#thank goodness my parents convinced me to withdraw my acceptance to the private school

[lovereturns]

i dont wanna sound ungrateful, but why did my parents have to immigrate to america?

#i know their homeland at the time wasn't safe and was in shambles due to the war and i understand how hard they worked to build a life here #BUT WHY #this whole thing with college loans and no free healthcare for basic needs is making me REALLY not want to stick around to experience it #and it would be cool to move to a different country but im not the type of person who can just DO that to my parents? #i dont want to think about it but i saw the tiktok about the lady paying $100k+ for her $80k loan and has $76k left to pay #and im reaaaaaally not feeling it #thank goodness my parents convinced me to withdraw my acceptance to the private school #but my other options arent the greatest either and im just #i dont want it #i dont want to think about it but i have to think about it and LITERALLY IVE BEEN STRESSED ABOUT THIS SINCE LAST OCTOBER I DONT #WANT TO FEEL STRESSED ANYMORE #i really wish i made the most of my hs experience bc then at least i would have something nice to reminicse on bc rn #everything feels shitty and it doesnt seem like it's gonna look up #(im just venting!! tbh im okay i just needed to get this off my chest. i dont like feeling his pessimistic but my 3 round of college #applications are coming up and i really dont want to go through this again) #(i sound so privileged rn and im sorry but i really needed to vent) #(WHAT SUCKS IS THAT I EVEN FEEL LIKE I FEEL PRIVILEGED? been reflecting and idk if im lucky or acually privleged and idk if ANY of my #experiences are valid i dont feel valid i just wanna be a mass in the void and float off into space) #why wont my thoughts just DIE #let me be a dust particle in my next life