This is not a request. I am in the period of my university exams and my writing time is short. Don't worry, as soon as I'm done there will be a few requests for Twisted Wonderland, Genshin Impact and Tokyo Ghoul (but this time Itori) on the way 🌸. This is just something written without obligation in my study breaks, to relax.
Thanks to precious @andiplz, however, that gave me some very stimulating ideas of inspiration! Hope that you can appreciate it! 💕
So here's some introspective soft angst/ comfort/fluff with Uta
71- Uta x human!Reader
His head spins a bit after the tentacles have retreated inside. It happens when he finds himself having to manifest his kakuja, his body is not so used to doing it, and sometimes switching quickly from one state to another stuns him.
It's not something that has ever scared Uta, he knows how to handle it perfectly.
With his eyes closed he recomposes himself, while his body returns to his usual appearance.
He calls your name, aware of your presence. There will be talk, he imagines. That's right, they say, even if he'd gladly skip that part, but he owes you.
He calls you again, reassuring, but you don't answer him.
You're there, he knows you're there, but when he opens his eyes he doesn't see you anywhere. He looks for you in that unreal darkness, forcing himself not to lose his calm.
You didn't run away, he knows you're there. He feels you. He feels your smell, he feels your taste.
The realization strikes him like a summer lightning.
Your taste is so present, so intense on his tongue.
But it can't be, right? He doesn't remember doing it, he doesn't remember losing control. When does he ever need to lose control?
He repeats your name, but this time his calm is cracked by anguish.
He is afraid of what he feels, of every perception he has, and he would like to go out of himself so as not to feel what is evident in him.
Did he really devour you? Without leaving even a trace of you?
"Where are you?" He asks you.
But before anyone can answer him his eyes open to the ceiling of the room.
Uta makes no noise other than a heavy sigh.
In his ears there is the silence of an empty room and the noises of the hectic Tokyo morning, just a little further away.
Sitting up on the bed he looks for you next to him, but you are not there. His fingers touch the empty spot on the mattress looking for you, as if you might be hiding somewhere in the folds of the sheets.
It is only when a rumble rises from the shop below and your voice swears, that the hand that unconsciously gripped the tank top on his chest relaxes.
With a sigh, Uta abandons himself again on the mattress, forcing his heart to calm down and resume its regular beating.
It was just a dream, he allows himself to admit.
Uta has never fought against his nature, nor has he ever questioned it. All that has always troubled him was the inability of the world to accept him, at least until he has met you.
When you saw him in kakuja form, he had thought that it was something normal and right, yet from that day on, thoughts unrelated to him crept disturbingly into his mind. Had he scared you too much? Had he hurt you? Were you afraid of him now? Did you always have that anguished air when he came up behind you without you noticing?
A second dragging noise finally makes him decide to get up. He doesn't bother to change his clothes, the shop isn't open at that time of the morning and then somehow his priority now is really finding out where you are - you're out there, aren't you? -
Going down the stairs he does not meet your figure, but your presence makes itself heard inside the supply cabinet.
On his work table, a cup of coffee is accompanied by a bowl of human eyes, for him.
Since you have been there he has begun to accept your human way of managing meals, it is your way of taking care of him. You have even come to handle human flesh to take care of him, you have come to bow your head before your state of being human for him.
A roll of fabric slips out of the wardrobe doors yielding to the floor with a light thud, followed by your annoyed snort.
Your head peeks out of the door as you bend down to pick up the object.
"Oh ..." you gasp barely at the sight of him "good morning!"
You smile at him, and he wonders how you keep your smile so intact. Is it a mask or a truth? He has always been good at reading you, but lately he has more and more doubts about it.
"Good morning" His voice is peaceful as his hands hide in the pockets of the baggy pants he wears "why are you up so early?"
Your concentration returns to the material of the wardrobe as you try to balance several rolls of various fabrics: "Last night you were up late checking supplies, I thought I'd finish the job for you ... the coffee is become cold, however, will I warm it up? "
You are always so loving with the monster.
"No, no need ... thank you."
You take so much care of him, but what does he give you in return but fear and death?
Between his fingers a green eye stares at it and judges it, and even after it has disappeared into his mouth, it is still judging it.
Uta watches you work, finishing arranging the last materials on the shelves. He always told himself that it was your duty to accept him, now that you were with him, and that there would never be problems if you saw that side of him too. But slowly, in those days he was coming to a different conclusion.
You didn't deserve to see that side of him. He should never have shown you, he should never have played with you.
Not after all it costs you.
"I would love to ... see you cook for me, or go out to eat every now and then."
Anyone would be surprised by those words of him, one would have to wonder if he is okay, if he has a fever, if something has happened to him, but you don't. You're not surprised, you don't look like it at all.
When you approach him, all you do is face him with a smile.
"Oh yes? But we don't need it. " Your voice is calm, it is not agitated or worried. What have you been trying to tell me for some time?"
The words he needs to say frighten him. They're scary, because he never thought about them before you did, he never really had any doubts.
But after you arrived, his world became yours too, and suddenly a sneaky underhanded hypothesis started to make its way, until it became an unconscious certainty.
Maybe, it wasn't the world that was wrong, but it was he who was wrong. Perhaps Uta has always been the discordant note of reality.
I'm sorry to be like that.
"You know ... just last night I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you." Your voice comes before him, sparing him "Some of my friends have doubts about their relationship, they are not sure they still want each other, they always have constant doubts about them, and they look elsewhere. I, on the other hand, with you, I never have doubts. Not even when we fight, even when things are not going well, I don't want anyone but you. "
Uta understands your point, he understands what you say to him, yet something is still not enough for him, because for once he feels himself a sinner.
"It's not the same as what you have to face."
When you look for his eyes you can't find them. The red irises are surrendered, lowered to the eyeballs next to you.
I'm sorry to be like that.
"You're wrong, it's the same thing." You whispers, following his gaze “These are compromises between the two of us. There are always trade-offs, there would be even if we were both human or both ghouls, they would just be different. These are the ones we have chosen, to be together, and I am happy to have chosen you. "
Finally your eyes meet again, and one tries to enter those of the other, to read his emotions and his thoughts.
For once - but perhaps not just one - Uta realizes that you have always read inside him from the beginning, more than he can do with you, as he was convinced.
"Do you think what I do is enough?" He asks you gently, with the same tranquility of a sea breeze, the awareness of an adult and the spontaneity of a child.
“Well, you're not eating me! It seems to me that you do more than enough! "
You finally made him laugh again, light and subtle as ever.
"But you are a strong temptation."
“Here, this is an excellent compromise. You don't eat me, and I'll rearrange your supplies in return. "
"I don't know, I'm not sure." He jokes.
You see him barely sigh as his hands reach out to take yours. It seems that he has lifted a weight while he brings your palms to rest at the height of his heart, holding them there, while his eyes close, finally trying to make peace with his dream.
You are safe, he keeps you safe, and you are aware of it.
"What are you doing Uta?"
He doesn't look at you, he stays still, but his hand tightens yours against him.
"Haven't I ever told you? Your hands on my chest reassure me. "
He hears you holding your breath, hears you giggle and hears you approach. He doesn't need to open his eyes again to bend down and allow you to brush the tip of his nose with yours, seeking his attention.
Your whisper is light, but it's enough for him, at least to chase away his nightmares: "Thank you for being like that."
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