#that doesn't mean they aren't still good points but they don't apply the same way

[wc-confessions]

I want to preface this confession by saying very big age gaps are a major squick for me in shipping, but I *still* think the Warriors fandom can be a bit. Weird about them?

Like. I see so many things of ppl being like "UGH, [insert ship] is SO problematic bcus it has an ENORMOUS age gap and [older cat in relationship] is a TOTAL CREEP even if they pursued [younger cat in relationship] as an adult!!!"

And then I'm like "Wow rly? Sounds terrible! Just how big is this age gap?"

So I look it up. And then it's like. Twelve moons.

You folks realize that's... twelve *moons*, not years, right? This is a one year age gap, not twelve. A one year age gap is *nothing*

One could argue that it is a big age gap, or should be considered one (bcus the canon series doesn't care about age gaps at all lol) by the standards of Warriors society, bcus the commonly accepted average age of becoming a warrior is 12 moons, meaning that the younger cat would be born by the time the older cat would be considered an adult

Which, yeah, does sound a bit weird when you put it into that light. But if that's enough to consider the ship "problematic," you have an extremely limited pool of "good" ships, so limited to the point where it rly wouldn't make sense for the long run of the series

You're telling me that cats' only eligible partners are ones who are born within, like, less than six moons of them, if they wanna consistently stay in the same life stage? What are the odds of a good match happening within that pool? What if the uncommon situation of a cat being the only one in that age range occurs (ex: Birchpaw (Birchfall) in The New Prophecy), are they just supposed to never get a mate no matter how badly they may want to (if they don't want a mate, awesome, and a convenient coincidence, but if they do)? What if all the cats in that range just so happen to be somehow related?

The warrior cats, despite how anthropormorphized they are, still aren't humans, and mature at a different rate than humans, so one being an adult at the same time as one being a young child and then pursuing each other later in life, a year between them (WHEN THEY'RE BOTH CONSENTING ADULTS!!!), has a way different connotation than it does for humans, who would have to have an age gap of over eighteen years (in the US for me, age of consent may be different elsewhere) in order for that to be the case

I get being grossed out by age gaps, I am too, but I genuinely don't feel like an age gap of one year or so is anything to freak out over the way so many ppl do. If that's your limit then there's hardly a ship that's not "creepy" in terms of age gaps. If you're fine with that, whatever, but you might be surprised by what ships you may like that have an age gap of that size

For me, personally, an age gap bigger than roughly three years is when I start feeling squicked (in Warriors shipping specifically), but it varies from ship to ship, and ymmv of course (and of course this only applies if they pursued each other when they were both adults)

But point being I think the Warriors fandom should rethink what's considered a "big" age gap bcus no small amount of the ones I see accused of being that aren't that at all, not by my personal standards at least

.

#text #anonymous #confession #warrior cats

[pandoraslxna]

Sweet like Cherry — Chapter 5

Miles Quaritch x female scientist reader

Words: 6.3k

Summary: Miles has a secret admirer and apparently, she has a thing for photography.

Warnings: explicit smut, age gap, size difference, alcohol consumption, somehow all men are assholes in this chapter, taking advantage of a drunk reader, cat calling, spanking, rough oral (f receiving), jealousy, possessive behavior, minimal dub-con warning, gambling, biting, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, virgin reader, obsession, authority kink, power play, corruption kink

There's a good reason as to why you don’t talk about personal things with your coworkers.

The problem with most coworkers is, they either don’t know or don’t care about someone’s boundaries. They'll just do something like this because they think it’s a nice gesture, and you don’t understand the point when in reality, they just need another reason to get wasted on another saturday night.

Out of place didn’t even begin to cover the way you felt right now.

You knew parties could be fun and a good time for everyone. Not that you’ve been to many before. You just don’t want to be in the middle of this, can't stand the fact that all these people are clustered around, laughing and talking and celebrating you. It feels like a game of play pretend. You don’t even know half of these people that claim to be your friends. They’re not even coworkers, you think. A dozen of them you’ve never even seen before and you’re sure they don’t even work on the same floor as you.

Maggie is going to pay for this later, because she's the only one who could possibly have told them that it's your birthday, and you specifically told her you weren’t going to let her do anything for your birthday. But you should’ve known, the second she asked to do your make up, then stuffed you into this sinfully tight and entirely too short dress of hers because she convinced you it would be fun, and then coincidentally found a pair of heels to match the look.

You couldn’t actually be that stupid, could you? Obviously she had something planned for you, when she asked to spend the evening of your birthday with you for a coffee. Now that coffee turned out to be whatever liquor was filled into that plastic cup in your hand that was then downed with a loud, cheerful whoo of every women in the room because they convinced you that’s how it’s done at a party.

"Aren't you enjoying yourself even a litte?" Laura asks, looking a little like a puppy hoping for a treat as she watches you chew on the inside of your cheek, standing stiff like a rod in the far corner of the room. You’re almost a little disappointed in her, after you found out she helped planning all this. But you can’t be mad at her when she only means good. Apparently that’s what good cowork— friends. That’s what good friends are supposed to do for each other.

And even though you want to say no, you can't bring yourself to throw their kindness back in their faces. After all, they were the only ones that gave you a chance to prove that you could be more than just that nerd. That nerd that doesn’t even bother to make friends or go to parties, that nerd that doesn't even get invited to said parties because you’re no fun anyways.

You may have earned yourself that name, but it still stings to think too much about it. And maybe you don’t want to be that nerd forever. Maybe you want to let yourself enjoy this.

"Yes, I'm enjoying myself," you finally say, swallowing down a sigh.

"Then smile, and go dance with us!" Maggie nudges your side and you cringe at the thought of dancing in the center of the crowded room.

"Why?" You force out a laugh, even though the question is genuine.

"Is this going to be some kind of philosophy discussion?" The brunette rolls her eyes, and you can’t help but admire her talent in applying false eyelashes that long without poking her eyeballs out. "I wanna dance, that's why!"

"I don't dance."

"Everybody dances! You just move, and you're dancing. How easy is that?"

"No I mean, I don't dance. I spazz. It's painful to watch. Me, spazzing all over the floor…" Your voice has grown quieter with every word, until you’re nearly hiding yourself by taking another gulp of that bright yellow liquor in your cup.

It's sweet and fizzy and tastes like sunlight might if you could drink it, so you empty another cup.

Flashing lights give you a taste of what epilepsy might be like and you feel the music pounding through the air and floor caress your every nerve. You feel fuzzy.

But it seems to be a good fuzzy. Warm happiness flows through your body like thick honey. Okay, maybe that happiness was just this overly sweet tasting booze, but you still felt distant in a nice way, and your head seemed to be floating, only attached to your neck by a string. The feel of Maggie’s sweating hand wrapped around your wrist distracted you beyond words, until you realized she was trying to drag you somewhere.

"Well then, let’s find yourself some company so you don’t get bored while you don’t dance all night", she giggles.

The two of you wended your way across to the other side of the room despite every protest that came from you; dodging tables, drunks, dancers, and others with ease, until Maggie seemed to reach her destination with a proud smile on her face. A group of men, most of them as unfamiliar as the better half of people here.

One of them you knew, though. It was Phil from floor 3. G., that computer engineer that had earned himself the title of Maggie’s friend, but with certain… benefits. However by the way these two were looking at each other through that heavy drunken lust in their eyes, one could assume they were actually more than just that.

Shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you nervously nipped at your drink once again as Maggie introduced you to the group. A bunch of people that came to celebrate you, yet none of them even knew your name, you came to realize. Great. And if you weren’t slowly starting to feel very funny inside, that would’ve been just another reason for you to leave this party immediately, slip into your favorite pjs and call it a night.

"So, twenty-six, huh?" One of the men smiles and lifts his drink in a toast, gently tipping the cup against yours which snaps you out of your trance. Looking up, you’re met with long, silky curls that framed a slightly tanned and politely smiling face. Your eyes skimmed over his frame for a split second. His body was...compact, lean, firm, though not overly muscular. Just an average looking guy.

"Yep", you clear your throat and send the man an awkward smile that he answers with a chuckle.

"I‘m Ben", he says and for a second, you hesitate to take his hand that he holds out for you to shake. "Nice to meet you."

The impact of that barest of touches, a mere whisper of skin-against-skin as you shake his hand and he squeezes yours, was enough to send blood rushing to your cheeks. His hands are soft, too soft, you think. Ironically, that makes you think about the dozen times a day lately when you had caught yourself thinking about Quaritch‘s hands. His are rough, big and warm, littered in tiny scars that you could feel when he caressed your skin or when he held you in a bruising grip.

The ones that had you concentrate very hard, to not beg him to touch you, on running those fingers across your body. His hands weren’t soft like Bens, who probably worked behind a desk and spent most of his times indoors, preferably in an office of some sorts.

Ben was also polite, you realized right away. He held small talk like it was second nature to him, even though you couldn’t help the awkwardness in the beginning. But his voice is smooth like honey and his jokes actually manage to make you laugh. Genuinely.

But by the time you had emptied your next cup, you couldn’t even seem to focus on the conversation anymore. Everything had turned into a blur of movements around you, and you were grateful for Bens guiding hand as he placed a glass of water into one of yours and took the empty red cup from the other.

"Here, drink this", he said with a chuckle, "Can’t have the birthday girl pass out this early on her special day, right?"

For a moment that seemed endless to you but for anyone near sober it must’ve been nothing more than a few seconds, your eyes lingered on him. Ben was cute, you thought. Not that kind of puppy cute that could make you go aww and ruffle through his hair, but that kind that made you blush and feel hot all over. He was handsome too. For an average guy. But then again, you’re just an average woman, are you not? And kindness, real kindness, was something you suddenly felt very starved for, especially now that it was served to you on a silver platter.

Suddenly it felt as if that hunger was beginning to burn out of control. As if he could sense your feelings, Ben moved just a little closer, the heat from his body searing your skin as he placed a hand to your upper arm and tilted his head.

"Y-Yes, no, i mean–", you stutter, quickly adverting your gaze from him to the glass of water in your hand. "You’re right. Sorry, i didn’t mean to zoom out like that, it’s just been… it’s just been a week for me and normally I don’t drink. Not that much, at least."

His hand moves in a soothing motion, up and down on your arm as he listens attentively. Ben tells you that you have nothing to apologize for. He asks about your work, your studies. He nods along and smiles to everything you say and it makes you feel appreciated, on a level you can’t remember ever feeling before.

It takes an embarrassing amount of time for you to realize that you’re rambling about your work life. And it takes you even longer to realize that through it all, Bens hand hasn’t moved away. That all it did was move up, up, up until he reaches to cup your jaw, his thumb stroking over your cheek just as you explain to him how the the Pamtseowll can be used as a musical instruments due to the sound produced when the wind moves across the leaves of the plant. Looking back you realized, that must’ve been pretty boring for him to listen to, especially since Ben decided to cut you off mid sentence as he pressed his booze tasting lips against yours.

You’re taken aback from the sudden invasion of your personal space, especially when Ben wraps his arm around your middle and pulls you flush against him. But the alcohol in your system makes up for that pretty quickly, heat rushing up to your face and simultaneously between your thighs makes you feel tingly all over.

His tongue pushes past your lips and you gasp into the kiss, the cup in your hand almost slipping out of your grasp as you lean into it.

The allure of cruising for a quick fuck, or possibly hustling for one; no commitment, no strings makes itself known when a soft sigh, almost a whimper, escapes you. It could be so easy, you think. You could do it tonight and get it over with.

You had to do something about this, this feeling whatever it was, get it out of you.

And his lips already fit so perfect against yours, but that’s really the problem, isn’t it? They’re not too big or too small. His hands can’t close entirely around your upper arm. His chest is basically flush with yours. God, you’re almost eye level with him. He’s so normal, so average. It doesn’t feel special with him. There’s no spark behind his kiss, it doesn’t consume you, it doesn’t take your breath away. He doesn’t make you feel special.

No. This wasn't a good idea.

It was no use, picking a man that wasn't even going to be able to fill in for the one you actually wanted. The one who’s hands you wished were touching you now, instead of Bens. The one who’s lips you wanted on yours, so desperately, you couldn’t even stop imagining it were his instead.

Fuck it, you thought. If he could seek you out to find some temporary relief, so could you. And you needed one, needed him, before you did something you would surely regret in the morning.

Bens face was so close, you had to blink a few times to bring it into focus before you gave him a subtle little push and his lips finally detached from yours.

It must’ve been the sudden change of your facial expression, but he suddenly found the need to apologize for kissing you so sudden, so unsolicited.

"No, no, it’s not that. I just need some fresh air, I feel a little nauseous", you admitted sheepishly, which was both, the truth and a lie. You tried not to pay too much attention to the guilty look in Bens face as you excused yourself and quickly found a way to the exit without anyone taking notice of you, basically ditching your own party.

By now, you could make the walk through the dimly lit hallways to Quaritchs room in your sleep. Or, in this case, drunk and on uncoordinated feet.

Anticipation fills your hazed mind and with an enthusiastic thud, your knuckles connect with the metal frame, producing a muffled echo as you knock on his door.

Heart pounding rapidly in your chest, you eagerly wait for him to open, but the silence that follows is deafening. The realization slowly dawns on you that the Colonel isn't home and a mix of disappointment and frustration crosses your face. But you won’t give up that easily. If he’s not here, there’s only one place he could be at this time of the night.

Two floors up and down the corridor on the left, you could already see light beaming under the comically large door, loud voices and laughter echoing through the hallways that could already be heard as you had exited the elevator earlier.

Peaking into the common room that belonged to team Deja blue, you were greeted by a vibrant atmosphere where you knew the military men gathered to unwind after work. The space was adorned with patriotic decor, displaying flags, emblems, and photographs that reflect their shared commitment as well as their love for barely dressed na’vi pin up girls sitting on tanks and posing with guns. How ironic.

The air carries the smell of smoke and beer, and the musky scent of the day's work and you can’t help but shudder. Your inner warning sirens were working overtime as you stepped foot into the room, fear making your knees go weak, yet every sense of logic and common sense was overtuned by the alcohol buzzing through you. The room exuded a sense of unity, one you clearly didn’t belong to, making you stick out like a sore thumb.

Uniformed recombinant soldiers were relaxing on comfortable couches, their boots resting on coffee tables, engage in heated games of pool or cards -everything maximized to their ridiculous size.

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for the first pair of eyes to land on your much smaller frame, before nudging the recom next to them with their elbow, pointing at you with their chin.

You try to ignore their boring gazes, the sound of low whistles and snickering picking up the more of them realized your presence. Pulling your sinfully short dress a little down lower, a feeling of regret fills your cheeks in a dark blush. But before you can change your mind and turn around to exit, a large palm settles on your lower back, keeping you from walking backwards out of the room.

"Hey doll face, where ya‘ going?"

Craning your neck up, you’re met with a grin that belonged to a recom that had a pair of sunglasses resting on top of his bald head. You knew he seemed familiar, but the liquor you had consumed earlier made it impossible to concentrate enough to remember his name.

"Oh excuse me, I- I‘m– I was just, uhm, looking for Colonel Quaritch?" You winced at the way you made it sound like a question, cursing yourself for embarrassing you by drunkenly rambling to a stranger.

"The Colonel?" He exchanged a look over his shoulder with some of the other soldiers, who were seemingly interested in what you had to say. "Why’s that, buttercup?"

"I, uhm, want to give him something", you improvise. "It’s urgent." That much was true.

The man looks you up and down for a moment, his eyes nearly peeling the little dress from your body as he takes you in, brows raised high.

"Give him something, huh? Why don’t you give that little something to me?" He laughs.

"He’s not here right now, but we can have good time together too", one of the others calls from behind.

You swallow the lump in your throat, awkwardly picking at your fingernails as your hands begin to shake. Deciding to back off and step back from the whole situation, you set one foot behind the other, already preparing yourself to mumble an embarrassing excuse before an arm wraps itself around your waist and you nearly stumble forward and into one of the soldiers arms.

"C‘mere pretty, I don’t bite", he grins, then points his chin to the bald soldier on his right, "But the Corporal over there sure does."

The men laugh and shove each other like a group of rowdy teenagers, and you’re honestly scared one of them could accidentally crush you if they fell. You use the short moment of chaos to wriggle yourself out of the soldiers grasp, only to be stopped short by your wrist.

"C‘mon short stuff, don’t leave", the bald one shows you an almost apologetic smile that you still struggle to trust. "Ignore these fuckers. Stay for a drink, yeah? I‘m sure the Colonel will be back in a minute. And we have the best beer anyone could get in this shit hole!"

Blame it on the liquor, but your mind was slowly beginning to draw blank, throwing all logic and consequences right out of the window and welcoming the nervous excitement of the forbidden. It felt like there was a pressure in your ribcage, making it harder for you to breathe properly, until you finally exhaled a shaky response.

"Just one."

The thing about working in the military is that you learn to kill your own tells. Killing your own tells is what keeps you from getting that double-tap to the back of the head. But learning how to pick up on what other people do when they're nervous as fuck, that's what’s really helpful, you’ve only just realized.

In hindsight, you should have known that agreeing to one beer that ultimately lead to two more and then to a round of poker was a bad idea. And now you’re perched up on someone’s lap and you don’t even know how poker works. That someone is named Lyle, you remind yourself of the previous learned name. His chin rests on top of your shoulder, nose buried in your shared cards that you hold up for him to see, one of his hands squeezing your hip while the other holds your hands steady.

"This one next," he whispers into your ear, pointing at the card on the far left before you laid it down in front of the table as instructed.

"Three fours showing, and over here…" The recom named Prager slaps another card down face-up in front of you. "Still garbage, sorry sweets. Ace high." Grinning, he pushes three colorful plastic chips into a pile in the middle of table. "I bet three."

The rest of the group remains silent, save for the sound of grinding teeth and stressed sighs.

The nervous trembling of your thighs doesn’t let up when the next round of cards is handed out, so you reach for the can of oversized beer and gulp the rest of it down.

"Relax, buttercup," Lyle chuckles, his hand soothing over your thigh, "You need to work on hiding your tells. You don’t want us to loose, do you?"

"Yeah but ya’ gonna if she keeps that up, Wainfleet," another soldier laughs.

"Poor thing is shaking so much, you might as well bet her next to finally get a lucky streak."

Crimson red fills the apple of your cheeks, barely visible however under the alcohol-induced flush of your skin. But even though your senses are as if in daze and directed at what is happening in front you, you still got enough situational awareness to realise that there’s someone standing in the doorway watching with a tense jaw.

"You gotta be careful," that someone says, the words flowing like nothing ever has, making the hair rise on the nape of your neck. "Betting another man's things like that."

And it should bother you, how easily he can categorize you as one of his things, like a gun or whatever fucking possessions he had, but it doesn't, because you are his. Aren’t you?

"Ah, boss", Lyle laughs, and you may not be a marine or recombinant or anything of the sort, but you could tell that he was nervous. Silence bleeds over the rest of team Deja blue as the Colonel steps into the room, sending cards go flying as he yanks you up by your wrist and throws you over his shoulder like a dead deer. Prey.

You squeak once the room has turned upside down, hands instinctively reaching for the hem of your dress to keep it in place as soldiers ogled the way Quaritch was walking you out of the room without another word and marched down the hallway.

The amount of times you’ve found yourself in his room could be counted on one hand, you came to realize, once you’re thrown onto his bed, almost bouncing off the oversized mattress.

A finger is pointed at you, and shame and dread uncontrollably fill your eyes with tears that dare to spill over as Quaritch barks at you like he’s lecturing a child.

"You listen here very careful, kid", he’s damn near yelling, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

Kid.

Being now twenty-six years of age, you certainly took a degree of offense when a man his age still called you 'kid.' There wasn't much childish about you, never have been. Not in the last ten years, so there was no need for him to go running his mouths at you like you were twelve.

Balling your fists at your side, you barked right back at him, "I‘m not a child!"

For several seconds, there was nothing, and you wondered if you’d truly fucked up this time, and you don’t even dare to look up at the man towering over you like a mountain. That is, until the bed suddenly dips and a hand effortlessly closes around your wrist and manhandles you to bend over his lap.

You would squirm and fight and run if it weren't for the iron grip on your wrists, pinning them behind your back like the wings of a butterfly to a board.

"That’s right," he murmurs that part, but the rest comes out more sternly, "So quit actin‘ like one whenever something doesn’t go your way!"

The first blow of his hand descended onto your upturned ass comes so sudden and unexpected, sending you sliding forward over the muscular thigh you were bent over, that you couldn’t help but yelp, before you sucked in a sharp gasp of air as the sting spread through you. "What the— fuck!" You hissed. "What are you even talking about!?"

"What am I talking about?" Quaritch scoffs.

You barely forced yourself to relax when the next one came, making you jump, and duck your head down even lower in a vain attempt to scoot farther away from his hand.

"I can smell the liquor all over you, hun. And the way you were throwing yourself at these little creeps? Don’t act dumb with me. You and I both know damn well what you were trying to do here."

"Y-You’re imagining things!" You protest. Another slap, and this time you could feel the smooth fabric of your dress riding up, giving him unhindered access to the tender flesh beneath. "Fuck, that hurt, you–"

Blow after blow came over you, cutting off every complain and every thought that might’ve formed if you could concentrate enough, and you might have tried counting them but there were so many. Too many, and your ass was burning and suddenly you wanted nothing more than to say you were sorry, you'd never do it again, and maybe the Colonel would stop soon and you could just promise to be good—

But he didn't stop and you heard the smack again and one more landed, and god damn it really fucking hurt. You only realised you had started speaking aloud, babbling apologies and begging for it to stop when fingers ran over your panties, feeling for your throbbing clit beneath the thin fabric.

"Tell me, would you’ve spread your legs for them like you did for me? Thought you could just take what you want because I’m not giving it to you?"

One hand squeezed and molded a cheek, and you moaned as he groped the overly sensitive flesh. If you could gather enough strength to crane your neck and look at him, you would’ve caught the way his ears flicked at the sound of that.

Another slap, this time aimed a little lower, more gentle, with fingertips brushing over your folds at the impact and you let out another moan, less like a painful one and more in a way that was so unmistakable, that when you felt the thigh you laid on tense, you could only guess what was coming now.

"Does this turn you on, getting what you deserve?" Quaritch said lowly, the spanks stopping for a while in favor of torturing you with the barest of touches, rough fingertips flicking over that little bundle of nerves until you were whining and squirming.

"No," you then responded in a hushed whisper.

Pulling the fabric of your panties taunt, Miles gave you a mean wedgie as he inspected the wet patch forming right there. With a chuckle he told you, "you’re pretty little pussy is telling me otherwise."

"That’s– that’s not true!"

"Oh, it’s not? That means you did enjoy all this attention they gave you today, hm? You enjoyed having all these fuckers look at you like you’re candy they want to peel out of its wrapper?"

"I- No, I didn’t–"

Rough fingertips run up and down your slit, cutting you off mid sentence as you feel him pull your slip to the side.

"What were you even doing there?" His voice sounds calmer now, collected, as he thumbs your exposed clit.

"Was looking for you", you mumble, all fight gone the moment warm pleasure fills your veins the more he plays with you like this.

"For me?" Quaritch chuckles, brows raised high. "Why’s that?"

"You know why…" You groan when one of his digits that had been circling your entrance slides into you, painfully slow and teasing, just an inch before it slides out again.

"I do. But I want to hear you say it."

Biting your lip prevents you from giving in to his teasing, but it doesn’t help muffle the moan that’s slips out when he pushes back inside, letting you feel the stretch of your walls as they envelop not one, but two of his thick fingers.

"Missed me, hm?" He grins. You can’t see it from your position, but you can hear that shit eating grin in his voice. And then his fingers start to move. His palm smacks your ass with every thrust, fingers curling inside you to feel for that spongey little spot that made you gasp.

"C‘mon, say it."

He speeds up fast. Too fast for you to catch up with, forcing moans and wet squelching sounds out of you, until you huff out in frustration.

"Fuck, okay! Yes, I missed you." That one actually makes him laugh, enough for you to grind your teeth, turn your head and bark back at him, "And you’re an… you’re a jealous old man!"

"Yeah? That so?"

His eyes seem to pierce right through yours as he glances back at you, grin sharp and dangerous before he grabs you by the waist and spins you around so you’re pushed with your back against the mattress, instead of being uncomfortably bend over his thighs.

If there was one thing that was able to set the butterflies in your tummy alive and making them do little jumping jacks, it was the way Quaritch so easily manhandled you so you were bend like a pretzel, panty shoved down and over your ankles, who were now nearly touching your ears. It was harder to breathe like this, that was for sure. But you don’t mind the position one bit, especially with the view of him laying down flat on his stomach, head neatly nestled between your spread thighs as he admires the wet glossy look of your pussy just begging for him to finally fucking do something.

You had guys go down on you before. Two in total. And it wasn’t like they were necessarily bad at it, it was just that they apparently had learned one way to do it and then decided to stick with whatever that technique was called. And that’s when you decided that being on the receiving end of oral, it wasn’t really for you.

But with Quaritch, you knew from the very second the tip of his tongue parted your folds from your slit to your clit, that it was gonna be different.

It felt like the pleasure was shooting straight up your spine, making your back arch off the bed as he repeated the same motion once more, groaning when your slick juices hit his tastebuds.

"Holy shit", you let the words out in a shaky breath, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling above you.

"Eyes on me, cherry."

Glancing down on yourself, you catch the moment he spreads your folds with his thumbs to get better access to your clit that coyly peeks out from under its hood. Quaritch gives the little nub a teasing tap with his fingertip, and you both watch as a thin string of arousal and spit connect your clit with his finger before it breaks. Not even a split second later and he’s on you again.

You nearly choke on a moan when his lips close around your clit and sucks, his mouth halfway covering your whole cunt as he eats you out, tongue swirling around those sweet spots of yours. The noises he makes are wet, sloppy and so dirty, and it brings you to the edge of that pleasure high faster than you could process.

A hand reaches for his buzzed down hair as he gives you a filthy kiss right where you need it.

"Oh- Oh god, I think I’m gonna come", you moan as his hands slide up to hold you more open than you were before, so that he could taste you again and again, his tongue dipping deeper and deeper inside every time. Your hand curls tighter in his hair, tugging, and you worry for a moment that you were hurting him. Not that this was even possible. Still, you just couldn’t help it– touching him was the only thing anchoring you, as if you would float away and disappear if you‘d move your hands just an inch.

But Quaritch doesn't seem to mind, not if the way he groans, grinds his face against your pussy and thrusts his tongue deeper into you is anything to go by.

You could feel the pleasure growing inside you, in your toes and in your spine and behind your eyelids, and you arch against him, moaning at each touch of his tongue, his lips against your clit– sucking and slurping and kissing. It's building and you’re reaching for it, hips jerking violently as though to follow his mouth, and then you’re falling apart with a gasp that ebbs into a moan.

You don’t even hear yourself for the first couple of seconds, the blood rushing behind your ears drowning out the volume of your moans before your legs finally stop trembling and clenching around the head nestled between them.

Arms falling limp to your sides, you watch your own chest raising and falling in frantic pants. You’re spent and exhausted, truthfully. But you can’t help but notice that the wet glide of the Colonels tongue hasn’t stopped yet. It circles around your clit, not quite touching it, just teasing.

"Miles", you call for him, soft and quiet, voice hoarse from moaning. You’re not prepared for the sudden suction on raw nerves created by his puckered lips, and you cry out in surprise. Your legs twitch in overstimulation as he sucks and groans, the vibrations only adding further to the stimulation that quickly morphs from uncomfortable to pleasurable. "M-Miles, fuck! I- I can’t, wait!"

Your back nearly arches off the bed, if it weren’t for his his hands keeping you in place. It felt like his tongue was everywhere at once, licking every inch of your cunt, all those places that brought yet another orgasm rushing forward.

Unable to control the movements of your body, you pump your hips against his face as your stomach muscles clench and your head digs into the pillow underneath you.

"Can’t, I can’t", you mewl, "s‘too much!"

"No, you will take it", he says, barely lifting his head to speak and the air that blows out between his words send a full on body shiver through you. "You will take it because that’s what little sluts get. I‘m only giving you all this attention that you were seeking today and now you’re complaining?"

It takes a moment for you to find your voice.

"I‘m not- not a slut", you protest. Glancing down at Quaritchs face, his wet chin and lips slicked with you, his lips curl in diabolical pleasure.

"No? Then whose humping my face like this? Who’s been fucking dripping all over my thighs from being spanked, huh? Cherry, you are a little slut. A desperate one too."

His sharp tongue then flicks over your clit again, and you break into a thousand pieces. It feels so good you’re shaking, as red hot pleasure surges through your veins and clouds your vision. Your second orgasm ebbs away faster than the first, but is nonetheless as intense. The feel of sticky wet arousal soaking the sheets below you makes you cringe and you want to move away, but the iron grip he has on your thighs doesn’t falter. If anything, he just holds you more secure, pulls you closer, to press his tongue into you as far as it could reach.

"Oh god- please, I can’t!" You nearly sob, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes while Quaritch flattens his tongue to catch every droplet of slick running down your slit. "Give me a break!"

"One more," he purrs, dark and sinister, his sharp grin visible even as he peeks up from between your legs.

"I don’t know if I can," you whine, throwing your head back at the invitation of sensations that just don’t let up.

"You can and you will."

The pressure of his suction continues as he moves his tongue, trailing it along your lips and over to your clit again. He sucks the sensitive nub and then slides two fingers inside your body, curving them, increasing their pressure as your loud moans turn into screams.

Miles wraps his free arm around your waist, stilling your trembling hips and locking you in place. He increases the thrusts of his digits, rubbing intently against your walls as he sucks harder on your throbbing clit. He's determined to make you see stars and it’s for him to decide when this insanely pleasurable form of torture is finally over.

You could only hope, pray and moan to him, god or whoever– as you felt the beginning tremors of what you hoped would be your last orgasm for the night course through your body, and your legs clamp tightly, unable to withstand the sheer intensity of it.

Sensing the growing tension in your body, Miles suddenly pulls back, replacing his mouth with his thumb on your clit, stroking around the glands before touching it directly, causing you to cry out.

He grins, catching his breath, and then continues his assault on your body until you’re past the point of return, walls clenching around his fingers and thighs pressed firmly to his shoulders, framing his head.

It’s heat against heat, hot tongue against hotter folds, and you throw your head back and sob with relief. It’s good, really good— his tongue is long enough so that when he laps at you he hits your clit on the upswing every time. Your hips buck once its too much, his tongue nearly rubbing you raw but he holds you down and then it becomes just right as you fall apart with a cry.

It takes several minutes for your senses to come back together, regain your vision and hearing, and when you blink your sore eyes open, you’re met with Quaritch‘s, just as he’s finishing leaving a final mark on your inner thigh. His teeth have left a purplish imprint on your soft skin and he grins at you.

"You’re mine. Never forget that."

Taglist:

@littlesugarcube45 @hellok1ttycake @luvvsnae @ok-boke @mynameisbaby9 @vixorell @aduialwen @headsincloud9 @aconstructofamind @hotsingledragon @normsdaughter-alt @waiting4avatar @loaksulluyswife @mechformers @neteyamswillow @neteyamsyawntu @tallulah477 @hotdsworld @neteyamssyulang @byunpum @abcm18339 @eywaite @aperiraa @woodlandgirl22-blog-blog @puddle-nerd @luvv4j4ybe11 @loakstahni @neteyamsoare @ruyaas-world @minnory @xylianasblog @quaritchxwifewh0re @aria-tempest @justcaptiannoodles @neteyamyawne @loaksulluyswife @itchaboi-itchyboy @professional-yapper @ikeyniofthetayrangi @torukmaktoskxawng @taronyuhunter @yawnetu @talialobi @anemonelovesfiction @bambithewriter @tumblingdevils @danniackerman @witchsprit @rivatar @quarotch

Let me know if you want to be added / removed 🩵

#avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar 2 #atwow #avatar miles quaritch #colonel miles quaritch #miles quaritch #miles quaritch smut #miles quaritch x reader #miles quaritch x reader smut #atwow quaritch #avatar quaritch #colonel quaritch #colonel quaritch x reader smut #quaritch #quaritch smut #quaritch x reader #recom miles quaritch #recom quaritch

[cripplecharacters]

The Mask Trope, and Disfiguremisia in Media

[large text: The Mask Trope, and Disfiguremisia in Media]

If you followed this blog for more than like a week, you're probably familiar with “the mask trope” or at least with me complaining about it over and over in perpetuity. But why is it bad and why can't this dude shut up about it?

Let's start with who this trope applies to: characters with facial differences. There is some overlap with blind characters as well; think of the blindfold that is forced on a blind character for no reason. Here is a great explanation of it in this context by blindbeta. It's an excellent post in general, even if your character isn't blind or low vision you should read at least the last few paragraphs.

Here's a good ol’ tired link to what a facial difference is, but to put it simply:

If you have a character, who is a burn survivor or has scars, who wears a mask, this is exactly this trope.

The concept applies to other facial differences as well, but scars and burns are 99% of the representation and “representation” we get, so I'll be using these somewhat interchangeably here.

The mask can be exactly what you think, but it refers to any facial covering that doesn't have a medical purpose. So for example, a CPAP mask doesn't count for this trope, but a Magic Porcelain Mask absolutely does. Bandages do as well. If it covers the part of the face that is “different”, it can be a mask in the context used here.

Eye patches are on thin ice because while they do serve a medical purpose in real life, in 99.9% of media they are used for the same purpose as a mask. It's purely aesthetic.

With that out of the way, let's get into why this trope sucks and find its roots. Because every trope is just a symptom of something, really.

Roughly in order of the least to most important reasons...

Why It Sucks 

[large text: Why It Sucks]

It's overdone. As in — boring. You made your character visibly different, and now they're no longer that. What is the point? Just don't give them the damn scar if you're going to hide it. 

Zero connection with reality. No one does this. I don't even know how to elaborate on this. This doesn't represent anyone because no one does this.

Disability erasure. For the majority of characters with facial differences, their scars or burns somehow don't disable them physically, so the only thing left is the visible part… aaand the mask takes care of it too. Again, what's the point? If you want to make your disabled character abled, then just have them be abled. What is the point of "curing" them other than to make it completely pointless?

Making your readers with facial differences feel straight up bad. I'm gonna be honest! This hurts to see when it's all you get, over and over. Imagine there's this thing that everyone bullied you about, everyone still stares at, that is with you 24/7. Imagine you wanted to see something where people like you aren't treated like a freakshow. Somewhat unrealistic, but imagine that. That kind of world would only exist in fiction, right? So let's look into fiction- oh, none of the positive (or at least not "child-murderer evil") characters look like me. I mean they do, but they don't. They're forced to hide the one thing that connects us. I don't want to hide myself. I don't want to be told over and over that this is what people like me should do. That this is what other people expect so much that it's basically the default way a person with a facial difference can exist. I don't want this.

Perpetuating disfiguremisia. 

"Quick" Disfiguremisia Talk

[large text: "Quick" Disfiguremisia Talk]

It's quick when compared to my average facial difference discussion post, bear with me please.

Disfiguremisia; portmanteau of disfigure from “disfigurement” and -misia, Greek for hatred. 

Also known as discrimination of those mythical horrifically deformed people.

It shows up in fiction all the time; in-universe and in-narrative. Mask trope is one of the most common* representations of it, and it's also a trope that is gaining traction more and more, both in visual art and writing. This is a trope I particularly hate, because it's a blatant symptom of disfiguremisia. It's not hidden and it doesn't try to be. It's a painful remainder that I do not want nor need.

*most common is easily “evil disfigured villain”, just look at any horror media. But that's for another post, if ever.

When you put your character in a mask, it sends a clear message: in your story, facial differences aren't welcome. The world is hostile. Other characters are hostile. The author is, quite possibly, hostile. Maybe consciously, but almost always not, they just don't think that disfiguremisia means anything because it's the default setting. No one wants to see you because your face makes you gross and unsightly. If you have a burn; good luck, but we think you're too ugly to have a face. Have a scar? Too bad, now you don't. Get hidden.

Everything here is a decision that was made by the author. You are the one who makes the world. You are the person who decides if being disabled is acceptable or not there. The story doesn't have a mind of its own, you chose to make it disfiguremisic. 

It doesn't have to be.

Questions to Ask Yourself

[large text: Questions to Ask Yourself]

Since I started talking about facial differences on this blog, I have noticed a very specific trend in how facial differences are treated when compared to other disabilities. A lot of writers and artists are interested in worldbuilding where accessibility is considered, where disabled people are accepted, where neurodivergence is seen as an important part of the human experience, not something “other”. This is amazing, genuinely.

Yet, absolutely no one seems to be interested in a world that is anything but cruel to facial differences. There's no escapist fantasies for us.

You see this over and over, at some point it feels like the same story with different names attached.

The only way a character with a facial difference can exist is to hide it. Otherwise, they are shamed by society. Seen as something gross. I noticed that it really doesn't matter who the character is, facial difference is this great equalizer. Both ancient deities and talking forest cats get treated as the same brand of disgusting thing as long as they're scarred, as long as they had something explode in their face, as long as they've been cursed. They can be accomplished, they can be a badass, they can be the leader of the world, they can kill a dragon, but they cannot, under any circumstances, be allowed to peacefully exist with a facial difference. They have to hide it in the literal sense, or be made to feel that they should. Constantly ashamed, embarrassed that they dare to have a face.

Question one to ask yourself: why is disfiguremisia a part of your story?

I'm part of a few minority groups. I'm an immigrant, I'm disabled, I'm queer. I get enough shit in real life for this so I like to take a break once in a while. I love stories where transphobia isn't a thing. Where xenophobia doesn't come up. But my whole life, I can't seem to find stories that don't spew out disfiguremisia in one way or the other at the first possible opportunity.

Why is disfiguremisia a default part of your worldbuilding? Why can't it be left out? Why in societies with scarred saviors and warriors is there such intense disgust for them? Why can't anyone even just question why this is the state of the world?

Why is disfiguremisia normal in your story?

Question two: do you know enough about disfiguremisia to write about it?

Ask yourself, really. Do you? Writers sometimes ask if or how to portray ableism when they themselves aren't disabled, but no one bothers to wonder if maybe they aren't knowledgeable enough to make half their story about their POV character experiencing disfiguremisia. How much do you know, and from where? Have you read Mikaela Moody or any other advocates’ work around disfiguremisia? Do you understand the way it intersects; with being a trans woman, with being Black? What is your education on this topic?

And for USAmericans... do you know what "Ugly Laws" are, and when they ended?

Question three: what does your story associate with facial difference — and why?

If I had to guess; “shame”, “embarrassment”, “violence”, "disgust", “intimidation”, “trauma”, “guilt”, “evil”, “curse”, “discomfort”, “fear”, or similar would show up. 

Why doesn't it associate it with positive concepts? Why not “hope” or “love” or “pride” or “community”? Why not “soft” or “delicate”? Dare I say, “beauty” or “innocence”? Why not “blessing”? “Acceptance”?

Why not “normal”?

Question four: why did you make the character the way they are? 

Have you considered that there are other things than “horrifically burned for some moral failing” or “most traumatic scenario put to paper”? Why is it always “a tough character with a history of violence” and never “a Disfigured princess”? Why not “a loving parent” or “a fashionable girl”, instead of “the most unkind person you ever met” and “total badass who doesn’t care about anything - other than how scary their facial difference is to these poor ableds”? Don’t endlessly associate us with brutality and suffering. We aren’t violent or manipulative or physically strong or brash or bloodthirsty by default. We can be soft, and frail and gentle and kind - and we can still be proud and unashamed.

Question five: why is your character just… fine with all this?

Can’t they make a community with other people with facial differences and do something about this? Demand the right to exist as disabled and not have to hide their literal face? Why are they cool with being dehumanized and treated with such hatred? Especially if they fall into the "not so soft and kind" category that I just talked about, it seems obvious to me that they would be incredibly and loudly pissed off about being discriminated against over and over... Why can't your character, who is a subject of disfiguremisia, realize that maybe it's disfiguremisia that's the problem, and try to fix it?

Question six: why is your character wearing a mask? 

Usually, there's no reason. Most of the time the author hasn't considered that there even should be one, the character just wears a mask because that's what people with facial differences do in their mind. Most writers aren't interested in this kind of research or even considering it as a thing they should do. The community is unimportant to them, it's not like we are real people who read books. They think they understand, because to them it's not complex, it's not nuanced. It's ugly = bad. Why would you need a reason?

For cases where the reason is stated, I promise, I have heard of every single one. To quote, "to spare others from looking at them". I have read, "content warning: he has burn scars under the mask, he absolutely hates taking it off!", emphasis not mine. Because "he hates the way his skin looks", because "they care for their appearance a lot" (facial differences make you ugly, remember?). My favorite: "only has scars and the mask when he's a villain, not as a hero", just to subtly drive the point home. This isn't the extreme end of the spectrum. Now, imagine being a reader with a facial difference. This is your representation, sitting next to Freddy Krueger and Voldemort.

How do you feel?

F.A.Q. [frequently asked questions]

[large text: F.A.Q. [frequently asked questions]]

As in, answers and “answers” to common arguments or concerns. 

“Actually they want to hide their facial difference” - your character doesn’t have free will. You want them to hide it. Again; why.

“They are hiding it to be more inconspicuous!” - I get that there are elves in their world, but there’s no universe where wearing a mask with eye cutouts on the street is less noticeable than having a scar. Facial differences aren’t open wounds sprinkling with blood, in case that's not clear.

“It’s for other people's comfort” - why are other characters disfiguremisic to this extent? Are they forcing all minorities to stay hidden and out of sight too? That’s a horrible society to exist in.

“They are wearing it for Actual Practical Reason” - cool! I hope that this means you have other characters with facial differences that don’t wear it for any reason.

"It's the character's artistic expression" - I sure hope that there are abled characters with the same kind of expression then.

“They’re ashamed of their face” - and they never have any character development that would make that go away? That's just bad writing. Why are they ashamed in the first place? Why is shame the default stance to have about your own face in your story? I get that you think we should be ashamed and do these ridiculous things, but in real life we just live with it. 

"Now that you say that it is kinda messed up but I'm too far into the story please help" - here you go.

“[some variation of My Character is evil so it's fine/a killer so it fits/just too disgusting to show their disability” - this is the one of the only cases where I’m fine with disability erasure, actually. Please don’t make them have a facial difference. This is the type of harm that real life activists spend years and decades undoing. Disfiguremisia from horror movies released in the 70s is still relevant. It still affects people today.

"But [in-universe explanation why disfiguremisia is cool and fine actually]" - this changes nothing.

Closing Remarks

[large text: Closing Remarks]

I hope that this post explains my thoughts on facial difference representation better. It's a complicated topic, I get it. I'm also aware that this post might come off as harsh (?) but disfiguremisia shouldn't be treated lightly, it shouldn't be a prop. It's real world discrimination with a big chunk of its origins coming out of popular media.

With the asks that have been sent regarding facial differences, I realized that I probably haven't explained what the actual problems are well enough. It's not about some technical definition, or about weird in-universe explanations. It's about categorizing us as some apparently fundamentally different entity that can't possibly be kind and happy, about disfiguremisia so ingrained into our culture that it's apparently impossible to make a world without it; discrimination so deep that it can't be excised, only worked around. But you can get rid of it. You can just not have it there in the first place. Disfiguremisia isn't a fundamental part of how the world works; getting rid of it won't cause it to collapse. Don't portray discrimination as an integral, unquestionable part of the world that has to stay no matter what; whether it's ableism, transphobia, or Islamophobia or anything else. A world without discrimination can exist. If you can't imagine a world without disfiguremisia in fiction... that's bad. Sad, mostly. To me, at least.

Remember, that your readers aren't going to look at Character with a Scar #14673 and think "now I'm going to research how real life people with facial differences live." They won't, there's no inclination for them to do so. If you don't give them a reason, they won't magically start thinking critically about facial differences and disfiguremisia. People like their biases and they like to think that they understand.

And, even if you're explaining it over and over ;-) (winky face) there will still be people who are going to be actively resistant to giving a shit. To try and get the ones who are capable of caring about us, you, as the author, need to first understand disfiguremisia, study Face Equality, think of me as a human being with human emotions who doesn't want to see people like me treated like garbage in every piece of media I look at. There's a place and time for that media, and if you don't actually understand disfiguremisia, you will only perpetuate it; not "subvert" it, not "comment" on it.

I hope this helps :-) (smile emoji. for good measure)

Mod Sasza

#mod sasza #disfiguremisia #face difference #mask trope #writing trope #writing resource #writing reference #writing resources #writing advice #writeblr #writing tips #long post #burn survivor representation

[elvendorx]

The Remus and Sirius height discourse has become so loaded. Today I saw a post claiming that viewing Sirius as taller than Remus means that one supports jkr? (What?)

Canonically, Sirius is taller than Remus. That's just a fact. And I understand that some people don't care about canon, and that's cool!! But even if you don't give a flying fig about canon, that does not make the view that Remus is taller than Sirius any more valid than the reverse, and you can't go around telling other people that they are wrong, or worse, bad people for not agreeing with a version of the character that exists in your head?

Look I get that it would be annoying to have people inject an "ahem actually..." on posts that are clearly based on headcanons. I get that. But that is the natural consequence of taking the names/tags of characters from popular fandoms and using them for your own OCs, and the fact that these fans jump to "they must be horrible people!" as opposed to "they might be confused about my relationship with canon" is... something.

As someone who is neurodivergent, I find that the fandom that claims to love diversity has very little tolerance for people who don't understand the unwritten rules about when canon is and isn't allowed to be used as a reference point. (Somehow, we still hate Snape because canon, but all other canon is garbage?) Sorry for the rant, I'm just tired and confused.

don't be sorry at all, i think this kind of thing needs to be talked about because at its worst, this rhetoric is an attempt at emotional manipulation and censorship. nobody is ever going to 100% agree even with the exact same words on a page - this is the entire literary criticism field, most of the time variation in readings are a good thing but this isn't even a "reading", because it has no bearing on the characters, they just are or aren't a certain height, so it becomes a tool for personal agendas - "if you think sirius was tall, you're a fascist". even though those two facts are not connected, because sirius' height is never anything more than a physical description of him. and it's glaringly obvious that the people who fixate on this aren't interested in sirius as a character, just as a vehicle for their own fantasies/validation.

this is the problem that comes from people trying to put dynamics & personalities that they want to see onto characters who don't fit those moulds. the height thing doesn't actually matter, it doesn't change anything in the narrative, but it summarises the attitude towards canon which for me summarises critical reading & reading comprehension as a whole within hp fandom. i don't think canon is perfect and i don't think it's sacred but i don't understand why you would engage with something that you have to twist out of recognition in order to enjoy it.

part of the fun of fandom, for me, is finding the limits and boundaries while maintaining recognition. at the very least, even if you change everything else, character has to be consistent. you have to recognise who you're working with otherwise what are you doing here? other authors are writing and have written exactly what you want, so why do you need this character with a history and motivations and a distinctive personality to be the ideal version of you/the partner you want (because lbr, that's it!). i'm not saying that people can't use their imaginations and bend things, i do it, and people can do that by bending characters out of recognition if they want. i don't get any enjoyment out of that or see the point in it but i'm not going to try and stop people. it's the flagrant dismissal of logic and evidence that i think is a more dangerous stance when applied more widely.

it's ALWAYS the people who want remus to be taller and sirius to be tiny who have 10 million personal reasons why they need it to be that way around despite it being clear that sirius is specifically tall, and remus is of such average and nondescript height that it's never mentioned. it's nobody else's responsibility to validate anyone's projections onto a fictional character, and your personal reasons for wanting a character to behave in a way that they wouldn't isn't anybody's responsibility. i don't think these kind of people see the irony in how they're trying to force their view on everyone else even though there's direct contradiction to it, yet are claiming that people who go with that feature from the text are violent fanaticists or something.

when you question why it makes such a difference to the "big strong remus and baby boi sirius" people, it comes down to "it's cuter" or "it allows me to simplify m/m relationships into tough and cute and use physical attributes as symbols rather than thinking complexly about personality traits and dynamics." the height thing is basically one step away from top/bottom discourse and just because someone identifies as queer or relates to a character doesn't make it unproblematic. if you need to see a character who represents your specific circumstances, find one or make an original one, imo. it's not an entire fandom's job to validate individuals and it's manipulative to suggest that someone else seeing a character according to the way that character is explicitly described is an act of hatred or violence or something.

apologies if this turned into a rant of its own - i don't CARE that sirius is tall but the attitude towards minor, basic facts is wild to me. it makes no difference to me but idk why you would take being taller than snape away from sirius bc he clearly enjoys being able to tower over him. if i did want to argue that sirius' height makes a difference in the text, i'd say that sirius is tall because padfoot is also a large creature and there seems to be some kind of reflection of the human in animagus forms, whereas the whole werewolf thing is something inflicted externally rather than something that comes from within the person so remus' human height isn't reflected by his lycanthropy. but that's a whole other question i would have to research more.

#txtpst #fandom discourse #sirius black #remus lupin #height discourse #idk i will thank short sirius/tall remus ppl to just leave this alone ty :)

[horse-girl-anthy]

beneath the cut is an essay I've titled "Ikuhara Fandom, Shoujo Manga, and Eroticism." it discusses potentially upsetting subject matter.

when I first encountered RGU in 2014, I was largely baffled, though I thought the ending was very good. after that, I didn't rewatch more than an episode or two of the show again until 2020. Ikuhara was inaccessible to me as a teenager, but I spent years studying media, so when I returned to RGU, it was like discovering a goldmine. by the end of 2020, I'd watched all of Ikuhara's original shows.

the thing is, I still found Ikuhara challenging. there were things about his works which were seemingly contrary to my value system. I would read interviews of his and he would say things which sounded alarming--to use cliche terminology, he wasn't very politically correct.

if we're being honest, there is a party line in a lot of left-leaning fandom spaces. I used to be a part of that more than I am now; I had rigid ideas of right and wrong. today in the Ikuhara fandom, I often feel like the elephant in the room is that his works aren't the kind of "queer feminist masterpieces" that people portray them as. now, by that, I don't mean that those words don't apply to his works: what I mean is that the way people frame them, the way they discuss their meaning, doesn't bear that much relation to Ikuhara and his oevre.

RGU gets this treatment more than his other works. in fact, certain fans want to claim it as the work which truly aligns with their values, while Penguindrum, YKA, and Sarazanmai actively subvert RGU's message. a lot of other fans just stick with RGU, claiming it as a work without critiquing it. by critique, I don't mean negative criticism: I mean critique as in actual engagement with the text.

I remember that there was a point when I was afraid to engage with more Ikuhara interviews/works, since I thought I would find something out about him that made it so that I couldn't enjoy RGU. after all, when I would hang around in RGU spaces, every so often I'd see someone say that Ikuhara was super problematic. then I realized I was ignoring one of RGU's main themes, facing the truth rather than trying to stay in an idyllic past, so I took the dive. I had my ideas challenged, my values changed, and my entire approach to media shifted by doing so.

it's been strange to be in the English-speaking fandom, where everything is taken very seriously and there's certain universal assumptions about RGU's meaning, when many of the things held as absolutes are simply not so in the Japanese fandom. equally, the creative minds behind RGU are often in conflict with the Western fandom as well. once or twice, I've seen someone point this out and say that RGU is actually problematic/patriarchal, but mostly, it is ignored.

for instance, the character Ruka is massively hated in the western fandom, while as far as I understand, Juri/Ruka is one of the most common Japanese doujin pairings. Mamoru Hosoda, who storyboarded many Juri episodes, claimed that Ruka was in love with Juri. turning to Ikuhara, he often phrases things in a way that could leave you wondering if he's as much of a "feminist ally" as people want to paint him as. of the women's liberation movement, Ikuhara said, "On the one hand you had this social movement, but then in their heads I think almost everyone was thinking: this is lame (laugh), I don't wanna do this (laugh)."

consider this exchange from the same interview for a demonstration of just how differently people in the western fandom approach media compared to Ikuhara and a contemporary of his, art critic Mari Kotani:

Ikuhara: Speaking of sexuality, after Utena I wrote a novel which features lots of hermaphroditic characters. It's a collaborative work, a book called Schell Bullet. Kotani: It is a fantasy world? Ikuhara: It's a future world. Humanity has divided into roughly two groups, Majors and Minors. Because of gene manipulation the Majors are hermaphrodites without male/female sexes, and they have a monopoly on good genetic material. The Minors are humans who have fallen away from the monopolized gene material, they look basically the same are present-day humans, and have two sexes. Kotani: Sounds interesting! Are the Minors kind of like slaves, like in The Human Livestock Yapū?

later:

Ikuhara: The boss is visually female, a Major with a very bold beauty. From the start I wanted the main character's boss to be a hermaphroditic woman. That's because, the way I see it, even the Major women in the real world, that is to say women who are competent workers, seem to have an intense male side. 

what I find most interesting in this exchange is how Kotani casually brings up the idea of sexual slavery as a fun angle for Ikuhara's hermaphrodite novel. it's not to say that this kind of attitude is universal in Japan, just as leftist fandom spaces aren't universal here in America. however, there is obviously a huge difference in values between these two worlds.

so, what world is Ikuhara occupying? where did he come from and what are his influences? exploring these questions is what helped me to come to peace with his works, and in the process, I changed my own thinking.

I'm not really qualified to speak in depth on Japan, its history, culture, or values. however, I have looked into specific trends which I know were influences on Ikuhara specifically, so that's what I'll focus on here.

Ikuhara was born in 1964 and became a teenager in the 1970s. it was a period marked by a lot of social movements. he describes in many interviews feeling completely disillusioned when, rather than change society, the movements were crushed or simply collapsed in on themselves. "oh, maybe there's no way to change the world after all." however, one way or another, he seems to have pulled himself out of that despair. his works are all designed to give modern people a way out of the end of history brought on by the failure of radical change and the onset of the neoliberal global order.

as a young creative, he was into the dramatist/director Shuji Terayama and other artists who were pushing boundaries. in the Kotani interview, he stated:

Ikuhara: Terayama's words are interesting too, but what I find the most kitschy and cool is his theatre. Suddenly a completely naked actress would appear, without even a genital cover, and this was in Kinokuniya Hall! The police might barge in saying "Hey, wait a second". I guess this is why they say it's a fine line between a hero and a criminal (laugh), but until then I had never thought that showing your panties or showing your willy could be anything but shamelessness, and now the Asahi Shimbun was treating it as superb culture. I found that gap extremely mysterious and fascinating, and personally I felt a cultural nuance there.

clearly, the libertine values of 20th century countercultures left their mark on him. more than that, he is interested in the conflict between sexual repression and sexual expression, which has only escalated in Japan and in the West up until today.

turning to the anime/manga sphere, I know that RGU has a reputation as being very triggering, but to be honest, compared to its predecessors, RGU is mild and restrained. J.A. Seazer, a musician who Tereyama collaborated with, wrote songs for both RGU and the the 1992 anime film Midori. the story is old, dating back to the beginning of the 20th century, and it's been adapted as recently as 2016. Midori is an exploitation film: full of child rape, set in a freak show, featuring countless horrors in its 40-minute run. I've watched it and would not recommend it unless you're interested in the ero guro genre.

I bring up Midori as an example of the media landscape Ikuhara began his career in. he was working on Sailor Moon, so obviously, there was less heavy content in the world of anime and manga, but Sailor Moon is represents only one side of shoujo. Ikuhara is more aligned with the Year 24 Group, who revolutionized shoujo in the 1970s. the group produced a wide range of works, many of which had obvious influences on Ikuhara.

I know that Ikuhara is often associated with lesbians, but in fact, I would say that shoujo BL is one of his largest anime/manga influences. the early work Kaze to Ki no Uta is an acknowledged influence on RGU, and Ikuhara did an interview with its mangaka, Takemiya Keiko.

many of the early BL mangaka were inspired by western literature. Demian is not only referenced in RGU but also in Kaze to Ki no Uta. most important for BL is the 1912 German novel Death in Venice, as well as its 1971 film adaptation. for those unfamiliar, the novel is about a man in his 50s stalking a young teenage boy, becoming completely obsessed with him and other underage kids. it is a sexual obsession, but there are other angles to it, and the story has been analyzed in various ways. the fascination seen in shoujo and BL with beautiful young boys, as well as pedophilia, can be in part traced back to this story.

taking inspiration from Death in Venice, shoujo's fundamental character dynamic was established, one that can also be seen in a film such as Midori: innocence versus experience. the ever-present theme is corruption, how abuse and exploitation corrode personalities and create societal damage.

how this is handled can vary from work to work. I understand that grotesque depictions of child abuse or failure to condemn pedophilia hard enough make some people not want to engage with these works at all. I will say, whatever one thinks of Death in Venice, Kaze to Ki no Uta, along with the BL manga of Takemiya's contemporary Moto Hagio, are certainly not child porn. I think there is no excuse for CP, and even if there are things in Kaze to Ki no Uta that I question, it is overall a work of artistic merit, beyond holding interest to me as an early work in the genre.

as I've said, RGU is mild compared to much of what came before it, as well as a contemporary manga like A Cruel God Reigns. however, the core of its character dynamics are in line with shoujo/BL. the twist is that the work focuses on relationships between women.

Kotani: ...Watching it, the relationships between women, including the dialogue, were very sexual, very vivid, right? Ikuhara: But I think what it is expressing is simply yaoi. To do that using shōjo "royal road"-like characters, and with two women, is somewhat rare I think.

Utena and Anthy are easy to compare to BL couples who came before them, like Serge and Gilbert or Ash and Eiji. rather than approach gender issues through projection on to pretty boys, Be-Papas chose to use women, creating their own version of a gendered social system. of course, other Year 24 Group members used lesbians or GNC women to explore similar themes, with Rose of Versailles being another major influence on RGU. however, Ikuhara claiming that RGU is essentially yaoi has fascinated me for years.

Anthy and Akio are experience, knowledge, and corruption, while Utena is innocence, youth, and purity. like many predatory shoujo characters, Akio is obsessed with innocence and purity while also seeking to destroy them. the drama centers on Utena's struggle with corruption, as well as Anthy's conflicted feelings towards her friend's naivety, as she both identifies her past self with Utena and resents her for her ignorance. the story also features intense power dynamics, which, over the course of the narrative, are upset. all of these elements are standard for BL and shoujo.

to dig deeper into the value sense behind these works, here is a passage from the Takemiya/Ikuhara interview:

Takemiya: What I wanted to ask is about “crossing the line” for a girl [implicitly losing one's virginity/sexual purity]. I thought Utena crossed it unexpectedly easily. Ikuhara: Ah, I’m not thinking very deeply, right? Actually, I just wanted to suggest that it doesn’t matter. Because a lot of people seem to get caught up in issues of purity, I wanted to show that it didn’t matter. Takemiya: But doesn’t it seem like more kids these days don’t care about those things? Ikuhara: Yes, and that’s another reason I did it. But I think there are still many people who would try to put it in a box and say purity is important because it is an animation. Takemiya: Actually I think it’s more likely a lot of people will try to use the purity as an index of understanding. I guess you are an adult if you can overcome that. Ikuhara: That’s true, there are a lot of people that want to put a line between justice and absolute evil based on purity. I didn’t want them to do that. Whether manga or anime, I think it can become a motivation for the viewers and the readers in real life. I don’t like when people draw lines, out in society, equating absolute evil with impurity - in an animation which is nothing more than fiction, drawing a line between those that are carnally pure and those that are not.

I think we can all agree that Akio was in the wrong for trying to make Utena feel guilty for sleeping with him in episode 38 of RGU. but going further, Ikuhara and Takemiya say that they want to reject purity as an index of understanding altogether. to me, what this means is not jumping to immediate judgments, not treating issues of sexuality as if they are so deep as to sully the soul.

this is NOT to make some kind of excuse for pedophilia or child porn. I know from my own life how harmful those things are. to close out this discussion, I am going to try to explain what I mean by touching on the use of eroticism in art.

years ago, I was watching Naoki Urasawa's Manben, a show which gives space to mangaka to show off their process. Junji Ito went on it, and I was troubled by the following moment from the episode:

before I got into Ikuhara, I didn't have a grasp on the erotic. when I watched this, my thought was, why are they talking about a toddler being erotic?

after having gained an appreciation for eros's place in art, I understand what they were saying here. eros is hard to define, but it relates to sensuality: a way of interacting with the world which is beyond the intellect. the erotic is not pornographic: it is evocative, a way to make any work of art touch its audience on a deeper level. it is related to sexuality but is not the same thing as it. for Ito, exaggerating the erotic aspect of this character helps him to create even greater horror. the point is not to make a toddler sexy.

RGU relies heavily on this kind of eroticism for different purposes, both within the series and in the promotional art. whenever I see someone trying to ban a specific kind of fan art, I roll my eyes for this very reason. it's not as if there's any significant numbers of people making RGU exploitation porn or anything; most of it is in line with the show itself. for instance:

official art of characters all 13 and younger

Anthy having sex with her brother in the series proper (episode 31)

I have seen RGU called exploitative and fetishized, though not as often as I've seen the same criticism leveled at later Ikuhara works. however, more often than not, the disturbing eroticism of RGU is left uncommented on.

to come full circle, the reason that I now have a lot of admiration for Ikuhara is that I've come to see that the "problematic" aspects of his work help him to tell meaningful stories. all of his anime are designed to spark self-revelation/self-transformation in their audiences. additionally, I now appreciate erotics for what they are, feeling them on the sensual level rather than intellectualizing about them. viewing the above images, various readings can be drawn, arguments made about the impact of their eroticism on the themes they express. however, there is a more primal appeal to them, something which draws the eye. that aesthetic quality, by itself, deserves to be defended. those who dislike it should probably not engage with Ikuhara works. from RGU commentary, episode 38:

Hideki Mori: Are you always trying to work in this type of erotic undertone? Ikuhara: Yes, well... if it doesn't have that kind of stuff... it's not very interesting! Either I'm doing it to make it interesting or maybe I just wanted to see that.

I will finish with two final points. firstly, I think that letting go of one's automatic response of moral judgment is essential when approaching Ikuhara anime. this is not the same thing as advocating for a laissez-faire, anything-goes approach; it is simply saying, before applying preconcieved notions, let the work's textual, aesthetic, erotic, and sensual levels wash over you. if you give the work time and find some aspect of it offensive, that's one thing, but I am glad that I didn't let my kneejerk reactions turn me off of Ikuhara. along with that, don't immediately apply some kind of feminist, queer, or leftist lens to explain everything either. just let the work breathe.

lastly, I want to share Ikuhara's words on what affect he thought RGU had on its audience:

Ikuhara: I didn’t want 'Utena' to become a nice story. A story can be pretty, but it feels like a lie. From the beginning, the story was going to be about saving a friend, so in that sense that was the goal, but it can easily become a nice story, so to break away from that I made sure that it was a foolish story. I think it’s this foolishness that makes ‘Utena’ so popular with adults. Not in a sexual way, but more that watching it at that point makes it more relatable. 

to re-emphasize, my point with this discussion was that much of Ikuhara's artistry is ignored because his approach and influences are considered problematic. that being said, it was never his intention to make a work about "sexy teenagers" who adult viewers can masturbate over. none of his works are that: they feature students because anime often features students, and because he has an interest in the threshold between childhood and adulthood. although I am now 26, I can see myself in all of his casts, and the eroticization of the art makes me more invested in the story and themes, not titillated.

#ikuhara #commentary #it's 5am #ive been writing this for 4+ hours lol

[thefortressofscience]

Random tips for writing a martial artist!

The ruleset for the competitive form of their style (ie Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Wrestling, etc...) will inform how that character approaches fighting. For example, Karate where points are awarded based on how many hits you land means that fighter might prioritize keeping someone at a distance, whereas in Knockdown Karate where victory is achieved through a KO that fighter may prioritize trying to pummel someone with close range attacks

A mixed martial artist will often have a "base" style. This is usually their first style and then they build around it by taking techniques from other styles in hopes of creating their own effective blend. Common base styles in MMA include Boxing, Wrestling, Brazilian Jiujitsu, and Muay Thai. In the last decade there's also been a wave of Karate practitioners joining MMA as well.

Related to the first two points, no two styles are fully comparable and no style is better than another. However, styles that pressure test their practitioners with a healthy dose of sparring and competitions will generally produce more competent fighters. After all, you don't get good at what you don't practice! So if you're writing a fight, the fighter with a more pressure tested background will probably come out on top more often than not.

Disabled martial artists exist, and also compete in tournaments. For example, in Paralympic Judo, the only difference is the fighters start off grabbing each other's uniform and the referee saying certain commands outloud so the fighters know to return to the center or avoid the edge of the arena.

In real life, fights between two experienced fighters are less like in movies where two characters are constantly rushing each other with few pauses. Generally, two fighters will try to feel each other out, making on the fly risk assessments with periodic high intensity exchanges. This is generally known as "explosiveness" in martial arts. Those on the higher end of explosiveness tend to resemble all out brawls more but the characters are still doing risk assessment with periodic lulls in the action. That said, this is a stylistic choice for the author, so you don't really need to consider this one if you're more interested in Rule of Cool.

A blackbelt in Japan typically does not mean the same thing it means in the West. In Japan, the first degree blackbelt is usually just a sign that you are now competent (and thus tourney-ready). It is not uncommon for a Japanese martial artist to get their shodan (first degree blackbelt) at an early age based on how many training hours they clock. Furthermore, most Japanese martial arts only have white and black belts. The colored grading system is largely a western invention to serve as a motivational tool.

Size matters. You might hear a lot about how size doesn't matter but that's just not true. A larger person has an advantage that can't be ignored. However, there are ways around this and a smaller fighter can still win. Typically, this requires the smaller fighter to keep larger foes in mind when they're training. It also requires them to strategize around their larger opponent's advantage. This applies specifically to two trained fighters. A smaller well trained person is still much more likely to defeat a larger, untrained enemy.

I want to stress these aren't rules or a do's and don't list, it's just tips for writing martial artists. You can also just disregard everything here because you're free to go hog wild. That said, I hope this can be useful to people wanting to write fights.

[joyswonderland1108]

What?

How is it even JK's fault that Tae can't travel to see him and support him?

First of all, and i'll say it beforehand i don't know the exact details of the law so don't ask me about any further information, i know it very superficially if you need more information you might want to ask a K-army or a K-friend in general. With that being said, since BTS announced and publicly that is that they're cancelling their military service postponement and will be enlisting after the completion of their solo activities, they are now bound by the military rules.

Which means, the boys cannot travel outside of the COUNTRY, without an official schedule aka something related to their work, whatever other activity they decide to do while out of the country is their own business but they just can't travel for "fun" and supporting another member is actually inside that "fun" box it ain't no official or professional schedule.

Up until now the two times we were sure Jimin was there for members (Hobi and Yoongi) he still had a professional schedule aside but he took the chance to make it in time to support his hyungs. A friend brought up Joon in Spain with his family and while it might look like a regular vacation for some but he DID have a professional schedule, he also took that opportunity to make it a mini family trip, it's basically a win-win situation, you get an official schedule you grab the opportunity which is always great to see our boys having a good time.

Now, Jimin is "coincidentally" (I don't think it's coincidental at all but you feel me) having an official schedule during this period, was it pre-fixed or was he able to arrange it to be able to support our Maknae AND get some work done? Maybe, maybe he went for the two birds one stone strategy. Up until now we have no idea what's up, will he be able to attend GMA or not, we have NO IDEA.

For all we know, Tae doesn't seem to be having any official schedule for now, not in Paris not in the US so again, no official schedule means no flying out of the country. So why tf is JK to blame? He's not the one making up official schedules. Their only concern is Jimin and i'm sitting over here thinking why aren't they questioning why wouldn't Yoongi go too? Since apparently Tae is being "held back by the evil step-mother that is Hybe" to go support the love of his life, Yoongi isn't held back by anything so why isn't he going? Makes us go back to the same point which is : No official schedule.

Second of all, Bitch! And if Tae isn't interested in going on a 10+ hours flight just to support a member, doesn't even have to be JK and even if the military rules weren't applying, he doesn't have to, why do they make it seem like it's a MUST that Tae should go to support JK, support isn't just by being physically present, how do they know he's not very actively encouraging him via messages and video calls?

Bitches are quick to assume Jikook aren't even texting each other but now they're assuming that about TK as well or..? And again if it's Tae's choice to not travel all the way to the US for one day, then how tf is JK to blame? It's not like JK has been plotting with the evil step-mother again to stop Tae from going to him dafuq?

It's one thing to be a delusional shipper and another to be a delusional maniac. This isn't just shipping blindly, this is projection, very blurred lines between reality and fiction, dementia? Please go get treated in a mental hospital. I know someone else was saying that Jimin is going to grab the attention yada yada, why is he grabbing the attention just when it comes to JK? Why wasn't that said about him when he went to support Hobi and Yoongi?

All this bla bla bla and we're not even a 100% sure Jimin is going to GMA anyways, they're already combusting just at the thought of Jimin and JK being in the same country, same city. Chile~ anyways so.. SEVEN IS COMING!!!!! Are you ready? Personally i'm not, but i am at the same time.

(Tagging this under Jikook because well.. Jikook.)

#jikook #kookmin #minkook #mingukkie

[leoleolovesdc]

I really don't get what's so appealing to writers and fans who make Bruce an abusive father. Why is it so fun? Why do people enjoy doing one of the biggest superhero of all times that dirty? How does that make any sense?

People always complain about how Batman is a power fantasy, but the fact that his actions aren't justifiable if applied real life doesn't mean that you have to fuck the character's fictional morals.

Every hero is a power fantasy, but they are enjoyable because they are good people (or people who try to be good). Bruce Wayne is a human being and he is capable of bad parenting and committing mistakes, but making him willingly hit his kids is just stupid.

Batman is and has always been about hope, about rising above your trauma, protecting who you love, using your pain to make the world a little better. Bruce doesn't go around "beating the mentally ill' just because, he does because they are dangerous people, criminals, terrorists who are constantly harming citizens with their actions.

With all that said; Bruce hitting his children/sidekicks/allies (or just purposefully harming them in any way shape or form) is incoherent with his character and all that he represents.

Batman brought Robin, especially Dick Grayson, in to help him. He didn't want a child soldier, he was comforting this kid and taking him to the police station when he asked to be trained so he could get the guy who killed his parents. He asked to become like Batman and Bruce, realizing that they were very similar, saw that he was also filled with anger and needed to be guided. That's why Dick became a better person than Bruce ever was, not because he was inherently good or something, but because even if their relationship was not perfect and troublesome at times they understood each other's pain like no one else would.

With all of Bruce and Dick's history saying that this father-son bond was filled with physical abuse just sounds wild to me. Same thing goes for Cass, Jason, Steph, Tim, Duke, Damian and any other child that Bruce parented or taken care of.

Jason and Dick are usually the victims of writers and fans who are full one Abusive-Bruce-Shit™️, and honestly, I don't think that's because they have remarkably difficult relationships, but because this fandom loves to make their favorite pretty "white" boys suffer.

No one cares if it makes sense for Bruce to be abusive towards his first sons, they just care that Dick and Jason are angsty. My prove of that? When do you ever see content of Bruce being abusive towards Cass? Damian? Steph? Duke? Never. Because those characters are either women or people of color largely ignored by both canon and fanon.

I'll admit that Damian and Tim do get angsty abusive dad content at times, because regardless of their actual relationship with Bruce Tim is a sad white boy and Damian is the largely white washed blood son, but they are still not the most common alternatives whenever family angst is the focus (despite the large fanon torture porn industry that Tim Drake goes through it is usually focused on other aspects of his life).

I don't really know how to end this, at this point I'm just ranting about annoying batfam fans, but, yeah, don't fuck over legacy characters by making them abusive dads bcuz u like saying ur fav has it worst👍

Little edit: In this post I talked abt Dick as a white guy, would like to apologize for that, I do know that he is romani but ended up forgetting to add that. Either way my point still stands as, just like Damian, his race is pretty much ignored by writers and parts of the fandom

#dc #dc comics #batman #batfam #batfamily #robin #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #damian wayne al ghul #gotham war #gotham city #batman and robin #robin i #robin ii #robins #the robins #batdad #anti abusive bruce

[gffa]

"she's trying to stop more innocent people from being killed by offering a different path. She's taking a harm reduction path as much as she can. Yeah, they're going to make mistakes, but if she can still reduce those mistakes, isn't it worth trying? Or is one mistake enough that she should never try any other path ever again, even though it means they'll immediately go back to killing lots of innocent people?"

chiming in to say i think the problem with this view is that, as Jason points out, she has ZERO actual control over the people she's ostensibly "employing". she can have all the good intentions to reduce harm she wants, but acting like good vibes and promises are enough to keep things from ever getting out of hand is practically on "positive thinking cures bipolar disorder" levels of oversight (note: i'd actually finished this post and was about to hit ask when i realized how on the nose that comparison is considering scarecrow is fucking with this plan. gonna leave it.) there have to be some fire safety measures here, and her repeatedly insisting they aren't necessary and she's totally got everything handled is ultimately going to hurt the people she was trying to save when the building burns.

which, i agree with you that she's absolutely smarter than this, and it drives me up the wall that they keep having her double down on it.

Yeah, I feel like there's a couple of things at war within this storyline execution: 1 - Comic book logic is absolutely a thing and trying to map hyperrealistic complex real world consequences onto a story that is being written by imperfect authors who are not experts in the fields this would be touching on is always going to mean that there are going to be major flaws in the logic of the story. Superhero comics as a whole can have just as many flaws pointed out about their logic, like I don't believe for a single second that someone like Bruce Wayne would be able to be Batman without it being known publicly, between the coincidences piled up or how freely they all use real names in the field. If we can accept that people just don't recognize Clark Kent with his glasses on or don't recognize Bruce Wayne's jawline (while I absolutely can goddamned recognize George Clooney or Val Kilmer's jawlines even when they're in full cowl), I feel okay giving some leeway to Selina being written into a dumbass plan for reducing crime in Gotham. 2 - And the story, while pointing out the flaws in her logic (a person died in the kick off issue even!), it also points out that her way had reduced innocent people getting hurt, so it's reasonable for Selina to think this is a viable plan. No, she doesn't have actual control over these people (well, she has some, in that they respect her and are loyal to her, to at least some degree), but nobody has control over others when offering a different path of any kind. Like, if she was offering college courses or trade school classes for people, she wouldn't have any control over them there, either. Presumably, she's not ignoring that getting innocent people hurt will send them to jail, that they're warned about this ahead of time and know the consequences, she's just trying to offer something, anything that's better than what they had before, even as deeply imperfect as it is. Like, I'm in agreement that I think this is a bad plan, but I'm not sure how much of that is me coming from a real world perspective where this could NEVER happen, but costumed vigilantes at a baseline could NEVER happen in the real world, either, but we've mostly accepted that that's part of the genre, you know? Versus how much am I just trying to meet the narrative where it's at? How much of this is that they're writing Selina badly and how much is it that it's just the same logic of vigilantes being allowed to exist (which are also often criticized within the narrative, just as Selina's plan is being criticized from within the narrative) that applies to Selina's plans as well? There's just as much accountability from Batman as there is from Catwoman--he might have more money, but ultimately nobody actually is able to hold Batman responsible for anything and the only control he has are the training he's given them and the loyalty and love they have for him as a person. Should we say Batman's ideas are bad, because the rogues kill people based around their obsession with him and those he trains? He's not training the rogues directly, but his actions are leading to those deaths of innocent people that he's trying to help, just as Selina training these people, trying to give them non-lethal options, still lead to deaths, even if she doesn't have direct control over them. I don't even really like Selina's plans or that she's being written to propose this idea because I don't think she'd believe in it, but I feel like there's a lot of Comic Book Logic going on that I'm trying to be generous about, you know?

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam #bruce wayne #selina kyle #gotham war #*laughs* i'm not married to any of this by the way #i just feel like Comic Book Logic has been missing from the equation a lot so i've been thinking about how it applies here a lot #and i'm trying to come across as pondering but who knows how much i might seem clipped #this is meant to be a laid back response not a passionate one though honest!

[marshmallowgoop]

Every time I "finish" an AMV, I create a comparison like this.

The left side is the "effectless" draft—minimal transitions, zero coloring, limited text animation—while the right side is the "final" version I post online. It's a way to assess my work; where did the added effort elevate the edit, and where do my eyes find themselves drawn more to the draft because the "final" version is too busy, too overwhelming, too much?

I'm new to video editing. There aren't even 20 AMVs to my name, and I only seriously started a little over a year ago. My process involves a lot of struggling with what a "good" AMV is, a lot of wondering if I'm doing it all wrong—anxieties that were only exacerbated by a popular post that crossed my dash many months ago. It decried AMVs that don't edit with the full song as worthless, bad, garbage. The kids don't know how to do it right.

Not a kid, but maybe they've got a point!

Still, it was a disheartening sentiment to read. And while I might not know much, I think I am confident in knowing this: there are many AMV styles out there, and the shorter ones may certainly not be everyone's cup of tea, but that doesn't mean that they're devoid of love, time, effort, or passion. The video at the top of this post is hardly 30 seconds long, and it still took over 60 hours of spilling out ideas and cutting clips and learning new skills and scrapping new skills and tweaking transitions and coloring and recoloring and shaking my head and giving up and trying again.

Fan vidders, no matter the style they employ, are devoting their free time and energy to create. It'd be ludicrous to suggest that a movie is inherently inferior to a TV series, or a short story automatically meaningless compared to a novel.

The same should absolutely apply to fan videos.

#ramblings #shut up goop #video #amv #eye strain #*says she wants to write heiji and shinichi meta but writes this instead* #the heart writes what it wants ^^; #but yeah been thinking about writing something like this for a while? #tl;dr short vids may not be your thing but it really doesn't mean that they lack effort! #(if anything it might mean they have *too much* effort... definitely been guilty of that) #i'd love love love to create longer videos but i'm very attached to making edits with a high clip count and lots of effects #and that takes a *lot* of time! i can't even imagine doing a full song... that'd take me over 200 hours no exaggeration #and i know my style isn't for everyone but i don't think it's inherently worthy of disrespect #we're all fans here and i think fan vidders deserve so much love <3 constantly astounded by them! #it was really sad to see a post with nearly 50k notes complaining about amv makers when amvs on tumblr get maybe 100 notes if they're lucky #song in the video is 'corridors of time' by yasunori mitsuda with lyrics and vocals by laura shigihara #and the anime is detective conan #but if you're reading this you probably already know that haha

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

This is going to be a weird question to ask, but...to what extent do the endless have influence over each other? We see delirium mention that she could have trapped morpheus inside her realm forever, every single one of the endless have expressed certain types of despair or desire, and obviously they can all die... They are all theoretically equal in power, but with their realms overlapping so much, how does that affect the way they perform their duties?

oh that's an interesting question, thank you for asking it!

i mean, first off, i don't know that they are equal in power. the way they kinda split themselves into older three and younger three, the way desire and despair in particular like to team up (often with delirium's help) when going after one of the eldest, and in particular this line

suggests to me that dream is more powerful than desire, and they both know it. (and in turn, destiny and death are more powerful than dream)

another good indicator is overture, the one story where desire is undoubtedly the hero, they are the only one acting solely to save the universe (even dream is just trying to cover up his past mistakes, and none of the other endless are getting involved at all. but desire does it without credit because they know it needs to be done)

when dream gets trapped in the black hole, desire can't pull him out of it on their own. so they bait the hook by dropping a dream fragment in destiny's garden, which makes destiny free dream to question him about it (and he manages it, though he mentions that took a lot of power)

i think the endless probably scale in power the older they are, which makes sense given that the more intrinsic to life functions were born first. it just doesn't often get called into play given how they're not technically supposed to be interfering with each others' duties

in terms of influencing each other... yes, desire and despair and death and so on are all things they all can experience. they're all kinda immune to their own element (except delirium sometimes), but not to the others'

and i think they can force those things on each other, if they need to, which is one of the few places where the respective power levels are relevant. we've never seen dream get influenced by desire directly, even in all their fights, and we don't know whether that's because desire's not interested in messing with dream's head or because they can't. when delirium threatens him, she makes a point to add "you aren't even wearing your helm"

dream could probably handle her in a direct fight, if it ever came to that, but right now he's not trying. he's coming to her unprotected, without his full strength, because he's trying to show her he means no harm. his apology is to make himself deliberately vulnerable and trust she doesn't actually want to hurt him

but when it's not a fight, or coercion, when they're just living their lives - do the others dream, for example?

and i think the answer to that is no, but by choice

partially because they don't need to sleep, but also we see in song of orpheus that orpheus, as dream's family, is aware when he's in the dreaming, and often cuts his own dreams short to go talk to his father

i think the same would apply to the other endless - they could visit dream's realm through their sleep if they chose, but unless dream was deliberately trying to hurt them (see again: power levels), they'd be aware of where they were and why

and other than maybe death, they don't want to

which isn't just down to the rules. yes, they're not supposed to interfere in each others' duties, but we know desire shirks that rule all the time. no, it actually bothers them, being in one of the other realms

i almost wrote a meta on this, i may yet still, but i think the endless are fascinating in that you can take pretty much any two and make an argument for why they're the opposites of each other. and that feeds into how they see each others' realms, it runs really counter to how they work, so being there feels wrong. and thus they only willingly visit each other when they have specific business with that sibling

(death isn't part of this equation because all things end up in her realm eventually, even her siblings. she is a part of everything, and therefore never unnatural)

so when it comes to the question of whether or not they "experience" each other, i think we can divide this into three categories:

just the general components of living. having hopes, fantasies, desires, despair, free will, eventually dying, etc. these aren't personal and i think the answer here is yes, they do experience all of the other six they don't have dominion over

visiting each others' realms - particularly for dream delirium and maybe despair, where their realms are places mortals frequently visit, where their gift actually happens. they all can visit their siblings' realms, but they will be conscious of it happening, and they will feel unnerved by it (until, of course, they die, which they do like any other being). and also their sibling whose realm they're in will be aware of their presence, and that could lead to some awkward conversations, so better not (they get enough of that every family dinner)

deliberately inflicting their abilities on each other. they can, but elder trumps younger in that equation, and because the elder ones are a lot less likely to start fights (death and destiny in particular will not get involved, and while dream is easily riled up he's also extremely beholden to The Rules), this isn't usually a problem

and yes, there is overlap in what they do, there's a bit of overlap between all of them. but i think the core of what they do is so different, different to the point they get uncomfortable in each others' realms, that there's no real clashing unless they want there to be

#sandman comic spoilers #destiny of the endless #death of the endless #dream of the endless #desire of the endless #despair of the endless #delirium of the endless #ask #mine #meta #the sandman

[nothorses]

If you have the energy I’d like to hear you talk abt what you value in atheism as a belief system! (This is meant positively I’m just bad at Words, if the question puts you on the spot then no pressure to answer!)

Hello!! Yes!

I think "belief system" is maybe the wrong word- imo, a big part of what makes atheism what it is is that there isn't any kind of organization, there's no system, and the only "requirements" are... well, ultimately just that you call yourself an atheist.

I've seen a ton of different ways to define the word, and a ton of different people call themselves that- or something else- for different reasons; my point just being that it's a really diverse, really complex label, and ultimately I think it works about the same way queer identity labels do: you decide if it applies to you, and if you decide it does, then it does! There's nobody to tell you whether you're right or wrong about that; that's sort of the whole point.

I grew up atheist, and aside from a couple of edge cases I learned about in my 20's, my known extended family is entirely non-religious. I say "three generations of atheists" because I recall one great-grandma who had some angel-related paraphernalia and I don't really remember her deal about it, and because "atheist" is a close enough shorthand; some of my family would probably rather describe themselves as "agnostic", but their reasoning, when I've asked, is largely that they think "atheist" means "anti-theist".

I also say that because my experience in learning about religion has been... kind of unique. I live in an area that is 60% non-religious; I think a good amount of that is that people who grew up with some Christian influence in their life decided not to pursue it themselves. Still, it's not super common to talk about religion here, and religious influences- while they still very much exist- aren't really named for what they are.

What that means is, essentially, that I absorbed a lot of values and ideas as a kind that came completely detached from any reasoning. And I'm a painfully introspective (read: anxious) person; I spent a lot of time reflecting on those values from a very young age, and I was encouraged to do so, in many ways, by the adults around me.

I distinctly remember being about 10 years old, in a car with my mom and stepdad, and wondering about why people Did Good Things. Was it selfish- because it made them feel good? What motivation was there to be charitable and generous, if not for some kind of reward? I knew I wanted to do good, and I knew that part of that was internal satisfaction, but that didn't feel right as an answer. I decided later that this was a function of human nature, to help each other- and even if it was an evolutionary community-building thing, doing good was also a way of building a happy, sustainable life with full and healthy relationships.

I have never understood the "what is the purpose of life?" question- it's been pretty obvious to me from a young age that there isn't one, and there doesn't need to be. We weren't "put on the planet" in the first place. We're here because of a beautiful string of semi-random events, and we get to decide what to do with the opportunities and hardships that comes with.

When I was 12, I decided, on a walk home from school, that my "goal" in life was going to be to be the best person I possibly could. I have spent a lot of time since then working out what that really means; along the way, I realized that in order to do this, I also needed to be a happy person. I needed to heal and grow and live a sustainable life, and I needed to value myself and my inherent worth.

This is a lot of rambling to say, essentially: I think atheism means different things to different people, but I think the idea that it's some kind of void of experience and value is plainly ignorant and genuinely damaging.

This is just a snapshot of the ways in which I currently recognize atheism to have influenced my life, and there's a lot more I could touch on as well! But the idea that we choose what's important is core to a lot of atheism, I think; and there is a genuinely beautiful value system that follows from this.

I choose what's important to me, and others choose the same for themselves. I choose my goals and "purpose", and others do the same for themselves. In a lot of ways, that heterogeneity is part of what makes communities work: understanding and appreciating differences in value systems and worldviews means including more and more of what each individual has to offer.

None of this is exclusive or universal to atheism (and again, the label itself is pretty broad depending on who you talk to) but it's an example of the ideas that can follow from certain questions pretty inherent to the idea that there isn't a higher power.

#atheism

[satanic-witchcraft]

Hi! I’m thinking of doing audios like you, would you have any tips on making them? ^^

Tips on making fan audios?? Sure! <3 this is all based on my own experience!! <3

HAVE SOME WAY of keeping track of asks! Making a list, sorting them, whatever you gotta do! Write them down, it doesn't really matter! Keep track of them because they can pile up quickly!

Have backup editing software! Because one is bound to crash at some point which is really frustrating at times!

The audios I've seen get the most attention, are the most vauge concepts! Something that applies to any viewer watching, or a funny skit all viewers can enjoy! Viewers like having something that can comfort them, or something they can relate to!

DO! NOT! DO! REQUESTS! YOU! DONT! WANT! TO! DO! of course you'll want to do everyones most likely, I did to! But in my experience, forcing myself to do requests I didn't want to do or that just didn't spark any type if motivation for me, made me burn out really quick and really badly and for a while I felt like I should just quit because my quality suffered along with how I was feeling mentally! Just because you don't do someone's ask does not mean you didn't like it or you're upset with them, it just didn't spark anything for you and that is okay!

Try to have a bottom line for yourself, or a goal! Like my goal of any day I'm doing audios, is to put out at least 2-3! And if I feel ambitious, 6-10! It's great to have a goal that once you reach, you can step back and be like "hell yeah! I did that!" BUT also!! Do NOT force yourself to complete these goals! If you need a break, take a break! Even if you can only make one for an entire day, that's still an accomplishment! You should be proud of yourself!

Be open and honest with the peeps who watch and follow you! It's great to feel close to a creator, and on the same plane people will not know your boundaries or what makes you uncomfortable if you don't tell them! And even if you can't help, it's important to show you care! (for me at least!) I've gotten many asks that have a huge weight to them due to something they're going through, and even if I can't do what they requests, I still deeply deeply care and understand why they would ask for something like that! Be understanding!

Sound effects compliment an audio! It makes it seem more official and life-like in a way!! Making or putting sound effects in on your audios, can make it easier for the viewer to picture what's happening in their head!

SELF CARE!! (like everyone's been telling me to do..-) it's so easy to get swept up into working, and it feels great! But don't overwork yourself!! Take breaks, do something you want to do, do something that's good for you! In my case when I'm overworked, I go outside and take a walk!

Audios or impressions may not sound right the first time around, that is okay! There's no rule saying you can't come back to it again tomorrow! First tries aren't perfect, they're not meant to be! It's okay to make mistakes, they help you learn further! Have patience with yourself!

Have fun!! Make sure YOU are having fun! It's not a bad thing to want something for yourself, so even if nobody has asked for whatever you're about to post, who cares?? Have fun!! Do what you want to do!!

Alrighty that's all I got for now!! Best of luck my dear!!💕💕💕

#welcome home puppet show #welcome home #welcome home arg #wally darling welcome home #wally darling #welcome home wally #wally voice impressionist #voice impressionist #voice impressions #love and take care of yourself!!

[tjmystic]

Look, we need to discuss something: regardless of who we vote for or how loud we get, the federal U.S. government is going to back Israel.

Before I say anything else, let me be clear that I am NOT saying to stop speaking out. Whatever our government does or doesn't do, we still have an individual responsibility to make Palestinian voices heard and support the victims of this genocide however we can. Sometimes, you push back not because you expect a wall to fall but because, at the end of the day, you know you'd be a little less human if you didn't. Palestinians deserve whatever hope and support we can give them.

But that doesn't mean the official U.S. stance is going to change. Not right now, not overnight, probably not even within the next year. Our federal government is going to back Israel because they're our puppet state for Islamophobia in the Middle East and a great way for us to pretend we care about Jewish people without actually helping any Jews. Neither the party in power nor the sitting president will change this. All of our presidents since 1947 have supported genocide in Palestine in one way or another, whether they were liberal or conservative.

This is not a good thing. There is no positive way to spin this. The U.S. is a colonialist genocidal state at its root, and neither party has made any steps to correct it.

A lot of people won't like me saying that because it removes the illusion of choice. "If we just elect X, then we can end the genocide," is not an accurate statement. No choice we make politically is going to make our country remove its boot from Palestine's throat.

But -- and this is the part that even more people are going to hate me for -- our only option is still to vote for Biden.

Again, let me be clear. I don't like Biden. I despise him. He's willfully committing genocide and has been this whole time. Point blank. End of. But that whole "illusion of choice" thing? Yeah, that also applies to American electoral habits. Other countries love to call us stupid for having a two party system and being so crippled by it. They're right -- it's an awful system and a proponent of our ruin. But the same countries who complain about it and say we should just dismantle it also seem to think we can do it overnight, and that just isn't possible. Everyone wants a revolution, everyone wants an uprising, but no one is willing to organize one. They want it to happen passively and jump in only if it doesn't inconvenience them. Or they want to pull big stunts like bombing a government building instead of doing the hard work of assigning people to stations, coordinating multifaceted attacks, gathering supplies. They don't want to get involved in the process of changing our laws or political landscape to put us in a position where we have more than 2 candidates to vote for.

And that's the truth. It's ugly, it's stupid, but we aren't mindless sheep for defaulting to the 2 party system. We base our choices on it because it's the only real "choice" we have -- back to that illusion. Voting for a third party candidate without any promise of a majority turnout is just going to split the Democratic vote in half, and that's how we get a lifetime of Trump as dictator. That is not an exaggeration. That is a genuine threat we are staring down right now.

Both parties suck. Both parties are committing genocide. But that doesn't make them equally evil. A conservative president would be announcing outright war on Palestine instead of pretending to give a shit about them while actively funding Israel. A conservative president would be sending all of our troops to Iraq and Iran and Yemen instead of murdering individuals or small groups in those countries. (Every single life is sacred. Biden's murders of Iraqi, Iranian, and Yemeni citizens is unforgivable and inexcusable. But it could also be so much worse. We could be doing to them what we're already doing to Palestine. We already have before.) A conservative president would be trying to remove us from the UN altogether and pass laws that would prevent individual citizens from supporting Palestine or even speaking out about it. A conservative president would be adding more fuel to our burgeoning civil war and stripping more and more rights from women, people of color, queer people, and immigrants.

Biden is not good. He isn't. Pretending otherwise is foolishly optimistic at best. But he's better than Trump or any other conservative at all for that matter. And he's also proven that he can be pushed further left when votes are on the line and people are loud enough about it. Even if he wasn't, though, he's still allowing us the right to vote. Trump won't.

#u.s. politics #fuck trump #fuck biden #free palestine #vote blue

[borderlinereminders]

Healing isn't linear. Recovery isn't linear. I know this. A lot of you know this. We say it a lot to everyone else, but usually forget to apply it to ourselves.

Tonight, I had a trauma response. I wrote a post that was misunderstood by someone. I was then met with hate asks because of the misunderstanding.

I tried to explain what I meant to convey, and apologized. I kept getting hate. My trauma response kicked in here because I kept trying to explain myself. That's something I picked up from years of emotional abuse. Instead of walking away, I kept trying to "fix" the situation. To be properly understood.

People misunderstanding me can be so triggering. I understand that perfect communication isn't really possible. But being accused of something I didn't really say sets off so many memories.

Which led to me, again, trying to apologize and defend myself. At this point, while someone else's feelings of hurt are valid even if I had good intentions, I didn't deserve to keep beating myself up the way I was and feeling guilty. (I really felt like I was a bad person and a failure. I've worked a lot on splitting and black and white thinking but still slip up when it comes to myself sometimes.)

Once I realized I was having a trauma response, the doubt creeped in. "I'm a fraud. I get so much praise on my blogs for healing and inspiring others and here I am having a trauma response."

I stepped away from Tumblr for a bit. Spent some time with my partner and looking at my coping skills. When I couldn't self soothe myself, I reached out for reassurance in a support server I have. The reassurance I received there allowed me to calm down and utilize my other skills.

And it took me a long time to get to this point, and healing is not linear. Me having a trauma response doesn't undo years of improvement. And in times like that, it's easy to forget that how I handled my trauma response differed greatly from how I would before. I stepped away, looked at my coping skills, and reached out for help instead of completely spiraling and doing things that made the situation worse for myself. And that is progress.

I guess what I also want to try and say is that for me, healing does not mean the trauma never affects me anymore. I think it means that I'm better equipped to deal with it in ways that don't impact my quality of life or make it worse than it needs to be.

I share my personal stories like this with you because I want to show you examples. Recovery and healing aren't linear. And a lot of you talk about how my posts and blogs inspire you. And I think (at least for most of you) that you don't think less of me, or think I'm a failure because I slipped up. I don't even think you'd think I was a failure if I gave into a bad habit I've worked hard to kick. I think you see me as human, and that the work I've done is still valid.

My main lesson here is... You deserve to give yourself that same compassion and understanding.

(For those wondering, because I tend to share this in my posts like this, the skills I utilized were my Urge Surfing skill to ride the wave and I then used my Pros & Cons skill to decide between two different actions).

#personal

[xieyaohuan]

the fact that homelander from the boys gets fan attention (in any sort of romantic/affectionate way; x readers ESPECIALLY) kind of proves the point of the show's satirical message

Thank you for the ask. It's been a long day at work, I'm looking for ways to kill the last hour before dinner and drinks, and I still have writer's block, so let me respond to this, even though I think a lot of this has already been said by many others, but I guess it can never hurt to repeat certain points.

First, I'd actually be interested what you mean by "proves the point of the show." What is the point that is proven? That people like fake heroes? That people are incapable of seeing beyond Homelander's facade? That people do see beyond the facade and like him anyway? That people like fascists? That people suck? This is a good faith question and I'd be really interested in hearing your thoughts on this, either on or off anon.

I can't really speak for the rest of us, but this is an important point to understand about the relationship between fiction and real life (and I suspect a lot of people who like Homelander actually feel the same), and the point is this: the things we like in fiction are not the same as the things we like in real life. For me personally, this applies to drama in relationships. I hate it with a passion, but unless it's at Bridgerton level of relationship drama, I kind of like it in fiction. In fact, I would probably really hate to watch shows about the kinds of relationships I prefer for my personal life. I don't write Homelander x reader fic because I'm a weird, old-fashioned millenial, not because I think writing x reader fic is wrong, but my educated guess is that most of the people who do write x reader fic also would not want Homelander as their real life boyfriend - if not for their hatred of relationship drama then out of simple self-preservation (most people just don't want to be abused or killed by their real life partner).

Now, dislike of relationship drama is a harmless example, so let's use another one and go a little bit deeper here because liking Homelander is far from the most problematic thing about me for people who like to hunt other people for their supposedly "problematic behavior." I'm a sadist who enjoys putting her favorite fictional men through horrible, horrible physical and emotional pain. That's just what I like, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that because, again, it would never occur to me to do any of these things in real life. For rather obvious reasons, I am actively disgusted by people who do do the things I write about in my fic in real life. Because unlike the things in my head (or any consent play between consenting adults), real life is real and real people get hurt.

I think it's actually important to understand this distinction between real life and fiction/fantasy because it helps people be kinder to themselves instead of beating themselves up or suppressing what they like because they think it's "problematic." In my experience, people who have examined and can accept what they like in fiction, especially if it is something darker or unconventional, tend to have a pretty healthy grasp of boundaries and consent in real life simply because they have been forced to examine themselves and to think about issues that others have suppressed or have never been forced to think about.

Long story short, I like Homelander because he is an interesting villain, but probably also for a bunch of other reasons that aren't purely intellectual, including how he behaves towards Madelyn, which I find kind of hot. That doesn't mean that I approve of either the atrocities Homelander has committed or of the way he has been raised as a product who is emotionally dependent on the praise of his surrogate parents at Vought. Both are messed up, and I would never look at either of these in real life and think: ha, that's totally awesome and healthy and the kind of behavior I would want to engage in!

Anyway, peace and love.

#thank you for the ask #anon #homelander #fandom meta #fiction versus reality