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boxwinebaddie · 5 months

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Hello my dear I just wanna say that I am NEVER getting over how awkward and endearing Raven was on the Hate like (Marj voice) BLESS HIS LITTLE HEART our sweet boy oh my god and him meeting Curb was so incredibly perfect just UGH I love him sm

hello, my beautiful computer wife!

listen!!! LIST!!! EN!!! when i said Try Not To Fall in Love with Raven Challenge: Level Impossible i meant that!!! he is SOOOO CUTE

and i am not sure who read it ( or who wants to lmao ) regardless you will all be spared my screaming and i'll drop it under a readmore <333

( edit: i wrote so much i had a lot to say about hate!raven the loml )

i...could talk about offstage!raven for several days, months and hours.

like he is made entirely of boyfriend material and its 100% upcycled.

tbh, the concept of the hate is deeply funny to me because when it happened kyle was so stressed out like uGh!!! this is going to be the WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME like??? Why Me dude?!! ike broflovski, you are So lucky i love you enough to go on this hate with the DEVIL rn...please kill me with so many hammers. :////

and ravenstan was just like aaAAAAA EEEEE KENKENKEN IM GOIN ONA DATEDATEDATEEEEEE<333!! EEE!! :3 laughing smiling kicking his feet oh my goddddd like kyle dreaded it all week and stan was so nervous and Excited. i just Know he gushed all abt kyle to that old farmers market man for like 45 minutes and held up the line <333

also???? not kyle being like wOW I CANT BELIEVE THIS STUPID CELEBRITY ASSHOLE STOOD ME UP WHAT THE FUCK!!! DIE!!!

and it was deadass raven ripping his room up trying to find his airpods like AAAA WHAT THE FUC and just being like fuck im fuckin Late gotta gogogo!!! and just grabbed his stupid gaming headset and did like two shots out the door smh ( stan chronic late disorder smh )

got there almost crashed into a fire hydrant and freaked out, couldn't find parking, paced outside the door for like five minutes like idk idk i cant do this im gonna turn around and then being like n no i can do this u can do this!! ahdklhdsa called kenny bc he was having a stannic attack and almost threw up in the hallway from stress oh my god help

he is.....the luv of my life, truly. i would take multiple bullets 4 staven.

also i know this chapter was kind of chaotic and seems out of left field, but its REALLY important to the plot progression and the char development because up until this point, we have only seen ravenstan in public settings/around lots of people, lots of eyes on him and specifically through the jaded eyes of jersey kyle and his narrow perception of ravens character as a blown up celebrity.

BUT SURPRISE HES ACTUALLY JUST CUTE AND PATHETIC LIKE SKHDKHKSLD he is soft he is an Angel everything makes him cry its so unserious HE LITERALLY LOVES PLANTS SO MUCH i know he was rambling abt suzie and that whole time he was ohhhh god oh god shut up shut up stop talking about that u fucking Idiot!!! AAA

when he said ~scientific~ w/ the finger tip wiggle and his eyes sparkling w excitement i was crying baby!!! at least try and b cool!

meanwhile kyle was just like...uh google...HELP! what do you do when you are on a #hate with your arch nemesis, but he starts being really nice to you??? and looks like a small puppy with very big eyes when he smiles...and gets you a really dorky plant that reminds him of you...and you kind of want to throw up bc hes kInDA cuT e? EWEW

its the way kyle literally had no interest in him when he thought he was an arrogant confident celebrity d-hole but the SECOND he starts displaying stanley marsh boyfail behavior hes like ohhhhh my god....wait what the actual fuck why is he so LAME???? why did he make his finger into a gun and then shoot me and then almost fall and then say sorry and wink ...thats so...why is he kindaaaa...why do i kind of want to......whats hAPPENING TO ME??? HELP???? kILL ME

he got reverse rizzed fml kyle likes em pretty and pierced up and pouty and poetic and little pathetic what can i say...i respect that

okay, i got distracted this got really long??? BUT I WAS WAITING TO WRITE THAT PART WITH CURB BC ITS GONNA BE SOOOO ;-; <3

the way kyle was like haha Stupid hes gonna bite ur hand off!!! and curb was just like immediately in LUV with him and stan was holding him like a baby and singing to him in spanish and curb licked his nose... jersey was FKN shook like IS THERE ANYTHING U CANT DO

also idk if you guys caught curb in rm5 rub his face near the phone just listening to raven talk but...its serious CURB! LOVES! RAVEN!

that man is srsly just a mega fione bad at everything boy rockstar disney prince its his spanish speaking soft boy singer boy siren song... like he sings and all the little plants and animals swoon

...its also working on kyle...allegedly...hes fighting the raven bias dawn spawn allegaytions so hard...alexa play i wont say im in love

live laugh the ravesey hate and raven trying to b cool but accidentally actin a fool bc hes nErvoUs and it...working on kyle...too well tbh.

ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU, RILEY! THANK YOU FOR READING RM6 IN ALL ITS CHAOS AND CRINGE AND SUPPORTING THE DORKY AWKWARD BOY RAVEN AGENDA...HE IS...DOING HIS BEST...RIP.

-uncle nina, boyfail father

#thank you for sending this i love you #i am still feeling not good things about chapter six i feel like it was weird or weirdly recieved i think im just anxious #BUT YALL HAD TO SEE RAVEN NOT DOING HOT BOY THINGS AND ACCIDENTALLY DOING HOTTER BOY THINGS #OR SO SAYS JERSEY KYLE GETTING #RIZZEDBYRAVEN #TALKING ABOUT LOVE AND PLANTS AND RAMBLIN #UR HONOR THEYRE NOT ON A HATE ITS A LOVE #they dont know that but i know that #im sorry if you were attached to Cool Boy Raven #u can call him whatever u want but at the end of the day he is just Boy Fail Stan in tiny sexc skin tight lead singer boy pants #and hes really nervous he really wants it to go well he thinks its going so bad i love him oh my god hes like oh god he hates SUZY OH NO #he HATES me & kyle was like shut up and put my new stupid plant on the windowsill flower boy and was like sIR YES SIR #amazing...style world domination...pathetic puppy dog plant dad anxious punk rock angel ravenstan world domination #but literally bc i have never seen someone exhibit more bottom behavior...im sorry its just true im right argue w ur mom #also evil dictator jersey kyle developing a heart and sweating and the ice around his cold dead heart melting domination BUT! LITREALLY!#BC I LOVE BORED DETACHED ONE NIGHT STAND MANEATING THROWS BOYS OUT ON THE STREET AFTER HE SLEEPS W/ YOU TY U! NEXT! SEXY SUCCUBUS KYLE #legend and icon! take em out like trash new jersey!#but raven is is our eco king so...reduce reuse recycle baby ;)#ANYWAYS! BYE! IM DONE NOW SOMEONE TAKE THE KEYBOARD AWAY FROM ME

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depresseddepot · 2 years

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the way i try so SO hard to gain even a crumb of body neutrality only to then see some shit on twitter that remind me that oh yeah. a distinct portion of the population genuinely believes they are being discriminated against when they have to look at or be within 50 feet of a fat person

#the amount of times ive heard my skinny friends call themselves fat and disgusting to my face without considering the implications #i saw some tweet that just like. had a fat person in the video and ALL of the responses were men making fun of her #like. yes i realize my life would be so much better if i was born with a faster metabolism. thank you for reminding me #yes i realize i am not treated seriously because i am fat #that sort of incredulous look skinny people give you when you have the audacity to sit near them on the bus or ask for directions #like they're shocked you weren't some round thing that was in their sights for 2 seconds to make fun but disappeared #i am trying very hard not to let it get to me but when so many people seem to think the same thing it feels stupid #likei know i dont see people the way allosexuals do but are fat people really so disgusting that they feel like they can say shit like that #its so so frustrating #if i am going to die alone because of my own failings i can learn to accept that #but if i die alone because i can't find anybody that doesn't think fat people are worthless then what is the fucking point lmao #''people irl dont actually think that'' i cant count on 1 hand the amount of skinny people who have lamented about their weight to my face #someone brings in cookies to work and as im eating one someone skinny says ''well. i really don't need the extra calories so ill pass''#someone skinny checking out diet/exercise books because they ''REALLY have to lose some weight''#no they aren't talking about me/to me but how detached from your surroundings do you have to be to shit on yourself for your weight #like. even if i was skinny they're still talking about how gross and ugly they are around kids #''love your body and your self!!!1!!1'' okay then stop calling yourself disgusting regardless of how much you weigh.#you can think if if you want but god that 12 year old girl in line behind you is going to remember that forever #she is going to internalize ''oh okay. thats what a disgusting body looks like''#andthen she'll grow up and hate herself and continue the fucking cycle #just stop. stop talking about your weight around kids. i dont need 60 yo women telling me they're gross when they weigh maybe 150 lbs #i know this is super unhealthy but i literally cannot wait until i can move out and isolate myself from society #because every second i try to engage with it is literal torture #yall are so mean for no reason #i dont really have much to live for #but it would be helpful if skinny people didn't constantly reiterate that there's no point to living if you aren't skinny #im so tired #vent

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lilgynt · 9 months

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moms WILL make sure you cry once a day at least

#personal #i’ve been cleaning my room all day and #that doesn’t effect anything but mid crying i’m just muttering i didn’t do anything bc at this point it’s a comfort mantra for when my #family fucks around with me randomly.#anyway so my mom calls and said she was talking with a friend and i got brought and so did my issues #and she got me these expensive vitamins and im steadily getting sadder/ more annoyed during the call and crying silently #and i saw yes to taking them and she keeps going and i’m like mom i said yes #and she’s like it’s just a conversation and i tell her i’m just upset bc the move for my mental health is #ignoring any issue i bring up then buying me expensive gifts so i can’t talk about said issue #and i was like i want to be clear. this is extremely nice gesture. thank you. thank you very much #and she’s like i can never do anything nice for you #so i’m like maybe we can hold off on nice gifts or treats and focus on communicating or get pass these door issue #and she just went silent like she always does so i just said never mind thank you and we hung up #and now i’m crying in bed feeling utterly alone cause it’s not like i can reach out to either of my brothers #and i feel resentment for ben grow everyday just bc he gets to live his life after doing that to me #and i have to live with the consequences of his actions everyday #and everyone keeps saying their not blaming me for it and then treating me like shit #i m just gonna stop talking to my mom as much for a while i’m not talking to either of my brothers if i can help it but #i just let her slide even tho she’s literally begging me to get back harder with my ed

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ihatebnha · 2 years

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i want to vent for a moment about another trope? (idk if it’s considered one but im going to say it is) in smut that i don’t like. when the reader is giving someone a bj & their throat is basically used as a flesh light. i’ve read fics where i just had to stop in the middle of it bc it made me so uncomfortable, the fic is like “you instinctively started breathing through your mouth while his cock aggressively pushed further down your throat” & im just like … actually i don’t want to be fighting for my life while im giving head, i enjoy breathing like normal :) idk if this is making any sense but i just don’t like how aggressive most bj smuts can be

lmfao this gave me flashbacks to the first "rough deep throat" porno i ever watched... i literally remember being like "oh my god... they're abusing that woman........."

ANYWAY... rolling my eyes (not @ u, anon) because I AGREE and think this is just another way smut gets extremely disconnected from the actual... "nuance" of what it's based on (for lack of a better word lmao).

it's just so, SO... odd to be reading something that starts one way (cute, funny, smutty, WHATEVER)... only for it to become hard smex immediately without any proper... preparation.

and i'd say like... makes you wonder why deep throats are the go to... but actually, i'm not wondering lmfao. i know.

so while ofc there are exceptions and warnings and that's fine and all... often it's just... throwing random deep throating at us because the author thinks its... normal? and tbh, i have to laugh.

although honestly... i also somewhat think it's just because some people just don't know what to say to properly describe or extend their smutty scenarios, either because they've never experienced them or just want to lengthen their descriptions and don’t know how... and that is almost an entirely separate conversation LOOOL

#u see stuff in the tags thats like: 'how the boys like their bjs!' which okay! good!#and then u click read more and its 'bakugo is pulling ur hair so hard its ripping ur scalp and he's calling u a binch and u can't breathe'#LOOOOOL LIKE WHAT?#when i dont know what to say in smut i just dont write it #simple as that #LOL im kidding (not really)#but yea i think people really flounder when it comes to descriptions #and i say that because i do too #its hard to write really detailed smut that sounds good #and esp if you've never ... experienced it #so people are like... how to write bj... ah yes... automatic deep throat...#no no no #anyway #i think ur right but its hard to figure out what the right response is u know?#like should i be... upset i can no longer read this or just feel bad for the author #LOL contributes to everything else we've talked about too how men can exploit this misunderstanding too #but #im not gonna get into it #thank u anon *salute*#ask #anon #caitie chats #sx talk

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elibeeline · 1 year

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Its 'i woke up too early and fell back asleep and had a crazy dream' day 🙃

#two dreams actually! i was still too tired after the first one #where i had moved into a block of flats? in which i had one of my managers share a kitchen with?#and in the magical world of dream land i had a drive thru window #and i dreamt i was working bc i do that too much and then an angry customer comes up and says something angrily #like he's stood in front of this car at the window and i get scared and turn for my mom (because the family all moved into this flat)#and when i do over to her thjs guy at the dining table (dont know who or why he was there) and he grabs my wrist and presses a knife to it #nothing happens injury wise because apparently im more worried about the guy at the window and i just shrug this guy off #and the dream ends when the guy at the window pulls out a gun and starts shooting but i wake up before anyone can get hurt :)#and the second dream! was about a scarecrow #i feel like its an actual movie bc that what the dream told me it was? like we were on the island where they shot the movie #and the scarecrow was still in the water #so we're on this boat ride (one of those touristy ones with a slide) and im hanging on for dear life bc wtf the scarecrow is in the water #and my stepdad had told me there's this really scary scene where he reveals his like. hollow face behind the mask/hood thing #and one fun detail that didn't end up being important is that he's meant to be scared of carved pumpkins?#like there's a border around the island keeping him in the water #and this is a fun detail because my brain only included it bc in between the dreams i checked my notifications #and someone was looking for a pokemon called a pumpkaboo for the next gym and it stuck in my brain bc idk what that was #so ah yes halloween pumpkins and scarecrows in February. thanks brain #but yeah after the boat ride the island floods and allows the scarecrow to come on land #(which was p smart kudos to u scary brain)#and we're all declared as missing bc idk we werent meant to leave the boat place or something when the flood came #and then brain finds all the action boring and skips straight to both my dad and stepdad bringing us back to the flat to mom #where i assume we probably live happily ever after but idk that flat was creepy and felt very unsafe #i do like that brain thought it was necessary to include it in both dreams rather than. yknow. the house we actually live in.#but if anyone wants to analyse those you're more than welcome too hehe ive always found that interesting

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belfryprepz · 2 years

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Soo sleepy retail is sooo evil good night

#price check this shoe check that why don't you check out some bitches-#and then I'm not at work for obvi reasons so it's just me trying to be as cishet as possible #even though everytime i meet a queer customer i wanna be like hiii im one of you here's the gay shoes helloo thank god im not alone here #i can't dress emo at work </3 i wake up and look like a model at american eagle #nobody knows I'm a lesbian nobody knows I'm a lesbian. i feel like my work personality is like.#me as a sad little closeted catholic girl in 5th grade. I'm sweet and accomodating and oh so patient #i kinda miss school like i could dress how i want and i could tell people to fuck off #now it's all 'im sorry ma'am but i can't offer you an additional discount for the missing rhinestone. it's on sale because it is damaged #no i will not call my boss. yes you can speak to my manager. no you can not return sale items. i don't know if it will still be here next #week. it sat there for over 2 years before you picked it up. who's to say? fine I'll put these in separate bags. have a great day.'#PAIN #i never realized how bitter i am #don't ever work retail lordie #a long day and a customer looks at me funny and I'm about to start exploding #belfryprepz

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savicals · 24 days

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[Okay but virgin König that somehow knows exactly how to please you and have you cumming on his huge cock (or his mouth ) in under 15 min… ]

“Fuck!— fuck!” You screamed, gripping the bedsheets in front of you. You’d been on the edge for a few minutes now, thanks to your boyfriend König. For someone who claimed to be a virgin, he knew how to have you calling out his name and cursing like a mantra. He swore he had never been with another person, but god it felt like he already knew every sweet spot you had.

“Is it— it good, Liebe?” He asked, as if he couldn’t tell. His harsh pace slamming into your rear did not let up, and you could hardly answer his question.

“Fuck— yes, god! Please, Don’t stop!”

He heard you. He revelled in how you usually praised him, telling him he’s a good boy that fucks you so well and how he’s making you feel so so good. Constantly.

You could feel yourself teetering over the edge, as well as the fact you could feel your boyfriend’s curious eyes burning a hold through the back of your head, watching for any and every reaction.

“Fuck! König— fuck! Im gonna cum— oh god, oh fuck!! Oh my god!”

“Not— not yet, Liebling…please..” he asked.

Fuck.

What a sweetheart. Was he making you wait for him? He stopped for a second, using it to flip you onto your back so you were facing him. He looked a little shy — like he had something embarrassing to say.

“I want… I want to see you…” he said, through rough pants, as he began his brutal pace again. Your eyes were already rolling back in your head and your body was weak. You could only let out moans and begs, so you just nodded to König and let him use you like the fucktoy you are.

Not long later you could tell he was about to cum as his pace was getting sloppier and his breathing was getting heavier. He was letting out small whimpers and moans too, his eyes focused on you the whole time. You were holding yourself back so as to not cum too early. He asked you to wait, after-all.

“Fuck— Liebe— im… im gonna cum!” He said, his voice cracking.

Thank god.

You could feel his cock throbbing inside of you and it was driving you crazy. What sent you over the edge though, was König pressing his hand down on the bulge in your stomach. Right where his cock was. He didn’t slow down for a second, in fact, he fucked you rough into yours and his orgasm until you were a shaking mess on his bed and he was pinning you down with his muscular body, resting after such an intense fuck.

#I need König RIGHT NEOWW #i want him so bad #könig x y/n #konig cod #konig x reader #konig mw2 #konig call of duty #konig smut #konig x you #könig mw2 #könig cod

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norrizzandpia · 7 months

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Lando’s Biggest Fangirl (LN4)

Summary: It’s his girlfriend. Lando’s biggest fangirl is his girlfriend.

Warnings: language, sexual references???domestic lando 🧡🧡

Note: a filler while im super busy with school IM SORRY I COULDNT GET TO THE OSCAR CAUGHT IMAGINE TN BUT IT WILL HAPPEN TMRW I PROMISE. PROMISE.

y/nnn ass.

Comments:

Ln4andop81 BYE WHAT IS THIS

mclaren slumped

landonorris BABE.

- mclarensgirly idk why but this comment is so cute to me i love bf lando

landonorris everything about this post is so concerning

- y/nnn wdym? I think its perf

- landonorris first of all when did you take that of me and second of all THE CAPTION???

- y/nnn first of all i took it when you were sleeping thats obvi and second of all i like your ass. whats wrong with that?

- landonorris honestly? Nothing

f1fan2 i didnt know i needed this until rn

oscarpiastri your and lando’s relationship scares me sm

- landonorris TF??? WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO YOU.

- y/nnn PASTRY???? I was starting to like you too.

- oscarpiastri y/n i dont think thats the way you talk to someone who has that pic of your bf sweating after getting out of his race car.

- y/nnn oscar. this is not a playful matter. hand. them. over.

- mclarensgirly YO OSCAR LEAK THOSE IM BEGGING YOU

- landonorris WHY ARE PEOPLE TAKING PICS OF ME WITHOUT MY CONSENT.

—

y/nnn finally got that pic from oscar. safe to say my boyfriend’s teammate is in love with him.

Comments:

mclarensgirly THANK YOU FOR DROPPING THIS 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

ln4andop81 YOU ARE A GOD SEND.

landonorris yeah but im in love with you ❤️

- oscarpiastri WDYM “yeah” IM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU????

- y/nnn idk man this pic says something else

- mclarensgirly LANDOSCAR IRL???? AWWWW

- f1fan2 OMG THE SHIP IS SHIPPING 🤭🤭

- oscarpiastri NO.

—

y/nnn FROTHING AT THE MOUTH. CHEWING ON THE WALLS. JUMPING UP AND DOWN. GIGGLING. SMACKING MY FIST AGAINST MY HEAD.

Comments:

landonorris WOW.

landonorris youve out done yourself with this caption

landonorris very vivid image of you absolutely going bonkers

- y/nnn thats the POINT hottie 😉😉

- mclarensgirly y/n calling him hottie lol shes just like us

oscarpiastri i want to block you

danielricciardo sometimes i wonder if ive followed the wrong account and this is just a 16 year old girl’s fan page

- y/nnn 16 year old me wouldve been feeling the same type of way as me now is.

- danielricciardo plz never say that again

- landonorris im so concerned

—

y/nnn awww look at my baby he’s so cute and babygirl 🤭🤭

Comments:

mclarensgirly the versatility of this woman never fails to amaze me

landonorris the eyes never lie, chica

- y/nnn AWWWW CAUSE YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME IN THIS OMFG AWWWWWWWWWWW

- landonorris i can hear your giggling

- y/nnn im not surprised

mclaren our favorite couple (we are so glad we didn’t come across another violent post on your page) 🧡🧡🧡

- y/nnn dw we will be getting back to regular programming shortly <3

- mclaren take the phone away. landonorris

- landonorris im literally on the other side of the world idk how i can do that

—

y/nnn BARK BARK 👹👹👹 GAHDAMN

Comments:

mclaren here we go again…

- y/nnn WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO??? SAY NOTHING??????

- mclaren YES.

- y/nnn WELL THATS NOT AN OPTION.

landonorris well the barking is new!

- y/nnn you say it like youre scared

- landonorris thats cause i am.

oscarpiastri bro

danielricciardo ngl he looks good here

- y/nnn THANK. YOU.

- landonorris thanks dan

- y/nnn SO YOU THANK HIM AND NOT ME????

- landonorris YOU BARKED AT ME.

- y/nnn ITS THE PROPER RESPONSE.

- landonorris NO BABY IT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT.

- f1fan2 their relationship is my roman empire

—

landonorris giving it a try: GAHDAMNNN BABY 🥵

Comments:

mclarensgirly WOWIEEEE SHE DOESNT GET ENOUGH RECOGNITION

F1fan2 she makes me question my sexuality.

Liked by landonorris

ln4andop81 mother of god almighty my jaw is on the floor

mclarensgirly thank you lando for blessing my eyes with this

ln4andop81 SHES SUCH A GREEK GODDESS

y/nnn see i dont like it when you do it 😟

- landonorris are you actually kidding me.

- y/nnn why cant you just leave me to my delusions in peace???

- landonorris bc they arent delusions im literally your boyfriend

- y/nnn YUM SAY IT AGAIN 😩😩😩

- landonorris omfg

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x reader #mclaren #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagines #lando norris edit #lando norris smut #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris #lando norris x you

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astonmartinii · 6 months

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peas in a pod | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!russell!reader

y/n and george russell may be twins, but they’re hardly two peas in a pod and oscar is just there for the ride

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, oscarpiastri and 602,344 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: are you alex’s appendix cause you make me wanna bust 😩

view all comments

user1: excuse me 😀

user2: sometimes i’m like yeah george and y/n are defo twins and then she says shit like this and i’m like they can’t be related

alexalbon: erm what is is ?

yourusername: gosh so other people can use your appendicitis for a seat but i can’t use it to appreciate my boyf - PC gone crazy

alexalbon: the only censorship you’ll need is when my foot is up your ass

yourusername: i’d love to see you try i’ll put you back in the hospital

alexalbon: you say that but when i woke up in hospital you were crying your eyes out begging me to never do that again 🤨

yourusername: i was CHANNELLING GEORGE OBVIOUSLY

oscarpiastri: she cried about it for a good week after alex dw she loves you really

yourusername: TURNCOAT say goodbye to your bedtime privileges

georgerussell63: okay we’ll stop right there, y/n is sorry for joking about your appendicitis alex, and y/n we will not be discussing extracurricular activities with oscar. thank you.

user3: what about the people who want to hear about the extracurriculars? and maybe want to … see them?

yourusername: @oscarpiastri how do you think mclaren would feel about an onlyfans?

oscarpiastri: i think it’ll be a hard no

yourusername: ugh boring

user4: y/n talking about an onlyfans whereas i don’t believe george has even seen a naked woman

oscarpiastri: i love you and your dumb fucking pick up lines

yourusername: what do you mean i’m literally the reincarnation of william shakespeare?

georgerussell63: more like e l james

yourusername: i knew it was you who stole my copy of 50 shades GIVE IT BACK

yourusername: anyhow … i love you too babe x

user5: every comment section we learn new y/n russell lore and it shocks me everytime

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 734,513 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: in this house i guess we celebrate hit tweets? happy one year anniversary to the alpine breakup

view all comments

user6: CAKE SCARED ME FOR A SEC I WON'T LIE

yourusername: i think the technical term is “stunting on these hoes”

oscarpiastri: for pr reasons i will not be agreeing

yourusername: @ otmar HE BROKE I’M UP

oscarpiastri: you’re going to get me into even more trouble than that tweet did

yourusername: blame me and tell them to meet me in the car park, no weapons just fists

oscarpiastri: maybe let’s not

yourusername: you don’t wanna be my sexy ring girl? :(

georgerussell63: one day of not threatening people is all i ask for

yourusername: you weren’t saying that when i beat that year 13 guy’s ass in year ten for picking on you 🤨

georgerussell63: well yes but needs must

oscarpiastri: sorry george i’m siding with y/n she’s not afraid to tell the waiter they got my order wrong

landonorris: and she can square up to the people who won’t leave us alone in clubs

georgerussell63: okay i get it damn

yourusername: SMASH

alexalbon: you can’t let anything be normal can you?

yourusername: since you wanna be in my business… lily is a smash too

alexalbon: excuse me?

yourusername: let it be known if i weren’t already with the love of my life, id steal your girl

lilymunhe: oh wow … umm ☺️😳

alexalbon: OSCAR DO SOMETHING

oscarpiastri: idk bro im focusing on being called the love of y/n’s life

user7: silly season was so boring this year thank the lord we have y/n to cause chaos

georgerussell63: do not encourage her

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 823,410 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: you think i look bad, you should see the other girl. don’t touch men without their consent - and definitely don’t touch my man or you will be dealt with. trust.

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user8: someone leaked the video and omg that girl has hands

user9: she did NAWT hold back omg

oscarpiastri: i love you, thank you for defending my honour

yourusername: i love you too, i’d protect you with my life but don’t get it twisted, i’d throw hands for anyone

oscarpiastri: no but for real i’m very thankful for you standing up for me

user10: why is everyone praising this? all this shows me is that piastri is a pussy that needs his gross girlfriend to stand up for him?

yourusername: i’m going to stop you right there. that girl thought she could touch a man without his consent, and it’s completely out of order. so she was handed the consequences. oscar couldn’t do anything so it fell into my hands. you are the problem, do not talk down to him or other victims in those situations.

georgerussell63: as much as i joke, im glad you and oscar have each other.

yourusername: thank you georgie

oscarpiastri: thanks george, but your sister is the real knight in shining armour here

yourusername: i'll always save you princess 👸

alexalbon: everyone is being very sentimental but YO I KNEW YOU SAID YOU HAD HANDS BUT DAMN

user11: alex spill how brutal was it?

alexalbon: i had a front seat and it was like prime anthony joshua she was NOT playing

yourusername: oh wow that’s a big statement

alexalbon: i don’t wanna sound unprofessional but it was honestly crazy and i am so impressed y/n should really consider combat sports

yourusername: in my defence she just fully turned in on my fist

georgerussell63: okay normal service resumed she's making fun of me again :(

user12: why are we celebrating violence?

user13: people have no respect for the drivers these days, just because you’re in the same club as them does not mean that you’re entitled to harass them ??? you fuck around you’re going to find out… esp when y/n is around LOL

oscarpiastri

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,023,444 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: so a lot has happened. i don't want to give the girl any more attention. i love my girlfriend and i love how much she loves me. cry more.

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user14: OOP HE GAGGED THE HOES

georgerussell63: "cry more" y/n has clearly been rubbing off on you

yourusername: i can assure you i've done much more than just rub off on him

georgerussell63: NO NO STOP RIGHT THERE MISSY

oscarpiastri: to be fair you walked right into that one george

georgerussell63: introducing you two really is the stupidest thing i've ever done

oscarpiastri: first of all, arthur introduced us months before you "introduced us", second of all, this is a lot coming from the guy who cried to me about how i'm so great for your sister and can't wait to have me as a brother-in-law

yourusername: AWWW GEORGIE YOU SOFTIE

georgerussell63: yes i am soft. i love love. sue me gosh.

user15: they are so aesthetically pleasing to my eyes

landonorris: so does like y/n wanna give self defence classes?

yourusername: for a price, soz nothing comes for free in this economy

danielricciardo: please can you do classes? i wanna harness your rabid chihuahua energy

yourusername: i am NOT. a chihuahua take that back daniel

oscarpiastri: she's more like a kangaroo, cute but will steal your dog and beat your ass

yourusername: true, i just wanna put you in my pouch

yourusername: that sounds weird, but i just wanna hold you and never let go

danielricciardo: okay i was just messing around no need to be disgustingly cute

logansargeant: i'm glad you're both okay, but that room service debrief went so hard

oscarpiastri: honestly if i weren't holding an ice pack to my girlfriend's face it would've been top two

yourusername: eh i think it's still top two, nothing is unseating when we were next door to lando shagging and we made it a drinking game 😭

landonorris: WHAT ????

oscarpiastri: no comment

logansargeant: no comment

yourusername: it was drink every time you moaned impressively loud 👍

landonorris: no comment

alexalbon

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 822,304 others

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri, lilymunhe

alexalbon: idc you can never get me to hate her ass if you poke the bear expect to get bitten

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user16: sorry to the galex truthers but y/n and alex are the superior friendship

yourusername: i knew you loved me + and i knew you loved oscar SEND ME THE LAST PIC NEW LOCKSCREEN INCOMING

alexalbon: i've been the personal photographer for both russells for years and i'm only just being appreciated

yourusername: HOLD ON i take just as many of you and lily

alexalbon: well that's easier because we're much easier to photograph

oscarpiastri: WOAH hold your horses pal, call me ugly all you want but one shall not dishonour y/n

alexalbon: okay someone spent the break at the russell house

yourusername: HE'S NOT UGLY YOU POOL NOODLE TAKE IT BACK

alexalbon: damn it's a tough crowd. and on a post literally appreciating you

yourusername: bare minimum

user17: okay the kardashians are over - netflix can we please get a drive to survive spin off about y/n, george, oscar and alex ????

landonorris: lando norris erasure

charles_leclerc: charles leclerc erasure

oscarpiastri: move over twitch quartet, there's a new sheriff in town

landonorris: okay i'm banning y/n from mclaren you've spent too much time with her and now a rookie is bullying me :(

yourusername: he ate you up... i'm so proud

landonorris: is this the environment the russells promote? @georgerussell63

georgerussell63: you're on your own on this one lando i gave up years ago

yourusername: @oscarpiastri i think that's called maximising our joint slay

oscarpiastri: they wish they were us for real

user18: i love watching a black cat gf slowly corrupt her golden retriever bf

yourusername: oscar is like an evil little kitten really

oscarpiastri: and you love it

note: quick one cause i'm in my feelings. enjoy this random oscar cuteness he is an aussie queen (also a friend of mine literally went to the same school as him it's so weird)

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #oscar piastri instagram au #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri x reader

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tiredsadpeach · 1 year

Text

I’m so lost lol

#my friends are mad at me and I don’t fully know why #so tw weight and slight ed mention #so friend A tweeted about how he gained 10 pounds because of depressed binge eating and his psychiatrist prescribed him meds to prevent it #and he felt really weird about it so I replied and was like yeah it does feel kinda weird especially if they didn’t ask/know about his past #relationship with food because that could be very mentally damaging and in the first reply I didn’t include anything calling him fat or #saying that gaining weight was bad or anything like that I just asked if the psychiatrist knew his past relationship with food and he said #yes but they might’ve forgotten and like okay but imo a psychiatrist should be more careful and I believe in questioning the people on charg #of our health yknow? everything seemed fine and then suddenly his boyfriend who is also my friend we’ll call her friend B replies to me and #was just very aggressive implied that I was saying friend A was fat and that gaining weight is bad and acting like I didn’t know binge eatin #is dangerous and because she was aggressive my reply was aggressive and I solidified my point about how the medication could be abused enjoy #but reiterated that I don’t think friend A would do that and that psychiatrists shouldn’t just immediately prescribe something that could #worsen someone’s mental health and I forgot to add in that reply that like you should work through alternatives first before just prescribin #something like that to someone who has an ed like that’s dangerous idc who you think you are and tbh that psychiatrist doesn’t know friend A #as well as us especially friend B because they’re dating so I was kinda just baffled that she was mad at me like what had I done??#and then all she said was that any and all medication could be abused so I just said okay sorry because like obviously you’re not really #seeing my point and I was also at work so I did not have the energy for this and so I tweeted clarifying things and feeling angry and #confused like I never said anything in an attempt to hurt my friends and of course I know that doesn’t mean they weren’t hurt but as far as #I know I never hurt friend A’s feelings so idk why his bf came at me so aggressively and THEN friend B starts subtweeting about me saying #imagine not knowing anything about anything which of course hurt lmao like thanks I only see you as my best friend and you are my fp so I #was irritated and just tweeted im tired of this and logged out for a while but I got curious and looked and in response friend B tweeted #I don’t coddle 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ and so I made a tweet about not knowing wtf I truly did wrong and how my opinion makes me stupid and ended with ju #me since you don’t coddle because tbh I was just pissed like why is me not trusting a psychiatrist turning into this big fucking thing AND #THEN friend A tweets about how subtweeting is immature and it’s better to just apologize and don’t get defensive and I just 😐 so because #that’s how we’re communicating lmao I tweeted about how can I apologize if idk wtf I even did and why am I in trouble for subtweeting when #friend B did the exact same thing!!!!! this whole thing is driving me insane tbh and I’m so so tired of how whenever me and friend B get #in an argument or fight she starts subtweeting/posting about me and honestly has said some things that I still haven’t recovered from lmao #within a week I have been a punching bag for two people I thought loved and cared about me and I just don’t fucking know what to do! l #liek if I had hurt friend A’s feelings please just TELL ME instead of getting all passive aggressive because idk you think you know more #which idk maybe you do but I’m just echoing that I also found it weird! just liek your bf did!! but no I guess when I voice that I’m just #wrong and bad like okay great and now you’re not talking to me and you’ve turned your bf against me so I’m gonna lose two friends most liekl

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awearywritersworld · 7 months

Text

men are so quick to blame the gods

ryomen sukuna x reader summary: your boyfriend is a heavy sleeper, leaving you to form an unlikely relationship with the curse occupying his body during the late hours of the night. w/c: 2.6k tags/warnings: enemies to lovers. angst/fluff. aged up!yuuji. sa is mentioned but it's pretty much just sukuna saying he doesn't condone it. heavy kissing. obvi features yuuji x reader but it's not at all the focus. cursing. sukuna calls you kitten. i'd like to think he's not too ooc in this but im probably delusional. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. no manga spoilers. a/n: am i rehabbing our handsome vicious psychopath? yes<3 loosely inspired by this post (features manga spoilers) of him being v beautiful and poetic series masterlist // masterlist

humans have always irritated the king of curses— pathetic little vermin scurrying around, utterly oblivious to their own weakness.

so it came as quite a shock to him when he awoke after over a millenia, only to find himself trapped inside the body of some teenaged brat.

nearly 7 years later and he's positive there isn't a person he despises more in the universe. not even the cocky six eyes wielder can elicit sukuna's fury the way itadori yuuji so easily does.

that's why he resolved early on to kill his vessel's pretty little girlfriend, an act he hopes might satiate his spite. he's positive nothing would devastate yuuji more.

luckily for you, life has a funny way of working.

you and yuuji are standing at an intersection in the city, the pink-haired man staring at his phone as he tries to piece together the directions to a new sushi restaurant you've been wanting to try.

when the pedestrian sign on the other side of the street blinks, you step out onto the pavement without checking for oncoming traffic.

"what the-" yuuji's confused voice fills your ears just as a rough hand wraps around your wrist, yanking you backward violently.

a car barrels through the spot you'd just been standing, the driver clearly not paying attention to the traffic signal. you look back just in time to see harsh black marks fading from your boyfriend's arm, though the rest of his body has seemingly remained unblemished.

it's an odd sensation for yuuji because he's never lost control to sukuna in such a manner. he doesn't dwell on it long though, as anger blossoms in his chest.

"do not touch her," he scolds the curse occupying his body.

a mouth appears on his cheek and scoffs. "sure. i'll just let her die next time."

"it's okay, yu," you interject before he can retaliate. "thanks, sukuna. i, uh, appreciate it."

he grumbles something incomprehensible, his mouth quickly disappearing. your boyfriend looks at you bemused, but you only shrug. the fact that yuuji had lost control to sukuna doesn't make you feel nervous or threatened. you're grateful that he kept you from being run over, albeit a bit surprised.

as you continue your walk to the the sushi restaurant, you find yourself not quite able to meet yuuji's eye because... well... you haven't exactly been forthright regarding your relationship with the king of curses.

the first night it happens, you're laying in bed eagerly finishing the final volume of a manga you've been reading. yuuji is fast asleep and has been for hours, though you're used to being the night owl in the relationship.

you keep wiping at your eyes, the cheerful ending tugging at your heartstrings and tying the story together in a beautiful way.

"can you stop with your incessant sniveling? this idiot's brain is so rarely quiet and you're ruining it."

you look over to see the eye beneath your boyfriend's is open, staring at you scornfully.

"can you fuck off?" your tone is obviously meant to mock him. "i'm finishing one of my favorite mangas and you're ruining it."

"need i remind you of your place, brat?" he sneers. "it's dreadfully wretched, crying because you don't like the ending to some stupid story."

"since you're so clearly invested, i'll have you know i'm crying because i do like it."

"..and here i thought you couldn't get any more pathetic."

your eye twitches in annoyance. "just because you're mad about being stuck in 'some idiot human's body' doesn't mean you have to go around projecting your feelings of inadequacy onto other people."

you move your hand to cover the mouth on your boyfriend's cheek before sukuna can respond, hissing out in pain just a moment later.

"oh my god, you actually bit me." you inspect the teethmarks on your palm in disbelief.

"just wait until i win control of this body— the punishment you deserve for such insolence. you'd better hope you're miles away, but even then—"

"holy shit, enough already. i'll go to sleep. enjoy your peace and quiet," you growl angrily, flipping off the lamp and turning away from him. for some reason, you still find yourself mumbling, "good night."

sukuna's eye widens before promptly closing, the silence hanging in the air heavily. it's the longest conversation he's had in years and the first casual pleasantry he's heard in a millenia. he tries to feel satisfied that he got what he wanted in the end, before returning to his quiet solitude.

over the next few months, your late nights are graced somewhat frequently by the king of curses. he mainly complains— the friends you hung out with earlier were annoying, the tv's too loud, it took yuuji twenty minutes to exorcise a curse that sukuna could have dealt with in seconds.

it doesn't bother you nearly as much anymore and he's no longer able to get under your skin like he did that first night. it seems as if he's losing his touch, or perhaps he just isn't trying as hard.

it's around one in the morning, a book resting in your lap while your boyfriend snores softly beside you. sukuna's eye pops open, peering over at the text. "you're reading homer?"

your body jerks, startled by his sudden question, but you recover soon thereafter. "yeah, were you two friends or something?"

"no, you fool," he derides. "he lived far before my time."

though you don't comment on it, you find it amusing that your sarcasm had gone over his head. "oh, you're right. how silly of me to think you had friends."

"such profound witticism. i can hardly contain myself."

you sneak a glance over to find he's narrowed his eye at you and you actually giggle. "sorry."

it doesn't dawn on you how bizarre the interaction is, but sukuna abruptly realizes that something feels different. not once before tonight had he made you laugh.

he pushes the thought from his mind. "i did, however, indulge in his works during the heian period."

"really?" you perk up. it's not often you give him your full attention. "what'd you think?"

"i suppose i liked him well enough. one of my favorite lines comes from the poem you're reading."

you motion your hand for him to continue. "well don't be shy. i'm sitting here with bated breath."

he rolls his eye, but speaks nonetheless.

"men are so quick to blame the gods— they say that we devise their misery..." you realize for the first time how gruff his voice is, the deep reverberations sending a shudder down your spine. "but they themselves, in their depravity, design grief greater than the griefs that fate assigns."

his eye flickers between each of yours before you look back to your book, fiddling with the corner of the page. you're suddenly feeling rather shy. "does that mean you think humans are even crueler than you?"

he muses over your question briefly.

"if i recounted how men would flee the villages i burned, leaving their families behind in a selfish attempt to save themselves.. who would you find more revolting?

you swallow nervously. "i.. i don't know."

"what if i told you of the men who would eagerly offer their wives and daughters to me, hoping i'd spare them.. who would you deem more wicked?"

you're so busy avoiding his gaze that you don't see the way he carefully regards you. a question you're unsure you want the answer to tumbles from your lips before you can stop it. "did you accept? the.. the husbands' offers—"

"no," he responds. "i have little interest in unwilling partners."

"oh. well that's, um, good."

he hums in response, leaving you to process everything he's told you.

"you should stop," you blurt out eventually.

"stop what?"

"being nice to me." you wouldn't normally consider discussing literature then reminiscing about the egregious stories of his past life particularly kind, but then again, it is sukuna you're speaking with. "it's weird."

he rolls his eye again. "you're hardly in any position to be giving me orders, you insufferable brat."

"see? that's much better."

"why are you crying?" his tone is even, conveying neither annoyance or concern. truthfully, he has no idea what compelled him to ask in the first place.

you don't answer, hoping he'll leave you alone. you really don't have it in you tonight, even if sukuna's been much more tolerable recently. it's been weeks since you finished reading homer's epic poem.

the moon is already setting and it's just a few days before your date at the sushi restaurant.

when you sniffle again, he calls your name. you don't register that he doesn't say brat or idiot. it's the first time he's used your actual name.

"w-what do you want?"

"i seem to recall asking you a question."

you're laying on your side, facing away from yuuji and by extension, sukuna.

"i'm not crying," you declare.

sukuna briefly wonders why he's stuck dealing with you while yuuji sleeps, but his inward 'annoyance' is half hearted. "you're an awful liar."

you exhale and turn to look at him. the only light in the room is coming from the tv, but it's enough that he can see you clearly. "sometimes.. i can't help but worry about the execution."

yuuji has told you countless times that gojo has a plan, that he won't let anything happen, but you know what the higher ups are capable of.

and while it's down right shameful, you know that much, it's not only your boyfriend you worry about these days. sukuna's become so commonplace in your life, you almost look forward to talking with him at night.

"the thought of losing yuuji... of losing.. you.. it scares me," you murmur.

your words stir up feelings he's never once experienced and it's confusing to him. "i'd have figured you'd at least be pleased to be rid of me."

"well, i-i kind of thought we were friends now," you share without thinking.

"don't flatter yourself."

he regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth and the guilt he feels as he watches your face fall is unbecoming of a being so powerful. you apologize meekly, shifting (too late) to hide your hurt.

he can't remember a moment in which he's hated being trapped in his vessel's god forsaken body more. he wants to reach out to you, even if the idea feels entirely foreign to him.

but he can't, so he just sighs. "if you think i'm going to let a few feebleminded sorcerers execute me and the brat, you're even more foolish than i thought."

you peer at him, the smallest smile gracing your lips when you realize that's probably as close to an apology as sukuna would ever get.

"promise?"

for fuck's sake. he feels utterly pathetic. completely deplorable. laughable, even—

"yes," he states impassively. "now go to sleep."

"okay." your smile is just a little wider as your fingertips brush the spot below his eye and above his mouth. you wonder if he can even feel it. "good night, sukuna."

"...night, brat."

less than a week after sukuna saves your life at the intersection, yuuji kisses you goodbye as he heads out to a mission. he assures you he'll be early tonight, as he only has to exorcise a semi-grade one cursed spirit in roppongi.

though things don't go quite as planned because in addition to the semi-grade, he finds himself standing before two special grades. he manages to defeat one of the special grades, but the other two leave him badly hurt, his breathing labored.

he has to beg sukuna to switch out with him. the king of curses hasn't forgotten his promise to you and he's no fool— it's clear this is an ambush by the higher ups— but he'll be damned if he wasn't going to have a little fun with the brat first.

he makes quick work of the curses, each of them going rigid with fear as soon as he appears, and it soon becomes apparent that yuuji is too weakened to take back control of his body just yet.

at last, sukuna has his long yearned for freedom and a new world at his fingertips, but there's just one problem... all he wants to do is find you.

when the lock to your apartment clicks, your eyes shift to the door, an excited grin on your face. you can't hide your shock when it isn't your boyfriend that steps inside.

you don't say anything at first, simply following his frame across the room as he approaches you. he leans against the wall a few feet away from where you're sitting on the couch, folding his arms across his chest.

"seems your concerns about the execution weren't unwarranted."

"w-what?!" you exclaim, rising to your feet and taking a step toward him. "what happened?"

he relays the story to you, emphasizing how 'unimpressive' yuuji's power was and how 'terribly simple' it was for him to finish the job his vessel couldn't.

you narrow your eyes at him, only half joking when you ask, "what are you doing here, then? shouldn't you be off pillaging tokyo or something?"

he chuckles. "such a dark mind you have. it wounds me to hear you assume the worst of me."

you bite your lip to hide your smile. "just figured it'd save time."

he closes the space between you and though you can feel the heat radiating from his body, you don't shy away from him. instead, your eyes trail over the dark lines adorning his face and chest.

he reaches up and your breath catches in your throat when the back of his fingers ghost over your neck. his nails graze your skin and a sly smirk forms on his face. "aren't you frightened? it'd be all too easy to kill a little thing like you."

"but you won't."

he can't tell if your assuredness pisses him off, but it certainly makes his heart rate pick up. his hand now occupies the space where your neck meets your shoulder, his touch surprisingly gentle. "what has you so convinced?"

"well you saved me, didn't you? and.. and you kept your promise."

he hums in response and your hand seems to act of its own accord when it reaches up to rest atop his. any lingering sense of amusement is gone in an instant, the air now fraught with tension.

"so why are you here, sukuna?" you murmur.

the king of curses has never known goodness. he's wrought untold destruction and misery, his name inspiring fear even after millenia. he's a legend— a god, even— yet here you are staring up at him and he swears the look in your eyes is almost tender.

"i don't know."

"and you had the nerve to call me an awful liar."

you know you're taking a risk when you lean up and press your lips to his. he freezes for a moment before his mouth begins to move against yours tentatively. his arm stays at his side, so you grab his hand, moving it to your waist.

it's as if that flips a switch in sukuna. he backs you up against the wall somewhat roughly and you can feel him smile against your lips when you let out a squeak of surprise.

he uses the opportunity to take your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging at it before moving to your neck with the intention of leaving a trail of marks across your delicate flesh.

you know you should care, but you just can't bring yourself to tell him to stop. you're too preoccupied with the feeling. he revels in the little gasps he's pulling from your throat, in the way you grab weakly at his biceps.

"you are divine, kitten," he growls. "been waiting so long to touch you."

just as he finishes speaking, he pulls back a few inches and his body stiffens.

"damn it. not now, you stupid brat—"

the words die in his throat as the black lines begin to fade and you're met with the perplexed face of your boyfriend. he breaths out your name, clearly worried. "what.. what happened?"

#m!writes #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna imagines #sukuna fluff #ryomen sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna imagines #ryomen sukuna fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #jjk fluff

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