#that being said i just went Over There

[taxinealkaloids]

harrianthe + sewing (variations on a theme)

#tlt #my art #you sew a girl's lips shut she sews you a dress...reciprocity is so important in relationships <3 #ianthe when harrow pulls out her quote unquote enormous needles: haha so do you just carry those around with you 😳 #no but for real imagine being ianthe at the end of gtn and you're on God's shuttle and it's just you and this nun who you don't really know #but who you're maybe into #and then she comes over and apropos of nothing is like 'alright i want you to lobotomize me #but first you'll have to let me sew your lips shut.' #and this is the most consecutive words this girl has ever said to you. #like yeah how DO you deal with that sort of cognitive whiplash? i feel like #ianthe's snap decision to marry her was as valid as any other reaction one might have had. #also i went so hard on drawing ianthe's room in the first one for literally no reason. #me detailing swans to tastefully obscure cyrus's junk in a background portrait i plan to blur beyond recognition anyway: i may be #overdoing this.

[fisheito]

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo. #says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking #my immediate thought was #i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him #bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent #but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally #it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched.... #so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti. #configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying #the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias #then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought #i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him #AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND #originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went #WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN #BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing. #plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS #but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it #i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding #so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown #i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said #kuya #yakumo #yakuya

[sysig]

Can you please draw Edgar and Johnny stargazing or something like that

Day 8 - Stargazing

#My art #Requestober #Vargas #Nny #Edgar #I actually went and looked up what constellations are most visible around this time of year lol #I've never gone looking for Pegasus :0 I wonder how much we can see from here #Gotta be a clear night for it! Chilly #So cold that their noses have gone red haha - they're all bundled up but that car hood has to be freezing #I super didn't want to draw a car so I mostly cheated lol ♪ It's close enough! #I could've drawn them on a late-night picnic I guess but them laying on the hood of the car is just the Most Correct y'know? #They're gonna be frozen solid once they're done lol #Oh no however will they warm up lol #That said they're not even touching while sitting out here haha ♪ Nny doesn't like it! His arm is fully over his waist! #Did Nny have the beanie or did he borrow it? Who's to say #Edgar would have a matching scarf to go with his favourite shirt tho he's a dork like that <3 #Same reason he'd know which constellation Nny's pointing at like that - bookish nerd ♥ #Gosh this one was close to being posted outside of the usual 2:30 time! Hopefully that won't be a theme #Wish me luck ♫

[zeb-z]

“Red team was so selfish looking past the cursed team like that” listen man they were thinking about it often, and had evidence they were cursed too. They were convinced they were cursed too. Bad (with Pierre’s help I’ll be honest) singlehandedly destroyed any sort of civil relations and good faith between the two teams and this shot Blue in the foot when they tried to make the case about them being cursed last minute, about trying to rig it in the cursed teams favor.

There was never a cursed team in the first place, it was all a tactic to build paranoia and that feeling of betrayal and to get them to tear eachother a part. And it worked super well! At the end, neither would listen to the other about their evidence, not with an honest open ear, not with the willingness to think the other team could be cursed. It’s not a case of ‘Red just refused to listen because they wanted to win more than they cared’ they thought they were cursed too - if they were selfish, then so were Blue in the same way.

Every time Red had tried to talk first early on, it was met with extreme violence - and with Bad consistently proving he’ll play dirty to win, they didn’t trust Blue enough to listen to them in the later game. Maybe they should have listened then. Maybe Blue have listened earlier. The game worked as intended to set them against eachother.

#link is to another post I made back when they were debating about the cursed teams in purgatory and why red couldn’t trust blue and blue #couldn’t believe red. they were both stuck #and bless Tubbo he tried. he did try. but he was just as convinced he was right as Phil at the end. it was about convincing one another #more than it was about coming together and piecing together the evidence. yknow what I mean? they all cared about it but because of tension #and they also could not trust blue. which sucks because that’s hardly Tubbo’s fault but yknow #I dunno. it’s not simple like that. it’s not a case of red blowing it off being selfish not caring. they also thought they were cursed #AGAIN I’ll say it again bad burning bridges fucked a lot of them over for when diplomacy had to win because there could not be benefit of #the doubt or good faith or any sort of trust #it’s not just cut and dry red wanted to win more or blue wanted to win more. it was complicated and had way more factors #red thought they were cursed too!! they had solid evidence for this too!! #and like. again it’s a case of both parties kinda suck purgatory sucked it was always going to be like that because the game worked as #intended #idk. blue should have listened to red early on. red should have listened to blue later on. they were never going to do that on either side #idk from Tina’s pov it’s understandable why she said what she said. but knowing the others pov and what actually went down that’s not what #happened at all yknow? #they’re all gonna be feeling the effects of ‘we killed and betrayed eachother for two weeks’ for a while to come #mcyt #qsmp #qsmp purgatory #z speaks

[justaz]

kagami who drops in and woos adrien agreste but has everyone turn their back on her for breaking up their beautiful adrienette (even tho they weren’t even dating and adrien showed little signs of being interested in marinette)

marinette who went out with chat noir once and pictures of the two of them circulated and almost the entirety of paris hating her guts for breaking up their beautiful ladynoir (even tho they weren’t even dating and ladybug showed little signs of being interested in chat noir)

marinette and kagami bonding over being demonized for liking a boy and the fact that misogyny won that day.

anyways. my point is. marigami. thank you. goodnight.

#i don’t even actually ship them #but the thought of them being hated on for pulling paris’ most eligible bachelors #and then bonding over said experience #becoming really REALLY close friends #special friends even #who kiss #because who needs boys? #marigami #screaming along to sabrina carpenter’s all because i liked a boy #marinette dupain cheng #kagami tsurugi #adrien agreste #chat noir #marichat #adrigami #truthfully. in my mind. it went more like kagami developing a crush on marinette but marinette just letting her love life wither #she’s an independent woman #running her own business #men ain’t shit #while kagami is like #😍 uh huh uh uhuh what else 🥰 #mlb #miraculous ladybug #poor ​adrien is standing off to the side riddled with guilt #LMAOOO #i was listening to all because i liked a boy while thinking of them and this happened 🤭

[daily-hanamura]

#p4 #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #p4g #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #just yosuke expressing worry about his partner being sick :) #having said that do you think he feels guilty about going home even when yu looked unwell when he went over to visit #yosuke secretly blaming himself because it was probably his fault that yu ended up sick right after he has yosuke over #it's probably him going to work and having some random person sneeze on him and instead of sanitising his jacket he went over to see yu #haha just kidding i'm sure yosuke doesn't mentally torment himself like that :) #but seriously i love how when push came to shove yosuke trusted teddie to look after yu on his behalf #yosuke talks a lot of shit but he and teddie have such a good relationship AAAAh #he's good with his queue

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[mewtwo24]

Okay but like. Two things about the volume 8 statue [redacted] chapter.

Firstly. By god no amount of "yeah it was unhinged" comments on this website prepared me for whatever the fuck that was. I need at least 5 business days to process.

Second, was I the only one who read that scene as:

Hua Cheng, teeming with self-satisfaction to see Mu Qing near writhing with scorned disgust and fury: this was a 100% successful trip

Xie Lian: our statues are fucking in Mu Qing's palace oh god oh fuck what do you m e a n successful

Hua Cheng, smirk getting even bigger: this was a 100% successful trip

#tgcf #volume 8 spoilers #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #mu qing #hua cheng really out here like 'it's called christening the heavens with our love which is more than you lot deserve.' #nothing could have prepared me for how that scene played out #hua cheng how does it feel to win every single day of your deceased life #mf thought he was going to be humiliated in front of his lifelong crush/sworn love #only to instead watch one of his love rivals tangentially humiliated by XL's (hualian POST-COITAL) overwhelming spiritual power no less #I have never witnessed a bigger W in my life holy shit the way that boomeranged #I just can't get over how funnily hc's built I swear to god it ends me every time #mfer was born and literally nobody liked that. baby boy suffers for most of his life #fast forward to ghost hc. master of cataclysmic power and protecting his loving failwife (who is basically full of aged weird girl energy) #said weird girl energy being hc's salvation because xl saw him feral and unhinged and legit went 'i like him i'll let him tear up the couch #for 800 y e a r s hc pined and nourished his love--waiting for his opportunity #thusly leaving every single one of his competitors for xl's attention in the dust (not that they were much to write home about) #hc is like the definition of 'bide your time and fucking destroy' #i don't care what anyone says he's legitimately one of the coolest characters i've ever seen #i also can't get over hua cheng straight up being like 'xl in distress? we all know who this is a job for. M E' **builds hc statue** #without an ounce of hesitation #the way i love this mfer he's so sweet and so funny at the same time nobody doing it like him #i also love mxtx's passion for the dynamic of “GET RID OF HIM HE'S A MENACE” “no he just needs enrichment let him be" #why bingqiu and hualian will live forever in my heart

[yardsards]

also. amber gris as a character is really important to me as an appalachian.

not just her accent or the specific type of person justin based her off of but like

the feeling of losing someone to addiction/overdose while the government does nothing to help, just criminalizes and stigmatizes and makes things worse. which obviously happens in more places than just around here, but we have one of the highest rates of overdose death in the whole country and that whole set of scenes felt like they were really informed by growing up around that

#eliot posts #taz #taz ethersea #the adventure zone #amber gris #drugs cw #death mention #i've made posts like this and deleted them cuz i never feel like i'm wording it just right but just. god. #i'm lucky enough to have never been addicted or to have a best friend or immediate family member die from it #but i've lost or nearly lost extended family to it #and it's like. #my own accent isn't that thick and neither is my immediate family's or best friends' #but i've known ppl who talked like her. #specifically a man named larry who lived with us when we were real young #for some reason especially the way amber says ''come on'' just always reminds me so strongly of larry's voice. he said that phrase a lot #he was the one who taught me to tie my shoes even after my parents lost patience with me for being 'too old' to not understand #he drank excessively like my dad did but he never got mean with us kids #he came and went a few times over the years. the final time he left was when i was in late elementary #he died of an overdose when i was in high school. i didn't feel much of anything at the time. #it had been so long since i'd seen him but also i was at a point in my life where i'd've been numb to big emotions like that anyway #so my parents got drunk about it and i did nothing. just went to school and shit as usual. #i did not expect those feelings to get dredged up by a goddamned comedy dnd podcast #but they did it well i think #even though i had to pause it to take a breather multiple times. i enjoyed it overall. cathartic i guess?

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[falconfeather23435]

Everyone discussing whether or not Clone X is Cody or Tech or just some rando, & I just wanna say

PLEASE let it not be Cody, don’t turn our goodest boy into THAT

#ff speaks #see the issue is that both are plausible #& at this point i want it to be neither #like PLEASE don’t turn Cody into that; not him not Cody just let him go AWOL #which is ANOTHER THING; Rampart said Cody went AWOL which means Cody left of his own volition #if we hear ‘oh yeah Cody the goodest boy got captured & sent to Tantiss & failed to resist reconditioning’ i will have a stroke #like are you kidding? Cody? not resisting reconditioning? i doubt it #listen they took tup & they took fives & they took tech & they took fox & they took jesse & they took kix & hardcase & hevy & waxer #TAKE NO MORE I BEG OF YOU; LEAVE HIM ALONE JUST LET CODY GO AWOL I’LL TAKE THAT OVER HIM BEING CLONE X #tbb #the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #ff speaks in the tags #tbb s3 #tbb s3 spoilers #the bad batch s3 #the bad batch s3 spoilers #tbb season 3 #the bad batch season 3 #tbb season 3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #star wars #star wars tbb #clone x #tbb clone x #commander cody #tbb tech

[advisortotheadvisor]

I like the subtle indications that everything Miguel says about "Canon events" is kind of bullshit

like miles is an anomaly who wasn't supposed to be Spiderman- yet his story beats align with spiderman's and his dimension is still stable despite these anomalies

he says Miles messed up by saving the police captain in pavitr's universe - but the captain never would've been in danger if it weren't for the anomalies

#across the spiderverse #mine. #across the spiderverse spoilers #idk WHAT went wrong in pavitr's universe or that one universe where miguel took over his alt self's life #but its not the reason he said #someone else has already said this but its not suffering or being bitten that makes you spiderman #its just choosing to be spiderman #ugh. this movie. i need beyond the spiderverse NOW

[kaidabakugou]

the new girl at one of my favorite bakeries called me pretty this morning and it literally melted all my stress away 🥺

#kai.rambles #i was feeling sad bc my grandma is in the hospital and when i went to visit her they wouldn’t let me pass bc my license is expired #which okay ik that’s my fault but i took my passport with me just in case and the guy straight up told me that it wasn’t a valid form of id #and im like yeah tf it is ITS A PASSPORT and he said no #and while i was waiting for my mom to come down to the lobby an old lady came in and he turned her away for the same thing #and dudeee okay you turn me away fine fuck off but an old ladyyy??? at that age they don’t pay attention to that just let her pass #and then he argued with another woman bc she brought a flower arrangement and it had water so he couldn’t allow it HELLOOO??!? #so i had to leave and went to go get breakfast for my mom at least bc she stayed the night and i was supposed to stay the day #and when i came back to give her the food she told me that the nurse that was with my grandma asked what happened bc she wasn’t expecting #my mom to return and when my mom told her she immediately got so angry bc that same guy #didn’t allow her and a couple other nurses to bring in a cake for one of the residents #who’s birthday is today and they had a full on argument this morning #so it was all in all awful and now my mom has been there for more than 20 hours until later tonight when my aunt goes over :( #anyway this turned into a whole rant im sorry but im so mad bc i know for a FACT that a passport is a valid form of id #and he was just being a fkn dick #but the girl called me pretty and it took some stress off and she really liked my blush #and i liked hers so we had a little makeup 101 exchange and it was so nice at least 🥺 #and i have a couple cute asks to answer that have made my day as well so i’ll get to those in a few 🥰

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing #painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her #i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but #the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach #streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow #im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected #i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes #not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her #how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want #her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest #but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b #so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so #much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming #i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby #unrelated

[front-facing-pokemon]

#drapion #for lack of more interesting things to say abt drapion i'm gonna tell you about my day today #today was my first day heading to a local elementary school and teaching some kids. and i don't feel like it went very well #i've never thought of myself as being very good with kids but today kinda solidified that. we went over time and somehow they all convinced #me that every single one of them won the game i tried to do and i just believed them. i guess. kids are very persuasive #i told the next group that and one of them literally said “we're kids‚ so” and i was like SHIT. THEY'RE SELF-AWARE #it was also hard not to swear in front of them just bc i am not very good at not swearing. typically i have very little filter

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

nothing like a call from your mother to make that escapism feel extra sweet

#oops vent post Look Away Look Away i am once again bleeding all over my blog #ohhhhh boy am i gonna get Creatively Active tonight #we love to see my living situation crash and burn oh boy oh boy #i get three more months and then!!! back into the fire i go! #and the frying pan was just starting to get cozy.... #well! time to brush up on my masking and acting skills #absolutely unprompted #yknow it was actually funny #i went on a walk right after that call #and it felt like i was in a fucking movie. symbolism was ever #literally stood and stared at the 'no connection' street sign for a solid two minutes #feeling the Irony #then a black cat stopped and stared at me from down the road? #and a hummingbird flew over to look me in the eye?? #walked under an apple tree but every single apple was rotting??? #a fly decided to land on me for a split second and then flew away? felt Ominous #didnt see a raven though so thats a plus. or a minus. im not superstitious and i love ravens #plus side of being forced to move: i get to keep both of my cats and ill no longer be in this damn state. #negatives: living with my mom. her boyfriend. two dogs. in a state i strongly dislike. with no positive connections. in a basement. #its gonna be so fun! (sarcastic. lying. said through gritted teeth) #agh sorry sorry #once again treating tumblr like my personal diary #just. sigh. #well if i get a job right away and save up #maybe ill be able to find somewhere with roommates! #people my ageish! fellow queers perhaps! somewhere welcoming #where i can relax and feel Understood and perhaps even content with being alive #where i have room to not just force the love of existence but truly Feel it #i have hope! i have hope... i am miserable but one day! i may not be! #ive waited and survived this long! ill make it! i will fucking make it i swear to god