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Lucid dreaming is the closest thing we can do to breaking the forth wall in real life (source)

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NEW Daily Mittens: The Plant Edition

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Square dancing is an absolutely absurd thing to teach in High school (source)

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People who don’t believe we landed on the moon have shown that it’s truly impossible to definitively prove anything (source)

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Ballistic missile is phonetically the same as ball-less dick missile and missiles are shaped like ball-less dicks (source)

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@cigarette-tainted-death

[Text to: Boo 👻] I’m crying in a traerd joe’s because there was a pineaplpe with half of its pointy greeny bits folded ovenr and it reminded me of your hair. 🥺

[Text to: Boo 👻] I miss you so muuuuuuch

[Text to: Boo 👻]

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The further you travel into the past, the more likely it is to kill an ancestor of yours. (source)

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Statistically speaking Darth Vader choked enough of his employees that at least one of them liked it (source)

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If your hard drive dies, and you only have one backup copy, you no longer have a backup. (source)

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We went from people getting really annoyed if you touched a screen to almost all screens being touchscreens. (source)

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[TXT MSG]: WHAT?!

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Pinochio could’ve convinced everyone that his nose grows when he tells the truth (source)

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I don’t want home to be a place

I don’t want home to be other people

I want home to be me 

Not because I’m self suficient 

Not because I don’t need anyone 

Not because I believe I could go through this life without people having my back 

But because my body is my temple

And my mind is the only place I’ll ever be 

And I’ve been spending the last 24 years trying to make a good deal out of myself 

If I’m not my own home, I don’t think I’ll feel home anywhere else.

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Our entire stereotypical picture of a teenager whould probably be completely different if they just got more sleep. (source)

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The fact that giving birth to babies hurts is undeniable proof that LIFE IS PAIN (source)

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