#that i have truly WANTED something that it was a sign that i should pursue it (which is true) but the falsehood is that somehow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starswguru · 25 days

Text

❝ message in a bottle ; 마크이

𖥻 pairing: college!mark lee x female reader

𖥻 contains: college!au, fluff, slight angst, second chance romance

𖥻 warnings: swearing, marijuana & alcohol consumption / english is not my first language and this is my first work ever on tumblr so i am sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or misspellings

word count — 4.06k

synopsis — you and mark were in a situationship for a few months before things ended poorly when you got too scared of your feelings and he had to leave the country for an exchange program in london. now, six months later, you were at a party with your friends and discovered mark was back in town.

🎀

AND just like that, your whole world stopped spinning for a long and torturous minute. in the blink of an eye, you went from being over-the-moon excited — and slightly intoxicated — with the idea of partying with your friends during the first summer night before heading to your hometown in the next couple of days to being paralyzed, feeling all your blood get drained far away from where it should be in your body. in the blink of an eye, you went from being a happy girl with the arrival of the last member of your friend group to someone terrified with the sight of a ghost from the past. a quick glance, unintended by all means, in mark’s direction was all it took for the memories from that previous year to come flooding back to hit you like a lost train.

“hey, princess,” he said. his cheeks burning in a shade of shameful red, but something stronger than him was preventing his stare from going anywhere else other than your eyes. there was a blunt hanging between his teeth. “how you doing?”

“that’s it, guys; i’m done with this. i’m just gonna change my major or something like that! everything’s going terribly wrong, and i can’t keep torturing myself by studying this shit.”

you dropped your head and rested your forehead on your arm that lay on top of the desk in front of you right as the confession slipped from your lips like a dangerous poison that you should not have taken. it was the first time you’d ever said it out loud to someone else to hear — other than the mischievous voice inside your head — how you truly felt about the english major you were pursuing. the fear of judgment and of being too hasty about this decision was corroding every last bit of your emotional health, and because of it, you could sense that a storm was coming. what if you did change majors and ended up not adapting? how would you find a job, or better yet: how would you support living all by yourself if you couldn’t even pick an undergraduate academic path? time was running out, and the unbearable clock inside your mind wouldn’t give you a break. the tick-tacking of the goddamn thing was going to drive you to insanity at any point soon.

“hey, chill for once, okay? it’s normal to feel like that and to want something new. hell, i know i had to change my major twice before finding out what i actually wanted to do. jae did the same thing. you’re not alone.” jeno offered you a small yet reassuring smile or someone who didn’t quite know what to say but still wanted to see his friend more relaxed.

“exactly! take a deep breath and think things through with an easy heart. if you need help, we’re here to help you." swallowing the last bite of the sandwich he had bought earlier, renjun tapped the notebook in front of him. “how’s that linguistics project going?”

as you raised your head, you shook your head in a negative sign. “i mean, it’s good. too good, actually… and that’s sort of the problem. like, the dude i’m working with is super sweet and really fucking good at this class and so he’s kind of doing the whole thing by himself and dragging me along with it ever since we started. i feel terrible, even if he says it’s all good and stuff, but it is what it is, i guess.”

before either of the guys could express any opinion about what was just said, a guy with freshly cut black hair — it was even possible to see the drawing of a spiderweb on the left side of his undercut —, earphones in and a large yankees shirt approached the desk, more specifically you, and offered a genuine smile that wasn’t common to see between two colleagues who were only working on a school project together at you. the unknown man squatted so he could be at your height and unlocked his ipad’s screen to the word document the two of you were using to write notes together, or at least that was the initial idea because the reality was that mark was doing all of it alone, proudly.

“oh, hi, y/n, you good? just wanted to ask you a quick question… have you taken a look at this topic right here? i know we’re only supposed to work on it in two weeks but i was wondering if maybe you’ve come up with the same conclusion as me.”

feeling a thousand times more embarrassed than if a professor asked you to present a thirty-minute seminar alone in front of the whole class, you felt the tip of your fingers getting cold and a thin droplet of sweat rolling down your temple. “uhm, hey, mark. yeah, about that… look, i didn’t really have a chance to look at that yet, i’m sorry. i can barely manage this week’s assignments, let alone two weeks from now. i- i’ll text you when i read it, okay?”

you didn’t know it at the time — or if you did, you had an enviable ability of discretion — but every single time mark heard his name escape from your heavenly drawn lips, his heart would skip a beat or two and he felt like he was about to combust at any second. it was the first time in his whole life that he had ever felt that way about someone and dealing with feelings of that magnitude was both weird and extraordinary, which meant that the ravenette wasn’t completely aware of how to process them. mark’s solution for his overwhelming thoughts whenever you were around was to take charge of everything he could in that project, to make you feel relaxed about that one particular class. the canadian was terrible at linguistics, for his skills were much more reliable during literature classes: he could interpret and internalize poetry from the eighteenth century like it was nothing, and plays written in latin during the roman empire were of natural understanding for him; and yet, ever since the first day of that semester in which it was requested that both of you joined efforts to build the complicated assignment, it was impossible for mark to not pull all-nighters reading texts and more texts, watching one video class after another that broke down the subject of that class just so he could give his absolute best when the time came to work alongside you and you didn’t find him an idiot, as most people in that university usually did after meeting him for the first time.

mark just wanted to impress you and the last thing he could be worried about was doing all that alone, as long as it meant that he could still have the minimum interaction with you.

“yeah, sure, that’s cool. if you need anything let me know, alright?”

you were still in a state of complete shock. no words would come out of your mouth, making it impossible to answer properly the question directed at you by the boy that a year before was the reason for many sleepless nights and therapy sessions, through no fault of his, which was even worse, because mark was perfect and you hated yourself for how everything ended.

a cold breeze, too cold for a summer night, hit the both of you with enough strength to make you shiver and it was only then that you realized that none of your friends were around anymore. you were alone again with mark for what had felt like a lifetime since he left the country for an exchange program in london and with enough unspoken words to make the whole situation a million times more uncomfortable than it needed to be. what were you supposed to say right now? “oh, hi, mark, long time no see! listen, i’m really sorry for being horrible to you last year, i’ve spent the last six months torturing myself because i only woke up to the fact that i had let the perfect guy for me get away too late to try and fix everything”? you ran your fingers through your hair, knowing that there were no words of your knowledge that could make it easier, that could put together again the pieces of what had once been something magical that the two of them were building.

you couldn’t care less about all those times your therapist tried to be kinder to your heart than you had ever been, or how your friends always tried to distract your mind from the constant haunt of self-collection and, to be honest, didn’t really mind that yes, after all the effort and studying, you had managed to change your major to something you actually enjoyed if the price for it was to drop the perfect crystal piece that was mark’s precious heart. there were no words that could take that back, and going against every piece of advice that was given to you, you had imagined more times than you’d like to admit how this encounter would play out: what you would do, what you would say or not say, how it’d feel… but none of those scenarios inside your mind was anywhere near to the real sensation of being in front of him again.

mark looked taller — or maybe it was just the feeling of missing him crushing your soul and clouding your judgment —, the slim body now gave way to the body of a man who went to the gym and tried to truly take care of his health, his hair that previously used to be as dark as the t-shirts he used to enjoy wearing was now covered in a shade of red so bright that it reminded you of his favorite superhero’s suit. even still, the one thing that caught your attention the most were his eyes. before mark left, before the whole chaos, they were always big and full of life, like those of a curious cub and you could always feel a cozy warmth travel across your body when mark looked at you with such brightness; however, it seemed that ever since the canadian got back in town, they were opaque, closed off to the outer world as if his eyes were now carrying some kind of intense melancholy behind them. the familiar redness in his sclerae, months ago, used to always be accompanied by an excited and smiling version of mark lee, but that night the only thing apparent to you was that lee was holding on to weed like some kind of way to numb the break-up pain.

the redhead had lived a thousand different lives during his exchange: saw and learned things that he knew he would never have achieved if he hadn't accepted the opportunity to go to england and yet, his mind couldn’t recall any of those experiences with the genuine happiness he should’ve felt like any other normal and grateful person would if they were on his shoes; to mark, ever since you left him all alone, he had turned into nothing but an empty shell of what should’ve been the real mark lee. what were his experiences, his learnings, his funny stories if, at any moment, he was allowed to at least call the person he loved and share all of that with her?

“yeah, i guess i’m okay.” you answered, holding back a cry that was stuck in your throat before looking away. “you?”

a shiver went down the english student as he waited for his project partner to arrive at the coffee shop you two had agreed to meet at to finish for good the agonizing linguistics document. it didn’t even seem real that you were finally concluding the most stressful and endless project of your university career until that moment and despite the sweet taste of reaching the finish line, mark had on his lips a bitter one, because he knew that the very instant you pressed “send” on the body of that e-mail to your professor, all of his excuses to talk to you would come to an end. it was only the beginning of november, you should spend at least a few more weeks studying together if said professor were to follow a normal academic calendar like the rest of his fellow colleagues of the department.

mark would only have one last chance of making this work out and that chance was right there and then. anxiety and fear were destroying the boy with more strength than he himself was biting through his nails waiting for you to arrive.

“gosh, mark, i’m so sorry!” you said in a panting tone when you finally managed to get to the coffee shop and met the guy that, by that point, had already become your friend. “the bus took forever to get to the stop i needed and then the subway was also chaotic… anyways, i’m sorry that i’m late.”

the both of you stayed a long time in that coffee shop, not only finishing the assignment but also laughing together and watching a few episodes of modern family on his computer as a way to relax after all the constant flow of negative emotions the both of you were facing during that semester due to not only that particular class but also all the other ones with their enormous reading load. by the time you had indeed finished what you were supposed to do, you were feeling so comfortable in mark’s presence that you didn’t even notice when you heart started to race faster and faster before the mundane things the lee did: the way he smiled from ear to ear, or how kind he was to everyone around him. you were starting to fall in love with how mark explained all the different concepts he used to build his arguments across the paper like someone would explain the most basic things to a child, and you thought it was sweet the way he would say “dude” and “no way” every couple of sentences that fell from his lips. but, above all, unconsciously, the way mark seemed to glow every time he looked at you was ethereal to your eyes.

as soon as you sent the hated file, it started to rain on the outside of the coffee shop, but contrary to the ideal scenario, you couldn’t stay in there just waiting until the climate conditions became more favorable because the two of you had places to be at, on opposite directions. there would be no other alternative but to run to the nearest subway station, or in the brunette’s case, the bus stop.

mark immediately took off his hoodie to shield you as best as he could from the rain, in exchange for you protecting his backpack that contained his computer as if your life depended on it, the moment you two stepped outside the establishment and something of a thunderstorm was taking over the avenue. mark couldn’t help it and ended up laughing at the situation you two had found yourselves in, thinking about how he wished he was a little less broke and had a car to take the girl of his dreams back to her place without having to worry about the rain, or how he wished he was stronger to pick you up and carry you to the subway station and, with that, spare your shoes from coming in contact with the soaked surface of the sidewalk. before you could notice, you were right in front of the stairs that led to the station.

“bye, i think.” you said, giggling along with him while you tried to fix your hair that, despite mark’s hoodie’s protection, still got wet from the rain.

the lee was going to answer you like a decent and proper person, he really was, but in that very moment, a raindrop fell from the marquee above you and somehow managed to hit you right on the forehead, which made you close your eyes, but mark kept his wide open. with an automatic reaction of his body, almost like an involuntary movement that he was incapable of controlling — such as the beats of his accelerated heart — his left hand traveled to your neck while his right thumb was busy drying the solitary raindrop slowly, to give his mind time to analyze every little inch of your face so close to his. mark tried to respond with words to your farewell, but his impulse to kiss you was far stronger than any cohesive phrase that his brain could formulate in that moment.

the literature student, now in his final semester, nodded as he bit his lower lip and those opaque eyes fell to the floor beneath his feet after stepping on the remaining of his blunt. mark didn’t even know why he started that conversation in the first place, it was obvious that it was impossible for him to stand close to you without it affecting some part of him — whether for good or for bad — and even still, there he was, not managing to say a single word to you, nor being able to get closer, just feeding that giant gray and terrifying cloud that grew over both of your heads due to the impasse of what this was and what it should have been.

unlike his mind, that was only able to repeat tirelessly the day he finally built the confidence to kiss you, yours was in a hurricane of terrible memories that involved the brief, yet intense, relationship you two shared — or whatever the hell one could call it. how was it even possible that something that lasted only four months could leave such deep scars?

if mark was trying to hold back a smile remembering how it felt to have your lips on top of his, you were only torturing yourself with the replayed image of mark being crushed in front of you, by no fault other than your own. it was your fault that fear was allowed to consume every single good thing that the lee had ever given you; it was your fault that you’d thought that whole thing was a sick and sadistic joke from the universe and that, in reality, there was no way someone like him could've ever fallen in love with you. in the deepest, darkest, cruelest part of your soul, you were convinced that everything was your fault and not your mind trying to destroy you before something so pure and happy.

you were a sinking ship, navigating towards a port with not a single sight of a lighthouse’s spark to help you, not knowing how to reach the treasure that awaited your arrival because other people had already destroyed the lighthouse. the ability to grope around, trying to find yourself in the darkness you’d placed yourself, was stripped away from you the second you gave in to the bruises that were caused by third parties, and mark knew it wasn't your fault, although it was still difficult to try and be the guide to someone that wouldn't allow them to have access to the heat and light from the fire he tried to offer.

without even realizing it, the silenced cry stuck in your throat for months on end started to escape, not giving you any power to control it. you felt anger, sadness, frustration and you were missing mark… all at the very same time, in an endless swirl triggered by the mere vision of having mark back into your reality.

just like the first time you kissed, the unconscious answer of mark lee’s body to the sound of you crying after such a long time being away from you was to wrap his arms around your body without allowing himself to give too much thought to the action that just took place. if it was even possible, noticing you needing him in any way, shape or form was a true calling for him and it didn't matter how much time could've gone by, the lee couldn't ignore it. to love you and protect you was just as natural as breathing.

between the supplications for your tears to stop and hair strokes, mark then began to feel something that he thought was dead coming back to life inside the hollow box that was his chest. for months now, the redhead just knew that his heart was no longer there. instead, it must've been put inside a bottle and thrown away into the ocean that separated his emotions from his rational mind, as if he wasn't even the owner of his own feelings.

“please, princess, don't cry. i’m begging you.”

the cruelty of your mind wouldn't give you a break for not even a single second ever since the last time you've heart mark’s melodious voice so close to your ear, and the fact that it carried the same heavy tone of request didn't help with your genuine desire to stop your sobbings as your face was pressed against his chest. in that moment, the last thing on your mind were the looks that other people could be directing at the two of you; you could only see the desperation all over the face of the only man you've ever truly loved. he was in such pain that day — the day you told him you didn't want to see him anymore. soon, though, that image was replaced with the memory of the gut-wrenching feeling of chronic emptiness that filled your chest the following week and you came to your senses that you had make a mistake, but that it was also too late: mark was in another country, it was far too late to ask for forgiveness.

“i know you probably hate me right now. i shouldn't have done that, i shouldn't have said that, i was such an idiot, stupid… i'm sorry, mark, i don't know what was going on in my mind to treat like that, i-”

that sobbing wouldn't allow you to form coherent sentences properly and the way you were crying so helplessly was becoming melancholic instead of just sad to the man holding you. if only mark could get into your merciless head just how he would never be able to hate you, not in a million years, not when there was so much love, desire and adoration intrinsic to the image he had of you, then maybe that big gray cloud would disappear forever and the two of you could just live like he hoped for. all mark wanted was to have the privilege of loving you again.

“y/n, look at me” mark held the red and tear wet face of his beloved girl with kindness while his tone of voice was filled with all the firmness the moment could ask for. “for christ’s sake, y/n, i love you. i could never hate you. dude, really, for once just keep your head out of this and focus on what i’m telling you right now. i love you and this whole time i was thinking of you. only you.”

even if he knew you wouldn't answer anything for a few seconds, or maybe even minutes, mark just allowed a sweet smile to appear on his lips while he delighted himself with the feeling of being allowed to hold your face once again, to stroke your cheeks and to place small, delicate kisses all over your beautiful face — which he knew would force your breathing to slow down, giving you the chance to calm down again. the canadian was smelling like the combination of weed and beer, but somehow, your body knew how to identify the familiar and characteristic smell of his cologne; the same smell your searched for and ached for during the coldest nights, when missing him was too overwhelming it almost felt like a hole was being digged up in your chest. that familiarity was the reason for the shy smile that took over your lips, that opened a breach for light and happiness after all those tears while mark traced your lips with his thumb, admiring you like you were some kind of artwork created just for him.

“i was made to stay just like this with you, princess. and i’m not leaving this time.”

#— ⟡ 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐥𝐞𝐞 !#— ⟡ 𝐤𝐩𝐨𝐩 !#— ⟡ 𝐧𝐜𝐭 !#mark lee #mark lee x reader #mark lee x y/n #mark lee x you #mark lee angst #mark lee fluff #mark lee sfw #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #nct #nct dream drabbles #mark lee drabbles

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maggiemoomoo · 1 month

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Matt Sturniolo x Reader

Summary - Dr. Matthew Sturniolo is a world-renowned scientist best known for his experiments that are deranged, grotesque and just downright insane. Due to his contributions that stemmed from his research, he has successfully obtained the title "The Mad Scientist". Y/n L/n became so enamored by Dr. Sturniolo's crazy experiments and his eccentric nature that she worked her way through her connections in the scientific community to become his personal apprentice. Unfortunately, his insatiable appetite for the unnatural and the impossible has reared it's head towards her direction and it seems to want her to satisfy it.

Warnings! - smut, spit, praise, fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), doctor/professor/boss kink, dumbification, dirty talking, a little bit of power play?, mentions reader being injected with a needle but is very brief, mentions reader passing out, talks about using a body for experiments however none of that actually takes place!!!, descriptions of strange experiments and decor, I truly don't think y'all have anything to worry about even if you're squeamish but I just thought I would mention it anyway, slight aftercare

I race across the university campus straining to pull on my pristine white lab coat over my pajamas. It's a few minutes past two in the morning as I make my way to Dr. Sturniolo's laboratory. Along with the amazing opportunities that this job encompasses, it also requires frequent late-night calls to his lab once he makes progress with an experiment.

Although he gets plenty of good press applauding him for his advancements, he also has many people in the world who condemn him for his heinous acts. To most, his experiments that push the boundaries of the world that we know today are disgusting and he should be locked away for just his thoughts alone. Thank God the university donors funnel enough money into the program to keep him going, albeit in a secret lab away from the general public so he can continue to pursue his passion without interference.

I enter the building where his lab is held and begin to descend the stairways into the basement where he is currently holed up. I always find myself having a little pep in my step when he calls me up to come to the lab. Excited to see his newest creation but also to see his gorgeous eyes that had a glint of insanity in them paired with those delectably plump lips and adorable undereye bags that were gifted from the many sleepless nights he spent down there.

I definitely consider myself lucky considering I bagged one of the most unique and exciting jobs on the Earth. Well, lucky for the most part. Thanks to getting top marks in school and already having quite a knack for the weird and unusual parts of science. Always bouncing off the walls at being able to dissect frogs in biology, being first in line to sign up for forensic classes, or even just enjoying the art of making something that was once thought impossible, possible. I'm sure the doctor saw my potential and that I also possess, even if it's just a fraction, some of the craziness that he holds in his pretty head.

The doctor and I have a unique but close relationship, spending a lot of time in closed quarters, hours in the lab theorizing and experimenting, mostly me just following him around like a lost puppy and watching him work his magic. It hasn't gone unnoticed that the breathable tension that flows between us is getting stronger.

The past few weeks have been hugs, slight touches and him leaning over my shoulder breathing in the same air as me while I scribble notes for him. Him giving me pet names that make me subtly clench my thighs and him flashing me dangerous smiles that really make me question if I should cross the boundaries between a boss and his apprentice.

I finally pass the last threshold after scanning my university badge numerous times to get through the security checkpoints. I throw open the door to the lab and am met with an almost pitch-black room except for a slight cobalt blue hue that illuminates the space coming from a large tank that is holding one of his latest experiments that lies toward the center of the lab.

It's freezing cold as per usual but due to my rushing I didn't bother to put on a long sleeve or even pants on. Being donned in a tank top, pajama shorts, fuzzy socks, and my lab shoes, I realize I look incredibly disheveled and utterly ridiculous. I didn't even comb my hair before running over here and honestly, the doctor would be the last person to worry about that.

He almost lives in his lab as he spends all his time here. He has seen me in my best and worst state as I am often called to come to the lab in the late hours of the night when I am asleep or trying to continue to finish my research notes.

Due to the chill, I try rubbing my hands over my covered arms to try and generate some heat from the friction. I don't hear any noise and I don't see the doctor anywhere working.

"Doctor?", I ask slowly walking around the lab and pausing at the tank.

The bright blue liquid contains a single chimp who looks to be in a deep sleep state. He floats around slowly alongside the tiny bubbles that accompany him. The doctor's latest experiment features one of the things that humanity has always wanted to figure out - cloning. He has successfully cloned several species such as rats, bunnies, and even raccoons and we are slowly working our way up getting closer and closer to human cloning.

This has been a top-secret operation that has consumed all of our time and effort and I would be a liar if I were to say that all this time spent together in close proximity hasn't made my attraction for him grow ten-fold. Getting a front-row seat to him working constantly, watching him lick his lips and bite them in concentration, push his luscious hair back when he's stressed, and even his arms and hands that become covered in veins when he's been notetaking a little too long. I am utterly surprised at the amount of self-control I've accumulated from trying to resist throwing him on the lab counter and defacing it completely.

"Sir? I'm here, where'd ya go?", I called out again turning away from the tank. I hear slight rustling and look towards to lining of shelves at the back of the lab. Matt moves around one of shelves holding a small box of empty petri dishes in one hand and in the other is holding a beaker with a strange purple liquid. He's looking at his feet and mumbling to himself inaudibly as he moves closer to me.

"There's my smart girl!", he exclaims when he looks up and sees me. I can't contain the slight blush that crawls on my cheeks and warms my face. This has been the newest nickname he's been fixated on lately and I definitely don't mind it.

He takes a swig from the beaker with the strange liquid and quickly presses a slight kiss on the crown of my head before heading towards one of the lab counters. "I sincerely hope that what you're drinking isn't dangerous to humans?", I quip with a raised eyebrow. "It's just juice I promise", he flashes me a smile and then holds out the beaker for me to inspect it myself. I meet him from across the counter and sniff the top of the beaker which he is still holding up for me. Hm, grape, another fixation of his recently since the local store ran out of apple juice one time a couple weeks ago when I went on a grocery run.

I give him a nod of approval and he sets down the beaker. While he messes with some of the items already set on the counter I take in his appearance. He looks more of the same, red juicy lips from licking and biting them too much, his hair messy and disheveled, and his undereye bags still present. I trail my eyes down his chest and see his grayish button-down is slightly unbuttoned at the top revealing his collarbones that I so desperately want to lick and suck on while he-

"Come here Y/n."

I'm shaken from my thoughts and move around the counter too abruptly and bump into the corner when I approach him. I let out a small hiss and stopped before him when he grabbed my hip with his warm hand under my lab coat and gently rubbed it to help soothe the pain. He pushes the microscope toward me with his other hand, and gestures for me to look through the lens. "This is what I wanted to show you." He says in a hushed voice looking at the side of my face, his hand still rubbing my hip soothingly.

I lean forward and grab a hold of the microscope, I have to adjust the lens slightly to see what is on the slide that is already inserted. When I lean forward some of my hair falls in front of my shoulder and Matt catches it with his hand that's not on my hip and gently pushes it back behind my shoulder with a soft pet to the back of my neck after to hold it in place. All these lingering touches and with how close I am to him right now are greatly breaking down my resolve quickly and I don't know if I can conjure up any self-control this time.

Once I direct my focus away from him and his gentle touches I am astounded by what I can see on the slide. I gasp lightly, "Is that...", I pause my question in shock. "An embryo? Yes it is.", he finishes my question for me. I look away from the scope into his eyes next to me and I feel a broad smile crawl onto my face. He matches my expression and we both just stare into each other's eyes in silence.

"Does this mean we are finally capable of replicating it?", I ask excitedly. He nods his head and my eyes move down to his lips when he licks them slightly. "We're getting closer and closer to the best part, all thanks to you.", he squeezes his hands that are still on my hip and the back of my neck in an affectionate manner. "Anything for you sir.", I whisper leaning closer to him.

"Hmm, anything for me huh?", he stresses as he uses his grip on me to completely close the distance between us and press me against him. I can feel a slight hardness in his pants against my pelvis and I clench my thighs at the feeling. I run my hands up his chest grasping the collar of his dress shirt that is under his own lab coat and I lean my face closer to his while using my grip on him and raising on my tiptoes.

"Yes sir, anything."

He lets out a low growl before he completely consumes my lips in a breathtaking kiss. His hand on my hip slides to my lower back under my tank top caressing the skin there. Using my hips I push even further into his bulge and when he opens his mouth emitting a groan I slide my tongue into his mouth. I can taste the grape juice he was just sipping on and in the moment it feels as if it's the most delicious thing I've ever tasted in my life.

Using the grip he has on my back to push his hips back and forth against me grinding against my lower half while he keeps my head in place with his other hand. He massages my tongue with his passionately which makes me let out whiny moans and a dripping wetness spreads into my panties.

He then turns and pushes me into the counter in front of us while still kissing me. He withdraws his tongue from my mouth and starts to kiss from the side of my lips down to my neck.

Matt is still grinding his hips into me and he starts sucking next to where his fingertips are keeping my head still. I'm moaning into the air now and my hands begin to unbutton his shirt as quickly as I can manage with how little space there is between us. Once I make it to the bottom of his shirt I untuck it completely from his dress pants.

My neck is sore at this point from the love bites he's blessed me with. He moves both of his hands to the bottom of my tank top and yanks it up and over my breasts quickly. He leans back to inspect them, moving his hands to cup each breast and feel the weight in his hands.

I'm gripping his belt tightly and holding his hips against mine keeping them from moving. I'm subconsciously afraid that I'm still in bed dreaming about him instead of being here. Present with the famous Dr. Sturniolo while his hard-on is against me and him admiring my tits in his hands.

His entire focus is drawn to them, my breathing heavy, my ribs contracting and expanding pressing against his hands. Matt's breathing is just as heavy as mine as he gently squeezes and moves his thumbs to softly circle over my areolas. My hands grip his belt tighter as he begins to pinch and twist my nipples while groping my breasts affectionately. My eyes slide closed and my head tips slightly forward at the pleasure I'm feeling.

"Look at me Y/n.", he whispers to me.

I open my eyes, half-lidded, and meet his captivating ones already looking at my own. He slowly leans down while maintaining eye contact and kitten licks my right nipple while giving me a harsh grind at the same time. He goes back to squeezing and grinding against me, sucking, licking and practically making out with my breast. Moving back and forth between them leaving kisses in his path when he moves to each one.

Matt and I were just staring at each other only breaking eye contact to blink. The intenseness of his stare increased my arousal for him and I could physically feel the admiration radiating off of his eyes. We both had a mutual psychic understanding that we both wanted and waited forever for this moment but we were grateful it was finally happening.

While he stained my skin with his kissing and licking I felt inclined to move things faster and quickly started unbuckling his belt. He felt the movement and leaned back, his hands moving slowly up from my chest to cup my neck from the back, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. I didn't remove his belt as I felt a little too turned on to bother with the specifics of getting completely naked. I just unbuttoned and unzipped his dress pants and started to pull them down just enough to palm his dick through his boxers.

He finally broke eye contact by looking down at my hand with a groan, his grip tightening on my neck and pulling my face to his to where our lips were ghosting each other and our noses were touching. "You wanna make me feel good, huh?", he asked me and bucked his dick into my hand. I squeezed him and he hissed against my lips. "Yes, sir I wanna make you proud of me.", he sees my innocent stare and growls sucking my bottom lip into his mouth quickly biting it and releasing it with a pop.

He uses the hold he has on my neck and pushes me to the ground on my knees in front of him. He removes his right hand and pushes his pants and his boxers down enough for his cock to heavily bob into the air. It's so big and beautiful and looks so delectable, my thighs pulse against each other becoming tight against my pussy.

He grips his cock and strokes it slowly, squeezing his tip hard to push a little precum out of his slit. He then rubs his tip against my lips spreading his precum around my mouth and I stick out my tongue to touch his dick and lick up the residue. He tilts my chin up a little to look into my eyes again, "Open up for me sweet girl.", he commands and I immediately part my lips enough for him to slide his dick into my mouth. He moves his right hand to the side of my head holding back some of my hair away from my face.

He pushes his hips back and forth to guide the way that he wants me to suck him. I use my tongue to smooth up and down each side and on the bottom as best as I can to heighten his pleasure, which proves difficult with how thick his cock is. Matt's moaning out loud while he uses my mouth and I feel so much satisfaction knowing that I can make my mentor feel this way. That it's me who is sucking his dick right now and letting him push himself into me.

He slides his hand on the side of my head to the back and grips my hair to pull me and press my head against the side of the table. His hand protected my head from hitting the side. Matt adjusts his position so he's leaning even more over me now, my hands move to his thighs and dig my nails into them. This new angle allows him to plow into my mouth more aggressively, fucking my face. He thrusts faster, groaning even louder and holding onto my hair tighter.

I'm gagging loudly, spit bubbles pouring out of my mouth falling down the sides of my mouth and dripping onto my chest. Trying my hardest to hold onto his thighs for leverage and pull in breaths when I can every time he trusts out. "Such a good girl letting me fuck your throat.", he groans out, I moan in response looking at him with my teary eyes.

"Deep breath baby", he says quickly pulling out to his tip for only a second while I suck in a deep inhale. He then quickly pushes all the way to the hilt my nose smashing against his pubic hair at the base of his pelvis. "Aw fuck yes, so fucking good." He moans out grinding against my lips. Tears have left my eyes and are sliding down my cheeks, my nails dig into his thighs even harder ensuring some deep crescent shapes in them. I'm not able to gag so my chest just contracts and I try to stay still to please him.

He then quickly pulls out all the way a fat dribble of spit leaves my mouth attached to the tip of his cock and falls onto my neck and chest. I let out an aggressive cough and took multiple breaths to catch up. His hold still keeping my head against the table he repeats this action over and over. Pushing in, holding and grinding, praising me, and pulling out to let me breathe. As I'm getting used to the feeling he's pulling out less and less and gradually just fucking my throat against the side of the table.

"Yes, yes, yes baby, so close just hold on f'me." His groans increase in volume along with his thrusting. I'm pushing down the feeling to gag as much as I can to satisfy him and get him to finish. Looking into his eyes I grab my tits, squeezing and pulling at my nipples to give him visuals to help him reach his finish.

He pushes all the way into my throat with the loudest and deepest moan he has expressed and spills his seed. It's impossible for me to swallow so I just close my eyes tight and pray that he'll allow me to breathe soon. He slowly pushes back and forth, his length still pulsing and pushing his cum into the back of my throat while he rides his high.

He pulls out one last time with a deep sigh and admires his work. I'm completely drenched, my eyes still leaking tears that are running down my cheeks, from the bottom of my nose to my chest is covered in a layer of spit making me shiny. He kneels down in front of me, my hands moving to the tops of his thighs and holding myself up on them to keep from toppling over.

"So proud of you baby, did so so good for me.", He sucks my lips into his own and kisses me passionately moving his hands to cup my wet cheeks. He presses kisses from my forehead to my nose to each cheek and then finally back on my lips. "My good girl, my smart, beautiful, and talented apprentice." He pets my hair smoothing it down from his hands pushing and pulling it making it messy.

Matt puts his hand on my lower back to pull me against him and reaches around me to take off my lab shoes pushing them under the table. He then stands up pulling me with him and picks me up fully to set my thighs on the counter. He grips my hips pulling me to the edge and nuzzles his nose against mine. He slides the microscope to the side and out of the way.

His hands grab my shorts and panties and pull them off in one fell swoop and drop them to the floor leaving me in just my tanktop, still sitting above my breasts, socks, and lab coat. Matt is clothed the most between us with only his shirt and pants unbuttoned. His cock still hangs heavily between us and presses against my right thigh.

He reaches between my thighs to touch my pussy which has been soaked since before I even got on my knees. His fingers circle my clit and I grind into his hand to get more friction. "You gonna let me finger this pretty pussy?" He asks with a grin on his face while his fingers speed up their circular motions. I nod my head with a loud "uh-huh" and spread my legs more to give him more room.

I lean all the way back until I'm flush with the table and Matt pushes my left thigh up to my side so he can look at his hand touching my pussy. He trails a single finger down slowly and slides it inside my entrance and I bite my lip at finally getting some inner relief. He guides it in and out slowly to prep me for his cock.

"So dirty letting me use your pretty mouth, you gonna let me use you're body?" He quips as his finger speeds up.

My head is against the table with my eyes squeezed shut and my lip between my teeth in lost pleasure. He takes his hand that's not defiling me and moves up to my face. Matt uses his thumb to pull my lip from between my teeth and press the sides of my cheeks into a slight pout. I open my eyes to find he's already watching me and when I do he slides a second finger beside the one already inside me.

"Answer me, Y/n." He finds that point within me that draws a moan from my lips. "Yes, please I'll let you do whatever you want sir!" I squeal when he roughly pushes into my cunt. I grip his torso, my hands balling up his shirt while I try to grind myself into his hand.

"You'll let me use you, huh? Use your beautiful body for my experiments?" He questions with a grin as I convulse under him.

"Yes! Yes! Use me, sir, god, please!" The pleasure is consuming me rapidly the more his words slip past his lips and into the warm air. "Always so fucking obedient Y/n. Turns me on so much when you obey me." I mewl back at his praises and slip my hands from his chest back to my tits to squish them to amplify my pleasure.

Our eyes are entranced with each other as if a tether keeps us from straying away. When he moans, I moan back in satisfaction. When his fingers curl into that delicious spot within me again, I buck my hips in tandem. We've created a rhythm with each other that's as if it's an erotic dance and I've become mesmerized by him. He's put me in bliss that has me hypnotized through his eyes, words, and fingers alone. I couldn't have been more willing to try to impress the doctor by giving him whatever he desired.

He speeds up even more as his hand moves from my cheeks to my jaw to keep me still in his hand. He leans his torso closer to mine his nose flush with mine making our stare at each other more intense. His cock still rubbing against my thigh aching to replace the spot where his fingers are currently occupied. I can feel the muscles in my abdomen tightening and my eyes are beginning to flutter at the feeling. My legs are locking up trying to push to my climax.

"Relax sweet girl, I got you." He assures me when he notices this and I immediately adhere to his command. Relaxing my muscles allows him to push his hand flush against my cunt constantly putting pressure on the spongy part inside me. Over and over he runs his fingers over that spot and when I finally orgasm, his grip on my jaw never loosens letting him see exactly what my face looks like when I cum.

He brings his lips to mine in a deep kiss, both of us breathing heavily into each other's mouths. I move my hands onto the back of his neck and his shoulder to keep him against me. He takes his soaked fingers and rubs them onto his cock as an extra lubricant, not that he needs any more as his dick is already slick from my mouth.

The kiss is sloppy, messy, and extremely dirty. Months of pining and secret looks just poured in between our lips. My admiration for my boss and his love for his little assistant has broken all boundaries and made itself known.

I feel his dick sliding through my folds hoping for more. He leans away only mere inches and a look of joy and content adorns his face. I smile back and my hands move to his cheeks and stroke them slightly. He hums as his eyes move around my face scanning me and then down towards my body as if he's memorizing how I look when I'm exasperated.

"What?" I ask with a slight giggle, "Nothing just committing you to memory." He makes eye contact with me again. I then hear a slight clink next to my head, not even realizing his hand moved away from me. I try to turn my head but his hand on my jaw is keeping me still and aligned with his face.

He pecks my lips quickly and his hold on me tightens, "Thank you, smart girl, you're so useful." Matt then turns my head to the side quickly and I feel a puncture to the side of my neck. I let out a yelp of pain as a fire spreads through my neck.

"Matt what-" I shout when the thing in my neck is removed and he turns my head back towards him. He shuses me with a finger against my lips when I start whimpering in fear. "You wanted me to use you baby and I will I promise. Just go to sleep you're okay," he says tenderly kissing my face and petting my side.

I'm crying from the spreading pain in my neck and my hands move to his shoulders trying to push him away from me but my hands begin to feel so heavy. My muscles are relaxing too much and my brain feels foggy, too drunk without any alcohol. "Hurts...please-" I'm slurring, my eyes slightly closing.

Matt is still staring sweetly at me, so much love in his eyes, his hand moves from my jaw to my hair stroking it affectionately. "I know it hurts baby, just sleep it's okay. I'm right here love." He kisses my lips again.

I'm trying to fight this feeling of succumbing and try turning my head to the side and seeing a large syringe. Whatever was in it is now inside of me and I'm cursing myself for not noticing before or maybe just not caring. My lust for my mentor overshadowed everything in front of me. Through the haze, I'm still trying to piece my thoughts together of what just happened. I realize that he really did mean what he said when he wanted to use me, just in a different way than what I had assumed.

I flop my head back into his hand that was stroking my hair and whimper more as the unbearable feeling of sleepiness clouds my head. "No.... nu-uh ple" broken words are escaping me and my hands fall onto my chest no longer being able to move them.

"Shh, it's okay Y/n. Soon enough I'll have more than one of you around to satisfy me." His eyes have moved from giving me adoring stares to having a glint of insanity. "You were always the next step my love, I was just waiting until you were ready. You are going to do so well for me I just know it." He praises me in a way that doesn't feel like a compliment.

I guess I just assumed that Matt's experiments wouldn't get to a point where I would fear for my life. That we wouldn't cross the line of ever potentially being a subject in one of his experiments. But I was wrong, I got too comfortable, too clouded and entranced by his prowess and his beauty that I am now paying for it.

The last thing my eyes could make out in front of me was Matt's face, illuminated by the soft blue light of the tank. Excited for the future and what using me and my body could mean for the world. My mind finally makes one with the darkness overwhelming me and I succumb to what my idol and mentor wanted me to be all along.

A/N - i actually really really really hate this........ i hope you all enjoy reading it maybe my writing will get better lol this seems all over the place to me. also im sorry i disappeared i was silently active on here just liking peoples posts but ill try to post more myself. i know this one was a little fucked up but i started writing it a month ago and i cant start another project unless i finish one all the way through. i have way better ideas that i want to execute for oneshots so i hope that you guys at least develop a little faith in me lol. also don't worry i will be uploading the chris series i started i just am extremely shy and not confident in my work so i posted and then chickened out ig? i dunno but anyway i love this fandom and the tumblr side of it everyone seems to be so nice and supportive and im excited to be more active in it eventually. :3 <3333333333 ᡣ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶𐭩 ♡

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ofoceansandtombsanew · 4 months

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18:45 ー GOJOU SATORU. it's because you're the strongest that i have to stay with you; who's going to protect you otherwise?

"are you the strongest because you're gojou satoru?"

"or are you gojou satoru because you're the strongest?"

satoru never had the opportunity to answer suguru's question before he defected completely from their organization to pursue a pipe dream. but if gojou satoru had to answer the question, months later, he'd probably answer that it's the former.

he was born the strongest. his was a birth that shook the entire world all by virtue of his six eyes, the first user in centuries. there's no one else in the world like him.

he truly is the honored one. the one who is given the that are jobs too difficult for the weak and ordinary. the one many quietly scoff should handle everything at this point.

therefore, being strong is a given for him; limitless, the six eyes, all the bunk things he learned throughout his current three years at jujutsu tech. it's all pretty much been expected for him. there's nothing he can't do if he really put his mind to it. it's been that way since he was a kid.

nothing can touch him in senses literal and metaphorical. not unless he wants it to. he hasn't been touched by a foe since his run-in with the zenin reject.

that's why what he is experiencing presently is such an oddityー someone looking him over carefully for any signs of injury. "so you know this playing doctor thing is pretty pointless, right?"

"you're point?" you tell him as you continue to look over him carefully, gently moving his hands and arms before circling around him one last time. "and how are you feeling?"

"perfectly fine," he shrugs truthfully. the mission was light work, nothing special. special grade curses were standard for him by now.

you stand in front of him, finally nodding in approval, "alright, you can get the [first] stamp of approval then. you're all good."

"told ya."

"complain all you want," you place your hands on your hips, nose in the air with a petulant tone. "i'm always gonna check you over when you come back from assignments, mr. no one can touch me. and take these off," gently, you remove satoru's sunglasses from the bridge of his nose. delicately, you close them and rest them to hang on the collar of your shirt. "it's too dark to wear them. you'll trip."

you hold each other's glares for a brief moment before sporting a pair of matching grins. "welcome home," you tell satoru at last, not fighting it when he pulls you into a lazy hug.

it's nice being back. "glad to see someone missed me," maybe he might have missed you more though. you make a scoff of annoyance but you hug him back anyway. satoru's hold tightens. it crosses his mind for a moment the two of you should move in together after graduation. "it's too late to act like you didn't. i know, i know, my presence leaves a huge hole in your heart until i come back."

"says the one who calls me incessantly whenever i get assigned something," you cross your arms, grinning smugly.

"so you say," he shoos your words away. "but you're the one who was waiting for me to come back on the stairs. just accept the fact that you clearly missed me. extra arguments about any habits i might have are unnecessary," he holds his palm in front of your face just before you likely were about to remind him that he's the one who always waits for you to pop back up from missions on the school stairs like hachiko. "let's get back to the dorm, i'm starving."

you roll your eyes but you follow after him anyway while satoru slows his pace to match yours, hands swinging in the same orbit but separate.

"but seriously, you don't have to always check me over like that whenever i come back from a mission," satoru starts, holding back the urge to mess with the back of his head. maybe he should cut some of it off. "if anything, i should be the one checking you over." still, ever since august of second year, this has been your routine.

he comes back from a mission and you don't let him do anything fun unless you're 100% sure he's okay.

you reach over to hold his hand and give it a squeeze. satoru is the affectionate one between the two of you. even before you were friends and he merely enjoyed antagonizing you in his spare time in first year. he's never been hesitant to touch you.

first year it was poking your cheek or flicking your forehead.

second year he evolved to slinging his arm around your shoulders. august of second year was also when you shared a bed for the first time. the star plasma vessel went wrong in everyway possible and amanai and kuroi's bodies were stuffed in the jujutsu tech morgue. ascended, lost and empty, satoru found himself waiting in your bed until you got back to the dormitories.

when did he start associating you with safety? satoru isn't sure when that line began to blur, all he remembers is that your room is instinctively where his feet led him. in your room he stayed until you showed up again and in your room you let him be until the sun came up.

now in third year, affection was swapped between you both as easily as breathing. still, normally he was the one initiating it. it's nice when it's the other way around though.

"don't you remember what i told you last month?" you smile in the moonlight, swinging your hands between you both. "i'm gonna protect you, whatever way i can. that includes dealing with me looking you over for injuries even if it's very unlikely you're actually hurt. and i know the chance of us being paired up for missions is slim to none, but just know i don't care if you have your infinity. i'm your shield."

gojou satoru has never been told "i'll protect you" before.

but a week after you both turned 17, not only did you promise you'd never leave him, you told him that you'd protect him too.

your cursed technique has never been anything to brag about.

at least, maybe not until recent years. you called it 'rejection' but it ultimately just came down to your cursed energy solidifying into a shield. nothing satoru could really respect back when you were first years. saying he respected your technique the bulk of second year was a bit of a stretch too; second year was when he was toeing the line.

until recently, solo missions were never things you were sent on. you were back up meant to protect whatever combatant you were paired up with. satoru's never been one of them. why would he be when he's got his own shield?

how does one protect the strongest?

satoru doesn't need a knight. it's a fact everyone knows, hence why his assignments have been solo since third year. hence why even in second year he was never paired up with anyone whose abilities were defensive in nature.

yet despite that fact, it's been you and you alone who has ever told him ー gojou satoru ー "i'll protect you."

and you meant it.

"i meant what i said," satoru feels your thumb brush against the side of his hand. "you're stuck with me for the end of time. because if no one else is gonna look after you, i will."

"why?"

"because i want to."

"why do you want to?"

you both stop walking and your answer doesn't come as quickly as the rest. your eyes are a million miles away from where you're both standing in the middle of your too-large campus. it's not for the first time that satoru wishes he could read your mind. "you're someone very precious to me," you say at last with soft conviction. you're strong. first year satoru was dumb to think otherwise. yours is a quiet strength satoru still doesn't quite understand but he's happy to receive. "you already know that though."

"i didn't realize you liked me so much," satoru laughs dryly but his grip around your hand tightens. "better be careful, [first]. the people will start to talk. imagine what utahime will say."

"satoru," he looks at you again, really looks at you. your smile is expectant and comfortable as you look back. like what you're going to tell him is next is something he should be expecting and yet still you're so patient with him. "you know i'm in love with you, right?"

yeah.

first year you weren't much of anything besides classmates.

second year you were friends.

third year you're an unlabeled strangeness. you aren't lovers but you definitely aren't just friends, existing in a weird space between where neither of you say anything but it's obvious. it isn't like he's sharing a bed with shoko or nanami most of the week or holding their hands when he comes back to campus. he knows you're not caressing their heads every morning after you wake up, waiting until their fully cognizant before starting your day.

you love your friends. but satoru knows there's a tenderness reserved just for him the way his affection that lingers is reserved solely for you.

"'course i do," satoru finds himself chuckling humorlessly again. "about time you said it, though. no one wants to be rejected by the person they're in love with. what if i was misinterpreting all the signs?" there's no way he could have. still it was scary not knowing for sure. that if he did anything wrong you'd have backed away.

"you won't leave too, right?"

"it’s unfortunate to tell you but you’re pretty much stuck with me, satoru."

it's the promise he's most scared of you breaking and he never wants to be the cause of it.

"there's nothing to misinterpret," you playfully tug his hand to pull him closer to your side before leaning onto him. "i want to protect the one i'm in love with, that's all there is too it. you're worth protecting even if logic argues there's no point in me trying. i'm going to protect you and that's that."

"you're gonna protect me?" satoru whispers as dreamily as the first time he asked.

"yeah," you vow once again. "with all i've got; even if it's not enough."

it's enough. you're more than enough.

the winter winds brushing against the two of you warns that you should be heading inside.

satoru feels more than warm kissing you.

while this is technically part of the same universe as my last gojou fic 「i cherish you, halcyon days」 this can be read as a standalone as well. this takes place during the end of third year but before the start of the 4th year (jujutsu schooling lasts 4 years in canon)

but this how i always imagined the love confession would have gone

#look she's writing #timestamp #gojo x reader #gojou x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #when will the brainrot end???#caved and made fluff because i felt bad about the angst. ish

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daarka · 1 year

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For those late to the party who want to know what the hell is going on with #OpenDnD, #StoptheSub, #DnDBegone etc, and why everyone is cancelling DnDBeyond subscriptions, I tried to do a crash course as succinctly as possible. OpenDnD.Games is a great resource for more in-depth details, and if you wish to do so, you can cancel your DnDBeyond subscription through this direct link (as there have been many reporting trouble in locating where to do so). Edit: Tweaked the very first detail below, as someone reminded me it was not a wholly accurate statement as I had initially written it. Apologies to everyone who already reblogged the first version of this :')

Hasbro acquired Wizards of the Coast (WotC) some time ago, but recently they got new leadership who said in an interview that they see D&D as "under-monetized". Hasbro is on the decline with finances, and WotC is its biggest cash cow. Why milk that cash cow through producing more content when you can instead revoke a legally irrevocable license that makes it impossible for 3rd party content creators to exist?

America loves a good monopoly. The old license that permitted the community to grow to what it is today was OGL1.0a, and without it, D&D would not be what it is right now, nor even close. They tried to shift to OGL1.1, a new license that is, in a word, PREDATORY. Horrific, nasty shit.

OGL1.1 was quietly sent to large creators to sign. It then got leaked. The community erupted. The backlash was loud and unanimous. WotC was radio silent for like two weeks. They finally gave a single-sentence "we'll explain soon" tweet on DnDBeyond's account. Then more silence.

A WotC employee reached out to large creators to blow the whistle on WotC. The source was verified, and they shared that WotC sees the community as an obstacle between them and their money, all they care about is bottom line, and they're delaying in hopes we forget and move on.

And also that they are mainly looking at DnDBeyond subscription cancelations to gauge the financial impact; they don't care about our sentiments, only our money. So everyone erupted into signal boosting for others to unsubscribe as the single and best way to make ourselves heard. Cue the mass unsubscribing.

Today (January 13th 2023), a shitty PR piece was posted on DnDBeyond full of blatant lies and, in my opinion, barely-contained saltiness. Right before that, though, OGL2.0 leaks came out; the tweaks they'd begrudgingly made following the backlash. 2.0 is basically just as bad as 1.1; they just spoke of it as being more changed than it was.

In other words, they keep bold-faced lying to a community of rules-lawyers who recreationally read fine print :)

Meanwhile, Paizo (creators of Pathfinder) has come to the rescue, vowing to release a truly open license that will allow everyone to continue pursuing the livelihoods they're passionate about; this is the Open RPG Creative License, or "ORC".

Canceling subscriptions immediately sends a potent message, even if you may have to resubscribe later for functionality in your games. You'll still have the remainder of your billing cycle to enjoy paid perks.

Everything's a little on fire, but I think we'll be okay ♥️

OGL1.0a was never meant to be revocable, as loudly stated in the past couple days by the very people who authored it. It is very likely that WotC is actually just bluffing and bullying, and is actually powerless to revoke it--something many lawyers more knowledgeable than myself seem to be suggesting. In which case, it is my greatest hope in all of this that 3rd party creators are able to continue doing what they love, with no further interruptions.

Remember: the majority of WotC and DnDBeyond employees feel the exact same way we do, but they don't have a choice. Hasbro is the enemy here. Be kind to each other, and know where blame should and should not be placed. If you want to stay up to speed, the account of @.DnD_Shorts seems to be a very active and informed voice, largely responsible for sharing the first leak. If Twitter makes you want to puke, I completely understand; DnD_Shorts also has a YouTube channel with frequent updates on the situation posted in video format.

It's cathartic to me to try to signal boost this stuff, and provide summaries that might help others stay informed. It helps me feel like I'm somehow able to affect these nasty things that are otherwise just inflicted onto lil guys in the community like myself.

However, this has been beyond exhausting and stressful. I'm going to start untangling myself and stepping back from posting about this issue so I can hopefully restore some of my own sanity.

It's been really crazy--in a good way--to see the power this community has when rallied together under a common threat. It makes me proud to be in that community.

At the end of the day, all TTRPGs are really just exercises in creativity and fun. The golden rule has always been and should always be that there is no right or wrong way to play, other than what suits you and those you play with. Likewise, no one should ever feel guilty or judged by others for playing one system over another. It's okay to like D&D5e despite all this. No matter how much they've tried, Wizards of the Coast cannot claim jurisdiction over the invaluable memories you've made, and what has become a creative outlet for countless people. Myself included.

Boycotting is a great way to be heard, since they only care about money. But continuing to use the content you have to play D&D5e is your prerogative, and hurts no one. Furthermore, it's also okay if you can't cancel your DnDBeyond subscription because you rely on it too heavily for your games. That doesn't make you a traitor. That doesn't estrange you from the community. DnDBeyond, at its core, is a great tool that is popular for a reason; it's the new leadership that is forcing it to become something it wasn't meant to be. One day, I hope to be able to resubscribe in good conscious, and I hope that day is soon.

To reiterate, if anyone's even read down this far... be kind to one another. Keep in mind that big enemies win when the party is divided. You can love or hate anything you want in the TTRPG sphere, but how you feel about it does not invalidate someone else feeling the opposite.

Be kind. Be patient. Be empathetic. We're already coming out on top.

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loveemagicpeace · 7 months

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🍸💘Libra Season⭐️🌸

🩷Libra is all about relationships. In Libra season, we learn how to find balance within ourselves, our environment, and our relationships. This intellectual air sign helps us grasp the concept of diplomacy, teaching us how to find compromise. Throughout this Libra season, ask yourself: Am I truly listening? Can I communicate without putting the other person on the defensive? What area of my life could benefit from more balance? Libra season is an excellent time to create balance in your life or start a new partnership. Begin more moderate habits. As a Libra you are diplomatic, charming, amiable, intelligent, fair, balanced, elegant, and polite. Let the Libra season help you to expand these natural gifts.

🌙On September 29 will be a full Moon in Aries. Full Moon in Aries always proves to be an exciting one and an opportunity to feel our life’s mission and then decide how to pursue it. It has the power to teach us about our soul’s purpose and how to pursue it while living in the world with other people—each of whom has their own soul’s purpose. This Moon can help you understand your journey more deeply. The full moon in Aries marks the time when you attempt to create true balance. Aries, is all about your relationship with yourself. Aries energy can help you be very decisive and clear about what you need.

✨Sep 30 — Mercury in Virgo trine Uranus in Taurus. This aspect suggests an easy opportunity to harmonize technology or specialized information within daily life. Access to new ideas or technology should be easily grasped and immediately integrated. Sun trine Pluto- this brings intense and profound experiences. Whatever you are interested in now, you will be driven to research and investigate the inner workings to gain a complete understanding of the topic. Moon trine Venus-you will feel like you are in your element and flowing with the tides of life. Moon trine Saturn-You can rely on strong instincts and common sense to make important decisions about your home, family, and relationships.

🥂On 1 October will be Moon in Taurus Conjunct Jupiter in Taurus. Energy can be expansive, and you can focus on pursuing new opportunities and having new experiences. It is always a stable time to think about the things that mean a lot to you and what is valuable to you.

🤘🏽On 2 October- mercury opposite neptune-it can be a more confusing day, and communication can be misunderstanding. This can be great for the imagination, though you may get lost in it.

🧠On 3 October - moon will be in gemini & mercury tine pluto- more in-depth topics will come to light. This is also good for debating darker topics. Dig deeper into something you need to know more about. You will want to understand things more.

⚡️On 4 October - Mercury Enters Libra- Seeing both sides to situations, being compromising, negotiating, and mediating can be easy to do. There will be more conversations about relationships, romantic things. Maybe you will advocate more for potential partners. You may want to please people more during this time. There will be more embellished words and conversations. You will hear everything you want to hear.

⛅️On 6 October - Last Quarter Moon in Cancer. Issues that have made the foundation of something shaky can be addressed. You may need to tackle some emotional issues too. The Moon is strong in Cancer. Here we long to take care of family, keeping them safe and well.

🩵On 8 October -venus enters virgo, after a long time being in leo. Venus in Leo gave a lot of childish energy, fun, nostalgia, romance, mainly happy things. Venus in Virgo will make things more demanding or picky. Maybe during this time you will work more for yourself and your routine. Maybe you'll be more picky in love and with who u spend time with. Paying close attention to the people you care about can be something you slide into more often over the coming. You can finally start to take things a little more seriously. You will be more practical.

🌊On 10 October -Pluto will go direct in Capricorn- Pluto retrograde coming to an end means you can start to see transformations picking back up again. With Pluto nearing the end of its time in Capricorn, you may focus on finishing changes with your goals, direction, responsibilities, or structures. You will see how much you have changed during this time, how your life has changed and how deeply pluto has affected your life and what it has contributed to you. Pluto is strong in the sign of Capricorn. Which means that everything you experienced during these years is only something that made you stronger. For all Capricorn risings you will get everything you wanted - a reward. Many karmic relationships and things that started in 2012 may end. Ask yourself how you feel after everything you've been through (especially capricorn risings).

💧On 12 October mars enters scorpio-Scorpio is a passionate, intense, and deep sign, so Mars in Scorpio means your energy and drive becomes more passionate, intense, deep , the more your possessiveness will be felt, the actions will have a deeper meaning. This is a very good time to work and create things for which you feel a deep passion.

🛼On 14 October Solar Eclipse in Libra -This is the first eclipse in Libra and the Libra Solar Eclipse can be excellent for new partnerships, commitments, and compromises. You can be diplomatic and charming and strive to get everyone on the same page. It will affect the cardinal signs the most. I will talk more about this in a separate post.

🏹On 20 October- Sun in Libra Conjunct Mercury in Libra this mean that mental energy can be strong, and you can focus on new ideas and put together plans. This transit is also good for writing, talking, debating and expressing yourself in any way. Something you began 6-8 weeks ago may culminate now.

🌸On 21 October- First Quarter Moon in Capricorn There can be adjustments that need to be made over the next week with your long-term plans. Make sure you’re seeing the big picture. You may choose to get more structured. Set your goals and follow them through. It knows that true success comes from the heart. Moon trine Uranus- people are more sociable and open to interaction. This is an excellent time for dates and trying something new, such as skydiving or dancing classes.Moon conj Pluto-you may have your emotions deeply stirred by an intense encounter that brings deep rooted issues to the surface.

🍸On 22 October Mercury Enters Scorpio-Mental energy can become intense over the coming weeks, and you can throw yourself into anything that interests you. You will be more inclined to explore truth and deeper things. There will be a lot more deep conversations and stuff. The words will be sharper, truer, deeper and more painful.

Venus in Virgo Trine Jupiter in Taurus -It can be easier to get along with others, and you may benefit from someone in your life. You can enjoy time with others and may want to bring in new people. Relationships will feel more stable and beautiful.

Mercury in Scorpio Trine Saturn in Pisces -Controlling mental energy can be easier, and you can channel your mental energy into something productive. You can make great long-term plans as well.

🦂On 23 October Sun Enters Scorpio- Passion, intensity, and transformations can be elevated during Scorpio Season, and you can make beneficial transformations, share with others, and increase passion. You can also leave many things behind during this time and transform yourself through this energy. Find personal power and use this well.

💕On 25 October Moon in Pisces Conjunct Neptune in Pisces- Focusing on your goals can help you work on your long-term plans. This is also good for manifesting. You will now feel everything that is otherwise just a dream as real.

⭐️On 28 October Lunar Eclipse in Taurus⭐️

The Taurus Lunar Eclipse can bring the culmination of financial projects and changes that you began 1-2 years ago, and you can remove blocks to stability and security. Now the reward for which you have worked for so long will come. Taurus is a fixed sign, which means that values, views, money, relationships will be greatly changed and a completely new perspective will open. Something that you deeply appreciated before, now you won't anymore. Moon will enters Taurus -Ground yourself right now because the Lunar Eclipse can trigger strong emotional energy. Grounding yourself can help you control some of it. Mercury in Scorpio Opposite Jupiter in Taurus -Your outlook can be positive, and you likely only want to be optimistic but may have difficulty fully seeing the big picture. Try taking a step back.

🖤On 29 October Mercury in Scorpio Conjunct Mars in Scorpio -Ideas can come to you quickly, and you can get excited by what you come up with, what you learn, or what you hear. You may want to take action quickly with one of your ideas.

✨On 31 October Venus in Virgo Trine Uranus in Taurus/ Halloween -Making changes in your relationships or dealings with others can prove to be beneficial, and you can find new ways to connect. You can be more open to new people as well.

-Rebekah🌸🌙🩷

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #astrological houses #full moon #mars in scorpio #mercury in scorpio #libra mercury #libra season #solar eclipse #lunar eclipse

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thehighpriestexx420 · 9 months

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🔮✨What do they think + feel about you? ✨🔮 (& Advice!)

Find out by choosing the pile of tarot cards you're drawn to!

From left to right - Pile 1, Pile 2, and Pile 3.

Pile 1 (Opal) :

There's a decision to be made here. For some of you, you're deciding between 2 people to persue. For the rest of you, you're deciding whether or not you should persue 1 person.

For the ones deciding between 2 people, there's a person who's holding most of your attention and is more direct in their interest towards you. They may seem like the obvious choice because the other person you're considering is more in the background, more shy, and/or seems more unattainable. But things aren't always what they seem - including any obstacles you're perceiving.

For all of you, you're scared someone doesn't like you and you aren't giving yourself enough credit.

Fear is something we all experience (unless you have a condition) and we all have the ability to act despite it. You're perceiving this situation as an immense task - like the person in the 2 of Wands card looking at the mountains they have to climb before them. Regardless of if it's actually immense or not, you have the immense ability to create your own life - like the person standing on top of the mountains in the Your Life Is A Canvas card.

Free yourself from any limits and doubts you place on yourself. Rise above like the bird in the Judgement card. Choose the person you truly want to persue. Believe in yourself, know you're deserving of what you want, and align your energy, thoughts, and actions with the same vibration of what you want. What would someone confident enough to pursue your person tell themselves? Work on it.

Because the cards didn't give a direct answer as to how your person thinks and feels about you, I asked the Romance Angels deck.

The "obvious" one's main energy towards you is passion. They're really into you and want to express that physically.

The "less obvious" one's card is Stay Optimistic About Your Love Life - Positive Thinking + Faith Will Bring You Romance.

Again, the cards aren't giving you a direct answer. But they are telling you what you *need* to hear. This serves as a test. What will you choose - will you take the card's advice and truly have faith or will you allow your anxiety about not being told their feelings overcome you?

For those making a judgement about whether or not you should pursue 1 person, this could serve as a message of advice and their feelings for you.

For most of you, you're being encouraged to make them an offer - ask them out on a date, talk about your feelings, ask to make your relationship official, etc.

For some of you, you're being asked to work on your self-concept enough to where they would be interested in you and say yes to your offer. This is an encouraging sign and tells you this is obtainable.

Either way, heed the card's advice.

If this reading resonates with you and you'd like to have a more detailed personal reading, feel free to ask me about the pricing for my tarot services! Starting out at $5 per question.

Pile 2 (Fluorite) :

This is the beginning of you and your person's connection so whatever they're thinking and feeling towards you is growing and is too early to say. You plant the seeds of your impression and your connection with them. Choose carefully what you're planting - make sure you're tending to the connection with love, respect, and care. Whatever you're planting is already growing and has a very good chance of evolving into the next step of your relationship.

With the 6 of Swords, this indicates you've moved on from a difficult time. With the 7 of Pentacles, this could be the reasoning behind this period of contemplation within your connection. You're being told that this connection does hold a lot of potential - you just have to do your part in maintaining a healthy connection.

With The Golden Children card, your advice is to treat yourself and others with more tenderness and like they're innocent children. Try to remember we're all doing the best we can with what we have. Try to trust that this situation will play out as it's supposed to.

If this reading resonates with you and you'd like to have a more detailed personal reading, feel free to ask me about the pricing for my tarot services! Starting out at $5 per question.

Pile 3 (Fairy Quartz) :

Your person wants to work on your relationship - there's hope for it. You're being asked to trust in that. Release yourself from doubt, paranoia, impatience, and anything holding you back from your potential. These are merely false realities The Devil card portrays. Connect with the part of you that knows all is well and as it should be. Peace of mind isn't dependent on outcomes or situations.

If this reading resonates with you and you'd like to have a more detailed personal reading, feel free to ask me about the pricing for my tarot services! Starting out at $5 per question.

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ygsunflower · 8 months

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I was listening to Post Show Recaps podcast reviewing Special Ops: Lioness Ep 1 & 2. and the two hosts brought up something that inspired me to dive a little bit deeper into Cruz’s character: They pointed out that the Marine officer was kind of using Cruz’s trauma/experience to recruit her. They then mentioned in the US how going to the military sometime is a mean for people to be able to afford college education. The fact that they are just high school graduates, barely 18 years old, and they are signing up for something that might be so much bigger than what they could comprehend at such a young age is crazy. Their conversation got me thinking, this also fits Cruz’s narrative with the military. I mean, I always low key view this show as a military/CIA propaganda recruiting program, but these two hosts made me view Cruz’s journey through a new lens (though not sure this is what the show intended for us to see)- Cruz almost serves as the opposite example of why the young teens/adults, especially troubled individuals, should join the military without hesitations for the second chance it might provide them.

Cruz had a tough upbringing, and even into her early adulthood, her life was full of chaos, abuses, instabilities, and she was unloved. Her first military encounter was so positive that she jumped right on it as her means to get out of her toxic relationship/environment. The Marine officer literally saved her from her abusive boyfriend. You can’t get that “hero/savior” image more straightforward than this. So just like those teens/young adults, she joins the military for a simple reason- it allows her to achieve whatever she wants to in the future. This opportunity gives her a future. Of course, she wasn’t really thinking the deeper meaning of being a marine and being in the military. She probably just thought- oh so apparently I performed well on the written test, and I just aced my physical exam. And on paper, military saves life, so why not? Things will only go up and life will get easier and simpler from now on. Little did she know, and even little did she prepared for the harsh implication of joining the military.

She would probably be fine if she just stayed as a Marine or a typical soldier, because neither depends much on her to perform solo. She got to excel, but she also had the protection of an unit. It’s only when she was thrown into a solo espionage mission where she only had herself making all the on the spot decisions which could lead to the life or death of not just the mission, but also her own life, her team’s lives, and possibly the government’s interests, she started to really consider the weight of being in this line of work. She started to question what she singed herself up for all those years back. I imagine her internal turmoil kept growing as she met Aaliyah and started to develop true feelings for her. With each passing day, Cruz’s realization that this life is not what she wanted only grew. She’s not made for this type of work, at least not as fit for the work as her boss, Joe. In the last episode, Cruz completely lost it, and screamed this in Joes’s face- Joe subscribes to the ideology of the CIA work, and she truly believes in it. As much as this job demands of her, she’s making the conscious decision to pursue it because that’s what she considers necessary for the just/noble cause (in her view). Cruz wasn’t like that at all. This new perspective also helped explain in my head why Cruz sometimes seem a little un-spy-like because this is literally the point. The longer she stays in this mission, the more uncomfortable and unfit she becomes for the job. She joined so she could have safety, stability, and a possibility of the freer future. In my head, she didn’t mind/care much about the military’s ideology until it went against her feeling loved for the first time in her life. And from that moment on, the cruel reality of being in the military became insufferable. What she thought could be a mean to her ideal life turns out to be the force that prevents and even destroys her chance of ever living her ideal life with her loved one... So in the end of S1, Cruz was alone, lost, and broken because her dream was once again shattered by reality.

Laysla really nailed Cruz’s internal turmoil in my opinion. The rigid posture, the hesitation, the pained and dulled eyes… You see how Cruz broke down little by little throughout the season. You see just how much all these burdens and conflicting feelings were eating her up alive especially when she’s with Aaliyah.

Hope we get a S2 where we get to see them exploring more of Cruz Manuelos, and the Aaliyah x Cruz relationship after the bloodshed. I’d love to see how this incident affects Cruz and Aaliyah.

#character study?#I clearly have a lot of feelings about the show and the character #😂#cruz manuelos #laysla de oliveira #aaliyah x cruz #special ops: lioness

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lirotation · 6 months

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I Hail From Silverymoon: The Desperation

POV my dream. I dreamed a little adventure with Astarion. I think I was Amaara in the dream because he referred to me as a wizard. In the dream there was this intense emotion of wanting to do anything for him. This was a couple weeks ago. Though I awoke happy, it showed my unhealthy obsession.

I smoothed the dream logic a little bit and wrote a fanfic based on it. Everything in purple is what actually happened in the dream. The dream will forever remain a treasured happy memory.

Astarion X Amaara (My wizard Tav)

_______________________

After pursuing rumors of a high cleric capable of reversing vampirism, Amaara and Astarion found themselves before a decrepit grand church in a dark, ominous realm. Through the imposing metal gates, hideous creatures wandered the courtyard. There must be hundreds of them

Amaara tensed, ready to charge in spells blazing. But Astarion halted her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Remember you're a wizard, not a barbarian," he chided gently with a chuckle. "Let's slip through unseen."

Chagrined, Amaara nodded. She waved an invisibility spell on both of them and followed Astarion's lead as he stealthily picked the lock on a side door. They crept along moss-eaten halls, alert for any sign of the mysterious cleric.

Mosaics on the walls depicted divine warriors vanquishing fiends. But the crumbling chapel they passed was defiled with dark sigils. Something evil lurked here beneath the holy trappings.

A rasping chant echoed down the shadowy halls. Peering into the sanctuary, Amaara and Astarion beheld a towering, ghostly figure kneeling in prayer amidst flickering candles.

Their eyes met, and without a word, Amaara and Astarion silently communicated their intention to proceed with caution. Amaara stepped forward, making her presence known by clearing her throat softly. The spirit turned toward them, his translucent form exuding an otherworldly glow that cast strange shadows on the chapel's walls.

With a serene expression, the spirit regarded them and, surprisingly, offered a warm and welcoming smile. His ethereal voice, like a gentle breeze, filled the air. "Greetings, travelers," he intoned, “I am Rhys, guardian of this holy place. What brings you here across the realms?"

Amaara stepped forward, offering a respectful nod. "I am Amaara Ashvale," she began, her voice steady. "We have come seeking your aid.”

Amaara hesitated only briefly before sharing their quest for a way to restore life to Astarion. She spoke of their relentless pursuit of rumors that had led them to this church, in search of a cleric rumored to possess the power to undo the curse.

As she finished recounting their journey, the spirit’s gaze seemed to penetrate their very souls, as if he were assessing the purity of their intentions. Finally, he spoke, his voice resonating with a sense of wisdom and compassion. "You seek redemption and salvation, both for your companion and your own souls. Such a noble endeavor should not go unanswered."

He beckoned them closer. "Come, and we shall commune on the matter."

Kneeling, the cleric took their hands. Closing his eyes, he began chanting softly. The markings on his arms glowed brighter as he summoned the divine power to scry Astarion's soul.

a staggering wave of divine energy pulsated through the chamber, a might that could rival that of demigods. Amaara and Astarion locked eyes, the sheer power coursing through them leaving no doubt that this ethereal being commanded the forces of life and death. Guarded hope shone in Astarion's crimson gaze - perhaps this awe-inspiring display meant the cleric truly could unravel his vampiric curse.

After some time, the cleric let go of their hands, he stood up, "I can indeed help you. follow me, my children."

The cleric led them to a ritual chamber well-stocked with arcane components. "We have nearly everything needed to undo this condition," He explained, gesturing at the shelves.

The cleric went on, "There are but two fresh ingredients lacking - the heart of a nightwalker, and the catalyst of life itself."

"One of them is easy," he continued. "The heart of the nightwalker. We have one in the courtyard, surrounded by his bodaks. It wouldn't be too challenging for capable warriors like you."

Amaara inclined her head, her resolve firm. "We can handle that."

"The other one, the most important catalyst, is life," Rhys explained solemnly. "You cannot find any sentient life here normally, but again, the boy is lucky. We have one single life in this realm right now."

A heavy silence fell as the grave implication sank in. As the only living soul present, Amaara herself was the final catalyst.

Astarion grabbed her hand, turning to go. "Ridiculous, we're leaving," he snapped angrily.

But Rhys held up a placating hand. "Please, hear me. For one powerful such as she, only half her lifespan is required."

Astarion's brows furrowed in confusion, and he glanced at Amaara, who appeared equally taken aback. "Half?" Astarion echoed.

Seeing their confusion, The cleric explained, "As a gifted wizard with almost 2 centuries ahead, sacrificing half would be no great loss. A fair price for restoring life."

Astarion’s grasp tightened on Amaara’s hand, he looked into her eyes and shook his head, “No, nonono, don’t you even think about it.” He knew too well the determination in her eyes, "This is madness," he muttered.

Amaara gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "A sacrifice, yes, but one we're willing to make," she said gently.

Seeing Astarion's turmoil, she added with a faint, teasing smile, "I would look like Elminster without his beard at 100 anyway, I would like you to remember me as how I look now."

“This is so you,” Astarion snapped, “The answer is no. There will be other ways. We still have plenty of time, you don’t need to do this.”

“We traveled across the realms. All effort ended up in disappointment. This is the closest we’ve gotten. Once we leave this realm, we will not be able to enter again. I don’t want to give up on this chance.” Amaara said firmly. “It is my decision.”

“It is our decision. I won’t do it. You can’t make me.” Astarion’s tone matched Amaara’s firmness. His scarlet gaze shining with desperate intensity. "This sacrifice would haunt us both eternally. Each sunrise hereafter would be tainted by regret, each hour a reminder of what you lost."

“My love,” Amaara’s tone softened, “I know you care about me, but it is really not that big of a sacrifice. We will go seek Elminster out after we are done here. The relic of a wizard must have some spell to prolong lifespan.” She held his hand up and kissed it gently, "we've been traveling for a long time now. I would love to settle down for a while. Just the two of us, and a little house. A dog. Maybe…raise a family."

Amaara's willingness to offer half of her lifespan was a testament to her love and determination, and it both warmed his heart and broke it. Astarion closed his eyes, emotions churning violently within him. She spoke of it so casually, as if her very existence were coins to be casually bartered. “Gods damn it. Gods damn it all!”

"You fear binding me to regret. But I could never regret giving you back the life stolen from you." Amaara brought a hand up to cradle his cheek. "Granting you days bathed in sunlight and nights no longer haunted by bloodlust would fill my heart with joy."

Seeing him unconvinced, she smiled tenderly. "Let me do this, as you would do anything to protect me."

Astarion closed his eyes, leaning into her palm, her words washing over him. She spoke true - had their positions been reversed, he would offer his life in a heartbeat if it preserved hers.

Could he allow her the same choice? The gift of sacrifice willingly given out of deepest love? Perhaps accepting this sacrifice was the only way to honor the depth of her devotion.

"If this is your wish…" he rasped finally, scarlet gaze meeting hers, still swirling with doubt even as he acquiesced. She sealed her promise with a kiss, assuring him all would be well.

They turned back to the cleric, who was silently watching them. Amaara said, “We will proceed. I will be the catalyst.”

The spirit’s shining eyes lit up even brighter. And he paced from one end of the room to the other, muttering to himself what he needed.

The cleric's eagerness to proceed with the ritual put Amaara on edge. As he hastily gathered arcane components, her gaze followed him and she suddenly tensed.

She took Astarion's arm firmly and abruptly, then Amaara said in a calm voice, "First we must retrieve the nightwalker's heart you require. We will return swiftly."

The cleric's eyes narrowed, but he said benevolently. "Of course. I shall prepare the ritual space until your return."

As soon as they were out of sight, Amaara quickened their pace toward the exit. The maze-like halls blurred past until finally they burst through the decrepit doors into the foul air outside.

Amaara quickly waved a high level confusion spell that covered a huge area, then she broke into a run, half-dragging Astarion along. They ran past all the creatures that were attacking each other. She didn't cease until the warped spires of the grand church were far behind them.

Now a safe distance from the church, Amaara finally slowed her frantic pace, bending double and gasping for breath. She managed a weak, relieved laugh, the sound tinged with bitterness.

Astarion had been silent throughout their hurried escape. He peered at her intently and asked, "Did you change your mind?"

Amaara straightened, meeting his gaze with frustration simmering in her eyes. "No. But it seems I've lost my good judgment in my desperation."

“He was too eager, even I wouldn’t be so eager to help someone I just met.” She explained, “ I was watching him prepare and noticed items meant to reconstruct a physical form - grave dust, dragon scales, pieces of bones. Your body remains intact, you do not need these. The implications are clear - this spirit sought my life not to restore yours, but to rebuild his own corrupted mortal shell.” She gave a harsh, hollow laugh. “I thought this was it, the miracle we had sought for years. What foolishness, to trust so readily a spirit encountered in a wretched realm."

Amaara’s voice is tight with pain. "I've grown so desperate that I ignored all logic and instinct. I nearly fell prey to honeyed lies that appealed only to my heart's yearning."

Seeing her crestfallen expression, Astarion stepped closer. "Don't blame yourself. After all the disappointments, it's only natural to reach for a glimmer of hope"

He said gently. "You saw through the deception in time. We'll find another way. I must admit, I didn’t really want to go through with it anyways."

Leaning into him, Amaara allowed herself a moment of vulnerability. "I just want this torment to end for you," she whispered. "But hope makes me reckless."

Astarion held her close, letting her composure crack. "Hope also lights our way ahead," he murmured. "Don't lose it, for it makes you who you are."

Together they stood in solemn silence. The cleric's twisted machinations had dealt a painful blow, one of countless disappointments eroding Amaara's spirit through their long journey.

She could feel desperation taking root inside her, clouding judgment and discernment. How much more could her soul endure before hope became but a memory?

Amaara shuddered at the thought, and Astarion felt it. He tightened his embrace and rubbed her back comfortingly. He whispered, "Perhaps we should take a break, settle down somewhere pretty, get a little house like you wanted."

She slowly relaxed under his touch, allowing herself to imagine a nice little house next to a pretty waterfall. Little boy with her green eyes and his silver hair playing under the sun. It seemed…nice, but also boring. Then a realization surfaced within her. She had become obsessed with the destination - finding a cure. But surrounded by his scent of Bergamot and rosemary right now, she understood the journey had its own profound joy.

She looked up at him, shook her head, "I was so focused on the end goal, I overlooked the gift of our time together." She touched her forehead to his, never wanting to let him go. "Being by your side is home, I see that now"

Astarion's eyes softened as he gently rubbed his nose against hers. "You renew my spirit," he murmured, "just as I hope I renew yours."

They held each other close, two weary souls deriving hope from shared strength. Their end goal waited over the horizon. But for now, the journey itself was home.

_________________________

The actual ending of the dream is that I put a warning sign on the gate of the church so other Tavs who are on the same journey with Astarion can avoid this place. hahaha, dream logic.

#I do want more dream like this!#astarion #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fanart #baldur's gate 3 #astarion fanart #astarion fanfiction #balders gate 3 #bg3 #procreate #i hail from silverymoon #my tav #amaara ashvale #weird dreams

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ptn-imagines · 2 months

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can you write romantic relationship headcanons about mcqueen where the reader is also a sinner ? :D

Here you go! Admittedly I feel like there wasn't enough Sinner-specific stuff, so I added in the MBCC stuff for that reason. I'm also putting this one beneath a read more due to allusions to McQueen's self-destructive tendencies.

Romantic relationship between McQueen and Sinner!Reader

You have never heard of “the path of least resistance.” The harder they are to get, the more you want them. Or you’re just crazy. Possibly both.

The path to actually dating McQueen is going to be a long one. Oh, there will be flirting, touching, dates and possibly even more, in no small amount; however, being a Sinner isn’t a free pass into McQueen’s confidence.

The fact of the matter is that, at least at first, she is absolutely using you. You’re a fun toy to play with for a bit, and she’ll discard you when she gets bored of you. And she will get bored of you if you don’t do something to grab her attention permanently.

If you truly want to pursue a relationship with McQueen, you’ll first have to be able to see through her disguise. Background knowledge of the art world will help, but the second McQueen has you eating out of her palm, you’ve already lost your chance.

Secondly, you have to sympathize with her pain and understand what led her to this path. If you can’t do that, you’ll forever be held at arms’ length, and that’s if you’re lucky. McQueen has a lot of power, after all, and it wouldn’t be terribly difficult for her to make a troublesome Sinner sniffing around in her affairs disappear.

If you support her in her destructive path, your relationship will ultimately be a short-lived but passionate one. The two of you will burn down the filthy, sinful world around you for sure, but you’ll likewise be consumed by the inferno. You’ll have no regrets, though, and likely you’ll go to your ruination at your own hand with a vindictive sense of satisfaction.

If you want something longer-term that won’t destroy the both of you in the end, however, you need to rebuke her. Sympathize but don’t support; McQueen will scorn any idea that she can be redeemed, and indeed it’s likely she’s too entrenched in what she does to ever truly abandon it, but it’ll chip away at her defenses. Though she’ll deny it, McQueen still has fleeting fantasies about the what ifs, if her mentor hadn’t found her that fateful day. Seeing something in her she thinks is no longer attainable, giving her hope, is what will ultimately win you favor.

You’ll end up dating McQueen long before she allows herself to actually be vulnerable around you. McQueen is a whirlwind of messy feelings and contradictions and for her, the falling-in-love part comes before the development of true trust. This is going to be infuriating. There’s no two ways around it. Still, if you got this far, you knew what you signed up for. Nevertheless, no one is going to blame you if you back out now, least of all McQueen; in fact, that’s what she expects. It’s what she thinks she deserves.

Patience is key. You should be cautious about pushing McQueen past her limits when it comes to vulnerability, but at the same time don’t let her be too evasive and dodge uncomfortable subjects all the time. Her first instinct is to flee from emotional situations and avoid vulnerability and intimacy. It’s nothing to do with you, it’s just an ingrained survival instinct and trauma response in her; however, if you don’t hold her by the metaphorical scruff from time-to-time, your patience will dry up long before you make any progress with her.

Ultimately, if you can be patient with her and rein in her self-destructive tendencies, you’ll end up with a partner who might seem flamboyant and insincere to an outsider, but is in actuality incredibly attentive and adoring of you. McQueen knows your preferences down to the most minute detail, and if you’ve gotten this far, her extravagant demeanor clearly didn’t put you off. She’ll go above and beyond to spoil you, and she’ll never mess it up; each day with her will be a surprise. Just don’t think too hard about how she’s funding all this.

In addition, McQueen is incredibly tuned in to your emotional needs, and can pick up on minute cues that most others will miss. Most of the time you might not even know you’re giving off these cues; McQueen likes to joke about it by saying she’s a mind-reader.

On rare nights, if you’re lucky, you’ll get to see the side of McQueen that she’s tried to leave dead and buried. If you’ve comforted her in the wake of a terrible nightmare, held her as she shook from a particularly bad flashback, talked her down from the height of her self-harming impulses… Know that McQueen is trusting you with everything that she is. Be kind and gentle with her. She doesn’t think she deserves it, but it’s what she needs. She hates herself enough as it is. Don’t reinforce that.

Don’t expect to ever get married to McQueen, either; the whole dating thing is hard enough for her. Still, if you’ve gotten to this point, you hardly need a piece of paper to cement your relationship to one another; McQueen isn’t going anywhere unless you yourself break it off.

In the MBCC, expect McQueen to spend a lot of time around you and show you off to the other Sinners, bragging about her amazing partner. If this bothers you, tell her; contrary to the expectations many might hold of her, she’ll quit that behavior right away. You’re the most important thing to her, after all, even more so than her revenge. She can probably live without her revenge. After all, that Chief is monitoring her actions. Living without you, though? That’s an idea she doesn’t even want to entertain.

Some of McQueen’s old habits might slip through, and you might catch her flirting with MBCC staff or other Sinners. It’s not serious and she’s not even really thinking about it. Still, call her out on it if it bothers you, and… Well, she can’t promise it’ll never happen again, as flirting is part of the persona she wears, but she’ll make a concerted effort to stop, and you’ll definitely notice the dramatic decrease in flirtations.

She’s going to complain constantly about not being able to share a cell with you. You could probably convince the Chief if you want to, though. If not… Well, she’ll cope.

If you have any scruples with her forged artworks, be careful not to express any interest in any artwork, though, lest you find yourself the new owner of an “authentic” McQueen piece.

Also… If you notice your enemies in Eastside suddenly going missing or winding up dead… Well, McQueen won’t say she was involved, but she also won’t say she wasn’t. Don’t worry, though; nobody will ever connect the deaths and disappearances to you. She’s got skills that the Garden would respect, after all.

#ptn #path to nowhere #mcqueen #ptn mcqueen #path to nowhere mcqueen #ptn headcanons #path to nowhere headcanons

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hiroshikoi · 2 years

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Messages For You Before You Go to Sleep

Pick a Pile: Intuitive Reading

Pile One-Pile Two-Pile Three

Hi! I haven’t posted a pick-a-pile in a while, so for a little warm-up (lmao) here’s a short reading for y’all!

Thank you for 500 followers!! 🥰❤️

How to Pick a Pile: Take the time to look at each character above. Which one sparks a memory? What emotions do you feel? Do you feel anything at all? If all piles spark a memory, choose which one is the strongest. If none, try to go with the one that draws you in the most otherwise, these messages are not meant for you (at this time).

Pile One

Guard your heart, but try to not get too cold. Be discerning. There may be people trying to get a rise out of you.

Remember that you’re in control of how you receive anything from anyone, even though the message may naturally make you react in a certain way… be at peace with again, knowing that you’re in control of how you choose to respond, you’re in control of yourself. Therefore, they truly won’t be able to get to you, if you choose to not let them. 💪🏻

Other random messages: You may receive a sum of money in a few hours. Most likely because its payday…?

Pile Two

Smile once in a while. There are things to be happy about or at least to feel/react positively to. Let yourself laugh… “even though you don’t think its that funny” 🤣🤣🤡 (There may be someone trying to pursue you romantically/has a crush on you/is romantically interested in you right now) The universe ‘gives’ these to you to cheer you up. It may not be completely what you want, but it *is* something. And you should start appreciating that.

Things will eventually change for the better. You may have to try to be more present in the moment. See the silver lining in things, and be thankful for what you have now.

Time flies quite fast.. Next moment you know, everyone is at a different stage in their life (I’m particularly getting when it comes to age… 😥) If applicable, be kinder to your mother, to your parents, to your family. You won’t regret it ❤️

Pile Three

You’re allowed to splurge 🤪🥴. Get that diamond necklace, concert ticket, cute dress that you think you may not look the best in because of your body but you really want it anyway because its super cute—

You’re allowed to have fun with life! Experiment. Its time to live!! Y’know the pandemic may have put a pause into things, and you may be more conservative before that world event happened. But I’m particularly getting that you may have to take that as a sign to be a little more ~risky~ with your choices. Even just with your haircut or hair color! Take all these things available in the world as little nuggets of stuff you should try. I know not everyone has the money to, but try box dye, or someone may give you clothing that they want to give away! Try different ways of tucking your clothes, or change the top you’d usually wear with certain bottoms of yours.

#divination #intuitive reading #pick a card reading #pick a pile reading #free intuitive readings #pac reading #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #pick a picture #intuitive readings #channeled messages

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overandundertarot · 1 year

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How can you improve your finances?

Pick a picture(1-4)

Please keep in mind that this is a general reading so not everything may resonate for you.

PILE ONE:

Cards; Page of swords, 5 of wands, 9 of cups reversed.

Being slightly detached, don't put all you eggs in one basket, so to speak. There are a lot of oppportunities coming up for you right now or soon. Try out different ventures, all the while trusting your intuition and using it as a guide, if something does not work out take it in stride and do something new. You may have many interests and you are being encouraged to pursue them. You may be ambitious, going after the next hunt and playing the game, good. Keep at it. Eventually, if you are called to settle down you will know.

PILE TWO:

Cards; 4 of pentacles reversed, The Hermit.

You may have an issue with holding on to money. What you are being asked to do is to carry out a bit of introspection on your spending habits. Why do you feel the impulse to spend the money? Are you spending the money oN things that could really benefit your life? Be a bit strict with yourself, try to spend money only on what you need or what is meaningful to you. Look into certain minimalist philososphies and how these have impacted the lives of the people who practice them, and try and see if you couLd do the same. What would you keep? What would you discard? The solution to your financial troubles would be to take a more frugal approach to your life, before anything else can be done. Some of you could also benefit by educating yourself about pernsonal finance. eg budgeting and moving away from prioritising the material world/things.

PILE THREE:

Cards ; 10 of wands, The magician.

Pile three you're feeling quite weighed down. You have a lot of financial responsibilities that you feel are holding you back from enjoying life. You have a lot of things you want to do, thats why you wanna improve your finances; you want to have a lot of new and cool experiences but the ones you've previously started before are tying you down like shackles. Pile three you have to listen to your intuition, you have a lot of energy amd talent but it has been misguided. It needs to be directed to the proper channels and careful consideration needs to be taken before you can start a new financial prospect/journey. Also, you need to tie up your lose ends so that you can have the time and energy that you need to direct into the proper channels freed up. Trust your intuition and maybe look for some signs of confirmation to find what it is you have to focus on.

PILE FOUR:

Cards; 8 of swords reversed, King of swords.

Pile four you are unsure about what to do in your situation. Some of you are doubting whether you should continue as you were in your finances, some of you are refusing to leave a situation that isn't serving you anymore and some of you are scared of success. It may be overwhelming and I'm getting the image of someone confused with no idea what to do, they are frozen, immobile. The best course of action is to cut through this state of confusion with logic. Analyse your sistuation and make a plan on paper, what are the projections? The most logical course of action is the right one to take and it is the one that will get you the results you want.

***

These pictures ae not mine, I found them on pinterest!

Thank you so much for participating in this pick a card reading!!!

Please don't hesitate to tell me if it resonated, i'd truly love to know!

#tarot pick a card #tarot #tarotblr #free reading #intuitive reading #pac #tarot pac #tarot reading #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #divination

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fbfh · 1 year

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hiya!! i rlly love ur writing especially your lovesick eddie content! i noticed u haven’t been writing for him as much lately so i was wondering if you’re still writing for him could we get some lovesick eddie fluff? pls don’t feel pressured to write anything tho!!! ♥️♥️♥️

thank you so much babes!!!!! <333 I'm pretty much constantly cycling through the same hyperfixations I keep adding to like a really big luggage carousel so even if I'm not writing for someone atm I probably will be soon lol

Eddie notices when you start to fall for him. he notices the transition as the tangible distance you always keep between you, something he never pushes or tries to overstep, starts to grow smaller and softer. you're okay if your arms brush a little as you walk now, or if you can feel each other's body heat for a moment while he opens your door. it makes him giddy. it makes him fucking giddy because it feels like you're starting to trust him. he never thought you just see him the way everyone else does, but this is proof of that. this is proof that you're okay being close to him. and with how long you've had his full attention (which is a very long time) he knows that's not something that happens easily at all for you. even when you were dating that guy from the basketball team, Eddie could see the way you'd tense up slightly when he got too close, invaded your personal space. he never understood why he did that. was he just trying to make you get closer to him without having to do any of the work? could he not even pick up on your cues, your body language? it just didn't make sense. if you really care about someone, you should pay attention to things like that. which Eddie always does. it's something that didn't go unnoticed by you, even if a lot of it was subliminal. it was almost strange how he never pushed you, never tried to get closer, never seemed to even consider pursuing you like an animal the way every other guy you've ever met has tried to, at least a little. you can't lie, this realization sunk in hard. it's not just a guy thing like all your friends always say it is, it's not a sign that they like you, it's exactly what you thought it was. they're motivated by the wrong thing, and don't care about your comfort or boundaries. but Eddie does. Eddie prioritizes your comfort, he never tries to make a move on you unless you instigate it. he only started holding your hand, gazing at the spot on your knuckles where he longs to press a kiss after one night a while ago, when you'd grabbed his hand, squeezing it in a thanks. the way he holds your hand is so tender, so gentle that you know if you pulled away, he wouldn't try again. you don't admit to yourself how truly sad you'd be if he stopped, so instead, you always wait for him to let go first. after so long of Eddie being so loudly, publicly and obviously in love with you, not as a stunt or a gimick, but just as a form of self expression, you realized that this is it. he's not going to push for anything, not going to try and win you over like an easily tricked child. he's laid his heart on the table, and he's leaving it there for you if you want it. you won't be able to put it into words for a while, but all of this is what makes you really start to fall for him. it's also what compells you to make him dizzy, make his head spin when finally pull him into a tight hug one night after he walks you to his car.

#drabbles #loud simp!eddie #lovestruck!eddie #eddie munson #eddie munson drabbles #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things drabbles #stranger things fluff #core memory formed #he's blushing giggling bouncing off the walls all night #he literally doesn't sleep #can't pay attention in class even more than usual the next day #you sent him to cloud 9 and he's gonna be there all week

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esther-dot · 11 months

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Hot take but Asha bores me. She’s another one of GRRM’s action girls where he can’t be bothered to give them flaws (unlikable, fatal flaws). She’s not at all some brand new and revolutionary character the way fandom hypes her up to be. She exhibits almost all the tropes you’d expect her to and is a pretty conventional character all things considered.

If she were truly any better than the other Ironborn in any kind of conventionally moral sense, none of them would have respected her. She’s clearly fine leading the Ironmen to rape, invade, and pillage up and down the coasts of Westeros. She completely absorbed the Ironborn lifestyle and loves it. She was complicit with the culture for years. It’s expected (justly and with good reason) for Theon to grapple with the horror and immorality of reaving, and his own role in it. But Asha kind of gets away with it. She contemplates its prudence and sustainability, but readers are never fully faced with the reality of what she does, and are arguably invited to see her as Supercool Kickass Feminist Warrior instead.

Me: my anons are clearly working as a group to get me kicked out of the fandom

Also me: Outrageous. I’ll be damned if I’m the slacker in this group project! 😂

I wasn't aware that Asha was that hyped! She seemed to be Martin's attempt to have someone of the culture be a little more reasonable/not as bloodthirsty

"And if I shout your name?" Harmund demanded. "What then?"

"Peace," said Asha. "Land. Victory. I'll give you Sea Dragon Point and the Stony Shore, black earth and tall trees and stones enough for every younger son to build a hall. We'll have the northmen too . . . as friends, to stand with us against the Iron Throne. Your choice is simple. Crown me, for peace and victory. Or crown my nuncle, for more war and more defeat." She sheathed her dirk again. "What will you have, ironmen?"

"VICTORY!" shouted Rodrik the Reader, his hands cupped about his mouth. "Victory, and Asha!" (AFFC, The Drowned Man)

so I think she's meant to be a nuance within the framework of the Ironborn, but I see what you're saying. Pointing out the practicality of something is not commentary on morality or a sign that she would be able to completely change things. You’re probably right that the kind of fantasy tropes she hits help her go uncriticized.

Now that I think about it though, the trope may be old, but she is written in an interesting way within the context of ASOIAF. Asha would pursue a practical peace where Dany can't quite manage, Asha has ambition that Sansa totally lacks, she does not have the romantic nature that both Sansa and Dany have, and she is certainly not as evil as Cersei, but some of her lines comment on sexism in a similar way. So she is potentially a way to round out the female POVs if we read it generously. She will never go as far as Dany or Cersei, she will never be as compassionate as Sansa.

I suppose more importantly, Asha has one of those lines that seem significant as far as understanding the war v peace struggle and where a character falls:

A throwing axe was in her hand. She tossed it in the air and caught it deftly. "Here is my husband, Nuncle. Any man who wants me should take it up with him." (AFFC, The Iron Captain)

Some time ago I wrote about this moment for Robb:

Again the shouting began. Catelyn sat despairing. She had come so close, she thought. They had almost listened, almost … but the moment was gone. There would be no peace, no chance to heal, no safety. She looked at her son, watched him as he listened to the lords debate, frowning, troubled, yet wedded to his war. He had pledged himself to marry a daughter of Walder Frey, but she saw his true bride plain before her now: the sword he had laid on the table." (AGOT Catelyn, XI)

Robb was undone by a series of choices, his own and others, but I think Martin is consistent and insistent on his anti war stance, and it is this moment that Robb's fate was sealed, the moment he chose the sword.

As sympathetic as we are to Robb's cause, we're clearly meant to have realized that Cat was right. (link)

and we have all pointed to Dany's "bride of fire" as a worrying sign. However, Bran is wed to the trees, so it is possible there will be later opportunities for each of the remaining characters to choose a path, and perhaps that will be the moment where Asha fully becomes aware of what they've been doing.

I was gonna just leave this ask there, but I skimmed some of her chapters again because I couldn’t remember them that well, and Robb is actually mentioned to support her plan for peace, so she’s an interesting blend of what Robb chose and Cat’s good instinct. This part also strikes me. She isn’t obsessed with the title, she wants power to achieve a certain end, one that’s presented as a good option compared to the others

So, even if she isn’t reformed, we’re meant to see value in her stance. She also does have this moment which may be pointing to a change in her thinking, it at least indicates a certain awareness of what they’ve done

and I thought this was a rather poignant moment that Martin could play forward.

So, I agree with you that she’s presented as a sexy badass, and I’ll take your word for it that fandom doesn’t fully register her complicity in the crimes of the Ironborn, but there is, or at the very least, is the potential, for her story to grow in an interesting direction.

I understand your frustration though. It’s tiring to have every flaw of Sansa’s exaggerated until half the fandom is convinced she’s a murderess while the characters who do worse things are celebrated as feminist queens. 😐

#dot chat #asha greyjoy #anti asoiaf fandom

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ninjakk · 1 year

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This is more of fanon question but what do you think of stright boy wwx, who everyone knows he’s gay but him, doesn’t know his feelings even though he’s having sex with lwj.

And lwj still does shave sex with him even though he does think wwx is stright and won’t have feelings for him.

Hi Anon,

Wow, is this really a thing!? 🤔

I think they're reading a different book 🤣

Well my honest opinion would be that whoever thinks this really does not have much of an understanding of the characters in MDZS, or the plot for that matter. Whether this is something that some truly see in the novel or something they put in fanfic, it's just bizarre.

Firstly, only a few people made assumptions with regards to WWX's feelings towards LWJ. Really it was only the juniors who noticed something between them. JC was in denial the whole time (across both WWXs lives) until he couldn't deny it any longer - and even then he tried! Personally I think WQ noticed WWX acted differently around LWJ and at some point WN picked up on something between them as well. But bar that, most people wrongly thought the pair hated each other! So that's just wrong right from the start!

WWX is extremely emotionally intelligent, he understands people very well and that includes himself as well. Yes, he lies to himself and pushes his true feelings down at times - but this is a coping mechanism. He feels so deeply, his only way to cope about certain emotions that might bring him pain, is to play them down or convince himself they are different to what they are.

WWX is just trying to protect his heart. He lies to himself about his feelings for LWJ because to him, the latter wasn't interested. Yet WWX was still drawn towards him every time they met, because LWJ is the only one he's ever truly wanted. By the time WWX and LWJ have sex, WWX is more than sure of his feelings for LWJ! In fact just before all of this, WWX is so sure of his feelings he's absolutely terrified LWJ might not feel the same way.

So I think any idea of a fanon or fanfic WWX that is as emotionally dense as 'straight boy' WWX is, is just so far from the actual character, I don't see the point in them reading the novel, being a fan or writing fic using WWXs name if this is their take on him, as it's clearly not the character MXTX created.

As for LWJ having sex with this warped version of WWX, he simply wouldn't. As much as LWJ loves WWX, he would not have meaningless sex with him just because the latter 'doesn't mind'. Just looking at the end of chapter 95 and chapter 96, where WWX thinks LWJ has only just sobered up and is upset that they had sex. This scene should be enough to show anyone that this is not in LWJs character. WWX desperately tries to salvage their relationship because he loves LWJ so much he wants to be with him anyway he can. So he makes it out it was just something friends do! LWJ is so distraught at the possibility WWX didn't have romantic feelings for him, yet shared an extremely intimate moment with him anyway. How can anyone think he would just have sex with WWX if he thought WWX wasn't interested in him. It just wouldn't happen.

So again, I think that this fanon idea or whatever it is, is just so far from the truth it's just strange! Anyone who wants this to be canon should just go find another novel to read quite frankly!

It can take time to understand your sexuality and shaming a character who actually realised it pretty fast considering the circumstances, is just shallow and ironically makes them the "oblivious" ones they so often like to accuse WWX of being. It's obvious WWX would have realised his sexuality a lot sooner if LWJ had given him a little hint back when they were teens. Which isn't LWJ's fault of course, because people seem to forget he was coming to terms with his own feelings at the time as well! But if he'd given WWX a sign, he'd have been spurred on and pursued LWJ until they were a couple.

In WWX's own words:

"...If he doesn’t want me, I’ll bother him to the point that he does.”

Chapter 125 - Lotus Seed Pod extra, ExR

Although he wasn't fully prepared to accept what context the above proclamation was in, he still meant it! 🥰

I'm guessing you feel the same way about this obnoxious interpretation as well Anon, since you used the term fanon 😉 so that's a relief! Have a lovely day and enjoy the canon version of WWX and LWJ in all their true glory ❤️

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs novel #anon ask #answered ask

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heartlandians · 2 months

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Exclusive Interview: Spencer Lord Discusses the Mystery Around His Character in Heartland, Teases Family Law Season 3, and More

Spencer Lord is one of the industry’s most exciting new voices. After leaving a career in the corporate world behind, Spencer dove headfirst into acting and has gone on to land coveted roles in projects, including Riverdale, The Good Doctor, and Family Law. It’s his vulnerability, subtlety, and emotional depth that have captured the hearts of audiences around the world.

Currently, Spencer can be seen starring in the latest installment of Heartland. In Season 17, Amy (Amber Marshall) and the rest of the Heartland family know better than most that while dreams can sometimes come true, more often life takes us in unexpected directions. Spencer shines as Nathan Pryce Jr., a mysterious character who rolls back into town and holds a special place in Amy’s heart.

Pop Culturalist was fortunate enough to speak with Spencer about Heartland, bringing the many facets of Nathan to life, the upcoming season of Family Law, and more.

PC: You graduated with a mechanical engineering degree and worked as a project manager. What ultimately led to the transition to your work as an actor? How challenging was that pivot? Spencer: I went to university because it was the next “logical step” and pursued a technical degree because I was always praised for my aptitude in science. When I entered the workforce, I think I started to be more honest with myself. I was unhappy, sometimes severely depressed, and eventually realized I needed a huge change if I was going to feel whole. That’s what I know now. At the time, it was just, “I hate this job, I want to love what I do.” So, I started going to scene study classes, got some work at a restaurant, and quit my desk job.

In some moments, I thought I might be an idiot, giving up a steady gig for something as fickle as a career in acting, but I never once second-guessed myself. And I immediately fell in love with it. I love venturing out and trying new things, not knowing what’s next—like wading through water in the dark. And I get bored easily, so the irregularity of this industry ironically soothes some of my deepest anxieties. In a lot of ways, the pivot from desk job to struggling actor was the easiest decision I’ve ever made.

PC: Who or what has had the biggest influence on your career? Spencer: I could bore the hell out of anyone reading this and write a ten-page essay about the people, places, and things that have influenced me along the way. But I think I can boil it down simply to community.

My sense of community has grown and flowered into one of the most beautiful aspects of my life. I’m so, so lucky to find myself among a group of friends who care deeply for one another and inspire each other in myriad ways.

PC: You’ve had a lot of success already in your young career. When you look back, is there a particular moment that stands out? Spencer: The first class, signing with the first agent, being dumped by the first agent, signing with the agent I should have been with all along, the first booking, being on set for the first time (and every time), working with some truly lovely people along the way… I could go on, but it’s all been a sort of fantastic magical mystery ride, and I’m always just doing my best to appreciate every moment of it all.

Most recently, I got to work in the foothills of the Rockies, riding horses around on vast swathes of ranch land in Alberta. That was pretty damn cool.

PC: You recently joined the cast of Heartland. What can fans expect from Nathan? What was it about this particular character and series that resonated with you? Spencer: Mystery is starting to become a theme here because that’s one word that I would use to describe Nathan. But the mystery is really born from a damaged sense of belonging that he feels coming back to a community he was forced to leave after his parents separated.

I was raised by my mother as well after my parents separated and my dad moved away. As a boy, I idolized my father. Later on, as a man, I realized that I hadn’t really discovered who I was because I had modeled myself after someone who simply wasn’t me. I think Nathan is experiencing something similar. Having to step into his father’s shoes with regard to the ranching business while retaining his unique personality and autonomy is his challenge, all while bearing his father’s name.

Shirking the expectations of our parents ain’t always easy, and Nathan feels that.

PC: Your character finds himself returning to a town that he left several years prior, and it isn’t well-received by all, a situation you’re bringing much depth and nuance to. As an actor, how did you create the space for yourself to tackle the journey that Nathan finds himself on and shedding those walls? Spencer: What a compliment. Thank you. I must say, I found the writing did most of the work over the course of the season. Mark Haroun, the showrunner, really wanted Nathan to have a real rawness to him. He did a beautiful job slowly revealing Nathan’s character in a way that felt natural. All I had to do was, as you say, create space and say the words.

That’s always our job as actors. We’re blessed with words on a page which, if we’re open to receiving them, inspire us to action. I’m always trying to be more open and create space for spontaneity, in my work and in my life. As for how I do that, I’m not sure. Self-discovery for sure. Curiosity. A lil’ dash of yearning for adventure. In the end, it’s all a big… you guessed it. Mystery.

PC: This series is built on the relationships among the characters. Which was your favorite to explore this season and why? Spencer: This might be the obvious answer, but Amy and Nathan’s interplay pulled me right in. I appreciated the chance to explore a friendship that grows through adversity, has highs and lows, and isn’t just a simple “I like you, you like me, let’s be best buds.”

Nathan is emotionally stunted by a tumultuous upbringing, reintegrating into a community he was forced to leave behind and taking control of his dad’s ranch. Amy’s family runs a competing ranch, and her father and grandfather don’t care for Nathan’s business tactics, but she shows Nathan kindness in spite of her family’s jaded opinions of him. To me, these are very interesting circumstances.

These are the nuances and complexities that bring the characters closer to life, and that is my jam.

PC: Season 3 of Family Law will be released on the CW on January 17, 2024. Congratulations, by the way! What are you most excited for fans to see with regard to Aiden? Spencer: Thank you! I think the fans will get to see a softer side of Aiden, and a little more of an idea about why he’s so attracted to Abby.

PC: Playing Aiden is the longest you’ve lived with a character. Has anything about the experience surprised you? What has been the biggest takeaway thus far? Spencer: I take things as they come, and so far with Aiden, that’s been a pretty great experience. I think the biggest takeaway so far has been to allow that to happen, taking things as they come. The world of TV can change so fast, and when you sometimes have very little time to digest the material, the most you can hope for is a story that is exciting and dynamic, and that flows through you with ease. Susin Nielsen, our showrunner, and her team of writers, thread that needle so wonderfully. I’m very grateful to work with them to bring Aiden to life.

To keep up with Spencer, follow him on Instagram.

Source

#heartland #spencer lord #interview #pop culturalist #season 17 #nathan pryce #other projects #family law

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thewingedmuse · 2 years

Text

light at the end of the tunnel 🌠

this reading is for those of us who feel like we have hit rock bottom.

there's nowhere to go now but upwards.

hope blooms in the darkest of places.

don't give up. this reading is a sign that the light at the end of the tunnel is nigh.

Pick-a-Pile — “If you feel hopeless, read this.”

🔑 Note: Each reading contains an image infused with the healing energy of my spirit companion H, along with the extra push towards the direction which you seek. To use, simply meditate and gaze softly at the image. You might receive intuitive messages or see visions in them. If you need an answer, clear your mind and they will come to you. May you find comfort and success. Much love!

Dividers are from Firefly Graphics. Above pictures made with Wombo Dream. Individual pictures in each pile from Unsplash.

Pile 1 🌠 Pile 2

Pile 3 🔦 Pile 4

Pile 1

Cards: Two of Pentacles (r), The Devil (r), Wheel of Fortune (r)

You've been struggling. You feel so hopeless like a car running on the last drops of petrol, about to collapse. You feel so tiny compared to the problems you're facing. Probably financial and related to family. It might be that your family (the people who are supposed to aid you) turned their back on you or weren't able to help you out of this. I feel resentment and anger from you, plus jealousy from those around you. These are people who have known you since a long time ago. They were jealous of your capabilities and qualities they wished they had. Beware of rumours they might spread. Be always ready to defend yourself if necessary but only do so when your boundaries are crossed because this is not the right time to ignite unnecessary unprovoked fights.

Your financial situation will improve if you try your best to earn enough while cutting any unnecessary spending. Spend minimalistically. Keeping the essential things up including your basic needs should be your top priority. You will get through this. This situation is not going to stretch for long. As long as you play your cards right you will see improvement. There are people willing to help you. If you have anything to trade their help with, for example art commissions, repairs, help drive them, etc then you'd find that they could help lighten your burden. If you have more mouths to feed other than yourself, consider enlisting help to take care of the younger ones.

I know it's not easy to put on a tough face. You've been tough for so long, you were always expected to be strong and to be the one who shoulders the burden. Take a deep breath and relax your shoulders. What's happening now is truly challenging. You are very brave for doing what you do. I wish you all the best outcomes. The cards are smiling for you, and so is the future.

Now, looking at the Wheel of Fortune card, it tells that you are about to receive an academic or career opportunity. You might be quite young. This opportunity involves learning a craft/trade so if it's a career, you'll be an apprentice. I see that this is something that you're going to enjoy. It's going to pique your curiosity and make you want to improve. You're not going to remain in this school or apprenticeship permanently. After taking this opportunity you'll fly to greater places where you'll study in greater detail and make a stable living out of it. I'm not sure if you'll pursue the same field as the apprenticeship though. What I see on the cards is neutral. Your greatest quality that helps you to excel in any fields is your genuine curiosity and dedication to your goals. You're studious and steadfast; intellectual and witty. When you're really interested in something you'll always excel at it.

Your mind is full of explosive emotions though, I think it's from your life and the problems you're going through. This might cause nightmares. There is a lot of anger, I feel someone tightly clenching their fist and jaw, feeling wronged, feeling like you're offered less than what is reasonable, feeling like you just want to raise the middle finger to the world and yell "f*ck you!" You must find a healthy outlet to release this anger because if you keep it burning in you it's going to hurt you. You might make rash decisions that doesn't serve you if you become imprisoned by this anger. Your heart might be filled with so much injustice that it drowns out your gratitude for good things, or make you see illusions like everyone is against you. Don't lose yourself. Retreat into your heart and remember each and every happy memory, and every person that loves you and has helped you. Remember the little things that make you feel alive; your fondest memories. You are loved. Despite everything, you are loved by those who love you.

And now, a message from H and a little gift from them:

You still have your fist tightly clenched as the day you were born.

Relax your grip.

Wash your eyes, smile anew.

Airplanes fly because they have fuel.

Now that you've got fuel in you, I wonder if you'd choose to land where you once fell.

It's okay to make mistakes as long as we learn.

We all fall. Growth is learning to give up the wrong things to pick up the right things.

It's not too late at all.

No planes are late here, you're running on the right time frame.

You should trust yourself more.

Pile 2

Cards: Nine of Cups (r),The High Priestess, Ten of Swords

A wreckage. Something that used to be flawless, whole and perfect now is scarred and broken by lies, misunderstandings and fragile ego. An argument. I will not pick sides as I see that both sides need to come clear and achieve a mutual understanding. I'm seeing the angrier person in this argument is allowing anger to blind their rationality. It doesn't matter in this reading whether they are right or wrong, it only matters that they are approaching this situation with an aggressive, unhelpful mindset. This person has a fragile, damaged ego, very arrogant about the version of truth they believe in. They think they were being lied to and cheated on. Their pride is hurt. They are filled with self pity and blind anger, lashing out at everyone they think wronged them. This person has allowed anger to make this situation appear more dramatic when actually it's something that needs to be approached with a clear head. I'm not getting any signs whether this person is you or the person you're dealing with, so I feel this will vary from person to person who choose this pile. Whether you are this person or not, you need to approach this situation with a rational mindset and not give in to emotions.

Your emotions are going to test you, this other person (if it's not you) is also going to test your limit to see up to what point you can tolerate their hurtful words. You have to stand your ground and defend your principles. You cannot let them get away with the hurtful things they say to you or the outrageous things they assume of you. If you think it will help, write a list of things you want to say to them but don't rehearse or memorise them. This is just to land you in a calm state and allow you to think about every point you want to make to this person.

You're not a saint either, for those who resonate with this particular message. You know that you've been hiding shady things under the counter. For a while you've been letting sadness, hesitation and a desire to sweep things under the rug to make your decisions for you. You hope that things are going to be good as long as you don't do anything. This has actually allowed suspicion to grow between you and your person. There is still so much more worth cultivating in this relationship, so many beautiful memories that get forgotten in the midst of anger and suspicion. Regardless what kind of future you'd like to pursue with this person, a heart-to-heart talk would lighten your burden. If you want to, and if they want to, you can sit down and finally be transparent with each other about what has been happening. Don't blame, don't point fingers, don't suppress emotions. Let it out in a healthy manner. Be brave enough to show vulnerability to each other. Speak your truth but do not say hurtful words. Do not leave regrets, they're much too heavy for two hearts still in love with each other. I'm not seeing a definite outcome in your future regarding this situation. The High Priestess usually appears with a mystery, signifying things that you're not supposed to know until you make a conscious decision.

The Ten of Swords carries no message but a question: if this situation you're experiencing is the ultimate worst, and you're not going to experience any worse than this, how are you going to try to climb back up?

And now, a message from H and a little gift from them:

Imagine a music box.

Dancer in it swing around and around, dancing to that sweet, nostalgic tune.

One day you found it broken, and the tune was damaged, piercing your ears.

It sings, you're a stranger to me.

And so you say, you're a stranger to me too.

What would you do?

Discard because you know it has run its course...

Or salvage its memories and try to forge anew?

Be true to yourself.

Pile 3

Cards: Ten of Cups (r), Nine of Pentacles, King of Pentacles, Strength

A past vision of a happy family living a simple, abundant life now seems a distant dream. You just wanted a roof to live under, now even that is becoming a problem. First I see a parent (possibly mother) suffering from alcohol addiction, drinking day and night to forget about her husband who returns home no more. Old and new newspaper was the scent of the home. Next I see two friends since childhood playing together, making grass rings for each other and promising that they'd meet again when they're all grown up. This friendship is precious and nostalgic, however now that they've grown up, one of them is burdened with family issues. They have a drunk mother they are worried about, a heavy load of debt and they fear they're going to walk down the same path. It all seemed like just yesterday when they were playing on the field without any worries in the world, how did everything change so fast? Their father is a distant memory now, they can't even actively remember his face if they tried to, but that brought them a strange sense of comfort knowing that they no longer missed him or needed him.

I get a mild indicator that this person is you, however I also feel a sense of numbness, like you don't identify with it completely. The energy was very disjointed but vivid. Because of this, I use 3rd person pov instead of 2nd, as I feel inappropriate inserting you in a role that doesn't sit right. I'm curious if it resonates with you. This next paragraph read from the Nine of Pentacles card has your energy strongly, so I'll use 2nd ppov.

You are not without ambition though. You want to make a career in the fashion industry. You're very visual and have your own style. You like bright colors and are all about showcasing your boldness and eccentricity. You thrive in competition. You have quite a quick wit and sharp tongue, some might comment saying you're a smartass but you're never someone who'd care what the haters are saying. You bloom unapologetically and those who see how you glow can never forget how they wish they could be like you. You move fast in your life, you don't like to be stagnant and you are a bit restless when you settle down, always hoping for the next big thing to embark on. Your life might be slow and stagnant right now though and it's boring you so much. You make people feel breathless as they see you juggling different things all at once but you always seem to manage it beautifully. You are a rare combination of the Diva and the girl next door. People can't figure you out easily, not that you'd like them to. You're a bright butterfly at the edge of the forest; seen once, never again - like a miracle.

You have a natural charm. Not afraid to speak up, especially for your besties. Because of this you naturally become the leader in many groups you're in. Once in a blue moon when you feel comfortable enough with someone you'd let down your guard and show your motherly, nurturing side to the trusted few. Your strength and softness is so comforting. You are a fortress when your friends are hurt; a soft meadow when they need a listening ear.

Right now though, Pile 3, it seems you're facing financial problems. They have been in the background as a waiting threat for a while, but recently they've been creeping up on you. You're doing a small (side) business that involves handicraft. It lets you earn some quick bucks over time but you worry if it's going to be enough in the long run. Another reason why financial problems is prominent to you now is because you're planning something big (like a vacation, not purely for fun but for getting closer to a career opportunity) and you want to make sure that you have enough funds for the trip. I feel that a part of you has already surrendered to the belief that you're never going to make it. You might have also read some readings that confirmed this belief. Well, do you believe that this belief is stronger than your conviction? You've always been able to make what you want come true, how is this an exception?

The King of Pentacles advises you to stop overthinking about this situation. All that thinking is not going to serve you. You think this is facing reality? No it's not, it's called self defeat and you know you are better than that. Focus instead on the money you're earning. Know that each dollar you make no matter how insignificant it appears to be, it's taking you closer and closer to your goal. You're going to make it, not in the conventional way you planned. One thing would lead to another, maybe unexpected help would happen, maybe you get another option that would propel you closer to your goal than slowly making money could, maybe you'd get a free ride. Don't fixate on the "how". You're already there. And no I'm not speaking on this from the law of assumptions point of view, I never muddle readings with my own thoughts. I read this purely from the cards.

You keep biting your own hand though. You have several contradicting aspects of you. One side of you is nurturing and wants to provide yourself with love and understanding. Another aspect of you is the polar opposite, wanting to lash out and show the other self that kindness isn't all there is because it is often repayed with injustice. This aspect could stem from hurt childhood memories. Your nurturing self wins the battle almost all times. This tells me that you are a strong, nurturing and self aware person. You are not the other aspect, it is merely a sign of unhealed scars. You are truly lovely to read for, Pile 3. I hope you find the peace and happiness that you seek.

And now, a message from H and a little gift from them:

Your shadow aspect does not dictate who you are. At your core, you've shown repeatedly courage and determination. I admire that in you. All your battle scars - it takes one night to gather them softly on your palms; it also takes just one night to clear them all away, kissing them deeply and acknowledging your wounds, then brushing them away, this time wishing them well. You're more than just what you're made of. Believe me, you've yet to see all of yourselves.

This night is long. Don't wait to drown. If you want to do it, simply do it. Who's to say you're not allowed to, wild child?

Like a lilly in the wild, show them how fragility is the core to all beauty. I'll see you when your dreams become set in stone. Goodbye, and carry my blessings.

Pile 4

Cards: Ace of Pentacles (r), The Fool (r), Eight of Cups

I'm mainly sensing bored energy, like you have a lot of time on your hands but have nothing you find worthy to invest in. You're just biding time to see what happens. You're at a period of your life where you're seriously pondering what direction you want to pursue. You have several options but none that make you want to commit to. You are both practical and dreamy. You want a sustainable future but like to indulge in your imagination and ask the "what ifs". You're intellectual in a fun, curious, imaginative way. I think you'd do excellent in an environment that encourages you to explore and create.

It appears that you're faced with a dilemma of letting go of your past self. You have been in obstacles that shaped you into a new person, whether you've actively challenged your comfort zones or have been trying out new things to broaden your horizon. For some of you, this new thing may be a spiritual belief/lifestyle. You know that you're in the process of transformation and that you're taking a leap of faith towards creating the changes you want, bit you still find yourself reminiscing your old self like a nostalgic memory. The Fool in reversed advises you to not rush yourself in the process. Accept your emotions and release what you have to. Let your inner child know that despite this being challenging to you, you are always safe by being patient and understanding with yourself. You're being guided towards a new sunrise. Trust your steps. Your guides have much faith in you.

You might find that retreating into your sacred space may do wonders for healing your mind, body and spirit. For a while, distant yourself from social media and anything that doesn't provide you peace. Experience life minimalistically. Some of you have been wondering who you really are at your core. You'll be able to explore much about yourself by detaching from unnecessary things. Do inner work. Examine yourself from an inner point of view. Take trips, by this I mean visit places of nature where there are mountains and lakes and let yourself experience yourself as an extended part of mother earth. You've always belonged, you've never been an outsider. If you think yourself alien, perhaps it's time to get a diary to record your journey.

And now, a message from H and a little gift from them:

There was one friend I knew that had flowers as her eyes and antlers ash grey under the moonlight.

The forest admired her majesty, the woodland creatures crowned her Queen, but she saw not her beauty, and heard not her wisdom. Perhaps we all fail to see ourselves from time to time and require other - good natured ones I pray - to remind us all. But do you have your own people that would remind you when you fall to your own ignorance? If not, you will have to stand straight up and be your own eyes and supporting feet. The sunset heralds changes, be sure to not fall into pits of pride or lament the false things. You don't have immortality like my dear friend. You have a ticking watch on your hands that watch closely your every move. So make time, make wise, and make your journey one that you'd in the future think back to with a smile.

/// another message for another friend ///

Fair wanderer, if it is knowledge you seek, then pour yourself before the books and speak not in half learned truths. This should teach you material worth years to come. Don't fear time, for it is not too late. Don't let boredom eat you out from the inside, it's now time to create or let it fester as another “what if”.

#tarot #tarotblr #witchblr #pick a card #pick a pile #pac #tarot reading #divination #hopeless #help #advice #spiritual #spirit companion #thewingedmuse

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