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#tf2 snakewater
theyuanman · 1 year
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The crocodile update
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terraxart · 8 months
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Just a man and his seal
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coffee-bat · 11 months
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the snakewater experience
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128-mega · 2 years
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The snake from snakewater real
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pilotl1ght · 1 year
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the 4/20 nightmare blunt rotation
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superserpentsmackdown · 11 months
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littleguysdaily · 1 year
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Can you do the snake from the TF2 Snakewater map?
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lastchancestardomm · 6 months
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A Real Family
Mercenaries x Teen!Reader
Word Count - 2.5K
Warnings: Child Abuse. Swearing. Fluffy Found-Family Mercenaries. OC-insert. Written accents.
Status - Not Beta Read
A/N: Remember that post I made about the Mercs bullying Teufort citizens? That's how long this big boy was cooking. This is my brain slop served on a silver platter for all to see. This isn't a reader insert, just my 16-year-old TF2 oc Ana Ivanova (who was pushed out of a helicopter into Snakewater but shhh we don't talk about that). The translations for the Estonian words are in the replies of this post. As for Ana's lore this is just the tip of the iceberg lol.
The cool Estonian air poured into the room like a wave lapping on the shore of a beach. So sudden, yet so common. Ana flipped over in her bed, the créme-colored, thin fleece blankets hand-knitted by her late mother wrapped around her. Ana squinted through the dark, and saw the silhouette of her sister's grinning face in her doorway.
"Hei, sister! Today, it's your turn to help me string the nets and catch us some breakfast!! C'mon, get up and put on a smile, unekott!" Maria chimed, her voice falsely inviting.
Ana's stomach grumbled under her blankets at the mention of breakfast. Last night, Maria sent her to bed with no dinner because she gave her lip. Ana leaned up on her elbows, back popping as she squinted up at her smarmy sister. Maria rushed her, like a cat pouncing on its prey, her hands gripping Ana's arms, and Maria hauled Ana out of her safe and comfy bed.
"Hei! Mida-"
"Ei! No cuss words," Maria sternly reminded her, hooking arms with Ana and dragging her from her bedroom to the kitchen.
The two siblings skipped down the hall, as the oldest of them was in the kitchen brewing some hot tea. Little Olev was cradled in his arms, wrapped in another white fleece blanket that was hand-knitted by their mother.
"Tere, Alex!" Maria said in a sing-song voice, greeting her older brother.
She sighed. "Tere, Aleksander– tere, little Olev," Ana hastily greeted. Maria whacked the back of her head. Ana made a groan, as her brother's sweet-as-honey smile faltered slightly.
Maria kissed the top of Ana's head to ease Aleksander, and she skipped over to kiss her older brother on the cheek, as her littlest sibling made a tired noise of distaste. Twirling playfully, she yoinked a black, furry coat off the coat rack and began buttoning it. Ana simply stared at her display.
"Mida? You're fourteen, you can get the coat yourself. Now, hurry! Before I do it all and you'll get nothing to eat!" Maria benignly threatened in her sisterly voice. Ana flinched when Maria's hand raised to exaggerate the "nothing to eat".
Ana nearly tripped over her socked feet; drunkenly stumbling to the coat rack to grab the slick maroon coat. The soft, rabbit fur lining slipped over Ana's lanky arms. The shiny zipper cocooned Ana in her coat, and throwing on her boots she grabbed the ice drill and a cup of bait on the key stand. Maria smiled at Ana and pat her on the back, Ana recoiling from the action.
The sisters rushed outside into the snowy Estonian grass. It was near ethereal. The sky was silver, as frost twinkled on every blade of grass. Powder snow rained down like it always did in the morning, and Ana sped out after her sister for the frozen lake.
Stepping onto the ice, and seeing the imprint of her boots on the thin sheet of snow covering the lake, Ana smiled. Maria did a whistle for Ana to come near, and she stomped on a soft part of the ice where all the small fish were. It was never a lot, but it was enough to feed the four of them.
Ana set the drill down onto the heart of the crack Maria made by stomping on the ice, and slowly rotated the drill-tip in her hands. The ice was already pretty thin, so when Ana pressed the side button meant to punch a hole in the ice, she accidentally dropped the drill into the cold water.
"Mida kuradit?!" Maria screamed at her. That drill was hand-made by Aleksander and their father, back when Maria was little. Her papa always held the family drill in high value, and so Maria did too. To lose the drill felt like losing a 10,000 quid lottery.
"Ma- vabandust!" Ana pleaded. Maria grabbed Ana's dirty blonde hair, teeth gritted in contempt. Maria yanked on Ana's hair firmly, to twist her away; and Ana fumbled on her feet when she was spun, so she slipped and fell face-first onto the ice.
Maria fell with her, but she caught herself on her knees. Ana was laid out on the ice like a dead body, as her older sister glared down at her with empty eyes of hate. Ana's neck craned back, and her face was bashed against the ice.
Again and again, Maria continued to pound Ana's face into the ice 'till she bled. Her eyes were filling with blood from cuts on her forehead– her sister fading into the red, blurry void.
Eventually, the ice broke; Ana's face heading into the water below. She screamed, bubbles of air gurgling out of her mouth. Her head flew up, freed, and she was flashed with sunlight. Her achy arms lifted her up on silky, gray-brown sand. The sky was a gentle blue, and calm waters tickled her wrists. The rocky outcrops were rounded, warm, and soothing.
At least until the screaming came. Men, screaming. Explosions turned the once-gentle sky orange, and all the white puffy clouds in it dispersed into black smoke. A bullet bounced off a rock beside her, chipping it and turning it jagged. Then. The worst part of it all. Had to be Maria's laughter. It came from the loudspeakers. It made Ana's ears ring. Maria's fucking cackling.
Ana's hands rushed to cup her ears; to make the vexatious, awful laughter go away. It was deafening, and made Ana's head pound. She screamed, and she screamed and she screamed to make it go away.
As she screamed for Maria's stupid laughing to go away, people calling her name emerged, and it got louder and louder with the laughter too. "Ana! Ana! Ana!" it was like a bunch of different voices were speaking all at once. Her eyes squeezed shut against her will. This didn't feel nice. Make it stop. Make it quiet. Shut up. Stop it.
"Stop." she sorely, and quietly mustered at first. But the voices kept coming. "Stop!" she demanded, eyes now open and pouring unshed tears. But the voices continued to get more anxious. "Stop it!" she screamed. But they kept coming.
"STOP!"
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Ana's eyes fluttered open, and she wasn't on the hellish battlefield anymore; rather, on a couch. A red couch. A man in a white doctor's coat was level with her, on his knees; his icy blue eyes locked with Ana's turquoise ones.
A breathy, Estonian "Ah?" lazily left her lips in a yawn.
The hands on Ana's face were not hers, trying to block out the laughs; but rather the man's, whose soft thumbs were wiping away tears. Her world seemed fuzzy, but slowly, she could make up the words flying around her.
"Ana? Mein Kind, vake up," Medic was saying. An expression of worry was worn on his face. Others were also trying to coax her awake. She felt herself trembling on the couch, now aware of someone's arm wrapped around her.
"Medic?" Ana asked quietly. He nodded, and Soldier and Pyro were now shushing the others. "Mis juhtus?" she asked looking around, accidentally slipping into her mother-tongue.
"Jou fell asleep betveen Heavy und I," Medic started, the arm around Ana belonging to Heavy. The large Russian was looking down at her, his worry also evident. "Jou started vhimpering und tvitching. Vhen jou started crying ve all tried vaking jou up," Ana was suddenly aware of all the eyes on her; every Merc staring her down with a concerned look.
"It was just a nightmare, I'm fine, really!" Ana said, trying to nonchalantly shrug it off. A shaky breath trailed her words.
"Kiddo, no one should be actin' like dat when sleepin'," Scout stated.
"Oui, Scout is right. What was zhe dream about, chérie?" Spy asked from his spot next to Sniper.
She shook her head, "It doesn't matter, I'm fine now," Ana said, attempting to reassure them. It seemed to only worsen their state, though. Medic took Ana's hands, holding them, opening his mouth to begin to speak when Engineer cut him off.
"Yah weren't dreamin' 'bout her again, were yah?" he asked. Ana's eyes guiltily fell to her hands, an obvious yes.
"Roo, yah left that sheila behind the day yuh fell into Snakewater," Sniper said, sighing. His head dipped low, solemnly, but he straightened back up when Ana spoke.
"My brother... he didn't even try to look for me," she said, feeling the salty tears drip down her face once more. "He didn't even try."
"Ana." Heavy stated suddenly. "Look at Heavy vhen he iz talking to you." She did as he told, meeting his eyes. Heavy's grip on her tightened. "It iz better dat he did not." he said. "You are happy vis us, да? Happier than you ever been?" Ana nodded at all his questions, taking her hand from Medic's to wipe away still-wet tears. "You should not care about her."
"She treated yah like crap! She was messin' with yer family so she could hurt yah wit'out no one questionin' it! Now tha' is no way tuh live," interjected Demoman, shaking his fist. Soldier patted Demo on the shoulder in agreement.
"Ana?" Scout, almost somberly, asked. Ana looked over at him; he was holding his hat in his hands, and his headset was around his neck with his short brown hair ruffled. "Did... did any of 'em evah tell yah dat they loved yah?" When she shook her head, a no, the temperature in the room seemed to increase.
Their combined anger could've rivaled Ana's late father. A lot of them were muttering curses under their breath. "But none of them needed to! Alex kept the roof over my head and Maria was keeping food on my plate; it was all just peachy!" Ana was shushed by Heavy.
"Ana. Zhose are her words, not yours," Spy said. "Zhat is not love. Zhat is what caretakers legally 'ave to do for you in this country,"
Ana frowned. "But Maria always told me-"
"Ana! She had lied to you about a lot of things!" Soldier said suddenly. "Hudda hudda!" Pyro added, probably agreeing with Soldier.
"Ana, listen to me." Medic said, drawing her eyes back to him. "Jour birzh parents, siblings, whoever- vill never love jou as much as ve do. Zhey do not compare to us; zhat may sound narcissistic, but it is true,"
Ana nearly froze. "You guys... love me?" It was a genuine question.
"I mean, yah kinda fell from the sky and took a tumble on 'dem rocks in Snakewatah, so Doc hadda heal yah, and we all wanted to keep yah at that point," Scout said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Ve had to fight the Miss Pauling to keep you," Heavy added.
"Aye! Even after that we had to fight The Administrator!" Demoman chimed in.
"Darlin', we gave yah somethin' yer old parents never could." Engineer said. Ana rose her brow and he smiled at her. "A real family,"
"We love yah more than anythin' kiddo," Scout said.
"We'll foight for yah, even if that means we lose our jobs; yer way more important," Sniper stated, grinning. Though his grin was lost when Ana suddenly burst into tears.
"What is the matter, Cadet?" Soldier asked frantically.
Ana covered her face with her hands, attempting to wipe away the tsunami of warm tears dribbling down her face. Don't cry, please. "I- I'm just so happy!" she cried. "No one's ever- ever loved me before! Aitäh, aitäh!"
Medic sighed, a small grin on his lips. "Ana, I know, I fell in love zhe second I saw jou," he shrugged, "Even zhough jour head vas bleeding." Medic covered a part of his mouth with his hand, leaning closer to Ana. "But I know jou love me zhe most," he whispered, though he made sure the others could hear it.
"Now hold on a moment, tha's not true. Ana loves me the most," Demoman said, earning a shove from Soldier.
"Both of you are lying! We all know who Ana's favorite is and that's-"
"Me!" Before she knew it, Ana was swept up in Demoman's arms. He hugged her tightly as he kissed her cheek. Then Scout snatched her from him, holding her in almost a headlock by his waist; ruffling her hair as he "hugged" her.
"I want to hold Ana!" Soldier argued, grabbing her from Scout and hugging her to his body with only one arm, like she was a teddy bear.
Ana was used to this, surprisingly. She got a lot of amusement from this human tug-of-war. "Guys, there's plenty of me to go around," she joked, grinning.
"Yes, well now you are mine, and only mine," Soldier stated.
"Ohoho, is zhat a challenge?" Medic asked (more like teased), smirking. He grabbed Ana, engulfing her in a hug, and peppering the top of her head in small kisses. Heavy stood in front of Medic, effortlessly grabbing and holding Ana with one arm, and holding Medic back with the other.
"Aye! I had Ana first!" Demoman whined, trying to grab her back. With Heavy distracted, Pyro cut through the fray and grabbed Ana; sending Demo to the floor with a thud! as the Scotsman's weight slammed against the ground. Pyro held onto Ana as they spun her in a circle gleefully.
Spy got a hold of her next, but before he could vanish with Ana in tow, Sniper grabbed him. His left arm wrapped tightly around Spy's neck, while his right arm was draped over Ana's shoulders. Sniper slyly grinned up at the Frenchie.
"Let go of me Bushman!" Spy snapped, nearly elbowing Sniper in the throat.
Sniper chuckled and did as told, but he kept his grip on Ana. That left Engineer, who stood in front of Sniper with his arms crossed. "Wot are yah gonna do, shorty?" Sniper teased.
Engineer quirked a brow, flashed his wrench on his belt, and smirked up at Sniper. The kiwi gave off a nervous chuckle, politely shifting Ana to Engineer. Engineer looked around at the other men. And Pyro, who seemed to be getting closer to him, "Now fellas, why don't we just let Ana tell us who her favorite mercenary really is?"
"But I can't choose, I guess you're going to have to keep trying to win me over," she joked, grinning slyly from ear-to-ear.
"Well that'll be easy, I'm already winnin'!" Scout boasted.
"In your dreams, maggot!" Soldier retorted.
"Now look what'cha started Ana. We got a whole war startin' 'cause you're so damn lovable," Engineer said, laughing as the bickering began to grow. "Imma just start walkin' away, we both know Ah'm your real favorite anyway," he joked, turning on his heel and starting to walk back to his workshop.
"Vhere do jou zhink jou are going, Engi?" Medic called, the others now noticing him leaving, too. Next thing Ana knew, she was the one running. After all, she had nine mercenaries all trying to smother her with affection and attempting to become her favorite.
She was loving it though. How they were trying to show her how much they really loved and cared for her. This was something other than a competition between them. And as Ana was in her room, giggling up a storm as she heard the Mercs all playfully calling out her name like it was a game of Marco-Polo, she knew that Engineer was right; this was a real family.
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chemicahs · 5 months
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Just had the longest tf2 game of my entire LIFE. 2.5 hours on snakewater and 1.5 of those hours was the FIRST ROUND. everyone was laughing about it the whole game. I was medic and got autoed halfway so I knew everyone on both teams so intimately. Everyone was exhausted but fought so hard because it was funny
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i-drew-artz · 9 months
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POLLS!! OPEN!! GRAAAHHHHH!!! SYMMETRIC CONTROL POINT POLL:
To Summarise, i am writing a longrunning TF2 Fanfiction series. Each chapter will be a slice of life scenario taking place outside of the mercs battle duties in a different location.
Top 2 most voted-for maps will make it into the fic's first 12 chapters, the 3 runner up maps will be in the next batch of votes later down the line, and the rest will be unconsidered unless highly suggested or i personally like the map enough to have it put in the polls again.
(Coldfront was suggested when i first presented the idea, so its happening by default. Summer Maps later down the line)
VOTE NOW! IF YOU LIKE TF2 AND FANFIC N ALL THAT I APPRECH UR VOTES AND EVERY SINGLE ONE COUNTS! YUMMY VOTES!! GIMMME UR VOTES! GRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Epic Map Images:
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domaindiver · 7 months
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i wasplaying tf2 yesterday and I think personally that there needs to be more animals that just fuck around. i am immensely disappointed by snakewater specifically because the snakes are almost completely un viewable and they don't move and they're outside of the map bro LET THEM OUT!! I think we need to make snakewater 2. snakewater 2 is a capture the point map where you go to the point in the middle but it is completely enveloped in water. the snakes are in the water but they're chillin, they don't do anything except attack people using weapons that have an advantage underwater. if you're a pyroshock (pyroshark??) fuck you! they are going to eat you alive! it is a wild race to see if you can a) capture the point without drowning b) kill as many people with your water advantage weapon before you get mauled by snakes as an added bonus there are rivers that snake (haha) out across the map so if you want to fuck off and chill with the snakes you absolutely can. this map is not optimized for fun combat it is specifically so you can go to a river that shields you from sniperbots. heres my weapon pitch.
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fluffytimearts · 1 year
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how many hours do you have in tf2?
what's your favorite class to play?
favorite map, and why is it?
when did you start playing tf2?
Since it's been a while since I played TF2 (and realized tf2 has comics and started reading them a few months ago) I haven't played yet so I'll answer the three out of four questions.
My favorite class would be offensive team.
Snakewater, looks neat and relaxing.
When I first played? I think 2016-2017.. somewhere around that ? That's when I still had my steam account. I'll probably make a new one.
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coffee-bat · 2 years
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i'll be real i'm shit at control points but god i NEED to see the snakes
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a-frickin-dragon · 3 years
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infoplayerstart · 3 years
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TF2 UPDATE WE GOT SNAKES BABY!!!
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manhunter4art · 3 years
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A short comic regarding my thoughts on yesterday’s tf2 update :)
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