#thanks for the Ask Khoshekh

[fox-guardian]

Cecil fursona? 👀

He seems like he’d be a possum, or something called a possum that absolutely is not a possum, but honestly anything goes

*CRACKS KNUCKLES* I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, I HAVE A FURSONA ALL PICKED OUT ALREADY ALJSDHAKJDHA

[ID: Two digital drawings of Cecil Palmer as an anthropomorphic indigo and purple cougar on a purple background. His paws, feet, cheeks, and hips have aqua crescent moons on them and the rest of his indigo fur is covered in rainbow stars, and his long tail is run through with rainbow stripes with an aqua and green stinger at the end. His irises are purple with white crescent moons as pupils and aqua sclera, and his paw pads and the inside of his mouth are aqua and green, and his claws are green.

The first image is from the chest up and shows him wearing Night Vale Radio headphones and speaking into a microphone. He is wearing a lilac denim vest with a large purple button with a green weed leaf and white text reading "Keep Night Vale Groovy" in all caps, with "groovy" in a 70s retro font. Under his vest, he's wearing a black t-shirt with "D.A.R.E." written on it in red, and the sleeves are torn off. He is smiling and gesturing with his paw hands.

The second image is full body and shows him standing on one foot with his hip popped out and his paw hands held up near his face with the backs facing the viewers, showing the crescent moons. He is smiling at the viewer with his tongue sticking out. He is wearing a pink and lilac cropped tank-top with an eye-shaped titty window, a short green and white striped ruched skirt, a bright yellow raincoat hanging off his shoulders, gold hoop earrings and a gold chain necklace with a green cactus pendant, and rainbow sequin platform sandals. His tail is curling out beside him. end ID]

~~~~

he is a cougar sparklecritter with khoshekh-like traits, meaning he's got the spine ridges and tendrils and all that jazz (sometimes) and of course, the stinger on the tail. i just think that since i headcanon cecil to be a lil older than carlos, him being a Literal Cougar is very funny to me and also he deserves the garish rainbow delight that is the sparklecritter vibe. i got excited to draw these because i already had them brewing, thank you SO MUCH for requesting this alshdajdha

#fg's art #welcome to night vale #wtnv #cecil palmer #cecil gershwin palmer #furry #wtnv furry au #ig #fg's answers #asks #requests #drug mention #cuz the pin teehee #eyestrain #and yes. i do have a furry carlos design. tho he is Very hard to draw #his animal is so very proportioned

[halothenthehorns]

(missionary voice) Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about Night Vale?

Hi I saw you reblog the cute demon cat art post and was writing you tags about what an amazing show the art is from, but thought it would fit better in an ask actually :)

The demon cat is indeed adorable, and his name is Khoshekh! He's from a fiction podcast called Night Vale, which you should absolutely listen to - it's presented as a community radio show for the town of Night Vale. The show is hosted by Cecil Palmer, who reports on all the weird things happening around town.

The twist is that so much weird shit happens in Night Vale that everyone treats it as normal. A secret underground city under the bowling alley? A mysterious glow cloud passing over town and dropping dead animals on people? A strange cat floating right above the sink in the mens' bathroom at the radio station? Eh, not the weirdest thing that's happened lately :P the show ends up being absolutely unhinged as a result, it's beautiful

There's some plot continuation but you don't really have to listen to the episodes in order if you don't want to. I hear a lot of people prefer to skip around and just listen to whatever episodes sound the most interesting. Or you can just start from episode 1 and go in order, up to you :)

Have I persuaded you yet? It's fine if not, but it would be so cool if you gave it a try! Atleast the episodes with Khoshekh, he's adorable and appears pretty early on - episode 2, I think?

Ok bye <3

I genuinely admire people who are like, hey, I love this thing, come here please and see if you do too! I will indeed go check out your podcast because vague but not actually scary horror that is treated as the norm is always so fun to me! Thanks so much for the ask and inviting me!

[interabsol]

[Khoshek the Absol is open for asks]

Teron: We've been talking in circles for the better part of an hour Kho

Khoshekh: Only because you refuse the right questions to ask

Teron: Fine... why do you appear now? Nevermind, I know. Why do you care?

Khoshekh: The actions to protect her have been revealed to us, and it is time for you to lead again, if not in public, then to the hidden who you are unable to abandon.

Teron: How? To protect her not the leading.

Khoshekh: Do you take the crown first?

Teron: ...

Khoshekh: I know your mind better than that curse, star sibling.

Teron: Don't call him a curse. He is more than that.

Khoshekh: Do you take your crown?

Teron: ...I wear it only in shadows for now, to lead your cult of heresy and the hidden courts that act in my name.

Khoshekh: Meet Xatu, he has a quest for you and will tell you who you will need. The prohphet requests that you still hold conviction to meet gods and hold parley with them.

Teron: And now for your order.

Khoshekh: As is your right, my liege

Teron: I must visit the prophet alone, in my time away Storm Eye will lose strength and I fear his mind may falter just as much. As much of a constant companion he has become to me, I need you to be at constant vigil of him and offer any accommodations to better his weakened state until I return.

Khoshekh: Does he not have a partner and child for whom can offer him the same. A life of friends and love that allowed you to escape into the background of your own body and disappear from your own.

Teron: There is hidden venom in your words Khoshekh, though much deserved. Yes he does hold dear many to him, but he cannot let that fondness keep them from pursuing their own interests and so there are days and weeks we would go without seeing anyone of value to either of us. And it is those times I fear most for his safety and why I give this task to you. For you can come to this realm and hide yet still keep watch, err, whatever it is you do with your blindness that makes you more perceptive than I am. You are more sensitive to danger if not for being an absol, but specifically because you are one of the leaders of the cult of-

Khoshekh: Even here do not say his name. Never in my presence.

Teron: ...The "blind god." I shall warn you, he is more likely to say the name if he is truly desperate. And the blind one will appear if he does, best not let that happen or they'll question why I am not part of him.

Khoshekh: I cannot go against the orders of the king I follow. I thank you for the warning and now I have my own question to ask.

Teron: You know I'll allow any question from you.

Khoshekh: Does he know about us?

Teron: No. He does not know of the cult, of the hidden realms, of the hidden courts, and he does not know about you. He only knows of my life under Sarii and the losses I've felt from that cruel Arceus.

Khoshekh: You have a strong mind then, to avoid that particular nature of your curse.

Teron: I have a strong heart, that felt more than could think at the time of his inception. He knows my rage and sorrow, not my past or secrets. He is a heart of gold that would never dare ask me to spill either unless I bring it up first. Now, I must go and so too must you. And Kho, answer his questions honestly, you might find him to be much like you.

Khoshekh: As you order. May the sand hide your steps and the wind your voice.

Teron: May the sun blind those who seek you and keep your eyes as its own.

#split for answers #teron ook #absol khoshekh

[sm0kebreaks]

a wtse ask for you! (sorry if you’ve answered this already aha) how do u think jons beholding powers vibe with nightvales whole… *gestures vaguely* deal? from your comics it seems like he still has some form of supernatural sight, but is that altered in any way by the new environment? how does it differ from cecils whole situation? also, bonus question: do jon + martin ever adopt a cat? one of khoshekhs offspring perhaps?? 🥺 thanks so much, and keep being amazing!!

i definitely looked at this and discussed it with keri and forgot to come back to it

UM

since the fears are in this reality his powers basically work the same for the most part! nightvale is heavily ruled by the spiral so a lot his attempts at KNOWING get a bit twisted and distorted but they work well on a surface level.

his and cecil's powers are very similar if not the same entirely. its just that theyre roles are different so they approach things differently. that and jon came from a reality where he was starved and riddled with guilt and has to learn AND unlearn things to properly care for himself as The Archivist here in nightvale. whereas cecil has been mentored and cultivated to be The Voice of nightvale and hasnt had to bother hunting for a meal.

dont know if that made sense or answered your question but i think if i keep going im going to get VERY off topic

anyway no they do not get a cat dealing with cecil, carlos, and their dog is already enough

#welcome to somewhere else

[ejbeachy]

So i asked for permission to use one of your Khoshekh sketches for a tattoo a couple years ago and you gave permission, but with the world being as it was, i only managed to get it done this week. So here it is (on my shoulder), and thanks again, love this little guy so much 😁

It looks amazing!!! Thank you for sharing a pic, I love it!

[thenightvaleradiostation]

There is a thin semantic line separating weird and beautiful. And that line is covered in jellyfish.

Welcome to Ask Night Vale.

Hello again, listeners readers! Cecil here. There is an envelope sitting on my desk labeled “Read me on the air”, so...

[Sound of paper unfolding, followed by someone (probably Cecil) clearing their throat.]

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to let you guys know that if you send in a question, it will take a little while for me to answer. My family is moving, and we are currently in the middle of packing everything up.

To those of you who already sent in asks and are waiting for me to answer, thanks for being patient! I’m working on answering them whenever I have a bit of free time.

P.S. Cecil, remember to refill Khoshekh’s food bowl!

The note is signed “XOX, Admin Aster”.

Hm. Neat.

- Cecil G. Palmer

Today’s weather: Live It Up by Owl City

[h4ckedfoxboyg4mma]

7, 15, 17, 21 :)

7. dream job!?

gunsmith or car mechanic if I must work

15. what do you love?

my 2 immediate family members, my cat, boy tummies, the souls series, old tanks and planes, and minecraft. not necessarily in that order!

17. if you had one wish, what would it be?

probably to have enough money to just live and explore my weird interests without having to engage with society at large

21. favorite song?

already answered :) but I still got the link copied so here u go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHCZ5jMxy4s

#asks #khoshekh-fans #thanks bro =]

[spacebuck]

for the ask thing: natasha, peter parker, tony stark

get randomly assigned as your lab partner for a whole semester: tonyget trapped with in a broken elevator for ten hours: natget as my employee trainer for my new job at McDonalds: peter

(send me three names for… whatever this is)

#ask meme #thank u!! #ok-khoshekh #barnesanswers

[trust-our-mycelian-overlords]

Help my furry gremlins!

TL; DR - plz help a trans nb latin neurodiverse mushroom pay for their pets vet treatments, PayPal and Cafecitos link at the end of the post.

SO, those who know me know I usually have a really hard time asking for help, but my economic situation has worsened to the point in which I can barely pay for my groceries, and I have two furry babies who need medical atention ASAP.

Meet Khoshekh - he´s supposed to be a cat but he doesn´t know - a demonic otherwordly gremlin who just really loves cuddling and kissing and being on top of your shoulders at all times like a pirate´s parrot. When I was hospitalized last year he developed OCD due to the separation anxiety and my ex´s bad handling, and is now dealing with many injuries - so he´s currently wearing the cone of shame, taking antibiotics, visiting an ethologist and taking anxiety medication. As you can imagine, that really takes a toll on my expenses.

Then there´s Boudica - I have no idea how she survived the stress of losing my dog (her first companion) and moving multiple times in the last years, BUT she is still a judgamental tsundere cuddlebug who purrs like a train engine and needs lots of love. Also lots of vaccines, and her annual checkup. And anti-parasite pills! Which I need to give to both my cats at once.

SO, if you´ve read this far (thank u!) you will understand that I have many needs and very little money. I´m working my ass (and my neurodiversity) off as a language teacher but the quarantine hit hard, and ANY help whatsoever is deeply appreciated. For as little as 10 dollars is enough for me to afford one visit to the vet, so if 10 ppl donate 1 dollar its already a big help (argentinian pesos aren´t worth shit so a dollar is a lot of money here)

My PayPal, if you can spare a dollar or five: https://paypal.me/asternyx?locale.x=en_US

Mi Cafecito, si sos de Argentina y querés ayudar a mis michis gorditos y traumaditos: https://cafecito.app/asternyx

Thank you very much, if you can´t donate please reblog!

#cats #kitties #khoshekh #boudica #transgender #nonbinary #neurodiversity #trans #please help

[echoes-lighthouse]

🗓️👥📱for cecil for the self ship asks?

Thank you so much!!! I love the way this ask game is written, the questions are so detailed ^-^

More Questions For My Other F/Os? :D

📅 What is your f/o's ideal date? Where do they want to take you? What do they want to do? Is the date planned to the details or is it just a general concept? Is it possible or does one or more factors stop you two from having this date?

Cecil and I go on a lot of dates, usually spontaneous and unstructured, but he definitely has an ideal date that would be Simply Perfect and lives mostly in his mind.

In the fantasy, the two of us go down to the skating rink. He helps me onto the ice, and we both fall down a lot. (In the fantasy, there's no one else on the rink, so there's no danger of getting cut to ribbons by falling into someone's blades.) We laugh and eventually I get the hang of it, and we twirl around under the shifting lights.

We stay late, and our feet are sore when we stumble home, ducking around corners to avoid the curfew police. We kiss at the door, even though we live together, and then he scoops me up and carries me over the threshold (without banging my feet or head against the door).

I think it sounds very nice, if a little unrealistic. For one thing, skating rink dates require a Level 12 dating pass, and Cecil and I are only on Level 5 at the moment. But maybe one day, if we submit the right paperwork!

👥 What does a hug from your f/o feel like? Do they linger? Are their hugs light or do they give strong bear hugs?

Oh!!! Well, I have to be more human sized for a proper hug!! Often times, Cecil just runs a finger over my cheek when he's feeling affectionate, or lets me rub my cheek against his jaw. (It leaves a bit of stardust, and I think he looks good with the sparkle)

But when I'm Cecil-sized, he gives good hugs!!! They're not bear hugs, they're a little more... octopus? He hugs me from behind, twines his arms around my waist, rests his chin on my shoulder, and then talks so that I can feel his voice humming against my spine.

If we've been apart, we run back together, and he holds me very tight on those days. Presses our cheeks together, like I do when I'm my usual size, and just holds me against him <3 <3

Cell phone details under the cut!!

📱 What does their phone background look like? Is their phone organized? Is it aesthetically pleasing? How much apps do they have downloaded and do they actually use them? How many contacts do they have?

I've followed Cecil through a lot of phones!! We met before phones existed (mostly), but he had a cute little flip phone with some charms on it for a while.

If we're talking contemporary phones... this would be in the future, but I can check!!

He's got an edited photo of Khoshekh as his lock screen, with lots of cactus and heart stickers all over it. The apps are a bit of a mess: he's always downloading new games because the advertisement was misleadingly interesting. He can rarely find the app he's actually looking for, and he's liable to get distracted on his way. His contact list is full of all the Night Vale citizens, and then some! There are always new contacts appearing on his phone. Awww, the internal background is a photo of Carlos and Esteban.

There you go, that's Cecil's future phone. But shhhh, don't tell him yet.

#listener and watcher #source: wtnv #*pats my own cheeks bc i flustered myself* #eep #i'm... love him #just for the record

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Excellent quotes from WTNV episode 49:

"I'm literally incapable of saying, Lauren" The Sass

"Yes, thank you, Lauren. You're so helpful with your words" Kevin is the master of Sass

"Pteranodons are not dinosaurs Lauren! They are arachnids"

"They bring these UGLY scientists-" *scandalized gasps from the audience. Me too*

Everything Kevin says and the inflection of his voice as he says it

"The angels- or you know, not angels, have entered the junivile detention center looking for a certain little girl. No. A young woman. No. A human being." Chills

"There were only shackles that had been pulled completely apart and the words "I am found" written on a book mark"

"No one has died of a snake bite at whole foods. No one you know" deb is very funny

"Violent revolution has never solved anything" "I beg to differ"

"I'm pretty sure hard work is implied, Kevin" "I'm pretty sure I didn't ask for your feed back! 😃"

"Hi Cecil"

"Carlos why did you not call? Or Snapshot? Or reblog any of my wood carvings of Khoshekh? I worked very hard on those" "Cecil! How would I do that! I'm in the middle of a desert that is not of this world!"

"Oh your phone totally works here!"

"Is that a Samsung?" "No. No same one you've got" just this whole exchange

"Ohhh!! Look at that! Cecil, I'm on your tumblr right now!"

"I would like Carlos to come home" OOF

"My danger meter is red. And scientifically, red is the most dangerous color"

"I'm not a hero. I'm a scientist!" The way he says it. Is kinda hot.

"Then scientist will always be my word for hero" thats cute as shit

"I even copy edited your Jaws Slash fic even though that wasn't in the job description" Cecil omg. He woud write jaws slash fic

#wtnv #night vale #welcome to nightvale #quotes #episode 49 #old oak doors part a #cecil palmer #carlos the scientist #wtnv dana #i want carlos to come home hurts knowing what happens in part B

[folkdances]

trc for the ask thing :3 or wtnv

doing trc to the left side of the slash and wtnv to the right i enjoy them both normally

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): GANSEY gansey gansey gansey i'm a ganseygirl 4 life but also henry and blue my specialest meowseys / cecil gershwin palmer my favourite freaklet

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): chainsaw ^_^ / khoshekh i like pets

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): the grey man i will not be justifying this at this time thank you ALSO GWENLLIAN / michelle nguyen love her so bad!! also huntokar and the faceless old woman

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): henry <3 / [chanting] michelle michelle michelle

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): greenmantle ^_^ / dana cardinal

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): ronan .. dance fucker dance / ... kevin

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): BRYDE cannot stand his ass / UGH CAL 🙄

#LITERALLY making out with you right now leo kittysuragi has my back if no one else does #mail #kittysuragi

[not-from-the-absence-of-violence]

Inundated with the fated thought of you

A glimpse into one of the first dates between Carlos and Cecil.  

I wrote this as a christmas gift for @heyhelloitsk !! and as always thank you to Rowan @drowninginstarlights for beta reading! 

Carlos was different. He’d always known it, and over the course of his life, he’d struggled with it on a variety of levels. Having a diagnosis and a good therapist helped, of course, but it didn’t mitigate the feelings that the world just wasn’t built for him.

Night Vale was, in many ways, a breath of fresh air. It was scientifically speaking so incredibly interesting, no one seemed to particularly mind him experimenting on it, and it was so delightfully different that Carlos didn’t even stand out.

And then there was Cecil, of course, sweet Cecil, who he got to hear on the radio every day and was now, to his astonishment, dating. Dating wasn’t exactly new to Carlos, but dating Cecil was like everything in Night Vale: weird and exciting.

Sometimes Cecil was aware of that, he’d get that odd, distant look he sometimes gets (Carlos is currently investigating the theory that Cecil might be involuntarily psychic) and ask if he missed the world he had come from. Carlos had learned that what Cecil actually meant to say was “Would you not rather go back?”.

Carlos had given it much thought, and he’d found that he didn’t miss his old world. He had given that much thought as well, and he’d come to the conclusion that the reason he didn’t want to leave Night Vale was because there was still so much of it left to study and categorize.

Now, however, as he sat on Cecil’s couch, watching while Cecil prepared something that by all laws of science shouldn’t be edible but smelled good, Cecil occasionally turning around, revealing his government mandated “All hail the glow cloud” apron and just smiling at Carlos or telling joke that was semi-incomprehensible, Carlos was beginning to review his previous conclusion.

Feelings were complicated things, and they very stubbornly refused to be understood, but for what was certainly the first time in a very long time he felt like he didn’t need to understand. It was nice enough to experience it.

After Cecil had shoved what he graciously called a casserole into the oven, he came to sit next to Carlos on the couch. “What were you doing while I was cooking?” he asked.

“This is very important scientific research,” Carlos said, but he felt his ears burn as he looked down onto his paper where the important numbers and equations were surrounded by bubble hearts and other little doodles.

Cecil looked at his notes and nodded seriously. “Looks very important, yes.”

Before Night Vale, Carlos had learned that silences should be awkward, but by now, he knows that Cecil didn’t mind. He also didn’t mind excitedly carrying an entire conversation when Carlos didn’t feel like talking. Most importantly, however, he didn’t mind when Carlos rambled. Usually people got tired, but Cecil would always listen to him with rapt attention, smiling like Carlos was the world's biggest genius for explaining different types of salt rock.

So they sat in comfortable silence, the ominous hum of Cecil's oven as background noise, smiling at each other.

“How was work today?” Carlos eventually asked, even though it wasn’t particularly necessary considering he’d heard it on the radio.

Cecil’s eyes lit up anyway, and with his excitement the lightbulbs brightened. He talked excitedly, recounting with detail his work day, and with his hand movements and laughs the environment moved with him, the colours blinking, the air rushing. Carlos loved it. He’d asked Cecil about it, of course, but he seemed to be either unaware of his powers or considered them as natural as breathing, and he’d met every one of Carlos’ questions with a confused but curious glance.

Cecil was in the middle of his animated explanation of the new intern's way of petting Khoshekh without being consumed by the yawning void when he briefly caught Carlos’ eye. “Is it alright if I hold your hand?” he asked.

It caught Carlos a little off guard. Cecil’s gaze was almost timid, fixed upon Carlos, accompanied by a sudden rush of a soft breeze and the smell of petrichor. It was almost overwhelming.

Carlos and physical touch had a complicated relationship. Generally speaking, he wasn't very fond of it, sometimes he craved it dearly, but in a very specific way, sometimes it hurt. Most people didn’t give him the space he needed for experimentation, but he knew that Cecil would. So tentatively he nodded, reaching out to take Cecil’s hand. Cecil immediately laced their fingers together. That didn’t feel bad, just a little cramped, and he felt a rush of excited emotion from Cecil. It seemed the slight telepathy apparently also worked based on touch. Carlos shifted his hands a little to be more comfortable, Cecil shifted a bit closer.

The whole thing was very slow, but then Carlos gently laid his head on Cecil’s shoulder, who was almost vibrating with excitement. The air around them seemed to shimmer, like a distant heat haze, with Cecil’s feelings. It was a dazzling display, and Carlos had never felt more cared for.

Cecil moved a hand ever so gently towards Carlos’ hair. He made a gesture. May I?

Carlos nodded and Cecil gently sunk his hand into Carlos’ hair. It was nice actually, Cecil stroked his hair in a rhythmic motion, careful not to tangle it or yank at it. Carlos let out a quiet, happy sound. He turned to look at Cecil who was looking back at him wide eyed and openly adoring. Pinpricks of light burst around them, looking almost like fireflies. Carlos felt like he was in a movie, surrounded by light, the rest of the world disappearing.

His heart thundered in his chest, and he could feel the flush creep its way along his neck and ears.

“It’s so soft!” Cecil marveled, flapping his hands with excitement.

Carlos understood him then. Night Vale was so different that perhaps no one would ever find the words to express the shared feeling of unity they had right now. But that was alright because Cecil made the lamps flicker and bounce; Carlos called him “neat” and attempted to explain gravity to him.

They both knew what it meant: I like you, I am happy, I am safe, I am home.

They sat there together, experimenting with small touches for a while. Cecil was clearly happy to indulge him, and very quick to stop at the first sign of discomfort. Eventually Carlos tired of it, mentally taking notes on both his and Cecil’s responses to write down later. The oven was still humming and Carlos sighed a little. The humming had started to grate on him now.

Like clockwork, Cecil clicked his fingers, and out of nowhere a soft background tune started playing, unobtrusive but perfect.

“Better?” he said kindly.

That was the first moment Carlos realised he was falling in love with him. This utterly impossible man, who recounted unknowable horrors like it was boring chit chat, who had sat there looking at the lights above the Arby’s with him, who was kind and weird and fit right in with Carlos.

“Yes, Cecil,” is the only thing he managed to say. “Thank you.”

Cecil smiled and stood up. “The casserole must be done by now!” he said, heading over to the oven and pulling the casserole in question out of the hot oven without mittens on.

They ate together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. They watched a documentary that was intermittently broken up by government propaganda. Cecil asked Carlos to stay the night and for the first time he said yes.

Carlos mulled the day over while pretending to sleep, as you did in Night Vale. He realised he didn’t just want to stay for science anymore. He wanted to stay because this world was built for him, because Cecil was here, because of the town and its people, no matter the dangers.He wanted to stay because it was home, the only one he’d ever had.

He wanted to stay because he loved it.

He felt many things towards this discovery that he couldn’t put into words, so he just gently laid his hand on Cecil’s unmoving hand and smiled as the streetlight outside the window turned on.

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #cecil palmer #carlos the scientist #cecilos #fic #my writing

[the-night-vale-daily-journal]

Here at the station we have been receiving many calls and emails over the last several months, asking us about Khoshekh, the cat found hovering in the men’s bathroom. Well, he is doing just fine, and thank you very much for your concern.

In fact, he recently gave birth to an adorable litter of kittens. How does a he-cat give birth? Well, how does a he-cat hover in an immobile spot in a radio station bathroom? Some things just aren’t meant to be questioned. Most things, actually.

Welcome to Night Vale / Episode 23: Eternal Scouts

#welcome to night vale #dailywtnv #Ep23 #khoshekh

[ollieofthebeholder]

For Personal Reasons

Also on AO3. 

It shouldn't be so terrifying to take that next little step.

It isn't like it would be unwelcome, Carlos thinks, running a hand through his hair as he paces around his living room. He knows it won't be unwelcome. Hell, the whole damn town probably knows it won't be unwelcome. They're probably all wondering why he hasn't done it yet. If they realize he hasn't.

Carlos came to Night Vale for one reason and one reason only – that it defied all known laws of science. It seemed like a fascinating place to study. Other scientists might have been interested in the fame it brought them, the research grants, the prestige of attaching their name to a study of such a place. Carlos was, and still is, interested in none of that. It was his curiosity that brought him to Night Vale, the desire to know.

It is a different kind of desire that has kept him here.

Carlos made eye contact with a most singular man, within his first few hours of arriving in town, and that brief moment had knocked him for a loop. He fled, of course. Didn't bother asking his name, or how long he'd lived in town, or whether or not he had ever noticed these strange occurrences or flagrant disregard for the laws of nature. All of which would have been perfectly reasonable things for a scientist to ask. After all, his studies had to start somewhere, so why not with this man, with his warm eyes and his charming smile and his strong jaw?

The answer, of course, is because he terrified Carlos. Not that there was anything monstrous about him. He didn't have a fixed, glassy-eyed stare or overly-sharp teeth or wings or a suspiciously cheerful, optimistic personality. All of that was the ordinary kind of terrifying, and Carlos the scientist could deal with it, as he dealt with it in all the other citizens of Night Vale, simply by formulating theories and conducting studies and analyzing tests. No, this man terrified him for the simple reason that he stirred up wants, desires Carlos fought too long and too hard to keep hidden.

All his life, Carlos has understood that the way he feels about other men is shameful, a vile perversion to be kept behind closed doors. It's better now than when he was young, at least in some places, but Carlos has never lived in those places. The whispers, the damning accusations, swirl around him every time he lets his feelings go. So when he locked eyes with the man on the street and felt the instant connection, he panicked and scurried away and asked no questions. Not at first, anyway, although he managed to learn what he needed to know eventually.

Cecil Palmer, reporter and radio personality, the voice of the evening show at Night Vale Community Radio. He was beautiful to look at, and even more beautiful to listen to, with a voice like molasses, smooth and dark and flowing and sweet, but not too sweet, not cloying. And Carlos damn near dropped dead of a heart attack on the spot when he listened to the man's radio show for the first time, only to hear him rambling about Carlos.

Well, nobody ran him out of town, or tried to set fire to the radio station, so Carlos concluded, to his mild surprise, that nobody in Night Vale actually gave a damn that Cecil seemed to have a crush on another man. It definitely came as a shock to him.

When they did finally meet, finally exchange contact information, Carlos wasn't sure whether to be grateful or disappointed that Cecil didn't reach out first. He always waited for Carlos to contact him first. Carlos always chickened out, though, and made the conversation about science – asking Cecil about strange phenomena, passing along new discoveries, getting him to spread the news to his listeners. Cecil never seemed upset when Carlos turned down the offer of getting more personal.

No matter how badly he's wanted to.

Carlos took to listening to Cecil's show on the daily. At first, he listened while he worked in his lab, but before long, he started using Cecil's opener as a signal that it was time to start winding down for the day, or at least take a break. He told himself it was good sense; the show starts at the same time every day, and it keeps him from losing track of time while wrapped up in an experiment. It certainly has nothing to do with the fact that he can't concentrate properly while listening to Cecil's voice. It's certainly not that. And the fact that, when he does have to be out of the lab or working when Cecil's show starts, he records it to listen to later isn't anything to write home about either. Cecil is a good reporter, with his finger on the town's pulse. He doesn't editorialize – much – and always warns the listeners before he does. It's sensible for Carlos to want to be sure he gets Cecil's news reports, when he can. It's certainly not that he just likes hearing him.

He's learned a lot about the man over the past year, mostly from listening to the radio but also from their too-brief interactions. Cecil is smart, and funny, and kind. He's a real animal lover – he was never exactly a cat person, or so he avers, but the sight of him cooing over Khoshekh, the hovering cat in the Night Vale Community Radio Station's men's restroom, did funny things to Carlos's insides the first time he saw it, and his sheer delight when the cat produced a litter of kittens made Carlos smile so broadly it hurt. (Carlos would have adopted one of those kittens if he hadn't been allergic. He almost adopted one anyway, just for the excuse to go to the station and see Cecil, but again, he chickened out at the last minute.) He cares about his community, and the individuals in it...for the most part. His utter hatred of Steve Carlsburg is kind of amusing, actually, but for all that, Carlos politely avoids the man whenever he sees him. Cecil is – was – right about the so-called Apache Tracker, at least.

For all he's tried to keep his distance, there have been a few moments he almost broke. The sandstorm, for instance. Carlos remembers hunkering down in a well-protected area of the house he rented, listening to both the wind outside and the calm, soothing sound of Cecil's voice. He wasn't worried. He trusted Cecil when he gave instructions to keep safe, trusted him when he said that they could coexist with their doubles if they appeared. He wasn't worried until Cecil described a vortex forming on the wall of his studio. Carlos didn't even have time to reach for his phone to text Cecil, to warn him not to touch it, before Cecil leaped through it...apparently.

And then the voice that came on was not Cecil's, but someone else, and Carlos's stomach dropped to his shoes even as his heart leaped to his throat. Cecil was gone, replaced by this...other, this high-pitched, vaguely creepy-voiced individual. Carlos held his breath as he realized that, unlike everyone else in town who met their double – whose double appeared in the same place as them – Cecil had traded places with his double, a man with a different name and different voice who seemed lost and confused. Thank God the vortex was still there, and the man went back through it...but when he described Cecil's desk as strangely bloodless, Carlos panicked anew. He nearly sobbed with relief when he heard Cecil's voice once more, following the weather, and only barely stopped himself from running to the radio station and wrapping him up in a hug.

But when he called Cecil later, intending to tell him how thankful he was that he was okay and that he had come back safe, he chickened out again and kept it impersonal, kept it to science. Cecil, sweet Cecil, let him lead the conversation, and didn't seem upset when Carlos panicked again and turned him down when he suggested getting more personal even though there was nothing Carlos wanted more.

Carlos is still trying to convince himself that the only reason he didn't send the poems he wrote for Night Vale Poetry Week to the radio station is because they are bad, or because they don't really seem to carry the same spirit as the poems Cecil read over the airwaves. Carlos is not a poet. He's a scientist. But he tried his hand at it anyway, just for grins and giggles. His left hand, to be specific, because Carlos is ambidextrous and for some reason that sort of thing comes easier when he uses his left hand and not his right. There is probably a scientific explanation for that, but Carlos has never been interested in experimenting on himself and he's not even sure what he would be able to test. Anyway, he tried his hand at writing poetry and found, in the early light of dawn, that he had filled an entire notebook. But when he realized what they were about, he hastily shoved the notebook into a drawer and tried to forget about it. He can't show those to anyone. Can't send them to the radio station. Can't send them to Cecil. Even if he sends them anonymously, even if he disguises his handwriting. Cecil doesn't need to see those words before Carlos has the courage to say them out loud.

He thought he was going to. He had it planned. Cecil invited him, he said, to a special ceremony, something about a one-year anniversary. Carlos was going to go, assuming it was a community thing, and pull Cecil aside and finally tell him how he felt. But then Teddy Williams announced the army from below Lane Five was imminent, and Carlos let his scientific curiosity get the better of him and went to the alley to investigate. He figured he'd have plenty of time. Maybe he'd text Cecil and ask him to save him, Carlos, a seat at...whatever ceremony it was they were supposed to be going to. He set up his equipment to record Cecil's show and went to the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex.

Which brings him to now.

Carlos died. He doesn't need to run tests, or question logic, or anything like that. This is Night Vale and honestly this is one of the least inexplicable things that's happened since he got here. He had just finished demonstrating to Teddy Williams, his militia, and the disgruntled bowling party that the invaders were tiny and the pit only ten feet deep, that they were worrying over what was, broadly speaking, nothing, when he felt the first shot hit him. And then the second, and then the third, and then there were too many to feel where one ended and the next began.

And then there was darkness.

And then there was...not darkness. There was, instead, fluorescent lights and overworked machinery and neon industrial-loop carpet, and if he was looking into the face of God then God looked a hell of a lot like Teddy Williams, and if he was still dead it sure hurt a hell of a lot. But Teddy Williams – who was apparently a doctor, and Carlos' brain just accepted that because why wouldn't he be – assured him he was going to be okay. That he would live. That he did live.

He does live.

Carlos wandered out into the gathering twilight of Night Vale and lifted his phone with shaking fingers and sent a text to Cecil. It was only after he sent it that he realized Cecil's show was still going on, and he wouldn't get an answer for a while. But barely had he perched himself on the trunk of his car to wait than Cecil arrived in the Arby's parking lot, his beautiful face pale and drawn, his lovely eyes wide and bright and suspiciously wet, and his smile uncertain and hopeful.

Carlos couldn't quite bring himself to say everything. That the world was off-balance and he needed Cecil to stabilize it again. That he had been scared, more scared than he had been in a long time, and he needed Cecil nearby to make him feel safe again. That somehow, in the year he's been in Night Vale, Cecil has become safety, has become security, has become home. But he did allow himself to tell Cecil that he hadn't texted him about science, that he just wanted to see Cecil, and Cecil sat next to him and let Carlos rest a hand on his leg while he leaned against Carlos' shoulder, and they watched the light in the sky above the Arby's together, until Cecil had to go back to the station because the weather would be over and he had to finish out his show, and Carlos understood and let him go to be the beacon in the dark for all the lost souls, not just Carlos. He thought, for just a brief, shining moment, that they were getting somewhere.

And now, here he is, a month later, pacing around his living room and trying to convince himself to just call already.

They've interacted a bit since then, more or less back to the way it was before Carlos' near-death experience. Cecil still smiles, still sounds hopeful when Carlos calls, but he doesn't push when Carlos, inevitably, backs down from his firm intention, or at least semisolid intention, and insists it's not a personal call. He resorted to making something up off the top of his head last week because he couldn't actually come up with something he needed more information on or needed Cecil to warn his listeners about, not that Cecil seemed to notice. It's getting ridiculous, even more ridiculous than it was before.

There's no reason to be afraid. It's not even that big of a step. Why can't he take it?

It occurs to Carlos that he hasn't listened to the last recording he made, the one of the show Cecil was giving while Carlos was busy being an idiot. He wants to hear Cecil's voice, and there's still time before his show tonight, so it can't hurt to listen to it now, right?

Sure. Can't hurt at all.

Carlos presses play and sits down to listen. It's fairly typical for one of Cecil's broadcasts, and heat floods Carlos' cheeks when he realizes that Cecil planned the anniversary ceremony himself, that it was meant to be for Carlos, and he squirms a little with guilt over not going right away. He lets Cecil's voice, gentle and soothing and warm, flow over him like a blanket and tries to forget the middle of the story, because even if it has a happy ending it had a truly terrifying middle. At least for Carlos.

It's not until Cecil comes back from a short break that Carlos realizes it must have been terrifying for him, too.

Listening to Cecil's voice as he struggles to stay calm and professional, struggles to report on what happened beneath Lane Five, Carlos feels his breath catch in his throat and his chest tighten. He remembers wishing Cecil could have been there when he...and he can't decide now if he still wishes he was there. If it would have made things better for either of them if Cecil could have held him...or made things worse. The way Cecil's voice breaks, the heartbroken sob as he cuts to a public service announcement, brings tears to Carlos' eyes too.

He suddenly understands. He understands the expression on Cecil's face, the pallor and the wetness, when he arrived at the Arby's parking lot. He understands the way he seemed to sink into Carlos' side when they sat on his car. He understands the gentle slide of Cecil's fingers over Carlos' hand as he – reluctantly – pulled away. He understands the added brightness in Cecil's voice every time Carlos calls him.

And he knows.

As soon as Cecil signs off on the show's recording, Carlos reaches for his phone. It's early enough – Cecil won't be at the station yet, or if he is, he at least won't be on the air yet. It's now or never, and after listening to that, Carlos can't – won't – accept never as an option.

The phone rings, once, twice. Cecil answers, his voice bright and warm and excited, the way it always is when he answers, the way Carlos doesn't think he actually answers the phone for anybody else. He almost chickens out again, but the memory of that small sob stops him. Taking a deep breath, he says the six words that will change the course of the rest of his life.

“I am calling for personal reasons.”

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #cecil/carlos #yes I know I'm eight years late to the party #sue me #ollie writes fanfic

[salamoonder]

cat, ghost?

Cat: what are the names of your pets?

my cat’s name is khoshekh roger koschei (destroyer of worlds) and my two bettas are dromio and lady macbetta :)

Ghost: have you had a supernatural encounter?

haaaaa good question lol. i’ve been in a lot of...odd situations but the two very concrete “that was extremely weird” moments that i can point to is 1) once i was coming up the stairs to the attic and a light turned on by itself (everyone else was downstairs, the light was clearly in my field of vision, and it was one of those lights that turns on by having the cord pulled and the cord was...not moving) and 2) the time i was home alone (this was before i had khoshekh) and the piano (acoustic) started playing by itself. it stopped when i walked into the room.

thanks for the ask :) (spooky asks)

#anonymous