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#that always resonated with me. what might seem small to you might not seem small to others
laylajeffany · 3 days
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Not an ask, but, I'm currently about 2/3 of the way through Chaos for the Fly, and it is truly one of the greatest things I've ever read. It has made me laugh, cry, and every emotion in between. I have spent the whole time learning alongside Wednesday to love and care for myself. You've expressed out loud feelings of my autism and anxiety that I never could before, I've never read panic attacks more accurately written, and simultaneously you've taught me how to begin coping with them. The way you so vividly separate the voices of different characters, the way you describe every emotion so perfectly that leaves me feeling like I'm right there in the moment. The depth that you add to all the canon characters without taking away from their original personalities, the way all of your OC's fit so perfectly into the story, every single one of them mattering, not a single line, character or scene is unnecessary. I long for family like Josie and Emi, but in a way, just reading about them makes me feel they're talking to and teaching ME. Somehow on top of all that you wrote one of the most beautiful and realistic slow burn romances, It never feels rushed, no intimate touch or comment feels out of place, and yet you're constantly hoping for more. Then, once they are finally together they continue to have a beautiful and ever evolving dynamic, which is where a lot of other authors fall short in my eyes. The way you show Wednesday's comfort level with every character not just Enid, combines with her autism and uniquely affects each individual dynamic shows such and intimate level of understanding, it's so incredibly impressive. I think you may have ruined season 2 for me when it does eventually come out, simply because even with Jenna Ortega as a producer, it could never be as good as what you've written. and so I thank you. Thank you for writing this beautiful, spiritual, mental, and emotional journey. I hope for nothing more than that you keep continuing this story beyond chaos for the fly because I don't think I'll ever be ready for your writing to be over.
Thank you so much for this!! Slow-burn on a realistic timeline, organic character development and a meaningful portrayal of emotional struggle in a hyper-fantastic setting are my passion. I’m glad it’s resonated with you! Writing OCs is always a gamble but people really seemed to resonate Josie and Emiliana for certain (as well as others but I hear about them the most). I’ve ruined S2 for myself, truthfully and if Gwendoline Christie really isn’t in it, I’m not sure if T. Martel and I will even be watching lmfao. (This entire fic started in a parking lot at the mall when she was lamenting about needing Larissa Weems to live and I mumbled, “I guess I could write something.” HAHAHAHAHAHA.)
The good news is that I’m still playing around in this universe, I’m almost 50k into chapter one of the sequel and I think that it might actually end up being longer than I anticipated originally (just like the other fic I’m working on goddamn it I did try to make new year’s resolutions about this but it seems like I’m breaking them). I don’t think anyone is going to be mad about it! 
Thanks for reading and for letting me know how it’s impacted you! Happy to have helped in some small way. 
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xiaoriae · 6 months
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TERMS OF ENDEARMENT.
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pairing. neuvillette & wriothesley x gn!reader (separate) ★ genre. established relationship au & fluff. ★ wc. 1.2k
synopsis. calling out the fontaine men by their pet names!
contents. pet names (reader's: dear, darling, etc.), lovestruck neuvillette :( , may contain an inaccurate description of the melusine's tail bcs i'm dumb, a really minimal spoiler from the 4.0 archon quest (regarding hydro dragon and rain) in neuvillette's, mention of sedene (the melusine outside neuvie's office), neuvillette just wants his kith >:( , wriothesley might be ooc bcs we all love him despite not knowing him yet, mentions of sigewinne in wrio's, made-up [1] fontaine law and background setting, and an assumption of sigewinne is the one who often treats wrio's injuries(?).
a/n. first, idk who to pull for; either neuvi or wrio bcs i alr have hydro and cryo dps :cries: but srsly, the v4.1 trailer has me on my knees for these two men (in a respectful manner of course).
support banner and animated line dividers by @/cafekitsune on tumblr.
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ִ ࣪𖤐 𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄
neuvillete would never admit it out loud.
how you left him in awe every time he heard you calling out for his attention—monsieur neuvillette in a formal setting, but instead referring him as neuvie when in private.
something about it had always made neuvillette's chest just a little bit tightened at the way the name rolled off your tongue oh-so-eloquently, and he often found himself staring at your lips a second longer than what everyone would consider as appropriate.
oh, how he would love to peck your lips, feeling them against his, even for a brief moment.
it was an embarrassing thought sitting at the little corner of his mind. he was ashamed at how easily you had him on your mercy.
"neuvie," your voice came out a tad bit softer after seeing him spacing out—in which was totally not a norm to see him staring far ahead and at you, though not until recently.
"are you alright, love?"
he swore he felt his heart dropped. it was a double kill to him, who recently figured out that he loved you more than he initially thought he would. how endearing of you to call him with such names, it was cute. a perfect adjective to describe you.
"nothing, dear," his voice resonated through the room, and you realised how he looked at the perfect weather illuminating his office through the window.
you looked at him back, skeptical as to why the corner of his mouth seemed to form a fine curve, but you shrugged the feeling as soon as it came. maybe he was happy, considering the sunny and chilly weather outside.
and his feeling mattered to you the most.
"monsieur neuvillette," you called him out again.
this time, neuvillette could barely hide the frown that was about to form on his face. why did you call him that? why the sudden change of attitude? he was confused. especially when he felt the soft touches on his hair.
you were patting his head, occasionally fixing his hair as neuvillette slightly leaned in to feel the warmth only you could exude.
"it is about time for today's trial, chief justice. lady furina must have been waiting for you at the opera house," you gently reminded him, feeling the way his shoulders tensed.
oh—how stupid of him, he thought. he finally understood why you called him by his title, there was sedene all along at the door.
the melusine looked at both of you in amusement, he could tell by the way her tail was wagging.
"another minute, dear?" his voice was low enough, seemingly to avoid the melusine's attention as he sighed.
you beamed a small smile at him, making neuvillette felt ten times heavier to let go of you and go to the court. "no, neuvie," you rubbed soft circles at the back of his hand, and neuvillette fought the urge to intertwine his finger with yours.
he fought the urge to kiss you on your lips—his name sounded so precious coming out from you. it actually pained his heart at how irreplaceable you were in his life. 
"after the court session is over, we can cuddle all we want, yeah?" you pecked his cheek, and neuvillette thought he could die happily if this was the treatment he would get—a reward worth billions of mora if this was what you gave him from cherishing and loving you.
and he would love to hear and love you forever.
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ִ ࣪𖤐 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘
inside the fortress of meropide, the only person that could make wriothesley's burdens felt lighter was you, and only you. to see that you enjoyed your time being here—although the fortress was everything except fun and colours—and sometimes helped sigewinne with her infirmary stuff, he felt a part of him was proud at how kind and brave you were. 
wriothesley loved looking at you teasing and babying sigewinne. it was another trait that made him clicked with you so well—despite his profession and the countless dangers he might have brought along.
he remembered the first time you insisted to tag along with him to the infamous underwater prison. no one could enter and exit the fortress whenever they wanted, and you managed to prove him wrong. now that your reputation was well-known within the area, it seemed that the law on permitting outsiders to get into the fortress with thorough screening process didn't really seem to be applicable to you.
every garde recognised you. every staff and people and melusine alike—all had acknowledged you in their work space.
so when you introduced yourself as wriothesley's other half, it was understandable that your name made it in the headlines and became the monthly issue from the steambird.
'after all, the duke doesn't really seem to be the lover type, isn't he?'
"hi, handsome," you waved at wriothesley, who seemed to just finish with an interrogation session with one of the criminals. a stack of papers was in his grip.
his eyes widened at the way you called him with that word which often failed to not make his heart thumped against his chest.
"good evening, darling," he scoffed when he felt the way his voice almost cracked. the random terms of endearment you threw at him had always made his actions cut short and his words to be stuck in his throat. "what are you doing here? did i not say to go back home at 5? it is late."
"mhm," you hummed.
pointing at the clipboard in your right hand which wriothesley had realised was there all along, you explained yourself. "was running an errand for sigewinne. the poor nurse had some troubles so i lent a hand or two," you said while tapping wriothesley's shoulder thrice, feeling proud of yourself for contributing a cent around the fortress.
you then involuntarily fixed his tie, still giving him the proud smile you often wore.
wriothesley sent you a soft smile at that, contradicting the multitude of scars littered across his body.
of course his favourite person was the one who was kind enough to help sigewinne—it was as if you silently repaid sigewinne's past deeds of treating his injuries. how could anyone would not love you for that, he thought.
your heart swelled at the sight. your partner was quite soft at heart when he smiled, despite the roughness he portrayed.
you were staring at his face with those sparkles he never knew could exist in one's eyes. it was too much, but wriothesley thought he would just mentally appreciate the pure loving look you gave him.
"this will do. now my man looks dashing as always."
it took him exactly three seconds to understand what you meant. you were fixing his appearance, and he felt his face became a little bit warmer. my man, he unconsciously repeated the words in his mind.
if sigewinne saw the two of you being so lovey dovey in public—well, maybe both of you were done for.
"the gesture is very much appreciated, darling," he chuckled.
"you are very welcome, sir," you replied, mimicking the small chuckles he sent towards you.
"since both of us have already worked overtime, let us grab a bite?" you swung your arm around his, interlocking with the arm that often held you with such gentleness.
"alright," wriothesley gave in to your suggestion, long forgotten where he should be heading before crossing his path with you. "let us go on a date."
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pac-pac-attack · 2 months
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Pick a Card: The First Impressions of You
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Hello! Welcome to my first Pick a Card post! I had a lot of fun with this one. This one is based off of the general impressions people get from you, including your physical characteristics and your mannerisms. Though I will say, it seems like I got some interference from those who know you beyond mere acquaintances. But!!! It's possible that these are either merely assumptions or that some of your energies bleed through.
WELP. Please sit with your intuition for a bit and then pick an image! Remember to only take what resonates with you and that this is just for fun!
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Pile 1 ➹ Pile 2 ➹
Pile 3 ➹ Pile 4 ➹
(And maybe even leave a reply or something for more details pls. I wanna get better at this! (;w; ))
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Pile One
King of Pentacles, King of Wands Reversed, The Emperor, Seven of Swords Reversed, Seven of Cups
Right away, without diving too deep into the cards, it seems that the first thing people assume about you is that you're very affluent in something, particularly in material things. Maybe something about you appears wealthy or comfortable. Perhaps your appearance has a very warm or earthy feel to it, maybe even shiny. Do you wear any elegant jewelry or something similar? If so, it must look pretty good on you! You might also appear a bit strict or conservative. It doesn't have to be conservative in the terms of political matters, but you do give off an air of appreciation of order and structure, perhaps even implementing it.
You seem confident and it's very well-earned! You appear to have experience, knowledge, skills, definitely suited to be a leader. However, you also appear to be arrogant as well. Perhaps you have a resting-bitch-face? Hell, you look like The Man to some folks, which could cause inner conflict on whether or not they could come to you for help or advice.
At the same time, you appear honest. Maybe too honest at times or brutally honest, but if someone wants to hear something straight, they'll come to you and take your word for it. It seems like most people, with your direct tone and what-not, believe a lot of what you say, even if they don't like hearing it. Whether or not they'll follow it is another thing, but I bet most of time, due to your perceived authority and experience, they will.
However, there could also be assumptions that your affluent appearance is actually a facade meant for others or yourself. I suppose that also ties in with the perceived arrogance as well. With all of that combined, I can see that there are assumptions that you are small-minded or narrow-minded. You dream big and have aspirations, but do you actually see the bigger picture or the finer details? Do you allow clarity or do you prefer living in fantasy instead?
Whether or not this is true may be hard to tell. You can always check out PACs that deal with such shadows or you could even use divination yourself! But er, not right after reading this. I can't imagine that you would be happy with what you've read so far.
Oh, and one more thing. You got that MILF/DILF energy. Actually you have both of those at once.
Possible physical characteristics: very sharp and prominent eyebrows, dark eyes, angular features, tall, large, curvaceous, high contrast in color, tan.
Archetypes I'm reminded of: The Man (again lol), CEO, hashtag girlboss, the strict teacher/mentor who used to be a badass, the battle-hardened veteran, the mean student who's also a valedictorian (particularly those cool nerds in anime, if you've ever seen any)
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Pile Two
Three of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Queen of Cups Reversed, Eight of Wands, Ten of Swords, Two of Cups Reversed, The Hermit
If you're wondering why the first two cards are bolded, it's because they are the most prominent aspects about you. Perhaps also part of the few positive aspects. Buckle in, Pile Two. This is not gonna be particularly amazing nor is it lighthearted. (´。_。`)
I was expecting that pile two would be very much unlike pile one and I was right! Rather than appearing ambitious right away, you look like you desperately want and need a break. And that must be why I see the Hermit here- you're overwhelmed and in pain and could do without the extra energy socializing brings. Since it's not reversed, it seems like you've been handling this isolation well and in just the right amounts!
Okay, starting off with the most prominent energies, The Three of Pentacles and the Ace of Cups, you must've completed a particular journey and are reaping the benefits! With that, you are ready to begin a new one related to your mental and emotional health. A few of you might even have started to date someone? I wish you all the best! But I bet for most of you, you're simply on your way through healing and have made a lot of progress. And that progress has earned you the skills to better handle your emotions and cope with them when they get overwhelming.
Now with the rest. Which is not looking very pretty, I must say.
There is apparent conflict, inwardly and outwardly. You might've fought with someone or dealt with too much tension from them. You might've even had to end things. For most of you, it doesn't seem to be a straightforward victim/abuser type of situation as you've also struggled with your own negative traits and how to handle them. But harking back to the prominent cards and the Hermit, it seems like you've also done some shadow work to help grow as a person! In fact, I bet for some of you, it helped you realize some negative patterns in your relationship(s) and that's why they have ended or changed. It reminds me of Lapis Lazuli and Jasper in Steven Universe (and if you haven't seen it or finished it, I think you ought to! I seriously bet you will enjoy it! :D)
You've also gotten busy too, not just in self development but also in other things. Which goes against the whole “not looking ambitious” part I've mentioned earlier. You're a busy bee right now, Pile Two, and it must be because of all the changes happening around! Seeing that makes me feel very happy for ya! And other folks must be happy for you too! But like me, they also want you to take care of yourself too, to not neglect your wants and needs. But with the introspection and emotional growth that has occurred, something tells me that is not as likely as believed.
But keep in mind! Progress is not linear, especially in the context of mental health. But every time you fall, take the time to heal and take care of yourself, and get back up again! And keep doing the shadow work, dear! You got this!
Oh, and uh, sorry this went from assumptions about you to just straight up. This. Djdhdhd!! Well, whether or not it's actually true, it's what people apparently see. So take what you will. :3 By the way, going from the Queen of Cups reversed to the bolded cards, it appears to be a story to me. Perhaps the bolded cards are the current energies you give off now after a journey through the other ones. Hmmmm.
Possible physical characteristics: large eyes, low contrast, cooler colors, rosy cheeks, angular body shape, effeminate (regardless of gender)
Archetypes I'm reminded of: Chiron, widow/widower, single parent, the movie Wolf Children (also recommend), a somber yet former damsel in distress
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Pile Three
Knight of Wands, Three of Wands Reversed, The Fool, Knight of Cups Reversed, Five of Wands Reversed, Strength
Hehe I knew I'd get something energetic here! This pile has heavy wand energy, despite the fact that two out of three are reversed. People see you as someone who is intent on making everyone, including yourself, laugh out loud, even if that means making a fool out of yourself. You are very childlike, very extroverted, probably dress in loud colors as well? Everything about you screams wild child. You know, that hyperactive kid who gets into everything and comes home all dirty but super happy and cheerful. And people just can't stay mad at you!
Unfortunately, you are also childish. Rather than work, you just wanna play! Why stay inside and work on taxes or chores when you could be hanging out with your buds or attending a mixer? Why stick to mototony when life has so much more to offer?
I'm also seeing you as the type to wear your heart on your sleeve. Which at times is endearing, but not until something inconveniences you. I cannot think of any other words, but I'm hearing “tantrums” a lot. Yeah, people tend to see you as a large child, a person who has yet to grow up. Despite that, you are very intent on pleasing everyone, which probably makes the previous statement hard to hear. Instead of dealing with conflict, you'd rather maintain peace and crack jokes, keep the mood light instead of letting it be heavy.
And yet, with Strength, you are very compassionate and calm at times. Your childlike nature isn't a weakness for you! And when it's one-on-one, you can be very kind, always willing to lend a shoulder to whoever asks. You seem to see the good in everyone, even in those who are seen as a villain or a completely toxic person. Such a trait might appear naive to others, and having such a big heart and trying to keep everyone smiling must be tiring for you too, but you're still willing to do it anyways. Maybe you have unrealistic expectations in others sometimes, and in yourself and in situations, but even then, you're willing to see a silver lining in everything to keep going.
I get the feeling that people tend to want to protect you, since you just seem so youthful. Especially those who you've comforted or have defended.
Also. ADHD? Mayhaps?
Physical characteristics you might have: freckles, short/curly hair, large smiling eyes, dimples, crooked or pronounced teeth, a runner's build, androgynous
Archetypes I'm reminded of: wild child, the fun substitute teacher, a lighthearted comedian, jester, the friendly popular student, cheerleader/jock, himbo
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Pile Four
King of Pentacles, Hierophant, Ten of Pentacles, Three of Swords Reversed, Seven of Wands, Queen of Swords, Three of Cups
Wow, so a lot like Pile One in that you appear rich and orderly, but also, very traditional.
You seem to come from a big family and a big religious background, especially one that's intertwined. With the Three of Swords and the Three of Cups, you might've dealt with some stress in that type of background but are doing better now and have wonderful friends. If you're still a part of said background but have no stress, it could be that this feels like home for you. Maybe for some, you remain close while still doing your own thing, but there are no hard feelings now.
You might be very analytical, almost to point of obsession and over thinking. I can see that especially in those who had a stressful upbringing regarding tradition and spirituality in large communities. You question everything, including your own beliefs, again and again, making sure that you can be 100% certain.
You can also be defiant, especially to those who challenge your beliefs. Some of you may have those who criticize you for staying in your community. Some of you, it's for leaving or changing your views. But either way, they just don't see what you have now, including the wonderful people who you have with you.
I can also see you prefer sticking to routine. You might be a very nostalgic person, appreciating tradition and history.
I'm not getting a lot, so you might be either a very muted, quiet person or people just can't get a good read on you.
Possible physical characteristics: long/straight hair, low contrast, cool colors, tall, upturned eyes
Archetypes I'm reminded of: the polite and quiet neighbor next door, the soft spoken yet popular priest, the librarian, the scientist, the secluded wizard
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ravens-two · 1 month
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PAC: Your First Fight With Your Person
This reading includes:
your first fight with your person
how and why this fight happens
The extended reading includes:
what happens after this fight
how this affects your relationship moving forward
Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone.
TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC
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Pile 1
Light On - Maggie Rogers
"Crying in the bathroom/ Had to figure it out/ With everyone around me saying/ you should be so happy now" 
Moon, Tower, Fool
Pile 1 your first fight with your person seems like it's going to be big one. I actually get the feeling that in this relationship you two don't really fight, even minor and harmless things. This feels like the type of couple that are always like "oh we don't fight we solve all our issues before it comes to that". Sometimes the problem with that is that the communication isn't as good as we think it is and small, but important things go unsaid. 
This really feels like one person really blowing up at the other. There are two different scenarios here: on one this fight happens because one of you tries to start a fight because of some other issue, on the other it feels more like there were little things that one of you tried to dismiss but couldn't thus triggering the fight. 
For the people in the first scenario I think that this fight happens for reasons outside of your relationship. It's going to be different for everyone and for some you might be the one starting the fight, while for others it will be your partner. No matter what the person that starts this fight is going through something very difficult to deal with. This could be problems with work, family, money or mental health. Because this person doesn't really know how to deal with these problems they become combative (in general though not just with their partner) and try to pick fights with other people because they're angry and frustrated. In the end, this is very much an ego thing. For the people in this scenario this fight will affect your relationship not because of what's being discussed, but more because of this person's behavior.
For the second scenario I'm seeing that you're probably going to be the one that starts the fight, but it's because you can't handle the way your person has been treating you anymore. I see a lot of gaslighting here, so it might be that you tried to talk about some issues in the past and your person tried to make you believe that they weren't really issues or that you were unreasonable for wanting to enforce boundaries. I think that you may believe them for a while, but then all of a sudden you get clarity and realize that your person is the one who is actually in the wrong and you kind of blow up on them. You might decide to suddenly confront your person and you won't allow yourself to be gaslight anymore.
In general, the reason for this fight happening seems to be because one or both of you want more freedom. You might feel that your person is controlling or trying to control you and you feel a bit suffocated in the relationship (or the other way around).
No matter the scenario these fights feel very aggressive (not violent though, but there's definitely screaming here). Also with the song that came up for your pile this fight might be particularly hard for you because on the surface this relationship seemed so perfect, but this fight will make you see a whole other side to your person that isn't that great.
Check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 2
Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac
"Would you stay if she promised you heaven?/ will you ever win?"
Four of Pentacles, Death, Queen of Cups
Pile 2, this fight happens because you have become attached to something. It could be that it's caused by one of you having unreasonable expectations of the other or because there's a change that's hard to accept. Like for the previous pile, there are different scenarios here. For some people this fight is going to be about trying to hold on to something that needs to change as I'd already said. This could be a lot of different things. For some of you it may be related to a certain expectation of your partner (or vice-versa) that they can't fulfill. For example, in earlier stages of your relationship you might have had a date night every week, but due to some changes (with schedules for example) your partner can't make it anymore. Even though you know it's not really their fault you're still frustrated with them and the situation and it's what causes this argument. There's a big need here to allow things to change and move forward.
When it comes to a partner having unreasonable expectations it could be related to what I've already said in the sense that it was something that happened before, but now it can't happen for whatever reason. Or it could be that one of you has idealized the other, or simply has certain expectations of the other that can't be fulfilled. Just because it's not realistic for you and your person, and for your circumstances. Again, there's this sense of frustration here at the situation that causes the argument.
For some of you this is related to money. It could be that you're having some money problems and it's straining your relationship. You might disagree with the way your partner spends their money or you might feel that they're not doing enough (no matter if it's actually true or not). For others it's because you feel that your partner is stingy with money or that they don't want to invest in you. This makes you feel as though you're not as important to your partner as you should be. This conflict is caused by that feeling of feeling like you're not considered as priority to your person.
Unlike pile 1 this fight doesn't seem aggressive at all. I actually think that it's going to be quite civil in a way. It's like you're arguing but you're still keeping your voice down and trying to stay calm even if it's hard. Although I do think that this fight is very emotional for both of you and you might need to take some time away from each other to calm down. This might be very triggering for some of you, but you'll both do your best to actually communicate what you're feeling and what has hurt you. I also think that this first fight is going to happen at home, it might be triggered by a conversation that you're having while hanging out.
Check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 3
Heaven is Here - Florence + the Machine
"I went to the water, drank every drop/ I''ll turn your sea to a desert"
Knight of Cups, Nine of Swords, Knight of Wands
Hey pile 3, this is the most clear-cut pile so far. While the two previous piles had various possible scenarios going on, this really feels like it's all about jealousy and insecurity. It's always going to be different for everyone of course, but I feel like here the problem is that your person did/does something that makes you feel insecure in the relationship. It may be that they have an habit of flirting with everyone, or it could be something completely harmless and unintentional. For some of you it happens because you may have been going through a rougher moment when it comes to your self-esteem and you may think that your partner isn't interested in you anymore. It could be that they make a comment about how nice or good-looking someone is and you take it as them being interested in that person.
For some this happens because your partner used to be a playboy/playgirl and you feel like they'll eventually just want to go back to their old ways and that you'll never be good enough for them. For a smaller part of you I feel like the jealousy is warranted because your partner might really be toeing the line of cheating and staying faithful.
The common thread here though, is that a certain action from your partner makes you jealous and makes you feel insecure (in yourself and your relationship). This really is the big reason for this fight. As to how it happens I think that this isn't immediate. I feel like you'll stew in these feelings for a bit - trying to ignore these feelings and just progessively feeling worse. I really think that this situation will make you feel really anxious and probably it might mess with your self-esteem too. Then, I feel that for most of you your partner will try asking what's wrong, trying to understand what happened, but you keep shutting them down until eventually you decide to let it all out.
The argument itself feels like it's going to be very emotional for you - I see some of you crying - but not so much for your partner. Most of them won't really understand where this is coming from and they're more caught off guard than anything else. For most of you I also think that this is going to happen while you're in the car. It may happen somewhere else of course, but I really get this feeling of being a confined space where you can't get away from your person.
Check out the extended reading on patreon
Pile 4
Someone New - Hozier
"Cause God knows I fall in love just a little, oh, a little bit/ Every day with someone new"
World, Knight of Pentacles, High Priestess
Pile 4 this honestly feels like the tamest fight out of all of the piles. This honestly has such a lighthearted vibe that it almost feels like you're in the middle of arguing and your person will say like "I can't believe you'd do such a thing" in a really dramatic way and you'll burst out laughing. Like it really feels like your fight almost happens in waves, like first you're sad or frustrated and you're telling them as much and the next you're laughing and the tension has dissipated. 
I also feel that this argument might happen over the phone. The people in this pile might be in a long distance relationship or you or your person might have travelled when this fight happens. So, this will probably happen while you're FaceTiming or something like that. I also see the video or image freezing and that making you guys frustrated but at the same time it makes it funnier, because one you will be like "we can't even argue in peace" or smt like that. It seems that you two have a really good sense of humor.
Honestly I don't think that there's any really strong reason for this fight, or it will be something that's completely different for everyone. Some possibilities that I see is that you're missing your person (or vice-versa) and you're frustrated at the distance and maybe the reason why you're distant in the first place. You might also argue about one of you working too much and not having enough time to spend together. For some of you I think that you'll argue just because you're a bit bored and you want to spice things up. For others it's just because you want to make your person mad so that they will take it out on you 😏
In general though, this fight doesn't really seem serious. It's like you both know that this doesn't change anything and if there really was a problem you would talk about it in a more mature way. Again, I think that you two have a really good sense of humor and that really helps too.
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angry-tarot · 8 days
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a message from your pain
talking about suffering is hard, but ultimately necessary. welcome to this pac, I am here to shed light on your wounds in ways that are helpful. by the way, sorry if the artwork is triggering, I tried to find the perfect ones that really encapsulate what deep pain and despair feel like, but the messages might be more soothing than the pics lol.
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welcome to your reading ! just wanted to say thanks in advance for stopping by 🫡
Pile one 🖤
You're putting your sword down. Confrontation is a no no for you, isn't it? You rather die than pick up a fight again. You swallow your words, your boundaries are non existent, you're constantly on edge and anxious. Hear me out, pile one. When you're putting your sword down, you're not actually putting it down. You're shoving it right in your own stomach. I'm not telling you to become angry and start fighting everyone around you. But if you keep quiet, taking it all in, you're going to become sick. You want to keep the peace, but not your peace. You want to keep yourself small, not bothersome, for these people's comfort. If talking to the people around you is so conflict inducing, why bother having these people around at all? If your boundaries aren't heard or even allowed to be set, why bother having these people around you AT ALL? If you must live with them, consider moving somewhere more peaceful, like a family member. Take action if your words aren't welcomed. Leave. Remove yourself. Stop taking in poison, because the longer you do, the longer the healing will take. You're already feeling awful. Your suffering exist because you feel obligated to be around people who hurt you and demand you to be silent. Set yourself free. And don't try to talk to them about it. You will have to unpack all of this on your own, or with other people who will understand and hear you. Process everything you buried deep within you by journaling, speaking out loud, punching a pillow. Just let it all out. Short them you will have to slowly heal from all this crystalized, internalized abuse. Long term, recognize this pattern: whenever you feel the need to be quiet to not bother someone else, leave, and never go back to the people who did this to you.
Pile two 🖤
Oh, your pile actually resonates with the pic you chosen. I see an artist, a creative or someone who does something out of the norm. You could even be a witch, like me. The thing is, you have internalized a lot of criticism, and no longer feel as passionate as you did before. You want to create and be who you were before, but you lost your drive and motivation. It seems a lot of conflict used to exist or still exists because of your hobby, career or spirituality, and you felt like it lost the point. You could've tried to prove something to these people, you could've tried to argue, and nothing worked. Even your own progress wasn't matching to your expectations. So what if they were right? Your spark died, but now that you have worked so hard, it's hard to let go. It became your personality, it used to be your comfort, but now there's only a shadow of what it used to be. I'm not going to tell you whether you keep going or not, this is your decision. But you can regain the spark if you want to. But try to protect it better this time, whatever it is that you do. Hide it, if it is possible. Avoid taking about it to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. And go backwards. Reconnect with it, by understanding what made you so fascinated and entranced by it in the beginning. Maybe, that vision is no longer appealing, and if so, create another one. Restart from scratch, but have a vision, just like you did in the beginning. Say to yourself you are committed to falling in love again with your craft, if that's what you choose. If not, it's always ok to let it go. You can always find another something to be passionate about.
Pile three 🖤
Someone taught you that money was the only thing in life. That it defined your worth and value as a person. That nothing else was as important. That your safety was defined by the amount of money you had, from a young age or a very vulnerable period in your life. So your mind attached to the idea that if you didn't had money, you were in mortal danger, you were worthless and a nobody. Your relationship with money, regardless of how much you have or not, is distorted. You could be stable and still feel like it's not enough, or you could be just starting in adulthood and feeling very scared of the future. Money is important, yes. But it's exactly this fear, this pressure, this feeling like your life depends on it, it's paralyzing you, it's traumatizing and deeply agonizing. What will help you is basically lots of cbt. Ever heard of catastrophizing? Cognitive distortions? These could be playing a large role on your mindset and consequently, the amount of money you're able to make. These tools of cbt can help you relax and see things a bit more rationally. Since it's personal to each of you, I cannot fix your fears, but I can give you some of my tools for you to fix them yourself.
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coffee-430 · 2 years
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The Royal Harem (Smut)
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Synopsis: You have been working hard constantly every single day, finding ways on how to improve your nation. Your attention was solely upon the needs of your Kingdom, to the point where you have forgotten the needs of your own harem.
Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Thoma, Childe
Warnings: sub!genshin, dom!reader, handjob, blowjob, reader has a cock, anal penetration, licking/sucking, use of toys, overstimulation, cum swallowing, belly bulge
Note: This is my first ever post here in Tumblr. So I hope I didn't disappoint anyone reading this story too much. Also, the reader is gender-neutral.
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Although, you do have secretaries to help you with the load of paperwork— but somehow, they, too, were just as busy as you. You couldn't really complain either, since you're literally the sovereign of your very big Kingdom, and doing some paperwork was just the bare minimum.
You heaved out a sigh. The papers on your table never seem to stop itself from piling even more anytime soon.
However it was tiring, nonetheless. And you were getting bored of it. But as you know, you would do anything to keep your Kingdom thrive and be evermore prosperous than it already was.
"The perks of ruling a Kingdom," Dryly, you humoured yourself. Your eyes boredly stared at the piles of documents right in front of you.
A knock resonated from the door and a soft sound of a woman could be heard behind it.
"Your majesty, I have brought you the backlog of papers from last week."
"Come in."
The door opened and revealed Ganyu holding a few stacks of papers. She smiled softly at the sight of you as she walked towards your table.
"Miss Jean wanted to finish them for you, but unfortunately it requires the monarch's attention."
"I see. That's no problem, put them here please."
She did what she was told and carefully placed them down. You thanked her and Ganyu gave you a small curtsy. But as she lays her eyes on your desk, concern swallows her whole.
"You've been working for quite a long while now, shouldn't you take a break, your majesty?"
You look up from your paper and meet her gaze, "Don't fret, I'm fine. They're just papers anyway. I'm already used to this."
"But I fear you might be burning yourself out." The female adepti argued, "You always nag me whenever I overwork myself into taking a break..."
Your (e/c) eyes look up at her expectantly, "And you claim how the tables have turned?"
Ganyu let out a small laugh, pink hue faintly dusted her cheeks as she nodded. You playfully scoff and lightly push your chair back.
"Alright alright," You say, raising your hands in defeat. "I'll perhaps rest for a bit. I wouldn't dare to push my lady's worry and have her dwell on my health."
She blushed at your statement, "O-Oh, a wise choice, your majesty." And quickly bowed before leaving.
Deciding that was it for the day, you stood up from your seat and almost fell. You have been sitting for a long while that your legs fell asleep.
And the moment you decided to use them— you began to cringe at the prickling sensation in your legs. A small groan came out of you as you furrowed your eyebrows at the uncomfortable feeling.
You should have at least got out of your seat for some time while you had work. This simply could've been prevented.
But it's not like you won't do it again anyway. After all, you don't think you'll remember to at least move your legs while you work.
Walking to your bed chambers was tiring. Every time you get to think of the thought of laying on your bed— you would feel your legs on the verge of collapse.
But the bustling noises in your palace would always snap you back to reality, preventing you from further indulging your thoughts of your bed.
Softly, you sighed, as you set your eyes upon the familiar engravings of your chambers' doors.
However, due to your tired state, you have failed to notice the lack of guards who were supposed to be near your doors.
You jog a little, feeling excited to finally run into sleep's arms.
"Ah, bed. I can't wait to embrace you."
You sang as you opened the doors.
But you halted as the feeling of surprise swallowed you whole as the room was filled with silence.
"—!"
There, inside your room, were 5 men wearing nothing but their underwear and white satin robes.
Their eyes widened, they looked like a deer in the headlights. But then relaxed once they realized it was just the person they were waiting for.
Your mouth hung open. You weren't certainly expecting this. (E/c) eyes scanned each man inside the room.
There was Diluc, Zhongli, Childe, Thoma, and Kaeya.
"..."
You then began to break the silence, "What on Teyvat is going here?"
They snapped back from their shock at the sound of your voice. And Kaeya was the first to approach you. His signature smile appeared on his face.
"Your majesty," He bowed, "What perfect timing you have. We were just about to give you a little surprise."
Childe then approaches you next with a wide smile, "But you arrived a bit too early though. Well, no matter. Since their majesty is here, we shall give them our surprise."
"Hope we're not bothering you, your majesty." Thoma smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
You stared at them, unsure. What was going with them? You didn't recall having a rendezvous with any of your concubines. Seeing the confused look on your face, Zhongli decided to explain themselves.
"We've noticed that you've been awfully busy and you no longer spend any time with us anymore. So we decided, if you don't come to us, then we'll come to you."
"Of course, not all of us had agreed to share you and your time, but we know their majesty doesn't like it whenever we don't get along with the others." Diluc added, having a look of displeasure and his red eyes glared at Kaeya— who just merely shot him with an unaffected smile.
Oh right...
You have been so focused on your Kingdom's needs that you forgot to tend to your lovers and now they planned to have you to them right now.
Honestly, you were surprised that they managed to agree to share you— albeit reluctantly.
"So..." You began, "In conclusion, all of you missed me and now you're all needy."
Childe and Kaeya gave you a close-eyed smile. While Diluc blushed and looked away, Zhongli timidly nodded his head, and Thoma let out a nervous chuckle.
"I see..."
It was then you closed your door and took a step forward. Your eyes stared at all of them and a smirk appeared on your features.
Seeing your usual dominating behaviour, all of them visibly shivered in your presence.
"Then, shall we begin?"
---
And now here you are.
Currently, you are lying on your bed. Your hand was holding Diluc steadily as you thrust your cock inside him. The red head had his eyes rolled back and his back arched whenever your cock would hit that spot. His nails dug into your thighs, gritting his teeth at the euphoric sensation inside him.
"Ah ah ah—!"
He bounced shamelessly on top of you. Becoming undone as he came for the umpteenth time.
And Thoma was sitting on your face, being absolutely ruined by your skillful mouth. His grip on his ass was so tight— his knuckles turned white. He rolled his hips when he felt your tongue fucked his insides.
You would groan and moan, whenever you felt your hand brush on the red head's stomach— feeling a bulge on it whenever you roughly thrust inside him, your vibrations adding more to Thomas's delight.
"Ah— F-Fuck~"
Filthy sounds— ranging from pornographic moans, whimpers, grunts, groans, to the sinful sounds of skin slapping and soft gasps filled the room. And you're quite lucky there were no guards standing beside your doors.
Your dominant hand was working on Zhongli's needy hole, said man was whimpering and would often let out a small squeak whenever your long fingers would hit his sweet spot as you ravaged his insides. Truth be told that he lost count of how many times he came just by your fingers alone.
Childe and Kaeya, on the other hand, were the loudest. They had a double end toy phallus inside their holes and both moved at a simultaneous pace. Moaning loudly as they felt the urge to come again. Their eyes watched at how you ruined your other concubines. Their dicks hardened and tips wetted at the thought of their turn with you.
All of them looked liked sex starved prostitutes in a brothel.
Pleasure shook the entire room like an earthquake and it seemed like it wasn't going to stop any time soon.
"A—Ah, c-cumming!"
"Y-Your m-majesty~!"
Thoma and Diluc came simultaneously, and both were at the verge of passing out. With your adept skills, you were able to maneuver them both off of you and you gently lay them down on your large bed.
They both lie down tiredly and their eyes begin to close due to exhaustion.
Zhongli saw you were done playing with the pyro welding men and went to crawl towards you— You happily accepted him with open arms.
You lay down on the bed and have the brunet on top of you. He steadied himself before slowly inserting your cock into his hole.
As the tip went in— Zhongli swore he had seen stars blurring his vision and he let out the most filthy sound once you were fully inside him.
"Mnhm~" He cried softly.
"Are you alright there, love?" You asked. Feeling a bit of pride swells up in you as you smirk at the sight of the trembling almighty Geo dragon on top of you.
He nodded with a red blushing face, beginning to roll his hips— with you letting out a soft sigh at his actions.
Your hands were on his waist, keeping him steady while trying to make you both cum.
"Oh, yes~ Just like that, keep going..."
You let out a groan and the man riding you could help but arch his back at your sound. He did what he was told, he rode you like there was no tomorrow.
And once you felt like he was slowing down, you took matters into your own hands. You lift him up a bit before slamming your cock inside him hard.
"AH~!!"
A loud sound of euphoria left the dragon's lips and his eyes almost rolled all the way back of his head.
He came almost instantly. Squirting all over on you, the bed sheets, and on himself. Tears formed on his face and his mouth drooled at pleasurable sensation.
But you weren't done with him just yet. You repeated your actions, slamming hard inside over and over again overstimulating the poor man.
Trying to catch your high and which you eventually did. You painted his walls white as Zhongli came again together with you.
Both of you panted. Zhongli— despite being a dragon— fell off of you due to exhaustion but you managed to catch him and lay him properly onto the bed.
You smiled softly and kissed his forehead before averting your attention towards the two remaining men— who were still waiting for you.
"Your m-majesty~" Kaeya sang, giving you a sultry look when you met his gaze. You sat at the edge of your bed. Gesturing for the two to come closer.
And they did. Crawling towards you with such whorish looks— abandoning their toy as they did so.
Kaeya reached to you first and he immediately went to kiss you on your lips. His kisses were hungry like and you had to push him gently to prevent him from making you lie on your back.
Both your tongues danced in an unknown rhythm but you both made it work.
And while you two were trying to fight for dominance— Childe had happily dived his mouth down on your cock, he didn't give any warning and just went straight to devour your huge dick inside his pretty little mouth.
The ginger head's action caught you off guard and it made you collapse down onto the bed on your bed. Kaeya chuckled at you and proceeded to pleasure your upper half with his mouth.
He sucked and licked your nipple as he toyed with the other with his hand. You moaned softly and grunted, your hands went to play with their hairs as your concubines gave you a mewl sound of appreciation.
"Ah, C-Childe.....c-cummi—"
You didn't even finish your sentence when Childe took you in deep down his throat and you felt him going deeper, you came. You arched your back, bucking your hips and hitting the back of his throat making the ginger head almost gag at your movement.
"Mmmh~"
The bluenette hummed, feeling you tremble while you reached your climax. Gently, he grazed your nipple with his teeth, teasing you as it added more pleasure onto your body.
Childe pulled away from your cock and tried to swallow your load. He spilled some a bit but he was satisfied with the taste of you.
"Mmh... Your majesty taste so divine~ I want more~"
He spoke with lust evident in his voice, beginning to lick the cum that spilled on your dick.
"Childe— Ah!"
"Now, that's not fair. You should give some of your attention to me too, your majesty~"
Kaeya pouted, feeling jealous when it wasn't him you're focusing on. He then went lower to where the ginger-nette was and he, too, began to lick your spilled cum.
You panted, as you looked down. You almost came at the sight of your two concubines going down on you. Oh how you loved it when they worship your cock, as they have worshipped you as their King.
Childe smiled at the sight of you. You pulled him by the arm with gentle care, and you had him on top of you.
"I've been waiting for this." Said the man on top with an eager tone. He personally slammed your cock inside him earning a small hiss from you and a lewd mewl from him.
The harbinger sang lewd sounds, as he bounced with harsh movements on you.
"Oh f-fuck—!"
He came when he felt you hit his prostate. But that didn't stop him, planning to overstimulate himself to see how far he can go.
Meanwhile, Kaeya made himself busy with your mouth. Your free hand was stroking his cock and that made him moan in your kiss.
Your hand movement synced with Childe's pace. Feeling the blue haired man shiver at the pleasurable feeling down his lower half.
He came as the other did— again— and the former started to move on his own accord, using your hand as if it was a fleshlight
Kaeya, knowing he'll be next soon, pulled away from your lips and moved on to your neck next, then on to the rest of your body. Biting, sucking, and nibbling the places that he knew would make you shiver.
He sat up, smirking at his masterpiece. Seeing you littered with all his love marks makes him swell up with pride.
"Ah!"
The ginger-nette came again for the umpteenth time and almost fell on you when you quickly held him before removing him off you.
He was panting, out of breath, lying there tired and contented with the cum that was inside him and was dripping down his thighs.
You move a stray hair off his face before placing a soft kiss on his cheek, bidding him sweet dreams.
Then, you turned to face the last of your lovers.
"Your turn." You grinned, your breath slightly ragged due to the 'activities' you've been doing.
Kaeya giggled, "Finally." Before lying down on his back, a blush was visible on his face. He wrapped his arms around you and captured your lips with his in a feverish kiss.
You pulled away from him and went to place your kisses on his neck— inserting yourself inside him as you did so.
A soft gasp left his lips when he felt you inside him, he released once he realized how big you were. You chuckled seeing him tremble, his embrace on you was tight but slowly went loose when he finished his high.
"M-Move...please..."
"Very well."
You smiled and did what you were told. Your pace started slow but it increased once the bluenette requested you to move faster.
"Hah— hah..."
"Ngh~"
You hit his prostate over and over again, making Kaeya see stars in his vision. He cried out in pleasure, his nails dug the skin of your back— slightly drawing a bit of blood.
He was close again, you could tell, by how he clenched tightly around you. You sighed blissfully at the feeling and you, too, were almost at your limit.
"Your majesty! I-I'm cumm—"
"I k-know. Hah... Me t-too..."
You pounded him for awhile, before finally releasing all your pent up seed inside your favourite pirate looking lover. You came together with him and his entire body shook.
His embrace around you was gone and instead his hands were gripping the sheets tightly.
Both of you were out of breath, but Kaeya was beginning to pass out. You stayed inside him for a bit, making sure he was getting the most of his climax and when he finally showed signs of subsiding, you carefully pulled yourself out of him.
Sweat lingered on all your skins'. You saw the bluenette smiling at you before succumbing to the sweet hold of sleep.
You looked at the rest of your concubines and noticed that all of them were now asleep.
You chuckled to yourself. Ah, one of the perks of ruling a Kingdom: was to take care of your harem with equal care and love.
You stood up, albeit your stance was wobbly and you were slightly dizzy. You playfully scoffed, they did a toll on you. And you proceeded to cover them all up with a large blanket.
Though, usually you would not prefer to let them sleep on a cum/drool stained bed, but there's nothing you can do about it now. You'll just have to make it up till next time.
Sighing, you mentally made a reminder to yourself: When in tending to the needs of your Kingdom, never ever forget the needs of your own harem.
Otherwise, you might never be able to get out of bed.
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jiihu · 9 months
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𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋 — 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫
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﹅ summary — struggling to afford your ever-growing bills, you decide to take up the offer of a woman you met in a café. however, she has one rule; don't fall in love.
﹅ content — sugarmommy!minjeong, age difference, angst
﹅ word count — 3.3k
﹅ a/n — this was supposed to be based off of the song ‘hundred dollar bill’ by lana, but honestly i lost the plot
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it was 4 am and you were leaving minjeong's penthouse, your hood pulled up around your head to hide the many crimson marks she'd left littered across your neck and chest. your fingers tightly clutched the laptop that minjeong gifted to you during your first official meeting.
"education is important, sweetheart. take it. it's the least i can do."
minjeong always gave you pricey gifts under the guise of it being the 'least' she could do. coming from a background that was wildly different than hers, it took a while for you to get used to expensive things being the least.
as you stepped out into the quiet, dimly lit street, the cool early morning air sent a shiver down your spine. the weight of the thick, black coat you wore reminded you of the generosity of the woman you had just left behind. minjeong, with her elegant demeanor and enigmatic smile, had captivated you from the moment you met her.
you groaned, rubbing your temples as you looked at the email you received, your semester's tuition due already. "it feels like i just paid this yesterday," you mumbled, your eyes glaring at your phone as if it'd make the payment disappear.
you stood up with a sigh, leaving your bag at the table to place your order at the counter. "just a small tea and milk bread, please." the cashier nodded, pushing buttons on the register before reaching a hand out for your card. you passed it to him, silently praying that there was enough left on your card.
"ma'am? it says your payment was declined." you winced at the volume of his voice, your eyes darting around to see if anyone heard.
"i'll pay for her." you looked up to see a woman with shoulder-length brown hair standing behind you, a soft smile on her face.
"no, it's okay," you turned to the cashier, "i don't want anything." before he could respond, she stepped in front of you, holding out her card. you looked down and saw her passing him a sleek, black credit card and your breath hitched. how much money does this woman have?
"careful. it's hot." her words brought you out of your trance as she passed you your tea, her fingers brushing against yours as you took it. you reached out for your bread, but she'd already turned away and made a beeline to a booth in the back of the store. you hesitantly followed her, hoping that this wasn’t some sort of elaborate scam.
"sorry, this might seem odd, but i overheard what you said earlier. about your tuition." your heart started pounding, suddenly feeling embarrassed about a stranger knowing about your financial issues. "i understand if you're uncomfortable with my intrusion," she continued, her voice gentle and reassuring. "but i couldn't help but notice, and i'd like to offer you a helping hand. no strings attached."
you cautiously took a seat across from her, curiosity mingling with skepticism in your mind. "why would you want to help me?" you asked, unable to hide the hint of suspicion in your voice.
the woman's eyes softened, and she leaned forward slightly. "because i've been there," she replied, her voice laced with empathy. "i know how overwhelming it can be to face financial burdens, especially when it seems like they keep piling up. i've experienced my fair share of struggles, and now that i'm in a more stable position, i believe in paying it forward."
her words resonated with you, your heart fluttering at the idea of no longer having to struggle with money. "thank you," you finally said, genuine gratitude evident in your tone. "but how can i repay you?"
"think of it as a way for me to repay you for your passion for higher education. is that okay?"
you nodded, your heart fluttering as you took in the sight of minjeong. despite being in a dimly lit café, her beauty only seemed to intensify, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of nervousness as she held eye contact with you. the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, intertwining with the hint of minjeong's intoxicating perfume.
conversation continued between you two, minjeong asking about your expectations, and what you wished to gain from this arrangement.
"of course, i don't mind paying for your education. that's what i'm here for, right?"
from that moment on, minjeong had been helping you with not only tuition but also your rent, although you'd basically already moved in with her at this point. her penthouse was filled with your things, from paintings and vases with colorful flowers to clothes scattered around the rooms.
minjeong didn't mind, and in fact, told you how much she loved that you'd practically made the place yours. before you settled in, minjeong's place almost looked deserted, with barely any decoration adorning the walls.
you unlocked your car, collapsed against the seat, and turned on the heat. the instant warmth that enveloped you was a drastic change from the almost half an hour you'd have to wait for heat in your old car. the day after you picked up minjeong to see a movie, she already had a new car waiting for you with a red bow on top in the carport.
"i couldn't let you drive around in that. you deserve something better."
before you could leave, your phone buzzed and you looked down to see a message from minjeong.
'did you leave yet'
you furrowed your eyebrows, your thumbs hovering over the keyboard.
'no'
'is everything okay?'
she didn't respond for a few more minutes and you started to get worried, and shut off the car, prepared to go check on her before your phone buzzed again.
'yeah'
'can you come back up'
"i just left," you mumbled, your eyes starting to feel heavy reminded you of how early in the morning it was.
'minjeong?'
you watched the message bubbles appear and disappear repeatedly until she eventually sent the message.
'i can't sleep without you'
you smiled, your heart fluttering at the thought of minjeong still thinking about you, even after you left. you caught yourself smiling and quickly dropped it. you'd realize sometimes that you're thinking too fondly of her, occasionally smiling to yourself when she plagues your thoughts, which seems like it's on an everyday basis these days.
you jogged back towards the building, speed-walking through the lobby and back to the elevator. you punched in the penthouse button, scanning the card that minjeong gave you as the elevator started its ascent.
once you reached the top level, the doors could barely even open before you saw minjeong appear on the other side. she was standing in an oversized shirt and shorts with a pout on her face before she grabbed your arm, pulling you inside.
"sorry about that. i should've just asked you to stay instead of waiting," she mumbled.
you couldn't help but feel a mixture of amusement and affection at minjeong's pouting expression. her slightly disheveled appearance only made her more endearing in your eyes. you shook your head, trying to suppress the smile tugging at your lips.
"it's alright, minjeong. i don't mind coming back at all," you reassured her, your voice soft. "i'm happy to be here with you."
minjeong's pout faded, replaced by a soft smile that quickly faded into an indescribable expression. she didn't respond and instead led you further into the penthouse, her hand still holding onto your arm as if you'd turn around and leave any moment. the air was filled with a sense of familiarity, the scent of her perfume mixed with your own wafting around the rooms.
as you settled into the comfortable bedroom, minjeong gestured for you to sit on the bed while she headed into the closet. "i'll get you a change of clothes, hold on."
you nodded and watched as minjeong disappeared into the closet. the room seemed strangely quiet, and a wave of unease washed over you. you couldn't help but wonder why minjeong's expression had shifted so suddenly. had you done something wrong?
lost in your thoughts, you absentmindedly toyed with the hem of your coat, your mind replaying the moments you had spent with minjeong. the intimacy you shared, the way she made you feel special, and the genuine affection that seemed to bloom between you—it all felt too good to be true. you found yourself longing for more from her, even if you didn't want to admit it.
moments later, minjeong returned with a fresh set of clothes for you. she handed them to you without a word, her eyes avoiding direct contact. you felt a pang of anxiety in your chest, the weight of the silence becoming almost unbearable.
"i hope these will fit," she finally spoke, her voice lacking its usual warmth. "you can change in the bathroom."
confused and slightly worried, you took the clothes from her, carefully making your way to the bathroom. as you closed the door behind you, you leaned against it, trying to steady your racing thoughts. something was definitely wrong, and you couldn't shake off the feeling that something bad was going to happened.
slowly, you changed out of your clothes, the unfamiliar tension in the room making even the simplest tasks feel heavy. when you emerged from the bathroom, dressed in the fresh clothes minjeong had provided, you found her sitting on the edge of the bed, her gaze fixed on a distant point.
"minjeong, what's going on?" you asked softly, your voice tinged with concern. "you seem… upset."
she let out a sigh, her shoulders slumping. finally, she met your gaze, and the vulnerability in her eyes made your heart ache. "i think we need to talk," she said, her voice laced with sadness.
a sense of dread settled in the pit of your stomach. you slowly approached her, sitting down next to her on the bed. "talk about what?"
she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out, her jaw visibly clenching. "actually, can we talk in the morning? i'm really tired right now."
"minjeong."
"please," she looked at you, almost pathetically, her eyes pleading with you to drop it. you sighed, walking around her room to tuck yourself into the right side of the bed. you felt the bed dip as she laid on the other side, feeling her eyes on the back of your head before she pushed her arm under your head, her other hand coming to rest on your torso.
"i'm sorry," you barely heard, her voice not even an octave above a faint whisper.
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you woke up the next morning to no sign of minjeong. not even the faint smell of her perfume lingered in the air.
"minjeong?" you called out, sitting up from the bed and looking through the doorway to the kitchen, hoping you'd see her there. you stood up, walked out of the bedroom, and looked all over the house for her, your heart pounding once you realized you'd looked everywhere.
you sat down on the couch, your hands slightly shaking as you laid your head against the arm of the couch. "fuck, she probably knows."
"i know what what?"
you jumped up, startled at the sudden sound of a voice. "minjeong? when'd you get here?"
you turned around to see minjeong standing by the entrance of the living room, her eyes filled with concern as she observed your distressed state. relief washed over you at the sight of her, the worry in your heart beginning to subside.
"i've been here the whole time," she replied softly, stepping closer to you. "i heard you calling my name. everything alright?"
you let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding and walked toward her, your steps cautious but filled with a mix of relief and confusion. "i… i thought you were gone. i couldn't find you anywhere," you explained, your voice wavering slightly.
minjeong's expression softened, and she reached out to gently cup your face with her hands. "i'm sorry. i didn't mean to worry you," she said sincerely, her thumbs brushing against your cheeks. "i needed some time to gather my thoughts, and i didn't want to burden you."
a mix of emotions flooded through you—relief, understanding, and a touch of lingering unease. you leaned into her touch, feeling the warmth of her hands against your skin. "i'm glad you're okay. but minjeong, please remember that i'm here for you. you can talk to me," you reassured her, your voice filled with genuine care.
minjeong's eyes softened, gratitude evident in her gaze. "thank you, sweetheart. i appreciate your understanding."
"also, what did you want to talk about last night?" minjeong's eyes hardened at your words, before it was gone almost without a trace, a gentle smile taking its place.
"nothing. it was silly." you looked at her, part of you wanting to press her about it, but the other part scared to bring it up in case it upset her again. "by the way, i found a newly built bathhouse earlier that we could go to. if you're interested, of course."
you raised an eyebrow. "bathhouse? i thought you hated those?"
"i do. but i know you like them." you nodded, smiling at her.
"i'd love to."
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you lay down in one of the hot rooms, the steam enveloping your bodies as you both sought solace and relaxation. minjeong's arm served as a makeshift pillow behind your head, providing comforting support. the heat from the sauna seeped into your skin, creating a soothing sensation amidst the tense atmosphere.
as the minutes ticked by in silence, the weight of minjeong's words lingered in the air. you could sense her restlessness, her desire to address the topic that had been weighing on her mind. it was clear that she wanted to talk about something, and the uncertainty of it all made your heart pound in your ears.
minjeong's question stayed in the back of your mind, the weight of unspoken feelings lingering between you. but at that moment, as the steam swirled around you and the gentle sound of water echoed in the background, you both made an unspoken agreement to set aside that conversation for now.
instead, you decided to embrace the present moment and enjoy the tranquility of the bathhouse. the soothing heat of the sauna enveloped your body, relaxing your muscles and melting away any tension. you found solace in the simple act of being together, the unspoken understanding between you becoming a comforting presence.
as you reclined in the sauna, minjeong's arm still resting behind your head, you allowed yourself to fully immerse in the serene atmosphere. the sound of your steady breaths intertwined with the soft murmurs of other bathers, creating a sense of peacefulness.
occasionally, your eyes would meet, and a shared smile would pass between you, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken bond you two shared. words were not needed in that moment, as minjeong's eyes held the emotions that she could not express.
in the bathhouse, time seemed to lose its meaning. minutes molded into hours as you moved from one relaxing room to another, your conversations never about any serious topics. the hot springs, the cold rooms, and the aromatic steam rooms gave you relaxation that the both of you needed.
you relished in the intimate moments, the stolen glances, and the gentle touches that spoke volumes without the need for words.
as the day continued, and the bathhouse began to quiet down, you found yourselves back in the soothing embrace of the sauna. the warmth of the room cocooned you, making you forget about minjeong's words. at least, for now.
you leaned against minjeong's side, her presence both making you nervous, but also comforting. as you closed your eyes, a contented sigh escaped your lips, and a peaceful silence enveloped you both. in that moment, it didn't matter that the conversation about your feelings remained untouched. you assumed that she opted for showing you, not telling you.
"should we go home now?" you nodded, picking your head up from minjeong's shoulder. the two of you walked back to the locker room, enveloped in a casual conversation about dinner. "hey, can you go to the grocery store and get us some rice and pork belly? you can take the car, i'll call a driver."
"of course," you replied, a gentle smile on your lips. the thought of preparing a meal together felt comforting and familiar, and it could also be a way to finally get minjeong to say what's been on her mind lately. "i'll go to the one right down the street."
leaving the building, you made your way to the car and drove to the nearest grocery store. after you reached the parking lot, you sent minjeong a text.
'is there anything else you want'
you waited for a response before you went inside until about 5 minutes had passed and she hadn't responded. you tried to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest, putting your phone away and entering the store. as you shopped around for what you needed, you also picked up a few snacks from the shelves. "this looks like something minjeong would eat," you mumbled to yourself, putting random items into the cart.
you looked down at your phone again after you reached the register, hoping to see a response from her, but she still hadn't responded. with the groceries in hand, you returned to the car and began the journey back home. you tried to ignore the nervousness you felt, trying to only focus on the idea of making a meal with minjeong.
however, as you arrived at the penthouse, a sense of unease washed over you. you hesitantly stepped inside and realized, once again, minjeong was nowhere to be found, and the usually inviting atmosphere felt empty and devoid of her presence. a sinking feeling settled in the pit of your stomach.
walking past the living room, your heart sank further when you found a note left behind on the kitchen counter.
my love,
i couldn't find the words to tell you in person, so i'm telling you here. it hurts me to write this, maybe even more than you, but i've made the difficult decision to leave.
please understand that my intentions were never to cause you pain. you have brought immense joy and love into my life, and for that, i am eternally grateful. but there are emotions within me that i have been battling with, emotions that i find myself unable to express—to fully understand.
in our moments together, i have felt feelings that i have never experienced before. the way you touch my heart, the way you see into the depths of my being, it both exhilarates and terrifies me. and it is this fear, this overwhelming sense of vulnerability, that has made me decide to leave.
please know that my decision to leave is not a reflection of you or our relationship. it is a reflection of my own inner struggles, and my own need for clarity. i need time for myself, to find the courage to open up to you in a genuine way.
i’ve paid the rest of your tuition, and left some money aside for you in case you choose to further your education. you’re free to stay here as long as you want, but in case you don’t—in case the memories here are too much to bear, i’ve paid your rent for three years.
i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, to understand that this is not a rejection of our love, but rather a painful step towards growth. i promise you, with every fiber of my being, that i will return when i am ready to share my heart completely and when i can give you the love and honesty that you deserve.
please take care of yourself, my love. hold onto the memories we have shared, and know that my absence is not an absence of love, but a necessary journey for us both. you have touched my soul in ways that words fail to capture, and for that, i will forever be grateful.
yours truly,
minjeong.
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marasvenus · 5 months
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Your Next Step In School/Career ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。
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Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.
Pictures above are edited by me but are not mine :)
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Pile 1┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。
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Okay, Pile One, I think we have a bit to unpack here 😭 so for some of you, you might have just finished up with a degree, possibly a degree that’s taken a very long time to obtain. I think it could be some veterinary degree of sorts? That could only be for a few of you so take what resonates.
It’s gonna sort to get oddly specific here so pls bear with me 😭 you might be going back to your home town or maybe just somewhere you haven’t lived for a very long time. For some of you, you may have moved away from home to go to college and then moved away from that college to continue your education elsewhere and now you’re doing back to where this town that you went to this college is. (I hope that makes sense and again, it’s oddly specific so pls take what resonates and leave the rest!)
You may just be struggling to find work now that you’ve graduated and it could simply be that there’s not many jobs available where you currently live. For some of you, you might be applying to jobs where you’re moving to and not hearing anything back and it may be really stressing you out and causing you to rethink this decision.
I think you’re making the right decision and moving away is what’s best for you. A big part of the next step in your career is making connections within your field. Possibly on LinkedIn or by going out and meeting new people. I think putting yourself out there and meeting new people will be what gets you a job or maybe applying gets you the job but something about communication and making connections/building relationships gets you where you want to be. This whole energy is giving me hallmark movie vibes for some reason but it’s really nice.
The stress and anxiety you’re currently feeling is understandable and it’s okay to feel that. You may also be dealing with grief/loss. Know that it’s okay to feel these things and allow yourself to feel them. You may he pushing away emotions because you’re afraid to let yourself feel them and it’s doing more harm then good. There’s this feminine energy that may be a spirit guide or passed loved one for some of you that wants you to know you’re doing better than you realize and you’re going to be okay. Just breathe. I heard “it all works itself out with time”
This is another specific message that you should only take if it resonates but some of you may have savings that you may need to dip into a little and you may be worried about it. You don’t have to clear out your savings and it’s important to still be careful with your money but it’s okay if you need to use it for moving expenses or anything expenses you have when you arrive to your new home. This also might just be a heads up from your guides that you will be using some of these savings on unexpected moving expenses/expenses in your new place. Again, only take it if it resonates.
This reading is much longer than I intended and a little all over the place so I’ll leave it here but just know that everything is gonna be alright, Pile One.
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Pile 2┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。
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Hello, Pile 2! So this energy is very different from Pile One. I think you all are just starting a new journey in school/career and are very excited but maybe nervous. Your nerves may be more about fitting in/making friends in this new setting. For those of you in college/university or entering college/university, definitely join clubs/groups. Specifically a study group. I think you’ll meet a lot of people and this will not only help with building friendships and meeting new people, but also with your studies/work and staying on track.
Coffee shops or some sort of small diners or something seem significant. Maybe like a Main Street restaurant or something? You could meet people here. Some of you may be coming out of a rough situation or maybe a breakup so this new start is a change to fully embrace and find yourself. Finding strength in alone time and independence while also creating beautiful connections and friendships and nurturing/maintaining those connections. Maybe this pervious situation/relationship was isolating and kept you away from people so this is really your chance to branch out and meet others and focus on yourself. You’ll meet people that encourage you to love yourself and build yourself up and it will be a really nice change of pace.
Some of you may start a new job? Possible a part time job while you’re in school. This may be where this cafe/Main Street restaurant or something comes in. It may be where you end up working. Some of you may have already seen job listings for a job like this but haven’t applied or are thinking about applying and I definitely think you should do it!
There’s just this energy here of a lot of new connections but there’s a specific one that seems very significant. I think you may be meeting your best friend in this next chapter of your life (specifically at this new job if that resonates) this isn’t giving romantic energy but it feels like a platonic soulmate. This is someone that will become like a sibling to you, like your favorite person and your other half. This is a very beautiful connection that you’re about to find, Pile Two 🥹
Overall, this is a very beautiful chapter for you and it’s important that you embrace it fully. The only thing I will say is that you may be very sure about your studies and think you’ll handle them very well (which is a great mindset to have and I want you to hold onto that mindset!) but they may become overwhelming and you could fall behind if you’re not careful. The study group I mentioned earlier will be very important and helpful in staying on top of things. You may push work aside to spend time with friends but just make sure to keep a good and equal balance between work and personal time.
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Pile 3┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。
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Now this may not resonate for all of you… but are some of you messing around with your boss 👀 again.. take it if it resonates but there definitely seems to be something with a boss. For some of you, maybe you’re boss is just attracted to you or you’re attracted to your boss, maybe there’s rumors/gossip going around in the workplace about the two of you or something. I think you’ve been offered a promotion or you are about to be offered a promotion but maybe you don’t feel like you’ve earned it because of this situation or maybe others have said you haven’t earned it because of this situation. If this is the case, I wanna tell you know that you 100% deserve anything and everything good and amazing and beautiful coming your way and you better not let anyone tell you otherwise.
Your energy is so powerful and magnetic and it’s clear that you have an incredibly strong work ethic. Maybe you work in a field that’s dominated by the opposite gender or maybe you’re young compared to others in your field? It could also be that you took a different route to getting into your field but there’s something that sets you apart from others you work with. Anyone around you that has something to say or that doubts your excellence and work ethic is simply jealous. Everything you have is yours because your earned it. I wish I could put this energy into words because it’s so incredibly powerful and you deserve to feel every ounce of it. You hold so much more power than you realize or give yourself credit for.
Your energy would be so good to have going into a job interview 😭 you have a very go getter vibe about you but you’re also very blunt and you tell it how it is and some people may not be able to take that (and that’s on them. Don’t ever change) some people may fear you getting this promotion because they know it means they can’t slack off or get away with as much because you’ll be on top of things. I heard “you run a right ship” you’ll make sure things are done correctly and on time and that every member of your team is playing apart in keeping this running properly and smoothly. Higher ups in your company or like CEOs or something may take notice because you keep things running so smoothly and there’s a significant change and improvement within the company.
Whatever this situation is with a boss (again, take it as it applies and only if it resonates) may sort of fall apart after your promotion. I think it could have to do with you doing so much better than them and being favored over them by higher ups in your company/corporation. I think this thing ending would be a good thing cause I don’t like this boss’ energy AT ALL. It just doesn’t match yours like it should and quite honestly, your energy is way too good to be involved in this person’s energy. This person just feels very icky and immature and you deserve much better.
Overall, know that good things come to you because you work for them and you deserve them. You attracted amazing things because you are an amazing person and it’s not your problem if someone else can’t handle that. You are magnetic, powerful, and worthy of every amazing thing coming your way. Don’t doubt yourself and continue to further your career. You have an amazing work ethic and a very strong and powerful voice and those two things will take you so so far in life. If no one else has told you recently, I’m proud of you and you got this.
Lastly, I just wanted to add that those people that have something to say or dislike you rn are going to come around and love you after they get to know you more. It’s going to take time for them to realize that their dislike for you comes from their own insecurities but once they do, they will see you for the beautiful human being that you are. Don’t change anything about yourself, let them realize they’ve been wrong this whole time.
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jmliebert · 4 months
Text
✿HALSIN HEADCANONS✿
his love language involves touch, a quiet yearning, and deep respect
soft touches
despite their size and strength, his hands are surprisingly delicate and warm; he's a healer after all. when he's massaging your sore neck, his eyes are focused, and his moves are skilful, leaving you melting under his caring touch
on the flip side Halsin finds deep joy in the tender act of having his hair played with, often gently humming or dozing off during this exchange
also he gives you a lot of tender kisses on your shoulder from behind, saying he loves you
yearning and worshipping
he loves to cherish you with his words, but I feel that at heart, Halsin is a silent watcher, always observing, always admiring. his eyes full of admiration, never cease to appreciate the beauty before him
there is no shame with him; he'd be truly devastated if you hid anything from him, as he adores your body, viewing it as a *nature gift*
with him, you're free to be yourself because he sees more than just your body. whether you are small or big in size, whether you have pubic hair or not, and regardless of your gender, he doesn't care about these
absolutely, one thing that genuinely matters to him is that you have a healthy body; it's something he sees and cares about
if you're a woman, he might be particularly drawn to wider hips. they seem to resonate with his druidic connection to nature and the cycle of life, evoking a sense of fertility that he finds appealing
the allure of nature sparks a fire within him. your naked body glistening in the river's, skin shining under the sun or moonlight, makes him easily aroused . in close embrace, his hot passion manifests, as you are feeling something hard and willing against your thigh...
sex
well, let me just say it that it's hard to make Halsin shy
he's into breeding and can play for a long time if you know what I mean
he couldn't get enough of you at times, restless whenever near you
he's strong, and this strength often manifests in bed. he enjoys experimenting with positions that require physical power, effortlessly lifting you as if you weighed nothing
also very open to trying new things, as long as both you and he are comfortable with it (mutual respect- remember?). would never force you to do something you don't like, he would hate to make you uncomfortable like this
if you were pregnant he would be aroused all the time seeing your swollen belly, symbol of your fertility
from time to time he takes you rough from behind
making a lot of noises, loud ones, almost animalistic. his head bowed and groaning straight into your ear, making your feral
if you were pregnant he would be aroused all the time seeing your swollen belly
after all, he enjoys having you in his arms, feeling the warmth of your sweaty skin against his, and he always wakes up before you ready for another round or sweet cuddles, bye :')
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
 you can find more of my works about halsin ♡here♡
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superficialdomina · 3 months
Text
Fray (Into Submission, Part 4)
Part 3: Lost
Series masterlist
AN: An Avengers training session gives you a chance to show Loki how fun it would be to let you win.
As always, an enormous thank you to @acidcasualties for making this whole series happen. Special thanks to @lokisgoodgirl for checking the accuracy of my swordplay!
Word count: 2.1k
Warnings: 18+; minors DNI. Thirsty with some reminiscing, but nothing explicit in this one. Inaccurate descriptions of combat training. Mostly just lurid descriptions of Loki's smoking hot bod in workout wear, with a touch of plot development.
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Days. You hadn’t seen him in days.
There were hints of him; you knew he was still in the Tower. You’d heard his voice a couple of times, and yesterday when you’d stepped into the elevator you could smell that he’d been there minutes before. But he’d upped his avoidance game. It made you sad, and a little afraid.
The look of anguish he’d worn as he’d cast you out of his apartment remained etched in your memory, leaving the subtle ache of guilt in your chest. Had you gone too far?
You mulled it over as you pulled on your gym gear. Loki might still refuse to talk to you this morning, but you were confident that you would at least see him. After several of your coworkers had missed Saturday afternoon’s impromptu training session, Rogers had rescheduled for first thing Monday morning, with strongly worded insistence that everyone be in attendance. His WhatsApp message didn’t quite single Loki out by name, but none of you was in any doubt about its intended target.
The spacious training hall gleamed with the sunlight that streamed through the large 26th story windows, casting a warm glow on the polished mats. The luxury of the Tower was as prominent here as on every other floor. The gym was loaded with state-of-the-art equipment and comprehensive accessories, all meticulously maintained - as though getting your arse kicked by a handful of superheroes would hurt less because there wasn’t a speck of dust on the yoga mats, you thought wryly. You peered hopefully around the room as you entered. I just need to know that he’s OK, you told yourself.
Loki and Thor were sparring hand-to-hand in the open rink, the soft thudding of their bare feet resonating as they moved around one another. Occasional grunts carried as one of the pair landed a strike. Despite Thor’s size advantage, they were evenly matched; Loki was always a fraction faster, seeming to know exactly where Thor would move next, as though each step were choreographed and practiced to perfection. Observing them was like watching an ancient dance. Which is exactly what it is, you thought, momentarily awed. A fierce, millennium-old dance.
Thor’s bare chest, though impressive, was still somehow less appealing than Loki’s lithe form, clad in workout wear that clung tightly to his broad back. You let your eyes blatantly traverse him. His elegant ankles smoothed into perfectly sculpted calf muscles; his Godly hamstrings flexed under the hem of his training shorts, which in turn restrained his flawlessly rounded glutes. His body was utterly splendid. A delight of form and function, forged by centuries of practice and power. A work of art.
If he would just put that phenomenal dedication and discipline to good use in service to you…
“Time!” Rogers called loudly, and the brothers stepped back, arms lowered, chests heaving. Thor clapped Loki on the back amicably, and for the briefest moment, you saw Loki wince. The small movement made your blood run hot.
Pain.
“Three minutes, everyone!” Rogers continued, before consulting the pairs listed in the complicated run sheet on his ridiculous clipboard. “Two and eight,” he began. “Three and twelve. Four and… Sixteen.”
You groaned inwardly, pushing thoughts of your recalcitrant conquest from your mind. The Black Widow. Not exactly a leisurely start to the morning, then.
“Come on, sixteen,” Natasha laughed. “Show me what you’ve got.”
The room filled with the sounds of Avengers in practice: thudding boots, wordless shouts, the familiar hum of mutual respect and collective, focused power. As you sparred, you began to relax into the collaborative energy, muscle memory activating as your training partner led with her familiar fighting style. Nat feinted here, and you responded there; the two of you were strong, and graceful, and -
Thump. You landed flat on your back on the hard mat. Again. At least this time you’d seen it coming. Your body just… didn’t move that way. Or that fast.
“You’re getting better,” Nat insisted as she hauled you to your feet. “You almost avoided that one.”
“I saw what you were doing,” you agreed, somewhat reluctantly. “I just couldn’t do anything to stop you.”
“They rarely can,” she winked, as Steve’s obnoxious whistle sounded again.
“Drinks!” he shouted, “then re-pair for weapons.” He returned to his spreadsheet, muttering numbers to himself, as you reached for your water bottle and your thoughts – and eyes – returned to Loki.
He was sauntering towards the group with Bucky, shoulders thrown back in haughty masculinity, animatedly wiping sweat from his brow with his sinewy forearm. Whore, you thought lustily. They looked almost amicable. You gazed at him, curious; confused. He seemed… fine? Loki caught you watching him and gave you a wink. A wink. Almost like…
Like old times, you thought. What is going on?
You turned away, chugging water, then wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. He seems fine. Was it real? If he was truly so nonchalant, why the vanishing act over the past few days?
You were still standing there, bemused, when the team began to pair off again. In your distracted state, you’d missed the next call. Who…?
Only one person remained by your side, and his imperious gaze left you in no doubt as to your next partner.
Loki.
You moved together to one end of the training mats. This close, you could see the fine trails of fresh sweat across his bare shoulders; smell the sweet scent of it heavy around you when he raised his arms to pull his curls back into a messy plait. You imagined the saltiness of it gathered in the valleys of his muscular, sinewy body, with which you had so recently become better acquainted; the way it would pool and concentrate in the deep hollow of his jugular notch.
I could make you sweat like that.
He continued to smirk at you mischievously as he moved into position, as grandiose and egomaniacal as ever. “Short swords, Agent?” he drawled, a short, thick blade appearing in each hand with a flicker of green.
“Just one, Laufeyson!” Rogers shouted, before you could respond. Loki raised an eyebrow at you, flirting with the idea of arguing; but he wordlessly vanished the weapon on his left.
“You didn’t want to lend that to me?”
“Darling, they are hundreds of years old,” he drawled coolly. “I don’t lend them to anyone.” Turning to fetch a training sword, you hid a smile at his words. Had he forgiven you?
Or he’s just feeling cocky.
The gym’s practice swords were hung neatly at the far wall. You tried to pick one that was long enough to be effective, but not so long as to be cumbersome. It was highly irrelevant; he was faster, stronger, and infinitely more skilful than you. You selected a narrow doge sword that at least felt comfortable in your grip.
The gym echoed with the ring of steel on steel as your peers sparred. How many rounds had it been? Each time you lasted barely a minute before he outdid you, the sharp edges of his blade finding their mark at your shoulder, your thigh, and once, your collar bone. Despite your budding fatigue, you found yourself mesmerised by him. He wielded the ancient sword with harmony and fluidity, so fluent was he in its unwritten language, so familiar with its little quirks. Like an old lover, you thought madly, as you struggled to steady the vibrations of the blade with each parry and clash.
His weapon whistled again; this time the flat of his blade struck your hand, and you dropped your own sword. He stepped back to patiently wait for you to ready yourself again.
His fitness was phenomenal - you were breathing hard, your arms burning, and he barely seemed to have slowed. The smirk he’d given you earlier was once again pasted across his beautiful, pretentious face. Patient, but smug.
“Where have you been, Loki?” you asked as you retrieved your weapon, buying time to catch your breath. Dammit, your knuckles stung; you hoped it wasn’t obvious.
“Here and there,” he replied easily. No denial this time. “Are you ready?”
“I was worried about you.”
“If you mean that you feared for my safety, I am most able to defend myself.”
“That’s not what I meant.” For a second you thought you saw a flicker of vulnerability return to his features. If you did, it was quickly swallowed by his traditional haughty confidence. “I just… Well, as long as you’re OK.” Ready, you lifted your blade - and a thought occurred to you.
The timing had to be perfect; if he hadn’t been looking directly at your mouth, he might have missed it. Provocatively raking your eyes down over his long body, you bit your lower lip, and gave a tiny, breathy moan.
It was horribly overdone, but it worked. Loki hesitated for a fraction of a second, his eyes widening, and you took advantage of his momentary distraction to slip below his guard; the steel of your sword captured his, and you pushed - hard. There was the harsh sing of metal-on-metal as you slid down the blade, checking his weapon against his chest. His move was forfeit. He stepped backwards off the edge of the mat, losing his balance - and you pinned him against the wall.
You pressed your body into his, your mediocre blade below his chin, and carefully assessed his face. Was he irritated by your trick? If anything, he seemed… amused.
“That,” he said lightly, looking down at you over his long, regal nose, “was an interesting tactic.”
“You know what they say,” you muttered, still breathing hard. “If you can’t beat them…”
“I dare say it would not be widely effective,” he added.
“More than you think, perhaps.”
And then you noticed it: the slight flush to his cheeks, which could be excused by the workout. The twitch of a muscle at the corner of his jaw. The feel of his perfect cock swelling slowly under his training shorts.
Not amused… Aroused.
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Loki knew the moment you’d realised his state of mind. Or rather, state of body.
You’d opened your mouth in mock astonishment, your eyes bright with barely contained glee.
“Are you enjoying this?” you had asked, quietly delighted. The crossed swords had still been pressed unrelentingly against his chest, his blade locked tight under yours. It made his pulse quicken pleasantly.
Loki had given a small, wordless huff, but he didn’t trust himself to speak. In truth, he’d found it highly enjoyable; your control, your audacity, your erotically mischievous little decoy. His own powerlessness. But how could he admit that to you?
The sounds of water splashing off bathroom tile brought him back to the present. Gingerly, he stepped under the heavy jets; steam enveloped him. Lathered soap formed clouds of bubbles that washed away the training-hall grime, the sticky salt that clung to his skin like a fragrance. The precious soreness that assured him that he had worked for this. That he had earned it.
How could he admit that to you? The question turned over in his mind like the soap in his hands, slippery and fraught. It should be simple, really; the evidence was laid bare before him, stripped of illusion and ego in the privacy of his mind. The chamber. The Genuflexa. The young man, beautifully bound. The way your body had risen in his mind's eye to bring him undone, not just then but so many times since…
He let the water run through his long hair, raking his fingernails to help it penetrate all the way to his scalp. He liked the way their sharpness felt on the sensitive skin.
… And in counterpoint, the betrayals of his youth. The early memories of hurt and rejection that had sown the seeds of distrust. The expectations of masculinity and dominance, and the familiarity of the long-worn mask.
Loki lifted his chin to shake the heavy, saturated mass of slick curls out behind him, squeezing the last of the water from it. He thought of you; of how much he would like to tend to your sore muscles, to soothe the bruises you would surely have sustained in combat today. To gently run his fingertips over your scalp, and hear you sigh with contentment.
There was only one sensible question, he decided as he stepped from the lustrous shower recess. Steam was clearing to reveal his glistening face in the bathroom mirror. Did he trust you?
He dried his hands, and picked up his cell phone.
Alright, Agent. Prove me wrong.
Almost immediately, he received your reply. The tone of it sent a little shiver down Loki’s spine.
9pm, my apartment. Be punctual.
Before he could interrogate his feelings about it, his phone gave another gentle ping.
Wear your cape.
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Tags: @lokisgoodgirl @acidcasualties @infinitystoner @lady-rose-moon @coldnique @thomase1 @kats72 @holymultiplefandomsbatman @tomlugirl @lokisninerealms @missmushroomsstuff @ladyloki3 @fandxmslxt69 @sinsandguilt @sarahscribbles @lunarnights95 @meowmeow-motherfucker @simplyholl @divine-knight-hand @gigglingtiggerv2 @eleniblue @loz-3 @redfoxwritesstuff @wolfsmom1 @beksib @nyx2021 @lokischambermaid
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crystaldivination · 1 year
Text
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𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰/𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?
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Hello and welcome to another intuitive pick a card. In this reading we will be looking at the way and how you make others feel your love. I hope you enjoy this and if so don’t forget to leave a feedback as it’ll help me to know what to improve for further readings. Also likes, reblogs and follows are always appreciated!
✤ masterlist • paid services • spoil me! ♥︎
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how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths & look at each pile separately. Take your time to pick out a pile that sparks an interest or a memory in you. Come back later to it again if you can't decide.
The piles
from left -> right
Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.
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♥︎ Pile 1: flower crown ♥︎
Dear pile 1, everyone loves differently right? We know that people sometimes can’t read other people’s mind so the way to express love is by showing it.
For you I feel like Acts of Service and Quality Time are two of the main love languages you use to communicate your love for others, both in intimate and platonic relationships. You seem to be practical so you often like the idea of doing something for your loved ones that you know they would like. You are ready to give up your time for them if it’s what they need. As long as your loved ones feel good about it, it’s worth your effort. You’re very affectionate in the way you care for them. You show them you love them through your actions. You might pay a lot of attention to the smallest things as for example what your loved ones want to do on their vacation next week so you can already plan and prepare for it, what time their favorite show is on so you can watch together, helping them with chores, doing their errands if you notice that they don’t have the time for it or just as simply as how they like to do their hair or have their breakfast in the morning. You also look for what they don’t like to ensure they only feel positive at all time. Assume if they don’t like their space dirty or taking out the trash you’ll make sure to do these tasks for them. You usually always offer your help when needed, look out for them, give them your undivided attention to make them feel loved and appreciated without being asked to. Your actions speak for yourself. You care for them by making sure your loved ones is taken care of in any way.
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♥︎ Pile 2: ballerina music box ♥︎
Dear pile 2, one of the things to create a meaningful relationship is to show the people that you love how much you love and appreciate them so that they know your sincere intentions, right?
You do it through Words of Affirmations. Your love language includes heartfelt gestures such as reminding your loved ones of how much you love them, a random simple loving compliment or a genuine thank-you yet all those small little things are coming from your heart and carry a sense of empathy towards your loved ones since you want them to hear and know what they mean to you. To you words can have a huge impact which can make a big difference. You’re aware of how powerful and beautiful words can really be. Underneath each word is an ocean of meaning and significance that is working to either strengthen or weaken a relationship's bond. Words can be used as a way to tear someone down or build someone up and you choose to embody this power in a positive way. You’re usually someone who tends to notice and care about the details of other people's lives. For instance, you may be the first to notice your partner's new haircut. You also remember to ask your neighbor if they are feeling any better since the last meeting with them. You always make sure to give other people and your loved ones a greater sense of self-worth and make them feel seen with your words. These words are also a helpful and meaningful source of motivation and encouragement to help those feel the most magnificent themselves. Since written and spoken language speaks directly to people’s heart, your strength lies in how you show and how you’re able to show people affection through effusive words, terms of endearment, and sweet little nothings, which are really sweet little everythings.
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♥︎ Pile 3: love arrows ♥︎
Dear pile 3, love is the strongest and healthiest form of human and all living creature bonding and belonging. It's that magical innate feel-able sense, I believe, that is deep inside that ties and binds us —emotionally, psychologically and spiritually— to one another. Language is a way we use to express and share meaning, right?
Your love language with which you communicate or share your deepest, most essential parts of yourself to your loved ones is Physical Touch. You might find it harder to be vulnerable so just like one of our natural instincts you show your love through physical gestures such as touch or physical closeness. To you direct presence and expression matter a lot and sometimes more than things like gifts or words because you know the way to let someone know you love them is by letting them see and feel it themselves in their heart. You want to make your loved ones feel good and protected just like a mother who holds their baby in her chest to make it feel loved, connected and safe. By simply hugging them, giving them a pat on their head or holding their hands to let them know that you’re with them and that they can depend on you at any time show a lot about you. Sometimes touches do speak louder than words. It’s a way to tell without saying a word. You love them without saying a word. You actively listen and offer them your ears while showing understanding and affection through expressing them physically and soulfully. You’re affectionate by easing their heart and mind. You’re able to melt away all their worries with your touch in that moment, sooth, relax and give them that extra boost that they need. Intimacy is indeed meaningful and special.
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© 2023 crystaldivination ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, edit, alter, or redistribute my work. Plagiarism in any form is prohibited.
Thank you for reading! Sending love your way, beautiful souls 🤍
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plutonianeris · 2 years
Text
𓆩♱𓆪 ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ: how they feel about you { letter from your future lover }
take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Interpret & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤 photo source, artist: Oliver Ler Marinkoski
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🖤 ⛓ PILE ONE
I love how reserved you are, how you tend to square your shoulders and hold your head up a bit high when you walk, especially when you're uncomfortable or nervous. Even then, you push yourself to be brave. You were so guarded at first with your emotions. I could not even tell you liked me when I met you until you confessed to me that much later. After all, I could not tell much of anything when it came to you. You kept everything so neatly compartmentalized, and it only made me want to know more about you. I'm embarrassed (although not that much) that I had asked your friend(s) about you, nothing much, just small questions. From the beginning, you had always fascinated me. When you made eye contact with me, I could feel my heartbeat speeding up, nearly threatening to burst out of my chest and land on the table right in front of us. And then, to make it worse (or better), you would shoot me a slow grin with that heavy-lidded and hypnotic gaze, almost like you could hear the rapid pattering of my heart. When you gave me a chance, I felt so fucking lucky and honored even. I knew it had taken you time, and I knew I had to earn your trust. There is a lot you still don't tell me when you start to close off. And then I try to gently bring you back, to remind you that it's safe. You love to play games in the bedroom, and who am I to say no? How can I say no? I surrender to you always. You don't mind when I'm in control when we're alone. Watching how you guide my hand and roughly grab my face is fascinating and exhilarating. How you tell me I don't have to be gentle, tears streaming down your face in pleasure as I pull back your hair. I know at first we might have seemed like an interesting, maybe odd pair, but slowly everyone seemed to agree that we just made sense. I genuinely hope you feel the same.
⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ tip jar ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ
🖤 ⛓ PILE TWO
You have the most adorable face. I remember how you would flutter your beautiful eyelashes at me and give me a soft smile. I could feel the heat creeping across my face, and I hoped you didn't notice. However, something tells me you may have enjoyed seeing me squirm and stutter in your presence. You were shy initially, always asking me how my day was going but mostly retreating to yourself. Even in a crowd, I could pick you out, but you would seem lost in your thoughts, probably thinking about how badly you wanted to get out of there and be alone. It was difficult not to notice you, though, and I could see how other men nervously averted their gaze when you made eye contact with them. You believed that they were weak. I didn't want to appear weak in your eyes, but I was weak for you, especially after our first kiss. It was unexpected but sweet and warm in a way that woke up all the senses in my body. Then I felt our teeth clash and our tongues touch as you bit my lower lip so hard that I could still feel your mouth on mine long after you had left. You are stunning and captivating in every way. In the contours of your body, your skin's smoothness. But also how you care for your pets and the people you love. And how you shine in such a distinctive manner in everyone's lives. You are the person that someone remembers forever once you step into their life. But I don't want just to remember, because that means you have left. I want to feel that exhilaration and joy of being by your side daily. I don't want to lose you; sometimes, it feels like I'm going crazy when I think about how I would drop everything for you. I would sacrifice it all for you, and I think maybe you would let me.
⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ tip jar ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ
🖤 ⛓ PILE THREE
You are the type of person that can make anyone fall in love, especially if that's what you want to happen. It could be a sworn enemy, and you somehow end up charming them. Only after getting to know you, though, and genuinely talking to you is that when people get to see these gentle and loving and caring sides of you. You initially were very defensive, with icy stares and brief replies. I tried not to take it personally, even though sometimes it intimidated me. But then, once I got to know you and made you laugh, I could see how you started to let your guard down, how you leaned in close when you would speak to me, and a hand landed on my arms or shoulder when you smiled. It made me want to pull you in, press my lips to yours, and stand so close our knees were touching. But I didn't want to scare you off (And by scaring you off, I mean I didn't want you to punch me in the face). Instead, you liked to challenge me, a quick-witted retort on your lips as we went back and forth, flirting unabashedly. I will never forget when I first kissed you, how your arms wrapped around my neck and my hands were around your waist. The moment felt like forever, like I could die now knowing what it feels like to have been able to be someone you let in. But it also felt like a second, nearly not enough time. Our kiss left me with my eyes lidded, body humming, and a dumb-founded and love-struck grin on my face. I wanted to get to know every single part of you, and I wanted you to know every single part of me, both our joy and shame. I think about you all the time. You cross my mind the first thing in the morning and right before my head hits my pillow at night. The closer we got, the more it felt like we were one. You had told me about your experiences in the past; some of them filled me with so much rage and sorrow. I could tell you were nervous; you practically had one foot out the door at first. But I was patient. I would wait an eternity if I had to if that was how much time needed to ease your worries and anxieties.
⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ tip jar ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ
© plutonianeris 🕷
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Text
Advice
Pick a cat and get some much needed advice
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This will include:
~Advice you might need ~Something you have to hear ~Insight on something
Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Take what you resonate with, leave what you don't.
Please do not hesitate to suggest a few PAC reading topics as I am struggling with these type of posts.
Cat 1:
I feel as though you may be in a sort of identity crisis. Maybe you're going through a time of major change, and it is causing some crisis of sorts. You're worldview has been shaken and you're brain chemistry has been altered dramatically. Additionally, this could be some drastic change in your spirituality or maybe you're leaving a religion for another or just leaving religion entirely and being hounded by your community for doing so. I know it's stressful, I know you're probably extremely critical of yourself, picking and panicking over every little mistake you make. I want you to take a deep breath and know that this isn't the end of the world. Take the energy you use to criticise yourself to maybe journal, do some shadow work or gratitude journalling. You don't have to write paragraphs after paragraphs. Even one bullet point can make a difference. Let out your thoughts on paper so you don't end up blowing up on someone. and regretting it. Let it out, clear your head and do some damage control before evaluating what steps you have to take to get yourself out of this pit.
Try to reconnect with your inner child, let that child within you have their moment. Do something simple and childish, colour a book, draw. Do something you've always wanted to do, surround yourself with people you love and your friends, let them help you. Trust that those who care about you have your back. Do not let this temporary setback make you lose sight of what you want. This stressful and dark time you are going through is coming to an end. The only reason this moment seems endless to you, is because it is YOU that is unintentionally dragging this moment. Maybe you're stretching on an argument, or clinging onto a grudge, or just simply holding onto bad habits. You are hurting yourself at this point, and there is no one else to blame but yourself. Accept this pain, let go of this grudge or actually try to stop repeating bad habits. And it's not easy. I have a smoking habit myself, but I am taking steps. I haven't smoked for a month now and it has taken too many failed attempts for me to get here. Do not prolong this situation, because when you fall it will hurt even more. Try stepping out of your comfort zone, baby steps is perfectly fine. For me, getting out of my comfort zone meant wearing more form fitting outfits. I started with crop tops and a jacket over, then moved onto just crop tops and jeans. Then only recently have I gotten the confidence to get out of the house in flared leggings. Very simple, yet so effective in telling you: "Hey, it's okay. See, You're fine. You look so beautiful when you're confidently wearing what you want.". Everyone's journey is different, take your time, but taking the steps is what matters.
Cat 2:
There is someone (or was someone) in your life that absolutely changed your life for the best, someone that was there for you in your hardest time. You might be feeling a bit guilty in the sense that they are always there for you, that whatever you give them (or want to give them) seems inadequate, or maybe this person is not in your life anymore and you feel guilt for not expressing your gratitude while they were there. The guilt is weighing you down, and might be leading to insecurities as well. Just know that even a simple acknowledgement and thanks is a gift, while not the most extravagant, it does hold meaning. Open your heart, let them know how grateful you are. And if you struggle with this, a small simple, meaningful gift will always send the message. A gift is a gift, it's the thought that matters. Let this person know, that you appreciate them for more than the comfort they bring you. And if they aren't in your life anymore and it feels like it's too late, it can be as simple as a journal entry addressed to this person. Pour out your heart and write the letter as though you would send it to them if they were present. Or maybe you went through a rocky split up (romantic, platonic) and you want to reach out but you're unsure whether or not you should. Give it a shot. If the other person doesn't respond or responds very harshly, let it go. At least you tried. Or maybe things just fell apart. Me and a few of my high school friends went to different colleges and just stopped chatting with each other. And even now, it's so awkward to try and chat with them, but also so awkward to unfollow them.
Take some time off if you can, maybe during a special occasion. If you're celebrating something with this person, let it be more intimate. Maybe with close friends/family or even just you and this person. Make time for this person, like they do for you. Or maybe it's a day that reminds you of them, honour them by doing something they enjoyed. One thing my grandmother enjoyed doing when she was alive was travelling to sacred, religious places where I live. Every year, my family and I go to these places, pray for her and have fun because she would have wanted that for us. If you've had a split up with this person with so many unsaid things, reach out. Get your closure, clear the air of misunderstandings if there are. If it's with someone you've gradually lost touch with and the awkwardness has stopped you from reaching out. Don't. Reply to their story, send them messages or posts online. let them know that you want to rekindle the friendship. Let them know, that you are also wanting to have this relationship (platonic, romantic). I've said to try and rekindle the relationships/reach out so many times and here I am saying it again: MEND THE RELATIONSHIP!!! BUILD BACK THE FUCKING BRIDGE! Forgive them, but also most importantly, forgive YOURSELF!! It's normal being hard on yourself. This however, what you're saying/doing to yourself is not it bbg. You need love right now, sweet summer child, not criticism. Put your inner critic on the back seat, let your inner healer take control. Do some self care. Face masks, spa, massage, manicure/pedicure. Take care of yourself.
Cat 3:
You're in a crisis. You have conflicting emotions that are fluctuating so fast it's giving you whiplash. Maybe you're facing a choice where you have to leave what you have known. Maybe you're home for further studies or maybe you're planning on moving homes or cutting off contact with family or friends you've known for a long time. It's difficult, because you are potentially leaving what you've always known, what your comfortable with/or people who you've known for a long time. There will always be people who will not support your decision, especially if you're cutting off contact with close family members or friends who you used to always be with. This crisis/conflicting emotions are more so due to you not wanting to deal with criticism from people you've grown up with and less to do with whether you want to do it or not. Because you do. You know it is what you want, but the potential of people's reaction is what's stopping you. If you always walk on eggshells when making decisions, to appease the people around you, you won't make it far. Stop caring about the opinion of people who don't have your best interests at heart.
Maybe what you are pursuing (If it is further studies/a job) is something that you've always wanted to pursue but have been discouraged to do so because it: "Won't put a roof over your hear head and feed you". A creative job/study. Art, music, dance, literally anything that requires creativity. Don't let these people have you give up on your dreams and instead have you slave away at a stressful office job/"prestigious" job. Don't be afraid to splurge on yourself once in a while. Treat yourself to a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant, or buy yourself something you've always wanted. Or even simpler, take a self care day. Take your time bathing, put on a face mask, dress yourself up (even if it is just to go get groceries) If you want to see change, you must initiate it. Don't be a sheep that follows people around mindlessly, take control/the reins if you have to. Assert yourself. Let your opinions stand out, true and strong.
Cat 4:
You're stretching out something tense, maybe an argument, maybe something that really angered you. And i'm not saying that you're anger is not justified. It is, what's not justified is how you're dragging this out. Blowing this situation out of proportion, making a mountain out a molehill. You are getting on the defensive, feeling the strong urge to prove that you are correct or that you didn't do something (or perhaps did) But at this point you're arguing at the wall honey. Know when to stop your battles, get yourself in check before the universe slaps you in the face. The other party has already dropped out, not wanting to spend their time arguing an age old issue. Come to terms with what happened, and try to calmly speak your mind. If you can't, journal it. let it go.
This conflict has you shaken and feeling unsure. What I'm getting is to make sure you're not biased, make sure to listen to the other person's side as well. Just listen and make your decision then. Because if you make a decision right now, it will only be more chaotic. Don't make a decision yet, wait, give yourself some space to clear your head because you're mind is not in the right space to make important decisions right now. Maybe this conflict is between you and a friend or a sibling/family member. I'm feeling that this conflict could be solved if you were to communicate, but there is such a clear lack of it that I am quite speechless. Talk things out, calmly and clearly, let them know how they hurt you and let them apologize/talk as well. Forgive if you can. Enforce boundaries with this person, maybe they overstepped despite your warnings and it was what caused this conflict. Remember, forgiving is good but it's not necessary to heal. If this person has been constantly overstepping your boundaries, firmly set them and cut off contact if you must. Or just be very firm and strict with your boundaries, you might have a habit of caving in to this person walking all over you. Not anymore.
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dfortrafalgar · 3 days
Text
I'm Losing You
Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.
Law x Fem Reader
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read these warnings before reading this fic. Genuinely, I implore you. I started writing this fic on a whim a few weeks ago, when I was contemplating my own experiences with reproduction-related health conditions such as the one that will be addressed later on in this story (endometriosis). Reproductive education and health is something that I feel very strongly about, and I feel that topics such as pregnancy complications and loss aren't addressed enough in media for fear that they're too taboo or shocking. Which, to be fair, is true, at least for the shocking aspect. Pregnancy loss is difficult, traumatic, and life-changing, for better or for worse, truly dependent on the person and the world around them.
Now you might be wondering... why would you drag one piece into this? well, i don't know. i felt like it, perhaps. Law is a character who resonates very deeply to me, his character is emotionally complex and layered, and imagining him in a scenario like this one became very interesting to me. Combine that with everything i stated above and taddaa, you get this fic.
this story does and will eventually have a happy ending (a very happy ending!) however it will take a bit to get there. this is a multi-chapter fic that i'm moving from my ao3 to my new blog, and the same warnings there apply here.
if this fic doesn't seem like your cup of tea, i encourage you to check out some of my other fics on my blog. i have a few law/readers that are tooth-rottingly fluffy and much more feel good.
with all that out of the way, thank you for reading.
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Chapter 1
[Next]
The air in the room was as stifling as a sauna from the stress and anxiety filling the air.  It was so silent, the tiles surrounding the small area blocking any and all noise from outside.  The door was closed, caging you in.
You were sitting on the toilet lid, your hands rapidly perspiring and your whole body shivering with nerves.  Across from you, your husband had his arms crossed, his head hung low, his heel bouncing off the floor.  The tension was unlike anything you had ever experienced, however this had unfortunately become the norm for the past six months.
On the side of the sink sat a long white stick.  Neither of you wanted to look at it.
“Do you think it’s ready now…?” you asked, inwardly cringing at how pathetic and weak your wobbly voice sounded.
Law picked his head up, his golden eyes creased in profound concern and worry.  “It should be.  Five minutes, right?”
“I think so,” you replied.  With a trembling hand, you grabbed the stick from the counter.  Law watched your every movement with a close eye.  With a deep breath, you flipped over the test and gazed at the result window.
A single red line.
After the last failed attempt, you made a joke that you didn’t have any more tears left in you to cry, but clearly that wasn’t the case as fat, salty tears rapidly welled in your eyes and flowed down your cheeks.  Law immediately knew what the result was the second your lips twitched downward.  His heart sank into his stomach, immediately stepping toward you, grabbing the test from your hand and blindly chucking it into the small garbage can in the corner.  He knelt on the floor in front of you to pull you into his chest.
“Damn it…” you whimpered.  Your body forced you to take a shuddering inhale before sobbing an anguished, “FUCK!!!!”
Law’s heart broke.  He didn’t even know what to say to comfort you anymore.  6 months of failed attempts at conceiving a very wanted baby had caused nothing but pain to both of you.  You had both been scientific about the process.  All birth control and protection was ceased, and the two of you were religiously tracking your cycle to make sure you would try during your ovulation window, but nothing but failure after failure showed up.
You thought you were broken.
Law thought he was broken.
You wept into his shoulder, your body shuddering with each pained sob that crawled from your sore throat.  Law’s hands were frozen around you, firmly gripping your back.  You couldn’t see the tears that were forming in the corners of his stern eyes, biting his lip and forcing every muscle in his face to prevent those tears from slipping downward.  The last thing you needed was to see him cry, but he didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold it in.
“Law…” you whimpered into his shoulder.
Law stayed silent.
“I’m sorry–”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” he quickly retorted, cutting you off.  He felt you lurch in his arms.  “This isn’t your fault.  It’s not anyone’s fault… it’s…”
Now you stayed silent.
Law took his own shallow inhale.  “I… don’t know.”
For one of the only times in Law’s life, he was rendered completely incapable of speech.  Normally calm and analytical, looking for every possible solution or reason for an issue, he was now left completely helpless to the crashing waves of sheer dejection.  As your quivering body clung to him like a lifeline, his entire brain was scrambling for some sense, any logical thought, for the current predicament, but it was starting to become glaringly obvious to both of you.
It was very likely one of you was infertile.
When you finally picked your head up from his shoulder, Law’s previously broken heart fractured into even more irreparable pieces.
Your eyes were puffy, swollen and bloodshot from your tears.  Your entire face looked bloated from the force of your crying, and you were clearly flushed.  You looked, for lack of a better word, completely miserable.  Law helped you stand from the closed toilet seat, keeping your eyes away from the trash can where the negative pregnancy test lay on top of discarded tissues and makeup wipes, to guide you to your shared bedroom.  Neither of you had to say a word, you knew he was going to put you into your shared bed and let you get some much-deserved rest after the stressful eternity (10 minutes) you had just endured.  It was almost 8:00PM anyway, and regrettably, both of you still had work the following day.
You didn’t fight it when Law eased you down onto the mattress by your shoulders.  You kept your eyes pinned closed, not wanting to let your husband see any more of your beaten state.  You rolled over onto your side and hid in your pillows.  You didn’t hear Law mention that he would join you after cleaning up, and you didn’t notice the overhead light dimming.  You simply begged for sleep to take you quickly and painlessly.
When Law finally returned after washing his face, he gazed dejectedly at your weary form.  Finally asleep, fortunately, but your cheeks were glossy with fresh tears.  The man carefully crawled into bed behind you, carefully pulling your body into his.  He wished more than anything that he could make your pain go away.  He ran through the many years you had been together, and struggled to find a time where your sorrow was as profound as it was this evening.  His mind was constantly at war- his analytical, doctor side beginning to list specific reasons why this could be happening, and his sincere, passionate, loving husband side breaking apart reflecting over the sound of your sobs.
It could have been either of you.  But it also could’ve been both of you.  The thought was enough to finally force the tears in Law’s eyes to break free and travel down his cheeks.  Some of them plotted into your hair.
You awoke to the sound of whispering in your hallway outside the bedroom.  The blinds covering the window above the bed you shared with Law were pulled shut, but the sunlight still beamed through them leaving patterns on the walls and floor.  The side Law slept on was empty and freshly made.  No surprise, he left for work early in the morning after all.  You slowly sat up in bed, your head pounding.  The events of the previous evening came rushing back to you, but you felt nothing but an empty melancholy, a dark fog that hung over your brain and clouded your vision.
The door to your bedroom slowly opened.  You looked up just in time to see a very large, very fluffy cloud with four legs and two beady eyes come sprinting into your room.  Its feet ripped across the carpeted floor as It hopped on your bed with a loud huff, immediately snuggling on top of your duvet and leaning into your body for some much needed cuddles.
You mustered a weary laugh, your hands instinctively moving to the back of the dog’s neck to rub his fluffy cheeks from behind, eliciting happy grunts from the large animal.  He had his tongue out, a tiny pink blep among the sea of rich white fur.
“Bepo,” you sighed.  “You know Law doesn’t like it when you get on the bed.”
“He missed you!” called a voice from the hallway.  Spiky red hair appeared in the doorway.  “So did we, actually.  I hope I didn’t wake you up.”
Shachi had, actually, woken you up, but you didn’t need to tell him that.  “No, not at all.”  You shook your head.  Bepo’s tail was wagging in your face, causing you to sputter out small strands of loose fur from your mouth.  The red-head entered your bedroom, leaving the door open.  The smell of French toast instantly wafted into the space, making your mouth water and your eyes widen.  “Is Penguin cooking?”
“Yee-up,” Shachi replied, popping his lips to enunciate the word.  “Law invited us over, if you couldn’t tell.”  He flashed a smirk.  “You got the day off, by the way.”
Your eyebrows wrinkled in confusion.  “What?”
“Law called in sick for you,” the man confirmed.
You frantically reached for the night stand and grabbed your phone, tapping the screen to illuminate it.  It was almost 10:00AM, and sure enough, your alarm had been turned off.  Three texts from Law sat waiting on your screen, as well as two texts from your coworkers.
Baby~~<3
Sorry, I broke into your phone to turn your alarm off.  You get to sleep in today, I called you out sick.  I didn’t tell them anything, just that you weren’t feeling good.
Baby~~<3
Shachi and Penguin might be there when you wake up.  I did tell them a little about what happened, just so they know to give you space if you need it.
Baby~~<3
Call me if you need anything at all, I love you.
Ika-chan
I heard you called in sick today!!!  I hope you’re alright, let me know if you need anything!
Nami Swan
How r u feeling?  If u caut the flu u can blame Usopp :P
You smiled, your heart beating in your chest.  “You guys are too much sometimes.”
Shachi proudly rested his clenched fist over his sternum as a display of pride.  “Nothing is ever enough for your best friend!”  The sight made you chuckle.  
You were caught off guard by Penguin entering with a much larger platter of food than you ever expected.  He excitedly approached your bedside with a wide grin, marveling at his own work.  A bowl of mixed fruits, a plate of French toast drizzled with maple syrup and dollopped with a swirl of whipped cream, a small portion of sausage on the side, and a single unopened bottle of apple juice.  You graciously accepted the spread, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely befuddled.
“You guys know I’m not actually sick, right?” you asked, glancing at your husband’s best friends with concern.  You shooed Bepo away from getting too close to the sausage.
“We know,” Penguin clarified.  “We can treat you to a nice breakfast even when you’re not sick, though!”
You smiled, forcing down the lump that formed in your throat.  “Thank you guys, I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I know what you’d do,” Shachi stated.  “You’d eat your breakfast and savor every bite!”  He stood up from your bed and clapped his hands twice, beckoning Bepo off of the bed and over to his side.  “We’ll take Bepo for a walk around the neighborhood!  Take some time for yourself!”  The two men left with your dog in tow, leaving you to stare in awe at the spread of food.
Your mind was reeling.  Law’s text informed you that he had given his two friends a brief summary of what had happened, but you didn’t really mind.  If anything, it brought you some comfort to know that you and your husband’s two closest friends understood the predicament you were currently in and were more than willing to go out of their way to support you.  You also couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Law calling you out sick for the day, putting your passcode into your phone to turn off your alarm, and making sure his friends would be there for you when you woke up.  You were beyond grateful for such an incredible support system, but just to be on the safe side…
You grabbed your phone once more, opening your text messages with Law.
Good morning baby, thank you for calling me out.  Im feeling a bit better, Shachi and Penguin made me breakfast.  I hope you didnt give them too much grief ;3; Take care of yourself today, I’ll see you when you get home.  I love you!!! <333
With your breakfast completed, you slowly trudged to the bathroom to take a relaxing shower.  The sight of your negative pregnancy test filled you with nausea, but you pushed past the feeling and turned on the water.
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crypticcowboys · 4 months
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hi there, i absolutely love your writing! please may i request some general headcanons for mike x gn!reader where both he and the reader are autistic? i’m glad to see that someone else headcanons him as such :D i hope that’s not too vague!!
a/n: thank you for being my first ask :3! and ofc it's not too vague! this is going to be focused more on mike's traits and basically his interactions with you. this was also lowkey self indulgent. i actually really enjoyed writing this so i think i might make another one of these focusing just on him@))@ pairing: autistic/audhd!mike schmidt x autistic!gn!reader headcanons, also autistic abby (the entire family is autistic) warnings: brief mention of autistic meltdown, otherwise fluff. wc: 836 (i ran out of ideas.)
not proofread i wrote this while high
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mike schmidt didn't find out that he was autistic until a lot later into his adult life-- only knowing that he had adhd. he always knew that abby was autistic, she had been diagnosed earlier into her life. but him? he never gave second thought to it. of course, he felt disconnected in a sense to the rest of the world. he was there, but he felt like nobody truly clicked nor resonated with him besides abby. of course, until he met you.
to say that mike was truly comfortable with you was an understatement. he didn't feel forced to make eye contact with you, and of course, ended up feeling comfortable enough with you to make full-on eye-contact... each and every time.
i feel like mike's love languages are definitely quality time and physical contact. he enjoys sitting in a room with you as a sort-of body double-- you two don't have to talk at all for him to have a good time with you. he enjoys being close to you, or being in a room with you, the both of you engaging in anything that you'd like. as for the physical touch part, he always needs to be connected with you in some way. in public, he's behind you, interlinking your arms or your hands together and giving you a soft squeeze. or when you're both in bed, and you two can actually fully hold eachother, this man needs pressure. he needs to feel like he's being pressed by a hydraulic press. either lay on-top of him or squeeze him from behind whilst he's the little spoon-he's in heaven.
mike definitely loves the sound of your voice. when you're talking he's pretty much giving you his full attention, even if he's not looking directly at you, or doing something else. he won't mind if you ramble about your special interest or your hyperfixation, he'll listen and ask you as many questions that pop into his mind. he's genuinely curious about what you're into!
as for mike's sPin/hyperfixations, i feel like one of the biggest hyperfixations he ever had as a child was pokemon. it's basic and mainstream, i know, but i feel like he especially took interest in card-collecting. i feel like he's a big collector in general-- he likes seeing physical groups of things that he either picks up or buys himself. he doesn't have much money to expand his collections now, but every once in a while he'll save up to expand them. i feel like he really enjoys miniature things-- like tiny things he can build. this may seem a bit childish to him and he'd never admit it-- but he likes calico critters because of the small objects. he can just never afford the sets. i feel like he also watches tiny cooking videos on his phone when he can't sleep.
mike's also a really big music enjoyer. i feel like he's always got his walkman on him-- several tapes. this man is a sade and jeff buckley enjoyer and you can't tell me any different.
despite the fact that he needs a job to support himself and abby-- mike is quick to burn out with work. he'll start off strong at first, and then later, everything down to the very air he could breathe in the place could just irritate him. besides all the stuff that happened at freddy's, it was... sort of a fresh breath of air, being his 'own boss.' no coworkers that couldn't understand the meaning of taking a break due to overstimulation to nag in his ear during rushes. not that rushes even really existed in the first place at freddy's. but for all his other jobs, he either got fired or outright quit less than 6 months of work because of his dull-minded managers. fast food was the worst-- he'd always encounter rude customers. he got a drink thrown at him, once, and he swore to never work fast food again. he does not back down on promises.
but whenever he does have burnout, or have a meltdown, mike instantly seeks you out first. he's clinging to you like a lifeline, feeling tears springing to his eyes whenever he's thinking about the amount of bills and fees he has to pay, or the chores he needs to do. he needs you to distract him from it all, he needs you to hold him tight and just distract him from everything. the burnout takes weeks to go away, but you and abby just make the experience so much smoother for him.
i feel like mike really enjoys going on road trips and long drives. no destination, just driving around with you and abby, making up dumb stories or you giving storytimes from your job that abby probably shouldn't be hearing, incase she starts picking up words like 'shit.' but she's already picked them up, honestly.
both you and abby are his lifelines. and the world wouldn't quite click if it weren't for you, especially.
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theinnerunderrain · 1 year
Text
The apple of his eyes [Yan! Kazuha x Amnesiac! Reader]
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Warnings: Yandere themes, amnesia, manipulation and gaslighting, objectification.
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Love is a fruit that is always in season and within everyone's fingertips. There is no fixed constraint on who may gather it.
Kazuha reasoned that even if the affection was contrived, it was nevertheless a fruit of blessing and therefore only needed just that little prodding in the right direction. It was his own fruit, which he voluntarily spent time tending to by providing it with continual water, ample food, and trimming at the margins to allow for the healthy growth of new twinges.
"Who are you?"
Kazuha was a bit saddened by your sincere interest as she heard the inquiry leave your lips. But perhaps it was the results of his own behaviour—his failure to effectively manage his emotions. It was an error that he didn't intend to make but committed due to his strong sentiments towards you, which he vowed to better control.
He simply lost control and devoured a touch too much of the fruit.
But how can you condemn him when you're just too sweet for your own good?
"...Ah, you do not seem to remember me."
He mumbled, attempting to seem as miserable and distressed as he could, hoping to elicit your sympathy and cause you to shed your sense of guilt.
"I-I apologise for forgetting. If you just tell me, I might be able to recall certain things..!"
The sound of your bewildered voice prompted a ghost smile to briefly trail the edge of his lips, but the room's obscurity prevented you from seeing any of his smile because of how quickly it vanished.
"[First Name]."
He pronounced your name fluently, as if it were a weekly incantation he repeated to himself as part of his meditations. As though he was so accustomed to saying your name that it became an intrinsic part of his personality.
"There's no need to panic. You can refer to me as Kaedehara Kazuha, your friend."
His statement fell off the tip of his tongue, however it wasn't entirely a lie given that you two were friends prior to the occurrence. He wasn't really lying about anything; considering how close you two were to one another, some people might have even assumed you two were in a relationship.
So he didn't have to feel guilty about anything.
"Ah, so we're friends..!"
You inquired, gazing at him with anticipation as he finished speaking, as if it were a comfort to have a friend by your side who could assist you find your way down the memory lane. As you searched for memories of this alleged friend of yours, the term "friend" kept resonating in your head.
Yet nothing came to mind.
But the name Kazuha does sound oddly familiar, doesn't it?
Kazuha.
Kazuha.
Kazuha.
"You were involved in an accident, one that rendered your mind unconscious and blank. We are lucky enough to have you alive and well."
His lips were as seamless as caramel as he chatted, examining your visage for any indications of emotion as his crimson gaze skimmed over it. However, the only impression on your face was one of utter uncertainty, as if he were some kind of parent attempting to explain to their infant child the significance of the very first day of preschool.
"What sort of accident was I involved in?"
You asked, concealing a few stray hairs behind your ears while you awaited the man's response. The murmur of small ripples squirting against the ship seemed to resonate in the atmosphere, and the wobbling of the vessel made you feel somewhat apprehensive, even if you already got a sense of déjà vu simply being inside the boat.
"That's something I'm not sure of. A Crux crew member discovered your body lying on the shore. Here, drink some water."
Kazuha leaned over the bed and reached for a cup of water, pressing the rim of the grey cup on your lips and tilting your head back so the water would easily flow down your throat.
"I hope that helped you feel much better."
He smiled, setting the cup back to its original position, and then wiped the excess moisture from the corner of your lips with the sleeve of his shirt. Even someone with no memories would be able to tell that possibly Kazuha had a bit too much fondness for you based on his almost too endearing stare.
Yet you made no attempt to question him, only allowing him to gently care for you. Perhaps too afraid or too hesitant to freely question the young man.
"Now, as much as I would love to answer your question."
Kazuha positioned a gentle caress on your shoulder and cautiously eased you into the mattress. He then reached for the blanket and slid it over your body merely enough to encompass the majority of your body. The blanket smelled like syrup and leaves, much like Kazuha, and felt warm against your body amidst the cold night.
"Why don't you rest, and when the moment is right, we'll discuss tomorrow?"
+
What he was doing wasn't wrong.
Kazuha didn't force you to do anything and he didn't tell you any nasty falsehoods. He just added more components to the story.
Kazuha wouldn't even perceive it as pressuring since he wasn't employing any violent methods to ensure you comply with his dictates. So what if he was required to coerce the intimacy between the two of you?
He was essentially repainting over your image of him, as though he were commencing with a blank canvas and rewriting one of his compositions. Kazuha might even claim that your creation is his finest. Given that Kazuha was not a scientist and could not just concoct a love potion, it certainly necessitated some trial and error. He was aware of your doubts about him, yet you were forced to rely on him because you had no other reliable source.
To ensure that the fruit he sought blossoms properly, it just required a small amount of encouragement and a few words. He'll just have to erase your memories when you start to retrieve them, persuade you that you're mistaken, and how could you honestly trust yourself. Shouldn't you be relying on him instead since your mind is filled with voids and empty memories of the past?
You don't have to think of anything.
Let him serve as your compass, like a gardener steadily guiding his fruit in the right direction.
He should manoeuvre the fruit into his hand since there are no set restrictions on who has access to you.
Kazuha wasn't going to let anyone steal from him or ruin the quality of his produce.
Not after he worked so hard.
Not after he had to give you a little shove.
Not while you're clutching to him so affectionately and feeling grateful to your close friend for saving your life.
Not when his fruit is so luscious and red that it is at the pinnacle of its prime, able can be devoured at any time.
If Kazuha had to eliminate innumerable vines in order to obtain the fruit he desires, it wouldn't be beneficial for anyone, would it?
Just be good and listen to him.
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