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ally-writes-many-things · 3 years

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Secret Voight Season 3 Part 3 (J. Halstead)

Summary: Its been a year and a few months since Olive showed up announcing that she was pregnant with Justin's kid. You were working on a case that involved Justin. Is Justin back doing the same old things or is it something else?

Words: 3.9k

Requested: Yes

Warnings or A/N: Guys, I appreciate the love and support yall are giving me again with this series but please dont keep asking me over and over again if I'm continuing it. I think there will be at least one more part in season 3 and there will be one more chapter for s3. There also maybe be one more chapter that will be special. Idk yet. Well see.

You were smiling at your nephew in his high chair while wearing a birthday hat. It was Daniel's first birthday. You, your dad, Olive and Justin were all singing happy birthday to him as Daniel was just looking around and babbling. "Happy birthday, kiddo. Come on, blow out that candle. Ready? One, two..."

Your dad had put the cake on the food tray as Justin walked closer to his son and they both helped Daniel blow out the candle. "Good job,"

You looked from Daniel and then to Olive. "I can't believe he's a year old already,"

Voight nodded and went to grabbed a present. "Ooh, wait. Time for presents. This one is from me,"

Justin reaches over the table and grabbed the bag and opened it up. He pulled out a toy horse that he seemed to recognize. "All these years you kept this?"

"Your mom did. She kept all your baby stuff upstairs in the attic, just, you know, hoping one day she could pass it along,"

Olive puts her hand Justin's back. "Hank, it's perfect,"

"Yeah. Thanks, Pop. I wish Mom was here too,"

You got up from your seat and walked around to where your brother was and placed your hand on his shoulder. "I didn't know Camille but from what I've been told of her. She would be so proud of you,"

----

It had been an hour or so after you were done with giving Daniel his gifts. Justin and Voight were in the living room catching up. You and Olive were still in the kitchen with Daniel cleaning up. "So when are you and Jay getting married?"

Justin and Olive got married about six months ago and ever since then everyone has been up yours and Jay's ass over it too. Or well besides Voight. Voight told you over and over 'to take it slow'. You chuckled as you had a secret but it wasn't an engagement. Jay didn't even know about this either. "Whenever he proposes, I guess,"

"I'm sure, it'll be soon,"

You shrugged. "I'm just going with the tides. In this line of work, its difficult to worry about things like that,"

She nodded. "You guys did move in together right?"

"Yeah, a couple of weeks ago,"

"With two bedrooms right?"

You cocked an eye at her. "Yeah? Why?"

"Just asking. How's it going?"

"It's going good. It's a lot easy on the both of us since Jay would take me to work,"

Voight walked into the kitchen with Justin. "Sorry to break the girl chat up but we got a case. Team is already there,"

You walked over to where Daniel was and kissed him on the top of his head. "Goodnight my sweet boy,"

---

You and Voight drive to the scene separate but arrived at the same time. You saw Kevin and Antonio were waiting for us at the police line which they lifted up when we walked up to it. "Hey, Serge. We got one dead female found in the trunk,"

Antonio looked at his notepad. "A park district employee was closing the gates. He was about to have the car towed when he noticed blood on the rear of the car and called the police,"

You and the others walked up the car, Jay was already there at the car holding up the trunk. "Victim's hands and feet are tied with barbed wire. Throat's cut. Fingernails are gone, too. I'm guessing she fought back against the assailant. He knew there'd be DNA, so he yanked them off,"

"Cartel hit?"

"Or Russians. They've been known to use barbed wire too,"

You got a ping on your phone and looked at it. "Car's registered to the victim. Her name's Melissa Wilds. She's 26 years old. We got an address,"

"All right, call Ruzek and Olinsky. Tell them to go over there and do a knock-and-talk,"

It was the next day and you didn't have much to go on as of yet. Al and Ruzek knocked at the address but no one answered. Her neighbor came by and they found out she had a daughter. You were sitting at you desk while talking about the case. "Melissa Wilds. Her husband was an Army private killed in a training exercise last year at Fort Bragg, along with three others when their chopper went down,"

Antonio took it from there. "She had an associate’s from Roosevelt and worked as a paralegal for the law firm Sawyer & Sawyer,"

Antonio was still in the outs with you. Yeah, its been a year but you still didn't trust him enough to let him back into your life. Jay, on the other hand, just didn't care because no one was gonna tell him what he can or can't do. Ruzek swung around in his chair to look at Antonio. "Yeah, I've seen those commercials. They're just high-profile ambulance chasers,"

"Bigger than that. They do seven-figure class action lawsuits against pharmaceutical companies or schools with asbestos,"

Jay was looking into Melissa's background and to see if she got any priors. "Except for a few parking tickets, Melissa has zero priors. She's a working, widowed mom, so the more I'm digging here, I can't see any reason why she'd be associated with cartels or any Russians,"

Voight walk to where he was standing in front of everyone. "Well listen. This girl was tortured with barbed wire. That means the killer either wanted something from her, or it was personal. So I want to know where she was before we found her, who she was with- if she was seeing someone new,"

Your phone of your desk rang while Voight was saying what he was saying. "Voight,"

"Roger Simpson is down here. Says he is Melissa's father,"

You pulled the phone away from your mouth and looked up at Voight. "Hey,"

"Hm?"

"Roger Simpson, Melissa's father, is downstairs,"

Voight looked over at Al. "Al?"

"We should start drawing straws,"

It had been about an hour since Al met with Roger and he said that Melissa was acting strange the past few months and that she was asking him to watch Tigan more and more which was no problem but it was hard cause he lived two hours away. He had asked her if something was wrong but she wouldn't tell him. You were engrossed with your digging that you didn't hear Jay walking up to you until he tapped on your desk. You looked away from your computer and up at him. "Hey handsome,"

He slightly smiled before dropping it. That concerned you. "What's wrong?"

"We got Melissa's phone records,"

"And?"

"Follow me,"

Jay started to walk towards Voight's office and you got up from your desk and followed him. "Hey, we got, uh, Melissa Wild's phone records,"

Voight looked at you confused and you just shrugged as you walked into his office. "Okay?"

Jay closed the door and hand a copy to you and Voight. He kept one for himself as well. "She and Justin, um-- they knew each other. Looks like there's maybe 20 phone calls and twice as many texts between the two of them last month. The last phone call she made was a half hour before time of death,"

Voight picked up his personal phone from his desk and started dialing Justin. "He said he was in town to help a friend. Maybe it was her,"

You walked up to Voight's desk. "Where is Justin now?"

"He should be at home with Olive and Daniel,"

Jay looked from you to your dad. "Did he ever mention this girl to you, to either of you?"

"No,"

"Don't you think I would've mentioned it if he did? Straight to voicemail,"

You and Voight rush to his house and see that Olive is there with Daniel but no Justin and he looks worried. "Where's Justin?"

"He left over an hour ago,"

"Have you tried calling him?"

"He's not answering. I texted him too. Hank, I'm worried,"

"We'll find him,"

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and dialed Al. "I need you to track the GPS on Justin's car now,"

It took about ten minutes to find the location of Justin car which was parked on the side of the road. You and Voight both jumped out of the car and speed walked to the car. You looked into the car and didn't see anything. You walked around to the trunk where Voight was already opening it up. "Oh, my God,"

You find Justin the same way you found Melissa. Bound with barbed wire. "Justin. He's got a pulse!"

You pulled out your walkie. "Lincoln 5021, emergency. I repeat, emergency,"

Voight was trying to see if he had anymore injuries. "Oh, my God, he's been shot!"

You pushed the button on your walkie again. "I need an ambulance at my current location. We have a gunshot wound victim,"

You and Voight ran into Med with Justin and the paramedics when Maggie came into view. "We have incoming. You're with me. Talk to me,"

"It's my son!"

The paramedic started talking to Maggie. "GSW to the neck. GCS 3, tubed in the ambo. Pupils fixed and dilated. Sinus tachy on the monitor. He was bound in the trunk of a car,"

Maggie pointed into a room and started directing them. "Rotate. Get ready to transfer. Three, two, one--transfer,"

Sharon came up to Voight and started to pull Voight away. " Hank, let's step outside,"

"Is he breathing?"

"I need a CT head. Someone call neurosurgery!"

"Is he still breathing?"

"Checking right now, Hank,"

"Come on, let them do their job,"

Voight had called Antonio and told him what happened and the next thing you knew he had brought Olive and Daniel to the ER. Voight didn't look to pleased at Antonio.

Voight looked at you. "GET everyone back to 21,"

"Dad,"

"Now,"

You had texted everyone in the unit that if they were at 21st to get there. You couldn't call them because you knew if you called them you'd break down. You stood outside the door of 21st for a few minutes before walking into the precinct and then up the stairs to Intelligence. Jay saw you and walked up to you and pulled you into a hug and whispered into your ear. "It's going to be okay. He's going to be okay,"

You let him hold you for a few minutes before you pushed him away. Antonio looked at everyone in the unit before speaking. "Everybody needs to hold on real tight, and you all know what I mean. If at any point you're not comfortable with something, you come tell me,"

You were all looked at Antonio when Antonio stopped talking when he looked at something. You all turned around and saw Voight standing there with a duffel bag in hand. He throws in on Jay's desk and throw out money. "I want you to put word out to all your C.I.'s. That's 90,000 for any information on who did this to Melissa Wilds and my son,"

Kevin slowly got up and walked towards Voight. "Hey, we got this, Serge. Think you should go to the hospital?"

Voight nodded but didn't say anything for a good minute. "All right, let me be clear. I don't need condolences. I need commitment from each of you. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to find who did this. Anybody not comfortable with that should take the next couple of days off,"

You nodded and walked towards the detail board. While holding back tears, you looked at everyone. "So, turns out Justin went through basic training with Peter Wilds

at Fort Campbell before Peter got shipped to Fort Bragg. That's how they knew each other. They stayed close friends. Melissa started reaching out to Justin about four weeks ago.

"Still doesn't tell us how they were mutual targets,"

Jay who is now sitting on his desk, talked next. "Maybe there's a nexus with her job- the law firm,"

"Check it out,"

Voight had started to leave but you had grabbed him and stopped him. "Hey. You have a grandson now, okay? That is counting on you. Just remember that,"

Voight looked at you for a few seconds before nodding.

You were going out of your mind in the car when you and Jay were driving to the law firm. Jay placed a hand on your knee and squeezed it. "It's gonna be okay. Justin is going to wake up and everything will be fine,"

You looked at him and smiled. You appreciated the thought but that's not the biggest thing on your mind. You were worried about what your dad is doing.

Jay pulled up to the law firm and you put everything about your dad and Justin in the back of your mind and put all your focus on the case itself. You walked up to Melissa's boss' office. "Melissa used to be a great employee. Never complained about the hours

or working weekends. But there was definitely something off with her these past few weeks,"

You shifted on your other foot. "How do you mean?"

"Her demeanor. Melissa was always outgoing always had a smile on her face, even after losing her husband, Peter. But lately she'd become withdrawn..distant. To be honest, that's when I started to get suspicious,"

Jay didn't look away from her boss. "Suspicious of what, exactly?"

Her boss didn't answer for a minute thinking about what to say. She held up a finger to signal that she needed a minute. She got up from her desk, shut her office door and then sit back down. "We worked a class action suit last year. Several dozen plaintiffs were awarded mesothelioma cancer pay-outs, all over a million dollars each. three of the plaintiffs were robbed in home invasions, some of them badly injured,"

"Was Melissa the only one with access to this information?"

Her boss shook her head. "Well, no. But the way she was acting, and now what's happened to her, it can't be a coincidence,"

As you were leaving the office, Jay called the unit and told them what Melissa's boss, you got in his truck and he got in his truck after he finished the call. You were driving to the precinct when you got a call telling you to meet the team at a location they think Ginger is at and to suit up. Apparently while you were out, the team had learned the suspect's name. You were also texted a picture of him.

Jay parked a little ways down the street and you guys suited up and walked the rest of the way to meet up with the team. Voight saw you and as soon as you got next to him, he started talking. "This one we don't announce. We hit it and we hit it hard,"

You all nodded. Jay grabbed the battering ram and hit the door. Antonio was in first, Al and Ruzek was next, then you, Voight and Jay. You could hear a woman screaming. You saw three males trying to get up and run. You pointed a gun at one of them. "Don't move!"

Jay pointed the gun at the other. "Right there!"

Voight goes past you to point a gun at the three suspect.. "I'll blow your head off! Let me see your hands. Don't move,"

Antonio looked at the girl. "You, get your clothes. Get out of here,"

When everyone was under control you finally looked up at the three suspect and saw that it was Ginger. " You got a warrant?"

"Melissa Wilds,"

"Never heard of her,"

Voight didn't say anything for a minute then didn't take his eye of him but address the team. "The stove. Cover the door,"

Al and Antonio grabbed Ginger and pulled him over to the store as he turned on the store. "Wait a minute,"

"Justin Voight is my son. You shoot him and wrap him in barb wire?"

"No, man, that wasn't me. It was all Kevin!"

"Kevin who?"

"Kevin Bingham, a guy I work with sometimes. He...he used to bang

that girl Melissa when they were younger, started forcing her to give up info on who was getting big pay-outs from her law firm,"

"Yeah, and you did the home invasions.

"I just do the safes, man. He handles the people, then we split it down the middle,"

"Why did he kill her and shoot my son?"

"Melissa wanted out. But Kevin wouldn't let her, so she went to Justin for help. wanted me to meet him at that social club to broker a deal for her safety for five grand. I told him, leave it alone. He had no idea who he was messing with. Kevin knew Melissa was gonna rat him out, so he called Justin to meet to tie up loose ends!"

"Where's Kevin now?"

"I don't know. I swear! He only calls me when there's a job!"

Voight grabbed Ginger's head and forces it down on the hot burner so he could burn his cheek. Ginger screamed out in pain and you looked away in disgust.

Antonio came up to Voight and tried to pull him off of him. "Voight, we can do this at the district!"

Voight shrugged. "We're fine right here. Relax. Relax. Where's Kevin now?"

"Hiding cause he knows you're after him. I swear to God, that's all I know,"

It's been about two or so hours since you talked to Ginger. You had finally found some information on Bingham. You printed off a picture of Bingham and what you found on him. You also made copies for the team. "Kevin Bingham. He's been racking up felonies since he was 18, armed robbery, assault, battery, burglary. Five years ago he got popped for attempted murder. A guy spilled his drink at a bar, so Bingham stabbed him 16 time,"

Antonio looked up from the sheet. "Yeah, and he got out of jail three months ago,"

Al who was leaning up against the file cabinet talked next. "Melissa's father said she and Bingham dated six years ago back in high school and after her husband died, he started coming around again,"

Jay pointed at the photo that was sent over. "So these were sent over, all of these are from recent home invasions where the victims were tied up with barbed wire,"

Kevin looked at the phone. "That is definitely something he picked up in prison,"

Ruzek comes into the room with a paper in his hand. "So Bingham's parole officer said he stopped showing up-- violated him, but he's got no LKA. Yeah, so we've been running an extensive check on all his known associates, including those off his prison visiting list. All right, this is Dillon James. visited him all the way up until his parole, putting money into his canteen account. He's got priors for methamphetamine and a thing for stealing UPS trucks and selling the stolen goods,"

Voight turned and looked at him. "Where is he?"

"We got a possible house in Rogers Park,"

Voight nodded. "Let's roll out and suit up. Oh, Antonio. You stay here. Just call us if you get anything,"

You hit the house and found his brother but all his brother told you was that Bingham came by last night and took some cash and guns that he was holding for them. He only told him that he needed to get out of town until something blew over.

*Justin was moved to ICU and Sharon will call in an hour with an update*

Dillion: I ain't--I ain't seen him *point the gun at him* All right, he was here! He came by last night. He was picking up some cash I was holding for him and some guns. He also gets a call from Antonio saying Sharon called and told him that Justin came out of surgery and that

You were in the unit for an hour or so when Voight gets a call and goes into his office and he was in there for a few minutes before he comes back out. "I got an address on Bingham. I want everyone rolling there now. First two to arrive, breach. This guy's on the run could be leaving any minute. Let's go,"

You didn’t ride with Jay or anyone else. You rode by yourself so you could have some time by yourself just to think about everything that was happened. You heard your phone go off and you looked down and saw that it was Jay. "Hey, I'm two minutes out,"

"Bingham's not here. No one's here. Not for a while,"

"Is Voight there?"

"Not yet,"

That's when it hit you that Voight sent you to a bogus location and that whoever he was on the phone with, found Bingham and he was at the Silos.

You heard Jay on the line calling for you but you dropped your phone in the seat and as soon as you could turned around. You drove as fast of you could to get to the Silos before your dad could do anything stupid. You drove up and saw that Kevin was digging a hole. You got out of the car and Kevin started talking to you. "Oh, thank God. Thank God. This guy tried to kill me. I didn't do anything,"

You walked up closer to your dad. "Don't do this. Think of your grandson,"

"Get back in your car, Y/N,"

"Do not throw it all away over him,"

"Get back in your car,"

"Dad, please. Justin is still alive and he wouldn't want justice like this,"

"Get out of here,"

"Justin,"

You looked at your dad to Kevin and then back to your dad and knew you couldn't get your dad to think straight. You slowly backed up and got in your car and left. You were halfway down the road when you finally heard the gun go off.

You didn't even go the unit after, you went straight to the hospital and you saw Sharon coming out ready to go home. She saw you. "He is in room 12. Say that I allowed it. Talk to him, he can hear you,"

You nodded and said a silent thank you. She placed a hand on your shoulder for a second before removing it. You walked up to the room and no one bothered you. You took a deep breath before opening the door. You opened the door and saw your brother in the hospital unconscious and Olive sitting next to him. She looked at you. "I'll give you two some time together," You walked to the chair and sat down. You finally let go of all the emotion you've been holding on too since you found Justin. You reached out to grab your brother's hand. You sat there and cry until you couldn't let anything else out. When you were finally done crying, you sat there in quiet thinking of what to say. "I don't know if you can hear me, Sharon says that you can. Do you remember when we first met after dad transferred me into Intelligence. We didn't like each other at well. We hated each other at first. Bickered all the time. Yes, we always had bad times but we also had god times and I want...I need more good times with you. I need you to be in my life..."

You trailed off with what you were about to say because you haven’t said it out loud. "Your niece or nephew is gonna need their uncle,"

You put your head on the side of his bed and just sat in quiet once more. "I'm gonna make them my partner in crime,"

#chicago pd #jay halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #jay halstead imagine #one chicago #hank voight #secret voight #jay halstead x imagine

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a-very-fond-farewell · 3 years

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aside from the fact that I lose my goddamn mind every time I think of the “save it/you’re my person” scene and that I do, in fact, love shl with all my wretched goblin heart despite its flaws and the last five episodes or so... what if.

what if, instead of a Romeo&Juliet situation, we had an Achilles&Patroclus situation??

(I’m obviously pretending that scenario is not another tragedy in itself too, bc science)

let me elaborate:

ZZS knows WKX and his every little quirk, habit and move;

ZZS happens to be a master of disguise, as we know;

ZZS takes WKS’s place at the siege (which can be a somewhat satisfying outcome for the foreshadowing of ep.13);

WKX was forced to sleep through it all thanks to a slow but inevitable drug concocted by Wu Xi’s and that ZZS gave WKX before his departure for ghost valley (ZZS also asked GX and CWN to follow WKX secretly to keep him safe while unconscious, but didn’t explain anything else to them, not wanting them to meddle or impulsively participate in the siege and risk their lives);

(WKX had already planned with ZCL for the kid to fake-kill him on the cliff, but ZZS doesn’t know this bc it happened when he was too busy being sexy and bloody while he was captured in Jin);

(WKX had already obtained YBY’s permission to stage the whole thing at the cliff, but ZZS doesn’t know this either for the reasons stated above);

(WKX agrees to help WX while they talk in ghost valley, but soon after his talk with auntie LFM he falls asleep);

YBY knows he is not fighting against WKX but understands why ZZS is doing this and keeps going to keep the pretense up;

ZCL doesn’t understand the person in front of him is ZZS (only bc ZZS imitates WKX so well) and fake-kills him anyway;

ZZS (as WKX) falls down the cliff;

WKX wakes up and discovers he is officially considered to be dead;

WKX is technically free to leave with ZZS if he so wishes, but ZZS is nowhere to be found and he panics;

ZZS had planned to give WKX a way out from jianghu without any more vengeance nor bloodshed and was even willing to die for him by falling down the cliff if that were the case, but he had discovered ZCL’s dart was a fake one and he takes some time recuperating after the fall and hides somewhere;

while everyone is looking for the body and the key, WKX and GX (along with CWN and ZCL) look for ZZS in a race against time;

XW thinks WKX has bolted and didn’t keep his word, so he gives up on the whole plan to see his adoptive father rise just to get him to lose everything in the end, BUT he has already found the witness DK and keeps him around just in case (???);

ZJ gets impatient and somewhat reveals his true colors while they search for a body + XW finally sees through his adoptive father’s bullshit when ZJ publicly denies their affiliation and walks away** from him after revealing he has seen the poisoned weapon used against RX + he brings out the witness DK and reveals he was the one drugging him to become a puppet to frame GC;

YBY confronts ZJ and upholds justice (especially for RX’s death) as he should and captures him in ghost valley;

YBY closes ghost valley himself and orders hot lady LFM to keep an eye on the remaining ghosts to make them atone;

LFM has a chance to be the one keeping ZJ captive and make him pay for what he had done to her and her family (and maybe she cuts his silver tongue out and sends it to XW and maybe he is nice enough to cure her illness for the trouble);

ZCL and WKX (and best girl GXL!) can see themselves vindicated by the knowledge ZJ will rot in the ghost valley with no possibility of ever hoard enough power for himself with those weakened martial arts of his;

WKX finds a bloody ZZS and y’all can have all the hurt/comfort you can possibly want while these two idiots comes to term with the fact that they are two while ass fucking liars who deserve each other for the rest of their mortal lives;

GX can marry her CWN + his master will not interfere bc YBY saw through his greed for power and put him in his fucking place;

**since LQQ doesn’t need to expose ZJ’s true colors for scorpion boy XW, she is not gifted with the recipe for mengpo tea, she leaves YQF to serve XW (or to die, depends on if XW will feel the need to keep him around and feed him the antidote) to either live what little time she (allegedly) has with LFM or she tags along WKX and finds herself in the new Four Seasons Manor and somehow Wu Xi saves her life before she can go back to ghost valley and live a very long and fulfilling life with LFM as sapphics should;

the author of this post is a huge idiot and is well aware this is full of plot holes like a piece of Swiss cheese but damn it if it ain’t a delicious cheese.

PROS:

no immortality (despite how much I love the ending of shl, I know many were hoping for a tyk type of ending so, here’s my solution);

we have a wedding with no bloodshed;

we have sapphics (and a potential new pairing for WX if he keeps insisting on being on his “older men agenda”);

we still have angst with the race-against-time to find ZZS;

the viewer/reader would still be none the wiser if the siege is seen through (what we believe to be) WKX’s pov... but there’s no ZZS in sight either and we then see fake!WKX fall down the cliff only to see real!WKX wake up in ghost valley soon afterwards (and we would still be left bamboozled and in the dark until we understand what ZZS has actually done to give WKX a second chance at life as a normal person).

CONS:

no immortality;

NO “SAVE IT/YOU ARE MY PERSON” SCENE (just to save which I debated against making this very post, just so you know);

NO BELLY HUG SCENE WITH SOFT LAOPO (I deserve to be chased by dogs for this);

no eating ice and snow scene (skin me alive ;^;);

no white-haired WKX;

no sexy dual cultivation;

no armory no mountain no party;

no post-coital, afterglow, flirting, sparring scene with tender gazing on the mountain;

no sweet child NianXiang (kill me for this ;-;)

alternatively:

They discuss like actual soulmates and come up with the plan to fake WKX and ZZS’s death so they can fuck off into the sunset together with their children and live somewhere nice with no jianghu to worry about bc YBY does his best to save them and put ZJ in his place.

~fin.

#word of honor #shan he ling #tian ya ke #faraway wanderers #woh #shl #tyk #fw #wenzhou #sneaky niki #I’m sure I missed many things but.. who cares #fix-it!woh #I’m going to bed #maybe self rebl in the morning who knows

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madisonrooney · 2 years

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hey, it’s your gcwca secret santa again. ⛄️ that song is so good! i can see why it’s your favorite. 💞

loved your video! i didn’t realize how many disney/animated movies had snow scenes. loved seeing httyd in there too!

i’m a big fan of descendants (aren’t we all in the gc? haha) who are your fave descendants characters (like maybe top 5)? would love to hear your thoughts on them, like what you love most about them. 👑

thank you! it started to get harder to think of snow scenes the further in i got lol. httyd is one of my favs!

ooo ok lets go

1. take a WILD guess. lmao mal obvs. beyond just my obvious bias, i do think she's a very layered and developed character and i loved watching her grow from one movie to the next. it's very captivating to see how she deals with her internalized self hatred and the expectations put on to her by her mother and later by all of auradon, and im sure dove pulls from her real life experiences when it comes to that. i also just take a liking to doves more snarky, badass roles (ie. maddie, ruby hale, etc.) 2. dude lol. listen i have had a weakness for talking dogs since i was born and while most of the fandom hated that he started talking i was all for it, especially since it was bobby moynihan who voiced him. granted he doesnt serve all that big of a purpose in the movies but he gets placed this high up simply bc talking dog + descendants = pandering to me. 3. carlos! he's just such a good friend and team player and so sweet. the more ive rewatched the movies, the more ive noticed little moments where he checks in on the other vks or compliments them. im doing my best to not factor in my opinions on the actors irl TOO much but cameron was the cast member i was closest to/got to know the best besides dove so i cant help but think of that when i watch carlos. dove i ofc sought out but cameron more sought ME out just bc of how friendly and giving he was to everyone. ill always cherish that. 4. evie! also a great friend and team player, especially in d3 where she's trying so hard to get everyone to get along. on the surface, she seems so put together and graceful but there are cracks in her shell as we notice in d2 when she's so scared to go back to the isle, and knowing how hard she tries to cover that up makes it all the more heartbreaking. im also a big malvie shipper so theres that, i love how she compliments mal. grumpy girl/bubbly girl is like my FAVORITE trope so naturally i love them together and as individuals. 5. ben! i think i said this last year but much like how everyone in gcwca is a descendants stan as you said, i think everyone is a ben stan too lol. he's just a sweet little puppy dog, i especially love how naive he is when he first gets to the isle. i also love bal and much like evie i think he's a great compliment to mal, but he's a great compliment to everyone honestly! as a good king should be.

who are your favorite descendants characters??

#gcwca secret santa

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jayjaysocks · 4 years

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Listing my favorite animes (because I’m jumping on the bandwagon)

❗️⚠️ *spoilers!! (Duh)* ❗️⚠️

5. Deadman Wonderland

I was really really sad when I found out this anime got cancelled. The music was fantastic, the animation was really good, and the voice acting was incredible. Even the fucking dubbed version (I loved the voice they chose for Senji. God he was hilarious). I binged this show so fucking fast it wasn’t even funny. I loved watching the characters go through their own struggles and grow as people in the very small amount of episodes provided. There was a lot of development within the snippet that we actually saw, and I was thoroughly impressed with how well it was done. I wanted to scream or something when I found out there wouldn’t be a second season.

Sigh. Oh well. At least we got some of the manga’s masterpiece translated into a show, even if we were missing some fucking awesome characters.

4. Guilty Crown

Ugh, don’t even get me started. This anime was beautiful and I got so invested so freaking quickly. I literally go back every few years to rewatch it because I get ship starved.

Shu and Inori’s story was so beautifully done; between Shu uncovering his courage and Inori’s journey of self-discovery, I was continuously awe-struck and filled with feelings—I mean, I had never felt such raw emotion while watching something and I was completely blown away by the affect it had on me. Anger, hatred, sadness, it was all there (even for the main character lmao) and it was one of the first times I had ever felt a ship so heavily that I literally cried at the end. It was one of the very first Animes I’d ever seen and was one of the reasons I got such a taste for them. Thanks for throwing me down that rabbit hole, GC.

3. Soul Eater

This was literally the first Anime I’d ever seen, and my god I couldn’t have asked for a better starter. What I like about this one is that it’s style is so unique and different. It’s very punk and grunge, something I admired and appreciated in a genre that is normally the opposite (like Guilty Crown, for example). Also the fight scenes were badass, like holy shit just look at that gif ??? Freaking amazing.

I loved the way the show transitioned from light hearted to intense and adrenaline pumping so effortlessly. That can be said about a lot of shows, but this one went from *haha cute show* to *holy shit, like they’re actually gonna die ohmygod howaretheygoingtosurvivethis* so smoothly I was genuinely surprised. They made one of the main villains actually cool and each character had their own beautifully done arc. I loved and adored how the show solidified and expanded on the different friendships/relationships that were involved—specifically Soul and Maka’s (also, holy shit, Stein’s arc? Fucking prime, dude). There was a lot of growth in each and every friendship (CRONA!!!), and that really pushed the viewer to invest in the individual characters.

I am fucking delighted that this was my first anime, and (though the ending was a little anticlimactic) it remains one of my top favorites to this day. It set the bar pretty fucking high, and for that I am extremely greatful.

No one asked for Soul Eater: Not! It is the unspoken sin of the Soul Eater world (then again, it is called Soul Eater: Not!)

2. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

If you have been following me for a while, then you are no stranger to my love of FMAB. Some of my most popular posts are about this anime, and for good reason.

Unfortunately, I was late to the party. I actually didn’t watch this until last year, but got invested really damn quick. I have a tendency to be extremely picky about the animes that I watch/like (which is why NONE of these shows are that recent), to the point that I will literally research them before I start watching (a bad habit, do not copy me). I have an incomparably hard time finishing a show when I start, because I get bored really quickly, but this was an exception. I started watching and I just... didn’t stop. I spent a straight week watching FMAB, gobbling it up during any small amount free time I could manage, and finished it before I even knew what happened. I wasn’t picky about it, I didn’t research it, I just dove right in and gosh, I was not disappointed.

The subtle romance that was alluded throughout the entire show was super cute, the devotion the brothers had for each other was to die for, and the struggles that each person went through was more than moving. I never once found myself bored while watching, and that’s saying a lot for my adhd ass. I was invested in each and every second of that damn anime and I was never, ever left underwhelmed. That probably had to do with the fact that every. Single. Character. Had a purpose. I’m not even kidding. Every single person contributed to the big fight at the end and that alone is fucking fantastic.

Not to mention ALL the women, every female character, was a badass bitch. None of them were reduced to sex appeal or romantic subplot, they all had real feelings, real arcs and real, unadulterated badassery that I thoroughly admired and appreciated. I could watch this anime over and over again every single month and I wouldn’t get bored. Between the emotional struggle, self discovery, and personal development of each character, I promise you will not see a lack of plot or meaning here. The more you watch, the more you discover and that is not a lie. There are so many layers to its story, which only makes me wish I had watched this sooner.

There is nothing I have to offer in the ways of criticism, and for that I couldn’t be happier. Thank you, Hiromu Arakawa, for such an incredible piece of art. You deserve every bit of love that this manga/anime gets. You go girl.

1. Cowboy Bepop

Holy shit holy shit holy shit this anime is so fucking good and it has been my favorite for so damn long. I have been watching anime for years, and while some of the shows in my list have moved around, this one has yet to be bumped down from the top (and I doubt it ever will). There’s a reason it became such a cult classic.

For starters, the animation. I mean, just look at Spike and the way they animate his fighting (yes I am aware that this gif is from the movie, but that still doesn’t change my point). The sequences in the show/film have been reused in many other shows and for good reason. It’s good, incredible, actually and they make him look so badass with just a few hand movements. I was consistently impressed with the way the fight scenes were portrayed and wasn’t ever left underwhelmed or disappointed (or, for that matter, feeling like they completely over exaggerated/overcompensated the scene with huge close-ups and tons of debris and lights). I loved watching this and my heart was always pounding with every intense interaction. I didn’t feel bored during any of the episodes and always found myself laughing when they cracked a joke—pretty much all of their funny lines hit and that’s saying something, dude.

The show, while having a lighthearted surface, has a heavy meaning that you don’t see at first glance. It’s about dealing with grief and loss, and how the characters themselves accomplished that in different ways. The most prominent quote is the biggest indication of its moral “you’re gonna carry that weight”. Basically: ‘You’ve gotta pick up your baggage, because the world moves on, with or without you’. Or ‘You’re going to carry that weight whether you like it or not, because life keeps going’. When I figured out the show’s actual message, while staring at my ceiling in the long hours of the night, I almost cried. This realization brought something entirely different to the table, a new understanding of the show’s characters and overall essence.

The main characters, all of them, had depth. They had real, palpable depth, and even if you didn’t want to care you found yourself seriously interested in their lives. Each of them had relatively shitty pasts. Faye with her lost memories, Spike with Julia and the people who fucked him over, Jet with his old flame and the ISSP, Ed and her/his father... throughout the entire show we got to see how all of them dealt with these things, whether they wanted to continue on with life or not. The way they portrayed it was engaging, because the characters individual, contrasting journeys weren’t repetitive or one note. The beauty that the show holds so achinging close to its core, the layers of grief that the characters are wrapped in so delicately is almost suffocatingly real—because they’re all different. It’s something you discover when you think on the subject in a deeper light, which is another reason why I enjoy it so much. It has both a surface story and a deeper one. You can either take the show at face value or choose to understand the underlying moral.

This show inspired my very first, thoroughly fleshed out OC, and continues to inspire me to this day. It has contributed to my own personal growth, and has helped push me to continue my art and writing. It is beautifully written, beautifully executed and even though some of the episodes seem like filler, it has never disappointed me. I rewatch it all the time because there’s something so infinitely refreshing about the beauty of this anime, whether it be the way we watch the characters develop or the overall moral it portrays. This show has given us a message that is essentially timeless, it can be ‘carried’ through generation after generation, and still have the same impact—something I absolutely fucking adore.

I owe so much to this anime, including my very own artistic development. I discovered it during a really shitty time in my life and I couldn’t have asked for better timing. I will never tire of the bittersweet message or the thoroughly fucking fantastic animation. Everyone who contributed to this masterpiece deserves love, because it’s seriously fucking gold.

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gaylittleeddie · 4 years

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I was told to post it by my gc so here it goes. And @riarklus apparently might make a gifset so that’s fun

The water motif + Buddie.

Now trust me I KNOW this sounds a lot like clowning but.... basically in the cinematic world, the reoccurrence of water could mean a rebirth of some sort. Like a new beginning. Basically think of Baptism. Or clarity, truth, purity- fun things ya know? Now, I’m going to go way way back here to the Santa scene. I feel like I don’t even have to elaborate on what that is, we all know. But to open up this theory, I’m going to show you this:

The fact that he included that last part about the fountain is really interesting because the water motif is huge within romance plots. Romeo and Juliet is the most famous example of it. Plus then, there’s the SKAM kiss (thank you @tyler-joseph-kippen for that). It’s just a lot??? Now listen, I’m not trying to say THEYRE DOING THIS. All I’m saying is the fact that he mentioned that and then everything afterwards with water??? Well... It’s a little intriguing.

Especially because this is the first scene where it’s truly recognized that Buck and Eddie are shipped. I’ve even seen some posts stating they started shipping them from just this scene alone. (Rebirth guys) It’s like something was introduced and it reappears in that whole livestream call where people comment that Buck and Eddie would be a cute couple.

Now, next we have the guy in the microwave where Buck dives in the pool and Eddie follows him. I’m not to sure I want to claim that as one of the moments but sometimes this metaphorical message can be just that subtle. They were just doing their jobs tho. A lot of calls have water in them. No biggie.

But then season 3 rolls around and Buck gets caught in the tsunami with Christopher. It’s easy to say the tsunami is a huge thing in regards to how close Eddie and Buck are. In this episode, Buck dedicates the whole time protecting Chris. Then after he loses him, he spends the rest of it looking for the kid, even going as far as jumping in to rushing water to get him. These episodes really started to highlight the fact that Buck and Chris have more of a father-son like bond more than “my best friends kid” one. As confirmed later by interviews where they mention that they decided to do that because one of the directors or something would do it for their kid, even if it was basically suicide. And ever since then, we have more scenes with Buck helping Eddie out more like a co-parent than a best friend with Chris. He’s in a good amount of the scenes we have with him. It maybe marks a new beginning.

Now Eddie Begins. There’s so much in this one- I can’t??? Okay so there’s going to be spoilers here so stop reading now if you haven’t watched.

From the time Eddie volunteers to go in all the way up to when Buck want to dig to find him, it’s raining. That’s kind of tricky but hear me out. Buck was worried about Eddie the whole time. Especially after the the lightning struck and he was trying to get to his best friend with his bare hands.

Then, Eddie almost drowns. During this time, he has flashbacks that have Buck in them 90% of the time. Okay, yes I know that Chris was the main priority of that part though. I’m just saying, a lot of them had Buck. There’s even a couple where it’s just Buck and Eddie (the hug, the truck where they’re laughing and the fist bump). After he says “the family we chose” all three scenes before the Shannon part is all Buck, Eddie, and Chris (as seen below)

All of those little clips are pretty popular moments that the Buddie fandom likes to consider “Buckley-Diaz” family scenes. But that’s a whole different thing. In his presumed last moments, his life flashed before his eyes to all of his happiest times which most included Buck. Basically what I’m trying to say is realization for both of them. Truth and clarity. In the Romeo and Juliet film, the water is connected to this also (along with many other things).

When Buck almost lost Eddie and Eddie almost died, they both definitely had a second where they recognized how important they were to each other. Sure, they might not know that the other had that revelation but you can’t tell me that neither of them could have had it. Especially after the whole reunion scene thing.

When Eddie’s no longer drowning (bc he fought like hell to get back), we cut to the team. It’s no longer pouring. They’re about to search for their teammate. But Buck, probably coming to terms with the fact that everyone else thought he was probably dead, looks completely numb.

Now he seems like someone who just lost everything. I’ve never seen that expression on him literally ever. It’s so sad and just- I can’t. It breaks my heart every time. But basically when everyone reunites, Buck is the second person to him and gripping onto his hand with this huge smile.

Basically what I’m trying to say is they both know now, to themselves, that the other is so important to them. The amount of water in this episode, IF it’s playing into the motif, symbolizes the moments they’re aware of it. Which happened while Buck was topside and Eddie was drowning. Like I said, clarity.

At the end of the day, this probably isn’t true and is just all coincidence. I don’t think the writers are THAT focused on it where it’s like- “oh how can we connect them to the water motif?” It’s just a fun theory/thought. If you read all of this I hope you enjoyed it :) sorry if this was badly explained or hard to understand.

(tagging @resentingthestatusquo bc they mentioned they wanted to see it when I first brought it up on here:))

#tv: 911 #911 on fox #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #otp: you wanna go for the title?#what if im wrong #HAJAJSJAJN #LMAO #enjoy it anyways #thoughts with markie

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mikeshanlon · 4 years

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do you like astrology and if you do what signs do you think the losers are

Okay so shoutout @denbrough (mo) for helping me with this, also @stenbranlons (claudia) for nodding alongin our gc, I’m sorry we talked about this for like a week RGLKNRG. To preface,we are in no way astrology experts lmao, we pulled from several differentsources and picked which ones we felt fit best. Which, that being said, we didnot consider any of the canon birthdays for this, just vibes. Ik some peopleare very particular about astrology headcanons LGRNG so these are just our ownopinions, any differing ones are not less valid or whatever. Also, charts arevery complex and have many different factors, like Mercury for communicationand Venus for love, etc, we just decided to do the main three placements. Incase some of y’all don’t know, someone’s Sun sign is essentially their basicidentity and personality, it’s how we act in the world, and our conscious mind.Our moon sign is our emotional self, our unconscious, how we react tothings, our deepest needs. Some astrologists say this is more like our “trueself”. One’s rising or ascendant sign is our social personality, it is howpeople perceive us, and often how we perceive the world and new experiences—it representsthe “outward”. Some refer to it as the mask we wear around others, though thatdoes not mean our rising/ascendant is fake, but rather how we act and thinkwhen interacting with our environment. Anyways because this is me, theseexplanations became super fucking long so I’m sorry about that! This was superfun though, thank you for asking!

Bill:

Leo Sun: Leos are leaders, theyare very charming and pull people in with their loyalty, humor, and confidence.All of the losers love Bill and are very enraptured by him, Leos tend to be inthe spotlight and adored, so I think this is very fitting. They always want tohelp people but sometimes they can also get fixated and arrogant and end up neglectingwhat others need—for instance Bill being so fixated on finding Georgie that hedoesn’t totally realize the other losers are really scared and getting hurt. Still,Leos are very inspiring and fearless and want their people to be happy. Leosare also quite romantic and generous, which I think are traits that can beattributed to Bill.

Cancer Moon: Okay so I have alwayssaid Bill has Big Cancer Energy, but I think it makes most sense as hisemotional self. Cancers are caretaker types; they want the best for theirfriends and do whatever they can to help them. They are persuasive—sometimes tothe point of manipulation. Many Cancers are afraid of rejection/abandonment(hello Bill’s shitty parents and him holding onto the idea of his brother foras long as possible!) Because they are so caring and sensitive towards theirfriends, they can be quite moody—both anger and sadness. (Bill be Crying andpunching his friends sometimes doe!) Cancers like art and are very imaginative(Bill’s art and writing). When I think of Cancers, I think of tender h*rniness.They fall in love very easily and crave a deep love and can be v thirsty attimes lmao, to me that really encapsulates Bill. Cancer Moons are also verydomestic and love comfort, and while I think Bill likes to go on adventures, Ithink he is someone who enjoys a sort of domestic routine with the people heloves from time to time. Cancer also rules the moon so he’s Extra EmotionalLNRGRG.

Aries Rising: Those with Ariesrising are often leaders, lively, generous, warm, and have a reputation ofbeing a troublemaker. They are rash and jump into situations (HELLO BILL KINGOF DUMB IMPULSE DECISIONS). But, they are very engaging and can be greatmotivational speakers (Neibolt speech teas). They want to help friends to thepoint that if they refuse, an Aries rising individual will refuse to acceptthat rejection. Furthermore, sometimes they can come off a bit like arrogantassholes, but they really do care about their friends and just want to helperklgneg. Aries rising people are very emotional and their impulsiveness cansometimes translate into rushing serious relationships.

Mike:

Libra Sun: Libras are very diplomatic;they bring harmony and balance and can see multiple sides. I think this fitsMike very well, for instance during the scene where the losers are by the PaulBunyan statue, Mike understands why Stan is looking at this logically but healso understands Bill’s emotional reaction. He also understands why Bill andBeverly think they should stay together and help, but he also understands whyRichie/Ben/Stan don’t want to keep going. He tries to get everyone to calm thefuck down and cooperate. Libras hate conflict, aside from Mike’s nonviolence(not wanting to kill the sheep and hesitating to hurt Henry until he knew itwas life or death), he also avoided telling all the losers about why he askedthem to return, showing sometimes his aversion to conflict can be a negative. Librasoften get fixated on one thing—the crazy conspiracist Mike of it all… Iunderstand why people think he could be a Taurus because of his commitment tothe losers and staying in Derry for 27 years, but I think that is super tied tothe idea of bringing justice for those who P*nnywise killed and will try to kill,Libras are super into fighting against injustice. Also, Libras are ruled byVenus and love love and are very charming, I think Mike has a certain pull andmagnetism about him.

Taurus Moon: Individuals withtheir moon in Taurus are very warm, affectionate, and sentimental. They like togather all the facts but can be somewhat impressionable, again I think thismakes sense with how he decides that he believes pennywise exists and hisresearch as he stays in Derry. Speaking of, this line from Mo’s book killed me:“when you’re confronted with a problem you look for the most effective way todeal with it, and even if it’s personally painful for you, you get it handled”.Like. Oh my god. They also like creature comforts—often Taurus is linked withluxury but I think in this sense his ‘luxury’ is his kitschy clutter of thingsthat hold sentimental value—supernatural items, knick knacks from his childhood,his favorite books, etc. He holds these dear and this is probably why his homeis a big ol mess but he likes it and finds it cozy. Speaking of, they are veryromantic and want a life of domesticity, which feels very Mike to me! Theyinvest a lot in their friendships, I think this is true of Mike as well seeingas you know.. he sacrifices years of his life so they can be happy.

Capricorn Rising: Those withCapricorn rising can be quite shy with strangers, but once they get to knowpeople, they are very friendly and warm. They are very dedicated to theirgoals, these goals are often to strive for a better life (Mike wanting to savethe people of Derry, Mike wanting to travel, etc). But sometimes this strivingcan make Cap risings feel unfulfilled and they continue to search for somethingmissing. Capricorn rising individuals are smart and concentrated, they are ableto parse through information and plan ahead, though sometimes they go overevery detail too much—Mike is very into research and understanding things andsearches every possibility. They love deeply and are very loyal and protectiveof those they love. They can worry a lot. Mo also added that cap risings are dependent,reliable, and stable. which can be attributed to mike staying in derry allthose years and keeping that promise to call them. Overall he’s very groundedand down to earth with his rising/moon!

Stan:

Virgo Sun: Virgos are veryanalytical and pay attention to the little details. Often times, this leads tothem being very critical of themselves and others, and they are prone toworrying. I think Stan is someone who tries to navigate through life logically,but he can get caught up in the anxieties of everything going wrong and getoverwhelmed. They often like animals and nature (not to be like Stan likesbirds and plants and shit but he does GLKNRG), and value cleanliness, sometimesthis leads to germaphobia or hypochondria especially because Virgos tend toworry (and we know Stan is a germophobe and deals with OCD, he has to clean thebloody bathroom in a certain way, the painting needs to be perfectly straight,etc.). In friendships, Virgos usually play a role of an advisor—they are veryloyal and want to solve problems but sometimes that means they find problems ineverything (I think Stan tries to advise the group but also Bill is like okaylet’s do it like this

Pisces Moon: Some people view Stanas very emotionless or even angry, but I think he’s quite emotional, he justtries to operate with logic first. Pisces moons are often described as ‘dreamy’and want to escape reality (Stan being like it’s summer let’s just forget what’sgoing on and… other stuff lmao). They are very emotional, but those emotionscan be hard for others to read because they are very mysterious, and even hardfor the individual to express. They have a strange sense of humor (kookiekookie lend me your bonessssss). Those with Pisces moon are very sweet andsensitive to others suffering and are drawn to those in crisis often (like.Literally all of the losers LKGNRKRG) and can be overly trusting (I swear Bill!!!).They are also very afraid of the past coming back to haunt them… :(. Mo the ultimate Stan stan also had this to say: ever since claudia tagged one ofmy posts about stan being one of the most emotional losers but no one evertalking about it, i'm constantly thinking about how stan reacts to things. myinitial reaction was scorpio moon, but scorpio moons are really good at hidingtheir emotions. think about stan's reactions to big events in his life: gettingleft alone in the sewers, his bar mitzvah getting mike's call. he has distinctemotional reactions. pisces is also the sign of sorrow and self-undoing, sothinking back to some canon events it just makes a lot of sense to me. piscesmoons are also really selfless when it comes to their friends, but very strictand disciplined when it comes to themselves.

Aquarius Rising: There’s thissection in Mo’s astrology book that just like. So completely encapsulates Stanand how he interacts with the losers imo: “You are often intolerant of otherpeople’s shortcomings and can be wickedly sarcastic and very funny at the sametime. Your razor-sharp powers of observation help you uncover flaws that youcan poke fun at. You are a system of paradoxes. You enjoy being with people butare perfectly content to be alone. You like to travel but love relaxing athome. You are friendly and outgoing but, at other times, moody and reserved.” Like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Also, those with their rising in Aquarius are very idealistic and want theworld to be happy and harmonious (Stan being like its summer can we chill andnot wanting to be part of any conflict). They can also feel impatient towardsthose who don’t share the same vision.

Beverly: (imma be honest Bev was the hardest toplace so don’t judge lerngerg)

AquariusSun: To me, Aquarians are the epitome of like… chill/friendly stonerthat likes to talk about conspiracy theories and injustices of the world whiley’all are seshing but they are also kinda mysterious bc you never really knowwhats going on in their head …. which is v Bev to me RLGKNNKRG. Aquarians lovehanging out with friends and are really good listeners, which I think is trueof Beverly—they also have odd senses of humor. They are humanitarians that liketo fight for justice, I think Bev is someone who wants to fight for those whoare being hurt bc it’s something she has experienced and wants to provide thehelp that she didn’t get. For instance, she’s the one who’s like we need to gosave Mike, and she also wants to help save Derry and agrees with Bill that theyshould keep fighting Pennywise during the big fight after Neibolt. Aquarians canbe quite paradoxical—at times they are shy, other times loud and eccentric, Ithink this makes sense for Bev, another quality is that those with their sun inAquarius like to have some time alone, both of these things make me think ofthe moments she enjoys on her own and the other times she seeks out fun withthe losers and does crazy shit like jump off a cliff LKGNKNRG. They can bekinda bad at emotional expression and are very guarded with their emotions,sometimes coming of cold/bitchy until they know they can trust someone (Bev toBen at first on the stairs elrkgnerg).

Aquarius Moon: okay Mo wrote this explanation and I thot it was perfect so: Moon in Aquarius brings upthe qualities of sensitivity and perception. Since aqua is the sign of rationalthinking and humanitarianism, moon in Aquarius gives a person a clear mindsetand kinder outlook on life. Moon in Aqauarius are rational, intuitive, andimaginative, which i think can speak for a lot of beverly's character traitsand actions like her monologue in it 2017 where she tries to rationally explainwhy pennywise is going after them and how they have to defeat it, whereaseveryone else is struck by fear and emotional, or at the end of it 2019 whereshe tells richie that eddie is dead, and being intuitive enough to know thatshe has to tell him and tell him in a specific way, the imagination quality isa clear call to her artistic vision as a designer. aqua moons have greatvitality, they're witty conversationalists, and all around great friends. ithink that the friendliness and sociability of her aqua moon can be offset byher sag rising so there's more balance and nuance to her characteristics there.they're interested in the unusual, specifically in people, which could link herto vibing so well with the losers club. they can't stand possessive or jealouslovers, but they unconsciously choose people who aren't available to them (herfirst husband). they need a fine line between commitment and independence,which i think speaks to her behavior as a kid. she needs the stability and thespace to grow she didn't have from her dad. they deeply value platonic love. overall,aqua moons are independent, they have stimulating minds, persuasive charms, anda side of their personality that will always gear towards the unusual

SagittariusRising: Sagittarians love hanging out with their friends, but they alsohave the desire to be free and have adventures (I want to run towardssomething, not away! Queen). They are wise but optimistic, again I think thisties with things like her understanding that they all have to stick together tobeat pennywise, but also believing that they have the ability to kill It aswell. They are humorous and can be quite outgoing and confident, there aretimes when Bev is v confident and wild (teasing Ben, jumping off the cliff,initiating the rock war, etc). Sag risings are also v brave—like every single timeshe fights It or the Bowers or her dad or her husband. They’re good at tellingstories. They are also people who fight for the oppressed and want to createideas that help the world.

Ben:

Pisces Sun: Pisces are super friendlyand will do anything to help others even if they don’t get anything back(Ben!!!!!!!! Ben!!!!!!). They are very compassionate and gentle with others, I thinkthis is very true for Ben as he is p much always super sweet and understanding withthe losers. Their compassion can sometimes lead to being way too trusting—this canbe a problem bc they could fall in with bad company and hate being criticizedand sometimes views themselves as a victim. I don’t think Ben ever tries to like…capitalize on being a victim or anything but I think he does feel that waysometimes especially in regards to Bill/Bev, but he understands that’s her owndecision, again being very compassionate and not expecting anything out of hisactions. Sometimes their strong emotions can manifest in negative ways, likebeing scared, sad, and feeling misunderstood—they also can cry p easily (Ben criesquite a bit for his friends like in the sewers and his own romantic feelingsand stuff). They are super romantic and love unconditionally. They are also quiteintuitive, I think this makes sense (in tandem with the romanticism) withthings like kissing Bev to save her, understanding where to look into stuff inregard to the pennywise bullshit, etc.

Taurus Moon: We’ve talked aboutthis a bit with Mike, but I think Ben is also a Taurus Moon! LunarTaureans are very sentimental and have deep, strong emotions. They are vromantic and hang on to their relationships, both platonic and romantic, (thepostcard…….) they want a devoted and committed relationship that providessecurity. Those with their moon in Taurus really invest a lot in their friendships,I think friendship is one of if not the most important thing to Ben so thismakes a lot of sense to me. There’s a line in one of the sites I looked at thatfeels SO Ben to me: “Taurus moon sign energy has two speeds: relaxed andcontented […] or hyped-up and ready to charge”. That totally reminds me of howBen is usually p chill and easy going but when the people he loves arethreatened he goes crazy to protect them (the rock war scream and him going crazyduring that LGKNNRG and fighting pennywise, etc). While Mike’s affinity for luxuryis more like…. Kitschy clutter trash GLNRG, I think Ben’s interest in architecturefeels v luxurious and the importance of a home base makes sense for him. TaurusMoons also like to gather all the facts first—this makes sense in how heapproaches his friendships/relationships but also other things like investigatingDerry.

Libra Rising: Let’s go diplomatic romanticslet’s goooooooooo!!! Libras want harmony and are therefore good mediators, theywant everyone to have a good time and are good at teamwork. I think this makessense for Ben and can especially be seen in scenes like the reunion dinnerwhere he tries to calm everyone down and let Mike be heard. They are persuasivebut often do so with a ‘nice guy’ approach rather than like Charm andConfidence like Leo/Aries. Again, Libra Risings are SUPER romantic and havegood intuition, they usually know when they have a chance with someone and willcreate an ideal vibe for their relationships to bloom. They like to plan aheadfor the future with their loved ones (hello argument scene where he’s like imgonna be 30 and far away from here). They also feel like they need anotherhalf, which i think is true for romance but also just like. He needs hisfriends and really loves/cares about them. Those with their rising in Libraalso really care about home aesthetics and having a balanced space, again I thinkaiding in his architecture career.

Eddie

Sagittarius Sun: Tbh, I was v tornbetween sag and scorpio for Eddie’s sun, but I think Sagittarius best describeshis sun and Scorpio for his emotional self. Sagittarians are curious and fullof energy, and they value freedom (hello let Eddie be free!!!!!!). They can besuper impatient and tactless with some of the things they say, which is a veryEddie thing to me lernrgge. Furthermore, they can get angry pretty quickly aswell, and often talk quickly too (Eddie speaks so fucking fast and snaps easilyat everyone erglknegr). They also have good senses of humor; they like to teaseothers. Those with sun in Sagittarius are dedicated to their friends and arewilling to do anything… like defy their awful mother and crawl through a sewerwith a broken arm to fight a murderous clown. Sometimes they have blind faithin others, which I think could be translated to his relationship with Bill andto a more intense and negative respect, his mother. Sags want to find knowledgeand understand other people’s beliefs, and they are very vocal about their own,even to the point of exaggeration (like every single rant Eddie goes on LMAO).They also like sports which like LET EDDIE RUNNNN. Also, not to be a reddie butin looking at compatibility with the signs Gemini/Sag fit so much better forthem and made a lot of sense to me.

Scorpio Moon: Those with theirmoon in Scorpio are very emotionally intense and can be quite dramatic. Thiscan allow them to be quite perceptive of the emotions of others. However, theyare very good at hiding their own emotions because they often disprove of themand deny that they are motivated by their strong emotions. (hello repressedEddie). This helps Scorpio moons feel in control, but it can be detrimental. Ireally love this line from Mo’s book: “you must learn to let go emotionally andfeel your pain, and through the experience expand your phenomenalability to love”. Yup lover!!!! Scorpio moons are also very determined andpersistent…. fighter eddie!! Lover and fighter eddie!!! This made me kinda sad,but it says that there’s usually sorrow/trouble in the lives of Moon-Scorpiosand those are often tied to family and health… :/ and that they think ofescapist fantasies to cope with that. Scorpio moons are sensual but thestereotype of ~super sexy scorpio~ is kind of misleading. They have huge trustissues and don’t want to be controlled (oop… also they usually get married multipletimes lmao), it takes a lot for them to be trusting in love but when they do it’sa very deep love.

Virgo Rising: Those with theirrising in Virgo are BIG worriers and are super analytical, they often noticetiny details. (Maybe a dumb thing but Eddie is always the first to notice whenone of their friends is gone in the sewers, also in more funny and little wayslike him sniffing Ben’s perfume—that also ties in with his Sag curiosity imo).However, even though they notice details and can be intuitive, they miss out onemotional nuances. Sometimes they can be a little too forward and matter offact with people—I think Eddie speaks before he thinks a lot LKRG and can saysome rude shit sometimes without realizing it. (Ik this is kinda like my own stuffbleeding through but in general I think Eddie can be oblivious to other’semotions LRNGKNLG). They are very critical—often towards themselves, they areinsecure and beat themselves up over just about every little thing they do (SUCHan Eddie thing to me). Furthermore, they are guarded with their emotions untilthey have analyzed the situation and feel comfortable (again. Very Eddie tome). This often means they come off as timid and at times cold/stand-offish,which I think in new situations or times when Eddie’s unsure (aka has not analyzedeverything and feels unsafe whether physically or with his emotions), he tendsto draw in on himself and stay quiet. (But, then, his fire Sag side comes burstingout when he just can’t take it anymore and goes bonkers LKGRNG). Virgo risingsare organized and care about hygiene and cleanliness and are very in tune withtheir body (of course, Eddie’s obsession with cleanliness and hygiene/healthhas a lot to do with his mother’s abuse, but I also think there are some parts withinhim inherently who care about those things, it just got exacerbated in anextremely negative way bc of his mother). Interestingly, Virgo risings are veryenergetic, often with nervous energy, and have a hard time staying still—this feelsvery Eddie to me, his pacing and emphatic hand gestures, etc.

Richie:

Gemini Sun: Geminis are superwitty and funny and love to have a grand ol’ chaotic time with their friends,but then can turn serious suddenly. Oftentimes they feel restless and feel likethey are missing their other half so to speak (the yearning… the emo moments…).They’re very sociable and hate being alone, they love to entertain others, theyare strong communicators. Their love for communication often means they feelthe need to talk A LOT, even to strangers. (Trashmouth Tozier always talking!—Mopointed out that Richie’s talking is so bad that they had to create a separate phase,beep beep, just to be like We Seriously Want You To Shut Up, which I thinkmakes sense for all his placements bc they’re all like. One’s where the person talksso fucking much GRLNRG my annoying king

Gemini Moon: Yup double geminilove this obnoxious legend!!! (jk I like geminis but. It’s true. I am also sayingthis as a gemini moon). A lot of the stuff about his sun can be applicable herebut I’ll add on bc I am incapable of shutting up (the gemini moon of it all…) Thisis from Mo’s book again, I’ll just add some commentary/examples as to why Ithink it fits with Richie: Gemini moons are mutable and erratic. they have anactive mind, and imaginative and creative personality, and are inclined to intellectualpursuits. they have extraordinary quick sensory impressions of the outsideworld and they rapidly sift through info in their minds to make judgements.fast learners, high iqs probably , good critics and have the ability to bothanalyze and verbalize (despite some fanon interpretations, Richie is actually reallysmart, he’s good at math/science, I believe he’s also into politics later in college?).they have great charm. conversations with gemini moons tend to go off onunexpected tangents and take sudden turns and reverse (This feels SO Richie tome lekrnglenr). at heart, a lunar gemini is essentially restless and needsconstant stim (Makes sense for Richie for me, also with his ADHD, he needs tobe playing video games or reading a comic or doing this and that, he hatedhaving to be look out and do nothing for like an hour ergklnerg). lunargemini's are always mentally assessing their feelings. they tend to dissecttheir feelings and emotions to analyze why they think or behave in a certainway. they're quick witted and vibrant and can change their minds often. inemotional relationships they display a free spirit, going on the whims of theother person's emotions. at times their talent can be isolated because theylose interest in this quickly and drop their projects. they perform well whenin a relationship with someone practical and hardheaded (inch resting……..)

Pisces Rising: Taking some morestuff from Mo’s book, these lines I think really resonate with Richie’s outwardself and how he deals with the world: “You want life to be perfect and since itisn’t, you choose not to see what you don’t want to see”. That is SUCH a Richiething to me. “At parties Rising-Pisceans are vivacious and verbal (sometimesyou talk too much); you enjoy performing in front of a group. A talent formimicry makes many Pisces Ascendants turn to theater”. Literally Richie… the Voices,the talking too much and wanting to entertain the losers…. Those with Piscesrising are also very romantic and want to live a fantasy life, but they can bevery sad and moody especially because they feel like they are destined to bealone. (Richie yearning gay….) They are also quite disorganized but work wellin groups (let’s go loserssss clubbbbbb!!!).

#it #the losers club #literally im so sorry this is so long LKRGKLRNGR #anon #ask

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macklives · 5 years

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session 63 end

okayyy. neat-fucking-o. thats done and boy OH FUCKING BOY i have a lot to say. and this is going to get mildly serious. sorry. theres a lot to uncover this session which basically is just one huge overall plot point. the whole timeline shindig. the thing that has messed me up for a few hours ngl.

man.... this is gonna be a long one. im not even exaggerating. (still, a tldr at the end)

so, the main thing besides from the time shindig plot, which is both important and essential and precious: DAVESPRITE <3

k cool. ill expand on that throughout this whole note, but would rather like to make a whole analogy first before i do so.

so, to start off from last session, dave went back in time to fix jade and john’s death.

but i guess, from what ive read, GC never realized what she did was bad. she basically screwed everyone over and dave had to go back to fix things, which yes, does sound bad. but honestly? i dont think she really realized how bad it was until davesprite had the talk with her. and now they are both friends i take it, shocking development. but thats between davesprite, rather than dave himself so there may be two different views on how he sees GC. anyways, it was pretty bad. i wont just forget that. i love her character but she killed off two characters (who thankfully are now alive), making dave a sprite and future rose to just not exist anymore. or... well.... she does, but she seemed to have fused with PRESENT rose. which i guess we’ll figure out how that works the next time we see her. which will probably be on derse.

but, tbh, GC wanted to apologize and felt bad about the whole situation. so im giving her the benefit of the doubt here.

now.. man...

can i take a second to analyze davesprite? and a little bit about the concept of john/dave’s friendship (just a tad)? ie the two greatest things in the world? thanks.

i think the thing that hit me the hardest was how davesprite (im calling him that to distinguish which dave im talking about but keep in mind i should be calling them both dave. but this makes it easier to write up.) well, davesprite explained how he’d continue to reset the timeline until john and jade are alive. which basically means he would use himself as a sacrifice to allow their survival. which ALSO means he cares more for them than he does himself. he’d throw his life away for them. he knew there was a possibility of him ceasing to exist if they reset the timeline again. he literally said it in such a nonchalant way that it makes me wonder how much his friends really mean to him. which in retrospect, is a lot. now pls keep this in mind for the next part.

now, dave also has so much appreciation towards himself. but not in the cocky way, of course. rather in the way that shows self love?? kinda?? like he genuinely wanted to hang with davesprite, brainstorm his comic and vice versa bc they both think their alt version is that cool. i know it should sound kinda narcissistic, but listen. a lot of people dont often appreciate themselves for who they are. and what i really want to emphasize on that here, is that this comes back to the whole putting himself before others thing. because that specific line i mentioned before is a BIG FUCKING DEAL. since dave thinks so highly of himself as a cool guy, rad dude, arent we so awesome type kid that he LITERALLY didnt care for his life in that one hot second. he made sure he was a pawn used to help out his friends rather than an actual human being who should worry about his life as well. he didnt care if he survived or not in the process of making sure everything was going alright. which is such a fucking leap from this whole self-respecting thing. its as if that didnt matter anymore. and that takes a fucking beating. that shows how much dave truly loves his friends. do you know how fucking BIG THAT WHOLE DEAL IS?

take john for example. dave didnt give two shits who the person on the other line was. he found out GC was the troll who killed john and basically threatened her with every inch of his life to make her back away from him. he knew what it would cause and said “fuck you” in bright and bold. all because he didnt want to see his friend die again. which? fair enough. and if we look back at the last session, god that could mess someone up. especially someone as young as 13. rose even got the worst end of the stick bc she flat out ceased to exist. but then again, thats in the same boat as jade/john. bc they all technically died. yet davesprite didnt. he remembers it. davesprite isnt just going to forget. he’s going to have surviver’s guilt for a long time, because being dave’s guide will forever be a reminder that he’s the version in the doomed timeline. he’s the only one who knows what happened, and he wont become the “true dave” in a sense that he’s now just considered “davesprite” and nothing more, since he cant just be dave since his timeline ended up fucked. not to mention he technically said he was fine with it, bc since it meant the others survived, he wouldnt care what happened to his life. even tho he should and it still probably hurts him idk. and that kills me a little. actually, more than a little. this is personally the most gut wrenching scene in homestuck (but i may just be speculating too much). but that wont stop him from helping dave and giving him all the answer, and also protecting john with everything he has.

and, man, i feel as if he’s gonna be such a good guide for dave. he already gave him the loot, the rundown and is very open about questions dave already has because he knows how tough it probably is to have a shitty guide. considering he was stuck with calsprite for 4 months. so obviously he’s going to help as much as possible. since he probably had little to none and didnt learn as much as he should have through the course of sburb. but now, as a guide, he can easily access all the info he lost during the pathway of his timeline. and share it with dave so he doesn’t struggle and actually completes the game rather than end up in a doomed timeline like himself.

but yes. dave’s blatant adoration for john basically saved them both in a way. and it seems as if its a little mutual considering john told dave he’d always believe him no matter what in the end. how he reconsidered everything, remembered the note and realized how good their friendship is to just give it up like that. and then vice versa. dave couldnt continue on the game without him or jade, so he went back in time. and showed his pissed-off protective side in order to save john again. which warms my heart bc they both mean so much to each other. and both got each other super sentimental gifts and wrote each other such touching cards.

and thats a good way to end the session, i think.

so there we have it. ive never wanted to hug a character so bad than i do with davesprite. i just hope everyone at least acknowledges him in some way, and gives him some amount of respect for what he did for everybody. ive only met him for like 10 pages, but i think he’s the most emotional character so far. and i guess since he’s dave himself, and i feel for dave based on his situation with bro, its safe to say i would protect him with my life. which i dont want to be *that* person but hey, its true. its just that he’s been through so much bullshit, and davesprite is the only survivor of his timeline, always will be reminded of it whenever he sees dave/john/rose/jade playing the game, is now a fucking sprite who wont be able to live his own path but just be a guide and god, i feel for him. i really do.

i shouldnt have written such a long note about davesprite.. but his whole story as to how he became a thing really got to me, alright?

i should write a tldr, cool. here yall go; i actually love davesprite, he’s been through some shit and he deserves hells of respect. GC is forgiven and we’ll find out next time how both version of rose.. fused together?

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #hs63 #hs63 end

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imchick · 4 years

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November 24, 2019, the most magical day of my life. ❤

Okay! Hard part is over! 😛 I don’t really like being the center of attention and all. You might say it’s the same since everyone will still be looking at us the entire time. But, with the other half, the reception — people are more relaxed. Everyone will be dancing, talking to each other, singing and eating their hearts out! So, less judging and critical eyes on us. 😀

Our Reception was held at Aquila Crystal Palace. It’s about 30 – 40 minutes from our Ceremony. We had time to relax and just talk to each other in the car on the way there. Mind you, we were still with our bride & groom assistants.

To give you a preview – here’s what it looked like. ❤

BUT BUT BUT! Before we get to that, let’s go back to the start. Shall we? While we were taking our post-nup pictorial, we prepared welcome snacks and drinks for our guests!

Our supplier for this Gabrielle’s Appetizer. We prepared 200 mini sandwiches (cucumber & kani, chicken salad, tuna salad, egg & bacon), 150 mini burgers (chicken and beef), 200 crostinis (gorgonzola bacon, goat cheese & fig ham, prosciutto & brie, smoked salmon) and 2 gallons of cucumber lemonade

I’m so happy to be hearing good feedback from our guests! Their favorites? the mini burgers! But before they can eat, they will pass by our Signages!

I’m proud to say that I designed all the layouts, with the help of my husband, of course. ❤ We decided to maintain the theme of our invitation – White Marble is such a classic and classy design. Aside from the welcome signage, I wanted to add a little extra! – An Infographic of our love story. ❤

While others are eating or taking a photo in our photobooth, we also prepared some games before everything starts!

I personally created a Word Search Game with Startbucks GC for their prizes! I devised a personalized puzzle with words that have roles or connected to our relationship. For instance – Management Trainee (we were both Management Trainees in a bank. This is how we met) 😀 Everything is so much more special when it is personalized. Do you agree?

Before they officially enter the reception area, I also insisted that I wanted a signage for their Seating Arrangement:

I’m definitely proud of this! I’m a huge, huge fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S! I insisted to insert the friends theme in our seating arrangement! The heading is The One Where We got Married (just like how all their titles are worded). ❤ I also named our tables with all the memorable lines / quirks of the series such as Pivot, Big Fat Goalie, How you Doin and etc.

I also asked our host to ask our guests whether they know what theme our seating arrangement is. I prepared a FRIENDS themed prize also, which I bought online (a Friends Door Keychain).

The One thing that will welcome our guests upon entering the place is our Animated Monogram.

At first, I wanted a White Background with Gold font for our names. But our coordinator pointed out that I may not be seen if the background is also white. 😛 So, we decided to switch to Dark Green, still in line with our theme. ❤

Okay! So when we arrived at the scene, it’s time for our make-up retouch and time to fill our stomach with the incredible feast we chose for our guest. ❤ It was really delicious. While we were having our early dinner, there’s another game inside the reception: TRIVIA GAME where we gave out bags of chocolates for every correct answer. Some of the questions were: First movie together, Who said I love you first, Term of Enderament, Favorite Series Marathon food. (Some of the answers to the questions were posted in our Infographic) 😀 Clever. Huh?

Initally, we wanted the Fireworks at the end of the program. But we were also hesitant to schedule it after since it was Sunday and our guests might leave early.

Proven! Guests really do enjoy the fireworks! It also elevates your event! ❤ After the fireworks, guests were asked to return to their seats for the Grand Entrance. 😛

Our Bridal Squad were introduced in the tune of Dura by Daddy Yankee. while our Groom Squad danced to Boneless by Steve Aoki.

As you can see, our male squad is definitely more coordinated with Matt Stefanina dance moves. Hence, they won the challenge of who’s better. 😛

Followed by the entrance of our esteemed entourage, our Prenup / Save the Date Video was shown to all of our guests.

And our Grand Entrance in the tune of Good Life by One Republic, inspired by our Wedding Hashtag of #itsJANNAbeaJUDElife transalated as It’s gonna be a good life.

TIP: Please please be witty enough to think of your own wedding hashtags! One, it’s simply fun. Two, it will encourage your guests to use your hashtag. Three, you’ll have an easier time in collating pictures and videos related to your event if it’s clear that YOU are the only ones using it instead of #JudeandJannaforever or #JudeandJanna2019. Maximize the power of hashtag!

For our Grand Entrance, we decided to use our Indoor Fireworks (which is not shown in the photo) plus this heart shaped confetti free of charge from our Coordinator. ❤

Followed quickly by our entrance, we gave a bit of our opening remarks to our family, friends and loved ones who celebrated with us.

Our first ever dance as a married couple is in the tune of Say you won’t let go by James Arthur. 🙂 This is also the song I was singing to when he proposed. ❤ This song is really special. ❤ Again, there were Indoor Fireworks and confetti as well.

Wedding Traditions followed such as Cake Cutting and Wine Toasting!

Our 3 tier carrot cake is designed with pure white with gold highlights with huge floral appliques. It’s so good! I’m actually sad that we forgot that it was in our ref.

The wine that we toasted is free from our package with Aquila Crystal Palace. If I remember it correctly, it was not hard because I finished it instantly. ❤

My sister, one of the Matrons of Honor started the speech followed by my Brother in law and finally, my Best friend ended the speeches by inviting everyone to offer a toast for our marriage. ❤

After the long speeches, it’s time for the most awaited time of our guests! Dinner time. ❤ The cousins of my groom, Seth and Yohan led the prayer.

While the guests were eating or in line to get their food, some of the music that we chose to be played are the following: The way you look tonight, Collide, The last time, if I ain’t got you, Everything, Perfect and Close to you among others.

Well, you know how this goes already. . . . . before they can even line up to the buffet, they all have to take a picture with us. ❤ Here are some of them.

While eating, another batch of Speeches coming from our Principal Sponsors.

Principal Sponsor speeches! We had to choose one from each of our side. My God mother, sister of my father gave a speech while it was a Family friend from the Groom’s side. After the speeches, a couple of games again — which is the second best game! Minute to Win It – Wedding edition. ❤

So we filmed a one time, one shot games of: Segregate it, Pingpong Ball, Shoot the Ball etc. Each table have to guess who won whether it’s the Bride and the Groom! Everyone turned out to be competitive at this part. ❤

After an interactive game, it’s the Parent Dances!

We decided to dance simultaneously to the tune of You are so Beautiful by Joe Cocker. 😀 I was scaring my dad and reminding him of their speech! 😛 while I think my mother in law is having the best time dancing with his son. ❤

After a bit serious of dances, it’s fuckin time for another game! Another game? We can never miss out on Single’s Game! To get the suspicion out of their minds, our host called them like they are about to receive a prize.

Men are lined up in front – a music is played and whoever dances the right move first gets to seat down! The following music were played – Watch me whip, Soulja Boy, Teach me How to Dougie, Gangnam, Level Up, Stayin Alive, Thriller and Can’t Touch this.

Then whoever doesn’t dance, will remain in front and the ladies will start searching for the safety pin. The lady who doesn’t find a single pin, loses. ❤

The losers of both games, or rather the last man and woman standing wins a Starbucks GC which they can use to go on their ‘date’ – a little matchmaker doesn’t lose its touch on weddings!

It’s my husband’s colleague and one of my closes high school friend! ❤ And after this fun game, our host now calls on both of our parent’s for the wise words.

It’s the Welcome to the Family speech! It’s such a cliche but really overwhelming. It warms your heart, right? I felt really happy to hear it goes both ways. ❤ I have no better way of saying this but it felt really good.

Before the night is over, we prepared some awards to be given to our guests.

Cool Tito Award (right picture) and Fab Tita Award where we award the Best Dressed one – we gave them Wine and a Tefal Pan. ❤ We also awarded Dressed to Kill (Upper Right) for the Best Dressed Millenial and we gave them a 6-pack beers and a Make Up Kit. Lastly, we gave out a Grand Prize (Lower Right) for the best picture and handed them a powerbank.

Then we played our On Site Photo and our Save the Date Video. ❤

Look at our faces!! ❤ Our Photo Team is led by TJ of Timoteo Photo and our SDE was created by Mac by Stories by Supermac! Extremely in awe, hearts bursting with joy and overwhelmed with gratitude and love. ❤

Before our night ends, we said our Thank yous and invited them for a night full of dancing and drinking!

Look at our ceiling treatment filled with an all white embellishments and gold highlights and black draping to make our ceiling pop out! ❤

The night ends as mentioned, with drinking and dancing! ❤ ❤ ❤

Our last picture before our guests go back to Manila! First up, my colleagues!

My brother and his girlfriend before they fled out of the scene. 😛 Haha. Next? Our Wedding Buddies, one week apart and now, we’re all married. ❤

I always come in threes, Don’t I? And Of course, My Bestfriends since High School.

It always put a smile on my face when I see my friends from different groups come together like this. 🙂

And before this day ends, I need a picture with my husband. ❤

I love you so much, husband! ❤ ❤ It’s been five months and it’s still the Best Day of My Life. ❤

EVERYDAY: Our Wedding (Reception) November 24, 2019, the most magical day of my life. ❤ Okay! Hard part is over! 😛 I don't really like being the center of attention and all.

#Animated Monogram #Aquila Crystal Palace #bride & breakfast #fireworks #Gabrielle&039;s Appetizer #marriage #Reception #wedding #Wedding Dances #Wedding Games #Wedding Speeches #Wedding Traditions

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waitingissuchpain · 5 years

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In Consult - Chapter 2

Characters: Jungkook, IU, OC, Lisa

Genre: Slowburn, Office!AU, Angst, Fluff, Mentions of Smut

Pairings: Jungkook x Y/N, Jungkook x IU

Chapter 1

Plot: Eri Kim. A 20-year old fresh graduate who got accepted into her first job as a process executive. Once she was introduced to the production floor, there she met Yukio Mita. A tenured agent who was assigned to help the new hires out, including herself. Slowly as time goes by, Eri found herself being attracted to Yukio. Seems harmless right? That’s when she realizes Yukio has a girlfriend. Would she continue on with her feelings or should she back off?

New faces. New clothes. New surroundings. Seeing handbags and sophisticated things in their hands instead of piles of readings and a backpack is so weird to me. They all look so… serious and mature. Am I really in the right place? Thank God I’m with Hisa. Grinning at her widely as I tug on her sleeve. “You ready?” I ask as Hisa grins, shaking her head softly as he sighs. “Lets get it on bitch.”

Walking straight inside the building, being greeted warmly by the staff as we both grin widely, saying our hellos loudly as we giggle, running inside to the hall where we’re going to have our first few orientations from the company.

The start was already going so good. Just when we thought it couldn’t get better, we thought wrong. Walking into another building, seeing the biggest search engine in the world’s logo in the lobby of the office made my jaw drop. Holy shit, it was real. It wasn’t a scam.

“Ya.. this is the real shit. Can you imagine we’re going to work at this kind of place?” I mumble a whisper to Hisa, who was equally checking out the place, nodding slowly. “Jackpot.”

Imagine getting any better than that? Huh. The following week, we went to another building. They said this is where we’ll work. And might I just say, Holy Lord God did I save a whole country in my afterlife to deserve this kind of work and workplace? Jesus Christ.

The smell of fresh lavender engulfing my nose as we walk around the lobby of our building, seeing the fun and quirky seats on the sides and the big sign of “Diagonally” on the receptionist’s desk. The staff smiling widely as we were escorted to the conference room, it didn’t even look like a conference room at all. It felt like a theater if I were to be honest.

“Working here would be a fucking dream.” I mumble loud enough for Hisa to hear. “I know.” She replies. And then our trainer came in, introduced herself and I’ve never had a more friendly trainer in my life.

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Being able to work in one of the biggest and most prestigious companies in the world, it’s expected that the training period would take forever. Thank God our trainer was kind enough to teach us everything there is in the easiest way possible. She made us understand clearly every lesson and tool we were to use at the production floor, where we’re going to work.

We were already enjoying the time we spent with each and everyone in our wave. Our trainer, even the room where we’re always at. We were starting to get comfortable - well at least I was. I had people I can call as mom and dad, a few pairs at least. But before we knew it, we were being sent down to the production floor for nesting. You can call it as a trial period to see if you’re fit for the work given or if you’ll have to say goodbye.

Nerve-wrecking. Anxious. Everything negative I was already feeling it. Do you know that feeling when your gums suddenly gets so itchy you can’t do anything about it? Yeah. That kind of feeling. God, we were going to be put to the test, whether we’re worthy enough to handle cases or are we just not for this job.

First day at the job, even though I was part of the less fortunate people in our wave who only had one day of rest for that week, I was excited and scared at the same time. A part of it was because Hisa’s schedule is different from mine. Separation Anxiety? Maybe. Walking into the office, all dressed up and had a smile on my face as I greeted the security guard before finally entering the production floor. Hm, Odd enough there wasn’t many people present that day - well it was a sunday so I guess it’s understandable.

You know those typical scenes in the movies where everyone’s rushing to get the papers off their hands, or when they’re running around the floor trying to read the papers they had as quick as possible while drinking their steaming hot coffee? Yeah i didn’t see that in our office. It’s a lot more… chill here.

“Wave 48?” I was taken back to reality when a girl with pretty highlights on her hair and comfy clothes called out our wave, smiling widely as we all walk towards her and two other guys beside her, greeting them a good afternoon since it was almost going to be 2pm, start of our first shift. Our first day.

“Okay, so just look for an open station where no one’s assigned to and go log in. Once everyone’s settled we’ll be starting the shift.” She explains with a smile as we all disperse to look for a place we’d be comfortable in working at. Settling for a seat close to the window just because the view looks so gorgeous. Something I can look out at when I already feel stressed from the cases I’ll be receiving.

It’s been about fifteen minutes since I’ve logged in onto my laptop, just scrolling through the tools that we’ll be using as well as looking at my social media accounts here and there when the Production floor GC started to make noise. “Hello, I’ll be assigning 5 cases per person in awhile.” Someone said in the gc while we all acknowledged, waiting for the cases to load onto our laptops as I plug in my earphones, already opening up spotify to play some music to distract my nervousness.

“Don’t worry, you can ask us for clarifications before you send out the emails you’ll be composing. Just track them onto the tracker when you’re done and wait for our go signal.” They explained as we were all nodding and getting ready to show them what we’ve got.

Actually handling a live case was more nerve-wracking than I thought it would. “Hey.. Queen. Are you ready?” I mumble as I grin widely, nudging her shoulder as she looks at me with a confused face. “Do you think we have a choice?” She spits back as I hum in agreement, leaning back to my seat as I see the queue on my laptop change. Fuck. I have cases now.

Totally forgetting everything I’ve learned from training, I start to panic just from reading the first few lines of their issue. “Jesus Christ… why did I not listen…” I mumble against myself as I bite my lower lip nervously, sighing deeply as I shake my head gently. Re-reading the case as I get the things I need to take down to assist the person contacting us. Taking down notes on what to take a screenshot on, to see if they’re eligible for it, checking every little thing before I go and look for someone available to ask if what I did was correct.

Biting my lower lip as I look over my friend, Queen, who was already stressing over her own cases I decided not to disturb her. Getting up as I look around for an available tenured agent to ask from. Almost giving up as I see the girl from before have everyone else surrounding her, I see a guy wearing a red jacket, a little on the thin side, maybe the same height as I am also very quiet. I also remembered he was with the girl from before, Cathy, yes.

“Hi? Can I ask you or?” I mumble out as I walk forward, unsure if I should go on and ask him or not since he wasn't even looking at me. Slowly, he turned his head towards me with a neutral look on his face before nodding slowly. “Okay.. so he’s asking about having this official badge.. I’m not quite sure if what I’m doing is right so… can you help me out?” I ask as I try to walk back to my station, hoping he was right behind me as I sit on my chair, showing him the inquiry as he leans down, reading the query quietly, nodding. “Hm.. yeah. You can just take a screenshot of his homepage, as well as his writings to see if he’s authorized to these and then you can send the email to him.” He says quietly as he nods before walking back to his station. Already saying “Yes” to my case on the trix, making it good to go for sending the email.

“That was easy.. I guess?” I say to myself as I send my very first email of the day. My very first email as an employee. I hum at myself as I take a look back at the matrix. Reviewer’s name: Yukio. So his name’s Yukio, nice to meet you Yukio.

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adorkablephil · 5 years

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Fic: Snow Angel

Title: Snow Angel Summary: Dan’s been watching YouTuber Phil Lester for years, but Phil doesn’t even know he exists. Of course, that’s because Dan is Phil’s invisible guardian angel. Rating: PG (for Dan’s foul mouth) Word Count: 15.4K Author’s Note: Written for @jorzuela in the 2019 @phandomreversebang. She offered a variety of possible elements and asked authors to choose 3 or more to make their own prompt. I chose winter, party, birthday, magic, hurt/comfort, angels, AU, and coffee. She made multiple pieces of art for this story, which was incredibly generous of her! A million thanks to @ky-thewolf for the dedicated, supportive, and extremely helpful beta work! The three of us were an unbeatable team in our Twitter gc! Also available on AO3

Phil sat on the sofa, not talking to anyone, with a paper plate of cake on his lap. It was white cake. Who likes white cake? Why did David buy white cake for Phil’s birthday? Didn’t he know Phil at all? They’d been flatmates for three years, but David bought him white cake. Didn’t he know red velvet was Phil’s favorite? Did he even care? David had taken the big rectangular white cake out of a Tesco box with a discount price tag on it, and it tasted a little stale.

David was hogging all the attention, too, telling some funny story that had everyone laughing, all gathered around him. No one noticed Phil, even though the party was supposed to celebrate his thirtieth birthday. A milestone, right? Thirty. It was a big deal. But Phil just sat there alone on the sofa. David had invited mostly his own friends, anyway. Phil didn’t have that many friends. Not enough to make a party, just maybe enough to go to a nice dinner or something, which was more Phil’s type of thing. He didn’t really like parties. He tended to hover in the corner near the snack table.

Everyone was enjoying David’s stories so much that no one even noticed when Phil got up and set his paper plate on the side table, grabbed his warmest coat, walked quietly to the front door of the flat, and left. Just got up and walked away from his own birthday party.

A few minutes later, he brushed some snow off a bench and sat down in the little park across the street from the flat. Well, not really a park, just a bit of greenery in the middle of their London neighborhood. He’d always liked snow, but tonight it didn’t make him happy like it usually did. He just sat on the snowy bench under a street lamp, shoulders hunched against the cold, hands shoved into his coat pockets to keep them warm.

—

It was just too much. Watching him suffer like that … it was too much.

—

A pair of black boots appeared in the snow some distance from where Phil was sitting. The boots had zips. He liked zips. Not Phil. Him. He liked black, and he liked zips. Zips on everything, even when they weren’t necessary. Unconventional, unnecessary zips. He didn’t wear them often, because he wasn’t often in a human body, but he enjoyed them. When humans invented zips, they’d really been onto something.

His coat had zips too. A black coat, of course. He watched Phil from afar, just sitting on that bench and staring at the ground, and then he started walking toward him. Two paper cups of coffee appeared in his hands. When he got to the bench, he offered one of the cups to Phil, who startled slightly, looking up into his face. “Sorry. I didn’t notice you there,” Phil said, then looked in confusion at the cup of coffee being offered.

“You looked cold. I thought you might like a cup of coffee.”

Thoughtfully, Phil first brushed the snow off the rest of the bench before taking the proffered cup. “Thank you. You can sit if you like.” Phil took a sip of the coffee he’d been given, and his eyebrows went up. “Exactly the way I like it!” He gazed in surprise at the man sitting beside him. “How did you know?”

“You just looked like a cream and sugar kind of guy.” They smiled at each other.

“I can’t believe I was so rude. You gave me coffee and I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m Phil,” he said, holding out his hand with a guileless expression. They shook hands.

“Call me Dan.” They both sipped from their cups. Well, Phil sipped—Dan just let the liquid touch his lip and felt its warmth.

“It’s nice to meet you, Dan. And thank you very much for the coffee!”

“You’re welcome. I had to give you something for your birthday, didn’t I?”

Phil jumped, nearly falling off the bench, and turned to stare. “How did you know it’s my birthday?”

“Thirty, too. That’s a big one. Shouldn’t you be at some kind of party or something?”

Abruptly, Phil seemed to forget all about the mystery of how the stranger knew it was his birthday, and he just deflated. “Well, the party wasn’t that great, so I left.”

“That’s what you get for living with a dick of a flatmate.”

Phil really did fall off the bench this time, landing right on his butt in the snow. He didn’t even get up, just sat staring with his mouth hanging open, apparently unable to even find words. Eventually, he found his tongue. “Who … who are you? How do you know all of this?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Sitting there in the snow and staring up at a mysterious stranger, Phil set his jaw. “Try me,” he challenged.

“I’m your guardian angel.”

Phil frowned. Slowly, deep in thought, he picked himself up and dusted snow off his backside. “Okay,” Phil breathed. “There’s a lot to unpack there. But, first things first … guardian angels are real … and mine is named Dan? It’s not a very impressive, angel-type name, like Raphael or Galadriel.”

“You do realize that Galadriel is a character in The Lord of the Rings, don’t you?” Dan asked, amused.

“Of course I do!” Phil exclaimed in frustration. “I’ve seen the entire trilogy five times! But how does an angel know about The Lord of the Rings?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Who do you think was watching over you all five times you sat through that entire trilogy? And thank, you, by the way, for only making me watch The Hobbit once. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to turn a very short book into three excruciatingly long movies?”

They both shook their heads in disappointed disapproval. “I’m sorry I even put you through that at all,” Phil admitted. Then he stared at Dan in shock. “You said ‘fuck’! Angels say ‘fuck’? And how did you know about the book?” Then he smacked himself in the forehead. “Because you were there when I read it when I was a kid.”

“Nah. I only got assigned to you seven or eight years ago. You should have heard the previous guy complain! All about how he could barely keep you from walking off cliffs or lighting yourself on fire.”

Phil scowled. “Angels complain about me? You know, I’ve heard some insults before, but that one goes to the top of the list.”

Dan waved a hand dismissively. “Puriel is as big of a dick as your flatmate.”

“There’s an angel named Puriel? Sounds like a hand sanitizer.”

Dan actually laughed so hard that this time it was he who nearly fell off the bench. When he got control of himself, he gave Phil a long look. “You’re taking all of this much more calmly than I expected.”

Phil looked contemplative for a moment, then he said, “Well, why not? I mean, blobfish are weird as heck, and they’re real. So why not angels? I feel kind of flattered that I have a guardian angel.”

“Everybody’s got one.”

“Oh.” Phil blinked. “Well, I still think it seems nice, knowing that somebody’s been watching out for me.”

“Yeah, Puriel might be a dick, but you definitely do require a lot of attention. I thought the thing about lighting yourself on fire was a joke, but what the hell made you think you should operate the stove with your fucking foot?”

“Hey, that turned out fine!” Phil replied defensively. “Nothing caught on fire…”

Dan stared at him silently. And waited. And waited.

And waited.

“Oh,” Dan saw when Phil finally got it. “That was because of you?” Dan nodded. “Oh … well, thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome,” Dan chuckled.

“But there’s a question you still haven’t answered,” Phil insisted. Dan shrugged, welcoming whatever Phil wanted to ask. “My guardian angel is named Dan? It just seems sort of … boring. Not very fancy, as far as angel names go.”

“You want Puriel back?” Dan quipped. Phil laughed. “To be honest, our real names aren’t in a human language, so we just use these names as a sort of convenience when we actually need to have a conversation with a human, which doesn’t happen as often as you’d think. So I usually go by Daniel, but we’ve been hanging out together for years now, even if you didn’t know it … so I figured you could call me Dan.”

Phil held his hand out again and said, “Well, now that I know who you really are, it’s nice to finally meet you, Dan. And thanks for all the help you’ve apparently been giving me behind the scenes.” They shook hands warmly. “But, hey, why did you let that squirrel bite me? And…”

Dan held up his hands. “No way you’re pinning every bad thing that ever happened to you on me. First of all, I can’t control living creatures, so if you try to pet a goose, that goose has every right to bite you in the butt.” Phil tried to interrupt, but Dan kept talking. “But I also can’t fix everything. If you’re going to try to kill yourself every five seconds, I can only catch you 99 times out of 100. And I think those are pretty good odds. So every time you’ve tripped or knocked something over or fallen down the stairs or something … just imagine if I hadn’t been there to catch you the other 99 times.”

Phil tilted his head in confusion. “But I thought you couldn’t control living creatures, so how could you keep me from falling down the stairs?”

Dan grinned. “I can’t control you, but I can make the handrail suddenly sort of magnetic so that it draws your hand to it. Or I can shift the weight of whatever’s in the bag you’re carrying. Or I can make the step rise up to meet your foot…”

“You can do all that?” Phil marveled, gazing at Dan in wonder.

Dan shrugged modestly and buffed his fingernails against his coat, making Phil laugh again.

They sat there in silence for a little while—Phil just staring at Dan in wonder—when suddenly snow started falling softly around them. Phil held up a hand and smiled. “It’s snowing again. For my birthday.”

Dan just smiled at him.

“Is that you? Are you making it snow?” Dan shrugged again, but gave a mischievous smirk. Phil stood up and stared up at the sky with his arms spread wide. “Well, if you’re making it snow for my birthday, thank you, because I love the snow.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dan replied softly, watching Phil’s blissful expression as he gazed upward and let the snowflakes fall on his face. He looked like what most people would expect an angel to look like. Dan looked down at his black clothes with their random zips, then back at Phil with his arms wide and blissful expression. The contrast couldn’t have been more stark.

Phil began to twirl very slowly, still gazing upward, arms still extended. “You’re going to trip over something,” Dan warned him.

“I have a guardian angel watching out for me,” Phil replied with a little laugh.

Dan just watched Phil enjoy the falling snow for a while before offering another warning. “You’re going to end up drenched, you know. All that snow is melting as soon as it hits the warmth of your body, and it’s just turning to water. It’s like you’re standing in the rain.”

“Standing in the rain is good, too,” Phil said. “But snow is better. I don’t mind it melting. Watching it fall is just the best thing ever.”

After a few more minutes of watching Phil gaze up at the snow, even trying to catch snowflakes on his tongue once or twice, Dan reluctantly admitted, “You may be a pain in the ass to keep alive and safe, but you’re better at this than most people."

"Better at what?" Phil looked down from the sky to see Dan’s face.

"Living.”

Phil frowned. “How can somebody be better at living?”

Dan tried to think of how to explain. “You appreciate things more, like the snow. You smile more than most people, and you make other people smile. You love more, including all creatures, not just humans ... even plants! You reach out and try to offer love where you can. You're kind. You sing more often than most people. You laugh a lot, including at yourself, which most people can't do so well. You try new things instead of always staying with what's safe, and you don't mind if you fail. You do what makes you happy even if it isn't what everyone else is doing. You create beautiful things that no one else could have thought of. You're sensitive to how others are feeling and actively increase the happiness of the other people around you. You're just ... you're better at it. You're a better human than most. You're just ... better at living. You're good at it." He ended this long speech with a slight feeling of embarrassment. He didn’t usually give compliments. He didn’t usually talk much at all, actually. But he’d been watching Phil for a while now, and he’d noticed things.

Phil stared at him in apparent awe, his eyes wide, but he didn’t say anything in response. Dan wondered if he’d been struck dumb by a random string of compliments from a grumpy, black-clad guardian angel … and figured that was actually probably the case. “Come on,” Dan grumbled. “You’re getting soaked. Let’s get you into the coffee shop around the corner to dry off.” He took Phil’s arm and dragged him along, since Phil still seemed dazed.

“I’m better at living?” Phil whispered to him as they walked.

“Forget I said anything,” Dan said gruffly, increasingly embarrassed by his outpouring of emotion.

Phil smiled and seemed a bit less dazed. “I’m good at it. An angel said I’m good at it,” he murmured to himself in wonder.

“I said forget it!” Dan rumbled threateningly.

“No,” Phil said firmly. “I never will. Not my whole life. I will never forget it. Sometimes I really doubt myself … so … so thank you for saying it.”

Dan shrugged uncomfortably and opened the door of the coffee shop, practically shoving Phil inside ahead of him.

—

The coffee shop was deliciously warm after their time in the snow, but it caused the last remaining snowflakes to melt immediately. Water dripped along Dan’s scalp, but he was lucky enough to be wearing a scarf that caught most of the moisture before it could touch his neck.

Phil, however, gave a visible shudder as melted snow practically streamed from his soaking wet hair onto his bare skin. “Do you have a towel from the kitchen?” Dan brusquely asked the startled-looking girl behind the counter. “Or even just a bunch of paper napkins?” She ducked into the back room and emerged with a tea towel which she timidly offered. Dan snatched it from her hand and began vigorously rubbing Phil’s wet hair as Phil tried to bat him away.

Eventually, satisfied that Phil’s hair would at least no longer actually drip water, Dan gave his own hair a quick rub, then offered the wet tea towel back to the barista with an apologetic smile. He knew the dimples this human face had would charm most people into forgiving him almost any bad behavior. “I’m sorry I was so rude when we first came in. It’s freezing out there, and we’d gotten quite a bit of snow on us.”

The barista flushed and returned his smile, taking the tea towel from him. “Let me just put this in the back, and I’ll come take your order. Why don’t you take off your coats and things? It’s nice and toasty in here.” Dan and Phil took her advice and hung their outerwear on the provided rack. Phil rubbed his hands together, then ran his hands up and down his arms to stimulate the blood flow.

“Go on,” Dan told him, looking around at the empty room. “Go sit at the table by the window. I’ll order us some more coffee to warm us up.” He knew Phil would like to watch the snow from the window table, and Phil did indeed smile as he gazed out at the winter wonderland.

When the barista returned, Dan placed their order at the counter before going to join Phil at the table. “Warming up?” he asked. Phil nodded happily. The coffee shop was warm enough that their hair was already drying.

Phil had rested his elbow on the table, his chin in his hand, and was gazing out the window. “It’s so beautiful,” he said dreamily. “I love snow. And I must admit it’s nice to watch it from someplace cozy.” He looked at Dan. “I loved standing in it, too, though. Thank you for that.”

Dan rolled his eyes and said, “I already told you you’re welcome. You don’t have to keep thanking me.”

“But what if I want to keep thanking you?” Phil asked impishly. “Thank you thank you thank you!”

Dan sighed heavily, trying to indicate the extreme patience he was showing in the face of Phil’s ridiculousness. He then said, slowly and firmly, “You. Are. Fucking. Welcome. Now shut the fuck up about it.”

Phil gazed at him curiously. “Do all angels swear as much as you do?”

Dan threw his head back in frustration, then raised it up again to look at Phil. “Would you rather have Puriel back? Get your hands all nice and sanitized?”

Phil laughed, then shrugged. “It was a legitimate question. I mean, you do swear a lot.”

“That’s just me,” Dan replied with a huff. “I’m not the sweet and sugary type. Sorry if that offends your delicate sensibilities.”

“I don’t mind,” Phil said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I like you just the way you are.” He smiled at Dan, and Dan felt a strange kind of fluttery nausea in his human stomach.

“Well, that’s good,” Dan said. “I don’t plan on handing the job off to anyone else, so you’re stuck with me. I don’t know why Puriel complained so much. You’re not that bad.”

Phil grinned. “Even if I do try to light myself on fire by working the stove with my feet?”

Dan laughed. “Even then. You just … keep me on my toes, you might say.”

They both giggled like schoolchildren as the barista approached the table. “The coffee will be ready in a minute, but … he said today was your birthday…” and she placed a red-frosted cupcake on the table, a single burning candle standing on top.

Phil sobered immediately. “For me?” he asked with wide eyes, looking between Dan and the barista and back again.

“For you,” Dan affirmed, then urged Phil, “You have to blow out the candle!”

Phil blew out the candle, then thanked the barista, who just smiled at him and walked away.

“Well,” Dan said impatiently before Phil could thank him again. “Go ahead and eat it!”

“Do you want to share?” Phil asked.

“It’s your birthday. It’s not a proper birthday cake, but it’ll have to do. Now go on!”

“The other cake, the one at the party, it didn’t even have any candles,” Phil said sadly as he began to peel the wrapper off the cupcake. And then he suddenly looked up at Dan with wide eyes. “Is this…” he looked at the revealed cupcake again. “Is this red velvet?”

Dan grinned. “I guess you’ll have to taste it and find out.”

Phil took a big bite of the cupcake and his eyes rolled back in ecstasy. “It is red velvet,” he moaned almost completely unintelligibly with his mouth still full. He swallowed and asked, “How did you know red velvet was my favorite?”

Dan just gave him that look again.

“Oh, right,” Phil giggled, then took another bite. He visibly savored it, then swallowed again. “Are you sure you don’t want a bite?” he asked Dan. Phil was always like that, preferring to share anything he found particularly wonderful, instead of wanting to hoard it for himself. It was one of the things Dan had always found especially admirable about him. Something he’d always found especially endearing. One of the things that had made Dan care about him so much and not mind the constant death-defying challenges.

He couldn’t understand how Puriel couldn’t love someone that generous and kind.

But Puriel was a dick who wouldn’t recognize a truly good person if they kicked him in the ass. Which a good person probably wouldn’t do, come to think of it. But Dan would.

The barista brought their two cups of coffee and showed them the sugar and small pitcher of milk sitting on the table, then told them to let her know if they needed anything else. Phil had his mouth full of cupcake, and Dan was afraid he might spew crumbs in his attempt to thank her, so Dan quickly said, “Thanks! I’m sure these will warm us up.” The barista turned to go, so all Phil did was nod vigorously, keeping his mouth closed as he chewed.

Dan sat, pretending to sip from his coffee, and simply watched Phil devour the cupcake with great relish while looking out the window at the snow. It was like watching happiness personified.

When he’d finally finished the cupcake and chased down most of the remaining crumbs with some coffee of his own, Phil toyed with the candle in his long, pale fingers. “Another year gone,” he said, sounding a little melancholy now.

Dan nodded. “Yup. Another year closer to your inevitable death and the probable doom of this entire universe.”

Phil blinked repeatedly. “You must be the weirdest angel ever.”

“Haven’t met many, have you?” Phil nodded at what was, obviously, a fair point. “There’s some weird ones, let me tell you.”

“But … my inevitable death? The doom of the entire universe?” Phil stared at him, still obviously thrown off balance.

Dan shrugged. “It’s the truth. Happy birthday!” He made ironic jazz hands. As intended, it made Phil laugh again.

“I don’t like to think of it that way,” Phil mused. “It’s more like … another year of working toward making my dreams come true. Maybe someday I’ll actually make it all happen.”

“I have faith in you,” Dan said, caught off guard by his own unintended honesty. At first, he didn’t understand why Phil started giggling, but then he caught on. “Oh, ha ha. Faith from an angel. I get it. It’s not that funny.”

“It is pretty funny,” Phil disagreed, “but thanks for the sentiment.”

Dan thought about the word. “Hmm. I don’t usually think of myself and sentiment having much relation to each other.”

“Maybe I bring out the best in you,” Phil joked with a sunny smile.

Dan tilted his head, giving the idea some consideration. “Well, it’s the case for a lot of other people, so why not me?” Phil looked confused. “You tend to bring out the best in people,” Dan explained.

“I do?” Phil seemed surprised.

Dan shook his head fondly at Phil’s utter incomprehension of his own effect on the world. “Yes, Phil, you do.”

Phil ducked his head, suddenly shy. “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

Dan didn’t know what to say to that, so they both just sat there for a while. Phil went back to watching the snow falling outside the window as he sipped his coffee. Dan held his coffee mug in his hands and enjoyed the aroma while he watched Phil watch the snow. The coffee wasn’t so hot anymore, but the mug still felt good in his hands. It was nice to get to feel and smell things, one of the benefits of being in a human body.

“So what else would you like to do on your birthday? I gave you snow. What else?”

“Dogs!” Phil replied immediately, looking extremely excited.

“Um, no.” Dan sighed to show he was displaying the utmost patience. “I told you already. I don’t have any control over living creatures. You do understand that dogs are living creatures, right?” he asked sarcastically.

Phil huffed out a laugh. “Yeah. Well, I mean, the fun ones are.”

Dan burst into raucous laughter. “Oh my god! That was the best joke I’ve ever heard you make! We’ll make an edgelord out of you yet!” Phil Lester, making a joke about dead dogs. Dan never would have thought he’d see the day.

Phil frowned in confusion a moment, then suddenly waved his arms in horror, exclaiming, “That’s not what I meant! I meant like, as opposed to plushies! Not … what you were thinking.” He made the cutest little disgusted face.

“Okay, okay,” Dan said, calming down from his fit of amused hysteria. “Aside from living dogs, what would make you happy on your birthday?”

Phil made his funny face where his lips moved to the side, the face he made when he was really thinking about something. “I don’t know. Maybe … sparklers?”

“Sparklers?”

“Yeah,” Phil enthused, getting more excited by the idea as he explained it. “You know, like at Guy Fawkes. You hold the stick in your hand, and you light the other end, and it gives off sparks. Didn’t you ever watch over me on Bonfire Night, all those years?”

“Yes, of course, I know what sparklers are, you moron. I just … you want sparklers for your birthday?” Dan couldn’t believe it. He had almost infinite powers to give Phil whatever he wanted, and Phil wanted … sparklers?

“I like sparklers,” Phil sulked defensively, and took a big slurpy drink of his coffee, which must have gone disgustingly cold by now. He then proceeded to cross his arms and stare pointedly out at the snow, ignoring Dan, his feelings clearly hurt.

The snow stopped.

Phil snorted, annoyed. “You did that on purpose.”

“Well, obviously,” Dan replied. “Otherwise, the snow might put out the flames on the sparklers.”

—

Phil had always loved sparklers, always loved how they seemed to crackle with life and excitement, how they left trails of light behind them when you moved them through the air, but the sparklers Dan created were different.

“Here,” Dan said. “Let me light it for you.” And just as the sparkler had come out of nowhere, the flame seemed to light it with only a gesture from Dan’s hand. The sparks began to fly, and Phil gazed at the glittering, flickering light with fascination. It made that hissing, popping sound that was so familiar from all the Bonfire Nights of his childhood.

He swept the sparkler through the air, and it left a stream of light behind it, just as it always had, just as he’d always loved, but the sparkler Dan had made left a trail that lingered longer than usual. Phil made loops and swirls, fascinated by the way the light remained in the sky for just a bit longer than he had seen before, long enough for him to create images. He drew a heart, then grinned at Dan. “Aren’t you going to do it, too?”

Dan lit a sparkler for himself and began drawing zigzags and rollercoasters of light. He wrote the name “Philip” in the sky, and then beamed at Phil.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile like that,” Phil said with awe.

Dan looked at him in confusion, the smile falling from his face. “Smile like what?”

“Like … you were happy,” Phil explained. “All your other smiles, they seemed a little sad. But this time, you really just … you just looked happy.” He looked down at the snow. “I’m sorry I ruined it by bringing it up. As soon as I said anything about it, it was gone.”

“It’s not gone,” Dan said quietly, honestly, feeling a soft smile return to his face as he gazed at Phil. “It’s still here.”

Phil returned the smile with a tender one of his own, and then turned to write “Daniel” in the sky with a flourish. Then he drew a happy face afterward and turned to grin at Dan.

Dan snickered and drew an angry face with a “v” over the eyes as furious eyebrows. But Phil just laughed and drew loops around the unhappy face until suddenly Dan saw that it was a series of gracefully shaped hearts. Something inside him stirred again, and he pressed his free hand to his chest to hold it there, that feeling.

And suddenly he knew what it was.

He didn’t want to admit it—it was against all the rules—but it was true. And he wasn’t going to lie.

Not giving himself a chance to hesitate, he turned and wrote with his sparkler, “I love you,” against the darkness of the sky. He kept staring at the trail of glowing words until they had faded completely back into darkness.

He couldn’t look at Phil.

Dan might have been developing these feelings over years of watching and knowing him, but Phil had only met him tonight. To Phil, he was a virtual stranger. There was no way Phil could understand or return his feelings. And yet he hadn’t been able to hold it in, hadn’t been able to hide it, not from Phil. And so he’d written those words in light, and their effect would endure inside him forever, even though their illumination had faded from the night.

He couldn’t look at Phil. Couldn’t stand to see his expression. The pity.

He felt a warmth, a presence by his side, and he knew it was him, it was Phil, but Dan just couldn’t look up, the sparkler still absurdly in his hand, unmoving after writing those damning words in the sky.

But Phil moved to stand in front of him, close, so close, so warm and perfect and everything Dan hadn’t known he wanted, because he wasn’t allowed to want it, wasn’t supposed to want it, and finally Dan hesitantly raised his head to see an exquisitely gentle expression on Phil’s face.

“I love you, too,” Phil whispered, but the quiet words rang in Dan’s ears like a clarion bell. Words he’d never expected to hear, never never never, and then Phil leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dan’s and everything else disappeared. Dan’s entire world was those soft lips against his in a kiss that was everything he’d wanted, everything he wasn’t supposed to have, everything he’d dreamed of, and he realized now that he’d been wanting it for years, that he’d fallen in love with Phil long ago. Phil with his sunshine smile and his kindness and his love for the world. Phil who was like nothing Dan had ever seen before. Phil who was kissing him, kissing him, there in the snowy darkness with sparklers crackling in their hands. He finally began to register all this as Phil slowly, lingeringly pulled away and looked into Dan’s eyes.

Dan didn’t know what Phil saw there, but he knew what he saw in Phil’s eyes, and it was sweet and gentle and fierce all at once. “I love you, too,” Phil repeated. “I know it doesn’t make any sense. I know I only met you a few hours ago. But … I feel like I’ve known you for years. Maybe because you’ve been there for years, and somehow some part of me knew that and felt you there. I can’t explain it, but it’s true.” He raised a chilly hand to Dan’s cheek, where it warmed quickly against his skin. “I feel connected to you like I’ve never felt with anyone else. When you sat beside me on that bench, it was like finding another part of myself.”

Suddenly, Phil lowered his hand and looked away, biting his lip. “Does that sound stupid? You just … you wrote that with the sparkler … and then I just … maybe you didn’t even mean it. You were just messing around…”

Dan stopped those stupid words, pressing forward for another kiss, this time a little less gentle, and he let his sparkler fall to the snowy ground, where it hissed and spat before the flame died out. He wrapped his arms around Phil’s waist in his thick winter coat and pulled him nearer, wanting him as near as possible, wanting nothing more than Phil in this entire universe and beyond. He heard another hissing sound as Phil’s sparkler dropped beside his own, and then felt Phil’s arms around his neck as Phil tilted his head slightly to deepen the kiss, and it was heaven. Dan had never been to any heaven as an angel, only taken orders like a good foot soldier in the supernatural bureaucracy, only watched over people on earth as they lived and loved in ways he never thought he could ever experience, but now he felt what he thought all those people had meant when they said something felt like heaven, because this was it.

When Phil finally pulled away—because Dan would never have pulled away, never never never, he would have continued kissing Phil until the end of time—they gazed at each other in the darkness. Without the sparklers, the night around them was lit only by the windows from the coffee shop a little distance away.

“I think I’ve been in love with you a long time,” Dan admitted hesitantly, looking into Phil’s eyes as they gleamed in the dim light. “I just didn’t know what it was, because I’d never felt that way before. I only knew that I cared what happened to you, a lot more than I’d ever cared about any of the other humans I’d protected. In hundreds of years of watching over people, I’d never felt this way. But until tonight … I didn’t know what it was.”

Phil slid his hands down from around Dan’s neck until he could entwine his fingers with Dan’s, both their hands linked together by their sides as they stood so close that their visible breaths mingled in the cold air.

“So what happens now?” Phil asked hesitantly.

And with that simple question, Phil shattered Dan’s heart and his world.

—

Dan had brushed the snow off the bench with the sleeve of his coat, and they both sat there under the streetlamp. Dan had pulled his feet up and wrapped his arms around his knees, clasping his hands and huddling there for warmth. This human body felt the cold. Not earlier, not when they played with the sparklers, when Phil smiled at him, when Phil stood close and they had … but now, now his body felt the cold.

He rested his cheek on his knees, face turned toward Phil, who sat on the bench beside him.

“So you’re just going to leave,” Phil said, his voice stiff and angry. “After all that, you’re just going to leave.”

“I’m not leaving, Phil. You know that. I’ll still be here.” Dan knew his words weren’t going to help, but he didn’t know anything that would, so all he could do was tell the truth.

Phil huffed out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, right. My invisible friend. And you don’t even seem to care. You’re just sitting there, like … like it doesn’t even matter.” Phil turned his back on Dan, looking toward the warmly lit coffee shop where they’d been so happy an hour ago.

“Of course it matters,” Dan rasped out. His throat felt choked, so he cleared it, but it didn’t help. Maybe it was a human thing. “It always matters. But I can’t stay. Even now, I’m breaking the rules, just by being here, by being with you.” Phil didn’t say anything, the line of his back rigid in the lamplight. “I shouldn’t take human form and interact with you in the human world at all. But … tonight, on this bench … you seemed so sad … so lonely … I couldn’t leave you here alone. And so I came again…”

“Again?” Phil almost roared, and the sound echoed in the quiet of the late night in the little park. Dan realized that he had underestimated how upset Phil was. No, not upset—angry. Hurt and angry. Because of Dan. The opposite of what he would ever have wanted. But soon that would all be erased … along with everything else. The thought brought Dan little comfort. Phil turned to look at him again, his face contorted with anguish, his voice quiet now, rigidly controlled. “You’ve been here before? Did I not see you … or did you look different…?”

“I’ve come twice before,” Dan admitted. “Only two times … times when you seemed most lonely and I couldn’t bear it anymore. I’d never taken human shape before with any of my charges, but twice before tonight I did, I came to you … but it wasn’t the same. I just … you needed to talk, needed someone to listen … needed to know that someone cared. And so I came, and I listened to you, and I let you know that I am always here, always with you, always caring … and it seemed to help. And then I erased your memories of my visit, but the comfort lingered and your smile returned … and I felt better, that I had helped you, even if you wouldn’t remember me. I would remember for both of us.” He sniffed, and told himself it was the cold, not oncoming tears, and said, “Just like I’ll remember for both of us this time, too.”

Dan, tightened his arms around his knees and turned his face as soon as he felt the tears begin to sting his eyes, turned his face away from Phil and rested his other cheek on his knees, looking away into the darkness beyond the street lamp.

“Wait a minute,” Phil said haltingly. “You’re going to erase my memories?” Dan didn’t reply, because he knew it wasn’t really a question, not after what he’d just said.

“This whole night?” Phil continued. “Everything? You’re going to wipe it all from my brain like none of it ever happened? Does it mean that little to you?” Phil sounded absolutely destroyed by the final few words, his voice shredded almost to nothing.

“I don’t have a choice,” Dan cried, still looking away, unable to look at Phil and see the expression on his face right now. “There are rules! I don’t get to just do whatever I want, Phil. I’m not like you! I’m a guardian angel, and we have rules we have to follow or the entire structure would collapse.”

After a long silence, Dan finally turned to look back at Phil, and he looked angrier than Dan had ever seen him before. An anger that roiled beneath the surface, while Phil’s face looked perfectly still. When their eyes met, Phil said slowly, carefully, “So why did you say you loved me? Why did you kiss me? Why did you do any of that, when all the time you were planning to take it back?”

Dan didn’t know what to say.

Phil nodded slowly, never breaking eye contact. “Just getting your jollies, huh?” Then he laughed with no humor in the sound. “Christmas was a month ago, you moron.” He froze, then said, “Hell, you could have been here, then, too, and I would never know it. You could just keep playing with my brain over and over again.” Dan could see his anger grow with every sentence now, with every word. “Did we ever have sex? Because I suppose it wouldn’t count as rape if I was willing at the time, but I’m not sure if you erased my memory of it afterward…”

Dan shouted, “Stop! I told you! I was only here those other two times, and all I did was listen. This was the first time I ever … I never even realized how I felt about you until tonight.”

“And so you thought you’d take advantage of that nifty memory erasure power…” Phil began, but Dan interrupted him.

“I didn’t plan any of this!” Dan sobbed, and tears were streaking down his face now, hot against the cold of his skin. “I just … it took me by surprise. I’d never felt this way, never … never sat in a cozy window seat with a handsome man I loved … never played. I was never a child, Phil, so I’d never played before, never laughed with a friend and felt a sparkler in my hand and swung it through the air.” He wiped at his cheeks then dropped his chin to his knees again. “I … I lost control, Phil. I’m sorry. I’m not supposed to have any of this. It’s against the rules, and this must be the reason, because I should never lose control like that. I’m sorry. I should have just … I should have just listened to you like I did before and then gone. Even that would have broken the rules, but it wouldn’t have been so selfish. I should never have let the rest of that happen. It was very wrong of me. I’m so sorry.” He closed his eyes, because he could feel more tears gathering, threatening to fall.

Phil’s voice was soft when he said, “You were never a child? And you think it was wrong to play?”

Dan opened his eyes, and he gazed at Phil through eyelashes covered in teardrops that glistened like crystals in the lamplight. As Dan looked at him, they framed Phil’s face like some kind of ironic halo. “I’m not human, Phil. I don’t have a life. I just have an eternity of watching from the outside, an eternity of guarding the human world, keeping people safe. That’s all I’ll ever have. Except … tonight.”

“You said you weren’t supposed to have any of this. I thought you meant love, kissing, all of that. But you mean the rest, too? Even just … even just the coffee? I noticed you only pretended to sip at yours. Was that why you wouldn’t take a bite of my cupcake? Because someone told you it wasn’t allowed?”

Dan sighed. Phil just didn’t understand. Dan gazed at him through the scattered stars of his own tears. “We don’t have anything for ourselves, Phil. We aren’t supposed to. We don’t get to have guardian angel parties, even with white cake, let alone red velvet cupcakes. We don’t have anything for ourselves. We only exist to serve. I only watch. I watch your Bonfire Nights, with the sparklers. I watch you walk through crowded streets and bump elbows with strangers and apologize to them because you’re always too nice. I watch you laugh with your family and friends, watch how you love them, how they smile at you with such affection. I watch you play video games and drink pumpkin spice lattes and take the Tube. I watch you curl up by warm fires with a blanket over your lap and a cup of hot chocolate. I watch you live a life, but I don’t live, Phil. I don’t get to have that. I was created to watch over you, to keep you safe, to make your life as healthy and happy as possible. And that’s what I do. It’s my place in the world. And I treasure it. I treasure my ability to help you, even though it is from afar. It’s my reason for existence.”

Neither of them said anything for a long beat, and then Dan whispered, “I don’t get to have a life, Phil. And, no matter what happened tonight, no matter how I feel about you, I can’t let you keep the memories, and I don’t get to stay. I just … can’t. I have no right. I just … I’m not human.”

This time the silence stretched on so long that Dan wondered if Phil was going to just get up and walk away. But then Phil asked, “So … if you don’t have guardian angel parties … does that mean you’ve never had a cupcake?”

Dan laughed on a sob. “No, Phil,” he laughed at the absurdity and his own grief. “I’ve never had a cupcake.” His cheeks were wet again now, the tears rapidly cooling in the wintery air.

And then suddenly his left wrist was grabbed forcefully, causing his other arm to fall loose and his legs to slide off the bench. He turned his head to gaze up at Phil, who stood beside him, holding Dan’s wrist in a tight grip. “Then come on,” Phil said in the most determined voice Dan had ever heard from him. “Because I’m buying you a fucking cupcake.”

Dan hadn’t heard Phil use that particular swear word often, aside from when he played video games, so he knew Phil was serious about this ridiculous idea. But this was neither the time nor the place. In fact, there was no time or place in which it would ever be appropriate for Phil Lester to buy him a fucking cupcake.

“Are you going to make me drag you there?” Phil asked through gritted teeth. “Because that might traumatize the girl who was so nice to us.”

Dan sighed. “Why would you want to buy me a cupcake, Phil? After everything I’ve just told you?”

“If you don’t get to stay…” Phil looked away and his throat worked for a moment before he continued. “If you don’t get to stay, if you have to go back to that, then I want to at least give you a cupcake to remember.”

“That sounds like a terrible Hallmark movie,” Dan laughed through his tears. “A Cupcake to Remember.”

—

The cupcake had come with three candles on it. Dan looked at Phil in question as the barista walked back behind the counter, well away from their window table.

“One candle for each time you’ve come to see me,” Phil explained with a grin. “Like your three birthdays.”

Dan would never understand how Phil could take such absolutely absurd situations and simply adjust to them, simply accept them and move on. Now he had accepted that Dan had been here before, and he didn’t hold on to any anger or recriminations. Instead, he just got Dan a cupcake with three candles.

Dan blew the candles out. Like he’d seen a million times. Like a real person having a real birthday.

“So what do you think?” Phil asked when Dan took the first bite, his voice eager as he watched Dan’s face.

A bit uncomfortable under the scrutiny—not accustomed to being the one observed—Dan chewed and swallowed, which in itself was an odd sensation. “It’s … interesting.”

“Just interesting?” Phil sounded disappointed. “It’s a red velvet cupcake! You don’t like it?”

Dan considered how to explain. “Well, to be honest, I’ve never eaten anything before, so I don’t really have anything to compare it to.” He took another bite. The cake felt spongey in his mouth, with a rather pleasing texture. He liked it better than the sweeter icing.

Phil’s jaw dropped, literally. The gaping mouth was not his most attractive look. “You’ve … you’ve never eaten anything before?”

Dan looked around, making sure the barista was not within hearing distance. “Phil … I’m not human. Guardian angels don’t eat. We just … watch. I just watch over you. I see you eat every day, see you enjoy food, but I don’t get to enjoy it myself. I’m glad when I see you enjoy it, though. I like to see you happy. If all I can do is watch, I like to watch you be happy.” He chuckled a bit to himself. “Food seems to make you very happy. Especially popcorn and sweets.” He took another bite of the cupcake. Eating really was a very strange experience.

Phil shook his head in wonder. “You really … wait! Here! Drink some of my coffee!” He pushed his mug into Dan’s hand. This time they hadn’t ordered two, just a coffee for Phil and the cupcake for Dan. Dan looked at Phil in confusion. “A cupcake is much better with coffee! And I’ll bet you’ve never drunk coffee before, either, even though I’ve seen you hold it in your hands.”

Obediently, not sure why he felt compelled to humor Phil’s whims, Dan took a sip of the coffee. It was warm and sweet and smooth in his mouth, and it washed cupcake crumbs with it as it flowed down his throat. He imagined he could even feel its warmth in his belly. He nodded to Phil. “It’s good.” He smiled.

In the end, the cupcake defeated him, and Phil had to finish it, which he did with great enjoyment, despite having eaten an entire cupcake of his own not long before. Dan, in turn, finished the coffee. He decided that he preferred coffee to cupcakes, but opted to keep that thought to himself, lest he hurt Phil’s feelings. Phil had been so excited about the cupcake, after all.

They sat silently together at the table, an empty plate in front of Phil, an empty mug in Dan’s hands, both of them watching the snow which had begun falling again outside. This time, Dan hadn’t needed to prompt it.

“So,” Phil began softly, “you can’t stay.” Dan shook his head. They met each other’s eyes, sharing their regret. “Do you need to leave right away? Could you stay until tomorrow?” Phil looked hopeful, but Dan silently shook his head again.

Dan looked down into his empty mug. He’d tasted food and drink for the first time tonight. He’d played in the snow. He’d kissed someone he loved. He couldn’t ask for more. He’d already taken too much, far more than he should.

“This is all…” he began, but Phil interrupted him.

“Against the rules. I know.” Phil sounded bitter now. “You know, these rules really suck.”

That surprised a laugh out of Dan, but then he nodded in reluctant agreement. “They really really do.”

“Are you going to erase my memory now? Leave me sitting in a coffee shop wondering why there are three candles on my empty plate?” Phil’s quiet voice held pain and acceptance.

How could Phil accept even this?

How could he accept it when even Dan could not?

Because Dan found that he couldn’t. He must be the worst fucking guardian angel in the history of existence, because these rules made no fucking sense to him, and he absolutely could not accept that he had to erase himself and this wonderful, beautiful night from Phil’s memory.

“What if…” Dan began hesitantly. Could he really do this? Visiting Phil was one thing, but this … this would be a much more serious breach of the rules. He’d never heard of anyone doing such a thing. “What if I didn’t erase your memory?” he finished in a quiet rush.

Phil’s head came up and he stared at Dan, shocked. “I thought that was…” but Dan interrupted him.

“Against the rules. Yeah. It is. But what if I didn’t?” Dan gazed anxiously at Phil.

Phil shrugged in confusion. “Then I would remember everything we did tonight.” He smiled. “Everything.” His gaze flicked down to Dan’s lips, then back up to his eyes.

“But, that isn’t everything that would change,” Dan insisted, frustrated with Phil’s lack of understanding. “You would always know, from now on. You would always know about me. That I’m watching. That I’m there. That’s what’s not permitted. Humans can’t know about us or it might change their behavior, and we’re merely observers. We’re not supposed to change your lives except in the small ways we help to keep you safe.”

Phil put his hand on Dan’s underneath the table and met his eyes with steely determination. “So I would know for the rest of my life that I wasn’t alone, that you were always with me, that someone was always on my side and watching out for me. I don’t see how that could be a bad thing.”

“I’m not going to do it,” Dan said, making the sudden decision at the same time as the words erupted from his mouth. “I’m not going to erase your memory.”

“But what about the rules?” Phil asked, suddenly anxious. “Will something happen to you if you don’t?”

“I don’t know,” Dan admitted. “I’ve never heard of anyone doing this before. But I’m not erasing this night, not for anything. I don’t want to hold the memory for both of us … I want us to hold it together.” They smiled at each other like shy co-conspirators.

They held hands tightly, and Dan never wanted to let go. He’d heard it so many times, but he’d never understood it when humans said that, when they said, “I never want to let go,” but now he knew. Because now he felt it.

“Are you sure you can’t stay? Absolutely sure?” Phil sounded despondent.

Dan felt pain in his chest and wondered if this was what humans meant when they talked about “heartbreak.” How could he learn so much in one night? And all by breaking the rules! Was this why the rules existed, to prevent guardian angels from learning about humans, instead of preventing humans from learning about guardian angels? Or both?

He spoke firmly, despite his own agonized feelings. “There are rules, Phil, and I might be breaking a lot of them tonight, but this is the biggest one. It’s impossible. No one has ever done it.”

“Just because no one has ever done it doesn’t mean it’s impossible,” Phil replied with just the slightest amount of hope in his voice, but Dan just shook his head and gazed morosely into the empty coffee cup.

“I can’t stay, Phil. I have to go. But you know I’m not actually going anywhere. I’ll still be here.” He looked up to meet Phil’s beautiful, gentle, loving eyes. So sad, but so beautiful. “Will you promise me something?”

“Anything,” Phil replied without hesitation.

“Promise me you’ll move out of that miserable flat,” Dan insisted, fighting off his own despair with bravado. “Away from that terrible cunt of a flatmate. Find someplace of your own, someplace you can be happy.”

Tears gathered in those beautiful eyes. “I promise.”

“You know I’ll see if you break your word.” Dan tried to smile, but felt he probably did a poor job of it.

Phil gave a wobbly smile of his own. “I won’t. I’ll give David my notice tonight and find another place. I’ll be out by the end of next month.”

“Just … be happy, Phil. Nobody deserves it more than you do.”

Phil didn’t say anything, just gazed wordlessly at Dan.

“And … just know … I’m always here,” Dan added at last.

They both sat there a moment before Dan gave into his impulse, winding his hands into Phil’s hair and pulling him into a quick, fierce kiss which immediately gentled into something achingly sweet before he let their lips part. He looked into Phil’s pale eyes for a long moment, enjoying the warmness of him, the realness of him, the realness of them both, their last moment of togetherness. And then he let go and stood up from the table.

Dan walked away from Phil and past the wide-eyed barista, opening the shop door and hearing the chime as he walked through. He would not let himself look back as the door swung shut behind him. He stepped into the falling snow and relished its cold on his skin as he walked away from the coffee shop and into the darkness beyond its windows, beyond the lamplights. He walked into the dark until all he left behind was the imprint of two zippered boots on pristine white snow.

—

He saw Phil sit alone in the coffee shop for a long time, holding the empty mug in his hands and looking at the three candles on the empty plate in front of him, occasionally gazing out at the snow with a melancholy smile and eyes shining with tears.

And then he got to watch Phil walk home to tell his shocked fucking fuckwad of a flatmate that he was moving out.

—

Phil and his friend Chris packed kitchenware together into a large box.

“How long have you been flatmates with this bloke?” Chris asked.

Phil shrugged. “About three years, I think.”

“And you still keep all your plates and mugs and things in separate cabinets? After all this time?” Chris seemed offended on Phil’s behalf. Dan could tell he thought David must be a real twat.

He was absolutely correct on that score, of course.

“David didn’t want me using his things,” Phil replied, and Dan wanted to strangle the selfish little twat with his inconveniently incorporeal hands. But the all-important rules said he mustn’t affect the lives of anyone other than his assigned charge, which was Phil, so he couldn’t even cause any kind of accidental mishaps that might send Phil’s soon-to-be-former flatmate slipping on some conveniently located ice or anything. Phil added, “He says I break things.”

Well, okay, Dan had to admit that was fair.

Chris nodded. “Well, that’s fair,” he said, echoing Dan’s thoughts. Dan liked Chris. In fact, Dan liked all of Phil’s small collection of friends. Phil had good taste in people, in general, because he looked for humor and kindness above all, and those were excellent qualities, in Dan’s opinion. Dan had to admit that he even considered himself to display those qualities. He might not be the most cheerful entity in the universe, but he did think of himself as kind—to those who deserved it—and he certainly saw the humor in things—probably even in many things he shouldn’t. He liked irony, sarcasm, and dark humor. He wasn’t sure if those above him in the power structure would approve, but he didn’t really care.

He cared less about them, and about the rules, than he used to, even if he’d never been the most obedient and obliging of employees. He’d always tried, and he still tried today … but he just cared more about something else now. Or, rather, someone.

Half an hour later, Phil and Chris began carrying boxes down the steps to the small lorry Phil had rented. Phil misstepped and very nearly fell all the way down the stairway and broke his damned neck, but Dan made the stair quickly rise up to meet his gigantic clumsy foot, and Phil instead only came dangerously close to dropping a box full of mismatched crockery.

“Watch it there, mate!” Chris called out in surprised concern. “You’ll crack your head open falling down these concrete stairs!”

But Phil only took a few more careful steps before replying with a slight smile, “My guardian angel must be watching over me.”

In his incorporeal heart Dan smiled, too, even though Phil couldn’t see him.

—

On Valentine’s Day, Phil refused his friends’ invitation to go out together. Phil often refused invitations to go out, as he preferred to stay in, so this was nothing unusual, but instead of video games or his other usual pastimes, Phil sat on his new sofa in his new flat, surrounded by cardboard moving boxes, and watched The Notebook on Netflix, sobbing as if his heart was breaking.

Perhaps it was.

Or perhaps it already had.

Had Dan done that to him? Had he betrayed his only reason for existence by actually hurting the one person he was meant to protect from harm?

In the evening, Phil took a bus to the coffee house near his old flat and ordered a red velvet cupcake. The young man at the counter told him that they didn’t sell red velvet cupcakes. When Phil argued that he’d bought one only two weeks prior, the employee assured him that the bakery did not provide them with red velvet cupcakes, and so they’d never been available at this location.

Phil nodded slowly, giving a secret little wry smile as if he understood that Dan had made those particular cupcakes happen on that particular evening just for him, and Dan again felt a smile burgeon within his angelic heart. It was a slightly sad incorporeal smile, though, because it hurt to see Phil back in that coffee house alone, remembering him.

Phil ordered a plain chocolate cupcake with a cup of coffee and went to sit down. Half the tables were full, including the one at the window, so Phil sat at another table nearby to wait for his name to be called. With more than one table occupied, the employee working the counter certainly wouldn’t bring orders to the patrons’ tables as the friendly barista had on the night Dan and Phil had been there together.

When Phil’s name was called, he fetched his order and sat at a table not too far from the window, discreetly watching the couple sitting there. When they moved to stand up, Phil moved as quickly as was politely possible to claim the table before anyone else could.

He sat a long time at the table—their table—gazing out the window at the falling snow. He nursed his coffee, drinking the entire thing as slowly as possible, but he only ate half his cupcake, and there were no candles on the plate beside it when he left it behind.

Afterward, Phil sat on the bench in the little park until he was shivering with cold. His dark hair drenched with melted snow, he walked slowly back to the bus stop, where he sat with his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground, until the bus eventually came to take him back to his new flat.

—

“You’re listening to the Internet Takeover with AmazingPhil, and that was Lion Babe! Did you like it? If so, shoot me a message to tell me what you think. And now I have a special dedication. It’s a belated Valentine’s Day dedication to everyone out there who spent this particular holiday alone. Don’t give up, because there may still be someone out there for you! This is an oldie but a goodie, and it’s called ’Someone to Watch Over Me’…”

—

Phil visited Florida with his family, and Martyn commented that his little brother seemed more subdued than usual.

“I’m just … missing someone,” Phil replied, obviously so relaxed in the company of loved ones that he wasn’t thinking to be circumspect about his words.

Martyn heartily clapped him on the back. “I didn’t even know you were dating anybody!” he said with obvious happiness.

Phil blinked. He looked at Martyn. “Oh,” he stammered, “I’m not.”

Martyn looked confused, but said in a more subdued voice, “Well, then, if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Dan knew Phil wouldn’t talk about it.

—

Phil attended a major YouTube convention, where he met a great many people—both members of his audience and fellow content creators—who hugged him, and Dan wanted to cut all their arms off, because these strangers shouldn’t get to hug Phil when Dan couldn’t.

The desire to dismember people wasn’t a very appropriate thought for a guardian angel, but since when had Dan confined himself to appropriate thoughts?

One fan after another told Phil that watching him had changed their lives, and Dan just kept thinking, “I’m not alive, I don’t have a life, I don’t get to have a life, but … same.”

—

“You’re listening to the Internet Takeover with AmazingPhil! I’ve got a request here from @snow-dude, so we’re going to play Evanescence’s ‘My Immortal’...”

—

Phil looked more uncomfortable at this particular party than Dan had perhaps ever seen him before. He’d been told to expect just a few friends, but the few friends had brought another few friends, and Phil’s mate’s flat ended up filled with more people than Phil usually socialized with in a month. Or even two.

Wearing his minimal Halloween costume of cat ears on his head and whiskers drawn on his face, Phil sat on a sofa in the lounge, looking at his phone, obviously hoping no one would talk to him.

A rather handsome fellow dressed as Thor—lacking somewhat in the muscles department, despite the fact that he obviously did work out a bit—joined Phil on the sofa and said hello. Dan would have gnashed his teeth if he had any.

“Hi,” Thor said, smiling in a very friendly way. Not too friendly, not edging into creepy, but just friendly enough to put a nerd like Phil at ease.

“Hi,” Phil replied, putting his phone down like any polite Englishman would when confronting a blatant social assault.

“A cat, huh?” Thor commented. Dan decided that the guy must be a moron.

“A cat/human hybrid,” Phil replied, then held up his hands like claws and showed his teeth before laughing awkwardly.

Thor laughed along with him. “So … um … Bryony tells me you do YouTube. I know she used to be into that, but I don’t know much about it. What sort of videos do you make?”

Phil looked physically pained at his complete inability to escape this conversation. And then Thor slid his hand down onto Phil’s shoulder and squeezed slightly. Dan didn’t have fists, but in his mind he clenched them anyway. He clenched his nonexistent fists in an overwhelming desire to punch this Thor fucker in the fucking face.

But Phil just scooted away slightly, avoiding Thor’s hand, and looked away. “Um … I’m sort of … I’m sort of hung up on someone…”

Thor looked mortified. “Oh, jeez, I’m sorry! Bryony didn’t tell me, or I wouldn’t have…”

Phil smiled sadly. “It’s okay. I haven’t really told anybody about it. But I just can’t move on, you know?”

Thor looked extremely uncomfortable when faced with a complete stranger’s romantic sob story—he, too, was English, after all—and so he removed himself from the situation pretty speedily.

“That’s right!” Dan thought. “You just keep moving! And you don’t look anything like Thor, anyway! Just so you know!”

But Dan had watched every moment of Phil’s life this past year, so he knew Phil hadn’t dated anyone in the past several months, and so if he was hung up on someone … it was still Dan. And that really shouldn’t make him happy, because it was making Phil miserable, and Dan’s job was to try to keep Phil happy and healthy.

But it still made him happy.

Not that Phil was sad. He wasn’t happy about that, of course not.

But the fact that Phil still thought about him, about that night in the snow together … he couldn’t help but feel happy about that, because Dan hadn’t forgotten it for a single second since it happened.

—

Phil scrubbed the stovetop from where he’d spilled some pasta and it had burned into a crusted-on mess. He had to exert quite a bit of effort, but he got into a sort of rhythm with his scrubbing as he hummed in time with his movements.

Then Dan recognized the song Phil was humming.

Knowing Phil, it wouldn’t be long before he started to sing, and sure enough a moment later Phil started belting out Betty Who’s “Somebody Loves You.”

Who’s around when the days feel long Who’s around when you can’t be strong Who’s around when you’re losing your mind Who cares that you get home safe Who knows you can’t be replaced Who thinks that you’re one of a kind

Dan tried to contain an inward chuckle at Phil singing alone there in his kitchen, scrubbing at his disgusting stovetop, but he didn’t have to try very hard. He actually didn’t find it all that funny, because he really hoped that Phil thought of him when he sang this song.

Dan suddenly realized he’d been hearing Phil humming this tune for days, but just hadn’t identified it until now.

Phil continued singing.

I’m around when your head is heavy I’m around when your hands aren’t steady I’m around when your day’s gone all wrong

Dan listened until he finally couldn’t help it and in his mind he chimed in unison with Phil, “Ooh somebody loves you…” even though Phil, of course, couldn’t hear him.

—

“Phil? Martyn? Will one of you come help your poor mother?” Phil’s mum called out to her sons. Most of the decorations already adorned the tree, but only the pinnacle remained.

Phil looked up from where he had been placing one of the final baubles on a lower branch and asked, “What is it, Mum?”

“It’s the angel,” she replied, and Phil blanched. “We need to put it on the top of the tree, and I’m not tall enough, even with the stool.”

“Ask Martyn,” Phil choked, and he raced out of the room.

Phil fled to the guest room containing his things and closed the door, sliding down to sit with his back against it, making sure that no one would follow him in to ask what was wrong.

And then Phil cried. Silently into his hands, not wanting any of his family to hear. He cried for a long time.

And if Dan could have, he would have cried, too.

—

Phil was eating dinner with four good friends at a rather nice Thai restaurant. Nothing uncomfortably fancy, but not a place he would casually frequent. Dressed much more nicely than usual, he seemed quite at ease and happy with his companions, who laughed perhaps a bit more loudly than he did, but Phil was rarely a loud person, except occasionally when playing video games.

Phil smiled with contentment, and Dan couldn’t help feeling as if he’d played a role in getting Phil to this place in his life, that he’d set Phil on this better path even if it had only been by encouraging him to leave that wretched flatmate behind last year.

Dan could barely believe the change in Phil’s circumstances. He was thriving now: living in his own flat which he’d furnished with his own things exactly to his own tastes, succeeding admirably both on YouTube and on his radio show at the BBC, closer than ever to both friends and family.

But there was one fly in the ointment. That lingering bit of sadness behind his eyes. That sense that he longed for something—someone—he’d lost forever. Those song dedications. His refusal to date.

—

It was just too much. Watching him suffer like that … it was too much.

—

A pair of black zippered boots appeared, attached to a black-clad form slightly hidden in the grass some distance from the door to the restaurant. It had been a warm January and so the snow had not settled in the warmer areas, but a bit lingered at Dan’s feet in the shadows.

He stepped onto the pavement and walked to the restaurant’s door, opening it and going inside, where a rather officious-looking little man at a podium asked him if he had a reservation. Dan hesitated a moment, then told the host that he was with the Lester party.

As the man led him through the restaurant, Dan began to feel increasingly nervous. How would Phil react? Were people staring at him? Could they tell that something was not quite right about Dan? Would Phil’s friends find him odd? Would he make Phil uncomfortable at his own birthday celebration? Perhaps this had been a bad idea.

But it was too late to turn back now, because Phil had seen him.

Phil’s friends continued their conversation, but Phil simply stared at Dan, his mouth slightly open in shock. When Dan arrived at the table, Phil didn’t say anything, though his friends all fell silent, turning to look at Dan with open curiosity. The host glanced uncertainly at Dan, obviously wondering now whether Dan had lied about being a member of the party at the table, wondering whether he’d be forced to somehow eject Dan from the premises despite Dan’s comparatively impressive size.

Dan glanced at the floor, then back to meet Phil’s eyes again. “Surprise?” he offered lamely. “May I … I thought perhaps I might join you. If … if you like.”

The restaurant’s host glanced between Phil and Dan, clearly uncertain. “Sir, this gentleman said he was a member of your party. But if he is bothering you…”

“No!” Phil replied quickly. “No! He’s not bothering me … us. I mean … yes … I know him … he is with us.”

With their odd-numbered party of five, there was, in fact, a spare place setting at the table. It was at the opposite end from where Phil sat, and Dan hesitated, nervous about joining the group and sitting so alone. Phil’s friends looked from Phil to Dan, clearly waiting for some explanation of the situation.

Phil stammered in obvious disbelief, “This is my … friend … Dan. I … I haven’t … I haven’t seen him … in a really long time. I had no idea he might be coming.” His friends seemed a bit confused, and Phil noticed their reactions. “He’s a very dear friend,” he hurried to explain, and Dan felt a surge of emotion at the description. “Would you … would you mind changing seats so that we can sit together? It’s been far too long since I’ve seen him and … I just…” Phil trailed off in wordless shock. But his friends just smiled and rearranged themselves, moving their plates and things with them as they scooted along to make room for Dan to sit at Phil’s right side.

“Hi,” Dan said quietly, with a bit of a shy smile.

“Hi,” Phil replied with more happiness in his eyes than Dan had seen in a very long time. In a year, perhaps, since that night in the snow. That tiny lingering sadness had completely disappeared.

“I’m Bryony,” one of Phil’s friends introduced herself when it became apparent that Phil was not going to do the honors. Dan already knew her name, of course. She was one of Phil’s closest friends, and Dan already liked her immensely. He gave her a warm smile.

Phil jolted out of his daze and quickly introduced everyone else. They all welcomed Dan with open friendliness, as kind and generous as Phil himself. Phil had such excellent friends. Dan felt honored to finally meet them. He said as much, and they looked at him oddly. “Phil has … spoken of you often,” he said awkwardly, because that wasn’t quite a lie. Phil had spoken of them often, just not directly to Dan. “I feel as if I know you already.”

“That’s odd,” Phil’s friend Thomas commented, glancing at Phil. “He’s never mentioned you.”

“I asked him not to,” Dan explained quickly, uncertain if perhaps he was just making things worse. “Our relationship has been … an odd one.” Thomas’s eyebrows went up, and Phil’s friends exchanged knowing looks. “Not the way that sounds…” Dan stuttered, realizing that he’d just implied a secret romantic relationship and may have made Phil uncomfortable.

“Exactly the way that sounds,” Phil said firmly, smiling at Dan. He looked at his friends. “I’m glad you finally get to meet him. Dan and I have been very close for a long time, but I never thought I’d get this chance for you all to know each other.” He reached out and took Dan’s hand with a smile so full of bliss that all Dan’s doubts fell away.

“How long are you staying?” Phil asked. “I mean … how long will you be in town?” He glanced uncertainly at his friends, clearly trying to behave and sound as normal as possible in this ridiculously abnormal situation.

“I thought I’d stick around this time,” Dan offered tentatively. “Move here. We could see each other all the time, you know? So I’m looking for a flat.” Dan floundered. “And … er … a job, I suppose. I’ll need one of those.”

Phil’s face went pale, then flushed. “You’re … you’re staying?” he asked, wonder in his voice.

Dan nodded. “If that’s … what you want.”

“Yes!” Phil exclaimed without hesitation. “Yes, that’s what I want! Of course that’s what I want! I can’t believe … you’re really staying? Permanently?”

“Permanently,” Dan affirmed, reassured by Phil’s excited response.

“Well, if you’re staying,” Phil’s friend Thomas interrupted with good cheer, “then you may as well break bread with us. We’re sharing everything family-style, so help yourself!”

Dan looked at the various dishes on the table with some trepidation. He knew what all the foods were, as he’d watched Phil eat and discuss them on previous occasions, but he had no idea how they would actually taste. He reached out toward a green curry, which he knew Phil liked quite a bit, but Phil put a hand on his arm to stop him. “That one’s a bit spicy,” Phil warned. “You might want to start with something milder. Maybe the pad thai.”

Phil’s friends had resumed their eating, but now paused again to glance in confusion at this exchange.

“This is my first time…” Dan began, uncertain how to explain.

“His first time having Thai food,” Phil finished for him, saving him. Dan nodded. It was true, after all.

Everyone else at the table expressed their surprise that Dan had never had Thai food before and all made suggestions regarding which dishes he should try first. Dan followed Phil’s suggestions and ended up with a modest amount of food on his plate.

Dan had heard people talk about food millions of times. He’d watched people eat millions of times. But that red velvet cupcake last year was the only food he’d ever tasted, and now ... he tasted all kinds of flavors. Like a real person, he was just … eating, which was completely different from observing it from the outside, from an immeasurable distance.

It was an overwhelming experience. So many sensations all at once.

He glanced at Phil and saw him watching Dan with concern. And suddenly everything was all right. He was with Phil. He took another bite of pad thai, and he tasted noodles, and he heard Phil’s friends talk to him as if he were real, because he was real, he was finally real, and he was human, and he was with Phil.

He chewed his noodles and swallowed, and gave Phil a smile. He wasn’t just an invisible guardian anymore—he was part of this world. With Phil.

In the end, he decided that his favorite dish was the fresh spring roll with shrimp, dipped in a peanut sauce that left a slight burning sensation on his tongue. That must be what “spicy” tasted like.

When they’d all finished and the plates had been cleared from the table, a member of the waitstaff arrived with a white-frosted cake topped with four flaming candles. “Three candles for the decades, and one for the additional year,” Bryony explained, and everyone laughed. Phil blew out the candles, and the cake was placed on the table where they could all see it in greater detail.

On the white surface, a forest scene had been hand drawn in primarily red piping. Squirrels, rabbits, foxes, and hedgehogs cavorted among plants and trees piped in green, with blue-piped stars scattered above their heads. The candles had been planted among the stars.

Dan immediately recognized the style, and along with everyone else he turned to look at Phil’s friend Will, a well-known artist. Tears gleamed in Phil’s eyes as he whispered, “It’s so beautiful.” Dan couldn’t help remembering the horribly disappointing cake from the previous year, and he felt proud that he had encouraged Phil to grow closer to his true friends instead of relying so much on a flatmate who didn’t care for him at all.

Dan gave Will a warm smile and said quite honestly, “I recognize your art style. It was wonderful of you to do this for Phil.” Will returned Dan’s smile and looked down at the table shyly, nodding his silent thanks for the compliment.

“But we can’t cut this up!” Phil insisted. “It’s too pretty to eat!” Bryony took several photos of Phil with the cake, then several of the cake itself, then encouraged him to cut a slice, because the beauty would be well preserved in photos. Still, Phil flinched slightly when he sliced into the cake for the first time. “Who wants some stars?” he asked, then he glanced at Dan.

“I want the hedgehog,” Dan requested in an effort to sound normal and divert attention away from himself.

“Take the stars for yourself,” Bryony suggested. “You certainly deserve them, and more.” She leaned in to give Phil a kiss on the cheek. Dan decided he rather loved Bryony. He hoped they would become good friends.

The idea of having friends felt strange, but good. Something fluttered in his stomach, and he thought it might be happiness. He would have to identify all these feelings as time went on.

He had so much to learn.

“It’s red velvet!” Phil cried as he pulled the first slice out of the cake. Everyone laughed at his surprise. Because of course these people would know he loved red velvet, that it was his favorite, and they would go out of their way to get him what he wanted most, and they would spend hours decorating it, and they would give him the quiet sort of party he enjoyed. Dan doubted that anyone had purchased this cake at any Tesco, and he looked at Bryony, guessing that she had probably baked it herself.

This was friendship, and this was love. This was the very best of what it meant to be human.

This was what Dan had chosen, and he doubted he would ever regret it for a moment.

—

When they emerged from the restaurant, everyone began discussing who should share taxis, all in a noisy, happy jumble of conversation.

Dan looked at Phil. “Want to go for a walk?” It wasn’t only food he would need to get used to. Five different people talking to him across the dinner table had been rather a lot to follow. He just longed for a moment alone with Phil.

“But it’s started snowing again!” Thomas objected, sounding concerned.

“That’s perfect,” Phil said, smiling at Dan.

—

“So you just quit?”

“So I just quit,” Dan affirmed as they walked side by side along the pavement and the snow fell lightly around them, landing on their hair and coats.

“How do you ‘quit’ being a guardian angel? Do you submit your letter of resignation to heaven or something?” Phil sounded amazed and baffled.

Dan shrugged. “I don’t know anything about heaven. I always just got orders to watch over someone, and so I did it. And today I decided I wasn’t going to do it anymore. That I was going to be with you for real, instead.”

“So you quit?” Phil was repeating himself now, still sounding dazed. “You just walked away?”

“So I quit. I just took human form again and decided I’m going to stay here.” Dan didn’t say anything else for a moment, but he stared intently down at his feet as he took each step. Finally, he burst out, “I couldn’t stand to be with you, but have you not able to see me.” Dan clenched his fists as they walked. It had been horrible. “I couldn’t stand to not be able to talk to you, or drink coffee with you, or … I couldn’t stand to not be with you, really with you, not even for one more day.”

Phil put a hand on Dan’s arm to stop him, to turn him and meet his eyes. They stood in the falling snow and looked at each other. “I thought you said it was impossible,” Phil reminded him in hushed tones, as if he couldn’t believe this was real.

Dan reached up to take Phil’s hand in his, smiling at him. “And you said I couldn’t know if it was impossible, just because no one had ever done it.” He leaned in to kiss Phil softly, then whispered, “I did the impossible for you, Phil Lester.”

And then Phil gave him a real kiss.

—

“You know, if you’re going to be a proper human person, you’ll need a last name,” Phil teased as they continued their walk, hands linked and swinging idly between them.

Dan hadn’t thought of that. He considered. “Well, I’m sort of being born in winter, right? ‘Winter is coming,’ and all that. Perhaps something from ‘Game of Thrones,’” he mused.

Phil chuckled. “Daniel Stark?”

Dan shook his head, laughing. “I’d feel too much like the son of Iron Man or something.”

“Dan Lannister?” Phil suggested, clearly joking now. “Daniel Greyjoy?” He snorted, he was laughing so hard.

Dan tilted his head, thinking. “I see myself more as the silent protector type,” he mused. “Lurking unseen until finally I make myself known at just the right moment.” It sounded perfect.

Phil looked confused. “What character is that?”

“A direwolf,” Dan said smugly, referring to the powerful animals that had protected the Stark children.

Phil raised his eyebrows. “Those names might call a bit of attention. Dan Ghost? Daniel Nymeria?”

“I was thinking of something less literal. Maybe something related to wolves in general. Daniel Wolfe? Is it too obvious?”

Phil shrugged. “That could work. Or maybe something about howling?”

Dan nodded, pleased. “I kind of like that one, but the spelling needs work, because the word ‘howl’ wouldn’t look like a proper last name.”

Phil suggested, “What about ‘Howell’?” and he spelled it to show what he meant.

Dan grinned. “I love it. Daniel Howell. The direwolf who’s been protecting you silently from the shadows all these years.”

“I love it, too.” Phil stopped and gave him a serious look. “I love you, Daniel Howell.” And then Phil reeled him in for another kiss.

“Daniel Howell loves you back. More than you know.” Dan wrapped his arms around Phil and just held him tight, feeling how real he was, how real they both were, together.

—

“What happens now?” Phil asked eventually.

Dan continued walking beside him. “Well, I hoped I could stay at yours, just until I figure things out … if that’s okay with you.” He glanced at Phil’s face, then back down at the pavement, feeling shy all of a sudden.

“No,” Phil said, and Dan’s stomach dropped. He’d always wondered what that expression meant, and now he knew. It was horrid. “I mean, yes, of course,” Phil continued, squeezing Dan’s hand in his. “Of course you can stay with me, but I meant … in the larger scheme of things.” Dan looked at him and waited, not sure what Phil was trying to ask.

Phil frowned, trying to find words, then asked hesitantly, “Are you still an angel? Or are you human?”

Dan shook his head, then shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I think I could go back to just observing from the outside if I wanted to, but I don’t want to. Right now I’m human, and I plan to stay that way. To stay with you.”

“Will you always look like this, while I get old and wrinkly and gray?”

Dan laughed. Phil honestly seemed worried about this. “I don’t know, Phil, but I doubt it. I expect this human body will age like any other human body does. So I assume I’ll age with you. We’ll get old and wrinkly and gray together.”

“Forever?” Phil asked. “Do you promise?” His eyebrows were drawn together in a little pinch above his nose as if this was the most important question he’d ever asked.

“I promise you,” Dan replied seriously, trying to calm his love’s fears. “Philip Lester, until your very last breath. I’ll always be with you.”

“And after that? After my last breath? What happens then?”

Dan hadn’t really thought about that. The important thing was to be with Phil. The rest would work itself out. Phil was the important thing.

“To be honest,” Dan said, “I don’t know. I’ve never seen past this, past what you humans do here on earth. But whatever it is, whatever happens next, we’ll do it together. Nothing’s going to make me let go of your hand. Not ever.”

Phil squeezed Dan’s hand, then pulled Dan into his arms and kissed him. His lips were cold but fantastic. “Together,” Phil affirmed. “Forever.”

Dan nodded his head and then leaned back slightly, just enough that he could see Phil’s pale eyes in the light from the street lamps. Dan smiled. The snow fell soft and quiet around them as they gazed into each other’s eyes, and it was the first day of Dan’s life.

The very first day.

And it was glorious.

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