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orangelala · 2 days

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ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ

chris sturniolo x reader

summary: you both started off as friends, becoming even closer, and now that chris has finally gotten over his commitment issues with the impact you've made on his life he's sure he wants no one else. what happens when the feeling isn't mutual, or is it?

warnings: angst, some fluff? swearing, pet names (love,ma)

a/n: we are locked in on series time. part two will be out soon!

word count: 1.9k words

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴠᴇʀꜱɪᴏɴ

"i've seen the way he looks at you." she ran the brush through my hair. "it's not in a friend way either."

she was wrong, but it didn't stop my pulse from spiking with anticipation. "how does he look at me?"

fiona smiled. "like he never wants to look away."

"what is that supposed to mean?" "it means he loves you, its so obvious. how could you be so blind?" "if you mean in a friend way, then yes, yes he does" fiona sigh turning me around in the chair. "how long have we been friends?" "since kindergarten" "exactly. i know you better than anyone. preferably better than you know yourself. which means i know you feel the same"

fiona smiles once more before turning me around and grabbing the brush to help do my hair now. as if the discussion was over but was she right? was he really looking at me in a special way? did he actually loved me more than a friend?

she finally finishes up my hair and i put on my outfit for the day. as i walk to my car and get in to drive to the triplets house, i couldn't help but think about what she said. "like he never wants to look away" "like he never wants to look away" what the hell did that even mean? as much as i trust my bestfriend, i feel like she could be wrong about this.

as i reach their house, i gather my purse and some other things stepping out and walking up to the house. knocking on the door, im immediately greeted by nick pulling me into a hug. "hey girl, how are you doing?" "im good nick, and you?" "im great, chris is downstairs, by the way" "how are you sure im not here to see you?" i say catching up to him as he walked to the kitchen.

"so you're here to see me?"nick says putting his hand on his hip giving me a confused look. "yes, ive missed you" bringing him into a hug. "well ive missed you too kid" he says hugging me back. "how was your morning?" "it was okay but nick, you wouldn't believe what fiona had said-" "hey kid, why didn't you tell me you were here?" chris says cutting me off.

"well i was talking to nick, im not just bestfriends with you" i say sarcastically stepping back towards nick. "yeah chris, she's best friends with all of us, if she wants to hang with us because she's tired of you, she can" i couldn't help but burst into laughing from nicks comment. making nick chime in, as i catch my breath i look up and notice chris rolling his eyes.

"well if she's not 'too tired of me' i'd like to steal her for a moment, if that's okay with you" he says looking at nick for what looks like an approval. "go ahead. i'll be right here girl if you need me" nick says pointing at me as well walk away. "i'll keep that in mind, thank you bae!"

"you're not really tired of me are you?" he says opening the door to his bedroom. "of course not, nick was just saying to mess with you. i never get tired of you" i say bringing him into a hug. i felt him smile against me as he hugged me back tight.

"chris?" "yes love?" he says pulling away. "i don't want to interfere in your personal business-" "your my bestfriend, you never interfere. i tell you everything" he smiles, as he reassures me as he could tell the uncomfortableness on my face.

"do you like anyone?" i say startling myself, i didn't mean to say it so quickly. i watch chris's facial expression change. "i was with fiona, and fiona had said" "what did she say?" "well she said you looked at me um in a certain way"

i look away towards the door as i try to comprehend what was going on, was i really about to do this right now? i was taken out of my thoughts as chris takes his hand and moves my head to look at him.

"what type of way is that? he smirks. "in a way that uh, you like me?" "and?" "and well chris is it truth?" i say looking down at my hands. "if it is?"

"chris" i whispered. "your my best friend." "i know what i am," he says against my skin. "what would that, what would that even look like?" "what would what look like?" "oh my god chris, us. fuck. you know us" "so you like me back?" "i never said that, i asked a question"

"what would it be like? what would 'us' even look like? i whisper into again him. "i can show you exactly what it would be like."

i felt him fisting the fabric of my shirt, as if he was stopping himself from doing more. then releasing it and placing his palm to my waist.

"if you were really mine, i'd do this all the time." his long fingers draped around my hip and pushed me against him from the waist down. hot. he felt so hot and hard, branding my skin, even with layers of fabric separating us.

"if you were mine, you'd crave this." he then closed the rest of the distance that separated us very slowly. bringing our bodies flush together with such softness and at such a painful pace that i praised and cursed him at the same time. "you would want it."

but wasn't i doing that?

before i could delve into that, chris's large body shifted, and my back was against a hard surface. he looked at me quite intensely as if he was trying to read me. read my facial expressions but my mind went blank, making my whole body go blank. most importantly my heart.

what am i doing? what was i doing was all that was going through my head. he leans into me, running his hand over my cheek before pulling me into him, closing the space between us completely. i wanted to move. i needed to get out of here, but why was i feeling so safe. why did i feel happy under his touch?

chris places his other hand around my waist before fully bringing his face near mine. his lips were just centimeters away from mine. pulling me in with his hand. our lips had barely grazed. "im sorry, but i can't. im sorry" i say pulling away and grabbing my things.

"wait- what? don't go." "im so sorry, chris," i say choked as tears begin to run down my face. he had looked at me in confusion. it was only seconds later to a minute was how quickly i got out of there.

sprinting in the direction of my car as i walk out the house. i sit for a minute to catch my breath before placing the key in the ignition and starting up the car. it felt as if i could hear his voice around me, i could still see that expression. it was killing. the look he gave me. that look that was pastured on his face when i walked out.

i had finally reach my apartment making me sigh in relief. quickly getting out of car and walking up to my apartment, i couldn't get myself to put the key in the door and step in. i wasn't expecting to come home tonight. let alone be alone.

i stand there, placing a hand on the door before taking a deep breath and turning the key to let myself in. i was the one who did it. he didn't walk out on me, i walked out on him but yet why does it hurt so much.

placing my stuff on the table, i walk in the direction of my room. grabbing some fresh clothing. i couldn't be in his clothes anymore, running my fingers along the end of the shirt and almost staring at it as it reminded me of time he gave it to me. i quickly stopped the flashback that was about to occur as quickly pull it over my head and toss it to the side, along with my shorts.

i walk into the connecting bathroom to turn on the shower, stepping away and looking in the mirror to run my fingers over my cheek, where he ran his fingers over and moved down to my waist. running my hand over the spot repeatedly as if i was still trying to feel his touch.

i felt desperate, needy. craving his touch again. but i know getting out of there was something i needed to do to protect myself. why did it have to be from him? i had no idea but now catching myself in train of thought, i turn around and fully strip my underwear and bra and walk in.

i didn't really remember getting out of the shower and laying down. it had been about an hour later, as i have fidgeted through my sheets. tossing and turning but nothing had seemed to work. there was one thing and one thing only that ran through my mind. that almost kiss and him.

my phone screen lit up my dark room, making me roll over and hesitantly grab the phone. there were multiple missed calls and messages from him.

about to play the first message, i exit out the app and throw the phone on the floor. standing up to catch my breath and placing in my room i hear the door. what seemed like a faint knock only for it to be a bit louder. wiping my eyes, i walk out of my room and towards the front door.

"who is it?" i say clearing my throat as i start to unlock and open the door. "yes? how can i help you- chris?" i say in a very hushed tone. "what are you doing here?" "i wanted to see you, why did you leave? was it something i did?"

"chris, you shouldn't be here" "i know but i want to know why you left, did i make you uncomfortable?" i shoved my hands in my pajama pockets as i take a step back making chris step towards me. "chris please" i beg, as i feel everything inside me tear apart.

"just answer my question please and i'll go. i promise, i just need to know" he said in an almost whisper that rang around my head.

my hands stayed in my pockets; his were at his sides. we weren't touching, not really. i had the sudden, sharp memory of the way his fingers had brushed against mine a few hours before. he bent his face down to my shoulder, his breath slipping through three layers of cloth to warm the skin there.

one of his fingers hooked at the strings of my pajamas and inched me just that tiny bit closer. his nose skimmed up my throat, along my cheek, and i saw none of it. i squeezed my eyes shut as his forehead finally came to rest against mine.

"look at me."

"don't do this," i whispered.

"i don't know what's wrong with me," he breathed out. "i feel like, i feel like i'm losing my damn mind, like your face has been carved into my heart, and i don't remember when, and i don't understand why, but the scar is there, and i can't get it to heal. it won't go. i can't make it fade. and you won't even look at me."

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

tags: @nicksmainbitch @sturniolossss @sturnlova @its-jennarose @freshsturns @luverboychris @canthelpit0 @ghostlypineappl @sturnzsblog @sluttformatt @urfavstromboli @junnniiieee07 @drpepperworshipper @ksturniolo7 @samandcolbyfan22 @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom @h3arts4harry @patscorner @iluvmattyb @mattslovelygf @blahbel668 @mattscoquette @wh0resstuff @crack240

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo #chrissturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #orangelala

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jujumin-translates · 2 days

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★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 1 - New Prologue

Towa: (So this is Veludo Station~. It’s smaller than I thought it’d be. The exit should be this way…)

Towa: (Umm, the map app says…)

Towa: Yeah, over there.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Towa: So this is Veludo Way…

Towa: (This is the heartland of theater, the place with the highest concentration of theaters in all of Japan… all kinds of theater companies, both large and small, are based here.)

Towa: (I’ve only ever seen it in videos, but there really is theater no matter where you look.)

Towa: (It’s amazing that theater continues all the way down the street.)

Towa: And just beyond that is where… the Holy Land…!

Towa: Calm down, calm down. Okay.

*Camera clicks*

Towa: (I’ll let the guys know…)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

momo has entered the chat.

momo: At Veludo Way rn

Iv: congratsss. haven’t seen where you are rn in a hot minute lol

shiki: That’s Veludo Way?

Kar: AI detected

momo: But it’s legit!

Kar: Kinda blurry tho

shiki: Congrats on your long-awaited pilgrimage to the Holy Land! Happy for you!

momo: Haven’t gotten to the Holy Land yet. Gotta calm down first

Iv: lol you’ve gone all that way and still haven’t done that?

momo: It’s called the Holy Land because it’s a sacred place that you can’t just wander into, so it’d be impolite to be too careless about it

Kar: What’s with the sudden essay lmao

Iv: bestie’s trying to hit the nerd count

shiki: You’ve been working hard all this time to get to the Holy Land, so you should enjoy it to the fullest.

momo: I’ll do that!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Bump*

Towa: !?

???: “--Gh.”

Towa: Huh…

Towa: (He’s crouching down? I wonder if he’s okay… is it my fault for bumping into him…?)

???: “The hell are you doing?”

Towa: (Huh? That voice, I think I’ve heard it before…)

???: “C’mon, let me give you a hand.”

Towa: …G-GOD-za’s Haruto Asuka and Shift Arakawa!?

Shift: “It’s no use~... I can’t walk~...”

Haruto: “You drank too much.”

Shift: “My life’s a mess… I can’t even take another step forward…”

Haruto: “Quit overreacting just because you two broke up!”

Towa: (Ah, could it be… this is Veludo Way’s specialty…)

Shift: “I’m not overreacting! I’m always stuck playing a supporting role. At best, I’m just here to be used. I’ll never have a starring role!”

Shift: “If I keep living like this, I’ll just be stuck as a supporting role in someone else’s life.”

Shift: “What’s even the point of living like this…?”

Haruto: “Then live your own life, not someone else’s. The reason you can’t do that is because you put others at the center as the starring role.”

Haruto: “You’re the leading role in your own life. You’re the one who gets to decide what kind of life you live.”

Shift: “I’m the starring role in my own life…”

Towa: (I can’t believe they can do theater like this without a script…)

Towa: (I’ve only ever seen videos of street acts, but they were doing it so naturally. Amazing…)

Haruto: Thank you very much~!

Towa: --.

Shift: Past GOD-za performances are streaming until tomorrow! It’s only for a limited time, so don’t miss out!

*Applause*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Towa: (It was way too lucky of me to be able to see a street act done by GOD-za’s top two here…!)

Shift: Ah, sorry for bumpin’ into ya before.

Towa: !! No! Don’t worry about it!

Shift: See ya.

Haruto: Thanks for watching us~.

*Footsteps*

Towa: Haaah~... I should’ve taken a video…

Towa: (Veludo Way really is the place to see street acts done by a whole bunch of different theater companies.)

Towa: (Maybe I’ll see them too…)

Towa: (No way, it’d be impossible to have that kind of crazy luck two times in a row, but, but, what if I really did meet my oshi…)

Towa: --.

*Paper rustling*

Towa: (It’s something that’s way too good to ever actually happen, but I’ve decided that in the unlikely event that I do meet him, I’m going to make sure I get him to autograph this.)

Towa: (My most treasured possession…)

Towa: Ah, wait, did I bring a pen to get his autograph…

Towa: (Huh, I don’t have it. Did I seriously forget it~?)

*Wind blows*

Towa: Ah--!

*Paper falls to the ground*

???: …?

[ Next Part ⇢ ]

#a3!#a3! translation #towa ichinoe #haruto asuka #shift arakawa #// i love towa so much bro is living his best life as y/n

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catscidr · 19 hours

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Could we get some Dottore x escaped experiment reader? Gn if possible, doesn't even have to be smut. I just can't find anything along those lines and I like your writing style :)

i. note — hehehoho i might have uuuhhh used this ask as an excuse to go off a lil and try something new teehee °ᗜ°) but this was really fun to write!! thank you nonnie for the suggestion, and thank you very much for liking my stuff enough to req something!!! i hope u all enjoy ii. includes — dottore, gn!reader iii. cw — unhealthy and toxic dynamics, no dialogue, mentions of cannibalism, mild body horror, one (1) dead body, not quite stockholm syndrome but maybe kinda, reader is a mess and dottore is not a good person (shocker). minors do not interact. iv. wc — 2k

To humans, running is what they do when they’re late to work, when they’re working out, or even when they’re playing games at recess as children. To predators, running is what they do in order to secure their next meal. To prey, running is what they must do so they can escape from the predator’s clutch in one piece, to not end up as a mangled corpse serving as someone or something’s food.

You have more in common with prey than you have with humans, despite being one yourself.

It hasn’t always been that way. One moment you were enjoying the warm afternoon sun of your home region out on a walk, and the other you found yourself thrown over someone’s shoulder with a bag over your head.

You always find yourself reminiscing, yearning to feel the warmth you felt that day— minus the incident. You used to be a model citizen; someone people would rely on.

A shame no one helped you when you desperately needed it.

Your own mind is all you’re left with, as you’re clumsily tripping over your feet, rocks scraping your skin and blood trickling down your legs. The feeling is almost peaceful; but after running for so long, and with how often you’ve gotten yourself in this exact situation, you’re starting to second guess your motive for running in the first place.

Is it a form of entertainment, are you growing bored of the four padded walls engulfing your five senses at all hours of the day that you feel the need to get the energy out of your body like a hamster does by using the wheel in its cage? Is it to leave the predicament you found yourself in after trusting someone you, under no circumstances, should have trusted?

Or is it because you gradually have come to find yourself sharing more similarities to a dog, begging its owner to even unenthusiastically throw a plastic frisbee for a smidge of attention to fulfill your need to be seen, to be heard, and now you feel the responsibility to own up to that label you inflicted upon yourself?

The lines between reality and your thoughts have blurred so much it frightens you.

...Or, rather, it should scare you. After spending so much time in your own head, one would find that it’s surprisingly easy to come to distrust your own mind. You’re not sure if you should believe what goes through your head, even less believe what you feel. But at the same time, you’re all you have. You have no choice but to trust yourself, even when you shouldn’t.

Only a select few are aware of how dreadfully strong and outright stubborn the human mind can be, whether it be from their own personal experience or from seeing others slip into a state like yours.

Unfortunately for you, He’s familiar with your situation. Painfully familiar.

…

Sometimes you wish you were a luna moth. Delicate and radiant, people would be torn between praising you for your beauty and shunning you away for the crime of looking different than what they’re used to. You wouldn’t be a butterfly, would not conform to what society wants you to be. You would be able to be who you want, look however you want to without worrying over other’s opinions.

The people that did like you, though, would treat you with care and would do everything in their power to make your stay in this world a pleasant one. A stay that would only last a week.

Not long enough for you to become familiar with the horrors that await humanity. Seven days filled with nothing but genuine smiles, void of empty promises.

You’d crawl out of your cocoon, eat good food, find someone to help continue your bloodline, then die somewhere peaceful and hope that your crumbling, decomposing body will bring relief to someone desperately needing something to eat.

But you’re not a moth.

…

It’s unbearably cold when you come to your senses. Peeling your eyes open, you glance around to find yourself surrounded by cold limestone, barely illuminated by the cave’s entrance just a few feet away. The hairs on your skin rise from the wind guiding snow through the passageway, making you curl into yourself in a pathetic attempt to keep your body’s temperature from dropping too low.

You look down at yourself; your pants are ripped at the hem, and you see messy splotches of brownish red staining the fabric and your skin, going all the way down to your calloused feet. You’re not sure how long you’ve been out for, but it must have been at least an hour given how the bleeding from the numerous scratches and gashes on your legs stopped without any assistance.

The cave felt completely foreign to you, but even then, it brought you more comfort than He had. Or at least you think it does.

You feel free. Despite the way your body shivered endlessly from the wind howling into the cavern, despite the dull but searing pain that made it feel like your feet were scorching that traveled up your legs, despite the way you couldn’t move your lips from how dry and cracked they were, split from sheer cold.

You think this is the most freedom you’ve felt since you’ve gotten yourself stuck in His maw.

...

The wind is reduced to a soft, soothing melody when you wake up again. Almost calming enough for you to drift off to sleep a second time, but a nagging feeling in the depths of your gut told you that it was a bad idea to fall unconscious this time around, so you try to shake off the numbness in your limbs instead of succumbing to the call of the void.

Standing up proves to be a challenge as your legs buckle under your weight. You catch yourself before you fall, holding onto the rough formation of a rogue stalagmite; it’s a struggle to hold yourself up, but at the very least you didn’t give yourself a concussion.

The pain isn’t completely unwelcome, though. Your feet are throbbing, and the palm of your hand holding yourself up with the help of the stalagmite stings. As you blink the drowsiness away and the blood begins to flow through your limbs correctly again, you straighten your back to take in your surroundings properly.

The cave’s entrance was filled with thick snow. There was enough that it would reach your stomach should you walk up to it, ignoring the snow that fell into the grotto, and not the snow that partly obscured your way to the outside world. You can’t see much outside, only the faint outline of pine trees wavering in the distance, far enough that you can only barely make out their form.

Looking away from the blinding whites outside, you notice how utterly desolate the cavern is. Not even a single trace of a life was left behind in this cold, worn hollow. Maybe it’s better this way. You’re not sure you would have appreciated seeing even a wild hare or a fox in here, much less a bear.

Sitting down on the rocky ground again to give your legs a break, you take a moment to think back to what got you here in the first place.

You faintly recall rusty medical equipment, convulsing organs, and seeing Him jot down notes. You remember a plate being handed to you, the vague image of a man covered by a stained sheet of what used to be white, and the bile that rose to your throat when your gaze focused on what was on the plate itself.

Everyone knew the Doctor was a twisted man, but you doubted He was twisted enough to force someone to cannibalize one of their peers.

Clearly, you were wrong.

Then, you remember making a mad dash for the thick iron doors of his laboratory. By the grace of god, you were able to leave; and you now found yourself in this desolate cavern, tucked away from civilization.

As far as you were aware of.

But you shouldn’t trust your mind. You knew this, yet you also knew not to trust yourself when you told yourself you couldn’t trust yourself. Simultaneously believing in logic and being a mess of paradoxical jargon— it exhausted you to think about. So you try not to.

Whether by a stroke of bad luck or because of something else entirely, your dull sense of hearing picks up the faint sound of snow crunching beneath boots. Your hands and legs scramble to take you where you can hide as much of yourself as you can behind a rock formation, and you stare out of the cave’s entrance, holding your breath.

The sound becomes louder. An almost gentle woosh noise accompanies the scrunch of snow, and soon after it stops, you’re able to make out a blurry figure approaching the cave’s entrance. The icy flakes make way for Him at His command, hand waving to get rid of what was keeping you physically separated from Him.

The pure white snow behind His body glinted off his intricate accessories, the light forming a halo so otherworldly that it left you utterly breathless.

His boots make a soft clicking noise against the limestone as He steps into the grotto, your safe haven for however long you had been here— now not. Not a single word left His lips as he assessed your rugged appearance.

You wish He would smite you right then and there. He was most likely able to, and with ease, but you doubt He would willingly discard one of his longest-running experiments for disobeying a rule that you had broken many times before anyways.

Your jittery gaze follows His movements as He outstretches His arm, offering you a gloved hand, silent.

Did he know how much you simultaneously trusted and distrusted your own judgement? You stare at His hand, unmoving, heart racing against your ribcage— torn between bolting away, into the darkness of the cave, or intertwining your fingers with His, allowing Him to take you away voluntarily.

This was mercy either way. You could either die at the hands of whatever lurked in the shadows of the grotto, or you could die at the hands of the man that brought you so much pain it morphed into comfort, solace. He stood, unmoving. Observing you.

You knew Him well enough to know that He was taking mental notes on your behavior even now, outside of the familiar comfort of his lab in Haeresys.

Both options were foolish, but you weren’t exactly known to be in the sanest state of mind.

Pulling your arms away from your body, you bring a shaky hand up to take ahold of His, allowing Him to pull you up to your feet. You almost fall as a result of your nerves, but thanks to His quick reflexes you find yourself tucked in his arms, cheek pressed up against His navy cravat. The hand that wasn’t holding yours comes up to pat your head, gently untangling the knots that had formed in your hair. You melt into His touch, eyes fluttering shut to bask in the warmth He provided.

As you stand there with Him, knees weak, body upheld by His will alone, you shove down the thoughts that brew in the forefront of your mind. Usually you would welcome the noise, even be grateful that you, at the very least, had yourself to lean on. But you find yourself wishing to lean on Him more than yourself, both literally and metaphorically, keening at the comfort He brought you.

You knew you couldn’t trust your mind, so why not trust His instead? If you couldn’t rely on your own instincts, judgement or thoughts, then how bad would it truly be to let someone other than you become fully responsible for your wellbeing?

...

You were neither a moth nor human.

You were a dog.

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yume-fanfare · 3 months

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You gotta be careful with rival stuff tbh. One day you go like "Oh I'm gonna defeat you and show you who is better!!" and the next you realize you want to grow old to see your "rival" live a long and happy life that he always deserved

this is what happened in the ss finals i think i still havent read the story

#thank you anon this has to be one of the best asks ive ever gotten #the notif only showed the first sentence and i was like oh boy. but you really got me there slkdjfmsldjkfs #in fact i need this in the super fave tag a lovely ask #fav of all time #yuzuru fushimi #tori himemiya #implied ibayuzu ? askjdlsmdlskjs they have such a relationship #and i guess torikasa also galskjdmlksjf #enstars #anonymous #preguntas #art tag #doodles

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nebuladreamz · 10 months

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Birthday time :D

I doodled this on the 18th, figured it’d be nice to save for today.

This past year has been the most wildest year of my life. To everyone I’ve come to known, old and new.

You mean the fucking world to me. Here’s for an even better rest of our year, together.

@f0rtunesfuture @amberluvsbugs @garbagechocolate @darkxsoulzyx @kandidandi @just-a-drawing-bean @cacaocheri @bunmuffin @sleepykas @xitsensunmoon @justaduckarts @skizabaa @starsketchez @fernzwing @smoljeanius @ilsole @tuzesdays @magicclownjuice @ohno-the-sun

(If I haven’t tagged you there is a Very(tm) high chance I am either unsure if you’d want to be tagged or too much of a coward to do it anyways but that does not mean you’d mean less <3)

#nebula art and doodles #i was gonna digitalize this but i thought it’d be funny if it wasnt #thank you to everyone who has come with me on this wild journey #only about 7-8 months since i first joined the dca fandom #since i joined ao3 and tumblr #and ever since then i have made some fucking incredible friends #i am so goddamn thankful to every single one of you fuckers /aff #for every goofy bit #every silly question i get #every ounce of serotonin ive gotten for people enjoying my things #you’ve all made my day just a little bit better for everytime i see someone like the things i create #to all my followers #to all my mutuals #to all my friends #thank you for making my life better #thank you for everything #i know for a lot of my moots i dont interact or talk to you #but do know i see you #and i appreciate you for sticking around #feeling sentimental as fuck thumbs up #anyways the fact that i share a birthday with sonic the fucking hedgehog sure is something #gotta go fast i guess

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corpsentry · 2 years

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1000000kg

#ZELDA #BOTW #BREATH OF THE WILD #THE LEGEND OF ZELDA #LEGEND OF ZELDA #TLOZ #LOZ #BOTW LINK #MY ART #MY STUFF #CAN I NOT TAG EVERYTHING. ITS SO MUCH EFFORT #TAP THE LINK IN THE CAPTION TO GET A PRINT OF PAGE 5 WHICH I ACCIDENTALLY RENDERERD #IT LOOKS SUPER OUTT OF PLACE NOW BUT DO I CARE? NO! ITS HOT AND THATS VALID #SOMETIMES YOURE JUST SO SEXY AND FUCKABLE YOU DONT MAKE SENSE. LINK WOULD UNDERSTAND #HES SO SAD............HES MY TUMBLR SADPERSON. I JUST THINK ABOUT HIM FROM TIME TO TIME #I HAVENT DRAWN A ZELDA COMIC IN HALF A YEAR. NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE THEN EXCEPT THAT I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND #SO I GUESS A LOT HAS CHANGED! IVE ALSO GOTTEN BETTER AT COLORS AND LIGHTING I THINK. HOPEFULLY #THIS WAS REALLY FUN TO DRAW. I ACCIDENTALLY DREW ALL 5 BACK PAGES IN ONE SITTING YESTERDAY #SO MY BONES ARE A LITTLE BROKEN RIGHT NOW BUT THATS SEXY AND FUCKABLE TOO #THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME #HAVE A NICE DAY. EAT GOD. AND SO ON

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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months

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2023 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso

#weird to be doing this for the last time this season #literally have been doing it since bahrain quali aahhhh....#well gifing before that but this specfifc interview type gif wow this is the last one #dont want to get to emo in the tags bcs ive not really found words just yet for how i feel abt the season #but thanks so much everyone for supporting me all this way!!! its been so much fun #literally the thing keeping me going is making these after every race #i started this habit as a silly thing to keep my progress while watching thru older seasins #and i could never have imagined how much i would make!! so again thanks for all the support #id say 'see you next year' as if im not going to be loitering here all winter break #so uhhhhh stay posted for old content and art??? thanks love you!!!#f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #we do a little bit of f1 #2023 abu dhabi gp #i used to put: '(2023 races watched: 22/22)#and i wish i stuck w that but i didnt but just know...I WATCHED THEM ALL AND TWO IN PERSON YAYAYAYAY #I have trouble sticking w things w an extended time so its cool to have gotten to this point

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pinstripe-doodles · 4 months

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Finally got round to doing this on the last day of the year !

#pins talks #summary of art #wouldnt say ive improved or anything significatly anyway but ive gotten slightly more confident !#made my grand start in properly making merch stuff with my standees this year !! i love making standees #remind me to upload photos of my ourflag ones sometime #ive been in an ourflag hole for the past year or so though so im hoping to do more OC stuff next year #hope that wont put people off too bad haha i still wanna do some ourflag stuff though ! wanna make more ourflag standees for sure #also hoping to redo/reopen my etsy next year ? we'll see i suppose but ! trying to be hopeful #thanks for everyone sticking around i know i havent been very active but drawing has been so slow for me lately #hope you all have a good year next year !

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azulashengrottospiano · 10 months

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i love that my low social battery day has consisted of occasionally checking tumblr and playing interactive fiction games on itch.io for hours with no background music or noise because i am Focusing.

#🐙! auburn's rambles <3 #this is THE most focused i've been in so long #i'd like to thank remy for the recs #i finished scout and when twilight strikes today hehe #starting speaker because it sounded good :3 #also i'd like to thank you guys for leaving my inbox alone ^^#like ive gotten a few asks but nobody has spammed it #and im very thankful you all were considerate #i feel a bit better now so i might get to them sometime today #but also i know when i answer one ask three to five more usually get sent it LMAO

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kurolini909 · 7 months

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I may have been a bit emotional because I am currently on a sweet war with Yuri but you put tears in my eyes like that was so so kind of you to write those tags and uh and uh 🥹

I'm a fan because you have such a unique artstyle I never saw anywhere else, you have an head full of complex worlds and you have a thing for details. Your art is so beautiful and clothes and poses sometimes looks so cozy!!!! Also you're such a kind soul and it shines. You have fun in your heart and stars flowing out of your fingers :D

I need to copy those tags to keep close to my heart honestly

UM.

OKAY WOW UM DYING RN?????? THATS SO NICE?????? I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS???????

Blue you had no right to come here and make me all giddy grinning dumbly at my phone for a solid few minutes-

I'm legitimately squealing!!!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

#ask #happy tag #save #serotonin #bluepallilworld #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHFHEJCNKEMDJDKADNKEKGKWNFKFE #Legitimately without reaction #Im also copying this so I can reread it when Im sad this is just so--- BLUEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕#im glad you like the tags!#theyre all absolutely true youre incredible #its poetic even??????#stars; really??? Thats probably one of the nicest most creative compliment Ive gotten in a while >w<#along with a couple other from another friend #guys #overall I am unable to process this you're all giving my ego too much power aaaaAaaAaaAAAAAAAAAH-- <“”“”“”“”“”3

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arolesbianism · 30 days

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Hello oni lore fans, I have been fighting for my life to solve a lil mystery and I decided to finally clean up one of the logs I copy and pasted from the code so I can hopefully find someone else who's seen it in game before. It's called "a seed is planted" and I'm pretty sure it was in the research notes section, but in the code it's placed alongside the story trait logs so I'm not 100% confident where it's supposed to be found. I first saw it in a save that I was using sandbox mode to hunt for lore with, and it stuck around for a lil while before disappearing, and then it randomly came back for a lil bit before all my lore logs got wiped with the recent update. I have no idea how I got it in the first place nor what made it disappear and come back, so I'm basically just wondering if anyone else has had this issue with this particular log (or any logs for that matter)

I have copy and pasted the log under the cut, although the formatting might be a bit off as this was cleaned up from a copy paste directly from the code itself

"A Seed is Planted"

[Voice Recognition Initialized]

[Subject Identified: B040]

[LOG BEGINS]

Three days ago, we completed our first non-fatal Duplicant trial of Nikola's comprehensive synapse microanalysis and mirroring process. Five hours from now, Subject #901 will make history as our first human test subject.

Even at the Vertex Institute, which is twice Gravitas's size, I could've spent half my career waiting for approval to advance to human trials for such an invasive process! But Director Stern is too invested in this work to let it stagnate.

My darling Bruce always said that when you're on the right path, the universe conspires to help you. He'd be so proud of the work we do here.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

My bio-printed multi-cerebral storage chambers (or "mega minds" as I've been calling them) are working! Just in time to save my job.

The Director's been getting increasingly impatient about our struggle to maintain the integrity of our growing datasets during extraction and processing. The other day, she held my report over a Bunsen burner until the flames reached her fingertips.

I can only imagine how much stress she's under.

The whole world is counting on us.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

On a hunch, I added dream content analysis to the data and...wow. Oneirology may be scientifically "fluffy", but integrating subconscious narratives has produced a new type of brainmap - one with more latent potential for complex processing.

If these results are replicable, we might be on the verge of unlocking the secret to creating synthetic life forms with the capacity to evolve beyond blindly following commands.

Nikola says that's irrelevant for our purposes. Surely Director Stern would disagree.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

Nikola gave me a dataset to plug into the mega minds. He wouldn't say where it came from, but even if he had...nothing could have prepared me for what it contained.

When he saw my face, he muttered something about how people should call me "Tremors," not "Nails" and sent me on my lunch break.

All I could think about was those poor souls.

Did they have souls?

...do we?

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

It's done. My adjustments to the memory transfer protocol are hardcoded into the machine.

I finished just as Nikola stormed in.

I may be too much of a coward to stand up for those unfortunate creatures, but with these new parameters in place...someday, they might be able to stand up for themselves.

[LOG ENDS]

------------------

#rat rambles #oxygen not included #even if you don't have it go give it a read its one of my favorite logs in the game #it has so much juicy information even if it's all mostly brushed over due to the nature of the log #anyways I need to go to bed but crossing my fingers that somehow someone who has the log sees this #Ive tried asking abt this log in other places but have gotten nothing </3 #I know its real and in the game I just dont know if the log is fucked or if its a classic case of my laptop fucking everything up #oh and to be clear abt the code viewing thing it was purely viewing I couldnt have edited it if I wanted to #well I could have but Id have to use a different piece of software to do it #I was just using smth to decompile the code so I could actually read it #thank you oni modders I shall reffer back to yalls guides in the future to learn to edit critters #I wanna fuck around with what different critters can eat it sounds fun #who knows maybe I could take a crack at making an actual proper oni mod some day

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nexttothelamp · 6 months

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...

#its my birthday :3 #for some reason this is the first year that actually means something to me...#i lived bitch 🤣 i made it to 28 #and somehow ive been more excited to finish a full year of my nanowrimo goal #after all tomorrow is november 1st!#damn what a terrible year. but im here!#and this writing goal honestly meant so much to me.#i wrote a paragraph everyday for a single year. sometimes more but the important thing was at least a paragraph every single day #even at my sickest thats the one thing i had that I could keep doing. it kept me going some days #as i deteriorated my writing didnt. it flourished #im on the cusp of something man #i just. i fucking did it #all of it whatever it is 🤣#i survived and because I kept writing i kept that spark alive #damn. congratulations me youve met a long term goal that wasnt marrying your hs sweetheart 🤣#locked her down a decade ago so its about time i achieved something else!!#thanks past charlie. couldnt have gotten to the now without you making it through then #happy birthday #notes to myself #id say delete later but i wont

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silhouettecrow · 3 months

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365 Days of Poems: Day 6 (January 6th)

Godly Poison

I sowed and cultivated these plants myself

I brought them to life to bear fruit and flower

with my own bare hands and the loving patience of a proud parent

angel wings

autumn crocus

belladonna

calla lily

daphne

death camas

doll's eyes

foxglove

hemlock

larkspur

laurel

monkshood

moonflower

moonseed

mountain arnica

oleander

pokeweed

privet

ruti

snakeweed

and when the tide told me the time was right

I prepared and presented a feast full of my children

to Him

He who

says what He ought not say

touches what He ought not touch

takes what He ought not take

I admit

I took pleasure in His pain

as He once did with mine

blood pouring from His mouth

His body thrashing and convulsing in his chair

fear and sheer terror invading His wide eyes

I smiled through it all

and when his heart finally stopped

mine soared and I finally felt free

I know

one day

I'll be forgiven for what I had to do

and I know

He is not destined for any kindness

in the next life

- - - - -

Here's the link to the corresponding writing prompt post

#so ive gotten really far behind with posting these #lowkey ive been so focussed with just writing the poems (which i initially do by hand) that ive been putting off posting them #ive currently written all the way through the 14th but i do plan on writing at least one poem after posting this one #so yeah im gonna try to get caught up with posting the poems here soon #as for this poem there are multiple ways to interpret it and i feel all can be correct #i had a specific idea in mind while writing this but as i kept writing i saw more possibilities #so whatever you interpret is valid #that being said this is a fairly violent poem and its not really up to interpretation that murder takes place #anyway what happen on the 6th was that my girlfriend and i went to the house to do laundry #other than that i dont think we did too much #thanks for reading #writing #writer #creative writing #writing prompt #poem #poetry #writeblr #trying to be a writeblr at least #*happened #edit: my girlfriend and i actually got eye exams on this day (cant believe i forgot)

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frecklystars · 11 months

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Hey keri!! I don't want you to worry about people thinking you're faking anything and stuff like that - what you're doing and how you're approaching it is completely normal and healthy, everything you've said about the shades of pink in that post makes a lot of sense! people know that recovery isn't a straight line, but more wiggly with ups and downs, and you're such a sincere and nice person that I really don't think anyone is going to be whisper whisper about you making it up for attention or stuff like that - especially when the way you present and talk and vent about it is so different to how someone "doing it for views/attention" would be - but honestly I think a lot of people and I really understand the fear of this and the worry, but I think you should feel reassured that nohody is going to be thinking that. Recovery is complex and multifaceted and we understand, and we're all so proud of how well you're doing!! Sorry if this is a bit rambly or doesn't make sense, I find it hard to get thoughts into words sometimes. We're all rooting for you ✨💕🌻

HI YELLOW THANK YOU!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

I appreciate you writing this all out for me! And dw it all makes PERFECT sense to me, you are wonderful at phrasing things and also I love you <3

I want to believe it's true, that people can use their braincells if they see me posting a picture of my self insert wearing my favorite pink shirt, and think to themselves "oh wow look, Keri is working on healing, good for her!!!" but I've gotten some confused messages where people are like "why would you make your S/I wear a pink shirt if pink is a trigger? why are you reblogging pictures of Starscream if looking at him is a trigger?" and it's just so hard to have to explain myself over and over and over, that I'm 5 months into the healing process, that Starscream isn't a trigger anymore so much as he is someone I am heavily grieving now, that damn I love pink sooo much and I don't want it to be a trigger anymore, I genuinely want to heal and that means I'm going to have to put in the work!!! I am going to have to look at these things and allow these feelings to wash over me, to reassure myself that I am in control. I do this in my therapy appointments, I do this when I know I'm feeling stable enough to look at these things, and on my horrible days when I can't look at them whatsoever then I just simply don't.

But nowadays when I'm starting to feel myself improve even just the smallest bit, I start to get scared that ppl aren't going to try to understand me no matter how many times I explain how healing from PTSD works. I've been through a lot the last 9 months, I was completely alone with ppl who were convincing me that my feelings weren't valid, so naturally when I come back online I assume ppl are going to think my feelings on reclaiming my own triggers at my own pace won't be valid either...

...and me saying that,,, might be silly, considering all the support I've gotten in such a short amount of time,,,,, I shouldn't stress about an incredibly miniscule amount of people who could potentially tell me that I'm "faking it". but I still get so so anxious, it's been SO LONG since I've talked to people again, people who are actually healthy for me to be around, I'm not used to people understanding me or hearing me out, I'm still so scared that I'll turn around and somebody I trust is going to stab me in the back. Nobody has reason to do this, I just,,, I'm so used to it, I endured it for almost a year, so I'm always on guard now ready for someone to plunge that knife into my back when I least expect it. I never used to get anxious abt things like this but I am such a different person now than I was before I left, I feel like my biggest parts of me are missing :( but I am hoping that healing from my trauma little by little by reclaiming the things that were lost to me are going to help me find myself again.

Thank you for telling me that this is a normal part of healing, bc I feel kind of out of my mind and going thru this process is so rough. It's so hard waking up and immediately getting flashbacks, and having other days where I wake up and I'm immediately super cautious, so tense that my chest will hurt, because I know the flashbacks could start at any point and I have to be "ready" for it. Having anxiety 24/7 is!! wild!!! and I keep going up and down when I'm healing and it makes me feel weird, it makes me feel like I am going crazy and that I'm "doing this wrong". I know healing isn't linear, like rationally I think deep down I am aware of it at least, but omg I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster over here. I've never had PTSD with multiple triggers and I've never actually had to experiment with reclaiming said triggers. I'm scared of people perceiving me when I'm in such a bad state, judging my every move and deciding whether or not my healing is valid or if I'm doing this "correctly". It's probably silly for me to think these things but it's been really eating at me for the past few days.

But I'm rereading your message a few more times rn and trying to really let it sink in, especially when you say I'm a nice/sincere person ;-; thank you. Most people know me by now, I have been online for a longass time, I truly hope people know I'm genuine and I would never "fake something for attention", especially when it involves my comfort characters, like... this is literally the worst thing to ever happen to me, I couldn't fake this if I tried lmao;;;

Thank you for sending me a reassuring message, I appreciate it <3

#yellowpoet #asks #keepsake #also im so glad that you thought my post made sense 😭🙏💛#i rly rly rly hope that most ppl have the same mindset that you do #i just know the reading comprehension on this hellsite is like... nonexistent fjhgfdksfhg #and ive already gotten some confused messages. and theyre innocently confused #but it just scares me bc theres so many Evil People out there who might try to put me down for all of this #and I am just. I'm doing so bad. I want to heal but I don't know if I'm 'allowed' to #bc people expect me to heal at a certain pace #like. I do not want to spend years being scared of these 10 or 20 things #especially a color that is so!! love-coded!!! one of my main fave colors!!#me trying to reclaim it is something I couldn't have done 5 months ago #but nobody saw me 5 months ago bc I was offline for so long. nobody has seen me at my Worst #so I'm scared that ppl will assume I'm 'healing too fast'#I've only been back for one week but my healing process is reaching 6 months very soon #idk if anything i said just made sense bc i jumped everywhere lmao???#anyway. ANYWAY. yellow i love you SO MUCH you cannot fathom how much I love you #I thought about you a few times when I was gone I thought about a lot of mutuals #and like you're one of my favorite blogs/mutuals and I care abt you so much. so thank you for sending me this

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