#that doesnt stop it from feeling fucking terrible tho

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator #i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much #but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday #forever and ever drawing #but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal #literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i #chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms #bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys #the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so #long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from #everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is #warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable #but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head #hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor #for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b #i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am #but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the #past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria #unrelated

[typekiku]

TSUKIHIME FASHION REVIEW 2!!

HELLO EVERYONE!!

it is i your epic and incredible kiku

patiently waits for applause

well damn ok no applause...

MOVING ON... considering im just screaming into the void who cares for applause anyways RIGHT?

so this is more of me ranting about the designs of the characters from the single greatest media franchise since barney that is tsukihime. lets get right into it with the man the legend the GOAT the weirdo our beloved...

SHIKI TOHNO

this man saw a bad bitch like arcueid and dressed up like this holy shit.

like lets think about this for a second

he saw ARCUEID

ARCUEID BRUNESTUD

and dressed up like that?

is he not ashamed?

if it was me id be dressing up like im the king of england (forgive me for mentioning engl*nd) but no this boy wore that shirt

a thousand curses on shiki tohno

this is his normal getup and it aint too bad tbh. in fact i lowkey fuck with it. i may even find this good looking (random fun fact: this is the first time we ever see shiki and its not even in the original vn its from plus disc)

i get hes a student but why the fuck are you dressed up like that in evening anyways actually wtf.

his taste in fashion is really questionable even more so then the GODDESS arcueid

now THIS is what i want even if i can still see that abomination of a shirt

the apron with mushroom man himself making an appearance is cute but more importantly theres a certain GODDESS arcueid who is my wife (dont correct me on this matter i have proof) in this picture which drives up his rizz by 100 points

and hes serving food like any good servant servant should...

goddamn arcueid is cute... good on her! good on her.

um what were we talking about?

ok onto the remake shiki because im SICK of og designs and seriously missing my wife arcueid

ok this like most remake (re)designs actually looks really good i cant lie. he doesnt have that godawful abysmal shitty trash ugly painful terrible demonic shirt

THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THIS SHIRT. THI-

sorry i cant help it. i live in fear of it. i mourn my innocence i lost upon sight of this THING. how dare you takeuchi for invading my eyesight with this thing. he also designed arcueid tho so i guess it all evens out

look at this world that could've been... a peaceful world.. a complete world....

Arcueid receiving a variety of incredibly beautiful dresses while shiki receives... jacket and jacket and uh jacket i mean they really couldve had everything.

ok he did get another jacket in the series im sorry i stand corrected but i really like the black shirt!! thats an upgrade and a HALF

yay shiki

seriously i miss arcueid

anyways this is where ill stop befor-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

ok enough im sick and tired of the visual abuse

anyways its time for me to go and play tunguska so i can kick koyanskayas incredibly alluring ass. feel free to uh do whatever ig

#tsukihime #type moon #arcueid brunestud #THISSHIRT #shiki tohno

[wrdn-tabris]

a little life update :-)

(pls help i need advice)

so

i have this friend. two friends actually. i went to visit them recently (june)

friend 1, lets call her cat had asked friend two, lets call her bee, to move down with her. bee agreed. issues immediately started. bee was off her meds and didnt want to get back on them, and started picking fights with cat, treating her badly and etc bc thats what bee used to do when she still lived with her mom. pick fights when her mood dropped and get into screaming matches (tho its not like her mom didnt also pick fights with her)

cats telling me abt this at this time and i feel bad bc i feel like i wasnt being a good friend mostly bc i didnt have the energy to hear abt how terrible it was going for her. i was going thru a lot when it started which isnt her fault or my fault, but i feel bad for not being more supportive. so cat stopped telling me abt it, bc i didnt know what to do or how to fix things. i thought stuff resolved itself but i went and visited and it hasnt. really.

so i arrive. bee doesnt come with cat to pick me up, which, ok disappointing but i understood she was tired. she didnt come to eat with us either. which also sad

next day cat asks for some rent money to get herself lunch, bc she forgot to make smth to eat before leaving and cat couldnt and wouldnt give their rent money so she could get lunch. so she asked us to bring her lunch from mcdonalds if she ordered somthing bc she had points on the app, and we had to decide tht if we are driving tht far out to where she works we might as well do something over there. cat asks if we should invite her partner with us and i agreed bc i wanted to meet him. we go to pick up her lunch, she asks me to buy her something rather than ordering smth off the app, which, feels :/ to assume ill just buy it for her. i would have if she asked but she just sent me her order. mybe an asshole move of my to say 'uhhh sure if ur able to order it off the app???'

get the food, fight thru traffic to get to her, have to fight thru parking traffic to get out of where she works. we end up visiting this old military fort and hang out for a few hours and when we come back we think bee is asleep. its like. 7:30? 8:00?

so i try to inflate the blow up bed i got for them to use for when they have other guests sleep over and me and cats bf wake her up while im trying to figure out how to work it so she comes out and snaps at us. i apologize for being loud, promise to be quieter but im inflating the air mattress so i might be loud for a few minutes. the ENTIRE time im inflating it shes standing there arms crossed glaring at us and clearing her throat the entire time. and maybe its just me but??? i find that to be a little fucking rude tbqh. me and the bf are guests and its making me feel unwelcome and regretting the money i spent to come visit her. anyways cat comes out from the bathroom bc bee is still there clearing her throat with her arms crossed even after i finished fixing up the air mattress, and its quiet as hell bc me and bf are both uncomfy. cat gets mad and upset bc were guests in their home and she shouldnt be treating her like tht. shes upset we woke her up but surprise surprise shes even MORE upset i met cats partner before hers bc she wanted it to all be 'together' even tho i agreed to meet bf bc i did! want to meet him! and that we went to the fort without her.

anyways.

i apologize to her abt that bc i wanted to meet him but shes like 'no cat knew i wanted to do this thing' which fair.

the rest of the week goes ok. i get to meet her partner and theyre so nice and funny and i was super excited to meet them. we hit off great. we get lunch with one of cats friends, bee remarks abt 'oh i used to get so upset abt ppl being happier than me, enjoyed making ppl unhappy and would go out of my way to do so, bc i didnt like that they were happy and i wasnt' i buy bee a present for her birthday and u kno week ends i go home, and turns out bees partner comes out to her abt some things and bee freaks out, gets super upset and reacts really poorly. starts crying and going off abt being betrayed and etc.

turns out partner breaks up with her the next day bc they were uncomfortable with the reaction and then she starts crying and going off again abt feeling betrayed and upset and wanting to kill herself and tht they told her they loved her and would never leave and etc etc etc amongst other 'its not faiiiir' reactions. i still hold the opinion she was upset bc they broke up with her first.

cat calls her out for her behavior and that shes saying some very inappropriate things and tht ex isnt an awful person. bee ends up demanding all the gifts she gave ex back and wanted to know what ex would be doing with special gifts they got her before they both broke up.

i honestly end up quite. disgusted? with her behavior bc any time she broke up with someone while she lived separately from cat, shed ghost us and wed only get her side of the story. cat all but ends up moving in with her partner bc bee refuses to clean up after herself and keeps making a mess of things and its just a bad living situation.

cat tells bee tht shes not thinking of renewing their lease at the end of the year bc she cant handle living like this and bee lashes out. ends up making a mess of their kitchen and breaking some of cats things.

she also uses special non stick stuff of cats and uses metal on it (which ur not supposed to do) and keeps using cats own dishes and dishes she got from her grandma and doesnt clean them or anything.

my thing is. i dont know what to do. i kinda wanna stop our friendship bc im upset at how shes treating our other mutual friend. but i dont know if i should talk to her bc ive asked cat if i should try and talk to her to get her to see tht shes not being a good friend and cats told me not to, mostly bc she refuses to see shes wrong. im leaning towards wanting to follow her advice bc she has been living with bee but also it feels so scummy not to say anything esp when i know shes going to be going thru a difficult time in the next few months. however if i talk to her, i dont want to cause her to lash out at bee or have any of her things that are still at their apartment broken bc bees already proven to lash out and break other peoples things when shes upset at them, and i dont want to make it any worse for her.

bee would tend to ghost us when she was stll living with her mother, so much so tht we wouldnt hear from her for weeks or months, esp when she was feeling bad. i would try to reach out to her just to make sure she was fucking alive lmao. im worried if i were to reach out and ask abt all this and end with our friendship splitting off, shed do something drastic like hurt herself. i want to reach out and try to salvage what i feel is a dissolving friendship but i also dont want to be friends with this type of person unless shes worked on herself. i still love and care for her but like i know who i would stick by if i had to which... feels bad to say and sucks but th fact is i am closer with cat, mostly bc when bee would ghost us me and cat would still talk and we have more in common.

i want to talk and ask her why she would do and say these things and treat ppl she loves like this but ive been told not to but it would feel wrong not to at least. reach out. i dont know what to do.

AITA?

#cara speaks #the aita at the end is a joke but genuinely #i dont know what to do here #pls dont feel. obligated to respond to this or give advice i just do not know what to do

[caramelmochacrow]

on the surface, yuka and maika's relationship is pretty normal. older sister that loves her little sister so much, right? yeah. it's more than that (thank you again shinobu)

peaky summer story was the first story that made me realize yuka has so much that we dont know about. she has a sister, she loves her so much, and apparently her sister is super shy. but when we meet her, maika isnt the latter at all. she's outgoing, similar to yuka, which made me go 'what the fuck is up with yuka?'

yuka didn't lie to peaky, of course, but with that piece of info it tells SO much how she sees maika at that moment. she still sees maika as her younger self, even tho she's changed from that. this could just be because yuka hasn't seen maika in forever, true, but what if i told you that the year before the event she visited maika and maika just hasnt sent letters? THAT changes so much. maika could've easily changed in a year, that too is true, but with the way maika acts it seems she's been outgoing and such for a while. yuka still can't unsee the little sister that didn't have confidence in herself in maika and it's so so interesting.

during the entire event, yuka complements her sister and keeps pointing out how cool her sister is to peaky, which they find endearing but also a bit weird. when yuka leaves to get drinks, maika tells kyoko, esora and shinobu that she had terrible confidence when she was younger and yuka is the reason she managed to build her confidence up. she always celebrated every single thing maika did, to the point she forgot training her body. maika knew what yuka was doing, but she (and yuka, deep down) knew it wasn't good. yuka was literally forgetting to take care of herself so maika decided to go to america so she can have a a fresh start and also let yuka not think about trying to make herself look bad. it worked, maika succeeded in finding confidence in herself and yuka managed to not think about her sister's insecurities (much).

with that, now comes the volleyball scene. yuka purposely makes herself look bad, she makes herself be terrible and stops when peaky notices. she's still thinking about maika's insecurities w her abilities. they tell her that maika might know what she's doing already, similar to them and they (kyoko specifically) tells her that she should move on from seeing maika as her younger self. maika has changed, she's grown up. she's done a good job of raising her self confidence (maika's present self shows this change) but now yuka needs to be a good role model. how will maika know what is right if her sister isnt even doing the right thing because she wants maika to feel better? she's putting herself down so maika can look good, which isn't the right thing to do. that mindset will ruin the confidence that maika (and yuka) has worked so hard to build.

so yuka decides that yeah, it is a bad thing to do, destroying everything she worked hard to build and should be proud of how much maika has grown. and you see that right after. she goes full throttle with her power and when she destroys maika and her friend (kris btw) in volleyball. instead of being discouraged, it causes maika to ask for a rematch, telling her sister that she was just warming up.

the event is really cute right? yayyy. (i totally dont see myself in maika--) this is when everything changes.

her relations event with shinobu. it changed my entire perception of yuka's relationship with maika. i talked abt my thoughts in depth in my post abt the event but to summarize:

to shinobu, yuka is a genius because she can do so many things, but just because she's good at everything doesnt mean she's not struggling. in the event, yuka doubts if she should cut off one of the things she loves to be able to properly focus on it. but if she loves all of those things she shouldnt take any of them away and decides she'll be an amazing photographer, the owner of her family's gym and peaky's vj.

i am focusing specifically on how yuka is skilled at so many things. imagine being maika. your sister is good at so many things and yet you aren't. your sister has so many futures ahead of her and you don't have any. your sister who seems to think you have those things as well when you know deep down you dont have that. but when you do things, she tells you that you're doing a good job and when she tries she isnt as good it makes you think that "im just as amazing as my cool sister!" and it's sweet.

but as time goes on, you notice that she's been hiding it all this time, she's actually just as good. she just did badly so you could look good. it hurts at first, but you realize that if you continued this any longer, your older sister will stop trying to be good. you realize that people wont understand why she's amazing and will slowly but surely put herself down so you look better. she's going to be like you, someone with no confidence in their abilities. so you decide to do it yourself and build your confidence on your own for your sake and your sister's sake.

#crow talks #d4dj #d4dj groovy mix #yuka jennifer sasago #maika noelle sasago #shinobu loves making me rethink how i see character relationships lmao #yuka is interesting some people just dont want to think abt her complexities and just make her into a one note character. #i would've talk more but i think this is enough #i NEED to talk abt shinobu one day actually she's so interesting you guys dont get it.....

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

thousand autumns, episode 5~

yws: wow that dude just betrayed u, aren't u sad? shen qiao: no :) i'm gonna pass out now and remember how fucking AWESOME i am, excuse me :) yws: lol ppl keep betraying u. wanna be evil with me?? shen qiao: no :) i'm gonna cough prettily and hobble along home now :) SSSSLUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRP OH THEY'RE CALLED LIUHE GANG, that's why i was so confused. i kept remembering the 'liu he shen gong' technique from woh/shl (the one that ruined ye baiyi's life by making him immortal so he could agonise over his heartbreak for all time) lol im so dumb 😅 tee hee, yan wushi is an old fox, it's canon y'all! 'shen qiao is like a walking treasure' LOL EVERYONE WANTS HIM SO BAD??? I DONT BLAME THEM BUT ITS SO FUNNY??? MY SON SHENGYAN IS BACK, HI SWEETIE!! shen qiao: pls stop sending ppl to follow me :) yws: *evil laughs in refusal* THE OLD MAN HIGH-FIVED HIM INTO THE WALL!! noooo don't hurt himmmm, he's so cuuuute, how could u huuurt himmm?? ;A; oh look, the suffering masses are here! HELLO EVERYONE! yan wushi was using his friendly eyebrows for a second there!! he'd better watch out, or he might fall in love with a nice fellow like shen qiao, wouldn't THAT be a tragedy? lol its my fav cdrama lesson, 'never help anyone ever, they'll just get angry and hurt u or each other and then everyone will feel bad ;A;' (for legal purposes, this is hyperbole. birb does NOT believe that all cdrama holds or encourages this value. birb is just being a prick for the craic, purely for the craic.) OH A BABY ;A; shen-langjun?? like 沈郎君 ?? is that what he says?? :O yan wushi does not sit, he SPRAWLS!! wtf is he doing to that rock tho i love his dumb face, he's just so silly looking. like he's trying too hard to be a villain idk. he's definitely Not Nice but he's trying SO HARD to sell the Serious Business For Really Reals Evil that i can't buy it, i just laugh at him lmao 🤣 'FEEDING THE HUNGRY FOR CLOUT, SEE YU AI FOR MORE DETAILS' yws: lol ur friends dont care about u, just like i don't care about this porridge. BOTTOMS UP >:) how do u say 'sláinte' in chinese FFS shen qiao cannot go FIVE MINUTES without being ATTACKED!! LET A MAN EAT HIS DINNER IN PEACE JFC lol yws switched from a bench sprawl to a window sprawl, it doesnt make much of a difference but he looked cool doing it and that's what counts this animation is FIRE, sometimes the models look a wee bit odd but the motion itself is beautiful and fluid imo!! i really love it!! 🤩 HOLY!! HE JUST!!! HE GRABBED SHEN QIAO BY THE WAIST!!! AND WHISKED HIM AWAY OFF??? IN BROAD DAYLIGHT??? what is with this tender heartfelt music?? its making me feel things i dont want to feel, pls stop ;A; yws: hey if ur friend tries to kill u, u should totally call me for help. i might not answer. but it would make me feel good lol *shen qiao stumbles* yu ai: i was gonna help u, but then i thought….nah. ANYWAY! *fake gasp* omg bro, ur so weak and sickly! however could such a terrible and unexpected thing occur?????? shen qiao: u literally poisoned me :) ...and it was in this moment yu ai knew that he had fucked up 😔

#birb watches #im still doing this i guess lol #sorry if its not as funny as the others #im a bit tired today??? idk #qian qiu #thousand autumns donghua #birb still says #pls someone validate me #idk why i got so little sleep??? #i blame my cat for waking me up >:V #....i can't be mad at him #he's literally tapping my arm SO GENTLY with his paw rn #thats how he tells me he wants pets ;A; #its so cute ;A;

[megismorallysunny]

1/10/23

not too much happened in my science test i got a 96% i did really well in my maths test. the girl behind me who was smarter than me only got like half of it done so i either fucked up terribly or did amazing. in science our tutor teaches it and she took out 6 people to talk to them because apricot harassed melon for no reason, and like bothering her for no reason even tho she told him to fuck off.

my irish teacher didnt do the irish test, idrk why. but atleast i have more time, at the end of friday i walked from the school out to my old babysitters house next to my old primary school, and i just hung out there. she made me a potato waffle and fish fingers. it was very yummy. i talked to old friends again, i really missed them. i had old friends, twins. we were friends best friends until the end of 6th year because some shit happened and it was really toxic. my other friend comet was friends with them but they stopped being friends round the start of comets 1st year (my second year). no one knew what happened, i talked to her brother he didnt know shit, i talked to star, cloud (even with a 4-5 year ish age difference between cloud and 2 year with star) they didnt know anything either.

it was reallly weird, well me and cloud were talking on friday and were talking about the twins how we absolutely hate M but K is ok. and that theyre sister was going to turn out just like M. but anyways i decided to ask comet what happened, she didnt tell me at first but i said "i hope anything didnt happen" and i cracked her. she said that they didnt like her making new friends and that they always gave her dirty looks, after two years i finally found out. and i probably wasnt supposed to tell anyone but i told star, we dont talk to much only when we see each other but we talked more recently beacuse of that. stars friend E hates her other friend L and theres no reason behind it, i think E is very obsessed and maybe insecure because she doesnt want star to do anything without her and when she does she leaves the call or tells her she wont ever talk to star again but she always comes crawling back and its really weird. im very proud of star for not falling for the trap that emmas putting. it would be really toxic. i think im a little kind of like an older sister to star and cloud, we grew up together, and they were my best friends growing up.

i feel kind of bad saying this because i have a younger brother, i dont like him, he really annoys with me, everything that he does annoy me. i feel bad, i dont know what to do to become better with him, hes just way too annoying for me. but anywyas im glad i have star and cloud, i want them to play bigger parts in my life and i want to play bigger parts in theirs, i didnt show up in 1st year or second year much so i want to make up for lost time, they really were my best friends and its great that we can shittalk all the same people because we all grew up dealing with their shit. im glad i have them :DDD

-Megan

#blog

[antisocialgaycat]

feel free to ignore im kind of just screaming into the void here

so i love my friends right like theyre great people however there are some things that they do that kind of make me dislike them and i feel so bad abt it cos i love them but some of the shit they do makes me so uncomfy and i dont want to say anything cos what if they hate me for it and want to stop being friends with me and even though i know that they wont it still scares me lol but some of the shit they do makes me so uncomfy like some of them are hella transphobic and dont even realise it hell some of them say homophobic shit like in a joking way but it still kinda scares me also one of them uses autistic as an insult and that absolutely does not sit right with me and like this one isnt even that bad but they constantly refer to me as the gay one and they dont even seem to think of me as more than that sometimes also i have asked them a hundred times to call me lesbian instead of gay but nope im the gay one in the friend group and nothing will change that and that kind of doesnt vibe with me too good also theres this person who they keep referring to as my girlfriend or my wife and that absolutely is not okay with me and if asked them to stop so many times but they either cant or wont cos they keep calling her that and the thing is that the person they keep calling my wife is a really good friend of mine and we also have a lot of friends in common and i hang out w her and her friends a lot and whenever my friends see me with her they always take photos and shit which makes me so uncomfy i hate having photos taken of me and theyre also really unsubtle about calling her my girlfriend and shit when shes around and when her friends around and im so scared that either her or one of her friends will figure out that i like her and she'll be like ew thats mank and ill lose yet another friend and even tho i know thats so so unlikely cos shes a great person but it would at the very least make things awkward between us and i dont want that cos shes a good friend (better than my fg) so if my friends mess up that friendship i swear im gonna have no friends at all cos ill likely get pissed as fuck at them and my other friends will think im mentally fucked up and then i may as well just leave the entire fucking school and go to my local one and even though i know im catastrophising to the end of the earth and back it still doesnt take away from the fact that some of my friends are making me feel so uncomfy that i dont want to hang out w them even tho i love them also theres these two really toxic people in my grade who sometimes hang out with us (one more than the other) and theyve told the one whos not nice per se but less bad than the other one and hangs out with us less to fuck off and the homophobic transphobic bitch who uses so many slurs its not ok at all they seem to have no problem with oh and theres this kid in the year below us who always dabs up the rest of my fg but whenever he sees me he just says ew no ur a lesbian and one time he said that i prolly jerk off to furry porn and first of all what the actual fuck second of all that made me feel so uncomfy and third of all my fg just laughed and they still bring it up so often and they surely can tell it makes me feel so so fucking scared and i dont even fucking know why oh and one of my closest friends has the most terrible taste in guys like i swear she lies the most toxic people and im the only one who can actually see that cos all the others think theyre hot and they dont realise just how bad its gonna end every time theres literally only 2 people in that group who actually dont ever make me feel like my skeleton js gonna fucking scuttle out of my skin and crab walk to the nearest trash can and jump in so tysm to sarah (i aint gonna tag u cos i dont want u to see this post lmao im still gonna post it tho) and arkie (she doesnt even have tumblr and will never see this post but i still want to put it in writing) anyways yuh thats my lil vent

#just a load of garbage #literally ignore this please im js screaming into the void and hoping some answers float out of my words which they wont but still #also my fg make me feel so shit for hanging out with other people but like im fucking allowed to talk to people yall dont own me #they never did this to s or j and j fucking left the fg entirely and they still love her #anyways yeah #please ignore this #irl ppl ignore this please #this should never leave my drafts #it prolly will tho lmao

[dykewithafatpussy]

jill valentine my beloved

Dating Jill Valentine would include

pt. 2

warnings: nsfw towards the end but nothing too descriptive, mentions of death, trauma, jill has ptsd

gn!reader <3

i love her so much and she is criminally underrated and underwritten for

dating jill valentine would include...

jill is protective of you

ofc she would be i mean look at everything she's been through

you were dating before the raccoon city incident

shes forever thankful you were out of town that day

teaches you how to fight just incase she fails in her job to keep you safe, you need to be able to defend yourself, she says

teaches you how to handle a fire arm in case you dont know how

watching movies together

jill doesnt like horror movies

likes action movies

i feel like shes not the best cook, and only knows how to make simple things, which is fine, unless she burns it, which she will, so either you're doing most of the cooking or you're ordering take out

she doesnt seem like the type but she is very much touch starved constantly, any moment your not in her arms is a tragedy to her.

loves pulling you in her lap, she doesn't care if your taller, bigger, whatever, you're sitting in her lap

she'll sit in yours if you want her to

she wasn't always this cuddly tho, the events of arkley and raccoon city made her scared

scared everything will be ripped away if she's not holding on tight enough

you're her everything

she does however have her moments where she doesn't want to be touched

will let you know

ands its easy to tell when they happen bc of her body language

and normally after a bad nightmare are when these moments occur

dragging her to bed some nights bc its 1am and she's still at her desk looking over files

~angst~

jill wasnt the same after the events at arkley

she went from being playful to well traumatized

she watched her coworkers die

she almost died herself

and she became paranoid

while working on finding stuff to take umbrella down she became irrationally scared something would happen to you at the hands of those monsters.

she didnt know if they would kill you or turn you into one of those things

you watched as she worked herself sick

trying to to get her to bed and to eat. hell just to take a break, was an uphill battle

eventually it got to the point where jill snaps and yells at you

you yell back or cry

if you yell it turns into a screaming match

"you need to sleep jill" "you need to leave me the fuck alone" "well excuse me for giving a fuck about your wellbeing then"

if you cry, you run to the bathroom away from her seeing as you both just live in one big room

eventually she'll leave and go to the bar

once she calms down she feels bad about snapping at you

getting back to your shared apartment she finds you asleep on the bed, dried tears on your face

she felt like shit for making you cry

wraps her arms around you and falls into a fitful rest

she had a nightmare and it woke you up, you tried waking her but it was useless, so you opted to hold her until she woke up herself.

when she did she panicked, calming only slightly seeing you alive and well.

"you need to leave raccoon city" was the first thing she said

"what?" "you need to leave y/n, its not safe here"

with that she got out of bed and started shoving your clothes into a bag

you get up to stop her demanding she finally tell you what happened that night, why shes behaving the way she is, you only vaguely understood what happened but were largely in the dark about it.

jill sighs and finally tells you everything from what happened at that mansion, to what shes been researching, to her nightmares about you dying bc she couldn't protect you.

by the end of jill is crying into your shoulder as the stress of everything shes been holding crashes on her

you hold her and tell her youll be ok and that you dont want to leave but you will of it gives her peice of mind. that youll stay out of town.

~ansgt ends~

she misses you terribly but feels so much better knowing youre safe away from her and from the city

just in time to

after dealing with the city exploding and being hunted jill shows up to where youve been staying to check on you before leaving for europe to find chris

you're so relieved shes ok

you beg to come with her, but she refuses believing you'll be safer in hiding

you concede

but insist she gets better first

thus leading jill to be stuck to you the entire time

~nsfw~

Jill is dominant in bed

a tease

loves hearing you beg

pretty vanilla tbh but thats ok

but does love restraining you with her hand cuffs

has a strap and uses it well (yes even if you're amab, shes pegging you, if you're ok with it ofc)

can get pretty rough especially if she's stressed

not into degrading

is pretty silent during except for the occasional groan or "fuck baby"

loves giving oral until your legs are shaking and you're pushing her away

loves receiving oral as well

when she sees you again dont expect to able to walk right for a bit, it was a long few months without hearing you scream for her

honestly i feel like she would like cuddle fucking

~nsfw ends~

sorry the angst part is so long and that its kinda disorganized, i had a lot of ideas. gonna do a pt.2 with the events of revelations and re5 bc i didnt want this to be too long

#jill valentine #jill valentine x reader #resident evil #resident evil 3 #resident evil revelations #resident evil 5 #gn!reader #fanfiction #jill valentine headcanons #i just love her so much #jill valentine my beloved 🥺

[matchamabs]

I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,

i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya

ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️

,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀

ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 

slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do

ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 

u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie

??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?

i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago

again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 

UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die

hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://

trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em

now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎

u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/

i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong

here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think

a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush

ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔

ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one

ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work

10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me 

#botw #breath of the wild #aoc #age of calamity #calamity ganon #ganon #loz #legend of zelda #hyrule warriors age of calamity #hyrule warriors aoc #windblight #thunderblight #waterblight #fireblight #yiga #i ran out of ppl to rank and then i went wait-- #;)

[hnnyoongs]

Any parallels or similarities you find in eremika and obikaka? I’m interested to hear your takes.

unlike obikaka, eremika isn't in my top two for it’s show (sasusaku, obikaka, erejean, aruani) however eremika is still a favorite of mine similarities and parallels alright there’s a bunch now that I think about it

eren and obito ... were genocidal maniacs who genuinely believed they were doing the right thing and they dd these things partially for themselves but also for their loved ones they had no qualms of killing innocents but at the same time had a plan for people to be brought back to life/from being titans and that they ensured they would die

now eren thought armin was going to be the one to kill him and obito thought he’d be the one to kill himself with rinne rebirth or whatever it’s called but in actuality Mikasa kill eren and Kaguya killed obito HOWEVER the only other person who came close to killing obito was KAKASHI and he would have had Minato not stopped him had naruto taken the tone of aot kakashi for sure would have ended Obito’s life

in personality eren and obito have similar temper issues the crybaby I wanna do this unattainable goal personality they weren’t really skilled at anything but they always wanted to be the best they were reckless and as children hated seeing anyone left behind anyone they valued human life very much

mikasa and Kakashi are actually very similar yes yes adult kakashi reads porn and is lazy as fuck unless its the battlefield but why is he like this? because of obits death. and it’s not just oh he decided to become a better person no he modeled his new personality from obito Mikasa doesn’t do this but she too changes after eren saves her of course trauma changed her from a sweet happy girl to the Mikasa we know but more than that Kakashi’s loss of obito and Mikasa’s saving by eren fundamentally change their personality and outlook on life

EM antis will say that Mikasa’s life revolves around Eren which in some ways yes a lot of the things she dos has to do with Eren because he’s her precious person and she wants to keep him safe she doesnt want to loose someone again but you know no one ever points this out Kakashi’s personality also revolves around obito due to obito being “dead” no one calls it out but everything he does the way he talks the way he fights the way he treats people is all connected to obito

kakashi calls obito his “eiyuu” his hero and for Mikasa eren is the very same as obito saved kakashi from being crushed dead eren saved Mikasa from being sold off and we also see in these instances that obito and eren are willing to kill for people who they barely know/seem to dislike I know team Minato was in a war but obito had parallels to naruto and 13 year old naruto refused to kill anyone even if they had hurt his precious people eren well... dude has always been a little unhinged but so has obito it just didnt seem that way because being unhinged was the normal for Ninja if u were sane u clearly shouldn't be a child solider for hire in a military dictatorship

also just angst yea that's a similarity angst cuz like Mikasa and kakashi will never get to be happy with their loved ones because eren and obito are dead had they been alive they would have been executed due to committing literal genocide kakashi has no body to bury and Mikasa only has a head they cant have a grave with their names on it and yea yea obito might still be on the memorial stone in boruto but u really think anyone outside of team 7 would be alright with the man who started the 4th shinobi war being honored among the people he killed?

people will hate them rightfully so because they did terrible things but for Mikasa and kakashi it’ll be devastating because they love eren and obito so much but other than armin and naruto you wont find anyone else who seems to accept that they feel such a way (tho I wanna believe my favs jean and sakura would be ok with it cuz jean has always been soft on Mikasa and eren while sakura would understand the feeling of liking someone who did bad things but regretted it but that doesnt take away said bad things)

theres a lot more but I feel like im honestly just repeating the same things sooooo if I were to parallel obikaka with a ship it would be bakudeku from bnha or sasusaku (ik ik people are gonna be like but it’s more like sasunaru and to that I say naruto never saw sasuke as a criminal and he always wanted to save him while sakura tried but couldn't cuz she loved him so much and that's very much like Kakashi’s feelings toward obito no hate towards sasunaru tho I ship it I just like sasusaku and sasunarusaku better)

phew this is long sorry anon

#eremika #obikaka #kakaobi #eren yeager #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #hatake kakashi #uchiha obito #tobi #jean kirschstein #aruani #armin arlet #annie leonhart #Annie leonhardt #sasusaku #uchiha sasuke #haruno sakura #uzumaki naruto #naruto #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #team 7 #boruto #erejean #sasunarusaku #sasunaru #sns #bakudeku

[sir-sunny]

Dkks no jaj i have this thing that won't leave me and i just NEED TO SHARE IT

Also, PLEASE ADD ON I'LL ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT

Okay, i personally think that even in pre-game hajime and nagito never intended to hurt each or be actually mean (well maybe at first but it didn't last long) , They unconsciously make sure not to make the other too upset

The worst thing that has happened between them is when hajime made mildly violent gestures with his hands at nagito

Now, the reserve course's exams are a nightmare and when they happen the department falls into chaos, it's bad. and i mean "student body has to mentally prepare and starve themselves of sleep at least a month in advance" kind of bad

this takes a huge toll on hajime who is just so sleep deprived he's almost falling on his ass because he just wants SO sleep so bad. Not only that but he feels stupid for not being able to remember the 70+ questions of his exams, he is not having a good time :(

Meanwhile nagito has gone to fetch hajime after he ghosted everyone in 77-b for two weeks and they weren't able to find him in campus, In fact, he's planning to give hinata-kun a piece of his mind for overstepping his boundaries with the ultimates and NOT because he made nagito worried sick! Nagito is not worried!!!

He stops feeling this way when hajime passes by swinging from side to side and looking horrible and oh god he's falling

nagito grabs him before he falls over and they just stare. At each other. For like a whole minute

To alleviate the tension nagito decides (oh no) to be condescending again (a lot less harsh tho) to shift the attention y'know

This was the wrong move because when nagito stops talking, it's all too much hajime finally falls over and just. Starts bawling his eyes out im talking about the most ghibli-esque thick as fuck tears full blown sobbing and screaming

It's literally so embarrassing for hajime but he can't stop. To cope, he just starts cursing nagito out in hopes that he just leaves hajime alone and forgets this ever happened

Nagito can not even understand what hajime is saying but he's like "wow i'm the worst person to ever exist" bc now he's crossed the line now, he's made hajime cry and he's the worst

In an attempt to comfort hajime, nagito decides to awkwardly hug him and pat his back. since hajime's dignity is dead he enthusiastically (and still crying) returns the hug and sobs into nagito's uniform, it's just so awkward all around

mmmgmgmhmmgh crying, suffering hajime,,, my weakness,,m

k first of all, hpa for sure made the reserve course students MISERABLE. hajime in particular was going through hell cuz he's very much a perfectionist. he wants so badly to belong at hopes peak and he wants to make something of himself, so he pushes himself extremely hard. he wants to get perfect grades and he wants to go above and beyond so maybe the higher ups will regard him with even the smallest bit of respect (they dont) . he wants to feel like he belongs. so he disregards any form of self care in favor of excelling at everything.

he doesnt want to say it or show it but he feels horrible constantly. mentally, physically, and emotionally. he has terrible headaches, his whole body is in pain, he's utterly exhausted, he's painfully stressed and overwhelmed, he's just on the brink of losing his composure altogether

nagito's sarcastic remark just came at the wrong time and managed to hit the very specific nerve that would break hajime

and HOOO boy does hajime break,, his body can hardly even support himself. at first, he's lashing out at nagito but the stream of consciousness just keeps going and he starts to belittle and curse himself for not being good enough

and hhhh nagtio. is dumbfounded to say the least. he proabably stands there for a good minute just watching hajime spiral, unsure if hajime would rather nagito leave or... do something.. should he comfort him??? uummhhhhh,,

and nagito is half expecting hajime to punch him in the gut when he offers a very stiff and awkward hug. he was most certainly NOT expecting hajime to throw himself onto nagito and hold onto him for dear life

and just asjkdhfjh when it's all said and done, hajime probably quietly apologized and even more quietly thanks him and run away

#nagito has no idea what to tell the rest of the class #he probably makes some offhanded remark like #i went to go find him but i couldnt bear to step foot on that repulsive campus so i retreated #he decides to keep that interaction between the two of them #asks #macoisinanartica #dr #sdr2 #komahina #sunny speaks

[themountainsays]

Gonna be noisy again <333

Idk if this has been done before

BUT

Mirabel/Dolores/maybe Isabela runaway au

Summary:

Mira being so tired from always being overlooked(?) and ignored from Alma, also feeling like a burden bc shes the "only one" who is giftless and thinking shes just in the way. (Julieta being so busy bc everyone keeps getting hurt, that she doesnt see's Mirabel that much and so doesnt notice how shes feeling)

Dolores being so done always listening to EVERYTHING. Trying everything to stop the noise just for one. fucking. minute. But NO, it wont stop. It's hurting so much and the headaches from all the noise wont go away. Hearing all the sick and messed things people do and not knowing what she can do against it.

[Isabela being so sick of always needing to be perfect. Why. cant. it. stop. But no, always perfect. Shes scared? Smile. Be perfect. She cant take it anymore]

Mira and Dolores deciding that they both have enough and starting to make a plan so that they can leave fast and quietly [Isabela overhearing it and wanting to come with them].

They start to slowly pack their things and to prepare everything (getting the horses ready, getting food, maybe get a pair of pants bc its hard to ride on a horse with a skirt for a long time)

Writing a letter in the middle of the night and then leaving (maybe they extinguish the candle too)

Both of them just being so fucking happy bc finally!! they can rest and do what they want

Ahhh runaway AUs are so bittersweet to me because I love the family and I love seeing them together but I also know that leaving - actually leaving, not hiding in the walls - would have made some of the family members so much happier. Also i'm gay. leaving is my dream in life. I can 100% understand the characters wanting to leave. Though wouldn't it be enough to extinguish the candle? I feel like either leaving OR blowing out the candle would be the very last resort, so like if they're leaving they wouldn't really need to end the miracle right? They'd be far away anyway. Though we don't know if they'd lose their powers if they go far enough so, if anything, Dolores leaving to live in a big city without losing her Gift first would be worse, because there's so much more noise. Unless they plan to live in the mountains? Which is also very homosexual of them. I support. God I wish i lived somewhere warm enough to run away into the mountains TT_TT where i am i wouldn't find anything to eat other than ice. Alternatively, if they ONLY blow out the candle, do they really need to leave? it would shake the status quo entirely, and the family would need to change to survive, so if anything I can see them leaving AFTER blowing out the candle and seeing Alma is just as oppressive as always or worse.

Ahh now I'm imagining Dolores being in a big city for the first time and having a terrible horrible very bad time, like I'm thinking, she's curling up in the cheap hotel bed, covering her ears, probably having a migraine (idk i just like the idea of Dolores suffering from migraines as a result of the stress her gift causes her), whimpering and wincing whenever someone slams a door or an ambulance siren goes off outside. And her cousins stay by her side to comfort her uwu. Getting her something to eat and drink, and idk depending on how modern the outside world is maybe Isabela runs to get some noise-cancelling headphones for her. And Mirabel meanwhile is like "maybe we should have thought about this better".

I do feel bad for Luisa tho. Being the only one of the sisters left she must feel alone :( plus now all the pressure she might have shared with Isabela before is on her shoulders, AND, if she's not handling it well at all, she may end up becoming the new scapegoat now that Mirabel is gone ;-;

#encanto #mirabel madrigal #dolores madrigal #isabela madrigal #dunno if you meant it in a shippy or gen way so i'm tagging everything as if it's gen #uhhhh how do i tag this au #encanto cousins running away au #????? #very original ik

[chaaaaalk]

What r ur top three movies rn

!!!! seeing this in my inbox was so exciting! I'll jump at any chance to talk about movies. This was difficult tho, not gonna lie, I had to sit down and really think because honestly I can have a great big handful of favourites at any given time and they will all be so different to one another.

Part of me really wants to answer with things like Freaked or Meet the Feebles and all the batshit, over the top stuff with hybrid aesthetics that I really really like ha.

But I'll answer with 3 of my favourites that I can go back to in an instant that I think are all around pretty entertaining, interesting and kinda bizarre.

Phantom of the Paradise is one I absolutely love to the moon and back, everything about it enthalls me, from the overall themes of corporate bullshittery and the whole idea of art being so easily and quickly passed into the wrong hands (to the point where it is used as a weapon against it's original creator) being the main driving plot, Willem Finley, Paul Williams and Jessica Harper (in her first feature!!!!) being an iconic as fuck trio which everything is sorta balanced on, all of the stories about the film's production and the whole swan song set back, the music, the tonto synthesizer, the bird motif and how it's still pretty relevant now, I love all of it.

Possession from 1981 is one I just keep going back too, and I think thats just because I think it works great as a genuinely unnerving horror film/creature flick while also being pretty damn camp at the same time??? I get so much out of every performance every time I rewatch it (I fucking read a letterboxd review recently where the person said that Sam Neil reminded them a bit of a 'hot Mr Bean' and I literally cant stop thinking about it). Im a fool for content involving doppelgangers and I think this is still to this day one of the more mysterious and eerie examples of that kind of subject matter. On a more serious note, I think the setting (right by the Berlin Wall, something that really amplifies the films overarching theme of devision) and the gritty blue, green and brown colour palette makes the whole thing pretty identifiable as 'Possession', you know. I think I really just enjoy the heaviness of this movie, theres so many layers to it and I feel like I come out of it after each revisit with a slightly altered interpretation.

This third spot had me a bit stumped cos theres so many that could take it, but I knew it had to be a movie more on the theatrical side of things, in the sense that its something relatively contained in terms of characters and setting and relies heavily on the interaction rather than the event itself. Im gonna have to go with Dog Day Afternoon, which is different than the last two previously listed, since 1) it doesnt have any horror/fantasy elements in it at all and 2) it is a fairly recent favourite of mine. I love movies where dudes are just terrible at doing what they set out to do and this is like the pinnicle of that kind of thing. It's claustrophobic and insane and manages to be quite funny at times in a completely natural way, the humour coming from the absolute absurdity of the situation rather than the script itself. Lastly, but just as importantly, I think this movie and the sympathy it contains remains, to this day, incredibly culturally rich and fairly relevant (despite it being released in 1975) with the way it handles a lot of subjects that are still being discussed in 2021. Also, and this is a given, Al Pacino gives one hell of a performance here, the nuance, the range...

Forgive this long write up but yeah those are probably the three I currently wear on my sleeve the most. I do feel like I should mention the two I had running up for that third slot that are also high-stake, tense character pieces primarily set in the one location, and those are Funny Games from both 1997 and 2007 and Angst from 1983, however these are tough to sit through to say the very least and arent for everybody so I'll leave them in the honourable mentions (because god theyre effective in what theyre trying to do and I couldnt just post this without mentioning them, my apologies).

Alrighty, that's probably more than enough to answer your question, Im gonna go sit down on the floor now before I think of anything else and drag this on any further, bye 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

#chalk answers #i steampowered through this once i actually picked which three i was gonna put in the spotlight lol

[maldito-arbol]

CMTO chap. 4

TITLE??? SASHY?????? Fuck off Fuck off Fuck off

THATS THE FIRST LINE??? Agshdjjdhs ???? “He’s supposed to be dead why isn’t he dead”

“I trust Marcy.” “Do you now?” (OH? HELLO?? Strength?????? I mean, I guess Sashy is kinda scared or Marcy still but I think she still at least mostly trusts her, right?)

‘There’s an itch in her scalp again,’ (mmmmmmm goop?)

“I’ll do a fine job of keeping a close eye on my Keeper myself.” “Oh yes, we will.” (Strength what are you ON about WHAT)

Her head itches and itches, but she can’t touch it in the presence of the Toad Lords, can’t satisfy that insatiable urge to claw at her head, to scratch and scratch until her skin breaks. She so nearly loses herself entirely before she’s given her break at last,(HMMMMMM GOOP?)

ANDY. IT CALLS HIM ANDY??? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK ANDY(IT WASNT STRENGTY WAS IT FUCK)

In one fell swoop, Marcy axes a whole nickname from the list of endearments her girlfriends can call her by. The only nickname, in fact, that Sasha herself had come up with before they landed in Amphibia.(o-oh. Hhhhhhhh nooooooooooo mmmmmmmmmmmm. No what why Mal. Why)

“There’s so much to do, so much to do…never enough time to get it done…I’m running late….need more time…..”

“Oh, I’ve missed a detail. Where are my notes?”

“…that’s not right either. You freakin’ moron.”

“Help me.”

“I still haven’t found it. Where is it? Need it. Give it to me.”

(Hmmmmm. Very, inch resting. Strength had notes? It needs more time? It’s looking for something? And it needs it? Is it calling itself a moron?hmmmmmm)(oh. Sashy doesn’t have the crown on here I don’t think)

I WAS LIKE ‘what if it’s Froog’ AS A JOKE YO FUCK WHAT DAMN NOT SPRIGGY BOY ASS BITCH HUH

Hhhhhhhh DO NOT like that comparison to a cats collar nope nuh uh Andrias already has a TERRIBLE history with collars leave right now

HOLY SHIT SECRET FIGE PASSAGE WAY NO WAY HOLY SHIT FUCK YEAH HOLY SHIT FUCK. I feel like some of these reactions are so much funnier when you see how little of the context I actually read before coming to say them

‘A doorway to hell’ (yeah okay sure whatever fuck)

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nope nope nope that’s hhhhhhhhhhhhhhnope

Was it a dream?

Strength shut the fuck up about the crown Marcy’s right shut up

NOT A DREAM NOT A DREAM SASHY CAN JUST TELEPORT APPARENTLY

PERCY AND BRADDOCK <3

Mmmm smells like favouritism

Strength shut UP about the eyes PLEASE

It’s because Anne is down, she thinks. And they can’t lose another. (Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Bro-bro agshdjfjjgjshahdh

she can’t get the image of Yunan chained to the wall and Olivia crying at her feet out of her head. 

 Can I really rely on them to make certain nothing happens to her? (OKAY YEAH SURE HOLD THAT AGAINST THEM. WHATEVER)

Oh god no not the fucking outfit guy-

How come nobody told me about those dark circles? I look clinically insane. (Hhhmmm. Hm. I was gonna say something but I Forgot fuck)

the world is going fuzzy again, the edges of her vision glitching in little cubes of orange, (cubey orange mmmm. Minecraft. I don’t know why I said that. Interesting that it’s a Cube tho hm. Glitchy)

“Adoration can destroy you from the inside out.”(Strength whet the Fuck are you on about)

Anne didn’t get to see this. (Oh oh. Fuck. Okay. *sobs*)

“How remarkable it is to see a living, breathing body change. It’s something you lose when you spend a thousand years without one.”( Strengthe what the FUCK are you on about. It really just Says shit huh. What the hell)

He spits. “Maybe if you would give me my damn crown back, I’d have something to keep me company in this wretched place.” He scratches and scrapes at his own head. “Just make yourself a new one, it’s not hard! I can give you the recipe, the materials, everything, just give me mine back—” (that paragraph has like. 7 red flags. Sasha come ON)

STOP CALLING HIM ANDY HE DOESNT DESERVE A NICKNAME

Strength stop sabotaging Sasharcy relationship challenge. Just because your relationship got fucked up doesn’t mean you can fuck up theirs geez

“I haven’t been able to trust your word since you found me at the Old Mill,” (OHKAY. LOW FUCKING BLOW SASHA FUCK. FUCK LOW BLOW UR GONNA REGRET THAT. Sash GEEZ)

Wait okay wait what. Did Sashy leave some kind of trail or just. She went missing and Marcy just knew she was in the basement. At first I thought it’s as a dream but this doesn’t really feel like a dream anymore. Hm

Hhhhhh h h h h h hbhhh h h hh h h h hhhhh h h hhh h Hhhhhhhh

Strength didn’t the note say fucking. A final home for a Blue gem. Strength no stop. No what. Stop no. No no-

IT WAS STRENGTH RIGHT? The bold. The bold means it’s their gem taking but. Huh

NO! LEAVE! THE COLLAR IS NOT COMING BACK NO FUCK OFF NO NONONONONONO NO!!

“When you said you couldn’t bear to watch me die? When you made me promise to n- never let go?” It strikes Sasha like a knife to the heart. “…when did that change?” (God fuck shit fuck shit aaaaAaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

Dude that’s literally the ONE thing she asked u not to call her DUDE COME ON

HELL-FUCKING-O BARREL???????

“I can still puppeteer a corpse” (HELL FUCKING OH? BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF)

Mmmm theories are a brewing already

Mmmm new home the crown. Hmmmm those riddles hmmm…- the. The pink one was the jail wasn’t it. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Chapter 2 Mar-mar and Chapter 4 Sashy

Same energy, I did it twice and y’all fell for it BOTH TIMES dw dw I’m done with the pet name shit (or am I) I have plenty of other ways to torture you guys (chapter 6’s title may just End your life)

I feel like I intended on starting the chapter somewhere else but then when I finished and went back to edit I was like “lmao no this is funny”

Yeah Sasha trusts Marcy! The orange bitch is just gaslighting her (and it works! 🤡)

mmmmmmmmmmm kinda!

Orange asshole has its eye on Marcy hhh

MMMMMMMMMMM KINDA!!

It Does Indeed Call Him Andy :)))))) a nickname of endearment!

Idk what happened there my brain was just like “what if you tormented Sasha by giving her the rights to the Mar-mar nickname”. It’s the only one Sasha has USED canonically iirc and it was the first one she called her by when they met up at the Third Temple so ofc I gave it to her.

Sashy our beloved did Indeed have the crown on, she went to bed in it oops. Also haha let’s play a game of Can You Spot Strength in all this dialogue!

The Correct Answer is: All of Strength’s dialogue is regular bold and all of The Core’s dialogue is italicized bold ok have fun rereading chapters 1 and 4 with this info <3

ITS FROOG MY BELOVED!! I couldn’t wait till that backstory to include her, I wanted her NOW

Once again Thanking you for pointing out the cat’s collar thing.

Though there are none visible, the sound of jingling bells reaches her ears, like a kitten’s collar to alert its owner to its presence.

This line has SO many implications ;) Andrias indeed has a terrible history with collars…………

THE FRIDGE. Obsessed with the fucking Fridge for some reason (we’ll actually talk about it again in chapter 5 lmao)

Every doorway to the basement is a doorway to hell.

Hahahahahahahaha :)

WAS IT.

no no keep Speaking hehehehe

OR. have u considered:

PERCY AND BRADDOCK MY BELOVEDS,,,,,

Mmmmmm stinky

Eyeball Jokes we have fun here ^-^

Yeah. Have fun with that one :^)

SHE DOES CALL HIM BRO-BRO IN CANON I STG

LMAO LEAVE IT TO SASHA TO HOLD LITERALLY TRAUMA AGAINST PPL

BERNARDOOOOOOOOO

Fighting Sasha on who’s dark circles are the darkest. I am losing bc I went to sleep early last night.

MINECRAFT. no I thought the exact same thing.

OOH THAT LINE. FUCKING LOVE THAT LINE. This Orange fuck is projecting SO HARD rn.

Haha suffer :)

All this Orange bitch do is project.

So many Red Flags but when your world is Orange they hardly register :3

So sorry Bestie but the Andy nickname will NOT be going away anytime soon.

NSBDSNKSKSKSSL AS IF STRENGTH HATES TO SEE LOVING RELATIONSHIPS JUST BC ITS OWN RELATIONSHIP ENDED IN DIVORCE

Yeah. Low blow. Little bit. :’) god the PMIT references in this chap gonna ruin me.

I might Explain that later, in Marcy’s next POV chap, but we’ll see. No it is Not a dream :3

How’s ur H button doing

HAHA

R u sure about that

I TOLD YOU THE COLLAR WOULD BE BACK AND I FEEL ZERO REMORSE *gets hit by a truck*

The PMIT references to make us all cry <3

Yup. Sasha called her Mar-mar on purpose, to prove a point, and it’s SO upsetting. Sash pls—

BARREL BARREL BARREL BARREL *beats fists on table* MY BELOVED

Horrifying implications, right?

Tell Me All Your Theories I’ll Eat Them

Yep yep yep yep

#ask mal #CMTO #ok I’m gonna go take a nap and then come back lmao *dies*

[soulwillower]

crush culture • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested: fic where Richie and reader have been best friends since kindergarten, and have always had feelings for eachother secretly, until one day richie gets a girlfriend (just to take his mind off her), and the reader gets jealous and distances herself from him? he obviously gets upset by this- and things go on from there? sorry if it’s too specific! love u!

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of death, fighting, mentions of an abusive relationship, intentionally pissing off richie, a bit of angst, richie is an oblivious idiot, but reader is MUCH more of an idiot, like dude lmao, but i think that’s it, unedited tho

this isn’t rly based off crush culture, but i took the title from conan gray’s song :)  

[losers + reader are 18+ in this!!!]

3.8k words L O L :))

♡

you swear to god, you’re getting sick. that’s what this was, for sure.

it started about a month ago, when you started to get headaches and terrible hollow feelings in your stomach. it happened everywhere - in the line for coffee, in class, driving home from school, at the dinner table. but it got a hundred times worse at night and then seemed to triple in force every morning when you woke.

and it all came at you some time after richie announced he had a new girlfriend.

you were really sick the few days after that, enough that you stayed home from school and laid in bed, the pit in your stomach sinking. it didnt take long for you to realize how bad richie’s girlfriend was - she treated him like a dog, like he embarrassed her - and he didn’t even seem to mind. he just brushed off every offhand comment, rolled his eyes with a grin when she told him she didn’t want to see his friends or when she told him to stop talking. 

he still seemed to like her, anyways. and that thought made your stomach convulse.

so then you had to distance yourself from richie because it hurt you to see him with her. it hurt you to see him with someone who didn’t treat him like the incredible person he was. 

so yeah.

you say you’re sick, but you know that’s not really true. it’s easier than accepting reality at this point, though, so you spew this nonsense (to yourself, mostly) in order to justify ignoring your best friend of nearly a decade because christ, he is becoming unbearable.

like the other day, at lunch while you were all sitting in the courtyard. it was your first time eating with them again after almost a week and a half, as you’d been eating alone in your car recently to avoid richie. “rich, why’d you take off the nail polish?” bev asked, out of the blue, sounding disappointed as she grabbed his free hand and examined it.

he blew smoke out of his mouth slowly and you had forced yourself to look away, the sight of richie doing nearly anything these days being pretty dangerous for you. it also made you sigh a bit - you knew he only smoked at lunch now, since his girlfriend hated it.

“don’t want my paws to be prettier than y/n’s when we hold hands.” he had joked, wagging an eyebrow at you. you’d shook your head and looked to the ground in lew of a real response, just as you had been doing a lot recently.

you'd missed richie’s frown at your reaction, but you did catch his next statement as it was added on, “nah, actually it’s because the ol’ G-F didn’t like it. thought it looked too girly.”

you, stan, bev, and mike all stopped chewing to look at richie, in varying stages of bewilderment. you'd cleared your throat quickly but decided against speaking up just as richie’s phone started to ring. he’d answered it nearly immediately, the enthusiasm of which made you feel like you’re going to be sick again - because richie never answers your calls until the last possible minute.

god, jealousy is a fucking disease.

“hey, sugar.” he had purred suavely into the phone and for some reason, hearing him call someone else sugar had you abruptly rising, gathering your things and nearly running off to put as much distance between you and four-eyes as you possibly could, because you’re not sure how much more you could take.

after that, you were absolutely sure it was just pure denial on your part.

as far as you could tell, richie wasn't noticing too much. he still phoned your house every day, just to be met with your mother telling him you 'weren't available,' and then he'd call your own phone, which you'd let buzz itself into a dark hole on your bedside table while you stared at it solemnly, guilt heavy on your mind as he left voicemail after voicemail. 

he doesn't deserve it, you think as you open the doors to the school library, backpack on your shoulders. but you can't help it. you're not his girlfriend, and you're not mature enough to accept that with any ounce of elegance so instead you just ignore him all together. at least you're self-aware, right? that ought to count for something.

you shake your head just as a voice catches your attention, “well look who decided to show up!”

richie's sitting at the usual study table in the very back corner of the library, a spot tucked away by rows upon rows of dusty books and an alcove of couches. bill sits at the head of the table, scribbling his chicken scratch handwriting onto graph paper, mike next to richie with a textbook spread out flat. across from mike is stan, writing out his statistics work. 

all three of them wave at you before going back to their work, whereas richie just watches you expectantly. his feet are kicked up on the table, textbook balanced on his lap as he hovers on two leg chairs. his smile is as blinding as always, a dimple faint on his left cheek and full eyebrows raised in jest. his curls frame his face perfectly and you want to scream.

but you take your seat next to stan with a tight lipped smile, not really sure how to respond to richie. are you even allowed to be flirty with him like you used to? he still does it on the rare occasions when you do see each other - but that itself is the issue, you figure. his flirting is just a joke, a tiff from one friend to another. but you can't see him as just a friend, and that’s unfair to him.

so you stay quiet, which makes it infinitely more awkward.

richie clears his throat and you pull out your work with an awkward expression, the minutes slowly churning by in what has to be the quietest hangout with the Losers yet.

you feel the tension building in your body and in the air, and you're not sure what's wrong with you or why you have so much resentment towards richie in this moment, because he's not done one single thing to offend anyone in the last ten minutes.

then richie's phone rings suddenly and mike jumps a bit as he's startled out of the passage he's reading. you all look down to richie's screen, where his girlfriend's name blares up at you and all you can feel is white hot jealousy coursing through your body.

richie looks half way exhausted and annoyed at the call, which you find extremely odd and out of character, not to mention persistently frustrating.

as you all stare at the phone, the tension in the room stretches tighter and tighter, like a rubber band and you can't breathe -

"uh, why is she calling you?" mike asks, as if this was something that was forbidden or shocking in any way, and for some reason, that is finally it.

the rubber band snaps.

"how could you forget, mike? they're in love!" you say with mock enthusiasm. 

bill shoots you an alarmed look that you probably should read into or at least consider for a moment, but instead you're looking directly at richie, as if challenging him.

he blinks at you and clenches his jaw, "she and i haven't really been... talking recently." richie says lightly, shooting a glance to mike.

“well then maybe you’re just not right for each other.” you quip, the blood boiling in your veins. richie's eyes snap to you and you see the fire behind them as he suddenly breaks.

“sorry, did i miss the divine intervention when god floated down on a cloud of marshmallows and deemed you expert in relationships?” he says abruptly, making your eyes widen at his outburst. he continues, “because last time i checked, you’re a bit of a failure in that department. so i don't need some jealous, disappearing-act wannabe criticizing my life when she's barely even in it.” he seethes. it’s near quiet in the library anyways, but his words seem to silence the entire town.

with a quick glance to your right, stan and bill sharing an uncomfortable look, and mike is staring down intently at his work with wide eyes.

you want to die.

does richie know? has he known this whole time that you're just deeply, painfully head over heels for him? 

"i'm so sick of your bullshit. maybe you're jealous because you want what i had, but you’re being really fucking rude."

you nearly cry. or scream.

“criticism doesnt equal jealousy, okay?” you spit without thinking, immediately regretting even opening your mouth. you're so intent on covering for yourself, you don't even take into account the phrasing he'd used when referring to his girlfriend, instead fighting with richie in order to keep your secret from him.  

this is not how you’d intended today to go. he stares at you, eyebrows furrowed in a way that almost makes you keel over in sadness, the guilt of the situation falling too heavily on your shoulders and crushing you.

it’s tranquilizing to see him like this -  he's fuming, but he's also got bright, glistening eyes which you think may be filling up with tears.

“i didn’t really ask for your input, though.” he mutters, cheeks reddening as tears definitely well in his eyes behind his lenses. “you can’t just ignore me at your every whim just to come right back and tell me what's good for me.”

you blink, shaking your head quickly, deciding to back off. now is not the time to fight, especially when you know he’s right. you had no idea it was hurting him like this. "richie, i... i just wanted-" you gape at him, extremely embarrassed.

“-i don’t fucking care what you wanted, y/n.” richie says sharply, causing you to shut your mouth so quick your jaw clicks in the silence. clearly, even the other boys are perturbed by richie’s actions and everyone’s staring down in silence at their homework.

it’s quiet like that for a few minutes, the tension so thick that you’d need a jackhammer just to chip away at it. but stan rummages through his bag suddenly, pulling out two painkillers and dry swallowing them. you don't look at anyone else, your stomach hollow and your heart thumping so hard in your chest you think you may explode.

"d-do you have a headache?" bill asks, looking at stan with concern. the sudden voice causes you to perk up, head flowing with humiliation at the fight you and richie had just had in front of your friends.

“yeah, but it’s not that bad. i guess i’m used to it.” stan says, pen between his teeth.

“just because you’re used to something doesn’t make it any less unhealthy for you.” you say louder than necessary, your mouth suddenly deciding to speak without consulting your brain. 

the glare of pure frustration that richie throws you pierces your lungs and suddenly makes you feel lightheaded. 

your pettiness doesn’t go unresponsive, of course, and mike sighs into his hands, standing up to gather his things. "alright. i can't study when you two are like this. i'll see you guys later."

richie sighs quietly and bill and stan mumble good-bye's. the library goes back to quiet for maybe three more minutes, until you see stanley start to fidget like he usually does when he's anxious. and then you notice it after a few seconds, too.

richie won't stop tapping his foot on the desk.

for everyone's sake, you try to ignore it, because you know richie can't help his compulsions - especially when he's upset (which, your mind painfully reminds you, is all your fault).

but it's driving you crazy.

“-if you keep doing that i’ll throw you out that fucking window rich, i swear.” stan mutters not unkindly, his eyes rolling to meet richie with a concerned gaze as richie stares out the window.

you raise your eyebrows, “what’re you even looking at?” you ask, trying to mend a bit of the open, festering wound you’d created in you and richie’s friendship.

without looking at you, richie shrugs. “checking to see how high the drop is. may be worth it to have schnoz just toss me down. it would certainly do you a favor right? gettin ol’ trashmouth gone for good.”

what was he saying? you look at him, scandalized. stan and bill don’t even say anything about the offensive nickname as you gape at richie. "what the fuck?" is all your brilliant mind can think.

"what, you can dish it but you can't take it?" richie says sharply. he shakes his head, looking upset. "i'm tired of trying to be friends with a fucking brick wall."

then he's gathering his one notebook and swiftly exiting your alcove in the library in a wind of cigarettes and cologne. 

you blink, his words sinking in and making you sigh shakily. your stomach feels hollow as you remember the expression of glee on his face when you'd walked into the library, and how completely different and broken he'd looked as he'd left. you think you're going to cry.

“every minute that you don't follow him digs yourself deeper into this grave, you know.” stan says, giving you a stern but encouraging look.

you let out a shaky sigh and scramble to grab your bag, tripping over your feet as you run out of the library, flying down the staircase faster than you've ever gone and making it to your lifelong best friend just as he reaches his car in the parking lot.

"-a brick wall?" you ask, out of breath. you see richie hold back an eye roll, his arms crossing over each other as he serves you a look of discomposure.

he shrugs helplessly, looking as if he's at his wit's end.

"what do you want me to say, y/n? you've been avoiding me for weeks. i know i'm annoying and obnoxious and whatever, but i'm not blind." he says, making you swallow as guilt pangs through your chest. you have been so fucking selfish, haven't you?

it hurts to hear him say that about himself. 

he sniffles a bit, sounding choked up as he goes on, "i've had a rough couple of days - weeks, even. but every time i'm near, it's like you've had more than enough, and you just leave. am i that repulsive? why do you suddenly hate me?" he asks, looking desperate as his eyes rim red, filling with tears again.

“what did i do?” his voice cracks as he whispers the sentence and your heart breaks in two.

your own vision goes glassy as he continues, "-i've needed you, y/n/n. i'm lost, i'm seriously not okay and you just don't care at all."

you're stunned for a moment, mouth opening and closing silently as your mind races to rush something out, anything,because you aren't sure you can bear to see richie look at you like this for one more second. but your silence comes off wrong to richie, and tears slip out of his eyes.

“don’t you love me?” he asks, voice hoarse and cutting right through you, deeper than any knife ever could. "don't you want me to be happy?" he adds and you take a shaky breath, looking helplessly at him, where you're met with nothing but glassy eyes and tear trails. your heart is slamming in your chest, tears falling from your eyes and you can't breathe.

"a-are you?" you ask, trying to keep your tone even although it comes out just as vulnerable as you feel. “h-happy. with her?”

richie freezes at your words, mouth slightly open and you watch a single tear course over his high cheekbones and down to his bottom lip as it shakes faintly. you curse yourself for the longing to feel those very lips against yours.

"i was." he whispers, voice shaking as he rubs his face with his hand under his glasses, the moisture of his fallen tears clinging from his long dark lashes onto his slender, shaking fingers. "and then - and then i lost you. and y'know, i got my girlfriend so i could distract myself, but she made me feel like absolute shit all the time and so i went and broke up with her, but -" he hiccups through his tears and you blink, biting your lip as tears cascade down your cheek in wet trails.

they broke up?

he broke up with her, and he's going through this breakup and trying to better himself after she tore him down and you've just been ignoring him - he thinks you don't care about him, that you don't love him. you start to cry harder. 

"-i thought she'd distract me from you. i-i'm sorry." he says, his voice muffled by his hands as they cover up his angelic face, his shoulders shaking as more tears fall. "i'm so sorry."he repeats. 

you see double for a second, completely shocked by his words as the breath leaves your lungs. he tried to distract himself from you... and he’s so hurt because of what you did. 

but finally, for the first time this whole damn day, you find the right words. "i-no, richie, i'm sorry, please - fuck." you break, letting out a sob as you rub your eyes furiously in search of any relief from the guilt ripping you in two. "i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm so sorry, i can't believe i did this, i didn't want to hurt you, i'm just so selfish." you babble, his sniffles making you open your eyes.

he looks so alone and so vulnerable as he hugs his arms around himself in search of comfort, tears still falling from his bright eyes and down his rosy cheeks. 

he looks devastatingly beautiful in the golden sunlight of the afternoon, a breeze ruffling his curls lightly. "just please, i can't - i can't deal with you hating me. please, please, please."

he's pleading with you and you think you may be sick from the guilt and sadness that envelopes you, so you spring forward and wrap your arms tightly around him. the force of your body pushes him against the side of his car and the way he clings back to you like you're the last thing holding him to earth just makes you cry even harder.

"i don't hate you, richie. i love you, i love you too much." you say, your body shaking as he just holds you tighter against him. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean any of it. you're right. i was just jealous... i'm so sorry. i was so jealous of her, i couldn't see you be with her." you mumble. "i'm so sorry."

richie pulls you back gently at your words, his eyes wide and wondering as you look at each other. "what?" he asks so innocently, his eyelashes wet and dark and his lips parted. 

you can count the freckles on his nose and cheeks, you're so close. you can feel his shuddering breath against your face as he huffs in a breath. your hands hold onto his shoulders and you decide to fuck it, you just have to tell him how sorry you are, to explain yourself.

"richie, i'm in love with you. and - and when you and her got together, it hurt so much, and i didn't want to deal with the fact that i couldn't have you, so i just ignored you. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry." you say it quickly and in one breath, looking down at your shoes and how they point straight towards his.

"you're in... love with me?" he says weakly, sounding hopeful as you finally look back into his eyes guiltily. 

you laugh wetly, "of course i am, richie. how could i not fall head over heels for everything about you?"

he tears up again at your words, but this time it's accompanied by a beautiful smile and a light, wet laugh. he shakes his head, his arms circling your waist tighter as he presses his forehead against yours. your butterflies tickle your stomach at your proximity.

"fuck, y/n. i can't believe i spend my time trying to get my mind off you." he says and your breath hitches a bit. "do you have any idea how long i've been in love with you?" he asks quietly, and you let out another small laugh out of shock, but it's wet and gleeful.

"i'm sorry." you whisper, your finger curling around a strand of the dark hair on his head. he shakes his head, your noses rubbing slightly. "it's okay, y/n. i love you so much. please let me forgive you." he says, pulling a smile out of you that you don't think anybody else ever could. you nod shortly, looking into his eyes as one last tear falls. 

he kisses you tenderly then, taking your breath away.

richie fills up your every sense as he clings to you desperately, his lips salty from your combined tears and his arms strong. his tongue is gentle as it runs along your lips and enters your parted mouth, one of his hands sliding up to tilt your head up towards him. you're breathless because of him for the millionth time in your life and you decide kissing richie is the only thing you want to do forever. 

you pull away slowly, and as you lean back he presses a chaste second kiss to your lips, causing you to grin. 

you barely make eye contact as you pull apart and then you greedily pull him back to you, his lips finding yours yet again with a sweet, loving laugh.

"i love you too, rich." you mumble against his lips. he sighs almost dreamily as you pull back, biting your lip and laughing when he opens the passenger door, gesturing to it with a shy grin.

"now can i please buy you a burger?" he asks, almost bashfully, and your heart does somersaults. you nod and kiss him again, his hand falling to the small of your back, palm wide and fingers lower than you'd expected. he pulls away and his grin is loving, his eyes hooded in pride as you caress his cheek softly before you slide into the car seat.

he holds your hand the whole night and refuses to let go until you slip through your front door at near midnight, blushes on both of your cheeks and lips kiss-bruised.

the butterflies you feel as you fall asleep with a grin on your face are the exact same ones richie feels as his head finally hits the pillow, a giddy smile on his own face as he smiles to himself in the dark halfway across town.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx@brxken-heartsclub @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier   @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s  @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters

#richie tozier x reader #requests #losers x reader #losers club x reader #bill denbrough x reader #mike hanlon x reader #ben hanscom x reader #beverly marsh x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #stanley uris x reader