The level of detail and thought you've put into hai is incredible!
I have a question. I love how you've described Eddie as a rizzless loverboy (my favorrite kind) so I need to know how he managed to get with an ice queen like Nicole. Not to mention some stuff with Chrissy later and even Cass but I'm most curious about Nicole, especially since she's a former friend of lacy's and he describes her as the one person who's meaner than lacy. I need details. How did it all go down? i like to imagine that she approached him. What makes me sad is that I think she probably did it just to say she lost her virginity but I also like to think that they all find him hot but they just wont say it because he's the town freak
NONNY COME THROUGH I LOVE THIS QUESTION!!!!!! hard agree on nicole approaching him because she's nasty as fuck in all the wrong era-typical ways and he's scared as hell of her (like, she really could bite and not in a cute way). but i also agree about these girls secretly being endeared to him. i mean, we saw it with chrissy-- he has a knack for making people feel safe in vulnerable little moments. but unfortunately, people (teenagers) are also diiiiiiicks
so fuck it, let's blurb it out! or
EDDIE MUNSON STAMPS NICOLE SUMMERS' V-CARD (NOT A BOARD WAXER, NOT IN MAUI)
content warning: swearing, wildly unsexy implication of sex, nicole summers sucks dude, teenagers scare the living shit out of me, me attempting to incorporate dnd terminology, GRANNY ECKER KLAXON, there's also an easter egg in this for the rest of the story if you know where to look
word count: 2.6k (lol what)
part of the hellfire & ice universe (duh!)
FOREST HILLS TRAILER PARK, 1982-ISH
She's gotta be doing community service.
It's Easter, right, so this has gotta be like... a Jesus thing. But she doesn't seem like a Jesus person.
It's the only precedent that would explain what Nicole Summers, jaw jutting out in an exaggerated scowl, is doing serving Meals on Wheels to the less fortunate dwellers of Hawkins' favorite trailer park. Her red hair blazes in the sunlight, searing into his retinas--
But that could also be the weed talking.
"Ma'am, like, I don't know what to tell you, you're signed up to receive these."
"And I don't know what to tell you, little girl," Veronica Ecker Sr., affectionately and fearsomely known as Granny to him, grits from the doorway, "but I'm perfectly capable of cooking my own darn food."
Eddie's been lingering around the Ecker trailer, see, waiting for Ronnie to be freed from yet another M*A*S*H appointment with her grandmother ("Ever since she stopped going to church, it's like, all Alan Alda all the time," quoth Ronnie) and run through his latest Hellfire campaign.
"I'm not saying that you don't, I'm just saying that--"
"You're making me miss my program."
"I'll eat it." Eddie doesn't know who said that or why it sounds like his voice, until he figures out that he said it, which is why it sounds like his voice. Jesus, that shit he lifted from his dad was strong.
Granny Ecker and Nicole Summers elicit almost identical reactions of annoyance once they clock that he's there, lingering in the outfield.
"Junior, if you don't--"
"Oh my God. Ew."
Eddie plants his hands on his hips, half in the hopes that this might look authoritative, half mirroring Granny. "Well, y'know. Waste not want not."
Granny considers him, then apparently considers that this might not be such a terrible idea. Her laser focus directs back to Nicole.
"I don't give a shit. I'm not eating that tripe."
"I'm not just-- authorized to pass off meals like that. There's a system."
"Wait, you need clearance for stuff like that? In Meals on Wheels?" That'd be Ronnie's voice, head popping over her grandmother's shoulder. "Oh, hey, Eddie."
"Hey, Ron. You ready to--"
"Veronica, get back inside. I need you to hit that thing back to record when M*A*S*H comes back on. I don't want any commercials on my darn tapes."
"Oh my God, forget it!" Nicole breaks, stalking towards him with a foil-wrapped tray. She stays a safe distance away and thrusts it towards them-- something something freak cooties, some new line of bullshit that her and her dumb little clique had come up with in middle school. "Here. I don't need the whole freak council weighing in on this."
Eddie takes the tray and considers the shiny foil wrapping. His reflection is all distorted in there, a funhouse mirror but way, way worse. This makes him compelled to be unwisely honest to Nicole, who's already making tracks away from him. He jogs to catch up, foil crinkling as he moves. "Well, now I feel bad."
"Don't."
"It's like robbing from old people. Maybe you should give this to another old person. Like a super skinny one. Who might need two."
"Fuck 'em."
"Gee, Nicole, you're really buildin' that stairway to heaven, huh?"
"Ugh. What?"
"The meals-- the Meals on Wheels. It's a nice thing to... do. Fuckin'... forget it." Eddie stops dead; he might be loaded right now, but he knows which side his bread is buttered on. And he hasn't got any bread. He thinks it might be mashed potatoes, green beans and some rubbery chicken. Anyway, he turns heel-- this conversation isn't going anywhere.
"Hey, freak." The derisive nickname comes calling from Nicole's end. Ring-ring. "Are you stoned right now?"
"De-pendsssss," Eddie murmurs, the 's' sound going on for like five minutes, "Are you... a cop right now?"
Nicole busts out a giggle. It's kind of a pretty noise, if a little grating. She's kind of pretty. Eddie remembers when she had braces in middle school and whenever she'd pick on him, she'd kind of spit on him too. Gross. But still kind of pretty.
"I know how you can make it up to me."
Jump-freaking-cut and Nicole Summers is sitting with Eddie in that creepy wooded area near Forest Hills, making a miserable job of rolling a joint out of a dusting of his dad's weed and a torn-open Pall Mall. His buzz has kind of come and gone, and in its wake the knotted, deadened trees are looking extra gnarly.
"God, I suck at this."
You don't suck. You just need practice, is what Eddie would say if it were anybody else sitting with him, but all he manages is, "Eugh."
Because she does suck. And he's too nervous to further verbalize himself. He holds his hand out and she drops the comically conical attempt at a joint into it.
Deftly, Eddie re-rolls it just like that. "Practice, baby. Only way to Carnegie Hall."
"Wait, what?" Nicole murmurs, brow furrowed.
Eddie wishes he didn't phrase it like that either. "Um. Nothing. How come you're doing Meals on Wheels?"
A guttural sigh comes right from the center of her chest, which Eddie can almost see, thanks to her super low-cut tank top. Her cleavage is all freckled and hiked up, thanks to the Wonderbra that he's been painstakingly avoiding tracing the outline of with his eyes. "My fucking aunt. She's like some do-gooder Christian nutso, she runs the whole thing."
"Oh--" but Nicole's not done. She kicks a toeful of dirt up just as Eddie ignites the end of the joint and takes a harsh pull.
"I'm stuck with her this whole break because my grades were shit. I'm supposed to be in Maui, y'know."
Eddie wordlessly passes the joint on. Knew it was a Jesus thing. And like, boo-hoo, he guesses? He doesn't have any real pity for Nicole Summers right now, because overall she fucking blows. She's mean as hell, for no good reason.
Ronnie came up with a good analogy for it one time; like, put up against that chick Lacy that she hangs out with, Nicole is mean like a bad dog. She just keeps barking and barking and barking and barking and it is relentless and it's busting open your eardrums and she's snarling and you're too scared to get in her way so you just tolerate it. Even if it fucks up your whole day.
That Lacy girl, though, she's mean like a guillotine. One sharp drop and you're done. Dead. Headless horseman.
"I know which one is worse-- Nicole, obviously, because it chips away at you and it's so freakin' loud. But I know which one I'd prefer," Ronnie had said, "I feel like if Lacy comes for you, you've really earned it. Like, you possibly deserve to perish."
But ultimately, curiosity will be the death of Eddie Munson. And so will girls. And so will boring Spring break Sundays.
Nicole half-chokes on a lungful of smoke and Eddie's got to pat her on the back so he doesn't get nailed for her murder or whatever.
"God. Gross," Nicole gripes on recovery. "Ugh. My whole family is in Maui, but I'm stuck here and like-- I even told people I was going to Maui and it's like-- so fucked."
"Totally." Eddie makes pincer fingers towards the joint. "Don't bogart that."
But Nicole is holding it aloft, totally off on her own journey, and Eddie wonders if the weed has hit her that fast or if she's just completely self-involved.
"I even sent postcards to people, pretending I was in Maui. If you wanna know something really pathetic."
It takes a second for Eddie to decipher it, but it seems like she's saying that she's been sneaking around Hawkins incognito all break because she told all of her sucker friends she was in the Central Pacific.
"You completely said that sentence backwards."
He notes that down to tell Ronnie about later.
"Shuddup, freak."
"Man, it is so completely uncool of you to keep calling me a freak when you're literally smoking my weed."
"You took my Meal on Wheel."
"Meal on Wheel for a well-rolled joint does not an even trade make, Summers!"
"So why did you say okay?!" Nicole barks, and Eddie finally gets a grasp of that joint. He's up, he's off the log they were occupying. There is a buzz to be had here, a good time rolled tight up in these flammable papers and he is not about to waste it by letting Nicole Summers verbally wail on him.
"Because I am obviously a veritable moron of the highest knight's order and I had time to kill before M*A*S*H was over!"
That rhymed.
Nicole looks up at him with her green eyes narrowed, this horrible, puggy grimace wrinkling her face. And then she says something so beyond the realm of Eddie's comprehension that he's sure the weed is turning on him.
"Do you wanna, like, hook up?" Nicole says-- scratch that, Nicole snarls.
"What?!" So this level of fuckery doesn't make sense to Eddie because nobody's around. Like, if Nicole takes a shot at the freak and Hagan and Carol and Tina and Lacy and Cass aren't around to hear it, did it even happen?
"I'm serious," Nicole deadpans. "I kind of... look, so I kind of wrote to some people that I hooked up with someone on vacation and, like... I could make that not a whole lie."
"Nicole," Eddie says, in a tone about as measured as he can manage, which is not very because his balls seem to have vacuumed themselves back into his body, "Are you asking me to aid and abet your elaborate scam in which you're currently pretending you're in Maui getting, what... railed by like, a surfer?"
"Wow. That's actually kinda close to what I've been telling people."
He would later find out that she said her premiere paramour was a board waxer.
Eddie inhales a lungful of smoke so deep and so urgent that it makes him feel like Hunter S Thompson-- that is, to say, certifiably insane. Because Eddie's never been... Like, he's made out, or whatever, and grazed a boob like once, but...
In an ideal world, he would not be in the woods. In an ideal world, there might be some perfect declaration beforehand, and he might be indoors, and he might be wearing cleaner underwear. In an ideal world, it would not be Nicole Summers.
Roll Perception. Is this really how it happens? Maybe she secretly... likes me?
The D20 in his brain lands a nat one.
Yeah, maybe. But you've been wrong about that before.
Nicole gets up, and he can just about see the cogs turning in her head, trying to intimate an expression of sultriness. It's such a thin mask that he can basically see her rolling her eyes behind it.
"C'mon. You can't tell me you haven't... thought about it," she tries, dropping her voice in volume and pouting her lips.
And Christ, Eddie hates to be such a guy about it, but... you hate to look a gift horse in the formerly-braces-clad mouth.
I haven't thought about it. I think you suck. But I also think this might be my one shot at something for a long, long, long, long, long--
"God, quit thinking about it and kiss me, freak."
It's almost hot, it's like lukewarm at the very best, which is good enough for Eddie so he goes for it. Lips on lips, but Nicole apparently doesn't follow rhythm very well. There's a lot of dry macking, not a lot of... sensual action. He's almost starting to feel sorry for her.
But then-- well, let's just cut to the chase since that's the flavor du jour, then her hand is on his dick. Through the jeans, obviously, she's not a belt ninja but it's very much there. Flesh and tendons, palming at him.
In this situation, Eddie's not a hard sell. Badum-tsssss.
He uses one hand to hook around the back of her neck, tilting her head toward him-- using this opportunity to kiss her right, or what he assumes is right, while she's distracted. Nicole cannot focus on two things-bad kissing and dick handling-at once, unlike Eddie, who uses his free hand to feel her boobs.
"Siddown on the log," she breathes. Just what you want to hear in the heat of passion.
"Uh-- okay," and he does what he is told. Because she's still a pitbull, at the end of the day.
"Do you, like, have anything?"
"Like... the clap?" Eddie sorta-squeaks as Nicole positions herself over him, one knee either side of his thighs. She's got good balance. Is she in cheerleading? Or is that the other mean one?
"No, you fuckin'-- like a condom."
"Oh." His heart sinks. There's a box of Trojans that Ronnie jokingly bought him after he tried to lay a smacker on her-majorly misguided move, by the way!-but he doesn't--
Wait, shut up. They were literally having this argument the other day, he and Ronnie, about that tiny pocket on pairs of jeans. You know the one. Ronnie was trying to explain that it was for cowboys to keep their watches in, whereas Eddie was arguing that there's no way that cowboys need a watch, dude. They go by the sun in the sky. Like men, so the pocket obviously had to be for emergency prophylactics.
He'd even demonstrated, slipping a good ol' Troj into the tiny fold!
Eddie, in his over-excited state, almost knocks Nicole off the log trying to dig the rubber out. "Voilà."
"Whut," Nicole mumbles.
"Do you take Spanish?"
"No, French."
"... okay."
Here it is. This is it. He's about to get his dick out in the scary wooded part by the trailer park where he once tried to dig a hole to China. Fuck.
But all of a sudden, Nicole is fumbling. Her movements are suddenly weird and unsure and reserved and tight. Badum-- fuck off.
"Hey, y--y'alright?" Eddie murmurs, almost brushing her hair off her face. But that feels too intimate. Even considering the circumstances.
"Have you... done this before?" she says, lips pursed and small as she fiddles with his belt.
"Um." To truth, or not to truth? That is to lose any and all hope of losing one's virginity. "I--"
"I haven't."
A little moment of silence hangs between them. That's not a bark. That's a real girl in there.
Eddie swallows, despite the precipice of opportunity. He finds his throat is very dry, sandpaper going down. That feeling-- it's a distinct sensory recall. A favor someone once did him at a birthday party.
Because Nicole's a dick, but she's still a person.
Not that she'd give him the same grace.
Oh well. Building his stairway to heaven, and all that shit.
"We don't... have to." He nods, resolutely. Partially for himself. He even puts a hand over Nicole's, where it lingers on his undone fly. "Seriously."
Nicole's eyelashes flicker and she stares at him for a drawn out beat. As if she's considering him. Really considering him. Outside of the bullshit dichotomy in which they live. A crease eventually settles in her brow, looking at him like, are you serious, loser?
"No, I obviously want to."
Want to with me? he nearly chances.
"Just don't be, like... weird about this after," she instructs. "It never happened."
"I'm not gonna. It didn't." That sounds too soft, so he snorts a little at the end.
Eddie barely has time to ask her if she's okay before it's lights out for him.
The most unforgettable thirty seconds of Eddie Munson's pubescent life up to that point begins with a scoff (his) and ends in a scoff (hers).
But that dog ceases barking for at least three weeks following. No biting in the hallway, no harassment in the parking lot. Even when Hagan sniffs around him, Nicole doesn't jeer on. She averts her eyes.
It's no declaration of love, but at least he got a free dinner out of it.
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Do you have any headcanons regarding Sonic characters and their sexuality? Either from idw, archie or just Sonic in general
I do, actually! Since I have quite a lot I'll put a bunch of random ones under the cut
But if there are any sexuality headcanons I didn't include under the cut or you'd like me to elaborate on, feel free to send me another ask!😊❤️
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Sonic (Archie):
Oh boy. So, writing inconsistencies aside, from pretty early on I settled on Archie Sonic being on the AroAce spectrum. And originally, this was because of how his relationship with one Sally Acorn was handled. I've read my fair share of "will they won't they" romances in my lifetime, so I could understand having one or both of them being jealous when there's an implication that the other may like a different person romantically. I can also understand being afraid to confess or trying to make the other person jealous so they'll chase them without having to make a proper confession.
However, I soon became very frustrated at the writers' handling of this relationship I'd so loved when I was a kid. Why? The simple crux of the matter is that there is a point early on in Archie Sonic where both Sally and Sonic are aware that the other has feelings for them, but the story is still played like a "will they won't they". These two were often treated like they were in this weird spot between dating and childhood friends. So if Sally kissed someone else (like Geoffrey) it would make Sonic wildly jealous. With that, in moments like these, each of the other would react as if they'd been cheated on (although if memory serves me well, Sally's actually kissing other people or pretending to be into someone to make Sonic jealous wasn't treated as badly as Sonic looking in the direction of a love interest, but I digress). And as this relationship started stretching out to 50 and 100 and more issues, I started going from wondering if it would ever be resolved in the runtime (because their relationship drama always seemed to be milked for views, with Sally's character traits often changed on a whim so she would create this drama) to just wishing they'd have the two go for other people or something (and perhaps perserve any love I still had left for a nostalgic childhood ship).
The thing is is that the longer their relationship and "will they won't they" stretches on, the more it just seems like there are no excuses for them not to have started dating officially yet. And honestly? It really isn't even fully Sally's fault that it takes so long for them to get together initially. Why? Well, early on pretty explicitly, Sally makes it clear that she's afraid to push her relationship with Sonic because then *Sonic* gets afraid and sort of runs instinctually away from being tied down. Interesting, right?
Sonic the Hedgehog flirted with Sally Acorn, sure. He even had grudges with characters like Antoine or Geoffrey because they expressed similar feelings for Sally, and acted jealous when anyone threatened to take Sally away from him. In issue 50 of Archie Sonic, Sonic had an all out brawl to the death with the original Robotnik in that comic over him orchestrating Sally's death.
And yet, it doesn't matter what happens. Once Sally's no longer looking at some other guy, he doesn't kiss her or try to get her to date him. He lets things go back to normal on purpose. He succeeds at making her only look at him because he apparently doesn't want others to take her, but then doesn't confess. He saves Sally from a kiss after thinking she died, being sentenced to banishment after being framed for her death, and after fighting their mutual enemy to the death over it, and all he can do when Sally wakes up is play it all off like he doesn't actually like her like that. The romance tropes are shoved in front of his eyes (fairy-tale romance tropes even)!
But the moment he's sure Sally isn't looking at anyone else or that he has her, he immediately makes sure things go back to how they usually are. For the longest time it seems like no big life fearing event or act of jealousy is enough for Sonic to solidify that relationship. And because he has so so so many moments and chances to, moments that other characters in a story snatch up in a heartbeat (especially when they know the feelings are mutual), it's hard not to feel that this is purposeful or means something.
So while reading I proposed the headcanon or possible reading that Sonic is on the AroAce spectrum. More specifically, that he's solidly aroace/grayaroace and is suffering from comphet, or that he's litho. I personally surmise that he cares about Sally Acorn a lot (that was never out of the question), but as they are childhood friends about the same age that can work well together, everyone and themselves assumed that the two of them would naturally end up together. I think the real reason Sonic would get so jealous when Sally kissed someone else early on was because he had it in his head that that was supposed to be them, and was afraid that if anyone else dated Sally then he and Sally wouldn't be able to have as strong/close of a relationship as they do. I think he ran away when Sally would try to confess and make things go back to normal when Sally was okay and only looking at him because he didn't actually want to be in a romantic relationship with her. Essentially, he wanted the security that she'd be around and they'd still be close without actually dating. At the end of the day, even if they both knew their feelings were mutual, Sonic avoided confirming their relationship status for the longest time because he didn't actually want to date her (and I'll be clear right now, the event that finally gets Sonic to date Sally in Archie canon was not only less life endangering than when he thought she was dead, it was very clearly a forced moment where Sonic finally had to make a choice for the sake of the audience. And despite not really indulging in Mina's advances, it says so much that the writers were seriously going to make Sonic choose and then date whichever girl the fans liked more).
And beyond how Sonic himself spent so much time avoiding confession and actually dating Sally, there's also this. He never really presents real romantic affection towards any other female character (in fact, it's largely implied in scenes like Mina kissing him that he didn't feel the same because he was pursuing Sally). He expresses not wanting to marry Sally because he doesn't want to be tied down and stuck as king of the country instead of adventuring. In fact, he has a nasty breakup with Sally after they finally get together because she tries to force him to stop being a freedom fighter and settle down in the castle with her. Once, Tails even asks Sonic why he's not dating any girls, and Sonic expresses to Tails that he can date pretty much any girl he wants out there, but that "girls are too much trouble" and that he'd rather be free and be himself than be tied down (also implying to Tails that he doesn’t really want to be with anyone). When Robotnik is dead and the rebuilding of Mobotropolis begins, Sonic opts in on taking Tails on a worldwide adventure with him to find Ixis Naugus (a journey that told me personally that Archie Sonic was at his happiest when being able to freely explore the world at his own discretion with his little buddy at his side). While this is a small thing also, in the issue centered around he and Sally having a date, they are both late to it (in a way that almost makes you wonder whether it was really an accident).
So, to end this bit. While I think it's clear Archie Sonic cared about Sally a lot and did like having kids, the handling of his relationship with Sally most of the time makes a lot more sense to me if I recontextualize it as Sonic having a strong platonic bond with Sally and dealing both with his comphet/internalized homophobia telling him that they naturally have to get together and that he has romantic feelings and the truth of him not actually wanting to date anyone (or girls at least). That's really why I feel like Archie Sonic could be litho or generally on the aroace spectrum, especially since his stronger more passionate bonds are often with rivals/enemies like Knuckles and Scourge, and how the damsel in distress tropes or the "you and me together forever makes me happy" thing was applied to his relationship and journies with Tails.
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Sonic (IDW):
My actual general headcanon for Sonic’s sexuality is AroAspec but also gay, just because he often shies away from certain advances that certain girls make that he doesn’t mind when guys do it. However, Sonic also to me seems to just have a thing for people who try to kill him. So even though I align him as AroAspec and gay leaning, I do concede that the rival/enemy effect (aka, Sonic just really having a thing with people who have all out brawls with him or genuinely try to kill him) transcends gender. I suppose I could headcanon IDW Sonic as bi but eh. Even though there are female characters I ship idw Sonic with, those relationships are just special to me and don't neatly fit into the romantic category.
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Tails (Archie):
Okay, so in general I headcanon most versions of Tails as bi. I'll get that out of the way first. To me that is a bi fox.
However, Archie is one of the few Sonic properties where I headcanon Tails as gay specifically. Why? I'll tell you
So early on in the beginning of Archie Sonic, the most Tails expresses any strong feelings is when he upholds Sonic as his hero (the same way Amy does when she is introduced). For a little while he's not shown to be interested in any real romance or in any girls romantically. However, there hits a point where it often seems like the writers will go "Ah shit uh. This fox likes girls okay! We promise!", present it in the most forced manner, and then not actually put any real substance into Tails' alleged feelings for said girl. The biggest moment of this though (as all the moments before are really tiny) is when Tails meets the robot copy of Fiona Fox.
Personally, the origins of the Fiona Fox thing always seemed forced to me. From a Doylist perspective, it felt like the writers started the Fiona Fox thing to prove that Tails was a "normal" growing boy who obviously would like girls, naturally. In this case, quite possibly because the fans just wanted Tails to have a girlfriend since Sonic was paired with Sally and Bunnie with Antoine. From a Watsonian perspective, especially with the emphasis on Tails wanting to be treated like a grown up and insisting he's mature, well... Let's just say that what better to prove that you're just as mature as everyone else than by having a fairy-tale romance with a girl fox about your age who is aesthetically pleasing?
No but honestly. Since Tails was a younger character who hadn't expressed any real romantic interest before this (with him putting the most passion into his admiration for Sonic), the Fiona Fox thing felt extremely forced. It was hard to believe that someone who'd never really expressed interest in girls or dating before would suddenly fall madly in love. Plus, after the reveal of his love story being fake and made up, the dramatics kind of shift between Tails going off about his lost innocence and how he can't bear to fight Fiona and loves her so much, to him being...unconcerned with his "broken heart" and more concerned with seeming mature and how he wants to be treated with respect by the freedom fighters. It was hard for me personally to take those stories seriously and seriously believe that Tails was into girls in Archie.
And for Archie Tails, the Fiona thing as far as I remember was the only thing he had going for him romantically. Like Sonic, he put all of his fixation onto the one girl he's narratively supposed to like romantically and didn't show an interest in romance with girls otherwise. In fact, Tails' romance prospects after this don't really come up again until the real Fiona joins the freedom fighters. And while the intent of this is to show "oh, Tails still has feeling even though what he had was fake", here's my reading of Archie Tails (re:the Fiona thing).
Just like with Archie Sonic, I don't actually believe Archie Tails wants to be with girls romantically. I think the robot Fiona thing was (at best) infactuation, and more than likely him playing into the romance angle because of "he was a boy she was a girl can I make it anymore obvious" and wanting to prove that he's as mature as the other freedom fighters and deserves respect reasons. It's also common for gays suffering under comphet to find this one person you can fixate on. Essentially, this person who would make sense to be attracted to, who is objectively attractive, and who you can put on a pedestal and endlessly pursue because they will never date you. Essentially proving you're "normal" by pursing someone who will most likely never like you back, specifically because deep down if they never like you back you never have to get in a relationship with someone. I think that when Fiona returned (organic this time) as this beautiful older girl who other people he knew would objectively describe as "sexy", she was someone he could easily put back up on that pedestal and pursue even while she clearly wasn't interested in him. And with that in mind, even though Sonic's dating of Fiona put a strain on his and Tails' relationship, it always seemed to be that this was not because "Sonic stole his girl". Rather, Tails was more distraught over Sonic breaking "the bro code" and getting together with someone Sonic knew he had a thing for (or allegedly did). Essentially he was more concerned with Sonic breaking his trust or not considering his feelings than he was over someone else getting to have Fiona romantically.
And again, outside of the Fiona thing, pre and post sgw Tails is rarely implied to genuinely have romantic interest in girls. He gets married to Mina in 25 yrs later and has kids with her, but we never get to see the leadup to this, he is never implied to have feelings for Mina in the Prime universe, and when he actually appears in 25 years later to speak it's more of a given that he's married to Mina than he's actually shown having some profound romance with her.
You get me?
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The Tails Variants from Sonic Prime:
They're another exception to my usual "Tails is bi headcanon", largely because I see them on the aroace spectrum and as gay😂
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Amy Rose:
I have sort of conflicting headcanons with her. I both see her as a lesbian who put Sonic on a pedestal as a boy she could chase around and pursue romantically (even though Sonic clearly didn't reciprocate) while having the security that Sonic won't actually agree, and I headcanon her as someone on the AroAce spectrum who is more in love with the concept of love than someone who actually experiences romantic love herself. This is a largely universal headcanon I have for her, and while I can lean more one way or the other depending on the Sonic property, I usually enjoy both of these headcanons.
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Knuckles (Archie):
Every iteration of Knuckles is gay to me. I'll just put that out there. And in Archie Sonic specifically I headcanon him as gay and ace (or on the ace spectrum). This is largely because, well.
To even date a woman, the universe (and Mr. Penders) had to forcibly deliver him one in the form of a soulmate. His early writing of his relationship with his love interest, Julie-Su is often so inconsistent as well that you know he considers her a friend at some point, but his alleged "romantic feelings" feel like they're inherent (like he has to have them because they're Echidna soulmates) and that the interpretation of them being romantic is being pushed onto him. Mr. Penders played the "a boy pulls a girl's pigtails and calls her annoying cause he secretly likes her" card with this relationship, but Knuckles quite literally confides in his father that he doesn’t get why she annoys him and that he gets along so much better with his guy friends. Knuckles even suggests that girls should stick with girls and boys should stick with boys before his father, Locke, gives him a talk that kind of amounts to "sure you could be with guys but of course you as a normal boy would eventually want *more*". And this is also after Knuckles confesses that he doesn’t look at other girls (unsurprising, given that he doesn’t pursue any other girls romantically).
This is all to say that while not only was his romance arc forced and it's often hard to believe he has romantic feelings for her, it's hard not to read how he acts generally and his conversation with his father as him being an allegory for a closeted queer boy who doesn't know that boys can kiss boys. And really, even while Mr. Flynn actually presented Julie-Su and Knuckles' relationship in a way that makes more sense where you can tell they care about each other quite a lot, even Flynn Era just before the sgw feels easier to read Knuckles and Julie-Su as platonic soulmates who've formed a strong partnership.
Also this *is* the Echidna that joked in front of a bully of a gorilla (Monk) that he (Monk) probably loves seeing him in the "groveling position"
But I digress.
Post sgw as well, Knuckles also seems to reject the idea that he's dating or even leading on either Rouge or Relic.
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Rotor the Walrus:
Gay Ace.
Cobar the Echidna, Tommy Turtle, the events in 25 yrs later or him being roommates with Tommy
His lack of romantic interest most of the time
Honestly even his origin story post sgw read to be a bit like an allegory for being disowned for being queer
Must I say any more?
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Bunnie Rabbot:
Bi
I don't have much to say about this other than that she clearly has feelings for Antoine and I always felt she got on with Sally well
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Nicole:
Lesbian
The most she ever really shows interest in guys is when she body swaps with Sally and it's implied she felt feelings for Sonic through this. However, she decides to create a body so she can hang out with Sally (and watches the stars with her). She doesn't present romantic feelings for any guys after that either. Even with Shard, I always got the feeling that they became friends because of their similar situation and their status as ais who obtained free will and "humanity" so to speak, but that Shard had a onesided thing for her while she just considered him a good friend.
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Tangle the Lemur:
Lesbian
I think what solidified this for me is the difference in how she acts when she meets Sonic for the first time vs how unwell she is about Blaze in that same issue when she first meets Blaze. That and both her initial interest in Whisper and how her relationship with Jewel kind of read like a "best friends who are exes" deal when Jewel first became a character.
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Rouge:
AroAcespec
While I do ship her with certain girl characters, she always struck me as the person who likes dressing "sexily" without actually being someone who experiences sexual attraction. Likewise, so much of her flirting reads to me as something she does in service of doing her job or getting things she wants. Especially in IDW, it's more than implied (practically shown) that Rouge is more in love with gems and the master emerald than any one person she flirts with. Honestly, she's the type to end up in situationships
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Lanolin the Sheep:
Jury is out. I have no headcanons right now. So far she just seems entirely uninterested in romance or sex and is more married to her job
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Silver:
Bi
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Blaze:
Also bi
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Sally Acorn:
Pre sgw? Bi
Post sgw? Lesbian
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Elias Acorn:
I take no criticism on this one. Gay.
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Geoffrey St. John:
Bi
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Surge the Tenrec:
Surge to me is gay but like. She's gay in that way that anyone attracted to her is gay, and anyone she's attracted to regardless of gender is always in a gay way. Likes a girl? Gay. Likes a guy? Gay. Likes someone of any gender? Gay
Kinda like with Sonic though I also often read her as on the AroAce spectrum, especially since she seems to have no personal interest in romance. Like at best the most passionate she is is the hate she harbors for Sonic, and whatever she has going on with Kit. So like. AroAspec and gay. That's my final answer
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Kitsunami the Fennec:
Bi
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Vector the Crocodile (Archie):
In all other Sonic media I see him as bi, however
Gay. He tries and fails to prove to Espio that he actually likes women and can get a woman after Espio says he's all bark and no bite. Like sure he takes the service worker lady with him to the event he and the Chaotix were invited to, but he never actually stays with her. He's also one of the two 25 yrs later characters who has a kid but is not married and has no mention of the other biological parent (the other is Lien-da). Literally his son has more charisma and success with picking up girls than him, and Vector doesn't even really seem to like girls (although honestly I'll admit Penders gave *him* more chemistry with Julie-Su than he gave her and Knuckles)
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Lien-Da:
AroAce and also more lesbian leaning
Romance and sex is far from anything she worries about or dabbles in, and at best she uses flirting the way Rouge does (empty flirting to get her way or to mess with people). The only reason I said lesbian leaning is because she seems the type to me to end up in situationships/atypical enemy relationships with women
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Shadow:
I'm always oscillating between gay and just grayaro/gray ace. Depends on my mood
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Robotnik:
Frankly it depends on the adaptation.
Movie!Robotnik I feel is more demi or gray aroace
Sonic X Robotnik is bi to me
Prime universe's Archie Robotnik (this goes for the original and his replacement) is gay while also being on the aroace spectrum to me
But yeah in general Robotnik is on the aroace spectrum and whether I read him as bi or gay depends on the adaptation
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Metal Sonic:
Gay
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Chaos Sonic:
Also gay!
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Shard:
Sorry, but Shard to me likes women the same way Archie Sonic does to me. This is to say, he forms a strong relationship with *one* female character and confuses what they have for romance because comphet. So on the aro/ace spectrum and seems to get into situationships with guys fairly often
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Mina the Mongoose:
Bi!
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King Max Acorn:
Hoho definitely bi
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Locke the Echidna:
I want to say gay but he's like a heavily closeted queer at baseline. His relationship with sexuality is complicated, and while he has been with women before (sexually and romantically), he seems to relate a little to well to Knuckles' plight of not being interested in most girls and thinking guys should just stick with guys. Plus there's that scene where Scourge and Rouge are both surprised that Rouge's flirting and sex appeal isn't really doing anything for Locke.
Like if I had to label him I'd go closeted gay, but I feel like if he ever became comfortable enough to label himself as "not straight" he'd be more comfortable with the term queer or simply "not straight" as a catchall so he can avoid using a usual label
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Mighty:
Gay!! This goes no matter the adaptation
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Ray:
I have no headcanons other than that he does like boys
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Lara-Le:
Bi!
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Julie-Su:
Bi, but I also like to think of her as Demi too
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Lara-Su:
I take no criticism. Bi
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Nic the Weasel:
Gay, man. She and Fiona just had something
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Nack the Weasel:
Gay but also married to his job
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Bean the Duck:
Bi/Pan
The duck is queer
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Bark the Polar Bear:
Bi
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Vanilla the Rabbit:
Bi
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Charmy the Bee (Archie):
In general I don't have a headcanon for him, just because of how he's depicted in idw and the games these days.
But pre sgw Charmy (back when he was depicted as 16) is either gay or bi depending on how I feel. Not super solid on it, I just know he likes boys.
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Fiona the Fox:
I don't take criticism on this one either. Demi Lesbian
I have not once felt that she was genuinely really into a guy romantically. I think she just has a thing for danger and is a sadist in general, and I think she uses both Sonic and Scourge to get her fix for it. But frankly just like Scourge she tends to get bored in the opposite sex, and despite any declaration is liable to split the moment she's in danger. If she has anything for him, it reads as pretty shallow.
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Scourge the Hedgehog:
Gay but like extremely comphet about it. Like he seems to be more fixated on the idea of being desired by women and the idea of desiring women than he actually desires them. There's an issue where he grows bored with all the girls in Anti-Mobius (even Anti-Sally) and decides to find Sonic instead to start a fight so he can be no longer bored. The cover of that issue shows all of those hearts with his name + a girl's name written in the middle, AND a heart where he's written his name + Sonic in the middle. Despite having Fiona at his side, he proclaims he actually wants Prime!Sonic to rule beside him with the two of them as Kings. Like he seems to like the attention and seems to understand what an objectively attractive women looks like, but he's always growing bored with them and partnering up with them only to not really have much substance in a relationship with him. And while I will put the disclaimer that Mr. Flynn did not create Scourge's original character, nor does anything he says push or deny ships for legal reasons, he did once say in a bumblekast episode that in a hypothetical "Scourge Team Racing", Scourge would choose Miles and O'knux as his teammates because he "dislikes them the least".
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Antoine D'coolette:
Bi!
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Antoine's Father:
Bi
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Snively:
Absolutely Bi
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Clutch the Opposom:
Haha
Gay
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Jewel the Beetle:
Lesbian
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Whisper the Wolf:
Not completely sure yet. I think I kind of settle on Arospec but likes girls
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Sonic (Sonic Prime):
I see him on the aromantic spectrum but also like. Gay
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Sonic (StC)
Just straight up gay. At worst he's gay but comphet about it in a similar way to Scourge
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Tikal:
Generally she's a lesbian to me
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Relic:
Bi but also married to her work
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Adam the Ai:
Demi/grayaroace
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Espio:
In general he is always gay to me
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Chuck Thorndyke:
Bi
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Anti-Tails/Miles:
Haha. Gay
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Thanks for the ask, anon! I enjoyed answering this one😊
Like I said, this is by no means a comprehensive list, but I did put down some characters from different Sonic media off the top of my head.
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