#that anymore. something is wrong with me

[madamemiz]

sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

#oughhhhhhh #this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol #i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content #and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock #but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once #and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion #i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like #a handful of times at best #it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away #(understandably so!) #anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts #musing about fandoms past as well #that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore #also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)

[cringefail-clown]

okay, so we know that godtiering heals you. tavros gets his legs back, vriska gets her eye and arm back etc etc. furthermore, it could be interpreted as healing perceived disadvantages. terezi wouldnt get her sight back if she were to godtier, because she doesnt see (pun not intended but here we go) her blindness as something that weakens her, quite the opposite - and when aranea heals her sight, she hates it and purposefully wears a blindfold. sburb would recognize her preference and honor it once she ascends.

we could go even further. once ascended, all your perceived weaknesses would be removed, and what weakness means varies wildly from person to person. harlenglishcrocegberts keep their glasses, as well as vriska - we can assume they never felt like their bad sight was any issue for them, so it was left out. for trans folks, and lets put myself under the microscope - if i were to godtier, sburb might throw my way a nice and quick top surgery, but leave the rest alone since i dont have any strong feelings about those.

it could even heal things like brain damage, chronic pain, migrains, cancer, anything that you feel like brings you down will be removed. alpha kids get their hangovers healed up. ascending basically builds your body up from the start, atom to atom, whole dna rewritten if you want it to be.

my question now: would it, or would it not remove karkats or kankris mutation, making them limebloods? everytime we see vantases who are god tier theyre ghosts, and their wings are not shown. it might be because theyre small (which is a popular headcanon) or they dont have any, be it because of their mutation or because its a feature of the bloodcast they originate from, or theyre simply hidden. either way we never see what the actual color of their wings is, which would indicate the color of their blood after ascention.

basically i have no idea. but its a fun thing to think about and ive been doing it for the past few days now

#homestuck #homestuck meta #karkat vantas #kankri vantas #terezi pyrope #godtier #either they dont see their mutation as a weakness anymore and they stay the same #or godtiering couldnt change their mutation (unlikely for me) #or they really just straight up switched their bloodcaste and we were just never shown lmfao #i think the vantases are limebloods thing is also just a theory but i like it so much im basically treating it as canon #i mightve missed some info about the godtier stuff tho so if i got something wrong/it was explained then lmk!

[yyamssoup]

blegh

#trigun #98 #vash the stampede #millions knives #my art #had so much trouble with them and i STILL think theres something glaringly wrong . does not matter month old i do not care anymore #hi guysssssssss #i miss the little hold trigun had on me last month #made me a little insane though

[reluctantbylerblog]

call me crazy and controversial but I don't think nancy did anything wrong, nor is she fundamentally a bad person for what happened to barb in s1, and I absolutely do not think she needs to be redeemed. the end of her character arc should always be about reaching a point of self-compassion and forgiveness—specifically by healing enough to allow herself to move past her guilt and belief that she caused barbs death by letting herself become close to others and form intimate friendships. especially with robin (who imo she was cagey with in s4 because of her trauma around barb)

#stranger things #nancy wheeler #ronance #kind of #redemption arca are for people who djd something weing and nancy wheeler did nothing wrong #she was a bratty 16 year old who wanted to lose her virginity to a hot guy and ignored her friend for one night #and saying nancy needs to redeem herself from that is fucking crazy to me #barbs death was very much not her fault and the implication that she needs to atone for that is crazy to me #like did we watch the same show? #she has major survivors guilt! and the false belief that she caused barbs death #(I don't even like nancy that much but jesus I dislike interpretations of her character where #she needs to ‘‘choose’’ robin in order to redeem herself for not ‘‘choosing’’ barb #not even romantically because ronance in this particular scenario can be read both ways #what she really needs to do is allow robin to choose her! because she doesn't let people in anymore! because she HAS SURVIVORS GUILT!)

[coolnonsenseworld]

Last piece ❤️💙

There are still leftovers of the Calendar as well as some A5 prints with calendar pieces 💞

linktr.ee/Mezzy (or check my Tumblr for links)

#klance fanart #klance #voltron legendary defender #ooofff you ever feel like you keep doing things and things are still to get done??? #i keep saying this every five posts #i start to think loving getting in the 'art zone' is my biggest vice #because sure i sketch or do some digital work from time to time but if i haven't sat down to draw for hours #until eyes sting and neck cant move and brain sleepy af? is it drawing anymore? is it living anymore? yeah i thought so #im the main person making grocery shopping in this house did you know? for three people #there is always something running out and like let me tell you i already answer business emails while eating #i cleaned the windows today before my first coffee #okay to be fair i started it but apparently i used the wrong bottle and i smeared anti grease all over the windows #and then finished my coffee staring at the curvy roads of a thin film painted between me and the world promising myself to never do anythin #before first coffee #either way i feel like i havent been very present or entertaining lately #by which i mean on and off for months #am i correct or am i partially correct or reimagining things? who knows #but i keep having so many things i want to do it just keeps on going #i'm starting with commissions now #BUT THEN!! #haha yeah i hope you are having a great November and enjoy this piece!! #sending hugs <3 if you like them if not #a gentle wave from a far

[maulfucker]

So fucked up that obimaul is a rarepair. What do you mean not everyone is obsessed with enemies to lovers with a Force connection, where one side is completely obsessed with the other who barely acknowledges him (but is just as affected)

#hm i should make an original post tag #obimaul #like. say what you want but obi-wan saw a random dathomirian zabrak and immediately went 'maul?? alive??' #he DOES care about maul he just doesn't actively seek him out like maul does #post prompted by this song that makes me think about Maul in his crime lord era‚ all the luxury of the world within his reach‚ #but none of it satisfies him because what he really wants is to find (and kill) kenobi #'another night up in the best suite; everything's gone wrong already‚ my body admits; dreaming so high the floor is the limit; #once again i got lost.. [...] another night i give myself‚ top of a skyscraper; i'm the king of the world‚ dreams for rent; #and when i look at myself i sigh with a low voice‚ 'i don't feel bad i just feel nothing'' #(<- song is são paulo‚ 2015 by jão) #it's a song about feeling dissatisfied with the life of fame because there's an emptiness he can't fill with sex drugs or luxuries #and from the context of the album it's likely he's thinking about a past lover he's still not over #so. imagine with me. #i might make something out of this. maybe. #but like. posting about songs that make me think obimaul thoughts. not very productive. almost no audience. #... and while making this post i've been attacked by yet another song with a very obimaul words #'lie to me‚ run from me‚ we swear it doesn't count‚ in this way of ours‚ but it's not because i hate you that i can't kiss you anymore' #<- pilantra by jão and anitta

[whenyoulosesmallmind]

Nicklas Bäckström & the Washington Capitals (+ nickeovi) ― Immortality, Clare Harner | insp.

credits: x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x.

#uh. it has not been done yet right? #because the whole thing was kickstarted by another nicke post with a caption that read something like #“he really did say do NOT weep on my grave you're so annoying” #but i cant find it anymore #edit: found it! tysm @lafragolina <3 #& by association i did not find other edits w nicke and this poem in particular #so i hope i did not rip anyone off -- in case let me know i'll delete #apropos of this poem i don't know how common knowledge it is (i did not know for once but i also do not read poetry that often so) #it is often attribuited to the wrong author one mary elizabeth frye who used to hand out copies of this poem w her name attached to it #she even changed some lines! anyway i linked the wiki article if you wanna check out more info -- its interesting #nicklas backstrom #nicklas bäckström #alexander ovechkin #washington capitals #nickeovi #819 #hockey rpf #hockey poetry

[oobbbear]

Have a funny style study I did for school

#my art #I kinda lost my will to create for a while #for a while I mean like 2-3 months #I don’t know what I like anymore my brain stopped talking to me and it’s scary #I might stop drawing fanart for a while #and slowly drift away from the sunmoon fandom #don’t get me wrong I still love them #and I definitely want to create for them #it’s just i think I need to make something for myself and they’re in the way… #put them in a nice little box along with my other blorbos #I’m need to find my love for art back #so I can come back stronger and less mentally drained ✨

[blueskittlesart]

Feel free to ignore this but as someone who also goes to art school, I find it really interesting how other art schools also have a “don’t date your peers” sort of faux pa. Like so many people I know (including me) refuse to date anyone else who goes to my college 😭

I wonder why that is tbh, small school thing maybe?

being so serious i didn't have anything against dating other art school peers when i first came here and i think most freshmen dont but once you have one or two art school relationships under your belt you realize why all the upperclassmen avoid dating each other like the plague

#it sounds so good on the surface. like when am i ever going to find this many lesbians concentrated into one place at the same time #but unfortunately in order to go to art school you need to be 1. in your 20s and 2. have something wrong with you #also especially as you get into years 3-4 i think maintaining a relationship just becomes SO hard. bc we're all in the trenches #AND ALSO. from experience. this school is SO small that you CANNOT avoid your exes. if it ends badly fuck you you have 4 classes with her #anyway obviously this doesnt stop me from looking for. things. on tinder. i just dont swipe right on anyone i recognize from class #and it ALSO does not stop you from WANTING to date people in your classes. this tinder girl is nowhere near my first art school crush i jus #do not act on them anymore <3 lmfao #that being said tinder girl if youre reading this i didnt mean any of it baby you're so pretty and im so stable please dm me

[astragatwo]

The new W Corp besties

#my art #project moon #limbus company #fanart #lcb yi sang #lcb ryoshu #lcb hong lu #AUAAAAUUGUGHHH I HATE PM SO MUCH (putting up posters of everything w corp up on my walls) #they're so MEAN i HATE them :wail: #also hi i had these doodled for a little bit but decided to finish them instead of going to bed #i dont really like how any of these (except for maybe hong lu) look but at least the wip wont haunt me anymore #every time pm does something with w corp my friends get front row seats to me straight up dying for a little bit #trios of IDs specifically created to torture me: #last w corp cameo left is rodya when will it be her time #SIGHS i miss them all but pm's gonna need to Not sue unions if they want me to redownload their gacha game #anyways surely there's more than clean up agents over at w corp like dont get me wrong i love the flesh janitors but #what else is there i need to know more about my favorite dimensional space existential horror gore trains #sometimes i dream of drawing every single named wcorp agent in one drawing... maybe some day

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

no one told me how isolating unmasking would be

#and its certainly...something #like i dont regret it #i dont wanna masking to be my default and i dont wanna be in pain or uncomfortable anymore #but realizing that the ppl in my life have never been exposed to the real unmasked version of me #and finding that most of them dont like that version #well its kinda heartbreaking #and dont get me wrong i do love my alone time #but im also so terribly lonely at the same time #and dont know hoe to fix it bc for most ppl relationships depending on the going out aspect #and lots of that stuff is painful for me and im trying to not force myself to do #so im just left on my own #just wasnt ready for how terrible this would be even tho its also great #autism #ry rambles #probably will delete later

[butmakeitgayblog]

Okay that look that ADC gives Laura? I can just see all of your Lexa au looking at Clarke like that and I can’t with the softness.

You're not wrong

But also...

#anon #it's giving jealous MBFW Clarke vibes #you're not wrong tho! #that doting look like #CoA Lexa any time she's anywhere in Clarke's general proximity #romeo Lexa is always a fool in love and it's written right across her face #AWTR Lexa. when I said Gus could barely recognize his daughter anymore this is what I meant #at no point had his serious and stoic daughter ever been #... bubbly 🤨 #but yeah no initially this just gave me MBFW vibes (without the crack) because that's why Costia scared the shit out of Clarke #more than anyone ever had #cuz Lexa... she genuinely felt something for Costia #and Clarke could tell #because before Lexa had only ever looked at her like that #don't kick my ass ok #what Clarke just doesn't realize is that Lexa still looks at her exactly like that. only even more stupidly in love #she's just so used to it she doesn't see it anymore #but seeing even a fraction of that detected at someone else? #like sledgehammer to the chest #directed**

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

erm anyway i wanna remind the public that frank was an actual guy and hes dead now

#generation loss #gl!frank #bring him back he did nothing wrong‼️‼️ #(probably did something considering they didnt bring him back) #i know its like. arguably better that hes not actually alive anymore. #but hes not even free from them in death theyre using his corpse for entertainment #he makes me fucking sick

[moonilit]

going to Fontaine,

#Furina is going to be exhausting isn’t she #Now why did i think mister magician did hide a coin behind my ear #i wasn’t right but i wasn’t wrong either #Im not eben in and they already telling me about a prophecy #Dude im not even in let m get in a cafe or something #This is worse then inazuma #Im here to get a guy in prison i don’t even care about my brother anymore #And otters show me the cute otters #genshin impact #diluc #Klee #Lumine #kaeya #jean gunnhildr

[realbeefman]

i'm a cis woman, but in the past few years i've developed a habit of headcanoning any male character i relate to as a trans women, beginning a fic trying to explore that, and then miserably falling short as i can never figure out how to end the story. i've recently joined a new fandom and started my most recent attempt at writing this ever-elusive character interpretation i've been trying to explain for years. and it occurs to me that maybe the reason i keep trying to interpret these characters i relate to as women and failing to, is because i'm trying to project the wrong experience. because i think that conclusion i can never fully bring myself to write isn't one about coming to terms with womanhood and embracing that identity, but about coming to terms with being a man.

so tldr im a trans man and this is a coming out post.

#shaking a little bit writing this but like. i dont know. #ive felt. alone a lot and ive been very scared of actually doing anything to make myself happy for a lot of my life #and ive felt a lot of shame about particularly. i dont know. #i feel a lot of shame in general #but about my gender. about feeling like i cant transition because i dont want to do it the way you see in media #and that its cool for other people to be gnc and trans and present however they want but #that itd be wrong for me. that id be faking #and i dont know i think im tired of running from it #im acting like this is some terrible truth. like this is an unspeakable evil i would inflict on the world by doing something that could mak #me happy. make me feel comfortable #i dont want that shame anymore #i never deserved it #anyways. i like the name angus. please call me angus from now on although autumn is actually still fine i do fw that name. always have #but i need to say this and put it out into the world and not take it back #this is my experience. this is my starting point. and fanfic and writing have been a big part of that #anyways. shoutout to #james wilson #most recent blorbo ive tried to trans the gender of. i think ill be able to finish this fic though lol. #trans #coming out #fandom #fanfic #personal #queer #lgbtqia

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, going into your WIP pile to actually go through it and see what you actually want to finish can be really helpful, especially when you don't judge yourself and try to learn why that piece became a hibernater in your WIP pile

Some questions I ponder when I look at a WIP is:

Is this project turning out how I want? If not, what about it don't I like?

Do I or did I have fun when I was starting it?

Will I actually use it or enjoy it when I'm done?

Do I like the material now?

Do I see myself enjoying the product after it's done?

Were there, or are there, time restraints preventing me from finishing?

Is this out of my current skill set, and am I okay with that?

If I could change one thing about the WIP, what would it be?

I know plenty of people won't incorporate this into their own WIP and crafting journey, and that's okay. But I know so many people who hibernate their projects for many reasons and feel guilty about it. I hope this might give people ideas about why they hibernate projects to prevent that type of guilt from eating away at their conscious. This (creating) should be fun, and if you're spending a lot of time feeling guilty or ashamed, it can be hard to continue doing the things you like.

#art #fiber art #knit #crochet #(but this applies to a Lot of crafts and skills and whatnot. i direct it towards knit and crochet because that's what i had in mind) #honestly i think i'm going to frog one of my WIPs because i just don't want it anymore #i don't like the pattern or the method it calls for and i don't like the acrylic material it recommended either #freeing yourself in the way you keep and permanently retire a WIP can be really healing i think #because then you can accept that you have the *right* to refuse to complete something which doesn't spark joy #i think many times people hibernate projects which spark anxiety or frustration for whatever reason #so sometimes you hibernate a project because you are anxious about not having the 'right' level of skill to complete it for instance #that's a generalization but i found personally that exploring *why* i hibernate things can lead me where i want to be... #...and lead me to explore what it is that fulfills my creativity in the way it needs to be honed #there is NOTHING wrong with never finishing or frogging a piece. in fact i implore you to do it if you want