Hi, not sure if this counts toward your no-crossover rules but can I have Megumi, Gojo, Maki and Noritoshi with a rival reader who is like Gai from Naruto?
If not then just them with a rival relationship with the reader.
With a Rival Reader
Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen
Character(s): Satoru Gojo, Noritoshi Kamo, Make Zenin, Megumi Fushiguro
Type of Request: Headcanons
Note(s): Reader having the personality of a character from another fandom is exactly why I have the no crossover rule in place (I kept getting tons of asks for Reader with various personalities with characters that it started feeling unoriginal and a bit boring to write).
I will be happy to write the second one for you though!! Also, it wasn't mentioned if Reader is supposed to be an S/O or not so these are mostly Platonic
Gojo
Oh this cocky piece of shit can't help but laugh when he hears that you consider yourself his rival, because he certainly doesn't. He has only known one person that he'd count as a rival and that person is long gone.
Sure, go ahead and keep training and pushing yourself to be stronger. He likes the idea of being used as motivation for you to push yourself (probably makes jokes about you being obsessed with him or smth)
Of course, when he does realize that you do have a similar power level to him, that's when things get interesting. Gojo has very specific goals and way of thinking and so he'll definitely want to get you on his side at least. It'd be fun for the strongest two people to pair up and scare the rest of the higher ups shitless.
Maki
She likes the motivation you give her to get stronger. Not that she needed much motivation from you, but it's a good way for her to access her own strengths compared to someone else.
So long as your rivalry is just as jujutsu sorcerers then she can deal with it. Don't mess with her chances with the Zenin clan though.
If you try to be her rival in other aspects (relationships, for example) then she doesn't get it. Now, if you bring up Yuta then she'll start getting flustered and fight you about it.
Megumi
He doesn't even realize that you view him as a rival. Megumi is mostly focused on himself and getting better with his own abilities. It isn't until you challenge him and actually call yourself his rival out loud that he gets it.
Is a tiny bit amused that you'd declare yourself as his rival when he didn't even view you as such previously. He isn't trying to insult you, his focus just wasn't on you (which still sounds a bit insulting).
Honestly, your "rivalry" ends up with you interacting with Itadori and Nobara a lot which just causes more exhaustion for him since now there's someone else's antics to deal with.
Noritoshi
Doesn't even view you as his rival (this time it is an insult, unlike with Megumi). Noritoshi has very personal goals in mind and he's not going to compete with someone that knows nothing about him.
You can be his rival all you want, but he's not going to acknowledge you. Noritoshi works and does as his clan says. Accepting your challenges or rising to any taunts you have isn't going to happen (unless you mention his mom then he might kill you).
And yet, as much as he claims you aren't his rival, he can't help but be jealous and upset with you. You're able to just casually call yourself his rival without a care in the world. He would love to be able to have the freetime to play along with you, but he doesn't because he has to continue to pretend to be a good boy for his clan if he wants to build a home for his mother to come back.
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Here's one of those uncomfortable tidbits that no one wants to think about and which people in cozy internet bubbles hate being reminded of:
The way you speak about people you dislike/hate is a red flag to people you do like/love.
The way you express anger and frustration and rage about people who wronged you, even people who wronged you badly, in a wider context, is very often a red flag for others around you. Do you let your anger be a justification to use dehumanizing language? Slurs? Are your personal feelings the measure you use to determine who is allowed personhood and who isn't?
This doesn't mean you're not allowed to be angry. This doesn't mean that you're not allowed to express said anger. It doesn't even mean your anger is not justified.
But if you find yourself sitting alone in your corner of rage, wondering why your personal connections tend to wither and fizz out, it probably is because you're constantly talking about people who make you angry and all the things you'd like to do to them. And like, people who first encounter that, might be sympathetic, might be wary, but the more visceral your anger is, the more readily you express it, the more people start wondering what's the threshold to trigger that behavior. Will you be talking about them in that tone too, if they piss you off? Will they be the subject of one of your tirades, if they make a mistake? Are you going to go on a rampage, calling them slurs, if it turns out they don't agree with you?
Anger is, for better or for worse, the kind of emotion you share with close friends, not with strangers trying to become friends, or new friends who don't know you yet. Anger is the kind of thing a good friend will know how to parse. But if it's a new person and all they know about you is how angry you are about something or someone, they will lack the context to understand that your anger is justified and that it's not the entirety of your personality... because you have made it so that's the only part of your personality they've seen.
Discord culture being what it is, it's fascinating how prevalent "vent" channels are, and how people just go in there and scream their rage in search of sympathy. But it tends to back fire, because to get sympathy from strangers, your venting needs to be edited to sound like you're in the right. Your anger needs to be righteous, to evoke support in those vent spaces. And it becomes a cycle.
Cause the thing is, anger isn't always justified or righteous. Sometimes you're BEC about someone! (Bitch Eating Crackers, a shorthand for "this person annoys me to an irrational amount, anything they do is parsed as a negative", "LOOK AT THE BITCH, EATING CRACKERS" etc.) And that's anger that needs to be expressed and processed! But that's the kind of anger that only close friends can handle. If you put that anger out, performing in the hopes of getting support, you're going to need to either lie egregiously about why you're angry, or you're going to alienate a ton of people because it turns out "is capable of irrational anger about things/people" is a pretty common red flag when that's all you know about someone.
Just.
I keep seeing post after post of people bemoaning being lonely and abandoned and failing to establish long-lasting connections and it's just.
It's the anger. You keep greeting people with anger and anger is a great emotion to fuel a lot of things, like change and protection and closing ranks, but it's kinda shit at building long lasting connections. Try curiosity or good will! It doesn't mean you have to stop being angry, either. If you're angry, you're angry! But when you're trying to build relationships, using anger as an all-purpose tool is like trying to hammer a nail with a saw.
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Another year, another absurd amount of books read (296, because if I wasn't reading or writing this year, my brain was on fire). I was asked again for my top books of the year, so here we go: 2023's top 10, in no particular order.
This was the first book I read of the year--literally, vacated the hangout with my wife and sibling-in-laws to sit on their couch upstairs and eat through it. Do you love The Fall of the House of Usher, but wish for a nonbinary protagonist and a lot more mushrooms? This is the book for you! (T. Kingfisher is fucking rad, I made a concerted effort to only list ONE of her books on here, but honorable mention goes to The Twisted Ones for fucking me upppp.)
A gay, post-apocolyptic Pinocchio retelling involving copious robots, found family elements, and a cool-ass treehouse. Klune always hits for me with his unrepentant queer family dynamics and sense of humor. Honorable mention to the first two in the Green Creek series (although that's got a lot more...adult elements in among the werewolves, you've been warned).
I thiiiink I found this through The Homo Schedule podcast (PSA: if you missed out on Jasmin Savoy Brown and Liv Hewson doing a podcast together, now you know better), and it wrecked my shit. Tons of trigger warnings, as this is a memoir about abuse within a queer relationship, but it's so beautifully written. I personally suggest listening to the audiobook first, then standing anxiously behind someone at a book warehouse sale, hoping they'll set down the only paperback copy so you can swipe it.
A fantastical-historical reimagining in which the KKK is filled with literal monsters, and Black women are resistance fighters armed to take them out. Visceral and intense, and truly an excellent horror story.
Just. Such a soft time travel story about a daughter and her father and cherishing the time you get with loved ones. I was thoroughly unprepared for how lovely I found this one. It's very kind.
Spooky house, take-no-shit redhead, protective sibling elements, bisexual recluse with a sword who really just needs a nap. I haven't found a Harrow book yet I haven't slapped five stars on. She's so good at character and atmosphere, and I'm always surprised at how fast her stories race by.
The whole Daevabad trilogy (of which this is the first book) is just magical. A girl from the mortal world finds herself embroiled with the centuries-long prejudices and wars of djinn in a fantastical city. It's one of the rare stories of its kind that does have a love triangle, but doesn't feel like a love triangle; it's far less interested in the insufferable "who gets picked" than it is in the actual horrors these people are both perpetrating and coping with. It's an intoxicating ride.
Fuck You, TERFS: the book. Given that fact, there's obviously quite a lot of transphobia to deal with, but it's very clear that those people are wrong, and it's a super-engaging (and super-oh-god-what-comes-next) witchy time populated with queer, protective, interesting characters I'm excited to see again in the follow-up.
Have you ever wanted a haunted house story with visceral imagery and a rather lovely twist? Gailey has you covered. As much as I enjoyed The Echo Wife, I think I actually loved this one more, and it makes me so excited to see what else they've got up their sleeve.
One of my final reads for the year, when I was just churning through hardcovers at the speed of sound. I love this book. I recognize it won't be for everyone, but it takes so much of what I love about IT (one of my all-time favorite books, despite its flaws) and twists it through the lens of an author who escaped the Mormon church. It's horrific, it's fantastically abstract in places, it explores childhood and memory, imagination and abuse, and almost every character is queer. It's a great "I simply cannot sleep until I've finished" read.
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i love love your blog!!! could you write a oneshot of best friend! lottie pining over fem! reader and confessing after she gets jealous when a guy flirts with reader at the party?
Lottie Mathews| I'll be yours, if you'll have me
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Thank you so much!
I've read a few fics like this with lottie so I hope this didn't turn out to be too similar to them
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"Ok Lottie, I love you but there's no way you're wearing this shity dress that you stole from TJ Max to Jeff's party. The whole damn school is going to be there!"
Lottie groans and puts that dress to the side while pouting. For a rich girl your taste is very shity Matthews, you're lucky you're cute.
"You only talk shit because you look good in everything."
You giggle at your best friend's childish behaviour and take her hand to pull her towards the closest. All of the deliberate fashion advice that you give her doesn't register to Lottie's brain, her head is already full of you and how gorgeous you look in this outfit and how your make up is flawless and how soft your voice sounds and how silky your hair looks and-
"Earth to Lottie? Do you like the blue skirt or the grey one with this top?"
"Um the blue for sure."
You only nod at her and continue looking through her accessories. Lottie is already stumbling with her words and you haven't even gotten to the party yet. She can practically hear Taissa's voice in her head. 'She's literally head over heels for you just confess to her already'.
"Easier said than done." She mumbles quietly as she stares at you trying to envision a pair of silver earrings with the outfit you've assembled and her insides feel warm.
When you arrive at the party, only 30 minutes late, majority of the people are drunk off their asses. You and Lottie move through the crowd keeping eachother in sight so you don't get lost. Now, when it comes to parties the Yellowjackets usually are spread around. Van and Tai are most likely having a make out session in a random room at Jeff's house. Speaking of Jeff, him and Jackie are probably together and where Jackie is Shauna has to be nearby. Nat is with her friends and Misty is probably not even here.
You and Lottie share a look and mutually decide that it's better to just hang with eachother for now. You enter Jeff's house and like you expected there are tons of people there, talking, dancing and drinking. Speaking of drinking...
"Hey Lot, will you go grab us some drinks? I'll try to look if any of the girls are around here."
Lottie just nods and makes her way to the kitchen where the drinks are, leaving you alone in the crowded living room. After you took a good look at all the people and didn't recognise any of the girls you decided to head towards the pool. That's usually were all the popular girls are and by extension the jocks and if the jocks are there Jeff, Jackie and Shauna must be as well. Sure enough, you spot the three of them sitting in the side of the pool. You start to head to them but someone calls your name and you stop in your tracks. It's a guy from the baseball team, his name is something like Martin..?
He cuts your path to your friends by getting in front of you and starts complimenting your outfit.
"You look so good in that... urm whatever it is! Even at school you always dress so nice. It seems like you know what fits you perfectly. You know what would fit me?"
You suppress a sigh as you heavily contemplate on saying no and just walking away but since Lottie isn't even here yet, and this guy has no chance at all you decide to humor him.
"What would?"
He chuckles and moves closer to you bringing his hand on your chin.
"You, of course."
You can't really hold your laugh this time as a giggle slips through. Unfortunately for you the boy took that as approval of his horrible flirting and got closer as he wrapped his arm around you. At this point you were ready to push him off you hear someone shout from behind you.
"Hey get your hands off of her Markus!"
The boy instantly turns around to look at a very pissed off Lottie coming towards you. She doesn't even wait for him to say anything before she tugs you on her side and glares at him.
"Get the fuck out of here. Now."
You can't help but be surprised at her aggression as you keep looking between her and Markus. Lottie rarely got so angry. As Markus leaves embarrassed Lottie is still following him with her eyes. You look at her face, trying to study her expression.
"Um, Lot? What was that?"
She looks at you surprised, as if she just now realized how obvious her jealousy was. She can even see Jackie and Shauna looking at her with a questioning look.
"Nothing, he was just being creepy and I helped."
You fold your arms over your chest and look at her with a 'do not bullshit me Matthews' look.
"You went like full beast mode there Lot. I've only seen you get like that, like, twice."
Lottie can't handle your questions or the looks from her teammates and there are just so many fucking people in this stupid pool area. So without another word Lottie just storms off, leaving as fast as she came in.
You follow after her as you keep calling out her name. You are even more confused now. Why did she get so angry at that boy flirting with you? And why did she get so defensive when you asked her about it?
You eventually manage to catch up with her in what looks like a guest room. She's sitting down on the bed and looks up at you with e defeated expression.
"Well damn Matthews now you really have to tell me what the fuck was that."
Lottie takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. There's no way out of this now, she knows that much, but still she's scared of telling you how she feels. She can't bear the thought of loosing you. You're the most important person in her life. The one who understands everything when it comes to her parents and her schizophrenia and all that comes with that. You're a good person so she knows that you won't be disgusted or anything but just seeing that pitying look on your face as you try to gently reject her would break her heart. Well it's not like you have any other choice.
"I um... I was jealous." She can see how you're even more confused now but thankfully you let her continue. "There's a reason why I never like anyone you date. Even when they're good people. It's because I get jealous. And I get jealous because well, I like you."
Your eyes widen for a moment and then soften as you look at her sweetly.
"Oh Lot, I like you too, you know that right?" Lottie is so surprised but excited to hear you say that, she almost can't believe it. "There's no way I would let any stupid boyfriend, or girlfriend, come between us. We're best friends."
Best friends
Of course, how did Lottie ever think that you'd like her like that? She feels frustration bubbling up in her chest. You didn't even understand what she meant. Well if she's going to confess might as well do it properly, so she can get rejected properly as well.
"I want to be your stupid girlfriend!"
She doesn't even mean to shout but her words shake you anyway. Holy shit Lottie fucking Matthews said she wants to be my girlfriend?! You are too busy with your internal panic to notice Lottie being on the verge of tears. All you see is a blur passing by you and heading for the door.
Oh hell no, you're not running away again.
You manage to grab her wrist before she makes her escape and spin her around so she's facing you. You don't waste a single second as you grab her face and bring her down so your lips meet in what definitely seems to be the best kiss of your damn life.
Lottie immediately gets the memo as she puts her hands on your waste. It's impossible to kiss for much longer because both of you can't stop grinning. When you pull back, you take a moment to just look at your girlfriend.
"I think we need to thank Markus for this."
"Oh fuck no."
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NICE my post got two notes anyways here's my thoughts on the pines fam handling over/understimulation as a neurodivergent and mentally ill family in my own personal canon
putting this under a readmore again because uhhh as always with my headcanons there's a lot and it'll probably be annoying to scroll thru over and over
if anyone else has any thoughts about this feel free 2 add onto this post <3 <3 <3 would love to hear it!!!!! ^_^
starting off with mabel, obviously she CRAVES stimulation so so badly and is constantly looking for something new to do, to the point where her default state is Slightly Overstimulated. i figure she also struggles with emotional dysregulation (even worse because mabel is literally just a kid and isnt equipped to handle heightened emotions with grace just yet sdfjjds) and she absolutely canNOT be understimulated or else she will explode the ENTIRE state of oregon. however a couple too many unpleasant sounds or textures or tastes at once and her entire day is ruined- well, it's not really, but it sure feels like it at the time. she starts angry crying and hitting things and only really calms down when she is completely separated from whatever was upsetting her or vice versa (her threshold for the amount of overstimulation she can handle before snapping probably lowers Significantly post-weirdmageddon), having waddles with her usually cheers her up a lot quicker though<3
ford is actually similar to her in a few aspects here, he too is running as far away from understimulation as possible, always sitting in his room tinkering with some new invention or running around catching some new creature to occupy himself. (he wasn't always like this! as a kid, between him and stan he was definitely and obviously the more docile one. but as an adult he feels the need to seek stimulation moreso because he needs to distract himself from his constant stream of often unpleasant thoughts) this has the unpleasant side effect of isolating himself from the people around him, but it's not intentional, it's just that busying himself with projects and studying the supernatural is his Default Solution to having nothing to do. it's comfortable for him. he also has the Thing where if he isn't explicitly invited to join someone, he doesn't feel comfortable doing so, even if he really wants to.
dipper and stan are completely different from mabel and ford in that they just. nobody ever told them that understimulation is not the default state of existing for everyone else??? so they just??? Put up with it regularly???? dipper stims frequently without realizing to combat this- clicking/chewing on pens over and over and pacing his room for example, but more often than not it isn't Quite Enough and he doesn't know Why. this is also why dipper's anxiety is So bad- sitting around without making an effort to distract himself from his many thoughts will often get him catastrophizing within minutes (him and ford probably bond over having Too Much Thought Head Full). in fact, if he didn't have mabel around to remind him to have fun and use his time wisely instead of getting stuck inside his own head for hours on end he would probably be a very different and much less emotionally stable person than he is in the show jsdjfjsda
stan doesn't stim very much except when he's genuinely scared or upset, in which case he is cracking his knuckles, gripping onto the closest fabric so hard it almost tears, pulling off his cuticles, picking at scabs etc etc (you can imagine how much he fucked up his skin in the days following both instances of him losing ford). he probably had very different habits when he was a kid though- because come on. stan was totally the poster child for audhd, constantly running around and being loud to satisfy his lil brain. however within a few years certain nd behaviors stop being "cute" to others and instead start attracting a shit ton of ridicule so now his only stims are ones which are inconspicuous and could be passed off as stress habits instead of being a clear sign of neurodivergence- plus he probably ended up developing shittier coping mechanisms while running around for 10 years after getting kicked out. but it's not like he can smoke or drink all the time with the kids (wendy and soos included) around though so his options are kinda limited
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໒⦂ 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐂𝐒.
notes. reposted from wp!
genre. fluff + crack
ft. tooru oikawa, yuji terushima, atsumu + osamu miya, shigeru yahaba, keiji akaashi, shoyo hinata
gender neutral! reader
➫ 𝓞𝗜𝗞𝗔𝗪𝗔 𝓣𝗢𝗢𝗥𝗨 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ sleepovers with oikawa are wILD LIKE GIRL GET READY OMG —
⌗ lots of snacks and y'all would bake cookies together after running to like, walmart in pajamas
⌗ cuz you guys have sleepovers so offen you practically have clothes at each other's houses. oikawa has matching alien pajamas for y'all istg — imagine walking into the store at 10pm lookin like a bunch of dorks searchin for cookie mix-
⌗ FACIALS — girl you already know oikawa has all that good shit that just — wOrKs wOnDErs. expensive asf too, but he has money🧍♀️
⌗ jamming to boybands; i don't make the rules, he does😻
⌗ sleep? with all the sci-fi movies he wants to watch? honeyyy😪
⌗ cUdDLinG cuz oikawa KNOWS how to hug istg like he's so wARm AND GIRL THOSE ARMS PLEASE-
➫ 𝓣𝗘𝗥𝗨𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗔 𝓨𝗨𝗝𝗜 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ TIKTOKS — istg yes y'all are makin tiktoks cuz teru do b famous🤾
⌗ pictures too — terushima would prolly also try n vlog your whole sleepover for you guys to watch later and just rEmiNisCe✨ he would totally edit the whole thing too and make it bomb asf
⌗ deadass feel like yuji would bring up the idea of going on omegele to screw w ppl a lil bit —
⌗ the girls would lose their shit and tbh if i saw him, me too😐
⌗ fuck tons of soda n pizza; no sleep🤩
⌗ ngl y'all would definitely pull up on wp or tumblr n make fun of sum nsfw posts
⌗ HE DOES YOUR HAIR HXJDKSKS
➫ 𝓜𝗜𝗬𝗔 𝓣𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗦 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ they're kind of a packaged deal- so you get both unless you wanna sit n watch them argue for 368393 years over you😐
⌗ DUMBASSES START ARGUING OVER THE TOP BUNK HDJSKLSLSKS
⌗ you make them both sleep on the floor BAHHAHAHAHAHAHA as you should.
⌗ they have loads of gaming consoles so i can see y'all playing a couple rounds of smash maybe or pulling up on the wii to play either just dance, mk or mario party
⌗ each time atsumu loses he throws a fit n starts complaining, asking for rematches every five minutes until samu kicks him🧍♀️
⌗ OSAMU MAKES DINNER HXJSKSKSL
⌗ at some point after knocking out, you'll wake up to get a glass of water and that's when you catch those two hugging each other in their sleep 😶 you take pictures for the team-
➫ 𝓨𝗔𝗛𝗔𝗕𝗔 𝓢𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗨 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ ahem, for my underrated crackheaded son- Y'ALL WOULD HAVE THE SOFTEST YET MOST CHAOTIC SLEEPOVER EVER
⌗ HE HAS SHIT ON EVERYONE OMG
⌗ too much tea and too little sleep
⌗ because of his horrible strategies when it comes to picking up girls, you end up giving him a few tips, he needs them-
⌗ i feel like earlier in the day, you'd end up going shopping together and take some really pretty pictures later under some flowers
⌗ you guys would totally bake toooo, cream puffs cuz you were teasing him about his hair zhsjskslldl you save some for makki🙈
⌗ deep conversations about future stuff cuz he's worried about the third years leaving and nervous; please hug him-
➫ 𝓐𝗞𝗔𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗜 𝓚𝗘𝗜𝗝𝗜 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ you guys would have such a relaxing sleepover omg
⌗ facials and manicures cuz boy needs to keep his own nails nice n taken care of for those smooth ass sets
⌗ i feel like akaashi would have a pool so bring a bathing suit with you🥰
⌗ i headcanon him being able to play piano tbh, he just seems like that kinda classy guy to me- but ofc really shy and maybe a pinch self conscious abt playing, so he'll reluctantly play something for you but it'll sound sooo good
⌗ deep conversations as well because yk he's mostly close with the third years and well as draining as bokuto can be, he doesn't want him to go, or konoha and the others🙁
⌗ please reassure him hdjsksk he needs it.
⌗ studio ghibli movies🥺 i feel like his favorite would be spirited away cuz the visuals and him empathizing with haku??
➫ 𝓗𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗔 𝓢𝗛𝗢𝗬𝗢 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ he'd probably come to your house and pick you up at the crack of mf dawn to go to morning practice with him first before going to his house😐
⌗ PORK BUNS AND LOADS OF FOOD
⌗ natsu would be home and she prolly wants sum attention🥺🥺 shoyo would get jealous of her for hogging you at some point xhsjsksls
⌗ he tries to bake with you-
⌗ he would talk your ear off all night about stuff which tbh you wouldn't mind cuz he's so mf cute and it's admirable how passionate he is about what he does and his teammates, opponents too; we stan a sweet lil birb who respects everyone💘
⌗ PLEASE PLAY DS W HIM HDSJKS HE HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO PLAY MULTIPLAYER CUZ KENMA AIN'T THERE SOOOO
⌗ he lets you sleep on his bed while he takes the floor because he wants you to be comfortable😭 love you sm sho<3
notes. honestly these could either be platonic or romantic now that i think abt it
↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask
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Fanfiction Singalongs: August by Flipturn x TNT duo fanfiction
I wanna start a series where I recommend fanfictions and songs that remind me of them.
This fic is about two friends who've been friends for a very long time, one colossal misunderstanding. This fic is about two messy people getting messy, and getting messed up as a result of it. It sports a gorgeous writing style, paired with very deliberately formatted paragraphs to pack an extra punch. It's sarcastic, adorable, infuriating, and makes you want to drop-kick some sense into the both of them. You feel everything that Quackity is feeling and more, and that is both a blessing and a curse. Albeit long for a one-shot, this fanfiction is definitely worth the read.
I cannot express how much I was blown away by this fanfiction.
Additionally, I cannot listen to this song the same.
This song, I presume, is about two people who've had a shit ton of sexual tension that finally hook up. They do so over the summer, and once the summer is over, their friendship is never the same.
They move on and try their best to never acknowledge it. The singer laments, expressing how they've always loved this person, and how they are looking back on when this person was theirs. And although they've moved on with their lives physically, this person cannot move on emotionally.
"And it sounded so damn good
And it tasted just like it should
We don't talk about it
We don't have the time
We thought love was something
We weren't meant to find
But now you're a stranger
And I'm still July
But don't you remember
August, honey, you were mine."
I'm literally screaming, crying, and shitting my pants over this I cant
Also the acoustic version just goes so much harder?? So yeah, that's the one I'm recommending.
Content warnings:
If smvt in fanfiction is something you're wary of, stay clear. If it's something you enjoy, you'll very much be satisfied with the amount of scenes in this fanfiction. And yet, it is a lot more than the s3x, and that is more than obvious from everything that builds around it. This isn't p0rn with plot. This is plot that uses p0rn as a storytelling tool.
The same thing goes for the substance abuse shown in this fic. Usually, anything that showcases smoking weed, is something I have to immediately click away from. I'm in recovery for addiction, and so mentions of narcotic use is usually something that I'm p sensitive to. However, this fic doesn't harp on the act of getting high. It's only used in detail in one scene, and it doesn't feel like it's glorifying anything. It just feels like it's there. I took the risk and was SO pleasantly surprised, and heavily grateful that I was able to push past the first scene. It's the only scene where they get high.
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Match-up event - Jez
(Nyx and I decided to match each other up for lols)
Let's go. I'm twenty, agender (afab), somewhere between bi and pansexual, poly and somewhere under the aromantic umbrella. Don't mind any pronouns in particular. I want one match-up with a human and one with a ghoul (let's see how you handle it babes). I study writing, might pick up a second major in journalism, dunno yet. Theistic satanist. Monsterfucker. Mask kink af.
I'm 164 centimeters tall (I'm not looking it up in feet). I've got a soft tummy and pretty good ass (lmao). You know how I look like, though I am planning to dye my hair blue.
They're not done yet, but I wanna include this anyway: tattoos. I'm not including any that could guide you to a potential result :p
Little cartoon seal on my right arm (for my sister)
Little cartoon panda on my right arm (for my brother)
Spider-Punk emblem on my left shoulder
666 under my left collar bone
A little plague doctor on my right arm
Also planning to get a shit ton of piercings all over my body. (Not just face and ears if you know what i mean), but that's for later. I like getting my nails done, usually to colors are symbolic or just a reference to something.
I usually wear skinny jeans and hoodies with some weird print. I love oversized hoodies, they are like my main source of comfort. I have chains attached to my pants, and I love wearing too many necklaces. I usually have ghearrings (the ghost crosses) in my ears and another one on a chain around my neck. Also wearing a Baphomet (like the goat head in a pentagram) necklace, a pride heart one, a matching besties necklace with Vic and occasionally a choker. I do occasionally do all out, wearing a white dress shirt, black skinny jeans, a leather jacket and the listed jewelry with my favorite rainbow sneakers and round sunglasses. With lots of rings, mostly something skull/plant/occult themed. Always silverish color, never gold. I don't like gold.
Outside from Ghost, I mostly listen to rock and different kinds of metal. And FNaF songs.
I was a Creepypasta kid. Aside from Polish and English I speak some German and bits of Italian, but very little. I can read most arabic letters (as in I know what sounds they make).
I have lots of different posters on my walls and I have stickers on my furniture because I grew up too fast and I'm catching up on my childhood now. I've got mental issues, including but not limited to autism, ADHD, depression, anxiety, mommy issues and daddy issues. I like calling them my pokemon.
I like writing (though I barely have time for that) and re-watching Total Drama (watched it 8 times just this year) since it manages to keep my attention, something most movies fail to do, which is why I barely watch anything. I get bored very easily. I play the Sims 4 a lot, but I can't build in it for the life of me. I'm amazing at building in the Sims 3. Big fan of Assassin's Creed (I don't like the new ones, though, since it doesn't feel like AC anymore to me). I own many true crime and paranormal activity books, though I can barely read at this point. I like manga, though. Currently collecting the Soul Eater series. I love plushies. I got a new one today. Their name is Pyza. (Yes, they're enby, I even got them a pin)
I know way more about butterflies than I should. I know lots of useless trivia in general. Most of it disturbing. I'm tired 24/7, but my body either wakes up before 7AM or after 6 hours exactly and it's impossible for me to fall asleep again. My room is usually a mess, but that's okay, so am I.
I'm a total introvert, but I'm also so tired with life I forced myself to become the extrovert of the group. I'm really loud if I like people, although my affection is usually random touches on someone's arms and shoulders with a strange noise. I make noises. A lot.
For some reason, babies love me. Even though I personally dislike children. I love pets, though. All sorts of pets. Cats, dogs, snakes, spiders... Anything. If I can pet it, I want to pet it. I love moths from the attacus family, I mean just look at this gorgeous girl!
As for my personality, aside from daily mental breakdowns, I'm relatively chill, just... Very unhinged. I talked about Secondo's dick piercings in McDonald's. Compared to the shit I say, Terzo's an angel.
I think that's all. Have fun babes <3 - Jez
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Some random thoughts on Obey Me! Nightbringer up to lesson 10 (with LOTS of spoilers)
If you ask why I'm making a post like this in this blog is cause I will defend that this is a queer coded game to my last breath –and cause is my blog and I do what I want.
Full disclosure: I'm not done with the first game yet so no spoilers for that one please. I'm guessing I'll get spoiled by Nightbringer anyways as the story progresses, and I already did lol, but I wanna gush about this game because I love it so much already.
Starting with the title screen, oh my gosh the art is beautiful. 10/10 would definitely buy a poster of this.
They continue using they/them for MC and that's a thing we all gotta appreciate. Thank u.
The layout and the art of the game is just SO PRETTY in general. Definitely an upgrade from the first game, credits to the designers and artists.
It's a rhythm game!! I like it, the gameplay is easy enough and in classic Obey Me fashion you gotta be really precise when you click or else, which adds a good layer of difficulty.
We don't have 8 different types of support items, just 4, which makes it easier to keep count of how many we have. I am still broke in-game to buy them tho.
WE CAN GET DEVIL POINTS BY COMPLETING LEVELS THANK U SO MUCH. In contrast, I feel like they give less materials when you clear a stage? I mean, they gotta balance it I guess, or maybe is just me.
The game was lagging like hell when I first started playing tho. Idk if it was the game or my phone that couldn't run it or what, but it's fixed now.
I love the fact they're using the character songs for the levels!!! I was waiting for the unit songs and they took a while, but they're there too. The remixes are fun and I can't believe how good they sound.
Speaking of sound, this game's ost is SO GOOD like huh? I was kinda expecting it cause it's a big production and all but bruh. Every now and then I end up having to stop because I gotta appreciate the bgm. There was this one funny song where a banjo started playing and I straight up laughed out loud. 10/10
MK is that you?
Coming back to the layout and the designs: THERE'S SO MUCH RURI HANA IN HERE!!!!!! Love it. 20/10. Best thing ever. Whoever decided to add that I hope they're having an amazing day.
Also, is that a Ruri Hana Miss Em?? Gosh I love this game.
And I'm not done gushing about the designs yet cause LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK!!!! He's so cute!!!!🧡🧡🧡
HE'S SO PRECIOUS JUST LOOK AT HIM!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡
The art for the cards is really pretty and I need more Levi cards so badly asap
Also, there's a shit ton of extra content, wow. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole 3D models yet (mostly cause my phone only gives me bad renditions of them) but the extra content is slice of life funny bits. I like that they're voice acted, they're good.
Hey so y'know how you can click on the characters and get voice messages in the home screen and how you interact with them in the surprise guest screen? In neither of those I can click on Levi's tail and I consider that a crime against all Levi stans.
OKAY SO when this game was announced and as time went on and we got little pieces of the plot, not gonna lie I was worried. When it comes to time and time travel this franchise has a, well, a record. I'm still worried how it's gonna develop but for now I really like the things they're showing in the main story regarding the characters and the plot. Just, y'know, fingers crossed it doesn't become a mess.
Honestly the timeline is a mess already as it is. We met Luke and he has apparently just started learning how to bake, but in the first game he says he's been doing it for about 300 years, so it's been only 300 years between the end of the Celestial War and the beginning of the first game? Shouldn't the time be at least a few thousand years?? I'm solving this by doing a headcanon that time moves differently in different worlds cause otherwise the lack of coherence bothers me too much.
I'm so intrigued about Nightbringer himself. You think the prologue is giving us a red herring about who he is? Will it be a new character? An old one? Us from the future? They did a good job in implementing the mystery and I can't wait.
I was rereading this chat we have with them at the beginning of the game and something caught my eye:
Do you think maybe we'll start jumping between time as the story continues? So that we'll be at and see different time periods with different characters?? 🤔
This guy has an omurice for an icon when we all know he can't cook to save his life and I find that so ironic xD I like how much he's getting involved in the story so far too
I still don't know who gave them the right to go THIS HARD on a rhythm otome game. I love this thing what the hell. I wish I went this hard with my own projects.
That's all, I'll be waiting for more lessons to drop✌️
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Rhaemond babies content - Jacaela Edition!
The many faces of
Daella Velaryon
Daella is the 2nd born child of both Baela and Jace, she was born 4yrs after her elder brother Aethan (my idea with Jacaela is that while they absolutely love to fuck a lot, Baela is very keen on drinking a daily dose of Moon Tea. She doesn't wish to push out a shit ton of babies, not like Rhaena will eventually 😂😂 so the gaps between Jacaela's babies are a bit bigger).
Daella was born with bright vividly luminescent violet eyes (eyes that made Rhaenyra tear up upon holding her newborn granddaughter, as they reminded her of her own late mother's eyes) and similarly shimmering dark chocolate brown curly hair as her elder brother. Her grandpapa Daemon was nearly choked up as he held his newborn granddaughter, he'd murmured to his daughter "ziry jurnegon sepār hae ao gōntan skori īlē āzma," she looks just as you did when you were born. And it was true, despite her slightly paler complexion, and the slight hints of Jace which graced the babes face, she looked to be very much a little mini version of Baela.
On the list of names that Baela and Jace had prepared should they have a girl, Daella was not their first choice. Originally they thought of Laena, to honour Baela's mother, they thought of Aemma to honour to Rhaenyra's own, they thought of Alyssa to honour their father, Daemon's own mother, and they thought of Daenys, to honour the dreamer that saved their ancestors from the flames of Old Valyria.
But oddly, when Baela held her little girl in her arms for the first time, with her loving husband, Jacaerys sitting by her side, cooing sweetly at their child. They both seemed to wordlessly agree that none of their chosen names truly suited their darling girl. And as their 4yr old son climbed up onto their bed to greet his sister, the rest of their family had been given permission to enter as well. And once the younger children of the family were allowed to meet their new family member, it became a bit more chaotic (granted, I think baby Daella was very chill, so while all of the kids are screaming their suggestions, Daella's just comfortably curling into her mama's arms).
Baela and Jace's 2yr old niece, Vaella, had wiggled in her father's arms bouncing as she suggested proudly that her new cousin should be named Visenya after the conqueror. At that, their own son, Aethan, quickly glared at his cousin and countered that his new sister should be named Rhaenys instead (they didn't know it yet, but the rivalry started even earlier than they thought! 😂😂)
Their little brothers Joff, Aeggie and Vis, now 13yrs old, 9yrs old and 5yrs old. Had their own little opinions with their 9yr old twin cousins Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, the names suggested being Aerea, Alysanne and Viserra. Which as the couple pondered, they agreed were all lovely suggestions...yet still none of them would suit their babe. It would be their sister, ever the quiet perceptive one, Rhaena, who would waddle over to them (so technically Rhaemond's twins Daemion and Aelyx are born the same year as Daella, and story wise I haven't worked out who's born first...but I feel like Daella would be a great Spring baby while the twins feel very Summer to me. So in this instant, let's say Rhaena is still very much pregnant with the twins). Pressing a sweet kiss to her newborn niece, Rhaena smiled at her siblings and said "her name should most definitely start with a 'D', it would suit her. Daenys or possibly Daella?"
Daella had struck Baela instantly, while Jace teetered more on the edge of Daenys. But as Baela hummed the name Daella softly over her babe, she noticed her girl gurgle in delight at the sound, the first name she recognized as something she approved of. And while the children still bickered, the adults knew the matter was settled. The newest member of the Targaryen family finally had a name, Daella Velaryon (partially retroactively named after Rhaenyra's maternal grandmother/Daemon's aunt, but it feels less intentional here 😂)
Unlike Aethan, Daella's dragon had hatched in her crib. A hatchling birthed from a clutch brought by Silverwing and Vermithor (a gift from aunty Rhaena and uncle Aemond). A deep lavender toned she-dragon, that shimmered iridescently especially in natural light. She had horns and claws that were pure white at their base, but bled dark onyx to their tips. Lilarion, Daella would name her, as not similarly to her grandpapa's mount, Caraxes, Lilarion also had a fault in her vocal chords. It was not a physical malformation, not seen by the naked eye, but the she-dragon's roar was often said to sound like piercing shattering glass mixed with the boom of thunder.
As a babe and a toddler, Daella was indeed a favourite of Rhaenyra's (my idea here, is that while Rhaenyra absolutely considers Baela and Rhaena to be her daughters, I think subconsciously there's still the part of her that would have wanted to raise a baby girl from birth. Rip Visenya. And so, while they may not be 'daughters' per se, I think Rhaenyra gets really happy with the chance to help raise her granddaughters/baby nieces). With Vaella only having visited the capital from time to time, Rhaenyra's time with her was limited compared to the time she could spend with her new granddaughter Daella who lived in the castle with her.
So with that fact, Queen Rhaenyra happily brought the little girl with her almost everywhere. Sat upon her lap during council meetings, during hearings upon the throne, and in her mind such obvious devotion was done to prove two points. One, was simply that she'd use any and all excuses at her disposal just to justify carrying her sweet little granddaughter around with her throughout the day. But secondly, it encouraged her serving nobles and subjects to relinquish the notion that any Targaryens born to this family who happened to have dark brown hair should be viewed as anything less than what they were... Targaryens.
It was an example Rhaenyra hoped to instill with her actions, but it was one her husband and King Consort, Daemon, was all too happy to threaten with verbally (I just imagine Daemon walking around or sitting council meetings/throne room hearings carrying an adorable baby while he threatens people like business as usual 😂😂 bonus points if he has Aethan along with him too).
In either case, Daella as a babe was still slightly more coddled than her brother. She was softer, more sensitive, the tiniest little criticism was sometimes enough for her break into tears. She was very self conscious about her hair, about her knowledge of things, and even though she was just as loved and doted upon as her brother had been...there was something waning on her self esteem. Whether it was her ability to learn and repeat Valyrian words back to her parents, or her ability to hold and practice with a practice sword, little Daella seemed to think she was lacking in something.
But it was due to that fact, that Aethan took it upon himself to be her number one protector, as soon as she was old enough to walk and talk, Aethan guarded his sister as if he was her very own little sworn sword.
Little did he know, his younger sister's self esteem issues developed in the face of feeling somewhat inferior to her elder brother. Through no fault of his own, Aethan was effectively the Golden Boy of his family. He was bright and he was quick to grasp things, where Daella needed more visual methods taught to her, she needed teachers with patience and more time to learn things (I kinda want to imply that she's possibly dyslexic, maybe with a medieval sort of neurodivergent vibe to her, but overall just a rather shy kid who needs more interactive learning).
It was a lesson that took her family a few years to understand, especially for her mama. Baela was not one for patience or taking things slowly. Unknowingly, she could become frustrated, speaking directly if not bluntly, she was never harsh or cruel, but to the young toddler, Daella, she took the tone of her mama's frustrated voice rather personally. And it often made her frustrated as well, brought to tears as she became frustrated with herself for no understanding or reaching the correct conclusion in a timely manner.
Oddly enough it had been Baela's very own father, Daella's grandpapa Daemon, who had informed his daughter that her quick insistences on performance and psuedo perfection was stressing her baby girl to bits. And grandmama Rhaenyra could attest to it, that Daella was an incredibly bright girl when given the chance to reach conclusions at her own time. It had been a tearful sit conversation, when Baela took her daughter in her arms and sat with her in the quiet royal gardens one evening. Attempting to apologize to her 4yr old, she reasoned with the toddler, that she'd gotten stuck in a groove of sorts, working at a speed that everyone around her seemed capable of following. But that it wasn't fair for her to try and make Daella function at such a speed, if it was not suitable to her. Daella for her part hadn't entirely understood what her mama was saying, but she understood the emotional beats behind her words. So she simply crawled over to her mama and climbed up upon her lap, hugging her sweetly, nuzzling in against the safe warmth that only her mama could provide. Nodding along an "okay, mama" as if she understood everything.
As Daella grew, she was found to be a particular quiet child. Even when she played with her brother, cousins and uncles, she never seemed to be as boisterous or loud as they were. She liked to play with Jaehaera and Viserys II the most, because they seemed to understand her best. Vis had always been an incredibly patient boy with Daella and while Jaehaera always seemed to be rather chatty in Daella's presence, Daella had never minded. In her cousin's company she grew to find a fondness in romantic tales and myths, glittering gowns, and the idea of shimmering feasts and balls...gleaming white knights and Princes and Princesses. It was an interest Jaehaera had sparked within her, one that carried over to her aunt Helaena. The three of which could often be found reading such romantic tales in the gardens, if not imagining worlds of their own as they played various games.
When she wasn't spending her time with other family members, Daella actually stuck quite close to her papa. Almost always toddling along at his heels, riding on his back, flying with him on Vermax or swinging from his arms. She liked hearing tales from his youth, especially because she loved hearing how all her uncles used to behave when they were young. She loved her papa's bedtime stories, where he always made sure to end things with a happy ending. And she loved to watch him train, even though she herself held no interest in it (try as Baela might, I don't think Daella is a much of a fighter).
As a child, Daella would often sit by her bonded dragon in the pits, the two truly kindred spirits as Daella would curl up with her beast and speak to her of her day's events. Somedays she'd brings snacks to share, books to read together, she'd practice her commands with Lilarion as well as her Valyrian in general. And since under her grandmama's reign, dragons were no longer chained in the pits, it allowed Daella's dragon the opportunity to spend vast amounts of time away from the pits. Free to hunt and spread her wings, to grow larger in an untamed more wild space.
By age 6, Daella would embark on the same splitting of her time between King's Landing and fostering at Dragonstone as her elder brother did.
At first, Daella felt rather uncomfortable on Dragonstone. She wasn't fond of changing her surroundings, and while she knew her cousins as well as her aunt Rhaena and uncle Aemond well enough, she'd never been left completely alone without the opportunity to go to running to her parents should she wish to. For the first couple of weeks, she stayed close to her dragon (which, unlike Daella, I think Lilarion was really happy to go 'home' and spend time with her parents Silverwing and Vermithor 😂😂).
Somedays Daella felt like the odd one out, watching as her brother seamless fit into the games and conversations their cousins would have. Splitting into groups, understanding one another's sense of humours, and overall just making great friends with everyone. To be fair, Daella was never excluded, she just didn't always feel as if she 'belonged'. Her baby steps to working into the group, started with her usual way of picking friends, she started with her like-minded more quiet cousins. By then Aelyx was the same age as her and Valaena was only one year her junior. Together the three of them would often sit in the gardens together, giggling over stories and various ideas they'd had. Eventually, Daella would find her way to warming up to her more boisterous chaotic cousins Daemion and Naerys, finding the two of them often managed to make the most mundane things messy yet amusing.
But the most shocking thing to occur during her time on Dragonstone was the close friendship she struck up with her cousin Vaella. The two girls were most definitely the polar opposite of one another, but maybe something within that is what attracted them to one another. It had happened quite unceremoniously, their bond solidified somewhat easily. Daella would never join her elder cousin and brother in their competitions or their various pranks, but Vaella's outspoken viciousness could be quelled in the presence of her sweet kind younger cousin. Should anyone try to attack Daella's person, appearance, or even ruin something she cared for (I imagine Daemion has ruined a painting or destroyed a toy or two of Daella's...more on that later), than Vaella was quick to defend.
The two girls found commonality with one other in a very close sister-like bond, Daella would watch Vaella train and cheer her cousin on, and Vaella, even to her own father's surprise, would happily sit and listen to Daella read her favourite romance stories even though those were Vaella's least favourite to read herself (they're 100% a parallel to their mother's, Baela and Rhaena being the opposites that they are, that still get along really well. I mean Vaella has that with Valaena in a way too. But with Daella, they're ages are a bit closer. So they're bond is a bit more on par I think).
Daella would eventually find that she quite loved the moons she fostered on Dragonstone. She'd always been fond of her aunt Rhaena from the beginning, maybe due to the fact that she always felt like a sweet warm mama (not that Baela isn't that for her, but I feel like Rhaena just exudes that energy. Like even with her nieces and nephews, she's just got "sweet mama" energy). In the early days, when she felt utterly uncomfortable, Rhaena's kind presence did a lot to comfort her, and maybe it certainly helped that her kind aunt was the near spitting image of her own mama, it seemed to add to the safe feeling she provided. Daella loved reading with her aunt, strolling the grounds with her, analyzing stories and myths, and the stories of lullabies especially.
On the other hand, Daella had been slightly less keen to spend the same amount of time with her uncle Aemond. He'd only ever been kind and welcoming to her, but ever since she was a toddler, she'd always been slightly frightened of him. She thought his usual expressions to be cold and surly, his eye-patch unsettling and his usual hard stalking steps to be the stuff of nightmares. It was in juxtaposition to watch said 'scary uncle' be incredibly soft and loving towards his wife, his children and her cousins. He'd join their games, jest with them, train with them, carry them around jovially and read them to sleep. All things her own papa did with her. It was even more odd to see her own brother be so comfortable and familial with the man, considering Daella usually politely curtsied and bowed, before scurrying away whenever she was made to encounter her uncle. It wasn't until several moons had passed, her second issued stay on Dragonstone, when her uncle found her struggling to read a Valyrian account of Daenys The Dreamer prophetic dreams.
She'd been struggling on several words, pronunciation as well as definitions, before Aemond, having been leaning against the arching door frame of the Dragon Nest's private family library observing her...interrupted her. He didn't do much to announce his presence, he simply corrected a word she'd mispronounced, and in that moment, Daella's heart pounded, she'd wanted to escape. Knowing her uncle to be particular man, she worried he may be like one of her many impatient tutors back home in King's Landing.
Instead though, he'd managed to coax her into staying seated, as he offered to read the book to her. He'd read the book with as much patience as her own papa, eyeing her and asking her if she understood the meaning of the words he'd read. Still somewhat uncomfortable, she mumbled softly if he didn't mind her asking questions, a sentence he obviously quirked a brow at, and there she admitted her own tutors did not always like taking time with her learning. His reply had held as much burning vitriol as if he'd heard such insolence being directed towards one of his own daughters, "you, little one, are a Princess of House Targaryen, no less than any other in our family. Those tutors of yours are meant to serve you, cater to you, not the other way around." (I'm pretty certain Aemond either discreetly or not so discreetly had those tutors killed the next time he visited King's Landing 🤣🤣 he's very a good uncle!)
It was slow goings, but eventually Daella found herself reading with her uncle to be a daily occurrence. She went from sitting beside him, keeping to herself barely leaning near him. To leaning over him just to see the page, to eventually feeling quite comfortable enough to crawl upon his lap and read the books with him. Eventually Daella would find, that a lot of the things she loved about her cousin Vaella, were very prevalent in her uncle Aemond. And very quickly she realized he wasn't scary at all (once she saw his sapphire eye or possibly another gem. Haven't decided if he'll keep the sapphire as his only option. But either way, once she saw it, heard the story behind it, I think it eased her nerves too)...at least none of his vicious dragon's fire was ever aimed at her, and that was good enough.
He quickly became one of her favourite uncles, her champion, her hero (I think little Daella might've had one of those innocent little kid crushes on her uncle Aemond too 😂😂). She'd hold his hand and skip the halls of Dragonstone with him, ramble to him happily about little things and he'd never tell her to stop, always actually listening to her and indulging her, as well as the fact that she'd managed to grasp Valyrian much easier under his tutelage. (I think it's very much a mutual feeling, Aemond is one of Daella's favourite uncles...might be tied with Luke and Viserys II 😂😂 for various reasons, but it's vice versa. Aemond of course still absolutely adores Jaehaera, but I think Daella is right up there as his other favourite niece. He sees a lot of Rhaena in her, I think.)
As Daella grew into a young woman, she began to truly care for court appearances. She really leaned under the tutelage of her aunt Rhaena, as court etiquette was never something her own mama had ever truly enjoyed. As Vaella grew to truly hone in on her skills with the blade and her formidability upon her mount, the Cannibal. Daella instead lived for the art of courting, of balls, of glittering gowns. She loved when there were feasts and festivals to celebrate on Dragonstone most of all, for it gave her many chances to dress up and dance with fanciful young men from several houses and even the Free Cities (I'm imagining the Free Cities mingle a bit more with Dragonstone than the capital/King's Landing, just cause Dragonstone is VERY Valyrian and the culture permeates throughout everything, and people from Valyrian Free Cities might be more likely to mingle there? If that makes sense).
It was around the age of 16 (and followed through to her 18th nameday), Daella's body began to shift. Puberty had taken hold and she'd begun to fill out more than her cousins had. Daella had a pension for sweets, pastries and cakes, as well as savory foods that had all added to her physic. (In other words, Daella is a THICC girl! I've just always imagined her as such, like ever since I created her original art/face!)
Her waist remained nearly fashionably small but her hips had grown wider, curvier, her bottom was rounded and her chest and breast had grown full and defined. (Queue Daemion's crush on his cousin starting soon...)
She'd grown to become just as lovely as her beloved Vaella, she was even the same flattering height as her cousin. Only she was also plumper, less lean and slim than her favoured elder cousin. Which in some ways remained a double edged sword as the two walked the halls in either castle, Dragonstone or the Red Keep. Daella most days already felt like the "other" Targaryen Princess with her brown hair, but now she was also sometimes deemed the "round" one by comparison.
Somedays it dwelled on her feelings more than not, but should she ever feel slighted during a ball or feast, she always had several men who jumped to the opportunity. Her uncles, her cousins, her brother, her papa, and even her grandpapa would be damned to see their precious Daella feeling down and or excluded (I don't think any man/Lord openly slights her, ;like they value their lives, the last guy who did that is certainly dead. Even the ones who thought they could whisper about her behind her back. Take your pick on which family member or members committed the deeds 😂😂 but there's definitely still some who subtly ignore her...or try to).
Even still, Daella had to put up with the two-faced efforts of many eligible Lords who wished to marry a Targaryen Princess, brown-hair or not. She carried true dragon's blood within her, the blood of Old Valyria, and many less than worthy houses attempted to lure and court her into believing they wanted her. Her only respite came from House Stark, her elder brother's closest friend outside of the family, Rickon Stark (the younger), who was just shy a year elder than Aethan...was always kind to Daella. He greeted her sweetly, always, and he almost always brought her gifts from the North (Northern flowers or gems, pretty things he always says "made me think of you". And Daella absolutely cherishes these gifts). Every feast and or ball, she'd always make sure to save a dance just for him...as a friend of course (👀👀)
Now, while it was said that Aethan visually took greatly after his mother (a fact that I think fades once he grows into a grown man, by then I think he really looks more like Jace), once Daella had grown into a woman truly, her looks were said to truly resemble the Princess Baela in her youth. Facially that is, while her body had fully found its own definition, she would remained larger and curvier than her mother had ever been at her age. But it wasn't only in her looks, beneath the surface Daella had bouts of her mama within her, little sparks of untamed dragon's fire that surfaced in rare moments. But it was in those moments where she truly looked to be her mother's daughter.
By age 18, Daella's first season had come and gone. That wasn't entirely true, in fact, two years prior when her bosom cousin Vaella had married her elder brother. An outcome Daella and her grandmama, Rhaenyra, had seemed to be the only true ones paying attention to and expected it all along. Daella had seen her brother and cousin's bickering matches, and new they both held far too much tension with one another that existed for no one else. It was inevitable to her. On the other hand, since Vaella had decided to wed a man third in line for the throne, she forfeited her right to be the next Lording Princess of Dragonstone. A right that then passed down to the next sibling in line, Daemion Targaryen. Who, as he was the same age as Daella, was not technically in rush to be married (men being afforded the right to marry later in life blah blah. But I think neither Aemond or Rhaena would set their children to be matched...not unless they felt they needed to...MOST of their children will be allowed to make love matches. Key word MOST) and yet he seemed to be scouting for brides anyhow.
It was well known to the realm that Prince Daemion Targaryen was indeed a rake, a far more tasteful one than his elder uncle, Aegon II, to be sure, but a constant flirt and a rake nonetheless. He'd bedded countless woman and even a couple of men, the list of broken hearts he left behind him in his wake was especially well known to his siblings and cousins even if his parents did not know the whole of it (I like to think Rhaemond are in the KNOW of things with their son, but maybe not every little intricate detail). So when Daella's 18th nameday came and went and her season began shortly after, she was both surprised...but also not...when her cousin began to hang around her more than usual. By then, she was extremely familiar and close with Daemion, they were friends in kind, and she was not entirely blind to the very obvious fact of how attractive he was. Targaryen beauty was not a thing to be argued, it was obvious and it was clear, and Daemion Targaryen had it droves.
And while he was an incredibly accomplished flirt, Daella still found a relationship with him...was not one she could trust. They were friends, great ones at that, but she did not love him in any real sort of a romantic way. Try as he might, one of her most persistent suitors, and yes she had several flocking to her (not a horde of desperate ones like there was for Vaella or as they would be for Valaena in the coming year. But she's a Targ Princess, she's still getting a lot of offers no matter what) it was still not a certainty.
The following year (because I don't think Baela or Jace, or her grandparents, would force Daella into match she didn't want. Plus it's not a time of war or uncertainty, so she doesn't need to quickly marry for alliance sake either), Daemion would be more certain of himself and what he had to offer. He made claims of being in love with her (let's be honest, he didn't stop trying when season ended. He kept this up throughout the off season 😂😂), claims that if she were to marry him she would be able to keep her Princess status, and their babes would be true dragonriders. All things which were true, but there was another growing truth layered underneath it all.
Nothing he wooed her with was truly specific to her, all of his gifts and compliments, his tactics and his efforts...they resembled the efforts of every other Lord vying for her hand (minus the dragonriding babies...since no one other than another Targaryen or Valyrian could really offer that.)
He did not love her... he just wanted for a wife he'd be comfortable with having. A wife he already knew, would be capable of Lording over Dragonstone with him and one he was already happily attracted to. Which may have been enough for most woman, but Daella had been raised to expect slightly more. What she felt for Daemion was simply familial if not teetering the edge. But with Vaella now living in King's Landing with her, several moons pregnant with her first child, she gleamed a lot of sage sisterly advice from her good-sister. That as Daella believed herself, Vaella was sure her little brother simply wanted for what he could not have.
But to Daella's surprise, Daemion aside, after listening and enduring the court of tired Lord after tired Lord...a new suitor entered the Keep. Lord Rickon Stark, the next Warden of the North. He'd missed Daella's first season the previous year as he'd been helping to put down a Bolton rebellion in North with his father Cregan. He'd mention it was to his regret that he'd missed her previous year, as he'd wanted to see her. He'd caught her strolling the gardens alone then, and there on that sunny afternoon might have been the first time Daella realized just how handsome she found the rugged Northern man. As if in the few years she hadn't seen him, he'd grown so much taller, so broad and muscular, just nearly as massive as his father the current Warden of North seemed to be.
Daella had known the man for years, seen him at a dozen functions and or celebrations as House Stark had always been loyal and respectfully welcome to join the royal family. She'd danced with him only a couple of times, but now without anyone to buffer the space between them. It seemed like she could finally see him. To think he'd been her brother, Aethan's, closest friend for years now (it was a fact Rickon himself would not dwell on)...and it was only now that she could see him in a new light.
Rickon, unlike her other suitors, simply engaged her in witty conversation, the ease of it all really, it was the first conversation in moons with a suitor who did not feel as if he was doing his best to sell himself, his house and his land to her. Instead when she teased him about his heavy furs in King's Landing spring heated weather, he laughed and sarcastically mentioned that while he could have ridden through the Northern lands shirtless to prepare for the heat...it would not have been ideal.
It was a gradual, natural process. Her strolls with him turned into a most pleasant occurrence that she looked forward to daily. It was an overwhelming compiling list of little things. The way his stormy blueish green eyes pierced right through her whenever he truly gazed at her, the way he'd quietly listen to her ramble on about a recent book or thing that fascinated her. In those moments she'd miss just how vividly he seemed to see her.
Somedays she'd feel so comfortable with him she nearly forgot he was a man in contention for asking for her hand. But it was in the quiet moments, the ones that would catch her off guard, where he'd tell her that her eyes glowed like no gem on earth...that even the brown hair she herself thought to be dull in comparison to her more Valyrian looking family members. To him, he said it glistened like spun gold. His compliments always felt far too real, as if he was seeing right through her and instead right into her heart and soul. It was the nearly blunt way in which he always delivered such words, something she supposed was just the Northern way. But even so there was warmth to it all.
For his compliments were the only ones that ignited that true burning dragon's fire that her mama, aunt Rhaena and good-sister Vaella always spoke of.
In the end it was no competition, though Daemion would always see it as such. If Daella went with her heart, than she'd have to admit that it was a Northern wolf who had claimed it instead of a dragon (once Rickon proposes to her, he gives her the ring his father used to propose to his mother. And I imagine it's this silver band ring that has this rose embedded in it, beautifully carved out of sapphire or pale blue larimar type of gem. Resembling a winter rose from Winterfell.)
Telling the rest of her family had been a far less painful affair than she thought it would be, as even her incredibly Valyrian purist grandpapa, Daemon, could admit that the next best choice to marrying Valyrian was to marry one who carried the blood of the First Men. As the House Stark was known to, it seemed a greatly respected choice to make. Daella's mama could attest to finding the match equally as appealing as her own father, as Daella's own papa and grandmama were simply happy she'd found a match with someone who was kind, respectful and one she loved. (Plus I think everyone in the family just really likes Rickon as a person, so they're absolutely behind this.)
Truthfully Daella worried for the opinion of her uncle Aemond most of all, for even while Vaella had assured Daella that she'd feel no slight if her dearest cousin did not choose her brother (LMFAO I need you all to know Vaella was team Rickon this entire time 😂😂 she really said my brother is a fuckboy, you can do better sis!). While her aunt Rhaena assured her that so long as Daella was happy with her choice then she would support it vehemently. Uncle Aemond however surprised her, in a way, she knew he loved her greatly, but part of her worried she had disappointed him by somewhat slighting his son.
However he reasoned that this was her marriage, and he only wanted her to make the choice that would make her happiest (he's less bitter that she didn't choose his son, but more bitter that his little niece chose to marry Cregan's son of all people 🤣🤣🤣).
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Now I don't think I mentioned Aethan's reaction to his best friend falling for his younger sister, but I'm thinking queue in the usual shenanigans of an elder brother feeling weirded out by a situation like this. Like he's trying to bud in a ruin things, meanwhile his very pregnant wife (like she's like 8months along), Vaella, is literally reeling him back. Dragging him away kicking and screaming LMAO
Sidenote: when I do make Part 3 of this series, don't mind me if some of these details change when I do get to writing it. These are just my main initial thoughts for these characters now. But once I go into more depth with them, things might alter just a tad!
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Jacaela kids in order:
Aethan Velaryon (133 AC), Daella Velaryon (137 AC), baby #3 & #4 (142 AC)
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Rhaemond kids in order:
Vaella Targaryen (135 AC), Daemion Targaryen & Aelyx Targaryen (137 AC), Valaena Targaryen (138 AC), Naerys Targaryen (139 AC), baby #6 & #7 (142 AC), baby #8 & #9 (153 AC)
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hi willow i was just perusing ur fic rec you just posted when i saw you mention if he’s a serial killer and of course I decided to re read it for the millionth time and now I wanted to say how much I absolutely adore it so much. The characterization of touya and his development of romantic feelings is just so, so wonderfully well done. I think about those two all the time— it’s just: what are they up to these days? has touya throttled kinjo yet? have they progressed to sleeping in the bed together rather than one on the couch? because they are just so special to me and I want to swaddle your touya in a heated blanket and make him a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream.
oh, oh !! 🥺✨️ thank you so much for sending this in !! i'm so glad you enjoy his characterization !! 🤗💐💕
what are these two up to these days !! let's see !!
warning for just dabi in general, as usual LOL also this got so fucking angsty and a bit sad ?? my b !!
dabi is — sitting in the dark of your room.
on the bed, looking at the window he's just come through, how the night has followed him in. the clothes he's wearing smell like people, weird as that is to say; not at all like the passion-blah-blah-blah detergent he's become spoiled on.
and you're — not home. before he clambered in, he knew that already, but even a shell of you is better than nothing. preferable, almost, or at least that's what he tells himself.
couple weeks ago, you mentioned seeing a movie together, asked if you should take the night off before your work schedule came out, but dabi thinks that's all a little juvenile, doesn't he? whaddya wanna do? tongue each other in the back row? as if he gives a damn what's popular these days, what everyone's watching or why. not like he's got a ton of time to consume the general media.
but he's still here now. in the absence of you and your passion-blah-blah-blah, picking the lint off your comforter. there's no telling how to work the fucking washing machine; it sings and has a lot of buttons and he's never really watched you put the soap in it, and all he needs is for you to come home and know he's been here 'cause he flooded the place.
still hasn't decided if he's gonna stay the night.
(well, he has, because he always does, but he's at least trying to entertain the prospect of skipping out. for the sake of his ego.)
a huff of laughter slips through his mouth and all his gaps, watching his mirrored image in your vanity. "fucking pussy-whipped, dude."
"oh, touya, don't say that," he raises his voice several octaves, eyes falling closed as he lays back on your bed. sinks into it, really, as if it's trying to swallow him whole. as if he wants it to. "watch your mouth, hm, hm, hm."
and then he laughs for real, because he's fucking stupid.
what do you look like right now, he wonders. how'd you do your makeup today, and if you wore your favorite scrubs or settled for the ones that are a little too big. who've you spoken to. who had the gall to make you laugh. after knowing your nearly every goddamn move for half his life, being in the dark — fucking literally — has him distracted. side-tracked, for the past two days since he's seen you.
you're asking a lot of questions lately. ones he can't answer. things are — moving into place, changing, and they're all preparing for the grand finale.
touya is supposed to be preparing for the end, and instead he has his face pressed into your pillow, trying to scent himself in you so that he'll go unnoticed, just for a little while. really shouldn't even be here because he's got real important lieutenant shit to do, but —
no. because he's fucking pussy-whipped. and he ain't even gotten any yet.
touya wonders if you'll take the night off, when he kills endeavor. if you'll take the week off, when he's killed in turn.
touya wonders who is gonna walk you home that late at night.
fight-or-flight kicks in when the keys sound in the lock, but dabi's preparing for the end, anyway, so he just lays there. watches the amber glow of your living room lamp as it's twisted on, listens to the soft sound of your footfalls and maybe a plastic bag or two. you mutter something to yourself and his lips twitch, and when you stroll into your room, your eyes are on your phone.
when the light flips on, he groans and buries his face, muffled. blinded. "ah, fuck!"
the wavering breath you gasp in has him snorting, and then the knock against the wall has him peeking at you, squinting. you've got a hand over your chest and your phone is face down on the carpet and you look like you've seen a ghost.
right now that metaphor sucks, with everything on his mind.
"touya," you exhale, and his toes curl in his holey socks like a little fucking schoolgirl. "god, you scared me half to death!"
right now that metaphor sucks.
"turn the damn light off," he groans again, "some of us are trying to get some shut eye."
your expression melts down into one he's used to; yeah, it's been two days since he's been around, but he's answered when you called — "just to check" — so you shouldn't be all pissy. a little upset, because that ain't hard to do, but this is the best he can give you, with the time he has left.
even after you flick the light off, he can make out the soft curve of your cheek and it releases him from some shitty, unnamed thing; he wouldn't call it fear or panic or anxiety, but maybe something like it, if he wanted to be honest. and he doesn't.
a little flicker of want comes to life in the pit of his stomach, at the sight of you kneeling on the bed to lay beside him. he's not gonna die without fucking the life out of you, but your touch is making him too jittery tonight. has him on edge, and not the sexy kind.
"well hello stranger," you muse, tucking hair behind his ear before fiddling with one of his hoops. tense as he is, he should probably tell you to cut it out, but — fuck it.
"i'm here to rob you. gimme all your valuables and i'll let you live."
and because you're a fucking — little weirdo, you just tilt your head and crinkle your nose, already grinning. "what if you are my valuable?"
"shut the fuck up," he gripes, back curling like a cat as he faces away from you. the lilt of your laughter drags across his spine like a fine point, making him shiver and itch. "though we were s'pposed to see a movie, or something? not kiss each other's ass."
despite the curtain he's closed in your face, you still scoot closer to him, press your face against his back. "well, i'm sure it's too late now, all the last showings have probably started." you take his silence for disappointment, and are quick to appease. "we can watch something here though, if you'd like."
"i was expecting popcorn."
you snort, "that'll probably hurt your stomach, but i can make some." silence unnerves you again and you poke at his hips. "do you mind facing me?"
dabi does mind — but moments like this are what he'll want to remember. you're so close that his nose bumps yours, but you just smile at him, a little shy, like he hasn't known you your whole goddamn life.
"missed you." gently, your eyes close, like you're so fucking content that you could fall asleep just like this. "i know you can't tell me, but...i hope everything's okay."
and — touya has to fist a hand in your hair and knock his forehead with yours — softly; he's not trying to have any repeat incidents.
"i said i'm here to rob you, now tell me where the money is," he grits, "and maybe i'll even keep you for myself. like a little housepet."
"my wallet's out in the kitchen," you hum, wrapping your hand over his own until his grip loosens. "you can have it, just don't hurt the guy here in my bedroom."
"fuck him," dabi rasps, and you gasp, all dramatics. "i'll torch the idiot."
"then i'll fight you." again with your grinning; you hitch a leg over his waist, like you'll straddle him any moment and — whew. okay, your touch isn't making him that jittery. "you'll have to go through me first."
it's fucking bullshit, how true that is; preparing for the end means letting go, unfurling the hand he's had on you for so long. the very idea has him rolling the two of you over, pressing you firmly into your passion-blah-blah-blah sheets so that you're stuck, with no means to escape. some feral voice inside touya's head reminds him that you're his, because he's fucking earned you. all the waiting and watching he did, how hard he's worked to get you like this; beneath him and laughing and unbothered by the macabre of his hands and lips.
preparing for the end: yeah, he's working on it, but it ain't something he's got time for tonight.
too bad, so sad, but — he's got a movie date.
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𝑬𝑷𝑰𝑿'𝑺 '𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴' 𝑻𝑽 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑺 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺
taken from season one , adjust as needed !
you are the love of my life. and we could be anywhere. i mean, we could be here, we could be there, we could anywhere in the world, but it would not matter because you are my home. and i would really like to be yours.
okay, wait. is there a "but" coming?
my point is worms are fucking creepy. i'm sure it feels right at home here.
where do you think we are?
look, i'm gonna put my game face back on tomorrow
you have to be prepared for the fallout if it doesn't work
i think you'll find there's more you're going to miss about this place than you thought.
i've seen this town make good people do bad things.
if we pushed too hard, then something would push back.
the things that matter to you should always have names
if you didn't do what they said, then what?
i think the idea that it might work is scarier than the idea that it won't.
i keep thinking how do we go back now?
we shouldn't have come here.
you think i'm a monster.
i don't give two shits what you are.
you're going to need to start figuring out how to say things like that for yourself and sound halfway convincing.
it's okay. it's not real. it's a nightmare
it's okay. you can't die in dreams. everything's gonna be okay.
it doesn't end like this. my path. please.
do you think we’re being punished?
they catch all the bad dreams. and let only the sweet ones reach you.
you know, you should really work on your party face
nights like this are just a little tough
if there's even the slightest chance this could work, don't you want to know for sure?
it's unlikely she survived the night.
there are plenty of things in the world that don't make sense.
something here is missing. we just can't see it yet.
given the circumstances you are doing fine.
look, it's important for you to understand that what happens tonight, it's not personal.
you made the decisions other people couldn't.
i wasn’t hallucinating, okay? i’ve done a fuck ton of drugs, i know what hallucinations feel like.
aren't you supposed to be talking to me about the virtues of mercy?
this is what happens when you break the rules.
well, the people who survive here are the ones who adapt.
it’s like they’re taking their time because they know there’s only so many places we can go
they said it was the only way to save us.
do you believe in monsters?
they are not people, and they are not here to help,
will you just get in? we don't have a lot of time.
denial is a major branch of our family tree.
i promise and i would never break a promise.
you’re like a poem, you know that? you make everything around you beautiful.
i don’t trust these people. there’s something really weird.
if you climb high enough, even a nightmare can look like a dream.
i don’t know about you, but my nightmares usually don’t serve breakfast.
there is a fine line between savagery and consequence.
the only two things i love in this world are gone.
that’s the difference between you and me, i don’t do impossible.
there are no mistakes, just choices, and your choice was right for you.
there are always going to be monsters in the world, it doesn’t matter where you are.
i don’t just sit around, accepting the world as it is
cut the self pitying bullshit and be a leader
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Ok with the disclaimer that I actually know nothing and this most probably is dumb,but anyway
The way someone said that Lanfear might appear as Siuan in Moiraine's dream got me feeling slightly nauseous. But also made me think.
Why do people continue saying that Moiraine is stilled when there are a shit ton of things in the freaking show that suggest, imply, and blatantly show that this is not the case?!
Anyway, Lanfear appearing in Moiraine's dream starts to sound very probable. I don't know if she would take Siuan's form, just to torture her, but I wouldn't go past that. Lanfear by this point has several reasons to be slightly annoyed by Moiraine. Or more likely royally pissed off by her. It doesn't take a lot to make her go ballistic, and Moirane already managed to ruin her... moment with Rand.
She also stabbed her and slit her throat, and while this is a mild discomfort to her, she took Rand and made Lanfear chase them unsuccessfully. By a dumb horse. Like a fool. On top of that just in general refuses to fucking fall asleep.
But erm... there is more. I feel like Lanfear mightttt start to get jealous of Moiraine.
She points out to Ishamael "I am surprised you didn’t kill her." and then calls her "your little Aes Sedai", which is a slightly chilling line. I can see her greenish tint from here... She asks him why he kept her alive and his answer is Desperation opens the mind to more interesting choices. Just a bit terrifying - nothing major. Also establishing that Moiraine could potentially be Ishamael’s new pet freaks me out. He might offer her to get her power back if she... obeys... There is a sort of admiration in Ishamael toward Moiraine – this is a woman who doesn’t hesitate to stand against The Dark One or a Forsaken, even though she knows she is weaker, which means she is willing to die for what she believes. And I think he will enjoy the challenge. She goes to meet the Dark One at the Eye and he laughs at Rand because he brought one woman with him in comparison to the time when The dragon came with 99 men. This is why he still doesn’t still her. Ishamael might want to play with her, and the unpleasant thought is… Lanfear sees it. Also, Rand listens to Moiraine. And I feel this is enough reason for Lanfear to try and mess with her.
But Moiraine doesn’t sleep. For now. Now that Siuan is here, she will be able to take a breath and take a nap with the person she feels safe with. And Lanfear will be there. This makes me feel uneasy because I feel this will be nasty. Really nasty.
But ... Lanfear's jealousy might prove useful. If she somehow has figured out that Ishamael hasn't stilled Moiraine and wants to use her for later, after all, he is The father of lies, she might decide to tell her just to mess with her. "Here is what he did and you can't do anything about it, and you fell for his lies because you are just a stupid mortal."
This is yet another hit Moiraine will take, along with Lan and most probably Siuan being angry with her, and her family being whatever they are. Bartanes creeps me out from the second I saw him, and I don't understand why Moiraine doesn't see it. This dude is sleek, sweet, and nice, and not at all angry at the woman who abandoned his mom, and he acts like an innocent child. In Cairhien. And he is a Damodred, which apparently is not a good thing at all. Also his hair... If the red flag was a person...
Anyyyway, long story short - Moiraine has something coming, which will make her hit the floor, and crush her almost completely before she sees some hope. And I feel like it's not going to be just one. At least Lan and Rand are there, so - hope?
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yknow what i had an epiphany this morning. i think a lot of the "older ppl treating kids like they're stupid assholes" problem comes from the well-intentioned place of, as we get older, we DO learn and grow, and when we are older than a given person we want to reassure that younger person that like, listen, you'll survive this, or you'll figure this out, or so on.
and because it's coming from good intentions a lot of adults just don't realize it's not actually that useful to kids or teens or early twenties ppl who need to be heard and listened to and helped NOW. especially because when we were younger, everything felt like dismissal, if not derision, but now we're older and we think we're being reassuring and helping younger people learn perspective.
but i can tell you it still looks like derision on the outside, and i bet you anything a ton of the adults who treated us like shit thought they were helping too. "it gets better," "it takes practice," "you'll figure it out," is all like, TRUE, but when you're 5 or 12 or 18 or 21 it doesn't address anything going on RIGHT NOW. around like, 26, "it gets better" started TO be helpful to me because i'd lived through enough shit that this is a real, tangible, proven fact, and not just something i have to trust even though it FEELS abstract and frankly doesn't actually do anything to help me with a problem Right Now.
like. you know how so many people genuinely don't expect to live past 16, then 18, 22, etc? i think this is a big factor into why it usually kinda stops after 22-25, because, well, you HAVE lived every time, and you HAVE found the truth in it gets better, you'll figure it out, etc. but before that it feels insurmountable. and frankly, for a lot of people, it IS insurmountable. youth suicide rates are absolutely insane.
i think i can see this bigger picture mostly because i've just thought about it a lot, because the shift from "everyone i know agrees we'll never treat kids the way adults treated us" to "why are all these decent, compassionate people treating kids like shit?" was so jarring and apparent to me, but if i dig deeper i've fallen for a lot of little traps too. it used to annoy the shit out of me when younger people disregarded anything i said, until i stopped and realized all i WAS saying was, "it gets better," and not only does that not help or solve anything Right Now, but it (not inaccurately) implies that this isn't a Real Problem, it'll solve itself, you'll be fine. and that feels so belittling and demeaning and dismissive when you're younger and you just haven't lived through as much shit yet. i remember being told shit like this! it feels like no one cares. it feels like i'm not Allowed to be hurt or upset or angry until i'm old enough that any problems i still have become real to other adults. it SUCKS.
and ironically i figured out why this kind of reassurance—which has its place and is absolutely useful and good in the right contexts!!—sucks when you need help or relief NOW through a friend who was going through something i went through when i was 13. like. to me, this was already proven as Things People Can Survive, but to my friend, this was the first time it was happening. this had never BEEN survived by them before. they were almost 30 when we had this conversation!
and it made me realize how patronizing and useless "it gets better" sounds when you've never even SEEN better yet, and even if you had, what good is "better later" when you're hurting now? i think kids get SO MUCH "it gets better" and not nearly enough "help now" that of course it feels like dismissal and excuses and resentment. and if we as the adults who have survived things aren't careful, it CAN literally at its core BE those things. it sure was for me!
edited to add: like i think the biggest thing i see happening is kids being treated like stupid dramatic jerks for Feeling Things. and i think a lot of these kids would be a lot more receptive if they were ever told, "hey, the feelings matter. even if in 5 years this doesn't hurt anymore, it hurts now, and that deserves to be acknowledged and helped now." like that'd often what i wanted at least. i almost didn't care if it stopped being hard later, it's hard NOW, it hurts NOW. you survived it, great, how do i survive it? what did you DO to survive it? what would you do differently to survive it now that you're older?
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Then there’s the end of the chapter. First of all, the build up is so good. I’ll scream about Niki and Wilbur after this, but the fact that both of them wake up to this makes us feel just as disoriented as they probably are waking up like that. There are a lot of hints that somethings wrong. Aimsey’s face is blotchy, which is giving my second language English a run for it’s money, but I assume that means they are close to crying or have already cried. Either way, it’s a sign of distress.
The lack of relief. [“The main chamber. But-”] -Aimsey. I’m trying not to talk about the rest of the chapter yet, but it’s been established that Niki and Jack have a similar closeness to Wilbur and Tommy. Both of them have a shit ton of anxiety that can only be calmed once there other half is back and safe. So when it’s hinted that they might not be safe or fine, both of them start sprinting.
This also means that Wilbur only has eye for Tommy while Niki only has eye for Jack. And this is where the pov and narration gets really fun. It makes sense that Wilbur doesn’t process the rest of his surroundings beyond where Tommy is and what Tommy reacts to. He’s created this little bubble around them and nothing else matters. So on the first read we know something is wrong, but we don’t notice the signs.
On the second read I’ve noticed a lot. There’s no one around Tommy. Everyone is keeping their distance from him, maybe the rest of them already know. Maybe they have to restrain Jack from trying to attack Tommy. Maybe they are trying to form a wall to protect him from Tommy. We don’t know. There’s a flurry of activity, so Jack’s probably still hurt and they are trying to take care of his injuries. Niki sounds panicked. Tommy is barely reacting like he’s being haunted by something that happened. He’s looking in Jack’s directions like he can’t quite find the words to explain the horror’s they’ve seen. And the blood just adds to this.
All of it builds so much tension. We get fragments, but it’s not enough to paint a full pictures so as you read on you are just waiting for the narrative to tell you. And then you get punched in the gut because there’s no way to predict that twist. I’m sure there’s some form of (possibly flawed) logic behind it. There’s a reason, a context that will put things ain't perspective, but we don’t get that yet. So we get the same chock as Wilbur.
(1/2)
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YEAHHH I wanted the ending bit to just feel super rushed and disorienting because that's how niki and wilbur feel. the two of them didn't mean to fall asleep but they're both stressed and worried over their respective best friends! they're tired and groggy and then they wake up and find out that their worst fears have come true.
(also you basically got it right. y'know when you've been crying and your cheeks are bright red in that very uneven way?? that's what i'm describing with the word blotchy)
YES it was so fun playing with the pov in that scene. wilbur zeroes in on tommy, so we don't get any information about what's going on with jack for most of it. because wilbur's not seeing it. wilbur doesn't care, because his only focus is tommy.
I'm glad you picked up on the subtle bits though. no one is around tommy, everyone is around jack. jack is the one who is very badly visibly injured. as soon as they got into the temple jack probably shoved tommy away from him which led to him collapsing and everyone rushing for him. there's just so much confusion and panic and tommy is being terrifyingly quiet.
i'm so glad the tension was properly built up. i had a lot of fun piecing that scene together
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trying to develop Rune's personality bc my first playthrough of an RPG always feels a little bland as I learn the game mechanics and make too many decisions that are just what seems fun/interesting and not ~roleplay~ so here are some notes to make her more Character so that she can make Bad Decisions. Just rambling. Screenshot of Rune looking derpy at the end <3
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Race: Mephistopheles Tiefling
Class: Warlock
Background: Charlatan
Using that to inform things I think she needs a backstory of being kind of a long-standing capital A adventurer. She's not a Baldurian but she's been through Baldur's Gate a few times so sometimes she takes those dialogues, mostly when it's like "oh yeah I know that bar" and less when it's contemporary important figures because the last time she passed through was like a decade ago.
No qualms with lying or mind-reading, she's got warlock powers for a reason.
I think she likes to pretend to know things, esp about magic. Maybe secretly wishes she was a sorcerer. Using that one time she tried to magic a lock and then wound up punching it instead to inform the character trait 'full of shit about magic'. She tries, but when all else fails she's just naturally very strong and intimidating looking. She has a secret "real name" but goes by Rune because it makes her sound like a Magic Expert. She's like if a circus strongman left the circus and went around pretending to be a professor and selling trinkets.
Entered into a warlock pact to impress a former lover? And fellow performer? I think maybe she wanted to add some fun fiery devil magic to her act and made a pact and then idk ran away from the circus when shit got real. Yeah let's just say that Rune was a circus performer in her (younger) youth.
Soft spot for kids. She was an entertainer after all, the laughter of children gives her life. Kids love the over-the-top scary devil magic stuff and when she leans into it the response is delighted squealing instead of the more Adult critical side-eye. Super hokey sense of humour too. Had a whole teachable moment with that kid selling rings in the grove.
Tiefling racism mostly just rolls off her like. She doesn't feel a ton of connection to their culture (raised by circus performers, maybe a few tieflings but it was Diverse). But not above leaning in to the rep where it suits her. Just doesn't feel a whole lot of attachment beyond a bit of guilt here and there.
She let the pain guy hit her with the "advanced techniques" at the goblin camp. I do not know if she is precisely Into That but she's got a high pain tollerance and a huge daring streak. Flame swallower sword juggler strongman just wanted to see if she still got it. Also the draw of getting any kind of arcane perk just lights her up.
I haven't picked a romance bc I don't think I've even met all the options yet but I do think she might like to see what tricks Gale has. Asterion clearly thinks she's hot but I can't see her hitting that. I CAN see her teaming up with him for just the biggest baddest cons though. She doesn't mix business and pleasure she learned that lesson ;) so.
I can see her hooking up with Shadowheart but just because she's like, really pretty. Rune is still hung up on her bardic ex-lover from the circus (aka the halfling bard I made in early access and didn't really play) and just sampling the fruit idk.
Fundamentally she's a pretty good person. Squarely in the chaotic good camp. Wishes she were a true chaotic neutral and she'll lie or threaten for profit literally any time but actual death and violence makes her pretty squeamish. It's all showbiz baby!! Little reality denying freak <3
I gave her those gnarly facial scars so lets say she has some deeply burried childhood trauma (so repressed that even idk what happened) that makes her a bit of a danger magnet/risk fetishist, super protective of kids, and rigidly opposed to mass acts of violence.
Ok this is fairly solid (and close enough to my usual archetype to be easy to roleplay lmao) here's my gorl:
every time I catch her in this pose her right eye is just a little squinty lmao. lazy eye resulting from a torch juggling incident idk.
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