing wrong ever in her life (but would never say this as she is far too humble).

Elinor (S&S): Must have scoliosis from carrying the whole weight of the Dashwood family at the ripe old age of 19. Should probably have asked for help by now, but who's she going to ask? Her mother? Unlikely.

Anne (Persuasion): Pros: is the only functioning member of her family. Cons: took some really bad advice when she was 17.

Elizabeth (P&P): So dead-set on hating Mr. Darcy that she falls hook-line-and-sinker for the lies Wickham tells her with no questions asked. Otherwise has good sense.

Marianne (S&S): Throws herself headlong into the Romantic Experience™️ and gets her heart broken by a playboy when Colonel Brandon is literally RIGHT THERE. 

Catherine (Northanger Abbey): Good-hearted, but easily led astray. So obsessed with Gothic novels that she kind of accuses Mr. Tilney's father of murdering his wife and burying her in the basement.

Emma (Emma): Tells Harriet to refuse the nice guy she likes, too prideful to see that Mr. Elton is pursuing her instead of Harriet, gossips about Jane Fairfax, feels like the rules don't apply to her, won't listen to Mr. Knightly. Is a menace.

#emma is actually my favorite lol #and then eleanor #jane austen #textpostsbymellpen #pride and prejudice #sense and sensibility #mansfield park #northanger abbey #persuasion #emma jane austen #elizabeth bennet #elinor dashwood #marianne dashwood #catherine morland #fanny price #anne elliot #convoswithmoystarushka

[mellpenscorner]

Scrolling through the same seven gifs of your non-canon/kiss-less otp like they'll actually kiss if you just hit the next button one more time.

#zutara #rebelcaptain #winterwidow #faramir x eowyn #hilson #sam wilson x maria hill #sherlolly #shaunty #otp #textpostsbymellpen #fandom #careese

[mellpenscorner]

Jane Austen: and here we have the love interest. He might have some issues, but once you get to know him, he's a great guy. Good looking, heart of gold, the works.

Charlotte Brontë: get ready for the weirdest man you have ever met.

#jane austen #charlotte bronte #jane eyre #pride and prejudice #classic literature #textpostsbymellpen #currently watching #jane eyre 1983 #and oh my gosh this man is bizzare #i've never read any other bronte books but i get the feeling this is kind of a trend with their love interests #i also feel like #mr. rochester #mr. darcy #and #john thornton #should start a club for seemingly broody initially offputting Single Men of Good Fortune In Want of a(nother in rochester's case) Wife #conversations would be unbearably awkward and they would all wish their wives were there with them #margaret hale #elizabeth bennet #and jane eyre would get along splendidly

[mellpenscorner]

I love how for like, half of Two Towers, book!Legolas' job is just Glorified Telescope™️

Aragorn's one "What do your elf eyes see" comment in the movies really doesn't do justice to the number of times someone comes up to Legolas in TTT and goes "hey, you're an elf, can you tell me what's going on like, five miles away?" and he just fricken tells them. Every time.

#lord of the rings #lotr #legolas #legolas greenleaf #what do your elf eyes see #the two towers #tolkien #textpostsbymellpen

[mellpenscorner]

Hollywood seems Determined™️ to give us everything adjacent to a WinterWidow movie without actually giving us a WinterWidow movie.

Here! After waiting 10 years, have a Black Widow movie that elaborates on her history with the Red Room and the people she met there! (But that doesn't mention Bucky at all and erases any hope of WW having an MCU canon past)

Here! Have a spy thriller with Sebastian Stan playing opposite his redheaded love interest where a key plot point is him betraying her! (But the redhead isn't Scarlett and the betrayal is real because he's actually evil and not just brainwashed)

Here! Have a spy rom-com with Chris and Sebastian and ALMOST Scarlett that's wacky and exciting and morbidly funny! (But it's not Scarlett, and she would have been playing opposite Chris anyway)

HERE! Have a spy thriller romance where the protagonists LOSE THEIR MEMORY but REMEMBER EACH OTHER and go on a MISSION TOGETHER to get REVENGE on the EVIL ORGANIZATION THAT SCREWED THEM OVER! DIRECTED BY JOE AND ANTHONY RUSSO.

BUT IT'S NOT

FRICKEN

WINTERWIDOW.

Unbelievable.

#MCU #Marvel #otp #winterwidow #buckynat #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #sebastian stan #scarlett johansson #textpostsbymellpen #black widow 2021 #the 355 #ghosted 2023 #citadelonprime #russo bros #convoswithmoystarushka

[mellpenscorner]

Cute couples costume idea: fell werewolf servant of the Dark Lord and the hideous she-vampyre of Thangorodrim.

#the silmarillion #tolkien #beren and luthien #textpostsbymellpen #convoswithmoystarushka #beren #luthien tinuviel

[mellpenscorner]

Me, seeing any female over the age of like, 14 with her hair down in a period piece: hey you might wanna put your hair up

Me, seeing those 2010s Beach Waves™️ on a 19th century heroine: Put Your Hair Up Please Ma'am

Me, having to ONCE AGAIN look at a fictional Victorian woman with a Pinterest-style "Romantic Half-up Half-down": Madam I must insist that you PUT YOUR HAIR UP RIGHT NOW HOW ARE YOU FUNCTIONING IN SOCIETY

#pet peeve #enola holmes #sanditon #when calls the heart #persuasion 2022 #I'm sure there are others I just can't think of them right now #just yuck #textpostsbymellpen

[mellpenscorner]

I must not engage in the discourse. The discourse is the peace killer. It is the little disturbance that brings total rage. I will face the discourse. I will allow it to pass over me and around me, and when it is gone, I will turn to see that I have not spoken of it. Only my sanity will remain.

#litany against trolls #dune #be the lack of discourse you want to see in the world #convoswithmoystarushka #even now I'm fighting the urge #I will NOT tag this with the discourses I hate #Only my sanity will remain #textpostsbymellpen

[mellpenscorner]

A solution to the last scene in Endgame...

(taken from this longer post of mine)

Instead of an offhand comment and an awkward pat >> Steve and Bucky share a longer hug. Instead of Steve sounding like he’s brushing off Bucky’s feelings >> Bucky is the one who tells Steve “it’s gonna be ok,” reassuring him that he’s fine with Steve’s decision. Instead of Old Man Steve coming back and wrecking the previously stated Time Travel Rules >> Steve goes to return the stones and doesn’t come back at all. Instead of Bucky looking #disappointedbutnotsurprised >> while Bruce and Sam are freaking out, Bucky assures them that this was Steve’s plan. Instead of Bucky not talking to Steve and Steve handing Sam some miraculously un-broken shield >> Bucky pulls Sam aside and presents him with the pieces of the shield that Steve had all those years. Sam offers them back to Bucky, who insists that Steve wanted Sam to have the shield. Instead of us having no idea if Steve even told Bucky what he was going to do >> Sam asks where Steve went, and Bucky smiles and says he got a life. 

We still cut to Steve and Peggy dancing.

#MCU #Marvel #avengers #endgame #avengers endgame #steve rogers #bucky barnes #sam wilson #captain america #alternate ending #convoswithmoystarushka #i actually love endgame #but i admit this scene has issues #textpostsbymellpen

[mellpenscorner]

cardigan is a BuckyNat high-school AU where they're both the loners of the school and they keep meeting each other when they take shelter from people in the same obscure places. Bucky's hiding from his childhood best friend, Steve, who's in the process of figuring out that Bucky's four year stint in another state with his mom's abusive second husband may have changed some things about their friendship. Natasha is hiding from her adoptive dad, a decorated veteran who happens to be the JROTC instructor, and who has been training Natasha to follow in his military footsteps ever since he adopted her at age 6.

#MCU #Marvel #winterwidow #convoswithmoystarushka #buckynat #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #cardigan taylor swift #otp #textpostsbymellpen #mini aus

[mellpenscorner]

I don't know what it is, but I have a strange sympathy for characters who are so obviously Meant to be Bad by content creators. I'm not really talking about straight-up villains (because usually they're morally reprehensible enough that I don't care how "complicated" or attractive they are). I'm talking about the antagonists who are set up as jerks because "oh my gosh they don't agree with the unprecedented, reckless decisions that our maverick hero is making! How can they not see that breaking ALL the established rules is the ONLY WAY???" You know, the characters who are just trying to do their jobs and haven't been given the arc of realization that the hero has. A lot of times they can be genuinely nasty to the hero, but a lot of times the hero has been genuinely nasty to them too, so that isn't anything unique. And I'm not even saying I always support everything these characters do, but I do sympathize, because a lot of the times they're just plot devices meant to be hated and discarded, regardless of how their actions and decisions *actually* compare with the hero's. If you want me to hate a character, give me enough good reasons to do so, and don't be so lazy in your writing that the only difference between the actions of your jerk antagonist and your shining hero are differences of perspective.

#textpostsbymellpen #character thoughts #antagonists #heroes #this is going to be controversial but #john walker #tfatws #seriously guys #I'm not saying I defend all his actions #but take a look at his circumstances and compare them to literally everyone else's in the show #he's the writer's punching bag #like that kid you bully until he snaps and then you report to the principal for punching you in the face #like no he shouldn't have done that #but you aren't off the hook either

[mellpenscorner]

The depth of emotion this one picture stirs in me is incredible. There is all the pain and shame and redemption and tragedy of Boromir's death of course, but then there's also the painful knowledge that this type of pure intimacy is not available for men, or even women in our society right now.

This kiss is a sign of brotherhood, respect, and a deep love that—if expressed in this way today—would be misconstrued as some cheap perversion of the true love that's supposed to be between a man and a woman.

So looking at this, I have the joy of seeing the beauty of this expression, but it's tainted by the knowledge of what so many people twist it to be.

#lord of the rings #lotr #boromir #aragorn #tolkien #convoswithmoystarushka #platonic love #textpostsbymellpen #a great campaign of sabotage

[mellpenscorner]

Spotify LotR audiobook thoughts 4/?

Hot take: book!Merry is the true mom friend of the Hobbits. Sam is protective of Frodo, but Merry’s the one who’s looking at maps and worrying about where they’ll go next and talking with Strider about what they should do. Not to mention he was the one that spearheaded the whole conspiracy to keep Frodo from going alone. I always knew I liked book!Merry.

#spotify lotr audiobook thoughts #spotify lotr audiobook #a conspiracy unmasked #a knife in the dark #flight to the ford #lord of the rings #fellowship of the ring #textpostsbymellpen #convoswithmoystarushka #book!merry #merry lotr

[mellpenscorner]

Spotify LotR audiobook thoughts 2/?

The sheer absurdity of Tom Bombadil’s whole character never quite struck me until listening to it on audiobook.

*pitch meeting voice*

“So then they meet this guy named TOM BOMBADIL”

“Oh yeah? What’s his deal?”

“Oh he’s fricken NUTS sir! He sings nonsense and shows up just in time to keep Merry and Pippin from getting eaten by the evil sentient tree. Then he invites the Hobbits to his house and they find out that he’s an ageless being who isn’t affected by the Ring at ALL!”

“Oh wowwowwowwow. Wow. So do they ask him to join their quest? I mean, he must turn into a pretty important character if he can control the Ring.”

“Oh no, they leave him after two chapters and never talk to him again.”

“... What?”

#spotify lotr audiobook thoughts #lord of the rings #fellowship of the ring #the old forest #in the house of tom bombadil #fog on the barrow downs #convoswithmoystarushka #spotify lotr audiobook #textpostsbymellpen #pitch meeting

[mellpenscorner]

Bed always seems farther from the couch at 1am

But we can make it there. Your tomorrow self thanks you.

#go to bed #selfcare #good habits #just do it #textpostsbymellpen