#thank you for letting me expose myself marley

[nomenomens]

Nomen

Chapter XVIII - Avalanche

CW: none here, but please, consult the 'About Nomen' section for more informations

WC: around 2400 words

Previous Chapter : XVII - Against All Odds

Next Chapter : XIX - Wrecked

Masterlist

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March 30, Wednesday, 16:02 (present time)

The Survey Corps’s members were all displayed before me in a straight line attached to the gate of the villa where they were staying. I couldn’t read their expression and I had no idea about what to expect, so I just stood there, with Sebastian at my left and my dog, Ted, at my right. Ted sensed my nervousness and tried to get my attention by pushing his snout on my leg, I looked at him and leaned to pat him on his head to signal him to stay calm. I was nervous, he sensed that correctly, but I needed to concentrate. I moved my eyes locking the gaze with every single one of them before getting to the Commander’s one. Her band above the eye she lost in battle never once captured my attention more than the one she had left. In her look I saw something familiar and only now, when there was a possibility that it would be the last time we met, I realized who she reminded me of. I was about to break the silence but Hange spoke for me. 

“We thought a lot about what happened and valued our options and we all agreed on something: we won’t let Eren get in even more trouble in Marley by exposing him or going to search for him and rise suspicion. He was reckless and has successfully forced our hands into trusting him and…you.”

“That means…you’ll stay here?”

“Yes. We don’t have much of a choice to be honest, especially since he will write to you when he will sort things out.”

I felt relieved and terrified at the same moment. I had to force myself to stop from thanking them for staying: I was hoping they would stay but now I was realizing that I had no idea of what they could’ve asked of me. Maybe I hadn’t planned it through, but I wanted to help them and humanity and change some parts of that possible future I had read in their files. A smile instinctively appeared on my face and my free hand tried to cover it, a worthless attempt to appear less affected by their decision. I lowered my head, as a sign of courtesy and shyness altogether and replied back to the Commander. 

“Yes, I know. He put you in a tough spot. In any case, I had already told you that I’m also interested in giving you all the diplomatic or technologic help you’ll need and for that, you can contact Sebastian directly, he knows better than me what to do. I get that it won’t be easy to trust me so you won’t be forced to have any contact with me if it’s not necessary. You can stay for all the time you desire here, in the villa, but maybe I had already told you-“

“Yes, you did.”

The interruption of Captain Ackerman took me by surprise. I wasn’t thinking clearly and maybe he was trying to take me back on earth with that comment, an attempt to stop me from repeating things and making me look like a fool. No, probably he was just pointing out at how much unfitting I was as an ally, since I couldn’t even control my emotion while accepting their decision to stay. Maybe they were already regretting their decision or maybe I was just overthinking. I felt my knees tremble and suddenly my ears started burning and I immediately recognized that feeling: it was the same as when Tomoe reprimanded me when I was falling for him. But why now? Why with him? I bit the inside of my lower lip, realizing I had to go away before it could get worse.

“I’m sorry. Oh, I have horses! Sorry, that’s so random, but I read you like them, or maybe you don’t, you just had to use them outside the walls to survive. I apologize. Now it’s better for me to go back. You can ask Sebastian for…I told you this already. Sorry. I’ll go now.”

I turned my back to hide the blush spread all over my face. So fucking clumsy and what for? They were just people, why was I so scared of them? Why was I scared of disappointing them now that they’ve decided to actually stay? Why was I worrying that much all of a sudden? And again, why was I blushing like I used to do when I was falling with Tomoe? I could already hear Sebastian snickering when a voice, his voice, brought me back to reality, making my mental spinning stop. 

“Where?”

“…what?”

“I mean, where do you keep the horses?”

“Oh…near the airport there’s a stable, you can get there in ten minutes. The rest are in the woods, about half an hour from here. S-Sebastian can show you, if you’d l-like.”

“…thanks.”

That was unexpected. Captain Ackerman was really interested in horses and had even thanked me. We looked awkwardly towards each other for a few seconds, immersed in a weird and silent atmosphere that was later broken by him, when he turned and entered the gate with the rest of his squad. My stupid grin resurfaced and my cheeks turned even hotter and I brought my cold fingers to them, as to stop them from burning that much. But why was I burning that much? I looked over to Sebastian, unable to move away from my spot, as a silent request of help to lead me out from the impasse I was stuck in, so he came towards me and whispered to my ear. 

“See? You got them as you wished. Now you can help them as much as you want, feel useful and satisfy your conscience. Anyway, what was that clumsiness? It doesn’t suit you, a proper lady. I hope you can recollect yourself.”

“J-just follow them and don’t mind me.”

“As My Lady wishes. Ah, by the way, I’m slightly jealous they saw you blushing like that, I thought you would only show that to me.”

I widened up my eyes and looked at him in shock. Jealous? What sort of crap was that? And was it so obvious that I blushed? Not to mention the fact that now I was even more embarrassed by his comment and the allusions. In any case it was clear I had to go back home and regain control of my actions, so I spoke to him one last time before going back. 

“Seems like I’m weaker than you thought and I can show my vulnerability in front of others too, whether it’s wise or not it shouldn’t concern you. Speak with them and tomorrow you’ll refer to me. Also, there’s no need for you to come to my room tonight.”

I didn’t hear his response and walked away. My mind was still spinning around questions that didn’t seem to have a proper answer and two of them haunted me for all the rest of the day: why Sebastian recognized my blushing as something slightly different from normal embarrassment for my clumsiness before, and why did he care about that? But mostly: why did I stop to function as a proper rational human being whenever Captain Ackerman spoke or looked at me?

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She was exposing herself too much. So it was the little Captain who was on her mind lately? That could be fun to watch, as it seems like he’s not interested at all in her, or to everything else for that matter. Always so cold, so aloof, especially in front of me. The Captain and the other Ackerman girl were the only one who never showed their emotion, probably it was in their blood. It was clear they were all hurting and had been through a lot, but at least some of them tried a little better to enjoy themselves. Why was she attracted to him? Tomoe had a sharper tongue and was bolder and even if he never admitted it to her, he liked her from the start. Well, not since day one, but it was clear it wasn’t an ordinary master-familiar relationship for him since the minute I saw them the first time. To be fair, the Captain and Tomoe shared a similar aura, I guess in a way she had a type, but I wasn’t expecting to see her blushing like that now, with just a little exchange of words. Stupid little girl, did she really forget how much she had suffered the last time she fell in love? Why was she always looking for someone to love her if she was bound to die so early? I was aware my attentions towards her were shallow and she noticed that too, it was merely physical, but still, how could she still pursue something she won’t ever be able to enjoy? Human nature is still a mystery to me. In any case, I should tell Mizuki to stay with her tonight, since she’s so nervous she will surely have a nightmare and if she stops breathing again it will be a pain. I still have to have my ways with her.

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“Mizuki, what are you doing here? It’s almost midnight and my parents are sleeping, you can’t just knock at my window!”

“I’m sorry, Nanami-chan. I wanted to tell you that Eren left as soon as Finnian told Bard the squad’s decision. He wanted to thank you in person, but he also said you’ll meet again soon.”

“Well, I’m not so sure that’s a good news, but…at least he went away safely. Now go.”

“Sorry again, Nanami-chan, I have to stay in your room and watch you tonight. What if the squad actually wants to scam you and tries to kill you tonight?”

“…Mizuki.”

“What?”

“Be serious. You know they won’t do anything like that.”

“Still, someone told me you had a difficult day and so tonight you need a friend to stay with you.”

“You know what? I was about to say something mean about Sebastian coming to entertain me right now but, to be fair, I don’t want to see him tonight and you clearly know that already. I don’t care how you do, but it’s written all over your face that you’re here because you know I told him not to come here. Now enter before I change my mind. But remember to leave before dawn, I have to go to the university tomorrow morning.”

“I know, Nanami-chan.”

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March 31, Thursday, 7:23 (present time)

Having Mizuki stay over certainly helped. I didn’t remember if I had nightmares or anything, but having him by my side made me relax enough to fall asleep. I was really glad he came back into my life, even if it was selfish to keep him so close to me knowing about his feelings for me. I guess Sebastian is really turning me into a different, meaner person. 

“Cut me open and tell me what's inside,

diagnose me 'cause I can't keep wondering why,

and no, it's not a phase 'cause it happens all the time.

Start over, check again, now tell me what you find

'cause I'm going out of frequency.”

Probably is that same selfishness that made me decide to help Eren Jaeger instead of killing him now and postpone the issue for some years. That would’ve saved Sasha and Commander Hange for sure, but at what price? I would never taint my hands with his blood because I cared for him, I had learnt to do so since the moment I saw the files and I pitied him for that cruel fate, if “fate” was even an appropriate word. Did I just flush humanity’s best option away because I didn’t want to kill a complete stranger because I had read about his past and future? Did I just condemned Mikasa to kill his loved one because I was too coward? 

“It's like an avalanche, I feel myself go under,

'cause the weight of it's like hands around my neck.”

I know it was my intention to prevent Eren’s final plan by convincing him to find an alternative route, but he was stubborn enough not to listen to reason and, instead of stopping him, I let him plant the first seeds of the Rumbling. I felt nauseous, disgusted by myself, guilty. The worst part is that I can’t even tell anything to anyone or…well, Tomoe died when I revealed the future to him, so I won’t risk saying the possible future anymore. And why was my father looking at me like that right now? I removed my earphones and decided to ask him since we still had to stay together for the rest of the drive towards the nearest metro’s station. 

“Pa’, what’s up? You should look at the road, not me.”

“I am looking at both. You okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You…don’t seem happy, you seem sad.”

What was that? He never asked something like that out loud. He loved me and cared for me, but never once had made a remark so openly and straightforward. I scoffed, trying to sound convincing.

“I’m fine. Everything’s okay.”

“Mh. If you say so…”

Again, what was that? In any case I should maintain a more credible facade, I can’t make my parents worry for something I can’t explain. I’ll have to wear my best smile. I turned my face towards the window, trying to focus on the landscape at my right. The clear morning light was clouded by a slim remain of fog that lingered around the airport. The road we were on ran along the airport, it actually separated the airstrip from the lights that guided the departure or landing of the planes. 

“I never stood a chance, my heart has frozen over

and I feel like I am treading on thin ice, and I'm going under.

I need a cure for me 'cause the square doesn't fit the circle,

give me a remedy 'cause my head wasn't wired for this world.”

I looked at those lights but suddenly I noticed a shapeless black form moving just beneath them. I blinked twice, trying to make sense of what I was seeing and then, as an instinctive response, my chest caved, letting a puff of air escape my parted lips. My cheeks flushed and my heart started beating fast, as it always happened when something unexpected happened. I forgot. Beneath those light there were the closest stables to the villa, it was only natural for him to go there and so early in the morning surely was the best time. As the car I was on with my father moved, and the perspective of the training field for the horses changed with the course of the road, I followed his every movement, never letting him out of my sight. 

“I need a cure for me 'cause the square doesn't fit the circle,

give me a remedy 'cause my head wasn't wired for this world,

'cause I'm going out of frequency,

can anyone respond?”

My heart was beating way too fast far my liking. I was clearly losing my mind for letting the sight of him affect me so much and so soon. But I had to admit: he was beautiful. I would’ve gladly spent the rest of the morning looking at his figure immersed in the cold light and stare at his concentrated face, but then the road separated us, and I lost track of him at the first curve. 

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Author's note: and so the blushing saga began! it's a trait I think really suits this type of feelings, when you don't want to say out loud you like someone who doesn't actually even see you. Anyway, we're getting close with the ending of this first "season" and I really care for the next few chapters, I hope you will too. For now, you can listen here below to this chapter's song and as always, thank you for reading!

#nomen #ff #fanfic #aot #snk #aot x oc #levi #levi x oc #levi ackerman #sebastian michaelis #sebastian x oc #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kamisama kiss #kamisama hajimemashita #mizuki #tomoe #hange #eren #eren jeager #Spotify

[icetones]

@icetones

bro i hear dusks a little bit gay :flushed: and they have a million unfinished projects they should get on those

#thank you for letting me expose myself marley #asks #dusk.txt #maractsus

[lunaekalenda]

hi!! can i ask for either an eren or porco x reader fic where their titan form saves you from nearly dying during a battle and they get mad at you afterwards because they’re obviously not gonna be there all the time then when you apologize they end up breaking down because their afraid of losing you and it just ends in fluff 👉🏻👈🏻

OMG OMG wait this is gold!! that was a really good plot!! i had a hard time deciding, but i'm more into porco lately, so this time i'll be using him for my first fic! i hope you like it and sorry for the errors or the things that were different to the original ask :(  (*´-`) this takes place in one of the battles Marley fights against another enemy, but I will not follow the line of the original manga :D (also thanks to @breathes24 for refreshing my memory :D)

𝔰𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲

❁ porco x reader

❁ mention of blood and battle, mention of the extraction of a bullet, bad talking. shingeki s4 spoilers!

The only thing you could hear were shots. You kept running, your feet hurted and the backpack was really heavy. Running in the middle of the battlefield was a suicide mission, you knew it, but you were not going to leave all in Pieck's and Porco's hands. So, trying to avoid the shots, you keep runing. You can see Pieck's bag shooting and Porco running from one machine to another, trying to break them with his hardened claws. You look around, the corpses of your companions scattered across the field, along with some enemies. You try to concentrate in what you’re trying to do. The kids are safe in the trench, and you’re not a soldier of valor, you only have nursing knowledge, useless for the fight.

That’s why the commander has not hesitated to send you as a distraction.

“If you expose yourself as an easy target, they will probably have to divide their attention between them and you. Also, they know there are nine Changing Titans, but they don’t know exactly how many of them we have. They could think you’re one of them. That will make Zeke’s appearance more unexpected for them, you see?”

"Where the hell is Zeke?" you think. He should be here helping, a lot of eldians have died. a scream is heard and you identify it as a Titan's one. Pieck received a shot on her hand. She's losing her strength little by little. Porco keeps fighting, and Pieck’s support soldiers do a great job mastering the cannons, trying to hit the enemies. Reiner is trying to stop their train.

"Just wait a bit, guys. I'm almost there..." you enter the enemy side of the field. Your trench looks empty, because your army blindly believes in titans. But, like humans, their stamina is limited, and transforming takes a great deal of energy.

"There's one of them!!" someone yells in front of you. "She could be the Beast Titan, kill her before she reaches the other two!" all the soldiers can be heard loading their shotguns. 

The first shot impacts on the floor. The second, near you. You just have an option: keep running, faster.

You accelerate the step to the front, where big war machines are searching you. From the trench, a lot of soldiers are trying to kill you, failing due to the poor visibility they have, but it's a matter of time before those who run the tanks finds you.

This is the end.

The shots are every time more precise, but you can’t return and leave them alone, waiting for Zeke to make his appearance.

You have no scape.

You close your eyes, accepting the destiny, while you keep running. You can hear them charging their big machines. They found you.

You’re their target now.

A Titan's scream is heard, right before the order of the enemy captain.

"Fire!"

You open your eyes when a shot impacts on your leg, and you watch how they charge the canons, ready to kill you. Now you have zero scape way, you’re hurt and you can’t move.

Suddenly, the Jaw Titan appears and, opening his mouth, picks you up off the ground, locking you in his hardened jaw. His speed of movement allows him to easily dodge all shots. 

"Thanks, Pock."

A tremor and the sound of lightning tells that Zeke has already arrived to help.

He keeps runing, and then all you can hear are rocks hitting people, trains and houses. Zeke’s titan may be slow for running, but his pitches are deadly. Your leg hurts where the bullet went through, and the pants you’re using are covered with blood. 

“Just leave me here and return. I don’t want them to lose because of me.”

He ignored what you said and kept running, but slowing down. Probably he’s tired, he has been fighting for hours. 

Once you two are far enough from the battlefield, Porco turns right and you recognize the path he has been taking. We’re close to the residence. He opens his mouth and you go down to the floor, but your leg complains of the roughness of the movement. Then, his Titan falls, and he appears behind it. He seems angry.

"What the hell were you doing there?" he says. His Titan is steaming. 

"I wanted to help you, you were doing all the work... The commander told me to help and I thought it was a good idea." Porco looks at you without saying anything for a minute. Then, he sighs and looks at your bleeding leg, before coming towards you. His arm slips under your knees carefully, and the other rests on your back, before he lifts you. “I can walk, you don’t have to...”

“You have a fucking bullet inside, just take help for one damn time.” You decided to shut up and he enters the residence. “I have some medical stuff in my room, I’ll take you there.” He starts to walk up the stairs, heading to his room. There are a few doctors on their daily check of the injured soldiers that live here. He opens his door using his foot, and he enters. His room is clean and clear. Natural light comes in through the window, and a bedside lamp lights up the corner of hi bed. He leaves you in the bed before walking to his personal bathroom, from where he takes a medicine cabinet. Porco drags a chair to place it near the bed, making him able to treat your leg. He hasn’t talk since we arrived here, but he keeps frowning. 

“We didn’t need help” He says after cutting your pants at the height of the wound. Then, Porco opens the medicine cabinet, and takes out thread, needle and some surgical tweezers. The scalpel glows when he pulls it out.

“Maybe this hurts a bit.” He whispers. He prepares also a towel with some water. “Grab that pillow and use it to muffle your screams.” You do what he said, and you put his pillow on your face. It smells like him, and it comforts you a lot. He works fast, moving his fingers with precision, and extracting the bullet without problem. Once he’s finished, he saves everything back in place and offers you a glass of water. You’re dizzy from the pain and you needed to drink, so you thank him and drink.

“Do it slow or you’ll be feeling worst, idiot.” he scolds tou. You drink it slower and you take a breath once you’re finished.

“Thanks” He puts the glass on the table he has as a desk. 

“Well, I...”

“You could have died out there” he says. He’s not looking at you, and runs his hand through his hair. “You were about to die.”

“Thanks for that, you saved me”

“I’m not going to last forever, you know? Someday I’ll die, and I’m not going to be there to save you like all the other times. So start thinking about surviving and stop playing the heroine.”

“Sorry?”

Why was he so pissed off? You didn’t ask for his help.

“I don't have to take care of you every time we go out onto the battlefield”

“Stop doing it, then”

“It's called companionship, but it only works if everyone focuses on surviving and not in saving stupid death-hugging soldiers”

“I never asked you to save me.” The words come out on their own before you could stop them. That was very rude, you’re ungrateful. He looks at you in the eyes, but you can't tell how he feels. 

“Cool, next time I'll take care of my business and let you die, if that’s what you want.”

He’s hurt. You hurt him because you were getting nervous. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean anything that I said. I was getting anxious...”

He sighs. “I also talked badly to you.”

“But you’re right. I can’t survive by myself.” 

“I didn’t mean to say that.” His voice is losing strength, and his gaze is lowered. “It’s just... I thought that today I was losing you, I was not going to be able to arrive on time” his voice breaks while he talks. “I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you”

You looked at him surprised. “To me? Who cares about me? Maybe it’s because we trained together since kids.” You think for yourself, before speaking.

“Well, I know you care for all of us, but Pock yo...”

“You’re not getting it.” He says. Then he leans over to the bed. “I care for you. I care a lot. I can’t imagine if something bad happens to you. I’m always near in case I have to help you. I can only thing about your wellness.” His brown eyes are fixed on yours. “Please, don’t do that again.” His eyes are getting wet. “Just the idea of losing you terrifies me.” His hand sits on your back, and draws you to him. You’re speechless.

You have always been interested in Porco. When you first met him, you thought he was really handsome, and his personality made you think of him as unattainable. You two have been training together since kids. He was really good in all skills, and you were really bad. He helped you a couple times, but you ended in the nursery school. You started to lose contact, but then he inherited the Jaw Titan and wasn’t sent to Paradis, so you both coincide again. He is a man now, even more attractive than before, but with a somewhat shocking personality. So listen him saying this things makes your heart shudder.

“Pock, I...”

“I like you. Well, I think this is no more just attraction.” he whispers. “I guess I’m in love with you.”

That hit you like a train. His love for you was behind all the times he saved you, the times he helped you and the times he reprimanded you. He was moved by love, genuine concern. 

“Are you crying?” he separates you from his body to look at your face. Tears roll down your cheeks fast. Porco places his hands on both sides of your face, dabbing them dry with his thumbs. Your hands are placed on top of his, and you lean your head towards his touch. 

“I also love you, Pock” he smiles before kissing your forehead. “Since we were kids”

“You know that if you had said it before, I would have corresponded long ago” you laugh quietly, his thumbs tracing circles on your skin. “I can’t promise you a long life together, but if you accept the little that I can offer, I’ll be delighted to be with you.”

His lips place a soft kiss on your hair and you hug him.

“I will be happy to be with you, Pock.”

The room was silent, and you could only listen to his heartbeat, slow, because he has you on his arms, alive. You look at him, his handsome face looking you.

“Does that mean I can ask you to going out later” he laughs.

“I just took out a bullet from your leg, you have to rest.” you smirk.

“I live in the other part of the city. I can’t walk.”

“I’ll call a horse cart for you.”

He was having fun, dodging every possible way to spend time together that night.

“What if my leg hurts? I live alone.” you tried and, for your surprise, he smiled.

“Then I guess you need someone to take care of you tonight...”

His lips covered yours sweetly, and you thought you could get used to it.

To him.

#porco x reader #porco galliard #snk x reader #snk fluff #snk headcanons #snk fic #snk fanfiction #snk scenario #snk x you #snk #snk levi #snk eren #snk jean #snk imagines #aot x reader #aot fluff #aot fic #aot fanfiction #aot scenario #aot headcanons #levi aot #eren aot #aot imagines #jean aot #armin aot

[sleepysnk]

yeah y'all asked for it and i loved this scenario, so i hope you guys enjoy! ♡

After Party

Pairings: Porco Galliard x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW

Anticipation, nervousness, and excitement rushed through the many students at the championship football game against Marley University. Among those students was (Y/N), her nerves were set high as the game was now tied.

The game was in the 4th quarter with two minutes left on the clock. All they needed to do was score and the game would be over.

"Ugh come on! Why did they take another time out?"

She heard the many voices of the students who were patiently waiting for the game to end.

"(Y/N) I can't do this the suspense is too much!" Sasha yelled, shaking her shoulders.

"Relax! We got this.." she replied, turning towards the field. Her eyes averting to her boyfriend, Porco, who was on the field. His eyes flickered towards hers, he nodded his head making it known that he acknowledged her.

The air felt heavy, she felt like she couldn't breathe from how high the suspense was.

"They're going back out on the field!" Sasha yelled.

(Y/N) watched as the team got into position, she could hear her heart beating in her ears. She swallowed thickly as the clock started to tick down, her eyes never leaving the sight of her boyfriend.

"Hut!"

The ball was snapped and everyone grew tense, they watched as the ball was thrown into the endzone.

Caught.

By Porco.

Cheers erupted into the stadium as the pass was caught. (Y/N) jumped around excitedly with Sasha, her eyes averting to Porco who was being hyped up by his teammates.

"That is the final! Marley wins!"

"We won! We did it!" Sasha yelled, hugging her tightly.

(Y/N) dragged Sasha down the steps of the bleachers, almost slipping as she ran towards the field. Many students joined after her, going up to friends and congratulating the players on the win.

Porco turned his head to see her running towards him, he opened his arms as she tackled him into a bone crushing hug.

"There's my girl," Porco said, kissing her cheek.

She smiled excitedly. "You did so good babe! Congrats!" she replied, putting her arms around his neck.

His hair was messy, a few strands sticking to the side of his head from the sweat. "Thank you baby.. I couldn't have done it without you," he said, kissing her lips.

She felt her heart swell. "It really was all you," she said and brushed a few strands of his hair out of his face.

"Yo, Pock!"

They turned their heads to see Reiner jogging towards them.

"What's good?" Porco asked, smiling as he shook up with his teammate.

"There's an after party at Eren's, you tryna go? You can take (Y/N)," he asked, looking back towards the girl.

Porco looked back to see her looking around awkwardly. He knew parties weren't really her thing, and he didn't want to just ditch her.

"Nah.. I'm gonna celebrate with (Y/N)," he replied, looking back towards Reiner. "Thanks for the offer though,"

The blonde nodded. "Alright, sounds good. I'll see you Monday!" he said before running towards the locker room.

Porco turned his body back towards (Y/N), she embraced him in another hug. "You didn't have to do that babe.. I would have been fine by myself," she said, her eyes looking up into his honey like ones.

He patted her head. "I rather celebrate with you though, now what do you say we head back home and we celebrate ourselves?"

She giggled, feeling his arms wrapping around her form. "Sounds good.. I'll meet you by the car?" she asked, nodding.

He kissed the top of her head. "For sure,"

The two parted ways, (Y/N) made her way to the parking lot and waited by Porco's car. Her skin formed goosebumps from the chilly fall air, she shivered a bit, running her hands against her arms in an attempt to get warm.

"God Pock, hurry up.." she said to herself.

"Sorry babe.. I got distracted,"

Her eyes averted towards him, his hair was damp from a shower. He was wearing sweats and a hoodie, the aroma of his cologne filled her nose as he got close to her.

"You're fine! Let's just get home," she replied, kissing his cheek.

He looked so good right now.

(Y/N)'s mind filled with all these thoughts as she got into the car. His cologne made her intoxicated with these dirty ideas, she could feel her stomach doing flips thinking about everything.

"You good?" Porco asked, looking at her as he slowed towards the stoplight.

She blinked for a moment. "Yeah! I'm fine, sorry I'm just thinking."

He chuckled before taking her hand into his, the warmth of his fingers surrounding her cold ones. She felt tingles coming from his touch, that was something Porco always did whenever his fingers brushed along her skin.

"You're always so pretty when you zone out," he said, a soft chuckle escaping his throat.

She rolled her eyes playfully, her gaze going towards the road. "Not really.." she replied, smiling to herself.

He kissed the flesh of her hand. "Well I think so,"

-

Arriving to the apartment they shared, (Y/N) went into the room they both slept in. She wanted nothing but to change and to cuddle up with Porco. She yearned for his touch all day.

She went with a pair of shorts and a hoodie, her usual go to whenever she went to sleep. It was comfortable and her body felt freed from the confines of her leggings.

Porco laid on the bed, staring at the screen of his phone. He watched the replay of the pass he caught to win the game, he felt proud. That was for sure going to look good for him.

(Y/N) exited the bathroom, shutting off the light and stepping out to meet the bed he was laying on.

"What's up?" Porco asked, noticing her staring at him.

She smiled a bit before climbing next to him. "Oh nothing, I'm just really happy for you. That's all," she replied, running her fingers through his dirty blonde hair.

Porco clicked his phone off, placing it onto the table beside him. He patted his lap. "Come here,"

She climbed on top of him so his hips rested beneath her legs. She placed her hands onto his shoulders, she felt his muscles contracting underneath her touch.

A sigh escaped his mouth. "Ugh.. I've missed nights like these with you," he said, running his fingers along her hips. Squeezing at the flesh with his hands.

She felt her cheeks growing hot. "I've missed them too.." she said, putting her hands onto his chest. She could feel the muscles flexing underneath her hands.

His lips brushed over hers, their faces inches apart. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his, savoring the taste of him.

Porco snaked his arms around her waist and drew her closer to him. His tongue swiped over her bottom lip, asking for permission, she opened her mouth a bit wider and let his tongue explore the cavern of her mouth.

The pit of her stomach grew hot, arousal began to pool in between her legs from the kisses. She could feel his hands exploring every inch of her skin, sending tingles of excitement along her body.

She could feel his print beneath her it poked at her inner thigh, causing her to gasp a bit at the sudden sensation.

Porco's hands found their way to her hips, he gripped the flesh with his hands and began to slowly rock her against his cock. The friction sent waves of pleasure to her clit, causing a moan to escape her mouth.

"P-Porco.." a whine escaped her mouth from the friction.

He groaned feeling her clit rubbing against his cock, the blood rushing to his dick hearing her moans.

His hand found its way underneath the fabric of her sweater, his cold fingers brushed against her breasts making her nipples hard. He played with the flesh, using his index and middle finger to play with her bud.

Her pussy grew wet from the friction, her underwear soaking and her cunt yearning for more. She wanted to feel his skin, coat his cock with her slick, hell, even cum on his cock with just her grinding against it.

"You like that baby? You like grinding against my dick? Fuck.. you look so sexy right now," he groaned, rocking her hips a bit quicker against him. His cock twitching and aching beneath his sweats.

She dug her nails into his shoulders, her eyes squeezing shut.

Porco tapped her thigh, looking at her with blown pupils. "Hop off.. I need to get out of these," he said, looking down at his sweatpants.

She climbed off him and took the opportunity to strip herself of her shorts. Her underwear was soaking with her slick, a large damp spot formed, darkening the material.

Porco threw his sweater off, exposing his muscles that contracted with every move. His pulled down his sweats along with his boxers, his cock sprang out and slapped his stomach. Seeing his cock made her rub her thighs together in anticipation.

"Come here.." he said, his voice low.

She crawled towards him, maneuvering herself so her thighs were on either side of him. She felt the tip of his cock poking at her clit, spreading her folds apart.

He moved his cock so it was now against his stomach.

"Rub your little pussy against it baby.."

She let out a shaky breath as she set her clit down against his cock. Her breath hitched feeling the skin to skin contact, his cock was warm almost feverish against her clit. The sensation made her twitch.

Porco put his hands against her hips, grinding her against his cock. He groaned feeling her pussy against his dick, her arousal coated his cock making her move a bit easier against him.

"Oh fuck.." she moaned, biting her lip.

His cock twitched, the tip threatening to slip inside. "Just like that.. oh fuck baby, keep doing that," he said, throwing his head back.

She moved her hips a bit quicker this time, her clit throbbing against him and more of her slick dripping onto his cock. Her mind was cloudy, a knot forming in her stomach.

He used his thumb to rub circles in her clit, her eyes rolling back at the pleasure.

"Shit... fuck yeah, your pussy is so wet. I can feel you pulsating against me, is that what I do to you princess?" he asked, a smirk growing onto his face.

She cried out in pleasure. "Y-Yes!"

Porco stopped her from moving, her eyes averting towards his.

"Sit"

He moved his cock and positioned it near her slit. She sunk down onto it, the two moaning together. His cock slid in smoothly from her arousal.

"Porco! Oh fuck, Porco!" she cried, throwing her head back as he pounded into her. Her walls were sucking him in, fluttering around him as he thrusted quickly.

Her vision went white as the tip of his cock brushed against her g-spot. Her nails dug into his shoulders leaving marks on his skin. His balls slapped against her clit and squelching noises filled the room from her wet cunt.

"Just like that.. fuck you look so pretty," he said, wrapping his hand around her throat and bringing her forwards to kiss her lips.

She rolled her hips against his cock, her thighs trembling. "Yes! Yes!" she cried, breaking the kiss between them.

Her lips were puffy and swollen from the kisses, Porco's hand found its way to her ass, kneading the flesh and squeezing causing gasps and moans to escape from her mouth. Her moans sounded like music to his ears.

He could feel her velvety walls tightening around him, her jaw was slack and her eyes were low. Her breathing was becoming heavy.

"Baby.. I'm gonna cum!"

His hands grinded her against his cock. "Cum all over my fucking dick princess," he ordered, his voice husky and low.

Her toes curled as her orgasm shook her body, her eyes rolled back and her stomach bursted with waves of pleasure that moved around her body. She could barely speak any sentences from it all.

Porco's cock twitched inside of her, his orgasm hit seconds later. His sticky white cum filled her pussy, coating her walls with all white. He groaned at the feeling.

She collapsed beside him in bed, their cum leaking out her pussy.

"I tired you out huh?" he asked, putting his arms around her waist.

She giggled a bit, trying to catch her breath. "Maybe..." she replied, kissing against his jaw.

He smirked before climbing on top of her. "We're not done celebrating just yet.."

#anime #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot imagines #aot fanfiction #snk x y/n #snk x reader #snk fanfiction #snk imagines #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #porco galliard #porco x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #anime fanfic #aot smut

[helena-thessaloniki]

Hi Helena! Big fan of your writing here🥺♥️ Your rivamika fics are my safe space 😭 (if you have time to answer) i’d love to know when you first started shipping them, why, and what made you continue to love this ship (or anything else to do with your journey as an RM shipper)? i love your characterisation of both levi and mikasa individually, but even more so, your portrayal of their dynamic as a couple, which is why i wanted to ask so badly ☺️ x

Hey anon! Oh woah, first of all, thank you so much. Second of all, oh god, you probably shouldn't have handed me the mic. heh 😅

I’m afraid to look at the word count of this response, I’m sure it’s much more than you bargained for, but I appreciate the question and enjoyed thinking through my response (: Most importantly, I’m so glad you find my stories as a safe space. It’s really an honor. Thank you for sharing with me 🖤🖤

TL; DR As a longtime reader, writer and lover of stories and story-telling, by being someone who pays attention to how stories are crafted and deliberately developed from beginning to end, I sincerely thought Isayama was setting up rivamika as an endgame relationship. So, I read into and interpreted meaning out of ALL their interactions and became deeply invested.

I don’t necessarily ship them cause of the parallels, age gap, enemies to lover trope, height difference, or some of those common reasons and/or kinks. I’m more basic and boring than that. I love the concept of them coming together as though it’s inevitable.

They both are unbelievably strong, selfless, and have suffered so much loss— so, no one else could truly understand them as well as they can understand each other. They both probably would have always settled for a stable, simple life, and been alone and lonely even without realizing it— instead, they find each other, and realize what it means to actually no longer be alone, to do more than just survive. It’s this understated bond, as opposed to a dramatic and passionate romance, that I envision in them and that I love so much.

Then, the passion, heat, the romantic "spark"— I think that’s an added bonus, the cherry on top, the perfect final puzzle piece. They’re both so physically capable, can speak through their actions, and don’t show much need or capacity for emotional/ verbal communication, so the ability to connect with each other through physical intimacy and mind-blowing sex seems like another given.

Still, at the end of the day, for me it comes back to their ability to fully depend on each other, to the inevitability. Not like some soulmate trope where they 'have no choice' in it, but like the stars aligned to prove it's right. How each of them have only one other person on the whole planet who could see and understand them, to be on par with them, to make them realize there’s more to life than settling and surviving, and they happen to find it in each other.

You asked, I rambled 😅 Here’s a breakdown of my thought process in my rivamika journey. For those who make it to the end or want to skip to the end, I'll finish with the excerpt of the very first rivamika scene I felt compelled to to write.

I've tried before to re-watch and remember the exact scenes, exact moments, that initially captured my full attention, but I guess it was all of them, the gradual and cumulative compilation of their earliest interactions.

Mikasa always appearing cool and indifferent, and paying no attention whatsoever to others fawning over, like Jean initially falling for her, but then her strongly reacting over Levi in the courtroom showed how uniquely capable he was at getting under her skin.

Of course, the scene in the forest chasing the Female Titan was a critical one. I think of that as the first time both Levi and Mikasa were truly able to see the other's strength, mental and physical. And for them, orphans and trauma survivors who have suffered extensive loss, I think that seeing strength in another person made them feel less alone. Less alone in a deep, quiet but cataclysm, life-altering sort of way, even if not a romantic one. Like they didn't know it was something they didn't have, something they didn't expect to get from life, but then found it with each other.

(Even when we found out Levi was an Ackerman, I was disappointed if it meant they were immediate relatives, but willing to accept it wouldn't be a romantic end to loneliness, it would be a familial end to loneliness. But... the author never explored that. Not once.)

In that forest scene, manga and anime, the way that Levi pauses to really look and see Mikasa and think about who she is, what she’s gone through, and how strong and dedicated she is now— that was a defining moment. It was also a visual demonstration of Levi breaking character, from aloof and ruthless, to considering and curious. I thought Yams was showing both of them do that on purpose.

Then, Levi getting hurt because of Mikasa in that scene felt like another clue. Sure, it was while saving Eren, and sure, it could have been meant to humanize super-soldier Levi, or sure, it could have been another aspect of how Mikasa rushing into things over Eren ends up hurting other people that later changes in her character development, but it felt like a very pointed statement about Mikasa being a vulnerability for Levi. And that's swoon-worthy, right? Most of us have been exposed to and conditioned by stories about how special and romantic it is to be the one and only girl who can make an otherwise disinterested or unattainable guy actually pay attention to her, and so admittedly I fall right for it.

I’m sure I’m forgetting plenty, but the opening of season 3 felt like confirmation. When Levi figures out Kenny's behind things and entrusts Mikasa with instructions to share with the others, instructions about fighting people instead of titans that ultimately everyone else besides her struggles with, and when Mikasa lets Levi hold her back from chasing after Eren, her most important way of trusting and having faith in Levi, I honestly took that as cues from the author that rivamika was endgame. I let myself get truly invested from then on. That’s that understated bond I was referring to. To me, that unspoken but undeniable trust is the most important dynamic.

Seeing them fight together or fight similarly has always been fun and powerful and fulfilling.

I'm newer to the snk club. I was originally an anime-only fan and started watching in fall 2019, I think. I wasn't on tumblr, twitter, or anything else to see fandom discourse. So, I didn't know that the rooftop scene of Mikasa fighting Levi over the serum was such a staple for our ship until much later. I love the scene just like many do for all the reasons we do, but I don't think the actual scene was pivotal for me, so much as it's aftermath. I thought it represented two things.

One, it was an important marker in Levi's characterization. Hands-down one of the most striking scenes to me is the one where Levi is in the alley, somber and alone, listening in on Eren, Armin, and Mikasa talking together. It artfully shows his longing for hope and connection. So, when Levi chose Armin for the serum, that represented Levi choosing hope. And when Mikasa ultimately gave up fighting Levi and didn't choose Armin, which Armin finds out about later on, I see that as an important marker in Mikasa's development. It puts a wedge between her and Armin/Eren [Armin, because he knows she would have let him die, and Eren, because Armin is too special to him and he couldn't look at her the same way after realizing she would have let him die]. That distance between her and her childhood friends is one I don't think could ever be healed completely, one of those painful lessons in growing up. By doing that, it then also puts a distance in Mikasa's own childhood self to her current self. I thought that matured her and separated her out in a way that was another clue toward eventual rivamika developments.

That's a whole other conversation on Mikasa, but I’ll stay on track. Her love for Armin was absolutely authentic and fierce, but at the end of the day, at the core of her being, she chose survival over hope. Meanwhile, Levi chose hope over survival. To me, that was soft, fertile ground for the reasons why eventually, if/when Mikasa found hope and chose hope, that could directly tie together with her inevitably in coming together with Levi. Again, less butterflies and fireworks, but more natural and in a way that was just a given.

I wrote Beyond the Walls before reading the manga from the Marley Arc and on, so that's why most of that story is her journey into embracing that hope. *manga spoilers* There's a lot of meta, criticism and talk about Mikasa's silent, off-screen and subtle style of character development in the Marley Arc and afterward. I won't go down that road, I'm still processing the end of the manga to be honest, but I think it's fair to say she does eventually end up choosing hope over survival when she lets go of Eren and saves humanity instead. I love the “Stay with Me” line and think it’s perfect; a simple but profound display of trust and their deep-rooted bond in a really understated way. *end manga spoilers*

Here's something I always wanted to talk about in full but haven't. It honestly reads to me like Yams was building toward rivamika, and didn’t do anything to stop that until too late. There are tools authors can use to ensure we stop shipping a pair or start shipping a new one; love triangles are commonly used in every artistic medium and we’ve all been persuaded by these tools. But Yams didn’t use these tools to make sure readers didn’t feel convinced by rivamika. For all the reasons I listed above, more I'm forgetting, and for the following:

If he wanted us to think they were family and it would be incest, he should have added in a conversation between them realizing they were (close) family and that they weren't the only ones left in their biological family like they thought. But he didn't.

If he wanted us to think it was completely inappropriate between a child-and-adult and student-and-teacher, then he could have done something to ensure Mikasa looked childish or Levi looked older, but no. They barely look ten years apart. I do think it's unacceptable and that there's a power imbalance between a child-and-adult relationship regardless of that, and that there can't be true consent when one is a superior and another a subordinate, so I personally age-up Mikasa in my head and try to handle his position of power responsibly in my writings... but the point being, by the end of canon, there's no inappropriate or non-consensual romance between them, yet there's a lot of history and chemistry that could naturally lead to an age-appropriate and consensual relationship. If Yams didn't want us to think so, he could have made it more clear that there were reasons it wouldn't happen.

The only thing that makes sense to me is the author planned on rivamika endgame but was shamed/pressured out of it (either internally or due to others) OR that the author somehow accidentally created such vibrant chemistry and an incredible dynamic between them. Like, he didn't put enough convincing substance of eremika in, didn't make Levi look old enough, didn’t have one of them do something unforgivable in the other’s eyes, etc. Those are some of those tools he could have used. Romance was never a key component in snk. And since we now know Yams planned or needed eremika endgame for sake of plot and the conclusion of the manga, I personally think he didn't know what to do with the riveting rivamika substance and chemistry being much more convincing to readers. Once he had them so well built-up, maybe the only option he felt he had was to just stop putting the characters together. We get little-to-no rivamika interaction, platonic or practical, after season 3 all the way up until the very end. But there was so much of it beforehand ?? So, it simply doesn't make sense. I think the author just straight-up cut any and all interactions out between them because it was too convincing and moving, more convincing and substantial than eremika. But, as the end of canon shows, we needed to have some eremika buy-in. It's messy writing and unskilled in the romance department, but considering for how long and how complicated snk has been in a creative process and how lackluster the eremika romance (the main and apparently pivotal romance) is developed, I think it’s plausible to say the author effed up.

As far as writing fanfiction goes, there's just so much room to explore them. In canon, we aren't given enough insight into their individual perspectives, let alone their dynamic together, so it feels like a blank canvas to work from. I think that's part of why I love to write them, and also why I don't necessarily read much of them. When I first started shipping them while watching the anime, I read a few of the classics that were canon-verse, but I haven’t really read much since. For me, exploring and discovering them as a writer is the most fun. (It's one of the reasons Naruto and Harry Potter have such large fanfiction collections. There's so much world-building and so many characters, but there's also so much left to the imagination.)

In general, I'm drawn to strong characters, especially women, who are multidimensional enough to be real, vulnerable and soft. Mikasa is the pinnacle of that. I don’t necessarily like to write about her love or infatuation with Eren, but I do respect and admire and consider it integral to her character and her amazing capacity to love. We can have strong, kickass women who falter when it comes to love but are still considered strong for it. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive and Mikasa is a beautiful example of that.

And Levi is strong, but real and vulnerable too; he’s honestly a fantastically developed character, from Petra explaining to Eren in the beginning how he’s not the amazing hero he’s painted to be to the public, to how Levi genuinely cares for Erwin and others and chooses hope despite all he’s suffered.

The end of the manga wrecked me a bit. Kind of like Games of Thrones. You have something that was so epic and well-done for so long, a rushed ending that isn't immediately sensical and isn't fulfilling is hard to stomach. Eventually, I'll move on from the denial of that and process what I think and feel about it. The whole reason we have fanfiction is to expand on canon, but it's made me put rivamika on the back burner until I figure it out. So I'm a little less hyper-fixated on the pairing right now even though interacting with you all and asks like this remind me what brought me here in the first place. 😊

To conclude, I’ll share that the very first rivamika content I wrote was a compilation of moments I thought could be inserted into season 3. These are still moments I plan to edit and publish one day. For anyone that actually read this far, I’ll put a rough and unedited excerpt of the first scene I ever wrote about them.

Thank you again anon 🖤😊

BEGIN EXCERPT [after the rooftop fight for the serum, immediately following the ceremony where Eren touched Historia by kissing her hand]:

Part of her was embarrassed at such a flagrant act of disobedience to a superior, especially to one who saved her and countless others' lives in the past. But mostly, she was anguished by the situation Captain Levi put her in once he revoked the serum meant to save Armin and planned to use it on Commander Erwin instead. Her current ostracization and self-loathing was not entirely her own fault. Anger she felt toward herself was just as easy to wield against him.

It must have shown in the grit of her teeth or defiant tone, because he turned to look at her, more aloof than curious.

Like a flint struck to steel, it ignited the fury she felt toward him.

“I shouldn’t have hesitated. I should have just killed you,” she answered him at last, piercing him with eyes darker than the night.

He wasn’t concerned. “You’re good, but not that good.”

Her hands fell to her side, fists clenched as she stood with a single, fluid movement. Before she could let loose a threat, he sighed.

“What’s the problem, Ackerman?” He was dismissive, his shoulders relaxed and posture loose.

The fire too furious to contain, she went sailing for him with the same speed from the battlefield. Her fingers already curled, she tightened her grasp as she swung her fist into his gods-damned apathetic face.

Levi wasn’t unprepared. He easily side-stepped her, then snatched her wrist to steal her momentum. Though he tried to toss her aside, she was no less fast; Mikasa dug her heel in and spun, her other arm shoving hard into his chest.

Too graceful to stumble, Levi used the chance to hook her second arm too. He caged both her wrists in a grip so strong, she was sure it bruised her bones. Still, he only looked at her warily, almost bored.

“Shouldn’t you be grateful? I chose Armin.” If his reminder was meant to ease her anger, it had the opposite effect.

Fury and desperation gifted her additional strength. She shoved into his chest hard. Levi shifted backward, nearly forced into loosening his grip; within that split second of an opening, Mikasa slammed her elbow into his chin, rocking his head backward.

“You did,” she seethed, but as fast as the fire inside her exploded, it was doused. Her next words came out broken and damp. “But I didn’t.”

Levi remained stern and otherwise unmoving as he attempted to flex his jaw through the spasm of pain. As the momentum of the fight died down, he loosened his hold on her wrists and evaluated her distraught frame.

Mikasa immediately released her own hands and turned away from him, eyes stinging from tears she refused to shed as she focused on the stars ahead. Admitting the harsh words aloud hurt her far more than any injury she could inflict onto him.

Not only was Armin one of the only friends she had, but he’d been a steadfast one throughout almost all she could remember of her life. After the trauma of her childhood, it was Eren and Armin who embraced her, whom she learned to love. Now, though, there was a wedge between her and Armin she was not sure could ever be removed. What was worse, as deplorable and selfish as she knew it proved her to be, was the painful wedge it now put between her and Eren too.

Once again, she found Levi standing at the peripheral of her sight, close enough to see but far enough to be a blur at the edge of her watery vision.

“You almost killed me.” Levi repeated his earlier words, but he said them with an odd bite, torn between frustration and patience. “You would have killed me to save him.”

Too late, Mikasa realized he hadn’t meant these words as an accusation, but an odd form of validation. She bit her bottom lip, teeth puncturing too hard; the tang of metal was sharp on her tongue when she swallowed blood.

“You thought about letting your closest friend die,” Levi said quietly, tiredly. “But I did let mine die. I left him for dead, when I could have saved him.”

Mikasa was startled from her selfish reverie, for the first time acknowledging the sacrifice he made on that fateful afternoon. She’d been too absorbed in her own relief, and then, her own regrets to consider what the decision had done to him.

For a brief moment, she considered turning to face him, but the stark reality of the matter made her refrain. How could she feel pity for his loss, when his loss enabled her gain? An uncomfortable knot tightened in her stomach.

“Tch,” Levi sighed. He was only one notch less taciturn, but for him, that was soft. “You’ll live with your guilt, and I’ll live with mine.”

His words granted Mikasa’s tears the permission to spill. She buried her face further into her scarf, both hands trembling at the worn threads. As quietly as he arrived onto the roof, Levi disappeared from it.

.

.

It was rare for him to indulge in alcohol or celebrations, but Erwin’s absence felt more tangible than his presence ever did. Levi distracted himself with the chaos of the few remaining Scouts that Erwin had died entrusting his legacy to, and attempted to drown the pain with whatever drink Connie Springer shoved into his hands.

He found Hanji with their ale long-forgotten about on the table as they half-stood from their seat, frantic while explaining some morbid experiment in great, vivid detail to an unsuspecting and slightly horrified MP officer.

Though Levi wordlessly took the seat beside them, Hanji paused their rant to slap him hard on the back, an enthusiastic greeting flying from their drunken lips. The MP took this chance to excuse himself, a pathetic attempt at politeness, but Hanji either didn’t care or didn’t notice.

“Ah, Levi,” they smiled at his drink, though it didn’t entirely reach their one eye. “Where you been?”

Levi didn’t answer. “You know, shitty-glasses, you’re even more unbearable about your experiments when you’re drunk.”

Hanji waved dismissively and reached for their ale. Years spent in battle and command together had gifted both of them with an eased familiarity, and sometimes, genuine friendship. In the same manner he ignored their question, Hanji ignored his lack of response and went on with their original inquiry.

“Careful, Captain,” Hanji warned lightly. “Now that there’s far fewer Scouts, you having a favorite might cause some division.”

Even though Hanji meant the words, there was a glint of mischief that twinkled in their remaining eye.

“It’s not favoritism,” Levi countered bluntly, turning his vision toward the young man on the far side of the room. “Eren is simply the best chance that we have in this war.”

Hanji laughed as if he’d made a joke and Levi looked back to stare at them, unable to be surprised at their quirks or oddities any longer, but still a touch curious about what spurned this current demonstration.

“I wasn’t talking about Eren,” Hanji said at last, a pointed nod toward his injured chin.

Levi blinked. He didn’t realize he was nursing his injury with the hand not on his drink. As though it were too hot to touch, Levi dropped his hand.

Hanji was not judgmental, nor inquisitive. In a war-torn life of losing too many cadets entrusted to him, the fact that Levi found a soldier with the strength and skill to remain safe was not only rare, but worth special attention. Still, it made him too lenient.

“Sometimes I think you’d let her get away with murder,” Hanji chided halfheartedly.

When he thought of Erwin dead in his grasp, sometimes he wasn’t sure if he already had.

#my asks #my thoughts #rivamika #rivamika fanfic #lena writes

[kyojuuros]

5,6,7,11,12,13,14,15,18,19,20,25,26,27,31,50

Sorry if this is too much 😅

No worries!! thanks for the ask! <3

I've already answered 5, 11, 12, 18, 19, and 50 (you can check my ask meme tag).

6. Who was your least favorite character initially? Did it change? If we’re talking early into my engagement with the series... probably Annie? I was spoiled on her being the female titan pretty early on and didn’t really care about nuance so much back then, so I was already like prematurely upset with her. I think I turned around from that fairly quickly though thanks to fanworks and meta analysis and such. Shipping culture also probably had a fair amount to do with my change of heart as well lol. Also I remember once someone called her my anime twin. 

If we are talking strictly in terms of characters that I disliked immediately, Gabi was the poster girl for a character that I immediately dreaded every moment she was on screen... up until Eren’s attack on Marley. Once I saw her world get turned upside down and took a moment to understand her perspective, and once she got on that blimp and I knew she was going to be exposed to the Paradisians, I immediately became invested in her development and I absolutely was not let down. She’s easily in my top 10 favorite characters now. 

7. Favorite season? I still adore season 2 the most. The animation was just absolutely stellar. I thought WIT did such a good job with the adaptation and what filler there was, I loved. And I still haven’t felt any other scene in the anime have as much impact on me as the way Reiner and Bertolt’s warrior reveal was adapted. I’ll always be fond of Ymir and Historia’s relationship and I felt like so much care was put into it on WIT’s part - and this is also the season that adapted the Eremika moment from chapter 50 which will forever be one of my favorite scenes in the series. 

13. One thing you’d change about the story? The main things I see as a stain on the story personally are Historia’s pregnancy subplot (that went nowhere tbh) and just... Floch’s entire existence aSGDFHJFJ (sorry @ the people who like him asgdhfdjfj). I also had some issues with Levi feeling like a one-trick pony toward the end (must kill Zeke.... gotta kill the beast titan.... everything is zeke’s fault i’m gonna kill him... it got boring to me). 

14. If you contribute to the fandom, what’s your proudest work? It’s honestly hard to pick just one thing since I’ve been making gifs for the fandom since like... 2015? I could put one of the ones that netted the most notes but I actually think one of my greatest labors of love was this set I did for Eren’s birthday week a couple years ago. I know it looks pretty simple but it took a lot of effort and I was truly happy with the result.

15. Controversial opinion? Gabi’s character development was top tier. 

20. What was the hardest death for you? I think, generally speaking, Erwin’s (and Bertolt’s, to a degree) was the hardest death to deal with for me. Not from a series perspective (because while I like Erwin, he’s never been a character I was attached to and I expected his death once the deck was stacked), but purely from a fandom perspective. Everything became so divided and hostile... it was really hard to navigate the fandom at that point in time and I’m sure there were things I absolutely didn’t handle well myself either (I was much more prone to engage in discourse and drama back then). People I really respected quickly lost that respect and people I thought were friends had no issue suddenly treating me like an enemy. It was just.... honestly a really dark time in the fandom’s history and I don’t think there’s a single person who was active in the fandom when Midnight Sun dropped who looks back on that period fondly. 

That being said, if we’re talking purely from a series perspective, ofc it was Eren’s. His death was inevitable and I denied it’s eventuality for a long, long time. I’d come up with the craziest theories in hopes that they would spare him from becoming the story’s ultimate antagonist who had to be killed. Though, by the time it actually happened in the story, I’d reached the acceptance stage of grief. I think it helped that it was executed very poetically and beautifully (imo). 

25. What character grew on you? I’d say Gabi but since I already covered that in an earlier question, I’ll go with Mikasa. People who’ve discovered my blog in more recent years would probably never guess that I actually didn’t like her much at all in the beginning. Like, I enjoyed her well enough, and she had her moments, but I was unreasonably averted to her in the beginning. Once I started making a concentrated effort to understand her character, she grew on me very quickly and became one of my favorite characters of all time. I had a lot of growth with her during the first couple years of being in the fandom. 

26. Who would be your best friend irl? My heart says Mikasa but I also know I’m biased af LOL Truthfully I probably would fit in more with Sasha and Connie as far as friendships go. I was totally just like them when I was their age lol

27. Who would you hate irl? same character i hate now.... floch asgddfjfd

31. Favorite trio? I think by the end of the story I very solidly loved EMA’s dynamic the most. And I always loved their dynamic, but for the longest time I really liked the idea of Eren/Mikasa/Levi as a “trio” of sorts because I really loved the idea of Mikasa and Levi being like “knight” figures to Eren and they were consistently my three favorite characters anyway. It probably helped that they were the ones most often used in early promotional material (and merch... I have SO MUCH EML merch asgdjdj)

#reply #k-yoya-fan #ask meme #snk spoilers

[the-ackerman-clan]

A dark blue umbrella was raised above Iris's head, shielding her from the heavy rain that poured down in the town of Mitras. The rain drops that bounced off the umbrella stung at her shoulder like needles, making her green military coat slightly wet.

Mitras, being the communal hub for the rich and famous of the three Walls, was equipped with the best of everything. Iris had seen much differences between the once destroyed district of Shiganshina and here: the pavements clean, the roads devoid of rubbish and dirt. Even the buildings that lined the streets were beautifully painted, standing tall and proud, the people milling about in the area dressed extravagantly in priceless furs and silks.

'It's just like Marley,' she thought to herself, making a turn into a dark alley, skirting past shallow puddles laying around. 'There's just no difference from how they separate pure blooded Marleyans from Eldians. Plain shit.'

Truly, if Queen Historia hadn't asked the Survey Corps' higher-ups to travel all the way here for mere dealings with political intrigue, they wouldn't be here at all. Despite Trost being not as lavish as any district of Wall Sina, it was modest in the very least. Unlike here, where it reminded her of her honorary Marleyan life.

Iris slowed her brisk walk to a stroll, defying the wind blowing against her frame. She hadn't told anyone about where she truly came from, except for her superior, the deceased Commander Erwin and her most trusted friends - Levi and Mikasa. They took the news in with monotonous and understanding expressions, but she could tell they were just as shocked as when they just found out Eren was actually a Titan.

If the two rather emotionless Ackermans could be surprised by her past, she didn't want to imagine what the others would say.

"Hey, Iris?"

The woman looked up, feeling a pit of dread pooling in her stomach. Out of all the people it could be, Armin stood in front of her, slightly panting as if he ran to her, letting the rain pelt on him, making him wet from head to toe.

She would've loved to see the blue of his eyes, hear his voice, but now, when she was contemplating about whether or not to expose the past of her life, it just wasn't a good time. "Hey... Armin. Here, take the umbrella. You're all wet. And don't give it back to me. " She shoved the handle of the umbrella in his hands, then formed a respectable distance from him.

Even though she gave it to him, Armin ignored her words, stepping forward to cover her from the rain too. Now the umbrella covered her more than it did him, leaving his back exposed.

"I said you can take it. I'm going somewhere else." She looked away, a frown on her face.

"Where then?"

"None of your business."

He huffed, forcefully grabbing her hand in his. "What's wrong with you, Iris? This isn't you. Please... Just tell me what's wrong. Okay?"

"Nothing is wrong." she bit back. "Please, just leave me alone. I beg you. Go find Annie or something." She pursed her lips, internally chastising herself for letting that slip. Annie wasn't the core of her problems.

"So this is about Annie? About me visiting her?"

Well... It partially was about that. When Iris saw Armin emerge from the dungeons with a Military Police officer, Hitch Dreyse that day, speaking of Annie, she was dumbfounded. And a tad bit jealous, if she admitted it. Yet, that was better than her admitting about escaping from Marley and how she actually got her powers. Instead of talking, she remained quiet.

"Look, I told you I don't like her at all. She's just one of my friends apart from Mikasa... And Eren. But there's nothing inappropriate between us, I swear!" Armin gripped her hand in his tighter, feeling his sea-blue gaze burning into her cornflower blue ones.

"I don't care, Sir." Iris flung his hand away, the artificial Winter genes in her beginning their work. She knew they did because Armin's whole body swayed at the force, almost lunging sideways before he resumed his stance quickly. "With all due respect, Commander, I don't freaking care about what's going on in your love life. If you need someone to confide in, go find Mikasa. Or even Annie." Annie's name came out harshly, spoken between gritted teeth.

Her angry sarcasm made the two fall silent, staring at each other for a moment. Even though it was just a few minutes, it felt like eternity, dragging at Iris's heart.

"Iris, I know this isn't the real reason. You're never petty or jealous about these things. You're so open, level-headed and accepting... Even though you're just like Captain Levi. That tough shell hides a tender heart of gold inside. I know it."

To be continued!

Okay! So that's about it today!! 😆 I wanna continue lol but that would result in me getting to engaged in the story and being unable to pull myself out 🤣

Maybe a part 2 later tonight or tomorrow? 👀 don't worry, this will only go to part 3 at most, it won't become an actual fic XD

Also, I know I might get hated by hardcore AruAni shippers after this, so I'm not gonna add any tags for now. Do know that I wholeheartedly RESPECT, and even SHIP AruAni, but this is just a story for my OC. ^^ Thank you, and enjoy reading!

#arminarlert #armin arlert #original character #aot oc #snk oc #snkarmin

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Marvel’s Dobson: Infinity PTSD

In case you wonder why I personally think Dobson is an idiot, here is one (of many) reason(s): Dobson takes the wrong things way more serious than he should.

 On one hand, he will belittle people e.g. to think about the new Pokemon starters more than about current events in real life…

But then he will also throw fits at something like a silly add slogan by Burger King, calling it sexist crap and that the company should be ashamed of it.

 Belittle lesbian teenagers for not taking “KorraSami” as something serious and progressive as he does…

Or in case of Marvels “Infinity War”, believe that the movies ending would be ptsd inducing.

I am not kidding. What you see here is a tumblr post Dobson made up shortly after he watched Infinity War in May of 2018, making it known that he is scared that the movie could be traumatic for people on a global scale.

Which was laughable back then and is even more so in the year 2021, when we actually go through a global trauma in form of Covid-19. Making me also believe, that Dobson, despite claims of suffering from depression and his own form of PTSD, has absolutely no idea what a trauma really is and that despite all his whining over the years, he must have one of the most privileged and easiest lives on the planet, if he thinks a superhero movie is going to be as traumatizing as certain real world events. At least the way the post is worded implies, that Dobson seriously believes seeing Spiderman and other Marvel heroes bite the dust (so to speak) has the same effect as e.g. witnessing 9/11 play out live or being involved in an actual war.

Don’t get me wrong, I know of the reactions people had at Infinity War and the infamous Snap scene. I myself was in a theater where a bunch of kids started to cry when Starlord died. And I do understand that reaction. Because unlike Dobson, I am not just using my brain to whine about things not pandering to my fetishes.

I know, that the MCU and its characters have grown on people over the years, myself included. So when we as an audience watch the world and characters we care about get destroyed as Thanos does to Knowhere, Gamora and so many more, we have an emotional reaction to it. I myself was not distraught, but genuinely surprised that when Thanos snapped his fingers, as many heroes died as we saw on screen. Sure, knowing the comics and that Infinity War was just part one of a two part Avengers Finale of phase 3, I knew the snap would happen. In fact, I even hoped for it to happen, cause I love badass villain moments and Thanos was a favorite of mine long before the movie. Not because I am a space fascist, but because I enjoy threatening villains and stakes in my stories, unlike certain people.

I just didn’t expect that after all the hype Marvel created for certain heroes over phase 2 and 3, especially Black Panther, they would do something as “radical” and kill as good as 95% of all heroes introduced in phase 2 and 3 off. Wakanda forever? Not according to this movie.

But I digress. Point is, I will give Dobson the following: Yes, the movie’s ending has obviously caused people to have a sad emotional reaction to it, because at the end of the day, we will react with sadness when we see someone we care about die. But guess what: So have many other movies over the course of cinematic history.

 Do I really need to remind people (and by people I mean braindead idiots) of stuff like Jack dying at the end of Titanic and watching the ship sink, Mufasa being thrown off a cliff, that one horse from Never Ending Story in the swamp, certain scenes of “Who framed Roger Rabbit”, that scene of the dog put down in “Marley and &Me” and so on? You know, stuff most of us remember as having watched in our childhood only for us as adults to joke how this shit traumatized us?

Okay, it may have at least to some degree in so far as that we remember those movies in parts because of those scenes. I think there have been a few kids not wanting to go into the water to swim for quite some time after watching Jaws. But guess what: Most people get over stuff like that, because somewhere down the line they realize it is just a movie or that those sad/scary parts are actually in their own way “fun”/good and helped us appreciate the story we watched even more. And all Infinity War is, is just another movie in a long line of such flics, while also being the culmination of a decade long multipart movie project by Disney to get the most profits out of superhero movies possible.

Furthermore, I doubt there is or ever was going to be everlasting damage, seeing how “Endgame” was going to happen anyway and has been out for almost two years. Meaning all the “drama” of Infinity War in 2018? Dealt with. All the people that turned into dust are alive again and well thanks to the Dragon Balls- I mean Infinity Stones, which is more than can e.g. be said about Bambi’s mom. So if your kid starts crying because Thanos won when you let them watch Infinity War? Make sure to put Endgame in almost immediately to show them their heroes are not dead. Just hope the kid is not a fan of Iron Man or Black Widow, cause they are the only superheroes of the bunch who are going to join Old Yeller and Co in the everlasting realm of fictional character deaths to “fuck up” your kids.

Which btw is the other thing worth pointing out: See, I can imagine kids having the most negative reaction to watching the Snap play out. Because most kids will not know as many media as adults and are on average not exposed to as much violence or “traumatic” events in the stuff they watch/consume or in real life (hopefully). And lets face it, Infinity War has some “brutal” scenes in it. Thanos choking Loki, Thanos getting stabbed, Thanos getting an axe in his torso, Thanos throwing Gamora of the cliff, everyone getting blown with the wind etc.

But the way Dobson words it, he believes that adults too will react to it negatively, to the point they may need therapy. To which I say, no. If most children can deal with Infinity War, so will even more adults. Personally I think the only person “traumatized” by Infinity War was Dobson himself, because if his history in regard of movies and media he consumes is any indication, he is a pantsy who likely pisses his knickers at animated Halloween specials despite being now almost 40.

Even others called him out on it, but Dobson, the manchild that he is can’t acknowledge that he may have overreacted to it and still believes this movie is a horrifically traumatic experience, based on some youtubers overreacting for the sake of clicks.

Last but not least, where was that kind of reaction by Dobson when Man of Steel came out? You know, the movie where the fight scenes in Metropolis were actually called out by many people in the media of being triggering for people who experienced 9/11.

Seriously though, if Dobson thinks Infinity War’s ending is traumatizing, I just have to ask the following things:

a) how many mainstream western comics has he actually ever bothered to read, cause on average even worse shit can happen in them to heroes than seen in Infinity War (just ask people who read “Cry for Justice”)

b) if Infinity War is already that traumatizing for you, how did you expect to ever be a decent story creator yourself, cause obviously you can’t see characters actually suffer? Except of course when they are straight males abused by redhead pirates.

c) Just as a personal opinion: Better turn into dust than to be inflated and popped, Catty!

#marvel #infinity war #mcu #Andrew Dobson #so you are a cartoonist #adobsoncomic #adobsonartworks #adobsonartwork #seriously? #what a manchild #ptsd #Tom Preston

[h3llostrang3r]

Hands to Myself (ROD)

Logan x Marley Word count: 522 Note: I am filing this under “Drunken Drabble” - thanks tequila!! This is a rewrite of the chapter two Diamond scene

The music thumps loudly in her ears, the air is hot and humid in the center of dancing bodies, but the wind offered a cool breeze against her face. Every couple is impossibly close to one another, her heart beats faster than she imagined that it possibly could. Her eyes locked with his as she hesitantly stepped closer to him. 

“I don’t bite. Not unless you ask nice.” 

His words makes the heat rise to her cheeks, and before she can respond his strong hands are on her hips. Their thighs touch, her bare skin rubbing against his jeans. The sensation causing the warmth spread down to her chest, she’d never felt this way before. She wanted more... she craved more of Logan. 

“This is really close.” Her voice almost shaking, her nerves being overstimulated with every passing second. 

“Move with me. Feel the beat.” 

A sigh escaped her lips as his fingers pressed into her skin, moving them both to the rhythm of the music. His movements seemed so effortless, she bit her lip as she struggled to keep up. 

“You’re overthinking this.” 

My life story - she thought to herself. His calloused fingers brought her chin up to meet his gaze, and he offered a comforting smile. For a moment she held her breath as he brought his forehead to hers. Don’t forget to breathe, Marley. 

“Just do what feels natural.” The rush of heat reached her lower belly, and urges she had never felt before overcome her. Just let yourself go, Marley. 

Uncertain at first, she brought herself to loop her arms around his broad shoulders, her breasts now up against his chest. Friction of their two bodies sending waves of pleasure throughout her. Her head dizzy from the scent of him and the thought of his lips so tantalizing close to hers. His hand reached the small of her back, somehow bringing them even closer. 

She closed her eyes and let herself fall into the moment with the music as her guide, savoring the feel of Logan. Instinctively, her fingers snaked through his hair - gently guiding his face closer to her. His breath now hitting the bare skin of her neck as their faces touched. How easy it would be to nip at his earlobe or turn her cheek and brush her lips against his - they didn’t even have to kiss, the tease would be fulfilling enough… for now. 

On his command she bends back, his gaze falling on her neck and chest. Thoughts of kissing a trail down her jaw and her exposed skin filling his mind. Her one hand holds tight onto Logan’s forearm - his muscles flexing as he  guides her. Never letting his grip waiver he brings her back up to him. Her free hand pressed to his chest, was his heart beating as fast as hers? The music winds down and the world around them no longer a blur. Both out of breath, and exchanging glowing smiles. Adrenaline coursed through her veins, her legs still slightly shaking, her extensive vocabulary failing to form a sentence. 

Marley Martinez just had her very first dance. 

“Wow.” 

#playchoices #choices #ride or die #logan x mc #rod #h3llostrang3r writes

[chocoholicannanymous]

The Trick Is to... (Glee)

Disclaimer: I own nothing except an overactive imagination and way too many plotbunnies.

Episode revamp of “A Katy or a Gaga”, where hypocrisy and injustice are exposed. (Yes, I got angry. Who could ever have guessed?)

The Trick Is to...

“I'm sorry, Marley, but you're suspended for the rest of week.”

The words echo in her head as she walks through the school. Suspended. She's never been suspended in her life, and now Mr Schue's suspending her for not wanting to waltz around in a seashell bikini?

Marley doesn't know whether to be angry or start sobbing. And then it hits her. She's been assuming he meant Glee, but what if he meant an actual suspension? What if she's suspended for real?

Being barred from Glee is going to put her behind for Nationals, which is bad enough, but being suspended from school will go on her permanent record, and can potentially cause trouble for years. Marley knows she won't be going to college without a perfect GPA, and the kind of record that gets you scholarships. She also knows that a suspension can get in the way of that.

As the panic rises she starts walking towards the dining hall, wanting her mom, only to stop halfway there. Her mom works so hard, and the last thing she needs is more stress. Better to try and work it out on her own, preferably without her mom ever having to know.

Only she can't do this on her own, and there's really no one she trusts to help her. Two months ago would have been different, but... She swallows down another sob.

Without really thinking it through she pulls up her phone and hits a number she's never called before, hoping to get an answer.

“Hello?” The voice in the other end sounds questioning and slightly suspicious. It also sounds a bit different than she remembers. “Look, if this is a prank call...”

“Kurt? This is Marley, Marley Rose from–”

“From McKinley, and New Directions.” Kurt's voice is sliding back to the higher tones she's used to, and is beginning to sound a bit warmer. “Yes, I remember you. Not to be rude, but I'm a bit surprised to have you call me. Has something happened?”

She hesitates, suddenly doubting herself. Maybe she's overreacting. Just... And so she finds herself telling Kurt the whole story, up until the sad conclusion.

“...and I don't know what to do, and I didn't know who to talk to, and I just miss Finn so much!” She can barely breathe as she chokes out the last words. “He would never have done this.”

He wouldn't have, she knows it. Marley remembers Artie being uncomfortable with the calender back at Christmas, and how Finn dealt with that, and she just knows that not only would he never have pushed for her to wear the bikini, or suspended her for refusing, but also he never would have let Mr Schue do it either.

“Marley, honey, did you call me because you couldn't call Finn? Because if you did, then that's okay. Really. I'm honored that you'd let me stand in for him.

“So. Take a deep breath. Do you need to blow your nose? I'll wait.”

Once she's blown her nose – because yes, she really needs it – and taken a drink of water Marley picks up her phone again and tries to apologize for breaking down on Kurt.

“Nonsense. No apologies necessary. It sounds like you have every reason to be upset. Now, what you're telling me is that Sam, Artie, Blaine and Mr Schue tried to push you into wearing a bikini in school, and when you weren't comfortable with it they not only refused to listen but also berated and punished you? Am I understanding it correctly?”

It sounds so harsh like that, but Marley can't deny that that's what happened.

“Right. So what do you want from me? Do you want advise, or do you want more tangible help? Because I can do both. Oh! Have you talked to Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester yet, by the way?”

“No, I– It's her husband, you know?”

“Marley? I know it's tough, but her job is to be there for you as a student. Not to protect her husband. Granted, she doesn't have the best track-record when it comes to the protection part, but she's been doing better.

“Would you like me to call her for you?”

“Would you?” The thought makes her weak in the knees from relief. She's so used to having to fight all her battles on her own, with only her mom on her side, and having someone willing to stand up for her... That is worth more than Marley can express.

Except all things considered...

“Are you sure you want to do this? I am really grateful for you offering, but I'd understand if you changed your mind. I don't want to cause any trouble with you and Blaine.”

“Oh, don't you worry about that. You just keep calm. Keep breathing. I'll be fine. Besides, I'd talk to Blaine about this anyway.”

She can swear she hears him mutter something else, but clearly she must be hearing things. After all, why would Kurt call his fiancé a hypocrite?

O---o--o---O

The next morning there's a message on her phone from Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester asking Marley to come by her office first thing. It also tells her not to worry. Maybe whatever Kurt did worked.

When Marley enters the guidance counselor's office Mr Schue's already there, sitting on one of the chairs and looking less than happy. Marley takes the chair furthest from him, hoping he doesn't notice her pushing it a bit closer to Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester first.

“Thank you for coming, Marley. We're just waiting for a few more people, but they shouldn't be too long.”

They wait in silence. Artie's the first one through the door, with Sam and a sulking Blaine just behind them. And though Blaine might be the only one outright sulking, none of them look exactly happy. Then again, why should they? Marley's pretty sure she doesn't either, and she can see neither of the adults do. The whole thing's an uncomfortable, unpleasant mess.

All she can do is keep breathing, one deep breath after the other, just like Kurt told her, and not just let them steamroll over her because letting them is easier than standing up for herself.

Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester allows the boys to sit down, and looks them over for a little while before starting to speak.

“Unless you boys are clear on it, we are here because of the events in Glee over the past few days. Now, I understand that the three of you were supposed to work on an assignment with Marley and that you were upset with her for refusing to wear the costume you decided on? Now, let me make something perfectly clear.

“In this school– no, nowhere is it okay to push a girl, or a woman, into exposing herself in a manner she is not comfortable with. Marley told you she felt uncomfortable walking around in a bikini, and you should all have listened. That you did not speaks very poorly of the three of you.”

And wow, Marley didn't think Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester was capable of sounding that stern.

“In fact, had she chosen to walk around the school wearing that costume she would have been violating McKinley's dress code. Had a member of faculty seen her she should have, at the very least, been sent home. Depending on circumstances consequences could have been much worse. That in itself would have been reason for Marley to refuse, and for you to accept.

“I am deeply ashamed of all of you. Marley is your teammate. Up until this I would have assumed she was your friend, or that you at the very least would have her back. I cannot even begin to express how much you failed her, even without taking recent struggles into consideration.”

That reference to the eating disorder she'd allowed herself to be stressed into makes Marley want to curl up into a ball and hide, but with both Kurt and Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester going to bat for her she wants to prove worthy of their effort and so she keeps taking deep steady breaths instead.

“Artie. Only a short while ago you backed out of a photo shoot because you felt uncomfortable being topless. Not only were you told your feelings were valid but you were allowed to participate fully clothed.

“Sam. Your first semester here you backed out of your part in 'Rocky Horror Show' because you weren't comfortable with your outfit. You were allowed to do that without hassle, even though there weren't really a backup for you, and you were told it was okay.

“Blaine. While you haven't asked for special consideration on account of body issues,” and wow, that smug look on his face is really off-putting, “you have made your feelings about the use of sex and sexiness as a tool known, loudly and on several accounts. Something about not being for sale, wasn't it?”

The smug look goes away instantly, as if wiped off, and now Blaine just looks like he's swallowing down anger. Sam on the other hand looks like someone's thrown a bucket of ice-water on him. And Marley? All she can think is huh. Apparently Kurt did have reason to mutter about hypocrisy when it came to his fiancé.

“That the three of you, with that background, would completely ignore Marley's concerns quite frankly makes you hypocrites. Now, the school rules don't allow me to punish you for being hypocrites, or being bad teammates. They do however allow punishment when it comes to sexual harassment.”

What? Marley stares at their usually meek guidance counselor with wide eyes and a half-open mouth. She's not the only one.

“Your actions, pushing her to wear such a costume – especially seeing as she's 16 and all three of you are over 18 – could easily have you reported for sexual harassment. In fact, should Marley decide she wants to, I'll help her file that report.”

All three boys sputter at that, with Blaine's voice rising above to claim he could never be sexually harassing her on account of being gay, and Marley...she just sits there stunned.

“Quiet! Now, whether or not Marley wants to make that report is up to her. In fact, it is entirely possible that I'll file such a report myself either way. Regardless I'll be keeping an eye on you going forward, because this kind of behavior is unacceptable and I'm not yet convinced any of you understand this.

“For now, however, you can leave for your classes.”

Sam rises first and goes to opens the door for Artie. Before he gets there it seems Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester has one more point to drive home.

“Oh, and boys? If I find out that any of you harass Marley about this our next conversation will be taking place with your parents present in preparation for a suspension.”

Sam and Artie nod quickly before leaving. Blaine however looks at Mr Schue first, like he's seeking guidance, before giving his own nod, looking both reluctant and petulant. Marley looks at him and winces internally, because something tells her Kurt's going to be paying for this.

“Now, just to round things off, Marley. When it comes to your so-called suspension, Mr Schuester does have the right to bar you from participating in Glee for a period of time, should he feel it warranted. Should it become too extended or permanent you can definitely take it up with either me or Mr Figgins, as no student should be barred from an extra-curricular without actual reason.”

And that tone told Marley clearer than any words that Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester didn't think her husband had reason this time, and that she expected him to back off.

“This however does not mean that you're suspended. Also, there will be nothing in your official file or on your record about this. I would like you to stop by before you go home today, so that you and I can talk privately about this. And finally, Marley? I want you to think really hard about the sexual harassment complaint. I know that it must be hard, considering you're supposed to be a team, but what happened here is not okay and I don't want you thinking it is.

“In fact, you should know that if you want to make an official complaint against Mr Schuester for his part in this mess I do believe you have cause. Whether or not anything will come of it is anyone's guess, of course,” and the words with Sue Sylvester in charge are hanging in the air, “but you do have cause.”

And that's...a lot to think about. Marley says the right things, or at least she tries to, and gets up to leave so that the Schuesters can have what's sure to be a very uncomfortable conversation.

Before she can close the door behind her she hears Mrs Pillsbury-Schuester sigh and tell her husband, in a disappointed voice, that he needs to figure out what constitutes appropriate reasons for suspension and what aren't, because suspending a student for refusing to expose herself while doing nothing when other students fight in the choir room just isn't acceptable.

Marley's even pretty sure she's meant to hear that, which...is a mess she isn't even going to try to unravel. It does give her quite a few things to think about when it comes to Mr Schue.

That's for later though, as is trying to figure out how this'll effect Glee. Now is for walking to her first class, for getting through the day, and maybe for trying to fix things with Jake.

It's definitely for taking Kurt's advice. For straightening her back, keeping her head high and to simply...

keep breathing.

~The End ~

#chocoholic fics #marley rose #emma pillsbury schuester #kurt hummel #relevant cast #episode revamp #not exactly character friendly #in defense of marley rose

[darley1101]

Keeping It Real With Damien and Ava (Perfect Match)

A/N Over the last couple of days I have had requests for the OTP questionaire. I started to write them the way they are usually written: us writers answering the questions for the characters. And then I remembered how much fun I had writing Jenny's blog in my 'Birthday Surprise' one shot for #LoveHacks. The idea of treating each OTP pairing as an interview with Jenny for her blog came to me and it wouldn't go away. I am certain that someone, somewhere, has done something similar so credit for the idea goes to them. Regardless, I hope you enjoy! If not, I will revert back to the traditional manner in which these are done. XOXO -D-

Book(s) Perfect Match; #Love Hacks

Characters: Damien Nazario, Ava Park, Jenny Collins, with mention of other characters

Rating: Mature readers only as there is reference to sexual activity

Warning: This story does contain mention of sexual activity

tagging: @blackcatkita @boneandfur @josieschoices @endlessly-searching-for-you @flynnomalleys @lizeboredom @writtenbycandy @clarissafics @damienazariostan @mfackenthal @tmarie82 @flowerpowell @mrsnazario1223 @kingliamthirst @debramcg1106 @jadedpixiescribbles @penguininapinktuxedo @confessionsofabrokegirl @theroyalweisme @kinkykingliam 

Keeping It Real with Damien and Ava by Jenny Collins

On a daily basis we are bombarded with articles and interviews featuring famous couples who are trying to show the world how normal they are. Don't get me wrong, I think its great that Matt Rodriquez will go through the In and Out drive through to get his fiancee Ashton Jones a large order of french fries with extra ketchup; or that NFL quarterback Chris Powell and his wife Aria's idea of a perfect date is miniature golf. I love knowing that these larger than life people aren't so different from the rest of us; except, you know, their million dollar homes and eight figure bank accounts. Do you know what I love more? Exposing how awesome normal, every day couples can be, because lets face it the average couple isn't going to have the same issues Matt Rodriquez and Chris Powell have with their significant others. That's why I am starting my 'Keeping It Real' series. I want to show case how its not just famous couples that lead interesting lives, but regular couples as well. In the interest of being fair, I will be asking each couple the same questions.

When you know as many awesome couples as I do, figuring out who to interview first can be a bit tricky. As luck would have it, fate stepped in and made the choice form of my hubby Mark making a business trip to New York and inviting me to tag along. While in the Big Apple, I caught up with our friend Ben's sister Ava and her live in boyfriend Damien. We met at this fantastic little cafe near Central Park and over coffee, cronuts, and Damien's leeriness to invite strangers into his relationship (he's a legit private detective guys!) we delved right in to what makes Damien and Ava, the couple, tick! I hope you enjoy getting to know them as much as I did.

First, I just want to thank you guys for doing this!

Ava: Of course! There's nothing I love more than telling world how much I love this big lug! (she elbowed Damien in the side before hugging his arm and pressing a kiss to his cheek)

Damien: And there's not much I wouldn't do for Ava. (He's still a bit tense and leery at this point but willing to give it a try since Ava is so gun ho)

So, inquiring minds want to know how you met. (Its me. I'm the inquiring mind!)

Damien: (this adorable smirk comes over his face) It's kinda funny. I was out having a drink when I seen this little John Lennon wannabe hipster trying to kiss this girl who kept leaning back (he laughs at the memory) and I couldn't just stand there and do nothing.

Ava: (She starts giggling so hard its almost impossible to understand what she's saying) It was awful! My cousin Nadia set me up with him. The whole night he kept asking about how much I made because he needed a woman who could support him and his art. I had no idea how I was going to get out of kissing him when he kept coming at me with his lips like this (she purses her lips into an exaggerated fish pout and starts making kissy noises) Out of no where this guy (she jerks her head towards Damien) shows up and says 'That's my future wife you're trying to kiss!

Me: And you've been together ever since? (they look at each other and start laughing)

Ava: I wish! No, actually I just thanked him and we parted ways. It wasn't until a week later when my cousin Nadia was being stalked by some perverted cartoonist that we connected. And then it was just as friends. (She looks sad for a minute and Damien puts an arm around her)

Damien: We became such good friends that both of us were afraid to say we cared about the other as more than a friend. (He cuddles her closer and I swear my heart just about melted) It wasn't until I thought I might lose her for good that I made my move.

Ava: Excuse me! (She shot him a pointed look) I believe I was the one to make the first move!

Damien: (Laughing and throwing his hands up) Okay, okay, Ava was the one who actually made all the moves that resulted in us getting together.

You guys are too cute! I'm almost afraid to ask this though...who hogs the covers?

(They look at each other and then both answer)

Damien: Ava!

Ava: Me! (she laughs and gestures towards her body. She's super tiny, with very little body fat) I mean look at me. I literally blow away when the wind gets too strong. It's embarrassing, not to mention annoying. (She lets out a sigh and starts toying with the end of her long fishtail braid) I can never get warm enough in the winter. It's awful.

Damien: You should see her. She'll come to bed wearing this ugly thick socks, leggings, and this hideous sweatshirt that goes to her knees. (He gives her a bemused look) One of these days I'm going to burn it.

Ava: (gasps) You better not!

Damien: Don't worry, I will keep you warmer than that ratty old thing ever could. (He cuddles her again and I swear to God Mark you better be taking notes! I need cuddles like this in my life!)

I just want the record to show I don't support burning Ava's sweatshirt. (I say this while laughing) Next question. Hopefully this one doesn't result in threats: who texts or calls the most to check in throughout the day?

Damien: I think its about equal. (He seems a little hesitant while saying this)

Ava: (She raises one of her brows) Are you sure about that? (She then looks at me, smiling) He's not wrong, but it sort of depends on what's going on. If I'm working on an article and I know I have a deadline approaching, I tend to loose myself in my writing. (She smiles at me again) I'm sure you know how that is!

Me: (nodding) Absolutely!

Damien: Alright. Fine. I tend to text or call Ava more. I used to be a cop and am currently a private investiagtor, so I've seen some scary shit. (He shoots me an apologetic look) Is it okay to say that? Or is your blog one of those PG ones?

Me: (laughing) My last blog was about how to achieve orgasm while pregnant. I don't think a little curse word like shit is going to offend my readers. (The look on his face when I tell him about my last blog is priceless. His tan skin turns this adorable red color)

Damien: (he's shifting around now, like he's a little nervous.) Uh right. Well, like I said, I tend to do most of the random check in's...

Ava: But not always. Sometimes I'm the one with the free time and I blow up his phone.

Damien: Which is not cool when I'm trying to stake out a potential cheater.

Ava: (shrugs) What can I say? I'm needy. But (she grins at him and squeezes him around the waist) you know I love you!

You guys are literally the cutest! Speaking of cute...lets talk gifts! Whose the most creative when it comes to gift?

Ava: (she blushes a little) We both really suck at buying gifts.

Damien: Its true. My last gift to her was an iron because she said she was tired of paying extra at the laundry. (I can't help but wince. Guys, irons are not romantic gifts)

Ava: And my last gift to him was a years supply of notebooks and pens. (She has the decency to look at her cronut)

Boy, you guys weren't kidding when you said you both sucked at giving gifts! (The both nod at me, laughing)

(Ava enjoying her tea after we left the cafe)

We take a slight break while Damien goes to answer a phone call from a client and I take my pregnant butt to the bathroom. When I return, Ava had ordered us some boba tea and these little spinach quiches that are almost too cute to eat. She gives me a sheepish look and admits she's basically a bottomless pit and needed more to eat than the cronut she'd devoured during the first part of our interview. We decide to go ahead with a few easy questions while Damien soothes a client. She tells me about him being an early riser and her sleeping like the dead until noon. We laugh over Damien being a sap during movies about animals, especially if the animal lead dies.

Ava: He cried like a baby during A Dog's Life and Marley and Me. (She peeks over her shoulder to be sure he's still on the phone) And you should see him at the end of Old Yeller.

Things are going so well, I decided to just go for the big guns!

So...Ava...between us girls who suggests new things in bed?

Ava: (her cheeks flush a little) That's a tough one because we're both open to trying to things. If I read an article or Damien hears or sees something during a stake out. (She's really blushing at this point) Lets just say we both like keeping things interesting.

Damien: Sorry for that. (He sits down and I catch him up. He's a little embarrassed that Ava outed him for getting misty eyed during animal flicks but gets her back) Did she tell you about her handcuff kink?

Ava: (At this point she's the same color of red as the crop top she's wearing.) Damien!

Any chance you like to give her a massage or two while she's cuffed? (I'm such a bad girl! I even winked. Who wouldn't after an announcement like that!)

Damien: Not the sort we're going to talk about here. (He actually winked back at me! He's definitely lightened up and gotten into the spirit of things) Besides, Ava's the one whose good at massages. She'll surprise me at work with Gray Papaya hot dogs and a shoulder massage.

Me: That's sweet! (Note to self, I need to surprise Mark with hot dogs and shoulder massages at work. Well, maybe not the hot dogs because San Fran doesn't do a dog the way New York does)

Ava: He's always so tense! I can't help it!

Does that sweetness cross into nursing him while he's sick? Or...

Ava: (Covers her face with her hands) I'm the worse when it comes to being sick.

Damien: Let her contract a simple cold and she acts like its the Ebola virus and she's on the verge of death.

Ava: (She drops her hands and scowls at him) I'm not that bad! (He looks at me and mouths that yes, she is that bad. God, these two are cracking me up!)

Lets talk jealousy.

Ava: (She looks at Damien, an amused look on her pretty face) Yes, Damien lets talk jealousy!

Damien: (This time he's the one blushing!) It was an honest mistake!

Ava: (She looks at me, trying not to laugh.) You know my brother Ben? (I nod as Ben is a dear friend) Well he showed up unexpectedly one day and naturally I was super excited-

Damien: Come on, Ava, do we really need to tell people about this?

Ava: You tackled my brother to the ground for hugging me because you thought he was some guy trying to cop a feel! (I have to cover my mouth so Damien doesn't see me laughing)

Damien: I didn't realize he was your brother! All I seen was some schmuck with his hands on my girlfriend! (he looks at me) next question please?

Sure (I am openly laughing now) how about something fun. Like who has the most embarrassing taste in music.

Ava: (She's adopted this stoic look and keeps clearing her throat)

Damien: Five words. (He shoots Ava a sly look) New Kids On The Block. (Ava groans and buries her face in her hands as Damien starts making oh, oh oh, noises.) You got the right stuff...(he elbows Ava) baby...

Ava: Please stop.

Damien: I love the way you (he's cut off by Ava placing her hand over his mouth)

Ava: Okay, fine, so I might have a few New Kids On The Block songs on my play list but you...(she jabs Damien in the chest with her finger) you like to listen to the Pussycat Dolls!

Me: Hey, I listen to PCD! (It's true. I have at least five of their songs, plus I seen them in concert)

Damien: There. You see. Nothing wrong with a little PCD. (We fist bump at this point and I feel like I've officially made a new friend for life.)

I'm almost afraid to ask if either of you collect anything unusual.

Ava: Do robots count? (They share a laugh and a look that has me thinking there is more to this story than meets the eyes.)

Damien: Ava has trolls.

Ava: (if looks could kill, I'm pretty sure I would be performing CPR on Damien right now) You leave my trolls out of this. (She looks at me.) Yes, I have trolls. My grandma collected them and when she passed away we each got to pick our favorites. I don't collect them though. They're around for sentimental reasons.

So...real talk...who takes the longest to get ready?

Damien: Believe it or not, I do.

Ava: I can take a shower, do my hair and make up, get dressed, and he's still perfecting his hair style.

Damien: Hey, it takes work for hair to look this good! (Let the record show that Damien really does have fantastic hair!

Does that mean he's the more organized and tidy of you two?

Ava: Ha! (She bursts out laughing so loud other guests in the cafe turn to stare.) Damien's idea of organized is keeping his fast food wrapper pile to the left of his desk.

Damien: You'd think, given my job, that I would be more organized. (He frowns slightly) Okay, let me rephrase that. When it comes to cases, I'm very organized. Personal space...not so much.

With the 4th of July having just passed, I need to ask: whose the most excited about holidays?

Ava: Neither of us? (She shrugs) Don't get me wrong, we love Christmas and Thanksgiving as much as the next person but we don't really go all out. I think that's mostly because my cousin Nadia never does anything halfway and we sort of just know she's going to go all out...so we just enjoy her efforts.

Damien: Yeah. I would have to agree with that.

Aw that's kind of a bummer. (But it explains why Ben doesn't really do much during the holidays other than show up for dinner) Cheer me up. You guys are clearly very cuddly with each other. (They're cuddled up again and I'm telling you Mark, they've built up expectations that you must live up to!) Whose the big spoon and whose the little spoon?

Ava: We do enjoy our cuddles. (She lays her head on his shoulder, their fingers twining together. I'm seriously jelly right now) During the summer, I'm the big spoon. Damien doesn't like to be hot, so he tends to throw off the covers, which leaves me freezing, so I have to cling to his back in an effort to stay warm.

Damien: So she claims. (He chuckles, his eyes twinkling) What about all those nights I've kept you warm by wrapping you up in my arms, huh?

Ava: You interrupted me before I could get to that! (She looks at me and rolls her eyes.) Men! I swear. (She rolls her eyes again) Before the big baby has a melt down...he's the big spoon in the winter. My own personal space heater. (She presses a quick kiss to his lips) There. Happy now?

Damien: I'm getting there....

You guys are both very competitive aren't you?

Ava: I'm really not. If I play a game a game, I play for fun. To me, its not about winning, it's about fun. It's why I was never any good at spots.

Me: What about you Damien? Are you in it to win it or just having fun?

Damien: I hate losing, that's all I'm going to say.

Does that carry over into arguments? (They both stare at me in surprise before laughing)

Ava: Not really. We bicker a lot. Sort of like we've done here, today, but we don't really have arguments.

Damien: More like disagreements that get heated...and occasionally the police show up.

Ava: One time! (she looks mortified that he brought up the police being called. Meanwhile. I'm thrilled that he's comfortable enough to do so) And I know it was your neighbor Mrs. Godowlski. (She looks at me) He made mad so I dropped a water balloon on his head from the window and the old biddy called the police saying I was throwing things at him.

Yikes! Sounds like your neighbor is a real winner there Damien. (He shrugs but there's a smirk on his lips) Anyways, Ben was telling me  you guys have the cutest little dog. Whose idea was it to get a pet?

(Tell me that Buddy is not the cutest dog ever?!)

Ava: I don't think we really decided to get a pet so much as Buddy happened and it was love at first sight.

Damien: He was this little stray who hid under the bench outside my office building. One night Ava, was able to get him to come to her and he's been with us ever since.

That is awesome. Rescues make the best pets.

(They both agree with me and take another break. This time so Ava can respond to the twenty texts her cousin Nadia has sent. Hm. That could be a good blog, right? How many texts is too many texts...and how to stop yourself from sending them.) Damien and I briefly chat off the record about why I'm doing this and he even goes so far as to say he thinks its a cool idea. Thanks, Damien, I think its a cool idea too. I ask him how he keeps things romantic and he melts my heart by saying every night he stops by a local flower cart and picks up a single sunflower. “Some days my job is really dark. I spend a lot of time breaking up marriages...” I have to stop him here and remind him that he doesn't break up the marriages, the actions of the cheating partners do. “Okay, you're right. My point is, Ava's smile can take the worse day and make it better. Sunflowers make her smile.” He just gives this little shrug, as though he has not clue how freaking sweet that is.

(I managed to talk Damien into one silly picture)

Ava: And I'm back. (She drops into her seat next to Damien and grins apologetically) Sorry, if I hadn't answered she would have started calling and none of us want that!

Its cool. (I consult my notes to see where we had left off) So...what traditions do you have?

Ava: You mean like couple traditions? (I told her that yes, that was exactly what I mean) Well, Damien likes to bring me sunflowers every day...does that count?

Me: Most definitely!

Damien: We have a joint Pinterest and once a week, I will pin a meal I want her to cook.

Me: Ava's a good cook?

Damien: Oh yeah. (Ava blushes but doesn't refute what he's saying. I kind of want to invite myself over for dinner right now) I burn water.

Any tv shows you guys like to watch while eating those Pinterest inspired meals?

Ava: Oh! Yes! (She squirms around, all excited) We both love watching this show called The Social Season. Its kind of like a telenovela. (She squirms again, her cheeks flushed) Its about this girl named Eliza and....oh gosh Jenny you just have to watch it! (She squeals when I tell her that I do watch it. How could I not? It's just that good!)

Damien: It is pretty good. (He looks embarrassed to admit that he watches a trashy romance series but I tell him he has nothing to be ashamed of. I tell him that Mark likes this drama known as Consequences of Secrets, which seems to put him at ease.)

Are these meals and shows watched alone or do you invite over other couples?

Damien: We spent a lot of time with Ava's cousin Nadia and her...boyfriend...Steve, as well as our friends Sloane and Hayden.

Ava: Yeah, we try to get together at least once every two weeks for dinner and games.

Damien: Drinking games

Ava: Not always! Sometimes we play monopoly.

Damien: While drinking.

We spend a few more minutes chatting and make plans for dinner later that evening. They want to introduce Mark and I to Ava's co-worker Lucy and her soon to be husband Flynn, as well as Flynn's sister Kate and her boyfriend Grant. Of course I jump at the opportunity. Who knows...maybe my next blog will be about one of them!

A/N Do you guys enjoy this method of answering the OTP or do you want me to go back to regular style? Let me know in a comment or reblog! Want to know more about Ava and Damien's favorite “shows” check out the fics: The Social Season and The Consequences of Secrets. Also, I  currentl have requests for Flynn x Lucy, Jamison x Adam (AME) and Becca x Zig but anyone would like to see other couples ‘interviewed’ like this let me know!

#otp answers #choices perfect match #choices lovehacks #choices damien nazario #choices damien x mc #long post

[reiner-is-back-bitches]

Two Halves of a Whole~~ A Reiner Braun X OC Fanfic~~ #10~~ MAJOR SPOILERS

I woke up the next morning before dawn. Rayne was close to my chest, her arms tucked in. I have never seen her so peaceful. Her features were relaxed, her mouth wasn't turned down in a scowl and her forehead wasn't furrowed with worry. I smile at her. I was so glad she would never see me for what I really was. If I ever had to expose myself, it would be far away from her. I couldn't stand to think of what she'd say if she found out I was the Armored Titan. She started to stir in her sleep and I looked down at her. I was starting to worry she was having one of her nightmares.

Before we settled down for the night, I had asked her about it but she wouldn't tell me anything. I could understand that, some things are just too personal and I'd be a hypocrite if I started to go off on her about keeping secrets.

"Reiner," I heard her say. I looked back down at her but she was still asleep. I couldn't begin to understand why she would be saying my name in her sleep. Then it dawned on me, she was dreaming about me. I held her closer to me, taking in as much of her as I could. I couldn't hurt her, she finally had her guard down and I didn't want to be the reason that she had to build up walls again. I laid there with her, until the sky began to turn gray with the rising sun and her hazel eyes looked into mine.

/

Breaking down camp took a lot less time than I thought and before I knew it we were on our way back to base. Rayne seemed so much different today than yesterday. She was actually smiling and willing to talk to me about anything. I began to wonder if I was the cause. I had to be, maybe finally coming to terms with her feelings about me made her open up her world.

We got back to base and were of course the first ones to arrive. Rayne quickly ran to where the the commandant was standing and gave her salute. I knew she was explaining the situation of the wolf and deer and the commandant seemed to be impressed. Well, if he was he didn't show it. I also notice him pointing out the bruised side of her face. I wonder if I would be punished for striking a fellow cadet out of anger. When she came back to me, she seemed excited.

"The commandant commended us on thinking of our fellow cadets, he wasn't too pleased when I told him that I fought that wolf and got wounded in the process but he said it just goes to show what some cadets are capable of." I gave her a confused look.

"You didn't tell him," I felt my cheeks get red in embarrassment. "about our fight?" She gently ran a finger over my hand.

"No, the official story about my face is that I hit a tree when the wolf lunged. That's all anyone will know." I smiled at her and she smiled back, turning away. I threw down my gear and started to unload the carcasses to take them to the commandant. I watched her head to the far end of the small clearing to set up her tent. It was her idea to set up our tents on opposite sides so we could avoid unwanted attention. After a while, more cadets started to arrive and I notice Rayne walk up to Mikasa. I saw Mikasa cradle Rayne's face in her hands and start asking about the bruise. Rayne playfully shook her off and began to hug her and Armin. I couldn't help but grin at her and they way she started talking with her friends. She was a different person, and I think I was, too.

xxxxxx

I couldn't put my finger on it but something was different with Reiner. He talked to people with a light in his eyes. Until I found out what was going on, I couldn't trust him. He went into the woods with Rayne and when they came back they were both different, too different. Reiner's cheeks seemed to be slightly bruised, his nose a bit swollen and Rayne also had a huge bruise on her face.

I know what made that bruise. I didn't believe the whole wolf story. I've known Reiner long enough to know that he doesn't get angry easily but when he did, no one was safe. He slapped her. She made him mad, did something or said something and she paid for it.

So why was she still sneaking glances at him? Why would he grin at her when he thought no one was watching? I began to think about what this could mean. Either, they just came to friendly terms or something worse happened out there. My guess of course, was the latter.

Reiner is a damn fool. Is he so willing to let everything that we have been working so hard for just fall apart? Is he actually making friends with these devils?

"Hey, Bertolt." I looked down and saw Rayne. She was offering me a bowl of some stew. "Here you go," she smiled at me and I gave a smile back.

"Thank you. That was a really cool story about how you took out that wolf. And you got an injury to go with it." I pointed to her face and she just laughed.

"It's not so bad, luckily it was just this bruise and not something more serious." I flashed another fake smile and really looked at this girl.

Who the hell was she? How was she able to steer Reiner, one of Marley's most loyal warriors, off his course? What was she playing at?

"Well, I better finish handing out soup to everyone. Don't hesitate to get seconds alright? There's plenty." She smiled as she turned away from me and as soon as I saw her back, my frown returned. I began to scan all the faces in my view for Reiner. As I suspected he was staring at her, smiling at how she was going around talking to everyone, almost like he was proud.

He saw me staring at him and his face fell. I gave him a look, one that I knew he understood perfectly.

Tonight I was going to get to the bottom of this.

I'm sure he would hate for some tragic accident to befall Rayne.

xxxxxx

That night everyone went to bed with a full belly and we had Rayne and Reiner to thank for it. Eren couldn't get enough of her wolf story, begging for every single detail. She was happy to oblige to Eren and anyone else who asked. She must've told the story over a hundred times. It was nice to see her smile like that. I had known Rayne since that fateful day in Shiganshina. Despite being like family to Eren, Armin and myself, she never fully let her guard down almost as if she was afraid we would turn our backs on her or worse, betray her triust.

I kept remembering back to after everyone had a bowl of soup and were gathered in groups to eat. Reiner and Rayne sat apart from each other, but they constantly flitted their eyes towards each other, checking on one another. While Rayne was busy telling Eren the story for the tenth time, I stood and walked to were Reiner was sitting by himself. He greeted me as I approached, scooting over a bit to make room for me to sit next to him.

I noticed a change in Reiner as well. He had always been well liked by all of us, but there was something different. Throughout our training, it seemed like Reiner was just going through the motions, even when it came to interacting with his fellow cadets. Now, he looked people in the eyes when he spoke to them, he started conversations and his laughs were genuine.

"I can't thank you enough, Reiner." I said when I sat down. "You don't know how happy it makes me to see Rayne finally living." He turned to me, but I kept watching Rayne. She was showing Eren, Connie, Marco and Daz how she stabbed the wolf when it lunged and how she ended up with the bruise on her face. "I've been trying to get through to her for years. I'm amazed at how quickly you were able to get her to open up." I turned my head and looked into his eyes. He didn't hide the blush in his cheeks and I saw in his face that the feelings Rayne had were not one sided.

Reiner cared about her, too.

"I care a lot about her." He said, turning away. "I just want her to be happy." I smiled and stood.

"Like I said, thank you."

/

After Rayne was finally able to get to bed, she came into my tent.

"Mikasa, you awake?" She asked, despite already being inside.

"Yes, are you alright? Is your face hurting you?" She brought her hand to cover her cheek.

"No, it's fine. I just wanted to tell you about what happened in the woods. With Reiner." I sat up. "We spent the whole first few hours together fighting. We argued and yelled, it was a nightmare. Then, something happened. I-I kissed him." My eyes widen slightly.

"You kissed him?" I asked, slightly surprised. I knew about the time Reiner kissed her, I practically set that up. But she had been so upset by it, she was shaking when I checked up on her. I had to console her most of the night, she couldn't sleep otherwise. The fact that she willingly kissed him, shocked me.

"I couldn't help it. Like always, you were right. I care about him, quite a bit actually." She looked down at her bare feet. She had scrapes and bruises all over her legs and arms, clearly the extent of her and Reiner's fighting. "I just wanted to know why he made me feel the way I do. He said he felt the same way. I decided that," She took a shaky breath and I saw tears falling. "I decided that it was pointless to walk through life full of anger and mistrust. If I'm to feel anything, I want to feel what it's like to love and trust and be with someone other than you and the guys." She wiped her face before continuing. "I'm going to start letting people in. Not just Reiner but Sasha, Connie, Bertolt, Marco, Christa and even Jean. Everyone who has ever tried to show me kindness, when I was too blinded by hatred to appreciate it." I smiled at her and took her into my arms, giving her a huge embrace.

"Rayne, I'm so happy for you, and Reiner. I can sense what's going on with you two and I think it's great. I know it won't be for too long but I think the important thing is that you two were able to be together at all. You've come so far and I'm so proud of you." She smiled at me again, the tears flowing from her eyes.

"Thank you," She started to stand and I returned to my bed. "Well, I'll let you get to bed. We still have a long week ahead of us." She left my tent and I laid down, hearing her talking to someone outside. "Sorry, Bertolt. I didn't see you there. Good night."

"Good night, Rayne." I heard him say. I closed my eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep.

#attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #reiner braun #fanfic #fanfiction #oc #reiner x oc

[jammixes-blog]

The Corner Stone

“The things that people refuse are the things that people should use...” - Bob Marley

When you have nothing more to prove, it’s time for others to prove something to you.

There is a Silver Cord that holds the soul of Humankind beyond Heaven and Hell. Its weight is discussable, it’s been estimated to be approximately 22 grams. I agree with the cord idea, but I have had reservations about its weight or physical consistence. I believe that the Body and the Mind should not be neglected, the passing of a human being to other planes is more complex than just the migration of the soul.

According to Rosicrucian tenets, every human being will face her/his weaknesses and short comings, when the heart stops. Every action, thought, and feeling will have to be accounted for. Thus, since I was aware of it, after a few sleepless nights, two decades ago, I’ve tried to live my life in a way where I don’t have to account for a lot. I respect the cosmogony of Rosicrucians, although I have never officially joined the organized Order.

The only allegiance I have is towards the people I love and who love me.

The most exclusive Lodge in the world is the Heart of Humankind.

The world is a central of energy we can all tap into, Body, Mind, and Soul, freely, from birth.

Don’t discriminate, but, rather, decriminalize.

Words never mean as much as the energy behind them...

Nowadays, sanity has become the business of insane people.

Most people who go to a psychologist don’t have good friends to confide in. Psychologists are just the paid surrogates of these friends, as clueless and ignorant about other human beings as any other person. In a way, psychologists, in my thick book, are lazy scammers. Psychiatrists, on the other hand, have some legitimacy. That’s because Psychiatry is not based on subjective opinion.

A good alternative to the fraud that is the lucrative business of psychology is clubs of people who need friends to talk to and exchange perceptions with.

Most psychologists talk a lot, but know very little.

Psychology is not a science, it’s a business. A psychologist will always find something wrong with every human being. I find everything wrong about psychology, it’s a con to make money or legitimize the perception of the hand or corporation which feeds it. If all psychologists analyzed each other, they’d all end up in a psychiatric ward...

I didn’t shoot the evil sheriff, but I’d be delighted to put him and his Vice behind bars...

What is can’t be changed, but, what will be can still be worked on...

Let the future be the leap that your feet can take.

A smile, from another human being, is a reward in disguise.

You can hire a team of psychologists, to make sure that there is more confusion than real solutions. Every one of them will have a different opinion, this is how exact the pseudo-science of psychology is. It relies on the completely arbitrary opinion of a common human being, for money. Thus, I’d rather talk weather with them than humiliate them with their ignorance and limited perception of “Reality”. The good ones told me I knew myself better than they do, there was no second consultation. apparently, I’ve been “very normal”, since I was 18 years old, just very cerebral about everything, hence the insomnia and restlessness problems. I need no psychologist, I will politely close my door on any of them trying to be zealous on my account. But, I’ll give them, happily, a free consultation. After all, I did get a 1st in Sociology and Psychology, in Law School, in the UK, with a flawless 80% (100% in the USA) on my essay about Freud’s Unconscious. The essay is in Switzerland, alive, safe, and kicking. I came 1st on Sociology, in my final year, Durkheim’s theory on suicide being my first success, destroying Marxist theory, the second.

For me, Freud was just another philosopher. And, even with that, I prefer Jung. Freud was shooting cocaine, most of the time, when coming up with his fabulous theories. Jung, on the other hand, studied symbols, Geometry, and archetypes... As for Lacan, he is obscure, even to himself, his dialectics were not made to make sense. Subjectively, the medal goes Foucault, he is about the only “Psychologist” I would trust. But, to academia, the Godfather of post-modernism is just a “Sociologist”...

People don’t have mental problems, but society does.

How much love or money do you need to love and respect all other human beings, unconditionally?

The measure of Fairness is Compassion. How Fair are you?

Any leader who tweets like a twat, through a private Silicon Valley corporation, as an official organ of communication, cannot be Good, in any way.

All I’m doing is giving back to the USA and Silicon Valley the change of their nefarious investment, using my privacy, criminally, without my consent to divert the attention of the world from their evil agenda. Now that I’m home, in Canada, I don’t have to protect my life anymore, from every criminal gang in the Bay Area. They tried to intimidate me, beat me up, and discredit me. They got away with stealing all my art, paintings I took months to paint, and was going to sell to survive, stole all my mixes, my computer, and got me beaten in Toronto, within 48hrs of my arrival, back home, after a decade. This would have never happened if my location, at all times, was broadcasted, through criminal channels, which I was shown, as well as hacking mercilessly my phones and computer, making Apple worried and tell me that “officially” they cannot say “hacking”, but would clean my computer. I went to 3 different Apple stores for 2 weeks, daily. Every time, my phone and computer were hacked, as I exited the store. I had proofs, thanks to lil snitch, but they were stolen with my hard drive and computer, in Toronto. There is a chance that I have a back-up in Switzerland. Anyways, I have witnesses for it. It forced me to lose 2 to 3 weeks of work, to finish my portfolio, for a decent job, in Europe or Canada, draining the meagre finances I had at my disposal. I’m not angry, I want damages and reparations from Silicon Valley. Period. And, although the fuckers who can evade billions of dollars of taxes, worldwide, with all impunity, think that one human being alone is not worth worrying about, after making tons of cash on his back, putting his family in distress, and making the planet think it’s ok. If it’s ok for me, then, it’s ok for anyone of you, your parents, your siblings, and your best friends. No human being, refusing to consent to being used should ever be at the mercy of such evil, it’s against every shred of human decency, Justice, and Compassion. It is unacceptable, the criminals have to apologize publicly and pay the damages they owe. I am no entertainment, pawn, or a public figure, without consenting to it. Hiring hordes of mercenary psychologists to get away from it, while leaving me exposed and vulnerable, waiting for me to discredit myself ain’t happening. they are just making the damages heavier on them. There is a precedent, in my family. My Dad told me, 3 months ago, that his Dad, my Grandpa, successfully sued a big corporation that wronged him, at La Hague. I intend to do the same, if I keep being deprived of a decent career, fairly deserved, and my privacy compromised, daily, to make people believe that I am their entertainment, while raping them thoroughly of all their datas, in order to make increasing profits on my life, and try to make the world incentive to being increasingly controlled, with all the means to blackmail and strip every human being of privacy and freedom. This has to be addressed and solved very soon. I can die tomorrow, but, what about the children? Do they deserve to grow in a Brave New World? I, for 1, refuse to let it happen.

[dagripster]

Rose Colored Sunglasses: The Art of Distraction in 2017 Media

A Political Deconstruction behind Katy Perry’s “Chained to the Rhythm”

“So comfortable we’re living in a bubble-bubble so comfortable we cannot see the trouble-trouble, so put your rose colored glasses on…and party on.”

Imagine this: You’re at a house party and you don’t quite know everyone there. You make awkward eye contact with someone you might be attracted to, then pretend you were looking at something else and then check your phone. It’s the art of distraction. So when things get uncomfortable just put on your rose colored glasses.

Katy Perry has been shocking audiences with her Wow! factor whether you’re a fan or not. Admit it: You’re like me. When she pops up on my TV or shows up in my timeline I roll my eyes and scroll past it. When she shows up on my timeline being, well, Katy, I half-smile, nod my head and again—scroll past it. If she’s not singing about kissing other girls or dancing with sharks in a cupcake bra she is distracting us.

Take off your rose colored sunglasses and pay attention to this.

Besides Katy Perry, what else is showing up on your timeline? For me I’m constantly seeing oppression, tragedy and political mayhem apart from whatever 90s sitcom is reuniting for a 2010s remake on Netflix. I’m constantly reading about Russia’s involvement with the 2016 presidential election and Trump’s attempt at running our great country (again, attempt.) He’s provoking foreign world leaders and hurting people who rely on him for answers. Members of the LGBT Community are falling back to the wayside and racism is becoming the social norm again after years of regulation. So you nod when it appears on your timeline like me, and then scroll past it. Maybe you’ll even post a half-assed status update about said topic and carry on with your Spotify Playlist. That’s when you’re putting your rose colored glasses on and enter Katy Perry’s ever ongoing house party located within a white picket fence while the world outside implodes because, let’s face it—this drink is on Katy Parry and we’re all slaves to the rhythm.

She’s trying to tell you something.

If you’re not going to listen to her cry for help, then she’ll gladly continue to distract us by playing your favorite song and putting it on repeat. That’s when the cupcake bra comes out from the closet and forced into your personal space. Remember, the drinks are on her!

Now, I’m no conspiracy theorist but I’ve heard my share of claims and ideas. I’m also not a political writer so please forgive any political sways or mistakes, but there is something here.

“Are we tone deaf? Keep sweeping it under the mat, thought we can do better than that…I hope we can…”

I’m imagining members of the Trump administration running around the Whitehouse trying to cover up any nook and cranny that might expose any leak or flaw regarding Trump’s presidential win. And that includes Russia’s involvement. We know it’s there and we know there was some involvement but we just keep missing our grasp because we keep-putting-on-our-rose-colored-glasses. Throw them out!

We think we’re free, drink! This one’s on me! We’re all chained to the rhythm.

I have a few 21 year old little cousins who all live in New York City. I was born there and moved out to Los Angeles when I was 26 to launch my career. They’re all still in NYC and I’m reminded that they’re 21 whenever I open a platform of social media, whether it’s a video filled with screaming girls doing a shot off another girl or the stereotypical hot guy bartender, or on Twitter where I read a drunk rant about one of their ex-boyfriends. Back in the 70s (now, I’m a product of the late 80s) from what I understand and learned about in history class is that this was the age range that was protesting against Vietnam and the draft. They took a stand and stood up for their country and ultimately helped shape the future of our country by showing Americans that we all do have a voice and if we use it wisely and collectively we can accomplish something! Something is wrong with America again, and we need those same voices. But where or where has everyone gone? When I look around, why do I see everyone look the same? I just can’t put my finger on it? Oh, right. They’re all wearing the rose colored glasses on and partying on. We think we’re free, were in trouble, but thank you Katy Perry! This drink is on you! Sure! I’ll be right over!

When I first heard Chained to the Rhythm on my local radio station in my Uber to work I—say it with me—rolled my eyes. “Another pop comeback,” I thought to myself. Lady Gaga returned in 2016 from her 2013 piece in which the self-proclaimed Queen of the LGBT community was now singing about being the rich bitch, the upper class in a song titled “Donatella.” When news broke of Lady Gaga’s 2013 effort that was called ARTPOP a commercial failure, geez? I wonder why? Because as a gay man myself, I was very excited to hear new poetic justice and raise my arms in a Hallelujahfashion, but instead she sang to us about her new social standing and class. In short, she is better than us. Side-eye emoji. Like Lady Gaga, Britney Spears and everyone else in pop culture, Katy Perry was also staging a comeback. I was never a KP fan…until I heard Chained to the Rhythm. I closed my eyes in the backseat of this random Prius I was riding in and listened to the song my driver was blasting. For some reason rather than glazing over the song, my brain chose to listen to each word as if it were a key or amulet in a Super Mario video game we might need to unlock another level.

I imagined a little boy not unlike the one we saw in the news from Aleppo. He was crying, covered in ashes and alone in this dark gloomy desert that very well could have been America. In this ghost town was Perry’s white picket fenced house. It was burned down of course but Perry emerges from the ashes and cradles the little boy and gives him his own pair of rose colored glasses, where he experiences a world of euphoria with life and vibrant colors. He was alright because he could distract himself from what the real world’s issues were. He’ll be fine as long as he chooses not to remember what happened to his parents by removing his glasses because if he does, mother Perry will be there to remind you to put them back on unless you choose to help. There, there.

…Up in your high place liars! Time is ticking for the empire, the truth they feed is feeble as so many times before, they greed over the people, they stumbling and crumbling and we about to riot they woke up-they woke up the lions!

Perry brings along a friend in this statement piece by the means of Skip Marley, the grandson of Bob Marley where he helps deliver her message. He’s a little more aggressive than Perry is and a lot less subtle. He immediately calls the administration liars in their high places in response to these money laundering thieves that run the Whitehouse. He notes how the time is ticking for this empire (can we call it that?) If this administration isn’t more careful or caught, they’re about to wake up the lions, and these lions are angry…and hungry! But how can we if we’re too distracted by these glasses that, let’s face it-are very pretty and with the right filter can airbrush us on the spot! It could be argued that is what Perry alludes to when she says “Are we crazy living our life through a lens?” in the beginning of the track. We have Bob Marley’s grandson is warning us! This has to mean something.

Are you lonely up there in Utopia where nothing will ever be enough?

Let’s face it—we live in America where the ideology of the American Dream is manifested throughout the world. We were taught even as children that getting a good education after High School can promise us a successful lineage into our adulthood. As millennials can see it is just not that easy anymore, or simple. Unless there is some form of wealth that can afford a Master’s Degree or PhD, I think we’re stuck in this in-between place that is America circa 2017. That is why we created the caricature of a lady called Kim Kardashian. She’s fun, right?! She’s pretty, young, her sisters are silly and we giggle a little when we watch a 6 second clip on one of the many social media platforms created for us. But at night, when the world sleeps and the sunglasses are put away, up there in a Kim Kardashian utopia, it must get lonely and nothing is indeed ever enough.  We struggle to pay off a costly student loan that might not have gotten us where we wanted to be while in moments, a sister is driving a car worth the same amount. And she didn’t have to lift a finger! What fun, right? Let’s sweep this under the mat too because we can do better than that…I hope.

It goes on and on and on… ‘cause we’re all chained to the rhythm.

Perry wraps up her statement piece by singing about the endless loop we got ourselves into. If we keep this up we might not be able to get out. Why? Because we’re all chained to the rhythm.

Next time you log into a social media account or talk to Sarah, the co-worker who likes to talk pop culture over by the water cooler at work, think about the lost little Aleppo boy in that imaginary post-apocalyptic America looking for his parents. We need to take a minute to take off those very pretty rose colored glasses because there is still time to set things right. While we should thank those innovators for creating Snapchat, Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter and even whatever outlet it is you’re reading this from, they just helped give us the voice which we are choosing to ignore and distract ourselves. We need to stand up like the way those “millennials” (for lack of better comparison) in the 70s did and stand up to make our voice heard because at this rate, we’re going to sit back in Katy Perry’s very comfortable recliner in her white picket fence house where she is hosting this nirvana of a party and not move a muscle until these glasses are taken away. Then what do we do? We can’t decide to revolt by then. It might be too late. Many of us might even be gone at that point. Otherwise, Katy Perry will continue to distract us with her cupcake bras and Lady Gaga and Britney Spears will shimmy themselves to death and we will continue to hand a Kim Kardashian-type free cash. Like Katy Perry claims in this 3 minute and 58 second song, she will continue to entertain us if we so choose to distract ourselves otherwise we need to listen to the underlying message in what is in fact entertaining us and do something about it.

Take the rose colored glasses off and save us.

Katy Perry is a product of Capitol Records. “Chained to the Rhythm” written by Katy Perry, Max Martin, and Sia. Produced by Max Martin. Released on February 10, 2017. Available on Apple Music and Spotify

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