#that have like some rly good paragraphs of the story

[lostfracturess]

Heyyy!!!

Your fics are seriously AMAZING so I wanted to ask you for some advice!!

Do you have any tips for getting into writing fanfics?

I desperately want to but I have no idea where to start and I don’t feel like my writing is that good 😭

Also, thanks sm for writing your fics they are always so entertaining and I rly enjoy reading them ❤️

hi dear! thank you for your sweet message! ♡

my best advice for getting into writing is just to start writing. sounds rather simple, but you'll learn the most by just doing it. and don't be afraid to just start; you already have everything you need—motivation and some device to write on!

also don't be afraid that the first story will probably not be your best, but let's be honest—everyone's first writing is rather crappy, mine included!

but you'll see you'll improve from story to story and learn while writing what works for you and what does not. i started writing over 10 years ago and write nowadays basically every day for university and work. but writing longer fan fictions is also new to me!

also, you don't have to write a 100k fanfic at first. start slow with one-shots or with certain scenes you have in mind or just a dialogue and then go from there and build a story around :)

i also do this, when i have a writers block or don't know where to start. i just start somewhere and then build around it. you don't have to start with the first scene or sentences.

following a few things i try to follow, but i fail to incorporate this as well. maybe this works for you as well, but don't be pressured to follow those:

show, don't tell: use descriptive language to show characters' emotions and reactions, rather than telling the reader how they feel. that's really something that you learn over time and i also have still a hart time to do this consistently. furthermore i try to also incorporate this in the literal way i write. for example, when the mc is supposed to be confused, i write rather short, ragged sentences to not only convey the feelings but also in the way the sentence is structured, if that makes sense.

structure: short sentences > long sentences; short paragraphs for easier reading but also reading flow, especially when it's an action scene. there, i try to write very short main sentences and short paragraphs to keep the pace up.

dialogue: use dialogue to reveal character traits, conflicts, and plot details. i think it's more interesting to the reader that way instead of writing it in a narrative.

pacing I: maybe it's just me, but i'd rather have a lot happening than a lot of introspective description. so i try to give as much description of the scene as necessary for the reader to get the idea but then move right into the scene with dialogue to make it interesting, or start with dialogue right away and then piece by piece incorporate descriptive narrative. but other authors really like writing descriptive narrative, so just try what works for you!

pacing II: this may be due to my academic writing background, but you don't actually need so many words. it's much more difficult to accurately convey the same feelings in one sentence than if you write ten somewhat blurry sentences to convey the same feeling. try to keep it short and pronounced. i normally delete around 10–20% of my writing while proofreading again to make it more compact.

and also, don't forget to have fun while writing! write what you like and don't let yourself be dragged down if someone doesn't like your writing. you don't have to be liked by everyone :)

i hope this will help you a bit! also, would love to read your first writing! sending you love & have a great day or night ♡

#inbox

[saetoru]

how are u so good at writing . reveal ur secrets pls . but seriously, what advice would u give ??

HAGDFKJSHDF this is so kind :( to be rly honest, i personally don't have the best relationship with my own writing (as a lot of writers in all realness) so i cant say im rly confident in any advice 😭 but idk hopefully these might help u improve at least—which is always the main goal anyway

i have some advice on writing fics here

and i have advice on writing smut here if u write nsfw

and some more below the cut:

over all i would say that reading all types of media can really help you find a voice in writing—poetry can help you make better metaphors and have a more "deep" / "meaningful" writing voice, reading novels can help you develop an ability to tell stories and build a detailed world, etc. but yeah u can read fanfic, articles, journals, poems, books, wtv u read rly can help u pick up not just ways to develop writing voices, but also you can just learn about the world u know ?? i been reading a few articles about the royal family in the news and its taught a lot about how the inner works of royalty is set up—things that u don't rly take the time to care to know, but in my head as i was reading it i was like omg if i ever wrote a royal au this would be so useful 💀 so yeah, very basic tip, but reading is always number one advice. and again, dont limit urself to one type of writing !! writing is so vast, u can pick up something from any genre of it

also have a certain position / place / set up when u write. i know it sounds kind of dumb at first like okay whats the difference between if i write at my desk vs at my couch but its big !! for me at least. i find that if i try to write anywhere else besides by desk im just more easily distracted and then it cuts my train of thought and my sentences come out choppy and then my flow is ruined. theres actually a big difference in my writing based on location. and having a playlist helps !! whether its of songs with lyrics that inspire you (such as sad songs for angst, romantic ones for something more intimate, etc.) or just plain classical music. classical music has been a game changer for me. (don't ask me for recs i couldn't name a single song or artist if u held a gun to my head LMAONSDFG i just search random spotify playlists)

as far as writing goes, i think its important to start writing when u have a vague ending in mind—you don't always have to have the middle parts figured out, but having an ending can help guide u as u write and pick up momentum and figure out more things to say what the middle part will be to get u to that ending. i almost never write anything without an ending in mind. sometimes its one line and sometimes its an idea / concept of an event that will happen. but yeah an ending can rly help u figure out how to structure a fic !!

figuring out if ur stronger in dialogue vs the commentary portion of writing (for lack of better words LMAO but yall know what i mean—i hope) can also help u !! i think im a bit more dialogue suited as a writer, so a lot of the things i wanna convey, like a character's feelings and thoughts, are shown thru dialogue more often. if u focus more on what ur good at, the other things will kind of come on their own so u can continue—like when i say something thru dialogue that needs some context, the next paragraph might be some background on the character that explains it. which is just basic writing i know skjdhfjgdf but sometimes i just write out like a full convo of dialogue nonstop and go back and actually add the "meat" in between to it afterward. and that's bc the dialogue comes easy to me u know ?? and the commentary / story building in between doesn't, so focusing on one forces me to have to incorporate the other and by then i've somewhat figured out what to write by then. << this method can also rly help u improve ur dialogue too tho if u struggle on that bc seeing a convo just non stop without any background info in between to break it can give u an idea of how it sounds and what the dynamic between two characters is.

also to help with dialogue u can have a convo with yourself out loud 😭 i know that sounds dumb and weird BUT TRUST ME IT RLY HELPS KSHDGDF SOBSOB sometimes u just gotta talk to urself to have a convo flow !! and that way u can also really hear the words and know if they're a bit cheesy or cringe (we have all wrote a cringey dialogue here and there, no shame in it LMAO) but yeah 😭 talking to urself helps

i always suggest breaking things up into scenes that build into a plot. if ur having issues connecting parts of a story, just break it up into scenes. like my shin fic, if u read it (u don't have to for the example dw) but it was like literally like this in my drafts: shin and reader in shop, shin gets upset. shin and reader at home, slight confrontation / sex. shin + waka convo. shin hospital. KJASHGEHF (this sounds so dumb out of context LMAO) but yeah if u do that and then individually write those scenes out, its rly not much different than like maybe writing a drabble, which is far more manageable. and then u can connect them, and boom u have a full length fic !! but yeah that's something that helps me since im still developing my skills to write longer works

also rly discussing characters with friends, reading up on their information, and staying open to discussions that analyze characters is rly important !! we all have our own takes of a character so its okay if they're not always aligning with urs, but sometimes they can help u rly figure out a character and what u feel is their back story and the focal point of who they are—and the more u understand a character, the more describing them and portraying them will be easier. and trust me when u rly feel like u understand a character, the words don't stop, either when ur giving them dialogue or when ur just giving extra back story / commentary.

so yeah that was a bit rambly skhsd im rly sorry about that but i hope that helps a bit !! tysm for the kind ask and it rly did mean a lot to me <3 good luck on ur writing !!

#♡ — one new notification !! #♡ — unknown number. #tumblr tips

[bigstupiddummie]

making a post in the tags to “call out” a person is so dumb and childish and stupid, so i won’t put this in there. however, the admin of @wavehq is full lying on my name these days even though i haven’t talked to them or anyone else involved in there in like 6mos. and i rly want them to stop.

i don’t have my old discord account w ss. if anyone else has ss with me in them, u can add them to this post idc how ugly it makes me look. i talked a LOT of shit ( and pertaining to this story, about sel esp ) and called ppl some nasty names and any ss will incriminate me of that. so me talking shit isn’t a ‘gotcha’ anymore. i talked shit and called sel names, as well as k, and i know sel called me names, and im sure everyone else did too. whatevs.

yk what i never did ? i never made a “manifesto” about my ex friend, or priv-retweeted their personal ooc twitter account to mock them. i never helped create and work on an rpt blog, then went and consoled the person being mentioned in nasty messages in the blog on some “oh im so sorry this is happening to you ˙◠˙” shit when it was them the whole time. the worst i did was “fuck her, he’s a cunt, fuck them”, but dream, you lied to me a Lot!

and you’re lying in defending yourself by saying i “heavily hate” sid or anyone. i never have, never did, never will. the last thing i said to sid in like July was “hey, heres my ooc tiktok, im deleting discord. if i never hear from you again, take care.” and then i left rp and the rpc entirely. haven’t talked to or even perceived any of you in months.

you want to believe i’m “bringing this up now” to start stuff or something, but what stakes do i have in any of this? you and yours drove me out of the hobby i’ve loved since i was 12, used an rpt blog to force me to defend myself against your ugly claims at a time you Knew well and good i was absent and dealing with a family death ( and then came in my dms to comfort me ??? you and k both. ) . i lost all of my best friends of several years. trust me, i want no part of the rpc anymore. i don’t want back in. i don’t want to engage. this is a nothing tumblr account that ill never use again. consider, instead, that another person close to the situation and i shared similar experiences and realized there were too many untruths and inconsistencies to let it rest, rather than just ‘starting stuff’ to start stuff.

“sid says steph crops screenshots to make them look incriminating” aye , but i definitely gave my entire discord login out, more than once, and encouraged my friend at the time to go ahead and look for themselves ( they declined at the time. i can still give the login i really do not care. though idk if the login will work anymore bc the accounts been deactivated for, uh, 6 months.) i cropped ss where earthp members were telling me how K is making them uncomfortable and how they were worried lenny was being dragged around by K, that i did do. and i STILL let k know that that’s what they were saying. i can’t stress enough ive got Nothing here that im fighting for i just think its ugly to lie for so long to everyone

“steph heavily hates sid” i do not. note the last thing i said to sid, up there ^. we did follow each other on tiktok then, and then we didn’t speak for 6 months. as of this morning, we are no longer tiktok mutuals - so it goes. sid never owed me anything. i don’t hate them. they know ( and yk what, so do my irl work managers!!! bc this shit affected my actual real mental health!!! ) that the day things went down, i left work early sobbing full blown emotional episode, writing paragraphs in desperation, to the point of overwhelming them and myself. i loved them dearly, called them my ‘spouse’ and best friend everyday, etc. though i don’t know now if they knew more about you than they let on. anyway……. please don’t just be declaring shit about me like it’s fact ?? i don’t hate anyone. not even you dream! just stop lyinggggg i hate that

ye all made me feel like i was crazy and losing myself in my own paranoia omg??? and ye were in your private chats afterward going “well deserved!!!” who even are you what did i do to you omgggg are we not in our late 20s with lives and careers ?????

if this is all bc of heddie/reddie and avengefm ? its ships dude it’s dolls it’s not real and to commit so much energy and emotion to lying to protect ur ships/rps is troubling at best. and if its not about heddie/reddie, then i haven’t a NOTION bc you and i, even when we were friendly w each other, were not close enough to create a bond to break??? i didnt do anything to you but welcome you into my writing spaces and engage in yours to the best of my ability. i was transparent with you when my activity struggled or i needed a break for mental health reasons… but what you had done with your friends is what ruined my mental health ?… go figure ….

i know who was behind that blog because they came clean and told me your connection to it as well. i know sel said nasty things about me too - we’re human and humans love talking shit. but no one else ever took it as far as you did, dream.

i don’t want anything from you! just stop lying on my name i don’t “heavily hate” anyone. outside of my shit talking from 6mos ago, i haven’t said a word against anyone but yourself; i’ve called you a liar, here in this post, because that is what i believe you are.

nobody in my entire life brings up what happened in everwell more than you and k. i owned up to every part i had ( whether directly or by my unavailability, all of it ), i deplatformed and cut out my two best friends ( people i had had in my HOME and had met IRL they were real people to me!!!!! ) and apologized personally to everyone affected, while picking out a funeral outfit and consoling my crying family. these are all my cards on table. you don’t have to respond either. just omg quit lying about me and the way i feel and what my intentions are - if a mf wants to know what im thinking and feeling, they can just Ask me.

and k i don’t want anything from you either! your names in this post because you were involved, and you know your involvement with that blog and how you also came to console me after. outside of that, i do not think of you and do not care what you think of me.

sid, i don’t want anything from u all either and i meant it when i said if i never hear from you again, take care bc i did care for u lots and also invited you into my home bc you were a real person to me. just know for a fact that anything dream says i’m saying about you or feeling toward you is just pulled out of thin air for whatever reason.

i always thought ye all were great writers!!! and so did snags and lex, way back when it was about writing for the love of writing. i would say all the time “omg dream is so funny” “omg k is cracking me up”, and they’d agree. hell if they’re at all in the rpc anymore and see this - hey guys! sorry shit got so ugly. you’ll never guess who was behind it.

i left the rpc and got mental help. i hope ye can get some help too.

* this is dream bringing sel into the Issues and tying her directly to k, btw. you keep saying you didn’t bring sel into the k stuff, but “they’re besties” “she and sel” “they want peach to drop eddie so sel can pick up eddie” this is where we’re getting that from, bc you keep saying you only referenced sel’s activity and didn’t connect her to k at all. i cropped out sids response. i can add it if need be but it’s just sid believing you.

this is where i’m pulling what im referencing in this post from. the second half is censored bc it doesn’t have to do with me.

this is me texting my irl work manager on the day sid and i last spoke. i was distraught and emotional and crying but ok yeah i “heavily hate” sid when the way everything went down broke me to bits OKAYYY

the censored names are the names of my irl managers like it was So Serious so don’t try putting words in my mouth about sid.

[alkhale]

ALK !!! KAPFM CHP 9 BLEW MY MIND. SHSHSHSHHS SORRY THIS WILL BE LONG BC !!! UUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!

When okkotsu said “Even if you cannot be separate, you have to imagine it so.” , “In this manner, you can easily remember…That you are still two.”

I felt like that sentence felt familiar before i realized that you titled chp 4 by “i want my life in two” AND somehow the cycle of that two different lives are oddly similar ?? Like how mirai found someone that she likes (chi & okkotsu) ; that someone was taken away (the kamo clan & the villagers) ; she went on a rampage (trashing around the small shed & the village massacre)

chp 4 ends with = (A finger stuck itself into the series of tapes, starting to wind it back.) and as the summary for chp 7 goes : The stories that unfolded each time, however, as of late, did tend to be quite a bit different. Perhaps because of one character that did not quite belong with the rest. (1) Gojou Satoru.

YOU YOU YOU MIND BLOWER AHHHHHHH. I love love how you do this thing with naming the chapters that follows the theme of the story u wrote, it may seem like a minor detail but i rlly rlly love it omfg like

atcit : the mc’s rule of threes

memos : hoku as a protagonist has a goal to paint the best story and if u combine the title of the current chapters together and it can already form a prologue of a story which coincides that hoku just joined the strawhats and is painting for the strawhats’ journey

kapfm : mirai is essentially stuck in a loop/ limbo of a monotonous life (even tho it involves more than plenty of adrenaline for sorcerers & non sorcerers) and theyre not even bothered to think much of it unless its rly rly important for the future/ whatever that is in scope in their curse technique and someone new in their latest lifetime who seems like he wont ever fit in her standard script of life. and not only that but, some chapters may seemed like it mirrored the other but its not !!! like one of those games of finding the abnomalies in 2 similar pictures and its bc of that one ridiculous op guy 😭

hmmmmmm how should i put it, ik that its 2 entirely different series and themes but mirai and hoku is actually a good foil for each other SHJSJSJS dunno if anyone else noticed and may sent sth about them both in an ask

Like, mirai’s ability to see the future and is convinced that it is set and even if it changed it wont necessarily be a good thing for everyone involved; and it wont be an exeption to the strongest sorceror in the new era vs hoku’s plan to draw the best story in a world and the boy who she is convinced could overcome his predecessor (i.e gold roger) but that conviction itself it sth that has been set from the very beginning bc luffy is the protagonist and she thought of herself as a bystander and wont make sth as small as ripple

i probably didnt explain any of my thought even tho i just wrote a paragraph HSHSHSJSH IM SORRY BUT TLDR-ing MY THOUGHTS ABT THEM THIS WAY = once u open a book, the stage and ending has been set for the characters, theyre essentially “doomed” to that ending; no matter how much you flip the coin it will always land on tails/ heads and it will always be one of them and never be other but for the one who flip the coin, they may ruled out themselves out of the possibility that they’re (one of) the anomaly and could change sth around them

I just, love all ur stories & ur ocs, and i love u too🥹

anon, i just want you to know that you've absolutely made my night, like you have literally no idea

work and everything else have all melted away after reading this and the spews of thoughts/theories/connections, it always makes me so, SO HAPPY when you guys do stuff like this because i put those lil things for my own love and its just ;-; really, really rewarding to know you all enjoy them too

THANK YOU FOR NOTICING ALL THE LITTLE CONNECTING THREADS, i also love naming chapters with a little extra thought and trying to follow the chosen lyrics for that moment in KAPFM's case

sometimes they hint stuff ;)

GOJOU BEING THE ABNORMALITY IN TWO PICS IM CRYING, yes, because he is exactly that and if only mirai could see the headache he will become :')

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO MORE

#KAPFM #gojou satoru #mirai #gojou satoru x oc

[whumpitisthen]

Hi buddy! Its Athena, I'm sending this out to all my mutuals - what got you into writing, what inspires you, who inspires you and what music inspires you to write? what do you love about writing?

What got me into writing was other's work! My first time having a whole community's worth of people writing about pretty boy torture and such and i just had to take part!

Music inspires me a lot, honestly, most of my liked songs are either just cool songs or have lyrics that are whumpy. I was gonna put a playlist here but i forgot to and im lazy so ill just write down some of my favourites

Mania - The Blake Robinson Synthetic Orchestra (listen to this one its gonna be my favourite song forever its so good its so whumpy)

Prey - Aeon Smiles (stalker whumper vibes)

Up In The Sky - Jonny T (i just rly like this song in general but also it gives me whumpee finally snapped and now tries to come to terms with that feelings which is not even something im too into but this is good stuff whumpee turned whumper perhaps)

Teeth - Aviators (vampire whumper....... perhaps all the vampire loving mutuals should listen to this 👀)

Misaligned - Gracchus (this one is vague but i can make anything whumpy also this song is so good this should be the other one you listen to if none of the others)

As you can see my taste in music is "whumpy and/or a good song :)" no favourite genre no consistent mood full chaos

I will one day share a whole playlist i promise my taste in music is fantastic and my collection of whumpy songs is so massive if someone were to look into my liked songs it would be hard to find many that have lyrics that aren't whumpy at all

Who inspires me? Mmm blorbos... The meow meows.... The wet cats...... Sometimes friends..... The little faceless people in my head without names or stories....... Also mutuals who do big long stories and update it at least semi-frequently literally how are you doing that i write like two paragraphs on a good day

What i love about writing is that anyone can do it. You could argue the same for any other medium, but the difference to me between art and writing for example is that you can conceive almost exactly whatever you want in writing, while drawing exactly what you mean takes a LOT of practice. Doesn't mean you shouldn't even try drawing, or that writing takes no practice or talent whatsoever, but i do enjoy the aspect of writing where no matter what, if you write something, there are going to be people who will read it and will forever remember the image you have created in their brain for them. I for example have a few fanfic scenes and worlds in my head that i still remember vividly despite having read it like eight years or so ago. Maybe its my aphantasia, but that doesn't happen much with art, especially if its not the greatest most incredible professional masterpiece ive ever seen

#ask #fictionalbullshitter #thank you for the ask! #if anyone ever needs some whumpy song recs ..... #hit me up ..... #i can provide ..........

[volfoss]

hi teehee kof rant (mai centric bc i have a problem etc) below the cut and all that

burden of being a mai fan is having to see a million horrible pieces of content in each kof game (and fatal fury too my god) but it genuinely drives me insane how they write her in a lot of the games. like its 50% of the woah shes a conventionally attractive woman and thats all the character development and depth shes given. Any other time its just maybe 45% "kyaa andy" and 5% lets have her have a nice time w her team. now like. im biased due to hating andy (due to how he really treats her a lot of the time and just how her character is so so based around him instead of letting her be an actual character)

now i know that its like a part of her character that shes super in love w andy and SUPER feminine (other than the ending for fatal fury special where she remarks that she needs to be less masculine) but it really feels like SNK just poured all the budget and effort into seeing how sexy they could make her/the physics of her animation (again iykyk). esp considering her development section on the wiki (of heres who her boobs and ass are based off of, how when they introduced her ""swaying bosom", the developers were awestruck". like i understand fully that they are trying to yk. make her a sex symbol (which worked a little too well imo). it really bled into how a fair bit of fans treat her as just a hot body and never really consider her personality or literally anything other than how her clothes fit or how they can make her outfit worse.

but it really to me feels that the devs were like ok. 4 traits should work: mean to other women sometimes (mostly over appearance), SUPER irrational (which i dont believe but im also like. overthinking pro here, ill elaborate later if i remember), in LOVE with andy, and hot. occasionally they try and throw in a bimbo angle. i feel they really ignore a lot of things they COULD touch on (ie literally ANYTHING with her past, how she gets along w literally anyone on andys team outside of andy (we again. get tiny hints of it but rly not much), or literally ANYTHING outside of the few traits we very vaguely get.

so many of her endings are just either SO andy centric or just her getting drunk. and thats literally it. not even to get into the team stories which are normally a bit better (96's has made me INSANE for weeks tho) but esp 99, that was really disappointing. that one really felt like they were treating her as a footnote and butt of the joke (which happens a lot of people being like wow girl you are crazy about andy) but it feels like in some of the endings (2003 comes to mind, where you get a tiny hint of woah theyre putting in that she cares about her friends and then its like no lol actually its just all about andy)

again i understand how the way that she is written doesnt really allow for a really good read on her as a character (her personality section on the wiki is fucking abysmal. tldr of it is wow shes cheerful, 2 full paragraphs dedicated to how much she loves andy, shes a "traditional and ideal japanese beauty" and like. a tiny note on how she gets along w the womens team/terry and joe). but she really does have more than that of just genuinely being a very kind person and very goofy, as well as a very talented and dedicated person.

so what rly irks me (this is not number one but girls need to get their thoughts on her past out somehow and by god im doing it here) is how her past isnt really ever touched on except for tiny hints here and there. sure we get info on how her grandfather trained her and the tiniest inkling of stuff on her parents (that theyre dead) and how andy came to train with her grandfather when they were both pretty young. but they really dont ever elaborate on how her grandfather basically passing all of her training off to his friend (who is yk. a canonical creep and lecherous old man trope to a T) and training andy impacted her. we never learn how she handled her parents death. or even her grandparents death. or even the enormous weight of being the last shiranui ninja. its all focused on wow lol she fell in love w andy super early on and thats IT really. MI2 (pretty sure. might have been MI 1) does go into a tiny bit of detail on her grandfather training her to move silently and bribing her into that with anything she really ever wanted, and how that even impacted her with the beginning of MI2, where she uses training from her grandfather to throw the letter at Andy, catching him by surprise. but we really dont get a lot of introspection on that in really any of the mainline games (or manga that ive read, all of the ones ive read just have her plotlines be the same as the game (of half andy and half woah hot lady)

not to mention again in the 96 team stories, she mentions that after King says she also cannot participate in KOF, she says this:

^ which literally lines that drive me insane that they NEVER elaborate on. surely her childhood had to be lonely with her being an only child (presumably) and it not really mentioning any friends she has outside of the womens team and a TINY bit of terry and joe. which god. there could have been SO much potential with her and terrys relationship. we literally could have had besties but instead its normally used for a joke of wow mai is SO scary about andy oh nooo. and same w joe. i think tbh the fatal fury movie honestly nailed how i would have their relationship in an ideal world, with them just teasing each other and being a bit bitchy but in a fun friendship way yk?

in regards to the womens team i do normally enjoy how they handle the stuff with her and them, its VERY clear she cares about and loves yuri and king, and even chizuru (i hold the 96 ending SO close to my heart tbh) and just literally if they could pass the bechdel test for literally once in their life, it would be ideal.

mai just genuinely has a lot of potential in terms of writing and literally if u just go through her quotes its just really clear to see she doesnt get that potential ever explored (esp in some of the fatal fury stuff, where shes having to fend men off from touching her or hitting on her.)

tldr snk hire me i understand her etc

#twist rambles #i have to put my like 30 page analysis doc to use SOMEHOW and if its making angry tumblr posts then so be it

[n0ct0urn1quet]

wip ask game 1 2 5 6 9 14 20 26

1. what’s your longest wip right now? 

i dont know if this means longest as in like how many pages/words long or if this means longest as in the wip ive been working on for the longest amount of TIME but uhhh the the answer to the latter would be blazing sky (aka the first "book" in the series of Stories im writing which i finally made an arc title for, silence of the stars) which i created back in like 2017? 2018? and though ive rewritten it a handful of times thats the one ive been working on the most lately . the actual longest thing im working on (long as in lots of pages) isnt particularly blazing sky itself but is part of that whole Arc, the thing that im writing right now is cedarstar's whole death scene from mothwhiskers pov which from what i remember is like . 9 and a half pages long? yeah <3

2. what’s your shortest wip right now? 

again dont know if this means short as in how many pages/words or short as in the wip that ive been working on the Least but ig for the latter question the one thats been around much much shorter than blazing sky or anyting else is the stuff that im writing about berryclan/mintclan/shiveringclan/gustclan bc with that stuff i only created it within the past month or so so nothings rly come out of it yet. but as for shortest physical wip . i have no idea honestly KJDSJKLJKLG bc thers a thousand documents in google docs that are just like rly short 2 paragraph things that i juts wrote down bc i had those ideas in my mind n didnt know where to go with them so i just . plopped them down n didnt work on them after that JSLDJKG

5.  do you listen to music while writing or no? if yes, what’s your favorite kind of music to listen to? 

i try not to listen to music while writing bc my rbain focuses too much on the lyircs and The Music rahter than actually writing . i usually listen to random youtube videos for some kind of background noise that i can Easily tune out (usually i go fro longer 1-3 hour video essays that ive already watched before or something so i can just zone out while listening to them and dont have to focus on the Words, either that or i jst put on like. one of those "surviving 100 days in minecraft hardcore!!!!!" videos, which is weirdly what ive been listening to lately SKJDJKLLKG)

6. write 3 sentences of any wip you’d like, post it in the answer. 

Rosestar let out a wail and Specklestar looked as if she were about to vomit as blood began to pool out around Cedarstar’s head. Mothwhisker stared down at him in pure shock and horror, and behind him Darkfrost simply stared at Cedarstar with no expression on his face. Mothwhisker looked up at the sky and only then, after Cedarstar had been brutally murdered by not only another clan leader, but his own ex-mate and the mother of his son, did Starclan begin to cover the moon with dark gray clouds.

^ from thge cedarstars death thing. teehee!

9. what are you struggling with the most in finishing your current wip(s)? 

for a lot of the stuff i write i struggle with finding a clear ending or a good place to end things and i struggle writing stuff after i get to like. the climax of the chapter. like with cedarstar's death im struggling writing darkfrost's reaction and snowstar's reaction n everyone's reaction to his death and struggling to find a good place to End Things so its juts . in wip limbo rn KSJLDLJKLKG

14. what’s your favorite thing about writing? 

making my ocs go through horrible terrible trauma <33333 projecting my issues onto my sillly little guys <3333333 loooks at mistyleaf and meadowmoon specifically theyr'e the worst of the bunch <3333333333

(but fr i think my favorite thing about writing is writing like dialogue n stuff. im not good with being subtle when it comes to dialogue, like im very much. making characters be upfront and straightforward when they rly shouldnt be (such as i wanted to write a thing where mistyleaf and heatherheart are talking after darkwing's death and its from mistyleaf's pov n heatherheart is making it all about herself completely unintentionally and mistyleaf, now knowing she's being unintentional about her thoughts, blows up at her and is like "well he's MY brother he's MY family you aren't the ONLY one who's grieving" but im finding it hard to be. subtle ig? and having heatherheart not realize she was saying that stuff and upsetting mistyleaf while also making mistyleaf accidentally lash out thinking heatherheart was being genuine abt being all like "oh im sosad im sooooo sad that darkwing is dead he was MY mate and the father of MY kits im sooooooooo sad that hes dead" and not addressing mistyleaf's grief) but aside from that i do lke writing dialogue it is fun :])

20. how do you usually come up with story ideas? 

gonna be honest i have no fuckign idea someimtes shit just comes to me. like fuckinnnn owlstar's whole story about her being a young leader with a dead father and her not being able to live up to her clans' expectations of her and her clan not accepting her as a leader bc she's only like a year and a half moons old just like. completely came out of nowhere. with older oc's, specifically like mothheart and her kits, and shellstorm, they were created shortly after i read certain warriors books. shellstorm was created after i read crookedstar's promise and she was heavily, perhaps TOO heavily, inspired by crookedstar's story. mothheart and her kits were created shortly after i read moth flight's vision and also i was inspired by recently reading long shadows + sunrise where the secret of jay lion and holly being the kits of leaf and crow was revealed. with newer ocs though they just kinda. came out of nowhere.

ig though if i had to answer this, id say sometimes i just like. put myself in my characters shoes and look at things from their perspectives. and i go with stuff from there. like earlier today with the clangen stuff with copperleaf riverlight and clovershade, when i saw clovershade being Disappointed In Copperleaf and then saw copperleaf Spending A Lot Of Time With Riverlight i was like hmm. okay pretend im clovershade now. okay whats the first thing that comes to my mind for me (clovershade) to be mad at copperleaf. okay lets say he and i (clovershade) both had crushes on riverlight and when i (clovershade) died he became mates with her and used my death for her to feel sorry for him and become his mate. boom. story created <3

26. is there a wip you’d like to see recreated in a new medium (ie. movie, audio drama podcast, web series, animation, musical)? 

i would fucking LOVE to turn my stuff into like a comic or even an animated series (not like on tv series but like. an animated series put on yt or something) . but alas i wouldnt be good at updating a comic regularly and animating is sohard but . idk! for now it wil all stick to writing <3

[actuallyitsstar]

🫓 What is your most popular fic?

🥘 What category do most of your fics fall under?

🍛 Have any comments, tags or reactions to one of your fics every made you laugh or cry or both?

🍢 Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

🍣 What helps you focus or get in the mood to write?

🍥 What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

✨ send me an emoji and ask me about my fanfic! ✨

🫓 : what is your most popular fic?

this is most certainly time takes no prisoners (you'll see). very much hands down, very much no contest lol 😅

🥘: what category do most of your fics fall under?

found family lol. what can i say. something about it does in fact hit different for me. i always want more and the brainrot is never ending and it's arguably not the most popular fic genre, so when i run out of content in the fandom of choice atm, i start making my own lol

🍛: have any comments, tags or reactions to one of your fics every made you laugh or cry or both?

well, yes, for starters, several of yours!! 💗 like when someone leaves a nice/heartfelt and/or detailed comment on my silly little fics i am quite LITERALLY screaming crying (and only metaphorically throwing up) about it. that shit does in fact mean the most to me and i wouldn't push myself to actually try and do things i don't feel very good at if people did not seem to want me to do it, so when people feel Some Type of Way after reading something i wrote that is the ultimate goal. i wouldn't write stuff if i didn't want whoever's reading it to connect with and remember it, so i connect just as much back when they do!

🍢 : have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

thankfully i actually haven't yet!

🍣 : what helps you focus or get in the mood to write?

oof tbh i think me being ~in the mood to write~ is controlled by the whims of deities interested only in toying with me 😭😭 ive learned that even if i am not exactly in the mood i have to just Do it. and eventually i will either stop bc im like wow everything i am writing right now absolutely sucks! or i will get into it and figure out a whole bunch of shit and write 5k words. there is basically no in between lmao

🍥 : what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

this is also gonna have to be time takes no prisoners. it is kind of a big first fic for me- longest, first top gun fic, first fic to rly get comments or kudos, most chapters, fic i am the most proud of, first series based work, etc etc- and the story (though obviously not my own, as it IS just a retelling of largely canonical events i can't take any credit for) means the absolute world to me. it's probably going to wind up being my fanfic magnum opus lol. it is always gonna hold a special place in my heart. i just adore this fandom and these characters and i just akdhdjhfjfhf love everything about the whole mav-is-bradleys-dad shit and the by extension found-family-w-people-mav-knows shit. it is just major *chefs kiss* for me <3

if i needed to give a more creative answer in the pre ttnp timeline (bc that is how it feels sometimes lol. there is pre and post ttnp/top gun brainrot and nothing in between), i'd have probably said all this effort to make it look effortless, which was the first writing of any kind i had done since like 2018 or something idk. i wrote and posted it last year, not too long before i began to write ttnp (it was actually right before i saw tgm at all), and it's for the world's most obscure fandom and it's very very self indulgent and i rly did just write it for myself, there's like under 50 fics in that fandom and mine has less hits than that lol. but i was and am very proud of it! (tho w the hindsight of rereading i hate the formatting so much god learn to use paragraph breaks what is wrong with you aaaaaaa).

#tysm for the ask!!! <3<3 and so sorry for the delay in my answering it omg #star unasks #brambleberrycottage #star.txt

[bongkillua]

xander 7 tucker 4!! aaaand 19

XANDER: 7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDD okay so yeah xanders identity has changed a lot over the years.

this question is rly good bc there’s a rly big difference between “questioning” and “changing” . xander changes his identity a lot-he’s bigender but even beyond that he likes being what people want from him, whether that be in regards to his gender or her sexuality. but because he’s always changing he doesn’t question his true identity a lot. there’s only been like a few times where life events that have forced him to self reflect and change himself.

i just wrote and then deleted an entire paragraph because it gave away a ton about xanders backstory LOL but tldr 30-50 years before the wolfsbane narrative xander identities as a binary trans guy. he presents almost exclusively feminine but it’s all a performance due to [life circumstances]. his need to perform for survival caused him to completely lose touch with his own femininity which is why he identified that way. but then like [the horrors] happen and he has to completely rewrite himself to avoid the law and when he finally stumbled into some sort of security (with the help of a very very loving drag community and also tucker’s weird gender presentation), she actually starts to think about her own femininity again and how a performance can still be personal in a way? xanders whole story reflects my struggles with dissociation and identity and the resolution is accepting that he can inhabit multiple different roles/personalities/lives and for all of them to be genuine. idk. i could say a lot more but i don’t want to completely spoil everything lol!

TUCKER: 4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?

umm ok so tucker’s OLD environment was very unaccepting both of his queerness and just of him as a person lol. werewolves are interesting critters though bc they naturally have an over abundance of testosterone so tucker like. passes before he comes out but his father is still very angry about the way he identifies. it makes for a rly strange social experience where he isn’t accepted but still, for the most part, looks the way he wants to? but yes tucker’s dad is a piece of shit it’s like the biggest conflict tucker faces in the pre-narrative. he escapes to jordan’s house a lot because jordan’s dad was RLY COOL and even after he dies jordan’s mom kinda sucks but she’s like fine with the whole queer thing.

umm CURRENTLY tucker’s environment is a LOT better obviously. like better than he is lol. tucker struggles with internalized shit for a lot of the early narrative and when ur only friend is xander it tends to come out a lot lol. but one of the first things xander does for tucker is just completely pay for his top surgery because he’s hiring tucker to be a performer and tuckers a lot better of a performer when his body doesn’t make him want to kill himself all the time.

from there tucker still has a lot of repression to work through (a lot of it moreso to do with being a werewolf but i explain why that’s the same as internalized queerphobia below lol) and xander forces him to get into drag to help learn to accept himself. from there it’s pretty smooth sailing in the queerness boat and post-narrative is just about their queer liberated future where tucker gets to just ride the ebbs and flows of his identity and doesn’t have to like. fucking worry about it. most conflict he has with his queerness at that point is deciding what kind of bottom surgery he wants. lol.

19. Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story?

this is actually really interesting. i tend to try and stay period-accurate but i usually don’t make homo/transphobia the, like, biggest conflict in the story. I also often prefer metaphors for queerphobia over actual homo/transphobia because i think it’s more productive to discuss how a fear of queerness impacts people as opposed to just depicting, like, surface level hate crimes.

for example: tuckers dad is extremely hostile towards tuckers gender and sexuality. like, blatantly. but the more prevalent conflict between them is tucker’s dad’s anger over not being able to control tucker, and to form tucker into the perfect werewolf. this conflict would still exist even if tucker wasn’t queer, and would still probably come across as queerphobia (“don’t act like that or people will think you’re gay!”). when tucker finally leaves that environment he struggles to accept his identity as a werewolf and his ability to love others but again those struggles reflect and include his actual queerness (how he feels about xander, how he feels about jordan. Weird Body Stuff that just makes him feel Bad). the way that discrimination against monsters is portrayed and the way that monsters deal with their own identities often mimics queerphobia, and then is made deeper by the actual inclusion of queer characters. hopefully that makes sense.

all of my other stories are a lot less fleshed out than wolfsbane but still follow a similar vein of thinking. i guess my fantasy stuff doesn’t have as much of the blatant queerphobia; since there’s no way to be “period accurate” it doesn’t really make sense to make queerphobia exist in the same ways. but the conflict still arises from people trying to instill a certain set of beliefs or norms into a group and that ultimately leading to a worse world, which is like. a queer line of thinking among many other things.

#wolfsbane #tucker #xander #blurry answers #anoff #mine #uhhhh no i didn’t watch hxh before i wrote wolfsbane and that’s not a joke re: tuckers relationship with his dad #there’s so much more i could say aaaaAaaaaAAAAAAA

[icharchivist]

andddd I’m back! finished the whole thing. it was very good for sure. felt much quicker mostly bc I was not like. dealing with the culmination of probably over a year of hedging all my bets on hisoka’s identity. since I finished the whole thing I’ll be like. loosely chronological but also jump around as I please lol. considering im six paragraphs deep into a fic i definitely did have some feelings abt this.

anyways. very glad I paused where I did bc the moment I heard some random stranger picking on someone and going pretty boy my reaction went like this:

me: hm… pretty boy? that’s not yuki, is it? he would kill them already.. oh it’s azami!!! Oh my god it’s azami!! ah well then these guys are also dead. isn’t he a yakuza child.

and then azami beat them up :) love that kumon immediately thinks he is the coolest… it’s the juza-fan instinct. also love how when sakyo heard abt a middle schooler beating ppl up he’s immediately like ah fuck it’s the yakuza brat isn’t it. I will take this space to put in all of my azami thoughts before I resume. I was so surprised he showed up this early! then again I was a bit confused bc summer and autumn did their road shows together, and I was like… huh, didn’t spring start with these road shows too… how is autumn gonna begin? but nope surprise!! azami gets integrated here instead. very cool and I thought he and kumon becoming friends was done really naturally? like man who wouldn’t like it if someone was all starry eyed about you lol. especially since azami doesn’t seem. used to that level of appreciation. I, like azami, also thought that he and kumon were the same age lol. I did know azami did makeup but it was still so funny for him to shyly visit summer’s opening night backstage and then immediately be like oh u all look horrendous. let me fix this with the insane amt of makeup stuff I carry around. lovely. so very yuki-esque. also. wow, azami, how come you get to have *two* dads you’re beefing with! (sakyo and the boss) I think I am very sakyo-like tho bc when azami makes his phone calls I’m sitting there like ah… that kids not getting mixed up in a bad crowd, is he? he’s literal yakuza. kiri why are you like this. great voice acting on those calls also, it totally conveys the vibe of like angsty teen who chills out and is very casual around friends. I’m super interested as to who that person on the other end is, seeing as azami says he might reach that guys goal first after talking abt joining mankai… another actor / aspiring actor? haruto? misumis younger bro? who knows. only time will tell ig. was a bit sad abt the fact that azami and kumon didn’t have a cg—I think it would’ve been nice to have one when kumon collapsed into him, or a cg of juza and kumon where he’s picking him up… but there seems to only be 3 cgs per story for act 2. what a shame. well ig that’s what fanart is for lol—gotta brush up (pun intended) on my drawing skills! anyways I’m not super happy with azami’s dad lol. let him do makeup you clod. I always joke that I like characters who others are kind of homophobic to but it’s so true. it’s just actually a sign that they’ve got some Gender™ going on which I like. i hope he gets to play soccer with tasuku i think they'd have a great time actually.

moving back towards chronological events… kumon’s fancy gold keychain! love how muku immediately launches into an explanation abt it lol. “in exchange for making its wielded the strongest of all humans, it sucks their life force. it’s a cursed sword that can kill its owner if used too much!” I immediately read into this the moment muku explained it lol. like muku does not say it out loud and kumon is embarrassed about being a nerd but the moment this showed up i was like "oh. this is absolutely how kumon sees himself. all that pitching skill but theres a curse that prevents him from using it." and like. its never stated out loud during this episode but its absolutely true to me. the scene rly made me think like ah. kumons both naturally funny and adorable? like the noises he makes when hes freaked out there r great. i think hes a guy that is naturally a Bit Much and that translated really well to natsugumi stages. i wanna tackle kumon's condition here since it was brought up... again i knew that he was dealing with some kind of recurring health problems before, but not the specifics! and so learning that he was essentially getting fevers caused by stress was very. too real tbh like i dont want to think abt getting panic attacks during my free time. but. no i thought it was really well handled. like how at first yamaguchi is like. hey. its not like u meant to get sick, right? but then as time goes on you can see how people begin to be like. oh he's doing this on purpose to fuck us over. or theyre like. is ur illness even real. maybe you're just faking because you're an asshole. this is weakling behavior. and you can see how deeply that affects kumon in the way that he talks to and judges himself. in the way that he's got this drive that feels downright desperate--like EVERYTHING is do or die for him, and that is, of course, only going to stress him out more. i really liked that even at the end, past the play's end, he was still running a fever--it was clear that the play had rly been taxing on him and he wasnt like, just magically cured! i thought azami's whole magic brush thing was so cute--like, it was so obvious how better it made kumon feel. to me it felt like the equivalent of like, taking the time to put on really nice clothing and cook something special after a major depressive episode--like, you give yourself a nice treat and it helps you believe in getting better. in the same way, i think azami's makeup worked sort of like a charm on him--it gave him the ability to look like death hadn't warmed over and that like. helped him relax because now the guy in front of the mirror looks like he has the exact amount of energy that he wants to have. but yeah. i thought it was handled really well and i loved how natsugumi were supportive of him. the way kumon wakes up and finds out his fever went down and then when hes going to announce it to misumi he finds everyone sleeping by him... so sweet. again natsugumi was just sooo dearly supportive of kumon and refused to let him back out, it was great. when they all hug him and comfort him on stage... that cg is sooo cute. oh the moment juza approached tsuzuru i immediately knew he was gonna give him kumons backstory lol. like tsuzuru knows people well but not That well. i thought it was nice how the way inoue is was exactly like how real life yamaguchi felt--that he wanted to support him as a battery. tsuzuru precog moment strikes again. also every time he's on that balcony writing i think abt mizuno.

well this is probably a good segue to talk abt the play so i shall do just that. this one is literally a direct parallel to real life events so theres not something like... super interesting i can give as commentary there, lol? but when i first watched the play i was like. tsuzuru... where's the "comedy" in sports comedy? watching the play in the actual chapters tho i definitely saw it--it relied a lot on the quirks of the individual players! and that scene at the end is quite fun ofc. was confused as to why it was like. love. but even the og play has hatsukoi in it. ig its abt them liking their manager? idk it felt a little confused lol. but it was a very nice play in some ways... i am like, a pretty huge sports manga fan ahah, so i definitely saw stuff that was similar. i think i've... read 4 different sports manga abt baseball? daiya no ace, oofuri, cross game, and the one no one will recognize, hybrid berry. kumon would lose it if he ever read oofuri, i think... the main pitcher is an anxious mess who selfishly refuses to give up the mound and he and the catcher have a really interesting relationship. the girl manager that is sad they cant play baseball is absolutely a thing in sports manga. yuki was so great as washiyama. like her pretending to be a guy and subbing in for the catcher worked great since yuki can like. convincingly play both a guy and a girl. also the way washiyama essentially blackmailed people into joining. iconic. the associated song was also cute! i thought it was interesting that tsuzuru wrote yuki's role in specific along with tenma and kumon--i guess it makes sense since that role requires someone to play a female role, but the quirks of the other baseball players--uehara as a shut in with surprising athleticism, ohno as a player scared of the ball, and enomoto as a guy always on his phone--mesh really well with the people who play them, dont they? like, i dont think kazunari or muku could pull off the same sense of athelticism. it was nice, anyways. plus if u reach u can parallel washiyama subbing in for inoue and it hurting her hands with yuki + natsugumi trying to leader substitute in tenma's absence.

worst transition ever? perhaps. but now i get to talk about that bit BECAUSE OH MY GOD, THAT BIT. like icha i'm dearly glad i was not given spoilers but on the other hand i feel like i needed a fucking warning. the PHONE CALL. the PHONE CALL!!!! im going to take a step back and comment on the whole situation actually since i didnt even address tenma's first audition. that whole bit was so good. the way tenma's like heh. i'll handle everything. and like as you pointed out, at that point kumon was gonna join akigumi if he passed the audition! but tenma was like. no hes Mine. i definitely figured the audition was gonna go bad--like, if tenma himself was like "i feel like im not there yet" about his own acting? but the way it was executed was so lovely--i wanted to be like "ah, tenma's come really far, hasn't he?" but i think tenma has always been serious about this part of acting--didn't he join summer troupe in order to challenge himself because he felt like he was deficient? so i actually had to reexamine like. why did i assume tenma would be hugely emotional about missing the role. probably because izumi worried about it? also bc i kept recognizing when they were saying "chance" and since kumon just had a stressful audition chance i was worried tenma was gonna feel a similar pressure and cave. but nah. as strange as it might seem, this was kind of perfectly in character for him, i think... he didn't get the role, and he saw someone absolutely outperform him during auditions, and respected that. if there's one thing tenma's learned from summer troupe it's to acknowledge other people and recognize their strengths. so this was a nice extension of that. so all he does is chill in the theater at midnight and relfect a little on his own performance. it was mature of him. i felt like i could see him blooming. as much as i like to make fun of tenma he's been an actor for quite some time--i bet mankai is one of the places he really gets to act like a kid, yknow? i thought it was nice how suprised everyone in natsugumi was--even if they make fun of him, he sure is their leader who has some pretty great acting skills, huh... anyways. to then see him get an offer, turn it down to focus on the play (bc he loves natsugumi!) and then see yuki get fully outraged at him for doing so! that got me! the "when push comes to shove, you really ARE just a hack, huh?!" escalating into him yelling "we all want to support you, tenma!" like. how many times had yuki said tenma's name ever. also like. the way he indirectly says that he doesn't even mean it when he calls tenma a hack. anyways im glad they resolved it. not used to seeing yuki be so obviously distraught. the gifts were so good too. misumi giving tenma a triangle so he doesn’t. so he. “so you don’t get lonely like you usually do!” im going to wail. and then tenma going “I don’t get lonely” okay liar. but then when tenmas like oh jeez yuki another shopping list? and then receives a baseball keychain… if i was him i wouldve cried immediately. like wow. they rly adore each other and will never admit it ever.

and then seeing tenma in france! Almost getting lost! And carrying around the keychain… and saying “…take care of the troupe while I’m gone, yuki.” oh my god. like i genuinely lost it at this moment. tenma and yuki r roommates and they. They care abt each other. like there’s no explicit communication that tenma is putting his trust in yuki specifically but like. Of course its him. Hes the one that yelled at tenma to go in the first place. Id hedge my bets that natsugumi was planning on talking to tenma anyways (bc they rush in so quick when yuki and tenma start fighting) which if we take that to be true, yuki literally started picking a fight with tenma bc there was literally nothing else he could see himself doing at that moment. And the way that as they’re rotating leader by leader yuki is the one that’s like. Kind of nagging at them—pointing out that kazunari could be more decisive, and telling muku that he should probably give suggestions on fixing things rather than like just saying. “We have problems!” like. It is so deeply obvious to me how aware yuki is of tenma’s presence and how aware he is of him. Not being here. But then when tenma calls him! And yuki’s like. Teasing him being like is this a prank call? But he’s still in the practice room at 10pm, just chilling by himself because he’s thinking about what he can do. to quote from my notes during this scene: “it is genuinely so cute they call—AHHHHH A CG!!!!! A CG!!!!!!!” yeah i lost my fucking mind are u kidding me. of course i did. but yeah tenma checks in on the troupe through yuki and once yuki confirms that tenma’s doing okay, he’s like. we’re fine. focus on your work. and then he says international calls are expensive and hangs right the fuck up. like. if yuki wasn’t feeling guilty abt not having seen any improvements on the play u know he and tenma would chat for longer and yuki would antagonize him into paying his phone bill or something. but yeah the just like. the dynamic here is so good. and once he runs into kumon and figures out what he’s gonna do its so good! I felt like. idk. yuki rly pulled through for this one and it was nice to see tenma come back, pleased as punch, and tell natsugumi they did well. It was rly a breath of relief like ah. the leader approves! and it felt like such a success, that yuki and natsugumi were able to handle it. Idk why the phone call got me so bad. I mean i do know its like. two of my favorite characters but. it was just a kind of very understated moment and like this whole sequence is… what? four chapters? it’s not a long part in the whole episode but it just absolutely got me. its just such like a quiet, kinda subtle moment with a lot of depth. Seeing them call each other from different parts of the world. the way they’re thinking about each other and caring for each other. the way you can see them instinctually trust each other after being at each other's throats at first and bickering all the time even now. Yeah.

speaking of shorter parts i loved kazunari’s little side thing! with him realizing that he sorta wants to do a bunch of stuff. i thought the ultra multi creator / UMVC thing was so funny. but it was real lovely to hear just a very normal parent that obviously adored kazunari exactly as he was. this was also how i first learned kazunari was a traditional japanese painting major. I genuinely had no idea. i do think its funny that his lil sis in a huge tenma fan. i think ive mentioned this before but there is a like noticeable increase in quality of the a3 posters as time goes on which i think is really cool. but wow tenma telling kazunari he has like only shallow friendships is truly so. I love that it stuck with kazunari this long but also tenma would be distraught that he remembered.

okay now time for all of the miscellaneous stuff i forgot to talk abt!

azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him. I know he and sakyo r gonna be so fun… sakyo wondering what happened bc azami used to adoringly follow him around was so absolutely real. like oh ur his dad already i see. I also think kumon’s relationship with muku and juza r so interesting… muku knows some stuff, but not everying about kumon. and though kumon so obviously adores his big brother and juza has helped him before, the actual talking they do seems like not much. which felt kinda realistic.azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him and i like it. i’m so excited abt his dynamic with sakyo seeing as he used to be rly attached… sakyo and his bos should square off for custody i think it’d be funny. i think its rly funny that yuki refused to play baseball bc he was acting as the manager. the manager plays baseball in one of the scenes its like the whole point. loved the kumon pitching cg. oh tenma was so good during that street act they did tho like. the way his va played that… u can hear him loudly announcing the show and stuff and then his voice immediately drops to this soft whisper to ask if kumons ok. so good. again i rly liked azami and kumon’s relationship… the fact that azami was just gonna fight yamaguchi unprompted was so good? but the way kumon is specifically like. dont injure his arms he needs them for baseball rly shows like. just how much kumon treasures the sport i think. very interested in who would azami not want to see at his worst… could be a throwaway convo lol. but i liked that azami walked him home and stuff. muku pestering yamaguchi into taking his ticket was so. wow. he’s rly gotten brave, hasn’t he? i thought juza and muku were so interesting in how they supported kumon during this bc like. they were both obviously supportive but like didnt solve everything? Which was cool bc they were still good siblings to kumon but kumon’s issues still felt like. understandable and stuff. like juza being harsh in the beginning re: kumon joining made total sense even tho like. clearly it ended up being good for him. gosh when juza and muku tell tenma and izumi everything it is so good to see tenma be like. well. its alright u kept stuff from me. kumon is fully part of natsugumi so we’ll take care of him. i just like seeing him be capable and he was so capable lol. also banri offering to be an understudy instead of juza! very sweet. love that he can only offer by antaognizing juza abt his acting skills. also love banri saying yuki will thrash juza if he acts bad specifically… bc banri and yuki r. friends… i also like that this in specific seems to give juza pause. my “juza is frightened by this middle schooler” hc seems legit. oh and i laughed when juza was like. well we gotta be baseball accurate so i’ll bring the clippers. what is up with hyodos and banris hair for real. hm. i also like how u can see the bookcase in kumon and misumis room has noticeably changed—feels like not just misumi lives there, now.

oh and the cute girls skit. best thing ever. every time they did it, i laughed. so i absolutely get why it cheered kumon up. again summer troupe is clearly so good at this. they should do a play. This had more romcom energy then the baseball play they actually performed. like kumon blushing. into mukumi announcing u look like a dog I used to have!! unmatched. and ofc theres juko. cmon… take one step closer for juza in a dress…

I also loved everyone telling kumon abt the troubles they had. like tenma had to be like. I look very capable now but i actually tanked our first play lmao. also i had trauma abt stage performance. also idk if it was intentional but i love how the dialogue when theyre discussing sardine search is like.

kumon: the cat costumes?

tenma: anyways, the third play—

i think the last thing to discuss is the adlibs probably? the moment he was like concerned abt it i out loud went “fuck the fans” so that shows my position lol. but that for sure is summer troupe’s charm. I liked that in the end kumon’s adlib was just like? it was good. nicely in character. good response to. hang on washimiyas bf is MARRIED? but its not like he totally introduced a wild new direction or anything—the guy who started this was clearly tenma’s adlib as inoue. so i rly liked that it was like. competent but not amazing bc like… i think that would kind of reinforce kumon’s idea that he needs to “measure up” and be perfect. but here he’s just like. good at being part of natsugumi. and that’s all they need! i also know kumon originally wanted to join akigumi and i assume that’s bc he loves juza but i also wonder if some of it is bc akigumi is so clearly and obviously Strong. well. anyways for kumon i think being part of a troupe that makes him laugh is the best, in the end. i did think it was funny when the game went “acting isn’t like baseball. there are no winners and losers,” says a member of the troupe that had a literal competition against another troupe where winning was the most important thing ever.

and that’s all, i think! very good story im sure theres things i missed but. very good.

omg that was quick indeed. bUT HELP as to why you think it went faster. And omg. can't wait to see the fic as well!!

let's GOOO

and HELP. the deadly pretty boy middle schooler squad. gotta love how quickly Kumon found him cool indeed. I also love how quickly and organically they started to get along! Azami really does have a lot of Yuki in his behavior doesn't he. i still love how the make up things ended up being mentioned like "oh i'm NOT letting you leave this backstage without some help. you need it." type. eheh loving the way you look at Azami's set up so far! And you're so right this CG could have been so nice… nerfed by the amount of official CG per chapter :/ looking forward the fanarts coming out of it ;D Azami truly does have some Gender going on and yeah. The dad sure is not being good there. AND! hell yeah for the soccer squad this is what they deserve. Give Tasuku some peace also to know that while his troupe is bad at sports he can make his own team somehow still.

NICE CATCH ON THE KEYCHAIN!!! it really does fit Kumon way too much :sob: Kumon is indeed so likeable like, the actor really does such a nice job at conveying just how open and exhuberant he is, but also just how soft he can be. really funny and adorable like you say, perfect for Summer.

as for Kumon's condition, welcome to the specifics! I also really connected with Kumon on this because oof, chronic illness like that is no joke and especially when it's stuff triggered by stress it's just… it feels never ending bc then you stress about being stressed and it gets worse in worse. And even though it's obviously not his fault, the way other people started to perceive his sickness influenced how he saw himself and it really became even more worse and he became so scared to fail people which just meant more stress, so, more guilt… man his story was so effective it made me feel really emo.

Azami helping him out with the brush was so cute :sob: a little placebo in a sense. I do love how Kumon still was stressed but he managed to push through still. a bit like Tenma was still hella stressed in his first plays but managed to push through enough to now be comfortable about it. Natsugumi meanwhile taking care of him and being so supportive is so sweet :sob: Summer are all genuinely so good, and when you take into account all the problems they had to deal with one another… Tenma's stagefright, Yuki's indecissiveness for the future, Kazunari's anxiety about not being what others people would want out of him, Muku's own insecurities and his own history with "failing" his sportsmates because of health, with also Misumi's big brother's instinct kicking in… everyone had made some little work on their side on their own anxieties that i think they could see a bit of their journey in Kumon and went yeah, we'll take care of him, and it was such a good support for them. and DLKFJDLKF Tsuzuru's powers, all knowing, and when he doesn't know, people will come to him to update his character files. but also mood for the balcony.

DLKFDLKF yeah i feel like, Summer's plots could be seen as "not comedy", but in the end it's all about the banter and the way Summer will improvise stuff with their high energy, they probably have more room to improvise and all. BUT YEAH the love thing always was surprising to me, i guess yeah they're in love with their manager but it doesn't feel like it should be the focus?? or perhaps it's about the love of the game?? Or Tsuzuru should come out already and tell us the romance between Tenma and Kumon's characters was explicitly that this time come O- and omg, really ready for the sports story mood i see. I hope Kumon got to read this manga. perhaps he even recommanded it to Tsuzuru? Yuki's character was so fun and it felt so Yuki, it was so great. But yess the roles were pretty nice.

it's a perfect transition no worries AND HELL YEAH. No warning we get murdered by phonecalls like people who cry over a3. I'm so glad you weren't spoiled considering it was Made Just For You, it was so nice to see it shook you enough to post about it also :'D Everything you say about Tenma's audition is so spots on and so good :sob: he's so good… It's in moment like that that yeah you remember just that he is a professional who can accept things going in one way or another pretty maturely, and no doubt summer did make him even better at that. like yeah he learnt to be more silly and more of a kid with Summer, but it also helps him adding new outlook on his perspective. it's pretty nice. AND GOD YEAH. THAT. YEAH. THE WHOLE SCENE WITH YUKI WAS SO NICE. Tenma loves Natsugumi and Natsugumi loves him back so much the gifts scene was also so damn sweet like. god i love those kids so much.

AND YEAH… YEAH. MAN. Tenma and Yuki did come a very long way but they trust each other so deeply at this point it's just so heartwarming to see. No CG of Kumon and Azami bUT a CG of Tenma and Yuki calling each other! We still come out of here winning!! and yeah i totally understand what you mean about the whole scene and the whole dynamic of this specific arc. I think that approaching their dynamic with physical distance showed just how close they have grown emotionally speaking and it was just. so damn nice to see. It was such a nice arc.

Kazunari's little side thing! yeah it's really nice to see Kazunari just.. want more? I think it also shows he's growing more confident in himself that he just wants to try everything now. His little sis being fan of Tenma is really soft, no wonder Kazunari kept taking pictures of Tenma when they met. And yeah!!! honestly it's like, of course quality gets better as the app grows and everything on a doylist perspective because yeah, the devs get better, they get better fundings, you even see it at times from how prettier the art composition of some of the cards become. But in universe, since the posters are Kazunari's doing, it really also bring home that it's Kazunari!! who's growing as well. It's so nice. but god yeah. i love how things really do have an impact in a3? like conversations from years ago still matter so deeply for the characters. It's so nice.

ooh nice that you like Azami's voice :3c promising set up with his relationship with Sakyo and yeah. Sakyo was already a dad, bless him. The Hyodo/Sakisaka dynamic is indeed pretty interesting, like… yeah they're cousins but that doesn't mean they were that close until they started acting, but now they're all together in this. and yeah makes sense that Juza still was a bit distant in the sense of, he's socially awkward and keeping to himself a lot even regarding his little brother. Yuki refusing to play the baseball game while he gets to play later in the play is indeed pretty funny. Kumon's CG is pretty nice toooo, it shows how serious he is for baseball and still how much of his conflict comes from how serious he is about what he loves. (kinda contrast also how Chikage's solo CG was him with his coin, something that shows the way he deceives people but ultimately that he can't keep fooling Sakuya with and ends up being the cataclyst in staying with Spring bc of the coin toss. Like the solo CG tell us a lot about them and their arc in general). Tenmaaaaa<333 Eguchi Takuya always delivers in term of voice acting, and i love how he looks out for Kumon :sob: AND SO true about the Azami and Kumon's relationship and the way Azami was ready to square up for Kumon. It was so nice to see, they have a nice dynamic. Muku has indeed got very brave!! and even braver when he does thing for other people in general (a continuation both of him standing up for Yuki in the first chapter, and how he went to confront the Ikaruga family for Misumi as well) but yesss their dunamic together was so so nice, they knew some stuff but of course they couldn't solve everything… i think it's like, esp with stress, when family tells you you do well it's just yeah sure, that's what family says. i feel like, with setting up Kumon being so attached to Juza, it was important that his arc ends up being about him looking for something /for himself/ instead, and finding good things outside of him. But yeah Juza was just worried :sob: he just comes off as much roughter in general. aND YEAH…. Tenma immediately enforcing that Kumon is his responsability is soft. AND YEAH THE BANRI SCENE. WAS REALLY CUTE. Hell if Banri actually shows he cares, he needs to be mean to Juza to make it work. think about his reputation smh. BANRI AND YUKI FRIENDSHIP MY BELOVED. And yeah Juza still values Yuki's opinion enough to be frightened. More than by Banri at least lmao. AND DLKFJDKLFJD rip Banri's hair. and yeah sobbs it's so nice.

omg yeah the cute girl skit was really so sweet and funny. It's a recurring thing too like, remember when Muku was stressed out during their first improv with Yuki and Yuki went on with the cute girl thing? Tenma roasted them at that moment bc "all they did is change their pitch a bit", and now they perfected it so well that it's Purely Cheer Up Material… sobs. JUZA IN A DRESS WHEN PLEASE. WHO DO WE HAVE TO BEG.

DLKJFDLKF YEAH it's so nice that they really like, work to make Kumon part of the team? like he gets to know the stuff he missed as well, he's up to date with them all. BUT YEAH the transition for Sardine search is really funny.

BUT YEAAH AAH the adlibs stuff were so nice. I still find that ending so funny, i love how everyone managed to roll with it… and very good observation for why Kumon wanted to join Akigumi. He probably felt like it could help him measure up to the expectations he had put on himself, managing to be cooler and surpassing himself physically considering those were the things he felt he lacked. But in the end he needed just to find his own path and coming to term with what he actually needed. AND LDKJFKDLJFKLFD Kumon: it has no winner or loser! Tsumugi still half reeling from what happened during his first play: :). yeah :) totally :) completely :).

but sobss i'm so glad you liked it!! Summer knew to come after your feelies both reminding you of the growth of your favorite characters and introducing a new cutie to the team. It's honestly so nice, and it was SO nice to read through your thoughts! as always, thank you so so much for sharing!!!

as a reminder, next is the event A Springtime Snooze ! Then you'll be able to read the Autumn Chapter!

Take care! :3c

#ichafantalks a3 #aranarumei #ichareply #long post for ts

[redwritr]

#redbird #chapter 5 #the cabin #period-typical period

[textsacc]

mm 🥺 nvm bestie i cant sleeb i have a lot to say n think abt

like how when i put my head down on a pillow n close my eyes i can rly see mc and its bad idw to 🥺 n also now im feeling regret for playing mc im so upset bc i cant seem to feel good abt being able to play games

mmm n also i felt bad trying to sleeb bc i missed u n miss sleebbing w u but was playing mc and i prefer u to minecraft and its just !!!! bad that i had to focus on minecrafr

like i didnt even get to ask u abt ur day or anth i ddint get to tell u that u did a great job w the party i didnr get to ask how u celebrated. u know what i also realize while laying down. i didnt even get to ask u out this summer n im so frustrated bc sch is starting for u n idw interrupt your schedule but i wanna do stuff now that im finally not busy and its just!!! its just a whole mess!!! i dont like it,,, i just wanna spend time tgt n cuddle,,,

i was only reading some manga today, regular fantasy isekai, called reincarnation of a sword, but i hated how the story progressed so i just. got rly mad at the state of my life rn idk???? tired n upset abt it n also i miss u n like cant believe i want to prioritize u above all else no joke its kind of }:v mood??? idk

n also i wanted to ask for clash but like thats secondary

jn me in mc i was playing w kon n sab n we were killing the ender dragon n also raiding some cities aft that. which is rly high pressure bc theres a lot of enemies after me n its rly easy to die AND i was the only one raiding it bc kon n sab cldnt help as much so they took forever while trying to get to a place i alr cleared out. i was trynna go fast n get the impt stuff for them n get out bc we all hated the place. n they yelled at me for stealing the show n flexing ig

tmr ill b going to sabs house bc they wanna hang out b4 going to nex to eat dinner w yee. and that sounds rly nice but at the same time i feel rly burnt out for sm reason. yes its 4am ig thats probably why i feel awful but. idk i also want cuddles n kisses ig. i wan cute girl (you) n im sorry i didnt get to see u off to sleeb 🥺 i rly wanted to n i was trynna raid asap so i cld but ik ur good girl n sleeb early bc school n i respect that so its nbd but i also rly like u n i wanna tuck u into bed n its like so routine that i miss u dearly at night n also it feels wrong when i cant. like if every day was a chapter you wld b my ending paragraph and if u werent there it wld feel like the chapter ended with tension. idk does that make any sense

also i wanted to lyk that like. im still talking to katelyn right bc of the site n we're friends but like. bestie. i need u to know i forgot to spell her name when we were talking. the aftnoon like 3 to 4 days ago when u were like gonna go ask katelyn or smth. she was going to sleeb bc our aftnoon is usa sleeby time i think and she said goodnight to me with my name but i cldnt mirror it back. i dont know why i thought it was kaitlyn (league of legends???) but ik i dont rmb how to spell it and the fact that u did makes me rly upset platonically and impressed every other manner. because i fucking didnt. 😭 just ic u wanna know how much shes on my mind (shes not. i miss u a whole lot. i want to sleeb w u agn)

bestie i hope ur day at sch goes okay 🥺🥺 n ill sleeb early w u i promise im not even gonna touch mc past 11 any more idk why it makes me feel sick but ik it does n im just. i want to stop feeling awful n up at 3 to 6 am during the hols. i miss you a lot n if i cld i wld like to follow u everywhere n help u out 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 pls keep me close like ur pet or ur little meow meow,,,

ilysm cutie 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i wish i was cuddling u instead of blahaj atm even if he is comfy. i wan giv u so many kiss n brush ur hair n tell u ur cute n go head empty i always go head empty when ur arnd and i like that... ure an angel 🥺🥺🥺🙏❤️

thank u bestie gnight 🥺🥺🙏

[sweetpuddings]

Hey are you ever going to update your Peter Parker fic on Ao3 or it is ditched? I just read all the chapters and rlly enjoyed it.

Hello!!

Well, it’s definitely not ditched!

It’s a bit sad actually, I still love Spider-Man very much but I don’t really have an actual plot for the story anymore — I just really have no idea where this is supposed to lead.

I outlined the next chapter but like 3 paragraphs into writing it I kinda realized this is just filler, it’s just leading nowhere, nothing is really happening that could somehow move the story forward.

Id love to update it, I’d love to revisit Peter, but I am genuinely at a loss as to what else could happen between them that’s somehow semi interesting.

Unless y’all just want some chapters that don’t rly have plot and are more just glimpses into their lives? Idk let me know

Also if you have a good idea for it, let me know! Maybe it’ll spark a fire and I’ll get the necessary fuel to shape the story into something coherent

#pudding answers #fic: nice inc #anon

[synchlora]

26. be wise

26. DESTROYA OR Vampire Money?

elijah u realize u r making me choose between frank iero moaning vs frank iero saying 'oh im there baby'?? do you understand the gravity of this choice??? of this situation????? you have chosen this for the sole purpose of condemning my dumb gay ass.

anyway it's destroya. don't fucking judge me it's a good song for more than the reasons above. like straight up tho it is actually a gorgeous song and the HARMONICS AT THE END DONT GET ME STARTED MOTHERFUCKER. the fact that it also has the line 'if what you are is just what you own what have you become when they take from you almost everything?' WHAT THE FUCK MAN.

AND DUCT TAPE SCARS ON MY HONEY??? FUCK MAN. its just got energy man. lots of trans vibes in that line like what the fuck man.

like vampire money is incredible in the fact that the censored version is somehow 100x hornier than the uncensored version but god. i have to go w destroya man. like there's so much going on there.

and it made an unassuming straight man (jimmy fallon) feel physical pain so that's a win here man.

#i am sorry for this post but elijah you have forced my hand #ty for condemning me w this ask <3 #please know the first paragraph is a JOKE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD #i am simply trying to be funny #but yeah. destroya is a rly fuckin good song and i hate that its just seen as 'haha funny song w moaning in it' #cause its rly important to the story man #i just. i have some anger abt this shit bc no one wants to look past the moaning in it #they wrote a good song that has some fuckin amazing lyrics but everyones just like. i will not pay attention bc this is Too Much #agdnsgdjsvh okay i am done w that rant but yeah #i have absolutely condemned myself w this post so elijah i hope ur happy #not saying my blog was ever not a wreck but this has fully secured that fate #asks #mcr tag

[nazuna-tunnel-vision]

sometimes i think, "this enstars character is kind of boring, they're literally just vibing" and then i realize that it's because enstars is a story where you need to really use your brain and connect a lot of dots. when it comes to characters whose stories i actually spent time reading and thinking about, i can write paragraphs about what core internal struggle they are struggling with. but i come up short for characters i don't spend time thinking about, even if they appear in all the same stories.

for example,

Ritsu: my family has some kind of genetic disease that makes us extremely weak to the sunlight. this disease is particularly severe in me, so socializing with others was pointlessly difficult for most of my life. i therefore had only maa-kun and my elder brother with me. then my older brother disappeared for reasons i could not understand and i've had abandonment issues since. also, because my elder brother of 10 months is a genius who has acted like an adult figure for me (and many other actual adults), i have problems with emotional maturity. combined with the difficulty even staying awake, i often don't do anything to solve my problems and just stew and feel bad about it. in !! I am actively working to solve problems as I see them, but I instead get extremely stressed because I care so much about so many things and people now.

Izumi Sena: I have problems with perfectionism. I have very high expectations for myself so I work very hard. I am also a huge softie and love looking after others but I've seen Shit Go Down when I was a child model and then again in high school. I am now too scared to outwardly be nice, so I am mean and unhinged around the people I care about and act self-centred when really I just want the people I care about to be safe and happy. Also I adopt every single person younger than me, because I was born to be a mom friend, but I can't let anyone know I'm a softie. In addition, I had a major role in my first and (at the time) only friend becoming a hikkikomori and I carry a lot of guilt about that. I continue to have Problems because I am Izumi "even if it's impossible I will achieve it through Sheer Will" Sena and I have managed to perfect the art of expressing my emotions (sometimes by being rather unhinged) without actually addressing any of the trauma they stem from.

Leo: I am full of love for others and give it out unconditionally, even though most people in the world would not give me love in return. I have trouble figuring out when and how to stop giving parts of myself away. Because Sena is a kind guy who is also really good at looking after me, I thought it would be okay if it was him. I basically gave him my life and did everything in my power to help him fulfil his wishes even if I did not agree. This resulted in our relationship falling apart and me becoming a hikkikomori. I recognise that gave too much of myself to Sena once but then I did that again 2 years later because this is still An Issue, and because Sena also has Problems and we kinda enable each other.

Madara: I wish I could become a hero and save people, but I do not have the power to do so. I do not even have the right to do so, given how steeped i am in underhanded dealings. I instead scaled my goals down to just protecting those i love, but even then they continue to get hurt and traumatised and I can only pick up the pieces and threaten their enemies. I am often seen as a threat and I agree with this assessment. (I push my loved ones towards those who can heal them but I still feel as worthless and dirty as a sack of shit.) Deep down, I still wish I could be a pure, sparkling hero like those in Ryuseitai.

Arashi: i dunno to be honest i never actually read her stories. something about loving all parts of yourself even if others don't affirm you and being afraid of losing people maybe

Tsukasa: i dunno i never rly thought about him, he's just struggling to keep his senpais in line. as far as i can tell he's generally quite well-adjusted, if a bit naive and ambitious.

anyway, my point is: please add on summaries of the internal struggles of your enstars faves!! it's a real shame that all these nuanced struggles are so hard to see and i would love to learn more about what their stories hold!

#enstars #izumi #leo #ritsu #rambles #ensemble stars #enstars knights #madara #sakuma ritsu #izumi sena #tsukinaga leo #mikejima madara #long post #i foolishly hoped that maybe this post would be as long as it turned out to be #*would not be

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima scenarios #ushijima angst #ushijima fanfic #ushijima reader insert #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi