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#tgt amicus curiae
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TGT as quotes from other Door Monster Videos
Noam: I have a good feeling about this one! There’s only so many ways a rocket can explode... before taking off
Scott: Not having a table is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy 
Katie: I’m not in it for the cash, just for the fame. Take that haters.
Emma: Alright peasant. You are going to give me all the information I need and nothing else. No humorous an I’m anecdotes, no monologues I can’t skip through, and no side quests.
Meyer: Go round the block? You know what will happen if I go round the block? The economy will plummet! Stocks will drop! Jobs will be lost!
Richie: The blaze will start small, deterring your attempts to locate the source until it rages out of control. You will immediately regret your decision to prank call the fire department as they will not come to your aid.
Messier: Death isn’t real and I’m basically god.
Amicus: Whether she’s angry or bored, this probably ends in your death
Artemis: I am SO RICH
News anchor: Breaking news! Everything is fine
Lincoln: All I’m saying is that if we need money, I got it covered. So just ask
Paul: I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know where I am.
Sylvia: My painful over ambition started early
Jenny: I don’t know why I’m dealing with this. I don’t get paid by the hour
Tedd: My feeble mind is fine, thank you very much 
Shawn: He’s an unremarkable hero in a world of insanity 
Harold: *proudly* I took a Spanish class in high school!
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The Guards Themselves as John Mulaney
Noam: I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.
Scott: It is a 100 percent easier not to do things than to do them. And so much fun not to do them- especially when you were supposed to do them. In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
Lincoln: I quit drinking because I used to drink too much and then I would black out and I would “ruin parties”… or so I’m told.
Richie: You know how I’m filled with rage?
Messier: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you.
Katie: I yelled “fuck da police!”
Paul: What? Huh? What? HUH? WHAT? When?! What?!
Garrett Meyer: It’s like walking around with someone who is running for mayor of nothing.
Artemis Cossling: *chugs entire bottle* It’s perfume
Sylvia Crowe: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die
Tedd Gunn: He grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled “scatter!”
Jenny: No one cared what I thought
Amicus: I’m new in town and it gets worse.
Emma: Shut up! You’re all gonna die. Street smarts!
Just all of it: This is an on fire garbage can
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*Noam is sitting outside the bunker*
Amicus: Should I ask?
Noam: I’m locked out, and trying to get Scott to let me in. 
Noam: First I tried his cell phone. Then, I tried IRC, but he’s not online.
Noam: I couldn’t find anything to throw at his window, so I ssh’d into the Mac Mini in the living room and got the speech synth to yell to him for me.
Noam: But I think I left the volume way down, so I’m reading the OS X Docs to learn to set the volume via command line.
Amicus: Ah… I take it the doorbell doesn’t work.
Noam:…
Amicus:…
Noam: I’m an idiot.
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The Guards Themselves as crap my friends have said
Noam: We should genetically modify our bones to be hollow 
Scott: Hair should not be chunky
Lincoln: Sitting is just standing but sitting
Richie: “Which do you like more? Skittles or flaying?
Messier: Oh good! Another thing to shoot!
Katie: *in response to their significant other saying they love them for the first time* ditto
Paul: I don’t think getting attacked by a bear would hurt
Garret Meyer: I’ve already accepted I’m going to hell. At this point I’m just hoping that whatever circle I end up in keeps my feet warm
Artemis Cossling: I’m dying at the hands of aesthetics
Sylvia Crowe: Now is not the time for jazz hands!
Tedd Gunn: If people aren’t smoking weed at my funeral, I will be very disappointed
Jenny: The future is meaningless but the pasta is now
Amicus Curie: But when the relationship is going good, that’s when the swords come out
Emma: In this essay I will *screams*
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Paul: *Is crying in one of the bathroom stalls*
Amicus: Can we all calm down for five minutes?
Katie, through a mouth full of chips: Check out this meme
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Lincoln: I used to think correlation implied causation. Then I took a statistics class. Now I don’t.
Amicus: Sounds like the class helped.
Lincoln: Well, maybe.
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Katie: Amicus is so cute.
Noam: Um, she just beat that guard into a pulp.
Katie: I said cute, not harmless.
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Lincoln: You can’t do that! That’s like cyber stalking but in real life!
Amicus: So, like, stalking?
Lincoln: …
Lincoln: Oh god, you’re right!
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Amicus: What’s it like, living with Messier?
Noam: Every time he goes out, he leaves a note saying “Gone crazy, Back later”
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Amicus: Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Paul: You told me to Satanize the house.
Amicus:
Amicus: I said sanitize.
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Messier: Not to worry, I’ve got a few knives up my sleeves.
Amicus: You mean tricks.
Paul: He does not.
Noam: He does not.
Messier, pulling a knife out of his sleeve: I did not.
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Amicus: Sorry I’m late, I broke down on the way.
Paul: Oh, is your car fixed now?
Amicus: Car?
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Scott: Past tense of Willian Shakespeare? William Shookspeare.
Lincoln: Wouldiwas Shookspeared.
Amicus: I am giving you two ten seconds to run
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Paul: Listen, sidekick-
Amicus: Please call me Amicus.
Paul: I’d rather not. If I named you, I could get attached.
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Amicus, hoarsely: I think I’m losing my voice.
Lincoln: Ha! That means you can’t yell at us anymore!
Later that day
Lincoln: Turns out, Amicus is scarier when she’s quiet.
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Amicus: I’ve started seeing someone.
Paul: As in dating?
Paul: Or as in hallucinations?
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